There may be some content not for younger kids. However, there is nothing here they wouldn't say on the Total Drama series.
NOTE: This story is pretty short and mediocre compared to my others. Hope that doesn't prevent you from reading, though.
Be sure to read the sequel, Total Drama: Tiki Jungle!
- Amanda (The Snob) Amanda is an extremely attractive girl who, unfortunately, is mean, snobbish and backstabbing on the inside. She's never really liked a boy, and all of her previous "boyfriends" have only been her date once so she wouldn't look bad going to a prom by herself.
- Carson (The Joker) Carson's a wisecracking kid who's super-popular at his school, just because of his joke-telling abilities. Bullies stay away from him, because he can smooth-talk his way out of a fight. He can also attract girls and make friends just by telling a joke. Even if Carson loses, he's sure to make a joke about it.
- Devin (The Jive Turkey) Devin is a shrimpy kid who thinks he's really tough and cool, but is just another normal kid. He wears hats backwards and sags his pants, but never seems to make any friends... or girlfriends. He's really determined to win so he can become more popular... but will he really win? Only time will tell.
- Emilee (The Normal Girl) Emilee is a girl who's nice, pretty and smart. She's also friends with everybody and knows everything about the wide world of... clothing. She's sure she won't win TDS, but if she does, she'll most likely split the money with all of her friends.
- Kurt (The Jock) Kurt is an extremely athletic teen who's in lacrosse, soccer, football, baseball, basketball... and so on. He thinks his ability will get him farther in the game, and that he'll "win some chicks" along the way. But sadly, he likes to brag and doesn't get along well with lazy people.
- Veronica (The Follower) Veronica is a good student in school and likes to play the violin, but is also cocky and naive. She'll be friends with anyone, especially people who bribe her and say they'll make her "more popular." Hmmm... She agrees with anything her friends say, and is never given a chance to speak for herself.
- Alex (The Lazy Bum) Alex is a lazy, whiny kid who never does any work, and spends most of his free time sitting on the couch at home, playing video games. His record for how many steps he's taken in a single day is 100. He's bad at Gym, but might need to learn some sports in order to advance in the competition...
- Gary (The Internerd) Gary is a teeny, scrawny, nerdy kid who knows every single Internet meme created, and is registered in almost every MMORPG online. Unfortunately, he's not very athletic and doesn't know how to act around girls. He wants to win really badly. He doesn't know why, he just wants to win.
- Helga (The Reader) Helga is a nice and sweet girl who's not very popular at her school, but doesn't care because the only thing she really cares about in the world is a really good book. She's read every book in her school library and camps out in front of the bookstore every time there's a new book in her favorite series.
- Meg (The Jockette) Meg is a teen who loves to run. She's better at sports than everyone else in her school, and doesn't brag about it. That's why Meg is friends with almost everyone in her school. Except for Amanda. Their conflict started in 1st grade when Amanda stepped on Meg's toe. When Meg learned Amanda was also in the competition, she was furious. But she knows she'll still win.
- Ricky (The Slob) Ricky is a kid who dropped out of high school, and now doesn't really have a life. His daily routine is just sitting on the couch, eating chips and watching wrestling. He doesn't really care about personal hygiene, yet wonders why people tend to stay away from him.
- Sharissa (The Psycho) The counselors at her school usually describe Sharissa as "disturbed." She doesn't care. Sharissa laughs at the wrong times, is obsessed with heavy metal music, and is unpredictable. Like the time she mysteriously "disappeared" for a week. When she wins, she'll feed the money to her bulldog and laugh like a maniac.
Chapter 1- "New School, New Drama"
A young man comes out of a school bus and introduces himself. "Hi, I'm Chris McLean, and I'm the host of Total Drama School, where 12 'lucky' contestants will try to survive in a crazy high school taught by me and Chef Hatchet!" A large man with a chef hat steps out and laughs evilly. Chris then says, "The winner will get a special prize of... 1 million dollars! Hopefully, it won't get destroyed this time. Oh, here's the unlucky 12 now!"
A yellow school bus driven by an intern pulls up and parks next to Chris and Chef. Chris says, "Here's our first contestant... Carson!"
A skinny but athletic-looking boy with dirty blond hair and a green shirt walks up to Chris. Carson says, "Hey dude! This school looks tight! Any hotties here?"
Chris says, "Well, you might get a kick outta this-- here comes Amanda!"
A very pretty girl with a meanish look in her eyes steps out of the bus. "Heyyy, I'm Amanda, this place sucks, where's the showers?"
Carson puts her arm around her and says, "Hey ba-BY, lookin' sorta hot tonight."
Amanda, with a bored expression, says, "One, get your hand off of me. Two, it's only noon." and storms off.
Chris says, "Here's... Ricky." and runs away.
Ricky comes out of the bus eating a bag of potato chips. "Yo, Chris." he says. "What's up, dude?" Amanda plugs her nose from the stench wafting around and Carson faints.
Chris then says, "Ok. Enough Ricky. Here's our next competitor, Helga." Nobody comes out. "Umm, Helga! That was your cue!" shouts Chris.
A heavyset girl with curly blond hair and glasses comes out reading "The Thirsty Games." She says, "Hi. My name's Helga and I like to re--" but trips over the unconscious Carson.
The next to arrive is Meg, an extremely athletic and attractive girl. In between breaths, she says, "Hey. I'm Meg. Whoops, gotta go!" and begins doing push-ups.
After Meg comes Kurt, who's also very athletic. He says to Chris, "Hey, who's the babe doing exercises?" Chris says, "You'll never get her. Just go talk with Ricky or something."
A shrimpy kid wearing his hat backwards and sunglasses is the next to arrive. He says, "Yo, yo, yo! I'm Devin, peeps! Heyyy, ladies, check it! I'm saggin!" He lifts up his shirt and reveals he is wearing very baggy pants. They fall down the second he walks past Amanda and Meg.
A girl wearing skinny-jeans and a plaid shirt comes out. "Hi, I'm Emilee." She says to Helga, "I like your shirt. What book is that?" and before Helga can answer, a kid who makes Devin look tall comes out of the bus.
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?" he says to himself. Chris says with a bored expression, "That's Gary. He likes Internet memes."
Gary whispers to Chris, "Hey! You didn't say the answer! What does the scouter--" and Chris calmly says, "Over 9000. Now GET LOST!"
Suddenly, a muffled "Let GO of me!" is heard from the bus. An extremely tall girl with purple hair and lots of black makeup around her eyes carrying a large, heavy garbage bag sprints out. "Hiii, guyyys! I'm Sharissa!" says the girl, then starts dancing. Chris says, "Um... what's in the bag?" and the girl pulls out a boy with Justin Bieber-style hair.
The boy, who is hyperventilating, screams, "Why did she have to fart before closing the bag? And why must the only girls who like me be insane?"
Chris says, "Um... Alex? You can get up now." but he won't budge. Sharissa says, "He doesn't like to move. Get up, ya lazy sack!" and she kicks Alex, who begins to jump around like a drunken monkey.
The final person to come out is a tall, red-haired girl carrying a violin and a large suitcase. She says, "Hey, I'm Veronica. Who's the weird gothy crazy girl?"
Chris says, "That's Sharissa. Now everybody, follow me. I'm going to give you a tour around the school."
While walking past the Main Lobby, where people will be eliminated, the Cafeteria, and the dorms, Veronica says to Amanda, "Hi. I'm Veronica. Want to be friends?" and Amanda says, "Suuure. We'll be like BFFs." in a sarcastic tone. Chris tells everyone that the dorms are co-ed, which Meg responds to by looking at Ricky and barfing.
Chris then says, "I'm going to read off the teams.
Emilee, Amanda, Veronica, Carson, Devin and Kurt will be the Screaming Rulers."
Emilee cheers and jumps in the air. "The Screaming Rulers ROCK!" she says.
Chris then says, "Meg, Sharissa, Helga, Ricky, Gary and Alex will be the Killer Apples."
Sharissa screams, "WAHOOOO!" and picks up Alex and swings him around.
In the Rulers' dorm, Amanda is talking to Veronica. "Did Chris say there was someone named Meg on the Killer Apples team?"
Confessional (Amanda): Meg and I are pure enemies. It all started when I accidentally stepped on her toe in the first grade. FIRST GRADE! I was 6! Can't she get over it?!?
Confessional (Meg): Amanda? She's here? AMANDA!?!?! She's my rival! She stepped on my toe on PURPOSE! But, at least we're on different teams. But Ricky? (barfs)
Chris then says, "And there you have it. There's already a rivalry brewing. What subject will be 'taught' tomorrow? And who's going to be the first to get eliminated? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 2- "Science is... weird, boring, the list could go on..."
In the Killer Apples' dorm, Ricky is snoring loudly, which wakes up Meg, who says, "Ugh! Why can't a girl get any sleep around here?" and tries to go back to sleep. But her effort is thwarted by Chris, who's screaming at the top of his lungs, telling the cast to go to the Science Room.
Confessional (Carson): I mean, this place is fun, but getting up that early? Dude? (falls asleep)
In the Science Room, Chris explains the challenge, which is to make a working potion that can do something to someone. The two teams go to opposite sides of the room, and the Rulers pick Amanda to make the potion. (Actually, she picks herself)
Confessional (Veronica): Amanda is my friend, but she's kinda bossy and like, our team dictator. I wish I could be the leader!
Amanda says to Veronica, "Veronica, give me some of your hair." and Veronica says, "Eww, no!"
An angry Amanda says through gritted teeth, "NOW." but Veronica refuses. Amanda has to go to her last resort. "Carson!" she says. "Can I have some of your hairs? It'll be something to remember you by after I vote you--I mean, you get eliminated." Carson says, "Okayyy..."
Amanda puts Carson's hair into the potion.
Confessional (Devin): We're so the superior team, yo. Watch me win the whole thing. Word!
Meanwhile, the Apples are having a hard time. Ricky is lying on the table and won't budge. Gary says, "Dude, you know you have to get off! We've got to do this CHALLENGE! Your stupidity level is over 9000!" and Meg responds by saying, "Gary, you can't recycle that same joke over and over. Try to think of some new ones."
Confessional (Gary): Over... 8000?
Once the Apples push Ricky off, he demands to make the potion. All he does is put some of his chips into juice.
Chris then says on his loudspeaker, "OK, TIME TO TEST YOUR POTIONS. NOW."
Amanda says, "Ta-da. It's my potion." She feeds it to Veronica, who instantly falls asleep. Then, Ricky says, "Da-ta. My potion." He feeds it to Alex, who stares into space for a minute.
"C'mon Alex, what's it like?!?" screams Sharissa.
Alex opens his mouth, screams, and starts rolling around on the floor.
Chris says, "The rulers win this part of the---wha---wha---RUN FOR IT!"
The remains of Ricky's potion are fizzling and seem like they're about to blow up. Everyone evacuates the Science Room, and about 20 seconds later, the whole room explodes.
Outside, Chris says, "Okay, after that... interesting first challenge, we're going to build Science-karts!"
Confessional (Alex): Really? Science Karts? Man, these producers are runnin' out of ideas.
The Apples pick Sharissa to build and the Rulers pick Kurt.
Kurt says, "No problemo, dudes. I'm a kart racing PRO!" and looks at Meg with a sly grin. He starts hammering wood together, and says to Meg, "Like this? I can hammer wood!" but soon he gets a splinter and starts crying.
Sharissa is hammering madly. "Aaaaaagh! My science kart is gonna RAWK!"
The race is about to start. Sharissa says to Meg, "Meggie, please get in my kart. IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND!" Meg, against her will, nervously steps in.
Confessional (Sharissa): Sure, my kart was a little... dangerous, but Meg will be fine.
Meg and Emilee (who's racing for the Rulers in Kurt's amazing machine) line up. Chris shoots the gun, and they're off.
Emilee is way ahead, and says to Meg, "Ha ha! Who's amazing now?" Meg doesn't reply, because Sharissa's kart is so rickety and dangerous that Meg is bouncing up and down, screaming, "WoOoOoooOoOoOOOoooOooaaaaaAaaAaaGggggGhhHhh!"
Emilee looks, and says, "Oh no! She's gaining!" Meg is hurtling towards the finish line, and passes Emilee by an inch. The Apples win that challenge.
Helga looks up from her book (Mockingbird) and says, "Is there going to be a tie-breaker?" and Chris says, "Yes. Helga and Carson, come up here. Now, it's time for rock, paper, scissors!"
Confessional (Amanda): How does rock, paper, scissors have anything to do with science?
Carson picks rock, Helga picks rock.
Carson picks paper, Helga picks paper.
Carson picks scissors, Helga picks scissors.
Carson picks scissors again, Helga picks "gun", which is cheating.
Carson picks rock, Helga picks "gun" again.
Confessional (Alex): The "gun" thing makes no sense. Guns can't shoot holes in rocks.
Carson picks rock again, Helga picks rock.
Carson picks rock AGAIN, and Helga picks scissors! Carson won, so that meant that the Rulers won. The Rulers cheer and the Apples mope to the Main Lobby.
In the dorms, Meg is telling Helga and Sharissa to vote off Alex, because he didn't do anything, but Sharissa says, "No, no, no. Alex is more helpful than he seems. How 'bout Gary? He's annoying."
Helga says, "He could be helpful!" Meg says, "Then who can we eliminate?"
At the Main Lobby, Chris explains, "The A+ paper is a symbol of immunity. If you get an A+ paper, you're safe for the night. If you do not--"
Meg says, "You must go to the Hallway of Shame, exit the school, and board the School Bus of Losers. You told us this last night."
Chris says, "Nice job remembering. And Meg, that's why you get the first ever A+!"
Confessional (Meg): Wow! My first day, and already I'm safe from elimination!
Confessional (Ricky): Eh... A+, huh? I'm set.
Confessional (Helga): I get A+'s all the time in school. I'm going to get one here, too.
Confessional (Gary): Over 8000? Doesn't sound as good. Darn. What else can I think of?
Chris says, "Meg, yep. You're safe from elimination. You can stay here or go to bed."
Meg says in a relaxed voice, "Naah, I like the drama. I'll stay." and sits back in her desk/chair.
Chris says, "Helga and Alex. You're safe too." Helga and Alex come up and grab A+'s, Helga squealing and Alex just shrugging. Chris says, "Guess who else is safe?"
Sharissa says, "Nobody? Because those posters on the wall are actually cameras that evil squirrels use to track our every move?" Chris replies, "Sharissa, you have a twisted mind. But you're still safe." Chris tosses her an envelope with an A+ on it. "Alas, the final two." Chris says. "Gary, you're not funny. And Ricky, you're not... clean. Or cool. Or fun.Or..."
"JUST GIVE WHOEVER THEIR DARN A+!!!" screams Sharissa at the top of her lungs.
"Ssshhhh." says Chris. "I like the drama! Anyway, the final A+ of the night goes to..."
"Gary. You're safe."
Gary says, "Yes! You guys made the right choice! Your awesomeness level is over 9--"
Meg says with a smile, "Save it for next week, cause we're gonna win next time!"
Chris says solemnly, "Ricky. Time to board the School Bus of Losers."
Ricky gets up and says, "Why me? You guys aren't cool. What's so good about Little Nerd Jr. over there?" Gary smiles.
Meg says, "He's not a nerd! Anyway, sorry dude. You were just too gross. Now board the Bus already! Your stench is..." Ricky yells, "Goodbye, Total Drama School! You're all a buncha fools! And tools! And--"
Chef throws him onto the School Bus of Losers, which drives off. From the inside, you can hear cursing.
Later, in the dorm, Meg says, "OK guys. Today wasn't our... greatest day, but watch us. We'll become the superior team on Total Drama School. Now, goodnight guys."
Everyone responds, "Goodnight, Meg." and Gary, pretending to be asleep, just smiles.
Chapter 3- "Terror in the Gym"
The Screaming Rulers, half-asleep, get piled into a golf cart by Chef, and are driven to the Gym. Chef says, "Okay, students. Time for Gym class."
Confessional (Veronica): Um, yeah. I've seen the episode from TDI about boot camp. Chef hosting Gym class? Uh-oh.
"Where are the Apples?" asks Chris, who's right next to Chef wearing a mouthguard and protective mask.
"Oh, whoops. I forgot them." Chef runs to the dorm, picks up the Apples, and comes back. Meg wakes up, and says, "Why am I getting carried by a large man along with my teammates?"
Chef screams, "BECAUSE, it's time for the challenge! Now before you start, run 3 laps around the school. GO!"
Everyone sprints out the back door except for Alex, who's walking. Sharissa quickly notices him, and says, "OK, you little bum. I'll let you use my uPod if you get a move on."
Alex says with no emotion, "OK, uPods are sorta nifty. Hand it over here." and starts jogging.
Amanda and Veronica are on their second lap, and Amanda says, "You know what? I want all of the Killer Apples gone. I'll even take you to the final 2 with me. Now, all you have to do is be a little more like me."
"Whatever you say, BFF!" says Veronica. "Now, what am I supposed to do?"
"Go tell Gary that I like his shirt." says Amanda. "Even though I don't. I don't even get it. It's sorta weird."
"Well then why do you want me to lie to Gary?" says Veronica worriedly. "Because, it's called flirting. Now do it. NOW!" screeches Amanda.
"Um, Gary?" says Veronica. "What-dee-doo?" says Gary. Veronica says, "Um... Amanda says that she li--lik--likes your sh--shi--shirt." "OK. That's cool, I guess." says Gary, and he starts sprinting ahead.
After everyone is done, Chef Hatchet explains the first part of the challenge. "Our first challenge is Dodgeball, just like the good ol' TDI days."
Confessional (Helga): I never play dodgeball at my high school. I just sit on the bleachers and read. OK, Coach hates that, but I've had a bad experience with the sport.
The game starts, and Kurt throws balls rapid-fire at the Killer Apples. The Apples are looking pathetic, but Meg manages to get them excited by saying, "OK guys, remember last night? THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN! Now Helga! Start playing! Alex! Get up! Gary! Keep playing! And Sharissa..."
Sharissa is dancing around like a rabid monkey, throwing many balls but missing.
"...No comment." groans Meg. She looks at Kurt, who is now the only Ruler left on the field thanks to Sharissa, gives him an evil stare, and throws 3 balls at him. They hit him in the kiwis, and Kurt keels over.
"The Apples win!" yells Chef. "Hey Chef?" says Devin. "Um, I made a rap. Wanna hear it?"
"Whatever, scrawny kid." mutters Chef.
"Yo, yo, yo! Devin's my name! Beating peeps at Dodgeball is my game! Word." raps Devin, and everyone stares at him. The second round of the game is about to start. Chef shoots the gun and it starts.
Meg throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming. "Helga!" she says. "Get off the stupid bleachers, put down the book, and PLAY!" Helga, obviously a little bit intimidated, walks into the playing field. As soon as she enters the field, Devin throws a ball at Helga, and it hits her, giving her a black eye.
Confessional (Gary): I think Meg was sorta mean to Helga, but I still think Meg is ho--I mean, nice. Fun to be around. A good... teammate. (blushes)
"Oh yeah, foo'!" gloats Devin. "I'm the greatest dodgeball player ever!" He dances and shakes his butt, but his pants fall down, causing everyone to laugh at him.
The next part of the challenge is a relay race.
Confessional (Amanda): Wow, this competition is too easy. I can just keep playing Carson, and he'll still think I really like him. And then there's Veronica. She's like a puppet. So easy to control. Chris, if you hear this, can you make this game a little harder?
"OK, Apples. You know I'm the fastest on our team, right?" says Meg.
"Not going to disagree with that." says Alex. "Well, then... I'll run, so will Sharissa, and..." says Meg. "...Helga."
Helga looks up from her book looking very surprised. "You'll be fine!" says Meg.
On the other side of the gym, the Rulers pick Amanda, Kurt and Emilee.
"Watch me eat those Apples like there's worms in them!" says Kurt.
Everyone stares at him. The race then starts! Amanda and Meg are running side-by-side. Meg manages to pull ahead of Amanda, who trips her. Meg falls face-first on the ground.
"Oooh." groans Gary. "That musta hurt."
Meg doesn't seem to be hurt at all. She sprints past Amanda, runs back, and touches Sharissa, who screams and begins to run. Amanda comes back about 5 seconds later, and tags Emilee. "YAAAAA!" screams Sharissa. Emilee isn't even close to her. Sharissa sprints back, and touches Helga, who's supposed to run.
"Helga." Helga is looking at her book, oblivious to everything going on. "Helga." says Sharissa. "OK, that's it. AAAAAUGH!!!" Sharissa picks up Helga, and chucks her. Helga hurtles towards the cone, touching it and winning for the Apples.
"Yes!" says Meg. "We win! We win!" Sharissa runs back, giving Meg a high-5. "Nice going, Meggie." says Sharissa.
"Aw, come on!" says Devin. "Why did we lose, homes? I tried perfect. It's that stupid Kurt who can't even throw balls well enough, OR run faster than Helga." The Rulers glare at Devin.
In the Rulers' dorm, Amanda is on a bed with Carson and Veronica. "OK," says Amanda. "Who do you guys want to vote out?"
Carson says, "How 'bout Kurt?"
"OK, Carson." says Amanda. "Kurt it is." Veronica says, "OK, you guys are picking Kurt? Then I'm going to pick Kurt as well. We're like voting buddies!"
At the Main Lobby, Chris says, "If you get an A+, that means excellent effort for the night. You're safe. If you do not, you must walk the Hallway of Shame, exit the school, and board the School Bus of Losers. And you can't come back. EVER. Now go, you stupid Rulers. Cast your votes."
Confessional (Amanda): I told Carson I was going to vote Kurt. Little did he know, I'm actually going to dispose of HIM tonight.
Confessional (Veronica): I'm going to vote Kurt, just like my BFF Amanda. She's like the coolest person at the school.
Confessional (Carson): Don't I have the best ideas of who to vote off?
Confessional (Kurt): Well, today was awesome! I sure hope they don't vote me off.
Chris says, "The first A+ of the night goes to... Amanda." Amanda grins evilly, stands up, grabs her A+, and sits back in her recliner chair.
"Emilee." says Chris. Emilee squeals, jumps into the air, and grabs her A+. "Also safe..." says Chris. "...Veronica." Veronica says, "Hey, Amanda! Look! I'm safe too!" Amanda sighs.
"Carson, c'mon up." says Chris. Carson says, "Yesss!" and grabs his paper.
"Boys, this is the final A+ of the night." Kurt and Devin don't look very happy. "Devin, we all know you're not a gangsta." says Chris. Devin says, "Word?" "And Kurt, for some reason, people just don't like you. So the final A+ goes to..."
"What?" says Carson. "I know for a FACT that three of us voted for Kurt."
Amanda says, "Wait, oops! I must have colored in the wrong check box. Sorry Devin."
Devin says, "...Why, peeps? Why me? I'm your HOMIE!" Chris says, "Just get on the bus, shrimp."
"Shrimp? SHRIMP?" screeches Devin. "Yo, you idjits are in for a serious comeback, word. I'm not done, yo. I'm not done!" A paper airplane hits him in the head. "Ow! I'm not done! I'll come back!" Chef drags Devin into the School Bus of Losers.
In the dorm, Carson glares at Kurt. "Next chance we have, I am SO voting you off."
Kurt just shrugs.
Confessional (Meg): Okay, that first day was rough. But I swear out winning streak will continue!
Confessional (Amanda): (putting on lipstick) Oh. So it was Little Gangsta who got voted out instead of Kurt. Excellent. Hehehehe.
Chapter 4- "Español no es muy divertido!"
In the Rulers' dorm, Carson is having a dream about flying burritos. "OW!" He wakes up and bumps his head because a strange horn is blowing outside. It sounds like it's coming from the amphitheater.
Confessional (Carson): (half-asleep) Ummm... whaaat was that dreeeeam about? Was it... an omen? (faints)
Chris is dressed in a very strange poncho and sombrero, saying "Hola chicos! Bienvenido al español de hoy-desafío tema!"
"Um... what?" says Meg. Chris says, "It's Spanish. Welcome to today's Spanish-themed challenge." "Will we be learning any Spanish?" says Alex in a concerned tone. "¡No!" says Chris.
Confessional (Alex): (sighs) This Chris guy is a pain in the butt.
"So, for today's challenge, we're first going to eat some authentic Mexican food!" says Chris. "Each team will pick a representative to eat as many burritos as they can. If you puke, pass out, or give up, you're out! The other team wins. If you finish your plate first, you also win! Now, teams, pick your players!"
For the Rulers, Amanda doesn't seem to be in a good mood. "OK, guys. As you all know, I'm the leader of this team."
Most of her team is looking at her angrily. "Um, guys, it's true. She even said." says Veronica. "Thank you, Ronnie." says Amanda. "Now, who's going to eat those... nasty burritos?"
Kurt says, "LET ME DO IT, GUYS! I'm so beast at this stuff!" Nobody cares, because of all of the idiotic things he did in the previous challenges.
Carson says, still half asleep, "I had this weeeeird dream about flying burriiiiiiitos. Aren't that what we will eating?" He grins and passes out. Emilee says, "OK guys, I guess Carson'll do it."
Meg wants to do it for the Apples. "I'm you guys' good luck charm. I won the past two challenges for you guys, remember?" says Meg.
Gary says, "OK. Let Meg, guys. She's right. Uh-huh. Her awesomeness level is--" He sees the rest of his team glaring at him. "--Very high." finishes Gary.
Chris says, "OK, Carson and Meg, are you guys--?" Carson is wolfing down burritos. "Um, dude?" says Chris. "The challenge hasn't even started."
Carson looks at Chris with a toothy grin, puts his thumbs up, and faints.
Confessional (Amanda): I just can't wait until the merge.
Meg screams, "Yes! Carson fainted! I win!" She starts dancing.
Chris says, "Um... sorry Meg. I never said the challenge even started. So Carson can get back up and I'll give him a fresh plate of burritos." Meg screams, "What!?!?"
Confessional (Meg): WHAT?!?
Chris then blows the horn and says, "Vaya, vaya, vaya! That means go, go, GO!" Carson gets back up and starts eating more burritos. Meg, on the other hand, is slowly putting burritos into her mouth.
"GO, MEGGIEEEE!" squeals Sharissa.
Carson finishes his plate! "Yeeesss!" says the groggy Carson, still half-asleep.
Meg pouts and goes back to her team. "What happened, Meg?" says Helga. "I thought you were my good-luck charm!"
"You just watch." says Meg. "I'll win the next challenge."
In a grassy arena outside the school by the playground, Chris is shouting in more Spanish. "Bueno chicos, el siguiente reto es el toreo tradicional española!" says Chris. Still, nobody knows what he's saying. Emilee then steps up, saying, "I can translate, guys. He's saying that the next challenge will be traditional Spanish bullfighting."
"Thank you, Emilee." says Chris. "Kurt, you'll ride for the Rulers, and Sharissa will ride for the Apples."
Sharissa grins. "Uh-oh." says Alex.
Amanda says in a worried tone, "Um... isn't this a little... dangerous?"
"That's right, Amanda!" says Chris. "So, instead of the bulls fighting each other, they'll be trying to knock over the other team's clown!"
Gary says, "So, are the clowns going to be like dummies or something?"
Confessional (Helga): They better be. I'm getting a little scared of Chris.
"Nope!" says Chris. "Amanda, you're going to be the Rulers' clown. And Gary for the Apples." He hands Amanda and Gary clown suits.
Sharissa gets onto her bull. "I won't let you down, Apples!" she says. Kurt is also happy. "Extreeeme!" says Kurt. "I'll take this to the MAX, guys!"
Chris, with his Spanish horn, says "Ready, set, GO!"
Amanda is worried. "Chris, can I please have a different costume? Mine's all itchy." Chris throws her a bed sheet. Amanda puts it on, not knowing it's red.
Sharissa's bull growls. "Uh oh, Brutus." says Sharissa. "Don't go crazy on me." Brutus the bull charges at Amanda. She screams and runs away.
Meanwhile, Kurt's bull and Gary are having a stare-down. Gary says, "Prepare to have your bull stretched out just like Longcat!" Kurt laughs. He accidentally makes the bull sneeze. The sneeze's blast is so big, it knocks down Gary!
"The Rulers win! The Rulers win!" shouts Chris. Kurt yells, "Yesss!" and gets off his bull. "Meg, I did good, right?" says Kurt. "Um... no. You didn't do anything. The bull just sneezed." says Meg, unimpressed.
Amanda, who stopped running, goes back to her team. "Phew." says Amanda. "That was so scary, guys!"
"You're sweating, Manda!" says Veronica. Amanda is repulsed by sweat. "Eeeew! Sweat??" she squeals.
Sharissa and Brutus the bull are still charging all over. "SHARISSA!" says Chris. "THE CHALLENGE IS OVER!"
"Whaaaaat?" screams Sharissa. Her bull goes into a rage. It headbutts Chef, who was just standing there, knocks into Chris, runs over Gary, then starts violently rampaging all over the school. Sharissa then falls off.
"Um, sorry guys. Heh heh heh." says Sharissa.
In the Apples' dorm, the Apples have to vote someone off... again.
Meg says, "OK girls. Who to vote off, who to vote off." Helga peeks up from her book and says, "How 'bout Alex?" Nobody really agrees, but on the boys' side, Gary and Alex have a plan.
"We need to vote off Sharissa." says Gary. "She almost got me killed!" Alex isn't so sure.
At the Main Lobby, Chris explains the elimination procedure.
Confessional (Gary): I need to vote off Sharissa. Man, I want to live to see at least my 20's!
Confessional (Alex): Yeah, Gary wants to vote off Sharissa, but I don't know. Wait. I DON'T LIKE HER!
Confessional (Meg): Who to vote off?
Confessional (Helga): (reading) This book is so good!
Chris says, "The first A+ goes to... Alex."
"Woo-hoo. Nifty." says Alex. He opens his A+ envelope, and in there is candy. "Oh! Sweet! Candy!" he says and starts eating.
"Meg." says Chris. "I sort of expected that." says Meg, and grabs her A+ calmly.
"Helga." Helga stands up and grabs her A+.
"People, this is the last A+." says Chris. Gary and Sharissa stare at each other. "Gary... for some reason, every time, you rack up some votes. Maybe it's your 'Over 9000' repetition. Or maybe it's the fact that a sneeze knocked you over. And Sharissa... Do I even have to explain?"
Sharissa smiles. "The final A+ goes to..." says Chris.
"...Gary." says Chris.
Gary smiles, and comes up to grab his reward for the night.
Sharissa is sort of shocked. "Guys? Meggie? Alex?" she says.
Chris says, "Wasn't that much of a shocker. You were almost disqualified."
Sharissa stands up. "OK guys, it's been fun." she says. "And I guarantee, this isn't the last you'll see of me." She then vanishes into a puff of smoke. Everybody gasps.
In the dorm, Gary is trying to make a mini-alliance with Alex. "C'mon, Alex." says Gary. "You and I will be boy-buddies." Alex says, "Fine. But if something else happens, you know, with Sharissa, I'm out of it."
Gary says, "Awesome. Now gimme some of that candy, and I'll try and bribe Meg."
Confessional (Gary): (mouth full) Oogh! Oh, man! That candy really is good!
Confessional (Alex): I wonder what Sharissa meant when she said that it wasn't the last of her.
Confessional (Meg): Gary tried to make an alliance with me. How is it an alliance when it's almost the whole team?
Chris says, "That was fun! Which psycho will be eliminated tomorrow? What rejected school subjects will be taught next? What dangerous animals will be brought in next? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 5- "The Tell-Tale Art"
In the Apples' dorm, Gary is playing his SDi. "Um, Gary?" says Meg in a groggy voice. "Can you turn the volume down on that thing?"
Gary sighs, and turns the volume down. "Yo, Alex." he whispers. "You OK?" Alex is still fully asleep.
"Alex?" says Gary. Alex wakes up, and screams, "Yessssssss!" Everyone stares.
Confessional (Alex): Is this a dream? I thought this was bad last night, but now Sharissa's gone! Finally!
Chris yells on the loudspeaker, "Attention all Total Drama School contestants, report to the Art Room immediately."
Confessional (Helga): Really? Really, Chris? REALLY?
In the Art Room, Chris has on a painter's smock and a beret. "Hello, fellow art-loving friends."
Confessional (Alex): Yippee. Art. More physical labor.
Chris says, "Today, your challenge is art-themed. You must first build a statue of... yours truly. Any kind of statue is fine, it just has to somehow resemble me. Next, after you finish and get judged by Chef and me, I'll explain the next challenge."
Amanda says to the Rulers, "You know, guys, I don't even have to explain. Rulers, you guys make something good."
Emilee shouts, "Oh, no, no, no way! I hate Art! Amanda, please, can I be the boss?"
Confessional (Amanda): What does that little idiot mean? I'm always the Rulers' boss.
Meanwhile, the Apples seem to be doing well. Meg says, "Apples, we're down by 1 player, but we will still rise to the top! Ok, Gary, what do you want to do?"
Gary says, "Um... build a statue of Vegeta with Chris' head." Helga mutters, "Who the heck is Vegeta?"
Gary screams, "How can you NOT know who VEGETA is?!? He's the guy who says 'Over 9000'!!!" Alex says in a rushed voice, "Um, sorry Gary, no way, we're not doing Vegeta, nope-dee-doo. No."
Confessional (Meg): I really like my team. Unfortunately, there's only 4 of us. But thankfully, they're all awesome!
Emilee picks up a loudspeaker. "Okay, you stupid team. Kurt, grab me the paint from the corner. Veronica, get the paintbrush. Carson, grab the clay. Amanda, get the--"
"Whoa there." says Amanda. "Sorry Emi-loser, but I'll get whatever I want. I'm the boss for this challenge. Emilee, get some water from the sink, NOW."
Emilee begins to fake-cry. "But... if I get the water... it might... get my hands WET!"
Carson isn't impressed. "Seriously?" he says. On the other side, Meg says loudly, "We finished!"Chris looks over, and the statue is a blue pole with Chris' head stuck to it, and green lettering saying "Over 9000!"
Chris says, "How did you guys let Gary do his idea?"
Meg says, "Um... he just convinced us. It took a while, but he sure convinced us."
Alex, who's climbing on the statue, says in a sarcastic tone, "Yeah. He convinced us REAL well."
Chris yells, "Well, that means the Apples win this part of the challenge. The next part is in the Gym. Meet me there in 10. See ya!"
Confessional (Gary): I'm like the leader for the Killer Apples. Who made the Chris statue? Who always gets the last A+? Who voted off Miss Crazy? Moi!
While walking to the Gym, Amanda is lecturing the Rulers. "You guys really need to try harder." she says, and glances at Emilee.
"What?" says Emilee. Amanda grumbles and keeps walking.
At the Gym, a boxing ring is set up. "Today, your second part of the challenge is a mixture of everyone's favorite pastime and everyone's favorite sport... iiiiit's... Art Boxing!"
Chef comes out in boxing gloves. "I don't get paid enough." he mutters. Chris shrieks, "Chef will be demonstrating against this intern!" A nervous intern walks into the ring.
Chris explains, "First, dip your boxing gloves into paint. Then, take them out, and punch your opponent! It hurts, AND you get really messy! The first person to knock out their opponent or completely cover them in paint wins!"
Chef dips his glove into paint and punches the intern so hard it sends him flying. The intern crashes into the bleachers. Chef starts whistling.
Chris says, "OK, that intern might have to report to the school nurse. Well, anyway, who wants to volunteer to be a lucky art boxer?"
Amanda says evilly, "Emilee does." Emilee shrieks, "Wait! No!" but Chris grabs her and pulls her into the ring.
Gary decides to volunteer for the Killer Apples. "I don't know, I just want to do it, y'know." he says and walks into the ring.
Alex whispers to Meg and Helga, "Yeah, he definitely wants to do it. He just wants to wrestle with a girl." Helga says, "Dude, it's not even wrestling."
Chris yells, "Ready, Set... GOOO!"
Gary screams, "Aaaaarg!" and dips his hands into paint. He charges at Emilee and starts throwing punches at her. Emilee screams like a little girl. "Eww! Covered in paint!" she says.
Kurt shouts, "Emilee! C'mon, don't be a wimp! Fight back!"
Emilee is extremely grossed out. She keeps screaming and starts running around the boxing ring. Gary sprints towards her and keeps throwing punches.
Emilee says, "Eww... gross..." and falls over. Gary wins for the Apples!
Gary runs over to his team and gives them high-5s. "Great job, Gary." says Meg.
Confessional (Carson): That Emilee chick is such an idiot. I think I know who's going home tonight.
Confessional (Alex): Yes! We won! Maybe Sharissa was, like, a curse or something. But I'm glad she's gone!
Chris says, "Apples, your reward for the night is a pizza party in your dorm! And, no, it's not Chef's homemade pizza."
The Killer Apples cheer. "Finally!" says Meg.
Chris then says solemnly, "Rulers, you guys need to vote someone off."
In the Rulers' dorm, Carson is talking with Kurt. "Okay, I know I said I would vote you off the next chance I had." says Carson. "But we're the only guys left. Now who should we vote off?"
Kurt twiddles his thumbs. "I don't know." he says. "Maybe Emilee. Nobody even likes her that much."
Carson replies, "Yeah, that's kinda who I was thinking. So Emilee it is?" Kurt replies, "Yep. Emilee."
Amanda is talking with Veronica and Emilee, the other girls left on the team. Amanda says, "How 'bout if you 2 vote for Carson, then I'll get Carson to vote for Kurt, and I'll vote him too. So that way, it'll be a tiebreaker, and one of those stupid guys will be voted off. Sound good?" The other two girls nod. Emilee says, "Amanda, I'm glad you're sorta my friend!" Amanda grins and says, "Sure thing."
Confessional (Carson): Emilee's going down. I wonder why Amanda asked me to vote for Kurt?
Confessional (Veronica): Hmm...
Confessional (Amanda): I love being the antagonist.
At the Main Lobby, Chris states, "OK, friends. Another elimination for the Rulers. Whoever--"
Amanda says, obviously peeved, "We know, we know."
Chris says, "The first A+ goes to... Amanda."
Amanda grins and crunches up her A+ paper.
"Okayyy," says Chris. "Next up is Veronica," Veronica comes up and smiles at Amanda, "Kurt," Kurt comes up and says, "Yes!" but then looks at Carson, who could be eliminated. "Oh no."
Carson and Emilee look quite nervous. Carson is crossing his fingers, and Emilee is sweating and about to cry."The last A+ goes to..."
"Carson." Chris says.
Carson says, "Yesss! Oh, sorry Emilee... I guess." Emilee, without saying a word, stands up and boards the School Bus of Losers. She points to Amanda and makes an evil face. Amanda says, "That girl is cuckoo."
Chris says, "How was that dramatic? Well, anyway, tune in next time on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Carson says, "Thanks, guys." and the episode ends.
Chapter 6- "Food Fright"
In the Apples' dorm, they are having a pizza party. Meg says, "Whoo-hoo! Another night safe from elimination!" She quickly notices Gary, who's sound asleep with a slice of pizza hanging out of his Longcat shirt. He's snoring loudly.
Meg looks at Gary, then starts laughing. It wakes up the snoring nerd, who jumps up and says "What?" Alex giggles.
Confessional (Meg): Yeah, that pizza party was fun last night, but (yawns) I didn't really get enough sleep.
Alex says, "Why hasn't Chris yelled at us to get up and go to whatever room yet?" He stands up and looks at the door. "There's some kind of note. Here. It says, If you want to survive today, go to the Gym and you'll find materials to make a souffle."
Helga stands up. "OK guys, I guess we should start going." The Killer Apples stand up and head outside.
Meanwhile, Amanda and the Screaming Rulers pick up their clue. Amanda says, "Hmm... the little paper says If you want to be safe from elimination, the Gym's the place to make a dish made out of a crustacean." Carson says, "So, I guess we're making crab cakes or something." They get up and leave.
The Killer Apples are walking through the hallway. "Where's the Gym again?" says Gary.
Confessional (Gary): This school's so confusing. I can barely find the bathroom! Oh yeah. It's right here. Heh heh...
Meg says, "Here it is guys! Now all we need to find are those supplies!" They race into the gym, but bump into the Screaming Rulers. Meg says, disgusted, "Eww. Amanda's team is here. What do you want, guys?"
Amanda says, "We're looking for crab cakes. You too? We'll find them first." Gary gets mad. "Um, ACTUALLY we're finding materials for a SOUFFLE! So HA!"
The Screaming Rulers look at each other and laugh. "OK, guys, can you move?" says Carson politely.
Meg replies, "I'm not movin' until you guys move!" The two teams then get into a bumping-into-each-other fight. They finally get out and the Apples race towards the bleachers. Meg says, "OK, so let's look. Gary, go check the basketball hoop."
Gary says, "Got it." He begins to shimmy up the basketball hoop, and sure enough, a big bag of sugar is hanging from the rim. "Okayyy, guys, if I can just..." He falls, with the sugar. Helga catches the sugar but Gary lands on Meg.
On the other side of the Gym, the Rulers see a pile of crab meat on the floor. "Easy." says Veronica. "Now all we need to do is find a bag to put it in.
Kurt shouts, "We need no bag! I've got two human bags right here!" He begins scooping up the crab meat and stuffing it into his pants. Carson begins to laugh.
The two teams, with their supplies, see an intern who gives them their next clues. Meg reads the Apples' clue. "Go to the room where you can play notes, and you will find flour, egg whites and egg yolks. Wow, that barely even rhymes. But let's go!" The Apples head to the Music Room.
In the Music Room, Alex sees the flour and eggs. "It's in this big tuba over here." he says. Gary tries to take care of it and gets stuck in the tuba. "I've got it..." he groans. "I just might be wearing this tuba for a while." Gary chuckles.
Confessional (Alex): I don't really want Gary to try and get the clue anymore. He always gets hurt... (giggles) Well, it's funny, but...
The Screaming Rulers read the next clue. "In the room where you spend half of your days, you'll find many things, such as mayonnaise."
Carson says, "Hmm... half of our days... I got it! We're going to--"
Kurt interrupts him. "The lunchroom! We spend, like, half of our days eating! C'mon guys!" Carson replies, "OK, whatever you say." and the Rulers leave.
The Apples emerge out of the Music Room with their supplies. They now have everything they need to make their souffle. But, unfortunately, Gary still has a large tuba stuck on his head. "It's weighing me down! I can barely move!" he complains, but nobody really cares.
Chris and Chef are waiting in the Foods Lab. "How long will this take them?" whines Chris. Before Chef can even answer, the Apples come in. "Excellent." says Chris. "Now you guys just sit tight for a moment..."
Everyone groans and sits down.
Meanwhile, the Rulers are having no luck at all searching through the lunchroom. Kurt says, "But I know it was in here! I so had it!" Chris interrupts on the loudspeaker, "Rulers, I don't know where you are, but you're not in the dorms, I can tell you that. So that means you guys lose that part of the challenge. Now hurry your butts over here!"
Confessional (Kurt): My gosh! The dorms? I get it now!
Confessional (Veronica): Kurt's such a dumb sack of potatoes. No brain in there.
Chris whines, "Now, if the Rulers didn't take so long," he directs his stare at Kurt, "we would have already STARTED the next challenge. Now, I'm pretty sure you know what it is. Just make the dish you got all the ingredients for."
Meg says, "OK, where's our recipe?" Chris replies, "Who said you got a recipe? Now GO!"
Amanda says, "OK guys, all we have is this nasty pile of crab meat. Now how are we supposed to make a dish?" Carson says, "How 'bout we get some mustard and put a smiley-face on it?"
Amanda replies, "Not funny." But Veronica and Kurt reply, "Actually, it was sort of funny." Amanda glares at them. But she looks back at Carson and he's actually made a mustard smiley-face on the pile of raw crab meat.
Confessional (Amanda): AAAUGH! That little shrimp is going down! Wait, never mind. He still thinks I like him.
Meg and the Killer Apples seem to be doing just fine. "We already won the last challenge, and the Rulers' dish is... never mind, we're probably going to win again tonight." states Meg. Gary, Alex and Helga clap their approval.
Alex says, "Our recipe is almost done. Gary, hand me the butter." A frazzled Gary is still caught in the tuba. He says, "Um... once you get me out of this tuba, I will."
Helga gets a bucket of water and dumps it on Gary. His body is now wet enough that the tuba can just slip off. It falls off, revealing him, and he's completely covered in butter. "Oh yeah, sorry." he says. "I must have accidentally opened the butter."
But the Apples don't seem to mind. "We need no butter!" says Meg. "We already have team spirit and our dish is almost done!"
An hour later, Chris, Chef, and a random intern (the judges) are ready to test the food. Chris says, "Rulers, you're up first."
Carson comes up and says, "Ta-da!" He gives the judges his happy crab cake.
Chris says, "Eww. What's in here? It seems like raw meat."
Chef says, "This thing is nasty, but it's better than half the things I cook."
The intern screams and runs out of the room.
Chris then says, "Apples, your course. But I don't think I can eat much after that." Meg brings up the chocolate souffle.
Chris says, "Mmm. Yummy. I mean, it's decent. I've eaten better."
Chef says, "This... this is amazing." He wipes away a tear from his eye.
The intern has been replaced with a new intern. He gives the dish 2 thumbs-up.
Chris screeches, "The Apples win! The Apples win! ...Again. Rulers, you know the drill. Meet me at the elimination room. Apples, you can have the rest of your dish as a reward."
Confessional (Helga): I'm surprised I haven't been eliminated yet. What have I done that's important? Well, I can live with it. Maybe I'll win.
In the Apples' dorm, Meg is eating the remains of the souffle. "Good work, guys." she says, "Here's to another night without losing! And let's hope that tonight Amanda gets voted off." Meg scoffs.
Alex says, "I agree with Meg. I don't trust that Amanda chick. She's just like Heather, only prettier."
Helga looks up from her book and replies, "Whatever you guys say."
At the Main Lobby, Chris states, "Rulers. You guys... again. Voting time."
Confessional (Carson): I really don't hate anyone on this team. It's hard to vote someone off.
Confessional (Amanda): Carson or Kurt? Carson or Kurt?
Confessional (Veronica): I'm going to vote whoever Amanda votes.
Chris says, "2 eliminations in a row. What's up with you guys? Maybe it's that curse Emilee gave to you."
Amanda scowls. "Emilee's gone, Chris. Get a clue." Chris replies in a spooky voice, "But her ghost still haunts this schoooooool..."
Carson says rushedly, "Dude, she's not dead." Chris just winks.
"The first A+ goes to... Carson!" Carson cheers and starts playing the air guitar. "...Veronica." Veronica comes up and grabs her A+, but looks at Amanda, who's in the bottom two.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final A+ of the night. Whoo. Wow, that went super quick. Anyway, the final A+ goes to..."
Kurt gets up. "Kinda expected that, guys." he says, without any disappointment in his voice. "Dude," he points to Carson, "be careful. You're the only guy left. Hopefully, the merge will be soon. But anyways, you're representing me!"
Carson looks upset. "Bye, dude!" he waves to Kurt, who's on the School Bus of Losers, fading into the sunset.
Once Kurt has disappeared from sight, Carson looks at his only teammates left. He goes up to the girls and puts his arms around them. "Looks like we're the final 3 Rulers, ehhh?" Carson winks at the girls, who immediately leave.
Chris says, "Okay. Who will be eliminated next? How will Carson survive in a team with only girls? And will the Killer Apples continue their winning streak? Tune in next time to find out on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 7- "Language Farts"
The Rulers are peacefully sleeping... sort of. Amanda wakes up to find Carson piled on top of her and Veronica laughing her head off.
Amanda shrieks, "Aaaaah!" She kicks Carson, who flies off the bed and onto the floor. Carson scratches his head. "What just happened?" he says sleepily.
Amanda says, "Yucch! You were sleeping on me for the whole night!" Veronica isn't very happy. "Guys, if we want to win today, we sort of have to act like a real team." she says.
Confessional (Carson): How can we act like a team when there's only 3 of us?
Veronica then says "OK people, let's go!" Amanda and Carson are both being lazy and won't budge. Veronica has to resort to dragging them out of the room.
While they're walking through the school, they see the Apples. Meg taunts, "Hey, mini-team. Ready to get your butt kicked... again?" Amanda replies cynically, "Oh, just shut up."
Helga says, "Well, it's sort of true. You guys have 3 people." Amanda rolls her eyes.
Confessional (Gary): With only 3 people on the Rulers' team, we can just keep beating them until nobody is left! Or until the merge.
Chris comes up to the contestants. "Morning, guys." he says. "Ready for the challenge? Follow me to today's destination."
In their destination (the auditorium), Chris explains, "Today's challenge is based off of everyone's favorite thing... books! Today, you'll be performing a real-life reenaction of your favorite book. Each team will go to the Drama Room and pick out any materials you need for the play. Then, come back and rehearse. Once you're done, show it to me and Chef, and we'll determine the winner! Now... go!"
The teams race into the hallway. Gary says to the Apples, "Chris didn't say where the Drama Room even is!" Meg replies, "Don't worry, guys. It's right here." The Apples walk into the Drama Room.
Helga says, "Team, I think I know what book we should act out... The Thirsty Games!"
Alex says boredly, "What book is that?"
Meg says, "I don't really like sci-fi."
Gary says, "Must've missed that book."
Helga says rushedly, "Guys?" She begins to sweat. "You know, The Thirsty Games? Catching Water? MOCKINGBIRD?"
Gary says, "Nobody knows what you're talking about, Helga. I've got a good book... what about Ultimate Video Game Cheats, volume III? It has, like, every video game cheat in the WORLD for every video game in the WORLD! Heh heh."
Alex says, "Oh yeah, I checked that book out from the library once. It was pretty helpful."
Meg responds, "How are we going to act out cheats? And besides, I don't even play video games that much."
Gary and Alex stare at her with their mouths hanging open like dead fish. Gary grabs his SDi from his pocket and gives it to Meg. "Here, try it. It's Dragon Ball X." Meg opens up the video-game system and starts playing.
Meanwhile, the Rulers are a little more focused. Carson says, "This is my favorite book. It's hilarious." He holds up a book called "Journal of a Timid Child." Amanda replies, "Not going to argue there. I've read that. It made me laugh once or twice."
Veronica nods her approval. The Rulers then start rummaging through costumes. Carson holds up a shirt and short-shorts. "I'll be the main character."
Veronica grabs a dress. "I call being that hot girl who the main character likes!"
Carson says, "Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. I think Amanda is more fit for that role. Right, Mand?" Amanda nods. Veronica grumbles and hands the dress to Amanda.
Confessional (Veronica): How am I not hot?
Veronica mumbles, "Then I guess I have to be that gangsta who mugs the kid on the way to school." Carson gives her saggy pants and some bling. "Reminds me of Devin." she says.
The Apples are still arguing. "Ultimate Video Game Cheats!" yell Gary and Alex.
"Thirsty Games!" shouts Helga.
"Um... Meg? Support us here? Helloooo?" says Gary.
Meg won't answer, she's addicted in the video game Gary let her borrow.
Confessional (Meg): (playing Gary's game) Die! Die! Oh yeah! Next level!
She then looks up from her game. "I say Ultimate Video Game Cheats." Helga gets really mad. "But we're the only girls! You have to support me!" she says.
Meg wrinkles her forehead. "I said, I don't really like sci-fi." The Apples then start looking for costumes.
Later, the Apples are in their costumes, ready to rehearse. Meg, dressed in a knight's garb, complete with a sword and everything, says, "Okay, how are we supposed to do this?"
Gary, who's dressed like Vegeta, says, "I'll say a cheat, and you guys act it out."
Helga is dressed like a generic princess with a crown and pink dress, and Alex has a large spiked shell on and yellow footie pajamas.
Alex tells Gary, "Sounds good, bro."
The Rulers are working together to get the rehearsal done. Amanda says, "Okay, guys. Scene 1, at home. Go!"
Carson, in his plain white T-shirt and short-shorts, is sitting at "home" drinking his juice. He says, "Bye Mom! I'm going to school now!" Carson looks around. "Wait, who's gonna be the Mom?"
Amanda says, "I'll do it. But just my voice."
They repeat the scene again, and Carson heads out the "door" on his way to school. He is walking along. "Hmm, I'm so glad all of the bullies moved away." he says in an obvious tone.
"Psst! Veronica! That was your cue!" he whispers angrily. Veronica says timidly, "I don't want to come out!"
Carson says a little louder, "Just do it!" Veronica comes out wearing an enormous shirt about 5 sizes too big, extremely saggy pants, a do-rag, and bling with a gold "V" on it.
"Yo." she says, and begins to laugh hysterically.
Carson says, "Be more menacing." Veronica screams, "YO! I'm going to mug you, foo'!"
Carson screams and runs away. "Get back here!" Veronica yells, and trips over her saggy pants.
Confessional (Amanda): This hasn't gone very well so far.
At the Auditorium, Chris is lying on the stage with an intern massaging him. He has no shirt on. He says, "Aaah. That's it. S'more. Oh, yeah."
The Screaming Rulers come in. The intern points to the Rulers and runs away.
Chris screams, "Hey! What happened to the rest of my massage!" but notices that the Rulers are just staring at him. "Oh, yeah. You guys are ready. Heh heh heh. Anyway, wait until the Apple--"
The Killer Apples arrive in their strange costumes. "--Never mind." finishes Chris.
Chef says, "Okay, schoolmates. First up, the Screaming Apples!"
Chris whispers something to him. "Oh, right. The Killer Apples!" says Chef.
The Apples walk onto the stage. Gary says, "The Killer Apples present... Ultimate Video Game Cheats, Volume III!"
Gary says, "First up, a cheat from the award winning game series, maybe the most popular video game on Earth... Super Alberto!"
Alex is dragged onto the stage, wearing his spiky turtle and footies outfit. He says, "Rawr."
Gary reads out loud from the book, "When you are fighting Growser, jump 3 times in the air then enter this button combination: A, B, A, C, A, C, Z, X, B, C. Then you will automatically beat the game."
Alex leaves, and says, "Y'know, this wasn't my idea."
Gary then reads the next cheat, which is from the "Famed Knight" series. "Go to Princess Willow's castle and look at the treasure chest behind her throne. It contains 5000 gold pieces!"
Helga comes out with a plastic treasure chest. She opens it and takes out fool's gold. "I really wanted to do the Thirsty Games. Some team." She drops the fool's gold and storms off.
Gary then explains another cheat, and Meg comes out with Alex again, and she pretends to "stab" Alex, who says in a monotone voice, "Ow."
Gary says his last cheat. "In Dragon Ball X, my favorite game, go to the Codes screen and use the microphone to say OVER 9000!!! The game will give you infinite lives and you automatically beat it! Plus, you get to play as Vegeta! How cool is that?" He then leaves.
Confessional (Alex): That was ridiculously cheesy. We're gonna lose, and I'm ready to get sent home.
Chris says, "That was... interesting. But let's see if the Rulers can live up to it!"
Carson comes out. He's sipping his juice. "Mom, I'm ready for school!" he yells. Amanda, from off-stage, yells, "Have a pathetic day! Your breath smells like Ricky!"
Everyone laughs. Carson grumbles and leaves. The next scene is on the streets. Carson says , "Hmm, I'm so glad all of the bullies moved away." Veronica, the gangsta, comes out. She shrieks, "Yo yo yo. I'm gonna mug you, li'l boy."
Carson leaves, and once again Veronica trips over her saggy pants.
The final scene is at school. Carson says to himself, "I sure like that girl over there. I'm going to ask her out!"
Carson goes up to Amanda, playing the girl, and says, "Will you go out with me?" Amanda punches Carson in the face.
He falls over, and gets a bloody nose. "Ow! You weren't supposed to actually hit me!" says Carson. Amanda says, "Oops. My bad."
Chris and Chef burst out laughing. "Nonstop physical comedy!" says Chris. "The Rulers win!"
Amanda jumps up and cheers with Veronica. Carson grumbles.
Confessional (Carson): I mean, we won and all, but I'm starting to question whether Amanda is the best person to have a crush on.
In the Apples' dorm, Helga is very mad. "Guys, if we had done The Thirsty Games, we would've won! Now who should we vote off?"
Meg is invested in Gary's video game. She's screaming "Yes! I won!"
Helga says evilly, "I think I know."
Confessional (Meg): I finally finished that game. Now I can focus on winning the competition.
Confessional (Gary): Helga's nuts. Real nuts. And if she's gone, that means more time with me and Meg! Oh yeah... and Alex. That party pooper.
Confessional (Alex): I vote for Meg because she's a jerk. Or maybe it's just because she's my complete opposite.
At the Main Lobby, Chris says, "So your winning streak ended already? Wow, guys. That's just... wow. Anyway, the first A+ goes to... Meg." Meg comes up and grabs her A+.
"Alex." Alex sighs. "Guys, this is the final A+ of the night. Pretty brief eliminations lately. Maybe there should've been more than 12 people. Well, there's a surprise later, but anyway, the final A+ goes to..."
"...Gary." Gary grabs his A+. "Why am I always the last one picked? Well, it's fine. I'm not complainin'."
Helga stands up. "Okay, guys. I'm not even that surprised. Bye, everyone. And now that I'm eliminated, I can have more time to read books! Eee!"
She skips away, onto the School Bus of Losers.
Before the Apples go to bed, Alex says, "Looks like we're another 3-person team. Ah, well." He falls asleep.
Chris says outside the school, "That was my favorite challenge yet! I mean, seeing people get beat up-- priceless! Oh, yeah. Who will be the next person to go? How will the teams survive with only 3 people on each one? And why do some people not even care about their elimination? Find out next time on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 8- "Revolutionary Bore"
The Apples are asleep in their dorms. Alex is having a weird dream about floating in a boat made out of candy canes. But suddenly, a huge Sharissa pops out and laughs like a maniac, making Alex explode!
"Huh? What?" Alex wakes up.
Confessional (Alex): Sharissa is still haunting me... even in my dreams! That's so creepy.
Meg and Gary also wake up. Meg says, "What's all the noise about?"
Alex replies groggily, "It was a dream. I think it's some kind of omen."
Meg says, "Pssh. That's crazy-talk. Now let's get up. Who knows where Chris wants us today."
The teams leave their dorms and see Chris, just relaxing by the Main Lobby. The School Bus of Losers is parked outside the school.
"Um, Chris?" says Carson. "Why is the School Bus still here?"
Chris giggles. "You'll find out, Carson. But anyways, welcome to today's challenge! Today's challenge is based off of the subject History! But first, something else."
Confessional (Gary): What else does he want from us?
Chris yells, "The teams are merged today!" He gets out a party hat, puts it on, and blows out a party-blower.
Amanda says, "So I guess we're the final 6? Phew. That's rewarding."
Chris replies, "Nope!" Everyone says, "Huh?"
Chris says gleefully, "To mix things up, we have 2 returning contestants!"
Confessional (Carson): So THAT'S why the School Bus of Losers is still here.
Chris shouts, "First up... it's everyone's favorite little poseur... Devin!"
Amanda groans. "Oh, lord." she mutters.
Confessional (Amanda): I already have enough stress with Carson here, and now Little Gangsta is back? Ugh!
Devin comes jogging out of the School Bus of Losers. "Yo, yo, yo, homes!" he shouts. "The Dev-man's back in the house! And so are... my saggy pants!"
Everyone stares at him, waiting for his pants to fall down, but they stay upright. "Yep, I got a belt today, peeps! No more embarrassment! Word!"
Gary says, "Glad to have you back, Devin." Carson nods.
"And, who might you ask is the second person returning?" says Chris.
Confessional (Alex): (crossing his fingers) Oh. Whoops, heh heh. I'm just exercising my fingers.
"It's the creepiest, craziest, most insane girl ever... Sharissa!"
Alex grins, and sees Sharissa yelling like a maniac, running out of the bus,
"Hey guys!" she says, "Glad to be back! Meggie! You're still in the game!" Sharissa rushes to Meg and gives her a bear-hug.
Meg says uncomfortably, "Hey, Sharissa. Nice... to see you, I guess."
Sharissa sees Alex. "ALEEEEEX!" she shrieks, and kicks him.
Alex mutters, "Finally, things are getting back to normal."
Chris then says, "Okay, guys. Back to the challenge. So, today, as I already explained, is based off of History class. You'll be reenacting a war."
"No, you idiots." he says, "With paintball guns. Now, there is a flag hidden somewhere in the school. Everyone will be trying to get that flag. Whoever gets the flag first wins for tonight and is safe from elimination! But, there will be obstacles. Like ol' King Chef III."
Chef, in a powdered wig and British royal coat, grins evilly and holds up a rifle.
Veronica says nervously, "That's not a real rifle, is it?"
Chris laughs sadistically. "You can also shoot each other with paintballs. So, yeah. That's today's challenge. Here's some traditional war garb." He hands the boys blue hats and the girls pink hats, and paintball guns for everyone.
"On your mark... Get set... GO!" The contestants take off running across the school.
Devin is running, but can't really run fast thanks to his saggy pants. Carson and Gary catch up with him.
Gary says, "Hey guys, ever thought of making an alliance?"
Carson says, "Well, sorta, but I already have that thing with Amanda, and Gary, I know you have a little crush on Meg..."
Gary says, "No comment. Now, how about an all-boys alliance? So we can kick out the girls 1-by-1?"
Devin says, "Sounds good, homes. But wait!" Devin points his paintball gun at Gary and Carson.
Gary shrieks, "Dude! Remember, ALLIANCE?" Devin scratches his head. "Oh, yeah. Whoopsy."
Confessional (Devin): Alliance! Word!
Meanwhile, Amanda and Veronica are in the Teacher's Lounge, Chris and Chef's private quarters.
Veronica says, "Amanda, are you sure we're supposed to be in here?"
Amanda says, "Relax. It'll be-- what was that?"
A rustling is heard in the hallway. It's Alex, getting a drink at the drinking fountain. Amanda says, "Shhh." and sneaks up behind Alex. She readies her gun, and...
"YAAA!" Sharissa pops out of nowhere, splattering Amanda with paintballs. Amanda shrieks. "Sharissa, you IDIOT!" Sharissa giggles, grabs Alex and runs away.
Amanda says to Veronica, "Let's go. We have to find that flag." They leave the Teacher's Lounge and start heading towards the Gym.
In the Gym, Devin, Gary and Carson are under the bleachers. Devin says, "I've got a rockin' idea for the name of our alliance, yo. Bling Brothas!"
Confessional (Carson): Bling Brothas? What does that even MEAN?
Devin says, "It's the name of the group of gangstas at my school, yo."
Gary says, "But we're not... gangstas."
Devin grins and takes out a bandanna and some sunglasses out from his backpack. "Here." he says, putting them on Gary.
Gary says, "I don't really feel comfortable with this on. But I love it!"
Carson says, "OK, so who's going to be our first target? I think Veronica, she's sorta useless."
Gary says, "Yep, so Veronica? Sounds good." Someone steps into the Gym. "What was that, homies?" says Devin.
The boys take out their guns. Carson peeks through a crack in the bleachers. "It's just Meg, guys. PSST! HEY, MEG!" he shouts.
Meg looks around. She can't see anyone. Gary climbs out of the bleachers. Meg then sees him, and readies her gun.
Gary says, "No, don't shoot! We just need to talk." Meg mutters something and walks over to Gary and the other boys. "What do you want?" she says.
Gary responds, "Wanna vote out Veronica with us?" but Meg shakes her head. "Amanda's my rival. I'm voting her tonight. That is, unless she gets invincibility. Which she won't. I will. See ya!" Meg takes off sprinting.
Alex and Sharissa are stalking around in the hallway. "Where's that stupid flag?" Sharissa mutters. "Let's open up all these lockers." She begins trying different combinations, but that doesn't work, so she ends up picking the lock.
Alex says, "Y'know, nobody is using these lockers. They're just for decoration, so why would the flag be in one anyway?" He gets splattered with a paintball. Alex looks behind him, and sees Meg laughing her head off and running away.
Meg is running through the halls until she stops. There, blocking the entrance to the Cafeteria, is Chef with his rifle. He laughs like a disturbed horse.
Meg gets extremely scared. She sees the flag tucked into his pants. "How am I supposed to get it?" she says to herself. She contemplates for a moment, then charges full-speed at Chef. She is pulling her paintball trigger as fast as she can, getting Chef completely covered in paint. Chef screams and fights back. Luckily, his rifle isn't real, but it does shoot out water full-blast...
Meanwhile, the "Bling Brothas" are trying to find the flag. They see, from far away, Meg and Chef fighting. "Not even going to go there." says Gary. They head the other way, but Carson is sort of scared.
"Ever feel like you're being watched?" he says, and the other two boys agree. Suddenly, Amanda, from behind, rams into Carson, knocking him down and starting a dogpile on the floor. Veronica soon follows.
"Where's.... the.... flag?!?" Amanda says, in between punches and struggles. Carson says, "I.... don't.... have it...!"
From far away, Meg's voice echoes through the halls. "I do!"
Amanda growls, and gets off of the Bling Brothas. Her and Veronica sprint as fast as they can, trying to find Meg.
They finally see Meg, who's completely covered in water, but has the flag in her hands. "Hey, guys." she says tauntingly. "Guess you were just a little too late, huh?"
Amanda glares. Chris then walks over to the contestants, most of them being either very beat up or piled on top of each other on the floor. "O-kayyy." says Chris. "Well, whatever. Meg wins, so she gets invincibility. All of the rest, it's time to vote out a player. Oh yeah! Girls, move all of your stuff to the Screaming Rulers' dorm. Boys, go to the Apples." He walks away.
In the boys' room, Alex and Gary are hanging out.
Confessional (Alex): I can't believe I've made it this far! All I ever do is sit around and avoid work. I must have some sort of luck.
Gary says, "Think you're going to win?"
Carson comes in with a suitcase. "Me? Nah. It's just fun being here."
Devin walks into the dorm with a very large trash bag and some pairs of extremely large pants. "Yo, yo homies! Where am I gonna sleep, yo?"
Gary mutters, "Take the far-left bunk." Devin looks at the bunk, which is completely torn-up with flies buzzing around it.
Devin says, "Word." and gets onto the bed.
Carson then says, "OK, guys, the key part of having an alliance is voting out people. Earlier we said we'd vote out Veronica, but we need to put some thought into this."
Alex mutters, "Wait? Alliance?"
Gary says, "Oh yeah, we didn't tell him. We have an alliance called Bling Brothas, and we're sorta focused on picking off the girls."
Alex says, "Nope. That means you'll target Sharissa, and as much as I hate her, she can still be useful." Alex plops down onto his bunk and begins to fall asleep.
Devin says, "Okay, yo. You don't need to be in our alliance. Now, how 'bout Meg, yo? She's a jerk, ya know wha' I'm sayin', homes?"
Gary says, "Nope. 1, she's hot. 2, she's helpful. And 3, she's hot."
The other boys stare at him. Carson laughs, "You have a crush on Meg? You'll never--" Gary glares. "Whatever."
In the girls' dorm, they aren't bonding as much.
Amanda is doing her nails on her bed, when Meg walks in. Meg says, "Which bed do I get?"
Amanda replies smugly, "You get to sleep on the floor." Meg begins to laugh. Amanda says, "I'm not kidding."
Meg shouts out, "Stop being a jerk! Now, let me sleep on a bed." Amanda calmly says, "No."
Meg says loudly, "Well then, I'm going to take your bottom bunk!"
Amanda says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. The bottom bunk is for Veronica, not you." Veronica then comes in and puts all of her stuff on the bottom bunk.
Sharissa says, "OK, guys. Don't get all rowdy! Meggie, you can share my bunk. Amanda and whatever your name is, I'll just call you Ginger, stop being such @#$%!"
Amanda and Veronica gasp. Amanda says, "Did you just say what I think you said?"
Veronica says, "And why Ginger?"
At the elimination ceremony, Chris says, "Well, well, well. Quite a lot of tension going around here."
Confessional (Meg): I've made it to the merge and I won tonight. It's so obvious I'll win it all.
Confessional (Sharissa): Amanda's a jerk. I'm just glad I got Meggie to vote for her with me.
Confessional (Devin): Yo yo foo! Watch me get safe tonight, yeah!
Chris says slowly, "Meg, you won the challenge, so take your A+." Meg grabs her A+ from the table. "Sharissa, you're also safe." Sharissa grabs her prize. "Alex." Alex sits there and Chris throws his A+ to him. "Veronica and Devin." Devin starts dancing and jumping while Veronica smiles. "Amanda." Amanda laughs evilly and gets her A+.
"Gentlemen, this is the final A+." Carson and Gary stare at each other.
"The final A+ goes to..."
"Well, actually, both of you." Chris gives Carson and Gary both A+'s.
Gary says, "What?" Chris then laughs. "Silly kids. It was a fake elimination. Just a reward challenge. And speaking of rewards, Meg, for winning the challenge, you get authentic Revolutionary War-time Candy!"
Meg gets her candy and bites into it. "Eeugh! This is hard as a rock!"
Chris says, "When I said it was Revolutionary War-time, I meant it was actually made in the 1700s."
Meg groans and goes back to her dorm, along with everyone else.
Chris then signs off the episode. "Will the 'Bling Brothas' dominate at the next real elimination? Will Sharissa and Meg team up against Amanda and Veronica? And will Alex ever quit being so lazy? Tune in next time on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 9- "Video Maims"
In the girls' dorm, Meg is fast asleep but gets a rude awakening from Sharissa.
"MEGGIEEEE!" Sharissa screams, jumping up and down on Meg's bed. "Can I have some of that War-time candy?"
Meg says, "Sure." then falls back asleep. Sharissa grabs the candy and starts chomping on it.
Confessional (Meg): Finally, I'm rid of that crappy candy. Y'know, Sharissa might actually be a good person to start an alliance with... too bad she's so clingy with Alex.
Amanda and Veronica are chatting. Amanda says, "We were safe last night, and the time before. But that won't always happen, Veronica. You need to get your head in the GAME!"
Confessional (Veronica): Yeah, I guess I don't really try that much, but I'm still in the game!
In the boys' dorm, everyone is asleep. Devin wakes up and starts to rap. "Today is a great day, yo! Time to play! Hang out wit' some chicks! Word, word, yay!"
Carson gets up. "Devin, what the cabbage? I was trying to sleep."
Gary and Alex wake up and nod. Gary says, "We can try to sleep longer. That dumb Chris hasn't announced any challenge yet."
Outside the dorms, Chris is screaming his head off. "Meet me at the Computer Lab for today's Challenge!" he shrieks.
Alex glares at Gary.
At the Computer Lab, Chris says, "Hey, guys! At some schools, kids go to a Computer Lab to learn and have fun while playing educational games."
Confessional (Alex): Yeah. At some elementary schools.
"Well, today's challenge won't be educational OR fun! For you, at least." Chris chuckles sinisterly. "For the first part of the challenge, you will be teaming up into groups of 2 to make your own video game! And then, I'll judge them, and explain part 2! So, here are the groups. Chef?"
Chef comes out with a large sheet of paper. He says, "Gary and Meg."
Gary says, "Yesss!" Meg replies, "Well, you do know a lot about video games... that's cool... I guess."
Confessional (Meg): Gary's not really that cool. He's nerdy... and annoying. But helpful.
Chef then says, "Amanda and Carson."
Amanda sighs. Carson comes up to her and says, "It's OK, 'Manda. I'll do all of the work."
Amanda says, "Dream on, little kid. I'm the leader."
Chef says, "Alex and Sharissa."
Alex groans, "I kind of expected that." Sharissa shrieks and slaps Alex on the back, which hurts the small kid.
Chef says, "And finally... Devin and Veronica."
"What now? I don't even know this chick, yo!" says Devin.
Veronica says, "Why? Why, Chef? WHYYYY?"
Confessional (Veronica): I've never played a video game in my life. And Devin's probably too busy hanging out with his gangsta friends. We're going to lose, I know it.
The contestants, in their groups of 2, walk down to the Computer Lab. Gary says to Meg, "okay, so what do you want to do? How 'bout one where Vegeta pops up and you have to hit him with water balloons?"
Meg says, "Sounds good to me. But the problem is, what kind of software are you supposed to use to make a videogame?"
"It's called MicroMedia Crash. Pretty much, all you do is..."
Gary and Meg's computer shuts down randomly.
"Gary!" Meg yells. "What did you do!" Gary laughs nervously. "Whoopsie..."
Confessional (Meg): Sometimes, I just don't know about that boy.
Sharissa is talking to Alex about her idea. "How 'bout, you play as a crazy gun-wielding rabid monkey, and you go around blasting mutant squirrels with your bazooka!"
Alex mutters, "What's wrong with you?"
Sharissa begins madly typing on her computer, and logs into MicroMedia Crash. "Say cheeeeese!" she says, and takes a picture of Alex. She draws the body of a squirrel on Crash and uploads Alex's head on top of it. She then draws mean eyebrows and foam coming out of Alex's mouth.
Alex says, "So, I guess I'm the mutant squirrels and you're the crazy gun-wielding rabid monkey?"
Sharissa says very quickly, "Correct-a-mundo." She draws a monkey's body with a bazooka and puts a picture of her head onto it.
Meanwhile, Amanda is lecturing Carson. "Okay, Carson. I know you're more of a silly competitor than a real strategist like moi, but I really think we could rock a final 2 alliance."
Carson says, "Wait, you said that exact same thing to Veronica a while ago."
Amanda keeps talking. "You know how I feel about Veronica, I'm just playing her. And when the time comes, I'll ditch her."
"You're icky." says Carson.
Confessional (Carson): Um, yeah. I watched TDI all the time back home. I'm beginning to realize that Amanda is a lot like Heather. But who cares? Hanging out with the antagonist might give me some luck. I know Veronica's just a Lindsay clone, and there's no way I'm a Beth. I'm so aware of Amanda's evilness. I'm actually going to try to trick her. But for now, let's see what she means about a Final 2 alliance.
Amanda says, "Now, let's focus on our actual video game. What do you want to do?"
Carson pulls out his uPod Touch and connects it to the computer. "I've got a lot of games on here." he says. "I can just download 'em onto the computer and Chris won't even see it coming."
Amanda grins. "I like that."
Devin is talking in gangsta-speak. "Yo, Vivian. I've got some coo' ideas for our video-game, yo."
Veronica says, "Who's Vivian?"
Devin says, "Uhh, I thought that was yo' name."
Veronica replies, "You're really weird."
"Why you talkin' trash foo'?" Devin gets enraged. "What's up with yo, G?"
"What?" Veronica says in a confused way.
Confessional (Veronica): I can't even understand a word he says.
"Why you trippin' foo?" says Devin. "If we wanna make a phat video-game, we gotta work together, word."
Veronica says, "OK. But can you talk in at least a normal way? Like what you said earlier?"
"Wha's' that, yo?" says Devin.
"Like, at the beginning of the game, all you said was yo, yo, yo and stated about how you were saggin'."
"Okay, homes." replies Devin. "Now, our's game's gon' be fly. It's gon' be about a gangsta like yours truly, who's gon' be dancin', and you hafta match up his dancin' with your dancin'."
Veronica says, "O-kayyy. Sounds good."
Later, everyone is done with their video games. Well, almost everyone. Meg and Gary still can't get their computer to load.
Chris comes out wearing the famous costume worn by "Super Alberto," complete with the moustache and hat. He says in an Italian accent, "Okay, competitors. Lo giudicare i vostri giochi. "
Confessional (Amanda): How does he know all of these languages?
"Il primo, è Gary e Meg con ... Wait, do Gary and Meg even have a game?" says Chris.
Meg whispers, "Gary! What do we tell him?" Gary nods and says, "I've got a plan."
Gary then says loudly, "We actually have a real life video game to present for you today! It's called... Vegeta Vs. The Water Balloons!" He then whispers, "Meg, you just throw water balloons at me." He hands her a bucket of water balloons. Meg instantly throws one at him.
A soaked Gary says, "...Just wait until I get into my Vegeta costume."
Meg says, "All right. Got it." Gary runs into the dorm, and comes back a couple seconds later with his Vegeta costume he wore during the play challenge.
Gary says, "On your mark, get set, GO!" Meg begins to chuck water balloons at him as fast as she can, getting Gary completely drenched.
Chris says, "E come fa, che hanno anche a che fare con un videogioco? How does that even have to do with a video game? Anyways, next up is Amanda and Carson with... Scribblejump? I thought that was an uPod Touch game. But, okay. I'll play it."
Chris sits down at their computer and plays the video game that wasn't even made by Carson and Amanda. Once he's done, he says, "I think you illegally downloaded this game from Carson's uPod. But I like it! Molto buono!"
"Next up is Sharissa and Alex with their... erm, interesting game called... Hay, Sharissa, what is your game even called?"
Sharissa says, "The Crazy Bazooka-Wielding Rabid Monkey From The Planet Zorktron Vs. The Evil Mutant Squirrels Who Store A Lot Of Gas!"
Chris then says, "O-kayyy." He logs onto the game. It's a twisted game with a monkey who kills evil squirrels by shooting them with a bazooka, and blood comes out. "Wow, pretty graphic. Is it just me, or do the squirrels kill you by farting? That's really immature, guys. Okay, our final game for today is made by Devin and Veronica."
Devin brings out a dance pad and hooks it up to the computer. "Okay, homie." says Devin to Chris. "Jus' look at the gangsta, and try t' match his dancin' steps. If ya' lose, the gangsta talks trash about ya' and calls ya' a foo'."
Chris looks at the gangsta on the computer. He begins to dance along with him. When the gangsta slaps his butt, Chris refuses to do it, so he loses. The gangsta on the screen says, "Was up wit dat foo'?"
Chris laughs, and so does everyone else. Veronica then says, "So who wins for tonight?"
Chris replies, "The challenge isn't over. Get ready for part 2!"
Chris says, "Okay. Here's challenge 2. You've just been teleported into a real game."
Confessional (Gary): Wow. The cheesiness factor is, like, over 9000.
"You have to make your way through the video game obstacle course and finally get to the flag! The course is outside, and each person will do it 1-by-1. The person with the fastest time wins invincibility." he says.
Outside, the schoolmates look at the course. It starts out grassy, with 2 interns dressed as brown mushrooms scurrying about. It then turns into a cave, with swinging platforms. After that, it looks like a large fortress with "lava" everywhere and Chef in the same costume that Alex wore in the drama challenge. Then, it turns grassy again, with steps leading to a flagpole that you have to shimmy down to win.
Alex says, "Chris? I have a question. How does any of this have to do with SCHOOL?"
Chris sighs. "Well, it was first supposed to be a trivia-type thing, but then the interns got creative with the designs. Now Alex, since you asked that fine question, you get to go first!"
Alex says, "Okay."
Chris says, "GO!" and Alex slowly walks towards the course. He stomps on the 2 interns dressed as mushrooms and calmly walks to the cave. He gets onto the swinging platforms and easily makes his way to the "fortress", with all the lava.
Alex yells, "Seriously? Fake lava? I bet it's just water with food coloring in it or something." He takes off his shoes and socks and steps into the lava. He immediately screams and starts running away. "Seriously? REAL lava?" he shrieks. He then finishes, with a time of 5:46.
The next person to go is Sharissa. She sprints off into the distance before Chris even tells her to go, and punches the interns, who get knocked out. She cuts the rope holding up the swinging platforms so they don't swing. She kicks Chef in the kiwis, spits on the lava and jumps to the end, with a time of 59 seconds.
Amanda is next. Since Sharissa made it extremely easy to get across, she just walks past the fainted interns, walks across the platforms, walks through the lava which is somehow all gone, sees Chef and runs away, and shimmies down the flagpole easily. She gets a time of 58.9999 seconds.
Sharissa yells, "Seriously?"
Carson is next. He does everything easily, until he comes to Chef, who's now standing back up. Chef beats him up. A while later, Carson crawls to the finish, with a time of 4:44.
Veronica goes, and gets a time of 3:21. "Well, I'm not going to win." she says.
Gary then does the challenge, and gets scared of the interns in the costumes. He begins rolling around on the ground. One of the interns has to pick him up and chuck him. He hits the flagpole and falls over, unconscious. He finishes with a time of 5:45.
It's then time for Meg to go. Since she is ridiculously fast, she sprints towards the finish line. Everything looks good until... she trips and falls. She looks up and sees Chef laughing like a maniac. A couple seconds later, she gets up and punches Chef. She then crosses the finish. Meg's time was 59 seconds, tied with Sharissa but not as good as Amanda, who's still leading by .1 second.
Chris says, "Amanda's in the lead! Will Little Gangsta beat her record?"
Devin shouts, "I'ma try, G." and starts waddling, due to his saggy pants. "Yo! This ain't good!" he says. He seems to be doing a good job dodging the obstacles, but is still quite slow. His finishing time is 3:33.
Chris says, "Well then, with a finishing time of 58.9999 seconds, Amanda wins invincibility! Go into your dorms, guys and gals. You need to vote off a player."
In the boys' room, the Bling Brothas are having a "conference."
Gary says, "Tonight, the choice is so obvious. We vote out Alex." Carson and Devin agree.
Alex wakes up from his nap and says, "Wait? Wha? Oh, wait a sec, no way. You're not voting for me, are you?"
Devin says, "Why'd I do that, foo?" Alex frowns and says, "This Bling Brotha thing isn't going that well. Let's just target one person together, and with 4 votes against her, she'd definitely lose."
Confessional (Carson): All the chicks are pretty cool here. I don't know who to get rid of. Amanda's got invincibility, Meg's sorta cool and she's not evil or anything, Sharissa always manages to dodge every vote, and Veronica is just... there.
In the girls' room, Sharissa and Meg are reaching an agreement. "So it's settled." says Sharissa. "We vote out Devin."
Meg says, "Sounds good. I never liked that kid, he's really annoying. So we vote Devin, and then we'll think about who's next."
Amanda and Veronica are also chatting about the elimination. Amanda says, "Y'know what? I think we should get rid of Meg. She's my enemy since 1st grade, and her popularity makes her a threat. And, people think she's prettier than me."
At the Main Lobby, Chris says, "This one was sort of interesting to read. Well, someone might not be happy about this."
Confessional (Alex): What does that dingbat mean? Someone's not happy every time! Except Helga, because she's nuts.
Confessional (Veronica): I can't wait until the final 2! Amanda's so cool.
Confessional (Carson): I still can't-- wait a sec. I got it.
Confessional (Amanda): (laughing) What? It's just funny.
Chris then says, "Amanda, you won the challenge, so that means you get the first A+ of the night." Amanda says, "Excellent." and comes up to get her A+. "Carson, you're also safe." Carson yells, "Whoo-hoo!" and gets his prize. "Sharissa." Sharissa grabs her prize and kicks Chris. "Owww! What was that for? Whatevs. Meg is safe too." Meg grabs her prize. "Gary." Gary says, "Over 9000!" and gets his A+ for the night.
"Okay guys, this is the bottom 3." Alex, Devin and Veronica stare at each other. Veronica is smiling, Alex has no expression whatsoever, and Devin is crossing his fingers.
"Alex, you're safe." Alex says, "I was a bit scared for a sec." and grabs his A+.
"The final A+ of the night goes to..."
"Aw Yah!" shrieks Devin. "I'm safe for the night, homes!"
Veronica is puzzled. "Who voted for me? Amanda, I thought we were going to get into the final 2 together!"
Amanda says, "Didn't you realize that I was playing you this whole time? Get a clue, Ginger."
Veronica starts to get mad. "Well, Amanda. One, I'm not called Ginger. My name is Veronica. And two, you know what? You're a real jerk. You said you'd be my BFF, but now you just betray me. All right, I'll miss the rest of you."
Amanda says, "All right, Veronica. If that's the way you want it, fine. It was just strategy. I'm not trying to be mean. Well, it was nice knowing you." Amanda reaches out her arms to give Veronica a hug.
Veronica says, "I'm not huggin' you! Well, bye guys. It was fun, besides Amanda. I always thought there was something weird about the way she acted. I'm going to try to become my own person now."
Devin says, "Bye, G."
Veronica boards the School Bus of Losers and drives away.
Confessional (Meg): Wow, and I thought Amanda couldn't get any worse. She's going down right after I get rid of Little Gangsta.
In the girls' cabin, Amanda seems mad. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that, because now I have no friends except Carson. But he's not a girl."
Sharissa mutters, "Serves you right." and Meg laughs.
Chris says, "Whoo-hoo! It's down to the final 7! Who will win the next challenge and what will the challenge be? Will it be Carson, Sharissa, Amanda or... actually, I don't remember everyone's names. Well, find out next time on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 10- "Musical Scares"
The students are outside, hanging out on the playground structures. Gary, Devin and Carson are on the swings, discussing the remaining contestants.
Gary says, "So, Carson. Who's your fave person left in the game?"
Carson thinks for a moment, and then says, "Well, you and Devin are pretty cool. I sorta like Meg, she's sorta fun, and Alex is OK, but Amanda. That girl is hot with a capital H."
Devin says, "Yeah homies, that honey is fly, y' know wha' I'm sayin'?"
Gary mutters, "Not really. I don't really know what you're saying."
Devin says, "Whatevs, peeps." and walks away.
Carson says, "Well, how 'bout you, Gary?"
Gary responds, "Erm..."
Confessional (Carson): Gary obviously likes Meg. He even told me. Heh-heh.
Carson shouts so everyone can hear, "GARY LIKES MEG!"
Gary punches Carson in the shoulder. Carson says, "Dude, I was just kidding."
Meg, who's playing frisbee with Sharissa while Alex is lying on the ground asleep next to her, says, "I sort of knew that from Day 1."
Sharissa scowls. "You don't like him back, do you?"
"I do, as a friend. But not anything more. If Kurt wasn't such a fail at everything I would've liked him, but right now I'm single. Which is sort of weird, because at my school, every boy is obsessed with me."
Sharissa says, "Yeah, most boys I know think I have 'issues'."
Alex wakes up and mutters, "Ain't that the truth."
Meanwhile, Amanda is polishing her nails. She makes an angry face at Meg.
Confessional (Amanda): Right now, I'm friendless. Which is really pathetic, because I'm supposed to win this. How am I supposed to do that without any friends?!? Even acquaintances!
Confessional (Meg): If Amanda wasn't such a @#$%, then she might actually have some friends.
Confessional (Amanda): (grumpily) I'm like a lone wolf right now. Howl.
Confessional (Meg): My alliance with Sharissa is going strong. Hopefully she won't get eliminated that soon.
Chris comes out of the school with a large trumpet. Everyone groans.
Alex says, "Jeez, I thought there wasn't going to be a challenge. Guess I was wrong." He then falls back asleep.
Chris blows his trumpet and says, "Come hither!" The confused students walk towards Chris. "Today's challenge is based off of music class. Your first challenge will take place in the Music Room, where you'll try to find any instrument that you want, and try to play it in front of me and Chef. Then, you'll use your instruments to play in a symphony, where anyone who plays a wrong note will be pelted with mustard-filled water balloons and will lose their chance at invincibility for tonight's vote. Chef, would you like to demonstrate?"
Chef walks towards Alex, who's sleeping on the ground. He fills a water balloon up with mustard and chucks it at Alex. Alex shrieks and wakes up.
Confessional (Alex): Eww. Mustard. I just realized, the "tard" part sounds like "turd."
In the Music Room, the students are trying to find instruments. Devin says, "Yo, Chris, this room is huge, and none of my homies can find any stuff, got it?"
Chris says, "We made it huge on purpose."
Amanda sees an electric guitar on top of a large shelf. "There's something." she mutters. "Ugh! I can't reach it!" Amanda begins to jump up to try and get the guitar.
Meg says nefariously, "I'll help."
Amanda replies, "Wow, Meg. I didn't know you were that cool."
Meg picks Amanda up. Amanda grunts, "Okay... just a little higher..." Meg then turns the other direction and throws Amanda with such force, she crashes into a wall, making a large drum set fall on top of her.
Confessional (Amanda): Oh, she's gonna pay.
Meanwhile, Gary, Carson and Devin are looking for instruments. Gary sees something. "Hey, look, guys! It's that tuba that fell on my head a couple days ago! Remember?" He grabs the tuba and puts it on his head. "See, memories! Oh, my." The tuba gets stuck on his head... again.
Devin says, "You lookin' like a foo', G! Har har!"
"Well, boys, we're in that alliance, so we might as well work together." says Gary, with a muffled voice because of the tuba.
Carson responds, "Sounds cool enough. Devin, let me use you as a springboard to reach that keyboard over there before Wacko does."
Devin says, "Are you kidding me, G? We're tight and all, but I'm not that gullible. I ain't yo' slave, boy."
"Whatevs." says Carson, and then walks away.
Later, the students all have their instruments. Meg has the guitar Amanda originally wanted; Amanda, on the other hand, has the drum set she crashed into, Sharissa has a large keyboard, Alex has a set of maracas, Gary has the tuba, still stuck on his head, Carson has a bass and Devin has turntables.
Chris says, "All right, students! Now, you'll be playing your instruments in front of me, and the entire viewing world."
Alex whines, "Aw, nuts. I don't even know how to play the maracas."
Chris says, "You're kidding, right."
Alex shakes his head "no."
Chris says, "Well then, if you don't want to play an instrument, you must SING!"
Alex complains, "Awww..."
Chris says, "Yeah. Awww. Now, first up is Meg."
Meg walks onto the stage with a guitar. She says, "I call this song 'Ode to Meg.'" She begins to sing and play her guitar. In a rough, rowdy voice, she yells, "I love Meg, cause she is cooooool! I love runnin', and if you don't like it, then you're a foooooool! Aw yah, runnin! Aw, yah, Meg! Be sure to run before you go to... beg?"
Chris says, "All right, next up is Amanda."
Amanda begins playing on her drums loudly.
Chris says, "What about the singing?"
Amanda answers, "What? You said that you have to either sing or play an instrument!"
Chris says, "Yeah, about that. I changed my mind. Ha-ha. Now SING!"
Amanda mutters, "This isn't World Tour..." then begins to sing. "La la la. There, I'm done."
She walks off the stage. Chris says, "Up next... Sharissa with her keyboard."
Sharissa plays her keyboard (actually, she just bangs on it) and screams loudly.
Confessional (Alex): How is that music?
Chris says, "Truly, I'm getting really bored with this, so let's move it, and we'll get to the next part of the challenge. Which will be WAY more fun. Next is Alex, with his maracas. But he apparently doesn't know how to play the maracas, so he's going to sing a little song for us."
Alex says, "Dude, wait! I changed my mind!"
Chris says, "Sorry... too late. You had your chance, bro."
Alex steps onto the stage. He flips his hair back, and starts singing a cheesy but popular song.
Confessional (Gary): He listens to that crap?
Alex continues to sing. "Thought you'd always be mine, be miiiiine..."
Devin walks toward the stage.
Chris says, "No, Devin, you cannot rap."
Devin pouts and walks back to his seat.
Alex then ends, and Chris says, "All right. I'm a bit surprised that you've memorized that @#$%!, but whatever floats your boat.
Gary is the next person to go, with his tuba. He says, "Chris? I can't really play this tuba, because it's on my noggin. Can I be excused?"
Chris says, "Sure thing, bro. But that means you won't win this part of the challenge. That OK?"
Gary gives Chris a thumbs-up.
Next up is Carson, who plays a pretty good song on his bass. After he's done, he says, "Phew. That's over. Who's up next?"
Chris replies, "The final person for this part of the challenge, finally, it's-- uh oh. Devin, you're up."
Devin says, "Yessss! Now I get to showcase my 'Mad Skillz', homes!"
Chris says, "Actually, can we skip you? I want to get the next challenge started."
Devin shrieks, "Noooo! My rap, yo! We can't continue wit' out it!"
Chef comes in with a roll of duct tape and puts some on Devin's mouth, then starts mumbling under his breath and leaves.
Chris says, "Um... you guys were all so horrible, but I guess I have to pick a winner, so that means... Meg, you won that part of the challenge. Here's your advantage in the next challenge." Chris hands Meg a pair of earmuffs. "Meet me at the auditorium."
Later, in the auditorium, the students are lined up on a large stage with their instruments ready.
Chris says, "In order to be a good symphony, you need to dress nicely." He hands each male student a tuxedo, and each female student a velvet dress.
"Oh, no way, homes! I don't wear tuxes. I sag, and that's it, got it?" says Devin.
"But you will wear a tux, if you want to advance in the game." Chris narrows his eyes. "Right?"
"All right, home-dawg. All right." says Devin, and puts on his tux.
Chris says, "All right, let the symphony..."
"Wait, what are we doin'?" says Sharissa, confused.
"I've explained it already. You're playing in a symphony. If you get something wrong, Chef throws a water balloon filled with mustard at you, and you're out. The last person standing wins. Now jeez, Sharissa, try to listen."
"It's not my fault I'm so hyperactive." says Sharissa.
Chris says, "All right, and with that note..." he laughs. "You get it? That note? Let the symphony begin!"
Sharissa begins to play her keyboard slowly and solemnly. She looks down, and then screams and jumps in the air. She begins to play madly.
Carson, with his bass, and Devin, with his turntables, begin to play. Devin starts mixing an obnoxious rap song, and it plays loudly, so no other instruments can be heard.
The other students glare at Devin. Chris points to him, then to the losers' section. He mopes away, and gets hit by a mustard-filled water balloon. He begins to lick the mustard off his body.
Amanda is playing a steady beat on her drum set. She's doing well, until Sharissa throws one of Alex's maracas at her head, making Amanda faint. Chris says, "Amanda, time for you to go to the losers' section."
Amanda walks towards the losers' section and sits next to Devin. Devin says, "Wassup, shawty?" Amanda glares at him, and soon gets pelted in the face by a mustard-balloon.
Devin says, "Can I lick that, yo?"
"Eww, no." says Amanda, who moves away from Devin.
The symphony continues on, and more and more people are put in the losers' section. Eventually, the last 3 remaining people are Gary, Carson and Meg.
Meg has on her earmuffs, and is calmly playing her electric guitar. "Wow, these earmuffs really help." she says. "I can't hear a thing."
Carson keeps playing. "Oh yeeeeah?" he says snidely.
"Yeah!" screams Meg.
"Oh yeeeeah?" says Carson again.
"YEAHHHH!" shrieks Meg, who plays loudly on her guitar. But her guitar's strings break, and Chris says, "Sorry, Meg, but I have to do this." He throws a balloon at Meg, who runs away and dodges it.
Carson says to Gary, "Dude, our plan is working. Now, one of us gets invincibility no matter what, and the Bling Brothas can vote out another chick tonight."
Gary says, with the tuba still stuck to him, "KK." He finally manages to get the tuba off of his head, and plays it so loud that it knocks down Carson.
A mustard balloon hits Carson on the head. "Good job, dude." Carson and Gary fist-bump.
Chris says, "And with that, Gary wins invincibility! Meet me at the Main Lobby at 9:00 PM on the dot, there's gonna be an elimination tonight!"
In the dorms, the boys are playing poker while Alex is lying on his bed. Devin yells, "Aw yah, homies! Royal flush!"
Carson says, "All right, guys. After tonight, it's gonna be the final 6, unless Chris decides to pull another return on us. So we need strategy, about who to pick off. Should it be Alex?" Carson looks at Alex, who's sound asleep.
Gary says, "Nope. Sharissa would go berserk and pick us off 1-by-1. So, our best chance is Amanda, because she's an idiot."
Carson shakes his head. "You can't make me do that."
Confessional (Gary): Why not? This is, like, the only time Amanda doesn't have invincibility!
Confessional (Carson) I still have a chance of a relationship with her.
Confessional (Gary): I'm sorta scared of her. So I'm voting her off, I don't care what Carson says.
In the girls' cabin, Sharissa says to Meg, "Carson's a real threat."
Meg says, "Well, okay. I have to agree with you there."
Sharissa says, "He's like Owen, without the gas and weight. Dude's always all happy and stuff."
Meg says, "But earlier, I heard him, Devin and Gary talking about some sort of alliance, so even if we tried, they'd still overpower us. They've probably got Alex in on it, too."
Sharissa gets a mad expression on her face. "They wouldn't."
Meg says, "Um, yeah. But let's focus. They all don't like Amanda, so maybe we could vote her out... or maybe Devin... Whatever. I'm going to bed."
Sharissa says, "Wait! We haven't even--" She looks at Meg, who's getting into bed. "What are you, a new Alex?"
Meg yawns. "Sure, whatev."
Chris says, at the Main Lobby, "All right, friends. It's time for yet another elimination. Aren't you so excited?"
Amanda replies, "No."
Gary says, "Yeah, 'cuz I have invincibility, and that tuba isn't on me anymore."
Chris says, "All right. I just want everyone to get eliminated tonight, because I miss that figure-skating show. But, all right. Gary, you get the first A+ because you're safe, blah blah, Meg, here's your A+... where's Meg?"
Sharissa says, "She's asleep. I'll take her A+."
Chris replies, "All right, so that means you get two A+'s, because you're also safe." Sharissa shrugs. "Next up, Carson is also safe... blah blah..."
Carson says, "Will you cut down on the 'blah blahs' and get to the elimination already?"
"Would you like me to revoke your A+ privileges?" says Chris. Carson shakes his head. Chris continues, "Amanda is also safe." Amanda smiles, and Meg and Sharissa groan.
"Hey, guess what, boys?" Chris says.
Alex and Devin say boredly, "What?"
Chris replies, "One of you is eliminated tonight. And the person who's not getting eliminated and can stay another round is..."
"...Alex, bro. Get your prize."
Alex says, "Meh." Sharissa throws him his prize, then everyone stares at Devin.
"What the SHIZZLE, yo! You homies... an' I thou't ya foos' wer' gon' be fly to me, yo. Ahh, guess I was wrong, I wish best o' luck to the Bling Brothas, yo. You homies be coo', all right?" says Devin.
Carson and Gary reply, "All right. We'll miss you, bro."
Devin says, "Me too, G. See ya late'. I hope one of you wins, yo. WORD!" Devin skips onto the School Bus of Losers. "An' one more thing, yo..." Devin's pants fall down one more time. He gives a thumbs-up and says, "Bye, Schooly pals."
Chris says, "All right! So we're finally rid of that little gangsta-wannabe! Who's going to win? Who's going to fail? Who's going to get mauled by Chef? Tune in next time to see on Total... Drama... Schooool! Oh, yeah. Now I get to watch my figure-skating show!"
Chapter 11- "Recess Mess"
Amanda, Meg and Sharissa are hanging out in their dorm.
Meg says to Sharissa, "So, we're the final 6, huh?"
Confessional (Sharissa): Oh my gosh! AAAIIIEEE! The final 6! I can't believe I made it to the final 6! Well, actually, I technically didn't. I got eliminated, like, 3rd, and then Chris wanted me to return. At least I have Meggie and that crazy little bum, Alex.
Amanda sees Carson, Alex and Gary walking in and plopping their stuff down onto the empty beds. She says, "What are you doing here?"
"Chris said we had to move all our crap into this room." replies Carson happily. "This is where we're staying, I guess, until the end of the contest."
Confessional (Amanda): Well, already nobody likes me, and now I have to share a dorm with some stupid little boys? My luck is worsening and worsening.
Confessional (Gary): YES! Girls!
Chris then randomly walks into the room. "Hey guys, do you know what time it is?"
Alex opens his mouth to say something.
"No, it's not Adventure Time." interrupts Chris. "It's time for today's challenge."
Confessional (Meg): How did I know?
Chris continues. "Today's challenge is going to be completely random. I have a large booth. One person will step in, and get pelted with tennis balls. When that person picks up a tennis ball, they'll come out and read it out loud. It'll have part of a challenge on it. Then, we'll keep doing that until we get something close to a challenge."
"Isn't this..." says Alex.
"Yes, it's the same thing as the finale in Total Drama World Tour." says Chris. "All right, Alex, thanks for volunteering." He pushes Alex into the booth.
Chef comes up and pushes a lever. Golf balls start raining down.
"Aaugh! Eeh! Uuh! Ouch! Owieeeeh!" says Alex, then finally grabs one and falls out.
Alex hands Chris the ball. It says, "While on the playground..."
Chris giggles, "Oooh, fun! A playground challenge! Those are always... interesting. Meg, you're up."
Meg goes in and grabs another ball that was on the ground, without getting hit at all. She then walks out and reads her ball. "Dress up in humiliating costumes..." she says. "Wow. This'll be a blast."
Chris replies, "It's getting better and better... Gary, go next."
Gary goes in. Chef pulls the lever that reads: "FULLY CHARGED" and a storm of golf balls rain down on Gary. He comes out with about 10 golf balls in his shirt.
"Chris, you'll pay." He then reads his ball. "...While being chased by an angry Chef with a chainsaw." Gary gulps.
Chris says, "Sounds fun." He snaps his fingers, and an intern comes in with a huge tub of costumes. "You're up first, Gary."
Gary reaches into the tub of costumes and pulls out a Yoda costume. "Aw, yay!" says Gary. "I love this movie!" He puts on the hat and robe.
Amanda says, "That movie is for nerds. Oh, wait. You're a nerd. Never mind." She laughs at her own joke.
Meg comes up, grabs an extremely tight cat suit and cat ears, and walks away.
Amanda says, "Wow, Meg. That actually makes you look pretty."
Meg gives Amanda a dirty look.
Next, Alex finds a very small hoodie and skinny-jeans. Chris says, "Ah, Alex! Looks like you fould Ezekiel's outfit from Total Drama Island! It's the real deal!"
Alex makes a sick face and drops the clothes.
Chris says, "Uh, uh, uh! You can only pick once."
Alex mopes away, and Amanda says to him, "Ha ha!"
Next up, Carson gets an outfit reminiscent of a rapper's style, it's a do-rag, saggy jeans, and a shirt that says "Rappa King."
Carson looks at the pants and says, "What is this, something from Devin's wardrobe?"
Chris says, "Actually, it is. He dropped it after his first elimination. You guys remember Devin, right?"
Amanda nods. "How could we ever forget?"
Chris says, "I know, right! Next up is Sharissa."
Sharissa pulls out an afro wig, a mad scientist lab coat, and a Groucho Marx disguise. "YeEEEEeeeEEEEah!" she shrieks.
Amanda says, "Take a chill pill. Idiot."
Chris says, "Amanda, you're badmouthing everyone else, let's see what you get!"
Amanda grumbles and walks towards the tub. She looks at a bikini and is about to pick it up, when Chris hands her a blindfold.
Amanda says, "What is this?"
Chris chuckles. "Just put it on so you get something really humiliating."
Amanda puts it on, "I'm doing this against my will," and grabs some things. She gets a fake handlebar mustache, a king's crown, a pink wig, short-shorts, and an XXXXL shirt that says "Love Goddess."
Amanda says, "Why do I have the most humiliating thing of all?"
Chris chuckles. "We like to make the antagonist have a hard time. Aaaand... Chef?"
Chef comes out of nowhere and holds up a chainsaw.
Gary says, "What happens if one of us gets... you know, mauled by Chef?"
"Well..." says Chris. "Let's cross that bridge when we get to it. Okay, are you guys ready?"
Alex says, "Nope."
Chris says, "All right, are you guys... besides Alex... ready?"
Meg says, "Wait a sec. How do we win this challenge?"
Chris says, "When Chef gets you with his chainsaw, you're out and you have to sit on the sidelines. Be the last one standing and you win invincibility. Are you happy now?"
Meg says, "Sure. Do we get a head start?"
Chris gets mad. "All right, all right, all right! Gosh! On the count of--"
All the students ignore Chris and take off sprinting around the playground.
Carson sees Gary climbing up a large structure and hiding in a long tube slide. He walks towards him and says, "Hey, man."
Gary responds, "Hey."
Carson says, "Why so upset, dude?"
Gary replies, "Well, first, our alliance isn't really an alliance anymore. Second, girl troubles."
Carson says, "Ol' Megan's got you down, huh?"
Gary says, "Yeah. I think she's... how do I put this, hot, but she has no interest in me."
Carson says, "You just have to be cool. Like that over nine-thousand thing? That's not cool. That's nerdy."
Gary says, "But that's the kind of stuff I like!"
Carson says, "Maybe you should try comedy. I'm the most popular kid in my grade just 'cause I'm funny."
Gary says, "Do I look like the comedic type?"
Carson says, "True. How 'bout... fashion. Man, that shirt is crappy."
Gary says, "It's my favorite one! I got it when I was, like, two!"
Carson says, "And it still fits you?"
Confessional (Gary): ...It's sad but true.
Carson says, "Here. Let's see what I have for you." He takes out his backpack and starts searching around.
Gary says, "This doesn't sound good."
Carson says, "Let's see, disguise, long pink dress, blond wig, whoopee cushion, old sandwich, bag of chips, kindergarten yearbook, picture of this hot girl I liked in 5th grade... A-ha! Check this out!" He pulls out a shirt that says "AIG" and gym shorts.
Gary points to "AIG" says, "Dude, I don't even know what that means."
Carson says, "I think it has something to do with Americans."
Gary says, "All right. But aren't we supposed to keep our costumes on?"
Carson says, "Who cares?"
Gary says, "I'm going to ask Chris."
Carson begins to yell, "Wait! Noooo!" but Gary is starting down the slide.
Gary continues down the slide and looks out. He sees Chef lying in wait at the exit. Chef grins evilly and a horrified Gary sprints back up to Carson.
"No luck." says Gary.
Carson says, "All right. Chef probably can't even fit through the entrance in the slide, so we're safe for now."
A voice says, "Are you sure about that?"
Chef is right behind the boys. He holds up his chainsaw and smiles.
"How long have you been there?" says Gary.
Carson screams like a very small child and runs out of the slide.
Gary says, "Here. Get me."
Chef says, "Actually, since you want me to... I'll pass." and walks away.
Gary says, "Wait, Chef! Wha-- never mind."
Meanwhile, outside, Sharissa is stalking about. "Where the fudgeballs is Alex?" she says, and trips over a large mound of grass.
"Hmm..." she says. "Hmmmmmm." and rips the grass off the mound. It's actually Alex, who shrieks at Sharissa. Sharissa puts the grass back on and runs away. She then spots Meg.
"Meggie!" she says and runs over to Meg.
Meg says, "Hey, Sharissa. What's up?"
Sharissa says, "Just trying to win this dumb ol' challenge."
Meg says, "Here. Let's go to the swings and talk."
Sharissa shrugs. "All right."
They sit down on the swings. Meg says, "Think you can win?"
Sharissa says, "Probably not."
Meg says, "You don't really have much competition."
Sharissa says, "Actually, I do. Carson. Everyone likes him, and he's so freakin' funny. Remember when I said he's just like Owen without the gas and body fat?"
Meg says, "Yeah. But we can easily dispose of him tonight."
Sharissa says, "Sounds good, but I also really hate Gary. He's really annoying. And did you know he has a crush on you?"
Meg says, "Yes. I did know that." and rolls her eyes.
Sharissa says, "And do you like him?"
Meg wrinkles up her face. "Eww, no."
Sharissa says, "All right. We've got our eyes on Carson and Gary. Also, what about Amanda?"
Meg says, "She'll probably have invincibility tonight, again."
Sharissa says, "Yeah, that's true."
Meg says, "This challenge is so boring."
Chef pops up and says, "Want to make it less boring?"
Meg says, "Wait a sec, who--" She turns around and screams. Chef touches her with his (rubber) chainsaw and drags her by her cat tail to the sidelines.
Sharissa runs away. Meg says from the sidelines, "Good luck!"
Sharissa keeps running and bumps into Amanda. "Ow!" they both say.
Amanda says angrily, "Watch it! Creep."
Sharissa says, "Creep? ME? You're one to talk, little girl."
Amanda says, "Just because you're as tall as... whatever, doesn't mean you have the right to call me little girl."
Sharissa picks up Amanda and says, "Hey, Chef! Come and get her!"
Chef, who's playing a video game, says, "Comin'!" and runs over to the girls. He touches both of them with his rubber chainsaw and chucks them towards the sidelines.
Sharissa says, "So much for that plan."
"Sharissa, you could've gotten me killed." snaps Amanda.
Sharissa says, "Who cares?"
Elsewhere, Carson says to Gary, "Looks like we're the only people left."
Gary says, "Good. One of us will win invincibility, and the other will help him vote out a girl."
Carson says, "Which girl?"
Gary says, "Amanda. She's in the sidelines. So that means that we can vote her out."
Carson says nervously, "Yeeeeah, I don't know about that..."
Gary says, "Dude, if you like her, then why don't you just ask her out already!"
Carson says, "Aw, just shut up! You're one to talk! You have this huge crush on Meg and you can't even do anything about it!"
Gary says, "Really?"
Carson says, "Well, at least I'm popular."
Gary gasps. "Oh, no way! You did not just say that!" He kicks Carson in the kiwis.
Carson says, "Ow, dude!"
Gary thinks for a moment then collapses onto the ground.
Carson says, "Gary?"
Gary groggily gets up and says, "Hey, man. Thanks. What jus' happened?"
Carson says, "You kicked me in the kiwis."
Gary says, "I... well... Sorry, dude."
Carson says, "It's OK, man."
Gary says, "That was stressful! This competition is getting to us! It's tearing us apart! We have to do something!"
Carson says, "You're right. HEY CHEFFY!"
Chef comes over and says, "Fresh meat. Excellent." and taps both of them with his rubber chainsaw.
Gary says, "Wait. You got all of us. Does that mean nobody won?"
Chef says, "Well... Amanda, Sharissa, Gary, Carson, Meg... where's Alex?"
Sharissa says, "Alex! That little twerp! I left him sleeping in the grass way over there! I guess nobody noticed him and he just won!"
Chef says, "Crap." and runs off to find Alex.
He comes back with a seemingly dead Alex hanging from his arms. "Got him." he says. "Kid, you have invincibility. So you can't get voted out. Everyone else..." He lowers his eyebrows. "It's fair game."
Carson walks with Gary to the dorm. Carson says, "Hey Gary, what's the plan, Stan?"
Gary says, "My name isn't Stan. It's Gary, short for Garrison."
Carson says, "Garrison?"
Confessional (Carson): Wow. Garrison? I can do so much with that!
Carson says, "Don't worry, bro. I won't tell anyone."
Gary says, "Good cheese."
'Confessional '(Meg): (blowing into a paper bag) Oh, man. I'm anxious. I don't want to get voted out tonight. And I'm voting Amanda, but I think I'm the only one doing so. Man, I'm scared.
Confessional (Amanda): If I get eliminated tonight, I'm not surprised.
Confessional (Alex): And now you know why sleeping is useful. Dude, I won a whole challenge just by sleeping! Glad I'm in the final 5.
Confessional (Sharissa): That little SACK! So I hide him with grass, and how does he repay me? NOTHING! Uuurgh!
Confessional (Gary): I wonder who's gonna be eliminated tonight. It better not be me.
Confessional (Carson): I'm votin' Meg. I don't care what Gary says. She's too popular... and nice... and... D'oh!
Chris says at the Main Lobby, "Another day, another elimination. Who's going to be out tonight? It's not Alex, for sure." He tosses Alex an A+.
Alex says, "Good."
Chris says, "Aaaaaand... Car-son."
Carson says, "Good luck, Gary bro."
Chris says slowly, "Sharis-sa."
Sharissa chortles, "Woooopeeee!"
Chris says, "And... Aman-da."
Amanda groans, "Will you quit saying everyone's names like that?"
Chris says, "Nope. Now, the final A+ is either for Meg or Gary. And, the final A+ goes to..."
Meg says, "Me? Dude, you guys voted for me?"
Gary says, "Wait! Stop!"
Carson gasps. "Dude, don't do it!"
Gary says, "Guys, Meg deserves this last A+ way more than me. I'm going to quit so Meg can have a better chance at winning."
Carson says, teary-eyed, "Dude, no!"
Gary says, "Carson, I think either you or Meg can do this. I believe in you guys!"
Meg says, "Gee thanks Gary, that was really cool of you."
Gary says, "Yep."
Meg gives Gary a high-5. "See you, dude." she says, "Thanks again."
Gary says, "See you later, TDS! Meg, kick Amanda's %@$! You too, Cars'!"
Everyone waves goodbye to Gary.
Before the School Bus of Losers drives away, Gary says, "And one last thing... Over 9000!!!"
Everyone laughs except Amanda.
Chris says, "All right then! I really thought Gary would stay! But who knows! Dude'll do anything to impress his dream girl!"
Meg says, "What now?"
Chris continues, "Who will be eliminated next in the final 5? Will it be the cute jock girl, the lazy blob, the deranged psychopath, the cool comedian, or the heartless snob?"
Amanda says, "I have a heart!"
Chris says, "All right. The almost-heartless snob. Find out next time on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 12- "The 1st Annual TDS Quiz Bowl, and the Longest Chapter Title Ever!"
Chris steps out from behind the school. "Hey, viewers." he whispers. "Today is... sort of a special episode. Last time, we had a crazy challenge involving idiotic costumes, an infuriated Chef, and some alliances. In the end, Meg was supposed to be eliminated, but Gary took her place, making the Bling Brothas the Bling Brotha. It's the final 5 now, and we've got a special treat for you. INTERN!"
An intern comes up to Chris. "What?" says the intern timidly.
"I want you to get... them, pile them into the bus, and come back." says Chris.
"Roger." squeaks the intern.
Chris says, "All right. That intern should be back any minute now. I'm going to go to the bathroom."
Much later, Chris says, "Ah, here they are now!"
The School Bus of Losers drives up to Chris, and the intern slowly walks out of it.
"That place is a madhouse." he mutters.
"Yeah," says Chris, "I know. Now, in this bus are the seven sorry losers who didn't make it to the final 5. Let's meet them again. Ricky's up first."
Ricky strolls out of the bus, trips, and falls face-first onto the ground. "Hey, buddy." he grumbles to Chris. "Mind helpin' me up?"
Chris says, "Sure thing." He helps Ricky up. "So, how did you like being voted out first?"
"Don't care." says Ricky. "I sorta learned that I should be a bit more healthy, active and clean. Smell my pits."
A disgusted Chris says, "What?"
"Just do it." says Ricky.
Chris reluctantly smells Ricky's underarms. "Whoa," he says, "They smell like baby powder!"
"Yeah," says Ricky. "I've been puttin' on deodorant."
Chris says, "All right, cool. Now head into the Auditorium. Next up is Emilee, who was voted out second, thanks to Devin and Sharissa returning, and is quite possibly the most normal girl on the face of the planet."
Emilee walks off the bus. "Hello, Chris." she says. "How's it going?"
Chris says, "I can't really have any interesting conversations with you. Emilee, go inside."
Emilee pouts and walks away.
Chris says, "Next was Kurt, who was voted out thanks to Amanda's scheming."
Kurt comes out of the bus. "'Sup, dude?" he says, and gives Chris a fist-bump.
Chris says, "So, Kurt. What did you think about Amanda getting Veronica to vote you off instead of Carson, who could very well win?"
Kurt says, "I was pretty pissed, but at least my bro is still in. He can win it for us, man."
Chris says, "That's good to know. Go inside."
Kurt walks inside, while Chris says, "Up next is Helga, who was voted out because of her obsession with books, and the fact that she was extremely stubborn during a challenge."
Helga comes out reading a book. "Hi," she says, and walks inside.
Chris says, "See what I mean? Please welcome Veronica, who was manipulated by Amanda for the whole game and only realized Amanda was evil right after she was eliminated. Ha-ha. Tha's why I love this show."
Veronica comes out and says, "I'm going to kill Amanda..."
Chef comes out and checks Veronica's pockets for sharp items. He says, "All good. You can go in, little girl." and Veronica evilly walks in.
Chris says, "Aw, crap. Next is Devin."
He takes out some earplugs, but before he can fully put them on, a voice shrieks, "Yo, yo, yo, mah home dawg! Dev-Dev's in th' house, word! And I's gon' win this competish!"
Chris says, "You're not back in the game. You're just going to ask the final 5 questions."
Devin says, "No way, dawg! I'm in it to win it, an' this time I's gon' defeat ev'ryone, shizzle!"
Chris grits his teeth. "Just... get... inside..."
Devin says, "All righ', all righ'."
Chris says, "And finally, the most recent eliminated contestant, everyone's favorite little nerd, Gary."
Gary comes out of the bus. He waves and says, "Over 9000!"
Chris says, "Glad you're back to your old tricks. Now get inside, we have to start the challenge!"
Gary says, "Can't I at least say--"
Chris interrupts him. "Nope."
Inside, Chris says, "Today's challenge took me a pretty long time to come up with, but I assure you, it's going to be a good one. I call this the 1st Annual Total Drama School Quiz Bowl! The final 5 contestants will be answering questions asked by none other than the eliminated students! The questions can be about Total Drama School, like naming people, telling who was eliminated in an episode, that kind of stuff, and they can also be about school subjects! Hooray for educational-ness!"
"And if you get an answer wrong," Chris continues, "you'll be... well, let's let the final 5 look."
Meg looks down. "Is that a dunk tank?"
Chris replies, "Yes, it is! If you get an answer wrong, the floor under you will open, and you'll plummet into a dunk tank! You'll be sopping wet, for one, and also, you'll lose your chance at invincibility and possibly get eliminated! The last one standing wins! All right. Ricky, you can ask the first question, since you were eliminated first."
Ricky clears his throat. "Um... Who was the first president? This one is for the kid with the weird hair."
Carson says, "I'm guessing you mean me. All right. Who was the first president anyways? Um, let's see, I know the second one was John something-or-other, but the first one..."
Chris is unimpressed. "You learned about this in, like, second grade."
Carson says, "I never payed attention in class. Well, anyways, the first president was... how many guesses can I have?"
Chris says, "How 'bout just one."
Carson says, "Fine then. I'm going to say... William Henry Harrison."
Chris says, "Nice try. He was actually the ninth president, who died in a month because he refused to wear a coat during his inauguration speech. The correct answer was George Washington."
"Oh, yeah! I remember that guy." says Carson. "So what's going to-- AAAAH!" He falls into the dunk tank.
Chris says, "That's why this show is so amazing. Emilee, you can ask next."
"For Sharissa," says Emilee, "What is two plus two?"
Sharissa scoffs. "That's easy. Five."
Time passes, and finally Gary shouts from the audience, "It's actually four."
Chris says, "Gary, you need to get some brains. It's five. Here, I'll show you." He pulls out a calculator, types in "2+2" and it says five. "Sharissa's still in." he says.
Gary says, "WHAT?!?"
Chris says, "Deal with it. Kurt, you're up next."
Kurt says, "To Meg. Maybe this will impress her, my spectacular knowledge of everything sport-related. Who won the 2003 World Series?"
Before he even finishes, Meg says, "Florida Marlins."
Kurt says sadly, "Correct."
Devin nudges him and says, "You ain't gon' get dat chick, bro. Jus' stop tryin'."
Kurt says to Devin, "Shut up."
Devin says, "Fine, bro."
Chris says, "All right, the next ex-student who can ask a question is Helga."
Helga says, "This question is for Alex, because he probably won't be able to answer it correctly. Tee-hee."
Alex says, "Bring it on, nerd."
"Let's see." says Helga. "Who was second voted out in TDS?"
Alex says, "Too easy. Emilee."
"Nope," says Helga.
Alex says, "Wait, what? It was Emilee, wasn't it?"
Helga says, "Hee-hee. Nope. It was a trick question. Devin got voted out second, but then returned. Emilee was voted out fourth, because I'm counting Devin and Sharissa. Chris, let the dunk begin!"
Alex says, "Hey, that's unfa---" and flies into the tank.
Chris says, "As of now, Alex and Carson are out, and cannot win invincibility!"
Carson and Alex begin to grumble.
Chris says, "Veronica, your turn."
Veronica says evilly, "This is for Amanda. Why are you such a @#$%?"
Everyone gasps. Amanda says, "Well, I have... anger problems? I have difficulty controlling my emotions."
Chris says, "Good job."
"Wow," says Veronica, "That's not the answer I was looking for."
Chris says, "Well, she's still in, it seems like, so now, Devin can ask a question."
Everyone groans. "All righ'," says Devin, "I gots a question fo' dat shawty over dere." He points to Meg.
Meg snaps, "What?"
"Well," says Devin, "Ya haf'ta answer dis joke correctly, yo."
Meg says, "I'm good at jokes. Bring it on."
"Why did th' chicken cross th' road, yo?" says Devin.
Meg says, "To get to the other side."
Devin says, "Wrong, yo! Ha ha! It's actually 'cuz he felt like it', word!"
"Chris," Meg says, "You know I was right. So can you please not dunk me?"
"Sorry," says Chris. He pulls the lever, and Meg drops into the water. "All right, that means it's down to Amanda and Sharissa. Gary, you're in charge of the tie breaker. Whoever answers this first wins invincibility, unless it's wrong. Then, the other person wins invincibility."
Gary says, "Oh, goody! All right... What would be a good thing to ask... Oh! I got it! Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?"
Amanda says, "Hang on... I remember this. It's that annoying thing he always said..." She looks at Gary's shirt, but it has duct tape covering the words. "D'AWWWW!" she screams.
Sharissa says, "That little twerp... I can't let her win..." She then says, "Ov--" but before she can finish, Amanda tackles her.
Chris says, "Order in the court!" and looks at the two girls violently beating each other up.
Sharissa rips off Amanda's shirt, exposing her bra, and screams like a maniac. She throws Amanda's shirt at Ricky, who falls onto the dueling girls.
Chris says, "Quiet! QUIET!" but the girls don't even hear him.
Amanda picks up Sharissa and rams her into the wall, breaking the wall and sending everyone else flying.
Chris blows a whistle. "Stop!"
Amanda and Sharissa look at him. "So, who won?" asks Amanda.
Chris says, "Let's see..." He closes his eyes and spins around. Once he stops, he's pointing to Amanda. "You won," he says to Amanda.
Alex and Meg begin to curse under their breath. "Chris, that's so unfair!" says Meg.
Chris says, "In the event of a tie, that is what must be done. Now, you guys can vote someone off. Besides Amanda."
Confessional (Amanda): This game is mine. Invincibility, again! Man, Chris, I love you. Now, about the voting. It looks like today might be Meg's last day. Bye-bye, freak of nature.
Confessional (Alex): I'm not even really in this competition anymore. I'm just going to hide in the background. I wonder if I can win this whole thing just by being a lazy butt and sleeping. At least I've got Sharissa, who's almost like my human shield. I hope she doesn't get the boot tonight.
'Confessional ('Carson): Crap, man. I think I'm gonna go home tonight. I like Amanda, but she doesn't like me. That's 1 vote. Sharissa will probably vote for me too, considering that she loves Meg and Alex and Amanda has invincibility. That's 2. Alex will probably vote, like, Meg or something, so he's fine. And Meg will try and vote Alex too. So only 2 votes against me, so I hope I'm safe. I wish my Brothas were still here.
Confessional (Sharissa): That fight made my heart beat faaaast! Ripping off Amanda's shirt was the best part! I mean, I'm still really peeved that Amanda won invincibility and not me, but who cares? It's not like anyone here hates me, except Amanda. But I think I'm safe for the night.
Confessional (Meg): I know everyone else seems all chillaxed, but, to tell you the truth, I'm actually extremely worried. I hope I don't get the boot tonight. Amanda will do anything just to get rid of me, and Alex hates me too. Aw, nuts.
At the Main Lobby, Chris says, "Tonight's gonna be a good night, I gotta feeling."
Carson says, "We're all sweating our heads off here. Just get to it."
Chris says, "Dude, will you relax? Anyways, Amanda won invincibility, so she is safe. Also safe is Alex B. Hey, that's a good name for a rapper, you know."
Alex mutters, "I prefer Alex, but whatever. At least I'm not eliminated."
Chris continues, "Sharissa is also safe, I don't know how, but she is. Get up here." Sharissa gets her reward. "And the final A+ of the night goes to..."
"Wait a minute, why did 4 of you vote for Amanda? She has invincibility!"
Confessional (Sharissa): I just couldn't help myself. It's just really fun. I mean, I know Amanda's never going to get eliminated because she's the bad person, and she'll probably grab first place, but it's just really fun doing it!
Chris continues, "Guys, stop being so lame. You know Amanda has invincibility, so go back into the confessional and re-vote. I'm not leaving until someone other than Amanda is eliminated."
Confessional (Meg): Bye-bye, Alex B.
Confessional (Sharissa): I don't care what Chris says, I'm still voting Amanda.
Confessional (Alex): Meg has my vote.
Confessional (Amanda): My theory that nobody here likes me is further proven.
Confessional (Carson): Man, that was priceless. I should just say, "Bye-bye, Amanda!" and push her into the Bus, but then again, that would get me in trouble.
Chris says, "All right. I'll read the votes, because I don't have enough A+'s left. Let's see... 0 votes for Sharissa and Carson, both of you are safe. 1 vote for Amanda. Wait a second, I said no voting for Amanda!"
Sharissa giggles. "Sorry, Chris. I just can't help it!"
Chris says, "All right.Wow, there's 3 votes for somebody here. It's one of you two."
Meg and Alex stare at each other.
"The person with 3 votes against them is..."
"...Meg. And this time, NOBODY can take her place."
Meg says, "All right, guys. It was fun." She walks over to Sharissa and Carson and hugs them.
Amanda giggles, "Bye-bye, turdy."
Meg says, "Amanda, why don't you just @#$&^*%?!"
Amanda says, "Sorry. My role is the antagonist, so I'm supposed to... antagonize people?"
Meg says, "Bye, TDS. I thought I could win, but whatever. There's always another season." She takes off running into the distance.
Chris shouts, "Wait, aren't you supposed to take the School Bus of Losers?"
Meg shouts from the distance, "Nah, I'm good!" and sprints away.
Chris says, "What good is a school bus if nobody's going to use it? Well, anyways, looks like we have our final four! Who will get eliminated next? Find out on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 13- "Trapped in the Forest!"
Chris introduces the episode. "Last time on Total... Drama... School, the remaining five students competed in a quiz bowl, getting thrusted into a dunk tank if they didn't answer a question right. We also saw the eliminated students, catching up on their lives since they were brutally booted out. In the end, Meg was voted out, because of Amanda's pure evil-ness. Today's challenge will be a little bit different. CHEF!"
Chef Hatchet comes out of nowhere. "What," he says, "Want me to take 'em to the forest?"
"Yessiree," says Chris, "As fast as possible."
Chef shrugs and walks away.
Confessional (Carson): Yeah, man! I made it to the final four! Now, the only thing that could possibly go wrong is me losing some challenge and automatically getting voted off... but that can't happen. Can it?
Footsteps are heard leading towards the confessional. Back in the confessional, Carson says nervously, "What's that--" but before he can finish, Chef comes in, grabs Carson, and stuffs him into a large sack.
Inside the sack, Carson says, "Hey, man! Get me out of here! I'm claustrophobic!" and starts kicking and screaming. Chef ignores him and keeps walking. He finally gets to the forest surrounding the school, and chucks the sack (with Carson still in it) into the depths of the forest.
Carson flies for a while, screaming and shouting, and then lands. "Oof!" he says. "Dude, where am I?" He picks up some sand. "There's sand in a forest? And it's pink? What kind of glitched-up place is this? Well, whatever it is, I'm tired." He yawns. "I'm gonna take a nap." He falls asleep in the sand.
A large purple and green bear comes out of the bushes and growls. The bear picks up a very long stick and starts poking Carson with it. Carson turns around, and the mutant bear grunts. Carson yawns, and while he is yawning, the bear stuffs some berries into his mouth. "PTOO!" Carson wakes up, spits out the berries, barfs on the berries, sees the bear, and screams his head off. The bear, evidently scared, jogs away back into the forest.
"Whew," says Carson. "That was a little bit screwy. Seriously, though. What the crap is this place?" He looks around. He then hears some rustling in the bushes. "Aw, man. If it's another one of those bears again, I'm screwed." He buries himself in the sand and peeks out. "Good." he says. "It's just Sharissa."
Sharissa walks out of the bushes. "Alex? Aleeex?" she yodels. "A-a-a-alex?" She begins to get mad. "Bieber!" she shrieks. "Where the fudgeballs are you? I need to give you back your pills. You left them in the dunk tank yesterday. Now, where are you? If you don't come out in 36 seconds, I'm going to punch you in the kiwis again. You know how much that hurts, right? I mean, I punched you in the kiwis about a week ago, but you were asleep, so you couldn't feel it. Now come out before I--"
"ENOUGH!" says someone. Sharissa looks around. "Alex?" she says again. "That doesn't sound like you."
"It's not!" Carson comes out of his sand-hole, breathing heavily. "Stop talking! Dude, I'm trying to sleep!"
Sharissa says, "Oh, there you are, Cars! Great to see ya. I was looking for Alex's pi--"
"I heard the whole thing," grumbles Carson, "and I don't need to hear it again."
Sharissa says, "All right. Now, why are we in the forest, where's Chris, and when's the challenge?"
Carson says, "Man, I don't know. I mean, I was in the confession-thingy, sayin' stuff, then Chef came in and stuffed me into a sack. Then this purple and green bear poked me with a stick and I got these nasty berries stuck in my mouth. And then I heard your rant about Alex, and now I'm here, talking to a psycho."
"Yeah," says Sharissa, "Well, I was captured and put into a sack too, but it was by some fat intern guy, and he did it when I was taking a--"
"TMI." says Carson.
"Sorry about that," says Sharissa, "And then the fat dude took me into the forest, and this big vulture picked me up and tried to feed me to its kids, but I escaped and killed it, and found Alex' pills."
Carson says, "That's screwy. My bear was screwy. This whole place is screwy! Let's just go back to school."
Sharissa says, "I tried. But this place is like a maze."
Carson says, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Hey! What's that?" He points to a large bag. "Looks like some sort of tent."
"Well, maybe we should set it up." says Sharissa, and she takes the stuff out of the bag.
Inside the bag is a large can of beans, a tent, and a compass. "What's all this crap?" says Sharissa.
Carson says, "Hey, this isn't crap." He picks up the can of beans. "Well, this is, but not the tent and the compass. You should set the tent--" He looks over at Sharissa, who's already in the tent.
"Got it covered." says Sharissa.
Carson says, "Wow, that only took you, like, 10 seconds. How did you learn this?"
"Well, you mean my survival skills?" says Sharissa.
"Yeah," says Carson, "Who taught them to you?"
Sharissa says happily, "My cousin."
"And that is..." says Carson.
Sharissa grins, "Izzy!"
Carson says, "That really explains a lot. Like you vanishing into a puff of smoke at your elimination, and talking really fast, and being a complete nutcase-- I mean, interesting person."
Sharissa says, "She's a day older than me. She's totally my role model."
Carson says dryly, "Figures. Wait, what's that sound?" Another rustling is heard in the bushes.
"Those bushes rustle a lot." says Sharissa.
"Shh, get down." says Carson.
Amanda comes out of the bushes. Her hair is frizzy and wild, and her clothes are ripped. "All right, who did this to me? And where's the School?" says Amanda angrily. "I'm serious, Chris, if you don't get me out of here right now, I can sue. My cousin's a lawyer! And also--"
Sharissa hits Amanda on the head with the can of beans. Amanda passes out, and Carson and Sharissa crowd towards her.
"Let's get rid of the evidence!" says Carson, and he throws Amanda into the bushes. Her legs still stick out. Carson and Sharissa begin rapidly pushing her legs into the bushes. A soft scream is then heard.
"Wait a sec..." says Sharissa, "I know that voice..."
Alex comes flying out of a tree, and lands on Sharissa. "OH MY GOD!" screams Alex.
Sharissa says, "Calm down, midget!"
Alex says, "Some intern attacked me... I was mauled by a large trout... Chef took my lucky golden dollar... I saw Meg in the forest..."
Sharissa says, "Wow. You sure experienced a lot of-- Wait, did you say MEG?"
Carson says, "Yeah, I think he did. I thought she was eliminated!"
Alex says while breathing heavily, "Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. But I saw her working for Chris... She's like some sort of intern or something..."
Sharissa gasps. "Meggie? An INTERN?"
Carson says, "Somehow, I have trouble picturing that."
Alex says, "And worst of all..." He stops breathing. He looks into Carson's eyes for a moment and then bursts out laughing.
Carson says, "What's so funny, dude?"
Alex says in between hysterical laughter, "Meg... was flirting... with a boy intern..."
"Oh, man." says Carson. "Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man."
"What?" says Sharissa.
"I'm screwed." says Carson.
"How?" asks Alex.
Carson explains, "Gary! Gary likes Meg, and I promised her that I'd set him up with her!"
Sharissa says, "Do you really think Meggie would like Gary?"
Carson says, "It could happen. Not soon, but it could happen..."
Alex says, "So, out of the six boys here: the slob, the jock, the gangsta, Gary, you and me, she'd pick GARY?"
Carson says, "You're right, dude. I knew it wouldn't happen, I just wanted to make Gary happy. He was my best friend here, besides Devin. I just wanted him to help me win."
Alex says, "Don't worry, bro. You have me now. Now, let's get going."
Carson says, "What do you mean?"
Alex says, "Shouldn't we focus on getting back to school?'
Carson says, "OK, that's right. Get on." He hoists Alex onto his back.
Alex says, "Yeah, man. That's the stuff." Carson and Alex walk into the wilderness.
Sharissa says, "Wait! Alex! I forgot to give you your pills! Get back here right now!"
Alex says, "Catch up to us later. We're leavin'." and the two boys fade into the forest.
Sharissa says, "I wonder what these pills even do." She plops a couple into her mouth. Her eyes go all wild, and she begins to dance frantically. Amanda, who has regained consciousness, peeks out of the bushes to see what Sharissa is doing. She sees her, rolls her eyes, and goes back into the bushes.
Carson and Alex come to a brook in the middle of the forest.
"Water. Goody." says Alex, and he topples off of Carson. He grabs a water bottle from Carson's backpack and immediately begins to fill it up with water.
Carson says, "You know, I peed in that water bottle a couple minutes ago? I didn't feel like going in the forest."
Alex spits out the water. "PTOO!"
"Relax, dude," says Carson, "I dumped it out a while ago."
Alex says, "You're so wrong. Should we camp out, or go back to School?"
Carson says, "Maybe we should go back. I mean, what if the challenge is to see who gets back first? It'd be for a good reason."
"OK," says Alex, "But can't we stay here for just one more minute?"
Carson says, "Sixty seconds."
During Alex' sixty seconds, he goes pee, does a couple jumping jacks, dances, and falls asleep.
Once his sixty seconds are over, Carson says, "Alex, time's up."
Alex is asleep.
"Alex?" says Carson. "Stop being a blob. I said only sixty seconds."
Alex ignores him.
Carson gets a bit angry. "Alex, get up, or I'm feeding you to that bear."
Alex doesn't move a muscle.
Carson says, his voice breaking, "You don't want me to feed you to a mutant bear, do you?"
Alex shrugs in his sleep.
Carson says angrily, "Just, just get up!"
Alex snores loudly.
Carson says, "All right, bum." He leaves.
Alex writhes on the ground.
Carson says floatily, 'O-kayyy... whatever you say! I guess I'll just leave you... in the forest with lots of dangerous wild animals... where you could potentially get mauled by a vulture... or even a bear..."
Alex breathes heavily and sits up. "Dang it, I hate it when you say that! Let's go."
Carson dances around and says, "You had your chance... but since you didn't get up when I told you, I'm just gonna leave..."
Carson walks into the forest, and says one more time, "You had your chance..."
Alex grumbles again and starts playing with dirt. "Stupid Carson," he mutters, "waking me up, then talking in that obnoxious voice..."
While Carson is walking in the forest, he says, "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea to abandon Alex. I mean, he's totally lazy and annoying, but he's my only chance of survival... what was that?"
A large animal comes up to Carson and growls.
"Oh, crap," says Carson, "It's a woolly beaver!"
He starts sprinting. The woolly beaver is no match for him. "I'm the fastest runner in my gym class!" says Carson while running. "You just messed with the wrong person!"
The woolly beaver grunts, shrugs, and trots away, into the bushes.
Carson says, "That was close. Hey, I wonder where the school is?" He then peeks through some brush and sees light. "The school!" he says. "Aw, yeah! I'm free! FREEEE!"
Carson skips merrily to the school lobby. "CHRIS!" he says and hugs him.
Chris says, "Chill, Carson. Well, you just won the challenge."
Carson says, "I did? I DID! YEAH!"
Chris says, "Now, do you mind talking in an inside voice?"
Carson whispers, "Oh yeah. Sure."
Chris says, "The other three are still wandering around aimlessly in the forest, so you pretty much get this whole school to yourself."
Right after Chris says that, Sharissa skips in. "What'd I miss?" she says.
"...I take that back." says Chris.
Sharissa says, "What was that crap all about?'
Chris says, "Your challenge was to find your way back to the school. And you're here now. Carson arrived first, so he won."
Sharissa says, "Where's Amanda and Alex?"
Chris says, "Still in the forest. Losers."
Sharissa says, "All right. So... what can we do while we're waiting?'
Chris says, 'Wash the School Bus of Losers. I'm planning to remodel it and use it for this other show I host, and I need it fast."
Carson says, "No way."
Sharissa says, "I'm with him."
Chris says, "Fine, I'll make an intern do it. But I'm still really bored-- Hi, Amanda."
Amanda crawls into the doorway. Her hair is literally an afro, and her clothes are even worse than before. Her makeup is smeared on her face, and her voice is basically a cackle.
"Chris..." she croaks. "I'm so gonna sue... I never want to go into that forest again."
"My, my, my." says Chris. "We need to get you cleaned up. What's the point of a reality show if one of the stars is sickeningly ugly?"
Amanda croaks, "Sh-sh-shut upppp..."
Chris says, "Fine. Intern!" A large African American intern with a hat comes in and picks up Amanda.
"Want me to take her to the bath?" says the intern in a deep, throaty voice.
"Sure thing, B." says Chris. "Now, it looks like everyone's here, except Alex."
Alex walks through the door with large bags under his eyes. "I'm here," he says.
Chris says, "Well..."
"Alex, you arrived last, so that means you're eliminated."
Alex says, "Huh? Why?"
Chris says, "I just said. You arrived last! I never said there was going to be a vote."
Sharissa screams, "ALEEEX! You bum! You shoulda gone with Carson! That way, Amanda would have been eliminated!"
Amanda comes out of the bathroom with a towel around her body and head, and says, "Yeah. But I wasn't. So that leaves poor little Alex to go home tonight. Bye, guys. I'm gonna go to bed."
Alex says, "Dude, this is unfair."
Chris says, "What good is a reality show without an antagonist?"
Alex huffs, "All right, fine. I figured this would happen soon. Well, see ya, guys."
Alex walks to the School Bus of Losers, which is now painted with yellow dogs, swords, and lumpy purple blobs. "Is this for what I think it is for?" says Alex. He gets into the bus, and it screeches away.
Chris says, "The final four is now the final THREE! Who will be eliminated next? And which two lucky kids will advance on to the final two? And what challenge will I make that's somehow related to school? Find out soon enough on... Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Carson says, "The final three! Woo-hoo!"
Chapter 14- "The Final COUNT-Down"
Chris says, "Last time on Total... Drama... School, the remaining four lucky ducks were plopped down into the forest that surrounds the School. Sharissa, like always, was crazy, Amanda was unconscious most of the time, and Carson got back first. In the end, Alex became a victim to his own laziness, getting back last and automatically getting eliminated. Poor kid. I thought he was gonna win. Well, it's down to our final three! Who's going to take the School Bus of Losers, which, by the way, has an awesome new paint job, next? Find out today on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Confessional (Carson): Wow, I'm really stoked. I mean, I can't believe I've made it to the final three. I just hope I don't make some overly optimistic statement and end up getting voted out.
Confessional (Sharissa): Yeah, the final three is sorta cool. It'd be even cooler if cruddy little Alex was around. I sorta have no chance of winning... but who cares? I'm just here for the fun.
Confessional (Amanda): Look. I'm in the final three now. It just goes to show ya, being snobby and rude can go a long way! I think I can win. Well, the remaining two others are freaks. A weird kid who thinks he's funny and cool and has a huge crush on me, and a deranged psychopath who's probably been to juvy more times than Gary has said 'over 9000'.
Confessional (Carson): In TDI, I remember, the final three was pretty similar. Well, Heather is sorta like Amanda, but Amanda's hot, and a better antagonist. Gwen is nothin' like Sharissa, aside from the way she dresses. And me? I've heard some people compare me to Owen. But how? It's not like I'll win or anythin'.
Confessional (Sharissa): This game has been sooooo easy. I hope Chris makes a pretty hard challenge today, I'm getting sick of all this easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy stuff.
Confessional (Amanda): I really don't want to say this, but I think I'm starting to actually like Carson. I don't mean romantic! I just mean, like... a friend. Or probably just an acquaintance. You know, boys and girls can still be friends-- er, acquaintances without dating! Urgh!
Chris, after watching the confessional marathon, yawns and says, "Y'know, I might actually get rid of the confessional next season. Waste of screen time. Anyways, I've got a pretty cool surprise for the lucky three. Let's see what it is when they get over here."
The remaining three students walk over to Chris.
Carson says, "You said a surprise?"
Amanda says, "Do you mean a nice and fun surprise, or a fun for you and near-death for us surprise?"
"Well..." Chris contemplates. "It's a little bit of both."
Chris leads the cast to a golden-plated room. There's cushy, comfy-looking couches and a refrigerator. There's also massage chairs, a plasma TV, a lot of lava lamps, and something that looks a bit like a new confessional.
"Whoa." says everyone.
"You guys have some fun in here for a couple minutes..." says Chris, "And then, in an hour, come to the Gym. We have a pretty fun challenge today. And by fun, I mean dangerous."
The contestants groan.
"See ya later." says Chris. "Meet me at the Gym in ten." He walks away.
"Well, guys," says Carson, "You heard the man. Let's just have some fun in here for a couple minutes..." He yawns and lies on the couch.
"Yeah, whatever." says Amanda. "I'll be in the confessional strategizing."
Confessional (Amanda): I said I'd be strategizing, but I'm really here to get away from those freaks. Wow, this confessional is pretty nice. A gold toilet seat? Diamond-crested walls? A mounted moose head? Actually, that thing is kind of creepy.
Amanda runs out of the confessional screaming.
"What?" says Sharissa. "Ol' Moosy givin' ya the heebie-jeebies?"
"Shut up." says Amanda.
"Aw, cheer up." says Carson. "Want me to massage your back?"
"Nope." says Amanda. She gets out her phone and begins texting.
"What'cha doin'?" says Carson annoyingly.
"Texting. Leave me alone." says Amanda.
"Who ya textin'?" says Carson.
"Your mom." says Amanda. "Now, I guess you didn't hear me the first time." She says this louder. "Leave me alone."
"Wait, your mom's name is 'Heather'?" says Carson.
"No." says Amanda.
"But you said you were tex--"
"I was joking." interrupts Amanda. "Now get, before I tell Chris."
"Chris is on my side." says Carson.
"And why?" says Amanda.
The two begin to bicker. Sharissa gets up from the couch and walks away. "I'm tellin' Chris." she says.
"It's all your fault." says Amanda.
"Oh really?" says Carson seductively. "Well then I must be a bad, bad boy."
"Tell me how," says Amanda lightly.
"Really want me to?" Carson wiggles his eyebrows.
"C'mon." says Amanda.
Carson lunges in, and the two begin to make out. Once they're done kissing for 20 seconds, Amanda coughs and spits.
"What was that for?" says Amanda angrily.
"You were being all seductive 'n' stuff." says Carson. "You wanted me to do that."
"I didn't think!" screeches Amanda. She runs into the confessional to wash her hands.
Confessional (Amanda): Eeeugh! That was nasty! I hate that kid! If you think we're now a couple or whatever, you're so wrong. I will come to your house with a stick and hunt you.
Amanda runs back out of the confessional. Sharissa comes back, and says, "What just happened?"
"Carson tried to make out with me!" says Amanda.
"Oooooh!" says Sharissa embarrassingly.
"Shut up." says Amanda. "I swear, I will kill you"
"So, are you guys like an official couple or something now? Is it like a love-hate relationship? I love those! Like in TDI, Heather and Alejandro! But then Al got turned into a robot, so that sorta wrecked the rest of the relationship." recalls Sharissa.
"For the last time, shut up." growls Amanda.
"Don't you ever get tired of saying that?" asks Sharissa.
"Shut up." continues Amanda.
"You're like a broken record!" argues Sharissa. "If you're gonna tell me to shut up, say 'be quiet' or somethin' a little more polite. Jeez."
"All right. Be quiet." says Amanda.
"Naah, I'm good." says Sharissa.
Amanda huffs away.
Confessional (Sharissa): I can't believe it! Carson and Amanda! They seemed like pure enemies at first. But now they're a cute couple! AIEE! I wonder if Alex likes me. Prob'ly not, considering all the things I do to him.
"So, the official couples now are..." Sharissa counts on her fingers. "Me and Alex, Meg and Gary, and now you two love-turds!"
"Those are some seriously mismatched couples." says Carson. "And I hate Amanda. I just wanted that kiss, but now I've realized that she is a @#$%!"
"Ooh, some tension goin' on then." says Sharissa.
"Are you good at matching things?" says Carson.
"What, like playing cards? I'm the state champion for Concentration." says Sharissa proudly.
"No, ding-dong, I meant, like, people. Can you match people?" says Carson.
"Nope, not really." says Sharissa.
"So, you're no help at all?" says Carson.
"Pretty much." says Sharissa. She waits for a moment. She then starts humming.
"What?" says Carson.
"I know what you should do." says Sharissa.
"What?" says Carson.
"Go up to her, and compliment her. That's th' first step." says Sharissa.
Confessional (Carson): I don't know if Sharissa's the best person to trust.
"Oh, all right." says Carson. He walks up to Amanda.
"What do you want?" says Amanda disgustedly.
"I love your shirt." says Carson.
"Yeah, right." says Amanda. "Now, shoo! Get away from me!"
Carson mopes back to Sharissa, and says, "Didn't work."
"Too bad, Cars." says Sharissa. "Next, you have to compliment her on her hair."
"I tried her shirt, that didn't work. How's saying I like her hair gonna work, especially the fact that I actually hate it! It's like a rat's nest!" says Carson.
"Just do it. Trust me, girls love that kind of thing." says Sharissa.
"Fine. But if it doesn't work, I'm blaming you." says Carson. He walks up to Amanda. "Hey, Amanda?"
"What now?" she says.
"I like your hair today, it looks really... good on you. Hot. That stuff." says Carson.
Amanda blushes. "Thanks!" she says.
Carson runs back over to Sharissa. "You're a genius!" he says.
"I know." beams Sharissa.
"How can I ever repay you?" says Carson.
"Massage my back." says Sharissa.
"Why do... Fine." Carson reluctantly massages Sharissa's back.
Around five minutes later, Chris says on the loudspeaker, "Attention, final three! Your challenge is about to begin! And remember, no phones allowed in the school! McLean out."
Amanda glares at Sharissa. "You snitched," she says.
Sharissa sheepishly grins.
Later, in the Gym, Chris sees the final three. "Greetings. Today's challenge is based off of a famous, or should I say infamous, school subject. Mathematics."
"What's that?" says Sharissa.
"Well, most of you know it as math." says Chris.
"Ohhhhh." realizes Sharissa.
"Anyways, what I was going to say before Sharissa rudely interrupted me was what types of math are you guys in?" says Chris.
"Calculus." says Amanda.
"Don't know, and don't care." says Sharissa.
"Pre-Algebra." says Carson.
"All right," says Chris. "On with the challenge... Wait, Pre-Algebra and you're sixteen?"
"I suck at math," says Carson.
"That's... good to know." says Chris. "Now that I know the various math levels you guys are in, time to explain the challenge."
"Whoo-hoo." says Amanda sarcastically.
"First up, you will get into these foamy costumes," says Chris, and points to some costumes that look like math signs. "And then, you'll tackle each other. I call this challenge 'Math Wars'."
"Is this seriously a challenge?" asks Amanda.
"Yes, it seriously is. The producers were running out of ideas again. I think I may have to fire some."
The contestants look at Chris strangely.
"Stop looking at me like that! It's awkward." Chris says. "So, Amanda, you can get into this + costume."
Amanda reluctantly puts on the + costume. "This is so blocky." she says.
"I know." laughs Chris. "Next up, Carson, put on this - costume."
"Subtraction? Isn't that the thing where you borrow from your neighbor?" says Carson.
"You are a very special child." says Chris. "Just put it on."
Carson grumbles and puts on the costume.
"All right, and finally Sharissa... put on this square root thingy." says Chris.
"So Carson and Amanda get these simple, cool symbols and I get a square root?" says Sharissa. "Nice."
"Yeah, I know." smirks Chris. "The interns took hours making these."
A chunk of Amanda's costume suddenly falls off. "Pretty skilled interns you've got there," says Amanda.
"I hope you're not being sarcastic." replies Chris.
"So, how do we win this thing?" says Carson.
"Um... I don't really know. Let's just find out. Are you ready to beat each other up?" says Chris.
The contestants nod their heads.
"Well then..." says Chris. "GO!"
"Sharissa!" says Carson. "Let me hide behind you!"
"Why?" asks Sharissa.
"Um..." replies Carson. "Because you're tall, and I want to win this challenge!"
Sharissa reluctantly agrees.
Carson steps onto Sharissa's back.
Sharissa collapses. "How much do you weigh?!?" she screams.
"Like, 96." says Carson.
"It was a rhetorical question," says Carson. "Now, let's run before Amanda gets here."
"Gets where?" says Amanda. She is right behind them.
"Aw, crap." says Sharissa. She starts to look angry.
Amanda says, "Uh-oh." and begins to sprint away. But she trips over her + costume, and sees Sharissa looming over her. Sharissa tackles her and starts to throw punches at her. Carson falls off, too, and joins in the fight. The three beat each other up, until Chris intervenes.
"QUIET!" screams Chris. "Gosh, guys. I didn't really think it would get that violent. Well, whatever. The challenge is over. Nobody won, so all three of you are fair game in tonight's vote, which will be in twenty minutes and 57 seconds."
Confessional (Carson): That was a really short challenge... I'm still torn between who I should vote off.
"Hey, Sharissa." Carson says.
"What?" replies Sharissa.
"I really don't know who I should vote out." says Carson. "I'm sorta torn."
"Well, don't vote me out, I'm right in front of you." says Sharissa.
"But I still think I can have a relationship with Amanda." says Carson.
Sharissa bursts out laughing. "SERIOUSLY?!?" she shrieks. "She hates you, dude! Time to move on!"
"Yeah, I guess." says Carson. "Maybe I should vote myself off."
"No, no, no!" says Sharissa. "We could be the awesomest final two ever! Don't do that. Just vote out Amanda. She's a bad guy. She needs to go."
Confessional (Sharissa): I'm voting out Amanda. Honestly, I believe that me and Carson could be awesome in the finals. Of course, I'd still win. Just sayin'.
Confessional (Carson): In the end, I decided to do what's right... vote for Sharissa. (pauses for a moment) Just kidding! I'm actually voting Amanda. Sharissa's pretty wise.
Confessional (Amanda): I'm gonna vote both.
At the Main Lobby, Chris says, "All right, final-three-soon-to-be-final-two. This is the last time you'll see the Main Lobby! Aren't you gonna miss it?"
"No." says Amanda.
"All right." says Chris. "Sorta expected someone would contradict me. Anyways, the first A+ goes to Sharissa."
Sharissa whispers something and gets her A+. "Final two, baby!" she shrieks.
Carson says, "Yeeeah, boy!" and gets his A+.
"All right, are you kidding me?" snaps Amanda. "I thought I had this whole thing in the bag!" She kicks Chris. "Which one of you idiots voted for me?"
"Both of them." says Chris.
"Fine, then!" snaps Amanda. "See ya!" She stomps away to the School Bus of Losers.
"All right... good way to get rid of an antagonist..." says Chris. "Anyways, who will win the million-buck prize? Find out next time, in our really exciting finale, where a winner will be crowned... on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Chapter 15- "None's Fair in Money and School"
"Last time on Total... Drama... School, the final three battled it out in the Gym, while wearing math costumes! The challenge itself was actually pretty short, but, when the remaining three weren't beating each other up, Carson made his moves on Amanda! Yeah, that's right! They kissed! Amanda didn't really want to, but Carson's not-so-manly charms let them. In the end, with the help of Carson, Sharissa voted out Amanda, leaving the crazy, deranged psychopath against the funny, smooth, joker in the final two! Who will win the million dollar prize? And who will fail miserably, with no consolation prize whatsoever? Fnd out right now on Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Confessional (Carson): Dude, I can't believe it. I'm in the final two! So, when I first signed up for this thing, my mom said it wasn't a good idea, because I'd probably get picked off first or something like that. Then, my friend Connor made this stupid audition tape for me, and I was sorta happy, but nervous, because I knew I wouldn't get far. But now, I' in the final two! WOO-HOO! I know Sharissa will still win, but who cares? Second place is beter than 12th.
Confessional (Sharissa): Prepare to go down, Carson! I'm a black belt in karate, a professional-ish guitarist, and I know 57 swear words! I just hope it's not a 'make-the-losers-vote-for-the-winner' thing, because Carson is so much more popular than me. I don't care, though. He's gonna go down.
Confessional (Carson): I really hope it's one of those 'make-the-losers-vote-for-the-winner' things, because I'm so much more popular than Sharissa.
Confessional (Sharissa): I bet he's rambling on and on right now about how he's so much more popular. But who cares? I'm still gonna win.
The two finalists walk out of the confessionals, and see Chris. "Greetings, final two!" says Chris. "Today's challenge will be an extreme obstacle course highlighting every challenge from this season! But first, let's see who the losers want to win."
The School Bus of Losers pulls up, with all of the eliminated contestants.
"Let's start out with Ricky," Chris says.
Ricky waddles out of the bus, and says, "Sup, guys?"
"Who would you like to win, Ricky?" asks Chris.
"Um... well, I don't really know either of 'em that well, because I was first voted off, but I'm gonna support the girl, because she was on my team. Gotta stick up for a former Apple." Ricky stumbles away and sits on Sharissa's support bleacher.
"All right..." says Chris. "Next up, Emilee."
Emilee comes out of the bus. "Hello, Chris. I would like to support Sharissa."
She walks normally to Sharissa's support bleacher.
"Way to be bland, Emilee." says Chris. "Next up, let's see Kurt."
Kurt steps out of the bus. "Y'know, Chris," he says, "I gotta support Carson. He's my bro from the Rulers. I sorta knew he was gonna get this far. So, I have to support him."
Kurt jogs over to Carson's support bleacher.
"Next up..." says Chris, "Helga."
Helga comes out reading a new book. "Carson." she says without looking up. "Sharissa's a jerk."
She walks up to Carson's support bleacher.
"The next loser is Veronica."
Veronica comes out growling. "I'm gonna say Sharissa. Carson likes Amanda, which is an instant no-no for me."
She stomps over to Sharissa's support bleacher.
"And... oh, lord." says Chris. "Devin."
"Yo, yo, yo, peepity peep peep peeps! I's gon' hafta say my homedawg Carson, 'cuz he's mah Brotha, an' he's coo'."
"I didn't understand a word you just said, Devin." says Chris. "But okay."
"Me an' mah saggin' pants is gon' support Carson for th' win, yo!" Devin says.
He swaggers to Carson's support bleacher.
"What?" says Chris. "All right, next up, let's see Gary."
Gary comes out of the bus. "Hey, Chris." he says. "Over 9000!"
"So, Gary," says Chris. "Who are you gonna support for the win?"
"I have to go for Carson," says Gary, "Because he's my former Brotha. He's gonna win, I know it!"
Gary waddles over to Carson's support bleacher.
"Next up is Meg, our girl-jock." says Chris. "Let's see who she supports."
Meg sprints out of the bus. "Hey, Chris." she says. "I'm gonna support Sharissa for the win. Carson's fine, but I love how Sharissa was one of the good girls on my team."
She sprints over to Sharissa's support section.
Gary sees Meg sitting in Sharissa's section. "Can I switch?" he says.
"Nope." says Chris. "I thought you hated Sharissa!"
"Well, yeah, I do, but I want to be with Meg." says Gary.
"Sorry, bud." says Chris. "Next is Alex."
An intern walks out of the bus carrying an asleep Alex. The intern says, "Alex here wants to support Sharissa."
Chris looks warily at Alex. "Okay." he says. "How are we going to..."
Alex wakes up, walks slowly to Sharissa's support bleacher, and falls back asleep.
"Never mind." says Chris. "And last but not least, Amanda, who was just voted off yesterday."
Amanda sulks out of the bus. "I hate 'em both."
"Well, you have to support one." says Chris.
"No, you want me to, but I don't have to." says Amanda.
"All right then. Don't support anyone." says Chris angrily. "Contradict me. See how I care."
Amanda walks in between the two bleachers, and grabs a stick and a photo of her from her pocket. She tapes the photo onto the stick, and says, "This is my support section."
"You're not in the final two," says Chris.
"Don't care." says Amanda.
"All right," says Chris, "So, there's four votes for Carson, five votes for Sharissa, and one vote for neither. So that means..."
Carson and Sharissa stare at each other.
"Nothing!" says Chris. "The vote was simply to see who the losers wanted to win. I already said that there was going to be a challenge."
Sharissa groans, and Carson says, "YESSS!"
"Your challenge will start in about five minutes." says Chris. "The two of you will line up at the starting line, and go your separate ways. The forest from that one challenge will be your battleground, where interns and Chef will present challenges based off of past ones. So, who's ready for a challenge?"
"Us." say Carson and Sharissa.
"Well then..." says Chris, "GO!"
Carson and Sharissa take their separate paths. First, Carson comes up to an intern at the beginning of the forest.
"Your challenge is simple," says the intern. "You must make a potion."
"All right..." says Carson.
Five minutes later, he finally makes the potion.
"I will test it now." says the intern. He drinks the potion, and falls over.
"Good enough," says Carson, and runs away into the forest.
He says to himself, "This is easy."
Sharissa comes to Chef, in a referee outfit. Chef says, "Beat me in a game of dodgeball." and grins evilly.
"That sounds dangerous," says Sharissa.
"Just do it!" says Chef.
Sharissa picks up a dodgeball, and so does Chef. They begin to chuck balls at each other, and finally, Sharissa gets knocked out.
"Ha!" says Chef. "You lost to me. So, that means you have to stay here until you beat me."
"Not if I can help it!" says Sharissa. She kicks Chef in the crotch, pummels him with dodgeballs, and sprints away. "You are no match for me!" she shrieks. "Ha-haaa!"
Carson comes to another intern. "What's my challenge?" says Carson.
"Translate what I'm saying from Spanish into English." says the intern.
"I don't really know Spanish." says Carson.
"I don't really care." says the intern. "Carson es una cabeza de caca."
- "Um..." thinks Carson. "I know caca means poop, and cabeza is... Way to be immature. Carson is a poopy head."
"You got it." says the intern. "Now, that was too easy. Chris said to make the challenge hard."
"What are you talking about? I already decoded some language I don't even know!" says Carson. "That hard enough for you?"
"That was hard," says the intern, "But Chris wants harder."
"All right..." mutters Carson. "What do you mean?"
"I mean rock, paper, scissors." says the intern.
"That ain't hard." says Carson. He pauses for a moment, then says, "...Let's do it."
Carson picks rock, the intern picks scissors.
"That was actually quite easy." says Carson. He runs away before the intern can catch him.
Meanwhile, Sharissa comes to another intern in the depths of the forest.
"Whaddya want?" says Sharissa.
"Draw a perfect portrait of me." says the intern.
"But you're so butt-ugly!" says Sharissa.
"Who cares?" says the intern. "Just do it."
A while later, Sharissa finishes her picture. "Did it," she says.
"Let me judge it." says the intern. He looks at the picture, and it is just a smiley face.
"This isn't art!" he shrieks. "I demand a re-draw!"
"Naaah, I'm good." says Sharissa, and sprints into the bushes.
Carson gets to Chris, who says, "Hello, Carson. Glad you made it this far. Your challenge is to have a food fight against me, Chef..."
Chef steps out of the bushes and grins evilly.
"...and Ricky." Ricky toddles out of the bushes.
"Aw, crap." says Carson.
"Fighters get ready..." says Chris. "Go!"
Carson picks up a hamburger off the ground and throws it at Chris. He gets knocked out, and shrieks, "My beautiful haaaaair!" Ketchup is all over his head.
"That's what you get!" says Carson. "Now, to defeat Ricky." He grabs a stick and sprints towards Ricky. His stick hits Ricky in the chest.
"Oof!" says Ricky. "My friggin' balls!"
"Again, that's what you get." says Carson. "And now, for Chef."
Carson runs past Chef.
"Hey!" says Chef. "That ain't fair. Get back here at once!"
Carson ignores him and disappears from sight.
Sharissa, elsewhere, runs into an intern.
"Greetings, tall girl." says the intern. "Your challenge is based off of challenge seven from this season."
"Kay..." says Sharissa.
"You must answer some questions about the challenge." says the intern.
"Kay..." says Sharissa again.
"First question." says the intern. "What was the button order you had to press for Gary's cheat?"
Sharissa thinks for a moment. "I got it." she says. "A, B, A, C, A, C, Z, X, B, C."
"Good job." says the intern. "Next up, who got eliminated in this challenge and why?"
"Helga," says Sharissa, "Because she got all insane when we didn't choose her book."
"Amazing job." says the intern.
"Thank you." says Sharissa. "Now can I go?"
"Uh, uh, uh!" says the intern. "One more question."
"All right." grumbles Sharissa.
"What book did the Screaming Rulers act out?" says the intern.
"Journal of a Timid Child," says Sharissa almost immediately.
"You may pass." says the intern gladly.
"THANKS!" says Sharissa, and runs away. "Finally! It's about time!"
Carson does a dueling challenge with Chef, and is held back for a while to wait for Chef's phone to go off.
Sharissa then gets to another intern, and she has to beat him in a video game called "Super Alberto".
Carson and Sharissa then meet up.
"Hey." says Carson. "How were the challenges?"
"Pretty pathetic." says Sharissa. "You?"
"Meh... easy." says Carson. "Wait a sec, you're my opponent!" He sprints away, but is blocked by Chef with a chainsaw.
Carson gulps. "Is this the recess challenge?"
Chef nods his head.
"Is that a real chainsaw?" says Carson.
Chef nods his head.
"RUN!" screams Carson, and the two run away, passing an intern with question cards, the purple and green striped bear from the forest, and some math costumes. They finally get back to the courtyard, where the eliminated contestants are all cheering.
"Who's gonna win?" says Chris. "Let's look!"
The losers begin to cheer even more.
Sharissa pulls ahead of Carson, but gets tired out, so she is passed by him again. She then gets ahead, and...
The two cross the finish line at the exact same time!
"Darn it!" says Chris. "Well, that means it's time for a tiebreaker."
"Aw, nuts." says Sharissa.
Confessional (Sharissa): And here I thought I was gonna win!
Confessional (Carson): Thank you, Chris! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Sharissa would've smoked my butt if it weren't for you.
"Your tiebreaker is simple," says Chris. "The two of you will be placed on a large platform with large foam mallets. You will pick up the mallets, and try to knock each other off of the platform, which will be 50 feet in the air. Kinda like extreme King of the Hill. So, the person who knocks out the other person wins the million. Oh, and each of you can choose a helper. Sharissa, you can choose first."
"I pick Alex." says Sharissa.
Alex lazily walks over to her. "Why'd you pick me?" he asks. "You know I'm just gonna sleep."
"I can use you as a weapon..." says Sharissa evilly.
"And Carson, you can pick." says Chris.
"I pick Gary!" says Carson. "Get up here, bro."
"Thanks, man!" says Gary. "Over 9000! Sharissa's goin' down!"
"Oh, so it's me and my secret weapon against Cars' and some little nerd?" says Sharissa. "This'll be tough."
"Are you ready?" says Chris. "Get set... Go!"
Carson hands the mallet to Gary. "Here, bro! Take this. I gotta take some down time."
Gary charges at Sharissa, and knocks her in the crotch. "OWIE!" she shrieks. She falls backwards, but Alex stops her.
"You have to win!" says Alex. "I can't let some idiots win!"
Carson and Gary stare at him, then knock him off of the platform.
"ALEEEEX!" she shrieks. "You two will pay."
Sharissa runs at Gary, and gets into a slap fight with him. Carson is just innocently watching. "Y'know, I'm your opponent." he says.
Sharissa looks up at him, and charges. Carson jumps up, and she misses. She falls off of the platform.
"I won!" says Carson. He then notices that she is still hanging on.
"I take that back." says Carson gloomily.
Sharissa jumps back up and says, "It won't be that easy, bub!"
Gary comes up from behind and whacks her with his mallet. She faints dead away.
"Good job, bro!" says Carson, and gives Gary a high-5.
After many minutes of plans and plotting, Sharissa gets back up. "This isn't over yet!" she says.
"Oh, yeah?" says Carson sassily. He then whispers, "Gary, now!"
"Wha?" says Sharissa.
Gary comes flying from the sky, and lands on Sharissa's head. He clamps onto it, and Sharissa begins to stumble about blindly.
"Will-- someone-- get-- this-- little-- nerd-- off-- of-- me?" says Sharissa. She begins to stumble so much, she falls off of the platform and onto the trampoline at the bottom!
"Huh..." says a dazed Sharissa. "Wha' happened...?"
Chris looks overjoyed. Carson and Gary drop down from the platform. "Congratulations, Carson, the winner of Total... Drama... Schooool!"
Everyone comes up to Carson and gives him a hug. They hoist him and Gary up on their shoulders. Carson sees Amanda next to him.
"Hey," he says.
"Shut up." says Amanda.
"You're just mad that you lost in the final three round, aren't you?" says Carson.
"Not really." says Amanda. "Well..." She hugs Carson.
"Ooooooo!" says Gary. Carson breaks free of Amanda and says to Gary, "Good job, dude!" He gives Gary a pat on the back.
Sharissa then comes up and says, "Good work... I guess."
"Thanks." says Carson. "Hey, Devin."
Devin comes swaggering up to Carson. "Ya did it, homes!" he says. "Ya de'feeted dat weirdo shawty, yo! You's gon' be th' captain of the Bling Brothas, word!" "Um... I don't know what you just said, but thanks." says Carson.
Later, Chris gathers up all of the students at the Main Lobby. "We now can celebrate Carson, the winner of Total Drama School!"
Everyone, even Amanda, cheers.
"And also, a pleasant surprise." says Chris. "Carson, come outside to grab your money."
Chris leads Carson outside. "There it is," says Chris. But, instead of any money, there's a bear with some dollar bills hanging out of its mouth. It sheepishly grins.
Carson begins to stutter. "M-mm-mmm-my money... was stolen... by a BEAR?"
"Sorry, kiddo." says Chris.
Back at the Main Lobby, Chris says, "Carson's money was eaten by a bear. So, the producers, Chef, and I have just come up with a new idea... Total Drama: Tiki Jungle!"
Everyone groans, and some cursing is heard.
"Not everyone will make it, though." he says. "It's sort of obvious that Carson and Sharissa will, since Sharissa was the runner-up and Carson won nothing."
Carson and Sharissa step onto the School Bus of Losers.
"Also, Amanda. Every season needs a good antagonist, and you're the perfect person to stir up drama. And, your relationship with Carson is funny." says Chris.
Amanda steps onto the School Bus of Losers.
"Alex, Gary, and Meg. Alex, you were known for your sleepiness, Gary is just funny, and Meg, you're a fan favorite." says Chris.
The three step onto the bus.
"I am also sorry to say, that Devin has made it." says Chris angrily.
"Yo, yo, foo'! I's gon' win dis new season-y thang!" says Devin, and steps on the bus.
"And the final person who will advance onto the next season is..." says Chris.
Helga steps onto the bus.
"Well, that was the first season for you, folks!" says Chris. "Tune in next time for some more fun, and eight newbies, on Total... Drama... Tiki, Tiki Jungle!"
"I won!" says Carson.
|Total Drama School ∙ Total Drama: Tiki Jungle ∙ Total Drama Revolution ∙ Total Drama Tokyo ∙ Total Drama: Superstar Showdown|
|Total Drama Culture ∙ Total Drama: Paper Adventures ∙ Total Drama Arcade|