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Okay, so I saw a few of these going around, and I figured it would be a good way to subtly make my way back onto the wiki. I'm going to rank every contestant ever on Total Drama, excluding Chris and Chef (because they're not contestants), Blaineley (because she's barely a contestant), and Mr. Coconut (because he's a coconut). So, the unlucky contestant to fall into last place is...

#37. Staci - The Compulsive Liar[]

StaciRanking

I feel kind of bad putting Staci all the way at the bottom because she only competed in one episode and for all we know she could be an awesome character. Unfortunately, I can’t put her above anybody else because I couldn’t stand her in the one episode she was in.

A compulsive liar character could be funny if used in the right way. The thing about Staci was that she wasn’t funny … like, at all. I don’t even think any of the writers liked her considering they pulled the “make anybody we’re supposed to hate bald” thing on her.

I don’t know if anybody has ever pointed this out, but Staci is pretty much Kristen Wiig’s character Penelope from Saturday Night Live. Penelope was also a compulsive liar who tried to one-up people with stories about her family, and though the similarities might not have been intentional, even the way Staci’s lines were delivered sounded a bit like the character. I tend to like the Total Drama characters who are similar to other, pre-existing characters (which you will see later in this ranking), but Staci is kind of a different story, as I didn’t like the Penelope skits to start with. Plus, her design just didn’t have the same aesthetic appeal that Total Drama characters usually have (and it’s not because she’s chubby, I’m just talking about feature shapes and color schemes).

So, for the fact that her character was completely pointless, Staci ends up on the bottom.

#36. Zoey - The Indie Chick[]

ZoeyRanking

I’m prepared to be boycotted by Zoey fans, but at least hear me out.

When the Revenge of the Island designs first came out, Zoey’s original design with the glasses and the Staci hair was absolutely adorable. The title of “The Indie Chick” totally fit that girl, and I really wanted to see her in action. Then, we got the Zoey that came on the show, and despite the bright red hair and the flower that is constantly devouring her head, she was as bland as bland can be.

Zoey’s audition where she says she wants to make more friends was something I could relate to, and it was cute when she was nervous about her first impression in the first episode. It all went downhill when she interacted with Mike. One of the main problems that I have with Zoey is that she doesn’t really have a personality of her own. She’s just an accessory to Mike. The only thing that Zoey proved herself to be in the early episodes (other than instantly in love with Mike that is) was gullible, otherwise she was just one half of the predictable Zoke romantic plot.

I would be totally neutral about Zoey if she’d remained just the love interest and been voted off at like the halfway point or so (even though that would kind of make her Trent 2.0) but the writers decided to drag her along as the token female all the way to the final three (because, honestly, Jo doesn’t count). And then came “Commando Zoey,” which pretty much was just the writers trying to make her perfect. Suddenly, gullible, personality lacking Zoey could do anything. Then, they had to keep this “Zoey can do anything” decision all the way through Total Drama All-Stars, making me hate her more and more each episode.

The fact that Zoey made it to third place in her original season and second in All-Stars is ridiculous to me. She doesn’t even have a personality, unless you’d consider “in love with Mike” to be a personality trait.

#35. Ezekiel - The Home Schooled Guy[]

ZekeRanking

Ezekiel is just as boring as Staci, but the writers keep on trying to bring this guy back. The only thing that bumped him up from the bottom spot is that (unpopular opinion here) I thought the feral Zeke plotline was funny. My brother and I would try and spot Ezekiel through all the episodes of World Tour, and since then whenever Chris says they’ll face their scariest challenge yet we assume it will have something to do with Zeke.

I’ll admit that a lot of my dislike of Ezekiel is because of what some fanfic writers have done with him. I get that we don’t know a lot about him so you can kind of roam free with his personality, but at some point over at fanfiction.net there suddenly became a lot of Ezekiel-centric stories where the writers pretty much gave him their own personalities and paired him up with the girl on the cast they thought was the hottest. I’m cool with him whenever he’s developed into his own character, but all of the bad portrayals of him have just left a nasty taste in my mouth.

#34. Cameron - The Bubble Boy[]

CamRanking

I didn’t mind Cameron in his original season. I thought the fact that he’s a bubble boy was funny and I liked that he got along pretty well with most of the others. Plus, I liked that his design was scrawny and that his glasses were too big for his face. It irritated me that he got to the final two because I’d assumed that Cameron would definitely beat Lightning (and the reasons why I was on Team Lightning will be saved for his entry).

Then came Total Drama All-Stars. I really wanted to rank the contestants without acknowledging All-Stars considering how god awful that season was, but I can’t ignore that my opinions on some characters changed because of it. I was really confused as to why Cameron was in All-Stars at all, as his story seemed complete in his original season. Then, it was more and more obvious that Cameron was going to be a main character in All-Stars. He was in the middle of random dramatic plotlines and ruined Sierra, and even though he should’ve been voted off several times he somehow survived every. Elimination.

Cameron quickly turned into that bug that you try and swat away but he just keeps coming back, until eventually it ends up flying up your nose or something. So that’s why he’s ranked so low. (On a more positive note, him using Scott as shark bait in the boat challenge made the entire episode for me.)

#33. B - The Silent Genius[]

BRanking

Um ... who?

In all seriousness, B had the potential to be a funny character. The fact that he didn’t talk even though he was a genius was fun (even though they already used the silent gag with Justin). I thought it was hilarious when he opened his coat like a flasher to reveal a bunch of tools in the snowball fight. But I literally can’t remember B doing anything else, so he has to go here.

(Also, I totally had a better inventor in my story ... I'm joking, of course.)

#32. Eva - The Bully[]

EvaRanking

I think if Eva stuck around a bit longer I actually would have liked her. Even though the writing for her is inconsistent, she seems aware of her anger management issues and even realized her mistake after lashing out at her team to cause her first elimination. To see her standing around stoically and then randomly turning into She-Hulk would be funny. Plus, her friendship with Izzy and Noah in the special shows that she has interesting taste in acquaintances, so I think she could’ve been a more interesting character than she seems.

I know that the episode she returns she was a vengeful psycho, but it made for a dramatic comeback, even if it only was one episode. I liked that they did acknowledge that some of the campers were totally ticked that they were eliminated, since a lot of them just seemed disappointed after their last campfire ceremonies. So even though her anger did seem a bit misdirected, I think Eva genuinely was angry that she had lost her chance on the show and was expressing it in the only way she knew how.

Unfortunately, Eva didn’t really get enough character development overall, so she has to remain low on the list.

#31. Justin - The Eye Candy[]

JustinRanking

I know that I watched Total Drama Action, but I literally can’t remember most of the entire season. I do, however, know that beyond his interactions with Beth I wasn’t really fond of the way they tried to expand Justin’s role into a villain, which really stinks because I liked Justin in season one.

In Total Drama Island, Justin didn’t do much, but whenever he did do something it was as flawless as he claims to be. Justin and his abs hypnotized the others into thinking he was a god, even if all he did was stand there and look pretty. And when he did more than that, it was hiarlious, because his actions were so over the top that they spoke for themselves. I mean, painting his eyes on in The Big Sleep was so stupid that it seemed smart. If Justin continued to be his silent, firefighting, Flashdancing, Owen-attracting self from TDI, I think he would’ve been a lot higher on my list.

#30 / #29. Katie and Sadie - The BFFFLs[]

KatieSadieRanking

Katie and Sadie will always be one joint Katie-Sadie character in my head, so it was only fitting to rank them together. I actually like them, and they are seriously adorable, even if they are just a rehash of the Khaki Clones from 6teen. These BFFFLs were over-the-top characters who pretty much just went on the show to say they did, and they went through some of the hardest moments of their lives on the show. I think everybody has a time in their teenager-hood when they’re inseparable from a friend, and Katie and Sadie are the perfect, air-headed example of that. The moment they soaked their butts in the river in the first challenge was what convinced my brother and I to stick around for episode two, because we are the type of people to think that is absolutely hilarious.

So for their crowning butt-soaking moment, Katie and Sadie place 30th and 29th on my list, but for their lack of overall interestingness, they end up here.

(Also, I might ship them a little. Don't judge me.)

#28. Scott - The Devious Country Boy[]

ScottRanking

Let’s start off with what I like about Scott: I like that he’s “white trash.” I like that he has freckles everywhere. I like that he has a running joke rivalry with Fang. Despite the fact that this is really all I can think that I like about Scott, he’s probably the only character that I liked better after Total Drama All-Stars than in their original season.

The thing that bugs me about Scott is that I hated him in TDRI, and not even in a love-to-hate antagonist way like Heather can be. Scott didn’t seem like he had any motivation for trying to eliminate people, and the order he targeted the contestants in just didn’t make sense. Considering he was the only antagonist of his season, I was just really underwhelmed, especially since his season followed the antagonist driven World Tour. He bored me, and his voice annoyed me, and I wanted the writers to surprise us and have him voted off early and have another antagonist later in the season.

In All-Stars, the writers gave up on the antagonist role and just wrote him as this trashy guy who eats dirt and can’t talk to girls. As out of character as that might be, I liked this version of Scott. I’m pretty neutral towards his relationship with Courtney (if relationship is even the right word considering how short-term and poorly written it was), but Scott on his own was actually an interesting guy in All-Stars.

Maybe I just didn't get Scott as a character? I don't know. If I was ranking Season 5 Scott, he’d probably be a lot higher on my list, but Season 4 Scott is dragging him down to this low of a ranking.

#27. Mike - The Guy with Multiple Personality Disorder[]

MikeRanking

Mike is a really complicated character for me, if only because the issue of using a mental illness as a character’s main personality trait really rubs me the wrong way. Characters like Izzy don’t bother me, as Izzy’s “psycho”-ness is because she’s off in her own world rather than having a mental disorder. With Mike, his character is defined with the fact that he has Multiple Personality Disorder (which is officially known as Dissociative Identity Disorder). It's even his stereotype.

I didn’t mind Mike that much in his first season except for how obnoxious his interactions with Zoey were. The fact that he was a character that had DID was something that didn’t bug me right away because they’d already used the “multiple personalities” angle with Izzy. Mike’s personalities were as exaggerated as it gets and were a lot of fun whenever they showed up, so I didn’t mind them because of the blandness of the TDRI cast without them. I liked that the love triangle was because of his personalities, as that was a creative twist.

I hated that Mike tried to hide his disorder as “acting” (because, honestly, was Zoey that dumb?) but at the same time it made sense to me. Many people with mental disorders don’t share that they have them unless necessary. Unfortunately, they come with a lot of stigma and people want to hide them. The fact that Cameron was willing to help Mike try to control his disorder was nice, and overall I liked Mike in his first season.

Then came All-Stars, where they portrayed Mike’s DID as a total joke. Something like that doesn’t just have an off button. If it was so easy to just “turn off” a mental disorder, don’t you think people would do it? And then they had to give him the abilities even after he lost the personalities, making him into Mary Sue Zoey’s perfect Gary Stu.

In short, Mike is a very problematic character for me, and while I liked his personalities as characters on their own, I found the fact that they used his disorder as a joke was just wrong.

#26. Beth - The Wannabe[]

BethRanking

Beth is a character that I’ve always felt neutral about. The first time I watched Total Drama Island all the way through, I couldn’t care less about Beth. I liked that she and Lindsay were Heather’s clique, because every mean girl needs followers, and I liked her overall naivety. Her Boney Island curse plotline was good for drama and made it so that the Killer Bass didn’t lose every single challenge, and I liked that she was the first to stand up to Heather. So that boosted her ranking a bit.

The thing about Beth is that she’s boring and unmemorable beyond being a wannabe in Heather’s posse. I know that she was given a redemption arc or something in Total Drama Action, but I really can’t remember her even being in that season. The only thing that makes Beth notable to me is that I know a girl who looks and acts just like her. She even does baton (albeit not on fire).

#25. Sam - The Gamer[]

SamRanking

Sam is one of those characters that I thought I would hate and stood corrected. Sam was that guy on his season who really just wanted to have a good time. The fact that Chris took away his game consoles was a good twist, because what type of character would he have been if that was all he did?

Sam was weird and fun and kind of repulsed everyone around him, and I think that’s why I liked him for some reason. Now that this is the video game age, we all know a Sam. My little brother literally is Sam. Sam was his favorite when he was around, so I think that made me like him too. I guess I’m biased. Whatever.

I loved the Sam/Dakota dynamic, especially that he loved her even more when she became a monster. Sam was pretty much the less interesting version of Harold, but unlike Harold, Sam wasn’t really that memorable. They kind of made him too much of a Seth Rogen joke than he was a character on his own, so he's stuck here in the ranking.

#24. Cody - The Geek[]

CodyRanking

Cody is a character that I thought I liked, but I’ve been re-watching Total Drama Island in my spare time and I really just don’t care about him. I liked that he had a ridiculous crush on Gwen and that he thought he was a ladies’ man. Cody is a character who I think a lot of young teenage guys would like when watching the show because they could relate to him, but I unfortunately am not a teenage guy so I couldn’t relate.

In World Tour, Cody was just there. He didn’t do much other than fuel Sierra’s quirkiness, which I was totally okay with, but overall he was just kind of wasting space and I can’t see any reason that he should have made it as far as he did. I liked World Tour and I liked most of the characters in it, so I kind of wish somebody else could have made it that far in his place. Also, am I the only one bothered by the fact that he like never sang? I can only remember him singing in "Condor."

(On another note, I ship him with Sierra. And Noah a little. Don’t judge me ... again.)

#23. Tyler - The Clumsy Jock[]

TylerRanking

I like comic relief characters, and Tyler is most definitely a secondary comic relief character, so I feel like I kind of like him by default. I love Tyler’s relationship with Lindsay. They’re the epitome of a showmance and are two idiots in love, which always leads to hilarity. Tyler on his own in the first season was funny whenever he did something. Even just the small scenes like him getting into a sprinter’s position and then running three times slower than anybody else in The Big Sleep were funny without being too in your face.

I liked that they brought Tyler back for World Tour if only to see him interact with Lindsay. I think that Tyler was an interesting character that season because they didn’t give him any significant character development even though he was around for a while. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, as his random comic relief works, and the small interactions that he did have with the rest of his team were nice.

Overall, though, he’s a bland character, and the shapes used in his design just don't work aesthetically for me, so I couldn’t place him any higher.

(Also, this is the only picture that I could have used for Tyler. This, for me, was one of the funniest moments of World Tour, and if I remember Tyler for anything it will be this.)

#22. Courtney - The Type A[]

CourtneyRanking

Courtney, Courtney, Courtney … I don’t know if I’ve been vocal about it on the wiki, but for a while Courtney was my most hated character out of the original cast. If asked why, I’d have a really tough time explaining it. In theory, I should like Courtney. I like Courtney types of characters, the goody two shoes who think they’re doing the right thing, but something just didn’t sit right for me with Courtney…

(Let the rant begin!)

A lot of what I disliked about her was that a lot of the episodes that she was in were all about her. I get that she was a main character, but Courtney’s plots were never quite as interesting as the other main characters’. I liked Courtney’s role on the Killer Bass as the self-appointed leader and team player, but I think that she tended to overshadow a lot of the other characters and she honestly did cost them several challenges without ending up in the bottom two. Her rather early elimination was totally unexpected and she was the first major character to leave, so I do like her for that (though I guess that's not liking her as much as it is liking the twist).

I liked Courtney’s friendship with Bridgette whenever it was featured, and I did like Courtney and Duncan’s relationship, but they weren't my favorite even though I know they've always been what I think is the most shipped couple. I liked the opposites attract idea and the fact that he let her loosen up in the first season. It’s when Total Drama Action came around that I started to hate her even more.

I was thrilled that Courtney wasn’t on the cast, as I just found her annoying and I knew how badly her relationship with Duncan would be pushed. Then she had to premiere and take over literally every episode. It was the problem that I’d started seeing in the first season but a hundred times worse. Every episode was Courtney this, Courtney that, Duncan-and-Courtney this! The episodes that I remember from Total Drama Action are the earlier Courtney free ones. I literally think that my brain has blocked out the second half of the season because it was such a Courtney fest.

World Tour redeemed her a little. I didn’t like her obsessing over Duncan still, but when he left I began to tolerate her again. She’d become less annoying and more of the team player that she was in early TDI, and I did like her brief friendship with Gwen. Then, Duncan had to return and turn her back into the annoying clingy girlfriend that she tends to be.

I still couldn’t stand Courtney in All-Stars, but that’s probably because of how flip-flop the writing tended to be with her, so I didn’t really see her having a consistent personality with each episode. And again, there somehow managed to be Courtney relationship drama, which I think is what ruined her character for me.

#21. Trent - The Cool Guy[]

TrentRanking

Trent is a character who I thought I disliked, but watching season one again years later, I actually like him. For me, Trent was just the lesser half to my favorite pairing from the first season and he didn’t really seem to do much on his own other than get hurt. Whenever he did things that were not Gwen-related, they were always kind of … well, weird. And this is before the obsessive number nine thing from TDA. The best example I can think of off the top of my head is the force-feeding incident from Brunch of Disgustingness, or the random threat to Cody after the canoe trip to Boney Island. Something about Trent was just off to me.

When I started re-watching TDI, Trent actually had a much bigger role than I thought. I think that what made him seem so boring was that he was the “normal” guy compared to the over the top personalities on the show. While he was in the same "surrounded by idiots" situation as Gwen, he didn’t try to push everyone away and instead just kind of rolled with it. Trent has a lot more lines than I thought he did, and he’s often one of the characters who almost always talks when present for a group conversation (other than the major players like Heather or Gwen). Trent got along with most of his teammates, which was really rare considering the team he was on.

The thing about Trent is that while I think I like him, he bores me. His personality wasn’t really clear beyond him being chill and danger-prone, and I don’t think the writers really knew what to do with him beyond making him a love interest. Maybe if we could’ve seen him competing in the competition without Gwen then my opinion would change. Also, if the writers ever tried to give Gwen/Trent a second try, I'd definitely support it even though I like Gwen/Duncan too.

#20. Dakota - The Fame-Monger[]

DakotaRanking

Now we’re getting into the characters that I really like! When the TDRI promos came out, I was kind of angry that Dakota was a Paris Hilton parody and obsessed with fame, because one of the biggest antagonists in my story is exactly that. I started watching the season thinking that I was going to hate Dakota because I assumed she’d be the main villain.

Boy, was I wrong. I liked Dakota a lot because her personality wasn’t a second try at Heather. Rather than make her the queen bee, Dakota was hungry for fame to a point where it was almost pathetic. She was prissy and whiny but her personality was so over the top that I actually liked it, and the fact that she was eliminated but came back as an intern made sure that she didn’t get as much screen time as the competing contestants, avoiding her becoming a whining camera hog like Courtney sometimes was. Her relationship with Sam was totally random for me but I definitely ship it.

I don’t like the idea that she was mutated at all. I really hated the idea of the radioactive season to start with because the idea of a mutation like that squicks me out, even if it is just a cartoon. I hated that they took a character who would’ve fit perfectly into season one and ruined her by turning her into a monster. But hey, at least Sam likes it.

#19. Bridgette - The Surfer Girl[]

BridgetteRanking

I am so sorry, but this is the picture that I had to use for Bridgette. This and Katie and Sadie’s butt soaking are the defining moments from the early episodes of TDI for me, as ridiculous as that is.

Overall, I like Bridgette. I think the concept of her being a surfer who is graceful at sea but clumsy on land is great, though I wish we could’ve actually seen her surf at some point. I like her design a lot and I like that she’s very normal compared to the other characters but isn’t ever really bothered by it. Bridgette is one of those contestants who managed to have a great relationship with most of her teammates from the first season and even some of the players on the other team.

I think that what I liked the most about Bridgette is that she is a character who almost all elimination shows seem to have. There’s always the one down to earth girl who can be “one of the guys” that everybody seems to like. I always was rather neutral towards Bridgette and originally was going to have her ranked before Dakota, but watching the first season made me warm up to her a lot more (even if she’s another character who realistically should’ve been eliminated earlier based on her challenge performance).

Overall, I think Bridgette has been the character that I think is one of the most “real” in personality. She’s a calm and caring surfer girl, but she also has a large number of flaws and slip-ups in every season. So I like Bridgette a lot … I just like the characters ranked above her a little more.

#18. Brick - The Cadet[]

BrickRanking

Okay, so I’m going to start off by saying that the main reason that I first liked Brick is because I ship him and Jo hard. But as his own character, I really liked him a lot. I like that he’s a military guy who stands firmly by his own moral code, even when it gets him into terrible situations.

The thing that made me like Brick a lot is that he was a comic relief character who thought he was a tough soldier but really was just a huge dork. In some ways, he’s an different version of Tyler’s jock who is bad at sports gag, but I liked Brick’s rendition of the joke better. The twist that he wants to go to fashion school was completely unexpected for me. Brick was a guy who I wanted to know the backstory behind – was he forced into a military mindset by his parents when he really wasn’t cut out for it? Is he just a wimp who made it through military school by the skin of his teeth?

Brick was a chicken who thought he had leadership potential, and I liked him a lot. I loved seeing his power struggle with Jo (which she obviously won) and wish that he’d stuck around longer to see this interaction play out. Brick was a character that I was rooting for in a season of characters that I didn’t like all that much, and if he’d been in more episodes I think he’d be ranked a lot higher on this list.

#17. DJ - The Momma's Boy[]

DJRanking

DJ is another character that I like a lot better when I re-watched TDI. I think that a lot of people overlook DJ because he wasn’t in a relationship so he happens to usually serve as a secondary character. DJ has always been a likable guy for me, mostly because he looks like he should destroy the competition but he just wasn’t emotionally cut out for being on an elimination show.

Despite all of the strange plotlines that DJ has been in over the course of the series, I think that his is one of the personalities that stayed pretty consistent through the seasons. Though his momma’s boy traits have been exaggerated, DJ has always been a softie. Even though he usually played second fiddle to Geoff or Duncan in the first season, whenever DJ had his moments they always put a smile on my face, whether it was his ribbon dancing in the talent show, his prancing like a deer in the paintball challenge, or his fear of Heather in the psycho killer episode.

The thing about DJ is that he was easy to manipulate. From season one, he always latched onto Geoff and Duncan’s pranks on Harold even though he doesn’t seem like the type to do something like that, so I think that his alliance with Chef in TDA wasn’t actually a bad plotline. The fact that he was trying to get himself kicked off in TDWT was kind of lame, but I liked watching him in every episode, so I didn’t mind that he stuck around a little longer than necessary. I think it’s really neat that DJ was eliminated in unorthodox ways every season, as he’s someone who’s just impossible to vote off because he’s such a good guy.

#16. Izzy - The Psycho Hose Beast[]

IzzyRanking

Izzy is probably one of the most iconic characters of TDI because she’s the perfect example of why a cartoon reality show works. Every reality show seems to have a contestant who’s an absolute whacko, and Izzy was every reality show kook … but times a thousand. “Psycho Hose Beast” (which I really hope is a Wayne’s World reference) is perfect to describe her: Izzy is completely off her rocker, but she’s also an unstoppable beast of a character in challenges, even if she rarely won them.

I think Izzy is one of the fan favorite characters, as I don’t think I’ve ever met somebody who doesn't like Izzy. She’s also a hit or miss character in fanfics, as I think a lot of authors tend to take her oddness too far or try too hard to make her as random as possible. Still, I think it’s hard not to like Izzy, whether it’s in the show or in fics.

I think there’s only so much of Izzy that I can take, though, since by the third season I was just kind of tired of her and was glad that she didn’t come back after being eliminated (and trust me, I had definitely expected her to show up again). I liked the bizarre Izzy from season one who was a wanted criminal and wanted to try all the dares for fun, and I liked the even weirder Izzy from season two for not caring about any of the rules and doing whatever she wanted, but by season three I think I was all Izzy’d out.

#15. Leshawna - The Sister with 'Tude[]

LeshawnaRanking

Like DJ, I think Leshawna is a totally underrated character. Really, Leshawna started off as a semi-racist stereotype, but she was always treated as a positive character. Yes, she was a “ghetto” girl, but the only character that ever saw this as a negative thing was Heather. Her conflict with Heather and her friendship with Gwen kept Leshawna in a supporting hero type of role, and she actually dominated in the challenges right after the merge. So while the “ghetto fabulous” joke could’ve been rude, Leshawna was a character beyond that.

I think what I really like about Leshawna is that a lot of her personality traits remind me of the over the top contestants on America’s Next Top Model. She is a big, loud, and proud sister who nobody messes with, and that made her a lot of fun. Leshawna didn’t take crap from anybody, especially if they made fun of her booty or her weave, and as much of a racial stereotype as this could be, I think the writers managed to keep her just out of the totally offensive zone.

I think Leshawna is often overlooked for other characters, but Total Drama Island wouldn’t be the same without her. She was a major part of the first season even though she was rarely the main focus of an episode and I enjoyed every minute of her over the top personality. I really wish that her relationship with Harold was played up a bit more (but that might just be my love of Napoleon Dynamite and the Kip/LaFawnduh relationship speaking), and I wish that Leshawna played a more major role in more episodes in the series. Overall though, I love Leshawna for the completely exaggerated character that she is.

#14. Lightning - The Athlete[]

LightningRanking

I think I'm the only person on the face of the earth to say this, but Lightning is my favorite male character from Revenge of the Island. It’s really tough for me to explain why I like him, but I’m going to try as hard as I can.

First off, I enjoy that he is a character who is just such an exaggerated stereotype. It's like the writers took every negative stereotype that comes along with being a jock (competitive, vain, dumb), mixed them all together in a fondue pot, and ended up with Lightning. He was a character who loved himself more than anything else in the world and was so cocky that it made him blind to everyone else around him. He was so dumb that he didn’t know that Jo was a girl, which is literally the best running joke that season.

Instead of making him an early boot like he seemed to be, somehow Lightning’s selfishness and lack of intelligence ended up being the traits that kept him in the game. He wasn’t smart enough to realize how bad of an idea making alliances could be, but his pride made him ditch the other member because they were holding him back. All Lightning cared about was his over-inflated ego, and his inability to give a crap about the other contestants ended up working for him.

Were his bicep kissing and catchphrases annoying? Yeah, but that’s such an athlete thing to do that it actually made sense why he did it. I can’t even name how many professional athletes have their own “thing,” whether it’s having big hair, an end zone dance, or Tebowing. I thought Lightning was hilarious for some reason. He was definitely the funniest contestant in Grand Chef Auto, and I cracked up when he was riding around with Fang. I was definitely rooting for him to win even though I thought there was no way that the writers would let him beat Cameron, and I think I was the only American who was delightfully surprised that he took the victory in our country.

Also, can we please talk about how one of Lightning’s trivia points is that he “had a friend named Thunderbolt until they both got fed up with people shouting ‘Mama Mia’ at them’? Because that is a well-placed Queen joke that I bet Lightning doesn’t even understand, and that makes it absolutely hilarious.

#13. Dawn - The Moonchild[]

DawnRanking

When I was making this ranking, I had no idea where Dawn would end up. She was technically an early out so she didn’t last long, so I didn’t have a lot to judge her on. The thing about Dawn is that even though she was only around for a few episodes, I felt like I completely got her character. She was very special compared to the other characters that season and stood out because she was so unique. From the first moment she was revealed and somehow crossed the lake without getting wet, I knew that this was a girl that I was rooting for.

Dawn was nice and sweet and adorable, but she also knew how to call someone out. Albeit not on purpose, but she unintentionally threw some major shade when she told Zoey she was a lonely child or told Brick that all he wanted was to be dominated. Dawn told the truth and only the truth, which I’m sure is why she hated Scott for being dishonest and stealing (not to mention the whole fact that he got her eliminated).

In a season full of bland characters, Dawn was the most unique. I liked her bizarre powers because I love characters that are just so out there that none of the other cast mates really know what to do with them. She was out of this world in more ways than one, and I just really wish we saw more of Dawn.

As for her aura reading and strange abilities: Haven’t we all gone through that stage where we thought we had special powers? …Right? …Just me?

#12. Noah - The Smart Aleck[]

NoahRanking

When Noah showed up in the first episode and immediately complained about his life threatening allergies, my brother’s immediate reaction was “I didn’t know you were on this show.” Out of all of the characters on the show, I think Noah was the one who resembled me the most. No, I’m not an ambiguously brown boy with floppy hair and a massive head, but I think Noah and I share an outlook on life. I have literally filled out serious surveys with answers similar to the “meh” and “no thank you” that Noah provided on his Total Drama Online biography.

Noah was an early out in TDI, so I had pretty much forgotten about him until Playa des Losers came around and Noah was back at full force and was ten times funnier. He’d turned the sass up to eleven, and I was just so disappointed not to see him in TDA.

And then came World Tour. He was brought back by some miracle, and boy was the season without him worth it. I liked that he and Cody were friends in Total Drama, but this season Noah and Owen had a killer bromance that I never saw coming. Plus, Noah was the character who had the best jokes, like when he made fun of Cody’s “tiny sausage” and told Sierra that she was “stalkerlicious” and should buy a life on Craig’s List.

Considering a lot of the laughs on this show come from physical humor or fart jokes, somebody with a dry wit like Noah’s was such a refresher that it earned him a spot near the top of my ranking.

#11. Anne Maria - The Jersey Shore Reject[]

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I’m going to preface this write-up by saying that I am a huge fan of Jersey Shore. I don’t really know why, and I’m not going to claim that it’s not a terrible thing to be a fan of, but I just love that show and anything to do with many of its cast members.

Even with this said, I have a really hard time explaining why I like Anne Maria so much. She was a joke character in a love triangle with two other characters that I dislike, and I don’t think her name flows very well and wish it was Anamaria instead.

If it hasn’t been clear so far, I like characters that are terrible stereotypes. Anne Maria was a Jersey girl who didn’t give a damn what you thought about her. Her only concern was how her hair looked and she had no idea how much the other campers hated her, but even if she knew I doubt she would care. The jokes with her hairspray and her poof being hard as a rock were so typical but so funny. Her obsession with Vito is a bit problematic for me because it has to do with Mike’s personalities, but the fact that Anne Maria was so self-centered that she assumed that Mike (the guy that she didn’t care about) was an act that Vito was putting on worked for me.

I really don’t have a lot to say about Anne Maria. I loved every minute of her even though I probably shouldn’t, but it’s hard to explain where that love for her comes from.

Plus, girl quit the game because she was given a huge diamond. I don’t care that it turned out to be fake, because I would have probably done the exact same thing.

#10. Duncan - The Delinquent[]

DuncanRanking

I know this guy’s popularity has been slipping, but I still dig him. This nice guy in punk’s clothing is, at least in my opinion, one of Total Drama’s most iconic characters. If I had to think of which character would represent Total Drama (other than Chris), I think it would either be Duncan, Owen, or Gwen, as these three are characters that had been presented to us since season one as essential to the show.

Even though he has been established as a bad boy with a heart of gold, the reason that I like Duncan isn’t really because of his nice side. I like Duncan for the fact that despite his kindness, he’s still this street punk with a unibrow and facial piercings who has just come straight out of juvie. In the earlier episodes of season one, the other contestants were absolutely terrified of Duncan, and I thought that was pretty sweet. He flirted with ice queen Heather, brought a lighter to a fire building challenge, made his tribal face paint look like a member of KISS, and bullied token nerd Harold mercilessly. To wake him up to lead the dodgeball challenge, the Killer Bass literally poked him with a stick from ten feet away.

Even with this hardcore personality, the writers made it clear that Duncan wasn’t a villain. They gave him a nice side to make him more relatable, but he never really lost his punk side (well, until All-Stars, but I really hate talking about that season). Even in World Tour, Duncan got fed up with the competition and quit, even though that meant giving up his chance at the money.

Now, the elephant in the room when it comes to Duncan: the love triangle. I completely get what the writers were trying to do with it. Duncan and Courtney were the couple who was forced upon the audience the most, so the powers that be decided to break them up as some sort of statement about teenage romances. I really liked the idea of Gwen and Duncan even if it was just as friends, so I was pleasantly surprised that Gwen was at the other side of the triangle, but I don’t exactly hate Duncan with Courtney. I honestly didn’t think the love triangle was that bad in Action and World Tour. Courtney’s personality made it in character for her to be so territorial, and Duncan was just doing what he wanted. I liked the love triangle plotline (excluding All-Stars), and I didn’t ever really get the hate for it.

In the end, though, Duncan is a character who would probably have made my top four if he was in fewer episodes. Although he earned his placement in the first season, I feel like he just stuck around a bit too long in most of the seasons following it. Still, I really like this delinquent, so he gets the tenth spot in my ranking.

#9. Jo - The Jock-ette[]

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When I first saw the original designs for the ROTI cast, I just kind of shook my head at Jo’s design. They were going for a Sue Sylvester parody, and I really didn’t see why. They had their angry female jock in Eva, and they already had their token villain for the season in Scott, so what was the point? Was Sue Sylvester really a character that was popular enough to parody?

When the season premiered, I was surprised to find that I liked Jo. Actually, I loved Jo compared to the other contestants in the season. She was uber competitive and ruthless, but without Heather’s vanity or Courtney’s whiny qualities. Total Drama hadn’t really attempted a girl who wasn’t at least a little bit of a girly girl, so when Jo showed up she was something completely new and different. She was so different from most Total Drama girls that I really wasn’t surprised that Lightning thought she wasn't a girl. Jo didn’t have any time for friendships or relationship drama, because she genuinely didn’t care about any of that. Jo was competing for herself and wouldn’t let anybody stand in her way.

The thing that I like about Jo the most was her interactions with Brick. Normally, the writers would have attempted to give her a soft spot for a guy or something – in other words, they would have given Jo an Alejandro to her Heather. Instead, they completely turned that on its head. Despite the fact that I think there were plenty of hints making viewers support them in a relationship, Jo and Brick were strictly competition. While sometimes Jo did seem like she did have a side of her that wanted to feel like a girl (like when she thought she could seduce Sasquatchanakwa), she didn’t act any different around a guy like Brick, who could compete almost to her level yet was a gentleman in the way he treated her.

In short, Jo was competitive without being manipulative, and she was just something that we hadn’t seen before with a female character. For these reasons, she in all of her gray sweat suited glory has earned the position of my favorite ROTI character.

#8. Sierra - The Super Fan[]

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From what I’ve seen, Sierra seems to be a hit or miss character among fans. A lot of people seemed to find her annoying, but I kind of found her … endearing I guess? I was really not into the addition of two new characters before World Tour started, but there was something about Sierra that I liked.

First of all, her design is really fun. I like that she had a different body type, where she was taller and curvier than a lot of the other girls. I love that her race was ambiguous but was clearly not just a tanned white girl. And I love her purple hair with the swirl and the Princess Jasmine bulbs (though, honestly, when she came back for All-Stars they should have just scrapped the little wimpy ponytail because she would have looked fierce with her hair short in the back with the swirl in the front. …I am really passionate about hair. Don’t judge.)

Design aside, Sierra was a really fun character. She was an out there contestant who was kind of similar to Owen in the fact that the writers really didn’t care if she was grounded in reality. Characters like Sierra are what make the Total Drama series such a cartoon as opposed to a reality show. So while she never would have fit in with the drama in season one, Sierra was perfect for the over-the-top musical season. Every episode, she had something new, whether it was the pizza box computer, the Love Me Tea, or her Chris McLean facts.

I know it’s kind of strange to really like Sierra but really not care about Cody, but Sierra as a super fan served an important role in the show. The theme song to Total Drama says it all – most of the contestants are there to become famous. Well, Sierra is proof that they have become famous, or at least achieved mild tabloid fame. Sierra managed to do what I think Total Drama Action failed at showing in its theme, as she helped us understand that Total Drama as a show is a big deal in the cartoon universe that it is in. This is a concept that I really like and use in my own story, so the fact that Sierra really pushed it is a positive thing in my eyes.

Sierra was a lot of fun in World Tour and sometimes she would do something that was unintentionally hilarious. Plus, I like the fact that she was friendly-ish with Heather, since I think that the queen bee realistically would need an ally. Sierra was an exaggerated character, but I love her for that reason.

#7. Geoff - The Party Boy[]

GeoffRanking

You forgot that I hadn’t ranked him yet, didn’t you? Even though he has always been one of my favorites, I have always had a hard time explaining what it is that I like about Geoff. Really he could just be seen as a more toned down Owen, but there’s something about him that’s always stood out to me.

The thing about Geoff is that he strikes me as exactly the kind of guy that would actually appear on a reality show like TDI. Everyone knows that one teenage guy who is a party king like Geoff, and, in reality, that guy is the exact kind of sixteen year old boy that would enter a reality show. He’s a future frat boy with a tattoo on his butt who is probably a big fan of the Total Drama universe’s version of Jackass. He thinks he’s hot stuff but acts like a dork around the girl he has a crush on. Geoff is pretty much the definition of a dudebro, and while this is something that’s obnoxious in real life, it just worked as a character.

Based on that description, though, there really isn't anything that distinguishes Geoff from Owen. To me, the difference is that while Owen is pure comic relief, Geoff is part comedy and part an actual competitor. Also, Owen is a character that could carry an entire episode on his own, but Geoff really shines when he is grouped up with another character or two. In TDI, he was a character that we rarely saw without somebody else at his side, whether it was DJ and Duncan, Bridgette, or any of the other competitors. There’s one or two times when Geoff surprisingly takes on a small leadership role within the Killer Bass, and he only seems to bully Harold when it’s with the other guys (as in challenges he treats Harold like any other teammate, such as when he lets him get in the game in Dodgebrawl despite everyone leaving him out). It’s through these interactions that we see that Geoff isn’t the shallow party boy that he seems to be. His brief friendship with Gwen at the end of TDI is the perfect example of how he has the ability to bring out the best in the other campers. Though you could argue that he actually brought out the worst in Bridgette, I think their overly affectionate relationship was the writers’ way of parodying a reality TV power couple or a showmance.

So while Geoff doesn’t necessarily stand out on his own, I was drawn to his character because of his role in TDI and his interactions with the other contestants. While it might seem odd to place so far ahead of some of the others, I just really like Geoff and am proud to have him in a high position in my ranking.

#6. Alejandro - The Arch Villain[]

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I know what you’re going to say: how can you like this guy?! He’s just a villain Stu and god-played the season! I get it. Just hear me out.

Yes, Alejandro was a bit too perfect and he did have an unrealistic amount of power over the eliminations, but I have my reasons why I really like him. When Alejandro and Sierra came onto the scene, the show was recovering from the train wreck that was TDA. Other than the obvious flaws in the season, I think that one of the aspects that made TDA so bad was that it was missing the “reality show” aspect of the “cartoon reality show” that Total Drama is. What made TDI stand out as a cartoon is that it parodied the high school level drama that occurred on hit reality shows, but TDA crossed too far into the cartoonish territory and lost this aspect completely.

I think the writers realized that they’d made a mistake with TDA and wanted to get some of the old essence of the series back. One of the main things that defined the reality show drama of the first season was Heather’s meddling. While most of the other contestants saw the show as summer camp with some eliminations thrown in, Heather was genre savvy and knew how to play the game. In TDA, the writers tried to change it up and cast Justin and Courtney as villains, which we all know was just an epic failure. Whether it was a conscious decision or not, when the writers added Alejandro into the cast for World Tour, they brought back some of what made the drama in the first season so great because they’d established a real villain. While Alejandro two-timing his competition and eliminating them one by one gave him a bit too much power to be believable, it restored the reality show elements to balance out the cartoonish musical season. So even though Alejandro is probably just a character that was created to correct the mistake that was making Justin a “villain” in TDA, his character really appealed to me because he’d brought back a lot of the elements that had made me like the show in the first place.

Also, I really like Alejandro/Heather. After avoiding putting Heather in a relationship in the first two seasons, I never would have expected the show to put her in one with a newcomer in the third season. With the way Total Drama tends to have karma hit its villains, I never in a million years would have expected them to pair her up with another villain. I just liked the competitiveness between them and the fact that the writers were able to find Heather a man without her losing the villainous qualities that make her … well, Heather. Alejandro and Heather becoming an official couple was literally the only good thing that came out of All-Stars. So while he might have more than a few traits in common with the Gary Stu, Alejandro is still one of my favorites.

#5. Owen - The Comic Relief[]

OwenRanking

Owen is a 300 pound fart joke dipped in naked humor, wrapped in a piece of bacon, and sprinkled with a handful of Richard Hatch. If that mental picture wasn’t enough, pretty much what I’m saying is that there is nothing about Owen that should be appealing. Owen is comic relief in its purest form and doesn’t really ever advance the plot of an episode. Considering how many episodes he’s been in, I guess you could say he’s kind of a screen hog.

… With all that said, I actually really like Owen. A lot of people are scandalized that the writers and voice actors all seem to have come to a consensus (based on their interviews) that he is their overall favorite character, but I’m not really surprised. If it wasn’t obvious by some of my favorite jokes in the earlier rankings, I’m into immature humor. Even though it occurred so often, I think I laughed at every fart-based gag that Owen threw out there.

For a while, I kind of agreed that Owen had a little more screen time than necessary. If I had made this ranking before All-Stars, he probably would’ve ranked somewhere in the middle. But like that saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when my brother told me that Owen wasn’t in All-Stars I was really disappointed. I always saw him as the Total Drama mascot, so to not have him there made the season seem rather incomplete.

I mentioned in Alejandro’s ranking that he and Heather brought out the “reality show” aspects in our cartoon reality show, and Owen does exactly the opposite by bringing out the “cartoon.” TDI is the season that was the most grounded in reality, as some aspects of the challenges were over the top but the drama was mainly the kind that you’d see on a real reality show. But in the background of all the relationship drama and Heather vs. Gwen rivalry, we had Owen in his own little world. He always did his own thing but loved every minute of it. In Owen’s world, (which I think is a good name for it since in the camping episode and in “Oh My Izzy” we get to see a crayon-drawn interpretation of what goes on in his head) the show wasn’t a competition – it was a chance to have fun and make friends. And as ridiculous as his character is, I enjoyed having him there to fart all the leaves off of a tree or sleepwalk naked and end up swimming with salmons.

I don’t remember much of TDA so I can’t speak for that season, but I still liked having Owen around in TDWT. I really liked his friendship with Noah, as they finally gave the loveable guy a straight man to make his gags seem even more outrageous. Owen has barely changed from the character that he was in season one, and while a static character isn’t usually a good thing, his brand of humor is just so unique that this actually works for him. So while he annoys a lot of people, I see Owen as a loveable lug, and the show would definitely not be the same without him.

#4. Harold - The Dweeb[]

HaroldRanking

I’m going to preface this entry by saying that I am a huge fan of Napoleon Dynamite. I was even Napoleon Dynamite for Halloween one year. As somebody who was never exactly popular in school, I’ve always had a special place in my heart for characters that just don’t fit in at all, and Napoleon Dynamite and Harold fit this mold perfectly.

Other than Heather, most of the contestants are generally accepting towards the other campers despite the fact that they’d never be caught dead talking to them in a high school setting. Brace-faced Beth was close friends with popular blonde Lindsay, loner Goth Gwen generally got along with everyone, and nobody really cared that Duncan was a scary juvenile delinquent. There was one exception to this attitude, however, and that was resident dweeb Harold. From the moment he mouth-breathed his way onto the dock, he became bully bait. Even though the other contestants overlooked the things that made the other campers outcasts, Harold was just too weird for them, and that’s something that made him stand out to me. He was completely different from the other teens around him but never tried to change his ways, and I liked Harold for every bizarre thing that he did.

One of the things that made Harold such a great character is that he was totally unpredictable. From his beat boxing to his abilities with nunchuks, his mad skills made him full of surprises and just a lot of fun to watch. When he charmed big and loud Leshawna with his poetry, I was shocked but was totally rooting for him. He even managed to throw the biggest curveball into the first season by eliminating major character Courtney out of spite for Duncan. With his collection of strange talents and hobbies, Harold was a character that made every weirdo proud, which is why he is the top ranking male on my list. I really don't think I can find the words to explain his awesomeness any farther, so I'm going to leave his entry short and sweet.

#3. Gwen - The Loner[]

GwenRanking

I know that her popularity seems to have been on a steady decline ever since the love triangle in TDWT, but my love for Gwen has been consistent since season one. Even though there were twenty-one other contestants, Total Drama Island and the first half of Total Drama Action has always been Gwen’s story. She arrived on the show hating every minute of it, but after forming solid relationships began to open up and prove herself to be a true competitor. Surrounded by a crock of stereotypes, Gwen usually played the role of the only sane man on the island, which made her one of the most relatable characters. I already had a lot in common with Gwen, sharing a glass half empty attitude, a passion for art, and some Goth-y tendencies, so she was the perfect choice for TDI’s protagonist in my eyes.

While she wasn’t necessarily genre savvy, Gwen has always seen the show for exactly what it is: a ridiculous elimination game. While most of the contestants dived head first into the insane challenges, Gwen was there to call out Chris for trying to kill them and then put in a solid effort because she knew it’d hurt her team if she didn’t. She and Leshawna both served as foils to Heather’s attempts to control the game, which I think was partly because of a personality clash and partly Gwen’s dislike of reality shows making her instantly hate the contestant who was practically made for the game. The fact that she saw the competition as a joke that could win her some money made her unique from the other contestants and a lot more relatable for me as a viewer.

Another thing that made Gwen stand out is that her interactions always were always thoroughly fleshed out. Her romance with Trent actually developed over the episodes rather than be a random hookup, her friendship with Leshawna became stronger as they dealt with their team’s (and especially Heather’s) actions, and her rivalry with Heather was actually created because of specific incidents rather than just a random hatred. Even in the later seasons, Gwen’s relationships always had a little more thought put into them than others, like her friendship-then-relationship with Duncan or her up-down friendship with Courtney (this is not counting All-Stars, which completely mucked those two interactions up.) So much care was put into Gwen’s storylines over every else’s that it seemed like the writers were literally telling us, “This is your protagonist. You should like her.” And in my case, I was happy to embrace her as the protagonist and loved her through every season.

#2. Heather - The Queen Bee[]

HeatherRanking

If I had made this ranking right when I’d gotten into Total Drama, which would be the end of season one, Heather probably would’ve ranked dead last. I hated her and thought she deserved to have her head shaved.

Then, Total Drama Action came along and my opinion totally changed. I realized that in the first season I hadn’t truly hated Heather … instead, she was a character that I loved to hate. We were supposed to hate her, and when faced with a season with two weak villains, it made me really miss Heather’s devious ways. As I said in a few other rankings, Heather is one of the things that made the first season as good as it was. She was there not only to play the game but to win it. And even though she seemed like she was just the generic villain type, Heather’s schemes in every episode actually made her one of the characters that the viewers got to know the most.

The season that really solidified Heather as my second favorite character is, of course, Total Drama World Tour. In World Tour, the writers changed Heather from a villain to an anti-hero. She hadn’t lost any of her attitude or her drive to win, but she was placed in a completely different role that season that was more of a redemption arc. If Total Drama Island was Gwen’s story, then World Tour was Heather’s.

If somebody told post-TDI me that I would be rooting for Heather to win, I would’ve thought they were a liar. When I told my mother and brother that Heather was on my list of favorite characters during an episode of All-Stars, they thought I was crazy. But over the years I’ve come to really love Heather. Despite all the show’s attempts at creating another villain, she remains the strongest even though she was the first, and then she somehow was transformed into a character that you could really love. The show really would not have been the same without her.

And with all 36 other characters ranked, that means that my number one Total Drama character is …

#1. Lindsay - The Dumb Blonde[]

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Wait, no, that's not right ...

LindsayRanking2

There we go! If I wanted to list all of the reasons that I love Lindsay, I would probably need a whole new blog post to do it. While Total Drama is full of characters, Lindsay has always been the one that appealed to me the most. Even with all of the backstabbing and plotting that went on over the seasons, she has always just been this adorable, innocent girl that never let anything bother her. Even with Heather, Lindsay had her meltdown and got revenge on her with the haircut and then never took it out on her again. She loved everybody and everything and I just think that’s really great.

In every episode that Lindsay is in, she manages to steal at least one scene in the best way possible. From the beginning of the show, Lindsay’s cluelessness has made her shine in scenes like when she thought the confession cam had to do with church or when she peed in the confessional and then tried to hide behind her magazine when she realized the camera was there. She got along with literally everyone, and when the episode was boring or the more serious drama took the stage, her airheaded comments were able to crack me up every time.

Like Owen, Lindsay is a character that has barely changed since she was first introduced, but I think that is something that the writers definitely did right. Even though she’s been competing on this dangerous reality show for years, she still has not lost her bubbly personality. When her team was quickly whittled down to just her and DJ in World Tour, she didn’t let the loss of her friends affect her. Instead, she struck up the world’s most adorable friendship with DJ and rocked the Amazon challenge. Even after so many seasons, she still loved Tyler even if she couldn’t always remember his name. Lindsay has consistently gotten along with everyone that she meets, and that trait is what makes her such a loveable character. Every season that she appears in, I root for Lindsay to win, and though she never makes it to the top, she still manages to shine during her stay in the competition, and whenever something bad happens to her I just want to give her a hug. Heather might think she’s the queen of the competition, but for me that spot goes to Lindsay, my favorite Total Drama character of all time.


Thank you to anybody who stuck through this long blog post! Ranking the characters is a lot harder than I thought even though I knew who would be at the top, but it was a fun experience in the end.

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