This story is rated PG.
There may be some content not for younger kids. However, there is nothing here they wouldn't say on the Total Drama series.

Total Drama Kingdom is the first in a new Total Drama series. It is medieval-themed, and the losers must walk the Road of Shame onto the Chariot of Losers. The teams are the Killer Knights and the Crazy Kings.



Episode 1: The Sword Is Never In The Stone

Chris walked up to the Road of Shame. "Welcome to Total Drama Kingdom!" he announced. "We're going to meet our eight competitors! First up is...Ed!" "Yo, Chris! Saw you on the commercial! You were all, 'Join TDK!'" Ed said. "Yes. Yes I was. Now, meet our second competitor...Kelly!" "Heeey!" Kelly greeted. "Hey Kelly." Chris responded. "I'm SO psyched! This is gonna ROCK!" "Yeah...just don't sing when it's the challenge, 'kay? Anyway, it's Marshall! Wait...where's Marshall?" A shout came from behind Chris. "HEEEEEY CHRIIIIIIIIIS! IIIIIT'S MEEEEEEE, MAAARSHAALLLLL!" Marshall was parachuting. "Hey, Marshall. Now, our next contestant: Meet Terrence!" "Hey. I just found out this cheat code in a game-" "Yeah, whatever. After Terrence comes Ella!" "Oh, she's so pretty!" Kelly commented. "WHO IS? NOT ME!" Ella yelled. " girl, who's coming!" Kelly said. "Which brings us to Jessie!" Chris announced. "Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh! Running here was great exercise." Jessie was fat, yet she had just run several miles. " know...anyway, next up, we have Ruby!" "Hey! Do you like my clothes?" Ruby asked. "They have a lot" Marshall answered. "They do? Oh yeah, they do!" Ruby kissed Marshall, who fainted after the kiss. "Oooh...anyway, finally, welcome Kenny!" "Ohhh..." Ella said. "He's so dreamy..." Kelly added. "I get that a lot." Chris said. "Not you, you jerk. They mean me!" Kenny corrected.

"Okay, if I call your name, you're on the Killer Knights." Chris said. "Marshall. Jessie. Ruby. Kenny. If I call your name now, you're on the Crazy Kings. Kelly, Ed, Terrence, Ella." "But...I'm a girl! I don't want to be a KING!" Kelly revolted. "Um...I can't fix that. Anyway, go to the Castle Gardens and put your bags by the door. Then follow the signs to the meadow. But it's a race. Try to make your team the first to the meadow. And NO PARTNERSHIPS." "What? NO!" Marshall yelled. "Chill out..I know we'll win." Ruby said. "I guess." Marshall sighed. "Ready...set...GO!" Chris counted down and the race began.

"So...the Killer Knights made it. And here comes...Ella." "Don't worry,, I think Ed's coming." Ella assured. Just then, Ed emerged. "I saw Kelly tending to a wound...oh, here she comes." Ed told Chris. "Guys, I'm here! Owwww, this scrape hurts!" Kelly complained. "Did we win?" "No. And do I care about your scrape? No. Now where's Terrence?!" Chris asked. "I'm sure he just stopped to play a video game. That means we win!" Ruby was excited. "Not exactly..." Chris corrected.

"The second part of this challenge! You will select two teammates to claim MACES!" Chris announced. "But...why?" Jessie asked. "To find the SWORD IN THE STONE...Excalidrama!" Chris responded. "Isn't it Excalibur?" Ruby asked. "No. Not in this case, at least! One of these six stones holds the "sword" Excalidrama. Your job is to send two teammates to guess the correct rock, then drop a mace on it." Suddenly Terrence caught up with the group. "Did we win? DID WE WIN?!" Terrence demanded. "NO!" the Crazy Kings shouted. "You know, Terrence could make up for his mistake." Jessie queried. "It's a thought." Ella said. "But I'll still pound him!" "Th-then it's settled! Ella and Terrence, go out there!" Ed commanded.

"How're the Knight's working out?" Chris walked over the the group of four. "We've selected Ruby and Jessie." Kenny confirmed. "Got it. Alright, begin smashing! ...Jessie and Ruby have taken incorrect guesses...and so has Ella. Surprisingly, Terrence has tied the challenge!" "All right! Good job Terrence!" Kelly screamed. "But!" "There's a but? Don't tell me that!" Kelly said, worryingly. "Yeah, there is. It's a tie. So, now that there are 2 more rocks, you have to carry them back in a race to the Gardens." Chris confirmed.

"The Kings have reached the Halfway mark! The Knights are catching up!" Chris said from the megaphone. "I have an idea!" Ruby exclaimed. "What is that idea?" Marshall asked. "We've gotta put ALL of our strength into this...Kenny. Let go and run! Distract those Crazy Kings with your hotness!" "Cool." Kenny said. And with that, the Crazy Kings were practically paralyzed for the rest of the race, which meant the Killer Knights won by a landslide. "The Killer Knights WIN!" Chris "Now, everyone head to the courtroom of the castle to see who will board the Chariot of Losers!"

"It's time to cast your votes," Chris explained. "When I call your name, come up and receive the password for your computer button. This code will change every day. Click on your computer button, enter the code, and click on who you wanna vote for. This will count as half of a vote. This is what the Knights will do. The Kings will find Voting devices under their seats. Press the button next to who you want voted off. This will count as a full vote."

"Knights, you may leave. Unless, of course, you want to see someone ride the chariot! Just kidding, leave NOW. Kings; when I call your name, come up and get your Sword-and-Shield button to put on your shirt or something. Ed. Ella."


"…………………Kelly. Terrence, time to leave on the Chariot of Shame, bro. See ya."

Episode 2: The Ride To Drama Town

Chris sat in the judges' seat in the courtroom. "Last time on Total Drama Kingdom, our contestants arrived and raced to the Castle Meadow in part one of the challenge. The Crazy Kings lost the race, and Terrence was so late, the next part of the challenge had started when he arrived. Heh, heh. But he made up for his tardiness when he won part two for the Kings. Then the two teams carried boulders back to the Castle Gardens, where Kenny distracted the Kings with his hotness. The Killer Knights won the challenge, and despite his win, Terrence boarded the Chariot of Losers." Chris got up and started walking. "See who leaves tonight on Total Drama Kingdom."

Kelly is in the shower, crying. "I MISS TERRENCE! WHY?! WHY!? WHHYYYYYYY?!" Kelly cried. Ella was outside of the shower, waiting for Kelly to get out, along with Jessie and Ruby. "Um, we're WAITING." Ruby remarked. "YEAH! GET OUT, STICKLER! SUCK IT UP!" Ella screamed. Suddenly, the water stopped running, and Chris walked up to the girls, and threw a towel into the shower. "Good morning, girls!" Chris said. The boys followed behind. "I'm not done with my shower! UGH!" Kelly grunted. "That's why I threw a towel in there...anyway, time's-a-wasting! Come to the Royal Stable in six!" Chris told them, and walked away. " you been?" Marshall walked over to Ruby. "Fine, just fine." Ruby suddenly grabbed Marshall and whispered, "We're not an item yet. I've got a plan to get us to the next round. And I mean the entire team. But don't worry. If we lose, I have a plan. Okay, turquoise?" "What's turquoise supposed to-oh, my shirt."

"Welcome to day two in the kingdom." Chris announced. "Today, we're going out of the kingdom and to a called Drama Town." "Everything's DRAMA to you, isn't it?" Ruby retaliated. "Shush!" Chris said. "Anyway, you'll ride your horses to drama town to claim the arena. Once in the arena, you'll pick one team member to joust." "Can we leave people out? Because Jessie's gonna crush the horse." Marshall asked. "No." Chris responded. "Don't comment on my weight! I'll just get on a fat horse!" Jessie retorted.

"And they're off!" Chris announced. "Marshall is in the lead, with Ruby and Ella right behind!" "That's right! Winner coming through!" Marshall exclaimed. All of a sudden Ruby rode up, jumped off of her horse and onto Marshall's, and they kissed. Then Marshall's horse fell down, and Ella won the race and claimed the arena.

Once everyone was there, Chris explained the rules. "Since Ella made it to Drama Town first, she gets to pick the member from the Killer Knights who competes!" Chris explained. "What? That is unacceptable!" Kenny yelled. "Well, too bad, hottie!" Ella taunted. "Wanna bring it, pretty?" Kenny retaliated. "Oh, THAT'S IT YOU-" Ella was cut off by Chris. "Settle down...anyway, Crazy Kings, time to pick!" The Crazy Kings chose Kelly, while Ella chose Ruby. "A battle of the girls...nice!" Chris commented. "But...I stink on horses!" Ruby screamed. "Well, that's how you can settle things with your teammates." Kenny stated. "Okay...for Kenny!" Ruby smiled and pumped her arm in the air. "Ahem." Marshall cleared his throat. "Oh, yeah, for you too, Marshall!" Then she blew a kiss and Ruby rode into battle with Kelly. "I saw Ruby. She sucks on horses." Ella whispered to Ed. "Yeah. She's no match. Blondes are obviously superior." Ed whispered back. "That's saying something, Ed. I thought that you'd say that, take off a wig and be a natural blonde but no! You're a cool guy." Ella kissed Ed on the cheek and walked away. "And the tamer tames the beast! Yes!" Ed said to himself.

"Looks like Ruby is LOSING it!" Chris laughed. "But Kelly's not too stable either...oh, what's this? They both fell off of their horses at the same time!" Kelly got up. "But...who won?" she said. "Yeah, Chris, who won?" Ruby asked, anxiously. "Er...I guess since Ella got to Drama Town first, we can consider the Killer Knights the losers."

Chris sat in the judge's seat while the contestants voted. "The votes have been cast...Crazy Kings, you may leave to go to the dorms." Chris said. "And the armor buttons, the safety emblems, the chances at winning, go to: Kenny." Ruby had a smile on her face, while Jessie had a blank expression. Marshall looked a bit worried. "Oooooh." said Kenny. "Marshall." Chris declared. Ruby looked at Jessie and raised her eyebrows, and snickered. Jessie gasped. "The final armor button goes to Ruby. Jessie, it's time." "Wait, but I didn't do anything wrong though!" Jessie exclaimed. "Yeah, man, I swear Ruby was voted off!" Kenny stated. "I voted for Ruby!" Jessie exclaimed. "And I voted for Ruby, because she ruined my winning chances in the race!" Marshall admitted. "Lies...lies...LIES!" Jessie whispered as she boarded the Chariot of Losers.

Ruby walked in front of the camera after everyone left. "Heh, heh...all I needed was to bribe Chris with a lot of money to raise the drama and eliminate Jessie, not me. And it worked, with the excuse that it would 'raise ratings' and a bunch of other useless stuff that I don't care about." She then turned off the camera.

Episode 3: Talent Wars

Chris was in between the two dorms. "The stable presented the first stage for yesterday's challenge when the two teams rode on their trusty steeds into town. Marshall was about to make it first when Ruby jumped on his horse, made out with him, and then Marshall's horse was crushed causing Ella to get to Drama Town first. Then, Ruby and Kelly competed in the arena, which resulted in a tie. Since Ella made it to Drama Town first, the Killer Knights were sent to the courtroom, where Jessie was supposed to be safe. Heh, heh...I was bribed by Ruby to add drama and eliminate Jessie. Just for that, we changed the challenge to give her a heck of a time! Find out who is eliminated in the most emotional court voting yet on Total Drama Kingdom!"

"Ruby, something's strange about you today..." Marshall remarked. "Oh, please. Thanks for lying to keep me in, though!" Ruby kissed Marshall. "But, I didn't-" Marshall was cut off by Chris. "GOOD MORNING CONTESTANTS!!" Chris yelled from the megaphone. "Please report to the castle stage in 7!" "Well, you heard him..." Kelly sighed. "I swear, if I could, I'd pound him." Ella added.

Chris was on the stage. "Anger...I like it! Today's challenge will be a mixture of sword fighting, commanding, and talents!"

The six remaining contestants walked up to the stage. "Welcome to day three," Chris greeted. "Today, I'm putting you in two from the Knights, one from the Kings. The King in the pair chooses the opponent to face their Knights...two Knights fighting to impress the!" "Jerk..." Ed muttered. "Anyway, the winning pair will go head-to-head in a talent contest of the ages!" "So...we sword fight our teammates then compete against a king in a talent contest?" Ruby asked. "Corrrrectamundo!" Chris said. "Now, here are the pairs: Kelly and Kenny-" Chris was cut off. "EEEEEEEE!" Kelly screeched. "-Ella and Marshall, and last but possibly least, Ed and Ruby. Alright, it's time to choose the competitor for the arena!"

"The first match: Ruby VS Kenny!" Chris announced. Kenny threw his javelin, then Ruby charged at Kenny and yelled, "FOR MARSHALLLLLLLL!" Kenny fell off of his horse. "All right, Kelly and Kenny are eliminated from the challenge, so by default, Ruby VS Marshall!" Chris declared. "What? NOT fair!" Ruby yelled. "Heheh, sorry, flair girl!" Chris taunted. "Let the match begin!" Marshall flinched, then charged Ruby. Ruby purposely screamed and fake cried, causing Marshall to feel her pain and suffering. "I...I drop...I drop out!" Marshall declared his forfeit. "Well...then...Ruby and Ed, practice your talents!"

"Why did you do that for me?" Ruby asked Marshall when she saw him. "Because...I...I love-" Marshall was cut off when he was kissed by Ruby. "S-So, what's your talent going to be?" Marshall asked. "I'm writing a short story about a young couple in Great Britain in medieval times." Ruby said. "Oh. Well, good luck with that, Ruby."

Chris walked to the microphone. "TTTTTIIIIMMMEEEEESSSSS up!" He yelled. "Come to the stage now!"

"Okay...I got this..." Ruby said, worryingly. "Don't worry, you'll do great!" Marshall encouraged. Ruby walked up to the stage and read her story.

"Harvey and Leaf were a wonderful couple...until they were pitted against each other in a match. They were walking, hand in hand, when Harvey was blamed for a crime that he didn't do. Leaf was shocked. She objected as many times as she could, but nothing worked. Finally, the judge gave in when she proposed to duel him in a fight. If she won, he was free. There was no forfeiting, and Harvey had to try his best of he was disqualified. Harvey tried to object, but it was no use. In the battle, both of the lovebirds were hurt severely. So severely, in fact, that after Leaf won, Harvey died from the injury. Leaf's wounds were just as severe, but the was rushed to a hospital in time. When she exited, she was arrested for supposedly killing Harvey. Although his death was her fault, she tried to object. It was no use. While in prison, Leaf realized that if she wasn't so attached to him, she would not be in prison, and Harvey would not be dead. This thought eventually grew into a hatred for Harvey."

Everyone was asleep by the time she finished. They woke up when Chris yelled, "NEXT!" into the mic. Ed's talent was playing multiple sports at the same time, and scoring 4 goals in each of them. Everyone clapped, and the Kings were the winners. "The Crazy Kings win it!" Chris declared. The Kings cheered so loudly, Ruby had to put in earplugs. Kenny was giving Ruby a stern look, and whispered, "You're...going...down..."

"I'll tally the votes!" Chris said in a singsong voice. "And the armor buttons go to: Kenny..." Ruby and Marshall started making out. Marshall whispered, "I love you Ruby..." Ruby whispered, "I love you too..." back. "The final armor button goes to.......


"...Rub-Marshall. Marshall. Come get your button." Chris commanded. They were still making out, and they went on the Chariot of Losers together. Five minutes later, the Chariot returned with a sobbing Marshall, who sobbed in the courtroom all night until an intern released sleeping gas.

"At least the contestants got three and a half ours of sleep," Chris announced at dawn. "I have earplugs...and a suite, yep; I rock."

Episode 4: A Teen in King Chris's Court

Chis McLean approached the stage. "Previously on Total Drama Kingdom... A talent contest plus a jousting tourney culminates into an elimination for TOTAL DRAMA! Marshall giving up the position of performer for the Knights to Ruby left the Knights to rot when Ruby wrote a somewhat boring play. Ed, on the other hand, used his mad, mad, mad, mad skills to carry victory onto the Kings...for the second time! We're down to the final five as of Ruby's elimination due to Kenny's smooth moves. Karma struck Ruby back for booting out Jessie! Who will be voted off next in this episode of Total Drama Kingdom?"

Marshall woke up on the floor of the courtroom. "What? Where am I? What happened? Oh....." A few med-school interns carried him to his dorm. "I can't believe you, Ed!" Kelly admired. "You were great." "I do have that effect on others," Ed claimed. "Do I not?" "What kind of effect?" Kelly asked. "Because the only effect I know is," She sighed and dreamed of Kenny. "Kenny..."

"Hey, where is Kenny?" Ed asked.

Kenny was in his dorm with Marshall. "You owe me, Kenny." Marshall said. "I know..." Kenny sighed. "But the other team probably worked together to vote out Ruby! You didn't need my help." Marshall protested. "I still owe you, do I not?" Kenny asked. "Let's get to the point." Marshall said. "Okay..." Kenny sighed. "We win, we work on voting out Ella. We'll form a cross-team alliance." Marshall explained. "And if we lose?" Kenny asked. "You go home." Marshall said.

Chris walked up to the sound system in his room. "Testing, testing..." Chris tapped the mic. "Ahem. Alright, contestants, report to the courtroom immediately." Everyone came to the courtroom, but Chris wasn't there. "Where's Chris?" Kelly asked. Chris's voice came out of nowhere. "Right..." He fell from the ceiling. "Heeeere!" "What's with the get-up? Can I rip it to shreds?" Marshall asked. "No." Chris shook his head. "And don't interrupt me!" "Sorry..." Marshall sighed. "That's another interruption!" Chris yelled. "Give him a break!" Kenny said. "Fine, fine." Chris reluctantly agreed. "Today's challenge is a special one. One team sues. The other team has to respond. We carry out a full ceremony of crime and punishment." "Where's the jury?" Marshall asked. "Right there!" Chris pointed in the direction of the jury seats. Terrence, Ruby, and Jessie were seated in the jury section. "RUBY'S in the jury?" Marshall shrieked. "Yep! And so is another member of the Crazy Kings...just for this challenge. Kings, choose someone to sit out." Chris told the Kings. "Okay..." Ed said. "Uh..." Ella mumbled. All of a sudden, Kelly's head popped up. "Ella's gonna sit out!" She told Chris. "WHAT?" Ella yelled. "You heard her." Chris said. "We never agreed on this." Ed said. Ella took a deep breath, counted to five, and said, "You, Kelly, are a goner."

"Alright, we're gonna flip a coin to see who defends and who offends!" Chris stated. "Marshall, what would you go with?" Kenny asked. "Heads." Marshall turned to Chris. "Heads for the Killer Knights duo. NOW can I rip up your ridiculous-" "NO! And just for that, you changed your vote to tails. Meaning," Chris faced the Kings. "The Kings chose heads." "All right, let's get our flip on!" Kelly cheered. "Shush! That was an interruption." Chris said. "Now, lemme flip..." Kelly had a worried look on her face. "...Heads." Chris announced. "Woohoo! Ed, what do you want to pick?" Kelly asked, admirably. "The obvious choice! Defender, duh!" Ed chose. "What?" Kelly asked Ed. "I said Defender." Ed confirmed. "Is there a problem?" ", not at all..." Kelly sighed.

"Okay... Court is now in session!" Chris declared. "But we don't have a lawyer yet!" Marshall said. "Which is why it'll be you!" Chris pointed to Marshall. "You stink." Marshall spat. "ANYWAY," Chris got back on track. "Knights are suing Kings. What for, you may ask? The elimination of Ruby. They're apparently responsible." "Oh, really?" Ella asked. "Well, Ruby voted for Marshall, Kenny voted for Ruby, and Marshall voted for Kenny." Chris explained. "So," Marshall thought it over. "The Kings got my girl eliminated!" Marshall ran over to maul Ed. "Break it up, or you both go home." Chris declared. "Fine." Marshall made a sour face at Ed. "Ella is part of the jury, too." Chris told them. "Fine, whatever." Ella took a seat next to Terrence.

"Okay, court is officially in session." Chris said. Marshall stood up. "Um..." Kenny whispered something in Marshall's ear. Marshall nodded. "I'd like to call Ed to the... um..." "Okay! Ed, come on up!" Chris commanded. "Fine, right, whatever." Ed agreed. "Mr. whatever-your-last-name-is, did you have any alliances, say, with Ella? And did this alliance gang up on Ruby?" Marshall questioned. "No," Ed confirmed. "I may have voted for Ruby, but I was in a cross-team alliance with Kenny!" "Why the *censored* didn't you tell me?" Marshall turned to Kenny. "" Kenny stalled. "Let's get on with this, people." Chris tried to keep it going. "Whatever." Marshall shrugged. "Now, Ed, when was this made?" "What is 'this'?" Ed asked. "The alliance, you dimwit." Marshall slapped Ed. "Ow!" Ed shouted. "Anyway. when you forfeited for your sweetheart," Ed pointed at Ruby, "I asked Kenny about eliminating her." "Okay." Marshall said. "Judge Chris, repeat the votes, please." "Uh, okay." Chris got out a piece of paper. "Marshall voted for Kenny. Kenny voted for Ruby. Ruby voted for Marshall." "Ruby?" Marshall said. "Why the *censored* did you vote for me?" "Watch your language, Marshall." Ruby shook her finger. "Anyway... I voted for you because you would have beaten Ed in the talent contest." "Oh, really?" Ed stood up. "Wanna bet?" "No, I'd rather not." Ruby sat down. "" Kenny stalled. Then he whispered something in Marshall's ear. "I'm calling Kelly." Marshall said. "Kelly," Marshall put the pressure on her. "Who did you vote for?" Marshall asked. "... ... ... ..." Kelly was silent. Then she stood up. "You." The jury gasped.

"Well, I guess the Knights proved that it was Ed's fault that Ruby got kicked off." Chris confirmed. "Kings, Knights, I'll see you back here in an hour. Kings lose. The jury can leave." Chris and everyone else left.

"So," Kelly and the Kings were at the gardens. "Who should we vote off?" "I wanna vote off you." Ella spat at Kelly. "I'm gonna have to agree with her on that one." Ed stated. "Well," Kelly turned around. "I think we should vote off Ed. Due to that stupid alliance, Ruby got eliminated. Therefore, losing us the challenge." Kelly explained. "Whatever." Ed shrugged her comments off.

Everyone arrived in the Courtroom. "So, Kings," Chris was there was well, ready to send someone home. "second time on the chopping block. You're a tad overdue." "Whatever." Ella rolled her eyes. Kenny stood up. "Can Marshall and I vote so we can leave?" He asked. "Fine, whatever." Chris let Kenny and Marshall cast their votes. Kenny left, but Marshall didn't. Then, the Kings voted. "The votes have been cast." Chris looked at the results. Marshall had a smirk on his face. "First button," Chris took out an armor button, "goes to Ella." Ella went to get her button. "What?" Marshall shouted. "I thought she was-" Marshall was interrupted by Chris. "No shouts from the Knights stands. Next one...and the last one..." Chris held an armor button up in the air.


"goes to.............................................................................................................................................................................Kelly." Kelly claimed her button. "YES!" Kelly did a victory dance. "WHAT? YOU VOTED ME OFF?!?" Ed yelled. "Sorry," Chris said. "Them's the rules." Two interns came and dragged Ed to the Chariot of Losers. As he left, Ed looked down. "Stupid alliance..." he said, as the Chariot faded away.

Episode 5: Spear Factor

Previously on TDK, order was in the court when Kelly made all the decisions for her team. Everyone was shocked when they found out Ed was the cause for Ruby's elimination, so he was sent packing. Who will be eliminated now? It's Total Drama Kingdom!

"Ella," Kelly approached Ella.

"What do you want?" Ella seemingly rejected.

"I know you kinda liked Ed... I wanna make it up to you," Kelly said. "Alliance time."

"To vote off who?" Ella asked.

"The guy who seemingly got Ed off; Kenny." Kelly said.

"Don't you love him?" Ella asked.

"Yes," Kelly stopped. "Wait a minute."

"What?" Ella questioned.

"I can't vote off Kenny!" Kelly apparently just realized that.

"So," Marshall said. "Who do we vote off tonight?"

"It depends," Kenny said, "Who wins the challenge, if the merge is now...I mean, we are halfway through this seemingly small competition."

"Good point." Marshall said, looking down.

"Here come the girls," Kenny warned. "Act normal."

"Hey, Kenny. Hey, Marshall." Kelly blushed at Kenny.

"Hello, ladies." Marhsall said. "Who's up for a boxing match on this roof? I know I am!"

"Weirdo." Ella said.

"Freak." Marshall shot back.

"Psycho." Ella responded.

"Bully." Marshall kept the back-and-forth going.

"Poser." Ella insulted once more.

"Pretty girl," Marshall smirked. "fat girl..."

"NEVER CALL ME PRETTY!" Ella seemed ready to maul Marshall.

Chris suddenly walked in. "Welcome to the Merge, Black Aces!"

"Knew it." Kenny assumed.

"Anyway, today..." Chris took out a sword, " fencing day!"

"Ooh, yay! Pain infliction!" Marshall seemed happy.

"Psycho." Ella said again. Marshall didn't seem to notice.

"You'll be wearing very light protection," Chris smiled, "because your clothes are your only protection."

"YES!" Marhsall pumped his fist up in the air.

"Isn't that illegal, though?" Kelly pointed out.

"Alright, fine." Chris frowned and threw sets of protection to the "Black Aces."

Everyone gathered at a stadium that resembled the 2008 Olympics Fencing Arena.

"Um, Chris," Kelly tried to point out something, "this'll be a really short tournament. There are only four people!"

"Um, Kelly," Chris imitated, "this'll be a round-robin tournament. There are only four people!"

Marshall stormed in late. "So? When do I get to inflict PAIN?" Marshall had a weird look on his face.

"When I feel like it!" Chris told Marshall. "...Which is now."

"Can I go first?" Marshall asked.

"Volunteers go last," Chris said, "First is Ella versus Marshall."

"Yes! I get to take out my ANGER!" Ella made an evil face to Marshall.

"...Meep..." Marshall made an uneasy face.

"That's right, you'd better meep!" Ella yelled as she got on the fencing stage. Marshall followed.

"Ready..." Chris started the countdown as Marshall got a sword. "Set..." Chris continued as Ella got a sword.

"Ready, chump?" Ella stared at Marshall.

"Oh, I'm ready as I'll ever be." Marshall said, although shaking.

"GO!" Ella and Marshall went head to head. Five minutes later, Marshall nearly bled internally. But he still won.

"Oops..." Ella put her fingernails in her mouth.

"And Marshall now fights Kelly!" Chris declared.

"But he just fought!" Kelly tried to get paired up with someone else.

"And I'm almost bleeding internally!" Marshall complained.

"Exactly," Chris smiled, "which is why Ella fights Kenny simultaneously!"

"So we both fight?" Marshall said, "Nice. If I finish first, I get to see pain rather than feel too much of it."

"Are you saying you'll win?" Kelly said. Five minutes later, Kelly was out of breath. " won..." Somehow, Kenny defeated Ella.

"Two wins for Marshall, one for Kenny!" Chris announced. "Next up... Kelly and Kenny!"

"No!" Kelly yelled. "I cannot fight someone as beautiful as him!" She was trying to forfeit.

"Too bad. Get on to the platform." Chris looked a bit irritated.

Surprisingly, Kelly won.

After Kelly's win, she was defeated by Ella. Marshall was defeated by Kenny.

"We have our finalists! Because Marshall and Kenny both won two matches, they'll go at it again for invincibility!" Chris announced.

"YES!" Marshall pumped his fist in the air. "PAIN! INFLICTION! PAIN! PAIN! INFLICTION!" he cheered.

"Whatever..." Kenny was bleeding in a few places. "Chris, why are these armor things so thin?" Kenny asked.

"Oh, they're not," Chris smiled. "the swords are just really, really, really sharp."

"That explains the bleeding." Kenny said as he got onto the stage.

"Bring it, blondie!" Marshall threatened. "I'll kill you if I can!"

"Then my family will sue," Kenny answered, "you and the Total Drama series."

"Eeep!" Chris made a small sound. "Um... three... two... one..." Chris's voice got smaller as he counted down.

"FFFFFIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHTTTT!" Marshall was ecstatic to be able to fight Kenny one more time at a shot for invincibility.

The fight didn't go so well. Kenny was exhausted. He was bleeding hypothetically everywhere by the end of the match.

"Um... I hope we don't get sued!" Chris tried to persuade Kenny not to sue.

"Same...but it would be AWESOME to be in court! With the hammer thing... What's it called again?" Marshall asked.

"A gavel." Kelly answered.

"Yeah, I'd steal that and rampage!" Marshall smiled.

"Speaking of rampage, Marshall has invincibility!" Chris announced.

"YES! YES! YEEEEES!" Marshall yelled loud enough for the outside world to hear.

In the courtroom, there were no computers. Also, there was no Kenny.

"Where's Kenny?" Kelly asked.

"I don't know, he should be here. Marshall should know." Chris looked at Marshall, who shrugged.

"He made a phone call when I was in the dorm for like, two seconds." Marshall explained.

"Whatever," Chris took out a plastic model of a voting device, "cast your votes."

"You think you're so cool and strong, but you're not." Marshall voted.

"You're pathetic!" Ella voted.

"You stabbed me WAY too hard!" Kelly voted.

"All right!" Chris had the votes. "We gave up on the buttons, so I just have Gilded Chris Awards for you. They go to Marshall, obviously, and Ella... Say, where's Kenny?" At that moment, Chef arrived with a note. "What?" Chris shouted as he tossed a statue to Kelly. "Kenny dropped out to get stronger medical help? He would have gotten the final Chris!" The scene cut to Chris in his suite. "Well, it wasn't that dramatic, but see you next time on Total... Drama... Kingdom!"

Episode 6: "Third" Degree Burns

Chris walks up, this time next to a castle. "Last time on Total... Drama.... KINGDOM! When the teams merged, we held a fencing tournament. Ella took out her anger on Marshall in the round robin tournament. Marshall only took one loss due to Kenny's mad skills, but then they fought each other right after that in the finals! Marshall won invincibility, and guess who got the boot? After experiencing severe injuries, Kenny left the show. Let's just hope he doesn't sue!" Chris turned toward the castle but pointed his head toward the camera. Find out what happens tonight during this overdramatic, traumatic, and overall daredevil episode of Total Drama Kingdom!"

Kelly, Marshall and Ella gathered at the Chariot of Losers. Kelly ran up to the chariot. "Bye, Kenny!" she yelled while waving.

"Bye, dude." Marshall looked at Kenny.

"Bye, I guess." Ella rolled her eyes. Inters lifted up Kenny's cot and boarded the chariot. The chariot then rode off to the nearest hospital.

"I guess," Marshall sighed, "that it was for the best."

"You're probably right." Kelly said.

"I guess." Ella looked at the ground.

"Excuse me, princess," Marshall giggled, "but why so, as the 'hip' kids say, down?"

"I miss...someone." Ella said while looking down at Marshall.

"Ed." Marshall remarked as soon as possible.

Ella started crying. "Shut it! And never say I'm a princess!" Ella ran off with tears in her eyes while Marshall and Kelly stared awkwardly.

The next morning, the three remaining Black Aces woke a dungeon!

"WHERE THE HECK ARE WE?" Ella yelled.

"I don't know! I'm scared!" Kelly screamed.

"Oh, please," Marshall rolled his eyes, "this isn't scary at all. This is actually joyful! EEEEEEEE!" Ella and Kelly stared awkwardly.

Chris came in, sliding down on a rope. "Good morning, Aces! Or should I say...captives!" Kelly gasped.

"Cool!" Marshall yelled.

"Shh! This cave is made of cheap limestone! It'll crumble if you yell! And then I'll have you eliminated!" Chris scolded.

"Sorry." Marshall apologized.

"Who wants to escape first?" Chris threw the three captives lava-proof surfboards.

"What are these for?" Ella asked.

"Escaping." Chris hit a button and his rope flew up. He was gone.

"Surfing! Sweet." Marshall stared at his board.

"There's a catch," Ella said as she examined the area, "I just know it."

Chris's voice was heard. "You're right!" Suddenly, lava started flowing from a hallway!

"EEK!" Kelly squeaked.

"Use your boards! They're lava proof!" Marshall commanded. Ella and Kelly shrugged at each other and started running. Marshall was already surfing the lava.

"WHOO HOO!" Marshall had the time of his life while Ella and Kelly struggled to stay alive. Suddenly, a two way fork in the road came along. Without thinking, Marshall took a random path. Ella and Kelly took a different path.

"I can hear that scrawny boy yelling from the other side of the dungeon." Ella said. She started to lose her balance, but regained it.

"Whew!" Kelly was relieved.

Marshall was surfing the lava. Suddenly, a TV emerged. Chris appeared on it. "Marshall, you realize you took the wrong path, right?"

Marshall gasped. He started to surf towards the wall in hopes of breaking through. He remembered that the cave was made of limestone and screeched as loud as he could. The walls crumbled and Marshall was able to get into the right path. But a rock fell, and...

...hit Marshall on the head. He fainted and fell into the lava!

"Oh my gosh! Look at Marshall!" Kelly saw Marshall sinking into the lava. Chris's TV appeared again.

"I'm sinking into the lava, and I'm trying to keep from going under! Marshall, who turned the temperature hotter? 'Cause your burnin' up, burnin' up - for me, baby!" Chris's TV collapsed this time while Kelly and Ella stared awkwardly.

Marshall had a cast on plus burns on his face while the final three prepared to vote someone off. "Well, it seems a bit unfair this time. Marshall's injured, and we had to stop due to Marshall falling into the mild lava. And since there wasn't a winner, I hate to say it, but...

nobody goes home. Go away." Chris finished his speech and left to go to his suite.

"What?" Ella yelled.

"Well, it is kind of fair." Kelly said.

"My burns...ow..." Marshall complained to himself.

"Sometimes, I can make these things dramatic." Chris said in his suite. "I did today, but went overboard and ruined the drama...for now. The most drama EVER comes up on the next episode of: TOTAL - DRAMA - KINGDOM!" Chris signed off.

Episode 7: Million Dollar Kingdom

Chris walked up to the screen with a suitcase. “Once upon a time, on Total Drama Kingdom, we trapped Marshall, Kelly and Ella in a dungeon. Then, we brought out the big guns. A lava surfing challenge! Now, we know that has nothing to do with medieval times, but we were bored, and out of ideas.” Chris walked away from the place he was at. Chris appeared in the courtroom. “Well, three’s about to become four! No, it’s not due to a lawsuit…” The theme song played.

“I don’t believe it!” Kelly said in the confessional. “I’m still here and still alive. I might actually win the two-hundred-fifty grand!”

Ella was in the confessional. “You see, I joined to calm my anger. And for the $250,000.”

Marshall fell through the ceiling into the confessional. “Why was I in love with Ruby at the start? She was so colorful! I joined this shindig to hook up with a lady, and to get the moolah and buy a Porsche!”

“What I would do with the money…” Ella pondered in the confessional, “Maybe buy a bunch of new outfits. Then use the rest for…I dunno, charity?”

“Obviously, I’d use the money for a makeover!” Kelly exclaimed in the confessional, “I’ll give myself a whole new look, and then build a schoolhouse for underprivileged children! What, I can’t be like Beth?”

“You do look like her.” An off-screen voice said. Kelly was silent.

“What are my chances?” Ella asked the world in the confessional. “Well, I’d say pretty good. I’ve got a psychotic twig I can snap easily, and a wannabe. I’d win for sure unless I get eliminated today.”

“My chances are probably large.” Marshall said in the confessional. “Except for Ella, she scares me.”

“My chances? Huge! I’m the most popular girl here!” Kelly exclaimed in the confessional. Suddenly, a knock on the door was heard. A note was handed to Kelly. “They selected me to take a million dollars and leave the competition? YAY!”

Marshall was sleeping in his dorm when someone knocked on the door and came in. “Marshall?” an intern said.

Half awake, Marshall replied, “Yes?”

“Letter.” The intern left.

“I’ve been selected to take a million and leave? Cool…” Marshall drifted off to sleep.

Ella was sitting outside the girls’ dorm. The same intern came and gave her a letter. “I’m taking a million and going? Sweet.” Ella walked toward the boys’ dorm. “It’s just that time…” Ella said, slamming her fist into her palm.

The next morning, the final three approached the spot designated by the note. There was a suitcase. It could have had $1,000,000 in it, it could have not. The spot was at the Chariot of Losers, but there was no Chariot. A familiar voice arose. “It’s MY million dollars!”

Marshall heard the voice, and so did everyone else. “No, it’s mine!” Marshall spat back.

“Mine!” Kelly said back.

“Are you all retarded? It’s MINE!” Ella yelled.

“Wait…four people?” Marshall said, confused. A limo is seen driving up, and Chris walks out.

“Welcome to your next-“ Chris stopped. “Wait, my suitcase! That has a million dollars in it! Why is it there?”

“I got a note telling me it was mine!” Kelly said to Chris.

“Same!” Ella and Marshall both said.

“Well, I guess deciding who it goes to is your challenge.” Chris mumbled loudly.

“Sweet!” Marshall yelled in the confessional, “This’ll be easy!”

“And it’s a four-person competition!” Chris announced. “And I’m not in it, and neither are any interns! Someone’s back! Because ratings went down big time after the fencing challenge!” Chris opened the door of the limo…

…and Ruby stepped out, back in the game.

“R-Ruby?” Marshall couldn’t believe it.

“Yes,” Ruby pointed to the case with $1,000,000 in it. “It’s MY million dollars!”

“No, it’s mine!” Marshall yelled,

“No, mine!” Kelly shouted.

“Are you all RETARDED? It’s MINE!” Ella yelled. Everyone was quiet for a minute. The limo drove off. Ruby was there to stay.

“Well…” Kelly pondered. “How ‘bout a contest?”

“Whatever it takes to claim a million bucks.” Ella said.

Ruby appeared in the confessional. “Why I fell in love with Marshall at the start?” Ruby asked. “You may think that it was to use him, but you’re wrong. His hair and clothes spoke to me. Simple, but with lots of flavor! Where did he get those? These threads are OLD!”

“So what’s the contest going to be?” Marshall asked the three ladies.

“I was thinking a runway contest.” Ruby smiled.

“Wrestling tournament!” Ella shouted.

“Whoever can destroy the most things in Chris’s suite in one minute! Like that challenge on Total Drama…that…movie….thing! Whatever! I just want to destroy stuff!” Marshall recommended.

“I was thinking a popularity contest, but Marshall’s idea works too.” Kelly said.

“Popularity?” Ella said in the confessional. “She’s such a big geek, she’d come in last!”

“No. Not a popularity contest.” Marshall said monotonously.

“Darn,” Kelly chuckled, “you caught on to my plan to win.” Kelly flipped her hair.

“All for my idea?” Marshall said. Kelly raised her hand. Ruby rolled her eyes and raised her hand. Ella didn’t put her hand up, but the vote was 3-1. So they crashed Chris’s suite.

“WHOO-HOOO!” Marshall started tearing up Chris’s bed.

“Really? Really?” Ella punched a hole through the wall.

“Losers.” Ruby said under her breath as she left the water running. She also put red dye in the toilet.

“This’ll be easy.” Kelly took out a permanent marker and drew all over the wall.

“What were they thinking?” Ella said in the confessional. “I CLEARLY did the most destruction. I mean, that was the point, right?”

Marshall broke everything breakable while Ella tore the door off of the suite. Ruby called in a helicopter to drop a boulder on the suite. Luckily, no one was hurt….but the suite was.

“I guess I win.” Ruby smiled.

“No, me!” Marshall retorted. “It was for the MOST destruction, not the heaviest blow!”

“He’s got a point…Darn it, that means I lost!” Kelly said.

“Which means I won! I tore the door off of the wall and punched 5 holes in it!” Ella smiled.

“NONE. OF. YOU. WIN.” Chris stomped into his suite. “What are you guys doing?”

“Deciding who gets to be a millionaire and leave the show, happy and rich.” Marshall said.

“Well, if it’s for the cause…I’ll let it slip.” Chris went to his hidden camera room.

“So what do we do now?” Kelly asked. “I’m out, but you three tied!”

“At least she’s humble!” Ruby said in the confessional. “I think we need a little character advancement in this cast…”

“Let’s try…uh….” Ella tried to think of something.

“Uh…” Marshall pondered. “Ruby’s idea! Runway!” Marshall clapped.

“That…was….awkward….but okay!” Ruby said.

“Fine, whatever.” Ella grumbled.

“I may be out, but I still wanna compete!” Kelly smiled.

“Then it’s decided! Get your outfits on and be back here in 15 minutes!” Ruby ordered as the four went to their dorms.

“Kenny left his clothes here, so I might be able to use that to my advantage…” Marshall started getting dressed up. “Heh…they’ll never see it coming…” Kelly put on her spare clothes and exited. “You can come in, Ruby!”

“Thank you.” Ruby came in. She got on her best, most flavorful, clothes and exited, letting Ella in.

“I’ll just wear something I’ll look better in.” Ella dressed and left.

Everyone gathered at the spot where the million was. “I contacted Chris.” Ruby explained, “He’ll be here with some judges in a minute or two.” Five minutes later, Chris walked up to them.

“I’ve brought your judges: Kenny, because he forgot his luggage when he left,” Chris explained as Kenny waved, “and Ed, because there was no use in bringing Terrence.” Jessie ran up out of nowhere. “Oh, I forgot, Jessie’s just here to watch.”

“Okay…let’s start!” Ruby shouted as she emerged from the bushes. Her outfit was purposely covered in all types of splotches of color. Her pants were pink and turquoise.

“Eight.” Kenny rated.

“Eight.” Ed rated.

“Ten.” Chris rated. “Next!”

Kelly emerged. It was her regular clothing, just red and brown with a dot of yellow.

“Simple yet fiery…I like it.” Kenny commented. “Nine.”

“TOO simple. Needs more…athletic, different vibe. Six.” Ed rated.

“I rate eight.” Chris said.

“Next up!” Ruby clapped.

Marshall emerged. Kenny gasped.

“Those…are…MY CLOTHES!” Kenny yelled.

“Sor-ry.” Marshall said. His outfit was black with orange spots. The pants were black and white striped, vertically. He was wearing sunglasses.

“Ugh. I have to say, you chose well. But since you stole from me, eight.” Kenny rated.

“Ten! Finally, some decency!” Ed clapped.

“Nice one using Kenny’s clothes. That’s what this game is all about; a dog-eat-dog world. Eight. Too much black though.”

Ella’s outfit was just her regular outfit in light blue.

“A nice change, but a little too normal.” Ed commented. “Seven.”

“Six.” Kenny rated.

“Seven.” Chris rated. “I think we’re done here.”

“I WIN!” Marshall and Ruby shouted simultaneously.

“So who wins?” Ella said. “They did tie…”

“Coin flip!” Chris clapped, and someone threw him a solid gold coin.

“Heads.” Marshall said, quickly.

“Then I have to have tails!” Ruby said.

Chris flipped the coin – the new millionaire was…


“YES!” Ruby shouted as she opened the case…but there wasn’t a million.

“I knew it!” Ella shouted.

“An invincibility pass…?” Ruby said.

“Yeah, we didn’t really have a million to spare.” Chris laughed. “See you in the courtroom tonight! Ha ha…”

“I’m taking a nap...I’ve been up for SO long…” Marshall yawned.

“Why?” Kelly yelled.

“All-nighter, baby. My cousin now owes my fifty bucks.” Kelly smiled as Marshall went to take a nap.

“Marshall isn’t that bad after all.” Kelly smiled.

Everyone BUT Marshall gathered in the courtroom. “Where’s Marshall?” Chris asked.

“Napping, I’ll get him.” Kelly ran and woke Marshall up. She brought him into the courtroom…well, dragged.

“Cast your votes now.” Chris ordered.

“Now that I’m back, you can’t distract me anymore.” Ruby voted.

“I like you better, but you’re the only one I can vote for.” Kelly voted.

“I don’t care, you still irk me.” Ella voted. Marshall ‘s head fell upon the voting device, therefore casting a vote for someone.

“The votes are in; the Gilded Chris-“ Chris was interrupted.

“What happened to the buttons?” Ruby asked.

“Too lame.” Chris commented. “The Chrises go to…Ella and Kelly.”’

Marshall woke up, realizing he didn’t have a Gilded Chris. Neither did Ruby. “Wait…if Ella and Kelly have Chrises, and Ruby doesn’t, and she’s invincible, then that means…”

“Sorry, Marshall, you’re OUT.” Ruby said, accepting a Chris.

“But…whhhhyyyyyyyy?” Marshall whined.

“I dunno, just get in the chariot.” Chris ordered. Marshall left. “Don’t you guys love blindsides?”

“I guess.” Ruby said as she walked off.

Chris was in his suite. “Well, our psycho is finally out. About time, now I need a new suite! He accidentally voted himself off, therefore 4 votes against him. I love blindsides. Guess I’ll have to use his suite until mine gets fixed. We’ve got three girls in the final three of Total Drama Kingdom!” Chris signed off.

Episode 8: Formula Three Racing

Chris was sitting by three mini-chariots, meditating. He was silent.

"Chris, dude, the camera's on." a cameraman said.

"Oh, it is?" Chris opened his eyes. "Crap! Anyway, previously on Total Drama Kindgom..." Chris stopped. "You guys really need to work on your typing for these cue cards - I just said 'kindgom'! You're fired for season two!"

"Sorry!" a random intern said.

"I don't take sorries, Cedric!" Chris reprimanded. "Finally, we get to the recap! Last time on Total Drama KINGDOM - I had some interns, like this guy who just got fired tell everyone that there was a case with a million dollars in it at the Chariot of Losers. We also got Ruby to believe it when she returned! Ha! Anyway, the new final four made their own challenge this time when they destroyed my suite and had Kingdom's Next Top Molde...wait, 'molde'? That's two strikes! Next error, you don't get paid! Idiot! Kingdom's Next Top Model - and Ruby and Marshall tied. We flipped a coin and Ruby won the case, which contained an invincibility pass. A blindside eliminated Marshall from the competish." Chris stood up and waved his hand over the mini-chariots. "Tonight, we race. Total...Drama...Kindgom!" Chris was oblivious to the mistake.

"Ruby, why did you return?" Kelly asked Ruby in the evening after Marshall's mid-day elimination.

"Simple - Chris told me that I'd get $500 if I returned, got Marshall voted out - which I was loath to do - and stirred up the drama." Ruby responded.

"You're honest....maybe you're not so bad after all." Kelly smiled.

Ruby was in the confessional. "Okay, Kelly is too nice. Any nicer and we'll be forced to ally to get Ella out. Which I still want to do after what she's done to Marshall."

"Thanks." Ruby said to Kelly.

Ella was in her dorm, lying in bed. One of her confessionals then aired. "Ruby's return just made my life worse, especially now that we're roommates. I'll never get to sleep with THREE girls in my dorm!"

"Oh! Ella's probably waiting for us! Let's go!" Kelly recommended as she ran for the girls' dorm.

"I'll stay here." Ruby said. "I've got some stuff to do."

"Meeting with Chris?" Kelly asked, suspicious.

"No, my requirement is fulfilled. But we can't tell Ella! She'll kill me!" Ruby said.

"Okay!" Kelly said, feeling a bit happy-go-lucky.

"She just AGREES like that?" Ruby said in the confessional. "I'm just WAITING for her to ask for an alliance! I mean, really, suspicion erased just like that? Not even the peppiest of the knights of the round table would do that!"

"How could I just let Ruby die like that?" Kelly said in the confessional. "If I'm popular, don't I have to make sure people like me?"

"Ruby, back?" Ella said in the confessional. "Gah, it gives me a headache at night. She's okay, but I'm not sure what she did to Marshall was very...oh, wait, it was." Ella smirked.

At 6:00 AM, Chris fired up the megaphone. "Welcome, racers!"

"WHAT NOW?" Ella shouted.

"Just come to the racetrack." Chris said.

"There's a racetrack? OMG!" Kelly got out of bed quickly.

"Yes, Kelly. I'll lead you to it. Get the three others out of there." Chris said monotonously.

"Geez, someone took a boring pill this morning." Kelly joked.

"This is your next challenge!" Chris presented the chariots.


"Then today's your day." Chris smiled. "Get in the chariots."

"EEEEEEEE!" Kelly ran to her chariot.

Everyone boarded their chariots. "On your marks..." Chris started.

"Yes...yes..." Ruby was full of energy.

"Get set..." Chris continued.

"These punks don't know what's coming." Ella said under her breath.

"GO!" Chris turned the volume of the megaphone all the way up.

Kelly whipped her chariot horse. "WHOO-HOOO!"

"Chris?" Ruby whipped her horse. "What are the rules of this race?"

"Winner equals immune. Then the jury plus you vote." Chris explained.

"Whatever." Ella whipped her horse and started to go way ahead of Kelly and Ruby.

"Hey! I wanna win!" Kelly said while whipping her horse. "Go faster! GO FASTER! UGH!"

"So do I." Ruby whipped twice and the horse ran faster. And the drama began.

"The lead goes to Ruby! No, Kelly! No, Ruby! No, Kelly! No, Ella! No, Ruby! No, Ella! No, Kelly! No, Ella! No, I think it's Kelly! I just can't tell, they're so fast!" Chris said. This continued until someone rang a bell. "We have a winner!"

Only one emerged victorious...


"Ha! Yes! In your faces!" Ruby cheered.

"Ruby wins." Chris said. "The horses have spoken."

"Whatever. We ALL know I'll survive." Kelly said in the confessional.

All eight competitors gathered in the courtroom. "Now, we're going to do this a different way." Chris announced. "Come up to this jar. There is paper next to it. Cast your votes."

"I've seen this on a reality show somewhere before." Jessie announced.

"Whatever. No talking from the jury!" Chris said. "Now cast them like there's no tomorrow...which there is, but whatever."

Terrence voted. "You make me sick." He then put his head back to his game.

"Ruby the Rubik's Cube is immune, so..." Jessie voted.

"You're the only one I can vote off." Ed voted.

"Thought we were friends." Kenny voted.

"Muahaha....muahaha....muahaha..." Marshall voted.

"I've got no choice." Kelly voted.

"We all know I'll stay, so..." Ella voted.

"It's only fair. I can't imagine losing to the other." Ruby voted.

"You've all cast the votes. The final two is set in stone." Chris announced. Ruby was smiling. "Obviously, Ruby gets a Gilded Chris...actually, a Golden Chris this time."

"Sweet!" Ruby got her Golden Chris.

"Next up, I'm reading the votes." Chris took out a vote. "One vote goes to Kelly." Kelly gasped. "Two votes for Kelly." Kelly gasped again. "One vote for Ella. And another...and another..." Chris took out more votes. "Three for Kelly, Three for Ella." Kelly gasped. "One vote for...Crayola?" Chris was confused.


"Whatever...seventh person eliminated and the person receiving third place is..."

"Ella." Chris showed her the chariot.

"WHAT? NO! I CAN'T GO!" Ella calmed down. "Not without this." Ella walked over to Ed and kissed him. "Ed?"

"Y-yes...?" Ed asked.

"Will you go out with me?" Ella asked.

"Sure, why not?" Ed smiled. The jury of now six contestants boarded the Chariot of Losers.

"Wasn't that touching?" Chris asked the camera. "Who cares, though? Ruby and Kelly are our final two! But before that, see what the losers think! Next time on Total! DRAMA! KINGDOM!

Episode 9: The Aftermath: Special Kingdom Edition

A guy wearing a blue toque walks up to the screen. "I really don't want to read it! UGH! Previously on TDK, they raced, blah blah blah, and Ella got voted out. Sweet girl."

After the theme song, the same guy is sitting on a couch. "I'm Ed. Welcome to the TDK Aftermath Special!" A crowd cheered.

"Go Ed!" Ella cheered for Ed.

"I'll interview the contestants this episode. I'm getting money for it." Ed announced.

"Whoop-de-doo." Terrence was playing his video game.

"Meh, we'll start with you." Ed said.

"Whatever." Terrence put his DS down and sat on the couch.

"What made you think that you'd get far?" Ed asked.

"Nothing. I just thought I'd give it a shot." Terrence walked away.

"...Okay." Ed was nonchalant. "Jessie?"

"Hey, guys!" The crowd cheered as Jessie walked in. "Hello, Ed."

"Hey, Jess. So, how'd it feel to be out unfairly?" Ed asked.

"Still stings a little, but I'm happy now. I can't take any more Chris!" Jessie said.

"You may not have to." Ed smirked. "Next up, is Kenny!"

"Yo." Kenny came in, break danced, and sat on the couch.

"Sweet moves." Ed complimented. "I'm guessing that you don't care about your elimination, considering the fact that you quit."

"Yeah. I mean, I wanted the money, but..." Kenny announced.

"I get it. I can't believe we're moving this fast." Ed blinked.

"What about you?" Kenny asked.

"Uh...your call is very important to us and cannot be taken at this time. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep." Ed was nervous.

"We're live, dude." Kenny said. "So, how did you feel about your elimination?"

"...I wanted to murder everyone on that set." Ed looked down. Everyone gasped.

"Harsh." Kenny said.

"Hey, it's your fault!" Ed yelled.

"Nope. You agreed." Kenny said.

"The alliance was random! I don't care! I should be in the final two! UGH!" Ed yelled.

"Touchy." Kenny said.

"Y'know what? I'm outta here!" Ed stomped out.

"Cool." Kenny break danced and got back on the couch. "We've gotta interview my main man this time. C'mon out, Marshall!"

No one came out.

"Marshall? Marshall?" Kenny yelled. All of a sudden, someone dropped from the ceiling.

"It's M-Scope!" Marshall had appeared.

"Cool." Kenny said. "How do you feel about Ruby?"

"I wanna kill her. But she's the sweetest girl ever! So I'll let it slide. Ruby for the win!" Marshall cheered.

"How did your elimination feel?" Kenny asked.

"Horrible. I thought I had a good shot. But Ruby said that she didn't need any distractions, so she voted me out!" Marshall explained.

"I heard that you'll go to Charm School soon." Kenny commented.

"...Yes." Marshall said bitterly.

"Cool. How did you feel voting for yourself?" Kenny asked.

"What's with all the questions?" Marshall walked out.

"Bye, Marshall!" Kenny waved.

"M-SCOPE!" Marshall commented.

"Ella's turn." Kenny said. Ed busted in and blushed.

"Hey, Ed." Ella walked in and kissed Ed.

"Thanks, El. How did you feel about the elimination?" Ed asked.

"Bad, but now, I have you." She kissed Ed again.

"...Yeah, time's almost up. One last thing! Two people are returning to season two!" Ed announced.

"Me?" Kenny asked.

"No, Ruby and Terrence." Ed announced. "Anyway, goodbye!" Ed signed off abruptly.

Episode 10: The Very Last Episode, Sort Of!

Chris stood in front of a stadium. "The semifinal round of Total Drama Kingdom is over! The finals are beginning! Previously, we took a break and let you see what the eliminated contestants think. They revealed their true thoughts; Terrence no longer cares about the show, Jessie is okay with being out unfairly, Ed wants to kill his entire team, Kenny is okay with losing, and Marshall refuses to answer most of our questions. Also, Ella's a bit mad, but she's got Ed now, so...yeah..." Chris sounded nonchalant. "Finally, the final episode...sort of! But whatever! Ruby! Kelly! And $250,000! Who will win? Who will lose? Who will get 32% off on their car insurance thanks to Provincewide? Find out on the final, most thrilling, most athletic episode EVER on...




The theme song played.

"Final! Two! Final! Two!" Kelly cheered in the confessional.

"One more obstacle..." Ruby plotted in the confessional.

"I can't believe it! My popularity has led me to the FINAL TWO! EEEEEEEE!" Kelly said in the confessional.

"I wonder what the challenge will be? Will it ruin my clothes? Because these threads are designer." Ruby questioned herself in confessional.

"So...all I have to do is defeat Ruby! Then I'll be rich! Yay!" Kelly yelled in the confessional.

"You could not believe your hugs, if ten million lightning bugs, lit up the Earth as I went to bed..." Ruby sang in the confessional. "What? It's my hope song!"

"If only there was some way we could do another jury vote...but Chris said that there was a challenge." Kelly talked to herself in confessional.

"I like to make myself believe that this planet turns slowly..." Ruby sang in the confessional.

"So...if only I could just get all the money now." Kelly said in confessional.

"Now I give lots of hugs to the leaving lightning's only cuz I hate sad farewells..." Ruby wouldn't stop singing.

The next morning...7:00 AM...

"Wake up, final two!" Chris yelled through a megaphone.

"CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP!" Ruby randomly yelled as she shot out of bed.

"Five more minutes, mommy..." Kelly talked in her half-asleep state.

"We've got two-hundred-fifty thousand dollars to award, get over here." Chris said.

"Fine." Kelly and Ruby said simultaneously while getting out of bed.

Kelly and Ruby went over to where Chris was.

"Heeeey, final two." Chris said.

"Hello." Ruby said, dismally.

"Hey, Chris!" Kelly said, happily.

"Hello, and welcome to Total Drama Kingdom's Totally Dramatic Finale Smackdown!" Chris revealed a banner, but had something else to say. "No, seriously, we made a commercial and advertised it like that."

"Whatever. I'll still win." Ruby said.

"Tough luck." Kelly smirked.

Kelly was in the confessional. "Okay, if this were a jury vote, I would so rock! Popularity equals winning, you know."

"Girls, follow me. You've got an obstacle course to do." Chris announced.

"Darn." Kelly said. She then appeared in confessional. "So it's not a jury vote! I can still win this!"

"Come on!" Chris led them to the racing arena; however, it had been completely redesigned.

"Whoa..." Kelly gawked.

"Oh, please. Get on with it." Ruby spat.

"Fine, fine. First, the eliminated contestants pick sides, like always." Chris announced. "Terrence, pick a side."

Terrence came out of a random door with his head in a video game. "Kelly." He stood by the Kelly banner and kept playing.

"Um...okay." Chris said. "Jessie?"

"Kelly." Jessie jogged over to the Kelly banner.

"Wow...and you, Ed?" Chris asked.

"I'd say Kelly, but the court challenge was a nightmare because of her. So Ruby." Ed announced, and sat under the Ruby banner.

"Okay. Moving on." Chris tried to keep things moving.

"It's my turn, no need for applause." Kenny went and sat under the Ruby banner.

"Don't you hate narcissists?" Chris asked, although he himself is a narcissist. Ed glared at him. "Forget I said that."

"We all will." Ed remarked sarcastically.

"Next up...Marshall!" Chris ignored Ed's comment and called out the fourth place receiver.

Nothing happened.

"Marshall?" Chris asked. "Marshall?" Chris called.

"Hey, M-Scope! Get out here!" Ed yelled.

Marshall swung in on a cord. "AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI!!!!" He his his face on the Ruby banner.

"That was creepy..." Chris blinked.

"You're telling me..." Jessie breathed out as she jogged in place.

"Next up, the one we've all been waiting for, Ella!" Chris announced.

"Heh heh, not really." Marshall pointed out.

"SHUT UP, CREEP!" Ella yelled, but then she took a deep breath. "I'm picking Ruby because Ed's there, and because I hate Kelly with all my mind, heart and soul."

"Okay," Chris wanted to get it over with, "now, you have a complicated obstacle course to complete to decide the new quarter millionaire."

"Bring it." Ruby said, smirking.

"Sure, Ruby, why not?" Chris asked with sarcasm. "First, it's a key puzzle. You each get twelve keys which open two of twenty-four chests, each. There will be another key inside there, which is either worthless or will open one of those two doors. You have to look for a key to open your door. Simple right?"

"Not really." Kelly stated.

"Exactly." Chris flipped his hair, and continued. "Next! After opening your door, we set up a game of Move Move Revelation for you. You'll dance to Caramelldansen until you reach 2,000,000 points. Then it will present a code that will open one of two doors. Get the code and open the door."

"Cool." Kelly remarked.

"After that, you have to run a mile on one of those airport walkways that you stand on." Chris explained.

"Easy enough." Ruby gave her opinion.

"Did I mention that you'd be running the reverse way?" Chris smirked.

"Nope...heh...heh..." Ruby forced a chuckle.

"Then, finally, you have to choose one of your supporters to do the course! We built a replica! And the first supporter to do the course for their person is legally forced to present to quarter million check to the winner. Got it?" Chris finished explaining.

"" Kelly tried to get Chris to explain again, but failed.

"All right then! Ready!" Chris said as Kelly and Ruby both ran to get a bag of keys. "Set!" The peanut gallery, save Terrence, started biting their nails. "GO!"

"Time to WIN!" Ruby randomly grabbed a key and opened a chest.

"Beginner's luck." Kelly said with a slight smirk on her face. "But I'm the master!" Kelly chose a key and tried to open a chest. It didn't open. Neither did the next chest. Or the next. Kelly got a worried look on her face.

"Ha! I'll win this thing now!" Ruby had gone through 3 keys already. She ran to the door to test out her newest one. The door opened. "Yes!"

Kelly gasped. "No! I refuse to lose!" Kelly took a new key and went through 5 chests before opening one. She tried the key, but it didn't work. She kept going to another chest, which opened. "This isn't a good system, is it?" Suddenly, Caramelldansen came blaring from behind the door. "Crud!" Kelly tried the new key, but it failed. She took another key, found a chest that opened, took the key to the door, failed, looked for another chest, and repeated the cycle. She took another key and opened a chest. The key worked, and she went through.

"Huff...huff..." Ruby was at 500,000 points. Half of halfway there.

"I WILL catch up!" Kelly joined in the dancing as she turned the mechanism on. The directions started to come to her. She began.

"One million - halfway there! Living on a prayer, baby!" Ruby kept going.

"Crap!" Kelly kept dancing. She got to 500,000 quickly.

"Oh, she's good!" Ruby glared at Kelly and then turned to the screen. "Oh, I have 1,900,002 points! Yay!"

"Darn it! But I am good." Kelly smiled and got to 1,500,000 points.

"She IS good!" Ruby kept going, but then looked at the screen. It said, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU WON... Nothing happened.

"Huh?" Kelly kept dancing. She had one hundred thousand points left to go.

"Oh, here it is." Ruby picked up a piece of paper that came out of a slot.

"She's got the code! Eep!" Kelly kept going, but started panting. Her score's speed dropped rapidly.

"Yes!" Ruby went through the door. She started running on the walkway, but tripped. She got up, but tripped again. And again. And again. "Darn! THIS IS SO HARD!" Ruby complained.

"Just run backwards!" a voice said. Kelly had gotten past the Caramelldansen stage, and was running backwards on the walkway.

"Chris? Isn't that illegal?" Ruby shouted.

"No." Chris's voice was projected.

"UGH!" Ruby started running backwards.

"This is easy!" Kelly was smiling, but then she fell backwards and hit her head. Ruby caught up.

"Sorry, Kelly. I'd help you, but I've got a quarter million to score." Ruby kept going.

"Jerk." Kelly eventually got up and kept going.

"YES!" Kelly heard Ruby's voice. "Now I choose Ed!"

"Darn! She's already there!" Kelly kept going backwards. By the time Ed got to Caramelldansen, Kelly had completed the course. A lift took her to her banner. "I pick Terrence!" Kelly pointed to Terrence.

Terrence had his head in a video game. "Don't know, don't care."

"Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!" Jessie jumped.

"You're the only one left. Duh." Kelly said.

"I'll take that as a yes!" Jessie, instead of looking for keys, kicked the door open.

"Chris? Isn't that illegal?" Ed asked, while dancing. He had a million points.

"No." Chris's voice was projected.

"Deja vu." Ruby said under her breath. She was at her banner, watching Ed on a TV.

"Tell me about it!" Jessie turned on her machine. "Oh, yeah! Time to Car-a-mell-dan-sen!" She started.

"Burning fat." Ed laughed.

"SHUT UP!" Jessie went so fast, she got to 1,500,000 in a minute.

"OH MY GOSH! YOU ARE GOOD!" Ed went faster, and caught up to Jessie. However, Jessie was on the walkway. Ed joined her.

"It's a battle of the jocks, people!" Chris announced.

"Cool." Kenny commented.

"Go Ed!" Ella cheered.

"Yeah, Ed!" Marshall cheered.

"Go, Ed! Win me that cash!" Ruby yelled.

"Wait...I just remembered something!" Ed slowed down.

"What?" Jessie asked.

"I'm doing this so that Ruby can get money!" Ed had a somewhat angry look on his face.

"And I'm doing this for Kelly? I don't even LIKE her!" Jessie shouted.

"Exactly!" Ed said.

"What are we doing?" Jessie asked.

"Well, we should probably finish this, either way. A race to decide the most athletic." Ed suggested.

"You're on!" Jessie said. They ran and ran and ran, until one emerged victorious!

That night...

There was a crowd, cheering as Chris entered the amphitheater stage. "After nine vicious days, I am proud to say that the winner of Total Drama Kingdom is...

KELLY!" Chris finished. The crowd cheered.

Kelly came onstage. "Thank you! Thank you!"

"Kelly, you get the last Gilded Chris!" Chris handed Kelly a Gilded Chris. "And now the money!"

"Yay!" Kelly was handed a check for a quarter million.

"And now, the other competitors!" Chris said. A curtain lifted to reveal Ed, Ella, Ruby, Terrence (playing a video game), Marshall, Kenny, and Jessie.

"So, yay, I won! And I'm rich!" Kelly cheered.

"Sorta." Ruby commented.

"Nyaaah." Kelly stuck her tongue out at Ruby.

"Fight over, fight over." Chris told the girls. "Now, you all know about season two!"

"We do." Ed and Kenny said, simultaneously.

"And you're the only ones. Okay, we're having a season two, and the audience voted two characters back in. For those of you who missed the aftermath episode, well have a little celebration here; if I give you a piece of candy, you're NOT in season two." Chris explained.

"Cool." Marshall commented.

"Marshall gets the first candy!" Chris announced.

"...Crap." Marshall grumbled.

"Kelly isn't returning, and neither is Jessie!" Chris gave them both candies.

"Darn..." Kelly looked to the floor.

"Ella? Ed? Come get the candy." Chris waggled his finger.

"DARN!" Ella yelled.

"Meh. I'm fine." Ed took his candy and popped it in his mouth.

"And finally, Kenny will not compete in season two." Chris finished.

"YES! Second chances!" Ruby danced.

"Huh? What?" Terrence looked up from his game.

"We're coming back for season two!" Ruby cheered.

"NOOOOOO!" Terrence dropped his game, and then looked down. "DOUBLE NOOOOOO!"

"Well, that's all for season one. Tune in for a possible reunion! From me, Chris McLean, and Kelly the winner, tune in on February 19, 2010 for the premiere of TOTAL...DRAMA...FLASHBACK!" Chris finished.


Bonus Material

Elimination Table

Contestant 1 2 3 4 5 7 8 10
Jessie WIN OUT1
Terrence OUT


  • Red Name Panel = This contestant was a Killer Knight.
  • Orange Name Panel = This contestant was a Crazy King.
  • Black Name Panel, Red Name = This contestant is a Black Ace (merge contestant), but was previously on the Killer Knights.
  • Black Name Panel, Orange Name = This contestant was a Black Ace (merge contestant), but was previously on the Crazy Kings.
  • Light Blue Panel = That contestant/team won the challenge that episode.
  • Green Panel = That contestant lost the challenge, but moved on to the next episode because they received a button/award.
  • Yellow Panel = That contestant lost the challenge and moved on to the next episode but got the final button/award.
  • Red Panel = That contestant was eliminated.
  • Dark Blue Panel, White Text = That contestant quit the competition.
  • 1 = Ruby told Chris that mysteriously eliminating Jessie would boost ratings.

Theme Song

(To the tune of "I Wanna Be Famous")

Dear Mom and Dad, I don't know why (Ruby is writing a letter)

My happiness is so dry (Terrence thumps Ruby and shows her a video game, Ruby kicks Terrence)

But this kingdom is alright to me (Terrence climbs out through the window into a garden where Ella is lifting weights)

And I think I know my destiny (Jessie is jogging on a trail bordering a lake next to the garden)

I'm gonna be king (Marshall is surfing in a lake)

I wanna live royal life (Marshall trips Jessie)

But this place brings me strife (Jessie pushes Marshall into the lake)

I have to prove that I'm the best (Kelly comes up from underwater, scares Marshall, laughs, and gets out of the lake)

This castle's no jest (Jessie looks at Kelly awkwardly, then Ed runs to Jessie)

I'm gonna be king (Kenny is between Jessie and Ed, and they stare at him in awe)

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na (All characters run towards the castle)

I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be King (Chris stops them at the door)

I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be King (Jessie kicks Chris and everyone enters the castle, Chris runs after them)

(Everyone is in the courtroom whistling the tune, then the logo for Total Drama Kingdom appears)

Title Parodies

  1. The Sword in the Stone
  2. The Ride to London Town
  3. Star Wars/Original
  4. A Kid in King Arthur's Court
  5. Fear Factor
  6. Third Degree Burns
  7. Million Dollar Baby
  8. Original
  9. Formula One Racing
  10. TDA Aftermath
  11. The Very Last Episode, Really!

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.