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Gildedchris

This is a Featured Story. That means that it was voted to be one of the best and most beloved stories on the wiki.
Gildedchris


Years ago, Total Drama was cancelled, but left its mark by starting the trend of teen reality shows. Now, the new holders of the rights to Total Drama set out to cash in on the craze by making a reboot of the popular franchise, with an 'American' version of the show! Three struggling actors host in America's capital of Washington, D.C. where twenty-two teens compete for two million dollars along fame and fortune. Who will win the show? Who will lose? And will the show be a success or the last cliff note in Total Drama's history...

Now has a tropes page here

Characters[]

Staff

Rhonda- Hostess 

Jenny- Co-hostess

Toby - Co-host

Contestants[]

Aiden- The American Patriot 

Bethany- The All Star

Cynthia- The Sociopath 

Diamonique- The Scatterbrain 

Easton- The Older Twin

Frannie- The Circus Act

Griswold- The Lineman

Hayden- The Big Brother

Ignacio- Mr. Fanservice

Jasper- Some Nobody

Kalino- The Slacker

Lita- The Knockout

Melissa- The Sweetheart

Ness- The Jinx

Pascal- The Pop Star

Riley- The Bro

Seraphina- The Psychic

Tessa- The Big Shot

Vance- The Rodeo Champ

Weston- The Younger Twin

Xidorn- The Straight Shooter

Zipporah- The Token Goth

Images[]

Chapters[]

Chapter 1 Total Drama Goes to Washington (Part One)[]

"No, no over there!”

“I put it over there earlier!”

“Then you’ll have no trouble putting it there again!”

An old woman glanced up from her magazine. She had only been in Washington for a few days, yet she had gotten use to the busy nature of the metro stations. Today was different. Scurrying around the plaza were camera crews, grips, gaffers, makeup artists and other such ‘behind the scene’ workers.

Two young ones were arguing about where to place a bundle of balloons, while others hung a banner.

“What’s happening here?” the old woman asked herself. 

The girl sitting next to her looked up from her scripts. “Didn’t you hear? This station is the premiere of a reality show!”

“Reality show?” the old woman replied. “Which one?”

“Total Drama."

The old woman tilted her head in confusion. “Total Drama… is it one of those teen reality shows networks keep trying to pass off?”

The girl squirmed a little. “Well, kind of. It was a popular show in Canada that had a cult following in the US. It basically started the trend of teenage reality shows.”

“Oh yes!” the old woman recalled. “I remember watching a few of those early seasons. Whatever happened to that show?”

The girl scowled. “Budget issues, lawsuits, a big drop in ratings, failed merchandise…the network pulled the plug. An international corporation bought it and tried to revive it. Tried to make an American version. That plan had issues though. It never got on air and the show was cancelled…again.”

“So why is it back now?” the old woman inquired.

“Well it’s like you said,” the girl replied, “a lot of networks are making reality shows starring teenagers, all trying to mimic Total Drama. Despite all of its later seasons' flaws, the original was still a huge success. The corporation still has the rights, but they expire soon. They're having success with a version only airing in Canada. The network head is a huge fan of the show, so we got another reboot. A real American version of Total Drama.”

“I might just have to watch it,” the old woman said. “Is that old host returning? I remember him being rather handsome.”

“No,” the girl replied, “he left the franchise after a health scare to pursue his acting career. Then he did some bad movies and afterwards…disappeared. Some say he went to jail for some illegal scam. Others say he ran away with his big, burly assistant to a private island. Some insist he died a long time ago.”

“That's a darn shame,” the woman stated. “Who is the new host?”

The girl smiled.

She peered into the old woman’s magazine. She flipped a few pages before stopping, pointing at a picture. The picture was of a young woman, the magazine said her age but she could pass for younger. She was simple, with brunette hair and hazel eyes, dressed in a purple hoodie and average jeans.

“Hmm,” the old woman said, "she seems rather plain and frumpy to actually host a big TV show, don’t you think?”

Rhonda!” a voice called. “Get over here, the show’s about to start."

The young girl stood up and scowled at the old lady. “Thanks for that.”

Rhonda walked up to the mass of balloons, where a boy and girl about Rhonda’s age argued.

The girl was a petite, short youth with a freckled face and a slightly pointed nose. She wore a lime green shirt underneath a worn out pair of overalls, that she coordinated with high-top purple sneakers, which lit up when she walked or stomped her feet. Her orange ponytail bobbed from side to side as she shook her head.

In contrast, the boy was rather tall, though his hunching posture made it less noticeable. His face seemed to have a frown permanently carved into it. He dressed in a plain gray sweatshirt covered in woodchips and jeans stained with grease spots. His baby blue eyes were hardly noticeable due to the heavy, dark circles surrounding them.

“I’m here,” Rhonda said, “How long till the show starts?”

“Oh it started three minutes ago!” the redhead replied. “We’ve been filming you talking to the old broad.”

“What!” Rhonda exclaimed. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“We were on break,” the blonde said.

“Union laws,” the redhead added.

“Remind me of why you two idiots are here again?” Rhonda sighed.

“Because we’re your only friends not from the Internet and you couldn’t get anyone else,” the redhead replied. “Remember?”

“We’re still filming,” the blonde stated.

Rhonda turned to a cameraman and forced a smile. “Hello. And welcome to…Total Drama Genesis.”

The camera panned up to the banner, announcing Total Drama Genesis in blue letters.

Rhonda nodded. “I’m your host Rhonda and these two knuckleheads are my co-hosts, Jenny and Toby. You might recognize me as the co-host of Canada's most recent season.”

“Probably not though,” Jenny admitted.

“Well, we're big fans of reality television,” Rhonda continued. “We’re here in Washington, D.C. to bring you the return of one of reality TV’s biggest darlings; Total Drama! Like the original, twenty-two teens will compete on our show. They’ll live together in close quarters, duke it out in intense challenges, and vote off one another in ceremonies until only two are left to compete for the grand prize; now two million dollars! Who will be able to conquer the toughest, grossest, intensest competition ever? Let’s find out!"


A loud screech echoed through the station. A subway halted to a stop at the gates, releasing a stampede of travelers into the metro.

“We’ll be meeting our cast of newcomers here,” Rhonda explained. “They’ll be getting off the subway any-“

The hostess was interrupted by a basketball to the face, knocking her to the ground.

“That must be one of our newbies now.”

“I’m so sorry about that!"

A tall woman jogged up to the hosts. She was a muscular girl of African-American descent, who towered over the hosts at over six feet tall. Her jet-black hair was cut in a bob that sported a red sweatband. It matched the bands on her wrists and the red striped sneakers on her feet. Her red jersey was numbered with a '1', perfect for her red shorts.

The basketball bounced onto the jockette's left finger, who spun it while she helped Rhonda up. The athlete carried all her luggage in a single Harlem Globetrotter brand duffel bag.

“Crap, you alright?” the athlete asked.

“Fine,” Rhonda replied, “the only thing hurt was my pride. Anyway, it’s nice to have you on the show Bethany.”

Bethany blushed. “Again, I’m so so so so so so so so-”

“-It’s cool,” Rhonda said. “I see you came in your uniform.”

“Yeah. It’s for the best shot-put team ever; the Shelbyville Lady Canaries!”

Bethany laughed. “I figured this was going to be a tough competition, so I should dress for it. It's going to be tough, right?”

Rhonda smirked. “Oh, you have no idea.”


"I see our next contestant,” Toby stated.

The camera scanned the horizon and focused in on the middle of a crowd, where sky blue hair stood out a mile away. As the crowd dispersed, it turned out to be a thin Asian boy, who smiled wide.

The camera zoomed in on his black sweatshirt, featuring a deformed sea monster howling at the moon, with the words ‘Part Of Your World’ printed in pink cursive at the top. The man's purple jeans were held up by rainbow suspenders. He shouldered a panda backpack, while he carried an instrument case in one hand and a camera case in the other.

“Welcome Xidorn,” Rhonda said.

Xidorn sat his stuff down and shook Rhonda’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to be here.”

"Cool instrument case," Bethany said, analyzing all the stickers and decorations on it.

“Thanks” Xidorn replied, "I play the french horn. I see you're a Harlem Globetrotters fan."

Bethany blushed. "No! Er yeah...kind of. My dad's a super fan."

“So how was the metro Xidorn?” Rhonda asked.

“To be honest,” Xidorn admitted, "It was…uncomfortable; some of the people on there…made me anxious.”

“Really?” Rhonda questioned. “How so?”

“It was just this one person in the corner who…oh my god. They followed me…”

“Who?”

Xidorn started to shake. “Behind you…”

Bethany raised an eyebrow. “What do you…”

Bethany froze. She felt a deep breath exhale on her neck. Slowly, she turned around. There was no one.

Xidorn shook even more. “Where did…”

The two arrivals turned around in a fright as they heard a clang. Even the hosts spun around as a new contestant dropped their stuff off.

“That’s the person,” Xidorn whispered, “from the subway.”

A young girl stood in front of them. She looked mostly normal; she was of average height, and was wearing a school uniform that consisted of a buttoned, white shirt with rolled up sleeves, a dark blue skirt and black flats. Yet her hair was naturally white and her skin extremely pale. Her face was expressionless and her grey eyes showed no emotion. The woman carried a nondescript black bag.

Rhonda trembled. “Oh hello Cynthia.. uh, how long have you been here?”

She stared back.

“It's not at all terrifying to meet you Cynthia,” Bethany greeted as she took deep breaths. Xidorn cowered behind her.

Cynthia said nothing.

"We were just talking about what we like to do," Bethany said. "I umm…play sports, and well Xidorn plays French horn. What do you do?”

Cynthia unzipped her bag. The newcomers peered inside to see a chainsaw, knives, a can of gasoline and a group of black trash bags.

“Oh god,” Xidorn whimpered.


Another subway arrived. The newcomers and hosts walked ahead to try and see through the crowd. When they stepped back, Cynthia was gone. In her place were shards of broken glass arranged into a eye.

"Are you okay Xidorn?” Bethany asked.

“Honestly,” Xidorn admitted, “I peed myself a little.”

“Same,” Rhonda stated. “Uh, I mean here come our next arrivals!”

Dashing forward were two twins. They were kind of muscular, yet also kind of skinny. The twins were black and their hair was shaved completely bald. Their shorts were grey, as were their sneakers. The only difference between the two was that one wore a green sweatshirt with a yellow spiral, while the other wore a yellow sweatshirt with a green spiral.

“Hi,” the first twin greeted. “This is my brother Weston.”

“And this is my brother Easton,” the other twin added.

“A pleasure to have you two here,” Rhonda said. “So, why did you two decide to join the show?”

“Well I always wanted to compete on a reality show,” Easton stated. “And Weston thought…”

“It’d be fun if we competed together,” Weston finished. “And together…”

“We’re going to kick butt!” the twins shouted in unison.

“I’m already confused as to who is who,” Rhonda whispered to Toby.

“You do know we're right here?” Easton asked. “And we…"

But before Weston could finish their thought, the next subway pulled up. Unlike before however, the crowd quietly started to part. They stared and gasped at a confident girl who marched through.

Bethany gasped. "Holy crap! Isn’t that the gymnast who won a gold medal at the Summer Olympics?”

“The one on all the talk shows?” Xidorn added with a grimace.

Rhonda nodded. “That's Tessa.”

Tessa strutted forward. She had long, light brunette hair in a ponytail and dark, green eyes. Except for the gold medal that hung around her neck, Tessa dressed like a normal girl, wearing a green flowery shirt, white pants, and brown boots. Upon seeing the other newcomers, Tessa scrunched her nose.

“Tessa, it’s great to have you here,” Rhonda welcomed.

Tessa didn’t reply, as she studied the faces of the current arrivals.

“Wow, I can’t believe we’re meeting a celebrity!” Easton said.

“Me either!” Weston added.

Bethany hyperventilated. "Ermygoshyou'retotallyfamous...I mean, nice to meet you. I'm an athlete too!"

“Really?” Tessa replied.

“Not like you,” Bethany admitted. “You're a professional! I feel like this competition just got a lot more serious.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Tessa stated. “I am not one of those competitive ‘jock’ types, unlike…certain people.”

“Oh…okay?”

“So, why are you here?” Easton asked.

“Yeah,” Weston added.

“I wanted to,” Tessa said, "what’s it to you?”

“Just curious is all,” Easton replied.

"Yeah, just curious," Weston said. 

Tessa glared at the other arrivals, who backed away.

“I’m trapped with a bunch of meatheads,” Tessa whispered, rolling her eyes.


Another metro arrived. The crowd rushed out, yet people started falling down like dominoes. Pushing her way to the front was a short and plump African-American girl. She dressed in a silvery sequin top, apple-bottom brand jeans and fur ugg boots. She accessorized it with gold, dangle hoop earrings and a raspberry beret on her brunette weave with blond highlights. Her arms were laced with shopping bags, while she carried a doggie bag in her fist.

"Hey lady,” she said to Rhonda, in a slow, yet deep voice. “I’m looking for that Total Drama show. You seen it?”

Rhonda pointed up at the banner right above her.

“So they’re upstairs?” the girl asked.

“We’re right here Diamonique,” Rhonda sighed.

“Whoa, how did you know my name?” Diamonique asked.

“I’m the host of the show."

"Okay, but how did you know my name?”

Rhonda facepalmed. “Why so many bags?”

"I took an early flight so I could go shopping,” Diamonique admitted. 

“Did you enjoy the subway?”

“Eh, it was fine breakfast but I think it’s better as a lunch place,” Diamonique replied. “So, do you or do you not know where that Total Drama show is?”

A hearty laugh rang out through the metro station. Behind the scatterbrain was a large man, almost as tall as Bethany and as wide as Diamonique. He wore a red football varsity jacket, cargo pants and sneakers. He had a bit of a stubble on his chin to match his brunette pompadour.

He patted Diamonique on the back while he chuckled, almost knocking the girl over.

“You’re a riot!"

“Nice to have you here Griswold,” Rhonda stated.

“My name’s Diamonique,” the ditz stated.

“How did you get a name like that?” Griswold asked.

“My parents let me rename myself for a birthday,” Diamonique replied. “So I named myself after my birthstone and Monique.”

“I was actually born in April too," Griswold replied. 

“April?” Diamonique asked. “I was born in September.”

Griswold laughed again as he marched on. Diamonique shrugged, walking away and as she pulled a taco out of her to-go bag. 

"Coolio, another athlete!” Bethany stated as she and Griswold high-fived.

“I’ve got to represent my primo team after we became state champions this year!” Griswold announced. “Go Bulldogs!”

“Great,” Tessa mumbled to herself, rubbing her temples. “Another cocky jock.”


Rhonda looked for the next subway, when Toby tapped her shoulder. He pointed to the stairs. A young man entered carrying a large backpack, jogging down the steps. He beamed a smile. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and an athletic build. He wore an American flag T-shirt, a red baseball cap and a pair of long military camo pants.

He marched up to Rhonda, and then saluted her. “Good day mam’.”

“Hey Aiden,” Rhonda greeted. “Welcome to the show!”

Aiden nodded and marched over to the others.

“Dude, you didn't take the subway?” Xidorn asked.

“Oh, I’ve lived in Washington D.C. my whole life,” Aiden bragged. “I would have been here sooner, but I had to go see all of our great nation’s monuments…and cry at the symbolism and majesty of them.”

“Okay...” Xidorn replied, “but don't you live here?”

“Yeah, that's what I do every morning.”

“It's good to be proud of your country," Rhonda said. “I’m actually very proud to be in the state of Washington, at my nation’s capital.”

“Mam' you do know that Washington D.C. isn’t in the state of Washington, right?” Aiden questioned.

“WHAT?” Rhonda asked. “I thought it was like New York City in New York. What state are we in?”

"We aren’t in a state,” Aiden replied. “We’re in the district of Columbia.”

Rhonda’s eye twitched in annoyance. “So the United States capital isn’t even a state? That’s kind of stupid.”

“I think it works,” Aiden said. “Washington acts as neutral ground for the other states.”

“We should’ve named our capital after something American,” Diamonique stated. "Like the first president or something."

“You mean George Washington?” Tessa questioned.

"Who the heck is that guy!?” Diamonique asked.


Jenny pointed. “Ooh, I can see our next victim approaching!”

Everyone looked and saw as the newest arrival, a girl, approached the growing mass of teens. She frowned.

Seraphina,” Rhonda stated to the girl. “How’s it going girl?”

“Alright."

Seraphina was of average height for a girl her age. Her skin was pale and coordinated rather well with her long, dark auburn hair and somewhat squinty hazel eyes. Draped over the shoulders of lavender tee was a wool shawl. She wore simple blue jeans and white sneakers with a lavender stripe. Printed on her shirt in white letters was, ‘Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

“So, you excited to be here?” Rhonda asked.

Seraphina shrugged. “I guess.”

A few brief seconds passed. Seraphina raised her eyebrows and walked into the mass of arrivals.

“Nice to meet you Seraphina," Xidorn said. 

“Uh...” Seraphina replied. “Yeah, right back at you.”

Xidorn held out his hand. Seraphina drew back, accidentally dropping her bag. It spilled an archaic set of cards all over the platform. Seraphina immediately reached down and started scooping them up.

“Let me help you dude,” Griswold said, as he and others tried to help pick them up.

What are those?” Tessa asked, not moving.

“They're called none of your business,” Seraphina replied.

“Aren’t these tarot cards?” Griswold asked.

“Don’t you know that stuff is mumbo jumbo?” Tessa stated.

Seraphina rolled her eyes. “I had no idea, but thanks for informing me.”

“Cool!” Easton said, picking up a card.

“Yeah cool,” Weston added.

“Are you a psychic?” Easton asked.

Seraphina sighed. “Kind of. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not,” Tessa stated, “it’s sad; I’ll have you know that I don’t support who-blah like that.”

“I care deeply."

“Hey pals, let's stay cool,” Aiden stated. 

"I’m just using my right to free speech,” Tessa snapped back. “It’s an amendment and you can’t respond with telling me I shouldn’t.”

“Actually, while we do have a right to free speech, people do have a right to respond negatively,” Aiden said. “So while you could argue we can say whatever we want, we also can be held to those consequences that-“

“-Shut it!”

“Fine,” Seraphina stated. “If she wants to use her free speech, so will I; you’re a ****ing *****.

Griswold stepped between the two girls. “Hey dudettes; let’s all take a chill pill and talk this out.”

Tessa scoffed and sulked off.

Seraphina rolled her eyes and walked to the back of the group. "I knew this show was a bad idea..."

“Or not,” Griswold mumbled to himself. “That works too.”


Another subway arrived. One of the last to leave was a short girl, with dirty-blonde hair. The youth was dressed in a brown sweatshirt, a black skirt, black leggings and brown boots. Her left arm was bandaged.

She glanced to the sides, as if crossing the street. Walking forward, she saw the banner and waved at everyone…before tripping and tumbling into a waste bin. Trying to crawl out, it tipped over and she busted her chin on the floor.

“Oww."

“Ouch,” Griswold cringed, "bogus.”

Immediately another passenger from the subway, a bright blue-eyed boy, rushed over. The young man was tall and brawny, with curly strawberry blonde hair. He wore a light blue plaid shirt, the top buttons undone, and well worn jeans.

The man grabbed the girl's hand and helped her up. “You alright kid?”

The girl blushed and nodded.

“She’s probably just faking it for attention,” Tessa grumbled to herself.

“Nice to see you Ness and Hayden,” Rhonda said to the girl and man respectively.

“Thanks,” Hayden replied, “I’m thrilled. Now, are you sure you're not hurt sprout? That was quite the fall.”

“It’s okay, it tends to happen,” Ness admitted.

“Where's your luggage Ness?” Rhonda asked.

Ness blushed. “Well a homeless, crazy subway lady kind of…sort of…punched me and stole all of my stuff. It’s not important. I’m just really, really excited to be here.”

“We’re excited to have you,” Rhonda reassured.


The next subway came on to the scene. The first passenger off wasn’t a person, but a ring-tailed lemur! Jumping off people’s heads, it landed on the camera and tilted it to back to the metro exit.

People were knocked out of the door by someone unicycling. It was a clown; a purple haired girl, dressed in a colorful outfit, complete with a flower pinned to her chest. Like classic clowns, she wore big red shoes, a big red nose and even had her face powdered and painted in clown makeup. She somersaulted off the unicycle, performing a split right in front of Rhonda. The hosts and most of the other arrivals clapped as the clown bowed.

"Put it there!" the clown said to Rhonda.

Rhonda shook the clown's hand, only to be shocked by a joy buzzer.

The clown snorted and held her hands up to her face, only to shock herself. She giggled more.

"Sorry, but what can I say? I have an electric personality."

Everyone groaned.

Rhonda coughed up smoke. "Wonderful to have you Frannie."

“Great to be here Rhonnie,” Frannie said. “Do you mind if I call you Rhonnie? I’m calling you Rhonnie. Or what about Rhonda Stoppable? Or Rhondonalido? Rhon-Rhon? Nope, gonna go back to Rhonnie.”

The lemur wheeled over the unicycle, now draped in Frannie’s bags. Frannie petted the primate and allowed it to crawl on to her shoulder. 

“What is that?” Tessa asked.

“I’m a clown,” Frannie replied. “I thought that was obvious...”

“On your shoulder,” Tessa grunted.

“Ohh,” Frannie replied. “This is Ziba. She’s my pet lemur, though some say I’m more her pet, am I right Ziba?”

The lemur rolled her eyes.

“That was awesommmmme,” a hazy voice stated.

Walking over now was a tall, extremely skinny guy of Pacific-Islander descent. He wore an unbuttoned Hawaiian T-shirt and cargo shirts. His black hair was cut short, matching a soul patch he had grown.  His eyes seemed to always be closed. He carried barely any luggage.

“Now here comes Kalino,” Rhonda stated.

“You were all like, 'woosh', and I was like, ‘huhhhh’, and then I was like, ‘woahhhh’,” Kalino described. “And then I was all…’huhhhh’ again.”

“I didn’t know we had a poet,” Seraphina stated.


There was a gasp. People turned their heads as a white horse charged down the stairs.

“Hi-ho Tinfoil!” the rider yelled, as the horse lept over the other arrivals and landed in front of Rhonda.

The horse neighed and it threw its head back, letting its mane dance in the wind. The horse’s rider tossed his white cowboy hat back and waved it around.

Jumping down was a short lad, though he seemed taller with the heels on his silver spurred boots. White and silver seemed to be his signature colors; his suit was white and adorned with silver tassels and finishes. His belt was the only exception, a gold, oversized champion’s belt.

Under his white hat was messy red hair, and under his nose was a matching curly mustache. He turned to the other arrivals, winked one of his dark-green eyes and flashed a smile, revealing a missing front tooth. He looked much older than the other arrivals. 

“Wonderful entrance Vance,” Rhonda stated.

Vance tipped his hat over his face and leaned against a dark pillar.

“Aw shoot, it’s just what I do everyday.” His voice sounded more redneck than southern.

Rhonda grimaced. “Be careful…”

“Oh don’t worry little lady,” Vance said. “I’m an expert.”

“You’re leaning against wet paint."

Vance shot up and blushed, throwing off his now cow print jacket.

“Bro that’s a sweet horse,” Griswold said. “That your deputy or something?”

“Oh I got no clue who this here horse is,” Vance replied as he took off his luggage. “I just found ‘em and took ‘em for a ride.”

Vance slapped the horse’s rear end, which sent it charging up the stairs into the streets.


A ringing went off as the next subway made it's entrance.

“That’s my phone,” Toby stated. “I’ll be right back.”

As Toby stepped away, the passengers exited into the station. One particular passenger moon-walked out of the metro however.

Flipping around and striking a pose, he noticed the camera and waved. He was a young man about average height with some Asian heritage. His black hair was in a swished, bowl-cut style, like a boy band member, and under an orange knit cap. He was muscular, as his blue, sleeveless tank showed. He wore designer jeans and name-brand white sneakers. His blue eyes seemed to be made of sparkles.

Ness gasped as she saw him, almost tripping over her own feet.

Jogging over, the boy took Rhonda’s hand and shook it. “Yipee Skippy! I made it!"

“I’m glad you’re so enthusiastic Pascal,” Rhonda replied.

“I’ve been a big fan of Total Drama since back in the day,” Pascal stated. “It’s why I started doing reality shows!”

“Well we’re happy to have one of the most popular show jumpers on our reboot."

Pascal rubbed the back of his head. “Thanks. It’s like I always say, believe to achieve!"

“Wasn’t that your first single?”

Pascal nodded. “Top of the charts for two weeks straight. But I’m not here to focus on my highly successful music career, I’m here to focus on the show. I believed I’d get on Total Drama, and now I achieved it! And if we all believe, with all of our hearts, we can achieve.”

He took his luggage and joined the others as Rhonda shed a few tears.

“Hmm,” Seraphina said to herself, as Pascal passed by.

Kalino sniffed the air. “Woah, does anyone smell…cookies?”


Walking down the steps was a young lady with somewhat dark features, carrying a ceramic plate wrapped in tinfoil. She was a little short and had her curly black hair in short pigtails tied with pink ribbons. Likewise, her light pink shirt had a darker pink Breast Cancer Awareness ribbon on it, while her jeans and sneakers were plain. Her only luggage was a duffel bag. She smiled as she approached.  

“Wonderful to see you Melissa,” Rhonda greeted.

“Hi Ms. Rhonda,” Melissa greeted. “I apologize for being so tardy. There was some kind of serious traffic accident, something involving a horse…”

Vance whistled innocently, except he didn’t know how to whistle, so he more or less spat everywhere.

“But it’s not that poor pony’s fault I’m delayed,” Melissa admitted. “You see I wanted to bake cookies for everyone!”

The mass of teens swarmed Melissa, each taking a heart-shaped cookie.

“I hope it’s all right I made snicker-doodles,” Melissa stated. “I love them because they have such a funny name, though every cookie is unique and special in its own way!”

Tessa refused a cookie. “Oh, how clever of you to try and win over everyone for the competition.”

“Or maybe Melissa is just a nice person,” Xidorn defended.

“Unlike some of us here,” Seraphina added.

“Competition?” Melissa asked.

“Melissa was a late addition to the show,” Rhonda clarified. “As in, we were desperate to fill an open spot during the last two days. She lives in Washington and was nice enough to help some our crew, so we gave her a spot.”

“I’m just glad I could help someone in need,” Melissa replied.

“And I thought these cookies were sugary,” Seraphina stated, munching on her second cookie. 

“You’re a local?” Aiden questioned.

“Oh, I’ve only been living here a week now,” Melissa confessed. “Though it is different from small-town Wisconsin, there’s something magical about living in your nation’s beautiful capital.”

Aiden’s smile widened. “Gee whiz, that’s exactly how I feel! I’ve lived here my whole life! You know, if you ever want a tour I’d be happy to give one to you.”

Melissa blushed. “I’d love that.”

“America sure is a fine place,” Tessa scoffed, “if you’re blind.”

WHOA NOW,” Aiden stated. “I’ll be the first to admit America has made a lot of mistakes that aren’t acknowledged enough. We still have some real issues. Yet, we do have certain liberties you won’t find in a lot of nations. We've done a lot of good for a relatively young nation.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Melissa added. “Didn’t you represent the US in the Olympics?”

"That doesn’t make me ignorant,” Tessa stated. “Maybe you’ve just been living too cozy to be aware of what’s actually going on.”

Before anyone could say more, Tessa sulked off again.

“That’s funny,” Jenny said, “I thought that last subway would have more newbies.”

“It did. I’ve been trying to talk to the staff, but no one’s been paying attention to me.”

The hostesses turned to see some guy standing behind them. He was um…there. He had some luggage and brown hair or something. He wore some shoes and pants and a shirt with some stripes I think.

“Who are you?” Jenny asked. “I mean I didn’t actually look at who the newbies were but...”

“I’m Jasper,” that guy said.

"I don’t remember a Casper,” Rhonda admitted. “And I’ve been studying the cast for weeks.”

An intern rushed over and whispered in the hostess’ ear.

Rhonda blushed. “Oh right, Jasper! I apologize; it’s been a stressful day.”

“It’s fine,” Jason Jasper said, “I-“ 

“-Wait!” Jenny interrupted, “Isn’t that the guy with the famous brother in his audition tape, before me and Toby lost it? You know, who we thought was auditioning?”

Rhonda elbowed Jenny.

“It’s fine,” Jake Jasper sighed, walking to the other arrivals. “I’m just glad to be here.”


Toby walked back over to his co-hosts, closing his flip phone. “One of the interns 'happily' informed me that Ignacio is on the upcoming metro.”

Rhonda and several interns squealed while the cameraman fainted. 

"Who is Ignacio?” Xidorn questioned.

Rhonda swooned. “Only one of the most attractive people ever!”

She pulled out a photo out of her pocket. It was of a tall, handsome man of Hispanic heritage. He had a serious expression, and was staring off in the distance with his caramel eyes. He wore nothing except a tight pair of black briefs. He had well developed pecs and a twelve pack.

“Dang!” Frannie exclaimed. “I’d eat off a body like that! It’d be a lot better than most of the bodies I eat off…”

“I’ve never met him personally,” Rhonda admitted.

“Yet you carry a photo of him?” Seraphina asked.

Rhonda turned red and shoved the photo away. “What…no this was uh…I was holding this for um…Toby!”

"Toby already has his own photo!” Jenny yelled. Toby blushed. 

“You don’t?” Diamonique asked.

“Do I look like I have cooties?” Jenny replied.

“Yes,” Toby said.

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny yelled.

Everyone hushed and turned, as a subway pulled in. As people exited the metro, a teenager with luggage walked over to the banner who…was a goth chick.

“You’re not a sexy man in underwear!” Diamonique yelled.

“Perceptive,” Seraphina stated.

“Hey Zipporah,” Rhonda greeted.

Zipporah was a tall girl who seemed to have some Asian and Middle-Eastern heritage. She looked like your stereotypical goth; heavy black eyeliner, pale face, black nails and long black hair. Her clothes were all black; a long dress, heeled boots and a hairband.

Zipporah looked around and sighed. “Let me guess, I’m the goth one. Aren’t I?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Rhonda replied.

“I would!” Jenny shouted.

“Great,” Zipporah replied, "just another reason to hate the false 'Hollywood-notion' believing, mainstream, image-obsessed business known as television.”

Zipporah sighed again as she took her black bags and walked away.

Suddenly, the cameraman pointed and squealed, “I see him!”

Emerging from the crowd was another teen with luggage. This time, he looked like Ignacio…kinda. He had a full-grown beard around his face, and his hair in a ‘man bun’. He wore large sweatpants, a long-sleeved red hoodie and big hiker boots. He walked over, blushing at the many eyes upon him.

“That’s not a sexy man in underwear either!” Diamonique shouted. “Could someone just strip for me, please?”

Very, very slowly Kalino started to take off his shirt. “Surrrreee. I’ll take any chance to be in my birthday suit.”

“Bro, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Griswold stated.

“S'up Ignacio,” Rhonda greeted, sweating profusely.

“Did I do something wrong?” Ignacio asked.

“To be honest,” Xidorn admitted, “I was kind of hoping you’d be shirtless or something.”

Ignacio looked down at the floor, where Rhonda’s picture of him had fallen. He became even redder.

“Don’t uh…pay attention to those,” Ignacio stated quietly. “I…um…I’m just a normal guy.”

Ignacio scampered off into the back of the crowd.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have taken the agency’s word on him,” Rhonda whispered.


Rhonda was interrupted by a grinding noise. But it wasn’t a subway; a skater grinded down the rails of the stairs. Reaching the end, the skater did a double flip before landing in front of Rhonda. She stomped on the board, sending it flying, before catching it in her hands. Her luggage slipped down the rail as the others cheered.

“Nice entrance Riley,” Rhonda said.

“Thanks bro,” Riley replied.

Riley was a tall teen, lanky yet also muscular. She had Asian and Hispanic features. Her black hair was long…on her right side, while her left side was completely shaved. She had several piercings; two for each ear, gauges, a stud in her nose, a piercing in her belly button and another in her lip.

Her outfit was...unique; green gator shoes, zebra stripe pajama pants, a red grandpa sweater with the sleeves cut off and the midriff burnt off, faux fox fur cut into a vest and a wolf hat over her noggin.

“I was taking a subway,” Riley said. “But this dude triple-dog dared me to skate here, and I do not back down on dares. Random dude, if you’re watching this, you so owe me five dollars!”

“We’re just glad you could make it,” Rhonda stated.

“I would’ve been here sooner,” Riley stated. “'Cept there was a major accident on the streets; cars piled for blocks, firemen putting out burning buildings, a school bus of children going to the hospital in critical condition. They said a horse caused it or something…”

Vance ‘whistled’ even harder.

“Cool outfit bro,” Griswold stated.

“Thanks man,” Riley replied. “I wanted to look fancy, so me and my bros went on a spree; cost twenty whole bucks.”

“Dude that’s crazy,” Griswold responded.

“That’s what I’m saying Broseph!” 


Another subway pulled in.

"That should be our last contestant,” Rhonda announced. “Who would be…”

Few patrons exited the car, one a teenage girl pulling luggage. If Ignacio was Mr. Fanservice, then anyone could tell who was Ms. Fanservice; she had flowing black hair, violet eyes, long legs, was rather curvy and was the most well developed of the cast. She was of African-American descent. She had on a designer purple scarf that matched her eyes, a yellow midriff with a purple heart, brown boots and light purple pants. 

"…Lita,” Rhonda said.

“Present,” the girl replied and waved. “Hey y’all. I hope I’m not too late.”

“You’re right on time."

Lita smiled. “Good to hear.”

Lita walked over and stopped at a jaw dropped Easton and Weston, raising an eyebrow and closing each twin's jaw.

“Careful honey,” Lita said, “you might catch bugs if you leave your mouth hanging out.”

“Hehe,” Weston giggled and fell back on Easton.

Tessa rolled her eyes at the new arrival.

“Well now that we’re all here,” Rhonda said. “Allow us to take you to your quarters!”

"I only count twenty one of us,” Griswold said.

“Oh she’s here,” Xidorn warned. “Somewhere…watching…waiting…”

"Yeah," Rhonda added, "she'll join us later..."


Rhonda marched towards the stairs, the newcomers following behind her. She inhaled deeply.

This is going great,” Rhonda thought. “It’ll be a hit, I’m sure of it…it has to be, it’s the only thing left that can save our careers. I mean sure Washington D.C. isn’t the ideal survival location, the network has no faith in it and is only making it because they’re contractually obligated to…but that doesn’t mean it won’t work, right? RIGHT? Oh, please give me a sign, any sign that-”

Rhonda walked right into a stop sign. She fell back, hitting her head on the pavement. Opening her eyes, she shrieked. Cynthia stood over her.

Rhonda jumped up as she and everyone else backed away from Cynthia.

Cynthia carried a black umbrella. She opened it. At that second, the rain began to pour and drenched the newbies. Clouds cast away the sun. Lightning crackled across the sky. Wind tore through the streets.

Rhonda looked up. “I meant a good sign…”

Chapter 2 Total Drama Goes to Washington (Part Two)[]

A rundown bus with the initials T.D.G. pulled up to the side of the road and opened its doors.

“Everyone hurry inside,” Rhonda declared, “Two to a seat!”

Rhonda took the driver's seat from an intern as the contestants piled in.

“Hey Melissa!” Aiden called. “I saved you a seat; you can have the window.”

“Thank you so much Aiden,” Melissa replied. “But…no one’s sitting with that poor dear in the back.”

Everyone froze and looked back. Cynthia had taken the back seat. She stared. Another crack of lightning lit up the sky. 

“Really?” Easton asked.

“Yeah, really?” Weston said, sitting next to his brother.

“Oh sure, she seems a little odd,” Melissa admitted. “But deep down, aren’t we all odd? After all, we're all humans.”

Everyone turned back to see Cynthia take a knife out of her bag and cast a stare at all of them.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Seraphina said, as she took the closest open seat, next to Griswold.

"I do want to sit next to you,” Melissa said to Aiden, “but I just can’t leave someone isolated and lonely. What’s more scary than not having a friend?”

“Being murdered in the back of a bus,” Seraphina suggested.

“I’ll remember you fondly,” Aiden said, as Melissa left.


Ignacio walked towards the back of the bus as the other contestants fawned.

Frannie popped up from her seat. “Would you look at that? I have an open seat! Oh, Ignacio I didn’t see you there…right in front of me. Do you a need seat?”

“Uh…”

“Of course you can sit with me!” Frannie stated.

“Actually Ignacio is sitting with me,” Diamonique stated, grabbing the man by his arm. “He asked me to save him a seat.”

“I did?” Ignacio asked.

“Yes,” Diamonique replied, “with your eyes!”

Frannie’s lemur, Ziba jumped onto Ignacio and rubbed her tail against his face.

“Well my lemur’s already left her scent on him,” Frannie stated.

Diamonique rubbed her face against Ignacio. “Well I’ve left my scent on him!”

Ignacio pointed. “Hey look…it’s a…a distraction!“

“Where?” 

“I can't see it?"

Ignacio sat Ziba down and ran. He stopped at the next open seat, Tessa’s.

“Hey,” Ignacio said. “Would it uh-“

“Save it,” Tessa stated. “It’s not available for you, pretty boy.”

Ignacio sighed and walked on.


Lita was the last to make her way onto the bus.

“Hey,” Lita said to Tessa, “you're the pro athlete! Mind if I sit here?”

Tessa spread her legs out to take up the whole seat. “I do.”

“There aren’t any more open seats,” Lita said.

“Then you should’ve got on the bus sooner,” Tessa replied.

Excuse me?” 

“Did I stutter?” 

“Alright little girl, do you have a problem?” Lita shouted back.

“I'd rather not sit next to a flirt,” Tessa replied. “I believe girls should dress decently, as though they have class…even if they don’t.”

“Well I believe people should act decent,” Lita retorted. “As though they have class, which you don’t. Now move your legs, before I move them for you.”

“Now you’re going to resort to violence?” Tessa questioned, getting in the knockout's face. “Real classy.”

Lita pounded her fist into the back of the seat, leaving a hole in it. “You’re about to see how much class I have!”

“Everyone please hurry to a seat,” Rhonda called. 

“Lita,” Hayden called, “me and Aiden can make room, come up here.”

“You sure?” Lita asked. “I hate to-“

"-It would be our pleasure,” Hayden said as Aiden nodded.

The doors closed and Rhonda started to drive through the rainstorm.

“Don’t take what Tessa said personally,” Bethany said from her and Xidorn's seat. “She’s been a total grump since she got here.”

“What’s her deal?” Lita asked.

“No idea," Hayden admitted, "perhaps its an indicator of her stress, being a celebrity and all."

“Have you guys seen any of her interviews on TV?” Xidorn asked.

Lita blushed a little. “No, my family doesn’t…watch a lot of TV.”

“I heard they were controversial,” Aiden admitted. “But wowie kazowie, I never assumed anyone would act that way on the show right off the bat. Especially an American athlete!”

Hayden patted Aiden’s back. “Sometimes people can surprise us in the worst ways.”

“Agreed,” Xidorn said. “I don’t like to spread rumors, but this all the truth; in interviews she’s said nothing but horrible things about most of her fellow athletes and even other celebrities. She claims some bullied her.”

“Maybe that girl's had a rough life,” Lita wondered. “Ain't excusing her behavior, but I should talk to her again.”

Xidorn shook his head. "Good luck, and may the force be with you."


At the same time, Pascal told Diamonqiue, Kalino and Frannie a tale from his previous reality show.

“...And that’s how I solved the puzzle and saved my team from elimination,” Pascal narrated. "Again."

“Wow,” Frannie gasped.

“Man I’m not even surprised,” Kalino stated. “You’re like my favorite show jumper out there.”

“Show jumper?” Seraphina quietly asked herself, eavesdropping from her far away seat.

“Never heard of a show jumper?” Griswold asked.

Seraphina turned away. “I don’t really care for reality television."

“Show jumping is this big trend,” Griswold explained. “The original version of this show started a reality show craze. Now people can make a career out of appearing on reality TV.”

“A career?” Seraphina questioned.

Griswold nodded. “It’s outrageous! These dudes keep auditioning for reality shows to show off their talent and get managers, became famous and get some sponsorship deals or just win prize money like it’s a paycheck.”

Seraphina bit her lip. "So uh..."

"Griswold," the lineman said with a smile. "You're Seraphina right?"

Seraphina nodded. "Yeah. Do you recognize that guy?” 

Griswold scratched his chin. “That dude? Uhh…oh yeah, dude’s like crazy famous; he won some Voice or American Idol rip off. Then he used that to go on some other shows. Only watched one or two, but he corners the market on tank top commercials.”

“How do you know so much about reality TV?” Seraphina asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Reality shows are all the rage at my school. Our old quarterback appeared on one. It’s become a football tradition to apply to reality shows. Like the whole team wearing prom dresses for spirit week.”

“Okay…” 

“Since I’ve answered your questions,” Griswold started. “You think I can ask you something?”

“Yes, I think you could pull off a prom dress,” Seraphina replied.

“I already know that,” Griswold bragged. “I’m told I have pretty cheekbones. But, I wanted to see if you’d use those tarot cards to see my future.”

Seraphina turned away again. “Why? Do you even believe in psychics?”

Griswold shrugged. “I don’t know; I didn’t believe in luck till I find out the legend of my team’s lucky jockstrap and saw it in action.”

“I'm going to regret asking this but…lucky jockstrap?” Seraphina asked.

Yeah,” Griswold said, “it works on and off the field. I won every school raffle when I wore it! My football bros let me take it; if we get on the same team I’ll let you borrow it.”

“I’ll pass."

“The point is, I never thought psychics were real but I should find out first.”

“I guess I can give you a reading sometime,” Seraphina replied. “Only because your cheekbones are so pretty.”

Griswold fist pounded the air and laughed another hearty laugh.

Seraphina stared at Pascal, as he finished another story.


The weather got worse and worse till the contestants couldn't see out their windows. Eventually, the bus squeaked to a stop. 

“We’re here,” Rhonda said. “The five-star hotel you’ll all be staying at for the next indeterminable amount of days.”

“Oh no, not a hotel,” Zipporah said. “How tough can this show get?”

“Right?” Diamonqiue screamed. “I mean what will the continental breakfast be like?”

The newcomers exited the bus and froze dead in their tracks. A tower that loomed over the sky stood before them, black and decrepit yet evoking the image of a mansion. The window ledges were decorated with deformed gargoyles holding their arms out, as if beckoning onlookers to join them. Surrounding the high-rise was a rusted, pointy gate that swung open in tune with the thunder cracks.

Zipporah gasped. “It’s…so beautiful…”

“Dude, I thought you said this was a five star hotel?” Riley asked.

“It is,” Rhonda replied. “This in the historic Pentagram Hotel!”

“What happened to this place?” Hayden asked.

Oh you know, the usual; tough economy, poor location choice, the owner and architect turned out to be a serial killer who used the secret catacombs he built in the hotel to murder people…that kind of thing.”

Lita shivered and tugged on her scarf.

“You okay?” Griswold asked.

“I'm not a fan of serial killers,” Lita admitted. She noticed Cynthia staring at her and turned away.

“It looks run down,” Hayden concluded. “Are you sure everyone will be safe here?”

“Well after they caught the owner, the cops shut the place down,” Rhonda explained. “They did further investigations to find out who all was murdered...and never finished. Some say the ghosts of the serial killer and his victims scared them out…and still haunt the hotel now.”

Zipporah smiled, shedding a tear.

“Don’t worry though,” Rhonda said. “This place has been bought by an enterprise that are repairing it, transforming it into a fun family-friendly tourist attraction!”

Zipproah immediately frowned. “Every moment of happiness I have, life beats away into nothingness.”

“That’s the spirit!” Rhonda cheered. “Now I’m sure we all want to get unpacked…”

Jenny and Toby stepped out, each holding a basket.

“So, get in line by gender,” Rhonda clarified. “Draw a room key to see where you’ll stay, and find out who your new roommate is! Everyone has a roommate; the genders are uneven, so a boy and a girl will share a room. Oh, and feel free to use the confessional!”

“Where is it?” Easton asked.

“Yeah, where?” Weston added.

“It’s the cursed broken elevator,” Rhonda said. “We’ll have lunch in ten minutes. Be there; it’s required.”

“It’s about time,” Diamonique stated, finishing another taco. “I’m starved!”


As the newcomers rushed on, Lita stopped Tessa.

“Look, can we talk?” Lita asked.

“As if,” Tessa scoffed.

“Listen I’m sorry for overreacting earlier,” Lita said. “I’m not here to make enemies. So do you think we can just move on, forgot about this and be friendly?”

“Forgot about you bullying me?” Tessa asked.

“You insulted me first,” Lita clarified. “I was trying to take a seat. Look, it doesn’t matter. Can we not have bad blood between us?”

“If you think I’m going to let you push me around, you’re dumber than you look,” Tessa stated.

“Fine then,” Lita replied, “I tried to be nice. But if you’d rather have your head up your *** than please go ahead. I’m not going to take your crap. Just hope we aren’t on the same team ***** cause I will cast my vote against you. That is a promise.”

Lita flipped the bird and walked off.


Bethany entered the broken elevator and pressed a Close Door button. She sat down on the fluffy, purple cushion inside. The tacky salmon colored wallpaper was halfway peeling off the walls.

“This is actually pretty comfy for a cursed elevator,” Bethany said. “Anyway, I’m pumped to be here! I’ve never really thought about being on a reality show, but I want to challenge myself. I'm aiming to win; my family's motto is 'go big but don’t go home if you don’t win.' No pressure or anything, heh, heh...”


“I’ve always dreamed of winning this show,” Pascal said. “And I’m going to make sure that dream comes true. How? Simple; I’m going to introduce some real strategy to this show. First thing I need to do is make a secret alliance to control the votes, and make it easy to win over everyone in the finale. Reality show finales almost always depend upon getting support from other contestants.”


“I’m a glass half full kind of guy,” Kalino stated. “Some might complain we’re staying in a haunted hotel, but I say we’re staying in a hotel for free! Some might say we have to scramble or work hard and stuff to make sure we aren’t eliminated. I say I just got to sit back and wait till the right moment until… man it’s really uncomfortable in here!”

Kalino flipped up the seat cushions. Out fell what looked like a golden flash-drive.

“Cool,” Kalino said, stuffing it in his shirt pocket. “I found a good luck charm…”


"Well,” Joaquin Jasper said. “I-“


“Yeah, I don’t really want to be here,” Zipporah said. “My parents signed me up for this stupid show. It sucks. They suck. All you people watching suck. A lot.”


Seraphina read her key card as she reached her door. “The sixth floor, room sixty six; 666.”

She unlocked her door and saw Tessa sitting on one of the beds.

“The number of the beast,” Seraphina said.

“You're joking if you think I’m going to share a room with you,” Tessa said.

“I’m hoping this is just a joke,” Seraphina replied. “But I doubt it…”


“I joined this show because I wanted to get away from the world for a while,” Tessa sighed. “I wanted to meet people who were outsiders like me, be in a judgment-free zone. Instead, I get treated the same as always by the ‘popular’ snobs. I know most of them are talking bad about me behind my back, already defining me for what they’ve seen from interviews. Well, just wait and see; one by one I’m going to take them all down…”


"I'm not really a people person," Seraphina admitted. "I don't even like my own mother. I've found people are the worst. I'm not sure why I was cast; I just auditioned as an excuse not to get a summer job. Although, the show isn't as bad as I thought it would be."

Seraphina smiled, then frowned. "Its worse."


Halting to stop at the end of the hall, the twins arrived at their room.

“657,” Easton cheered. “Must be our lucky number!”

“Yeah, it must be!” Weston said.

Weston put in his card. The automatic lock spat his key back out.

“What?” Weston asked.

“Let me see,” Easton said, taking his card. “Bro, this says 654!”

“But that means,” Weston realized. “We’re…in separate rooms! We can’t be in separate rooms!”

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” Easton said. “Your room is right across from me. You’ll be fine, right?”

“Yeah, yeah it’ll be alright,” Weston agreed. “Your room is right across from mine, so I’ll be fine. You’re right.”

“I’m going to unpack,” Easton explained. “I’ll be back out in five minutes. You go unpack.”

“Okay,” Weston agreed. “Hey bro?”

“Yeah?"

“I love you."

“It’s just five minutes."

Weston hugged his brother.

Easton sighed and used his key. “Five minutes.”

“I’ll be ready in four,” Weston shouted, as Easton closed the door.

“Howdy!” Vance greeted. “Hope you don’t mind, but I did beat you here so I took the left bed.”

“No biggie,” Easton replied.

“Something getting your gumption partner?” Vance asked.

“I just had to leave my brother,” Easton said.

“Well that’s a darn shame,” Vance said. “If I hadn’t already unpacked I’d offer to switch with him.”

“No,” Easton replied, “I mean it’s just a room.”

Vance shrugged. “Whatever. Now I hope you don’t mind, but the women tend to be on me like a chicken on a June bug, so I might be having some late night make-out sessions. Try not to be awkward during it, alright?”

“Uh, I’ll try,” Easton replied.


At the same time, Weston had unlocked his room.

“S’up Broadie,” Riley welcomed. “Looks like we’re bunking together.”

Weston sighed. “Cool.”

“Everything okay?” Riley asked. “Not afraid I’ve got cooties are ya?”

“No,” Weston replied, “I grabbed the wrong key. It was supposed to be me and my brother sharing a room.”

“Aw dude that sucks hardcore,” Riley said. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Weston replied. “It’s like Easton said, it’ll be alright.”

Riley put her arm around Weston’s shoulder. “Well I’m not your brother, but if you need somebody I’m here for you.”

Weston sighed. “Thanks.”


Melissa reached her door and put in her key. Her room was poorly lit by black candles, but she could make out a shadowy figure; Cynthia, sharpening her knives.

Melissa dropped her bags...and ran over to glomp Cynthia. “We're roommates? Oh, I was hoping we would be! We'll have so much fun together!”

Cynthia didn’t look up, intensely focusing on her blades.


Down the hall, Bethany exited her dorm and saw Pascal teetering right outside.

“Hey Bethany!" Pascal greeted. "Do you mind if we talked for an teeny weeny moment?"

“No problem,” Bethany replied. “Hold on, we’re you waiting for me? How did you know this was-“

“Follow me!” Pascal interrupted, bouncing down the hall.

Bethany shrugged and followed the singer into a dorm. Inside were Kalino and Vance. Pascal slammed the door shut.

“Am I interrupting something?” Bethany asked.

“Me and my roommate Kalino were talking,” Pascal said. “And we thought this game is going to get extra super duper serious soon, right?”

Bethany smiled. "I hope so!"

“Darn tootin,” Vance added.

"So I decided that maybe I should do something extra super duper serious myself,” Pascal explained. “Such as…form an alliance.”

“A who?” Vance asked.

“We all agree to vote together and not vote each other off,” Pascal said. “That way we can get far in the game together and protect our bestest interests.”

“Were your first draft choices?” Bethany asked.

“I want someone to win whose good,” Pascal said. “Too many times, villains form alliances and target deserving people. I say we form a good guy alliance! Besides, working together we can keep our team strong and safe.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Bethany admitted. “Don’t you think it’s a bit early though?"

“The early worm gets the early bird special,” Vance said. “I say we do it while we can.”

“Mannnnn it sounds fine to me,” Kalino stated. “As long as I can invite a friend or so in it.”

“The more friends the better!” Pascal said. “Just…wait till we get our feet settled.”

“I don’t know,” Bethany replied. "This feels like some dark side of the force stuff..."

“Duuuude I thought you’d want to be in a good guy alliance Bethany,” Kalino said. “I mean, I figured you’d want to avoid some sneak targeting you for being good at challenges.”

Bethany frowned. "You think someone would actually target me for that? This early?"

Kalino nodded.

"Well I guess it wouldn't hurt," Bethany said. "Okay, let’s do it.”

Yippie Skippy!" Pascal cheered. "Now remember, let’s keep it a secret, just to avoid people making a big deal out of it and to spare feelings; there’s a lot of people who can join us, I just wanted to start small.”

“I don’t know about y’all but I could go for some grub,” Vance said as he strutted away.

“Saaaaaammmmmeee,” Kalino said.


“My alliance plan worked perfectly!” Pascal cheered. “Yippie Skippy! With Vance and Bethany I have two big targets to hide behind at the merge when they start voting off threats. And the only way Kalino could be a more ideal scapegoat is if he grew an udder. It’s a win-win-win situation!”


Over in room 666, Tessa tossed an old box, Seraphina's box, from one hand to the other as the psychic tried to grab it back.

“Give me back my tarot cards,” Seraphina shouted. “They're in my great, great grandmother’s jewelry box.”

“If you want your hoodoo voodoo junk,” Tessa said, “go get it.”

Tessa tossed the box outside of the room. Seraphina chased after it, slipping across the floor and barely catching it. Her luggage was tossed outside and the door slammed behind her. Seraphina jiggled the knob but it wouldn’t budge.

“Let me back in there you ***hat!” Seraphina screamed.

“Sorry, this room is taken."

“I know you and your big fat ego can take up a whole room,” Seraphina replied, “but I have to sleep somewhere.”

“That’s not my problem."

Seraphina started to kick the door.

“Honey, you alright?”

Seraphina turned around to see Lita watching.

“Just peachy,” Seraphina replied, turning away.

“What happened?” 

“My roommate is the devil,” Seraphina said. “aka Tessa. Now I'm locked out.”

Lita picked up Seraphina’s luggage. “Come on sweetie."

“To where?” Seraphina asked.

“My room,” Lita replied.

Lita walked towards the beginning of the hall. She opened her door as Seraphina slowly followed.

“Hey Ness,” Lita said. “I’m back; didn't find any vending machines.”

“Hey Lita,” Ness replied, leaving their bathroom. “And, oh hey...Seraphina. What’s going on?”

“Tessa forced Seraphina out,” Lita explained. “I was hoping, if it was okay with you, that Seraphina could stay here.”

“How awful,” Ness exclaimed. “It’s no problem with me, she's welcome to.”

“Why are you offering to share your room with me?" Seraphina asked. 

“Cause I don’t want you sleeping in the hall,” Lita said.

“I’m sure if I complain to Rhonda she’ll force Tessa to let me in,” Seraphina said.

“So you can room with her?” Lita said. “I’d take the hall over that.”

“Well... thanks,” Seraphina said. “I’d like to crash here, but it’ll be just for a little while. I promise. I’ll take the floor.”

“Girl I just said you ain't sleepin there,” Lita stated. “Now you go make yourself comfy on that bed.”

“We could rotate who sleeps where,” Ness suggested. “Or maybe we could share the beds, put them together to make a super bed. Kind of like a sleepover.”

“Whatever you want,” Seraphina said.

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” Lita said. “Let’s do it!”

Ness clapped. “Eeeee! This’ll be so cool!”


Everyone gathered in the cafeteria, dimly lit by the candelabras on dusty, wood furnished tables.

“Welcome to lunch newcomers,” Rhonda said. “Please note we only have one cup for each of you.”

Rhonda pointed to the two stacks of cup outside the lunch lines; outside the left line were red cups while blue cups were stacked outside the right line.

“Again, everyone gets one cup and one cup only,” Rhonda clarified. “Now please enjoy.”

The newcomers went through the line, grabbing a cup and finding places to sit.


Melissa exited the line and saw Aiden waving.

“Thanks so much for saving me a seat,” Melissa said.

“It was my pleasure,” Aiden replied.

“So how’s your room?” Melissa asked.

“Great,” Aiden said. “I’m rooming with Hayden and he seems like the bees knees. How’s your room?”

“Wonderful!” Melissa replied. “They really went out with the atmosphere; my room started to ooze a mysterious liquid and I still don’t know what it is!”


At another table, Bethany and Xidorn cheered as Griswold and Riley chugged soda.

Griswold slammed his red cup down and belched. “Beat that!”

Riley sat her red cup down, cleared her throat…and burped so hard her glass shattered.

“Consider yourself roasted Bro-B-Q,” Riley replied.

Bethany and Xidorn clapped as Griswold bowed his head in defeat.

“Oh hey Lita!” Bethany called. “Come sit with us!”

“Sure,” Lita replies. “Is it cool if my roomies join us?”

“Heck yeah!” Griswold said. “We’re having a party over here.”

Lita and Ness started to walk over.

"I cannot believe this lunch!” Lita said. “They have my fave; cheese fries!”

“Yeah,” Ness agreed. “They have my favorite too; fried clams. I haven’t had them in forever and-“

Ness slipped and faceplanted on the ground, while her clams spilt on the floor.

“Oh,” Ness said. “That’s okay, I wasn’t really that hungry anyway.”

Lita helped Ness up. “Nonsense sweetie, have mine.”

“Really?”

“Sure,” Lita replied. “Besides, I’m getting seconds; we can go together.”

Seraphina exited the lunch line as her roommates took their seats.

“Hey Seraphina,” Ness called. “Over here, we saved a spot for you!"

"Yeah, come sit us with us dude!" Griswold added.

“Okay…” Seraphina replied, going to the table.


At Melissa and Aiden's table, Hayden joined them. “Is it fine if I sit with you two kids?”

“We would be delighted,” Melissa said. “Aiden was just telling me you and him were roommates.”

“Yeah,” Hayden said, “he’s a pretty cool roommate. For a dork.”

Aiden chuckled. “Aw jeez, right back at you.”


“I’m the oldest one here,” Hayden said. “Which is fine; I’m happy to be able to be here for these younger kids. Take my roommate for example; sweet guy but he’s a little innocent and dopey. He needs someone to look out for him. I’m happy to be that someone, offer him a little guidance. Youngsters need that sometimes.”


“Who are you rooming with Melissa?” Hayden asked.

“I was lucky enough to room with Cynthia,” Melissa stated.

Aiden spat his drink all over Hayden.

“Sorry pal,” Aiden apologized.

“No, that was the proper reaction,” Hayden replied. “Cynthia? Has she even spoken a word to you?”

“Well no,” Melissa replied, “she’s more of a strong-silent type. I invited her to sit with us, but I don’t think she will.”

Aiden and Hayden sighed in relief.


After a while, all the newcomers were almost finished with lunch, some even getting seconds or thirds.

Ignacio sat by himself where he picked at his food.

“Um pardon,” Lita said, behind him. “I was just wonderin’ if-”

Ignacio sighed. “-No, I will not take off my shirt. I will not flex for you. I will not let you pet my…’man bun’. Can I just please eat my lunch?”

"Don't get a fat head with me," Lita said. "I just wanted to see if you were going to eat those cheese fries, ‘cause the lunch line is out and you aren’t eating them. What, just because you get paid for stripping half naked in front of a camera you assume all girls are thirsty for you?"

Ignacio stared wide-eyed at the knockout.

Lita turned away. "Shoo, I don't even want them anymore. I hope you choke on them!"


“I have a temper,” Lita admitted. “I know it and I try to control it. But I cannot stand people who think they’re so great they can treat others badly. I should be use to dealing with people like that but…ooh! I don’t care who you are, how you look or what you have; you’re a jerk if you act like that makes you better. I’m not afraid to fight you; verbally or physically.”


“I really shot myself in foot there,” Ignacio said. "Some of the other girls and guys were inquiring about such things and it made me rather uncomfortable...still that wasn't the way to act..."


As the new arrivals finished their last bites, Rhonda reentered with a smirk on her face.

“I hope you’ve all enjoyed your lunch,” Rhonda said. “You’re going to need it for your first challenge. This challenge will test everything; your social skills, strength, intelligence, accuracy, courage, balance, creativity, vigor, speed, leadership, endurance and teamwork. The winners of today’s challenge will receive an extra special reward!”

“What are the teams?” Hayden questioned.

“Oh you’ve already chosen your teams,” Rhonda stated.

Everyone looked at each.

“Indirectly I mean,” Rhonda teased. “You see, for each of you there-“

“-Was a cup from the lunch line,” Kalino said. “Eleven red, eleven blue; each half of how many of us are here. Based on what cup we picked, we picked our teams.”

“Yeah,” Rhonda said. “How’d you know?”

“I just realized it duuuuude,” Kalino admitted. “I was wondering what was up with the cup stuff.”

“Well if you have a red cup stand to my left, blue to my right,” Rhonda stated.

The contestants reluctantly got up.

Rhonda turned to her right. “Bethany, Weston, Melissa, Diamonique, Kalino, Aiden, Vance, Cynthia, Xidorn, Hayden and Frannie you are…the Molting Eagles!”

Above their heads appeared a blue emblem, depicting a naked eagle trying to cover himself with his few remaining feathers.

Rhonda turned to her left. “That means that Griswold, Zipporah, Ness, Riley, Ignacio, Tessa, Pascal, Lita, Easton, Seraphina and Jasper are now…the Fizzling Fireworks!”

A red emblem of an exhausted cartoon firework coughing smoke and few sparks appeared over their heads.

“Wait, me and Easton aren’t on the same team!” Weston complained.

“So sad, too bad, no do-overs,” Rhonda stated.


Pascal forced a smile. “How could I forget? An alliance is the way to control the game…unless your alliance is all on the opposite team! Now I need an entirely new plan! That's okay; I can handle this. When life hands you lemons, thank life with a smile. SO THANKS LIFE. THANKS. A LOT!”


"The first part of your challenge is to get to Lincoln Memorial while staying ahead of the obstacles.”

“Obstacles?” Hayden asked.

Rhonda snapped her fingers. Two crates fell from the ceiling, shaking and echoing screams. Out of the crates came a rhino, a lion, a tiger, a bear (oh my), a shark, a murder of crows, a mass of scarabs, a chainsaw welding maniac, a chicken, Jenny and Toby on an ATV, a grandma, an animatronic dinosaur, a hipster, a monster truck, a komodo dragon, a mouse, a skunk, a vulture, a large tortoise, a girl scout, a woolly mammoth beaver, a wildebeest stampede and the Brady Bunch.

“Ah yes,” Hayden replied, “those obstacles. Well, thank you for clearing that up and, EVERYONE RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

The contestants bolted out as the ‘obstacles’ chased after them.


The T.D.G. bus pulled up to the Lincoln Memorial. Rhonda exited, laughing to herself.

“Ha, they weren’t expecting that.”

“I know I didn't,” Diamonique agreed. “Care for a fry?”

"No thanks Diamonique."

Rhonda smirked to herself. Then she turned around to see Diamonique, Melissa, Cynthia and Frannie.

“What?” Rhonda asked. “How did, but you…”

“Please don't be upset Ms. Rhonda,” Melissa said. “Diamonique was kind enough to haul a taxi for us.”

“It just seemed like the easiest thing to do,” Diamonique admitted. “We got here a while ago but you weren’t here, so we went to Mickey D’s.”


“After becoming roommates,” Frannie said, “me and Diamonique realized we’d do better working together than against each other. I mean we're the two hottest girls here.”


The rest of the newcomers raced towards the Lincoln Memorial.

“What a glorious day!” Jenny cheered as she held a tranquilizer gun. “Get ready Toby, this’ll be all over soon.”

One of the vultures swooped in and carried the co-hosts off.

“That was soon,” Toby said, “good work Jenny.”

“YOUR MOM!” 


At the same time, the scarabs swarmed after Ness.

Ness screamed, before tripping over a penny and faceplanting on the concrete.

The scarabs crawled over the jinx, sinking their pinchers into her skin until someone picked her.

“Don’t give up now!” 

Ness grabbed their neck, as the person carried her on their back.


“I’ve had a fear of scarabs ever since I was five," Ness explained. "A mass of them escaped from the zoo and bit me so hard they put me in the hospital. It wasn’t the worst field trip though. Thank goodness I was rescued this time. I was thinking some prince must have saved me. Maybe Pascal, that singer on my team…heehee…”


Eventually, everyone reached the Lincoln Memorial.

“We’re here,” Ness’ savior said.

“Thank you for saving me,” Ness said, kissing their cheek.

“Uh…”

Ness opened her eyes to see she was clinging Bethany.

“Oh,” Ness said. “You can leave me back at the scarabs.”

“Forget it about,” Bethany laughed as she set Ness down, “We’re just lucky nobody got hurt.”

The two turned around to see citizens being terrorized by the obstacles, running for their lives.

“Oops,” Rhonda said, “we should have had a plan to round them back up…”

“So who won this here challenge?” Vance asked.

“The Molting Eagles arrived first, so they win an advantage for the next part of the challenge,” Rhonda said.

The Eagles cheered.

“Consider that your baptism into the world of Total Drama,” Rhonda stated. “Now that you’ve been initiated, let’s see what you all are made of…”

Rhonda moved to the top of the Lincoln Memorial steps. A crowd began gathering.

“For the next challenge you’ll be performing eleven labors,” Rhonda stated. “One person from each team will each compete in a challenge. The winner scores a point. The team with the most points at the end wins. As an advantage for winning the race, the Eagles start with one point.”

The crowd became bigger and bigger.

“Anyone notice a lot of these people are wearing ‘I Love Total Drama’ shirts,” Seraphina stated.

Rhonda nodded. “For your first labor, one member must deliver a speech to these hardcore fans of why your team should win invincibility. Then they’ll vote for who they want to win this labor. Teams, pick your speaker.”


“Let’s let huddle up team,” Hayden stated, as the Eagles formed a circle. "Who here feels like they’re good at public speaking?”

“I feel I could do it,” Aiden said.

“I think you could do it,” Hayden said, “but only one person can do one challenge. You’ve got a lot of physical strength Aiden, so I say we save you for another challenge.”

“Huh,” Aiden replied, “I didn’t think of it like that.”

Xidorn raised his hand. “I can do it. I'm a Total Drama fan too. I believe I can go up there, speak from the heart and win them over.”

“I like your honesty bud,” Hayden replied, “Go for it.”

Bethany patted Xidorn on the back as the huddle dispersed.


The Fireworks were having their own meeting.

“I’m going to go for it!” Pascal cheered. “I could even do a song for them!”

“Sounds righteous brah,” Griswold said.

“Actually,” Seraphina said, “I’d like to do it.”

“I think we’ve already decided Seraphina,” Pascal said.

“I must not have been here for the vote,” Seraphina replied.

“You can do the next one!” Pascal beamed. “I’m sure you’d do extra super duper at it!"

“Or I could do 'extra super duper' at this one if you’d give me a chance,” Seraphina said.

“Don’t let this hurt your feelings,” Pascal said. “It's just, I don’t know if you have the right…’oomph’ for this challenge.”

"You just want to get out of doing it as soon as possible,” Tessa stated.

Seraphina shook her head. “First and most importantly; shut up Tessa. Second, I don’t think it’s smart to let our most experienced player do a speaking challenge. Third, I know I can do this. Let me do this instead of waiting and having me end up competing in the bodybuilder challenge.”

“Seraphina I just don’t-“

“-Vote me off,” Seraphina stated. “If I lose this challenge and our team loses today, you can vote me off first.”

“Girl has kahunas,” Lita laughed. "I say let her do it!”

“She brings up some good points,” Ness added. “And…I believe Seraphina can do it. If I believe it, she can achieve it.”

“When you put it like that,” Pascal replied, “then let’s do it!”

Rhonda held her arms out to the crowd. “Now, let the eleven, or so, labors begin...”

Chapter 3 Total Drama Goes to Washington (Part Three)[]

The crowd cheered as the two representatives got on the steps; Xidorn stood behind a podium.

“To be honest,” Xidorn admitted, "our teams have only been formed for a short while. Yet I can say with one hundred percent certainty, my team is the better team. The Eagles are filled with people who get along; we’re already a fine-tuned machine.”

“I don’t believe the same can be said for the Fireworks,” Xidorn went on. “Just look at the way an Eagle used their smarts to bring over a third of our team to first place. We’re stronger, not just as players, but also in what makes a team important; teamwork. It’s why I’m happy to be an Eagle.”

The fans cheered. Seraphina took the podium.

“My opponent made a good speech,” Seraphina stated. “I’m not going to lie; I agree with him. My team is more dysfunctional; people are already strategizing, flirting and fighting. Lots of fighting, mostly between girls.”

Everyone stared at her.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Seraphina said, “we can take the Eagles, but they’re all best friends over there; good for them. But if I wanted to watch a show about best friends I’d watch Disney Junior. Reality shows aren’t about tolerance; they’re about scandals, alliances and catfights. It’s how they get ratings. The Eagles themselves admit they don’t have that."

The fans shuffled awkwardly in the audience.

“So vote the Eagles,” Seraphina said, “and enjoy the fascinating story of the people who were winning and kept winning. Or vote the underdogs and give us an equal chance; not like the show has the word ‘drama’ in the title or anything. Ultimately there’s no pressure; it’ll only affect the opening and future ratings of the last ditch attempt to reboot and save your favorite show.”

The audience murmured amongst themselves and started to vote.

Rhonda appeared behind the podium. “The results are in,” the hostess announced, “and the winners are…The Fireworks!”

“Wow,” Xidorn said, “I guess your speech was better.”

“Eh,” Seraphina replied, “or people are just inherently selfish. Your speech was really nice for something on the spot.”

“I meant everything I said in that speech,” Xidorn stated.

“Really?” Seraphina said. “You’re not lying?”

“I don’t believe in lying,” Xidorn replied. “I haven’t told a lie since the third grade.”

“Seriously?” Seraphina said. "I can't say I'm that honest.”

Xidorn laughed. "You aren't afraid to speak your mind; that seems pretty honest to me.”

Xidorn held out his hand and Seraphina pulled back for a second, before reaching forward and shaking it.

“Thanks,” Seraphina replied. “And…uh, good luck.”

“You too,” Xidorn said. “I hope this isn't the last time we compete against each other.”

The Fireworks cheered as Seraphina walked over, staring at the straight shooter, who shot a smile at her before returning to the Eagles.

“You pwned it!” Riley cheered.

"I was nervous at first," Lita said. "But you slayed honey!"

Seraphina blushed. “Whatever…I mean, I couldn’t have done it without you guys anyway. So yeah…go Fireworks.”


“Okay, I said I don't care for people," Seraphina explained. "Yet... I have to admit, some of these people here are nice; on my team and on the other team. I appreciate that, and I want to be nice back...it’s weird.”


As for the next challenge,” Rhonda said, “the only clue I can give is that you should consider weight.”

“What is that suppose to mean?” Easton asked. "Like being heavy or being lightweight?" 

“Wait,” Seraphina whispered, “remember that speech Rhonda made before the challenge; she said we’d need a lot of things.”

“Ooh,” Riley replied, “like we’d need social skills, which we did in the last challenge!”

So that means according to Rhonda’s speech,” Pascal said, “we need strength for the next challenge.”

All the Fireworks turned to Griswold.

Griswold smirked and stepped forward. “I got this!”

“I’ll give it my best,” Aiden stated. "For the Eagles and for our Founding Fathers! And for our founding mothers! And our current congress, judges, senators, DMV workers-"

"Shush," Rhonda hushed and snapped her fingers; interns wheeled out two weight benches.

“You two must lift weights,” Rhonda stated, “and we’ll add ten pounds until someone can’t lift anymore. Jenny and Toby, watch over them."

The two co-hosts nodded.

While they complete that task,” Rhonda said, “We’ll do two labors at once! The first challenge is tricky while the other is a shot in the dark.”

Pascal volunteered for the first challenge, along with Diamonique. Easton and Bethany volunteered for the second.

“Good luck Easton!”  Weston cheered. “You got this!”

Vance flicked Weston’s ear. “Don’t wish him luck, he’s on the opposite team you nitwit!”

“It’s fine,” Bethany said. “It’s his brother, you don’t want your brother to fail. Besides, I don't need luck.”


Rhonda brought Pascal and Diamonique to their task. Rhonda clapped and a portrait of Washington’s skyline appeared behind her, almost popping up out of the ground. 

“See this picture?” Rhonda asked.

Rhonda flicked the picture and it fell to pieces.

“You’ll have to rebuild it from memory out of one thousand pieces,” Rhonda said, as interns laid out a large frame and bags of puzzle pieces.

“What?” Diamonique complained. “I thought this was going to be a trick or treating challenge!”

“Oh well,” Rhonda replied. “Now, go!”


Next, Rhonda took the teams to a makeshift field on a blacktop.

“I hope you like shot put,” Rhonda announced.

Bethany fist pumped. “You know I do!”

“Good,” Rhonda replied, “because for this challenge you’ll have to throw a shot put ball on a target from behind the white line.”

Rhonda pointed several feet away to a target.

“Each of you will try to aim your shot put ball and land in the center,” Rhonda said. “Whoever is closest wins. I’ll give you a moment to figure out your aim.”

“I can do this,” Bethany said to herself. "It's easy, no pressure at all."

“Oops,” Rhonda said, “forgot to mention one little thing; you have to wear blindfolds.”

Interns came behind Easton and Bethany, blindfoldinb the two before they could realize what was happening. 

“Begin!” Rhonda announced.

Easton spun and tossed his ball while Bethany stepped back and released hers.

THUD

“Did I hit it?” Easton asked. “Did I hit it?”

“You hit something,” Riley replied.

“More like someone,” Seraphina said.

Easton removed his blindfold and cringed; Ness had taken a shot put to the face. The jinx laid fallen on the ground. 

“How, how bad is it?” Ness asked.

Ouch,” Bethany said, as she removed her blindfold. “Well…”

You look amazing,” Zipporah stated as she pulled out a hand mirror and handed it to Ness.

Ness's jaw dropped as saw she had a black eye and bloody nose.

“I’m so sorry Ness!" Easton apologized. 

Ness coughed up a little blood. “It’s fine; I was actually expecting at least a bloody lip.”

“Well,” Rhonda said, “Ness’ face is not at the bullseye. However, Bethany’s shot put is!”

Bethany and the others turned to see her shot put was dead center of the target.

“YES!” Bethany cheered. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, er…sorry. Hope you feel better Ness.”

“No really, it’s fine,” Ness replied.

“It was a good try bro,” Weston yelled.

Easton blushed. “Thanks pal…"


Griswold and Aiden rejoined their teams at the next challenge point; Griswold had won to no one’s surprise, as being a football player weightlifting was a daily part of his routine.

Rhonda walked forward, rattling chains.

“These chains are your next clue. We'll be using them for the next challenge…”

Hayden had gotten the Eagles huddled together again.

“Team,” Hayden said, “I think I’m beginning to notice a pattern that's lead me to a theory; all the challenges are based off of Rhonda’s speech, about what would be tested.”

“Gee willikers!” Aiden replied. “Xidorn’s challenge required social skills, mine required strength…"

“That means Diamonique’s challenge requires intelligence,” Kalino stated.

“We’ll focus on that later,” Hayden said. “Right now we know the trick of this challenge.”

“After we’ve lost our lead,” Vance added.

“Sure we’re tied,” Hayden said, “but we still have a chance to turn this around. We aren’t going to give up now when things are looking rough, are we?”

“No sir!” Aiden replied as other Eagles nodded.

“Glad to hear it,” Hayden said. “Now if memory serves this next challenge is a test of courage. Who thinks they can-“

"-Times up!” Rhonda announced. “Let’s start this challenge. Fireworks, whose going for you?”

Ignacio stepped up.

“And for the Eagles?”

Hayden blushed. “It looks like-“

“-Me.”

The Eagles parted and shook in fear; Cynthia stepped forward.

“I’m already scared,” Ignacio whispered.

Rhonda gave out a hoarse laugh and squirmed. “For this challenge, you'll enter a coffin. We’ll chain your coffins together and shut out all light. Inside the coffin is a red button; press it and you’ll be able to leave the coffin but lose the challenge. Though, we’ll give you good incentive to want to leave…”

The two laid back and fell in the wooden coffins. The lid was closed down tight and chained together.

“Sure it’s dark,” Ignacio said to himself, “and as humans we have an instinctive phobia of darkness; the darkness contains unknown threats. However, I know what’s in the interior of this space.”

Suddenly the coffin jolted up.

“Though I don’t know about the exterior,” Ignacio admitted.

Ignacio began to tip left and right.

Hisss….

Ignacio gulped. "Snakes. I hate snakes.”

Ignacio shivered as a snake crawled up his pants leg, while another moved down his shirt.

“They most have stored these reptiles in a undisclosed compartment,” Ignacio said. “Still, no reason to freak out.”

Sssss….Kkkk….ahhhh…

Ignacio slammed the button at the animalistic screams. The model shifted down. As soon as Ignacio heard the chains removed, he sprung out and removed his shirt and shook out the snake, revealing his pecs that glistened with sweat.

Most of the newcomers stared. Hayden blushed and turned his head, Frannie panted, Xidorn and Riley drooled a little bit while Rhonda drooled puddles.

“Dude, you’re so hot,” Easton said.

Ignacio blushed and threw back on his shirt, igniting several ‘awws’ from the contestants. Ignacio turned to see a crane behind the coffins.

The Eagles win the challenge,” Rhonda announced, wiping some of her drool on her sleeve.

“Cynthia,” Melissa called, “Cynthia, are you okay in there?”

“S…sorry everyone,” Igancio stated. “I…uh…I…the slicing sounds just freaked me out too much and I…uh…yeah.”

“Slicing sounds?” Rhonda asked. “We didn’t add any sound effects.”

Melissa pried open Cynthia’s coffin and screamed as cut up pieces of a snake splattered out. Cythina stood expressionless and covered in blood, holding the other snake by the neck next to her knife. She froze for a second, before slicing its head off.

“Oh my,” Melissa said. “Cynthia you…you…you accidentally split snake blood on your nice shirt, poor dear. I saw a washroom back at the hotel. I’d be happy to clean them up when we get back."

Cynthia dangled the snake’s corpse and nodded.


“I feel awful about the challenge,” Ignacio admitted. “I feel worse I couldn’t apologize right. Everyone was just staring at me…. Whenever I take off my shirt, or anything like that, most people flip out. My manager says it’s a ‘power’ I have, as though looking at me can drive people insane. Of course that’s scientifically impossible. It just feels like it sometimes. The worst part is I’m very afraid of attention…and I am aware of the irony of that statement.”


Cynthia dropped the snake corpse on the confessional’s camera.


Meanwhile, Pascal quickly slid puzzle pieces in his frame.

“Yippie Skippy! That makes seven hundred pieces solved!” Pascal cheered.

“Great job,” Diamonique said as she turned a page in a magazine.

“I can do it!” Pascal said.

“I believe in you,” Diamonqiue yawned.

“Thanks!” Pascal replied. “I’m going to win this thing!”

“Well…I’m not so sure about that,” Diamonique said.

Pascal froze, then turned to Diamonique, whose puzzle was complete.

“What but…you and how but…when?” Pascal asked.

“The interns aren’t sure if it took two minutes or one,” Diamonique replied. “I would’ve told you but you were really focused so…I didn’t want to be rude.”

Pascal’s smiled widely as his eye twitched.


“Yeah, I won the puzzle,” Diamonqiue stated. “I actually have an IQ of 180, at least according to the last time I took the test. My personal psychologist says despite my poor memory, I still could be able to do sciencey stuff and go to Harvard and junk if I worked harder, but working hard is like…hard work.”


Ness and Frannie stood on platforms raised high in the air. The platforms connected to another raised platform by a thin wire. Under the platforms were a net.

“Wait, why I am here?” Ness said.

“That is the age old question,” Frannie stated, “but the meaning of life we can only determine for ourselves.”

“No, I meant what am I doing here,” Ness said.

“Oh,” Frannie replied, “well when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, or are bored, they…”

“No time for that,” Rhonda yelled. “First one to the end wins!”

Frannie flipped out on to the wire. Ness looked down and gulped. She stepped out onto the wire…that snapped and sent her plummeting.

“What?” Rhonda asked. “That wire could hold an elephant!”

“That’s not fair,” Easton said, “her equipment is faulty. Ness should be given a do-over!”

“Cool with me,” Frannie stated.

“Alright, let’s do this again,” Rhonda stated.

Soon, the two girls started over. As Ness started out on the wire, a crow flew up to her and landed on her hair.

“Oh,” Ness said, “what a sweet little birdie.”

Suddenly, a murder of crows swarmed Ness. They lifted her up and off the wire.

“You want another do-over?” Frannie asked.

“Ahhhh!” Ness screamed. “There pecking out my eyes! HELP!”

"Is that a yes?” Frannie asked.

So, they started again. As Ness walked out onto the platform, two paper airplanes flew into her eyes and knocked her off…

They started again. Ness stepped out, when a falling air conditioner knocked her on the head and off the wire…

They started again. Suddenly, a gorilla that escaped from the zoo jumped onto the wire, grabbed Ness and started to climb the nearest building…

They started again. Ness shook but dipped her toe out on to the wire. She froze, and looked around for a minute.

“Phew,” Ness sighed.

The platform then collapsed under her.


“We did the challenge thirteen times before Frannie got to the end,” Ness said. "I still don't know why I was-"

Suddenly, the murder of crows busted into the confessional and attacked Ness again. "Ahhhhh! Ahhh!"


At the same time, Zipporah and Kalino worked on a separate task.

“You two had to draw a poster that showed why your team was amazing,” Rhonda said. “Let’s see what you got Kalino.”

Kalino turned his poster around; He drew his team riding on Penguins and dressed in gold.

"We were suppose to be riding Eagles but I can only draw penguins," Kalino stated. "I also used smelly markers, with each smell symbolizing something different. We smell like victory...and lemon."

“Nice,” Rhonda said, “expect…why do I have a giraffe’s neck!?”

"I was trying to capture the spirit of your neck,” Kalino replied.

Rhonda frowned. “Zipporah.”

Zipporah revealed her poster; in it several people exploded into bloody chunks.

“I took a symbolic approach with my art,” Zipporah stated. “Here all of the world’s evils have exploded in a firework, symbolizing they are their own downfall; dictators, politicians, criminals, celebrities, my parents, etc. But the fireworks are fizzled, signifying the lack of justice in the real world.”

“Wait,” Rhonda said, “Am I one of those people blowing up?”

“That person is a symbol of television and media’s false, perpetuating views,” Zipporah replied. “Any similarities to an actual person is completely coincidental.”

“My name is written next to it!” Rhonda shouted.

"It’s called taking artistic liberties,” Zipporah said.

“While Zipporah’s work is horribly disturbing,” Rhonda said, “I enjoy the symbolism. So the Fireworks win.”

Zipporah sighed, “Yay, a pointless victory."


At the next challenge, the newcomers gathered outside of a wrestling ring where a cage was suspended in the air.

“I’ll be honest about this one,” Rhonda said. “It’s a steel cage match! First one to knock their opponent unconscious wins! Lets get ready to rumble!”

The Eagles huddled together.

“Dang,” Bethany said, “if I’d have known we’d wrestle in a cage, I would have waited for this challenge.”

“Nonsense,” Vance stated, “that’s plum ridiculous.”

“What?” Bethany replied. “Why?”

“It’s not a lady’s place to fight,” Vance said. “You’d chip a nail."

Bethany rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I don't care to argue with you now." 


"I'm starting to regret my alliance with Yosemite Sam here," Bethany stated. "He's not much of a good guy..."


“We'll discuss outdated gender roles with you later,” Hayden said. “Does anyone have wrestling experience?”

“Well shoot,” Vance said, “I uh…wrestled hogs all the time on the… farm I totally lived at. Plus, I ride bulls for a living. I’ll do it.”


The Fireworks huddled together as well.

“I got this!” Lita stated. “I'm a boxer." 

"Really?" Seraphina asked. 

Mmhmm," Lita stated. "I'm more than just a pretty face. They call me Lightning Lita, because one quick strike from my right hook, and it is lights out baby!" 

"Nice," Riley complimented. "I wanted to give it a try though. I’m on the wrestling team. Rock, paper, scissors you for it?”

Lita smirked. "Sounds fair." 

“Neither of you should do it,” Tessa stated. “First off it’s not lady-like behavior.”

“Some would say the same about participating in any sport,” Seraphina retorted. “Like I don’t know, the Olympics?”

“That’s completely different,” Tessa replied. “Some sports are male and female, and some are divided by gender; aren't you worried they'll likely send in a male contestant, who is likely physically bigger than you? 

“I beat dudes all the time,” Riley replied, “But Lita papered my rock, so she’s going to win this one.”

“You know it!” Lita said, as she stepped into the cage.

Vance raised his eyebrow as the cage rose in the air.

“Go!” Rhonda shouted.

“I’d just like to state,” Tessa announced, “That I do not condone this act and believe we shouldn’t even be participating in this.”

“I’d just like to state,” Seraphina mocked, “That no one gives a **** Tessa.”

“This ain't right,” Vance said. "I'm not gonna fight no girl!" 

“Good,” Lita replied, “then this will be easy.”

Lita charged forward and tackled Vance into the cage's bars, then grabbed and twisted his arm.

“Agh!” Vance grunted, as he pushed Lita off. “Fine then, I’ll fight ya!”

“Prove it cowboy!” Lita teased.

Vance charged forward…and ran right into Lita’s fist, hitting him on the ground. He recoiled in pain as Lita backed up, ran forward, jumped and…

“Elbow drop!” Lita screamed.

“Have mercy,” Vance whimpered.

After dropping him, Lita put Vance in a chokehold. “WOO! Sorry honey, but mama needs this win.”

Lita released Vance…before she knocked him out with a punch from her right fist.

The Fireworks cheered as Lita blew kisses.

“You weren’t kidding about that right hook,” Riley cheered.

“Ooh,” Xidorn winced, “you think Vance is okay?”

Bethany smirked. “I think he chipped a nail.”


Eventually, once Vance regained consciousness, the team’s gathered outside of a maze that the interns had constructed.

“First, you have to select someone to compete in the next challenge, no clues,” Rhonda said, “At the same time, someone will do the next trial with our interns’ project.”

“It’s the speed challenge,” Griswold recalled.

“Me and my brother are on the track team,” Easton said. “He’ll probably compete for his team.”

“Don’t worry dude,” Griswold said. “I’m sure your bro will be fine.”

“I might as well do it,” Tessa stated, “part of my Olympic training involves distance running and sprints.”

“Sounds good, I can do that maze then,” Riley said. 

Weston and Tessa were chosen for the first challenge and lead away. Hayden and Riley stepped up for the next challenge.

“Our interns have finished the maze,” Rhonda said. “However, you two won’t be going in. Instead, you’ll be standing on platforms and giving commands via headset to Jenny or Toby, who’ll be in the maze blindfolded. First to get their person out, wins.”

Hayden and Riley took their places and began.

“Alright Jenny,” Hayden said, “take a right.”

“Just one question,” Jenny said, “which way is right again?”

“Well,” Hayden said. “turn…turn…there go forward! Great job. Now turn again…”

“You’re doing good man,” Riley said. “Now hold on, I need to make my fingers into Ls to know my left or right. You ever to do that…”

“Straight forward for about teen feet till you get to a wall,” Hayden said, “so be careful.”

“I’ve actually explored a lot of mazes,” Jenny said. “Usually I-“

“-Jenny I’d love to talk with you,” Hayden said, “maybe schedule a psych session. But I need to win this challenge, so let’s talk later, I promise. Now turn…”

“…And that’s how I crashed my moped,” Riley said. “You don’t talk much Toby, what’s your story?”

“I don’t care about anything,” Toby replied.

“That’s chill brotato chip,” Riley stated. “There’s a lot of stress in the world, gives people a heart attack everyday.”

“Hayden has won!” Rhonda announced.

“Whoops,” Riley said.

Hayden hugged Jenny. “Thank you Jenny, you did wonderful.”

“I always do,” Jenny replied.


The newcomers gathered outside of the Lincoln Memorial again. Tessa and Weston walked in.

“I’m sorry you guys,” Weston said. “It was close…but she beat me in the last second.”

“Don't sweat it Weston,” Bethany said. “You did your best.”

“Exactly,” Hayden said, “and we appreciate it; that’s all we can ask for.”

Weston nodded, but turned his head to the Fireworks, seeing his brother high-five Griswold.

“Now it’s time for the final event,” Rhonda said. “The Eagles lead by a point, but this event could decide it. You’ve all realized the trick behind these challenges, so you know this is an endurance event. Only one person on each team hasn’t gone…”

“That’s me,” Melissa stated, stepping forward. 

“Wait, whose are last member?” Ness asked.

“I am,” that one guy said.

“Oh hey man, when did you get here?” Griswold asked.

“I’ve been here the whole time,” Jonas Jasper said.

“Jenny, Toby,” Rhonda said. “Would you care to show them what the endurance test is?”

Jenny snickered as the interns carried over covered bowls and Toby pulled out a blender.

“We’ve prepared a special recipe for you,” Jenny said. “A special juice containing locally grown cockroaches, organic pigeon poop, old man sweat, just born maggots…and black licorice!”

The newcomers gasped in horror.

Weston fainted on Cynthia. “Black licorice; The horror! Won’t someone think of the children!”


“I actually really like black licorice,” Ness said.


Jenny pressed a button on the blender. “Each turn, you’ll drink a small glass of this. Person who throws up or gives up first loses.”

“You can do this Melissa,” Aiden cheered.

Melissa held back a gag. “I’m sorry, I’ll try but I don’t have a strong stomach.”

“How’s your stomach dude?” Griswold asked.

“Average,” Jasper replied.

Toby sat out little glasses as Jenny poured out the concoction.

Jasper stared at Melissa as he suddenly chugged a whole glass. He twitched but slammed the glass on the table.

“Tasty,” Jasper coughed.

Melissa’s eyes grew wide as she ran over to a trashcan and heaved in it.

The Fireworks cheered and whooped.

“With that,” Rhonda said. “we have…a tie; six wins for the Fireworks, five for the Eagles plus their point lead.”

“So now what?” Seraphina asked.

“Now,” Rhonda replied, “you’ll do the final test."

"Final test?" Ignacio asked.

"Don’t you remember the last thing I mentioned in that speech?" Rhonda asked. "Teamwork. This will be a water challenge, cause we need to show some skin, so we went through your luggage and stole your swimsuits…it’s not as creepy as it sounds. Oh, and by the way Ness; we were able to find your stuff.”

Ness gasped and nearly broke down into tears as Lita patted her on the back.


Ness looked down towards the floor. “I’ve brought disaster as soon as I was born… I’m bad luck. Yet I’m chosen to be on one of the most popular reality shows of all time? I thought my luck might change if I was here. And it is; Total Drama might just be my good luck charm.”


All the newcomers changed into their swimsuits, except for…

“Kalino!” Rhonda shouted. “Why are you naked?”

Kalino shrugged, not even bothering to cover up. “It took so much offer to get my clothes off, imagine how much it would take to put more on.”

“Whatever,” Rhonda sighed. “For the final challenge, you and your team will race back to the hotel. You can take a greased toboggan down a giant slip and slide maze! You’ll..."

"Pardon, but how will we use a toboggan?" Ignacio asked. "I mean Washington is not on a hill. Without an incline, we have no gravity to propel the tobggan and-"

Ignacio blushed and froze when he noticed all the looks on him. 

Rhonda blinked. "Uh...well, that's why Toby is going to glue wheels on it. And you'll use sticks to push it through the slip and slide."

Toby shook his head and sighed as walked off. 

Rhonda cleared her throat. "Anyway, you'll have to navigate from the Lincoln Memorial all the way to the finish line back at the hotel. However you won’t be going alone…”

Jenny walked over to the Eagles carrying a box as Toby did the same for the Fireworks.

Hayden opened the box. A featherless eagle chick popped its head out and screeched. Riley found an old, damaged firework in her team’s box.

“Poor baby,” Melissa said, as she took the eagle chick into her hands and nuzzled it.

“Each team must cross the finish line with their team’s mascot,” Rhonda clarified. “Now…GO!”

The teams dashed off.

“Aiden stand on the back of the toboggan,” Hayden stated. “You know Washington best, you’ll be our guide.”

Aiden saluted as the Eagles took off.

“Hurry up, we’re losing!” Tessa yelled as the Fireworks started.

“Oops I forgot to mention the obstacles on the course,” Rhonda snickered with her co-hosts.

The Eagles dashed down the streets, turning street corners with rapid success. 

“Nice job everyone,” Hayden stated. 

“Woo!” Bethany cheered, high-fiving Xidorn. “We are all killing it!”

“We aren’t too far off,” Aiden said. “In five or ten minutes we’ll be there!”


The Fireworks however…

“We’re slowing down!” Pascal announced as the Fireworks tilted from side to side.

“Thanks captain obvious,” Tessa replied, nearly losing her stick. 

“Wait, haven’t we pasted Independence Avenue already?” Ness asked.

“Three times actually,” Zipporah said.


At the same time, the Eagles passed another street corner.

“We’re faster than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking competition!” Vance yelled.

“Is that fast?” Xidorn asked.

“Oh jeepers,” Aiden yelled, “a brick wall straight ahead!”

“Left!”

The Eagles titled left and cheered as they swerved away from the wall.


As for the Fireworks…

“Brick wall!” Seraphina shouted. “We need to tilt-“

“Left!”

“Right!”

The Fireworks tilted…and crashed into the wall first face.

“Wow,” Zipporah said spinning, “our teamwork is so good we can stir into a wall. Go Fireworks.”

Seraphina looked up to see a street sign that read Independence Avenue.

“Ugh!” Seraphina sighed. “That’s it, taxi!”

“What are you doing?” Tessa asked.

“Rhonda said we could use the slip and slide,” Seraphina answered as she hailed a taxi. “Not that we have to. Cabbie, take us to the Pentagon Hotel.”

“And step on it please!” Pascal shouted as he entered the taxi.


Like their namesake, the Eagles soared down the street.

“I see it!” Melissa cheered. “The hotel is just down this hill!”

“And them darn Fireworks ain’t nowhere to be seen,” Vance added.

Honk!

“Is that taxi riding us?” Xidorn asked.

In the taxi, the Fireworks were crammed into the back.

“Oh driver,” Pascal said, “could you pretty, pretty, please run those children off the road? Please, with cinnamon and love on top?”

The taxi rammed into the toboggan.

“What the ****!” Xidorn shouted. “It’s the Fireworks! They can’t do that…can they?”

Bethany smirked. “Everybody, hold your ground and don’t let them pass; if they want to play rough, we’ll play rough! Go Eagles!”

“Go Eagles!” the team shouted as they swerved to the left and blocked the taxi.


Jenny, Toby and Rhonda watched from the finish line.

“I say we give this race an explosive ending,” Jenny chuckled as she pressed a red button.

“Right!” Hayden yelled, as the Eagles blocked the taxi again.

Beep…beep…beep…

Aiden’s eyes grew wide. “Um, does anyone else hear that…”

Tessa rolled down the window and stuck out her arm as the taxi tried to butt its way next to the sled.

“Yeah,” Frannie replied. “It sounds like…”

An explosion went off, causing both teams to spin out of control and the taxi to lite on fire. Tessa grabbed Melissa’s pigtail, yanking it as the explosion went off and causing the sweetheart to drop her team’s mascot…right before they crossed the finish line.

The taxi crossed the finish line right after…and crashed into the side of the building.

“We did it!” Weston cheered.

“If by it you mean lose,” Jenny said. “Then yes you did.”

“Since the Eagles didn’t carry their mascot across the finish line,” Rhonda said, “the Fireworks win by default!”

Riley was the last one to stumble out of the taxi, still in the wall. “Woo! Default is the best fault to have.”

Griswold’s eyes grew wide. “Riley, where is the firew-“

Suddenly, the firework went off and the taxi blew up into a smoldering heap.

“Eh,” Rhonda said, “we’ll fix it later.”

“This isn’t fair!” Xidon stated. “They took a taxi!”

Rhonda beamed. “I was hoping someone would catch my loophole! Nice Fireworks.”

Xidorn frowned. “I saw Tessa attack Melissa and force the eagle chick out of her hands.”

“There wasn’t a rule against it,” Tessa stated as she swatted her ponytail in Xidorn's face.

“This is true,” Rhonda said. “There was a rule against not having your mascot however.”

Hayden grabbed Xidorn’s shoulder. “Give it up bud, her mind is set; we’re voting off someone tonight."

Jenny smirked. “Uh oh Hayden…”

If you remember,” Rhonda said, “I said the winners of the first challenge get an extra special reward!”

“Oh goody goody good!” Pascal cheered.

“Aw jeez, they get that while we vote off one of our own,” Aiden sighed.

“Not exactly,” Rhonda said, “you see the Fireworks’ reward is…they’ll vote off the first member of your team tonight!”

A few of the Eagles (and Fireworks) gasped.

“What?” Xidorn said. “That’s completely unfair!”

“Sorry, those are the breaks kid,” Rhonda replied. “We’ll vote in two hours; Fireworks I’d discuss this amongst yourselves and Eagles…it wouldn’t be a bad idea pack your bags, just in case.”

The Eagles were silent and didn’t move as the Fireworks left, no longer cheering. 


Diamonique sat down for a meal in the cafeteria and noticed Frannie biting her lemur's nails.

“Aren't you worried?” Frannie asked.

“Nah, this food seems edible enough,” Diamonique replied.

“I meant about the votes,” Frannie said. “We both won our challenges…we could be the first ones voted out.”

“It’s not us Frannie,” Diamonique replied. “They’ll go for the more obvious type, the ones that look stronger than us. We’re too silly.”

“Huh…I guess that’s another perk of being a comedic relief character,” Frannie said.

“Okay, sure,” Diamonique said. “On the other hand, that’s the same reason we could be targeted at a future vote. People will underestimate us.”

“You think?” Frannie asked.

They will me at least,” Diamonique replied. “Most people have my whole life.”

“So what should we do?” Frannie asked.

“We got to try and show our stuff at challenges, “ Diamonique said. “And we need to make friends, form alliances, get people to like us, trust us, then vote with us.”

“Well,” Frannie said, “I’m happy to know there is someone I can trust here.”

Diamonique smiled. “Right back at ya’ girl.”


The Fireworks gathered together in Lita, Ness and Seraphina’s room.

“Where’s Tessa?” Easton asked.

“Dudette refused to meet in this room,” Riley sighed.

“I’m kind of uncomfortable about this whole thing,” Griswold admitted. “Feels…really mean.”

“Maybe we should just ask the Eagles who’d they vote for,” Ness suggested.

“You guys, we have a golden goose right here,” Pascal stated. “This is our reward that we earned and we need to use it! It’s part of the game.”

“I kind of agree with Pascal,” Seraphina admitted. “If we hadn’t gotten lucky the Eagles would be doing the same to us. They nearly beat us. We need to make them weaker.”

Pascal nodded. “Whose the first person on the Eagles you think of when you think of a threat?”

Everyone was quiet for a second.

“Bethany,” Easton admitted.

“What?” Griswold stated.

"She is a big physical threat,” Ignacio said.

“But she saved me from the scarabs!” Ness defended. “She doesn’t deserve that…”

“My first thought was Hayden,” Seraphina admitted. “He’s become their leader after all.”

“And that Brofessor’s strong too,” Riley added.

“Are we not going to mention Cynthia?” Lita asked. “She killed at the challenge…literally. I don’t think I’d want to go against her in a challenge…or even just keep her around long.”

“Even I find her eerie,” Zipporah admitted.

“Everyone,” Pascal said, “We all don’t have to write down the same name, but I think we all know who needs to go…”


Xidorn trekked down the hall. He stopped when he heard crying. He turned and opened a closet to find Bethany.

“Hey,” Xidorn said, “you okay?”

Bethany looked away, wiping her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry.”

“What do you have to be sorry about?” Xidorn replied.

“I don’t know,” Bethany replied. “I didn’t want anyone to see me cry. My mom and dad always say only losers cry.”

“Then I’m a pretty big loser,” Xidorn replied. “I cry all the time; heck every time I see a rainbow I cry.”

Bethany giggled. “It’s just…I should have tried harder out there today.”

“You tried your best,” Xidorn said. 

"My best wasn’t good enough,” Bethany said. “I’m worried…it could be me going home.”

“You don’t deserve to go home,” Xidorn said. “I…I don’t want you to go home. I know I can’t change it, but I honestly don’t believe it will be you.”

“You never lie,” Bethany replied.

“Exactly,” Xidorn said.

Bethany sighed and sat down. “It’s just…to be the first one out…I feel like you can never live that down. My parents wouldn’t let me forget it…”

“What is up with your parents?” Xidorn asked, sitting next to her. “I’m sorry but to be honest they’re bugging me.”

“Okay,” Bethany said. “Don’t tell anyone but the truth is…my entire family are professional athletes.”

"All of them?” Xidorn asked.

Bethany nodded. “My mom’s a champion tennis player, my brother’s on an NFL team and my dad is a Harlem Globetrotter. They put a lot of pressure on me; they don’t even think shot put is a real sport!”

“Have they lifted one of those things?” Xidorn replied.

Bethany laughed. “Psh, not enough. They just expect first place out of me…and I might get last.”

Xidorn hugged Bethany. “I think you’re a winner.”

Bethany sniffed. “Thanks.”


At the same time, Aiden and Hayden were unpacking in their rooms.

“I’m worried,” Aiden admitted.

“Hey,” Hayden replied, “don’t be. You’re going to be just fine pal.”

“I think I will,” Aiden said. “I mean I lost the challenge. I’m worried about you.”

Hayden froze. “Me? You think I’d be up for elimination?”

“If I had to vote one of us off,” Aiden said, “you’d be high on the list.”

Hayden gulped, but shook himself. “Hey, I’ll be fine bud. Let’s not waste time worrying about it; it’s out of here hands now. We got to stay strong team, keep our chins up. Can you do that?”

Aiden smiled and nodded. “Will do sir!”

Aiden dashed off as Hayden watched and smiled. But as soon as Aiden was gone, Hayden sighed and fell on the bed. "It might actually be me..."


In Melissa and Cynthia’s room, Cynthia polished her knives as Melissa entered carrying clothes.

“You’re clothes are all nice and tidy,” Melissa said.

Cynthia nodded, not looking up.

Melissa set them on a dresser. She looked in the mirror, sighing at her reflection. 

Cynthia sat her knives down.

“I understand we have to vote someone off," Melissa said, "but this is different. At least we had the power to make a choice if we were voting. Now it could be someone who doesn’t deserve it, like Aiden or Hayden or Xidorn or Bethany or Weston or Diamonique or Vance or Frannie or Kalino or…”

Cynthia stared.

“Everyone tried today,” Melissa replied. “It’s not fair for them to go. But I was deadweight out there. Maybe I should just volunteer to leave.”

“You’re being an idiot,” Cynthia said. “You tried too. Sometimes, people lose.”

“You're right Cynthia,” Melissa replied. “I’m going to do a little baking. Care for anything?”

Cynthia shook her head, and began sharpening her knives again.

“Okay,” Melissa replied. “And…thanks for listening Cynthia.”

Cynthia didn’t look up from her knifes.


“It could be me tonight,” Bethany said. “I do have my alliance though. I talked to Pascal who said he was steering the vote away from me. I can’t give up; I’m not a quitter. I’ve just got to keep my head held high.”


“Aiden is right,” Hayden said, “I might be going home tonight; which would suck. The other team hardly knows me…not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I hope if I do go my siblings aren't watching, I'd be so embarrassed to have their older brother be first out."


Cynthia stabbed a knife in the wall, turned to the camera…and then the feed went to static.


All the newcomers followed Rhonda inside a new room of the hotel.

“Welcome everyone to the Hotel’s…Haunted Internet Café!”

They stepped into a well-lit, average looking Internet Café.

"Yeah…it was new edition,” Rhonda admitted. “Still, you don’t want to be here, because here is where our elimination ceremonies take place.”

Rhonda pointed to a booth in the corner.

“Inside the voting booth in the corner,” Rhonda explained, “you’ll use the computer and select the Total Drama Genesis application. “

Zipporah frowned.

You’ll be uploaded to your page,” Rhonda continued, “where you’ll see a section marked ‘teammates'. You’ll click on the icon of the person you want to cast a vote against. If their icon is ‘gold’ however, then their ‘status’ is invincible, and their icon is not clickable, meaning they’ve won invincibility.”

“This all sounds like a product tie-in,” Zipporah stated.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rhonda replied. “Unrelated, for viewers at home you can go online and buy your own version as an app for your smartphone!”

“However you turds can save yourself even if you don’t have invincibility,” Jenny teased.

Rhonda nodded. “Hidden in this hotel are three flash drives, which you can connect to the computer before votes are cast. This can allow you to grant ‘secret immunity’ to someone, including yourself, and cancel out all their votes.”

“The first two are team exclusive,” Toby explained, “red for the Fireworks and blue for the Eagles. Only a member from that team can use that flash drive at an elimination ceremony.”

“But,” Rhonda said, “the golden flash drive can be used by anyone at any elimination ceremony! It’s the ultimate lifesaver and yet the most well hidden of all the flash drives! It may never, ever even be found…”


Kalino chuckled as he held up the golden flash drive. “Sure Rhonda, sure.”


For this elimination ceremony, all Fireworks will be able to vote for the Eagles,” Rhonda explained. “ Now, let’s get to it.”

The Fireworks nodded, and one by one went into the booth...


Zipporah cast her vote for Cynthia. “It's not that I'm scared of you or anything, you're just good in challenges. ...don't tell Cynthia I said that.”


Riley cast her vote for Hayden. “Sorry man, I’m sure your cool. You have my respect for beating me in that challenge. Heck, if you made it far you'd seem like someone I'd want to win. Which is why I’m voting for you now. See ya Broda.”


Easton cast his vote for Bethany. “You’re an obvious threat. That's all there is to it. Sorry it has to be this way.”


Seraphina cast her vote. “As long as it isn’t me.”


Pascal cast his vote. “Eenie...meanie...minnie...you. You’re simply to big a threat to myself and I can’t have you stopping my plans for winning. I won't sugar coat it; I’m enjoying I’ll be able to make you the first one sent home. Better luck next time...if they ever invite you back.”


“All the votes have been cast,” Rhonda announced from behind a podium. “When I call your name, you will receive a cup of coffee, signifying your safety…for now. The person who does not get a coffee will become that most pathetic of God’s creatures: the very first to be eliminated from an elimination game show. You will then exit through the Revolving Doors of Shame, and leave on the Public Transportation of Losers. ”

The Eagles eyed the Fireworks, who sat and looked the other way.

“The first coffee goes to…Diamonique.”

Diamonique smirked and caught her cup.

“Kalino. Frannie. Weston.”

The three smiled; Weston winked at his brother.

“Xidorn…Vance…Melissa…”

Only Melissa failed to smile at catching her coffee.

“Aiden...”

Aiden sighed.

“The rest of you all received votes,” Rhonda announced. “Bethany, you’re a physically strong and have friends on both teams. Hayden, you’ve taken the leadership position easily. And Cynthia…”

Cynthia stared.

Rhonda yelped. “Um…yeah. However, one of you received the majority of the votes. The last two coffee cups go to…”

















“…Cynthia and Hayden. Bethany, you’re out.”

Bethany stood up and sighed. “Good luck you guys; Go Eagles.”

Not looking back, she exited the Revolving Doors of Shame.

Rhonda turned to the twenty-one newcomers, all who still had a shot. "I suggest you all get a goodnight’s rest; it only gets harder from here.”

Chapter 4 Sweet Dreams (Aren't Made Of This)[]

Melissa slumped into her room. Cynthia was nowhere to be found.

“Maybe some reading will cheer me up,” Melissa said. 

She approached the bookshelf. “Let’s see…Sweeny Todd, Hannibal Rising, To Serve Man…ooh a cookbook!”

Melissa removed the book…and the bookshelf slid away to reveal a secret passage.

“How thoughtful!” Melissa exclaimed as she entered the passage.


Around midnight, Pascal exited his room and tiptoed down the hallway. 

“Now if I were a flash drive where would I hide?” he whispered.

Pascal turned towards a potted plant. He smirked digging in the hands into the dirt.

“Pascal?”

He turned around to see Seraphina.

“Oh Seraphina,” Pascal said, “how funny to see you here…at the hotel we’re all staying at. Wait, what are you doing up?”

“I can't sleep,” Seraphina replied. “I thought a walk might help. What are you doing?”

“Me?” Pascal asked. “I…had to tinkle! Yeah, but Kalino fell asleep in the bathroom so I used the bathroom downstairs. And then I dropped my contact…in this pot. Oh look there it is!”

Pascal slapped some dirt against face.

“Okie dokie,” Pascal replied. “Well I better go catch some Zs. Great work today, so glad we’re teammates, bye!”

Pascal dashed off as Seraphina raised an eyebrow. She walked down to another floor but stopped when she heard a scream.

She turned to see Xidorn watching an old movie in a TV room. She noticed hair dye sitting out on a table.

“Hey,” Seraphina said. “You changing hair colors?”

“Oh hey,” Xidorn said, “Yeah, thought I might add some red streaks to my hair.”

“I don’t know," Seraphina said. "I kind of like you better as a bluehead. Why red?"

“For Bethany.”

“Oh.”

“I know it seems silly,” Xidorn said, “but she was my friend. I don’t think she deserved to be first out.”

Seraphina looked to the ground. “I’m sorry she went home.”

“I don’t blame you guys,” Xidorn admitted. “It’s the nature of reality shows.”

“When you say it like that…then why are you here?” Seraphina asked.

"I want to try and win being an honest and nice person," Xidorn admitted. "It's kind of like life; its going to throw the worst it can at me, but I can still try to be the best person I can be. I might have to fight, but its worth fighting for. You know?”

“I guess I don’t think of life like that,” Seraphina replied.

A wolf howled on the TV.

“So,” Seraphina said, “what are you watching?”

Werewolf Shotgun Wedding,” Xidorn replied. “It’s this old monster movie about a werewolf who tries to find a bride. The ending is a twist, but I won’t spoil-“

“-Oh yeah,” Seraphina said, “when the werewolf marries the heroine she turns into an even greater monster; a naggy wife.”

“You’ve seen it?” Xidorn asked.

“I enjoy Z-movies,” Seraphina replied. “What about you?”

“I love them!” Xidorn said. “It's fascinating to see what directors try to do with a limited budget. These movies have a place in history too, they're the inspiration for a lot of modern directors like Guillermo Del Toro and Quentin Tarantino.”

Seraphina laughed. “I just like hammy actors and bad stunts.”

“You want to watch it with me?” Xidorn asked.

Seraphina nodded and sat next to him on the couch.


The next morning, Lita, Ness, Vance, Aiden, Hayden and Griswold walked to the mess hall.

“Ooh,” Ness exclaimed, “what is this wonderful smell?”

“Smells like pastries,” Griswold said.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Lita admitted.

Griswold chuckled. “I was just about to say the same thing.”

Lita winked. “Great minds think alike.”

Griswold blushed.

“Good morning everyone!” Melissa greeted from the serving hatch. “I hope you all had dreams as sweet as you are.”

“Melissa?” Aiden asked. “What are you doing in the kitchen?”

“The funniest thing happened,” Melissa explained. “I discovered secret passage from my room to the kitchen. I even got to take a cute little detour through an abandoned meat locker.”

“So why are you baking?” Hayden asked.

“Don’t complain!” Vance said as he ate cake with his bare hands.

“I was a bit sad after that elimination ceremony last night,” Melissa admitted. “Baking helps me feel better, so I did a little bit last night.”

Aiden opened the door to the kitchen, which released a tidal wave of pastries that drowned the contestants.

Melissa blushed. “Maybe more than a little. I was thinking I’d hand out most of them to the poor and homeless today.”

Vance doggy paddled through the pool of pastries. “Eh, they could buy their own desserts.”

A timer dinged.

Melissa clapped. “Ooh, my newest treats are done. Would you all care to try some?”

They all nodded. Melissa returned with a tray of cupcakes.

“I made pupcakes,” Melissa said. “They’re cupcakes that look like puppies.”

“I’ll try a chocolate,” Aiden stated.

“Those are the chocolate labradoodles,” Melissa explained.

“I’ll take a fluffy one,” Ness said.

“Those are walnut wire-poos,” Melissa said. “You aren’t allergic to walnuts, are you?”

“Not that I know of,” Ness replied as she bit in to the cupcake.


Five minutes later, Ness laid in a stretcher that was loaded into an ambulance by emergency workers.

“I guess I am allergic to walnuts,” Ness wheezed as she burst into more hives.

Lita entered the back of the ambulance. “I’ll go with you Ness, in case you need any help.”

“I’m so, so sorry Ness!” Melissa said as the ambulance drove off.

“Don’t put yourself down Melissa,” Aiden said. “I was thinking I could help you pack the pastries. We could give them out together while I gave you a tour of Washington.”

Melissa yawned. “Oh that’d be splendid. I’d love to if its not too much trouble.”

“Not in the least,” Aiden replied.

“Sorry bud,” Hayden said, “but your play date will have to wait. Melissa's been baking all night, haven’t you?”

Melissa nodded.

“You know sleep deprivation is very serious,” Hayden stated. “Not to mention you’re still growing at your age. You need at least eight hours of rapid eye movement sleep.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a nap,” Melissa said.

Hayden picked Melissa up and threw her over his shoulder. “Come on kid, lets get you tucked in.”

“Thank you for the concern,” Melissa said, “but you don’t have to car-“

“-I’m doing this because I care,” Hayden interrupted. “Now try and get a head start on your sleep.”


Later, Ignacio panted as he ran through the halls of the hotel. Ignacio froze as he came to a dead end. On the wall hung a faded portrait…whose eyes moved and followed Ignacio.

“Ignacio…come out, come out wherever you are!”

The model shook as he tried to open doors, only to find them locked.

"Oh Iggy!” Frannie called from the next hallway over. “You can’t hide, Diamonique has your scent.”

Diamonique sniffed the ground like a bloodhound. “You smell like a dirty ox. It's strangely attractive.”

Ignacio finally opened a door, running inside and locking it behind him.

“We made you something Iggy!” Frannie yelled. “It’s a bell necklace and not at all an attempt to hear your every movement so we can stalk you.”

“Darn,” Diamonique said, “the trail ends cold.”

Ignacio sighed but heard a door open. He turned around to see Riley walking out, topless with her lower half wrapped in a towel. Ignacio turned red and stared.

Riley flashed a peace sign. “S’up dude.”

Ignacio turned away. “I’m so sorry! I…I didn’t…I was-“

“-I heard your fangirls,” Riley replied as she started to dress. “I’d hide too.”

“Thanks,” Ignacio replied, “but I didn’t mean…you without…I’m not a pervert!”

Riley laughed. “Chill Broseph Stalin, its not like I haven’t seen you shirtless. Besides, I figure everybody here has seen boobs, intentional or not.”

Ignacio nodded. “You aren’t wanting-”

“-Nah,” Riley said, “you’re fine don’t get me wrong, but you’re not my usual type. I like my men like I like my energy drinks. Freaky.”

“Okay…” Ignacio replied.

“If you're interested,” Riley said, “me, Gris Bear and the Twinners are going out for some ‘broritos’. You should come.”

“Oh, uh…” Ignacio replied, “that sounds fun, sure.”


Outside in the hallway, Frannie and Diamonique gave up their search and went to the cafeteria as the eyes in the portrait watched them leave…

…Until Frannie back flipped to the portrait and poked the eyes out.

Rhonda recoiled in pain inside a secret room.

“It's rude to stare,” Jenny said, as she and Toby entered.

"Hey,” Rhonda said, “have the ratings come back yet?”

Toby nodded.

“And?”

“They were fine,” Toby replied.

“Fine?” Rhonda asked. “We had an hour and a half premiere of the return of a legendary television show, and the ratings are…fine?”

“Yeah, what part didn’t you understand?” Toby asked.

Rhonda slumped in her chair. “What now?”

“Give up and admit we’ll never succeed in life?” Jenny suggested.

“There must be something we can do!” Rhonda shouted.

“Well,” Jenny said, “we need to get people talking about it. Let’s stir up the doo-doo with these goody two shoes! We can manufacture some drama; for example we could reveal to Aiden that Melissa-”

“-We aren’t forcing drama,” Rhonda interrupted. “The point of a reality show is to capture the reality of people reacting and adapting to the challenges and situation of the game.”

“Oh yeah,” Jenny stated, “what about twists?”

“Twists are built in a reality show’s DNA,” Rhonda answered. “There’s a difference between changing the gameplay and forcing a conflict between people.”

“It would get people talking if we revealed that about Melissa,” Jenny pointed out. “It will come out at some point anyway.”

“That's not what I want people talking about,” Rhonda replied. “I know it’ll come out, but it needs to happen at its own pace. If we force it, we’ll focus too much on it and it won't play out.”

“Everyone knows the big dogs of reality TV makes up the drama to tell a story,” Jenny replied. “We’d be doing the same thing.”

“I’m not a fan of that approach in other shows,” Rhonda replied. “It ruins people’s chances in the game and it’s dishonest to our audience. We’d be selling out.”

“So you’re a fan of not being employed?” Jenny asked. “I get it Rhonda, you want reality shows to be real. But that isn’t how reality shows are anymore; if they even were that way to start with! They meddle in others’ lives for their entertainment and people expect it. They want it!”

Rhonda shifted her eyes. “Toby…what do you think?”

“Do it,” Toby stated.

“Dang it you’re suppose to be my good angel Toby!” Rhonda shouted.

“I don’t really give a **** what happens,” Toby said.

Jenny batted her eyelashes. “It’s either your integrity or keeping your career, your favorite childhood show and not having to admit to the world and yourself you couldn’t accomplish your dreams.”

“Why do I keep you around?” Rhonda sighed.

“Because I’m right,” Jenny said, “and cute as a kitten!”

"A dead kitten on the side of the road,” Toby said.

"YOUR MOM!" Jenny yelled.??


In the library, Zipporah was reading. She heard a dragging noise and turned to the doorway, where she saw Cynthia carry a full trashbag through the hallways.


"I've been reading journal entries made by the owner of the hotel," Zipporah explained. "Its been great inspiration for my poetry. So has been living in the same place as Cynthia. She's hardcore...and I don't know how to feel about it..."


Cynthia opened the trash bag and pulled out packed desserts.


"Cynthia is such a good friend!" Melissa exclaimed. "She helped Aiden and I give pastries to the needy. I cannot understand why people distrust her, just because she's different. Every has their own talent that makes them special; for some it’s a sport, some its making art and for Cynthia its her ability to wield weapons and hurt other living things. Its not our place to judge."


At the same time, Griswold and Easton walked out to the lobby.

“Thanks for inviting me out for burritos,” Easton said.

“Don’t mention it man,” Griswold said. “We’re teammates now, that’s what we do.”

Easton nodded. “Yeah. I guess this is a team trip…sorry my brother is tagging along.”

“I don’t mind,” Griswold replied. “Riley rooms with him and if he’s anything like you than he’s a cool dude.”

Easton smiled.

Just then Weston tripped down of the staircase and faceplanted in front of the two.

“Sick wipeout dude,” Griswold said.

“You okay Weston?” Easton asked.

Weston jumped up and glomped his twin. “Of course, now that I’m with my best friend.”

Riley and Ignacio, wearing his hood up, exited the stairway.

“Hey,” Riley said, “Ignacio’s joining our brohemin rhapsody. Hope that’s cool.”

Griswold high-fived Ignacio. “Heck yeah! Nice to have you here!”


At the same time, Tessa marched down in the halls and ran into Xidorn.

“Sorry,” Xidorn said, looking for his glasses.

Tessa stood up and handed Xidorn his glasses. “No harm, no foul.”

Xidorn looked up to see Tesssa and frowned.

“Do you have a problem?” Tessa asked.

“To be honest yes,” Xidorn replied.

“Let me guess,” Tessa said, “you’ve seen my interviews.”

“Yes,” Xidorn replied, “but that’s not it. I’ve heard you’ve been talking smack about Bethany since she left.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Tessa replied, “you’ve never been bullied.”

“I wear rainbow suspenders to a public high school,” Xidorn replied. “I’ve been bullied.”

“Then why are you upset I sent some dumb jock home?” Tessa asked.

“Bethany wasn’t dumb,” Xidorn replied. “She never said a mean thing to you.”

She was being fake,” Tessa said. “People like her talk crap about others when they aren’t saying it to your face.”

“If the pot isn’t calling the kettle black,” Xidorn replied.

“You don’t know anything about me!” Tessa yelled.

“Did you know anything about Bethany?” Xidorn asked. “Did you ever have a full conversation with her? No, you didn’t. What gives you the authority to judge and not anyone else?”

“You’re just another person trying to get in with the cool people,” Tessa said. “To do that you’re just using me as a stepping stone. I’ve seen it; people have done it to me before. I’ll tell you know they won’t respect you no matter what you do.”

“The same way you don’t respect anyone no matter how they try and talk to you?” Xidorn asked.

“We’re both outsiders you know,” Tessa reasoned.

“I admit to not fitting in,” Xidorn said, “but I’m not like you; I don’t bottle my hate.”

Tessa opened her mouth but Xidorn turned away and left her alone to her thoughts.


Later, Ignacio, Easton, Weston, Riley and Griswold sat in Burrito Queen, as the customers stared at Ignacio.

“Wow,” Weston said holding up a jar, “they sure have a whole lot of peppers.”

Griswold finished a third burrito. “Hey Riley, I dare you to chug that whole glass of peppers. If you do, I’ll pay you-“

Riley slammed down the empty jar. “Done.”

“Dang,” Easton said, “how is your mouth...”

“…not on fire?” Weston finished.

“What can I say,” Riley replied. “I’m so cool, spicy foods don’t affect me.”

"You have my respect dude,” Griswold said. “I’ll buy you another burrito.”

“Nah man I’m stuffed,” Riley replied.

"Well, I'm going to have another,” Griswold said, “I think I’m going to try benching more, build up my muscle. I don’t want to get to flabby."

"I wouldn't be worried about that," Easton said. “You’re basically a brick house.”

“Except without pigs living in you,” Weston added.

Griswold chuckled. "Thanks. I know I shouldn't worry. Truth is though, before high school I was shrimpy."

The others laughed. 

"No, I'm serious," Griswold said. "I don't even know if I'd reach Riley's leg."

"Dude, really?" Riley asked. 

Griswold nodded. "I was shorter than five feet. Then puberty hit me."

"No way," Weston replied. "When is puberty going to hit me?"

"It already has Weston," Easton whispered.

"I can fathom that explanation," Ignacio replied. "I did not receive as much...attention before puberty."

"I wish puberty worked that way for me," Riley said. "Instead, my body just became awkward.”


The next day, Ness returned to her hotel room.

“Hey,” Seraphina greeted, “how did it go?”

“Well I’ll never be able to eat walnuts,” Ness said. “The good news is that they were able to stop the allergic reaction.”

Ness entered, wearing a neck brace. “Unfortunately some wild horse ran into the ambulance. Long story short, my neck is sprained. Only for a few days though.”

Lita entered with a a pureed drink. “Here you go honey, the doctors say you’ll have to drink your food for the next few days until your neck is healed. In the meantime, if you need anything just ask.”

Seraphina nodded.


That night, the teens were gathered in the cafeteria.

“Newcomers I am proud to say you’ve made it through your first few days,” Rhonda said. “Tomorrow's challenge will be early. For now though, we want to celebrate you're new journey. Which is why we’ve prepared a feast!”

Out of nowhere, the tables' candelabras lit up to reveal platters of food.

“Please enjoy to your heart's content!” Rhonda said. “You’ll need to eat up for the challenge tomorrow.”

The newcomers cheered, happily feasting. Only a few didn't pig out. By the end of the night, the teens had cleaned their plates and sat quietly amongst themselves.

“Is everyone full?” Rhonda asked.

“So much mannnnnnnn,” Kalino replied.

“Good,” Rhonda replied, “then let's begin the challenge!”

Everyone suddenly seemed more awake, except for Kalino.

“You said the challenge was going to be tomorrow,” Easton reminded.

“Not to mention most of you guys should be in bed,” Hayden said. “Right now it is-“

“-midnight,” Rhonda interrupted. “Making it tomorrow. I told you we’d start early.”


The newcomers moved into the hotel lobby.

“Welcome to what we like to call the Awake-A-Thon 2.0,” Rhonda announced. “It's simple. The team that falls asleep first loses, so stay awake as long as possible to win.”

“Wait,” Griswold said, “if the challenge was to stay awake as long as possible, how would eating help us win the challenge?”

“Would help you finish the challenge,” Rhonda corrected. “You finish the challenge by falling asleep.”

“Now slow the roll on your crazy train Rhonda,” Hayden stated. “This is a highly dangerous and inappropriate challenge. Are you aware what sleep deprivation can cause? Allow me to remind you; hallucinations, weakening of the immune system...”

“How much older is that guy?” Ness whispered to Lita.

“You all won’t be up for more than a few hours,” Rhonda interrupted. “We put some ground up sleeping pills in your food. If you really have such a problem with the challenge, you can always forfeit.”

Hayden pouted and sat back down.

“Now if everyone is done interrupting me,” Rhonda said.

“Wait I want to interrupt you too!” Frannie shouted.

Rhonda glared. “The rules for the challenge are simple; Fizzled Fireworks on the left side and the Molted Eagles to the right. No team intermingling; its troubling for the readers.”

“Readers?” Ignacio asked.

“Second you can’t leave the lobby unless you have my permission,” Rhonda stated. “So if you got to go, hold it. Don’t make a mess in this lobby.”

“Too late,” Kalino whispered.

“We’ll have designated times for you to leave the bathroom,” Rhonda added. “If you leave without permission you’re disqualified from this challenge. Now, lets get started.”

The teams slumped to their places. As the Eagles moved, Diamonique fell on her knees.

“Come on,” Frannie said helping her up, “you’re not out yet.”

"I’m going to hold on as long as I can,” Diamonique stated.

“It sounds like we need to get pumped,” Frannie said. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

Diamonique smirked. “DANCE IT OFF!”

Diamonique jumped up and started to twerk as Frannie started Russian squat dancing.


The Fireworks tried a different strategy…

“I was thinking,” Griswold said, “we should all gather around together and try to keep each other awake. Plus, it’d be a great way to get to know each other and become a stronger team.”

“Wow,” Zipporah said, “sit around sharing personal stories and singing Kumbaya songs with you guys? As tempting as that offer is, I think I’d rather talk to the painting with the shifting eyes.”

Tessa also refused the offer while the rest of the Fireworks gathered around.

“So what now?” Ignacio asked.

“Seraphina still owes me a tarot card reading,” Griswold stated. “If you’re interested."

Seraphina shifted her eyes. “I’ll give you a quick reading. But if you aren’t happy with the fortune its not my fault.”

Seraphina pulled out her deck of tarot cards and began shuffling them.

“How much do you charge for a reading?” Easton asked.

“I haven’t charged anyone for a long time,” Seraphina replied.

She laid out the cards and flipped one over, showing a man standing between two women.

“The Lovers card,” Seraphina stated. "It means you’re going to have a face a decision soon, and you’ll have to make a choice between two paths.”

"Do me," Ness said.

Seraphina flipped over a card that showed the grim reaper.

“I’m not even surprised,” Ness sighed.

“Hold on,” Seraphina said, “Death means change in tarot cards.”

“You mean,” Ness said, “like maybe my luck changing for the better?”

Seraphina smiled. “That’s what I think.”

"Me next!" Pascal stated. "It's like a fortune cookie with pictures."

He reached for a card; it was a tower struck by lightning and toppling over.

“Does that also mean something good in tarot cards?” Pascal asked.

“Uh…sure,” Seraphina replied.

“How many of these do you do a month?” Easton asked.

“I don’t do but a few a year,” Seraphina stated.

"Why?” Griswold asked.

Seraphina sighed. “I don’t know…people react negatively when they get a fortune they don’t like, or don’t see exactly what they wanted to see. My powers don’t come with a user manual. I’m just trying to help people…”

“Which is why you stopped charging for them, huh?” Lita guessed.

Seraphina blushed and nodded.


Over at the Eagles, Frannie flipped herself upside down.

Whenever I need a quick wake up I just stand on my hands,” Frannie said. “Let the blood slowly rush to my head.”

“I’ll try it,” Diamonique said.

She took off her beret, revealing the usually hidden top of her forehead…and a scar there. Diamonique tied her a hair up in a bun, revealing a few more scars on the sides of her head.

“Ooh Diamonique,” Frannie said, “those are rough scars.”

Diamonique sat on her head. “Huh?

Frannie pointed to her forehead.

"Oh,” Diamonique replied, “I forgot I had those.”

Hayden started at Diamonique. “Interesting… those marks are approximately at the frontal and temporal lobes of your brain.”

“So what of it,” Diamonique replied. “You’ve never a scar on somebody’s head before?”

“No, no,” Frannie replied. “Er…yes? I mean, sorry to make a deal out of it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being concerned about a teammate,” Hayden stated.

“Maybe you should be concerned about your nose,” Diamonique said. “Don’t want to get it hurt sticking it in other people’s business.”

Hayden rolled his eyes and walked away. “Alright fine, be childish.”

Diamonique blew a raspberry before she tipped over and fell on her face.

Aiden followed his roommate. “Zowie wowie Hayden, how did you know the parts of her brain?”

“I’m going for my psychology major,” Hayden replied.

“Oh,” Aiden said. “So why’d you point that out to Diamonique?”

“I was curious to see if she knew,” Hayden stated. “And she did.”

"How do you know?” Aiden asked.

Hayden cleared his throat. “Her overprotective reaction made it clear she’s sensitive about the subject, and from that I can deduce that she knows what I’ve theorized.”

“Which is?” Aiden asked.

“Keep up buddy,” Hayden replied, “those marks likely indicate her frontal and temporal lobe are damaged.”

“You mean…Diamonique has brain damage of some kind?” Aiden asked.

Hayden nodded slowly. “Yes bud. The point is, the frontal and temporal lobes are both related to the brain’s function of memory.”

“Why ask her about it?" Aiden said.

“I’m simply concerned for her,” Hayden replied. “I don’t want the poor kid having issues and not being able to express them. After the challenge we’ll have a talk.”


Thirty minutes later the scores were tied at nine. Pascal entertained the Fireworks with another tale...

“…And that’s how I saved my team from elimination,” Pascal finished.

“Wow, that was even better the fifth we’ve heard it,” Seraphina yawned.

“Man you killed that show,” Riley said. “How did you not win?”

Pascal’s eye twitched. “I ask myself that everyday. But I don’t dwell on-”

“-Oh yeah that girl wowed the other contestants with her final speech,” Griswold recalled. “What was her name…"

"Who remembers," Pascal said. "I-"

"-Amanda Picklestein!”

Pascal cringed.

“Oh man I loved her!” Griswold shouted. “She was my pick to win…uh, no offense.”

“HA,” Pascal laughed, “HA, HA. None taken, I could care less about that old show, even though it’s the farthest I’ve ever made on a reality show. But whose counting?”


“I don’t use the word hate,” Pascal stated. “I don’t even use dislike. It’s not in my vocabulary, like ‘quitting’, ‘tone it down’ or ‘rutabaga’. So when it comes to…Amanda Picklestein…I don’t hate her.”

Pascal smile widened as his eye twitched. “I despise Amanda Pickelstein with every bone and fiber in my body! She’s the grossest, crankiest, cross-eyed, ugliest, smelliest, sick, stupidest, scaly, shriveled, big headed, bug swallowing, repulsive, fanged, wart-ridden, psychotic, infested, omnivorous, ratchet, repugnant, repulsive abomination of a person I’ve ever had to breathe the same air as! And I’m not fond of her either.”


How is your neck doing, sweetie,” Lita asked Ness.

“Alright,” Ness replied. “The good news is I haven’t been able to eat the same amount of food as anyone else. And it’s so uncomfortable I’m not falling asleep too easy.”

Lita yawned. “You holding up alright Seraphina?”

“Yeah,” Seraphina replied, “I have insomnia, so I don’t fall asleep so easily.”

"You lucky ducks," Lita teased, rubbing her eyes.

“Hey Lita, can we talk in private for a minute?”

The girls turned to see Ignacio standing over them.

“Fine,” Lita replied as she followed Ignacio to the corner.

“I just wanted to apologize,” Ignacio said, “for what I said the other day to you. It was out of line.”

Lita smiled. “Thank you. I want to apologize too; I shouldn’t have blown up on you.”

“You were in your right to,” Ignacio said. “To assume that you were only interested in my looks…I was being a Neanderthal.”

“Well I’ve now seen how Frannie and Diamonique stick to you,” Lita replied. “So I understand how you’d get that way. Besides, I’ve dated a couple of models before and I kind of assumed you were stuck up like them.”

“I can understand that,” Ignacio replied. “I’ve met a lot of stuck up models. The truth is, I don’t even want to be a model! I’m just doing to help support my family.”

Lita put her hand on Ignacio’s shoulder. “You’re a very sweet guy. I appreciate you coming to apologize to me. Friends?”

Ignacio smiled and nodded. “Friends.”


At the Eagles side, Frannie yawned and scowled at the sleeping Ziba on her shoulder.

"I don’t have enough life left in me Fran,” Diamonique stated with bags under her eyes. “I’m going out for the count.”

“No!” Frannie yelled. “Come on lets dance or, or we could stand on our heads again!”

“Wouldn’t want you to look at my scars anymore,” Diamonique replied.

Frannie sniffled. “I said I was sorry.”

“No I’m sorry,” Diamonique replied, “I just... I got some scars on my body Frannie, worse than those. A lot.”

“Oh Diamonique,” Frannie sighed.

“It’s alright,” Diamonique replied. “I don't need any pity. I’m just a little sensitive and the truth is…that I do have some brain damage.”

Frannie hugged Diamonique.

“I got them when I was young,” Diamonique answered. “When people see them or find out…they just have another reason to look down on me. I’m just tired of. So tired…”

“There’s nobody here I think higher of than you Diamonique,” Frannie said.

Frannie turned to see Diamonqiue already asleep. Frannie placed Ziba on her beret stood up and frowned.

“Hey Frannie,” Kalino called, “come here.”

Frannie walked over. “What’s up?”

“My partner’s asleep,” Kalino explained, pointing to a snoring Vance. “Your partner’s asleep. I could use a laugh. You want to try and help keep each other awake?”

Frannie smiled and sat down. “Sure. So, what do you call a person who talks in someone else’s sleep?”

“A teacher,” Kalino replied.

Frannie laughed.


Soon a whole hour had passed.

Griswold turned to see Lita had fallen asleep and was shivering. He took off his varsity jacket and spread on top of her like a blanket. Riley watched and smiled to herself.

Over at the Eagles, Cynthia, Aiden, Melissa, Hayden, Frannie, Kalino and Xidorn were still awake. The male Eagles had just returned from the restroom.

“Alright lady Eagles may head to the bathroom,” Rhonda announced.

“I’ll be right back,” Melissa said as she left.

“Gee whiz,” Aiden sighed, “Melissa sure is amazing.”

Rhonda gulped and nodded. “Yeah, I’m glad we had her as a last minute addition. It's awesome that we could have the first Muslim contestant in the show’s history. Don't you think Aiden?”

“Wait…what?” Aiden asked.

Rhonda nodded. “We also have the show’s first open LGBTQ contestant as well.”

“Who is that?” Aiden asked.

“Well I’m pan,” Xidorn said.

“You’re attracted to pans?” Aiden asked.

It means I’m attracted to people of all genders,” Xidorn replied. “And I’m transgender.”

“You are?” Rhonda asked. “Since when?”

Xidorn stared.

“I just mean it wasn’t on your application,” Rhonda said.

“Because your only gender options were male and female,” Xidorn replied. “Besides transgender isn’t my gender; I identify as male. You weren’t ever aware of this?”

“I was talking about Hayden being gay,” Rhonda explained.

“You’re gay?” Aiden asked.

“Yeah,” Hayden said, “is that a problem?”

“But we share a room,” Aiden replied.

“Please stop,” Hayden replied, glaring.

“Jenny and Toby how come the medical examiners didn’t inform us Xidorn was transgender?” Rhonda asked.

“We had to cut expenses,” Jenny explained. “So the medical exams got reduced budgets.”

How reduced?” Rhonda asked.


The scene changed to Xidorn sitting in a doctor’s office. Jenny and Toby stormed in.

“Aren’t you two a little young to be doctors?” Xidorn asked.

“Not according to the degrees we printed offline,” Jenny replied. “Now are you healthy?”

“Yes,” Xidorn replied.

“Whelp, good enough for me,” Jenny said as she left.


The scene returned to Rhonda glaring at her cohorts.

“Did I miss anything?” Melissa asked as she walked back in.

“Melissa is it true?” Aiden asked. “Is it true your Muslim?”

“Yes,” Melissa replied. “Why?”

“How can you be Muslim?” Aiden asked.

Melissa frowned. “Excuse me?”

“I just mean,” Aiden started to say, “you're just…”

“What?” Melissa asked.

“You’re so American,” Aiden replied.

“My family has been legal and loyal American citizens for three generations,” Melissa stated. “But I guess because I believe in Islam I can’t be American then, huh?”

“I didn’t say that,” Aiden replied. “But I mean…well…”

Melissa started to cry. “I know what you mean, you…you…”

Melisssa ran away in tears. Cynthia followed after her.

Everyone turned to stare at Aiden who sat away in the corner, covering his face with his cap. Soon things died back down.

Frannie and Kalino continued to talk.

“-So I put lobsters down her pants,” Kalino finished as Frannie laughed.

“I guess you could say she was crabby,” Frannie joked. “Wait…dang it that joke doesn’t work.”

“It was still hilarious,” Kalino said. “Man I wish I could have a latte now, even one of those pumpkin spice ones."

Frannie giggled.

Kalino smirked. "You know Frannie, I like how chill you are.”

“Right back at you,” Frannie replied. “I wish I could always be that calm.”

“You’re not?” Kalino asked.

“I just have a lot on my mind,” Frannie said. “I’m on this show so I can win the money and keep my circus open. The circus is like my family.”

“That’s so righteous,” Kalino said, “I just joined to tick off my sister.”

“How bad is your sister?” Frannie asked.

“She’s so stiff and wooden if you threw her into the ocean she’d float,” Kalino replied. “She brings homework with her to the beach, instead of trying to surf.”

“Let me guess,” Frannie said. “You’re from-“

“-Yeah Nebraska,” Kalino replied. “I know, it’s the accent.”

Frannie snickered. “You’re real cool Kalino. Hey, you should join me and Diamonique’s alliance!”

“That sounds soooooo sweet man,” Kalino replied.

“Yeah Diamonique came up with it,” Frannie replied. “She’s a master strategist.”

“I’d love to hook my chain with you guys,” Kalino said. “So…who do you think you’ll vote off...”


Two hours later and most everyone was still asleep. Tessa, Ness and Seraphina stayed awake for the Fireworks while Kalino and Frannie were awake for the Eagles.

“Congrats to the five of you who are left standing,” Rhonda said.

Tessa and Frannie immediately collapsed into sleep.

“Or three,” Rhonda said. “However, only one of you can win. Who will it be?”

Seraphina and Ness slapped each others face to try and stay awake while Kalino sat there twiddling his thumbs.

Ten minutes later, Seraphina tipped over and closed her eyes.

“And we’re down to one member from each team,” Rhonda announced. “Who knows who will win this final, ultimate battle to-“

Kalino snored loudly.

“-And it looks like Ness wins it for the Fireworks!” Rhonda cheered.

“Hooray,” Ness sighed before falling to the ground.

“Someone wake the Eagles up and tell them they’ll be voting someone off in twenty,” Rhonda announced.

Kalino sprung up instantly and shrugged.


Later the Molting Eagles sat at the Internet Café, all with bags under their eyes.

“Look on the bright side,” Rhonda said. “At least you get to vote tonight.”

“Yay,” Xidorn ‘cheered’.


Diamonique cast her vote for Aiden. “Since Frannie and I rode with Cynthia and Melissa in the taxi at the first challenge, we’ve all been tight. We have the numbers, now we just needed to wait until somebody screwed up and painted a big target on their back. Sorry Aiden, that was you.”


Vance cast his vote. “A good point was made to me today, which was that you could be a future liability in challenges. I want to win challenges. Sorry partner, but the buck stops here.”

Vance tried to spit but his saliva hung from his lips.


"The votes have been cast,” Rhonda said. “I have nine pumpkin spice coffee lattes. The one of you who doesn’t receive a coffee will be eliminated tonight and never comeback. EVER. Unlike last time, the first coffee cups are for Cynthia and Hayden.”

The two caught their coffees.

“Melissa…Frannie…Xidorn…”

The three caught their lattes and tried drinking them to stay awake.

“Vance…Weston…”

Weston grabbed his cup but accidentally dropped it.

“And the next coffee cup goes to…Aiden.”

Kalino and Diamonique eyes grew wide as did Aiden’s, who barely caught his cup.

“The last coffee goes to…”





















“…Kalino. You’re done Diamonique.”

Diamonique stood up and turned to meet the eyes of her teammates.

“Whatever, I’m too fabulous for this anyway!” Diamonique announced and stormed off.

She stopped and turned back to look at Frannie. “Thanks girl, for believing in me.”


Kalino sipped his latte. “Sucks about Diamonique mannnnnn… Aiden’s foot in the mouth syndrome and muscles make him useful for now. I’d rather keep him than a master strategist. That’s why I convinced the others that Diamonique would likely be a challenge liability. Sorry D, there’s only room for one alliance on the Eagles. Oh and don’t worry, I’ll take good care of Frannie..."

Kalino took another sip of his latte. “Mmmmmmmm man they weren’t kidding about that pumpkin spice stuff.”


Chapter 5 Sweat, Sweat Revenge[]

The next night most of the Fizzled Fireworks celebrated their latest win in Seraphina, Lita, and Ness’ room.

“Woo!” Pascal cheered, wobbling and holding a soda. “The fireworks blast off to victory again.”

Pascal toppled over onto Ness, who no longer wore her brace.

“It’s all thanks to this superstar!” Pascal hiccuped.

Ness blushed deep red and hyperventilated. “We…we all tried our best."

"Yeah, but you won!" Pascal said.

"Thanks Pascal," she giggled, "it means a lot. Especially since you're so hot…a musician.”

“Duh,” Pascal replied as he slid to the floor.

Lita and Seraphina prepared more snacks.

“Hasn’t he only had one cherry cola?” Lita asked.

“He hasn’t even finished it,” Seraphina replied, walking off.

Griswold walked in. “Alright, mini pizza bagels are done!”

“Thanks sugar,” Lita replied. “You know, you didn’t have to help with the snacks.”

“It was my idea to throw a party,” Griswold replied.

“And we offered to host us in our room,” Lita countered.

“It just didn’t seem like the right thing to do,” Griswold stated.

“I appreciate it,” Lita replied and smiled.

“Hehehe,” Griswold snorted, before he blushed and dashed off.


“I’m awful with girls,” Griswold admitted. “No one was ever interested in me when I was a shorter…so I’ve never learned how to flirt. I’ve tried Internet searching it, but the advice has been…use cheesy one-liners, write poetry, wiggling my eyebrows, even making dolphin calls! Is that how you flirt, with dolphin calls and everyone just knows that but me?”


Seraphina walked back over. “Looks like we have another meeting in your room.”

“It’s your room too dear,” Lita replied. “I’m sorry, just say the word and we can wrap this up.”

“No I was just…making an observation,” Seraphina said. “Thanks though…”

Lita smiled. “Of course. By the way, where did you get that shawl? It's so cute.”

“Eh, I kind of have the fashion sense of a sixth grader,” Seraphina stated. “But um…thanks. It was from my great, great grandmother. I um…like your scarf.”

“Thanks girl,” Lita replied. “It was actually a gift from my last ex.”


“I’ve never really had female friends,” Seraphina admitted. “Or friends in general; I just didn’t want any. I don’t know any kind of ‘girl code’ or anything, so I’m kind of worried I’m offending Lita or Nesss. They’re actually really nice. Lita can be like a mom. Not mine, but one whose maternal."


Riley crushed a soda can against her head. “Hey Easton, where’s your other half?”

Weston?” Easton asked. “Oh…he doesn’t know about this.”

“Oh crap,” Riley replied. “I didn’t even think to tell him, I thought you would have.”

“This was just between us Fireworks,” Easton replied. “It didn’t seem right to invite him.”

“Dude, no one has a problem with it,” Riley replied.

"It’s not just that,” Easton admitted. “Weston…he’s got to fend for himself. I mean, how would it look to his team if all he does is tag along with the other team? He’d be voted out.”

Riley nodded. "That's true."

“Hey man,” Griswold said, “I’m sensing…some other issues here. Do you want to talk about it?”

Easton blushed. “It’s not a really big thing…”

“This is a judgment free zone,” Griswold stated.

“I love my bro,” Easton stated. “I just...I need some time apart from him. Only a little. I joined this show because I wanted to see more outside of my hometown. I want new experiences…but when Weston heard he had to join me.”

Easton sighed. “Weston is just…dependent. And he can be...thick-headed. He doesn’t think things through. It becomes my responsibility to take care of him. I don’t really mind…but it feels like my parents treat him more special than me because he’s always getting into jams.”

Lita nodded.

“Its hard to put into words,” Easton went on. “It’s like I have to make sacrifices for him and well…”

“He gets more love than you,” Lita finished.

“Yeah,” Easton said.

He was silent for a moment. “Am I a horrible person for feeling that way?”

“I don’t know,” Lita replied. “I understand though…my little brother…well it’s not important. But I understand you.”

“I have little sisters,” Griswold stated. “It’s not the same thing as twin, but I think everyone feels that way around their siblings sometimes.”

Easton nodded. “I don’t know…I still love Weston. Yet when you’re a twin everyone acts like you’re just clones. Weston and me are similar, but we're different. I want a separate identity. Truth is, I’ve already been offered a scholarship for my math major.”

“That’s superb,” Ignacio stated. “You must be quite adroit.”

Easton blushed. “Yeah, thanks. I haven’t told Weston yet; going means we’ll be apart and he doesn’t really have plans for the future. I’m worried he won’t be able to hold his own.”

I had no idea,” Riley stated.

“Please don’t tell him what I said,” Easton asked.

“My lips are sealed,” Riley replied as the others nodded.

“For what its worth I think you’re right about some time apart,” Griswold said.

Griswold held out his hand. Easton forced a smile and they high-fived.


Easton was hyper-ventilating. "I've never felt comfortable telling anyone that. My teammates are just so accepting of me. I feel so bad saying that stuff...but so relieved. I might pass-out."


The next morning, Kalino strolled through the cafeteria. He was reading a newspaper.

"Horoscopes," Kalino stated. "You will have great accomplishments today."

Kalino looked up to see Frannie, who had made a frowning face out of her eggs and bacon.

“Fran the Wooman,” Kalino stated. “How you holding up?”

Frannie sobbed and face planted into her breakfast.

“I’ll take that as bad,” Kalino said.

Frannie lifted her head. “I’m just so upset that Diamonique is gone. I can’t even think of a joke.”

“Here’s a joke,” Kalino said. “What does a clown tell during breakfast times?”

“What?” Frannie asked.

“Yolks,” Kalino joked, as he rubbed some eggs off Frannie’s face.

“Thanks for trying,” Frannie stated. “I just don’t understand why Diamonique went home.”

“Yeahhhh,” Kalino stated. “It’s a real mystery. I don’t understand…but I’ve been talking to the others and I don’t think they’ll vote you off.”

“Really?” Frannie asked. “I hope so. At least I know I can trust you Kalino.”

Kalino shrugged. “I’m just a trustworthy guy mannnnnnnn.”


Later, Aiden dragged his feel slowly to his room. Hayden frowned as he entered.

“Hey,” Aiden whispered.

“So, are we going to talk?” Hayden asked. “Or are you going to keep avoiding me? I know you’ve been sleeping in other hotel rooms instead of here.”

Aiden looked down. “You didn’t ever check me out did you?”

“You don’t check out every girl do you?” Hayden asked.

Aiden blushed. "No."

“I have a boyfriend,” Hayden added. “I’m just...uggh! I'm so ticked off right now.”

“I’m sorry,” Aiden replied. “I don’t a lot about gay people. I really haven't been around any-”

“-It’s not that you’re uncomfortable,” Hayden interrupted. “I try to follow Carl Rogers' belief of unconditional positive regard; respecting and accepting others as who they are. I'm happy to answer questions and be honest.”

Aiden sat down next to him. "I don't think you hate different people Aiden. You're not someone who hates.

“Then…what?” Aiden asked.

“The way you acted,” Hayden shot back. “We were pals until you find out I’m gay. Now I’m suddenly a different person?”

“You never mentioned it,” Aiden replied.

“What, am I just suppose to state my sexuality to everyone I meet?” Hayden asked. “I’ve never hid it, but I don’t make a big deal about it. It shouldn’t be a big deal."

Aiden hugged Hayden. Hayden sighed, but hugged his roommate.

“I’m sorry," Aiden said."I should have considered how you feel. Can we, can we still be buds?”

Hayden chuckled and gave Aiden a noogie. “Yeah, we’re still buds. But I’m not the only one you need to say sorry to. I’m worried about Melissa.”

Aiden nodded. “I know. I am too. I want to talk to her...but I don’t know what to say yet.”

“I’ll help you if you need it,” Hayden replied.

“Thanks,” Aiden said. “I might…but I also want it to come from me.”

Hayden slapped him on the back and the two shared a smile.


"I've tried talking to Melissa since the Awake-a-thon," Aiden admitted. "When I saw her run away crying...how could do that to her? She's the most swell gal I've ever met."


Weston walked through the lobby, where a TV on a cart was placed.

“Weston…”

Weston froze and turned to the TV, which showed Easton talking in front of his team.

“Weston is just…dependent… he's thick-headed,” Easton ‘said’. “He doesn’t think things through...it becomes my responsibility to take care of him. ...He's always getting into jams. Truth is, I’ve already been offered a scholarship for my math major… going means we’ll be apart and he doesn’t really have plans for the future.”

Weston stared at the TV, which turned to static.

Rhonda awkwardly ran up to the TV. “Oh no, how did this TV I didn’t leave in this exact place get here? I hope it didn’t not on purpose accidentally show certain footage that was totally not edited together. Weston, did you see anything?”

Weston looked down, before running off in tears.

Rhonda grimaced but wheeled the TV away. She returned to the monitoring room where Jenny and Toby sat.

“Guys, I feel a little guilty,” Rhonda said. “I think we may have hurt Weston’s feelings. How were the ratings for last episode?”

“Alright,” Toby said on his smart phone. “A lot of people have been watching it online and talking about it.”

Rhonda smiled. “Yay!”

“Mostly about Aiden,” Toby added.

Rhonda frowned. “At least the plan worked.”

“The plan didn’t work!” Jenny shouted. “It actually hurt Hayden’s feelings, and I like him more than most of the people here. Present company included.”

“It was your idea,” Rhonda replied. “What are they saying Toby?”

“Some people really dislike Aiden now,” Toby stated. “Some agree with him. A few people have even sent death threats to his family, according to his stepmother’s social media.”

Rhonda sighed and slumped into her chair. “I…I didn’t mean for that to happen.”


The next day, the teams gathered in the lobby.

"It’s that time again,” Rhonda announced, “challenge time! To celebrate the upcoming game, we’ll be doing sport themed challenges!”

"Aw man!” Griswold cheered. “This is going to be sweet!”

“What game is coming up?” Xidorn asked.

“You know,” Rhonda said, “the…sport that people watch.”

“Another attempt at a tie-in for cheap cash,” Zipporah stated. “What a surprise."

“Anyway,” Rhonda said, “for this challenge you’ll compete in up to five different sports. We’ve taken the liberty of totally randomly selecting who does what. You’ll be in pairs of two, except for the last challenge which will have three people. ”

“We don’t have as many members as the Fireworks,” Xidorn pointed out.

“You shouldn’t have sucked so much,” Jenny teased.

“Two people will go again for your team,” Rhonda explained. “Now, we’ll need a change of scenery for the first sport…”


The contestants moved to a new hotel and entered a dome that contained an artificial beach.

"Welcome to the Paradise Beach Hotel," Rhonda announced, "One of the several hotels run and owned by our home company. I thought about hosting the show here, but the Pentagon seemed like a better fit."

"That's the first smart thing you've said," Zipporah said. "Who wrote it for you?"

"Our first challenge is for the sport of water skiing! One person will steer a speedboat through a course of buoys, while the other will water ski and collect flags. Then you'll reach a dock, switch roles and continue down the course. Whoever collects the most flags wins.

"For the Molting Eagles, Vance will drive first and Hayden will ski."

"You think you can handle it bud?" Hayden asked.

"Don't call me bud," Vance replied. "And of course I can, water skiing is just like rodeo."

"In a completely different way," Hayden added.

"On the Fizzled Fireworks," Rhonda continued, "Riley will drive and Zipporah will ski."

"We're the dream team!" Riley wooed as she tried to chest bump Zipporah but knocked her to the ground.

"More like a nightmare," Zipporah sighed. "And not the good kind."

In a few minutes, the pairs went off.

“Try not to get distracted staring at me,” Vance yelled.

“Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m attracted to every guy,” Hayden replied.

“I know that,” Vance said. “Everyone’s just attracted to me. I’m not every guy; I’m a champion.”

Vance then ran into a buoy.

“Aw yeah,” Riley cheered. “This ocean breeze is amazing. Are you feelin it Z?”

Zipporah flopped about like a dead fish. “I’m feeling it.”

Vance crashed into another buoy. “I tell you Hayden, your driving is catawampus!”

“Right, it’s my fault,” Hayden replied. “You’re just protecting your own feelings-“

“Cut out your doctor talk!” Vance shouted. “I’ve collected a few durn flags after all!”

“Only because you crashed into all of those!” Hayden shot back.

“NO HANDS!” Riley screamed as her boat drove past the Eagle’s.

“AHHHH!” Zipporah screamed.

Hayden parked into the dock and switched roles with Vance.

“You think you can steer this thing?” Hayden asked.

“You do know who you’re talking to right?” Vance asked.

Vance backed the boat into the dock, causing it to sink.

“I do,” Hayden replied.

“WOOOOOO!” Riley shouted as her boat crashed into Vance’s.

A few minutes later, the four teens washed up on the shore.

Griswold ran forward. “Are you okay Riley?”

“Wow Brono Somebrody,” Riley said. “That was an amazing wipeout!”

“I’m fine by the way,” Zipporah stated.

“Does anyone actually have any flags left?” Rhonda asked.

Vance smiled, revealing a flag caught between the gap of his missing tooth.

“I guess the Eagles win,” Rhonda stated. “Now for the next challenge, it’ll be Easton and Griswold against Melissa and Weston in a game of beach volleyball! First pair to score three points wins.”


Randomly selected,” Easton said, “yeah right!"


In a few seconds, the pairs were in front of the net.

“Hey good luck bro,” Easton said.

Weston glared. “I guess you’ll have to take care of me in this too, huh?”

“What?” Easton asked.

Melissa sighed and looked over at Aiden who stared at her.


“I admit that what Aiden said really hurt my feelings,” Melissa stated. “Maybe I’m just being selfish, but that is my religion. I’m trying to not let it get me down. I need to stay positive for my team; when I’m doing a challenge I need to have a tummy full of sunshine tickles…but instead my stomach is churning in crying clouds.”


Toby blew a whistle; Griswold served the ball and it swung over the net.

Weston ran forward and bounced the ball. Easton ran up and knocked it back over. Weston tried to hit it, but it landed on the sand.

“Give me some bro!” Griswold stated as he and Easton fist pumped.

Weston threw the volleyball at Easton’s head.

“Your serve,” Weston stated.

Easton handed the ball to Griswold, who served it. It smacked Weston in the face and bounced back over the fence.

“Weston sure can take a lot of pain,” Hayden stated.

Cynthia nodded.

Easton shot it over the net, but Melissa bounced it back. Griswold hit it back strong and scored point.

Great job Griswold!” Lita cheered.

“That’s what I’m talking about Griz Bear!” Riley shouted.

Griswold giggled and blushed. He didn’t even notice Weston throw the volleyball at him, which landed in Griswold’s pompadour.

The younger twin sighed. He took off his shirt, revealing noticeable scars on his body.


“I’ve got a couple of scars here and there,” Weston admitted. “They're from climbing trees, jumping off cliffs, playing in briar patches. Stuff like that. Maybe Easton’s right, maybe I do just do crazy things without thinking.”


Griswold served it, Melissa hit it, Easton hit it, then Weston jumped and slammed back over and scored a point.

Melissa and Weston high-fived, then Weston blew a raspberry at his brother.

“Do you have a problem?” Easton asked.

“I’m not the one with the problem,” Weston replied.

“What?” Easton asked. “Man, you’re acting really dumb!”

“Isn’t that how I always act?” Weston said.

“Are you keeping something from me?” Easton asked.

“Like you are?” Weston replied. “I heard; about the scholarship.”

Easton’s eyes grew wide. “Weston, I-“

“-Didn’t think I should know,” Weston interrupted. “I heard it, I heard everything else you said about me. If you don’t really want to have a brother then fine; you’re no longer my brother.”

Weston jumped up spiked the ball, but Easton shot it back over and scored a point.

“The Fireworks score a victory!” Rhonda announced.

Nobody cheered, as the twins glared at each other.


The scene changed to inside an ice rink.

“Our next challenge will be the Canadian sport of choice,” Rhonda stated. “Hockey! One member will serve as a goalie while the other will have to hit the puck in the goal! First team to score two points wins! For the Eagles, Frannie and Xidorn; Xidorn will be goalie. For the Fireworks, Tessa will try to score while the goalie will be…um…uh…”

Rhonda pulled out a piece of paper. “Jasper?”

Some guy sighed and stepped forward.

“I thought his name was Jeffrey,” Griswold whispered.

“I thought our other teammate was Julie,” Seraphina admitted.

“Wait, is he on our team?” Pascal asked. “Did he just debut?”

The four got in their positions on the rink.

Tessa skated out and performed a perfect figure eight.

Aiden cowered nervously from the sidelines.


“My best friend is an ice skater at the Olympics,” Tessa stated. “She’s my only friend; everyone else is quick to judge me or look down on me. I’m thinking I might try to do ice skating in the future."


“Begin!” Rhonda announced.

“Go Frannie!” Kalino cheered as he ate a banana.

“For Diamonique!” Frannie screamed as she swung.

The puck moved a millimeter. Tessa then twirled through, stole the puck and made a winning goal.

“****!” Frannie cursed.

Tessa started to slide the puck. Frannie sped forward, but Tessa danced around her.

Puck this,” Frannie shouted, as she back flipped in front of Tessa and stole the puck. She skated to the goal and slammed it in, but Jackson Jasper blocked it.

“Guess you could say I’m on thin ice,” Frannie joked.

“The ice isn’t that thin,” Juan Jasper replied. Frannie pouted.

Tessa started to skate back over. Frannie slammed the puck and made a goal.

“That was for the Canadians!” Frannie cheered.

Frannie returned to her side. She swiped the puck and headed for the Firework's goal.

Tessa skated at her. Kalino yawned as he threw a banana peel on the ice, which caused Tessa to slip and fall. Frannie slammed the puck and made another goal.

“And with that the Eagles have reclaimed the lead!” Rhonda announced.

Tessa growled and snapped her hockey stick.

“I guess you could say she needs to…chill,” Frannie joked.

“Haha,” Kalino laughed. “Good one mannnnn.”


“I don’t get it,” Kalino admitted.


The scene changed to what seemed like an old opera house.

“This is the Pentagram’s theatre,” Rhonda stated. “Where Ness and Ignacio will perform for the Fireworks, while the Eagles will again have Xidorn and Vance.”

“It’s like the Phantom of the Opera will come and kidnap me right now,” Zipporah sighed before frowning. “What mainstream, strength obsessed, self-esteem ruining event that your kind call entertainment are you going to have here?”

“This sport will be,” Rhonda said, “interpretive dance!”

“What?” Vance asked. “Dancing ain't no sport!”

"Wikipedia said it was,” Rhonda replied. “And interpretive dancing is dancing. So, you and your partner will have to perform an on the spot routine to our panel of judges; Jenny and Toby. They’ll pick the winners of the challenge. For questioning me, Eagles can go first.”

A spotlight shone on Vance and Xidorn as everyone else stepped away.

“Bust a move!” Rhonda yelled, as classical music plays.

Both teens blushed and tried to move about. Vance eventually settled on doing the monkey while Xidorn tried to do the sprinkler.

In the audience, the teams watched and cringed.

Aiden moved over to Melissa. Cynthia, who sat next to her, pulled out a knife.

“I just want to talk,” Aiden said. “Can we talk alone, Melissa?”

“Okay,” Melissa replied.

Melissa and Aiden snuck over to a corner. Cynthia didn’t lower her knife.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Aiden admitted.

“Thank you,” Melissa said but turned away.

“I mean it,” Aiden said, “I know my comments were out of line. I admit I do have a problem with Muslims. My dad and stepmom are soldiers. They met while stationed in the Middle East. Myy mom was in the Middle East too; she was a medic before…she was killed by terrorist attack when I was just a toddler.”

“Oh,” Melissa replied. “I had no idea Aiden…I’m so sorry.”

Aiden wiped a tear away. “No, you don’t have anything to be sorry about. That doesn’t excuse my actions. I just wanted to try and explain where maybe some of my reaction came from.”

Melissa sighed. “I understand. I know there are awful people out there who do things in the name of being a Muslim. But not a single person represents a whole; the Christians who protested those soldiers’ funerals don’t represent every Christian after all. I’m just…hurt you’d think I could be someone like that.”

I know,” Aiden said, “I didn't really, but I was confused. I have some biases, but I know they can’t all be right; you’re proof they’re wrong. I want to move past this, I want to be more aware, I want us to be friends again…and more than anything I don’t want you to feel bad. Golly, you’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met; you shouldn’t feel bad.”

Melissa hugged Aiden. “I’d love to be friends again.”

Aiden hugged her back and started to tear up. “Thank you.”

Meanwhile on stage Vance switched it up to doing the chicken dance, while Xidorn pantomimed throwing chicken feed. Vance tripped and tried to play it off, as he scooted his butt across the stage like a dog. The music cut off as Xidorn and Vance sighed in relief.

“Judges?” Rhonda asked.

“It was an interesting take on the Star Wars prequels,” Jenny replied.

“I thought their dance was about the Cuban Missile Crisis,” Toby said.

“It sounds like it’ll be hard to beat,” Rhonda stated. “Ness and Ignacio you’re up.”

Ness and Ignacio awkwardly took the stage. The music started and the two started imitating ballet as they moved across the stage. Ness twirled, only for her boot to fly off. Her shoe flew into the air, knocking into the old stage lights (which clearly weren't up to standard).

Ness gulped as she looked up. Toby coughed and Ness blushed as she started to hop on one foot and dance again. Ignacio imitated a mime, trapping himself in a box.

Griswold covered his eyes. “I can’t look.”

Suddenly, a stage light fell and conked Ness on the head.

“Err…derp,” Ness giggled as she fell about. "Hehehe."

“Oh god, Ness is on fire,” Riley stated.

“She’s doing that good?” Griswold asked.

“No, she’s literally on fire,” Easton yelled as Griswold put his hands down.

The stage light had burst into flames, and had spread to Ness’ jacket. She didn't react, stumbling and staggering while giggling.

Ignacio ran backstage and grabbed an extinguisher. He held it out but Ness stumbled against him, causing the model to accidentally shot it off.

The extinguisher bounced from wall to wall. It ricocheted into Rhonda’s forehead, knocking her out before flying into the rest of the stage lights. They fell, exploding and bursting into flames.

As it was still firing, the extinguisher knocked down a hook holding a sand bag. The sandbag fell on Ness’ foot…while the extinguisher rammed into the jinx, knocking her off stage. Ignacio tried to help Ness, distracting him from the hook. Naturally, it snared Ignacio’s pants and shirt.

As Ignacio moved forward, the hook ripped off his clothes. Ignacio blushed and froze, stark naked on the burning stage.

“Now that’s what I call hot,” Frannie joked while drooling.

“EW GROSS, NAKED PEOPLE!” Jenny screamed as she ran away. Toby meanwhile fainted.

“So, did we win or…” Pascal asked.


Later, the teams were at a roller skating rink.

“Well that wasn’t a total disaster,” Rhonda stated. “Ultimately, the judges decided to crown the Fireworks the winners.”

“Only because you ended up hurting Rhonda,” Jenny added.

“Since we conveniently tied,” Rhonda stated, “we go to the final challenge! The three competitors yet to compete, step forward!”

Lita, Seraphina and Pascal walked up for the Fizzled Fireworks. Aiden, Cynthia and Kalino come forward for the Molting Eagles.

“This challenge will be a roller derby challenge!” Rhonda announced.

“What’s roller derby?” Lita asked.

“It’s basically roller skating with punching,” Rhonda replied. “For this challenge, you have to race around the course. First skater to circle all the way around wins it for their team. You are allowed to push, punch and other such violence to stay ahead. You might have to…”

The competitors got on their gear and made their way to the starting line.

“Can you guys skate?” Pascal asked.

Seraphina tripped and face-planted. “No.” Jenny, Toby and Rhonda sat in announcer’s booth. “On your mark, get set, get ready…go!”

The group skated off; Aiden struggled while Kalino slowly inched along.

“Now let’s add some obstacles,” Rhonda giggled as she pressed a button.

The gates opened and large roller skating thugs charged out at the contestants.

“Eep!” Aiden squealed as he ran backwards as the thugs chased him.

"Eep!” the thugs exclaimed running the other way.

Cynthia skated after them.

A thug sneaked behind Lita…and got a punch to the face.

“Wee!” Pascal exclaimed as he lead some thugs in twirling around.

“Wee,” Seraphina stated as some thugs tossed her around.

“Leave her alone punks!” Lita yelled as she grabbed Seraphina. A thug tried to grab her, only to get an uppercut to the chin.

“I like this sport,” Lita admitted as she noticed the blood on her knuckles.

“You’re tough Lita,” Seraphina said.

“Trust me, you have to be in my neighborhood,” Lita said as she put Seraphina down. “Hey, where are you creeps going? I’m not done making you cry!”

“This is getting intense,” Rhonda said. “And it's the climax of the challenge…quick, play the edgiest music we have the rights to!”

Toby nodded and played a track.

Hanson_-_Mmmbop_(Lyrics)

Hanson - Mmmbop (Lyrics)

"This is the edgiest song we could afford..."

Mmmbop, ba dubi dop, ba do bop…

“I said edgy!” Rhonda stated.

“This is the edgiest song we could afford,” Toby replied.

Rhonda slumped to the floor, got in the fetal position and began to cry to herself.

The thugs skated back into the gates and slammed them shut. Cynthia had the lead, with Pascal, Lita and Seraphina together in the back.

“I have a plan to win,” Pascal stated.

“Will it work?” Seraphina asked.

“I saw it on a children’s television show,” Pascal replied. “That means it's full proof!”

Seraphina face palmed.

“We’ll form a chain,” Pascal explained. “In the middle will be the lightest skater; as we skate around the corner, that person will be flung forward and propelled by our inertia to finish line.”

“Does that even make sense?” Seraphina asked.

“It doesn’t not make sense,” Pascal replied.

“We’re out of options,” Lita stated. “Everybody chain up!”

“Well whose going to be in the middle?” Seraphina asked.

Lita and Pascal looked at Seraphina, before grabbing one of her arms.

“I had to ask,” Seraphina sighed, as Lita and Pascal threw her.

Seraphina screamed but soared past Cynthia.

“Wow,” Seraphina said, “I’m actual-“

“-Hey there.”

“Oof!”

Seraphina tripped over Kalino laying on the floor, and fell on her face. Cynthia skated past her and completed a lap.

“For once the Eagles actually win!” Rhonda announced from the booth. “We’ll see you tonight Fireworks.”


“I knew I wasn’t going to win,” Kalino admitted. “So if you can’t beat them, have them join you in losing. I waited at the finish line, took a power nap and helped win the challenge. My horoscope was on point today.”


In the Pentagram, Pascal knocked on room 666.

Tessa opened the door and glared. “What do you want?”

Hey, hey, hey!” Pascal said as he forced his way into the room. “You did awesome sauce at the challenge today and it made me think, we should form an alliance!”

“Save it,” Tessa replied. “I wouldn’t want to form an alliance with an egotistical, know it all celebrity.”

“No irony there,” Pascal said.

“Huh?” Tessa asked.

“I was just saying that’s too bad,” Pascal replied. “It's your choice though. I guess when Lita or Seraphina suggest voting you off today I won’t convince them otherwise.”

Tessa sighed. “They’d all follow them, wouldn’t they?”

“Not if I don’t change their minds,” Pascal teased.

“Fine,” Tessa groaned, “I’ll form an alliance with you…but you backstab me and you’ll regret it.”


“I was wondering,” Pascal said, “I can’t count on that whole Good Guys alliance, so who is going to be my goat now? And then I heard Tessa baaing. I mean, nobody likes her! She’d be the ideal candidate to take to the final two! All I have to do is keep her from being voted off and that can’t be hard, right? ...Right?”


“I don’t trust Pascal,” Tessa said. “He’s just another popular creep who thinks he can use me to help him get ahead. Which is why the first chance I get, I’ll send him home.”


“Alright then,” Tessa said, “who are you going to vote off?”

Pascal smirked. “Well…”


Later, in another room...

“Justin?” Griswold asked. “Whose that?”

“I think he means Jojo,” Riley said. “You know he has brown hair and…brown hair.”

“Why would we send home Jamal instead of Tessa?” Seraphina asked.

“Well Tessa is more useful in challenges than Johnny,” Pascal answered. “I mean, Tessa won her trial and the first challenge, stayed awake long in the sleeping challenge and was a great skater this time. At the moment, its in the team’s best interests to keep a power player than a nobody.”

“Tessa isn’t really into having a team,” Seraphina stated.

“Do you remember Jeremy being a big part of the team?” Pascal asked.

“Pascal does bring up a good point,” Easton admitted.

“Tessa has been nothing but horrible to all of us,” Lita reminded.

“Maybe if we give her time she’ll change,” Pascal said.

“She’s had plenty of time,” Seraphina replied.

“I don’t want to keep Tessa,” Griswold admitted. “But she is useful in challenges and I’d like to win more…if she promises to be a better team player.”

“I think I can get her to promise that,” Pascal replied.

“He did stuff in challenges,” Lita defended. “I think..”

“Let’s take some time and think about this,” Griswold said. “Pascal, you can talk to Tessa. We’ll meet up again and make a final decision.”


Soon after, Seraphina, Lita and Ness chilled in the hall.

“I’ve already made up mind,” Lita stated. “I’m voting for Tessa.”

“Look,” Seraphina stated, “I don’t want to…but I think we need to agree with the others in who to vote off, even if it isn’t Tessa.”

"What?” Lita asked. “I thought you disliked her more than I do?”

“Oh, I despise her,” Seraphina said. “She should be going home. But if we go against the entire team at our first elimination ceremony, it’ll cause a divide.”

“That would mean voting off…um Jasper?” Lita asked. “He doesn’t deserve that.”

“I’m not saying he does,” Seraphina said. “But we’re close as a team now, if we go against it we’ll get in trouble. It’s him, or us.”

“I have to agree with Seraphina,” Ness admitted. “If Tessa doesn’t improve, we can vote her off next.”

Lita sighed. “Fine.”


However...

Lita knocked on a door.

Jimmy Jasper answered the door. “Oh I’m sorry, Ignacio isn’t in.”

“I’m not here to speak to him,” Lita said. “It’s Jasper, right?”

“Yes,” Jasper replied. “Yes, it is.”

“I just wanted to tell you…” Lita said.


That night, the Fizzled Fireworks were in the Internet café.

“This is technically not your first elimination ceremony Fireworks,” Rhonda said. “You all have voted once already, so before we begin does anyone have anything they’d like to say?”

Julio Jasper stood up. “Look, I’ve heard rumors that I’m going home. I just wanted to say to all of you that I-“

“Really? No one has anything to say?” Rhonda asked. “Then, let’s get to the vote!”

Jasper sighed.

The votes were cast. Toby handed Rhonda tray of coffee cups.

“I have ten coffee cups,” Rhonda said. “The one of you who doesn’t receive a coffee will be eliminated tonight and never comeback. EVER. The first coffee cup goes to…Ness.”

Ness tried to catch her coffee, but accidentally dropped it on the floor.

“Ignacio…Pascal…Seraphina…”

The three caught their cups.

“Easton…Riley…Griswold…”

The three bros raised their cups at being safe.

“Lita…and Zipporah.”

Zipporah swatted her coffee away.

“And the last coffee cup goes to…”

"-Oh cut the crap,” Tessa stated. “We all know how this is going to end.”

“Spoil the fun,” Rhonda whined, tossing Tessa her cup. “Sorry…uh…Jocast …but you’re going home.”

Jasper nodded and exited through the Revolving Doors of Shame.


The Fizzled Fireworks petered out quickly, leaving Jenny, Toby and Rhonda alone in the café.

“You know I feel bad for that guy,” Rhonda stated.

“What for?” Jenny asked.

“I guess because we never really gave him a chance. We never gave him any focus, even though he is on the show.”

“So?” Jenny replied.

“Why cast someone if you don’t plan on using them?” Rhonda asked. “It just seems unfair and maybe even...a bit pointless honestly."

“Somebody has to be the early out,” Jenny replied. “Might as well make them unimportant. Maybe someday someone will notice him.”


Lita sat in the voting booth with her legs crossed. “Everyone else is going to vote Jasper. Tessa did come down and promise to be nicer…she didn’t apologize of course. She barely talked to us. She’s not the one who deserves a second chance; Jasper does. So I’m voting Tessa. My team won’t be the wiser about it, so no biggie. It just doesn’t feel right voting off that poor boy.”


Chapter 6 Invade You Look[]

A black space; nothing, blank, void.

Then an echo; an echo of color rang out. The echo shimmered and waved, metamorphosing into an evolving rainbow of colors, each pertained their own sound. The echoes melted, merged into a cohesive melody that was not music. Through the color waves and sound hues, loud whispers trickled…

“Nothing but a dirty rat, waiting to trap you…”

“He plots…”

“The treasure lies below…beware of the treasure hunters…”

“He will be met…”

And then, the most familiar and yet foreign voice; “Don’t close your heart. Don’t live your life alone. Don’t, or you’ll become like me. Seraphina… Seraphina, don’t die like I died! Seraphina…”

Seraphina's eyes shot open. She gasped for air, having lost her breath. Seraphina sat in the floor of the lobby, meditating. Looking down, Seraphina saw her deck of tarot cards and slowly reached her hand forward and flipped over the top card.

The card depicted a human man and woman chained to an altar where a winged, goat-legged man sat.

“XV,” Seraphina whispered. “The Devil.”

“More mumbo jumbo?” Tessa asked as she exited the stairs.

Seraphina sighed. “Please not now.”

“What a surprise, you're practicing another scheme to steal someone’s money,” Tessa stated. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“Don’t you have anything better to do than make everyone miserable?”

Seraphina and Tessa turned to see Xidorn reaching the bottom of the steps.

“Oh wait I know you don’t,” Xidorn said. “Now shoo fly, shoo.”

Tessa sighed and walked off as Xidorn sat beside Seraphina.

“Thanks,” Seraphina said.

“No problem,” Xidorn replied. “Don’t let what Tessa affect you, she’s full of it.”

“Amen,” Seraphina replied. “Hey Xidorn…what do you believe in?”

“Um, well lots of things,” Xidorn replied. “I believe in equal rights, the power of art, unicorns-“

“-You believe in unicorns?” Seraphina asked.

"Of course!” Xidorn replied.

“But you’ve never seen a unicorn,” Seraphina stated. “People fake them all the time.”

“So?” Xidorn said. “People fake all sorts of things; evidence a certain unicorn is fake is not evidence against the existence of all unicorns. Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I believe everyone has a purpose for existing. I can’t really see that…but I know it.”

“I guess that’s what having faith is, huh?” Seraphina asked. “Didn’t mean to go philosophical there. I should clean up my tarot cards.”

“I’ll help,” Xidorn said. He grabbed her box, but a locket fell out.

“Sorry,” Xidorn apologized, snatching it before it fell. Inside he saw a black and white picture of Seraphina, except she had a few freckles on her face and wore older clothes.

“Careful,” Seraphina replied. “This box was my great, great grandmother’s.”

“Why does she have a photo of you in it?” Xidorn asked.

"It’s not me,” Seraphina replied. “That’s her sister, when they were teenagers in Germany during the 1930s.”

“She looks just like you,” Xidorn stated.

“That’s what my family always says,” Seraphina replied.

“Wait, 1930s Germany?” Xidorn realized. “You mean like…during World War Two?”

“That’s why they immigrated to America…except for her,” Seraphina pointed to the locket.

“Why wouldn’t she leave?” Xidorn asked.

“My family says she was a black sheep,” Seraphina explained. “She isolated her, didn’t talk to anyone and didn’t keep up with the news. She refused to move somewhere new and...well, my family is Jewish…”

“Wow,” Xidorn said. “Not the way to start the morning, huh?”

“Yeah. I don't suppose you have any good news?”

Xidorn smirked. “Well, this weekend a big budget remake of The Invaders is coming out.”

“The cult classic movie with the alien animatronics?” Seraphina asked.

“That’s the one!” Xidorn replied. “I was thinking we both like monster movies, so...you want to see it tonight?”

"I can't. I promised my roommates we'd hang out."

Xidorn nodded. "Maybe another time?"

"Maybe."

She grabbed the old box and started to leave.

“Seraphina…”

“Hmm?”

“I believe in psychics too,” Xidorn stated. “Don’t give up on it just because of what Tessa says.”

Seraphina blushed as Xidorn waved and left.


In the dining hall, Easton and Weston sat tables apart, glaring at each other.

Griswold strolled in in. “Hey dude. You ready for some breakfast brorritos?”

“Totally,” Easton said. “I can't wait to enjoy them...with my bro.”

“Oh yeah?” Weston said. “Well... I have a totally cool new bro from my team.”

“Who?” Easton asked.

“Um it’s…uh…” Weston mumbled as he eyed someone entering. “It’s Cynthia!”

Cynthia walked into the cafeteria carrying a dead cat.

“Cynthia?” Easton asked.

“Cynthia?” Griswold asked.

“Cynthia?” Weston asked. “I mean, yeah Cynthia! We’re going to go see that new horror movie later, right Cynthia?”

Cynthia stared. “Sure…”

Weston put his arm around Cynthia. “See you around...Griswold."

As they left, Weston whispered, thank you, sorry, please don’t murder me...

Griswold turned to Easton. “So I take it you and your bro haven’t talked?”

“If he wants to be childish and ignore me he can go ahead,” Easton replied.

“Even if it means he’s hanging out with a likely serial killer?” Griswold asked.

Easton sighed. “He won’t talk to me. I can’t figure out who told him.”

“I can’t believe someone from our team said something, “ Griswold admitted.

“Me either,” Easton replied. “But when I find out who, they’re going to be sorry.”


That afternoon, Lita, Ness and Seraphina stood in the lobby as a storm raged outside. Seraphina froze for a second as her eyeballs rolled into the back of her head.

“Eee!” Ness squealed. “I’m so excited we’re going to that huge mall!”

“Right?” Lita asked. “I’ve been thinking we should have a girl’s day out!”

Seraphina’s eyes rolled forward. She was shaking. “Yeah…sounds fun.”


“I’ve never really had a girl’s day,” Ness admitted. “Most of the girls in my grade don't like me. They place kick me signs on my back…well all the kids all my school do that…and my teachers…”


“Let’s hit it girls!” Lita cheered.

“Wait,” Seraphina said. “It’s pretty bad out…maybe we should wait until it clears up.”

“Is everything okay Seraphina?” Ness asked.

“Yeah it’s fine,” Seraphina said. “I’m feeling a little under the weather…”

Lita placed her hand on Seraphina’s forehead. “Do you need to see a doctor? Let me go get Rhonda. No, just to be safe we’ll take you to a doctor right now. Hold on honey, we will get you better!”

“It's not that bad,” Seraphina said. “I just…”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to hang out with us,” Ness said. “You don’t have to because we’re roommates.”

“Oh,” Lita replied. “Yeah, you don’t have to feel obligated.”

“My god no,” Seraphina replied. “I didn’t mean that. I like you guys, I didn’t know people were as nice as you are. I…I had a vision of some kind and I don’t feel like you two should go out there.”

“Oooh,” Ness replied. “Why didn’t you just say so? In that case we won’t go.”

“You mean it?” Seraphina asked.

“Of course,” Ness said. “I mean you are a psychic.”

"I’ll be honest,” Lita said. “I don’t know if I believe in psychic powers, but I trust you. If you got a feeling then I believe you.”

“Thanks,” Seraphina replied.

Suddenly a crack of thunder boomed. The next moment, a gargoyle statue smashed onto the bus stop.

Lita gulped. “If we were there we’d be-“

Another strike of lightning hit the fallen statue and blew it to bits.

“-Real dead,” Ness said.

Lita exhaled. “Thanks girl. Next time don’t be afraid to tell us.”

“Yeah,” Ness said. “We can have a girl’s day another time.”

“We could have one in our room’s today,” Seraphina suggested.

“Yes!” Lita and Ness shouted in unison.


Hayden walked in the kitchen to see Melissa and Aiden baking.

“What are you kiddies up to?” Hayden asked.

“Aiden’s being a dear and helping me bake cupcakes to sell for a new charity,” Melissa explained.

“New charity?” Hayden asked.

Melissa nodded. “I’m raising money to support a charity that makes shoes for dog’s feet.”

“Really?” Hayden asked.

Melissa sniffled. “Yes; just the thought of a poor puppy going on that long awaited walk only to hurt its little paws on a heated sidewalk…ooh…”

Aiden put his hand on Melissa’s shoulder. “Golly Melissa, it’s alright. The puppies will be fine.”

Melissa breathed. “You’re right…sorry, it’s just puppies and sadness should never mix.”

Ding!

“Those must be the mango cupcakes,” Melissa stated. “Be right back.”

“So,” Hayden whispered, “You and Melissa are okay?”

“Right as rain again,” Aiden replied. “I’m having her teach me a few things about her religion, you know trying to get know more about her. Thanks for being there for me Hayden.”

“Of course,” Hayden replied.

“Frannnnnn something smells good.”

Hayden gasped. "Oh no."

Kalino and Frannie walked in wearing ‘disguises’; Frannie wore a monocle and fake mustache while Kalino wore only a powdered wig.”

Melissa walked back with cupcakes. “Oh hey Kalino and Frannie! Why are-“

“-Don’t encourage them,” Hayden stated.

“Anyway,” Aiden said. “I was wondering something Hayden? If its not too personal, what’s your boyfriend like?”

“I’m flattered you’d care to know,” Hayden admitted. “Here, I’ll show you a picture.”

Hayden turned on his phone; his screensaver was Hayden snuggling a man wearing a sweater with a maple leaf.

Kalino rubbed his chin. “Looks like Hayden likes his men like he likes his bacon; Canadian.”

“Zac is a foreign exchange student from Canada,” Hayden replied.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Aiden said. “Just cause we’re Americans doesn’t mean we have to hate Canadians.”

“Especially since this whole show is based on a Canadian cartoon anyway,” Frannie stated.

“Right…” Hayden replied.


The three Fireworks roommates were in their pajamas, braiding each other’s hair in their room.

“Alright I have to ask,” Lita stated, “Out of everyone here…anyone you think you’d date?”

Ness blushed. “Well…maybe.”

“Eh,” Seraphina replied. “Not really; I’m not that interested in dating.”

“Really?” Lita asked. “Why not?”

“It just seems kind of overrated I guess,” Seraphina admitted. “I’ve never dated anyone honestly.”

“I haven’t really dated anyone either,” Ness confessed.

“What do you mean by really?” Seraphina asked.

“It’s complicated,” Ness replied.

“Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with,” Lita said. “But don’t be afraid to put yourself out there either. If you don’t try to be someone, you won’t know what you like or dislike in a person.”

“Do you know what it's like Lita?” Ness asked. “To be...in love?”

Lita sighed. “It’s wonderful. To be with someone who makes you special. To find your other half, that person who can make you complete. I mean…I say that, but I have horrible luck with dating.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way," Seraphina said, "but I figured you'd have no trouble getting a date.”

“It’s not that,” Lita said. “I’ve dated guys, but it always end the same. With me being dumped. Take my last ex; this really nice, older guy in college. We dated for a while and then on our anniversary…he stood me up.”

“What a jerk,” Seraphina stated.

“It gets better,” Lita said. “It turns out he wasn’t in college; he was a married man. Even had kids. I was just his ‘ghetto girl’ on the side…”

Ness grabbed Lita’s shoulder. “That’s horrible.”

“He’s the one who gave you your scarf, right?” Seraphina asked.

Lita nodded. “When we broke up he gave it to me. I’m over it now, it just sucks is all."

“I get bad relationships,” Ness admitted. “I had this huge crush on my best friend and next door neighbor. When I was a freshman, he was a senior. He was my only friend at high school. And then during prom, he actually asked me out!”

“I don’t like where this is going,” Lita sighed.

“No, prom turned out to be magical,” Ness stated. “I mean I did end up getting diarrhea and hit by a bus, but it was still magical. We dated for a week; it was the happiest time of my life. Then it ended. On Monday, he told me he only dated me to make me happy. He knew I always liked him, but thought of me as more of a sister.”

“I hate it when they use that line,” Lita stated. “What a load of garbage."

"I mean do you kiss your sister?" Seraphina asked.

"Right? I’m so sorry Ness.”

“I wish he wouldn’t have done it on Valentines’ Day,” Ness said. “But I understood; he told me that he had always loved someone else…my dad.”

No,” Lita and Seraphina shouted in unison.

Ness nodded. “It ended up being pretty awkward, but they have a cute relationship I guess.”

Lita sighed. “I can not believe he was so…wait did you…do you mean….”

“My dad ended up falling for him,” Ness admitted. “They got married in a really nice ceremony.”

“I’m sorry, but what the ****,” Serphina said.

“I mean my dad’s happy and my first crush is a nice stepdad to my brother,” Ness said. “It worked out…except for me but I don’t mind.”

Lita hugged Ness. “That’s sucks, plain and simple. But maybe you’ll find someone here. I’ve heard lots of people have found true love on shows like this.”

Ness blushed. “I do kind of have this crush on somebody.”

“Girl spill it!” Lita said.

“Okay, okay,” Ness giggled. “I think Pascal is dreamy. I’ve always liked his music; he’s one of my top three bands along with Blainerson McManly or One Rejection.”

“Dancers do have great abs,” Lita said.

“I don’t know,” Seraphina admitted. “Some of things he says makes me want to throw up pink vomit. But if you like him, he has to be alright."

She smirked. "He was hanging on close to you at our last party.”

Ness blushed. “What do you like in guys Seraphina?”

“I don’t know,” Seraphina admitted. “I’ve had crushes on a couples guys…and girls, but there isn’t really a pattern.”

“Ooh,” Ness said, “are you bi or pan?”

Seraphina shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m just attracted to people I guess. I don’t really like to use labels.”

“Why?”

“I know they can be helpful to identify with, but I feel they can limit people too. Labels come with different expectations, and people will hold you to those expectations. I’m not ‘The Bisexual’, ‘The Pansexual’ or ‘The Psychic’…I’m just Seraphina!"

By now Seraphina was standing. She blushed and sat back down. "Sorry. Didn’t mean to rant there.”

“I don’t mind listening to rant when you need to vent,” Lita replied.

Ness nodded. “You have a pretty good point.”

Seraphina blushed. “Thanks. I’m in kind of a mood. Tessa talked to me, and you know how bad that is.”

“What the heck did she say now?” Lita asked.

“Just the same crap about my psychic powers,” Seraphina admitted. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t have them.”

“They're amazing!” Ness cheered. “And not just because they saved our lives. Why wouldn’t you want them?”

Seraphina sighed. “When I was little and realized I could see the future, I thought I could use my powers to help people. Like I could see a bad outcome and change it for the better. But then people accused me of being a fraud and my mother…she wanted to use my powers to make money. Once I couldn’t have a vision, to just make one up. We had paying customers. After that, I gave up on them..”

Ness and Lita hugged Seraphina.

“Well, your powers helped us today,” Ness said.

Seraphina blushed but hugged them back. “Yeah, I’m glad for that. Thanks for listening and stuff…I’ve never really talked about it with anyone.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Lita said.


“Another disgusting sight last night,” Tessa stated. “Lita, Ness and Seraphina all wore the same style of braids. It’s really sad actually; Ness and Seraphina are outcasts who are so desperate to fit in, they’ll follow around Lita just because she’s ‘popular’. Now they’ve formed their own little mean girl trio. Lita’s probably made it into an alliance. I’ve got to get rid of her…”


In the library, Tessa whispered to Zipporah

“…And then we’ll eliminate the popular squad,” Tessa explained. “We’ll form an outsider’s alliance. So, what do you say?”

“No,” Zipporah replied.

“What?” Tessa asked. “Why?”

“Do you want the list hand written or typed?” Zipporah said. “One, it sounds like another overrated facet of this show. Two, you’re mainstream. And three, you’re also a rude, narcissistic know-it-all.”

“If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black,” Tessa replied, then cringed. “Fine whatever, I don’t need you or your vote!”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Zipporah replied as she turned a page.

“Attention all contestants,” Jenny said over the P.A., “meet in the lobby in five for your next challenge! Rhonda says, be prepared to be scared…”

Tessa stormed off.


“The owner of this hotel was a misunderstood genius of his time,” Zipporah said. “Just like myself. He built this hotel over an Indian gravesite. And underground he constructed a series of catacombs, a torture chamber, a cathedral and a Mickey D’s. In case he worked up his appetite being even more amazing."


Cynthia carried a duffel bag and pulled out a chainsaw. “Scared? I doubt that.”


The contestants gathered in the lobby where Jenny and Toby waited.

“Everyone get on the bus,” Toby stated.

“But Mr. Toby where is Ms. Rhonda?” Melissa asked.

“Oh, so we’re not good enough for you?” Jenny pouted.

“You’ll hear from her later,” Toby said. “But first we have to get to the location for today's challenge.”

“Which is?” Pascal asked.

“Up your butt,” Toby replied. “Now stop wasting fuel, and more importantly my time, and get on the bus.”


The newcomers arrived at a lot of abandoned warehouses. The sun was almost set as they exited.

“Your challenge is simple,” Toby stated. “Find a PDA hidden in one of these warehouses. Once each team finds one, you’ll both be given more instructions.”

“Now lets get out of here before it happens,” Jenny added.

The bus sped off, leaving the contestants in the dust.

“These challenges just get more and more uncreative,” Hayden said.

“You’re surprised?” Zipporah asked.


The Molting Eagles and Fizzled Firework dispersed, splitting up to search the grounds.

Seraphina stopped at a warehouse and pulled up the door. She walked inside and started examining abandoned boxes.

As she did, Pascal snuck by. He slammed the door, then locked the handle from the outside. Seraphina banged on the gate as Pascal snickered and skipped away.

“You should have seen that coming psychic,” Pascal whispered. “Now when we lose, the team will blame you and you’ll go home. Serves you right for interfering with my flash drive search.”

“HEY!” Seraphina screamed and banged on the door. “HELP! HELP! Ugh…”

Seraphina slumped to the floor.

"Hello?"

She looked up as Xidorn lifted the door. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Seraphina replied. “Thanks to you.”

“Always happy to help,” Xidorn asked. “How did you get locked in here anyway?”

"I have the sinking suspicion someone wanted to trap me in here.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t work alone,” Xidorn suggested. “Let’s do it together."

"We're on opposite teams," Seraphina said.

"The challenge doesn’t start until both teams find a PDA," Xidorn replied. "If you don't want to, it's fine.”

“No, it's not that, ” Seraphina said blushing. “I actually like hanging out with you.”

“You mean that?” Xidorn asked.

“Yeah,” Seraphina replied. “You’re a cinephile, funny and I like how honest you are; it’s refreshing.”

“Same,” Xidorn replied. “I mean, about you. I like your snark.”


Meanwhile, Pascal skipped straight into Griswold.

Griswold picked up Pascal by his tee and dusted him off. “Sorry about that buddy, didn’t see you. But we got good news, Riley and I found two PDAs!”

“Yipee Skippy!” Pascal cheered. “Where are they?”

“I have ours right here,” Griswold stated. “Riley is giving the other to the Eagles.”

“What?” Pascal asked. “Why are you helping our enemies?”

"Slow your roll dude,” Griswold stated. “Just because we compete against the Eagles doesn’t mean we have to hate them. We can’t start till they do anyway, so let’s help them out.”


Pascal smiled but his eye twitched. “I’ve stumbled into some crazy alternate dimension, where I’m on a reality show…and people are playing nice! It’s so infuriating to try and actually play this game when no else is! Someone just kill me now!”

The elevator door opened as a green scorpion-like tail swung in and snatched up Pascal…


Seraphina and Xidorn walked together and laughed.

“You told your math teacher you thought she looked like the Wicked Witch?” Seraphina giggled.

“She asked what was on my mind,” Xidorn admitted.

“Grrrrr…”

Seraphina turned around and gulped. “You know how you wanted to see The Invaders?”

“Yeah,” Xidorn replied.

“There’s an early showing."

Xidorn turned around to see an alien, some kind of green reptile beast with no eyes, two mouths and a scorpion tail with a claw-like end.

“Holy peanut butter enchiladas!” Xidorn shouted. “That’s the original animatronic from the 1985 version of The Invaders! Do you think I could get his autograph?”

The invader thrashed its tail towards them.

“I don’t think he likes autographs,” Seraphina replied.

The alien growled and swung towards Xidorn as he tried to take a picture on his phone.

“Look out!” Seraphina screamed as she pushed Xidorn away, only for the alien to grab her instead. “Run Xidorn, run!"

"Seraphina!"

"I’ll try and get you an autograph…”

“You're the best!” Xidorn yelled.


All the teams were running for the entrance as the invaders…uh, invaded. At the gate were two jeeps, each with a symbol for one of the two teams.

Riley, Griswold, Ignacio, Tessa and Zipporah hopped in the Fireworks jeep while Melissa, Weston, Cynthia, Hayden, Vance and Xidorn hopped into the Eagles jeep.

The two teams stormed off down separate streets. Suddenly their PDAs turned on, Rhonda appearing on their screens.

“Howdy everyone,” Rhonda greeted. “So, were you scared?”

“No,” Cynthia said as she drove the Eagles’ jeep.

“As you may know,” Rhonda continued, “the famous movie The Invaders has a reboot in theaters. For some promotional benefits, we have repurposed the original animatronics to use for a challenge!”

“Who would have guessed,” Zipporah stated.

“For this challenge, all you have to do is stop an alien invasion. Piece of cake. By which I mean you’re all doomed. As in the original, you must save the Earth by destroying the Queen Invader and her eggs, before they hatch and create an alien army. Oh and you have one hour until they hatch.”

A countdown clock appeared on the PDA and started ticking.

“This PDA will give you coordinates to a shed,” Rhonda explained. “In this shed are weapons you can use to defeat the Invaders, whose nest is somewhere in the hotel. The team whose destroys the queen wins immunity! However, if the queen survives past the hour…then both teams will be sending someone home. Good luck!”

The remaining Eagles soared down the highway.

“This challenge seems a teeny weeny bit unsafe,” Melissa said. “Wouldn’t you agree Hayden?”

Hayden jumped in place. “We’re going hunting gang! Aw man, what kind of weapons do you think we’re going to get? I call dibs on any shotguns! Oooh…uh, did you say something Melissa?”

“Nevermind,” Melissa replied.

“We aren’t in any real danger,” Cynthia stated.

“I suppose you’re right,” Melissa said. “I feel quite awful that we have to hurt those poor little killer aliens.”

“They’re inanimate objects Melissa,” Xidorn stated. “They can’t feel pain…”

Melissa nodded. “I know, but since we need objects for tasks shouldn’t we treat them respectfully and nicely for doing their job?”

“Amen,” Vance said as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.

“I guess I agree,” Xidorn admitted. “These were one of a kind animatronics back in the day; they should be in a film museum. But they’re tossed aside because of a reboot. How sad.”

“If it’s done, it’s done,” Vance said. “Throw it in the scrap heap and get the fancy smancy model. Ain’t it why we got reboots; for new, better things?”

“That's also true,” Xidorn stated. “It isn’t good to look at things through nostalgia glasses. Hmm…it almost feels like we taking existentially, doesn’t it? Like about something else.”

“I don’t know I’m partial to the original,” Weston admitted. “It was some of Cornelius Puckerschmidt’s best work.”

“You’re a Cornelius Puckerschmidt fan?” Xidorn asked.

“Does an Invader Queen have three reproductive organs?” Weston asked.

“Only in the special edition director’s cut of Invader 3: The Unnecessary Prequel,” Xidorn shouted. “I didn’t know you were a movie buff.”

“I just love monster movies,” Weston admitted. “Monsters are cool and badass.”

“Speaking of monsters,” Vance said. “The invaders are riding our goose to the hoedown!”

“Oh no,” Weston said. “They’re using their Hovercrafts of Doom from the original movie!”

The Eagles turn around to see the invaders driving a golf cart.

“They blew the budget on the animatronics,” Xidorn explained.

The invaders sped up, raising their claw tails.

“They’re gaining on us,” Hayden stated.

Cynthia said nothing but swerved into the opposite lane of incoming traffic and slammed the gas.

“Weeee!” Weston shouted as the jeep narrowly swerved away from a mini van.

“You’re driving like crazy!” Hayden said, almost drowned out by honks. “You’re going to kill us all!”

Cynthia didn’t respond, as she avoided a tanker. Out of her pocket she threw a knife into the tanker’s wheels. It spun out of control, toppling over and crashing into the golf cart. Both were consumed by a giant explosion.

“You’re welcome,” Cynthia said as she returned to her lane.

“That was AWESOME!” Weston cheered.

But the invaders charged out of the explosion, their skin melted away to reveal their metal skeletons. They snarled, ramming into the Eagle's jeep.

“Oh no,” Weston whimpered as he fell back, on holding on by grabbing the jeep's bumper. An invader’s tail clawed onto his throat.

“Man in danger!” Hayden yelled, as he ran to pull Weston away. “We aren’t letting them get you Weston!”

He, Xidorn, Vance and Melissa tried to pull Weston free.

The invader in the co-pilot seat hissed and snatched Weston’s leg.

Cynthia tried to swerve away, but the invaders hung on.

The other invader released Weston, to grab Hayden and pull the older boy off.

“Go on without me,” Hayden screamed. “I believe in all of-“

The invader sprayed Hayden with knockout gas and threw him in a trashcan on the sidewalk.

“Melissa take the wheel,” Cynthia stated.

Cynthia stood up and twirled out a knife. “I’ll kill them myself.”

Everyone backed way as Cynthia walked forward.

“Aah,” Weston screamed, closing his eyes as the invaders pulled him.

His hands slipped…but he felt someone grab his arm. He opened his eyes to see the claw tails swarming around him but then…

Kkk!

The tails were sliced off, green fluid oozing everywhere. Cynthia was covered in their fake blood as she bit off their hands and held onto Weston’s arm.

“Woah,” Weston swooned, his eyes growing wide and dazed…as romantic music mixed with the sounds of alien screams. A border of ribbons and flowers held by cupids surrounded Cynthia’s blood spattered face.

Cynthia threw Weston aboard.

“You saved my life Cynthia,” Weston sighed.

“You weren’t going to die,” Cynthia replied.

Weston glomped Cynthia. “You’re my hero!”

Weston blushed at Cynthia’s unblinking eyes and pulled away.


“I never noticed before but Cynthia is pretty cool,” Weston sighed. “And kind of cute. She actually reminds me of a serial killer or monster from a horror movie…she disturbs me, but I think I’m attracted to her…which disturbs me even more.”


Meanwhile, the Fireworks had arrived at the shed.

“Has anyone seen these movies?” Griswold asked.

“I tried to engage in one,” Ignacio admitted. “But I was continuously perplexed by the biologically unfeasible physiology of these ‘invaders’ and couldn’t immerse myself into the work.”

Griswold scratched his head. “Is that a yes or a no?”

“Dude look at these weapons!” Riley shouted.

Inside the shed were a series of water balloons, soakers and other water toys.

“Given their a few decades old enough water must cause a malfunction in their circuitry,” Ignacio predicted.

“Well I for one refuse to use any of these weapons,” Tessa stated. “I don’t believe in using violence.”

“Do you believe in getting captured by aliens?” Zipporah asked.

A metallic growl echoed out.

Tessa grabbed a water gun. “Fine.”

“I appreciate you doing this challenge to help the team Tessa,” Griswold said.

“I’m not doing this for you,” Tessa replied.

“I appreciate you doing it for whatever reason,” Griswold said. “I know you have reservations about this team, but we are a team and every member is important. That means you too.”

“As much fun as I’m having here, which is so much,” Zipporah said, “we need to get going before…”

A golf cart of Invaders rammed through the shelter.

“Nevermind,” Zipporah said, running out the front door.

“Everyone get out,” Griswold stated, punching off the head of the Invader. “I can hold them back.”

“Slow your roll G.I. Bro,” Riley said. “You aren’t fighting these things alone.”

“He’s not,” Ignacio said grabbing a water gun. “I’m going to stay and fight with him. Grab what you guys need and get of here, we’ll meet up after we take care of this.”

Riley sniffled and saluted her teammates, Tessa and her taking supplies and leaving. Riley drove herself, Tessa and Zipporah away in the jeep. Tessa watched as more Invaders came to the shed.

“Why did Griswold do that?” Tessa asked. “He could’ve tried to escape with us.”

“If he did we’d all be in danger,” Riley explained. “Gris Bear did us a solid.”

“Then why did Ignacio stay?” Tessa asked. “How would that benefit him in the long run? It means less people in the final fight against the queen, meaning we’re more likely to lose! He should’ve known the odds were bad.”

“He did know,” Riley said. “But he wanted to give him and Gris both a chance to make it out of there; he took those odds knowing they were bad. He was a real bro.”

“Now what?” Tessa asked.

“What do you mean?” Riley asked. “We win the challenge, that’s what! For all the friends we’ve lost in the challenge; for Gris Bear and Iggy Pop and Easton Shore and Lightning Lita and Seraphina Silverman and Loch Ness and for all the Fireworks and for ‘MURICA and every country and ever!”

Zipporah golf clapped and yawned.

“Do you have a nickname for everyone?” Tessa asked.

“Mostly,” Riley replied. “Why, you want one?”

“Please don’t,” Tessa replied.


At the same time, The Eagles were stockpiling their own weapons.

“The nest should be underground,” Xidorn said. “That’s where they always are in the movies.”

“And this is the part of the movie when the Invaders would try to ambush us before we get our weapons,” Weston stated.

“Hisssss…”

“The hot southern one doesn’t die first right?” Vance asked.

“Get out of here,” Xidorn stated. “I can take them.”

Melissa gasped. “But Xidorn-”

Suddenly an ambush of aliens attacked.

“Save yourselves!” Xidorn shouted. “This is the part where someone makes a self sacrifice!”

The other Eagles drove off as Xidorn starting firing.

“Smile you son of a ******!” Xidorn yelled, throwing a balloon grenade at the invaders and firing off his water machine gun.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

The invaders collapsed in defeat.

Xidorn sighed. “Phew, that was easier than I thought it-“

Hisssss…

“Clever girl,” Xidorn said before a claw tail grabbed him and carried him away into the shadows…


The Fireworks saw the hotel in the distance; thirty minutes were left on the clock.

“According to this Google search,” Tessa read off the PDA. “The Invader Queen is always underground.”

“Maybe she’s in the hotel’s basement,” Riley suggested.

“It doesn’t have a basement,” Zipporah said. “But, it does have a series of underground catacombs; that’s where they found most of the victims.”

“Of course it does,” Tessa sighed.

“Any ideas where in the catacombs the queen is Z?” Riley asked.

“Given how cliché this show is,” Zipporah said. “I’d assume it’d be in the center of the catacombs, where his torture chamber is. It’s right next to the underground Mickey D’s.”

"Nice!” Riley cheered. “We can get a burger after this is over. What do you want Tessa, a sweet tea? That’s it, Sweet T! That’s a killer nickname.”

“Please don’t,” Tessa said.

Riley crashed the jeep into the lobby. “We’ll deal with that later. Z, which way to the catacombs?”

Zipporah shrugged.

“How do you not know?” Tessa asked.

“It’s through a secret passage of some kind,” Zipporah replied.

“Alright Firework,s let’s find a secret passage,” Riley yelled before her stomach groaned. “As soon as I finish using the can.”

Riley ran to a nearby bathroom as Zipporah looked behind paintings while Tessa started tossing books off the shelf.

“Oh no!” Riley shouted. “The handle is stuck. It won’t flush.”

“Trying jiggling it,” Tessa suggested.

“Smart thinking Sweet T!” Riley replied.

"Don’t call me that,” Tessa replied.

Swoosh…

“Uhh guys,” Riley said. “I think I found the secret passage…”

“Please don’t let it be the toilet,” Tessa murmured.

“It’s the toilet!” Riley shouted. “Jiggling the handle worked, in more than one way!”


Soon after the Eagles reached the hotel.

“Looks like the Fireworks are already here,” Melissa stated.

“Why do you say that?” Weston asked. They walked past the jeep still in the wall.

“We have twenty minutes left,” Cynthia stated.

“Where’s the door to that durn basement?” Vance asked.

“Let’s ask the front desk,” Weston suggested and dinged the reception bell. A secret doorway opened from the wall.

“I guess they didn’t hear me,” Weston said.


The Fireworks had found the center chamber of the catacombs. The only light came from torches lining the walls. Egg sacs were slimed upon the ceiling…with the captured contestants trapped inside.

The Eagles entered on a balcony above the .

“Oh my,” Melissa whispered.

Suddenly a high-pitched scream rang out. The torches blew out. Green lighting flashed. A huge, insectoid alien rose from the floor. She cried out as an army of invaders hatched from the ceiling and descended on the newcomers.

“How many animatronics did they make?” Tessa said.

Cynthia began shooting a water boozka and the others followed suit. A scorpion tail snatched Zipporah and threw her into an egg sac.

“I always knew I died thanks to mainstream media,” Zipporah stated as she was sealed inside.

“No Z!” Riley shouted. “You were such a good fr…you were so helpf…well I liked you!”

“Riley look out!” Tessa shouted as she shot an Invader.

“Thanks girl,” Riley replied as the two got back to back and blasted aliens.

“Looks like we’re going down,” Tessa replied.

“Then let’s go down together,” Riley said.

An invader growled behind them but they blasted him.

“Woo!” Riley cheered as she and Tessa high fived. “You’re slaying it Sweet T.”

“I said don’t call me that,” Tessa sighed but smirked.

“You know you love it,” Riley replied.

“Sorry to disappoint you all,” Melissa said as she was carried off. “But it seems I’m being sacrificed for their alien babies.”

“It happens,” Vance said as he was carried off as well.

Cynthia knifed another alien but an Invader tiptoed near her.

“Cynthia!” Weston shouted. “NOOO!”

Weston jumped forward and fell into the alien’s arm. The invader shrugged and kidnapped Weston.

Click. Click.

“I’m out of ammo,” Tessa said.

“Me too dude,” Riley replied.

An invader charged towards Tessa.

“Then I guess this is it,” Tessa sighed and closed her eyes.

Bang.

“Guess again.”

Tessa opened her eyes to see Griswold and Ignacio charge in.

“You’re alive?” Tessa asked.

“Thanks to my teammate,” Griswold replied.

“Now we’re here to help our other teammates,” Ignacio stated as he tossed Tessa and Riley water guns. “We got five minutes left.”

"That’s all the time we need!” Riley shouted as she lead the charge towards the queen.

The Fireworks ran with their guns blazing, but the queen swatted them against the wall with her scorpion tail. The remaining invaders trapped them in egg sacs.

“It’s just you and me…”

Cynthia pulled her chainsaw out of her duffel bag. The alien queen growled.

Cynthia cocked her head as she descended the steps. "You think I'm afraid of you? You think I'm afraid of your robots or cursed hotel? You think I'm afraid of smoke and mirrors? I'm not afraid of anything.

"You’re nothing but a cheap trick. I know real pain, real hurt. I don’t need superstition or sound effects; all I need is a weapon. With just a knife, I can make you feel more pain and fear in a minute than you have in your lifetime.

"I know real fear. Because I control fear. Because I embody fear. Because I am the master of fear. You want to know and understand fear? Allow me to show you."

Cynthia revved up her chainsaw as the lights went out. The next sounds were the alien screams and Cynthia's chainsaw hacking the queen’s body in half, her slimy blood oozing everywhere.

The timer froze at exactly one second.

Cynthia yanked an egg sac off the wall and cut out Melissa.

“Oh deary me,” Melissa said. “You saved us Cynthia! You’re a hero!”

Rhonda, Jenny and Toby exited a small door with disturbed expressions on their face.

"Congrats on your win Eagles,” Rhonda announced. “We’ll see the Fireworks tonight. Right now I think I need a moment… to cry.”


"I talked to Pascal," Tessa explained. "I tried to convince him to vote for Lita, but he wouldn't agree to it! Some ally he turned out to be. Lita probably seduced him. I've had to deal my whole life with people like her; putting me down, trying to make me feel inferior. I won't let her do that to me anymore."


Tessa stomped down the hallway and ran into Lita, walking with Griswold, Riley, Easton, Seraphina, Ness and Ignacio.

“Oh hey Sweet T,” Riley greeted. “I got you a sweet tea for Mickey D’s.”

Tessa scowled and faced Lita. “Why don’t you watch where you’re going?”

“You’re the one who ran into me,” Lita replied.

Tessa stood up and walked off. “Whatever, I don’t have time for this again…”

“If you got something to say,” Lita said, “then say it.”

“So, uh do you want the sweet tea or…”

“I know your type,” Tessa replied. “You think you’re cool just because you break hearts. But everyone can see what you really are; you’re just making a fool of yourself. Imagine how your mother must feel.”

Lita clenched her fist. “You leave my momma out of this!”

“Why?” Tessa asked. “It makes the most sense; like mother, like daughter. Bet the rest of your family is messed up too, aren’t they?”

You…you…you…” Lita stammered.

“Lita don’t get mad,” Ness said. “She isn’t worth it.”

Lita held her fist up. “I’ve had to hear the same thing my whole life from people like you. But you leave my family out of it, you…you…ahhh…”

Lita started to cry.

Tessa stepped back.

“Come on let’s go,” Seraphina stated, as she and Ness walked Lita away.

Tessa grunted and stormed off.

"I’m sorry,” Lita sniffled. “I didn’t mean to cry…”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” Ignacio replied.


"I can’t believe she started crying,” Tessa said. “She must’ve been faking it…right? Whatever, now she’s going to try and get me eliminated. But I have a trick up my sleeve…”

From her sleeve, Tessa pulled out a blue flash drive. “A immunity flash drive. Its said only an Eagle can use this one at an elimination ceremony…but that doesn’t mean it has to be used at an Eagles’ elimination ceremony. I just need an Eagle who'd use it to save me…”


The Fizzled Fireworks sat at the elimination ceremony.

“Well its two for two so far,” Rhonda said. “You guys know how this works, so let’s go to the voting-“

Kalino stumbled out of the voting booth. “Whoops, wrong place mannnnn.”

“What are you doing Kalino?” Rhonda asked.

“Nothin,” Kalino replied. “I just got lost looking for a bathroom.”

Tessa smirked as Kalino nodded her direction and left.

“As I was saying, let’s vote,” Rhonda said.

After the votes had been cast, Toby pulled out a tray of coffee cups.

“I have nine cups of black coffee,” Rhonda said.

“We ran out of sugar,” Toby said.

“There are ten of you,” Rhonda said. “Whoever does not get a coffee cup will leave through the Revolving Doors of Shame and depart of The Public Transportation of Losers. The first coffee cup goes to…Griswold.”

Griswold caught his cup.

“Next is…Zipporah, Easton and Riley.”

Toby tossed their cups.

“Ignacio, Ness, Pascal and…Seraphina.”

Seraphina caught Ness’ cup for her.

“Lita and Tessa; there is only one cup of coffee left. One of you will be going home…”



“…JK, we all know Tessa’s eliminated.”

Lita caught her cup and sighed in relief.

Tessa frowned, turned her nose and walked out the Revolving Doors of Shame.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” Seraphina sighed.


“Tessa wanted me to use this immunity flash drive on her,” Kalino stated.

He hold up the blue flash drive. “It would’ve actually worked too, which is pretty nifty. But Tessa would just get voted off next time. Why waste it on her when I can use it on myself? Man, it’s so easy to find these things.”


Tessa sat on a bench at a stop for the Public Transportation of Losers.

“Here.”

Tessa turned to see Riley holding out a sweet tea.

“Save it,” Tessa replied.

“Whatever,” Riley said. “I thought we worked great in the challenge together.”

“Is that why you got me this?” Tessa said.

“Yeah,” Riley replied. “And well…you looked kind of alone. I thought you might be different than you seemed. Hope you get your stuff figured out dude.”

Riley set the sweet tea on the bench and left.

Tessa sighed. She picked up the sweet tea as the Public Transportation of Losers arrived.

Chapter 7 Beauty and the Feast[]

Knock, knock.

Cynthia opened her door to find Weston standing there.

"Oh hey Cynthia, you're staying at this hotel?” Weston asked. “That’s so cool, me too. Did you here about this new romantic comedy Kiss Kiss Slap coming out? We should-“

Cynthia slammed the door in Weston’s face.


Kalino and Frannie sat with their arms crossed in the confessional.

“Hey what gives?” Frannie asked.

“Yeah,” Kalino said. “We hardly got any focus last time.”

“We were totally doing important plot related things last chapter,” Frannie pouted.


The scene changed to a flashback of one of the days before the Invaders challenge. A huge mall, the Tysons Corner Center, was shown.

“WEEEEEEE!” Frannie and Kalino shouted in unison as the slowly rode up an escalator in the mall. “WEEEEEEEEEE!”

A toddler holding his mother’s hand turned around. He rolled his eyes. “Losers.”

“What’d you say?” Kalino said. Kalino grabbed the toddler, which Frannie proceeded to punt the small child away.

The mother turned around. “Excuse me, did you just dropkick my son?”

“Heck yeah we did,” Frannie replied. “What are you gonna do about it?”


A few seconds later, Frannie and Kalino landed on their butts as they were literally kicked out of the mall.

Whelp looks like its time for Plan Q,” Frannie stated, putting on a fake mustache and monocle.

“Way ahead of you,” Kalino said, wearing a powdered wig as he started to strip.


Kalino and Frannie laughed and high-fived.

“We punked ya,” Kalino laughed.

“We totally weren’t doing anything plot important,” Frannie giggled.


Kalino and Frannie were still laughing at table in the cafeteria.

“You know Fran the Man,” Kalino said. “I’ve been thinking and well…I have an important question to ask you.”

Frannie froze. “Yes, Kalino.”

“Franne, would you do me the honor,” Kalino said. “Of joining my alliance?”

Frannie sniffled. “Of course I would! Wait…you have your another alliance?”

“Well,” Kalino whispered, “I’ve formed a secret one with a couple of dudes; I’d have told you earlier if it wasn’t so secret. I know our old alliance is kind of done with Diamonique gone, but we can fuse our alliances like a Dragon Ball Z character and go Super Sayian on this thing.”

“Ooh I love it when you make nineties anime references,” Frannie swooned. “Okay, let’s do it!”

“Sweetness,” Kalino said. “Now, the reason its so secret is because Pascal from the Fireworks is on. So we can’t tell anybody about this alliance. Especially anybody.”

“No problem,” Frannie replied. “I’m great at keeping secrets, like my dad’s horrible backne problem. Anyone else in our alliance?”

Bethany was,” Kalino stated. “And finally Vance.”

Frannie looked over to see Vance picking a piece of chicken from his gap tooth and farting at the same time.

“Vance?” Frannie asked. “Not to be mean but Vance-“

“-has a personality akin to a piece of toilet paper with a suspicious yellow liquid, some raisins and a large chest hair on it?” Kalino asked. “True, but that makes Vance, and his muscles, useful for the future.”

“Huh,” Frannie said. “I didn’t think of it like that. In that case, sounds like we’ve got a good plan. Thanks Kalino.”


“You know Kalino seems like a goofball,” Frannie said. “He is! Which is great, but he’s also a really sweet, trustworthy guy. Plus, he always has an open shirt showing off his pecs. I think I might…nah, I shouldn’t say that…too cheesy...”


At a separate table, The Fizzled Fireworks sat eating breakfast. Except for Zipporah, who was writing poetry in a dark corner.

“Hey everyone,” Lita said. “I want to apologize for my meltdown the other day.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Griswold said. “If anything, we should apologize for not voting her off sooner.”

“Let’s just put behind us and forget it ever happened,” Seraphina said. “Or Tessa ever existed. Especially that last part.”


“I’m not someone to cry usually,” Lita said. “Or at least in front of other people. But my family…is very personal to me. I just don’t like to talk about them…”


“You know I think Frannie’s stopped stalking me,” Ignacio stated. “Maybe I’ve gotten uglier or something.”

“I wouldn’t say that sugar,” Lita teased as Ignacio blushed. “I believe she found herself a boytoy. Hopefully, she isn’t the only one.”

Lita motioned to down the table where Ness and Pascal were talking.

Ness giggled. “You tell the best stories Pascal, tell me again about you solved the puzzle and saved your team.”

“Gladly,” Pascal replied. “Well Amanda Picklestein came up and-“

Lita sighed happily. “Its beautiful thing when people can find happiness in love.”

“Yeah,” Griswold sighed, staring at Lita.

Lita dropped a cheese fry into her bra and reached down to remove it. Ignacio stared before blushing and looking away. “Yeah…”

Seraphina stared at Xidorn. "Yeah."


“I think I might really like Lita,” Griswold said. “I think. How do you know when you like someone? Like, really like them? Do I even have a chance? Girls never really seem to like me when I was small…I still feel small now…why is so hard for me? Ugh…”


“Lita is a rather pretty girl,” Ignacio admitted. “Not that I’m thinking about that or anything. I’m still not over my breakup with my ex Carla. Still…Lita is…never mind! Ididn’tsayanything!”


And now a poem by a poet not on the Hollywood paycheck,” Zipporah stated.

“The puppies in the shelter died,

And not a single person cried.

A million children starved and dead,

And not a single tear was shed.

An album is delayed a day,

A million tears people pay."

Zipporah motioned dropping a mike. "Thanks government politicians!"


Knock, knock.

Cynthia opened the door to see Weston standing there.

“What?!” Weston exclaimed. “Funny running into you here Cynthia. So there’s this Italian place here, even though we aren’t in Italy so maybe its not Italian but-“

Cynthia slammed the door in Weston’s face.


“I began to worry what the impacts of this show could be on young, still growing children,” Hayden stated. “I decided to do some observations on my teammates. I started simple with some projective tests; not always accurate but something to gauge them. My results were…”


“…Let’s do some word association Kalino,” Hayden said. “Just say the first word that comes to your mind; family.”

“sasserginormachoochongy,” Kalino replied.

“A real word,” Hayden replied. “Toxic.”

“Mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn….”


“…Now tell me what you see,” Hayden said as he held up an inkblot to Weston.

“Hmm,” Weston murmured. “I see…a piece of paper.”

“Yes, but what on the paper?” Hayden asked.

“Ooh,” Weston replied. “Hmm, it looks like…an inkblot!”

Hayden face-palmed…


…Just say the first word that comes to mind,” Hayden said, “bear.”

“Bear!” Frannie shouted.

“A different word,” Hayden said. “Let’s try again; sad.”

“Bear!” Frannie shouted.

Hayden groaned.

“It was a different word,” Frannie pointed out.

Hayden shook his head. “That-“

“-Bear!” Frannie yelled...


…Hayden held up an inkblot.

“Hmm,” Melissa said. “Ooh, I see a double rainbow in the sky, raining tasty yet dentally hygienic candy to all the children of the world, who join hand in hand to sing.”

Hayden looked down to see he had turned the inkblot backwards, onto a blank page...


“…Now say the first word that comes to mind,” Hayden said to Aiden, “Beauty.”

“Yosemite National Park,” Aiden replied.

“Hate,” Hayden said.

“Taxes,” Aiden replied.

“Handsome,” Hayden said.

“George Washington’s jawline,” Aiden replied…


“…The first word that comes to mind,” Hayden said. “Stars.”

“Space Wars VI,” Xidorn replied.

“Is that a movie?” Hayden asked.

Xidorn gasped. “You aren’t familiar with the Space Wars series? It’s one of the best sci-fi series ever! It started in the 1970s as a TV-show, Space Explorers.”

“Xidorn I don’t really-“

“-which in its third season was later retconned to be in the same continuity as Moon Family, the 1950s sitcom…”


“…Say the first word that comes to mind,” Hayden stated. “Ugly.”

“Your mama!” Vance replied, laughing until he knocked himself over in chair…


“..nnnnnnnnnnn…what was the question?” Kalino asked.

Hayden sighed and grabbed his temple…


“…Tell me the first word that comes to mind,” Hayden said. “Happy.”

“Murder,” Cynthia replied.

Hayden gulped. “Uhh, friends.”

“Murder,” Cynthia replied.

“Murder,” Hayden stated.

“Soon,” Cynthia said…


“…Inconclusive,” Hayden stated. “Very inconclusive.”


Knock, Knock.

Cynthia opened the door to see Weston standing there.

“Hey,” Weston said. “Listen, sorry I’ve been bugging you. I thought it’d be cool if we hung out; I’ve got some watermelons and a jackhammer if you want to smash them or…”

Cynthia slammed the door in Weston’s face…

…as she pulled him away by the arm.


In the library, Xidorn was reading Helga Potter and the Sorcerer’s Schnitzel when a series of bookshelves fell over. Xidorn turned to see Vance muttering swears and kicking pages.

“Everything okay Vance?” Xidorn asked.

“These durn books have darned dilled my pickle,” Vance replied. “Tried to find one on how to track animals but they don’t got no pictures in ‘em.”

“You could try reading them,” Xidorn suggested.

“Are you saying I don’t know how to read?” Vance asked. “Cause I do! Only poor people are illit…itlight…can’t read.”

Xidorn raised an eyebrow. “No one said you didn’t. I thought you said you tracked animals all the time back on the farm.”

“Uhh…well I do,” Vance replied. “But it's different in the city. I wouldn’t understand a city slacker to understand.”

“I’d be happy to help you if you need it Vance,” Xidorn said.

“Really?” Vance asked. 

“We are teammates,” Xidorn admitted. “I also like the library standing up.”

“Thanks but no thanks,” Vance replied. “I ride…alone.”

Vance struck a pose and froze in place. No one moved for a couple of minutes until Xidorn coughed and left.


Outside, Cynthia smashed watermelons as Weston watched.

“You’re really beautiful when you're maiming stuff,” Weston swooned.

“Thanks,” Cynthia replied as she smashed another watermelon. “This is was a fun thing for us to do.”

Weston giggled and fell back on the wall.

“Why aren’t you hanging out with your brother?” Cynthia asked.

“Oh,” Weston said. “Its kind of a long story, you don’t want hear it.”

“I asked,” Cynthia stated.

“Basically he doesn’t want me as a brother,” Weston replied. “He thinks I’m a burden and an idiot…which I might be.”

“You are what you believe you are,” Cynthia stated.

“True,” Weston said. “I came here to be closer with him, but now I know what he really thinks of me. I know I shouldn’t be so upset. I’m no better. I’ve always been secretly jealous of him. I feel like everyone knew he was the older twin, the smarter twin; it's not Weston, but Easton and Weston in that order. I feel like everyone thinks I’m not as good as him and I feel like I need him to be…something. I still loved him though…”

“You should think about your future,” Cynthia said.

“Yeah,” Weston sighed.

“You seem to be doing fine right now,” Cynthia stated.

“I am, aren’t I?” Weston asked.

“You two needed some time apart,” Cynthia said. "And still do."

"I think you're right," Weston said. "You know you're a really good listener Cynthia."

"I get that a lot," Cynthia replied.


Later that night, Pascal was pulling up rugs. “If it’s not in the plants, the flash drive could be in the floorboards…”

“Pascal…again?”

Pascal turned to see Seraphina standing behind him.

“Uh…oh my goodness!” Pascal stated. “Seraphina, you look great for two in the morning! Still can’t sleep, huh?”

“Yeah,” Seraphina replied. “And you lost your contacts again…under a rug?”

“Uh…yup,” Pascal replied. “I was cleaning the carpet earlier.” 

“You were cleaning the carpet in a hotel?” Seraphina asked. “Where there are maids?”

“It’s um…part of a new dancing routine,” Pascal stated. “You know how music videos have nothing to with the song but you gotta do something…anyway, you ready for the next challenge?”

“As long as it doesn’t involve aliens,” Seraphina stated. “At least I got Xidorn an autograph from that Invader.”

“A shame you got locked in that warehouse,” Pascal stated. “Maybe if you weren’t trapped you wouldn’t have gotten captured.”

Seraphina frowned. “I wasn’t trapped, I was released… I never told anybody about getting locked in.”

“I overheard the interns mention it,” Pascal replied, as he stood up and turned. “Anyhow, I found my contacts. Have the sweetest of dreams tonight Seraphina…"


“…while you can,” Pascal stated. “Because you won’t be sleeping here much longer. As soon as I have an excuse to vote you off, I will! You’ll slip up and I’ll be ready…”


“Pascal?” Seraphina said. “Yeah no, **** that guy to the ninth circle of heck, he’s the worst. I knew from the first moment I saw him he was fake! He’s a two-faced rat, plain and simple. Sooner or later, he’ll screw himself over. I just don’t know if I have time to wait for that…”


The next day, Melissa was baking in the kitchen as some of her teammates ate her treats. Another ding went off in the kitchen. Melissa pulled out chocolate cakes.

“Ooh goody I’ve been hankering for chocolate cakes,” Vance said.

“These are for another charity,” Melissa stated. “I’m helping a orphanage of deaf children form a chorus for a fundraiser. That way they can accomplish two dreams; becoming a singer and becoming a member of a family.”

“Durn,” Vance sighed.

“I’ll help you pack up Melissa,” Aiden said. “We wouldn’t want to be late.”

“What do you do to make your sweets so…uh, sweet?” Xidorn asked. “Do you have a secret formula?”

“Oh, I don't like to keep secrets,” Melissa replied. “Sharing is caring after all. I don’t know if I have a trick…I usually just think of my favorite things and sing about them; I could sing about them right now.”

“Well,” Hayden said, “you don’t have to-“

“-La, la, la, la, la,” Melissa sang. “Ohhhhh….

l like puppies and baby cats,

and their bellies’ warmness,

raising awareness about fruit bats,

and a joyful chorus!

Oh I love our beautiful universe,

I could sing about it verse after verse!"

“Please don’t,” Vance said.

Melissa twirled and jumped onto the counter.

Oh, I like each sneezing panda bear

the sound of bluebirds’ notes,

when a kids learns to share

and riding in row boats!

I like giving old people sponge baths,

Making friendship bracelets,

hiking down nature’s paths 

and giving tips to each waitress!

Oh I love our beautiful universe,

I could sing about it verse after verse!

I like flowers, colors and the sun, 

I like smiles, animals and children having fun!

Yes I think of all this and more when I bake,

But there is one secret ingredient in every pastry and cake,

To everything else my ingredient is above!

My secret ingredient is always…

“Drugs?” Vance suggested.

"Love ,” Melissa sang in a crescendo.

Hayden nudged Aiden, who clapped for her along with Cynthia. Weston and Kalino simultaneously sighed as they looked at Cynthia and Frannie respectively.

“Well, we better get going to the fundraiser,” Melissa stated. “We’ll be back for the challenge tonight. Ooh, let me grab the dolls I bought them. Be right back Aiden.”

“So,” Hayden whispered. “How are you and Melissa? Still okay?”

“Just peachy,” Aiden replied. “She’s actually been teaching me about the Quran. It’s pretty interesting; I don’t understand or believe everything in it. There are a lot of differences but there are similarities.”

“When are you going to ask?” Hayden said.

“Ask what?” Aiden said.

“You know,” Hayden whispered. “Ask her out!”

“Out where?” Aiden said. “Why would I want her out?”

“On a date!” Hayden shouted.

Aiden blushed redder than his shirt. “Ohh...can I do that?”

“You like her don’t you?” Hayden asked.

“I think I do,” Aiden admitted. “I mean Melissa is the most amazing person I’ve ever met in the whole world.”

“That qualifies as liking someone,” Cynthia stated.

I’m just saying you should ask her,” Hayden said.

“I finally found them!” Melissa shouted. “Would you get the cakes Aiden?”

“Gladly,” Aiden replied.


At the same time, Riley and Griswold were playing foosball in the game room.

“When did we get this game room?” Griswold asked.

"Someone found a secret switch to it in the wolf’s head mounted on the wall,” Riley replied. “Right next to the wax figurine who keeps changing poses. Listen dude, we got to have some real talk right now.”

“Dude is it my breath?” Griswold asked.

"Nah smells minty fresh from here son,” Riley said. “It’s about you and Lita.”

At that, the Griswold accidentally shot the foosball off the table, bounced it against the wall and landed it into his pompadour.

“Is it that obvious?” Griswold asked.

Riley nodded. “For real, as obvious as chili on cheese. Except maybe to Lita. So, you going to go for it?”

“I don’t know man,” the lineman replied. “I'm not sure I actually have a chance with her. I mean she’s out of this world.”

“Whoa there astbronaut,” Riley stated. “The only thing that will stop you is not having confidence, you feel me? You’re a beast man! You have a chance.”

“Eh, I have a bad habit of talking to girls I’m attracted to,” Griswald admitted. “I start saying gibberish and muttering and stuttering and-“

Riley grabbed Griswald’s face and looked him straight in the eyes. “Bro… confidence. I think she likes you; she has no reason not to, you’re the coolest guy here! You aren’t going to feel any better saying nothing!”

“You’re right,” Griswald stated. “Thanks Riley, you’re freaking awesome.”

“Duh,” Riley laughed. “Now get the ball out of your poof so I can beat you again.”


“I’ve seen my brothers go through a lot of broken hearts,” Riley stated. “So I know a thing or two about romance, not to mention having been in relationships myself. I’m there when a bro needs a push in the right direction."


"Another poem by another artist lost in the muddled mess that is the nature of reality," Zipporah stated.

"Dear world,

Is it you?

Or is it them?

Who is the origin of sin?

Me?

I blame my loser parents."


Later, the contestants gathered inside the cafeteria for the next challenge.

“Welcome contestants,” Rhonda said. “Today’s challenge was going to take place outside but…”

Rhonda turned on a television, where a reporter was on the streets in front of burning buildings.

“Authorities are encouraging all citizens of Washington D.C., to stay inside and avoid this incident. Reports suggest that this fire was the result of a car crash caused by a loose horse that has been reeking havoc all acr-“

A thrown chair destroyed the screen. Everyone looked to Vance, who hid behind Melissa.

“In any case,” Rhonda stated. “Today’s new challenge will be showcasing the diversity found in the states of the United States…”

In a puff of smoke two tables appeared. Each table had covered silver trays, with a red table cloth for the left table and a blue table cloth for the right table.

“I hope you're hungry,” Rhonda giggled, “because we’ve prepared a feast for all of you! JennyToby, what is on the menu tonight?”

Jenny and Toby popped up wearing chef hats.

“I’m glad you asked,” Jenny replied. “We have fried alligator on a stick, Californian chocolate covered scorpions, cornmeal pudding, Alaskan reindeer hotdogs, New Jersey tomato pie, Texan deep fried rattlesnakes, ghost pepper buffalo wings, smoked black bear, deep fried butter, aussie cheese fries, pickled pigs feet, and rocky mountain oysters…

“I love shellfish,” Ness whispered. “I’ll eat those.”

“Do you love deep fried gonads?” Zipporah asked. “Because that’s what rocky mountain oysters are.”

“Specifically bull gonads,” Jenny stated. “And an old favorite…a single strand of black licorice!”

The contestants gasp in horror.

“Have you no mercy or kindness in your soul?” Hayden asked.

“She doesn’t,” Toby clarified.

“First to finish their entire feast wins,” Rhonda stated. “Anyone who throws up is out of the challenge. Now, get chowing!”

The contestants all stared to grab food. Melissa eyed the feast nervously.


“I knew with my weak stomach I wouldn’t be able to contribute much,” Melissa sighed. “But I had to help anyway I could. I felt so awful thinking any of my teammates would have to eat it, so…”


Melissa grabbed the black licorice and held it in the air above her.

“No!” Aiden gasped.

"Melissa you’ve got so much to live for!” Hayden stated.

“Melissa please don't,” Aiden said, “I never even told you that I think I…”

Melissa forced the licorice down. “Huh, what did you-“

Melissa gagged and ran away to the trashcan where she started to vomit. The other Eagles saluted her for her sacrifice before continuing to feast.

Frannie coughed violently as she tried to eat a ghost pepper wing. “And I thought I was hot stuff. How can anyone eat these things?”


At the Fireworks table, Riley licked her fingers. “I feel like wings should be classified as soul food. Need any help with that smoked bear Gris Bear?”

“Maybe,” Griswold replied. “This kind of feels like cannibalism.”

Zipporah nibbled on a chocolate scorpion. “A beautiful, poisonous creature turned into a sweet treat; an epitome of everything wrong with the world.”


Back at the Eagles table, Cynthia began to eat the rocky mountain oysters. Weston joined in. Weston struggled while Cynthia didn’t even react.


“This isn’t what I had in mind when I said I wanted dinner with Cynthia,” Weston said.


Vance dipped the fried butter stick into the cornmeal pudding and swallowed it whole.

“Psh this ain’t nothing,” Vance said trying not to gag. “I eat country and fair food like this all the-“

Vance threw up over his white pants and dashed off, muttering about having had a big breakfast.

“More for me than,” Kalino stated, throwing the fries into the cornmeal pudding and ate it with his hands.


At the Fireworks, Lita finished the aussie fries and gasped as she saw Ness take the black licorice.

“Ness honey, don’t do it!” Lita screamed. “Don’t be a hero, there has to be another way!”

Ness shrugged and swallowed the licorice.

The Fireworks clapped while Lita placed her hand against the Jinx's forehead. “No fever…your stomach feeling okay? Is there any swelling anywhere?”


“Am I the only person who likes black licorice?” Ness asked. "Seriously, its pretty tasty."


Kalino finished off the ghost pepper wings for Frannie, who tried her best to eat a reindeer hotdog.

“I’m sorry Santa,” Frannie stated. “Please don’t give me coal.”


Meanwhile, Seraphina shrugged as she ate her reindeer hotdog. “Meh, I’m Jewish anyway.”

"That meat isn't kosher though, right?" Griswold asked.

“I’m not very good at being Jewish,” Seraphina added.

“So…whose eating the uh ‘oysters’?” Pascal asked.

Ness gulped. “I did say I'd try them earlier…so why not?”

Ness grabbed one of several and inched it towards her mouth.

“You’re not eating those family jewels alone!” Griswold stated as he put one in his mouth. “Mmm…not bad actually.”

Ness nodded and she chewed hers. “Could use a little sauce though.”


At the Eagles, Xidorn had almost eaten the chocolate scorpions while Hayden finished the smoked black bear.


“I’ve actually hunted black bear before,” Hayden said. “Deer too. My little sister Bambi actually bagged her first buck last deer season…”


Weston and Cynthia both reached for the last rocky mountain oyster. Weston blushed as their hands touched and drew back. Leaning over, Weston nudged it to her with his face.

Cynthia raised an eyebrow.

“Um…err…do you…I can…” Weston muttered before jolting up, accidentally knocking a fork into his arm. “Filho da ****!”

“You alright there Weston?” Xidorn asked with mouth full of scorpion.

Weston pulled out the fork. “Yes, just startled more then anything. This wild fork appeared out of nowhere!”

Xidorn eyes grew wide. “You sure? The bleeding suggests otherwise.”

Weston turned around to see blood spewing out of his arm.

“It’s like a fountain of blood,” Cynthia said as she ran her hands through it.

“Oh yeah, I tend to bleed a lot,” Weston admitted. “But it really tingles more than anything.”

“It looks like both teams are almost done,” Rhonda announced. “Who will win the challenge? Who will scarf and who will barf? Who will-“

“-Done,” Kalino interrupted, having chugged the whole jar of pickled pigs feet.

Rhonda stared. “Well. In that case, it looks like…The Molting Eagles win. Congrats I guess. See you at elimination Fireworks.”

The Eagles cheered while the Fireworks sighed.

“These are addicting,” Riley stated, eating a chocolate scorpion.

“You do know the challenge is over?” Griswold asked.

“Yeah,” Riley replied, eating another scorpion. “It's rude to let food go to waste though. You want one?”

Griswold’s stomach moaned. “I’ll pass, I think I had too many gonads…”

“We did it Melissa!” Aiden cheered.

Melissa held thumbs up as she continued to retch.


"It was seeing Melissa throwing up in that trashcan when I realized I loved her," Aiden stated. "I knew what I had to do."


That night, Melissa was sweeping the kitchen when Aiden walked in.

"You still feeling fine?" Aiden asked. "That poison isn't having any more effect on you, is it?"

"I'm feeling like sunshine," Melissa said. "Thanks for checking on me though."

"You were really something," Aiden said, "making that sacrifice for the team. A real hero."

"I wouldn't go that far," Melissa said.

"I would," Aiden said. "I'd tell everyone what a hero you are Melissa; a person like you comes around only once in a lifetime. I'm glad I meet you."

"I was thinking the same about you," Melissa admitted. "Anyways, I should-"

"-I really like you," Aiden said. 

Melissa dropped her broom. "Really?"

"Yes," Aiden replied. "Do you want to...go on a date?"

"Yes. Yes! I'd love to!"

Melissa glomped Aiden who joined in laughing, holding her up and turning her around.

"I really like you too," Melissa replied.


"Huh," Aiden said. "That was easier than I thought it would be. Why doesn't everyone do that?"


At the same time the Fireworks gathered at the Haunted Internet Café Ceremony.

“Whelp, that’s three strikes against you Fireworks,” Rhonda stated. “And somebody’s out!"

Seriously though,” Jenny said. “You guys have been sucking lately.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Seraphina sighed.

“I have eight cups of jalapeno coconut flavored coffee,” Rhonda said. “This stuff expired a few days ago, but somebody bought it, so we’re using it! The first cup goes to Riley.”

Riley, still eating chocolate scorpions, caught her cup and dunked a scorpion inside. “Meh, not bad.”

“The next cups go to Easton…Lita and…Pascal.”

The three caught their cups, with Pascal pouring his out in a near plant, which immediately shriveled up and died.

"Ness, Seraphina and Griswold.”

The three caught their cups.

“And the last coffee cup goes to…”
























“…Ignacio. Zipporah, you’re done.”

"What!” Zipporah yelled. “Why the hell did you vote me off? I didn’t do anything!”

“That’s kind of why,” Ignacio said.

“I did the challenges,” Zipporah retorted.

“Yeah but everyone else tries in them too,” Lita replied. “Its more because...well..."

“Because of your attitude,” Griswold clarified. “You’re always making negative or sarcastic comments. It brings everybody down and we need positive attitudes to stay winning.”

“To be honest I didn’t think you wanted to be here,” Ness admitted. “You always act like you don’t. You complain about the show.”

"We want to," Griswold said. "We like being part of a team. You don't. You never come to meetings, or parties or even eat with us. You act like you don’t like us or this team.”

“I don’t think I’ve even had a conversation with you,” Easton said.

“I don’t actually know your name,” Pascal admitted. “I think its like Estrella or Lana or something.”

"Sorry Z,” Riley spoke up, looking away. “It was a tough call and I didn’t want to vote out a pal…but I’m not positive we’re pals.”

Zipporah sighed. “Whatever. I totally don’t care, I mean this show is super mainstream so I guess its good I’m leaving and stuff.”

“Then leave already!” Jenny yelled.

Zipporah stomped out the Revolving Doors of Shame.

The Fireworks started to leave. Lita stood up but felt an arm on her shoulder. She turned to see it was Griswold.

“Uh…uh…uh…eeek! eeek! eeek!” 

"Are you making dolphin calls?" Lita asked.

“Can Gris Bear talk to you in private for a sec?” Riley translated as she walked away.

“Sure Griswold,” Lita replied. “What’s up honey?”

Griswold gulped as he noticed Lita and him were the only ones in the room. “Um well…you…your..."


Zipporah boarded the Public Transportation of Losers and sulked her way to the back and slumped in the last seat.

“Who cares I was voted out?” Zipporah whispered. “I don’t. It’s not like I was enjoying the hotel or having a good time or anything. I wasn’t."

Zipporah shuffled in her seat and looked out of the window. "I mean, I guess could’ve tried to make friends while I was there. Maybe that would’ve been nice. Whatever…”

The bus doors closed as the bus drove away to parts unknown in the world…

Chapter 8 Sexy and I Snow It[]

That night after elimination, Toby and Jenny walked into their secret headquarters, seeing Rhonda curled into a ball on a rolly chair and muttering to herself.

Toby sighed. “What is causing you to have an existential crisis and reflect on the mistakes of your life this time?”

“The network moved our time slot,” Rhonda wept. “We’re airing at two on Saturdays!”

“They moved us to two p.m.?” Toby asked.

"No,” Rhonda exclaimed. “Two a.m! No one will watch us at that time! That’s a death sentence! We’re as good as cancelled.”

“Well, it was fun,” Jenny said. “Except for all the parts I didn’t like.”

“We...I worked so hard for this!” Rhonda screamed. “Do you know what I had to do to get this job?”

Toby and Jenny groaned. “Not the Canada stories…”

“I had to work for Canadians to get this job!” Rhonda yelled. “I had to have Canadian speaking lessons! Every time we had a box of doughnuts, someone had to explain the life story of Tim Hortons to me and why we have that instead of Dunkin Doughnuts!”

“Your poor, poor child,” Toby said. 

Rhonda fell to the floor sobbing. “Oh god…oh god I’m a failure! Once again I failed to live up to my dreams…”

Toby gritted his teeth and very slowly put his arm on Rhonda’s shoulder. “Come on Rhonda…there has to be something we can do.”

“You’re right,” Rhonda said. “If we’re stealthy, we can change our names and run away to Mexico to-“

“-No, not that,” Toby replied.

“Yeah,” Jenny said. “Me and Toby tried that once before and trust me, it did not work.”

“There must be a way to save the show,” Toby replied. “I'm sure people are streaming it if not watching it on TV. Total Drama has a big fandom.”

“Yeah,” Rhonda sniffled. “Tthe company still wants to hold on to the rights as long as they can, even if only to ensure others can’t make money off it. We just have to prove we’re worth a second season! We’ll cut our budget, we’ll do more product placement, jam in more celebrity cameos…whatever it takes.”

“Really?” Jenny asked. “Because I have a few ideas…”

“What did you have mind?” Rhonda sighed.

Jenny smirked. “Lots of things.”

“We did get people talking with your idea about Aiden before,” Rhonda admitted.

“Have I ever let you down before?” Jenny asked.

“Every second of every day since I first met you,” Toby replied.

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny yelled.

“Alright Jenny we’ll try it,” Rhonda stated. “Do you have plan?”

“A duh!” Jenny replied. “It’ll just take a while…”


At the same time, Lita had thrown open the door to her room. 

“I was getting worried when you didn’t comeback,” Ness said. “I know it's silly but…this hotel just gives me the heebie jeebies. You okay Lita?”

Lita hummed and twirled into the bathroom. “I’m more than okay; I’m wonderful. Girls…it happened!”

“Your time of the month?” Seraphina asked.

“No I start next week,” Lita said. “I just got asked out on date!”

Ness gasped and hugged Lita. “That’s so exciting!”

“Whose the lucky lad?” Seraphina said.

Lita smiled as she started to brush her hair. “Griswold; he’s such a sweetheart.”

“Gris?” Ness asked. “I know you thought he was cute, but you’ve never really talked about him. I didn’t know you liked him.”

“Why wouldn’t I love Griswold?” Lita asked. “I mean he’s funny, handsome, kind…honest. Everything you’d want in someone.”

Seraphina looked down. “Yeah...”

“I’m a little jealous,” Ness admitted. “But so happy! What should we call you guys; Grista or Litwold?”

“I'm happy with whatever,” Lita admitted. “You know if I can find someone here, you two can definitely find someone.”


“I’d always heard stories of people meeting on reality shows,” Lita said. “They hang out, fall in love, date and end up getting married…like they found their soulmate. I thought if I joined maybe I’d find someone …and it actually happened! That feeling when you find someone to love, it just feels so great, like I could do anything.” 


“Yeah…someone honest,” Seraphina whispered. 

“Don’t close your heart!” 

“Seraphina!” Ness screamed as the psychic fell to the floor.

Ness and Lita grabbed Seraphina and brought her to the bed. 

Lita ran her head over her forehead. “Doesn't feel like a fever…but we need to call first aid anyway.”

“I’m fine,” Seraphina said. “Just had a tired spell for a second.”

“Don’t give me that honey,” Lita said. 

“Really I’m fine,” Seraphina insisted. 

“Is it… your powers?” Ness asked. 

Seraphina looked away. “Yeah…they’ve been crazy lately. I think it's this place…they act up a lot here.”

“If its spirits talking to you,” Ness said, “then I guess hotel must have a strong connection with them…or just a lot of ghosts.”

Lita shivered and hugged Seraphina. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

“You mean besides giving me a room and putting up with me?” Seraphina said.

Ness laid next to Seraphina on the right. “You’re not a burden Seraphina; we’re glad we're roomies and friends.”

“Then that’s all I need,” Seraphina replied. 


Meanwhile in another room, Pascal was pacing on the floor while Kalino played games on an old Gamecube. 

“I can’t believe they voted off the goth tonight!” Pascal exclaimed. “The goth is never suppose to go home this early." 

“Who did you vote for again?” Kalino asked.

Ignacio,” Pascal replied.

“Why?” Kalino asked.

“The hot guy always usually gets out around this time,” Pascal replied. “I hadn’t really heard anything, so I assumed that was the plan! It makes more sense than getting rid of the goth!”

“Mannnnnnnnnnn,” Kalino said, “are you telling me you’re surprised your team voted off someone who never talked to them and hated everything?” 

Pascal stared. “When you put it like that....”

Kalino shrugged. “Woahhhhhhh, do I get Vivian this chapter?”

Pascal slumped into his bed. “At least things can’t get any worse.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Kalino replied…


Early that next morning, many of the newbies gathered in the dining hall. Melissa was in the kitchen making everyone pancakes. Tiptoeing out of the kitchen, she laid a plate in front of Aiden, who sat across from Hayden

Melissa kissed Aiden on the cheek. “Good morning my little shmoopy puppykins.” 

Aiden turned red. “Good morning Melissa. Gee wilkers, this breakfast sure looks scrumptious…”

Aiden looked down at the heart shape pancakes with a smiley face made out of berries. 

Hayden giggled. “You two are adorable, glad it finally happened.”

Aiden and Melissa blushed. “Yeah…”

Melissa turned back to kitchen, but not before Aiden kissed her on the cheek in return. 


At a nearby table, Frannie  sat alone. 

“Care to share a meal?” Kalino asked as he gave her a plate of heart pancakes. 

“I’m not that hungry,” Frannie said. “You’re up earlier than usual.”

“I’ll take a siesta in the afternoon,” Kalino replied. “I uh... wanted to start my day off with you.”

Frannie blushed. “Thanks. Hey I was thinking...who are we planning on voting off if we lose?”

Kalino shrugged. “Whoever is the most convenient at the time. I think our alliance needs more people to have fire power though. Do you think you can get Melissa and Cynthia on board?” 

“I don’t know,” Frannie said. “I don’t really talk to them anymore.”

“Really?” Kalino asked. “Why not?” 

Frannie shifted her eyes. “I’ve figured out how Diamonique went home.”

Kalino gulped. “Really?”

“Melissa and or Cynthia voted her off!” Frannie replied. “I mean we had ten people; you, me, Diamonique, Melissa and Cynthia. That would make half of the votes; Diamonique and Aiden would be tied.”

“I actually never about about that before,” Kalino said, “According to Pascal when the votes were tied in the original, there was a tiebreaker challenge.”

Frannie nodded. “That’s the rumor going around. But there wasn’t a tiebreaker, so one of them had to flip more than a sandal wearing dolphin! I mean Diamonique didn’t vote herself off. I didn’t vote for her. I know you wouldn’t vote her off Kalino; you’re the most trustworthy person here.”

Kalino looked down. “Yup, I sure am worthy of trust... Sorry to bring this all up Fran The Man.”

“Nah, we need to plan ahead if we don’t want to end up getting a kick to our keisters,” Frannie said. “I just wish I could make it up to Diamonique. And watching Aiden so happy with Melissa...it was suppose to be Diamonique here.”

I’m not one for revenge or anything,” Kalino said, “but maybe at the next vote we should teach them how it feels to lose a friend…”


Later, Ignacio was walking down the hallways when…

“You jerk!” a girl screamed, as Vance dodged a vase she hurled. “It's bad enough to schedule a date as the same time as ours, but with my sister?”

“How in Sam Hill was I suppose to know that was your sister?” Vance shouted.

A girl identical to the other stepped out of his room. “We’re twins you nitwit!” 

“What can I say?” Vance replied while tugging at his collar. “You’re just as hot as billy goat’s ass in a paper patch.”

The girls hissed and chased after the cowboy. Vance ran beside Ignacio and shoved him into the girls before ducking into a doorway. 

Ignacio blushed as he landed on top of the twin girls and brought them to the floor. 

The twins smirked. “Oh...hello there.” 

Ignacio jumped up. “I...my fault...no...I…”

The twin girls stepped towards Ignacio. “You ever been with twins before?” 

Ignacio gulped and bolted with the girls chasing after him. “Why does this always happen to me.” 

Inside a room, Vance sighed. “I think I lost them.”

Xidorn raised an eyebrow. “They must have been pretty scary.”

Vance jumped. “What are you doing here?”

“This is my room,” Xidorn replied. “And from what I heard, I take it you're hiding from a bad date?”

“Dates,” Vance corrected. 

“Well, I’m happy to hide you,” Xidorn said. “Griswold’s gone out for his date with Lita.”

Vance snapped his fingers. “Shucks. I guess I’ll let the mountain man date her; she’s not really my type.”

“Because she beat you in a fight?” Xidorn asked.

Pssh, of course not,” Vance gawked. “I let her win obviously, didn’t want to hit a girl. If I wanted her, I’d have. Ain’t no creature I can’t tame.”

Xidorn shrugged. “If you say so. Hey, did you ever figure out that issue with the book about tracking?”

“Uh...of course I did!” Vance replied. 

“Oh,” Xidorn said, “I was reading up on how to track and trap animals if you need any help.”

“Really?” Vance asked.

“To be honest,” Xidorn said, “I figured you need more than one person if it's a big animal.”

“Well uh...I obviously don’t need help,” Vance said. “I mean I’ve captured animals on the farm since I was a midget. But you know if you really want to see a pro show you how it's done, I’d be happy to.”

“Sure,” Xidorn said. “I don’t have anything else going on right now.”

“Uh, well I’m hankering for some lunch actually,” Vance said. “So it’ll have to be another time. Like I said, I ride alone.”

Xidorn shrugged. “Alright. Good luck on the dusty road ‘partner’.”

Vance opened the door but stopped. “But I mean...if you want a few quick tips on tracking, you can come with me.”

Xidorn jumped up. “To be honest I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”

“It’s not as great as you’d think,” Vance replied. “Trust me.” 


Later, Easton tiptoed into the kitchen, shifting his eyes to make sure he was unseen. He came into the serving hatch, where Melissa was stirring a bowl of marshmallow fluff.

“Good afternoon Easton,” Melissa greeted. “I was just making marshmallow bunny treats. Would you care for one?”

“Bunnies?” Easton asked.

Melissa nodded. “I love bunnies! I find fluffiness therapeutic. That’s why I love kitties too, and koalas and puppies and ducklings…Ooh! Maybe I should make a zoo of little marshmallow baby animals.”

“Before you do that,” Easton continued, “I wanted to ask you a question.”

“It’d be my pleasure to answer it,” Melissa replied.

“You room with Cynthia,” Easton said. “What’s she like?”

“Cynthia is a dear!” Melissa replied.

Easton raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Melissa smiled. “She’s really great at listening and helping with problems. And she’s so driven too. Why?”

“Don’t tell my brother,” Easton whispered. “But he said Cynthia is his best friend. I wanted to make sure he’s okay; he’s not getting in with the wrong crowd…or worse. Have you seen them hanging out?”

“Oh dear, Cynthia’s never mentioned it,” Melissa admitted. “We usually hang out together, but she is quiet and goes by herself a lot…I suppose she could meet Weston…”

“I don’t know it,” Easton said. “It seemed silly, but Cynthia doesn’t seem like the type of person to want to hang out with Weston…or anyone.”

“You think?” Melissa asked.

Easton nodded. “I’m trusting you here Melissa, so please keep me updated if you notice anything. And please don’t tell anyone…my team couldn’t do that for me the last time.”

“I promise,” Melissa replied.

Easton tiptoed away as Melissa looked down at her marshmallow fluff, which she accidentally spilled on the counter.


“I never thought about it before,” Melissa admitted. “But, could I have forced Cynthia into being my friend? I thought she was alone and needed a friend, but what if just been annoying her? What if she doesn’t want me around, but is too nice or afraid to say something? That couldn’t be true…right?”


Griswold ran up to the others, with Lita trailing behind. “You guys will never guess who we met at our date at the mall!”

Riley smirked. “Date? How’d it go lovebirds?”

“Wonderful,” Lita sighed.

Griswold blushed. “Yeah it was awesome…”

“Wait, what’s this about meeting someone?” Ignacio asked.

“Oh yeah, is Pascal around?” Griswold asked.

“He’s over there by the painting with the moving eyes,” Seraphina stated, pointing to Pascal chatting with Ness. “Why?”

“We have a surprise for him,” Griswold explained.

“…So there I was on the motorcycle,” Pascal explained. “When out of nowhere this giant chicken-“

A deep laugh rang out, sounding simultaneously like snorting and wheezing.

Pascal froze. “No.”

“What’s wrong?” Ness asked.

“Pascy-Wascy…”

“Dear god…it can’t be…”

Pascal felt deep breathing on his neck as he turned around to see a short girl standing behind him. She wore a red sweater and thick-framed glasses on her potato like nose, with her black hair in a messy bun.

“Amanda Pickelstein,” Pascal whispers to himself.

The girl tackled Pascal to the ground. “Oh my god, Pascal! It’s me Mandy, Amanda Picklestein? Remember? Huh? Remember? Remember, Remember, we met on that reality show and become best friends and we were in the finale and I beat you and I won a hundred thousand dollars? Remember that? That was so long ago I remember it like it was yesterday! Do you remember?”

Pascal’s eye twitched as he forced a smile. “How could I forget?”

I’m like so excited to see you!” Mandy went on. “It’s been so so so so so so so so long, like since the show ended! I know we promised to hang out, so I tried texting, and calling and emailing and using a carrier pigeon to contact you! But I never heard a reply? Isn’t that crazy? So so so...”

“Well I’ve just been busying touring and…” Pascal said.

“…I even went to all your concerts to try and see you but I could never get backstage? Isn’t that crazy? I think its crazy! I heard about you being on this show in Washington, which is so crazy, and I always wanted to see Mt. Rushmore and Yosemite Park and I thought maybe by fate (or destiny), I’d run into you! And I met your cute friends and they brought me here and now I’m talking to you! Isn’t that crazy? So how are you Pascy-Wascy, having a good time? You look good (your body still looks totally able to make babies) and OHMYGOD you’re wearing the hat I gave you! Isn’t that crazy? Have you made lots of friends? Ibetyou’vemadelotsoffriendslikehowwebecomefriendsremember, RememberwhenIpeedintheriverwhenwewereattherivetheoneontheshowisn’tthatcrazyblahblahblablah….

“Ahem,” Ness coughed. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting…her.”

Pascal turned around. “Oh yes, where are my manners. Ness this is Amanda Pickelestien; Pickelstein this is my good friend Ness.”

“You can call me Mandy,” Mandy wheeze-snorted.

Seraphina jumped in front of Mandy and shook her hand. “So nice to meet you Mandy! Pascal is always talking about you, always telling stories about you.”

“Really?” Mandy asked. “Oh Pascy-Wascy!”

Pascal grabbed Mandy’s shoulders and pushed her towards the door. “It was so great seeing you Mandy, but we’ve got a challenge coming up and I know you’re busying being in first place so-“

“-Oh,” Mandy said, “yeah you’re probably super busy with this new show and new experiences and new friends; I wouldn’t want to intrude. I’ll just be going…”

“Wait,” Seraphina stated. “I could not live with myself if I let you leave now. I think I speak for the whole team when I say, we’d love to have Mandy around.”

“The more the merrier!” Griswold stated as the others nodded.

“Really?” Mandy asked.

“But wait,” Ness said, “um…well you probably can’t stay in the city for too long, can you Mandy?”

“Oh yeah,” Mandy stated, “My hotel reservation ends today. I have to catch a flight home tonight.”

Pascal snapped his fingers. “Aw darn…oh well, nice knowing you Amanda!”

“Now wait,” Seraphina said, “I mean the thought of you and Mandy reuniting just brings me joy, Pascal!”

Pascal’s eye twitched. “It would, wouldn’t it?”

Seraphina smiled and nodded. “Now if only there was a place Mandy could stay; maybe something close by, with a bed…like a hotel…”

“WE’RE IN A HOTEL!” Mandy exclaimed.

“Oh yeah, we are in a hotel,” Seraphina ‘gasped’.

“Why don’t you stay here Mandy?” Griswold asked. “There are plenty of rooms.”

“I don’t think Rhonda would allow that,” Pascal said.

Thirty seconds later…

“I don’t know if I can allow that,” Rhonda stated. “I mean I can’t give away rooms willy nilly.”

Pascal exhaled.

“Not even for a celebrity?” Seraphina said. “I mean I’m sure Mandy would do cameos for the show in exchange for a room.”

Rhonda gasped. “Celebrity cameos!”

Thirty more seconds later…

“Here’s your room key Mandy!” Rhonda stated. “Right across from Pascal’s room!”

“YAY!” Mandy cheered.

“Yay,” Seraphina laughed.

“Yay…” Pascal cried.

“Yay.” Ness gritted. 


“Am I mad that Amanda Picklestein has followed me here just so she can stop me from winning this show, the show I’ve dreamed about winning since I was young?” Pascal asked. “And by doing so would crush all of my dreams and once again lord over me that she’s a winner? Hardly! Ha. Where would you get that idea?”


“I’m probably overreacting,” Ness said. “I mean sure Amanda and Pascal were close before, but that doesn’t mean they’re interested in other, right?. It's not like I have a chance with Pascal anyway.”


That night, Xidorn was up watching movies as usual.

“Hey,” Seraphina said. “Mind if I join you?”

“Of course not,” Xidorn replied. “I’m just watching Space Bigfoot 5: Revenge of The Loch Ness Monster.”

Seraphina sat next to Xidorn on the couch. “The best one.”

“Right?” Xidorn said. “I mean the camerawork is underrated.”

Seraphina giggled. “So listen…is there anyway I can still see the Invaders remake with you?”

“I’m actually going to go see it Sunday with Vance,” Xidorn admitted.

“Oh…” Seraphina said. “You and Vance are close?”

“We’ve actually gotten friendlier,” Xidorn stated. “But I don’t have plans for Saturday, if you want to go to a midnight premiere?”

“Yeah, I’d love to!” Seraphina replied.

“I thought you weren’t big on theatres?” Xidorn stated.

“I’m not,” Seraphina said, “But I’ve been thinking and …I’ve never really wanted to be close to people; I felt people hated me for being a psychic, or use me for my abilities, so it’d be better to be alone. I mean no one could understand what I was going through, what I saw, so what's the point in trying to get close to people?

"But being on this show...I realize I do want people in my life. So what if there are other people in theatres; all that matters is someone I like is there. I like you Xidorn, and I don’t want to pass up the chance to know you or...be with you.. ”

Xidorn smiled. "I like you too Seraphina, a lot. I love spending time with you, talking to you...The truth is I've had a crush on you since you beat me in the first challenge. Do you want to make that movie...a date?" 

Seraphina blushed. "I've never dated anyone...but I want to. Let's make it a date!" 

The two leaned in close, before Xidorn pulled back and let go of Seraphina's hands. “Seraphina, you know...I’m transgender.”

“Yeah, so what?” Seraphina asked, holding his hands again. "You're also honest, kind...and have 'great' hair." 

Xidorn laughed. “You’re amazing.”

The two leaned into and kissed. 

Screech!

“Ooh, Space Bigfoot and Robbie Nessie Jr. are fighting!” Xidorn exclaimed.

“This is the best part,” Seraphina said. 

The two quickly kissed, then turned back to the TV screen, still holding hands…


That afternoon, Hayden had gathered most of the Eagles together for lunch and a ‘daily’ check up on their mental health. Kalino strolled in and rested his head on the table.

“There you are Kalino,” Hayden said. “I was getting worried buddy.” 

“Mannnnn I was just enjoying a nap,” Kalino said. “Not sure why we have these team check ups now.”

“To make sure this show isn’t taking a toll physically or psychologically,” Hayden stated. “You know sleeping all day isn’t good for your health.”

“Its not healthy to worry so much dude,” Kalino replied.

“I’m just concerned little guy,” Hayden said. “You are a lot smarter than you seem Kalino; I’ve recognized that. I think you should recognize that as well.”

Kalino raised an eyebrow. “If you say so.”

Hayden put his hand on Kalino’s shoulder. “You have tons of potential. If you pushed yourself and worked harder you could accomplish a lot with your life.”

Kalino removed Hayden’s hand and stood up. “Thanks for the advice mom, but I’m good.”

Kalino walked off, with Frannie following him soon after.

“What did I say?” Hayden asked.


Soon, Frannie found Kalino meditating in the library and sat down next him.

“Are you okay?” Frannie asked.

“People like that just annoy me,” Kalino admitted. “I mean why should I be trying harder; pushing myself harder and harder…for what? Stress and unhappiness? Never feeling satisfied? Always telling myself I have to try harder? Always waiting for that moment I feel my life’s choices were validated, when I feel all the misery was worth it? That’s not living. That’s not what I want for my life.”

Frannie rested her head on Kalino’s shoulder.

“Sorry Fran I didn’t mean to get worked up,” Kalino replied. “But dude should just mind his own business, let me.”

“Kalino, what do you want for your life?” Frannie asked. “Not to be too personal…but you never say what…”

Kalino shrugged. “I…I don’t know…I guess all I want is a carefree life. But the only people who could do that are the mega super rich.”

“If only we were rich,” Frannie sighed. “Then we’d have no problems.”

“I’ve been thinking,” Kalino stated. “We’re in an alliance but there is nobody who I want in the Final 2 more than you. So let’s make a deal.”

“A deal?” Frannie asked.

“We both have things we need with the money,” Kalino said. “So if one of us wins, we split it; a million for each of us.”

“You’d be willing to share the prize money with me?” Frannie asked.

“A million sounds like plenty to live off,” Kalino replied. “More important, you need the money to keep your circus open. A place that spreads laughter and cheer shouldn’t close down mannnnnnnn.”

Frannie glomped Kalino. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Let’s do it. Let’s be the final two!”


In the mess hall, the Fireworks were talking amongst themselves. Pascal, with bags under his eyes, slumped into a seat. 

“Are you alright Pascal?” Ness asked. 

“Uhh...I’m just a teeny weeny bit exhausted,” Pascal replied. “Amanda Picklestein has worn me out.”

Ness frowned. 

“I still can’t believe we met a famous reality show contestant like her,” Griswold said. 

Pascal glared. 

“Hey dudes,” Riley stated, “is anyone else seeing that outside the window?”

Everyone turned to see snow falling outside. Rushing towards the window, The Fireworks could see everywhere, from the buildings to the fire hydrants to the gargoyle statues, was coated in snow. 

Ness gasped. “It’s a Winter Wonderland! Like a…Christmas miracle!”

“It’s not Christmas,” Seraphina pointed out.

“What about the tradition of Christmas in July?” Griswold asked.

“It’s still June Gris,” Seraphina replied. “I’m not saying it isn’t a miracle, but Christmas? It’s probably a…”

“All contestants report to the lobby!” Rhonda announced.

“…challenge.”


The teams gathered in the lobby, where Rhonda, Jenny and Toby wore hideous sweaters.

“As you’ve probably noticed the weather is a bit mixed up,” Rhonda stated. “But the challenge isn’t snowed out; its snowed in!”

“What does that even mean?” Ignacio asked.

“It means today is a snow themed challenge okay!” Rhonda shouted. “Here, take some snow jackets.”

The Eagles received blue jackets, while the Fireworks received red jackets.

“Toby fixed up some old wood chippers and paper shredders into snow machines,” Rhonda explained. “With these and a lot of old AC units and fans, we’ve closed the block and turned this place into a winter wonderland.”

“You made it snow in summer Tobdog?” Riley asked. “Nice bro!”

Toby and Riley pound fists.

Rhonda raised her eyebrow. “Ahem, if I may finish. For this challenge we need each team to pick a leader, who will have to make decisions for this challenge.”

“I’ll take charge,” Hayden stated, stepping forward. “I am the oldest.”

“And the biggest weenie,” Frannie whispered to Kalino.

“Good choice Eagles,” Jenny praised.

“Who's going to go for us?” Griswold asked.

“My votes for you Teddy Broosevelt,” Riley said.

“Me?” Griswold asked. “You think I should be the leader?”

“You are the most perfect choice,” Lita swooned.

“I’d trust you to do an amazing job,” Easton stated as he patted his back.

“Okay,” Griswold gulped. “Then I guess I’ll do it.”


“I’m a lineman in football,” Griswold stated. “My job is to be a wall. The quarterback is sort of the head honcho. I’ve never really been a leader before. But I guess it’s worth a shot…”


Griswold and Hayden followed Jenny and Toby into another room.

“The two of them will make decisions such as about your snow fort,” Rhonda stated. “A snow fort you’ll use in today's’ classic challenge; capture the flag! Simply steal the other team’s flag and place it in your fort. However, we only have a few hours to do this before Washington shuts us down. If time is up and we don’t have a winner, whoever flag is farthest away loses.”


Eventually the teams were driven by Jenny or Toby in pickup truck. The snow machines shot out flurries of snow and made Washington seem like it was in a snowstorm.

“I can’t even say my hand in front of my face!” Weston exclaimed as Jenny dropped off the Eagles outside a castle made of snow. Hayden waited outside and rushed in after his teammates. 

“I’ve been debriefed on the challenge,” Hayden said. “Likewise, I’ve chosen the location of our snow fort in the perimeters of the challenge; we’re as far south as you can get, against the wall.”

“So where are the Fireworks?” Aiden asked.

“Each of us was privately shown a map and had to decide our fort’s location on the map,” Hayden replied. “The Fireworks’ fortress could be anywhere on that map, a straight path from this wall to another.”

“So it's like a needle in a haystack,” Vance said. 

“Not quite,” Hayden said. “These forts are huge! The Fireworks are just as blind as us in this snowstorm; we’ll see their fort before the Fireworks see us in the snow.”

“Doesn’t that mean the same thing happens when they come to our fort?” Weston asked. 

Hayden nodded. “True, but our castle’s location is why we have a time advantage.”

“Oh golly I get it!” Aiden exclaimed. “Given our location, we just have to go in one direction, north, and we’ll eventually run into the fort!”

“Exactly,” Hayden replied. “We’ll split into two groups; a hunting party and someone to keep the castle safe. I’ve chosen for us to have extra ammunition, so we can pelt any intruders.”

Hayden pointed to a huge pile of pre-made snowballs. 

“Everyone needs to have a partner and stay with them at all times,” Hayden stated. 

“But we’re already in two groups,” Vance said. 

“The buddy system never fails!” Hayden exclaimed. “It’ll keep us safe, especially if we get separated. As the leader, I’ll be on my own and lead the hunters.”

Melissa smiled. “Well if I can I’d like to go with my friend-”

“-I’ll take Weston,” Cynthia stated. 

“Eee!” Weston squeed, as he jumped into Cynthia’s arms. 

Melissa raised an eyebrow. “Oh, well in that case I’ll go with someone else.”

Aiden grabbed her hand and the two both blushed. 

“To be honest,” Xidorn stated. “Vance and I have been working on tracking, we could help in the hunt.” 

Vance’s eyes grew wide. “Uh…”

“Sounds like a great plan,” Hayden stated. “You two and Weston and...Cynthia will go hunting with me. Your four, stay guard here with snowballs ready.”


At the same time, The Eagles discussed their plans. 

“So that’s the uh basics yeah,” Griswold said. “We were given the choice between ammunition or an extra floor to the fort, so I choose the extra floor for defense. I mean if it comes down to it, it's whose flag is the farthest that loses. We need a strong defense.”

“Nice thinking Gris Bear,” Riley said. “So what’s our game plan?” 

Griswold smiled. “Like I said, we need a strong defense. So me, Lita, Ignacio and Riley will guard the flag, as the most muscular and or biggest fighters. Seraphina, Easton, Pascal and Ness, you’re the fastest or smallest, so you’ll sneak in and steal the flag.”

“Seems like a good enough plan,” Seraphina stated. 

“Before we split,” Griswold said, “I just want you to tell you guys, I know we got this. We’ve had our troubles, but we’re a team and I believe in everyone of us. I think the Eagles have gotten a little too used to be up on top and forget who they’re against. Today, we’ll remind them! Go Fireworks!”

“Go Fireworks!” The team cheered, before departing. 

“Griswold if I may propose a suggestion?” Ignacio asked. 

“Sure brah, what’s up?” Griswold asked. 

“I was thinking we should try and create a barricade out of snow around the door,” Ignacio stated. “We can compact the snow outside for use.”

“Nice!” Griswold said. “It’ll wear them down to push through layers of snow, and gives us a warning. Let’s do it! Hey, you wouldn’t happen to have any ideas on how to make a cannon would you?”

“Cannon?” Ignacio asked.

“I thought it’d be useful to fire snow at the Eagles when they’re outside our gate,” Griswold suggested. “Like with a cannon.”

“I suppose if I had the proper materials, even household objects, I could theoretically create a snowball making and firing mechanism,” Ignacio replied. 

“Dude, go dumpster diving!” Riley suggested. “I bet that could have something useful.”

“That might produce sufficient resources,” Ignacio stated. “I can smell garbage from here. I’d need a hand, but I could do it.”

“Okay,” Griswold said, “Lita do you think you could help Ignacio out?”

Lita winked. “Don’t want me distracting you, huh? Sure, I can help Iggy out.”

Griswold blushed as the two ran out to the trash.


Later, The hunting Eagles were out on patrol, without much luck.

“I’m not picking up any signs anyone’s been this way,” Hayden admitted. “No tracks, nothing moved...just perfectly laid snow.”

“Hey look!” Weston exclaimed. “I found footprints! Right behind us!”

“Those are our footprints you moron,” Vance stated.

Cynthia turned to Vance, who yelped and backed away. 

“I’m not even finding signs of any Fireworks on the move,” Xidorn said. 

“Hey Cynthia,” Weston whispered. “Are you cold?”

“I’m outside in a snowstorm,” Cynthia replied.

“Oh yeah,” Weston replied, “I was just thinking, if you want to be warmer, you can borrow my jacket!” 

“You’ll freeze to death without it,” Cynthia stated. 

“Uh, yeah,” Weston sighed. 

Cynthia pushed herself against Weston. 

Weston blushed. “Hehehe...you okay Cynthia?” 

“We can share body heat like this,” Cynthia stated. “We’ll both stay warm.”

Weston hugged Cynthia. “Sounds like a great plan to me.”


As Griswold and Riley packed the snow, Lita and Ignacio brought in some garbage. 

“Old spoons could scoop some snowballs and ah, some discarded wheels could make a conveyor belt…”

“How are you so scientific?” Lita asked. 

Ignacio blushed yet smiled. “I’ve always had an interest in science since I was little. It’s a marvelous thing, being able to explain the world. Truth is I’ve always wanted to be a science teacher, like for high school. Maybe even a college professor. Doesn’t pay as well at the model bussin-”

“-Don’t talk like that honey,” Lita interrupted. “If it's what you want to do, you need to do it. I bet being professor pays pretty well at the right college.”

“Maybe,” Ignacio said. “But I make more in a month than my father makes in a year. My parents were very poor in Chile, spent their life savings to immigrant here so their kids would have a better life. They don’t speak a lot of English. We’ve been very poor. I guess looks fade...might as well make money while I can.”

“I understand,” Lita replied. “Really family lives in a ghetto. We don’t even own a TV. It use to be real bad but when my brother was born...well that’s not important.” 

“Thanks for understanding Lita,” Ignacio replied. “What about you? What are your plans for your future?” 

“Me?” Lita asked. “I...I guess I always dreamed of getting married, being a housewife, having lots of kids to love and being a good mother.”

“That’s a noble idea,” Ignacio replied. “Raising children is a full-time job. One of the most important jobs there is.”

“It should be,” Lita replied. “Anyway, will this contraption work?” 

Ignacio replied by flinging a snowball at Lita...right in her cleavage. 

Ignacio blushed. “I...I’m not...that aimed for your face, I was looking at your face.”

Lita laughed. “You’re fine. I know you’re not a pervert. Wish you could build something to heat up this place.”

“Well...I suppose I could,” Ignacio said. “It maybe theoretically snowing here, but its still a hot summer’s day. They’re keeping this snow cold with fans, but if we harness the sun’s rays we could melt it.”

“We’d need to reach the sun first,” Lita replied. “Like a really high rooftop…where you could see the whole block, even the other fort!”

“Exactly!” Ignacio replied. “We could build a machine that can melt their fort, which we could see from the roof. Let’s tell Gris our findings and get to it!”


At the Eagles’ fort, the four guards were shoveling in the snow.

“Why are we doing this again?” Frannie asked.

“It’s a trench,” Aiden replied. “I figure it’ll be another obstacle for when the Fireworks come and serve as a warning to start firing.”

“A brilliant plan by sweet boobear,” Melissa stated as she snuggled a blushing Aiden. 

“Just avoid the special snow our ‘guest’ left behind mannnnnnnn,” Kalino stated. 


Another hour or so passed and the Fireworks were still in the snow. 

“I think we’ve been going in circles,” Easton said.

“How can you tell?” Ness asked.

“We’ve passed that old lady on bench five times now,” Easton stated.

“Hello!” a familiar looking old lady greeted from a bench. 

“Oh Pascy Wascy!” a voice called. 

“Not now…” Pascal mumbled.


At the same time in the Fireworks fortress…

“Well that snow should serve as really strong defense,” Riley stated. “You’re a great captain Gris Bear.”

“Aw geez it's nothing,” Griswold replied. “Wouldn’t be doing it without your nomination.”

“Say, why did you choose this location?” Riley asked.


At a nearby roof of a skyscraper, Lita and Ignacio set up mirrors. Using binoculars made from empty soda bottles, Ignacio scanned the city. 

“Do you see the Fireworks’ fortress?” Lita asked.

“Wait a minute…”


The Eagles hunting party stared at a wall with graffiti of Obama and Trump making out. 

“I didn’t know they were a couple,” Weston said. “Good for them!”

“We scoured this whole place for hours and haven’t found a durn thing!” Vance yelled. “I mean where haven’t we looked?”

“To be honest…”


“...Who knows about processed cheese?” Mandy asked. “Oh and can you believe the weather we’re having in Washington? In the summer? A blizzard, and not the one with M&Ms! Isn’t that crazy? I mean I love Dairy Queen-” 

“-It’s part of the challenge,” Pascal stated.

“Ooh!” Mandy said. “That explains those other nice contestants snow bathroom I used earlier.”

“Wait,” Pascal said, “Amanda you went in the Eagle’s snow fort?”

“Do you think you could do us a favor and tell us where you saw it?” Seraphina asked.

“Wouldn’t that be cheating?” Mandy asked.

Pascal smirked. “Rhonda doesn’t have a rule against it.”

“Then no problemo romeo!” Mandy replied. “See, I got lost looking for a bathroom because I ate so much bran cereal this morning, and do you like bran cereal cause there’s are so many varieties of bran cereal, isn’t the crazy? Some with raisins, some with bana-“

“-Mandy,” Seraphina interrupted. “You were telling us about the fort, please.”

“Oh yeah,” Mandy recalled and pointed south. “It’s right against that wall.”

Pascal sighed. “Mandy, our team is the Fireworks, you know that right? Because our fort is against that wall.”

Ness raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think…”


“...See I put it against the wall because we’d have a straight path to the opposite team,” Griswold stated. “Make it easy to find them in this blizzard; a castle would stick out.”

“Well isn’t it strange we’ve heard nothing?” Riley asked. “I mean maybe Lita and Ignacio will see it. I just feel like it's been under our nose…”


...the only place we haven’t been is back to our fort,” Xidorn stated. “Which is against a somewhat lengthy wall.”

Hayden raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think what you’re implying?”

“Think what?” Vance and Weston said in unison.

“The fort could be anywhere on the map,” Cynthia stated. 

Vance and Weston looked at each other and shrugged…


“...Wow,” Lita said, as she looked through the binoculars.

“Yup,” Ignacio replied. 

The camera panned down to show the Fireworks snow fort...then panned out to reveal the Eagles’ fortress is only a few feet away. 

“I’m ashamed of all us,” Ignacio stated. 


Soon, most of the others had figured it out, except maybe Vance and Weston, and were running back to their forts. 

“Let’s tell Griswold and the others what’s up,” Ness suggested. “With our extra floor, we might be able to jump onto their roof, get in their castle and steal their flag!”

“Nice thinking Ness,” Seraphina stated. 

“Really!” Mandy cheered.

“Why are you following us?” Pascal asked. 

“I insisted,” Seraphina said. “I want to give you two as much time as possible to reconnect.” 

Pascal’s eye twitched. “You’re too kind.”


The Fireworks arrived at their fort and the Eagles came soon after. 

“Look!” Xidorn shouted and pointed at a sun beam hitting their fort, which was slowly melting. 

“We’ve got to warn the others,” Hayden said. “I fear this is the Fireworks’ plan. Weston, you and your partner go ahead and start for the flag.”

“They may have the sun,” Weston stated, “but we have something just as strong; a Cynthia.”

Cynthia revved up her chainsaw and stormed the Fireworks’ fortress. 

“Let’s get a getting!” Vance yelled. “Tally hoooooo-ah!”

Vance face planted into the trench. 

“Fire!” Aiden yelled as a barge of snowballs went out. 

“Ahh, what kind a snow is brown!” Vance yelled.

“I told you not to use it brah,” Kalino said. 

“They’re outside!” Riley shouted. “Activate the snow scopper dopper!” 

Ignacio’s contraption went off, firing even more snowballs at the Eagles. 

In the Fireworks fort, Cynthia and Weston were having a hard time breaking through the door, the chainsaw slowing cutting through the snow.

“The barricades working but I don’t know for how long,” Griswold stated. 

“From the window we can swing right through to their roof,” Easton stated. 

“Use two ropes,” Ness said. “Easton you throw me on the first rope.” 

“Why?” Easton asked. 

“I predict my bad luck will cause this to be painful,” Ness said. “But maybe with enough force, I can use that to crash in there and give us an opening.”

“Whatever works,” Easton said. 


On the nearby skyscraper…

“The mirrors aren’t generating enough heat,” Ignacio said. “They aren’t going to melt the fort fast enough.”

“Any ideas on how to make those beams hotter?” Lita asked. 

Ignacio sighed. “Well...I could take off my clothes.”

“Excuse me?” Lita asked. 

“No,” Ignacio stated. “I’m not, I don’t want you to see, not because you’re ugly because you’re very pretty…. I’m not doing it for a thing cause you’d have to take yours...but I don’t wanna see that, I mean I do, I mean I don’t! Not that your...I’m sure naked you’re nice...oh god I just said that…I don’t want to see you nude!”

“Oh,” Lita said turning away. “You want to use your supernatural looks to make it hotter, gotcha. Just say that next time.”

“Right,” Ignacio said as he stood directly in the sunbeam and revealed his abs. The sun bounced off his chest and burst into light.

“Is it working?” Lita asked, facing away.

Ignacio sighed and unzipped his pants. “Not enough…”


Here it goes,” Easton said as he threw Ness on a rope.

“Eep!” Ness exclaimed as the rope snapped on her and she plummeted through the roof, trapping the guarding Eagles under her and the falling snow.

“Super duper amazing job Ness!” Pascal said, as he swung in through the Ness shaped hole in the roof. 

“I try,” Ness coughed. 

Suddenly a burst of light shone out, burning the entire Eagles snow fort. 

Ness and Pascal shrugged. They grabbed the flag and walked over to their fort, placing it in.

The snow stopped falling and Rhonda’s voice rang out. “The Fizzled Fireworks win the challenge! I’ll be see the Eagles to decide the next loser.” 

“It actually worked!” Ignacio cheered, hugging Lita.

“Uh, Ignacio?”

“I’m still nude aren’t I?”

“Yup.”


The Eagles sat in the mess hall. All except Vance, who was absent. 

“I’ve called this meeting to decide who should go home,” Hayden stated. “I figured to make sure we we’re doing what’s best for the team we have a group consensus on the vote.”

“I do enjoy the idea of discussing the vote,” Melissa said. “But I don’t think we all have to the vote the same way. Voting someone is terribly hard for me, I imagine it is for all you as well. Everyone should vote for what they feel is best.”

“Well let’s at least discuss the matter,” Hayden said.

“Where’s Vance?” Frannie asked. 

“Late,” Hayden said. “Fittingly, I think he’s the one that should go. Let’s face it; the guy’s all talk with little follow through. He rubs us all the wrong way, like sandpaper against our skin.”

“He is mean,” Weston admitted. 

“Like heck your clicking my icon tonight!” Vance yelled, stomping in. “You’re just jealous of me, have been since the start."

“I can see you're not what you say you are,” Hayden replied.

Vance stepped back. “Why you...I’ll return the favor to you!” 

“I think we should keep Vance,” Xidorn stated. “I believe we should vote off someone who hurt us in the challenge.”

“Who hurt us in the challenge?” Aiden asked. 

“To be honest,” Xidorn admitted, “you.”

“Me?” Aiden asked. 

“Your trench was the cause of a whole storm of problems at the end of challenge,” Xidorn stated. 

“The trench was a good plan,” Hayden defended. “Unfortunately, we we’re right next to each other and The Fireworks had chosen the higher roof. Aiden couldn’t have known.”

“Could have looked before he fired,” Vance said. 

“You could have looked where you were going ‘cowboy’,” Hayden said. 

“Why you, you know-”

“-Know what?”

“Gee wilkers!”

“What does a joke without much fight in it lack? A good punchline!” 

“Woahhhhhhhhh…”

“Wait, who were our choices?” 

Cynthia stood up and all the Eagles froze.

“Cynthia dear,” Melissa said. “Where are you going?”

“To vote,” Cynthia replied. “I decided who I was voting for along time ago.”


Shortly after, the elimination ceremony began. 

“Long time no see Molting Eagles,” Rhonda stated.

“Don’t you see us at every challenge?” Weston asked.

Rhonda frowned. “Just go cast your votes already.”


Xidorn clicked on Aiden. “To be honest you seem like you’ve become a better person and I commend you for it. You're still the weakest link. I hope you understand.”


Melissa clicked on Vance. “I’m sorry Vance, I don’t think you’re a bad guy. I wish you the best. And again I’m sorry!”


Vance voted for Hayden. “There’s only room for one redhead on this show bucko; me. I understand your jealous, but I can’t help it. I’m certainly not voting for you because I’m afraid you can see through me and who I really am.”


“I hope you all haven’t forgotten how this works,” Rhonda said. “I’ve got eight cups of gingerbread flavored coffee, a nice little refresher after today’s challenge. But there are nine of you. Whoever does not receive a cup, will leave through the Revolving Doors of Shame and board the Public Transportation of Losers.

"The first cup goes to…Xidorn.”

Xidorn nodded as he caught his cup of coffee.

“Cynthia…Weston.”

Weston smiled as both of their names were called together.

“Kalino…Melissa…Frannie…”

The three caught their cups. Melissa grabbed Aiden’s hand.

“And…Vance.”

Aiden and Hayden’s eyes grew wide, as did Vance’s, as he caught his cup.

“Aiden…Hayden…oh my gosh I just realized your names rhyme! Ha, that’s funny. Oh, and one of you is going home. The final cup goes to…”














































“…Aiden. Sorry Hayden.”

“WHAT?” Jenny screamed. “You guys voted off Hayden? He was the only contestant I actually somewhat cared about!”

“You do know we can all hear you right?” Xidorn asked.

“What’s you point?” Jenny asked.

Hayden stood up. “I’m confused…”

“Oh Hayden,” Melissa sighed. 

Aiden sniffled and hugged Hayden. “I don’t understand either, but I’m going to miss you pal.”

“Are you going to be okay?” Hayden asked.

Aiden nodded. “Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah,” Hayden said. “But are you sure you can make it without me?”

“This is a show for teens,” Cynthia said. “Not children who need babysitters. ”

“Hayden blushed and looked down. “Yeah, you’re right. You guys seem to think you’ll do fine without me.”

“No they won’t,” Jenny pouted.

“Thanks Jenny,” Hayden said. “But I guess it’s my time. Good luck you guys, I’m rooting for you.”

Hayden sighed and exited The Revolving Doors of Shame.


“My scalp actually got a sunburn thanks to this challenge,” Kalino stated. “Anyhow, I wanted to say thanks mannnnnn. You made it really easy to vote you off; since you were the leader and we lost, you basically painted a big target on yourself. It wasn’t much effort to convince people; I suspect some were already planning on it.

"Guess you pushed yourself too hard. Just know I’m going to win this show. And I will prove to you, my sister and everyone else how wrong you all are. No matter what it takes.”


Chapter 9 Mall of The Wild[]

Aiden wiped away the tears from his face. 

Melissa hugged him from behind. “I’m sorry he went home honeysuckle buns.”

“I just don’t understand,” Aiden admitted. "Why?" 

The other Molting Eagles sighed, finishing their coffee if they drank it, and left the Internet Cafe. Outside they saw the Fireworks waiting. 

“I’ll be,” Easton said, “they actually voted off Hayden. I thought he was their leader.”

“What are you doing here?” Weston pouted. “Come to gloat?”

Xidorn smiled. “Seraphina! You're early, the Invaders remake doesn’t start for another two hours.”

“Is that why you ran out Seraphina?” Ness asked. 

“Xidorn,” Seraphina sighed and hugged her boyfriend. “Thank goodness you’re safe!”

“Did you think I was going home?” Xidorn asked.

“Kind of,” Seraphina admitted, “We were all hanging out a few hours agos when I got a premonition of you and..I don’t know, it didn’t look good. I just had to check and make sure it wasn’t you tonight.”

“I’m doing great Seraphina,” Xidorn replied. “Especially now that you’re here.” 

Seraphina rolled her eyes but giggled. “You want some wine with that cheese?”

“Hold the phone,” Pascal stated. “Are you two...a thing?”

“Well we-”

“I thought it was obvious,” Xidorn laughed. 

Several of the others gasped. 

“What?” Xidorn asked.

Griswold chuckled. “I’ll be honest, Seraphina never struck me as someone interested dating. Very cute Seraphina!” 

“She told us,” Ness clarified, pointing and her and Lita. “You’re both adorable! Which do you like more, Xidaphina or Seradorn?”

“But she didn’t tell the rest of us,” Pascal reminded. 

“It was just last night when we made it official,” Xidorn stated. 

“I think we all know the real reason Seraphina didn’t tell us,” Pascal stated.

“We do?” Weston asked.

“She didn’t want it to be know she was going against her team,” Pascal explained. “Everyone knows you can’t date when on separate teams.” 

Seraphina gagged. “Oh please. Where is that in the rulebook again?”

“Its common sense,” Pascal stated. “I mean, how can we really really trust you're loyal to us and not the Eagles?”

“Now Seraphina just wants a little sugar in her life,” Lita stated. “Ain't nothing wrong with that.”

“I mean you’d vote her off before one of us, wouldn’t you Xidorn?” Vance asked. 

“I...I don’t think we’ve really thought that far ahead,” Xidorn admitted, looking at Seraphina.

The contestants murmured amongst themselves. 

“Mannnnnnn,” Kalino whispered. 

“I know,” Frannie replied. 

“Pretty please answer the question Xidorn,” Pascal demanded. “If it comes down to it, will you vote out Seraphina?” 

“To be honest,” Xidorn said, “I don’t know. Ideally I’d love to never cast a vote against Seraphina.”

“But you’d be fine writing down an Eagle’s instead,” Pascal exclaimed.

“He never said that,” Seraphina argued. “We’re still in teams, so who cares? You’re just looking for somebody to throw under the bus.”

“We are still in teams,” Pascal said, “but when we aren’t, then what? Would you be complacent in being the deciding vote to send home your sweetheart?”

“I said I don’t know,” Xidorn said. “I vote for whoever I feel needs to go home.”

“I rest my case,” Pascal stated and shook his head, as the others whispered.

Xidorn glared. "Don't think I don't know about you Ratscal." 

Pascal froze. “Who, little ol me?”

“If there’s one person I’d like to vote off it's you,” Xidorn stated.

“Ooh snap,” Frannie whispered, now sharing a bowl of popcorn with Kalino.

“Hey, you’re not on the Fireworks,” Ness defended. 

“That doesn’t seem to stop Pascal from talking about me in front of my team,” Xidorn said.

“This concerns my team,” Pascal stated.

“Enough!” Seraphina shouted. “I’ll end this debate; if it comes to it, Xidorn or I will vote the other off. We won’t like it, but we will. Now we have a movie to go see.”

Seraphina pulled Xidorn away from the crowd as the others whispered this and that. 

Pascal smirked. “Be safe, and have lots of fun you two!”

Seraphina froze and turned around. “I will, thanks. You have fun looking for you missing contact or whatever it is you spend all night searching the hotel for!” 

The contestants turned to look at Pascal, who blushed and shrugged. Seraphina was smirking now as she and Xidorn left. 


Soon after, Melissa and Aiden walked to their rooms.

“It's just me tonight,” Aiden stated. “And from now on.”

“I’m going to miss Hayden too,” Melissa said. “Are you sure you’ll be alright in there?”

Aiden nodded. “I’ll see you in the morning Melissa.”


“I just don’t understand,” Aiden said. “I mean sure Hayden was a little smothering, but he was the bee’s knees! He shouldn’t have gone home...I should have. This just makes me feel...weird. Why would our team do that? I don’t know, but I feel something fishy is going on…”


“I’m not too shocked Hayden went home,” Melissa admitted. “I thought he was really sweet, but it's clear not everyone thought the same. I don’t hold it against anyone. Voting someone off is so hard; it's ending somebody’s hopes and dreams in a way. I’m still not use to the idea, so I won’t judge anyone for having to make such a hard choice. I am somewhat hurt no one talked about with me, especially…”


“...Cynthia,” Melissa stated as she entered her room, her roommate sharpening her knives. 

“I’m sorry Hayden went home,” Cynthia said.

“I understand why,” Melissa said. “I just wish you would have told me.”

“I didn’t want you to get upset,” Cynthia stated. 

Melissa nodded but didn’t say anything. 


In the early hours of the morning, Seraphina and Xidorn we’re walking the streets. 

“I can’t believe it!” Xidorn stated. “The Invaders are now being incorporated into the Space Wars cinematic universe! I don’t know if love this or hate it.”

“Uh huh,” Seraphina replied. 

“What’s bothering you?” Xidorn said. “And don’t say you’re tired, I won’t buy it.”

“That stupid premonition!” Seraphina groaned. “I thought you might be in trouble...but I think I was seeing the trouble I’ve gotten you in now.”

“I’m sure this will blow over,” Xidorn said. 

“Don’t tell me you aren’t worried,” Seraphina stated. 

“It's put a little pressure on me,” Xidorn admitted. “I’m more worried about you being on the same team as that rat. But I haven’t done anything worthy of going home.”

“Others have gone home for less,” Seraphina said.

“Yeah,” Xidorn replied. “Did you mean what you said, about us voting each other off?”

Seraphina shrugged. “I don’t want to. But at some point we’ll have no choice but to vote off our closest friends. That’s how this show is designed.”

Xidorn nodded and sighed.

Seraphina grabbed Xidorn’s hand. “But I don’t regret this at all. I had fun tonight. I really am glad I met you.” 

Seraphina kissed Xidorn’s cheek, who returned the favor. The two went up to their floor. 

“You not going to bed?” Xidorn asked. 

“I’m just not tired yet,” Seraphina said. “I think I want to go for a little walk around here.”

“In a death trap made by a serial killer after midnight?” Xidorn asked. “You want me to walk with you?”

“No, you go ahead,” Seraphina said. “I’ll be fine.”

“Goodnight,” Xidorn replied. 

Seraphina smiled. “Goodnight.”

As soon as Xidorn closed his door, Seraphina sighed. “I’m not letting you go home for my mistake Xidorn. No matter what, I’ll find someway to make sure you don’t go home. The best idea right now is to see if I can find the Eagles’ immunity flash drive…”


At the same time in Kalino and Pascal’s room, the two had gathered Frannie and Vance.

“Why are we having this here meeting again?” Vance asked.

“I want to make sure you guys now that Frannie is officially a member of this alliance,” Kalino stated. “And all that who blah.”

Frannie waved. “It’s cool to be here! Right Ziba?”

Her little lemur nodded and yawned. 

“And remember this is a secret alliance,” Pascal said. “So don’t tell anyone about this meeting.”

“Especially because you just made a big deal about inter-team interactions and if people find out this would make you a huge target and a hypocrite?” Frannie asked. 

Pascal forced a smile. “Hehe, kinda of...” 

“My lips are sealed tighter than a childproof lock,” Frannie replied. "Loose lips sink ships and all that who blah."

“Anyone have any updates on how things are going?” Pascal asked. “It seems Hayden was eliminated.” 

“It’s whateverrrrrrr,” Kalino yawned. “I do think we need more peopleeeeeee.”

“We got Frannie and Ziba,” Vance said. “That’s like a human person and an animal person!” 


Ziba shrugged in the confessional.


“While I do fill the role of the token female,” Frannie said. “I don’t think I’m enough. I mean it's three of us on one team, with five others.”

“Three is smaller than five,” Kalino stated. “Its also smaller than a lot of numbers.”

“Well durn if we want more people,” Vance said, “let’s get Xidorn to join us!”

“Are you kidding?” Pascal said. 

“Do I look like I’m pulling your leg partner?” Vance asked.

“It’s hard to get a read on your face under that mustache,” Frannie admitted. 

“Xidorn is actually a really cool guy,” Vance stated. “I think I might make him my deputy.”

“He said he’d vote me off!” Pascal stated. 

“Is that a problem?” Vance asked. 

“Xidorn is a nice guy Vance,” Kalino said. “But the guy hasn’t told a lie since the third grade; he couldn’t keep this a secret. This has to stay a secret.” 

“Hmph,” Vance pouted. “Kalino gets to invite his friend....”

“I think this meeting will have to continue later,” Pascal sighed. “We could all use some sleep.”

Frannie yawned. “I always hate sleeping; you could say I’m getting tired of it.” 

Only Kalino laughed as Frannie left. Vance followed, slamming the door behind him. 

“How are you going to survive with those two?” Pascal asked.

“I’d be more worried about you,” Kalino stated. “Seraphina called you out mannnnn.”

“I know,” Pascal cried. “I thought I’d finally found a reason to get rid of That’s So Raven, but I doubt the others would go for it. Everyone’s too good of friends with each other, while I have no allies. What am I going to do?!?”

“Hmm,” Kalino pondered, “there is one thing I can think of...nah, that’s lame.”

Pascal jumped on Kalino’s lap. “What is it?”

“Who are people more loyal to then even their friends?” Kalino asked. 

Pascal raised an eyebrow. “Like adopting kids?”

“Maybe save that plan for the merge,” Kalino replied. “I mean what is basically an automatic alliance?”

“Wait, you mean form a relationship?” Pascal asked. “Like, dating someone?” 

Kalino shrugged. “Someone will be loyal to you then. Plus you wouldn’t be out of place here; you notice everybody’s been shacking up recently?” 

“But I don’t like anyone here,” Pascal stated. “And I don’t know, dating someone just for a vote...that’s super duper extra super low.”

“I didn’t say it was a good idea,” Kalino answered. “Or that I condone it. Its just the only idea I have.”

“Even if theoretically I date someone from my team,” Pascal said. “Who would I date?”

Kalino raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Ness blushed deep red and hyperventilated. “Well…we all tried our best. But thanks Pascal, it means a lot, since you are so hot…a musician.”

“Hmm…”

Ness giggled. “You tell the best stories Pascal, tell me again about you solved the puzzle and saved your team.”

Who…”

“He’s over there by the painting with the moving eyes,” Seraphina stated, pointing to Pascal chatting with Ness.

Ness.

NESS

“Nope,” Pascal stated. “Don’t have any clue who it could be.”

Kalino just shook his head. 


Eventually the sun rose. Morning began and soon went into the afternoon. Using the secret passage, Melissa entered the kitchen and started baking cakes quietly. 

“Shh...right there…”

Melissa raised her head. “Hello? Is someone there?”

Melissa looked through the hatch and saw a TV sitting on a cart.

The TV turned on and showed ‘Aiden’. “I do have a problem with Muslims...Melissa...she’s actually been teaching me about the Quran...I don’t understand or believe everything in it and...I’ll be the first to admit...has a lot of mistakes. “

Melissa sniffled. “That’s not true. I’ve got to find Aiden.”

At the moment, many of the other contestants rushed in for their lunch. Easton and Weston gave each a glare as they pushed through opposite doors. Behind them was…

“Aiden!” Melissa called and ran.

“Melissa?” Aiden said as she tackled him. “Are you already sweetie?”

“Oh that TV,” Melissa said and pointed. “You were on it and you said...you said you had problem with Muslims and the Quran…”

“TV?” Weston asked. 

“What?” Aiden asked. “That’s a lie! I mean, I did have problems, but I didn’t voice it, especially like that. You’ve been teaching me about the Quran and I don’t necessarily agree with, but I respect it. And I respect you.” 

“I knew it wasn’t true!” Melissa cheered. 

Aiden hugged Melissa. “Thanks for believing in me Melissa.”

“Of course doodlebug,” Melissa replied. 

“Wait, then who said all this stuff?” Riley asked. 

“I’d like to know that too,” Aiden stated.

Everyone turned to the TV cart, where Jenny and Toby stood. “Eep.”

“Ms. Jenny and Mr. Toby,” Melissa gasped. “How could you?” 

“We’ve been spotted!” Jenny cried. A trap door opened up underneath the co-hosts, who fell through on the TV cart.

“Wow,” Weston said. “That TV was the same one I saw Easton on.”

“What?” Easton asked. “What did you see?”

“What you said about me…” Weston replied.

“What you heard was probably those two’s tricks dude,” Riley said. “They probably edited footage together.”

“You mean to tell me you started this whole argument over some fake crap they made?” Easton asked. 

“Fake?” Weston shouted. “The scholarship wasn’t fake! As far as I can tell, you still said those things about me, about how you really feel!”

“Woah bros,” Riley said jumping in the middle of the twins. “Now hold the phone; this whole argument has just been a misunderstanding. Doesn’t that mean we can move past all this?”

“Hmph,” Weston said. “I don’t think that changes anything.”

“I agree,” Easton replied as both twins stormed off in opposite directions. 

Melissa looked on as she noticed Cynthia head in the same direction as Weston. 

Riley shook her head and headed back towards the stairs, seeing Lita and Griswold walking in. 

“There you two are,” Riley said. “Where have you been hiding away?”

“We went to get brunch,” Griswold yawned. “Then we went to that huge mall, then lunch…”

“We had such a wonderful time,” Lita swooned and grabbed Griswold’s arm. “What’s going on here?”

“Short version Easton and Weston had a verbal brawl,” Riley said. “Turns out their whole fight has been cause of behind the scene deals with the show, but they’re still duking it out. Man, I don’t think brothers should fight like that.”

Lita looked down. “It’s a very complicated mess…”

“First that, and then a secret alliance,” Griswold sighed.

Riley raised an eyebrow. “What’cha talking about Gris Bear?”

“Well it's only a rumor,” Griswold said, “but apparently someone overheard an Eagle bragging about how their alliance caused Hayden’s elimination.”

“I’ve even heard someone from our team was seen with a bunch of other Eagles last night,” Lita stated. 

Riley shrugged. “I don’t put a lot of thoughts in rumors. Listen Gris Bear, if you’re free, you want me to school you in a game of foosball?”

Griswold chuckled. “Didn’t I win the last game?”

“Yeah out of five,” Riley replied. 

“You have fun,” Lita giggled and nuzzled Griswold’s cheek. “I’ll see you tonight handsome, for our dinner and movie date.”

“Oh yeah,” Griswold recalled. “See you then too...uh beautiful.” 

Griswold blushed as Lita giggled more. Riley laughed and raced on, Griswold soon catching up to her. 

“They’re awfully close.”

Lita turned to see Pascal skipping down the steps. 

“Riley and Griswold sure spend a lot of time together,” Pascal said. “Riley really seems clo-”

“-I’m going to stop your stupid mouth right there,” Lita interrupted. “I know Riley would never make a move on Griswold; Riley is someone I know I can trust. Which is more than I can say for you.”

Lita pushed Pascal aside and ascended up the stairs. 

“Could this day get any worse,” Pascal sighed. 

“Pascy-Wascy!” 

Pascal facepalmed as Mandy ballerina twirled to him.

“Mandy,” Pascal gritted. “You’re still here.”

“You noticed!” Mandy cheered. “Isn’t it crazy? Rhonda says that she can’t afford to give me a free stay anymore, so I thought I’d have to go home!”

Pascal beamed.

“Then she gave me a job as an intern, and I’ll get paid in boarding! She says I could be here for the rest of the show! Isn’t that crazy?”

Pascal immediately frowned. 

“I was thinking we’ve had such a great time remembering things from our memory that we forgot,” Mandy said. “But we haven’t made any new memories either! So we should like totally go out to Washington, maybe see the Grand Canyon or Disneyworld…”

“Oh I’d love to,” Pascal said. “Really would, but uh...I’m hanging out with Ness at the moment and we have a lot to do!”

“Ooh maybe some other time th-”

Mandy looked around to see Pascal was gone. 

“Or not.”


In Kalino’s room, Kalino and Frannie were playing something on the Gamecube.

“I still don’t understand why Petey Piranha is only playable in this game,” Kalino stated.

“Right?” Frannie asked. “But they think Pink Gold Baby Peach or whatever is real creative.”

“You know I’ve been thinking,” Kalino said, “it might be too soon to tell, but Xidorn would be a good target.”

Frannie shook her head. “I think the whole debate is kind of silly.”

“Oh it totally is,” Kalino replied. “But if someone buys it, that’s a vote not against us.”

“I guess,” Frannie said. “I doubt Vance would go for it though.” 

“We’ll tell him we’re voting for someone else,” Kalino replied. 

Frannie dropped her controller. “You want to lie to him?” 

“Always telling the truth might work for Xidorn,” Kalino said, “but it can’t work that way in real life. Lies are sometimes necessary. We’re keeping him in the dark, but for his own good. We’re helping and protecting him.” 

“If you think it's the right thing to do,” Frannie replied. 

“We’ll see what happens,” Kalino stated. “Mannnnnnnn, let’s just chillax for the moment and stop stressing. Whatever happens, we’ll be alright.” 


The next day, the contestants found themselves shuttled in the TDG bus.

“Where do you think we’re going?” Ness asked. “Another monument? The zoo?”

“Probably another hotel in the chain,” Seraphina stated. 

The bus slammed to a stop as Rhonda jumped up. “Not quite...allow me to present a place many of your are familiar with; The Tysons Corner Center, aka the biggest mall in the Washington business district!” 

The contestants looked out to see themselves at a huge mall filled with dozens upon dozens of shops and a dozen times the number of shoppers. Particularly, there were swarms of preteen girls. 

“This mall and many of its shops have paid for some free advertising,” Rhonda stated. “Which we will deliver in a subtle and tasteful way.” 

“Speaking of tasteful,” Toby said, “can I just say how much I appreciate the food court at this mall? So many great choices like Subway; eat fresh.”

Toby pulled out a sub and pushed it against his face.

“I for am enjoying these Doritos Locos Tacos,” Jenny said and winked. “I’m thinking outside the bun.” 

“Personally I’m enjoying this egg, cheese and sausage McGriddle,” Rhonda stated. “Now part of McDonald’s all day breakfast menu! I’m lovin it.”

The contestants stared at the hosts.

“Anyway,” Rhonda continued. “This challenge is a scavenger hunt! You’ll all have two hours to find the items on this list Toby is passing out. Most of these shops will let you take them for free, if you present this flyer to them at the checkout. Items are all worth different points, so whichever team has the most points at the end wins.” 

Easton looked on outside the window. “There's a lot of business today. Is there a sale?”

“A special guest appearance is being made at the mall,” Rhonda said. “None other than teen heart throb Blainerson McManly!”

“Eeeeeeeeee!” Ness squealed. 

“Who?” Seraphina asked. 

“He’s a super cool singer and actor,” Ness salivated. “His duet with Cody Simpson nearly killed me!”


“Someone actually dropped a radio on my head playing that song,” Ness said, “It knocked me down a manhole into the sewers; I was lost for a week down there and had to eat garbage. But I still really like the song.” 


"You’ll notice the item on our list worth the most points is a celebrity cameo,” Rhonda stated. “Blainerson McManly fits the bill.” 

“How hard could it be?” Aiden asked. 

“DIE! BLAINERSON IS MINE!” 

A ten year old girl was thrown the window of the bus. 

“We’ll be at the food court so bring us your items and we’ll check them off,” Rhonda stated. “Enjoying all those great food options the mall has to offer, like Chick-fil-a! Eat more chicken, not cow hearts your carnivore.” 

“Kalino,” Frannie whispered. “You don’t suppose the mall is still upset after last time we were here, do you?” 

“Nahhhhhhh,” Kalino replied. “I’m sure they already-”

The wind hurled a poster against the two’s window, which read “Wanted Dead or Alive: Criminal Clown and Surfer for acts of child punting, British impersonations and public nudity.” 

Kalino and Frannie gulped and ducked out the window. 


Inside the mall, the teams quickly took two separate escalators. 

“Alright Fireworks,” Griswold said. “We got this! To be safe, let’s split up into pairs of two. We’ll each get a section of the mall and look for the items there.” 

“In that case I’ll go with you turtledove,” Lita swooned. “It’ll be just like the great date we had here earlier!” 

“Uhh..sounds super,” Griswold replied. 

Ness and Seraphina, Riley and Ignacio and Pascal and Easton paired up. 


“Here we are,” Melissa stated. “I was thinking Cynthia we could..”

Melissa turned to see Cynthia already on another escalator with Weston behind her. 

“Ooh that’s fine,” Melissa said. “Another time then. Well then Aiden-”

Melissa turned to see Aiden sulking in a gun store. 

“Man I bet Hayden would’ve loved this shotgun,” Aiden sighed. 

“I’ll give you some space my little chipmunk fluff,” Melissa said and went on. 


"I thought about talking with Aiden about Cynthia and Easton’s worries,” Melissa admitted. “But he’s just so sad about Hayden, I don’t want to bother him with my feelings; that’d be mean.”


A rent a cop stood guard at the front of the mall, but failed to notice a tiptoeing trashcan enter. 

“Stage one complete,” said the trashcan, who hid in the ficus plant. 

Frannie and Kalino threw the trash can off themselves. 

“Stage two,” Kalino said, “cut out faces from a magazine and put them over our faces! Creating a foolproof disguise to allow us to go around the mall.”

The two high fived and got to work...


“Shopping for jewelry is fun, huh Cynthia?” Weston asked as he tried on various necklaces in a shop. 

Cynthia tossed more and more jewelry aside, trying to find the right item. 

Weston twiddled his thumbs. “So Cynthia…uh...umm...”

“If you have something to say, say it,” Cynthia stated as shoppers looked on, yet kept their distance. 

Weston grabbed Cynthia’s arm and looked her in the eyes. “Okay, so the truth is even though you’re scary I think you’re really cool and brave. I really like you and like spending time with you, so do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“I understand,” Weston said. “I’m sorry if I made things really awkward.”

“I said yes Weston,” Cynthia stated. 

“Wait whattttttt?” Weston asked. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Do you want me to change my mind?” Cynthia asked. 

Weston shook his head. 

“You’ve got all the perfect traits of someone I want to date,” Cynthia said.

“I do?” Weston asked.

Cynthia stared. “You scar easily and bleed profusely...yet have a very high pain tolerance.” 

Weston gulped. 

“You’re also really sweet and cute,” Cynthia said. “It’s rare to find someone who fits all that.” 

Weston blushed and turned away. “Aw shucks!”


“Hehehe,” Weston giggled. “I got a girlfriend, I got a girlfriend! And it's the most amazing girl in the whole wide world! WOO!”


Cynthia stared. “I didn’t expect to get a boyfriend on this show. But now I do; I’m keeping him.”


“Your disguise ready?”

“Oh yeah!” 

Kalino popped out of the bushes wearing a cutout of the president on face...and wearing nothing else at all. 

“Ooh nice,” Frannie said. 

Frannie somersaulted out with a handsome yet familiar face. “I just chose some garden variety celebrity or something.”

“OH MY GAWD!” a preteen girl screamed and pointed. “Look!”

“Is that the president of the United State shopping in the nude?” another asked. 

“Who cares about that loser,” the first said. “Look who's next to him!” 

“BLAINERSON MCMANLY!” a mob of teen girls screamed and ran.

“Wait,” Frannie said, “if you’re the nude president then I must be-”

“I’m going to tear off some of his skin cells for my collection!”

“In your dreams ******! Those skin cells are mine and I’m gonna lick them!”

“Quick Fran The Man,” Kalino said, “tear it off!”

“I can’t,” Frannie replied. “It’s stuck on my face like a haunted mask!” 

Frannie dashed as the squad of girls stampeded through. 

“I’ve got to find a way to rescue Frannie,” Kalino stated. 


Meanwhile, Xidorn and Vance were in a book store.

Vance was tossing books out left and right. “What was on the cover of this book?”

“It could be a lot of things,” Xidorn replied. “A woman who looks like a pilgrim, a red letter; it’ll have a gold symbol or something on it to show it's an anniversary edition.” 

Vance kicked a shelf. “Of all the stores we had to go to a bookstore.”

“To be honest Vance... I suspect you can’t read,” Xidorn said. 

“That idea ain’t worth the salt in your bread!” Vance shouted. 

“There is nothing wrong with being illiterate,” Xidorn said. “It’s a problem a lot of people face. I’m not judging, I just want you to know you don’t have to feel bad in front of me.”

Vance sighed. “Alright...the truth is my ma or pa never taught me how to read. They...didn’t know either.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Xidorn stated. “If you want, I can teach you.” 

“Hmph, don’t you think it's a bit silly to be teaching an almost full grown man how to read?” Vance asked.

“I don’t find anything silly about helping someone,” Xidorn replied. “Especially a friend.”

Vance wiped a tear. “I didn’t know people could be so nice...I mean, lets save the mushy stuff for after the challenge.”

“You’re right,” Xidorn said.

The two turned back to the bookshelves. “Hey, do you know anything about this rumor going around?”

“Rumor?” Vance asked. 

“Apparently some of the Fireworks are convinced some 'inter-team' alliance is going on,” Xidorn said. “Silly huh? Said they’re the ones who voted off Hayden.”

Vance froze. “Uh...yeah that could never be happening, especially going on right now, on our team and be true.”

Xidorn pulled a book off the shelf. “I got it! Let’s boogie on out of here.”

Vance followed and whispered to himself, “I’ve got to tell Kalino…” 


Rhonda sat in the mall, sighing and holding her stomach as she sat on a bench. “Ooh, too much free advertising…” 

“I’ve got a pill for that if you need it.”

Rhonda turned to an old woman sitting next to her.

“Hey,” Rhonda said, “aren’t you that woman I was talking to at the subway?”

“Oh yes!” the old lady replied. “Your that hostess! What a coincidence seeing you again uh, Raina. How is your show going?”

Rhonda frowned. “Terrific.”

“Really?” the old lady asked. “I’ve DVRed it, but hadn’t been able to see it yet. I heard it was at the Pentagram Hotel.”

“The one and only,” Rhonda replied.

“Oh I’ve always wanted to tour it,” the old lady said. “I’ve done tons of research on it. It was a fascinating little place; you know they say the owner hid his greatest treasure in there!”

“Really?” Rhonda asked.

“So they say,” the old lady replied. “I’m an architect, so I’ve studied the floor plan. I use to make houses actually, most of my life till the housing market collapsed back in 2008.”

“You know I could arrange a tour,” Rhonda said. “In return maybe you’d share what you know about the house on camera.”

“It’d be my pleasure!” the old lady replied. 


As time ticked away, the contestants continued on their scavenger hunt. A montage was shown of some of the events so far…

Ness and Seraphina struggled to pry a candy bracelet from a baby’s grip.

Frannie continued to run from the fans, who were being joined my more preteen girls (and thirty year old men) as she ran.

Lita and Griswold we’re trying to get a orange soda out of a stubborn vending machine, but it wouldn’t budge.

Pascal was signing autographs, as Easton sat besides himself at a fountain.

Cynthia meanwhile managed to scare everyone out of Hot Topic.

And Vance found Kalino; he whispered in the slacker’s ear, who slowly nodded…


Inside a women’s lingerie store, Riley and Ignacio were searching through the ladies undergarments. 

Ignacio was blushing and closing his eyes. “I still think I should wait outside.”

“It’d be easier if we worked together,” Riley said. “Dude, you’re doing this for a challenge not cause you’re a pervert.”

“I know,” Ignacio replied. “But I feel...embarrassed and...judged.”

“I’m not judging bro,” Riley stated. 

“I knew you wouldn’t Riley,” Ignacio replied. “It’s just...I don’t know, people expect me to be a pervert just because I’m…”

“Smoking hot,” Riley finished. 

“Yeah,” Ignacio replied. “People just assume I have my way with women all the time just because I meet physical standards and am a model.”

“That often?” Riley asked. 

Ignacio nodded. “My ex girlfriend Carla use to be so concerned I was adulterous because women, and men, throw themselves at me. She was always afraid I was sneaking looks or was...for a lack of a better word, thirsty. She dumped me because she thought I was a womanizer.”

“It sounds like Carla didn’t know the real you Ignacio,” Riley said. 

“Can I help you and your boyfriend?” an employee asked.

“We aren’t...not like that,” Ignacio stated. 

The employee laughed. “Good to know.”

“We’re looking for some leopard underoos!” Riley announced. “You have any?”

“Only pair left is in clearance and I’m afraid I can’t give that way,” the employee replied.

Riley tuned to Ignacio who sighed and ripped his shirt off. 

“I’ll get you them right away stud!” the employee swooned. 

Ignacio hid his red face in his hands. I’m shirtless in a women’s lingerie store.”

“If it’ll make you feel better,” Riley said, “I’ll take mine off.”

“No!” Igncaio shouted. “I mean not that they’re bad, I’ve seen them before. I mean I wasn’t looking at them, not because they’re bad but…”

Riley laughed. “You are too easy to rile up.” 


At the same time, Ness and Seraphina sighed and held up the candy bracelet. Ness’s nose was bleeding.

“Are we wimps or does the baby bench press a thousand?” Ness asked. 

“A little bit of both,” Seraphina replied. “Sorry it punched you in the face.”

“It looks worse than it feels,” Ness said. 

“I’m going to go ahead and check this in with Rhonda,” Seraphina said. “I hope the others had a better time.”

“I’m gonna look around for any last minute items,” Ness said. 

“Go for it,” Seraphina encouraged. “And good luck.” 

Ness nodded and walked off. She looked at the stores for anything…but stopped at crying. Turning to a massage chair, she found Amanda Picklestein sobbing. 

Ness sighed and took a seat next to the chatterbox. “Hey Mandy.”

Mandy sniffled. “Huh? Oh hey Ness, Pascal’s new friend. You came to the mall too, huh? Isn’t that crazy?”

“Why are you crying?” Ness asked.

“I’m just having an allergic reaction to all these great items and deals at this mall,” Mandy cried.

“Are you sure?” Ness said. “You look like somebody who’s going through a lot. Trust me, I know.”

Mandy let out a loud groan and cried into Ness’ lap. “I’m such a loser Ness! I came here hoping to reunite with Pascal...but he’s forgotten all about me.”

“He recognized you,” Ness said. 

“Yeah but its not the same,” Mandy replied. “He’s not the same; it's like he’s a totally different person. He use to ask me how my day was at every meal and make up songs to sing to me at night. I thought we were really special friends…”

“I’m so sorry,” Ness said. 

“I should be the sorry one,” Mandy said. “Showing up unannounced, when Pascal’s here making new friends. That time on the show was just really important to me and...I wanted those experiences to last forever, not disappear. But I guess they already are gone; people grow apart as time goes on and life changes. Friends become acquaintances, then memories and then forgotten...” 

“Well have you told Pascal how you feel?” Ness asked. 

“No,” Mandy admitted.

“You don’t know if he’s forgotten you if you don’t ask,” Ness said. 

“But what if he really doesn’t care for me?” Mandy asked. “What if it's better not knowing than facing the truth...that Pascal and I will never be the same people we were on that show.”

“I don’t know what he’ll say,” Ness said. “But will you ever really be happy always wondering? The worst case is you’ll have to move on...but that’s better than being haunted forever isn’t it?”

Mandy hugged Ness. “Oh Ness, you’re such a nice person! Can I ask you something?”

Ness gulped. “Yeah?”

“Do you think we could be friends too?” Mandy asked.

“You...you want to be my friend?” Ness asked. “I think...I think we’re already friends now!”

Mandy squealed and hugged the girl again. “That’s wonderful! And thank you; if you ever need anything just name it!” 

Ness shook her head. “That’s not necessary I...wait, actually Mandy would you mind coming with me?” 

Mandy beamed. “Not at all!


At the same time, Lita and Griswold were still shaking the same vending machine. 

“Can this **** machine be loosened!” Lita screamed. 

A little girl skipped up to the machine and punched it. The orange soda came rolling out.

“Do you guys even lift?” the little girl asked before skipping away. 

“Well at least we have it,” Griswold said taking it as he and Lita headed to the nearest escalator. 

“Hey is that Easton?” Griswold asked, pointing out the holder twin sitting at a fountain.

“Poor dear looks miserable,” Lita said. 

“I bet it has to do with that fight with his brother,” Griswold said.

“Sweetie you go deliver that to Rhonda,” Lita said. “I’m going to see if I can talk to him.”

Before Griswold could answer, Lita got off the escalator. 

“Hey honey,” Lita said taking a seat. “You alright?”

“Oh yeah,” Easton said. “Just taking a breather.”

“Now I see a serious frown on that face,” Lita said. “You can tell me honey; I promise I won’t judge.”

“It’s Weston,” Easton admitted.

“I thought so,” Lita said. “Things still rough?” 

“I’m still furious if that’s what you mean,” Easton replied.

Lita nodded. 

“But...I do miss Weston,” Easton admitted. “I still worry about him. But those things I said...I admit I do kind of resent him; I know everyone likes him more. And I mean who wouldn’t, he’s great. I just work so hard in math, in track, at taking care of him...and I’ll still always be nothing but his twin brother. I thought this show would be chance to show I’m somebody...but I’m not.”

Lita patted Easton’s head. “Now honey, don’t you say that. You and your brother are very different, even if some people can’t see it. Maybe some people like him more, but I know some people here who like you a whole lot more.”

Easton nodded. “Thanks. It burns me up that Weston saw those tapes that he didn’t know something was off. That he actually thought I didn’t love him. Then again, can you call say I love him when I was jealous at the same time?”

Lita sighed. “I think its clear you still love him, even if you won’t admit it. I don’t know the answer to that question though. I really wish I did.”

Easton turned to Lita. “Thank you Lita, I feel better talking to you. I’m glad someone understands. Do you...want to talk about your brother?”

“Huh?” Lita asked. 

“You said you understand,” Easton said. "I remember you mentioning your brother after we won the Awake-a-thon.”

Lita squirmed. “Its different.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Easton said, “how is it different?”

“It’s worse,” Lita admitted. “I’ll tell you but you have to promise to never tell anyone else.”

Easton raised his right hand. “I swear.”

Lita nodded. “Me and my brother are different circumstances. My momma’s always had a hard life, yet she’s tried to take care of us. Still...I know she can’t ever love me the same way she loves him.”

Easton nodded. 

“With me...well my dad is a real bad guy. My mom was worried he’d leave her; she thought having me would make him stay. Instead it made him leave.”

“You can’t mean that,” Easton said.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Lita said. “I’m grateful he left. But trust me, I know it's true."

“God,” Easton mumbled. “I’m sorry Lita.”

Lita shook her head. “With my brother, or half-brother, she never planned to have him...but he wasn’t an accident either.”

Easton paused for a moment, then sighed and nodded. 

“When he came into our lives,” Lita continued, “so much changed. She treated him in ways she never had treated me before...everyone treated him different from me. And it's not like he doesn’t deserve it…he’s the greatest little guy I know. But I can’t help wishing...that could be me, that I could be loved like that! Then I feel so awful for feeling that.”

“I think understand,” Easton said. 

“But it is different from you and your twin,” Lita said and leaned in whispering in his ear.

Easton’s eyes grew wide. “Oh Lita, you can’t think that-”

“-Please don’t say anymore,” Lita said standing up. “We have to get back to the challenge. Just don’t tell anyone, especially Griswold or Seraphina or Ness. I don’t want them to know how awful I am…” 


Over on the other side of the mall, Kalino was racing around nude as the president. 

“Okay finding Blainerson McManly failed,” Kalino said. “How else can I save her?”

“Hey you.”

Kalino turned around to see a rent a cop.

“Oh, hey mannnnnn.”

“Are you really the President of the United States?”

Kalino blinked. “Yes, yes I am.” 

“Why are you running around naked?” the cop asked.

“I’m expressing my freedom as a citizen of America dude,” Kalino replied.

“I knew there was a reason I voted for you!” the cop cheered. “Listen, if there is anything you need, just name it.”

“If I could ask a presidential favor,” Kalino said, “I need to rescue Blainerson McManly. You know, FBI/CIA/SAT kind of stuff.” 

“Of course!” the cop replied. 


A few floors below, Riley and Ignacio exited the lingerie store. Riley stopped as she noticed a familiar lineman napping on the benches. She tossed the underoos on the still shirtless Ignacio.  

“Go on Iggy Pop,” Riley said. “I got to help a bro out here.”

Ignacio nodded and went on, ignoring the whistles he was getting. 

“What’s wrong Gris Bear?” Riley asked, sitting on the edge. 

“What makes you think something’s wrong?” Griswold asked.

“I know you,” Riley said. 

Griswold chuckled. “You do. The truth is, it’s about Lita.”

“Oh no,” Riley said. “What’s the trouble?”

“Dating her has been interesting,” Griswold said. “I mean at first it was amazing, but she’s really...kind of smothering. I'm feel suffocated and exhausted. And we kissed and...I felt I wasn’t ready for my first kiss, and now that I did it...I just pictured something else. Something like a Faith Hill song.”

“You and your love of Faith Hill,” Riley laughed. 

“Faith Hill’s music is amazing,” Griswold swooned. “Look in your heart bro, you know it to be true. The point is, I don’t know how to feel at this point.” 

“I hate to break it you Gris but it doesn’t get easier after forming a relationship,” Riley said. “It might even get harder.”

“And look how much I struggled forming it,” Griswold said. “I don’t know, I’m not going to call it quits, but this wasn’t what I was expecting of my first girlfriend.”

“What were you expecting?” Riley asked. “A fairytale wedding?”

Griswold laughed. “Of course not.”

“You know one of my older brothers always fell hard into love,” Riley stated. “He was so obsessed with finding someone…and all it got him was two divorces. The third time has been the charm so far, but it wasn’t an easy road for him to get there.”

“What are you trying to imply dude?” Griswold asked.

“I’m saying love isn’t easy or as magical as we think,” Riley said. “I’ve thought it was too, but I’ve learned from my brother’s relationships and my own that it isn’t. Don’t get wrong, love can do good, but it isn’t good by default, it’s...powerful.”

“With great power comes responsibility,” Griswold sighed. 

Riley chuckled. “As true as that phrase is cliché. Relationships are great, but they take a lot of work; they have to survive time passing, people growing, and things always changing. And they’ll never be perfect; they’re man made after all.”

“So what should I do now?” Griswold said. 

“Call me loco,” Riley said. “But have you thought about talking with Lita?”

Griswold blushed. “That would make sense.”

Riley shrugged. “I mean you can’t solve a problem if you don’t acknowledge there’s a problem dude. Let me tell you this, communication is important. And I don’t mean by dolphin calls.” 

“Eeeee!” Griswold squeaked before he and Riley burst into laughter. 

“I’ll just be straightforward with her when we get the chance alone,” Griswold stated. 

Riley gave a thumbs up. “Right on Broprah Winfrey. Communication is really important. A relationship can’t be happy if you’re keeping secrets or bottling up things inside. It's not healthy for your or your relationship.”

“Gosh Rye Bread, you ever think about writing a book?” Griswold teased. 

“I tried to write one on money saving tips but it costs a lot for paper dude,” Riley replied.

The two bros laughed and got up. 


At the same time, Frannie found herself chased up a fake palm tree. “Hmm, I didn’t expect to die in palm tree while being chased by preteen girls. I always thought it’d be a pine tree.”

“Marry me Blainerson McManly!” a girl shouted. 

“No me!” another girl shouted.

“He’s marrying me!” a man shouted. 

“No one is marrying that handsome man!”

“SAYS WHO?” a preteen girls shouts. 

Everyone gasped as a naked Kalino stood like George Washington crossing the Delaware river, riding on a the rent a cop’s golf cart. “Says the President of AMURICA!” 

The golf cart ran over the girls as it got to the palm tree. Frannie jumped and landed in Kalino arms. “My hero!”

Then suddenly, Kalino and Frannie’s masks fell off. 

“Hey you’re not my teenage fantasy come true, you’re a clown!”

“And you’re not the president,” the rent a cop shouted. “You’re some naked guy.”

“PUSH!” Kalino shouted as he shoved the rent a cop away and hijacked the golf cart.

“Let’s get out of this mall!” Frannie shouted. 

“Not yet Fran The Man,” Kalino replied. “I promised I’d try to save you. This challenge still has a minute left; let’s say we double dash this bitch?”

“Oh yeah!” the two shouted. 


At the same time, Rhonda and most of the contestants gathered together. To the left, the Fireworks had a pile of their items. To the right, the Eagles had a smaller pile. 

“Well it was close,” Rhonda said, “but this win is the Fizz-”

“-Woaaahhhhhhhhhh!” 

Frannie and Kalino drove their golf cart off the top floor and descended down. The two and their shopping bags jumped out of their in slow mo. The golf cart landed on the floor and exploded right next to Rhonda. Frannie and Kalino landed on their butts nearby and high fived. 

“What The Heck?” Rhonda screamed.

“Wrong fanfiction,” Frannie said. “Also, we brought gifts!” 

The two tossed their shopping bags on top of Rhonda. “Well this changes everything; I’d say the winners are-”

“-Wait!” 

Ness ran up pulling Mandy behind her. “I have one last item.”

“It’d have to be worth a lot of points mannnn,” Kalino said while smiling at Frannie. 

“She is,” Ness said, presenting Mandy.

“Mandy isn’t on the list,” Toby stated.

“The list requests a celebrity cameo,” Ness explained. “Mandy is a celebrity and here she is cameoing.”

“Hmm,” Rhonda said. “Well I finally wanted Blainerson to cameo, but I’ll take it.”

Yes!” Ness cheered and hugged Mandy as the other Fireworks joined in.

“It’ll take some math,” Rhonda said, “give us a minute.”


Five hours later, the co-hosts separated. “We’ve calculated your exact scores and by a single point the winners are…The Fizzled Fireworks!” 

Kalino’s smile immediately dropped. Xidorn nodded, as the other Eagles realized what that meant and looked at each other. 

The Fizzled Fireworks cheered at their victory...except for Seraphina who stared at Xidorn and the other Eagles. “Please, please let it work.” 

“Prepare to say goodbye to another one of your friends Eagles,” Rhonda said. 


It was a quiet night; the Eagles shuffled into the Internet cafe without a word. Dark clouds loomed outside. 

Rhonda sighed. “The votes have all been cast. I’ve got seven cups of raspberry flavor coffee. It’s good stuff. But one of you won’t know what that’s like. Weston, will however.”

Weston nodded as he caught his cup.

“Vance...Kalino...Melissa.”

The three caught their cups and shuffled awkwardly. 

“Cynthia...Aiden.”

Aiden nodded. 

“One cup left; two newbies. The final coffee cup goes to...”



















































“...Xidorn. I’m afraid it's your time now Frannie.” 

Frannie didn’t move for a few seconds, before slowly raising her eyebrows and turning to the others. She looked towards Kalino, but he looked the other way. “I don’t...why?”

“We’re so sorry Frannie,” Weston said. “But we know you’ll be happier now!” 

Frannie just stared. “What?”

“I’m sorry but you have a ride to catch,” Rhonda stated. 

“But-”

“Goodbye,” Rhonda interrupted. 

Frannie frowned and crept towards the Revolving Doors of Shame.

Kalino stood up. “I better talk to her…”


Frannie set her luggage down at the bus stop. 

“Frannie,” Kalino said in a whisper as he exited.

Frannie turned to notice him and ran to hug him. “Kalino! What happened? Why...why am I going home?”

“I...don’t know,” Kalino said. “I’m just as confused and upset as you are.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything in there?” Frannie asked.

Kalino looked down. “I was in shock, that’s all…”

Frannie’s eyes grew wide and she separated from him. “You knew. You knew it was going to be me.”

Kalino turned away. “Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to go and ruin a good thing? I felt like I could trust you.”

“Of course you can trust me,” Frannie replied. “What did I do?”

“Loose lips sink ships,” Kalino quoted. “Remember?”

“What?” Frannie asked.

“The rumors going around?” Kalino asked. “We have our first alliance meeting with you and suddenly everyone’s talking about an alliance meeting and Hayden going home. You tell me that’s coincidence?”

“I didn’t say anything,” Frannie said. “How could you think that?”

“Like how you spilled the beans about Diamonique's genius?" Kalino asked. "You aren’t good at keeping secrets. I couldn’t risk my game, my dreams, on you.”

Frannie turned away and began crying. Kalino stood and watched her. 

“Frannie,” Kalino said. “I’m sorry...I really am. But I promise our deal’s still intact, you’ll still get-”

“-I didn’t say anything!” Frannie yelled, revealing her smearing makeup. “I never told a soul. Why didn’t you just ask me? Why didn’t you talk to me?”

Kalino looked down.

“For my own good, was it?” Frannie asked. “Thought I’d never know about it till you’d won and then when you saved the circus I’d understand. Is that it? What did you tell them?” 

“I told them you weren’t feeling well,” Kalino said. “You were homesick and didn’t want to be here.”

“Soon I won’t have a home to go to,” Frannie stated. “The circus will close down now.”

“You can still save the circus,” Kalino said. “With your share you-”

“-You actually meant that deal?” Frannie asked. “Or was that another lie? What you just said about Diamonique...you voted her off, didn’t you?” 

Kalino sighed. “Yes.”

“Oh my god,” Frannie wept. “Of course you did! I was such a fool! You used me! I trusted you Kalino. And I thought, I thought you and me...that we…”

The Public Transportation pulled up and opened its door as it started to rain.

Frannie wiped her face on her sleeve as she picked up Ziba and her luggage. 

“What?” Kalino said. “You thought what?”

“Who cares,” Frannie replied. “It doesn’t matter now; none of it does. Keep the money for yourself, I don’t want it.”

“Fran The Man...I...I...”

“Good luck Kalino,” Frannie said. “I hope you get everything that you wanted. Hope you prove everyone you were right.” 

Frannie didn’t turn around as the doors closed behind her. Then she was gone. The rain poured as Kalino stood there and looked on at the street...

Chapter 10 A Crime of Fashion[]

Kalino eventually walked in from the rain. Most of the Eagles had already dispersed. The rain was not letting up.

Melissa ran up and hugged the slacker. “If you need anything, say so.” 

Kalino said nothing, slumping down at a table in the corner. Vance followed and took a seat beside him.

“Hey partner,” Vance said, “how you holding up?”

Kalino shrugged. 

“Listen,” Vance said, “you can’t be mad at yourself; Frannie didn’t want to stay. Now she can go home.” 

“I thought if I won I...” Kalino said. “...I didn’t tell her.”

Vance scratched his mustache. “Well. I don’t know how you’d tell someone that. Sometimes you have to keep people in the dark for their own good. Just remember, you did the right thing.”

Kalino said nothing. 

Eventually, Vance coughed, wished Kalino goodnight and left. Kalino laid his head against the table…


In the hall Pascal was tiptoeing around a corner, where he bumped into Xidorn. The two fell to the floor, Xidorn gripping his hand tightly. 

Pascal forced a smile. “Oh Xidorn. Good to see you buddy. How’d the elimination ceremony go?”

“I’m still here,” Xidorn replied, shoving his hand into his pocket. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Pascal pushed his way past the straight shooter. “Oh well; there’s always next time.”

“Good flashdrive hunting!” Xidorn shouted back before heading down the hall. He looked down at his fist and smirked to himself. 


Xidorn entered the usual commons room, where Seraphina was watching an old movie. The psychic jumped on her feet and sighed in relief at the sight of Xidorn. 

“Thank god,” Seraphina said, embracing her boyfriend. 

“I’m glad to see you too,” Xidorn replied. “But I told you it wouldn’t be me.”

“Who was it then?” Seraphina asked. 

Xidorn sighed. “Frannie. Apparently she was homesick, so we voted for her. I’d have told you sooner, but I only found out right before the elimination ceremony.”

“I guess I didn’t need my plan,” Seraphina muttered. 

“I have something I want to...plan?” 

Xidorn separated and stared at Seraphina, who blushed. 

“I decided I wasn’t going to sit back and cause your elimination,” Seraphina admitted. “So I went looking for the immunity flash drive, and while I didn’t find it...I did see some Eagles leave Pascal’s room, probably his roommate’s friends.”

“So?” Xidorn asked. 

“Well...it gave me an idea,” Seraphina admitted. “The whole reason you were on the chopping block was for ‘fraternizing with the enemy’. If someone was doing the same thing, on a much bigger scale, then the target would be off of you.”

“That rumor going on,” Xidorn stated, his eyes growing wide. 

Seraphina nodded. “I made up the rumor about an interteam alliance. We were shocked to see you voted off Hayden, so I tied that into it. I told the other Fireworks, knowing it would spread. I knew no one would suspect you, you’re too honest.”

“So you told this huge lie?” Xidorn asked. 

“Yeah,” Seraphina replied. “Why, what’s the big deal? It was a game move.”

“If your plan would have worked,” Xidorn said. “It could have sent home someone completely innocent.” 

“Someone has to go home and I’d rather it not be you,” Seraphina said. “Especially for a stupid reason.” 

“What’s the difference between this and any lie Pascal told?” Xidorn asked. 

“I did it to save someone I care about,” Seraphina shouted. “I did it to protect you. Not to get ahead or some petty reason.”

“So you’re willing to let someone else take the fall?” Xidorn replied. 

“Your team was willing to turn on you for dating me,” Seraphina countered. “People will use any reason they can to vote someone off and save themselves!”

“So that makes it right for you do the same thing?” Xidorn asked. 

Seraphina sighed. “I guess not...but we can’t do the right thing all the time. I’m not going to be an idiot and take the higher ground. I mean is taking the high ground worth giving up two million dollars? Is it worth letting some ass have a better chance? Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and do what you have to do to make it through another day.” 

“I’d rather take the high ground than lie and manipulate others,” Xidorn stated. “Even if it is two million dollars.”

“So I should have just sat back and let you go home because of me?” Seraphina asked. “I should have done nothing?”

“I’m fine,” Xidorn stated. “We didn’t need your plan because Frannie was homesick. Even if she wasn’t, I have friends. I wouldn’t be voted out for it.”

“I know you want to believe that but that's not what I heard!” Seraphina replied. “Riley's roommates with Weston; he said your name had been brought up.”

Xidorn’s expression didn’t change. "You didn't trust me."

He sat down next to the psychic, but turned away from her. They sat there, not moving, not speaking, not looking at each other for a few minutes. 

“This is for you.”

Xidorn opened his hand to reveal a red flash drive. 

“Where did you-”

“I saw it sticking out of a potted plant,” Xidorn explained. “The one near your room. Take it.”

Seraphina grabbed it. “I...thank you.”

A few more minutes passed. Xidorn stood up and left. Seraphina watched him leave, then turned away.


Outside of another common room, Griswold stood waiting outside the door.

“I’ve just got to be honest,” Griswold whispered to himself. “We just need to slow it down.”

Griswold started to knock on the door, only for Lita to fling it open. “Oh Gris, I thought I heard you whispering to yourself out here.”

“Lita there’s something I have to tell you,” Griswold stated. 

Lita tugged on her scarf. “Yes Griswold?”

“Uh...squeak! Squeak!”

“What?” Lita asked. 

“I uh...like your hair,” Griswold mumbled.

“Oh thanks,” Lita laughed. “Your pompadour looks good as usual. So, I thought tonight we could watch something special.”

Lita pulled out a DVD titled…

The Notebook?” Griswold asked.

Lita snuggled his shoulder. “Yeah. Its my favorite movie actually! You know it's a movie that couples watch, cause its so romantic. And we’re a couple so-”

“I’ve seen it,” Griswold stated. “Me and my sisters usually watch it with our mama. She bawls like crazy at it.”

Lita frowned. “I’ll start it.” 


In the secret observation room, RhondaJenny and Toby were holding a meeting. 

“Now that’s the advertisements handled for the next few episodes,” Rhonda finished. “Onto other news; are you two aware of that vulture?”

The camera panned up to reveal a vulture circling the co-hosts.

“Oh yeah,” Jenny replied, “It's been stalking us ever since then the first challenge. I’m pretty sure it thinks Toby is going to keel over soon, since he basically looks like a corpse.”

“Your outside is a direct reflection of your inside,” Toby stated.

“I’ve named her Elaine,” Jenny stated.

Rhonda shrugged, and went on with business.


Early that next morning, before the sun had even come out, Melissa left her room. Using her tiptoes, she made her way downstairs. Turning behind her, she tripped and fell down the stairs in a clatter. She landed on top of Aiden

“Gee wilkers Melissa,” Aiden stated. “You alright?” 

“I am fine,” Melissa replied. “Are you alright snookums?”

Melissa and Aiden stood up and dusted the other off. 

“Just dandy,” Aiden replied. “What are you doing up at this hour?”

“I just wanted to do some baking,” Melissa admitted. “Why are you up?”

Aiden shifted his eyes back and forth. “Have you heard those rumors about an interteam alliance?”

Melissa shook her head.

“Rumor is they were responsible for Hayden's elimination,” Aiden replied. “I’ve been looking for clues on who they are.”

“I wouldn't pay any mind to any rumors,” Melissa said. “Sweetie, Hayden just didn’t mesh well with everyone. That’s why he’s gone.”

Aiden shook his head. “That can’t be it. There has to be something else.”

Melissa sighed. “Aiden, I...I was thinking we-”

“-I’m sorry Melissa, I’ve got to go find more clues,” Aiden interrupted. ‘I’ll see you later.” 

The patriot marched off.

Melissa trudged towards the kitchen. Her eyes widened as she saw Kalino asleep on the table. She snuck into the kitchen and took the secret passage to her room.

She came back with a blanket and draped it over the slacker. 


In Ness' room, Ness and Lita were going through their morning routine, as Seraphina was sprawled out in bed, face buried in a pillow. 

“How’d your date go last night Lita?” Ness asked. 

Lita grimaced. “Great."

Ness started brushing her hair. "Its weird, it feels like its been almost a year since we've been on this show, huh?"

"Amen," Lita replied. "How long has it been?"

Ness shrugged. "We started at the end of May, right?" 

"Ooh!" Lita exclaimed. "Let's look at my new calendar and see if we can tell. 

Ness’ eyes grew wide, and she snapped her hairbrush in half. 

Lita strutted over towards the side of the room. “Any excuse to look at my calendar of food and hunky gu-”

Lita froze and frowned. Her calendar was tossed on the ground. The knockout picked it up, and her jaw dropped. “What in the world?”

“I didn’t rip out June’s calendar page!” Ness screamed. 

“No one said you did sweetie,” Lita replied. “Look at who's on my July cover.” 

Ness giggled as she saw the cover; Ignacio sporting American flag briefs and grilling burgers. 

“I can’t believe Iggy is in your calendar,” Ness teased. “Should we tell him? Or do you think he’ll get too embarrassed.” 

“I have to tell him,” Lita stated, “because he is overcooking those patties. That is a waste of meat products!” 

“I feel like you only bought the calendar for the food,” Ness joked. “The hot guys were just a bonus.”

“Girl, stop calling me out,” Lita laughed.


“The truth is I did actually got rid of Lita’s June calendar page,” Ness admitted. “My birthday is coming up and I don’t want the girls to know. My birthdays tend to be pretty bad...worse than usual actually. I have to celebrate it at home, but I’d like not to here. So if everyone thinks we’ve skipped ahead to next month, we can avoid it entirely.” 


In the hotel’s lobby, Rhonda, Toby and Jenny were escorting the elderly lady from before inside. 

“Thank you for allowing me to tour the Pentagram Raina,” the old lady stated.

“No problem Ms…”

“Holmes,” the old lady replied. “Ms. Holmes. Its beautiful architecture; you know this hotel was closed off to the public for years after the murder and subsequent treasure hunters.”

“You mentioned a treasure before,” Rhonda said, “What is this treasure?” 

“No one knows for certain,” Ms. Holmes replied, “the owner was a wealthy man and took many valuables from his victims.”

“You know it's one thing to be a serial killer,” Jenny said. “But a murderer and a thief? That’s just rude.”

“On his execution day he said his greatest treasure was still hidden in the hotel,” Ms. Holmes explained. “He said it was in the hotel’s ‘heart he’. Whatever that means. To this day, it has never been found.” 

“I’m sure it won’t be a plot point later,” Toby stated.

“You know the owner said he designed the hotel after a pentagram to ensure he could finish his plans,” Ms. Holmes continued. “Right before he was executed, he said he placed a curse on the hotel. Said the curse would allow his spirit to haunt the hotel and continue his business forever.”

“He cursed it?” Rhonda asked.

“Oh yes,” the old lady replied. “It's the reason his ghost haunts the place.” 

“What do you mean?” Rhonda asked.

“He didn’t die here,” the old lady stated. “He died in the electric chair. Why would his ghost be in the hotel?”

Rhonda blinked. “I uh…I never thought about that.” 

Jenny shook her head. “What a dummy.” 

“Look whose talking,” Toby said.

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny shouted. 

“So, could we tour the underground catacombs?” Ms. Holmes asked. 

“Afraid not,” Rhonda replied. “Orders from the higher-ups. But we can let you see the new Internet cafe in the hotel!”


In a common room, Xidorn slouched on the coach and was trying to watch some movie. Rushing in the room comes Weston, who halted to a stop and stared at the screen.

“Oh hey Weston,” Xidorn said. “What’s up?”

“I got lost looking for the bathroom again,” Weston said. 

“You know there are bathrooms in our room,” Xidorn explained.

“Ohh!” Weston exclaimed. “Now if I could just find my room….are you watching a Cornelious Puckerschmidt film?” 

Xidorn smiled a bit. “Yeah, it's during his weird Japanophile phase, Rise of the Wily Takunis.”

“I say he’s still in that phase,” Weston joked. “Why are you watching it all alone?” 

“To be honest,” Xidorn said, “Seraphina and I got in a fight. I'm trying to process how I feel about it.” 

“Aw jeez,” Weston sighed. “I’ve only recently started dating...no one, but I bet it isn’t fun.” 

“Weston you’re a well sprung of simple but deep truths,” Xidorn replied. 

“I get that a lot,” Weston replied.

"Can I ask you something?" Xidorn questioned. "Would you have voted me out last night?"

"No way!" Weston declared. "Someone did say they were thinking of voting for you. Can't remember who though. But I like having you here. Plus, you're the first person I've met with naturally blue hair!"

Xidorn laughed. "Thanks Weston, I appreciate it."

“Do you mind if I watch this with you?” Weston asked.

Xidorn patted the couch next to him. “I was hoping you’d ask.” 


In the billiards room, Riley, Easton and Griswold were playing another game of pool.

Easton shook the rack. "So how'd it go last night Gris? Did you talk to her?"

Griswold blushed. "Well I..."

"Nope," Riley stated, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry," Griswold admitted, "I'm trying! I will soon, I just don't want to hurt her feelings."

"As long as I get invited to the wedding," Easton joked.

"Have you talked to your brother?" Riley asked.

"We're not starting that again," Easton replied. "But...how is he? He tell you anything?"

"He asked what the mac in mac and cheese was," Riley replied. "I really didn't have the answer."

"How come you don't have problems dude?" Griswold asked.

Riley lined up her cue with the ball and prepared to break. "Cause I'm awesome."

Riley rammed the ball with her cue, firing it off the table and out the secret passage. A sound like glass breaking followed.

Griswold laughed. "The awesomest."


The next day, Xidorn and Vance were in the library…

“Eat...them...with a f, f, fox,” Vance read, from Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham. “Eat them...in a box.” 

“That’s right!” Xidorn cheered. “Awesome job Vance.” 

Vance spit and tossed the book against the wall. “Aw great, I could read as well as **** preschooler!” 

“Vance-”

“I feel like an idiot!” Vance shouted. “If I’m just now reading a picture book, how am I ever going to really read? How is anyone ever going to take me seriously?”

“Throwing the book isn’t going to help,” Xidorn retorted. “I know its tough, but you’re making progress and that’s what counts!”

Vance had crossed his arms and faced away.

Xidorn reached his hand out to the cowboy’s shoulder, but the cowboy pulled away. 

Xidorn sighed. “I think that’s enough for today. Hey listen, I’m going to a movie later tonight, you want to come with us?” 

Vance turned around a little bit. “Well...who are you going with?”

“Weston,” Xidorn replied.

“Weston!” Vance exclaimed. “Why are you going to the movies with that polecat?”

“Because we’re friends,” Xidorn answered. “We enjoy a lot of the same movies and directors.”

Vance pouted and sniffled. “You’re my deputy though...”

“I still am,” Xidorn insisted. “But I have other friends, like you and Kalino are friends.”

“Why do you have to hang out with Weston though?” Vance asked. 

I know you and Weston haven’t always gotten along,” Xidorn stated, “but I think you could! You actually have a lot in common.”

“Oh yeah?” Vance asked. “Like what?”

“Well for starters you both asked me what the mac in mac and cheese is,” Xidorn stated. “And you both asked me if Santa Claus visits Jewish kids.”

“Psh, everyone asks those same questions,” Vance replied. “doesn’t mean I’m Weston’s new twin.” 

“You’re both members of the same team,” Xidorn added. “You're both cool guys I like.”

“That’s because everyone likes me,” Vance stated.

Xidorn shifted his eyes back and forth. “Honestly I-”

“I ain’t doing it,” Vance stated. “And that’s final!” 

“Come on, give him a chance,” Xidorn pleaded. “Please, for me.”

Xidorn held his hands together and made ‘puppy dog’ eyes at Vance, widening his eyes and batting them at the faux cowboy. 

“The puppy dog eyes won’t work on me this time,” Vance stated. “No sir, you will not-”


Vance and Xidorn were preparing to leave for the movies. Weston tripped down the stairs, wiping out in front of the honest abe and the rodeo star. 

“Ready for the newest superhero crossover Xi...ance?” Weston asked. 

“It’s Vance,” the cowboy corrected. “With a V, like in violin or the two in W.” 

Weston frowned. “Xidorn, can I talk to you in private?”

The straight shooter and twin scooted by into the corner, Vance scowling at Weston. 

“What is that meany pants doing here?” Weston pouted. 

“I invited Vance along,” Xidorn explained. “I thought you guys should get to know each other.” 

Weston frowned. “I think I know him pretty well. Enough to know I don’t want to hang out with him.”

Xidorn batted his eyes and began making a puppy dog face. “Come on, it's not too much to ask if I try to have my friends hang out, is it?” 

Weston cringed and turned away. “Uhh...okay, just stop making puppy dog eyes.”

Xidorn beamed. “Woo! Let’s go have fun at the movies!”

Weston sniffled. “I can still feel them looking at me…”


“Me and Vance?” Weston asked. “I don’t see it. That guy is kind of mean, like a bear. But not a panda bear, or a teddy bear, or a gummy bear, or a care bear. Those are the nice bears! There’s no way me and him could ever-”


Xidorn, Weston and Vance exit the movie theater laughing with their arms synced together. 

“That was a blast!” Weston cheered.

“You can say that again partner,” Vance agreed. “And it's thanks to these two funny guys right here!”

“Right back at you buddy!” Weston stated. 


“Vance is actually pretty cool,” Weston admitted. “I mean I finally found someone who also wants to know what the mac in mac and cheese is! He grew up around farms too, but his had animals like horses and even ostriches! The animals on Nebraskan farms are usually just corn.” 


“I mean I kinda always knew Weston and I would get along,” Vance bragged. “We’re both thinkers, you know? I mean this guy gets it, let me tell you. He was obviously impressed by my rodeo skills. I might even let him become my backup deputy.” 


Xidorn crossed his arms and smirked. “What did I say? I knew they’d hit it off. Part of the reason I wanted them to hang out is I think they need to make more friends, just so they can have a bigger support system. Another thing they have in common is that they’re both going through some rough times.”


The following day, Cynthia walked down the hall, sharpening her knives. From around the corner, Aiden crawled on the ground and followed her.

"Operation Ghost Eagle is a go," Aiden whispered to himself. "Let's see where you're going. To meet your secret alliance?"

Cynthia stopped and shot a glance backwards.

"Eep!" Aiden squealed, hightailing it out of there. "Abort mission, abort mission!"

Cynthia turned around and continued on her way, stopping at a broom closet and sneaking inside.

"Hi Cynthia," Weston greeted. "Uh, why are we meeting in her again?"

"To keep it a secret," Cynthia replied. "I think someone is on to us."

"I'll get them off you Cynthia!" Weston stated, brushing the girl's back. Weston pulled Cynthia closer to him, then blushed as their faces were only inches apart. The two moved in closer...till Weston recoiled back.

"Ouch," Weston stated. "I think I accidentally bit my lip."

Weston motioned towards his bottom lip, showing where was blood was trickling down.

Cynthia grabbed Weston and pulled him towards her. Weston giggled as the two began making out.


Meanwhile, the other contestants ate in the cafeteria, enjoying the peace and quiet.

A piercing crackle was heard over the loud speaker. “Its time for the challenge newbies! Everyone on the bus in five fabulous minutes!” 

The TDG bus departed, eventually stopping outside of glitzy, glittery hotel. The newcomers entered through the lobby, gazing at racks of fashion magazines and headless mannequins modeled in unrealistic positions.

They reached the elevator and headed towards the top floor. But instead of hotel rooms, the elevator opened up to a catwalk and judges’ table. 

“Welcome contestants to The Hotel de Couture,” Rhonda announced. “One of the most expensive and exclusive hotels, and one of the many amazing hotels that are part of our main company’s chain!”

She paused and forced a smile. “Only the most on-point fashionistas stay here. Now as you can probably tell, this place is not only a hotel but hosts many fashion shows…”

Rhonda motioned beyond her as stage lights lit up the runway.

“Which brings us to today’s challenge,” Rhonda said. “Our very own fashion show! Each team must design outfits and model them on this runway.”

“Ain’t that the berries!” Vance shouted. “They got a model on their team!”

“Didn’t you guys have a circus acrobat in a high wire challenge?” Ignacio replied. “Or a track star compete in shot put? Or a Washington local in the race around Washington?” 

Vance pouted his lip. “Well…”

“This is a fashion challenge,” Rhonda stated. “Modeling is only a small part of it. If you’re still sore about it, get over it because I’m not making special accommodations. Trust me, life isn’t fair.”

Rhonda took a deep breath before continuing. “You’ll need to create three outfits for this challenge; swimwear, evening wear and a wedding dress. You'll need three model and at least one male and one female model. We’ll then have a fashion show, where are mystery designer judges will decide the winners.”

“Mystery designer judges?” Ness whispered.

“I bet it’s just Jenny and Toby,” Seraphina replied. “Probably wearing over-sized hats or something.” 

“You can use any of the materials backstage for your clothes,” Rhonda stated. “If you need other materials, you each have a little spending money you can use at the fabric store down the street. See you in five hours!”


In a designer's room towards stage left, the Fizzled Fireworks gathered around Griswold.

“So what’s fashionable Ignacio?” Griswold asked.

“I don’t know,” Ignacio replied.

“Wait what?” Seraphina questioned. "Why not?"

“Guys I’m adorned in the same sweatshirt everyday,” Ignacio stated. “I have no knowledge of couture.”

“But aren’t you a model?” Easton asked.

“I model underwear, the clothes others aren’t suppose to see,” Ingacio replied. “Except for people who still think sagging their pants is cool. The point is I wear clothes, not design them.”

“What about you Seraphina?” Griswold asked. “Your shawl is totally spiffy.”

“It’s from a dead relative,” Seraphina replied. “Which is my extent of fashion and also shows Griswold’s out.”

“That’s fair,” Griswold replied and patted his pompadour. “I’m more known for my great hair.”

“Well I am a celebrity,” Pascal stated. “So I’d say I’m pretty high fashion.”

“Is that why you were that beanie everywhere?” Seraphina asked.

“Hey my hat is super cool,” Pascal said. “And it was…a gift from a friend…”

“Lita you know this stuff, right?” Seraphina asked.

Lita raised an eyebrow. “Honey I don’t know nothing about clothes. I buy my stuff from on the sales bin at K-mart. Not even the Super K-mart.”

“I thought you looked nice,” Seraphina replied.

“Thank you sweetie,” Lita said. “But the only thing I know about clothes is that fashionable clothes are expensive ones.”

“Not necessarily,” Riley said, “as my outfit can attest to.”

Griswold nodded. “True, true. Wait a minute…Riley could design the outfits for this challenge!”

“Dude, you really think so?” Riley asked.

The other Fireworks exchanged looks. “Uhh…”

Of course bro,” Griswold replied. “Your the swaggiest fashion guru I know.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Riley replied. “Hmm, now let’s see…”

As soon as Riley walked off, the remaining Fireworks huddled together.

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” Easton asked.

“Why would you doubt Riley’s fashion sense?” Griswold asked.

Riley took down a mounted deer head. “Dudes, we could totally make this into a hat! Or if we have two, they could shoulder pads! Or maybe split the face and antlers…”

“I mean I like Riley’s outfit,” Ness said. “It’s totally cool! But it’s not what comes to mind when I think of high fashion. More like…little red dresses and lots of jewelry.”

“I guess its not that,” Griswold said. “But I have full faith that Riley will knock it out of the park for this challenge.”

In the back, Riley is dancing with the deer head on.

“I guess you’re the leader,” Seraphina said. “And nobody else knows anything.”

“Sweet!” Griswold cheered.

Riley jumped. “Don’t leave me out of the team huddle. What’s up?”

“Just deciding models,” Seraphina lied. “We need two besides Ignacio.”

“It should be Lita and Pascal,” Ness spoke up. “They’re really attractive like models.”

“Aw sweetie, thank you,” Lita replied.

“You think I’m attractive?” Pascal asked.

“I’m sure she meant anyone but you,” Seraphina said. “Like that dead deer head.”

Ness blushed. “I uh, I just um…I meant you attract the audience with your energy. You are a performer, so you’d do good on the catwalk.”

“It is another stage,” Pascal agreed.


“Ness doesn’t like me right?” Pascal asked. “Psh, what I am talking about? Being with Ness is more like having a little sister. I’m sure she probably feels the same way.”


“So who gets what outfit?” Ignacio asked.

“Dibs on the wedding dress!” Lita shouted. 

“Swimwear is for showing off skin,” Seraphina admitted. I recommend you take it Ignacio.”

“Really?” Ignacio murmured and blushed.

“You do model underwear,” Easton said. “A speedo is basically underwater underwear.”

“I don’t think this deer head would make a good speedo,” Riley said. “Maybe a squirrel…”


“I’ve always dreamed about trying on wedding dresses,” Lita swooned. “You know, all your girlfriends giving you advice, modeling the gown, a sassy designer snapping his fingers, all the works! And then to strut down that church, have my dream guy lift my veil and tell me how much he loves me in that dress...isn’t that what every girl dreams of?”


“What do I dream of?” Riley asked. “Two words; monkey, butlers. Like its a monkey in a tuxedo who will make you little sandwiches and do laundry. Isn’t that what everyone dreams of?”


“Does anyone have any sewing skills?” Griswold asked.

Ness raised her hand halfway. “Not with clothes. But I know how to use a needle and stitch; I learned from some free classes at the vet’s clinic...and personal experience.”

“Vet classes?” Easton asked.

“Mhmm, I love animals!” Ness exclaimed. “I plan on becoming a veterinary.” 

Everyone stared at Ness. 

“What?” 

“Uhh…”


In a flashback, the Fizzled Fireworks walked down the street. On the side of a road, a one eyed cat limps in an alley. 

“Oh no,” Ness gasped, “that poor kitty is hurt. We should call a-“

“Hisss!” 

The cat leapt onto Ness’ face, forcing her backwards where she slipped on a banana peel and fell into a dumpster. 

“Aackkkkk!”

“I think it just coughed a hairball in my mouth…”


In another flashback, Seraphina approached Lita in the lobby. 

“I’m so excited for this trip,” Seraphina said. “Where’s Ness?”

“The girls’ room,” Lita replied.

“Ahhh!” 

Ness ran screaming out of the bathroom, a piece of toilet paper stuck to her boot. Seconds later, a sewer gator crawled out after her. 

“Huh,” Seraphina said, “it's smaller than usual.” 


In another flashback, the Fireworks are dancing at a party in the girls’ dorm.

“Easton look out!” Ness yelled.

Easton froze, along with everyone. “Huh?” 

Ness bent down and picked up a caterpillar almost crushed under Easton’s foot. “You almost squashed this little guy.”

“Its just a caterpillar,” Pascal said. “There are about ten dead ones in the window sill.” 

Ness blushed. “It's just he’s got a whole life to look forward to. He hasn’t even had a chance to be a butterfly yet. I’ll be back, I’m going to let him back outside.”

A few minutes later and the Fireworks were back to partying. 

“Where on Earth is Ness?” Lita asked. “You don’t think she got mugged, or kidnapped, or abducted or-“

“-We’ll check,” Seraphina said, opening the door. “But I’m sure she’s just-“

They froze as they found Ness passed out in a pool of her own blood, the caterpillar bathing itself. 


Ness blushed as the other Fireworks gave her questioning or concerned looks.

“Okay, I’m not the best with animals,” Ness admitted. “But I can use a needle.”

"We'll take it!" Griswold stated. "Get us started Riley..." 


On the right side of the stage, the Molting Eagles discovered a similar problem...

"...None of us have any fashion sense," Aiden sighed. 

"So what do we do?" Weston asked. 

No one said anything, looking over at the others for a sign. 

"Does anyone have any ideas?" Melissa asked. "There's no such thing has a bad idea."

"Could we buy clothes and wear those?" Weston asked. 

"I think that would defeat the purpose of the challenge," Xidorn stated. "It is a designing contest. I don't think we have enough money for a good wedding dress, let alone three whole outfits." 

"I've hemmed clothes before for the needy," Melissa said. "So I have a few skills with sewing. Any ideas for a design? Aiden sweetie?"

Aiden shook his head and looked down at the ground. 


"This is why we need Hayden," Aiden stated. "If he was here, he'd know what to do. But its my fault he isn't."


"The magazines."

The Eagles turned to see Kalino, pulling a magazine off a shelf and flipping through it.

"This hotel is covered in fashion magazines," Kalino explained. "We can borrow some designs from them, simplify the designs for our skills, and then model it. There in fashion magazines, so they have to be fashionable."

Melissa clapped. "Brilliant idea Kalino!"

"Thanks," Kalino said. "Melissa, you model the wedding dress, I'll model the swimsuit and for the evening wear..."

"How about about Cynthia?" Melissa suggested. "I'm sure she'd look gorgeous in a evening dress."

"I second that!" Weston agreed. Melissa gave the twin a look.

Everyone else tried not to sweat too obviously.

Kalino forced a smile. "Mannnn, if that's what Cynthia wants, then totally! Right guys?"

The others nodded, trying to avoid eye contact.

Cynthia shrugged. "I don't care."

"Its settled then!" Vance shouted. "Lets get busier than a moth in a mitten!"


The teams got to work as best they could, their respective sewers trying to pass on what they know to their team members and crafting designs, eventually making some progress.

Over at the Fireworks, Lita and Ignacio were in the changing room. A metallic buzz was heard humming in the background.

Lita frowned as she looked at herself in the mirror; the dear head had been converted into a headdress. Between the antlers an American flag veil was suspended. The wedding dress was meanwhile created almost entirely of emerald like snake skin and had a long 'trail' of various feathers flowing behind it.

The metallic buzzing stopped. "So how bad is it?"

Lita twirled back and forth in the dress, almost tripping on the wooden clogs she wore. "I think my husband would leave me at the altar."

"That bad?" Ignacio asked, hidden behind a changing cover.

"There is one bright side," Lita admitted, pulling out a handful of cheese fries from her bra. "Riley made a bra with a cheese fry cup. I will never not wear it. How's yours?"

"Itchy and tight."

Lita turned around and nearly fell over again in her clogs; Ignacio walked out in a squirrel fur speedo, but more striking was that he was shaven. His facial hair was gone and his body was silky smooth. Even his hair was cut to a stylized, swept look. Ignacio looked almost identical to his modeling photos.

"Who they heck are you and what have you have done with my hairy friend," Lita teased.

Ignacio blushed. "I thought it might help if I look more like a model, maybe get some bonus points."

"Well you can certainly pull it off," Lita replied, turning back to the mirror and adjusting her headdress.

"You look great too Lita," Ignacio replied. "I wouldn't leave you at the altar."

Lita turned around, but stumbled in her clogs and fell forward. She grabbed onto the model for support, knocking right into him...with her chest.

"Phew, that was a close one," Lita exhaled.

Ignacio was turning all shades of red, as his face was plastered against Lita's...features. "I...I um...this is not okay, not that you, but I...I'm not that, its not...I got to go!"

Ignacio sprinted out of the modeling room. Lita raised an eyebrow, before shrugging and pulling out another handful of cheese fries.


The model dashed into the nearest room and held his face in hands. "What on earth Ignacio! Come on!"

"Iggy?"

Ignacio looked up to see Ness, tailoring a purple sequined vest. "Everything okay?"

Ignacio blushed. "Its nothing."

"You can tell me," Ness insisted. "We're teammates."

Ignacio sank to the floor. "Its...me and Lita were changing and she...she kind of smothered me in her chest."

Ness blinked. "Oh. You guys both okay?"

Ignacio shook his head. "Yes, yes we're both fine. But...I liked it."

Ness blinked. "And?"

"And Lita is with Griswold!" Ignacio shouted.

"Were you going to make a move on her?" Ness asked.

"Of course not," Ignacio replied. "Griswold and Lita are my friends."

"Then what's the problem?" Ness asked.

Ignacio buried his head into knees. "The problem is, I'm a huge hypocrite. I get so annoyed at everyone fawning and flirting with me, but I'm no better. I'm really attracted to Lita...and other girls too. But I shouldn't be! Everyone expects me to be some kind of pervert...and they're right."

Ness took a seat next to the model. "Okay, so you're attracted to people. You're also a teenager. And teenagers have hormones. Lots of hormones."

Ness blushed. "I just mean, its okay to be attracted to someone. I'm attracted to lots of people! Err...I guess I'm saying, its okay to feel things, it happens. You shouldn't be ashamed of that, its not a sin. But its what you do that matters."

Ignacio looked up and blushed. "Thanks Ness. When you explain it like that, I guess I kind of feel silly."

"Don't," Ness replied. "Its not silly at all. Now, lets go and win this challenge!"

Ignacio nodded and helped Ness back on to her feet.


On the right side, Melissa flipped through a wedding magazine as she sewed a white dress as carefully as she could. Looking up, she saw Aiden tiptoeing by.

"Yoohoo sugarlamb!" Melissa called.

Aiden froze and blushed. "Oh hey Melissa. How's the wedding dress coming?"

Melissa smiled. "Its been going wonderful, thank you for asking. Where have you been? I haven't seen you recently."

"I've been eavesdropping," Aiden admitted, "trying to figure out whose in that alliance."

Melissa shook her head. "Buttercup, I don't think there's any truth in that rumor. Cynthia even voted for Hayden."

Aiden raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, she could be in that secret alliance."

"Pardon me but no she's not," Melissa stated. "I know everyone seems afraid of Cynthia, but that's only part of who she is; the other part is a a wonderful friend...even if she doesn't want to be my friend. Listen, if you could help out with the challenge I need more embroidery. Take this to the fabric store and see if you can find some of this cloth."

"But I-"


Aiden slumped into the fabric store. "Let's see, Melissa said she needed some kind of embroidery..."

"What's with the long face sonny?"

Aiden pivoted around and nearly fell over gasping. "Is that...the President of The United States!"

To the left of the American was a crowd of buff, tall secret agents forming a circle around a concealed figure.

"Gee wilkers is that really you-"

"Call me The Prez," the figure in the circle stated. "Everyone does. I see by your shirt, you also another warm red, white and blue blooded American. What's your name?"

"Aiden," the boy managed to spit out. "Its just an honor to meet you."

"The honor is all mine," the president replied. "Now like I asked Aiden, what's wrong?"

"Oh you don't want to hear about it," Aiden said.

"I'm concerned with the concerns of the American population," the president answered. "Now, tell me what's up?"

The circle of bodyguards opened up and pushed Aiden inside, who blushed. "Well, I'm on this reality show and my friend got voted off. I feel like its my fault."

"Could you have stopped it?" the president asked.

Aiden scratched his head. "I don't think so. I know why he went home, even though I keep telling myself there's another reason. Honestly, I just wish...wish I could have told him how grateful I was we were friends. The truth is, I didn't accept him, or my girlfriend, and I still feel like a jerk for it."

"If you accept them now, then what's the problem?" the president asked.

"My beliefs haven't changed too much," Aiden admitted. "I mean, I really care for them and I'd defend them from anybody. I mean, the beautiful thing about America is that we're based on freedom; they are who they, and they should be here, whether we agree or not."

"Amen," the president agreed.

"But I didn't treat them like that at the time," Aiden said. "I don't know if I can ever make it up to Hayden, especially now that he's gone."

"The way I see it you can't change the past," the president stated. "But you can change what's happening right now, and that can change the future. As president, America's future is my biggest concern. So what I do what I can when I'm in the office to create a great future for America."

Aiden wiped away a tear. "That's beautiful. But what should I do?"

"If you continue to care for your friends then they'll know you accept them," the president said.

"Golly you're right," Aiden stated. "Except I haven't been there for Melissa. But I need to know! First I have to get that cloth."

"I'll pay for it," the president stated. "Take it and help your friend."

"Thank you so much," Aiden stated, running from the circle with the embroidery. "And um...can I ask you one question?"

The president laughed. "Of course. What's up?"

Aiden blushed. "Um, why are you not wearing any clothes?"

"I'm expressing my freedom as a citizen of America!" the president replied. "And I really just like shopping naked. Now go Aiden, go!"

Aiden nodded and ran off.


The scene cut back to the hotel, where Aiden was visiting...

"Cynthia," Aiden called.

Inside the dressing room, the pale girl was modeling a sleek, black dress. It was simple in design, but very formal.

"Listen I know we've had our issues," Aiden stated. "And you haunt me in my nightmares. But Melissa cares about you, and I believe you care about Melissa."

"Of course I do," Cynthia replied.

"Well for some reason, she thinks you don't," Aiden replied. "Please, can you talk to her? I'm worried about her."

Cynthia walked out immediately.


Soon, Cynthia found her way to Melissa's dressing room and threw open the door. Melissa was trying on her wedding dress.

"Oh hello Cynthia," Melissa greeted. "You look beautiful."

"You too," Cynthia said. "Aiden just spoke with me."

"What did he say?" Melissa asked.

"He told me something was wrong," Cynthia stated. "Between us."

Melissa turned away. "Its nothing. I don't want to bother you. I know you still probably need to-"

"-I can't help if I don't know what's wrong," Cynthia answered.

Melissa looked down. "I know we're different Cynthia, and that you like being alone. You don't have to be friend if you want to."

Cynthia walked up next to Melissa. "Its true, I don't mind being alone. I'm fine by myself. But, I also like being your friend."

Melissa gasped. "Really?"

"Obviously," Cynthia replied. "You're extremely kind and thoughtful. And you also don't question my knives or chainsaw."

"There one of the things I love about you," Melissa cheered, throwing her arms around her friend.

"Where did you even get this idea?" Cynthia asked.

"Well Easton was asking questions and I-"

"-Easton's an idiot," Cynthia stated.

"And every time I tried to hang out with you, you were with Weston," Melissa explained. "I guess I thought maybe he was your new friend."

"He's not," Cynthia stated. "You're my best friend."

Melissa let out a squee and glomped Cynthia again. "You're mine! But then, why are you and Weston always hanging out? And he's always whispering to you, and looking at you, and you're always eating together, and he thinks you look pretty in this dress and..."

Melissa froze and blinked. "Oh...oh! Cynthia, you and Weston?"

"Yes," Cynthia admitted. "We're dating."

"Oh my goodness that's adorable!" Melissa cheered. "You two look so cute together! Ooh, we should all double date! Do you prefer to be called Ceston or Wnythia?"

"We're keeping it a secret," Cynthia explained. "Both from that idiot Easton, and after what happened with Xidorn."

Melissa nodded. "I understand completely. I promise not to tell anyone."

"Attention everyone!" Rhonda's voice over the P.A. announced. "Our mystery celebrity judges have arrived! Its time to make it work!"


As the models waited backstage, the newcomers took their seats in the audience.

"Its my pleasure to announce the celebrity guests who will judge this challenge!" Rhonda announced. "Presenting the dynamic duo of...Chip McCazmerick & Flutina Weathers!"

Strutting out on stage were two strangers, a man and a woman. The man had chocolate brown hair seems to defy the laws of physics, with sparkly eyes the color of the sky when the sky is inexplicably green. Beside him, a woman whose luscious mane of bubblegum pink hair made the boldest of statements, wearing a tight white dress that certainly did favors for her bust.

"Its a pleasure to be here future fashionistas," Chip greeted. "Me and Flutina are excited-"

"-to see what you've designed today!" Flutina exclaimed. "Molting Eagles, show us what you got!"

Generic pop music, likely royalty free, begin playing as Kalino strutted out.

Rhonda smirked and watched the fashion show from the side. A ding went off, as the elevator arrived on the floor and dropped off the co-hosts.

“Excuse me?” Jenny shouted, marching over to Rhonda while wearing a large sunhat. “I thought me and Toby were going to be the judges! We even wore oversized hats for it!”

Toby slugged behind, wearing a rather tall top hat, with Elaine perched on top.

“Change of plans,” Rhonda answered. “I got celebrity cameos.”

Jenny stomped her feet. “That’s not fair. The readers want more of me, and they need to get it!”

Toby rolled his eyes. “Yes, lets give more scenes focused on all you do, like binge watching and eating all my snacks.”

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny shouted.

“Where did you find these cameos?” Toby asked.

“I knew them from something prior,” Rhonda replied. “Our home company is involved in one of their projects, so I gave them a call and asked for a favor.”

“When did you previously know them?” Toby questioned.

“A project from before we met,” Rhonda stated. “Let’s leave it at that.”

On the runway, Melissa took her final lap. She winked and blew a kiss towards Aiden, who blushed, but winked back and pretended to catch the kiss, putting it in his pocket.

"And now, the Fireworks!" Chip and Fluntia announced.

Ignacio came strutting out in the squirrel fur speedo, almost a completely different person from his smile to the way he walked. The judges blushed as Ignacio gave them a wink...

...however, at that moment the hems in the speedo burst out. The entire thing fell down, leaving Ignacio completely exposed on the stage. The model froze as others gave cheers and whistles.

“Oh my,” Flutina stated, “I thought we were at a fashion show Chip.“

“More like a peep show, huh Flutina?” Chip replied. “Going all-natural is so 2008.”

"Oh no," Ness whimpered. "I sewed that outfit."

"In hindsight we should have seen this coming," Seraphina realized. "I mean, we were kind of just tempting the world to strip Ignacio."

"You mean we didn't plan for this?" Griswold asked. "I thought that's why you suggested him for the speedo."

"This wasn't suppose to happen," Ness sighed, hitting herself in the head over and over again. "Its all my fault!"

Ignacio covered himself and ran backwards, right into Lita's bust.

"Girl down!" Lita screamed as she tripped in her clogs, "Girl down!"

She fell over, her cheese fries spilling all over the stage and slipping up Pascal. The two male models fell on top Lita, pulling the curtain down on top of them. Chip and Flutina shook their heads in unison.


A little bit later, the models got changed. Ignacio burying his face in his hoodie. Rhonda stood to the side as Chip and Flutina overlooked the newcomers.

"Share with us your thoughts Chip and Flutina," Rhonda stated.

"Well its obvious one team could model," Chip stated.

"And one team could not," Flutina added.

“Fireworks your show went up in smoke,” Chip said. “Wouldn’t you agree Flutina?”

Flutina nodded. “As nice as the show was, I came for the clothes. If that stunt proved anything, its that outfit was not made properly. How can anyone wear your clothes if they fall apart?” 

“The models were just unprofessional,” Chip added. “Though I do appreciate the practically of your bra."

“It’s always good to have a Victoria’s Secret compartment,” Flutina agreed. “But overall, Chip and I agree the winners are clearly…”

“...The Fizzled Fireworks!” the duo announced as they struck a pose. 

“Wait what?” Griswold asked. 

Riley fistpumped. “Aww yeah! "

“How did those pig lickers win when they were such a disaster?” Vance asked. 

“This was a fashion challenge designers,” Chip explained. “The Fireworks outfits are fashion that’s out of this world!” 

“Really?” Vance asked. 

“Really?” Seraphina questioned.  

“Really?” even Rhonda asked. 

“Really!” the two fashionistas announced. 

“It’s so unique and original,” Flutina exclaimed. “Its nothing like I’ve seen on any human being before.” 

“Its as if a Fashion Picasso designed it,” Chip continued. “Revolutionary!”

“Aww stop,” Riley replied. “I just thought, ‘what would I wear?'"

“Sorry Eagles,” Chip stated. “But your outfits were seen it, done it, threw it in the fireplace and watched it burn last season.”

“I think I actually burned a dress just like that last year at my annual bonfire,” Flutina admitted. “The fashion industry is one that’s constantly evolving, changing. There’s no time for outdated outfits.” 

“You heard the judges,” Rhonda stated. “Congrats Fizzled Fireworks!” 

The Fireworks clapped as Riley took a bow. 

“As a prize, you each win a twenty dollar shopping spree at the Tyson’s Corner Center!” Rhonda announced. While Eagles, you win an all expense paid trip to the Haunted Internet Cafe.”

“Cool, we won a prize!” Weston cheered. 


Why do I have a suspicion that our prize was meant for the last episode and Rhonda just forgot to give it to us then?” Seraphina asked. 


“That was wonderful fun Chip,” Flutina sighed. “You know I was thinking we should-”

“-host our own fashion themed reality show?” Chip finished. 

The two clapped in unison. 


That night, the Eagles arrived at the Haunted Internet Cafe. 

“Geez Eagles, you guys are getting pretty small,” Rhonda stated. “You’re about to get a whole lot smaller when you vote off one of your own tonight. One of you will not receive a refreshing lemon lime coffee-”

“-Ew,” Weston interrupted. “Have you guys run out of good flavors?” 

“All the coffee tastes like crap here kid,” Toby stated. 

“Is that because we’re in a scary hotel?” Weston said. “You know, to match the theme.”

“Its because I don’t care enough about any of you to learn how to make coffee,” Toby replied. 

“Ahem,” Rhonda coughed. “If I may continue, I have six cups of coffee and there are seven of you. The first cup of coffee goes to... Cynthia and Kalino.”

The two caught their cups without saying a word. 

“Weston, Xidorn.”

The twin sniffed his cup and coughed violently. 

“And...Vance."

The rodeo star raised his hand to catch it but was too slow. He put it back down quickly and turned away, as if nothing happened.

"Which leaves us with two…”

Melissa gasped and turned to match a confused Aiden. “What? But why?”

“I don’t know,” Aiden replied, wiping away a tear. 

The two grabbed the other’s hand. 

“And the last cup of coffee goes to…







































“...Melissa. Aiden, the Revolving Doors of Shame are that way.” 

Melissa and Aiden stood up and embraced. 

“What happened?” Cynthia asked.

Kalino sipped his coffee. 


“I’ve felt awful ever since Frannie left,” Kalino admitted. “I admit it's my fault and part of me regrets it. But I realize I have to do whatever’s best for me, to win the money. If i win, I plan on honoring my deal to Frannie, even if she still hates me. Even if she always hates me. And I wish she were here. But I can’t change the past and, as awful as it is to admit, maybe it's for the best.”

Kalino took another sip. “I heard Aiden was trying to find out more about our alliance and those rumors, so it was best we got rid of him. Sorry pal…”


“I’m sorry Melissa,” Aiden said, “I wanted to be with you till the end. I’m glad it's me over you though.”

“Don’t say that,” Melissa cried. “I don’t want you to go…”

Aiden kissed her cheek. “Don’t going acting like I did, all sad and pouty. I’ll see you again, we do both live in Washington, right?” 

Melissa half smiled. “I guess that’s true. Aiden, I know we’ve been through this and that but….that doesn’t matter; you’re wonderful.”

Aiden wiped away his tears. “You’re a one of kind girl Melissa; I’m so glad I got to meet you. I know you can do anything; you can win this show! I’ll be rooting for you.”

The two kissed one last time. Aiden marched to the Revolving Doors of Shame and saluted the Eagles before leaving. 

Chapter 11 If The Who Fits[]

Melissa sniffled, as she stared at the Revolving Doors of Shame.

“I’m really sorry Melissa,” Kalino stated. “We just thought that-“

“-Why didn’t you tell me?” Melissa asked.

Kalino, caught off guard, flinched. “What?”

“Even if I don’t fully understand why you decided Aiden,” Melissa explained, “I can’t judge you for voting; someone had to go. But you couldn’t have warned me? Couldn’t even give me a notice or ask me how I was voting?”

Melissa wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “Maybe if I had known, we could have enjoyed our last moments together…had a date or something…”

“We didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” Vance answered. “You know, since you’re so…”

Melissa walked off, not even glancing at her teammates.

The Eagles stood around for a moment, before departing. Only Cynthia and Weston remained.

“I think we might have broken Melissa,” Weston admitted.

Cynthia stared at the twin.

Weston gulped. “I have a feeling your mad, but I can’t tell.”

“Why did you vote Aiden?” Cynthia asked.

Weston gulped. “I heard Vance’s name was up, and we’re actually kind of, sorta friends now…so someone told me voting Aiden would help save him.”

“And you decided not to tell me,” Cynthia stated.

“I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” Weston stated. “I’m sorry.”

Cynthia stared. “I can’t blame you. Not when I did the same thing to Melissa by voting Hayden.”

Weston sighed and hugged Cynthia, nuzzling her cheek with his own. “I promise from now on we’ll talk about each elimination…are you still mad?”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Cynthia stated.


Melissa slouched in the confessional, her lip quivering. “I’m going to miss Aiden, but I’m not going to give up just because he went home. These past votes have showed me how little any of my teammates trust me, or think much of me… and I don’t know if I can trust any of them. I mean Cynthia is still my friend…even if she wants to keep me in the dark. And her boyfriend voted off mine.”

Melissa sunk even further in the confessional. “I think its fair to say that if we lose the next challenge its me…unless I can find a way to save myself.”


Meanwhile, the Fizzled Fireworks were enjoying their reward from the last challenge, a shopping spree to the mall.

Seraphina was leaving a bracelet store while Ignacio was walking and talking with Lita outside of a nearby pretzel stand.

Lita took another chunk out of her pretzel. “Is it wrong I’m spending all my money on food?”

Ignacio laughed. “That’s what they're here for.”

Lita finished off the rest of the pretzel in one gulp. “Well in that case let me see if I can find some cheese fries…”

Seraphina walked over to the hunk as he watched Lita walk away. “How’s the shopping?”

Ignacio jumped back for a second and blushed. “Oh uh…good. I bought some new clothes, since my clothes tend to…you know. How about you?”

Seraphina smiled, looking left and right, before opening her hand. Inside it were three charm bracelets and a button. “I got Lita, Ness and myself matching friendship bracelets.”

“I didn’t take you for the type,” Ignacio admitted.

"I’m not a jewelry person,” Seraphina replied. “But I didn’t really want anything here. I thought the girls would like them...and I’d maybe like something to remember them by.”

“And the button?” Ignacio asked.

Seraphina put the bracelets back in her shopping bag, revealing the button to be a sky blue unicorn. “It reminded me of Xidorn so I thought maybe he’d like it.”

“I’m sure he will,” Ignacio replied. “And hey listen, don’t worry about us voting you off because of your relationship. Nobody thinks it’s a big deal.”

Seraphina looked away. “Oh, yeah that's not a concern anymore.”

Ignacio pursed his lip. “Is everything okay? Did something happen?”

Seraphina shook her head. “Its…a bit of a long story.”

Ignacio sat on the park bench and patted a seat next to him. “I got time. Especially for a teammate.”


Meanwhile, Riley and Griswold were goofing off in arcade, playing a fighting game. Riley mashed the buttons in quick succession, causing her character to shout random Japanese words and launch a fireball, turning Griswold’s lady ninja into ashes. “Player One Wins!”

"Heck yeah I did!” Riley cheered.

Griswold chuckled, grabbing his sides. “Why I do keep playing games with you?”

“Cause I’m addictive,” Riley retorted, pulling out another quarter. “Hey, did you talk to Lita yet?”

Griswold shifted his eyes back and forth. “Well…no. But I will, I promise!”

Riley sighed and shook her head.

Griswold frowned, glaring for a second. “Why do you care anyway? Its my relationship.”

Riley raised an eyebrow. “Sorry I’m just trying to help. I’ll keep my nose out of it then. Even if this makes no sense.”

“What makes no sense?” Griswold asked.

“You dude,” Riley replied. “Acting like this! You’re so confident at challenges and talking to people usually; why does dating make you uncomfortable?”

“Maybe its cause I’ve never dated before,” Griswold explained.

“You’ve never been on reality TV, but that wasn’t a problem,” Riley countered. “I think its something else.”

Griswold sighed and sat leaned against the wall. “Yeah; I usually feel like I can do anything, but… when I try to talk to girls I feel small…I feel like I’m that little guy I was in middle school. I wasn’t good enough then. Maybe I’m not good enough for a relationship now.”

Riley sat down besides Griswold. “Okay, now I get it. You feel like you’re still that guy who couldn’t do anything.”

“I am that guy,” Griswold said. “I'm big enough to be a wall…but that doesn’t matter in a relationship. And without that, I’m still the loser I was…”

Riley flicked his nose.

Griswold rubbed his nose and stared at her. “Uh…ouch.”

I don’t care for pity parties,” Riley replied. “They're the only parties I don’t like. I don’t know why you’re saying that BS, because it isn’t true man. I mean, a loser? You’re a starting linebacker, leader of this team, and you have a great hair.”

“But in the past I was-“

“-different,” Riley interrupted. “Yeah, everyone’s different in the past. But we change and grow. I don’t care who you are in the past Gris, I care about who you are now.”

“But without my growth spurt-“

“Sure you’re a big guy,” Riley yelled. “But you’re more than that. I call you Gris-Bear not just cause you’re big, but cause you’re kind and caring like a teddy bear. You’re fun, hilarious and smarter than the average bear too. And that’s who you are now. You have to know that man.”

Griswold jumped up. “You’re right. This is ridiculous. I am confident. I’m not my muscles; I’m a grizzly bear, a bulldog and a fizzled firework!”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Riley cheered.

The two bumped fists.

“Thanks Riley,” Griswold stated. “You’re always there for me. You’re the most amazing bro I have."

“Cause you’re totally amazing Brosalina,” Riley replied. “And I’m glad you’re my bro. Now come on, best two out of three.”

“Fine,” Griswold laughed. “Let me get some broritos first; we’re going to need them.”

Riley smirked as the jock left, Easton walking up behind her dressed in survival gear.

“What’s with the get up dude?” Riley asked.

“Just in case I need it,” Easton replied, looking over his shoulder.


“Something is going on with Cynthia and my brother,” Easton stated. “I’m ninety nine percent sure that she is actually a monster, and I’ve seen tons of horror movies. So I know this is going to end with a showdown when she reveals her true form; so I’m preparing to step in and save my brother.”


“What are you and Gris up to?” Easton asked.

“Just having a pep talk,” Riley replied. “Man, I love that guy.”

Easton raised an eyebrow, causing Riley to laugh. “Dude, not like that. We’re homies. Griswold is not my type.”

“Why not?” Easton asked.

“I mean sure we like the same things, and he is funny, fun and totally sweet,” Riley admitted. “But he is in a relationship. Plus, Gris is not the kind of guy I date.”

“Well maybe you should look for a different kind,” Easton stated. “Because the person you described sounds pretty great.”

Griswold walked over with burritos. “Woah, digging this look Easton. Hope you don’t mind I got you a brorrito.”

“You know I don’t!” Easton chuckled.

“So what are we talking about?” Griswold asked, passing out burritos.

Riley rolled her eyes at Easton. “Nothing. Now let’s chow down so I can beat you again!”


In a shoe store, Pascal was admiring new shoes in a mirror as Ness watched on, sighing and blushing. A shopping attendant stood by.

“Geez these shoes sure as so spiffy,” Pascal stated.

“You sure do look nice,” Ness sighed. “Uh, with the shoes.”


“A lot has happened since this show started,” Ness admitted. “I think my luck is actually changing! I mean, here I am with the celebrity I’ve always crushed on. And with my birthday almost here, I figure I better use what luck I have…before things get ugly. I mean I believe, so I will achieve!”

Ness blushed even redder and giggled. “Wish me luck!”


“Wonderful choice sir,” the attendant remarked. “How about a new hat while we’re at it?”

Pascal froze, staring at the mirror and his orange knit cap. “Uh, no just the shoes.”

The attendant nodded and left. Pascal grabbed his hat and held it in his hands, studying it and feeling its texture. In the inside brim was the initials AP.

“You know I’ve never seen you without that hat,” Ness admitted. “Even before the show, at concerts or in your music videos. Where did you get it?”

“It was actually a gift,” Pascal stated. “From Amanda Picklestein. On the show, after we won our first challenge, she knitted it for me.”

Ness smiled a little. “You know, she really does miss you. I don’t know what’s between you guys, but it seems like you had a lot of history. She’s afraid to say something, but she’s worried you guys are no longer friends.”

Pascal placed back on his cap. “I’ll uh…talk to her. But there was something important I want to ask you Ness.”

Ness gasped, starting to breathe rapidly. “Y-y-yes?”

“We spend a lot of time together,” Pascal explained. “I really enjoy it. I mean, the others are nice but you’re really the only person I’m close with on this team.”

Ness started to sweat profusely. “I really enjoy spending time with you too.”

Pascal beamed. “So I was thinking…do you want to form an alliance?”

Ness’ face froze in a smile, the jinx pausing before exhaling. “An…alliance?”

“You know for voting,” Pascal stated. “I want both of us to go far and you’re someone I really trust, so how about it?”

Ness blushed again and smiled. “Well then yes. Let’s do it!”

“Yippe Skippy!” Pascal cheered, glomping the sweaty girl. “It’ll be great!”

“I bet,” Ness replied. “And I promise, I won’t ever vote for you.”

“Ooh same,” Pascal stated.

"Um..there’s something important I want to ask you,” Ness stated.

Pascal let go of Ness, who now couldn’t look the singer in the face. “Sure, what’s up?”

Ness turned almost halfway through her chair. “Uh…I don’t know if I can say it.”

“Hey its no big deal,” Pascal replied. “I want to know! You can tell me.”

Ness gulped and shut her eyes. “O…okay. So, um, we spend a lot of time together and I...I really like you. I think you’re really cool and kind and have had a crush on you since you started performing. Do you maybe want to... go out on a date with me?”

Pascal stared at her with wide eyes. “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”


"Ness just poured her heart out to me,” Pascal stated. “And I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t like her, but she just seems so hopeful and pitiable. I didn’t want to tell her no…”


“Ness,” Pascal stated. “I...I like you...”

Ness gasped and started to smile.

“But…”

Ness' smile immediately dropped.

“Not romantically though,” Pascal continued. “You’re really nice and cool-”

“-But not good enough,” Ness finished, turning away.

“No, no, no,” Pascal exclaimed. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to lie to you either. I’m sorry, I just don’t feel that way about you.”


“But I couldn’t,” Pascal continued. “I don’t like her like that and...something in the back of my head was...I don’t know. Thinking about it, I’d have that relationship like Kalino suggested. But to use Ness’ feelings like that? I don’t know if I could ever sleep again.”


Ness tried to hold back the tears.

She failed.

“It's fine, I totally understand. I’m sorry to bother you.”

“Ness-”

"I just need to…um lady things,” Ness blurted out. She ran out of her chair, holding her face in her hands.


At the park bench…

“…So that’s what happened between me and Xidorn,” Seraphina finished.

“Wow,” Ignacio replied.

Seraphina scratched the back of her head. “So...did I do the right thing? Was the rumor really the worst thing ever?”

Ignacio was a quiet for a moment. “Well...I feel like on certain reality shows that would be seen as a game move If it worked I’m sure people would applaud you for your strategy.”

“And this show?” Seraphina asked.

Ignacio shrugged. “I am not very familiar with this franchise, but Griswold says its unusual. The real thing is, do you think what you did was right?”

Seraphina scowled. “I don’t know! I mean, would you have done that?”

I can’t honestly confirm nor deny I would,” Ignacio confessed. “I want to win this show to make a better life for my family, but…I don’t know. But I do know, you are aware of how you feel about it.”

“I guess...I do feel it was the wrong thing to do,” Seraphina replied. “I don’t know why though. I mean it didn’t even work, and I just wanted to protect Xidorn.”

“You didn’t think he’d be okay on his own?” Ignacio asked.

Seraphina looked up at the ceiling. “I wanted to. I mean I know he’s not a kid. But I couldn’t believe it would all end fine; it felt stupid to. I just knew people would target him for us. Its one of those things that is too good to last, so it can’t! It has to end badly, you know?”

Seraphina looked at Ignacio, who scratched his chin. “I’m not Dr. Phil or anything, but I think this goes a little deeper into your psyche. If you think it's going to be bad, then will it not be? Are you making a self-fulfilling prophecy?”

“It did end badly,” Seraphina admitted. “Thanks for letting me vent Ignacio.”

Ignacio smiled. “Happy I could assist. So…what now?”

Seraphina shrugged. “I guess…I have some thinking to do. But I have to say something.”


Late that next morning at the Pentagram, most of the newcomers waited in line at the cafeteria. Rhonda strolled by, sipping a soda can.

“Hey Rhonda when is breakfast being served?” Xidorn asked. “Its almost eleven thirty.”

Rhonda shrugged. “We haven’t made breakfast for a while. Melissa’s been doing it. I’ll talk to Toby about cooking you some sausages or something.”

“Rhonda!” a voice called off in the distance. “You got a package! From Canada! Isn’t that crazy?”

Rhonda raised an eyebrow and walked off. A unified groan emitted from everyone’s stomachs.

Ignacio rubbed his chin as he stood with the bros. “Something has flummoxed me.”

“I have some Pepto in my room if it’ll help,” Easton suggested.

Ignacio shook his head. “I mean, I’m confused about Rhonda. Have anyone heard of her before this show?”

The others shook their heads. “Didn’t she say she was on a sketch show and Youtube?”

"Yes, I conducted research on that using resources in the Internet café,” Ignacio admitted. “Her videos don’t have many views, and you wouldn’t know she or her cohorts were on that sketch show without the credits. Wasn’t the original host rather famous?”

“In Canada,” Griswold replied, “where the original was filmed. He had some film success and other failed attempts, but Total Drama made him a household name. Though it was his ‘child’ so to speak."

“So no one else is curious how Rhonda became host of this reboot?” Igancio questioned. “How she contacted and convinced an entire network to put her in charge of a revamp of an acclaimed show, especially given she’s relatively youthful.”

“How old is she?” Easton asked. “Heck, Vance looks older than her…though he kinda looks older than everyone…”

“Most reality show hosts aren’t that famous till hosting,” Griswold pointed out. “And dudette’s clearly a fan; maybe that persuaded them. I heard she had to go to Canada and help with the newer seasons there to get this job; apparently the Canadians liked her.”

“I suppose,” Ignacio yielded. “Still, I feel the network would want someone with more experience, meet more Hollywood standards. I also question how she had the connections to secure two fashion icons for the last challenge. We lack a sufficient amount of information on her, and her toadies for that matter…”

The four’s stomachs growled again.

“No point in stressing with an empty stomach,” Riley said. “Who is up for broritos again?”

“Yeah!” Easton and Griswold cheered, high-fiving each other. Ignacio laughed and nodded.


The others waited in line as the bros left. Pascal eyed the exit Rhonda left and the line. He sighed, set his tray down and jogged out.

He stopped next to a mail cart, where Amanda Picklestein was sorting a letter.

“Amanda Picklestein,” Pascal called. “Hey, I thought I heard your voice.”

Mandy turned and forced a smile. “Oh, hey Pascy-Wascy. What’s up?”

“Not much,” Pascal replied. “Breakfast has been cancelled, and I thought that…maybe we should get lunch and you know, catch up. It’s been awhile.”

Mandy sighed and shook her head. “No, I wouldn’t want to bother you. I have to pack anyway…”

“Pack?” Pascal asked.

Mandy turned her back and pushed the cart away. “Sorry Pascal…maybe we’ll run into each other again. Don’t let me stop you from enjoying your time here.”


Still in the line, Vance tapped his foot and pulled on the tips of his mustache. “Well where is Melissa anyhow? You don’t think she’s still upset, do you?”

“We just voted off her boyfriend without warning,” Xidorn replied.

“Yeah,” Vance said, “but is she still mad?”

Xidorn sighed, as Melissa walked into the kitchen.

“Oh there you are!” Weston cheered. “What’s for breakfast?”

Melissa picked up a book, and then looked up at the guys. “Sorry, I scheduled a reading for blind people at the retirement home. Just because they can no longer see, doesn’t mean they still can’t enjoy stories.”

“But what about our grub?” Vance asked.

“I’m truly sorry,” Melissa replied. “I’m just not really in the mood for baking today.”

Vance’s jaw dropped and he started to sniffle. “You mean…no pastries today?”

Kalino sighed. “Melissa, we’re sorry about Aiden. You know it was nothing personal.”

“Not talking to someone about two of the three past votes feels personal,” Melissa admitted. “I’m not trying to take it that way-“

“-We didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” Weston said. “Really!”

“We just didn’t want you to get hurt,” Kalino explained. “I mean it was tough, and that on your heart we thought would be tooooooo much.”

Melissa shook her head. “My life isn’t one big ray of sunshine. I mean you know how many people tell me I’m evil for believing in Allah? How many times people have egged my house for not celebrating Easter? Or how many of my fellow Muslims criticize me because I believe I don’t have to wear a hijab? Or do you think that I’ve never seen death or sadness when I volunteer at a hospital or a homeless shelter? I know the world is a big scary place. So next time, don’t try to protect me or spare my feelings.”

Melissa walked off, the Eagles in line looking dejected while the Fireworks whispered amongst themselves.

Lita, Ness and Seraphina stepped out of line. All of them wore their matching bracelets.

“Whelp, looks like we’re getting pizza,” Lita stated.

Ness scratched her head. “Mmmhmm.”

“You alright sweetie?” Lita asked. “You’ve been quiet all day. Is what happened with Pascal at the-“

“-No,” Ness interrupted. “I’m…I’m totally over that. I’m just…admiring this bracelet Seraphina got us.”

“Right?” Lita asked. “It was such a sweet thing to do girl.”

Seraphina blushed. “Its nothing really, I just wanted to give you guys something for being great roommates…and great friends.”

Ness and Lita smiled. “That’s it girls, group hug time!”

Lita pulled Ness and Seraphina in an embrace.


I’m really worried,” Ness admitted, shifting her eyes back and forth. “Today is officially my sixteenth birthday, which means something really horrible is going to happen. But its really quiet…too quiet…”


A crackling noise was heard over the loudspeakers. “Attention newcomers! Report to gaming room at five tonight. Or else.”

Ness’ eyes grew wide as she swallowed a lump in her throat.

Seraphina frowned. “Okay, that’s weird. The next challenge shouldn’t be until a couple of days or so.”

“Maybe its some new kind of twist,” Lita predicted.

“You know Seraphina maybe you should do a reading or something,” Ness suggested, her voice shaking just a bit. “Give us a prediction of what’s coming.”

“If you want me to I can,” Seraphina replied.

“You know we're always up for some physic something,” Lita stated, Ness nodding.

Seraphina sat down at a table, pulling out her tarot cards. Closing her eyes and shuffling the deck, she laid out a single card. Flipping it, the card depicted an archaic painting of a hunched figure, struggling to carry ten poles. What looks to be a small town is in the distance, but the figure cannot see beyond the load in his arms.

“The Ten Of Wands,” Seraphina stated. “This card means great adversity is head.”

“So it is a challenge,” Lita sighed.

“Likely but it may mean much more than that,” Seraphina clarified. “The card implies an internal pressure, struggle within ourselves.”

“Like indigestion?” Lita asked. “Dang, I knew I shouldn’t have had all that mall food.”


In their secret office, Rhonda sighed and chugged the rest of her drink. A parcel sat at her desk, the stamp having a maple leaf. “Everything’s ready, right?”

“Weeeee!” Jenny giggled, spinning in a wheelie chair with Elaine.

"Ugh,” Rhonda groaned while banging her head against the table.

“Relax,” Jenny replied. “I got everything taken care of on my end. What about you?”

Rhonda smiled a little. “We’re sold out.”

"Sold?” Toby asked, looking up from his phone.

“We’re strapped for cash, so I figured ten dollars a seat wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Rhonda admitted. “Still, I’m a bit nervous about this. I’ve come up with at least seventeen ways this could backfire…now eighteen.”

“Rhonda we’ve been planning this since the snow challenge,” Jenny stated. “Hey, remember that readers? When I said I had a plan? Yeah, we actually remembered the plot we set up this time!”

Rhonda nodded and opened her package, pulling out a letter and stuffed manatee.

“What’cha you got there?” Jenny asked.

Rhonda smiled to herself as she read the letter, wiping away a tear. “Its something from an old friend…”

Jenny and Toby looked at each other. “Since when does she have friends besides us?”

“I don’t even think we count,” Jenny whispered back. “Well okay Rhonda, I got slacking off to do. See you soon for my totally awesome, full-proof plan!”

Toby rolled his eyes. “Its not like your plans haven’t failed or backfired. Except for every occasion.”

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny yelled. “Listen, we need to stir up the drama. I’ve created a drama bomb. Tonight, we're setting it off…”


The day went on and eventually five o’clock came. The newcomers arrived in the game room. The lights were off, only a few candles lit. As he entered, Xidorn flicked the light switch, but to no avail.

“Come in. We’ve been waiting.”

Jenny sat in an unopened recliner, petting Elaine, while Toby stood behind her. The newcomers gathered on a carpet in the center of the room.

“Oh hello Ms. Jenny,” Melissa greeted. “Where is Ms. Rhonda?”

“You’ll see her soon enough,” Jenny replied. “But first, is everyone here?”

Seraphina sighed and reluctantly stepped into the room. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Jenny smirked, reaching for the recliner’s lever and slowing pushing it down. “Oh please. I mean…”

“Ahhh!”

The floor disappeared from under the newcomers, sending them falling down a trapdoor into complete darkness.

“What could possibly go wrong?”


Moments later, the newcomers moved around.

"Uhh…” Griswold moaned. “What happened?”

“Um, is anyone else having some trouble moving?” Melissa asked, struggling back and fourth.

Suddenly the room lit up from all sides, blinding the newcomers. As their eyes adjusted to the lights, the teens noticed there were in the torture chamber in the center of the catacombs.

The room had been modified with spotlights hanging from the wall, while interns operated large spotlights to the left and right. Immediately, they discovere they were restrained into rows of electric chairs; blue for the Eagles and red for the Fireworks.

“What the heck is going on?”

“This is part of the challenge right?”

“How did we even end up perfectly landing in chairs?”

“Did I leave the stove on?”

“Aw quit being babies,” a certain redhead’s voice announced. We’re just getting ready to play…”

“...Who's Really On My Team?” a crowd shouted, clapping and cheering.

Seraphina squinted, seeing shapes of people in the darkness. “What? Did they get an audience for this challenge?”

Ascending from the ground to the right of the newcomers was a podium, where Jenny waved at the glaring teens. The crowd erupted in applause. Toby sat in a lawn chair behind the podium, staring at his phone with Elaine on his shoulder.

“Thanks for dropping in newbies,” Jenny said, pausing for the audience’s laugh. “You ready to start the challenge?”

“I’m guessing it involves ambushing us in this contraption?” Ignacio asked.

Jenny rolled her eyes. “Duh! For today’s challenge, we’re going to do a sort of game show. I’ll ask a question to each team about someone. You’ll answer who it is. Answer correctly, and you score a point. The team with the most points at the end wins. Simple, right?”

“That still doesn’t explain locking us in here like opossums in a whiskey barrel,” Vance stated.

“Its to prevent cheating,” Jenny explained. “This challenge is about seeing how well you all know each other. So if the question is about you, you can’t answer. If you do, your team loses a point.

"You can’t try to give hints or talk with your team about it either, or your team loses a point. These chairs will prevent that, or you from trying to guess by looking at your teammates."

Each chairs’ right arm flipped, revealing a joy buzzer at the end.

“To answer just hit the buzzer,” Jenny continued. “First person to hit it gets to answer, but only that person can answer. Some answers may have more than one right person; if you can give more than one right answer, then you’ll score a point for each answer. Ooh, and answer wrong and your team loses a point!”

“It honestly sounds easy enough,” Xidorn admitted. “So what’s the catch?”

Jenny pretended to gasp. “Catch? Isn’t a trapdoor enough of surprise? That does remind me though, if neither team answers a question in a round, we’ll do a challenge to award someone a point. Pairs from each team will compete against each other in a small challenge, a little game of…”

“...Dump The Chumps!” the audience cheered.

“Wait do what?” Griswold asked.

“Since there are no further questions,” Jenny continued, “let’s get started. And folks at home, feel free to play along. See if you know the answers! Fireworks, you’re first. Whose favorite musician is Faith Hill?”

Riley slammed the buzzer. “Everyone knows that my bro, Gris Bear!”

“Correct!” Jenny announced as the audience clapped.

“Guilty as charged,” Griswold laughed.


Lita tugged on her scarf. “I didn’t know Griswold liked Faith Hill…”


“Eagles, whose hometown is in Wisconsin?” Jenny asked.

Cynthia pressed the buzzer. “Melissa.”

“Correct!” Jenny cheered. “Now then…”

In post-production, the episode was edited to have a montage. It started with scenes of Jenny asking questions…

“Who loves listening to One Rejection?”

“Who enjoys smashing watermelons with jackhammers?”

“Who dreams of owning monkey butlers?”

“Who is from Nebraska?”

“Who can’t handle their caffeine?”

“Who mends clothes as part of their church?”

“Who is on the school’s track team?”

“Whose favorite book series is the Helga Porter series?”

“Who dreams of becoming a high school science teacher?”

“Who speaks Portuguese?”

“Who says they look great in a prom dress?”

“Who favorite console is the Gamecube?”

The montage then displayed a cut of different contestants answering.

“Ness!” Lita stated.

“Cynthia,” Weston swooned.

“That’s so Riley!” Griswold stated.

“I believe that was Kalino,” Melissa stated.

“Pascal,” Ness remembered.

“Melissa,” Kalino stated.

“Easton!” Riley shouted.

“Ooh, Xidorn!” Weston stated.

“Ignacio!” Lita shouted.

"Weston,” Cynthia stated.

“Griswold,” Seraphina laughed.

“Kalino plays that all the time,” Vance stated.

The montage ended, focusing back on Jenny. “Correct! With that, we’re tied! Fireworks, which of your teammates lists The Notebook as one of their favorite movies?”

Griswold slammed the buzzer. “That’s an easy one; Lita.”

“Wrong!” Jenny shouted. “On one of the easy questions too.”

Griswold titled his head. “Huh?

Lita sighed and hid her face in her scarf.

Zzzzzzzztttttttttt.

An electric wave went through The Fizzled Fireworks’ chairs, shocking all of them.

“Oops, did I forget to mention punishments are given for wrong answers?” Jenny asked. “Ha ha, must have slipped my mind.”

“So then whose favorite movie is it?” Griswold asked.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Jenny replied. “What matters, is that the Fireworks just lost a point.”


“I actually really enjoy The Notebook,” Ignacio admitted, wiping away a tear. “I know it's flawed but...it touched me emotionally okay?”


“Let’s move on to the Molting Eagles!” Jenny announced.

“Pssh,” Vance scoffed. “Y’all just give us the win already. I mean this here challenge ought to be for babies its so easy!"

“I couldn’t agree more,” Jenny replied, smirking and pulling out a set of red notecards. “Let’s make it a little more challenging. Eagles, who on your team doesn’t actually know how to read?”

The Molting Eagles stood motionless. Vance's eyes grew wide and he looked back and forth, as if trying to look at his teammates. Xidorn cast a glare at Jenny, flipping her off.

“Ooh, times up,” Jenny giggled, turning to another notecard. “Looks like the Fireworks have a chance to catch up. So Fireworks…hahaha! Ha, sorry, I’m just..haha…there’s a photo with this question. So, who use to be extremely, morbidly obese when they were a kid? Hahaha…”

Lita blushed and further buried her head in her scarf. The other Fizzled Fireworks looked around, scratching their heads or raising their eyebrows.

“Times up again,” Jenny sighed. “Here’s an easy one for the Eagles; who is dating each other on your team?”

Weston gulped. Melissa put her hand on her heart, but refused to move towards the buzzer. At the last second Kalino yawned and pressed the buzzer.

“Mannnn I’m pretty sure it's Weston and Cynthia,” Kalino stated.

“Correct,” Jenny stated.

Nearly everyone gasped and tried to cast a look towards the couple in question.

“Wait seriously?” Easton asked.

“Its true,” Weston admitted. “Cynthia and me are a couple.”

“A really cute one too,” Melissa added.

“You’re actually dating Cynthia?” Easton asked. “Like, by choice?”

“Shut up!” Weston shouted. “Yes, I’m dating the most amazing girl in the world. I’m glad it's official, cause I’m proud to be with Cynthia!”

“I’m happy and proud to be with Weston too,” Cynthia stated.

The newcomers responded either by sighing ‘awwww’ or giving a concerned look.

“Aw shucks,” Weston giggled. “So uh...yeah, shut up and suck on an egg Easton!”

Easton crossed his arms and faced away. “Its your funeral.”

“How did you know Kalino?” Melissa asked.

“I thought everyone knew,” Kalino replied. “I mean, there always sucking face in the broom closet.”

Weston blushed. “Hehehe well…”

“Eww cooties,” Jenny gagged. “Let’s get going already. Fireworks, who’s father walked out on their family?”

The Fireworks shifted around.

“Once again time is up,” Jenny complained. “Let’s hope the Eagles can do better; who has had their house egged on Easter before?”

Cynthia pressed her buzzer. “Melissa.”

“Correct!” Jenny shouted.

Melissa sighed and shook her head. “I suppose you’re enjoying this Miss Jenny, shaming and humiliating everyone.”

“Are you kidding?” Jenny asked. “I’m actually having fun while doing my job! Let’s keep rolling! Fireworks, this person’s best friend and crush ended up marrying their dad! Who is this?”

Seraphina sighed and a few seconds before the end pressed the buzzer. “I’m...I’m really sorry. Ness.”

“Correct,” Jenny replied.

Pascal sighed. “Oh Ness, I-”

“-Can we not talk about it,” Ness shouted. “Please.”

“Sure thing,” Jenny said, “After all it is the Eagles’ turn. Eagles, who grandfather told them to go to hell on their deathbed?”

None of the Eagles ended up pressing their buzzers.

Jenny scoffed. “Lame! Fireworks, whose family is so poor they can’t even afford a TV?”

None of the Fizzled Fireworks answered.

“Alright then,” Jenny scoffed. “Speaking of poor, Eagles who on your team is the poorest?”

None of the Eagles answered.

Jenny smirked. “No answers this round folks. So it looks like its time for…”

“...Dump The Chumps!” the audience shouted.

“But we still don’t know what the titular name alludes-”

A trapdoor appeared in front of Ignacio’s chair, which jerked forward and dumped him down. Ness, Cynthia and Xidorn followed.


The newcomers found themselves piled on top of each other, this time on the burned remains of the theater.

“Welcome newcomers,” a familiar voice greeted. “Are you ready to play...”

“...Dump The Chumps!”

“We're still unaware of what that means,” Ignacio murmured.

The rookies looked up to see Rhonda, dressed in lime green tuxedo, which made almost everyone curious if the eighties had called and asked for it back yet.

In the auditorium was another audience of fans that sat in the singed seats. The newcomers could see them more clearly now, noticing many had ‘I Heart Total Drama’ T-shirts or other fan memorabilia. The camera lingered on two fans in the front row, a purple haired girl and a brunette who slouched in her seat.

“About time this started,” the purple girl stated. “I was afraid it’d be another thing Rhonda cancelled.”

“I was hoping it was cancelled,” the brunette girl sighed.

“Thanks for dropping in newbies,” Rhonda joked. The only reaction from the audience was the brunette girl coughing. “It sounds like the cat’s out of the bag upstairs. But we’ll be doing the same thing for this challenge!”

Rhonda threw two sacks towards each pair. The sacks fell to the ground as bunches of black cats fell out.

“The pair to fill back up their bags with the cats...” Rhonda announced.

Cynthia pulled out a knife.

“...alive,” Rhonda added, “scores a point. Go!”

Cynthia lowered her knife.

Ness swooned as she bent down in front of a black kitten. “Aww! Come here sweetie, we do-”

“-Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!” the cat hissed, jumping on to Ness’ face and began clawing her.

Cynthia held the bag as Xidorn shivered and looked away, while simultaneously trying to put a cat in the sack.

“Look at what you’re doing,” Cynthia stated.

“S...sorry,” Xidorn whimpered. “ I’m just... really scared to make eye contact.”

Cynthia only stared and didn’t blink. The cat screamed and clawed its way out of Xidorn’s arms.

“Wait a minute,” Xidorn said, “ this gives me an idea.”

“Ahhh!” Ness screamed, as more and more of the cats attacked her.

“Hold on Ness,” Ignacio stated, trying to throw the cats in a bag. “I’m trying to get them all here. Good plan to lure them to you.”

“This wasn’t a plan,” Ness groaned.

Ignacio picked up a black cat, which hissed and scratched the hunk, completely clawing away his shirt.

“Hubba hubba!” the purple fangirl cheered, adding a whistle. Ignacio tried to cover himself and dropped bag, releasing the cats on Ness.

“We have a winner!” Rhonda announced, as Cynthia chased the final cat into Xidorn’s bag, which shook with fright.

“Talk about scaredy cats,” Rhonda joked. The purple girl imitated cricket chirps. “Anyway, the Molting Eagles score a point!”

“Woo!” Xidorn cheered, holding his hand out. Cynthia turned to the truth teller, who gulped. The floor fell from underneath them, and the Eagles disappeared. The other cats were escorted away by interns.

Rhonda smirked. “And so that means its time to…”

“...Dump The Chumps!” the audience cheered.

What does that mean!” Ignacio shouted. “Someone just give me an explanation!”

On cue, a giant bucket hovered overhead the Fireworks, tipping over and pouring cat litter over them.

“How’s that for an explanation?” Rhonda asked.

Ness coughed up a chunk of litter. “Please tell me this isn’t used.”

“Only the best for you,” Rhonda replied with a wink. A trapdoor opened up underneath the two.

Ness and Ignacio fell back into their chairs.

“What happened?” Griswold asked, sniffing the air. “What is that thing?”

“Don’t ask,” Ignacio groaned.

“Yeah, I’ll do the asking,” Jenny insisted. “Fireworks, who’s gotten a full ride to the college of their choice when they graduate?”

Griswold slammed the buzzer. “Easton.”

“Correct,” Jenny replied, as Weston rolled his eyes.

“Now Eagles,” Jenny said, “whose family thinks they’ll never amount to anything?”

Kalino glared at the redhead.

“Times up,” Jenny stated. “Fireworks, who works a job to support their family after immigrating here?”

Lita groaned as she pressed the button. “Ignacio.”

“Correct,” Jenny replied.

“Its fine,” Ignacio stated. “I’m not afraid to admit I’m not rich, nor that I help my family when they need it.”

"That’s very touching,” Jenny said. “But I don’t care. So Eagles, who on your team was almost held back in high school for failing math?”

The Eagles looked around for a moment.

“That’s Weston,” Easton whispered to himself. “I helped him study for weeks for the final so he’d pass…”

“Excuse me!” Jenny shouted. “I heard that Easton! You gave away the answer! That's cheating, so now your team loses a point!”

“Oh come on!” Easton yelled. “The Eagles didn't even hear me!"

“Whose the super cool host here?” Jenny asked.

“Not you,” Toby stated.

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny yelled. “You know, I’m actually going to take away a point for the Fireworks and give it to the Eagles! So meh!”

Easton groaned as the Fireworks sighed. Weston sighed too, while the other Eagles shrugged.

“Now Fireworks,” Jenny stated. “Who secretly resents their sibling?”

No one reacted for a moment. Easton hovered over the buzzer, but pulled away. Cautiously, Pascal tapped his buzzer. “It’s Easton, right?”

“Wrong!” Jenny screamed. “I said secretly, and that’s no secret. So Eagles, who was named after a song?”

“What kind of a question is that?” Seraphina asked. “I mean you ask us about our secrets and past, and then ask whose named after a song?”

“These questions are about information that shows how well you really know each,” Jenny replied. “Information that is either shocking or someone keeps as a secret for some reason. Its not my fault you don’t know; I mean you’ve been together for around a month and are ‘so called’ friends. Maybe you don’t know each other as well as you thought.”

The teens were silent for a moment.

“So I take the Eagles don’t have an answer,” Jenny replied. “Fine then. Fireworks, whose parents died in a car crash when they were only a baby?”

Again, no one answered.

“Way too catch back up,” Jenny said. “Eagles, whose never been home since they ran away as a kid?”

The Molting Eagles didn’t react.

“No answers again,” Jenny chuckled. “Then its time to…”

…Dump The Chumps!” the audience cheered.

The floor opened up again as Riley and Griswold fell through this time, followed by Kalino and Melissa.


The pairs each landed in their own separate piles of bananas on the burned stage.

“It sounds like things have been going bananas,” Rhonda chuckled. “So its time for a banana based challenge! First pair to get rid of their pile first wins. But for the losers we’ll…”

“…Dump The Chumps!” the audience cheered.

“Now no monkeying around,” Rhonda teased. “And…go!”

The four newcomers began peeling and eating bananas. Griswold and Riley were chugging them down, while Kalino and Melissa struggled.

“This is a pretty tasty challenge,” Riley admitted. “I actually-ow!”

Riley turned her head and was pelted by another banana. Kalino was tossing bananas towards the two jocks.

“What gives?” Griswold asked. “That’s totally cheating!”

“Oh dear,” Melissa said, trying to finish another banana.

Kalino shrugged. “Sorry dude, but there’s no rule against it.”

“That is true,” Rhonda admitted.

Griswold smirked. “Alright then.”

The linebacker jumped up and grabbed his entire pile of bananas, tossing them on top of the Eagles.

“And with that, the Fireworks score a point!” Rhonda announced as the audience cheered.

Riley and Griswold pounded their fists, before the floor disappeared under them.

“So once again,” Rhonda said, “its time to…”

“…Dump The Chumps!” the audience cheered.

Above Kalino and Melissa a barrel was suspended, shaking with howling sounds emerging from it.

“Oh no,” Melissa gasped. “Please don’t let that be-“

“A barrel of monkeys,” Rhonda replied. “Specifically a barrel of hungry howler monkeys.”

Kalino and Melissa looked down at the bananas as the barrel tipped over. “Ahhhhhh!”


Moments later, Melissa and Kalino dropped back into their seats, their clothes in tatters and covered with mysterious brown stains.

“About time,” Jenny yawned. “Alright, I’m getting the vibe you guys are not enjoying this as much as I am.”

“What gave you that idea,” Kalino stated, brushing a banana peel off his torn sleeve.

“Also I'm really tired,” Jenny stated. “This was way too much work for me. So let’s do one final round. I’ll select one random question and if you get this question right, you earn three points. Eagles, you’re up first.”

Jenny shuffled her notecards then drew off the top card and immediately broke into a grin.

“Oh no,” Xidorn whispered.

“Don’t worry,” Jenny said. “Its actually rather simple; who has a hidden immunity flash drive?”

The Molting Eagles and even the Fizzled Fireworks eyes grew wide.

“Then its time for the Fireworks,” Jenny announced. “Alright, here’s another simple one Fireworks…who have you been saying happy birthday to today?”

Ness almost gasped, stopping herself by biting her lip. The other Fireworks weren’t sure how to react.

“Well someone is not having a happy birthday,” Jenny giggled. “Since neither team answered it looks like its time for…”

…Dump The Chumps!” the audience cheered, as all the teens screamed and fell through the floor onto the burnt stage.

Rhonda rubbed her hands together. “Welcome to the Sudden Death match. For the Eagles, we’ll take Vance and Weston…while for the Fireworks, we’ll have Pascal and Seraphina!”

“Great,” Pascal and Seraphina muttered under their breath.

“Its about time for this challenge to be over,” the purple girl said. “Its gotten so long no one is going to finish reading it.”

“They shouldn’t bother starting it,” the brunette girl replied.

“For this challenge,” Rhonda explained, “you’ll prepare to have some very fine dining. You’ll feed your partner a small three course meal…”

“Woohoo!” Vance cheered. “I’m always for some free grub.”

“…Using your feet,” Rhonda finished.

The newcomers and even some of the audience nearly threw up.

“We know you’re still growing kids,” Rhonda said. “So we made sure this meal has plenty of protein for you. First to finish wins. Oh, and try not to vomit; the food you spit back up is still the food you have to eat…so you’ll have to eat it again.”

At that point, Melissa ran backstage and retched.

Interns grabbed the competitors and chained each to a pole not too far apart. They left silver platters by the newcomers’ feet while taking off their socks and shoes.

“Eww,” Pascal grimaced.

“Eh, your feet are just as gross as the rest of you,” Seraphina stated.

“The winners will get three extra points,” Rhonda stated. “And the team with the most points will win a special reward! Yet the losers will face elimination, while we…”

“…Dump The Chumps!” the audience cheered. On that cue, a trashcan suspended on a high wire moved to the center stage. The newcomers glanced at it. The knowing few of them cringed.

“Now then,” Rhonda said, “Enjoy your first course…of escargot salad.”

Kicking aside the lids, the first tray contained a Greek salad covered in snails.

Smirking, Pascal picked up salad leaves in his toes and shoved in it in the psychic’s face. “Here comes the train! Open wide.”

Seraphina didn’t react and instead started eating as quickly as she could while trying to pick up a snail for her partner. The Molting Eagles were off to a slow start, as Vance struggled to pick up any salad.

“What in tarnation!” Vance screamed as a snail slipped out his toes. “These little fellows are too slippery.”

“Hee hee,” Weston laughed as a snail crawled on his heel. “And they tickle!”

Pascal almost gagged. “Wait they’re still-mmphhh!”

Seraphina smirked as she shoved snails in the singer’s mouth. “Be careful Pascal. I’d hate for you to vomit.”

“And the Fireworks almost finished with their first course,” Rhonda announced, as Seraphina and Pascal moved towards the next dish. “Let’s see if they can handle course two…roasted road kill opossum.”

Pascal kicked away the tray to reveal a skinned and cooked opossum, a tire track still imprinted on it.

“Mmm,” Weston sighed, sniffing the air while slurping up a snail.

“Come on now partner!” Vance stated. “We got to catch up!”

Pascal smirked as he kicked Seraphina in the chin, dropping an opossum leg across her face and on the stage floor. “Whoops, sorry Seraphina. My leg slipped.”

Seraphina smiled and reached for it. “Oh no problem, old buddy. It happens.”

Seraphina swung her foot at the singer, right in the crotch. The singer let out a high pitched yelp. “Like how my foot just slipped. Sorry about that.”

“You could stop me from having kids,” Pascal winced.

“The world can thank me later,” Seraphina stated, trying to kick Pascal’s shin.

Meanwhile, Weston nibbled on an opossum leg. “Mmm, tastes like chicken!

“Looks like the Eagles are taking the lead. And they’re going for dessert…”

Weston kicked off the lid, revealing a cup of something dark brown with a spoon sticking out.

“You ever had that dish of chocolate ice cream, with cookie bits and gummy worms?” Rhonda asked.

“Ooh a cup of dirt!” Weston exclaimed. “I love those! We get to have that?”

Rhonda smirked. “That was the plan…till someone ate all the ice cream.”

Rhonda looked to stage left, where Jenny and Toby were scarfing down bowls of ice cream.

“So we decided to go with actual cups of dirt!” Rhonda announced.

Pascal grimaced as he kicked off the Firework’s own lid.

“We have to catch up,” Seraphina sighed, dropping to the floor. She tried to use both feet to balance the cup…

Vance trembled as Weston dangled a spoon between his toes. “Is…is that all? D…dirt? Psh, why we use to eat dirt clods as a kid back on the farm all the time.”

Vance took the spoon to his lips as Rhonda shifted her eyes. “It actually isn’t all. Like I said, it’s a protein diet. So instead of gummy worms…”

Vance looked down at the cup, where a worm wiggled its head out. Vance’s mouth dropped, failing to notice the incoming spoon. The cowboy accidentally swallowed it, the spoon becoming lodged in his throat. The rodeo star hacked violently. Weston tried reaching out his feet his friend, but he wasn'r having an easy time.

Seraphina meanwhile shoved Pascal’s face in the cup. “Chug! Chug! Chug!”

“Don’t worry Vance I got you!” Weston shouted, lashing his feet out, accidentally hitting the cowboy in the stomach.

“Uh oh,” Weston stated, as the cowboy kneeled over. He proceeded to upchuck all over the floor. The spoon flew out of his throat, landing and sticking on the younger twin’s face.

“Eww!” the audience gagged, many running out of the room. Melissa once again ran backstage, with Ignacio and Lita following after her.

“Look on the bright side Eagles,” Rhonda stated, “you don’t actually have to eat the vomit!”

“Yay!” Weston cheered, tossing the spoon away.

“Because the Fizzled Fireworks have finished their course!” Rhonda announced, motioning to Pascal who kicked aside the empty cup and looked ready to heave at any moment. Seraphina held her stomach in pain but smirked at the singer.

“Yay!” Weston repeated, before dropping his expression. “Wait…”

“Congrats Fizzled Fireworks,” Rhonda stated, interns untying the chained contestants. “You’ve earned the three extra points. Which means the winners are…The Molting Eagles!”

“WHAT?” the Fireworks shouted.

The spotlights fell on the Eagles, Kalino and Xidorn hoisting a dazed Vance on their shoulders. Their dejected looks changed to confused ones as the audience cheered.

“Yay?” Weston asked. “I think.”

“But we won the three course meal!” Pascal insisted.

Rhonda nodded. “You did. And your team got three extra points to your final score. But the Molting Eagles still have one more point than you.”

Seraphina glared. “So those three points were-“

“-basically meaningless,” Rhonda stated.

Pascal forced a smile. “So what you’re saying is…I ate dirt…FOR NOTHING?”

“I mean I wouldn’t say for nothing,” Rhonda replied. “Our audience seemed to enjoy it.”

The audience laughed and cheered, though quite a few were too grossed out to stay.

“As winners, the Molting Eagles will enjoy a three course dinner under the stars tonight,” the hostess stated, ignoring the glare from Vance and his deputy Xidorn.

“As for the Fizzled Fireworks,” Rhonda said, “you get your own ‘reward’ for being the losers. Its time for us to…”

Dump The Chumps!” the audience erupted, members from before having joined and formed a crowd.

The Fizzled Fireworks looked above the trashcan tipped over. The Fizzled Fireworks were assaulted with pepper, ketchup, mustard, relish, mayonnaise, coleslaw, barbecue sauce, sprinkles, and pickle juice. Finally, the biggest tub appeared and dumped pig’s blood on the losers for a solid minute.

The audience roared and hooted, as the Fizzled Fireworks stood there with miserable expressions.

“Thank you for enjoying today’s challenge folks!” Rhonda announced. “As for you Fireworks, I’ll see you at elimination tonight.”


Soon, the Fireworks trudged through the halls. No one said anything for a moment.

“Today sucked,” Easton stated after awhile.

“So much,” Ignacio agreed, the other Fireworks nodding.

Griswold sighed and turned to his teammates. “Look, today was bad. I know its not just the dump that’s messed with us. The real sore spot is…all those things Jenny said.”

The Fireworks shifted uncomfortably.

Riley sighed. “The one about the parents in the car crash? Yeah, that was me. I’m sorry for not telling you dudes, just not something I bring up in conversation.”

“I don’t know how you would,” Griswold admitted. “I’m sorry Rye. I know what you mean. I was the one whose dad walked out…”

“That might have been a two for one,” Seraphina spoke up. “Mine did too.”

The two gave a soft smile at each other. The silence lulled for a moment.

“No one has to reveal anything about themselves,” Griswold stated. “If you want to get it off your chest, then I understand and will be happy to listen. But I won’t judge if you don’t; certain things we keep to ourselves. But I don’t want this challenge to change anything; I don’t think less of anyone here. I'm still happy to be a Firework, through and through. This was bad and I’m not looking forward to elimination, but I am still behind this team and still glad we’re team members.”

The Fireworks smiled a little.

“Well, I’m headed to the showers,” Ignacio stated.

“Second that,” Lita laughed, the others nodding.

The Fizzled Fireworks dispersed to their bathroom. Riley patted Griswold on the back, and the bros fist bumped. But Griswold looked back, staring at Lita.

Pascal walked next to Ness. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Ness sighed.

“Ness I am sorry about what happened at the mall,” Pascal blurted out. “And with your dad...you don’t deserve that.”

“Its fine,” Ness said. “Really. I understand. Just…can we still be friends though?”

Pascal smiled. “Yes! That’s what I want.”

Ness forced a smile and Pascal returned it. Seraphina and Lita watched from their door, glaring at the singer. Pascal waved goodbye to Ness, and caught the girl’s glances.


“I was not looking forward to elimination tonight,” Pascal stated, now apparently squeaky clean. “Mostly because I knew I was on the chopping block; Ness promised not to vote for me…but her roomies were obviously gunning for me. Even if I did survive, I’m without a power alliance. And that phony Seraphina will take any chance she can to eliminate me. But that’s when I came up with a plan…”


The scene changed to the game room, with Riley, Easton and Griswold playing pool. Pascal stepped in and forced a smile. “Hey guys.”

“Oh, sup Pascal,” Griswold greeted. “What’s happenin’? Want to join us for a game?”

“Thanks but I have to help Kalino with something in a bit,” Pascal replied. “I just wanted to see how everyone is, you know after today.”

“Aww thanks man,” Easton replied. “Doing better.”

“Glad to hear,” Pascal replied. “I believe our team will do better next time, and if you believe it you can achieve it! So…you guys decided who to vote tonight?”

Riley shook her head. “I’m undecided. I don’t want any of our peeps going. We’ve been through almost a month together! You?”

Pascal rubbed the back of his head. “Well…me and Ness are close, and I promised her I would vote with her and her roommates. I’m not thrilled with who but I promised so…”

Griswold raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

“They think someone who blew the challenge should do it,” Pascal ‘explained’. “Especially since it was so close. Since Easton did give the other team a point…”

“Me?” Easton asked. “They’re voting me?”

Pascal shrugged. “It’s a tough choice. I just wanted to hear what you guys thought, maybe another option…”

“If they do that,” Easton realized, “then with you they only need one vote for majority. Do you think Ignacio will too?”

“I doubt it,” Griswold replied. “But that means a tied vote. Back in the original, ties were broken by a challenge, and the winner stayed.”

“Griswold is right!” Pascal added. “I’ve broken a few tiebreakers myself on other shows. If it is a tie, you’d just have to defeat them Easton. But you’d need to be against someone weaker, or really unlucky.”

Griswold raised an eyebrow at the pop star.

“Listen I’ll try talking to Ness again,” Pascal explained. “Maybe stop her from voting you out. I just wanted you to have a fair warning. I’m sorry, I really hope you don’t go.”

Easton nodded. “I appreciate you being a pal Pascal. I won’t forget it.”

The singer dashed off, smirking to himself…

Easton banged his head against the pool table. “I really screwed up today.”

“It was a slip of the tongue bro,” Riley replied, hugging his shoulder. “It happens. The roomies are crazy if they think you’re going home. We’re not going to let our bro go home!”

“She’s right,” Griswold stated. “We’ll talk to Ignacio about this. I’ll talk to Lita, I’ve been meaning to anyway.”

“You know what Pascal said is true,” Easton admitted. “If it is a tiebreaker challenge, then the best person for me to go up against would be…”


“…Ness!”

Lita and Ness gasped, Pascal now talking to the three girls. Seraphina’s eyes grew wide, but shifted into a raised eyebrow.

“They said they were voting Ness?” Lita asked.

Pascal nodded. “Easton suggested it. He’s worried he’s a target. And he said that Ness’…unfortunate luck makes her a challenge liability.”

“How do we know anything you’re saying is true?” Seraphina questioned. “That doesn’t sound like the others.”

“Ask them if they thought about voting off Ness,” Pascal replied. “Listen, I’m telling you this because I don’t want Ness to go home! I was hoping if we combined our votes, we could ensure that…”

“If we all vote together that would be half of the team,” Lita admitted. “I can try talking to Ignacio too. I’m certainly going to ask Gris what the heck he is thinking! I mean Ness, a liability? Honey please…”

Ness looked down at the floor and sighed.

“Its not like she lost us the challenge,” Pascal agreed. “No one really did. I mean Easton’s conflict with Weston hurt us…”

“That’s true,” Ness realized. “He gave them the extra point they needed to win. Yet he’s voting for me; maybe he should go home instead.”

Pascal snapped his fingers. “That’s a good idea Ness! We should vote off Easton for his role in the challenge. Ignacio might see the reason in that, and vote with us!”

“Oh, um thanks,” Ness replied.

“I’ll bring the idea up to him,” Pascal explained. “Don’t worry Ness, I promised not to vote for you. I intend to keep that promise.”

“Thank you,” Ness said smiling.

Pascal nodded, giving a smirk to the glaring psychic and dashing out the door.

Seraphina gritted her teeth and held up a fist. “That filthy rat why I ought to…”

Ness slumped on the bed, hiding her face in the pillow and whimpering...

“Oh sweetie,” Lita said, as she and the psychic sat on side of her. Lita rubbed the jinx’s back. “Don’t you worry, we aren't going to let you go home.”

Ness turned her head. “But…”

“Lita’s right,” Seraphina stated. “We’ve come this far, and the three of us are not going to get split up now! We have your back Ness. In fact, if it comes to it tonight, I want you to use this…”

Seraphina pulled out the blue flash drive from her pocket.

“But Seraphina,” Ness gasped, “Xidorn gave that to you for you to use!”

“Well I’m giving it you,” Seraphina replied, placing it in the blonde’s hand. “As far as I’m concerned, this flash drive is for all of us.”

Ness turned to the wall. “But…what if I do deserve to go home?”

Lita and Seraphina looked at each other confused than turned to the blonde. “What are you talking about?”

I’m talking about that I’m a jinx!” Ness screamed. “My bad luck brings nothing but destruction…and it might have done that to our team. I mean, what good have I done for this team? In the first challenge I had to be saved by an Eagle, then failed my trial. I made Ignacio’s speedo…that broke in the challenge. And today…I didn’t even tell you guys it was my birthday.”

“It was your birthday?” Seraphina and Lita asked in unison.

Ness wiped away a tear. “I…I didn’t want you to know.”

Lita put her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Sweetie, its fine. We love you! We’d want to celebrate the day-“

“-But I don’t,” Ness interrupted. “Every year my birthday is horrible. Even the day I was born…I didn’t want to celebrate today. The point is, maybe I should go.”

“Okay so you’ve had some missteps,” Seraphina stated. “But you’re not the weakest link! Who was able to get into the Eagle’s snow fort? Or win the interpretative dance challenge?”

Ness shook her head. “That was just…chance, not skill.”

“So Ignacio’s speedo broke,” Lita stated. “We wouldn’t know how to sew without you in that challenge. May I remind you who was the one brave enough to volunteer to eat bull testicles? And black licorice?”

“Who helped us win the scavenger hunt by coming up with a loophole?” Seraphina added. “Or won the Awake-a-thon?”

“But that was just-“

“-that was you,” Lita stated. “And that’s why you deserve to stay! This team is stronger, not weaker for having you. You ain’t going home. Even, if we have to vote for Easton…”

Ness nodded and faintly smiled at her friends, who joined together for a group hug.


Soon after, Lita and Griswold were walking in the halls. Spotting each other they half-heartedly waved and ran to the other.

Lita sighed and smiled. “Hey Gris-Bear! I’ve been looking for you…”

Griswold rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, me too. We need to talk.”

Lita’s eyes grew wide. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Huh?” Griswold asked. “What did you say?”

“I said…uh, what’s up?” Lita replied with a forced chuckle.

“Is it true you’re voting for Easton?” Griswold asked.

Lita furrowed her brow. “Is it true you’re voting for Ness?”

The two stared at each other for a while, before turning and look away.

“About today’s challenge,” Griswold spoke again, “The Notebook isn’t your favorite movie?”

Lita turned further away. “No…the truth is, I hate it! I’ve seen it with almost all of my relationships and I never like it.”

“So why did we watch it?” Griswold asked. “Why did you say you like it?”

“Because couples are suppose to watch it together,” Lita sighed. “Its suppose to be that romantic movie couples cuddle to and enjoy with each other. I wanted us to do that, to be that couple…”

Griswold sighed. “Lita, we need to break up.”

Lita gasped. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Griswold admitted. “I really am, but its not working out. I’ve never had a relationship before. You’re cool Lita but…I don't think I dated you because I liked you; I liked the idea of being in a relationship. We tried…but I’m not happy. Are you?”

Lita sighed and looked down. “No. I’ve been feeling it coming…but I thought if we just kept going then maybe we would work…”

The two stood there looking at their feet for a moment. Eventually, the two walked away.


“That was awful,” Griswold stated. “I almost want to take it back, but I know I did the right thing. I’m going to take a break from relationships for a long time…”


Lita wiped away some tears from her scarf. “I can’t believe it! I told myself not to drive this one away! I mean Griswold is the perfect guy. I tried to make him like me…to have that relationship…but I couldn’t get him to care for me like that.”


Pascal rubbed his hands together. “My plan was risky, but I think its paid off! I’ve turned the two factions on my team against each other, and avoided being the target. I’ve also convinced Ignacio on why Easton is the choice.”

Pascal chuckled to himself. “So Easton will go home…and the bros will be in need of an ally; me! There's my alliance! Since Ness and I promised to never vote for each other, the girls can’t have the numbers, even if Igancio sticks with them. Which means I can target Seraphina next…and go to the merge with potential meat shields. Even combine my inter team alliance with the bros.”

Pascal scratched his head. “Worst case scenario, Ignacio flips and creates a tie. But I doubt that. Even still, it’ll be a tiebreaker challenge like in the original seasons. If Ness somehow does go home…well I didn’t break my promise. And Seraphina still won't have the numbers. It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!”


The Fizzled Fireworks sat in the Haunted Internet Café, everyone quiet and avoiding eye contact.

“Its been awhile Fireworks,” Rhonda greeted. “Almost too long, don’t you think?”

The Fireworks replied with glares or depressed looks.

Rhonda pouted. “Fine, don’t talk to me. Let’s just get voting.”


Pascal cast his vote for Easton. “I’ll tell your twin you said bye.”


Griswold cast his vote for Ness. “I really hate doing this. But, bros are loyal to each other. Me and Easton have been close. He has my back, and I have his. Sorry Ness.”


Easton cast his vote for Ness. “I don’t like this, but you’re targeting me and I probably have the best chance of beating you in a tiebreaker challenge. I understand you’re doing the same thing. Honestly, I hope we do the challenge so we can compete for the right to stay. Makes it a bit more fair.”


Lita cast her vote for Easton. “I appreciate you not revealing the details about me and my brother at the challenge. This feels ungrateful. But you targeted my homegirl. And I can’t let her go home.”


Ness cast her vote for Easton and sighed. She opened her palm, revealing the immunity flash drive. “Do you ever think fate is telling you something’s suppose to happen?”

Ness’ expression became serious as she closed her hand and shoved the flash drive in her pocket. “I’m not wasting Seraphina’s flash drive on myself. More importantly…if I am meant to go home, then I’ll go home tonight. That’s how the universe wanted it to be.”


Ignacio bit on his nails for a moment, moving between Ness and Easton’s icon, before ultimately dropping the mouse and rubbing his temples. “Uhh…I have no clue what option to take. Strategically neither is targeting me, nor is a liability. Pascal tried to explain why voting Easton is a more suitable option…but I admit to zoning out. I’ve taken notice of Pascal’s tendency for exaggeration.”

Ignacio turned at the screen. “Personally, I like both of them. I consider Easton a friend, a ‘bro’, and I admire his commitment to the mathematics. However, Ness is kind and helped recently with my own issues…”

Ignacio nodded and clicked on an icon.


“The votes are in,” Rhonda announced. “If I call your name, you will receive a cup of peppermint flavored coffee. I think its nasty but people drink it. Anyway, the first coffee cup goes to…Pascal.”

The pop star smirked as he caught his cup.

“Ignacio.”

The model caught his cup, avoiding the eyes of his teammates.

“Lita…Riley.”

The two shared a look before catching their cups.

“Griswold and Seraphina.”

Everyone turned to the middle, where Ness and Easton sat and stared at Rhonda.

“Easton, Ness. There’s only one coffee cup left. And it goes too…”
















...neither of you; we have a tie.”

The other Fireworks gasped.

“It's up to a challenge now,” Easton stated. "Good."

“Challenge?” Rhonda asked. “What challenge?”

“For the tiebreaker,” Ness explained.

“Who said we were doing a tiebreaker challenge?” Rhonda questioned.

“What?” Pascal exclaimed. “But in past seasons-”

“-Yeah, but not this season,” Rhonda interrupted. “The tiebreaker may be decided by a challenge, but it could be decided by a number of other methods.”

“So what is the tiebreaker?” Seraphina asked.

Rhonda smirked. “We’ll have a revote; everyone but the bottom two will vote again. The bottom two will be the only choices available to vote. You can’t use immunity flash drives either; you had your chance and you blew it.”

The Fireworks nodded and began to move.

“However,” Rhonda announced, “if the bottom two are still tied after the revote, the bottom two will be granted immunity and one of you will be eliminated instead.”

All the Fireworks froze. The room became dead silent, some of the newbies trying to make eye contact with their teammates while others tried to avoid eye contact.

“Through a luck based decision,” Rhonda explained, “one of the six of you will be eliminated and go home in their stead, where you can never come back to the show and will have lost the prize of two million dollars. On that note, let’s get voting!”


Ignacio drummed his fingers against the wall. “What I do, what I do! Uhh...let's ponder this dilemma scientifically, review the facts and contemplate all my options. Now theoretically, how will everyone else vote?”


Seraphina immediately clicked Easton’s face. “Ness deserves to be here, and I’m not going to let her be eliminated. Even if I have to go home instead.”


“Easton, you’re my bro,” Riley stated, clicking Ness' face. “Through thick or thin. This time ain’t no different.”


Pascal chewed on his beanie, yanking it with is teeth. “Ahh…”


The Fireworks reseated themselves in the cafe. Jenny passed Rhonda a note, who read it, nodded and pulled back out the last cup of coffee.

“A decision has been made,” Rhonda stated. “The last cup of coffee goes to…












“...Easton.”

Rhonda tossed the twin a cup of coffee.

The short blonde nodded and stood up.

“And Ness.”

The jink’s eyes grew wide. She was so caught off guard she failed to register a cup of coffee headed straight for her, Rhonda having hidden it in her podium.

“Congrats Easton and Ness,” Rhonda announced, “you have received immunity. Griswold, Ignacio, Lita, Pascal, Riley, Seraphina; one of you will now be going home.”

“How did this happen?” Ness asked her teammates.

“We weren’t gonna let our girl go home,” Lita replied as Seraphina nodded.

“We aren’t going to let our bro go home either,” Griswold added.

“Mmhmm,” Riley agreed.

“This still doesn’t make sense,” Ignacio stated. “I switched my vote from Ness to Easton, no offense.”

“I get it,” Easton admitted, “it was a tough call.”

"But if that’s true,” Seraphina said, “then for the votes to be tied, someone else would have to had switched their votes.”

All at once, the other Fireworks turned their heads to a blushing Pascal. “Heh, heh...I uh...well…”

“You mo*********** snake,” Lita whispered.

Ness looked away. “Pascal, you promised that no matter what you…”

“Ness I-”

“-Save it,” Ness replied, struggling to hold back the tears. “I’m not even surprised.”

Rhonda cleared her throat. “If you all would follow me through the Revolving Doors of Shame for the next part of this choice.”


Outside on the sidewalk six fireworks were positioned facing the sky, and looked ready to blow up. They were each a different color, red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple, and each a different size ranging from miniature to bulbous.

Rhonda handed a match to the six newbies.

“Each of you must decide upon a firework and use this match to ignite it. All of these fireworks are designed to fail to launch, fizzling out. Except for one firework, which will shoot off into the sky and be extinguished in one quick motion. Whosoever firework successfully goes off will not be a Fizzled Firework, being eliminated from this team, leave the show for good and say goodbye to the two million dollars. Choose wisely.”

The six stood silent and stared at the fireworks.

“Did I mention you only have thirty seconds to choose a firework or be automatically eliminated?”

Griswold ran forward and chose the red firework.

“It's the color of my football team,” Griswold mumbled, “and it hasn’t let me down yet…”

Seraphina’s eyes rolled into the back of her head. She sat in a lotus position on the ground.

“Eenie, meanie, minnie, moe,” Riley said, going between the fireworks.

“Let’s see I have a one in six chance of being wrong,” Ignacio stated. “Well one in five now, so that’s four fifths chance of being right…”

“If he hollers let him go…”

Lita tugged on her scarf, before deciding upon the purple firework.

“So that makes one in fourth…”

Pascal turned his head back and forth, looking for a sign. His beanie fell off his head. As Pascal caught it he smiled and dashed towards the orange firework.

Seraphina’s eyes rolled to the front of her head, the psychic jumping up and claiming the blue firework.

“And the very best one is you,” Riley finished, her finger landing on the yellow firework.

Ignacio sighed and quickly ran to the green firework, lighting its wick.

The Fizzled Fireworks stood back as the fuses burnt out. There was a short pause…


























...before the orange firework shot off into the sky and rained down a display of orange sparks. The other fireworks released a bit of smoke before collapsing in on themselves.

“I’m afraid it's the end of the road Pascal,” Rhonda announced. Jenny passed out cups of coffee to the remaining Fireworks, who chugged the drink in relief despite its flavor.

Pascal sighed and walked forward for a moment. He turned back, only to see Ness already headed towards the hotel.

Seraphina wiped away a tear.

“It's okay Seraphina, you’re safe,” Griswold stated.

Seraphina sniffled. “I know, I’m just...I’m just so happy that Pascal’s nasty ass is finally gone!”

“Amen!” Lita added. “Don’t let the door hit you, where the good lord split you.”

“You know I can hear you,” Pascal shouted from the bus stop. “I’m like five feet away.”

“I know,” Seraphina replied. “And seeing your sadness is even sweeter than this cup of coffee you didn’t get!”


The Public Transportation of Losers pulled up and Pascal limped on board, trudging to the back of the bus and falling into the seat.

“Pascy-Wascy?”

Pascal looked up and saw Amanda Picklestein in the seat across from him.

“Mandy?” Pascal asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I quit being an intern,” Many sighed. “I’m taking this bus out of here. Why are you here?”

“I lost,” Pascal grieved, slouching further in his seat.

“Oh Pascy-Wascy…”

“No, no I deserved to go home,” Pascal admitted. “I was a jerk, a monster. I didn’t mean to be so horrible, I just...I wanted to win for once, especially the show I’ve watched since I was a kid.”

Mandy nodded and looked down.

Pascal looked up, his hat falling off his head and beside him in the seat.

“I’m sorry.”

Pascal raised his eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m sorry I came here,” Mandy stated. “And...I’m sorry I won our old show. If I had known how important it was to you I-”

“-I’m the one who needs to apologize,” Pascal said. “You didn’t do anything. I got jealous and I let it consume me. When instead I should have been happy that my best friend won.”

There was a silence for a moment.

“Mandy,” Pascal said, “you’re a little talkative and overexcited, but I realize I like that about you. I'm the same way. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, you didn’t deserve that. I'd take it all back if I can. You know, on every show I competed on I was thinking about you, maybe in jealously. But I’ve realized that all this time I still care about you; that’s why I still wear the hat you made me.”

Mandy smiled. “It suits you.”

“Yeah, I think it does,” Pascal laughed. “I’m actually really happy I have it; even today, I am glad I wear it.”

The Public Transportation of Losers swerved at a turn, causing Mandy to slip right next to Pascal.

“Mandy,” Pascal said, “do you wanna go out? Like, on a date?”

“Does this answer your question?”

Mandy stood on her tippy toes and jerked Pascal into kiss, the two eventually making out.

“Heehee,” Pascal giggled and fell back against the seat. “What have I gotten myself into?”

“Oh my gosh I can’t believe this is happening!” Mandy cheered. “Isn’t that crazy? I think its crazy. What do we now? Where should we go on a date? I mean I don’t really care where but I want it to be magical so its burned in our minds forever and oh I have to introduce you to my dad! And my mom! And my sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews and cousins and friends and acquaintances and, oh! Should we have cutesy nicknames for each other? And a couple name! What about Pasclstien? And I blah blah blahblahblah…”

Pascal facepalmed. “What have I gotten myself into?”

Chapter 12 In Squad We Trust[]

On the roof of the Pentagram Hotel, the Molting Eagles sat at tables enjoying a classy Italian dinner, their reward for winning the last challenge.

Vance slurped up pasta noodles as waiters brought more plates out. “That’s it! Keep it coming! And bring more breadsticks!”

Melissa laughed as she took another spoonful of soup. She smiled as Cynthia took a seat next to her. “Oh Cynthia! You didn’t have to come sit with me, you can sit with Weston.”

“He has time for his friends,” Cynthia replied. “I want to make time for mine.”

Melissa hugged the girl. “You’re too sweet.”

“I wanted to apologize for not telling you about the Hayden vote,” Cynthia said. “It won’t happen again.”

“Thank you,” Melissa replied. “I’m not mad, but I appreciate it.”


“I don’t care about people,” Cynthia admitted. “But I guess Melissa and Weston are an exception...I’m glad I met them.”


The sky suddenly lit up as an orange firework went off. The Molting Eagles gasped and clapped.


Ness sat in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Slowly, Lita and Seraphina inched into the room.

“Hey sweetie,” Lita greeted. “Can we hang with you?”

“I was just going to bed,” Ness admitted.

“That’s cool,” Seraphina said. “But we thought if you wanted to...you could enjoy some cake.”

Ness turned to see Seraphina and Lita pull a rich chocolate cake from behind their backs. Sixteen candles were lit on top of it.

“We know you hate your birthday,” Lita said. “But we’re glad to have you here, so we wanted to show that.”

Ness wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “You got me a cake?”

"After you told us about your birthday earlier,” Lita explained, “we snuck off to bake you one.”

“And after almost burning down the kitchen we asked Melissa for help,” Seraphina admitted.

“But we made sure nothing you were allergic to is in it,” Lita stated. “Can we cut you a slice?”

Ness shrugged. “I guess so.”

Lita nodded and sat it on the drawers. She cut three slices while Seraphina put them on paper plates. The three girls sat on the bed and dug in, sighing in delight.

“Melissa has got some skill,” Ness admitted.

“Amen,” Seraphina replied. “Ness, we’re sorry about what happened with Pascal. He was a jerk, you didn’t deserve that."

"He was nice to me...I thought,” Ness replied.

Lita brushed hair out of her smaller friend’s face. “Ness, you’re amazing! Some guy will wise-up and realize it, or screw it, I’ll marry you myself.”

Ness and Seraphina laughed. “I’ll officiate you two if I can.”

“Seraphina please, you can marry us too,” Lita joked. “I know you want to! We’re just too good for everybody else.”

“Griswold might get jealous,” Ness teased.

Lita rolled her eyes. “Psh, he can be jealous. Like **** him, **** all the other losers out there.”

Ness laughed. “You know, you guys might’ve made this my best birthday yet.”

“Maybe we need to change the date of your birthday,” Seraphina suggested. “Let’s celebrate it tomorrow! We can have a girls day at the mall.”

“Yes!” Lita cheered. “We can get you a nice gift then too.”

Ness blushed. “Oh...what the heck! Let’s do it!”

The three roomies embraced each other, accidentally spilling their cake on the bed.


The next day, Weston walked into the kitchen. Melissa and Vance were already there, standing awkwardly.

“Hey Melissa,” Weston greeted. “Vance said you wanted some help pie tasting?”

“Um...well...look Weston,” Melissa stated, pulling a coin out of his pocket. “I have a shiny nickel.”

Vance stole the coin and tossed it in the open freezer. “Go fetch partner!”

Weston crossed his arms. “Do you really expect me to chase a nickel?”

Melissa blushed. “Well…”

“No, it was a dumb plan I reckon,” Vance said, looking down. “It wasn’t even a nickel; just a quarter.”

The two looked up to see Weston had ran off into the freezer. “A whole quarter? That’s like four baby dollars!”

The two Eagles high-fived. Easton came walking back into the kitchen with Griswold and Riley behind him.

“Why are we going to the kitchen when we’re going out for broritos again?” Easton asked.

Riley and Griswold shared a look. “Uhh…”

Griswold grabbed Easton, tossing him into the freezer and slamming it shut. “Sorry about this bro; hopefully you’ll thank us.”

Easton stood up and immediately glared upon seeing his other half. “Weston.”

“Easton.”

“Vance this was a nickel,” Weston shouted.

“I think I’m owed an explanation,” Easton stated, trying to push the door open.

“And I think I’m owed twenty cents!”

“We’re awfully sorry to do this,” Melissa stated, “but you two need to talk, and since you wouldn’t do it own your own, we thought we could help.”

“It was defiantly my idea though,” Vance added.

“You mean definitely, right?” Griswold asked.

“Get comfy in there you two,” Riley said. “Cause until you make up we aren’t letting you out.”

“So the sooner you two hug it out, the sooner you can get warm,” Vance stated.

Easton sighed and turned to face Weston’s glare. “Well…"

“I don’t have anything to say,” Weston stated. “I wouldn’t want to burden you.”

“For someone who has nothing to say you certainly don’t mind talking,” Easton replied.

Riley pressed her ear against the door. “I think they’re speaking to each other!"


“Easton was in danger of going home because of his and Weston’s fighting,” Riley explained. “But even more than that, you shouldn’t hate your brother; they're your family."

"When my parents died, all of my eight brothers pitched in to help raise me. Of course we didn’t always get along, but we always made up; we’re always there for each other. I don’t want Easton or Weston to lose someone like that over a silly fight.”


“I appreciate the help with this,” Vance stated. “Xidorn thought it was ‘dumb’ and ‘would make things worse’.”

“I was happy to help a teammate in need,” Melissa replied.

“I want you to know that we still consider you a teammate...”

Melissa smiled.

“...we just kept you in the dark about a lot of stuff and voted off your boyfriend,” Vance continued. “No hard feelings.”

Melissa raised an eyebrow, yet tried to keep her smile. “Thanks?”

In the freezer, the two twins were now arguing.

"I don’t care if it was manipulated or not,” Weston replied. “You still think I’m a burden and told your teammates I was an idiot.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Easton explained. “I wouldn’t say those things to hurt you; but you don’t think about that, about how I feel.”

“Like how I didn’t think about starting a relationship with Cynthia?” Weston asked. “I know you don’t approve, not that I care.”

“I’m sorry if I don’t like that you’re dating a serial killer,” Easton replied.

“I finally found someone who likes me for me,” Weston stated.

“Who doesn’t like you?” Easton asked. “Everyone likes you!”

“No, everyone likes you!” Weston stated. “You’re the smart one, the reliable one. The one who’s doing something with your life.”

“Everyone likes you,” Easton yelled again. “Everyone thinks you're funnier, more interesting. Mom, dad, our friends; they all care about you. They don’t give a crap about what I do.”

“No they like you better,” Weston shouted, trying to be louder. “Don’t you get it-

“You don’t get it!” Easton screamed. “Its obvious-”

“-You’re the superior twin!” the two shouted in unison.

Riley fist pumped outside the freezer door. “I think they finished each other's sentences again.”

“Everyone thinks I’m just your dummy sidekick,” Weston stated.

“Everyone thinks I’m unnecessary when you exist,” Easton stated.

“This is actually going a lot better than a I thought,” Griswold admitted.

Clank.

Griswold took a step back as the door vibrated a little bit. “Or not.”

Riley threw open the door, the twins tumbling out while punching each other. Quickly Griswold and Melissa pulled them two apart, holding each back.

“Calm down dude,” Griswold stated. “Don’t do this!”

“Don’t start Gris!” Easton shouted. “You locked me in there with him.”

“We just wanted you to talk,” Griswold replied. “To stop fighting and be brothers again.”

“Easton is not my brother,” Weston stated. “He’s not anything to me anymore.”

The younger twin stormed off.

Easton froze there for a moment, before turning away and sulking out. “Right back at you!”

"There was more hurt than I realized," Riley admitted. "They've been bottling it up for such a long time...this is going to take a lot of work to fix, and it won't be easy."

The others nodded.


Melissa walked off, only to run into Seraphina.

“Ooh, good morning Seraphina,” Melissa greeted.

“Mornin’,” Seraphina greeted. “Hey, thanks for help with the cake yesterday. Ness loved it...till we spilt it in the bed...but still ate it…”

“I was happy I could help,” Melissa greeted. “No one should have a bad birthday.”

“I was actually looking for you,” Seraphina admitted. “Could I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Melissa replied. “If there’s anything I can help with, I want to.”

“I just wanted some advice I guess,” Seraphina said. “I know you and Aiden had issues, we saw them at the Awake-a-thon...but you ended up dating. How did you make it work? You were so different.”

Melissa sighed. “It's weird to think he only left a few days ago."

“I’m sorry,” Seraphina replied. “You don’t have to-”

“-Like I said I don’t mind,” Melissa said. “I think with me and Aiden...we had our differences. But we had so much in common, that the differences just seemed so small. We realized that was more important than the differences...does that make sense?”

“A lot, yeah,” Seraphina replied. “Thank you.”

Melissa winked. “I have faith you and Xidorn will make it work.”

The two girls said their goodbyes and parted ways.


Early in the hours of the next morning, the contestants slept peacefully…until an air horn played over the P.A. “Hey everybody! Be in the lobby now for today’s challenge!”

Still dressed in their pajamas, the contestants groggily crept to the lobby.

“Morning everyone!” Rhonda greeted. “You sleep good?”

“For five minutes,” Griswold sighed.

Seraphina yawned. “Why are we doing this challenge now? “Wasn’t it every three days?”

“I have to finish this show by a certain point, ” Rhonda replied. “Before this hotel opens to the public.”

“Didn’t you plan out the schedule beforehand?” Easton asked. “That usually helps.”

Rhonda tried but failed to hide a smile. “We have a very flexible schedule, lots of production changes…nothing to worry your heads about yet. Instead, you ought to worry about your next challenge.”

“Are you going to tell us what this challenge is?” Xidorn asked. “Or just throw us down another trap door?”

“We’ve been doing challenges rather similar to the ones your predecessors faced,” Rhonda explained, “so it's time for another variation on a fan-favorite challenge…”

“So you just copied and pasted another old challenge?” Seraphina asked.

“Its called a call-back and a celebration of this franchise’s rich history,” Rhonda replied.

“Then why’d she yell at us for using it,” Jenny whispered to Toby.

“We’ve noticed that some conflicts have been forming between your teams,” Rhonda explained. “We want to help mend those bonds...through extremely dangerous events! So prepare for trust building!”

The contestants stared at Rhonda, Toby imitating cricket noises.

“Really?” Rhonda asked. “You don’t have a problem blabbing earlier, but now nothing?”

“Is that before or after breakfast?” Kalino asked.

“Didn’t you already eat?” Xidorn asked.

“Not second breakfast,” Kalino replied.

Rhonda facepalmed. Jenny smirked and tip-toed over to her technical superior. She whispered things in her ear, causing an ugly grin to appear on the hostess’ face.

“I like it,” Rhonda replied. “Alright newcomers, let’s get cooking…”


“Does anyone else think that Rhonda is becoming meaner and meaner?” Griswold asked. “Sure she was intense at the start, but friendly. Maybe we rubbed her the wrong way, but she’s a little too sadistic. Jenny might be having a bad influence on her…”


Later, the newbies had changed into their swimsuits and found themselves standing outside of the Pentagram hotel. They stood on a makeshift dock, a large aquarium tank in front of each team.

“For your first challenge, you’ll be making a delicious soup,” Rhonda announced. “Kung-fu soup! Allow me to share the recipe; noodles, vegetables...and seven of the deadliest fish in the world!”

Rhonda smirked and rubbed her hands together, pointing to the water below. “We’ve stocked this tank with electric eels, piranhas…”

The contestants gulped as a horde of piranhas tore into the flesh of an eel, who shocked them in response. However both were killed as they were stung by a purple jellyfish.

“Toxic jellyfish, swordfish, the poisonous fugu blowfish…”

A blowfish popped up, only to be deflated by a charging swordfish. The swordfish smirked, only to pass over dead.

“...Man eating sharks…”

As if on cue, a great shark jumped out into the sky and flashed a toothy grin. It tied a bib around around its neck before sinking back into the water...only to be grabbed by giant octopus tentacles.

“...and a killer octopus. Fun fact, it's called kung-fu soup for a reason; a single bite of an ill prepared bowl of this soup feels like taking a beating from Jackie Chan. One person from each team will prepare the soup and serve it to another team member."

“Melissa will be cooking for the Molting Eagles, while Kalino will enjoy the meal.”

“Good luck partner,” Vance said. “If you die who do you want me to give your Gamecube too?”

“Take a chillaxative bud,” Kalino replied. “Melissa is cooking; she’s like a pro-chef.”

“Good point,” Rhonda admitted. “In that case, you’ll cook and Melissa will eat.”

Kalino facepalmed as Melissa gave him a sympathetic look.

“For the Fireworks...I think it’s time to see how much our ex lovebirds trust each other,” Rhonda announced. “Lita will cook, while Griswold will eat.”

“Exes?” Seraphina asked. “You broke up and didn’t tell me or Ness?”

“It’s not important,” Lita replied. “It happens. It's not going to affect how either of us do in this challenge.”

“I’m sure,” Rhonda replied. “I was going to have the ingredients ready...but since you all seem so eager to nitpick, the rest of you will fish for the ingredients and bring them to our chefs in the kitchen. If there’s a tie, whoever brings the most fish wins.”

Toby dropped a ham into the water. It sank into the water...before resurfacing as a bone. A shark eagerly chomped into it and dove back underwater.

Jenny snickered. “Gee, I sure how the soup is prepared good. It’d be shame if Gris or Melissa became sick and had to be voted out to keep the team strong.”

Griswold rolled his eyes while Melissa gulped.


“Do I think Kalino would poison me?” Melissa asked. “Oh goodness no. I’m not certain I trust him though...he’s kept me out of the loop quite a bit. I’m not sure he knows how to cook either. I had to help him microwave a Kids Cuisine meal once.”


“I didn’t actually need Melissa to help me with that Kids Cuisine meal,” Kalino replied. “The microwave was just...like a whole room away.”


The remaining teens stood outside the tank, while Toby delivered each a set of fishing gear.

“So now what?” Weston asked.

“Psh, I go fishing in the crick all the time back home,” Vance bragged. “This will be easier than hog-tieing a...hog.”

Vance placed a bit of cheese on a fish hook and flung the line into the tank. With a sploosh it sank into the ocean. In seconds the line tugged.

“Told you,” Vance replied. “Have I ever been wrong?”

“You want the list handwritten or typed?” Xidorn teased.

Before Vance could reply he found himself tugged by the line. The cowboy was yanked forward, falling into the tank and into the arms of a man-eating shark.

“To be fair, there are not sharks in the crick,” Vance admitted. The shark itself being dousing him in barbecue sauce. But as it prepared to snap, Xidorn maced it in the face. The shark pouted, tossing Vance in Xidorn’s arms and swimming off.

“Thanks for the rescue deputy,” Vance replied. “But how did you do it?”

“Oh that’s easy,” Xidorn replied. “Shark repellent.”


"I was a fan of the original Total Drama when I was a kid,” Xidorn admitted. “I stopped watching after some of the later seasons…not to jump on the All-Stars hate bandwagon, but I wasn’t crazy about it. I knew we’d have sharks on this show, given its history, so I figured I’d need this. Not to mention Batman always carries it.”


The Fizzled Fireworks were trying to come up with a plan; their net had been torn, their rods snapped in half and their bait depleted, with nothing to show for it.

“We need a new strategy,” Easton said. “Anyone have any ideas?”

“What if we just like shattered the tank,” Riley suggested. “We could do that, right?”

“No, no you can’t!” Rhonda shouted off the sidelines. 

“Well,” Ness said. “It's not a great plan...but we could use me as a bait. Animals aren’t always my biggest fan...and I think these fish really don’t like me.”

Ness looked down into the tank; in the octopus’ tentacles it held a photo of Ness. It then held up a lighter, burning the picture and tossing towards the Fireworks.

“How can it even light a fire underwater?” Seraphina asked. 

“I’m not comfortable with that idea Ness,” Ignacio stated. “You could be brutalized...worse than usual.” 

“I might have a plan,” Seraphina admitted. “But I don’t know if you’ll like it Ignacio…”


The Eagles themselves were trying to think of a plan, just as unsuccessful. 

“We’re out of bait,” Vance admitted. “What else do fish like?”

Weston jumped in place, raising his hand. “I know! I know! Fish love water! If we get some water…wait...”

Xidorn and Vance shared a look. 

“Ooh!” Weston exclaimed. “I have another idea! Why don’t we send in our secret weapon, my sweetheart!”

“Huh,” Vance said. “We should just done that in the first place.”

“To be honest I was trying to be merciful to the fish,” Xidorn admitted. “But I guess we’re out of options...where is Cynthia?” 

Xidorn jumped as he felt breathing on the back of his neck. Cynthia appeared behind him, having grabbed her chainsaw.

“Use these for the carcasses,” Cynthia stated, dropping a roll of black trash bags. She revved her chainsaw before jumping into the water. 

Weston swooned as chunks of fugu blowfish and octopus floated to the top of the tank. “She’s like a little mermaid...a mermaid Cthulhu.”


The Fizzled Fireworks had a plan of their own…

Ignacio sighed as he he stood out in front of the tank, pulling down the top of his wet suit. Immediately, the fish started throwing themselves out of the tank and at the hunk. Using the remains of their poles as spears, they moved the smaller fish into the net. 

“Nice plan Seraphina,” Easton said. “Its working really well!”

A shark, with hearts in its eyes, threw itself out of the tank. Ignacio ducked and it flew right into Ness, knocking her off the platform. 

“A little too well,” Easton said. 


In the kitchen, Kalino and Lita were getting to work. Kalino whistled as he precisely chopped a fugu blowfish into sushi-style pieces. Weston rushed in with a dripping trash bag. 

“Here’s more fish Kalino,” Weston said. “Oh, and Cynthia got us each one of these.” 

He dropped a large shark tooth onto the kitchen counter. “We can put it under our pillow for the tooth fairy!”

“Nicceeeeee,” Kalino replied, high-fiving the twin. 

Riley meanwhile drug the net of fish and plopped it next to Lita. “How’s the cooking Lightning Lita?” 

“It ain’t no thing,” Lita replied. “Hmm...do you use an egg beater for soup?” 

Riley shrugged. “My diet usually consists of fast-food, leftovers or mini pizza bagels.”

Lita laughed as she held up a jellyfish. “I feel. I haven’t been able to find any jelly in these things...meh, I’m sure it’ll turn out alright though.” 

“Hey I hope you don’t mind me asking...but you okay?” Riley questioned. “You know...after you and Gris…”

“He told ya?”

“Yeah...I didn’t see it coming honestly.”

“I did,” Lita replied. “It was obvious Griswold didn’t love me. We just didn’t fit right.”

“Oh...guess I missed that. So you didn’t love him either?”

“No, I loved him,” Lita replied. “Loving someone just isn’t always enough.”

Riley nodded and walked away as Lita stirred the soup. 


Soon, Rhonda and her cohorts have gathered into the dining hall. Griswold and Melissa sat at opposite tables, both with weary looks on their face. Lita and Kalino walked out, placing bowls in front of their teammates. Melissa gasped as she stirred the soup; it looked like ordinary, delicious soup. Griswold stirred his soup; it looked like fish guts floating in water. 

“Bon appetit!” Rhonda laughed. 

“This looks amazing Kalino!” Melissa exclaimed. She sipped a bit from her spoon and sighed deeply. “It tastes amazing too! Thank you!”

“What are teammates for?” Kalino replied. 

Melissa started drinking from the bowl. “Mmm...I didn’t know you were such a skilled chef.”

“Eh, I rarely cook,” Kalino stated, “never made soup before either, but it seemed easy enough.”

Melissa raised an eyebrow, but shrugged and finished slurping her soup. Everyone turned to look at Griswold, still stirring his soup.

“Well?” Rhonda asked. 

“Don’t worry Griswold,” Lita stated. “I know I’m not a chef so-”

Griswold slammed his fist on the table. “I admit that its...fishy looking. Uh, no pun intended. But I trust Lita, even if we are exes! I have faith in her and in my team. So here goes nothing…”

Griswold threw his head back as he chucked down the soup in one gulp. 

“Huh,” Griswold said. “It's not bad actual-” 

He immediately blew chunks onto the table. 

“Aww yeah!” Vance cheered. “Eagles win!”

“Not quite,” Rhonda said. “The goal was to see if you trusted your teammates, not whether you prepared the soup right. Since both teams finished we’ll go to our tiebreaker, seeing who caught the most fish…which was actually the Molting Eagles so uh...I guess you were right. Congrats Eagles.”

The Molting Eagles burst into cheers, patting Kalino and Melissa on the back. 

“Way to go guys,” Xidorn cheered. “You kicked butt. You too uh...Cynthia….”

Cynthia held a thumbs up as she sharpened her knife with a shark’s tooth. 

“Don’t get too cocky Eagles,” Riley said. “We still got another round. Gris Bear, Lita, Iggy Pop, you all did great.” 

“Riley’s right,” Jenny said.

“Aww thanks Jenny,” Griswold replied. 

“Not about y’all, you lost,” Jenny replied. “Its called sucking hardcore.” 

The Fireworks glared at the co-host. 

“But we do have another round,” Jenny giggled. “So let’s found out if you trust your teammates to fight beside you…”


The scene cut to outside the looming Pentagram Hotel, where an area of sorts had been built from trash, and now stood outside the gates. In the center was a large pool of mud. A raised circular platform shot out of it, also drenched in mud. The two teams each sat in a separate section of wooden bleachers. 

“Aww sweet!” Riley cheered. “I’ve been wanting another wrestling challenge! I’m guessing Tobster made this sweet arena.”

Toby smirked a little. “Guilty as charged.”

“Guilty of being a loser,” Jenny said. 

Rhonda cleared her throat. “As you guessed Riley, this is a wrestling challenge, but its tag team wrestling! You’ll be tethered to your teammate with a short chain, and have to knock your opponents off the platform to win. We’ll give you each a jousting stick to use, but other than that it's hand-to-hand combat. No other weapons.”

Everyone turns to look at Cynthia. She stops carving the bleacher and stabbed her knife inside it. “I don’t need a knife to make someone bleed.”

“I don’t think anyone doubts that,” Rhonda replied. “For the first round...let’s see...we’ll have Seraphina and Griswold for the Fizzled Fireworks versus Xidorn and Kalino.”

Griswold rubbed his chin as he eyed Kalino. Kalino waved at him.


“Kalino played pretty dirty at the last challenge,” Griswold said. “I don’t know, I’m just getting an off feeling about this guy…”


Seraphina forced a smile and tried waving at Xidorn. He sighed and looked away. 

“Hey man, I think you’re girlfriend is trying to talk to you,” Kalino stated, following him to the arena. 

“We’re not really together anymore,” Xidorn replied, clipping the chain on his leg.

“Aww sucks dude,” Kalino said.

“I don’t really want to talk about,” Xidorn replied.

“Worried about fighting Xidorn?” Griswold asked. 

“You can take him,” Seraphina said.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Griswold replied. 

“I don't think mud-wrestling will make things better," Seraphina said.

Griswold sighed and rustled her head. 

“Enough talk!” Rhonda yelled, sitting like a Roman empress. “Commence the fighting!”

Jousting sticks in hands, the pairs stood, waiting for the other to make a move. Suddenly, the platform shifted and shaked. In his hand, Toby titled a control stick. 

“Did I mention this platform moves?” Rhonda asked. 

Seraphina rolled her eyes, groaning and charging forward to strike at Kalino...only to reach too far and be yanked back into Griswold. 

Kalino stuck out his tongue. “Neiner, neiner.” 

Griswold smirked, then charged full steam ahead. Seraphina screamed, before falling face forward into the mud and drug behind the brickhouse. Xidorn and Kalino gulped, swerving to the right and sliding behind the linebacker. 

Xidorn poked the mud covered psychic. “You alright?” 

Seraphina held up her head and coughed up a puddle. “Yeah...haha, I’m just glad it's only mud.”

Xidorn giggled as he helped her up. 

Kalino meanwhile, was dodging Griswold’s swings. 

“You’re...enjoying this...aren’t you?” Griswold panted. 

Kalino yawned. “Honestly I think it's going on a bit too long mannnn. But let’s change that…”

Dodging another swing by ducking, Kalino pantsed Griswold. 

“Think of the poor children!” Lita screamed, jumping on top of Ness to cover her eyes. 

Griswold blushed and noticed Riley doing the same as she looked away. He dropped his jousting stick as he tried to cover himself. 

Kalino held a thumbs up as he kicked away Griswold’s jousting stick. “Hey, its not a bad look man.” 

Griswold glared and prepared to strike, but the platform teetered to the the right. Kalino used his jousting stick like a baseball bat and whacked Griswold in the face. He fall back, pulling Seraphina with him off the platform. 


“Yeah,” Griswold stated, now covered in mud. “**** that guy! I got my eye on him...”


“The Molting Eagles score!” Rhonda announced. “Can the Fireworks ever catch back up? Let’s find out in round two! Lita and Ignacio will duel Vance...and Cynthia!”

Lita gulped as she slowly approached the platform. 

“Are you nervous Lita?” Ignacio asked. “I thought you’d be looking forward to another ‘smackdown’ with Vance.”

“I’m just a tiny bit utterly horrified,” Lita replied. 

Ignacio followed the path of her eyes to Cynthia’s own unblinking eyes. 

“I see,” Ignacio said. “Your serial killer phobia. Well...uh, I’ll take care of Cynthia. You focus on trouncing Vance.”

Lita squeezed the model. “Oh Ignacio, you’re just the best!”

Ignacio blushed and stammered gibberish as the model found himself pressed into her chest. 


“I’ve been terrified of Cynthia since we faced each other in the first challenge,” Ignacio admitted. “But I couldn’t let Lita down...I hope she’ll speak at my funeral.”


At the same time, Vance was shaking in his knees. 

“You’re not worried about facing Lita again are you?” Xidorn asked. 

“Why would I be?” Vance asked.

“Because she curb stomped you in the first challenge, remember?” Kalino asked.

“Yeah, she owned you!” Weston continued. 

“You cried a little,” Xidorn said. 

“It was so sad,” Melissa recalled. “It's okay if you’re scared again Vance, I would be too.”

“She had the advantage because I wasn’t going to fight her,” Vance defended. “But I’m not making that mistake again.”

“Really?” Xidorn asked. 

“I realize that was sexist,” Vance explained. 

“Wow Vance,” Xidorn admitted. “I’m really proud to hear you say that!”

Vance smirked. “So I’m going to embrace feminism by punching women too!”

Xidorn facepalmed.

“What I’m worried about is fighting with…”

He turned to end of the podium where Cynthia seemed to be staring straight at him, as if is greatest fears were revealed in her unblinking eyes. 

“Ooooh,” the cowboy shuttered. 

“Cynthia wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Melissa stated. “Well actually...what I mean is that she’s a good person.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t usually bite,” Weston added. “Except me, but that’s different…”

The other Eagles’ raised their eyebrows, except for a thumbs up from Kalino.

“Look at it this way mannnnnnnnnn,” Kalino said, “I’d rather be fighting with Cynthia than against Cynthia.”

Before Vance could reply, he found himself chained to Cynthia. 

As the two groups got on the platform, it already started to teeter. 

“Fight!” Rhonda cried out. 

Lita and Ignacio nodded as they moved in separate directions, cornering their opponents. 

“Hey there...uh Cynthia,” Ignacio greeted. “How are you?”

“Bored.” 

“Good thing I peed before this challenge,” Ignacio whispered. “So uh...there’s not a possibility my magic hotness will divert your attention, is there?”

“I have a boyfriend,” Cynthia replied.

“It's okay Cynthia!” Weston shouted. “Ignacio is a dreamboat, I would understand.” 

“Don’t think I’m going easy on you this time girly,” Vance greeted. 

“I didn’t know you had any other setting,” Lita replied. “Show me what you got sugar.”

Vance let out a battle cry and charged forward, swinging his jousting stick..only to be held back by Lita’s hand on his head. 

Cynthia stepped closer to Ignacio, holding out her pinky finger.

“What...what is that for?” Ignacio asked. 

Cynthia inched forward. “In a little bit, you’ll regret asking that.” 

“Hey Vance,” Lita asked. “Idiot says what?”

Vance rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Okay, first off that is plain dumb with capital B, like really Lita? Second...wait what?”

Lita punched him square in the jaw, then punched him in the gut. “Two for flinching!”

Suddenly the platform began to move up and down, then side to side, before spinning in circles. Lita tried to gain her balance as Vance lunged at her. He slipped and tried to grab onto the knockout… but pulled off her bra. 

The others gasped, trying and failing to avert their gaze. Toby’s jaw dropped, as did the controller, which smashed on the floor. 

“Won’t someone think of the children,” Seraphina shouted, covering Ness’ eyes. 

Vance froze. “Wooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”

Lita rolled her eyes, grabbing Vance by the waistband of his speedo and chucking him away. Cynthia stood over a wounded Ignacio, still holding out her pinky finger, when she found herself yanked backwards. The two Eagles landed in the pool of mud below. 

“Uhh...I guess the Fizzled Fireworks won that,” Rhonda admitted. 

“Aww yeah!” Lita cheered, picking up Ignacio and hugging him. “We’re on the scoreboard. Thank you for fighting Cynthia Iggy, I wish I could repay you.”

“I think you already did,” Riley teased. 

Lita let go of the supermodel, who flopped red face first into the mud, looking like a dead fish.

“I’m just surprised Ignacio wasn’t the one to lose his clothes in this challenge,” Seraphina admitted. 


“So I showed some ta-tas,” Lita said. “We won, didn’t we? If that’s what it takes to get two million dollars, then they’ll be seeing them again.”


“It's twice for the final round,” Rhonda announced. “This time, let’s try to win while keeping our clothes on. Let’s finish with Easton and Ness...against Weston and Melissa. Time to find out which twin will come out on top!” 

The two twins immediately shot each other glares. They raced up to the platform, their partners rushing after them. 

“Begin!” Rhonda announced. 

Easton and Weston immediately went at each other. The two clashed with their jousting sticks; Weston swinging quickly, but Easton keeping his balance and blocking each time. Melissa and Ness meanwhile found themselves awkwardly squashed next to each other.

“How are you doing today Ness?” Melissa asked.

“Pretty good all things considered,” Ness replied. “By the way, thank you for baking that cake. It was delicious!”

“My pleasure!” Melissa said. “Happy belated birthday too!”

“Think you're so better than me,” Weston growled. “Are you better than this!” 

He tried to swing lower, but Easton blocked. 

“Says the guy who doesn’t care about how he treats me,” Easton replied. The older twin flicked his jousting stick, pushing Weston back. 

Weston screamed, swinging like a crazy in every direction. Easton stood his ground and with a quick swing knocked his brother back. He charged forward, pushing his twin over the edge of the platform, sending Melissa following. 

“Woo!” Easton cheered, raising his jousting stick. Ness was laying in the mud behind him. 

“With that,” Rhonda said, “we have a winner! The Fizzled Fireworks win this round!”

The Fizzled Fireworks cheered and clapped. 

“You know,” Toby stated. “If you read this past challenge with jousting sticks as innuendo, the whole thing takes on different meaning…”

“With that,” Rhonda interrupted. “Let’s get to the final challenge…”


The newcomers, out of their swimsuits and no longer covered in mud, now stood over the sidewalk of a busy Washington street. It was the large inclining road from the first challenge, the Pentagram Hotel seen in the distance at the end of the hill. From up the sidewalk, Toby, Jenny and Rhonda pulled two toboggans with wheels also from the first challenge. 

Rhonda dropped on the ground, heaving and huffing deep breathes. “The final...trust...challenge. It's a partner's sled...race, where one of you will steer...blind...folded. The other...gives...directions. Why am I so out of shape?” 

Riley jumped in place, raising her hand. “Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!”

“We all know why Rhonda’s out of shape,” Jenny said. 

“No,” Riley said. “I want to do this challenge! I didn’t get to do wrestling again, I at least want to do this one!”

Rhonda forced herself off of the ground. “You want to do the deadly race through traffic blind?”

Riley nodded. “Sounds fun!”

“At least somebody has some enthusiasm,” Rhonda stated. “Alright you can be blindfolded, while Ness is your partner!”

“Ooh yeah!” Riley cheered. “Me and Loch Ness got this!”

“Let’s make it girls versus girls then,” Rhonda said. “Cynthia will steer, Melissa will direct.” 

Melissa smiled and glomped her eerie bestie. “We have this in the bag.”

“A body bag,” Xidorn whispered to Vance. 

“We roll in five,” Rhonda said. “Everybody else, head back to the Pentagram."


The other teens started to walk back to the Pentagram, grumbling at having just gotten here.

Kalino grabbed Xidorn’s sleeve and pulled him to the back. “Can we talk?”

“Of course,” Xidorn said. “Is there something on your mind?”

“Not to be a dog and stick my nose in your business,” Kalino said, “but I got to know...do you really want to be done with Seraphina?”

“No,” Xidorn admitted. “Talking to her at the challenge was nice...but I’m still hurt.”

“Trust me,” Kalino said, “if you care about her, don’t let her slip away. Sometimes there’s a time limit you have to be with someone and make it work...and you can never go back to that place where you were in love once its up.”

“I...I can understand that,” Xidorn said. 

“I mean did she cheat on you or something?” Kalino asked.

“Nothing like that,” Xidorn replied.  “She just told a big lie for this game...she said it was to help me but I think she crossed the line.”

Kalino rubbed the back of his head. “I gotcha. This is just me, but I wouldn’t let it come between you two.”

“Really?” Xidorn asked.

“Sometimes we do things we regret,” Kalino said. “It sounds like it was for a good reason.”

“I don’t think so,” Xidorn replied. “She didn’t trust me enough, why should I trust her?”

“Give her the chance to earn it,” Kalino replied. “I mean if I betrayed someone’s trust like that...well, I'd want a second chance. Everyone would.” 

Xidorn kicked the ground. “Am I being selfish?”

“Not necessarily,” Kalino replied. “But I wouldn’t call it a dealbreaker. If it's really love, it's a learning experience for both of you about each other. It's a tiny hurdle on the way to happiness.”

Xidorn pulled Kalino in for a big hug. “Thank you. Really, thank you. You have a way with words with Kalino.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Kalino replied. “So what lie did she tell anyway?”

“Ooh it's silly…”


Kalino sat silently in the confessional for a moment, before exhaling heavily. “So apparently that little rumor that got Frannie sent home...was spread by Seraphina. Huh. Who’d have guessed.”

The surfer sighed, slouching in the seat. “Maybe I would have fallen too hard for Frannie, would’ve got distracted. Now I only have one goal; win this thing. What Seraphina did doesn’t change that.”

Kalino sat up and smiled. “Though I do plan on returning the favor. Let’s see if her tarot cards can predict which of her close friends I take down first.” 


“Go!” Rhonda shouted. 

The two sleds pushed off, the Fireworks wobbling towards traffic while the Eagles dashed forward.

“Left!” Ness screamed, Riley narrowly swerving. .”Right, Right! Left! Ahh, look out! Incoming old lady!

A crunching noise was heard as they passed by. “Aah my hip!”

“Incoming mom!”

“Aah my baby!”

“Incoming Rhonda!”

“Aah, my few remaining shreds of dignity!” 

“Whoops,” Riley laughed. “You don't think she noticed I almost hit her, do you?”

“Almost?” Ness cried. “Aah, fire hydrant! Right, right!” 


Melissa and Cynthia swerved back and forth through the street. 

“Left!” Melissa called. Cynthia swerved easily out of the way of a car. 

“Right!” Melissa stated, Cynthia dodging again. 

“Trash can dead ahead!” Melissa said. 

From behind her back Cynthia grabbed her chainsaw and slashed the can in half. The two girls high fived as they took the lead. 


At the Pentagram, Toby and Jenny watched the race through binoculars. 

“It looks like things are getting too tame,” Jenny stated. 

Out of her pocket, the mischievous redhead pulled out another of Toby’s contraptions. This time it was a TV remote with an antennae and covered in duct tape. 

“How were you able to legally do any of this again?” Seraphina asked. Secretly she hoped to distract the redhead from her latest scheme.

Instead, Jenny pressed all the buttons on the gadget first. “Ooh, the coppers don’t care about any of this! They have bigger issues to worry about.” 

Seraphina raised an eyebrow. “Bigger issues?” 

“Haven’t you heard?” Toby asked. “The subway system has been temporarily closed after a horrible crash. Say the mad horse caused it.”

All the newcomers turned to look at Vance, who bent down and pretended to be tying his laceless boot. 

“Weeee!” Riley laughed, the sled spinning in circles as cars swerved left and right to avoid the teens. “Look Ness, no hands!”

Ness covered her eyes as her face turned green. “I don’t think I can. At least it can’t get any worse.” 

Suddenly a boom was heard. Ness immediately dropped her hands as explosions started going off. 

“Where do they keep getting all these land mines?” Ness cried. 


“Where do you keep getting all these land mines?” Seraphina questioned, Jenny going crazy pressing the buttons. 

“Rhonda said it's because of the original show,” Jenny explained. “The show always had that questionably legal angle, you know? But as the seasons went on it became deadlier and deadlier as the host became nastier and nastier. It had coat following with sadists as result.”

“Cult following,” Toby corrected. “Which anyone with a sixth grade vocabulary would know.”

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny snapped. 

“I’m noticing a pattern with these seasons,” Seraphina said. “So the explosives?”

“Generous donations from sadistic fans who want to support a new version of their favorite program,” Jenny replied. 

“Why couldn’t they just write stories on the internet like the other nerds?” Vance asked. 

Xidorn pouted. “You said you liked my Overwatch fanfiction.” 


As the race continued, the explosives proved to be hardly any obstacle for Cynthia and Melissa, who seemed to move with inhuman precision. 

“We’re almost there!” Melissa cheered. 

The same couldn’t be said with Riley and Ness, the jinx trying to pat out on a fire on the bro’s wolf hat. 

“Do you think we’re close Ness?” Riley asked. 

“I don’t even know if we’re on the same street,” Ness admitted. 

“Oops,” Riley laughed. “Hey, maybe we’ll get lucky and catch up.”

Before Ness could reply, an explosion went off. Riley and Ness screamed as their now burning were launched far into the air...landing a little ahead of Melissa and Cynthia. 

“Wooo!” Riley cheered. “I guess we did get lucky Ness.”

Ness coughed out black smoke. “Yeah...I...I guess so…”

“Uh oh,” Melissa said. “They flew right in front of us!”

“Flew?” Cynthia asked. 

“I have no idea either,” Melissa replied. 

Cynthia nodded. She leaned forward, Melissa following suit, putting their weight forward. Swerving from traffic lane to lane, they swooped in next to the Fizzled Fireworks. 

Rhonda, now having joined the onlookers, watched with her binoculars. “They’re entering the home stretch and they’re neck and neck!” 

Melissa whispered in Cynthia’s ears. The eerie girl nodded, and in flash pulled out her chainsaw. Ness shrieked as Cynthia sawed the half sled. With a kick, she send Ness flying into a dumpster. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” Melissa called. 

“What’s going on Loch Ness?” Riley asked. “Ness...you alive back there?” 

With the loss of weight, Riley easily slid forward and crossed the finish line, followed by the Eagles. 

Riley lifted her blindfold. “Uhhh…”

“Well since all of the Fireworks didn’t cross the finish line,” Rhonda stated. “The win has to go to Cynthia and Melissa, meaning the Molting Eagles win today’s challenge!”

The Molting Eagles cheered, Melissa glomping Cynthia again as the male Eagles high-fived each other. 

Ness came running up to the finish line, immediately frowning upon seeing the Eagles. 

Riley patted the blonde girl. “Hey don’t worry Nessie, it couldn’t be helped. We at least had fun on the ride here, yeah?” 

Ness smiled slightly. “Yeah, a little.”

“Hopefully you’ll have even more fun at tonight’s Internet Cafe Elimination ceremony,” Rhonda announced. “I’ll see you there Fizzled Fireworks, where another one of your teammates will get the boot.” 

Rhonda turned to the celebrating Molting Eagles. “Later tonight, we’ll give you the special reward you won Eagles.”

“Another five star dinner under the stars?” Weston asked. 

“Nope,” Rhonda replied. “For today’s challenge you proved you trust each other pretty well...for now. But as another test, each of you will be picking another Eagles’ reward!”

The Eagles looked at each other in confusion. Rhonda stepped forward, now holding a magician’s top hat in her hand. “In here are six pieces of folded paper, each listing three possible rewards. Each of you have been randomly assigned a teammate. You’ll draw a list, then pick a reward from the list for your teammate in the confessional after the elimination tonight. ” 

“Interesting idea,” Xidorn admitted. “Allows a lot of choice involved.”

“Yeah, we stole it from another fanfiction,” Jenny replied. “Err...were ‘inspired’.”

Rhonda rolled her eyes. “We have permission. Some of these rewards are fabulous...others not so much. The lists are meant to be secret, so you can’t tell anyone of the other options. You’ll just have to trust your teammate gave you the best option.”

Rhonda allowed each Eagle to draw a list, but warned not to open it until their alone.

“Now here’s the choosers; Cynthia will pick for Xidorn, Xidorn will pick for Weston, Weston will pick for Vance, Vance will pick for Melissa, Melissa will pick for Kalino, and Kalino will pick for Cynthia."

"You have tonight to think and decide. Choose wisely, you might regret it later...”


Later, Xidorn was in his usual TV watching room, reviewing his list as a movie played in the background. “Hmm…”

“Hey, can we talk?”

Seraphina stood in the doorway. 

“Yeah, I was hoping to see you,” Xidorn said with a smile.

The psychic took a seat on the couch. “Invasion of the Living Pants, that’s a good one.”

“I’d ask you to join...but you have business tonight,” Xidorn replied. “How’s that?”

“It's between two people who I don’t want to go home,” Seraphina stated. “So, nothing new. Listen...I want to say I’m sorry for spreading that stupid rumor. I should have talked you.”

“I appreciate it,” Xidorn replied. “I don’t want to be rude...I get you did it for me, but I don’t understand why you didn’t talk to me? For a relationship to work we have to talk…”

“I gave into my fears and doubts,” Seraphina admitted. “I didn’t believe you could stay and we could keep dating...and I made it so we couldn’t.”

“So do you not have faith in me?” Xidorn asked. 

“I just don’t have faith in the world,” Seraphina said. “Sometimes I think...I used to be an optimist. I was like you Xidorn.”

“Why'd that change?” Xidorn asked. 

“I learned not to trust,” Seraphina replied. “From my mom raising me, to not be able to control my powers and being rejected because of them...too many bad things happened.”

Xidorn pulled Seraphina closer to him. She rested on his shoulder. “You know, I used to be more cynical. Then I realized I was kind of acting like my grandfather. He was a nasty guy...once I lied about breaking a window and he broke my arm.”

“God,” Seraphina said. “I’m sorry Xidorn…”

Xidorn shrugged. “He was a piece of work...but I still loved him. He passed away a couple years after; on his deathbed he didn’t have kind words...that made me realize I didn’t want to be that. I wanted to feel happy about myself, by being honest and being the best person I could be. "

Xidorn sighed. “Life kind of taught me the opposite lesson Seraphina...I have faith life has those things for me. Like corny movies, the stars, food, good friends, good memories and experiences...I have all that, and my grandfather can’t change that.” 

Seraphina wiped away a few tears. “You’re too good for me Xidorn.”

Xidorn laughed. “I’m just a geek in a suspenders. Seraphina...I still really like you. I know that we are different though…”

“We’re really the same too,” Seraphina said. “I want to focus on that. I mean even in the way you're different...I like the differences. I...I want to have faith in us, that we can work. I want to be an optimist...it might just take awhile.”

“I believe in you,” Xidorn replied.

“That reminds me,” Seraphina stated. “I got you something.”

Seraphina reached into her pocket and pulled out something. She grabbed Xidorn’s hand and put it in his palm; the unicorn pin.

Xidorn laughed. “Oh my god, I love it! It’s so cute!”

“I saw it at the mall,” Seraphina said. “It made me think of you, and not just the blue hair.”

“So what, do you believe in unicorns?” Xidorn joked.

“Yeah...yeah I do,” Seraphina replied. 

“It's time Fizzled Fireworks,” Rhonda announced over the P.A. 

Seraphina groaned. “I have to go...but I hope I’ll see you again.”

Seraphina stood up, as did Xidorn. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close to him. The two kissed for a moment.  


“Naturally the outcome we wanted to avoid transpired,” Ignacio sighed, shoving his hands into his sweatshirt pockets. “No one wants to vote off each other...we’re a family. But the wounds are still open from last night...and I’m once again a swing vote between Ness and Easton. 

“Both sides think the other has a reason, and both Easton and Ness are valuable to the team in their own way. I really like both of them. But I’m not going to risk another tie…”


“Welcome to elimination again Fireworks,” Rhonda announced. “Given how things went last time, I’m a little concerned for you. When I call your name, you will receive a cup of delicious cinnamon mocha coffee...except one of you, who most of your peers have deemed worthy of getting rid of. The first cup goes to...Ignacio.” 

“Griswold...Seraphina…” 

The brunettes shared a look. 

“Lita...Riley…”

The two caught their coffee cups, and each turned to their friend.

“Once again, Easton and Ness are in the bottom two,” Rhonda stated. “But this time there is no tiebreaker; one of you will be going home. The final coffee cup goes to…































“...Ness. I’m afraid it's over Easton.”

Easton sighed. “It was fun while it lasted.”

“I’m sorry,” Ness replied. “I wish-”

“-Don’t sweat it,” Easton interrupted, bringing in the unlucky girl for a hug. “You did what you had to. Stay strong.”

Ignacio stood up, rubbing the back of his head. “I feel I have to apologize to you too. I admire your intellect and consider you a friend...but I also value Ness. I couldn’t decide.”

Easton smiled. “I’m not going to hold it against you; you were in a tough spot. But I have to ask...why?”

“The truth is…”


In the final episode, Ignacio’s earlier confessional was edited here.  

“But I’m not going to risk another tie. So...let's leave it up to luck.” 

Out of his sweatshirt, the model pulled a quarter. “Heads I vote Ness, tails I vote Easton.”

Flipping the quarter with his thumb, Ignacio held his palm open and let the quarter rest upon it.


“That appeared the only fair way to decide,” Ignacio admitted. 

“That makes sense, that should technically be an equal probability,” Easton replied, hugging the model. “I appreciate being given a fair chance. You’re still a bro in my book.”

Ness stared at her coffee cup. “I was...lucky?” 

Easton fist bumped Lita and Seraphina as he made his way to the Revolving Doors of Shame. He stopped before them, hugging Griswold and Riley. 

“Thanks for being my bros in this game,” Easton stated. “Couldn’t have asked for better.”

“Of course man,” Griswold sniffled. “We’re gonna miss you.” 

“Take it easy brocep,” Riley stated, fist bumping the twin. 

Easton nodded and headed towards the Revolving Doors Of Shame.

“Is...is there anything you want us to tell your brother?”

“No. Nothing at all.” 

Chapter 13 The Maze Of Our Lives[]

While the Fizzled Fireworks were voting off one of their own, the Molting Eagles were making their way to the closed elevator confessional one by one. To recap, for winning the last challenge the Eagles won a special reward; from a random list they’d choose a teammate’s reward. Behind the buttons on the elevator wall, a secret slot existed, which Rhonda had instructed the Eagles to use to submit their decisions. 


Kalino sat in the confessional, slouched as usual. “This might have been easier if I wasn’t picking for...Cynthia.”

He looked to his left then right despite the elevator’s small size. “I feel like Cynthia could find out the options I had...she might already now. I swear she’s like...magic or something. The problem are my choices; I can give her an, “all expenses paid trip to the local garbage dump...” and start planning my funeral.”

Kalino shuddered. “But my other option is a ‘vote steal’ advantage. Right now, I’d like to be the only one with any deus ex-machina game changer advantages, you dig? Which just leaves a coupon book. Hopefully I can talk to one of the Cynthia whisperers and have them convince her it was the best option.”


Melissa looked over list. “I like the idea of giving each other rewards; it seems sweet...if I wasn’t sure Ms. Rhonda wants to cause drama with it. Hopefully we’ll keep it sweet.”

Melissa tapped her chin. “I have Kalino. I think he’s nice and glad he’s on my team...but he hasn’t always been honest with me in some of the previous votes. I’m willing to move past that, but…”

Melissa sighed and shook her head. “The best option on the list is probably a, “golden immunity flash drive that will be secretly delivered in a chocolate gift basket”. With the merge approaching, it’d ensure Kalino’s safety. Truthfully, I’d love it if the Eagles could keep acting like a team at the merge...but only one of us can win and the guys are really tight. Cynthia is my BFFFL, but I’m not as close with the others as I thought. I feel like I would be the first one they’d vote off when comes down to it. Not to mention I really do like the Fireworks, some have been awfully nice to me...”

The sweetheart sat there for a few moments, before scribbling on the sheet. “I’ll give Kalino a free shopping trip to the mall! I feel horrible not picking the best option, but it's a lot of power. What if he used it at the final six and gets me out instead...if things even turn out like that. I mean, no one would give someone the golden immunity flash drive if there’s no trust, right?”


“Melissa has almost no trust in me,” Vance explained. “So I’m going to give her a golden immunity flash-drive. It’ll be delivered secretly in a chocolate gift basket. I figure I do this, and she’ll trust me again! Not to mention I guess I do feel bad about hurting the little lass...it feels like the right thing to do.”


An hour after elimination, the Fizzled Fireworks packed into the dining room. The Molting Eagles were already seated, except for one. 

“Oh dearie my,” Melissa whispered. “They voted off Easton. Is Weston going to be okay Cynthia?”

“He won’t admit he isn’t,” Cynthia said. 

“Speaking of one of my little deputies...where is he?” Vance asked. “Cynthia you didn’t…”

The cowboy gulped as he felt her unblinking eyes looking upon him. “...see him, did you?”

“I don’t know if I can say,” Xidorn stated. “But I may have an idea where he is…”

Rhonda stood in front of the cafeteria line, a smile on her face. “Now that...most of us are here, I’d like to reveal the Eagles’ prizes to everyone. First up, Weston chose to give Vance a Greatest Hits’ album of popular boy band, One Rejection.”

Vance pouted as Rhonda tossed him the album. “Psh, I gave Melissa a way better gift than some crappy boy band.”


“Vance is from way out in the country,” Ness stated. “Naturally he hasn’t had a chance to hear how great One Rejection is! I’m so jealous he got that, it's not even in stores yet! I heard it even has the original recording of “You’re That Girl Who Did That Thing”. Hehe, it's one of my faves.”


“I’m getting to your pick Vance,” Rhonda stated. “Tomorrow morning, courtesy of Vance, Melissa will receive a gift basket of chocolates. What a sweet surprise.”

Melissa gasped as she looked at the cowboy, who winked and tilted his hat. 

“Melissa chose to give Kalino a shopping trip to Tyson’s Corner Center Mall,” Rhonda explained. “He’ll have fifty dollars to spend!”

“Sweeeet!” Kalino exclaimed. “Thanks Melissa, I’ll have to get you a gift for giving me the best prize.”

Melissa forced a laugh. “Haha, of course.”

“Kalino is going to let Cynthia do a little shopping too,” Rhonda said. “He chose to give her a coupon book.”

A hushed silence fell over the room as Kalino gulped and smiled at Cynthia.

“Thanks.” Cynthia replied. “I won’t forget it.”

“Cynthia chose to give Xidorn two free movie tickets to the local theater,” Rhonda stated. 

“Thanks a million Cynthia,” Xidorn stated. “This will be great for a date night between me and Seraphina.”

“Nice to hear you two lovebirds worked it out,” Kalino whispered. 

“It seems like almost everyone enjoyed their rewards,” Rhonda replied. “Remember, you still can’t admit what the other options were. But you all got the best prizes your teammate could choose...right? I mean, some secret advantages were options on a few lists after all…”

All of the newcomers eyes grew wide. The Molting Eagles gave looks at each other. 

“Well, I think that’s everything,” Rhonda stated, turning away. “Goodnight everybody!”

“Wait!” Melissa stated. “What about Weston?”

Rhonda turned around, a grin on her face. “Oh yes...what about Weston? Why isn’t is he? Shed some light for us Xidorn; what did you pick his reward to be?”

“Well the best reward on my sheet,” Xidorn explained, “was, “The chance to earn ten thousand dollars.” Weston is my bud, and a fellow film buff, so I thought he should have it.”

“Heartwarming,” Rhonda said. “So let’s see if Weston can earn that ten thousand dollars…”

A TV screen descended down from the ceiling in front of the newcomers. Rhonda motioned to the cameras, who zoomed in on the screen…


“Ahhhhhhh!”

A thud was heard in dark room. Lights shot on, revealing the still scorched stage. Weston dusted a few ashes off himself as he picked himself up. 

“I can’t believe I fell down a trap door...again,” Weston admitted. “That’s the third time today. Hmm...are they ever gonna actually clean this stage or just leave it burnt looking?”

As the other lights dimmed, red and blue lights flashed. Out from stage left, where all the red lights seemed to be stationed, skipped out Jenny. From stage right, where the blue lights shone, was Toby. 

“Welcome Weston,” they greeted in unison. 

“Uhh...is it time for a challenge already?” Weston asked. 

“No,” Toby replied. “We’re here to give you your reward from today’s challenge, courtesy of Xidorn.”

“Ahh!” Weston exclaimed. “Thanks Xi for...whatever it is.”

“A chance for ten thousand big ones,” Jenny replied. She held her hands behind her back as she swayed on the heels of her shoes.

“So it is a challenge?” Weston asked.

“Oh no,” Jenny giggled. “It's really quite easy.”

A podium appeared next to Jenny, displaying an oversized check. “You can leave with it...you just have to do a little something first.” 

“Sure!” Weston replied. “I’ll do whatever!”

Jenny clapped. “Wonderful. You’ll need this.”

From behind her back, she pulled out a hammer. Next to Toby a cart containing eleven old computer monitors rose from the stage floor. 

“What’s that?” Weston asked. 

“Ooh nothing,” Jenny replied. “You just need to smash that cart of junk, then you can take your money and go.”

Weston looked at the cart, to the check and back and forth for a whole minute. “Why?”

“Why do you care?” Jenny asked. “Just take the money and go silly.”

“They’re old computers I was able to repurpose,” Toby interrupted. “They have video chats hooked up on them.”

“Video chats to who?”

“Friends and family of all your competitors,” Toby said.


The other newcomers gasped. 

“Our families are there?” Ignacio asked. Rhonda nodded, but held a finger to her lip.


Weston scratched his head. “What’s really going on?”

“You prize is a chance at ten thousand dollars,” Jenny explained. “This is your chance. You can take the money and destroy the computers…”

“...or you can let the others talk to their friends and families and destroy the check,” Toby finished.


“Oh my god,” Lita cried out. “You mean my brother might be on there?”

“Your brother is on there,” Rhonda stated. “So are Ignacio’s parents, Kalino’s dad, Melissa’s mom, Riley’s brothers, and so many of your friends and loved ones.”

“How?” Lita asked. “We don’t even own a computer?”

“We arranged it,” Rhonda explained. 


“The show went to everyone’s homes and found their loved ones,” Toby explained. “They’re under the impression they're waiting for the other newcomers to talk to them...but if they don’t answer, it's because they chose not to talk to them.”


“Why the **** would you tell them that?” Riley asked. 

“More drama,” Rhonda replied, with a little laugh. 

“You’re heartless,” Griswold said. 

Melissa shook her head as everyone else glared at the hostess. 


“So all our loved ones are expecting us?” Weston asked.

“No,” Jenny replied. “You don’t have a computer. If you choose that prize, you leave with nothing.”

“How’s that fair?” Weston asked.

“Its not,” Toby replied. “So, what do you choose?”


“Oh Weston,” Lita cried. “Is it bad I want him to pick us.”

“I don’t know,” Ignacio admitted. “But I want him to…”


“I don’t know,” Weston admitted. “I have to think about this…”

“What’s there to think about?” Jenny asked. “It's ten thousand dollars! Why wouldn’t you pick it?”

“But the others…”

“The others?” Jenny asked. “What about the others? Most of them would have picked the money.”

“No they wouldn’t have...would they?” Weston asked. 

“I guarantee it,” Jenny stated. “I mean, what do you owe them anyway?”

“True,” Toby replied. “It's not like Xidorn chose this reward for you.”

“Yeah, your reward,” Jenny said. “The rest of the Eagles got rewards, what about you?”

Weston pouted. “Well…”

“Do you want to give it to the Fireworks?” Jenny asked. “To Easton and the friends he replaced you with?”


“Easton isn’t even here,” Griswold pointed out.

“Weston doesn’t know that,” Rhonda replied.

“Does he even know we can see this?” Kalino asked.

“He has no idea.”


“You really want Easton to talk to your folks,” Jenny continued. “Let them visit their favorite son.”

“Of course I don’t want Easton to have it!” Weston shouted.

“Even if your brother misses your family?” Toby asked.

“They’ll all see their loved ones again,” Jenny replied.

“You’re right, they’ve just been away from home for over a month,” Toby said. “They probably won’t see their loved ones for even longer. You’ve got the once chance they have.”

“It's not like they’ll know you didn’t give it to them Weston,” Jenny explained. “You don’t have to explain how you won the money, you can make up something.”

“Yeah, lie to your friends and girlfriend,” Toby said. “That sounds like it won’t backfire.”

“Think about what this money could buy,” Jenny said. “I mean, right now you have a one-in-twelve shot of winning. If you lose, you get nothing. At least you can still get the money.”

“Is ten thousand a lot?” Weston asked. 

“I don’t think so,” Toby replied. “It’ll be easy to burn through.”

“Maybe,” Jenny said. “Maybe not. I mean it could at least help out your family, or even in college. Which college are you going to?”

“I...I have no idea,” Weston admitted. “I don’t even know what I want to do at college…”

“Well with that money you can go to plenty of colleges,” Jenny replied. “I mean, Easton has money going to college. Why not show you can earn some too?”

Weston stepped forward.

“You know if it was someone what you would want them to pick,” Toby stated. 

“Do you really want to remembered as the guy who gave this up?” Jenny asked. “The Internet will be calling you an idiot for ages if you do this.”

“You know what the right option is,” Toby said. “You know what you want to pick.”

“Yes, you do,” Jenny agreed. 

Weston sighed and went over to the check. 

Jenny flashed a grin at her sidekick as Weston lifted up the check. The grin quickly fell as the younger twin tore the check in half. 

“I don’t know if I made the right choice,” Weston admitted. “But I’m sticking by it.”

Jenny sulked off. For a second, Toby half-smiled, but returned to his usual expression as he pushed the cart to Weston. 

“Now what?” Weston asked.

“You go up,” Toby replied.

Weston raised an eyebrow as a platform shot up from under him. The ceiling opened up, taking the twin and cart all the way into the dining room. 

“Huh?” 

“Weston!” 

The newcomers cheered as the raced to Weston, many pulling the confused kid in for a hug or thanking him while crying. 

“What’s going on?” Weston asked.

“We saw the whole thing,” Xidorn stated. “You made the right choice!”

“I don’t know how to thank you,” Lita cried.

“Haha, it isn’t a big deal...wait, where’s Easton?”

“He...was voted off tonight,” Ness said. “I’m so sorry he’s not here Weston.”

“He’d be totally proud of you Bromer Simpson,” Riley said. 

Weston looked away. “I don’t even really care.”

“I’m afraid we don’t have anything for you Weston,” Rhonda said. “You can stay if you want…”

“Weston can have my call,” Kalino suggested. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Weston said. 

“I really don’t mind man,” Kalino replied. 

“I’m afraid it's not allowed,” Rhonda replied. “Weston doesn’t get a call; that was the deal. Now for privacy’s sake, you’ll do your calls one on one in the confessional. Oh, and don’t think of asking for spoilers. If you try, kiss this all goodbye. So who's first?”


Vance gulped as he opened the laptop. A trio of girls in cowboys hats appeared on the screen, sitting inside what looks like a stadium. Vance sighed in relief. 

“Ooooh Vance,” the girls swooned. 

Vance smirked and tipped his cowboy hat. “Ladies. How are you?”

“We’ve missed you Vance,” a blonde girl said. “The rodeo just hasn’t been the same without you.” 

Vance blew his knuckles. “I’d imagine; not as daring or sexy without me.” 

The girls nodded. 

“What’s it like there?” a brunette girl asked. “I bet the girls there are really pretty? You’ve probably forgot all about us.” 

“You know I couldn’t forget about you Jenna,” Vance stated. 

“Umm…it's Rachel,” the girl replied. 


Riley opened her laptop. She was greeted by a chorus of, “Brah!” 

On the screen were eight men with similar features to Riley, all older than her ranging from in their thirties to mid twenties. A few of the older men were dressed more normal and casual, in white beaters and sweats, but many had a fashion sense just as ‘stylish’ as Riley. Only one stood out, dressed more professionally. 

“Bros!” Riley cheered, wiping a tear. 

“Aww you miss us Ry.”

Riley laughed. “Shut up! You know I do! And to see you all there...it's rare these days. You know, with life going on and stuff. I hate I’m missing out.”

“It’s all cause of you Riley,” the eldest said. “To support our little sis, who's kicking butt out there! How is it?”

“Are you having fun?”

“You making a lot of friends?”

“Is the food good?”

“Have you gone skating in Washington?”

“You told any girls we’re single?”

“Seriously, what is the deal with the food?”

Riley laughed and shook her head. “You guys! One at a time...”


Cynthia opened her laptop. Her video showed an walking down the streets of what seemed like a small town. 

Caww! Caww!

A harsh screeching echoed in the background, the call of a crow. It seemed on every roof, tree branch, and power line sat a murder of crows, who stared directly at the computer’s camera lens. 

A blond teen and a redheaded girl walked down the street, looking at each other with loving eyes. 

“Hey,” the teen shouted, running towards the teens. “Total Drama here; anything you want to say to your classmate Cynthia?” 

The two teens’ eyes widened, the boy focused on in the screen. “Uhh…hey Cynthia, hope you win, heh, heh. I’d stay to talk longer but um…I have to…”

A crunching noise and a scream was heard. “I have to talk my girlfriend to the hospital! Yeah, she just fell in front of car. Crazy right? Bye!” 

The blond ran off, picking up the redhead from the windshield of car. The driver saw Cynthia, immediately started backing up their car, and drove off into an alleyway.

The intern turned and focused on a girl with short black hair exiting a store. “Hey you, thoughts you’d like to share with Cynthia? We’re live with her right now!”

The girl gulped but forced a smile. “Oh yeah, I’ve been watching. Cynthia’s done so well. I was kind of surprised to see her friendship with Melissa and her dating Weston…but I think it's super cute. I totally ship it Cynthia haha.”

The girl smiled at the camera. Cynthia stared at the screen.

The girl stood there awkwardly, her smile fading and her eyes shifting back and forth, before bursting into tears and running away…only screaming, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry…” 

“What is wrong with this place?” the intern asked. As if in response, a crow attacked the intern. The man screamed as crow screeching intensified. The feed cut off. 

Cynthia stood up and walked away. “That was more fun than I thought it would be.” 


Ignacio took a deep breath before opening the screen. On the screen were an older Hispanic couple at a small table. Their faces lit up as they saw Ignacio. 

"¡Mamá! ¡Papá!"

“¡Ignacio!"

"¿Cómo estás mi hijo?"

"Estoy bien, estoy teniendo un mejor momento de lo que pensaba."

"Estamos muy orgullosos de ti Ignacio! La mayoría de los padres desean que puedan ser tan buenos como los niños como tú.”

"Y la mayoría de los niños no se dan cuenta de que podrían tener padres tan amables como tú".

Ignacio wiped away tears.

"Entonces ... ¿Conoces a alguna linda niña Ignacio?"

"¡Mamá!"


Xidorn opened his computer. A purple haired Vietnamese preteen girl smiled and waved. 

“Cousin Vy!” Xidorn cheered. “Did you...did you dye your hair?”

“You like it?” Vy asked. 

Xidorn laughed. “I love it! I just can’t believe Aunt Rose and Uncle Van let you...they let you, didn’t they?”

“Yes, they did,” Vy giggled. “It's in honor of you! You and how awesome you are on the show!”

“Really?” Xidorn asked. “Your family is watching?”

“All of our family is,” Vy said. “And thinks you’re doing great! Your family is too; you’re mom, sister and your dad! They’re all really proud of you!”

“My dad is watching?” Xidorn asked. “They are?”

Vy nodded excitedly. “We all are! Team Xidorn all the way!”


Griswold opened his laptop. A locker room appeared on the screen, where football players walk around with towels around their waists. They notice the camera is on and cheer. 

“Griswold!”

“Grizzlywold in the house!”

“Woop! Woop!”

“Go Bulldogs!”

Griswold chuckled. “Guys! It looks like the whole team is here! What are you doing?”

“Just some summer practice rounds,” one of Gris’ teammates replied. “Coach is ticked you’re gone...but still rooting for you!”

“You’re taking good care of the lucky jockstrap aren’t you?”

“Of course,” Griswold replied. “We need it at our opening game. It's done me pretty good so far.”

“We’ve seen,” another teammate said. “You’ve been having some success with the ladies.”

A chorus of chuckles and cheers erupted from the locker room. 

Griswold turned redder than his varsity jacket. “Me and Lita aren’t a thing…”

“What about that hot skater chick?” one of his teammates asked. 

“Riley?” Griswold asked. “I mean she’s the most awesome person ever...but I never thought about dating her…”

“Well you should! Half of the school ships you with her.”

“Yeah, and who does the other half of the school ship me with?” Griswold asked. 

“Ignacio…”


Melissa jumped in place as she opened her laptop; on the screen sat an older woman who looked like Melissa, wearing a hijab. 

“Melissa!” 

“Mother! I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too dear,” the woman replied. “It's strange; I know you’re still in the same city, yet I haven’t seen you in over a month. Are you well?”

“I’m good,” Melissa replied. “Better now that I’m talking to you.”

“It looks like you’ve been very brave,” Melissa’s mother said. “I didn’t think you could do a show like this to be honest...I’m happy to be wrong. You also got your first boyfriend…”

Melissa blushed and chuckled. “Hehe, yeah. Aiden’s a sweetie. You’ll love him.”

“Ooh I already do,” Melissa’s mother replied. “Your father though…”


Ness opened her laptop and frowned. At a mall somewhere, a large crowd of teenagers were waiting for the message. 

“Is that everyone from school?” Ness asked. “I thought this was my loved ones visit?”

“Oh my god,” a girl laughed. “Look everyone! Its Ness the mess!”

The crowd roared in cheers and laughter. 

“Total Drama came to town and said they wanted someone to talk to you,” a boy explained. “We decided we wanted to tell you how amazing we all thought you were on the show.”

Ness raised an eyebrow. “You...do?”

“Oh 'totally'," a girl replied. “We had no idea you could be that pathetic for millions of people to see!”

The teens laughed. “I mean we thought you were a mess at school, but you really proved it on Total Drama!”

“I can’t believe you made it past first boot...but god am I glad you did haha!”

“I’ve been making a compilation of all your fails so far,” another voice said. “Its too many videos.”

“I’m not doing that bad,” Ness sighed. “I...I almost at the merge.” 

“If your team doesn’t wise up and eliminate you, once they stop feeling sorry for you.”

“Ooh by the way Ness,” a boy said. “How are you and your boyfriend Pascal doing?”

The crowd made kissing noises. 

“You know what...who cares what any of you losers think!”

The crowd went silence. 

“Why should I?” Ness asked. “You all applied to Total Drama and none of them wanted you! You’re all just a bunch of insecure creeps who can’t think for themselves! I’ve worked hard to get here, and you can’t take that away. So choke on that!”

Ness slammed the laptop closed. She took deep breaths. “Wow...I’ve never raised my voice that much. ...I kinda liked it.”


Kalino opened up his laptop. The screen showed a desk in a lawyer’s office. Sitting at the desk was a man of Pacific Island descent, black hair cut short and slicked back, talking on the phone. 

“Yes, yes I know! But I gave a deadline, and I want it met by that deadline!”

Kalino shook his head, coughing. 

The lawyer turned to the screen. “I’ll have to call you back… hello Kalino.”

“Yo Daddy-O,” Kalino replied. “Is this a bad time, I can call back.”

“Nonsense, this is your only call,” Kalino’s father replied.

Kalino frowned. “Oh...darn.”

“It's good to see you son,” Kalino’s father replied. “I really wanted to talk to you.”

“You did?” Kalino asked. “Uh..well, thanks dad...”

“My secretary has been keeping me updated on how you’re doing on the show,” Kalino’s father continued. “So has your sister Iolana. We agree that it might be best for you to...leave the show.”

“Leave?”

“My firm can settle the legal matters and have you out in days,” Kalino’s father continued. “I mean you’re not going to win, so why don’t we have you do something more productive, right?”

“You know, the others have talked to their loved ones,” Kalino stated. “Telling them how much they miss them, how proud they are...and I get to talk to you. No, ‘how are you?’ No, ‘I miss you’...”

“Son, please I didn’t-”

“- Weston didn’t get to talk to anyone,” Kalino continued. “I tried to give him my call, but Rhonda wouldn’t let me. He doesn’t get to speak to his loved ones, but I get to hear how disappointed you are. Yippee for me.” 

Kalino closed the laptop. “Not today old man. I’m not going through this today.”


Seraphina stood outside the confessional, laptop in hand, Ness beside her. Lita rushed out of the confessional, crying heavily. Seraphina and Ness pulled her in for a hug. 

“You talk to your brother?” Ness asked. 

Lita nodded. “We...we don’t own a TV, but he said he knew I was kicking butt. It was just great to see him.”

Lita grabbed Seraphina’s shawl and blew her nose in it. “Oh...sorry Seraphina.”

Seraphina giggled. “I can wash it. I’m glad you got to talk to him.”

“It's your turn now,” Lita sighed. 

“Do I have too?” Seraphina asked. 

“Rhonda said it was your school that wanted to talk to you,” Lita replied. 

“My school doesn’t even know I exist,” Seraphina replied. “I don’t even show up enough. I mean, what if Rhonda’s setting me up like poor Ness…”

“Like I said, my message was nothing,” Ness replied. “You could handle them for sure.”

“Rhonda better watch herself,” Lita stated. “If she thinks she can pull that crap on y’all, and keep up her nasty tricks, karma will get her. And in this case, karma might be my fist in her face.” 

Seraphina sighed. “Alright, here goes nothing…”


Seraphina opened her laptop; the screen showed a couch in a dimly lit living room. An older woman sat there, dressed in cheap jewelry and with sharp features. 

“Crap, you’re here,” Seraphina groaned. “I knew that school thing couldn’t be true…”

“Is that any way to greet your mother,” the woman replied. “I raised you better than that...or at least I tried, all by myself with no help. A thankless job with a thankless daughter…”

“The guilt trip is not going to work this time,” Seraphina replied. “Is that why you decided to speak to me?”

“Can’t a mother just want to visit with her daughter?”

“That’s not what you want, is it?” Seraphina asked. 

“Sounds like you're still seeing the future, good…”

Seraphina rolled her eyes. “I knew it! What do you actually want?”

“I’m here to tell you to come home.”

“What?” Seraphina asked. 

“I’m telling you to leave that show and get back here.”

“Why would I do that?” Seraphina asked. 

“Since you’ve been on this show I’ve been getting tons of calls,” Seraphina’s mom replied. “People want you to do give them readings, talk to their relatives...I’ve got at least a two months booked for you. Don’t you get it, you don’t need this show anymore! We can make millions all on our own!”

Seraphina gritted her teeth. “For the last time, I don’t do readings anymore! I’m not here to advertise, and I’m not going to exploit people.” 

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” her mother replied. “I’m the one in charge, not you. Can’t you think of others for once Seraphina...like me! We need the money!”

“Maybe you could try getting a real job,” Seraphina said. “You could try to stop profiting off me!”

“I knew you’d let me down Seraphina,” her mother replied. “You always did, and now you have the chance to make up for...and you still want to hurt your poor mother.” 

Seraphina glared. “I’m sorry...what was that? I, I, I can’t hear you...I think I’m going through a tunnel…”

“I can see you! This isn’t a ph-”

Seraphina slammed the laptop closed. 


She sighed and stepped out of the confessional to see Lita and Ness waiting.

“That bad sweetie?” Lita asked. 

“It was my mother,” Seraphina groaned.

“That bad,” Ness said. 

“She is the worst kind of person,” Seraphina stated. 

“What did she want?” Lita asked. 

“For me to leave,” Seraphina explained. “So she can charge for readings...these psychic powers are nothing but trouble…”

“That’s not true,” Lita replied. “They’re a part of you sweetie.”

“A sad, twisted part,” Seraphina replied. 

“Come on,” Ness said. “I think we all need some rest. Then we can get ice cream for breakfast tomorrow.”

Seraphina smiled. “Sounds like a plan.”


In the early hours of the morning, as Rhonda stated, Melissa received her chocolate basket at her door. Peeping out to make sure no one was watching, the sweetheart grabbed it and snuck off to the confessional. 


Melissa rummaged through the basket, filled with chocolate treats, from white chocolate hearts to milk chocolate cups. From the center she pulled out a chocolate woodchuck sculpture. She raised an eyebrow as she bit into its head, before spitting out a piece of gold paper. 

“Congratulations Melissa,” she read, “you are the recipient of a golden immunity flash drive, hidden inside this woodchuck head. This flash drive can used be in the voting booth before votes to secretly nullify any votes at any ceremony, unless exceptions are noted.”

Tearing off the chocolate woodchuck head, she dropped the flash drive on her lap. “Hmm...well, Vance knows I have this obviously, but I don’t know if anyone had a similar option on their list like I did...still, I need to find a chance to talk to Vance alone and thank him for this flash drive.”

She bit into the chocolate woodchuck’s neck. “And this delicious chocolate! Ooh nugget!”


The day went on as normal, with the newcomers enjoying their leisure with no challenge. The next day was different however. In the mid-morning Rhonda announced that there would be a challenge today. When questioned again why the challenges weren’t scheduled every three days, Rhonda replied there was surprise in store for them, but it would be for another time.

She lead the teams to the cafeteria, to have breakfast before they started. 

“I decided to make a pancake breakfast for you all,” Rhonda stated. “Something special for the extra special challenge we have, and the extra special reward the winners receive. So please enjoy, but not too many…”

The Fizzled Fireworks began feasting at their table. 

“You dudes think Rhonda’s words confirmed we’re having a gross food eating challenge today?” Riley asked. “You know, ‘but not too many’ or whatever.”

“Maybe,” Griswold replied. “But it won’t be the main one I think, since we did one earlier. I want to know what the reward is...and why she keeps scheduling them. With how much she worries about production you think she wouldn’t have this issue...unless something’s changed…”

“I want to know what Rhonda’s deal is,” Ignacio said. 

“You still going on about how she got to host this show?” Griswold asked. “It was probably just cheap labor.”

“Maybe,” Ignacio replied, not at all convinced. 

“I’m curious when that marge is,” Lita stayed, stuffing away pancakes. 

“You mean the merge?” Seraphina asked. 

“Yeah,” Lita replied. “That…”

“I’m worrying about that too,” Ness admitted. 

“May I inquire what’s stressing you about it Ness?” Ignacio asked. 

Ness sighed. “The teams are even now, but whichever team goes into the merge with more players will likely…”

“...pick the others off,” Riley finished. 

“So if we lose the next few challenges, like we have,” Seraphina said. “We’ve basically lost.”

The Fireworks were silent for a moment.

“We’ll just have to win all the remaining challenges,” Seraphina said. “I mean, if anyone can do it, it is us right?” 

Griswold smiled. “Exactly Seraphina! We’re going to kill it today!”

Ness snapped her fingers. "We should have some kind of cheer or something. You know, for our team!"

"That's an awesome idea Ness," Griswold replied. "Any ideas?"

Ness blushed. "I don't know... maybe something like, it ain't going to work unless its the Fizzled Fireworks?"

The other Fireworks shrugged. "We'll workshop that."

“How many challenges do you think till the merge?” Seraphina asked. 

“The original merged around ten,” Ness recalled. “So maybe two?”

“You’re wearing your lucky jockstrap right Gris?” Seraphina teased. 

Griswold winked. “Of course.”

“Then we can’t lose,” Seraphina chuckled. 

“Lucky jock strap?” Ignacio whispered to Ness, who shrugged. 

Riley yawned. “I just hope I stay awake for it.”

“Same,” Serphina sighed. “Suddenly I’m so sle-”


“Ugh my head…”

Seraphina groaned as regained consciousness. Standing up, she frowned as she looked around; the ceilings matched those of the underground torture chambers, yet walls were erected around her. The walls were made from random materials; melded scrap metal, taped plastic, cardboard and other trash. 

“Wakey wakey everyone! It's time for your challenge…”

Slowly the other newcomers came to, finding themselves separated and surrounded by walls. 

Riley scratched her head, kicking sand dunes that were over the ground. “I take it we’re not at the beach…bummer.”

“Sorry for the nap everybody,” Rhonda announced over the P.A., “but it was necessary.” 

“Was it?” Xidorn asked, likewise surrounded by sand dunes. “Really? Hmm...I’m guessing this is Toby’s work.”

“As you can see,” Rhonda said, “We’ve converted the torture chamber into...The Amazing Maze! Today’s challenge is simple, the first team to leave the maze wins.”

Kalino strolled along through a forest of tall trees. “So we just have to leaf this place as fast as we can haha…”

“I’m sure you’re wondering why we call it the Amazing Maze,” Rhonda said.

“Not really,” Seraphina replied. 

“I’ll show you,” Rhonda replied. In her secret office, Rhonda pressed a button. The maze began to shake as the newcomers tried to get steady. The walls moved and turned, Seraphina almost falling over as they blocked off her path. Kalino gasped as the trees sank into the ground. 

Riley struggled to stand as the sand seem to sift through the ground; the floor panels shifted and we’re suddenly ice. The bro slipped and facepalmed the ground. 

"With Toby’s tech and the trap doors of this hotel, we’re able to change your surroundings drastically,” Rhonda announced. “If you’re curious how...just don’t ask. Seriously, don’t poke holes in this maze…”

Somewhere in the maze a swimming pool was shown, where a key dangled from a buoy. 

“To leave the maze you’ll need to find a key,” Rhonda said. “A single key is hidden in each section of the maze, you’ll have to find and retrieve it before the area changes and the key is hidden again. You might have to overcome an obstacle…”

A shark fin rose above the water, circling the buoy.

“...Or complete a task that will reward you the key…”

The maze shifted again; the swimming pool became covered as two tables appeared in its place. Sitting on the tables were bags of puzzle pieces. A key dangled in birdcage that was tied to both tables. 

“Once you have a key, you’ll have to find a gate corresponding to your team.”

A red gate was shown, bearing the emblem of the Fizzled Fireworks. A comically oversized and rusty lock was on it. 

“But you’ll have to find it first. Every time a key is used, and every thirty minutes, the maze will shift and change the location of everything!”

“Oh, that’s all,” Seraphina sighed. 

“But that’s not all…”

The psychic facepalmed. 

“For this challenge we really want to see how strong your teams are. So this challenge will test how much you contribute individually to your team, and how well you work together. This maze has three stages. The first stage is on your own. In the second stage, you’ll meet and work with a teammate to secure a key. So if you’re taking your sweet time, you’ll be holding back your team.”

Ness gulped as she listened, peering over the edge of a big pit in front of her.

“The third and final stage will require all six of your team members be present,” Rhonda continued. “Together you’ll lower a drawbridge and reach the finish line. Oh...and one more thing...there’s only one key at a time in each of your area’s...but a member from the opposing team is in the same section of maze as you are. So you’ll have to beat them to the key.”

“That explains this,” Griswold stated, tapping a blue Molting Eagles gate in front of him. 

Rhonda cleared her throat. “TL;DR: The maze moves, find a key before the other team, find the gate, work with a fellow team member to do it again, meet your whole team and cross the finish line together.”

“Is that all?” Seraphina asked. 

“And one last thing,” Rhonda continued. 

Seraphina shook her head. “Rhonda can never keep it short.”

“Like I said, the winners of today’s challenge will receive an extra special reward!” Rhonda announced. “With that, let the challenge begin!”


Griswold jogged through the maze, his eyes scanning every corner. “We gotta win this challenge...I can’t let my team down...not after they made me leader.”

Griswold halted to stop as he turned the corner. In front of him was a waiter holding out a silver tray. “Bonjour Monsieur Griswold.”

“Sup waiter dude,” Griswold replied. “I’m guessing you got a key.”

The waiter lifted the silver tray, revealing a bowl of guts, flies swarming around them. “I will give you a key, if you eat an entire bowl of eel guts.”

“Looks like Rye was right about gross food eating,” Griswold chuckled. He lifted the whole bowl and dumped it down his throat, swallowing the eel guts whole.


“After that soup Lita made last challenge,” Griswold explained, “eel guts sounded like a delicacy.”


The waiter bowed, closing the tray and revealing a key from his sleeve, which was immediately snatched...but not by Griswold.

“Thanks for the help Gris-man,” Kalino shouted, running away. “I appreciate it.” 


“That wasn’t the smartest idea in hindsight,” Kalino admitted.


“Aaaaaahhhh!” 

Kalino looked up as Griswold jumped on top of the slacker, tackling from the ground. He pulled back his wrist and grabbed the key. “You want a key? You have to earn it.”

“Can’t blame a dude for trying right?” Kalino asked. 

Griswold picked up Kalino by shirt collar and began spinning in circles, before high tossing into a corner. The jock smiled a little, placing the key in his pompadour, and jogging off. 


“If I have any power in deciding,” Griswold explained, “the first person I want to vote off at the merge is Kalino! I guess the rules allow him to play dirty...but something about that guy just rubs me the wrong way. He’s not to be trusted, and I’ll make sure everyone knows that…”



Over in a different section of the maze, Riley was skating on the ice floors. She gasped, dropping to the floor; a key was frozen in the water below her.

“Found you little key dude,” Riley laughed. “Now I just have to figure out how to get you out of the ice and-”

Suddenly the maze began to shift again. Riley jumped up as the floor began to sink...only to run straight into a tree. More trees began to rise from the ground as the ice floor disappeared. 

“Of course,” Riley sighed. 


In another part of the maze, Vance was struggling. A sour looking intern spun three coconut halves or shells in place on a table before the cowboy. Vance groomed his mustache in thought, before selecting a coconut shell.

The intern flipped up the shell, revealing nothing. She flipped the one on the end, revealing the key. 

“You’re lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut!” Vance yelled. 

The intern began spinning the shells again. “For the last time, I’m not cheating. I don’t get paid enough to try that.”

“Then why do I keep losing?” the cowboy asked.

“Do you ever think it could be you?” the intern asked. “Or you know...think?”

“Its modern times,” Vance stated. “We have computers for thinkin’. I’m a man of action.”

“Have it your way,” the intern replied. “Pick a shell.”

Vance twirled the end of his mustache, moving his finger back and forth over the shells.

“Eenie menie minie moe?”

“Shush! That one, the middle one.”

The intern sighed and lifted the shell. There was no key.

“Errrrr!” Vance growled, biting the top of his hat.

“What do you plan to do now, man of action?” the intern asked. “Huh? Huh? Hu-”

Vance punched the intern in the face. He flipped the table and grabbed the key off the ground.

Vance tipped his hat. “Pleasure doing business with you.”


Meanwhile, Riley had found a key, hanging from the highest branch of the tallest and widest tree in the sudden forest. She had climbed up towards the top and reached for the key...only to touch hands with someone else.

“Xidorn?” Riley asked. 

“Riley?” Xidorn returned. 

“Small world man,” Riley laughed. “I hate to be a bother, but would you mind letting go of the key? I already got to it.”

“Actually I believe I got here first,” Xidorn replied. “Not to be rude, but could you please let go of the key.”

The two stared at each other for a moment, before pulling at the key. 

“Just because you’re always honest, doesn’t mean you’re always right,” Riley stated. 

“I agree,” Xidorn said. “But I am right here! I’m not letting you go with the key. So go skate somewhere else and find another one.” 

Suddenly, the tree started shaking, before starting to retreat back into the ground. Xidorn’s eyes grew wide as Riley gulped, but the two shared a look and refused to move. Tugging at the key again, they pulled, until they fell back. The tree descended back into the ground, the key flying into the air before falling back into the ground. The two teens landed on top of each other.

“Temporary truce,” Xidorn moaned. 

“Sounds groovy,” Riley groaned. “Let’s go our separate ways.” 


A montage played in the final episode, dealing some of the others finding keys. Ness shot her’s down from a series of balloons, while Lita wrestled a gator for her key.

Seraphina pickpocketed Vance' from some bushes, while the cowboy was too distracted screaming and running. Cynthia found her key hanging from a bat’s cave. Ignacio managed to solve a puzzle to be rewarded with a key, while Weston found his digging from sand dunes.

The montage ended with Melissa bobbing her key out out a water bucket. 

Now, the sweetheart sat outside of a blue gate, yawning. She sprung to her feet as she heard panting. Vance ran up to the gate, unlocking it. 

“Ooh dear,” Melissa gasped. “Your face is all scratched up, what happened?”

“Get back here!”

The intern from earlier, now sporting a black eye hissed as she ran towards the cowboy. She tried to claw at him from outside the gate. 

“She’s meaner than a wet panther,” Vance whispered. 

“You southern sack of-”

Melissa grabbed Vance by the arm and pulled him away. “I think we’ll just take our leave and uh...let you cool down. Have a nice day!” 

Vance sighed in relief. “Sorry I took so long, that banshee was stalking me for...some reason. You know I hate to keep a lady waiting.”

Suddenly, the maze shook and shifted again; haystacks appeared in front of the teens. 

Melissa clapped. “One of the keys must be in these stacks! This is wondrous! I mean, you told us all how you found needles in haystacks all the time on your ranch.”

“That sure is thing that I remember saying because it's true,” Vance replied.

The two teens hopped into a haystack and began sifting through the straw.

“Hey Vance,” Melissa said. “I...I never got the chance to thank you for my reward.”

“Ooh yeah,” Vance laughed. “Your ‘chocolates’, right?”

“I have to ask...why? Why give me the flash drive? I was...am upset with you and the other Eagles for keeping me in the dark. It's very risky.”

Vance blushed. “Well, you didn’t trust us...so now you have a reason to. Trust me at least. I’m not planning on voting you out, and if you’re worried I am you can use that to save yourself. I’m putting my trust in you that you won’t use it against me.” 

“Wow Vance,” Melissa gasped. “That’s really sweet. You’re a very generous man, you know that?”

“I’ve been told that several times,” Vance admitted. “Its one of my best features, like my amazing abs or my humbleness.”

“I super duper, extra pinky promise I won’t use it against you,” Melissa replied. “But I would like it if we kept it a secret from the other Eagles for now.”

“No problem,” Vance replied. “Trust me, I don’t think the other Eagles will be targeting you. Kalino said we’d pick off the Fireworks first.”

Melissa paused and raised an eyebrow. “Kalino said that?”

“Oh yeah,” Vance replied. “He usually knows what’s best, where the votes should go.”

“Well hopefully he’ll let me know the next vote…”


“Has Kalino been deciding the votes all this time?” Melissa asked. “I mean he and Hayden had that fight before the challenge...then Hayden went home. He was the one who told us Frannie was homesick...did he send home Aiden too? I think I need to keep an eye on Kalino... I mean if that’s okay with him.”


“I do have one thing to ask of you Melissa,” Vance stated. 

“Don’t worry Vance,” Melissa replied, “if you’re in trouble I’ll use the immunity flashdrive for you!”

“Oh,” Vance said. “I was just going to ask if you’d share some of that chocolate with me.”

Melissa giggled. “After we win this challenge, I’ll bake you make my signature triple chocolate chimp cake!”

“Sweet doggies!” Vance cheered. “Uh, is it made with real chimps?”


In another section of the maze, Ignacio and Griswold weere searching under rocks for another key. 

“Nothing under here,” Griswold announced, flipping another large stone.

“Likewise,” Ignacio replied. “Hey Griswold...can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” Griswold replied, throwing a boulder away.

Ignacio blushed. “I’m a bit embarrassed, but since the two of us are here alone…”

“Oh my god, Grisnacio is happening,” Griswold whispered. 

Ignacio raised an eyebrow. “What did you say?”

“Uhh...I said you can talk to me dude. This rock quarry…”

The maze shifted, the rocks disappeared, and the floor became an icy lake. 

“...this frozen lake is a judgement free zone,” Griswold replied. 

“Well...how do you know when you like someone?” Ignacio asked.

Griswold raised an eyebrow. “Is there somebody you’re crushing on Iggy?”

Ignacio blushed. “Uhh...there might be a girl, but I don’t know.”


“So Ignacio wasn’t attracted to me,” Griswold replied. “I’m kind of relieved I don’t have to reject him...but kind of disappointed he wasn’t into me...is that weird?”


“What don’t you know?” Griswold asked. 

“I mean I’ve liked a girl before,” Ignacio admitted. “I still have lingering feelings for my ex-girlfriend Carla ...even if she falsely accused me of cheating...in public...at a busy mall...at the top of her lungs. But that’s what's confusing about how I feel now. I’m trying to be more honest with my feelings and attractions...but I’m not sure.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t know if I’m the right guy to help you,” Griswold admitted. “Me and Lita didn’t exactly pan out, and she’s been the only girl I’ve dated.”

“I’m still not sure I comprehend why you two split,” Ignacio admitted. 

“We were into each other, but discovered there wasn’t more than that,” Griswold explained. “That’s all. You should ask Riley, she’s great with relationship stuff.”

Ignacio blushed. “I was embarrassed to ask Riley actually…”

Griswold gasped. “Oh my gosh, you like Riley? Well, well...you sly dog Ignacio. I had no idea!”

“No, no, no,” Ignacio replied. “I mean Riley is hot, I mean not like that, I mean she is...what I actually mean is that Riley’s nice, I just know she’ll tease me about it. I’d rather not say the girl I’m confused about…I mean she might not even be on the show.”

Griswold raised an eyebrow. “Uh, if you say so. But don’t worry, I won’t say anything. You figure out you Iggy.”

“What about you Gris?” Ignacio asked. “Anyone you’re interested in?”

“After Lita and I, I’m taking a long break from dating,” Griswold replied. “Not to mention I can’t even talk to girls. I just wish there was one I was comfortable to talk with. But who would that be?”


“Riley!”

Seraphina called out as she flagged down the bro, looking around the maze. 

“Nice to see you Seraphina Silverman,” Riley replied as the psychic ran over. “And not too soon either, I found where the key is!”

“Then lead the way,” Seraphina cheered. 

The two raced down a corridor. 

“What do your psychic powers say about our chances at the merge?” Riley asked. 

“I haven’t bothered to try and use them,” Seraphina replied. 

“Aww, why not?” Riley asked. “I think your psychic powers are cool.”

“That makes one of us,” Seraphina sighed. 

Riley stopped. “Alright, tell me what’s going on.”

“Nothing-”

“I wasn’t born yesterday,” Riley interrupted. “I was born seventeen years and some days ago. Now, what’s wrong?”

Seraphina sighed. “I video chatted with my mother yesterday. A real nice woman...in comparison to Medusa. I only wanted to use my powers to help people, but I couldn’t control them, and she just wants to use them for profit. Being here supported by Ness, Lita, Xidorn, everyone else...I almost felt…”

“Yeah?” Riley asked.

“I almost felt glad to have them again,” Seraphina admitted. “Then I talk to her.”

“Seraphina its obvious you still enjoy being a psychic,” Riley replied. “I mean, you still carry tarot cards with you!”

“Not all the time,” Seraphina replied. 

“Are you carrying them now?” Riley asked. 

Seraphina blushed. “Okay, your point was made.”

“The way I see it,” Riley continued, “deep down you want to be a psychic, and your powers are part of you. So forget your mom! Forgot those people who call you fake or reject you for having freaky awesome powers! They don’t matter; what you want matters. You have a gift, and I think you should totally open yourself up to them.” 

“Wow,” Seraphina said. “That helps a lot Riley. You have the gift of saying the right thing.”

Riley pulled Seraphina into a hug. “I try. Now let’s go win this thing. The key should-”

The ground started to shake as the maze shifted again. A wall appeared before the two Fireworks, blocking their way. 

“-Nevermind.”

Seraphina sighed, and sat down on the ground. Assuming a lotus like position, she mumbled words under her breath and closed her eyes. 

“Uh Seraphina Silvermann-”

“I see the key,” Seraphina stated. “Its two lefts and right.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Riley cheered. “Let’s go!”

“Wait, it's tied to a buoy in a pool and guarded by a shark.”

Seraphina opened her eyes. “We need a plan.”

Seraphina looked down to realize Riley was carrying you her on her shoulders. “The plan is I’ll get the key from the shark. I’ve been wanting to use my wrestling moves since the first challenge!”

Riley dropped Seraphina off her shoulders as she cannonballed into the pool. She surfaced...right next to a smiling shark.

“S’up Jabberjaw,” Riley greeted. “Hey...is that hot mermaid’s shell bra falling off because it's a horribly impractical design?”

The shark turned its head, only to see Seraphina. “Sorry, I gave up my sea legs for the surface world. Better food up here.”

“Let’s do this!” Riley shouted. She grabbed the shark by the fin and began punching him. “You punch it in the snout to establish dominance!” 

The shark tried but failed to shake her off as she continued to punch it. Not even diving up and down could lose her. The shark swam forward, crashing right into the buoy. It chipped its tooth, which shattered into pieces, before sinking to the bottom of the pool. 

Riley grabbed the key and tossed it to Seraphina. “And that’s how you wrestle a shark! Now let’s win this thing.”

The two ran off, cheering and hollering. 

“Oh just so you know,” Riley said, “I almost beat up your boyfriend earlier.”

Seraphina raised an eyebrow, then laughed. “Be careful, I want to beat him and the Eagles, but I still want to date him.”


Xidorn found himself racing through the maze. “I have to say this is rather impressive. How does Toby manage to make these things out of garbage?”

Studying the walls, Xidorn unknowingly ran into Kalino. 

“Looks like I found you mannnnn,” Kalino stated. 

“Looks like it,” Xidorn laughed. “When did you get here?”

“Just now,” Kalino admitted. “You?”

“I’ve lost track of time,” Xidorn admitted. “This maze keeps…”

The maze shifted again. 

“...shifting.”

“It's no sweat man,” Kalino replied. “We can take our time. We’ll get out of here.”

The maze shifted again. 

“Eventually.”

The two Eagles began walking through a newly formed cornfield. 

“So you and Seraphina are officially good?” Kalino asked. 

Xidorn nodded. “All thanks to you.”

“Don’t give me any credit,” Kalino replied. “You did the work.”

“You just gave an ear for me to listen to,” Xidorn replied. “I won’t forget it Kalino. You’re like a guru.”

“I can see that,” Kalino laughed. “I consider myself a pillowsophical man. Do you mind if you give me an ear for a second.”

Xidorn nodded. 

“So the merge is coming up in a few challenges, right?” Kalino asked. 

“That’s what everyone seems to be thinking,” Xidorn replied. “And the logic holds up looking at past seasons.”

“What are your plans come the merge?” Kalino asked. 

“To be honest I’m going to do what I’ve been doing,” Xidorn admitted. “Do my best at challenges, vote who I think is best to go home, and be honest about it.”

“Righteous,” Kalino replied. “So who does that mean voting off? Like the Fireworks?”

“If that’s what seems best,” Xidorn stated. “I’m not going to suddenly be a turncoat if that's what you mean. But if I don’t think someone should go, then I won’t vote for them. And if I think someone should go home, for being a threat, an opposing number, or just a bad hombre, then I will.”

“Noted,” Kalino replied. 

“Don’t worry though Kalino,” Xidorn replied. “I don’t plan on voting you out; I trust you.”

“Right back at ya,” Kalino replied. 


“I’m not sweating the merge,” Kalino stated. “Mostly cause I don’t like to sweat. Except in saunas or Japanese bath houses. While there are a couple Eagles I’m worried about, I think I can convince any of them to vote with me. Xidorn is a bit tricky; he’s headstrong and might spill a blindside like a glass of milk, but he isn’t voting for me, so why not keep him?”



In another section of the maze, a greased pig ran across a muddy field. Chasing after it were Lita and Ness. The knockout jumped, but missed the pig. Ness tripped over her fallen friend, sending her sliding into the mud and right into the pig. She caught the critter, then grabbed the key off its neck. The pig snorted, kicking Ness in the face with its hind legs before running off.

“You alright sugar?” Lita asked.

“I’m fine,” Ness replied. “Especially, because I have the key!”

“Woot woot!” Lita cheered, the snorted. “Now we just have to find the gate...and maybe a shower.” 

Ness giggled and followed her friend. “We’re kicking butt today.”

“You can say that again,” Lita laughed. “I’m glad you’re feeling good Ness, especially after everything that happened.”

“I’m trying to be in good spirits,” Ness admitted. “I’m still confused how I stayed.”

“Well Ignacio flipped-”

“I know that,” Ness replied. “But I won a coin toss? Doesn’t that sound a little too...lucky for me?”

Lita smiled. “I think your luck is changing honey.”

Ness smiled as the maze shifted; the two fell into a pool of water. “Hey a bath...kind of. Guess that was lucky too.” 

The girls laughed, not noticing the shark fin swimming nearby...


At the same time, Weston tip-toed through the maze, peeking around corners. He froze, feeling something was off...like he could feel breathing on his neck, as if someone was watching him…

Weston smiled and turned around. “Cynthia?”

The strange girl waved. 

“I thought I felt your presence,” Weston laughed and hugging his girlfriend. 

The maze shifted again.

Weston pouted. “Guess we better start over looking for the key. I should have found it already…”

“Why?” Cynthia asked. 

Weston looked down. “I don’t know…if I was more useful to this team, we’d have it! That’s what this challenge is about, right? How much you contribute...what if I’m just dead weight?”

“Does this have something to do with your brother?” Cynthia asked. 

“No...maybe,” Weston admitted. “I don’t miss him or anything. I just...I wanted to be the one to send home. To defeat him in challenge. Sure I’ve lasted longer, but I never bested him myself. That still makes him the superior twin.”

“Easton didn’t have what it takes to survive elimination to this point,” Cynthia stated. “You have.”

“I guess,” Weston replied. 

Cynthia grabbed Weston by the shirt collar, and kissed him. “I don’t care what, you’re my favorite twin.”

Weston giggled. “Hehehe…”

Sssssssss….

Weston and Cynthia turned to see a giant snake slithering behind them.

“Look Cynthia!” Weston exclaimed. “In its throat there’s a lump! Its shaped like a key! It must have swallowed it! If we can make it spit up then-”

Kkkkkkk.

Cynthia placed her knife back in her pocket, then dug her hands through the snake’s headless corpse and pulled out the key.

“Or that too,” Weston stated. 


The teams raced towards the exit.

Griswold and Ignacio arrived first; there were two drawbridges to the left and right at the end, each colored blue or red and sporting the team emblem. 

Griswold ran to the left gate, were a red rope hung from the wall. “This must be it! Alright Iggy, let’s get pulling!”

At the same time, Melissa and Vance arrived. Seeing the two Fireworks they raced to their own rope and began making quick work. 

“Sorry Fireworks,” Vance teased. "But you’re going to elimination tonight! You’ve been there so many times already, we’d just feel bad if we took it from ya.”

“Its not over...till it's over,” Griswold stated, working faster. 

Cynthia and Easton came next, joining in the scene. Kalino and Xidorn came next. 

“How about now?” Vance asked. “Is it over now?” 

Griswold grunted, trying not to look at the Molting Eagles descending drawbridge. 

“It isn't over yet! After all, you still haven’t lost.”

Seraphina came running in, grabbing the rope from behind Ignacio. Riley ran up behind her and helped. 

Lita dashed in. “It ain’t going to work…”

“...unless it's the Fizzled Fireworks!” Ness cheered, as both girls joined in. 

“I think you’re a little too late,” Vance teased, their bridge still having a lead. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Griswold stated. “We’ve had it rough these past few challenges, but that’s only made us stronger! When we started out, we got by on dumb luck. But not today! Today we’re a well oiled machine, we’re closer and stronger together! I believe in each and everyone of you, and you believe in me. So let’s win this thing! It ain’t going to work…”

“...unless it's the Fizzled Fireworks!” the entire team cheered. 

The Fireworks began pulling in synch, using all their strength, chanting their new cheer as they started taking the lead.

“They’re beating us!” Vance cried. 

“Then pull,” Cynthia stated. 

“Don’t let go,” Kalino cried. 

“I’m trying but I’m slipping!” Weston cried. 

“Could someone please get off my foot,” Xidorn groaned. 

“And can someone get their elbow out of my ribcage, pretty please?” Melissa begged. 

“Could someone get their ribcage out of my elbow,” Vance whined. 

“Don’t...let…”

The rope slipped from the Molting Eagles’ hands, their drawbridge ascending back up. The whole team fell in a pile on top of each other.

“Guess that means we lost after all,” Weston sighed. 

Kalino grunted. “No. I have a plan, follow my lead.”

“We did it!” Griswold cheered. “Our drawbridge is down first.”

“And we sure do appreciate it!” Kalino replied. 

He ran forward, pushing the Fireworks aside as the Eagles did the same and raced across the Fireworks’ drawbridge. 

“They’re getting to the finish line!” Seraphina cried. 

“We have to stop them!” Griswold yelled. 


The Fizzled Fireworks chased after them, but it was too late. The Molting Eagles had already reached the finish line. 

“We have a winner!” Rhonda congratulated. “The Molting Eagles.”

Ness was red in the face, in anger and out of breath. “That’s no fair! They didn’t even lower their own drawbridge!”

“Rhonda didn’t say we had to use our own drawbridge,” Kalino defended, “just get your whole team to exit the maze first. We did, you just helped us out. Thanks!”

Griswold glared. “This challenge was supposed to be testing teamwork! If anything, we proved we were the better team!”

“You passed the test,” Kalino admitted. “But you didn’t win the challenge. Sometimes the best team is just the quickest thinker.”

“I’m afraid I have to concede with the Eagles,” Rhonda said. “They’re the winners of our challenge! Which means that once again, the Fizzled Fireworks will be losing someone.”

Melissa shook her head. “This doesn’t feel right.”

“Melissa, we won,” Vance stated.

“It doesn’t seem fair the Fireworks have to vote off one of their own,” Melissa admitted. 

“Well,” Rhonda said, “that’s not entirely true Melissa..”

Everyone turned to look at the hostess. 

“Remember that extra special reward I referenced?” Rhonda asked. 

“Oh no,” Seraphina stated. 

Rhonda winked. “For winning today’s challenge, the Molting Eagles will vote off one of the Fizzled Fireworks!”

The Fizzled Fireworks went silent, just staring forward. 

“I mean you had the same reward after the first challenge,” Rhonda teased. “How does it feel when the shoe’s on the other foot?”

The Fireworks only glared at the hostess. 

“I’m afraid unless the Eagles want you to vote off one of their own,” Rhonda stated, “then its final. Eagles?”

The Eagles shook their heads, even Xidorn and Melissa reluctantly. 

“I’ll give you till tonight to decide who its going to be,” Rhonda said. “I’ll see both teams at elimination.”

The Fizzled Fireworks looked at one another.

“No matter what happens tonight,” Griswold stated. “I’m proud of this team, everyone knows we killed it today. I appreciate you guys electing me leader, and I love you guys.”

Seraphina sighed and gave Griswold a hug. “We did good Gris, really good.”

The rest of the Fireworks joined in, making a group hug. 

After a moment, Ness asked, “What’s going to happen?”

“We’re going to be fine,” Seraphina stated. “I can see it...we’re going to be fine.”


Xidorn sighed. “I hate this. When the Fireworks won I was against it, and I’m not proud of how we ‘won’ today. I know all of us were furious when this happened...and we lost Bethany. I know everyone probably doesn’t even remember her, but I do. We all came together and agreed who we had to vote off…”



Both teams gathered into the Haunted Internet Cafe. The Eagles stared at the Fireworks, who avoided or didn’t bother to match their gaze. 

“You’re awfully quiet Fireworks?” Rhonda asked. 

“Just accepting that everything sucks,” Riley replied. 

“The Eagles have voted,” Rhonda stated. “Any ideas on who's going home?”

The Fireworks looked at each other briefly. 

“Well let’s not avoid the inevitable,” Rhonda stated. “Tonight you’ll be having an almond blend in your cup of coffee, except for one of you. I have five cups, and the Eagles have unanimously chosen one of you to leave through the Revolving Doors of Shame and board the Public Transportation of Losers. Without further ado, The first cup of coffee goes to…

...Ignacio."

"Ness."

"Riley.” 

The three caught their cups. 

“Tonight, the Molting Eagles have decided that…









































































“...Seraphina is going home. Griswold, Lita, the final coffee cups are you.” 

The two didn’t bother going to get their coffee, turning to their now former teammate. 

Seraphina sighed, grabbing her stuff. “Whelp, that’s that.” 

“What?” Ness asked. “Why? Why Seraphina? That can’t be right?”

“Are you saying Xidorn voted for his own girlfriend?” Lita exclaimed. “How could you, any of you?”

“Relax,” Seraphina said. “It's okay; I asked them if they would vote me.”

Riley gasped. “But Seraphina Silverman-”

“-It's alright,” Seraphina said. 

“We thought it was unfair when you were able to vote off one of our own,” Melissa stated.

"We said we wished you asked us who to vote off," Xidorn said. "To make it fair. We decided to do that. Seraphina came to and us asked to vote for her, and we felt if it's what she wanted, we would.”

Ness had already started crying. “But why would you ask that Seraphina? We’re so close to the merge!”

“That’s exactly why,” Seraphina said. “Because all of you deserve to be here; Gris, Lita, Ness, Riley, Iggy you all should go to the merge. I'll admit... when the teams were first formed, I thought we wouldn’t get along...but you’ve all been there for me throughout this game. You’re some of the kindest, most supportive, most amazing people ever. I’ve never had any friends before, but I’m proud and happy to call all of you my teammates and my friends."

The Fireworks immediately got up and joined in another group hug. 

Seraphina walked forward, stopping at Xidorn. “Thank you for doing this.”

“I think it's really sweet you did this,” Xidorn admitted. “But part of me wishes you hadn’t.”

Seraphina giggled. “I understand, but I’m going to see you after this. We’re going to see a lot of movies. Got it?”

Xidorn nodded, pulling her in for a kiss. 

Seraphina reached the Revolving Doors, waved goodbye and exited. 

She sighed, but was immediately glomped as Ness and Lita ran out after her. 

“Don’t think you can leave without giving us another hug goodbye,” Lita replied. 

“We’re going to wear our friendship bracelets everyday,” Ness cried. “Its...its not going to be the same without you.”

Seraphina cried. “You guys are my best friends, you know that? You believed in me and were always there for me. I’m going to miss you, but I wasn’t going to let you leave today either. Roomies forever.”

The Public Transportation of Losers pulled in and opened its door.

“That's my ride,” Seraphina stated. “But before I go, take this."

Seraphina placed the blue immunity flash drive in Ness' hands. "But Seraphina!"

"I can't use it anymore," Seraphina teased. "But you two might need it. Now just cause I’ve left doesn’t mean give up. Both of you can win this thing!”

The girls nodded and waved as Seraphina took her seat and the bus departed.

“Well,” the bus driver said, “sucks to be gone huh?”

“I guess,” Seraphina replied, wiping her nose on her shawl. “But I think I got something out of this experience.”

“What’s that?” the driver asked.

Seraphina just smiled to herself.


Lita and Ness came back into the Internet Café, noticing the others still sitting. Toby and Jenny motioned them to join their teammates. 

“I know that today has been a rough day,” Rhonda admitted. “It's been over a month since you got here and you’ve fought hard. I just wanted to take a moment and formally congratulate you all.”

Weston raised an eyebrow. “Congratulate us?”

Rhonda nodded. “Yes. Congratulations everyone; you’ve made the merge.”

Chapter 14 Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?[]

“Congratulations everyone; you’ve made the merge.”

There were a few quiet gasps, but most everyone responded in silence. 

“Its an individual game now,” Rhonda stated. “Which means that you can put a fork in The Molting Eagles and The Fizzled Fireworks, because they are done! Tomorrow night I’ll give more details...and a surprise. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

Rhonda walked away, smiling to herself. Toby and Jenny followed suit.

Everyone shared a look with each other.

Kalino yawned. “This...has been day. I think I need to sleep on this. In any case, congraritos everybody on making the merge.”

The others shrugged, and soon made their way to bed.


“I’m grateful to have made the merge,” Ignacio said, "but my team...or I guess former team, know that we are outnumbered. If all the Eagles vote together, we’ll be exterminated. Rhonda saying she has a surprise didn’t help; we still have a bad taste in our mouth from all her others.”


The next morning, Vance entered the dining hall, sniffing the air.

“Yeehaw!”

His eyes lit up as he ran to the lunch line, tripping and falling in the trash can. Tossing aside a banana peel on his mustache, he smiled as he saw Melissa put heart-shaped pancakes out. 

“I thought I smelled your cooking,” Vance cheered. “You decided to take up the spoon again?”

Melissa giggled and nodded. “I thought we should celebrate making the merge...and this might help us move on from last night. In addition, I had to make my favorite cowboy a special treat…”

Melissa pulled out a three-tier chocolate cake in the shape of a chimpanzee. “My triple chocolate chimp cake, as promised. The first layer is dark chocolate, the second is white chocolate and the third is milk chocolate, complete with peanut butter chips and mix of homemade banana icing and chocolate icing that-”

Melissa looked up to see Vance diving face first into the cake, not bothering to use his hands. Melissa giggled, but suddenly frowned. Vance looked up to see Xidorn standing in the doorway; his hair was lavender with the red streaks. 

Melissa quickly made a plate of pancakes. “How are you feeling Xidorn?”

“Is it obvious I miss her?” Xidorn replied, trying to sound like a joke.

“Dying your hair the color of her shirt was a bit of a giveaway,” Melissa admitted. 

“I’m still proud of her for doing that,” Xidorn stated. “I’m not proud of myself for how we won that challenge.”

“I’m not either,” Melissa admitted. 

“They won just as unfairly in the first challenge,” Vance stated. “I say they had a debt to pay.”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right,” Xidorn answered. “We know how much it sucks to lose like that.”

Melissa hugged her former teammate from over the counter. “It’ll get better Xi.”

“I guess you know what it's like to lose someone you love too,” Xidorn replied. “I’m sorry Melissa.”

“What’s done is done,” Melissa said. “We’ll see them again.”

“Does it get better?” 

Melissa nodded. “It's rough, but it’ll get better. You’ve got good friends, that will make it easier. I promise.”

Vance put an arm around Xidorn. “Don’t worry deputy, you can try to make it up to her by winning that two mill...you know, if somehow I don’t win. Tell you what, you can even have some of my cake.”

Xidorn looked at Vance’s plate, where only crumbs remained. “Thanks partner, but I’m not hungry. I’ll wait till lunch.”

“What do you think we’ll have for lunch?” Vance asked. “You making anything Melissa?”

“Actually,” Melissa said, “Mr. Toby told me the dining hall and kitchen would be closed for the rest of the day. We’re to be here at seven tonight, but we’re on our own for lunch.”

Xidorn raised an eyebrow. “That’s weird...any idea why?”

“Mr. Toby said safety inspections,” Melissa replied. “I’m not sure I believe him. I was going to ask more, but he left in a hurry.”

“Now that you mention it,” Xidorn said, “On the way here, I actually say Jenny doing work.”

“I even went to Ms. Rhonda’s secret office,” Melissa stated.

“The one she thinks no one knows about?” Vance asked, licking his plate. 

Melissa nodded. “I wrote a strongly worded letter last night. I wanted to give it to her in person, but I heard her arguing with someone on the phone...something has changed with the network.”

“Well it sounds like,” Vance said, now starting on pancakes, “we’re all free for lunch. Kalino wants all the Eagles to meet up. Go out for pizza. Celebrating the merge and our team one last time.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Xidorn replied. 

“Splendiferous,” Melissa agreed.


“Personally,” Kalino said, “I wanted Seraphina to be the last Firework left. That way she could watch as everyone she cared about went home. But if she’s dumb enough to send herself home for nothing, then I’ll be happy to help her on the way. It's what she gets for eliminating Frannie. She can greet her buddies when we send them to wherever they sequester the losers. Who do you think she’ll be most upset to see; Lita or Ness?”


“It was really sad last night,” Ness admitted. “It just felt so awkward and empty in Lita and I’s room without our roomie there. We spent most of the day moping. But I promise Seraphina, we won’t let the chance you’ve given us be in vain.”


That night, at seven, the newcomers all gathered outside the dining hall. No one wanted to go in first, knowing Rhonda had a ‘surprise’ in store. Cynthia stepped forward first, the others followed...and were shocked at what they saw. 

Xidorn gasped. “Oh. My. God.”

“Noooooo way,” Kalino said.

“This is not possible right?” Lita asked. 

“Did Ms. Rhonda actually do all of this?” Melissa questioned. 

A feast of delicious foods were before them, including some of their favorites; cheese fries, clam chowder, burritos, mac and cheese, pho, baked potatoes, caviar, a ham, empanadas, pancakes, grits, triple cheeseburgers, Doritos Loco tacos, feijoadas, plenty of pastries and more. 

The room had changed as well. Now the dining hall was a lit by an enormous hanging chandelier in the center of the room, decorated with candles. The old seats gone, replaced by a single dining table that extended from one end of the room to the other, right in front of the cafeteria line. Two old-looking chairs were at each head of the table, a row of six seats on the left and right in between them.

Interns dressed in fancy tuxedos were setting and opening silver trays of more food on the table. 

Rhonda stepped out of the kitchen. “What do you think?”

“I think my pants size just increased three sizes today,” Griswold replied. “What is all this?”

“It's your surprise,” Rhonda replied. “To really celebrate making the merge! You’ve all made the halfway point, and should feel extremely proud. I do want to go over a few things about what the merge means, officially, you know? That can wait until after celebrating though. So eat up everyone! I’ll reconvene with you soon...I have a few things I still need to discuss with the higher ups…”

The hostess smiled as she left, but grumbled and cursed when she thought she was out of earshot. “Things were starting to look up, then they pull this crap! What do they even want from me…”

The teens eagerly grabbed their plates and began piling on the food. The intern-waiters brought them drinks, with little umbrellas in each. The contestants pigged out easily, some not even using a fork as they went for the finger foods. 

Lita swooned as she stuffed cheese fries in her face. “Ooooh, this food has never been so good.”

“It was rather nice for Ms. Rhonda to make this surprise,” Melissa stated. “Maybe she still has a heart…”

“You don’t think she drugged this food like she did the sleeping challenge?” Xidorn asked. 

“If she did it's too late for me,” Riley joked, switching between eating two different burritos. 

“Okay, is anyone else surprised to have made the merge?” Weston asked. 

“Yes!” Ness replied, pouring a bowl of clam chowder. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“I always knew I would,” Vance bragged, missing his plate while plopping on grits. “I am pretty amazing.” 

“I just can’t believe it's actually here,” Griswold stated. “I mean it doesn’t feel like it's been a month...more like years yet simultaneously a day.”

“We got to do a lot of awesome stuff to get here,” Riley chuckled. “Just think; solve mazes, fashion shows, snowball fights, stopping alien invasions and racing through Washington.”

“Can someone pass the tacos?” Diaomonique asked. 

Xidorn nodded, sending them to the end of the table. “We had to say goodbye to a lot of great people too. Like Bethany, and now Seraphina. In the most unfair way they could go.”

“Amen to that,” Lita stated, hugging Ness for a moment. 

“I know,” Melissa sighed, placing her hand on Xidorn’s shoulder. “I miss so many people; Diamonique, Hayden, Frannie…Aiden especially. I wonder if he’s thinking about me now.”

“We had a lot of great people on our team,” Kalino admitted. 

“Not to mention our bro Easton,” Griswold stated, not noticing Weston’s pout. 

“I even kinda miss ZZ Zipporah,” Riley admitted. 

“That goth chick?” Vance asked, raising his eyebrow. “Pssh, who cares about her?”

“She had her charms in her own snarky way,” Riley defended. 

“Hmph, the only good thing is that those rats Tessa and Pascal aren’t here,” Lita stated. 

“I guess,” Ness sighed. “Though Pascal wasn’t all bad...”

“He was a fun dude,” Kalino admitted. “When he wasn’t strategizing.” 

“Well let’s not focus on the past right now,” Melissa stated. “As sad it is to say goodbye to good friends, let’s be happy for the friends we made.”

“Here, here!” Weston cheered. 


“I made the merge!” Weston cheered. “You hear that Easton? I made the merge and you didn’t! Nah, nah, nah! I know I’m not the brightest, so I thought I would get voted off quickly. But I didn't! I’ve had a lot of good times actually; with Xidorn, Vance and my sweet Cynthia! I love my small town...but I’ve never had so much fun!”


“There were a lot of times I was worried,” Xidorn admitted. "I actually made the merge though. This feast made it feel real! Glad it wasn't a brunch of disgustingness. I think it raised all our spirits. The thing is this is the halfway point; it’s a milestone, but it's still a big battle to go. I’m ready for it though!”


Lita was eating cheese fries from her bra. “Before this show, I never slept in a hotel. Now I’m eating a feast at one on TV! I’m looking forward to the merge; it means tougher challenges and more opponents' butts to kick!”


Cynthia sharpened her knives and stared. “I’m not surprised I’m still here. I am surprised I made some friends and a boyfriend. I guess I had fun getting here; I slashed a lot to get here…but I’m just getting started.”


“I’m somewhat astounded to be here,” Ignacio admitted. “Part of me thought I’d make it here just for my looks; another part thought I’d be eliminated for the same reason. Yet my teammates accepted me...I’m really lucky.” 


Melissa clapped her hands. “I’m just so proud of us all for making it here. Everyone should feel really proud too. It's been a ride with its ups and downs, but I think it's going to turn around...right?”


“Eeee!” Ness squealed. “I made the merge, I made the merge, I made the merge! I mean I was actually cast on my favorite show and made it here! I’m still shocked I wasn’t the first one sent home. And to all of the jerks at my school that bet I would be, suck it! To all the fans...dreams do come true!”


Vance leaned back and put his feet up. “The merge doesn’t change all that much for your boy Vance here. Just more challenges for me to win. I do have to thank my deputies of course...I especially appreciate Xidorn teaching me to read. That would have never happened if I wasn’t here."


“Woo!” Griswold cheered. “I’m at the merge on TOTAL DRAMA! Woo! I want to give a shout out to my team; Go Bulldogs! I did it guys! I actually lead a team, and we didn’t lose every challenge. Ooh, and a shout out to my sisters and mom, miss you girls. Dang, the game is about to get serious! I’m a little nervous, but just so excited!” 


“I kinda knew I’d get here,” Kalino stated. “It wasn’t always how I planned, but good enough. My sister said I’d never get on the show over her...then when I did, that I’d be the first out. Suck on that sis! You’re wrong as per usual! I think I need to just sit back and go with the flow.” 


Riley licked her fingers clean. “I’ve just been trying to enjoy my time here, but I actually made the merge. It's crazy dudes, and you know what's even crazier? I might actually be able to win this! You know, the Eagles do have the numbers, but I’m not worried. Not everything goes like it seems in life. I’m just going to wait and see what happens.” 


“Can someone pass the danishes?” Diamonique asked.

Ignacio nodded. The model patted his stomach, but still went for another bite. “Wow, we now have a one-in-eleven chance of earning two million dollars. The end feels far, but you can just see it.”

“What will you do if you win the money Ignacio?” Ness asked. 

Ignacio scratched his beard. “I would ensure my parents would never have to work another day in their life. Then I presume I would set up college funds for my siblings and myself. Possibly even retire from modeling.”

“The world will have a day of mourning when that happens,” Lita joked. 

“I think the world's seen enough of me after this show,” Ignacio replied. “What about you Lita?” 

“I really haven’t thought about it,” Lita admitted. “I guess I’d help my family too...Ness, give me some ideas. What would you do?”

Ness blushed and looked away. “Well I’d…no, its silly. I’d probably never do it, even if I won.”

“Aww, tell us Loch Ness,” Riley stated. “Please, with jalapeno sauce on top!”

“The only silly idea is not pursuing your dream,” Xidorn stated, the others nodding. 

“Okay, okay, but everyone else has to share too,” Ness stated. “ I want to be a veterinarian, so I’d go to vet school and then…well, I’ve always wanted to open my very own zoo, dedicated to medical research and treating injured animals.”

“That’s an amazing idea Ness!” Lita cheered. 

“I would love to see that,” Ignacio agreed. 

“Way better than mine,” Riley said. “I was just going to have monkey butlers.”

Griswold chuckled. “Of course you would! That’s such a you thing. ”

“What’s that mean?” Riley asked. “You don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Griswold stated. “I might even steal it.”

Riley playfully punched her friend’s arm. “If you do, you better share dude!”

“Of course,” Griswold replied. “I might ask for some more of your ideas. You always have great ones.” 

Riley started to blush, but she and Griswold kept laughing. 

“I hate to interrupt,” Lita stated glaring, “but is that all Riley?”

“Oh no,” Riley said. “I’d probably move me and my bros to some huge mansion too, you know Richie Rich style.” 

“I’ll definitely buy a bigger house for my mom,” Griswold stated. “Then take my little sisters to a One Rejection concert like they want. First I’m throwing a kicking victory party, and you’re all invited!”

The others cheered. 

“When I win I’ll probably start my own rodeo show,” Vance stated. “Buy my own ranch too, fill it with tons of new horses.”

“New horses?” Ignacio asked. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea after the last one.”

Vance blushed as some of the others snickered. 

“Wait, but what about your family’s ranch?” Xidorn asked. 

“My what?” Vance asked. “Oh, yeah, the ranch my family definitely owns.” 

“Why buy another?” Xidorn questioned. “I mean you said you’d inherit that one.”

“Well…of course I will,” Vance replied. “I just meant I’ll get another one…start a chain of my family’s ranches! Its’ what my Pa would’ve wanted. What about you deputy?”

“I’d pay my way through film school,” Xidorn replied. “Maybe use the money to make my own independent horror film, one of my dream projects. I wonder if I could even get it to air at the Sundance Festival.” 

“Ooh, ooh, can we cameo in it!” Weston begged. 

“Definitely,” Xidorn agreed. “Heck, maybe I’d film it here; it’s certainly a good setting.”

“It has its charm,” Melissa admitted. “In a grotesque kind of way. For me, I think I would give most of the money-“

“-to charity,” the others finished. 

Melissa giggled. “Exactly. What about you Cynthia?” 

Cynthia looked up from carving the ham, holding a blade dripping with juice. “More knives.”

The other newcomers gulped. 

“And you Weston?” Melissa asked. 

“Huh?” Weston asked.

“Yeah, what would you do if I didn’t win bud?” Vance asked. 

“What are you future plans?” Xidorn asked. 

“Uh…I don’t have any future plans,” Weston admitted. 

“Not even a career you want to do?” Xidorn asked. 

Weston shook his head. “I guess I never thought about it before.”

“You’re going to be a junior next year, right?” Xidorn asked. “You’ll start applying to colleges. You should give it some thought Weston.”

Weston rubbed the back of his head. “I guess…”

“If he wins it doesn’t matter,” Kalino stated. “You’ll be loaded for life, you wouldn’t have to work ever again!”

“So what are you planning to do if you win Kalino?” Melissa asked. 

“Mannnnn whatever I want,” Kalino admitted. “I could do anything…though I do have a promise I have to keep.”

Melissa stood up, glass in hand. “It sounds like no matter who wins, it’ll be exciting. I’d just like to make a toast to us all, and wish the best of luck to everyone. I hope the rest of our days will be fun, and an early congratulations to the winner. Cheers, to the merge!”

Melissa raised her glass and the other newcomers followed, clinking them together over the table. “Cheers!”

The contestants took a sip and sighed. 

“What do you think Rhonda is talking to the producers about?” Ness asked. “The merge?”

“Who knows with Rhonda,” Ignacio stated. “She’s very secretive.”

“I hear that,” Vance replied. “I bet she has a big secret or something she’s hiding…like an ugly birthmark.”

“I could see it,” Weston admitted, a few of the others nodding in agreement. 

“I meant more relating to her past,” Ignacio sighed. 

“I wonder what the first challenge will be?” Melissa asked. “Or if they’ll be any twists.”

“Eh, I doubt it,” Diamonique stated. “Melissa, could you pass the potatoes?”

“Sure thing Diamonique,” Melissa stated, passing the potatoes. 

“The original did,” Xidorn stated. “Around the merge they brought b…”

Everyone paused for a moment. They then turned their heads towards the left, where a familiar face was stuffing her face at the head of the table. “DIAMONIQUE?”

Diamonique titled her head. “Surprise, bitches.” 

“Why are you here?” Ignacio asked. 

“Great to see you too hot stuff,” Diamonique replied with a wink. 

“I thought we voted off Diamonique?” Weston asked. “Was that someone else?”

“Oh, you did vote me off,” Diamonique replied. I’m just way too fabulous to stay down; I’m competing again.” 

How is this possible?” Kalino asked. 

“Ask Rhonda,” Diamonique replied, squashing a potato with her fist. 

That’s not fair; we already voted you off!” Vance shouted. “Now we have to do it again?” 

“Nice to see you Vance,” Diamonique replied, finishing off the last potato.

“Wait,” Xidorn stated. “Did…did someone return with you?”

Diamonique smirked. She nodded and pointed at the end of the table. Everyone turned to see someone else sitting at the other head of the table. 

Riley gasped. 

Griswold gasped. 

Ness gasped. 

Kalino gasped. 

Vance gasped. 

Melissa gasped. 

Lita gasped. 

Weston gasped. 

Xidorn gasped. 

Ignacio gasped. 

Cynthia didn’t react; only staring with her unblinking eyes as usual. 

There, sitting in the chair was...a guy. He was um…there. He had brown hair or something. He wore some shoes, and pants and a shirt with some stripes I think.

Everyone stared for a long moment at the guy sitting there. He forced a smile and waved.

“Who?”

“Was he a contestant?”

“I thought he was an intern.” 

“Who?” 

“Is he debuting?”

"Who?"

“Wait, where are we looking again? I don’t see anything…” 

The guy sighed, hanging his head in shame.

“Don’t you remember?”

The guy shot up. Everyone turned to look at Lita. “He’s the first one voted off from the Fireworks.”

“Y...yeah,” the guy replied. 

“It's Jasper, right?” Lita asked. 

“Uhhhhhh…”

His mouth hanging open wide and not working, he nodded repeatedly, until he accidentally hit his head against the table.  

“How did you know there'd be two Xi?” Weston asked.

“The original brought back two people at the merge,” Xidorn explained. “I didn’t even think about it, but it makes sense Rhonda would use this twist.”

“No it doesn’t,” Vance pouted. “It's completely cheap.”

“Let’s vote you off and see if you still feel the same way,” Diamonique stated. “I bet if any of you went home early, you’d all be begging for a second chance.”

Vance blushed as the other mergers shared a look.

“She has a point,” Kalino admitted. 

At that moment, Rhonda walked in. “Sorry for the disturbance. Did everyone enjoy the meal?” 

Diamonique belched, knocking over a tower of plates next to her. “It was alright.”

Rhonda frowned. “Didn’t I tell you two to wait for your cue?” 

“And miss a free feast?” Diamonique asked. “It's not realistic of me.” 

Rhonda shrugged and smiled. “Eh. Was everyone surprised then?”

“I knew you had some trick up your sleeve,” Griswold sighed. 

“You going to explain any of this Rhonda?” Vance asked. 

“In a good time,” Rhonda said. “I have a lot news for you all tonight, some good, some bad. So let me go through it all. First, let’s just make clear what the merge means. For the audience and you."

Rhonda cleared her throat. “You went through the team phase; this is the individual phase. This means you will compete by yourself, though a select couple of challenges may allow you to work with a few others or have you compete in pairs. Everyone will also vote at each elimination ceremony, with only the winning newcomer, or newcomers if a challenge allows, having invincibility.”

Everyone nodded. 

“Good,” Rhonda said. “Now I’m here to tell you this about the merge. Again, you should all feel good! You made it to the halfway point. Still, that doesn’t mean you get to be lazy. The challenges, the votes and the twists are going to be a lot harder from here on out! We have surprises in store, and it's not going to be pretty or fair. You’ll have to fight hard, but that’s what it takes for two million dollars.”

A few of the teens gulped, but nodded. 

“That brings us to number two on the agenda,” Rhonda stated. “I’m happy to announce that we once again have a primetime slot!”

“We lost it?” Ignacio whispered. 

“I guess the ratings went up then?” Griswold asked. 

“Some,” Rhonda replied. “Really the network needed a last minute replacement. The host of some world-traveling show got hospitalized by a camel and won’t be able to do the rest of their season.”

“Oh how dreadful,” Melissa said. 

Rhonda placed her hand over her heart. “It truly is a tragedy, but the best way to honor him is by giving a great show in his place. Our episodes will now be slightly longer to fill this primetime slot. Additionally, we’ll have two extra episodes to fill its entire schedule. On that note, I’m sure you’ve noticed our two guests.”

Diamonique waved again. “It took them a while, but how could they not?”

“Took the words out of mouth,” Kalino mumbled.

Rhonda smirked. “For all of you curious, allow me to clarify for you. Diamonique and Jean-Pierre are officially returning! This means that they will compete and have the chance to earn two million dollars.”

Diamonique clapped for the two of them as Jimbo Jasper blushed.

“With two episodes, we need two more eliminations,” Rhonda explained. “I thought what better drama than the two people who were first voted off by own their teams?”

Ignacio raised an eyebrow, but he said nothing. 

“So I’d like to welcome them back,” Rhonda said. “Anything you two would like to say?”

“I’m glad to be back,” Diamonique replied. “I’m sure all of you will be too soon enough.”

“I just feel really-”

“-That’s nice,” Rhonda said. “Its great to have both of you back. Isn’t everyone excited?” 

“I think it's sweet to give someone a second chance,” Melissa stated.

Everyone else agreed, even if they were shocked or disappointed. 

“Well then you’re all going to love the next bit of news,” Rhonda said, with a forced laugh. 

“What do you mean?” Xidorn asked. 

Rhonda gritted her teeth into a fake smile. “Like I said, we got two extra episodes ordered as part of our primetime slot. We’ve been having earlier challenges recently to make this adjustment for our own schedule. Now, the producers realized that we need something to fill in for those two episodes and made plans...without consulting me first. I had my plans already made when they told me their decision...which for the sake of my job, I’m forced to comply with.”

“This is some of that bad news, isn’t it?” Ness asked. 

Rhonda nodded. “They decided we should have a returnee, and insisted on someone specific. Despite me telling them it isn’t necessary, they're dead set.”

“There is an extra chair still available at the table,” Kalino observed.

Toby walked into the room, whispering into Rhonda’s ear, before leaving. 

“It looks like our last guest has arrived,” Rhonda stated. “So it's my ‘pleasure’ to welcome back…”

Jenny and Toby escorted the returnee into the room. Everyone went silent at their presence, until finally a voice spoke up. 

“OH **** NO!”

“...Tessa."

The former Olympian sighed and took the only available seat, next to Riley. 

“Why her?” Xidorn asked. “Why not...anyone but her?”

“It's not my choice,” Rhonda said. “She’s still very famous, so the executives thought she’d be good for ratings.”

“There’s nothing you can do?” Lita asked. “Literally nothing? You couldn’t even get someone like Amanda Picklestein instead?”

“I actually tried that,” Rhonda said. “Sadly, the network would not relent.”

“I can hear you,” Tessa said. “I’m right here.”

“We know,” Ignacio stated. “That’s precisely the problem.”

Tessa sighed and rubbed her temples. “I knew this would happen…”

“Is Tessa’s return going to change anything?” Weston asked. 

“Besides making everything even worse,” Kalino said. 

“It may change some plans I had for challenges and a potential merge returnee contest,” Rhonda admitted. “We’ll work around it. Its great to have you back I guess Tessa.”

“That sure means a lot Rhonda,” Tessa replied, side-eyeing the hostess. 

“Now, any quick questions about the returning competitors?” Rhonda asked. 

Ignacio raised his hand. “Pardon, but I have to ask, have these returnees had the privilege of seeing the finished episodes? It feels like that could be a huge disadvantage to us.”

“Fair point,” Rhonda said, “but the returnees haven’t seen any of the footage. As perhaps you’ve guessed or heard through the grapevine, the losers are sequestered together. Since the losers support one of the final two in the finale, we wanted their opinions to be based on what they or their follow losers experienced in the game.” 

“So do you guys know anything that’s happened?” Weston asked. 

“We know plenty,” Diamonique replied. 

Rhonda nodded. “While they don’t have the advantage of being present, they have been able to talk to everyone who has been voted out at this point, even Seraphina for at least last night to now. So they’ve had a chance to hear most everything; whether they took that chance and whether that info came from a reliable loser is up for debate.”

“What can they tell us?” Melissa asked. 

“Good question Melissa,” Rhonda replied. “There are obviously some things they can’t disclose. For example, what happens to you after you eliminated; the only way for you to know is to find out first hand. However, at this point we all know they’ve seen the other losers, so if they want to share updates or news, they have the right.” 

Juju Jasper raised his hand. “I was wondering if-”

“-Alright, since there are no more questions,” Rhonda continued, “let’s get to the next bit of news.”

“Jasper has a question,” Diamonique stated. 

Rhonda blushed. “Sorry about that Jagger, you were asking?”

“Will we be rooming in the same rooms as last time?” he asked. 

Rhonda nodded. “You’ll get your old room keys after this meeting; that means Diamonique and Tessa will be sleeping alone, while you’ll room with Ignacio again.”

“We were roommates?” Ignacio asked. 

“In any case,” Rhonda continued, “I’d hate for you all to try and ruin the fun of having returnees by sending them right back home. So Diamonique, Joey, and Tessa will have immunity at the first elimination ceremony they need it.”

Diamonique chuckled. Jerd Jasper sighed in relief. 

“The first ceremony we need it at?” Tessa asked. “What does that mean?”

“I’m guessing,” Xidorn said, "it means that if they, or you sadly, win invincibility, the immunity will carry over until you aren’t safe.”

“So if we win the first challenge we’ll be safe at the next two eliminations?” Diamonique asked. “And if we win the first two challenges, we’ll be safe at the next three? And so on?”

“Yup,” Rhonda replied. “I didn’t bring you back not to participate in challenges. I thought you might not have enough motivation for the first challenge if you were already immune. Consider this your motivation.”

The others groaned, mostly directed at Tessa. 

“On the subject of immunity,” Rhonda continued, ““Its to my, and the network breathing down my neck’s, disappointment that no immunity flash drives have been used. I mean we don’t want to waste a twist, or an easy to manufacture piece of merchandise. So, we’re amending the rules a bit for them. The team immunity flash drives were only for the team phase...however, if you have a gold immunity flash drive you can take immunity off those drives and place it on the gold drive.” 

“Oh yeah!” Weston recalled, “I forget those things exist!”

“Since it is the merge,” Rhonda said, “we’ve decided to hide another gold immunity flash drive in the hotel! So you’d better go flush it out of its hiding place.”


Kalino was shown shaking the cushion of the confessional seat and rummaging through the side, before stopping and shrugging. “I guess Rhonda isn’t actually dumb enough to hide it in the same place twice.”


“Now Jewel just mentioned rooms,” Rhonda said, “which brings me to our next point. We haven’t always had rewards for every challenge, but we’re trying to incorporate more. We’d like to have one for every merge challenge; more rewards for harder tasks. We can’t promise they’ll be a unique reward for every challenge, but there will be a recurring prize for the winner of every challenge.

“The Pentagram Hotel will be open to the public soon after the show. We'd like to advertise one of its finest features. Allow me to introduce, the penthouse suite.”

Jenny and Toby pushed in a cart with a TV and DVD player. Toby put in a disc and turned on the TV.

The screen showed a large hotel room, with a lit hearth in the wall and a creepy portrait hanging over it. The painting depicted a pale man in black, with a sunken in face that smiled as he twisted his mustache.

“On the top floor you’ll find this room,” Rhonda continued, “where the very creator of this hotel spent his days planning murder after murder, until he was executed.”

“Why would any sane person want to stay there?” Lita asked. 

“Because we’ve upgraded this room to be the ultimate in luxury!” Rhonda replied. 

The camera panned over to door. Jenny and Toby entered, using a gold key card. Jenny ran over to the left, then jumped into a giant, comfy bed. 

“Staying here you’ll be sleeping in a king sized bed,” Rhonda said. “Complete with silk and satin sheets made from China and plenty of Egyptian cotton pillows.”

Jenny grabbed a remote from a nearby nightstand. She pressed a button and the bed reclined and began vibrating. “Ooooooh yeaaaaaaahhhhh.”

“Did I mention the reclining and massaging mattress?”

“Ooooh!” the contestants gasped. 

“The penthouse suite has one of the best views in all of Washington, D.C.”

The camera panned to the window, where the White House and Lincoln Memorial could be seen. 

“But if you want to look at something else, the penthouse suite has something for you.” 

Jenny grabbed another remote off the stand. With a press of a button, a giant TV screen descended from the wall in front of her.

“We have a flat plasma screen TV for your enjoyment!” Rhonda continued, Jenny flipping through the channels. “With over a thousand channels to choose from, including all access pay per view! No channel is off limits.”

“Not even the naughty ones?” Vance asked. 

He blushed at all the looks he got. 

“Sure, they’re there,” Rhonda replied, getting her even more looks. “Hey, we can edit it to be PG-13.” 

Jenny pressed another button, causing shelves of DVDs and games to rise up from the floor. 

“We also have tons of movies you can choose from. Plus five different video game systems you can play!”

The scene cut to Toby in a bathrobe, now stepping out of a fancy shower.

“This suite also comes with a state of the art shower,” Rhonda continued. “With multiple massaging shower heads and exclusive soaps and shampoos imported from Europe.”

“Mama has to try that,” Diamonique announced. 

“We haven’t even gotten to our high tech toilet,” Rhonda stated. 

Toby walked over to a large porcelain toilet. It glowed blue and stated, “Good Evening Toby.”

“You got a talking toilet?” Kalino asked. “That’s horrifying and awesome!”

“This toilet can actually responds to voice command,” Rhonda explained. “It can even recognize voices of previous users. It can also play music, tell jokes, has a seat warmer and a bidet.”

“What is a bidet?” Lita asked. 

Ness whispered in her ear. “Wait...what! That’s a thing?” 

The scene cut back to Jenny in bed. She reached over to the nightstand again, picking up a phone. 

“You can use the phone to order free room service,” Rhonda stated. “Request any meal and it’ll be brought to your room. Want breakfast in bed? Popcorn for a movie? An ice cream sundae midnight snack? Just pick up the phone. Our attendants will be happy to help…”

“Attendants?” Griswold asked. 

“Fans were so eager to get on the show,” Rhonda explained, “they paid for a chance. So we let a select few winners of a raffle become ‘maids’ and ‘butlers’ for you at your stay. You can select who will attend you, where they’ll wait on hand and foot for you. They even come with special uniforms.”

“Did someone order room service?” 

Toby opened the door. Standing outside were a young man and woman striking a pose. The woman, the purple haired fan from Dump The Chumps, was dressed in a french maid costume, with a short skirt and fishnets. The butler was a blonde and muscular gentlemen, with green eyes. He was shirtless, dressed in black dress pants, shirt cuffs and a bowtie, looking more like a Chippendale dancer than a butler.

The maid held out a silver tray, lifting it to reveal a pizza. “One pizza, fresh and piping hot.” 

“I also heard someone ordered a hot towel massage?” the butler asked, speaking in some kind of foreign accent. 

“Call us if you need anything,” the maid stated. “Anything.”

“Its our pleasure to serve,” the butler added. 

“As long as we can cameo in fic, we’ll do it,” the purple girl teased, before Toby slammed the door.

“So come on down to the Pentagram Hotel, and enjoy the luxury of our penthouse suite!” 

The clip ended. The two co-hosts pushed the TV out of the room.

“Man I killed it in that commercial,” Jenny said. 

“That’s cause you didn’t have to speak,” Toby replied. 

“YOUR MOM!”

“As I said, the winner of a challenge will get to stay in the penthouse and enjoy its amenities,” Rhonda said. “Until the next challenge. There are two massage beds in there, so you can even choose one friend to accompany you.”

“That all sounds amazing!” Ness stated. “Especially the butlers…uh, cause they can wait on you.”

“That butler wasn’t that hot,” Ignacio grumbled. 

“This is all a lot to take in,” Xidorn admitted. “Is that everything with the merge?”

Rhonda smiled. She motioned to the cameramen with a finger over throat, who lowered their camera. “Finally, I just want to share something with you. I appreciate you all joining this show and giving it your best. It means a lot for us to share this journey together. Really it does...”

The others smiled.

“…But I also want to be frank with you. This show has struggled. Only now have we’ve clawed our way out of the grave and back to prime-time. Really only through dumb luck. I’m trying to save this show…so if you want to come to me and complain, as you’ve started doing, or dare I say try to ‘quit’, allow me to make one thing clear; you can leave.

“If you want to whine about returnees or twists, go the confessional or each other. Not me! If it's soooo unfair, then I’ll be delighted to send you home early. Instead of the Public Transportation of Losers, I’ll make a special call and you can ride the Whambulance right off this show! You can leave Washington and not appear for the rest of the season, including the finale.

Mark my words, I swear if you try to quit or refuse to participate and make my show boring, you will be miserable. I will have the editors, which I am one of we’re so understaffed, make sure that you’re hardly heard or seen at all. We can even use CGI to edit you out of scenes! What we will show will be your biggest failures, most shameful moments and when you’re at your worst. Whole montages of you sucking will play. You’ll be hated. You'll be a joke. If you want to give America, Canada, Japan, Brazil, many other countries and the whole Internet the chance to see that, then test me. Understood?”

Weston shot up his hand. “Haven’t most of the other episodes aired already? You can’t change those, can you?”

Rhonda by now was shaking in anger, her eye starting to twitch. “I will find a way to ruin you. ANYONE ELSE?”

The newcomers simultaneously gulped. 

“Super duper!” Rhonda cheered. “It was great talking to you all! Congrats again for making the merge! Enjoy the rest of your feast. I’ll see you tomorrow for our first challenge!”


The newcomers sat there in silence for a few moments. 

“Can some pass the cupcakes?” Diamonique asked. “No sense in letting this food go to waste.”

“She has a point,” Riley agreed. “We still made the merge. This feast is to celebrate, so why not celebrate?” 

The others agreed and everyone began to dine again, only much more quietly. 

Weston rubbed his chin in thought. “Hmm...did anyone find any of those flash drive things?”

Melissa almost choked on her salad. “Uh, I think even if anyone did they wouldn’t admit it dear.”

“Someone on our former team did.”

Everyone turned to look at Cynthia. “Remember our final question in the truth challenge? Who has an immunity flash drive on our team?”

“I just assumed it was a cruel joke by Jenny,” Xidorn admitted. “The question didn’t even matter since the points wouldn’t help.”

“Every other question was accurate,” Cynthia stated. 

“Cynthia has a point mannnnn,” Kalino stated. “One of us could have a flash drive.”

“You’re not actually playing dumb are you?” 

Everyone turned to Tessa. 

“What?” Kalino asked. 

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Really? So what happened to that red immunity flash drive I gave you?”

“You gave him a flash drive?” Griswold asked. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about," Kalino said. “Did I do something to you…have we even talked before?”

“I found that flash drive sticking out of a vent,” Tessa explained. “I knew you and Pascal were close, so I asked you to use it for me.”

“But a flash drive is only for one team, right?” Kalino asked. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Tessa shouted. “As I told you, it can only be used by a member of that team. Doesn’t mean you can’t use it on someone from another team. You pretended you did before our elimination ceremony, and kept it for yourself this whole time!”

Everyone gasped.

Xidorn shook his head. “I can't believe it.”

“I...I am sorry,” Tessa admitted. “I know this is something you don't want to hear.”

“No,” Xidorn said. “I mean I don’t believe it. Kalino has been a good friend to me, and a teammate who gives his all. What I can’t believe, is that you would actually try that!”

“What?”

Xidorn stood up. “You heard me! I’m not buying that ridiculous story, against Kalino of all people! You expect me to believe that coincidentally the night you were eliminated, you found the Eagles flash drive and got Kalino to agree to that? Then he just happened to betray you? 

How ‘convenient’ you’ve returned and can out him,” Ignacio added. 

“I just don’t understand why you’re so against me,” Kalino ‘admitted’.

“She probably has some random beef with you,” Lita said. “She tends to do that.”

“Why would I lie?” Tessa asked. 

Xidorn rolled his eyes. “To get the target off your back. You know nobody is glad you’re here. You’re trying to save your own skin by throwing someone under the bus. Gosh...this isn’t actually that surprising.” 

“That’s not what I’m trying to do,” Tessa said. “I’m trying to help! He has the Eagles immunity flash drive!”

Xidorn slammed his fist on the table. “Just stop! I can’t deal with this...Seraphina sacrificed herself. She gave up her chance this close to the merge.” 

“Xidorn, I didn’t mean-”

“-Don’t even try,” Xidorn stated. “Don’t act like you’re upset. We all know you kicked her out of your room! You were awful to her! You were awful to a lot of us! Yet here you are, instead of all the people we care about! Instead of the people who deserve it. So enjoy your immunity while it lasts; as soon as it's over, we’re all voting you off.”

Xidorn stared Tessa down. The gymnast sighed. She said nothing as she pushed out her chair and left. 

Xidorn panted as he sat back down. 

“You alright partner?” Vance asked. 

“Yeah,” Xidorn replied. “I’m just, so ticked off.”

Kalino pulled Xidorn in for a hug. “I appreciate you standing up for me dude.”

Xidorn nodded. “Of course! I wasn’t going to let her get away with that. I just hate we actually have to put up with her for a little while.”

“Amen,” Lita stated, Ignacio, Kalino and Ness nodding in agreement. 


Dinner ended soon after, the teens slowly slipping away to their own corners. 

Griswold, Riley and Ignacio were the last to leave. 

Griswold looked around, eyeing the hallway. He whispered, “Okay dogs, this might sound crazy...but what if Tessa was telling the truth?”

“Those assertions against Kalino?” Ignacio stated. “I doubt she was candid; she’s known to play underhanded. Even in her own anecdote she was underhanded if her plan worked. Not to mention her unforgivable bullying of Lita just informs her character as malicious.”

“It sounds fishy,” Griswold sighed. “…I don’t know, something about Kalino rubs me the wrong way.”

“I got the same vibe,” Riley replied. “I could see Rhonda creating a loopy loophole like that for the flash drives too.”

“Exactly,” Griswold stated. “But what really makes me consider it…remember that elimination ceremony? Kalino fell out of the voting booth right before we voted.”

“Dude he did!” Riley exclaimed.

“It was likely an accident,” Ignacio stated. “I mean if Kalino hypothetically kept the drive for himself, why even be in the booth? It certainly didn’t make her immune. She probably got the idea from it.” 

“He does fall asleep everywhere,” Riley admitted. “I found him asleep in the lobby john, the mailbox, on a gargoyle…” 

“I found him slumbering in a ficus and a chandelier,” Ignacio added. 

“Fair point,” Griswold conceded. “It's not like we’re not going to vote Tessa off next time.”

“Yeah,” Riley sighed. 

“What elicits my curiosity is the other returnees,” Ignacio stated. 

“What’cha talking about Iggy?” Riley asked. 

“Why Diamonique and…Jonah I think,” Ignacio questioned. “Why them?”

“They were the first voted off by their own team,” Griswold explained. 

“That’s what Rhonda said,” Ignacio replied. “She also said they were here for drama. And while this could cause drama…do those two seem like drama starters?” 

“Not really dude,” Griswold admitted. 

“Exactly,” Ignacio replied. “Rhonda’s goal is to gain a lot of ratings, especially now that she’s in prime-time…so she brings back a guy no one knows. I suspect an ulterior motive for their return.”

“Rhonda could be lying,” Riley stated. “She has lied to us before, like about no one ever coming back ever…”

“We don’t know what happened on the Molting Eagles,” Griswold stated. “I still don’t know why exactly they voted off their leader. I mean I wasn’t surprised when Diamonique was voted off, but I honestly don’t know why she was.” 

“Fair enough,” Ignacio replied. “Perhaps we need to talk to more Eagles. The real baffling element is…Jar Jar. Why him? Rhonda could have chosen anyone. Even made it into a competition to return. But him?”

Griswold shrugged. “Who knows half the stuff Rhonda does. You got to stop obsessing over her so much, its a little weird.”

“Understandable,” Ignacio replied. “I just don’t like a mystery unsolved.” 

Riley poked Ignacio in the ab. “Maybe he likes her?” 

“You’re kidding?” Ignacio laughed. “Of course not...and I don’t like anybody else either. You know, if you were curious.”

Riley raised an eyebrow. “That sure sounds suspicious.”

“It wasn’t,” Ignacio replied. 

Griswold chuckled. “Maybe he likes you Riley.”

“For real?” Riley laughed. 

“Who could blame him,” Griswold replied. “You’re the most amazing girl ever.” 

Riley laughed. “Yeah, yeah.”

“No, I mean it,” Griswold replied. 

Riley laughed, but blushed. “Right back at you big guy...except the girl part.”

“I think we should stop by Lita’s and Ness’,” Griswold stated. “We need to figure out what we’re going to do…” 

Griswold ran ahead. Riley watched, then looked back to see Ignacio winking at her.

“What?”

“I ship it,” Ignacio whispered. 

Riley rolled her eyes. “Griswold and I totally don’t like each other.”

“That sure sounds suspicious,” Ignacio replied.

“Weren’t we talking about your love life?” Riley asked.

Ignacio raced ahead of her. “Come on, we’re losing Griswold.”


“I’m not in denial about liking my bromosapien Gris Bear,” Riley stated. “I mean, ever since Easton said something I have been thinking...Griswold isn’t the kind of guy I would notice. I usually go for the weirdos...my last boyfriend was an iguana farmer. Gris isn’t freaky, but we do have a lot in common, enjoy spending time together, and he’s one of the best people ever. He’s just really sweet to me. What would it be like if he we dated...not that we would…”


Meanwhile, Diamonique, Cynthia and Melissa walked through the hall. Diamonique chugged a soda with every step.

“Its really good to have you back Diamonique,” Melissa said. “Again, I’m terribly sorry you left.”

“Like I said I’m not mad,” Diamonique replied. “It happened, but I’m still at the merge! I didn’t even have to do that many challenges to do it. I know you gals didn’t vote me off, but no hard feelings to any of the other Eagles.”

“Aww, that’s really sweet,” Melissa said. “I’m honestly relieved you returned. I felt like Cynthia is really my only ally. Its nice to know that’s no longer true.”

“Thanks girlie,” Diamonique replied. “I’m glad you two are actually happy I’m back.”

“We did have an alliance,” Cynthia reminded. 

“As far as I’m concerned,” Diamonique stated. “That alliance is back in black hunties!”

Melissa squealed, glomping the two. “This is wonderful! I wish Frannie was here too; she really didn’t talk much after you went home you. Of course it sounds like she didn’t go home…”

“Rhonda let her visit the circus,” Diamonique stated. “She got to put on a few last shows with them… I promised Fran I would help her if I won, so I have to win for her too.”

“We’ll do it together!” Melissa stated. “The three of us, a girl group united! We could call ourselves...The Lady Eagles!”

Cynthia held out her hand. Melissa immediately placed her hand on top. Diamonique smiled and added her hand. They raised them up and shouted, “The Lady Eagles!”

Melissa giggled. “Well, this is our room. We’ll see you tomorrow, okay Diamonique?”

Diamonique scratched her head. “Hold on, I’m forgetting something...oh duh!”

From under her raspberry beret, the scatterbrain pulled out an envelope. “I snuck this in here for you Melissa, from a special someone.” 

Melissa squealed and tore open the letter. “Eeeee! My shoompy poops wrote me a letter! Aww, its poetry…”

“Your man ever write you love poems Cynthia?” Diamonique asked. 

“He tried once,” Cynthia said. “He couldn’t rhyme anything with orange. He expresses his feelings in other ways.” 

Diamonique winked. “I think it's time for me to get some beauty sleep, not that I need it. I’ll see you at breakfast Lady Eagles!”

Melissa wiped away the tears. “Thank you Diamonique, really thank you! I’m so glad you’re back!”

Diamonique waved. “Me too! Like I said, I’m not mad.”


Diamonique stared at the camera. She held up her soda can. “I’m not mad. I’m PISSED OFF!"

She grunted while tearing the can in half with her bare hands. “Those dummies voted me off, and the rest didn’t even care! They thought I was their weakest link, that I could be tossed aside and forgotten like a piece of garbage. Well guess what; think again!”

Diamonique crushed the two halves in her hands. “I’m here for two things; the free food and revenge! Once I’ve won this show...they’ll never ever forget about me.” 


The Fireworks had gathered in Lita’s and Ness’ room. Lita heard a knock at the door; she found Tessa standing outside. 

Tessa squirmed in place, looking at the floor. “Hey Lita.”

“Do you want something?” Lita asked. 

Tessa sighed. “I wanted to apologize to you, for everything that I said before.”

“Aww, you can apologize,” Lita replied. 

Tessa looked up and smiled. “Really?”

Lita nodded. “Yeah. You can apologize by shutting the **** up and never saying another word to me ever again!”

Lita slammed the door in her face. “Hmph, who does she think she is trifling?”

“Geez Lita,” Riley stated. “Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?”

“Excuse me?” Lita asked. “Harsh? Refusing to give you a seat on the bus is a little harsh. Insulting me when I tried to apologize is harsh. Kicking out my best friend and insulting her is harsh. Insulting my mother and my brother to my face for millions to see is harsh!”

“Fair point,” Riley admitted. 

Lita gritted her teeth. “If that spoiled daddy’s girl thinks she can just waltz in here and get my forgiveness like that, she’s mistaken. I just want to vote her out again.” 

“I get it,” Riley said. “Gris, what’s this meeting about?”

“I guess I thought we should just talk,” Griswold admitted. “You know, like what we’re going to do now in the merge.” 

“We’ll stick together, right?” Ness asked. 

“That’s what I want!” Griswold replied. “Unfortunately, there’s still the matter of the Eagles outnumbering us. Technically, the returnees make us equal at seven each.” 

“We’re not actually working with Tessa though, right?” Ignacio asked. 

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Griswold admitted. “She failed us the last we time we trusted her. I want to vote her off too! My real concern is Diamonique and uh…”

“Jasper,” Lita corrected. 

“Right,” Griswold replied. “Do we think Diamonique would flip?”

“I can’t tell if she was peeved or not,” Riley admitted. “We can try. Maybe you can talk to her Iggy Pop...shirtless of course.” 

Ignacio blushed. “I don’t want to lead her own...or have her stalking me again.”

“I was kidding dude,” Riley teased. “We should all have a word with her.” 

“If she flips what’s stopping Jorge from doing the same,” Griswold stated. 

“We did vote him off,” Ness said. “I don’t know if I would trust any of us if we all sent him home.”

“Uhhhhhhhh…”

The former Fireworks turned to Lita, who blushed. 

“You didn’t vote for Judith?” Ignacio asked. 

Lita rolled her eyes. “If we’re going to try to work with him, y’all need to learn it’s Jasper! Like Capser, that ghost, but with a J. And yes, I didn’t. I warned him about it and voted for that hag Tessa because I didn’t think he should go. Which, I was right about by the way…” 

“We should have listened,” Ignacio admitted. “Now we’re lying in the beds we’re made. You don’t think you could talk to him, do you?”

“I was planning on chatting with him a bit,” Lita replied. “What do you want me to say?”

“Just see if J’Casper is willing to work with us,” Griswold said. “Tell him if he wants to we’d be happy to.”

“The more the merrier,” Ness agreed. 

Lita sighed. “Yeah okay, I’ll bring it up to Jasper.”


Tessa sighed as she flopped into her bed. She heard a knock at the door. She ran to the door to answer it, but frowned. 

“Expecting someone else?” Diamonique asked. 

The fashionista pushed her way into the room and slammed the door behind her. She sat herself on the bed and started to file her nails.

“Can I help you?” Tessa asked. 

“Maybe,” Diamonique replied. “Maybe we can help each other.”

“Huh?”

“Its shame you never really talked at the resort,” Diamonique said. “I didn’t realize we had so much in common.”

“We do?” Tessa asked. 

Diamonique nodded. “You know, I’m probably the only one who's happy you’re here.”

“Thanks...I guess,” Tessa replied. “Not that I’m not grateful, but why?”

“We have a common enemy,” Diamonique said. “Kalino.”

“You hate that snake too?” Tessa asked. 

“Who do you think convinced my team to vote me off?” Diamonique asked. “Listening to the other losers, it sounds like we’re not his only victims.”

“So why didn’t you say anything at dinner when I was getting roasted?” Tessa questioned.

“I mean, it wasn’t solely his fault you went home,” Diamonique replied. “You were pretty awful.” 

Tessa frowned, but slumped over. “Yup.”

“Not to mention Kalino has them eating out of the palm of his hand,” Diamonique stated. “Until they wise up, we’re the only ones with a clue.” 

“So you believe me about the flash drive?” Tessa asked.

“Yeah,” Diamonique replied. “I could see you being stupid enough to think that would work.”

“Is there a point to this?” Tessa asked. 

Diamonique nodded. “How does a secret alliance sound to you?”

“Not great,” Tessa admitted. “That didn’t work out so great with Pascal…”

“I’m not Pascal,” Diamonique replied. “The boobs were kind of a give away. Listen Tess, if you want to go right back out the Revolving Doors of Shame, I’ll hold the door for you. But, if you want to get even with Kalino...to have the others realize the truth, then I’m your best bet.”

Tessa sighed. “When you put it like that...it's a deal.”

Diamonique held out her hand. “Let’s shake on it.”

Tessa grabbed her hand, as Diamonique picked her up and began shaking her. She dropped Tessa on the floor. “Alright, this secret alliance is official.”

“Do you actually have some kind of plan?” Tessa asked. 

Diamonique shrugged. “Meh, I’m kinda making it up as I go along.”


Meanwhile...

Jasper opened his door. “Oh.”

Lita stood outside the doorway. “Hey.”

Jasper shook his head. “Um, Ignacio isn’t here now…”

Lita chuckled. “Didn’t we do this before? I’m here to talk to you...can I come in?”

“Y...yeah, please!” 

Jasper tried to step outside and hold the door for her, awkwardly running into her. “You can uh, sit on the bed.”

Lita sat next to Jasper’s open luggage. She held up a pair of drawers. “Hehe, nice underoos.”

Jasper blushed and tossed them aside. “I was just unpacking. Sorry.”

Lita giggled. “You’re fine, I’m just messing with ya. Anyhow, I’m glad your back.”

“Really?”

“If anyone got a raw deal, it's you,” Lita said. “You didn’t really get a first chance, so you should have a second chance.” 

“Thank you,” Jasper replied. “Thank you for everything.”

“Huh?”

“Thank you for trying to save me from going home,” Jasper admitted. “And for not voting for me...I overheard one of the interns discuss the votes.”

“The interns said that in front of you?” Lita asked. 

“They uh...don’t usually notice when I’m there,” Jasper replied. “I really appreciate you risking your game for me like that. It's the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Ever.”

Lita flicked her wrist. “Pssh, it ain’t no problem honey. Fat load of good it did; you still went home.”

“I’m still really grateful for it,” Jasper said. “It means a lot to me.”

Lita smiled, but sighed. 

“Is something wrong?” Jasper asked. 

“My...our former teammates wanted me to ask if you'd vote with us,” Lita confessed. 

“Oh,” Jasper said. “Really? I hadn’t thought about a vote yet. Do you want me to?”

Lita bit her lip. “The truth is, we probably need a vote. Still, I’m not going to lie to you; I don’t know if you should.”

“What do you mean?” Jasper asked. 

“You don’t owe us anything,” Lita replied. “We gave you a raw deal. We sent you home without getting to know you. We kept that witch Tessa just to vote her off next anyway.”

“You didn’t do that,” Jasper stated. 

“I didn’t save you though,” Lita replied. “If it was me, I’d be bitter. I wouldn’t want to work with the Fireworks. You have another chance at this, and if it's not in your best interests to work with us, then you shouldn’t throw your game away. Do what you need to do.” 

“Thank you for the honestly,” Jasper replied. “I have a lot to think about... but I’ll get back to you, I promise."

Lita smiled and stood up. “Thanks. I better go and get some shut eye; no telling what Rhonda plans for tomorrow. I’ll see you...and I really am glad you’re back.”

Jasper blushed. “M...me too.”


Riley yawned as she enter her room. “Hmm, Weston must be making out with his gf somewhere.”

There was a knock against the door. 

“Did he lose his card again?” Riley laughed. 

Outside the door stood Tessa. “Hey Riley.”

“Uh, hey. What up?”

“Do you maybe...want to grab some Mickey Ds?”

Riley stared, then smiled. “Yeah! I’m always up for some Mickey Ds!” 


The two girls soon made their way to the Mickey D's in the underground chamber. 

“No one but us stays at this hotel, and it's still open twenty-four hours,” Tessa stated. 

“Less of a wait,” Riley replied. “What are you going to get anyway?”

Tessa blushed. “I’m getting a sweet tea actually.” 

Riley laughed. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Tessa replied. “I...I thought a lot about what you said to me that night. I realized, you were right. I am really alone…”

“Why didn’t you try Tessa?” Riley asked. “Why did you attack Lita like that?”

“I don’t know,” Tessa admitted. “I guess maybe I was jealous and I thought...I mean Lita’s this beautiful athlete, she felt just like one of those cool girls in high school.”

“What do you mean?” Riley asked. 

“I was bullied a lot in high school,” Tessa said. “I was a few grades younger and I do come from a rich family, so everyone treated me like dirt. I didn’t have any friends. They made me feel like I was nothing, so I swore I would become special; I trained endlessly to win my gold medal. That way I could prove I was better, I could make them nothing…”

Tessa sighed and slumped down into a chair. “I thought I’d feel better, but I was still alone. I couldn’t shake this sad feeling no matter what. I thought coming to this show I could escape it. Now I realize it; I was the reason I felt awful and alone.”

“Sounds like you were projecting your own fears,” Riley said. 

Tessa nodded. “I’m too defensive. I was trying to protect myself from people I thought were the popular crew. People I didn’t even take the chance to know. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be such a mean person anymore."

“So don’t."

“But...what if I can’t change?” Tessa asked. “I mean everything thinks I’m the worst, for good reason, so doesn’t that mean it's true?”

Riley pulled a strand of hair from Tessa’s head. 

“Uh, ouch!” 

“I’ve had enough of this pity party,” Riley replied. “Now you realize you were a tool and want to change, right?”

“That’s what I just said, yeah,” Tessa replied. 

“Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it,” Riley replied. “You just have to try, and I’m sure the others will see that you’re not the same person.”

“You really think so?” Tessa asked. “Then...how can I apologize to Lita? I think of everyone here I was the worst to her…”

Riley shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe make her a card?”

Tessa raised her eyebrows. “A card?”

“I don’t have all the answers,” Riley replied. “We’ll figure it out. Just know that right now, you’ve got a friend Sweet T.”

Tessa hugged Riley. “Thanks Riley! You really are the best.”

“I’ve been told that before."


In the hallway, Diamonique walked through the halls, deep in thought. “Now where was my room?”

“Hey Diamonique.”

Diamonique turned her head and smiled. “Well, if it isn’t my good friend Kalino.”

The surfer forced a laugh. “Hey, glad to have you back.”

“How sweet,” Diamonique replied. “It's a shame I got eliminated somehow, huh?”

Kalino looked down. “I just wanted to ask something, if I can.”

“Sure Kalino, old buddy, old pal.”

“So all the losers are sequestered together,” Kalino explained, “you haven’t...talked to Frannie have you?”

“Why?” Diamonique asked. 

Kalino sighed. “I guess she told you how I voted her off, huh?”

“You know she did mention it once or twice,” Diamonique admitted. “What of it?”

“You're her best friend,” Kalino stated, “...do you think Frannie would ever forgive me?”

“Would you?” Diamonique asked.

“Honestly...yeah,” Kalino admitted. “I’m not one to hold a grudge. But I broke her trust...I don’t know if that can heal.”

Diamonique shrugged. “I don’t know. I can say, I don’t hold grudges either.” 

Kalino raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. What do you mean?”

“I’m saying, you’re somebody who cares about Frannie,” Diamonique stated. “Someone who seems regretful of what he did. Rumor is, you made some sort of promise for her. The same promise I’ve made to her; that if I win I’ll save her circus. That’s someone I wouldn’t mind getting far.” 

“Are you proposing an alliance?” Kalino asked. 

“Are you interested?” Diamonique asked. 

“Kalino scratched his soul patch. “Uuh, yeah sure! If you’re for it. We could work well together.”

Diamonique and Kalino shook hands. 


“I don’t trust Kalino as far as I can throw him,” Diamonique admitted. “And I could throw him really far, maybe a whole block or two. I know what that snake did to me and Frannie; I plan on cutting the head of the snake. But as they say, ‘keep your friends close...and keep your enemies closer.’ So I will for the time being...but I won’t let him in the final two. No, I have someone else in mind…”


Diamonique knocked on a door again and again, until it was answered. 

“Ignacio isn’t here,” Jasper stated. 

“I’m sure that stud wants to see me,” Diamonique replied. “However, I’m here for you.”

Once again, Diamonique pushed her way into a room and slammed the door behind her. 

“Diamonique?” the guy asked. 

“That’s my name,” Diamonique replied. “Yours is Jasper.”

“Yeah...it is. You know that?”

Diamonique nodded. “I’m not going to forget it. We’re a lot alike Jasper. We’re the first ones our teams decided needed to lose. We’re the only ones who really need this second chance.”

“What about Tessa?” Jasper asked. “I don’t like her, but she was an early out too…”

“You mean the girl who got a second chance at the expense of yours?” Diamonique asked. “The girl who production chose personally cause she’s so special? She’s the worst; I don’t have any sympathy for her.”

“I don’t either,” Jasper replied. “She deserves to be here the least...but I guess I don’t really deserve to be here then. I didn’t earn it.”

“You deserve it,” Diamonique replied. “We both do. We were wrongfully voted out.”

Jasper rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t know about that. Maybe I was the first boot for a reason.”

Diamonique titled her head. “Remind me, who won the Fireworks their tie breaking point in the endurance test? Which without, they would have lost the first challenge. Who was the only reason they had a chance against the Eagles?”

“That...that was me,” Jasper said. “I won that point! I tied it!”

“You’re the whole reason we had a tiebreaker Jasper,” Diamonique stated. “Without you, the beginning of the game would be so different. The entire course of this show would be changed!”

“You remember I won that?” Jasper asked. 

“Of course,” Diamonique replied. “It's the same with me. Who won the Eagles the advantage of an extra point, and won the puzzle challenge in record time? Me. Did our teams remember our successes? No. They only remembered us when it was time to vote someone off.”

“It wasn’t fair!” Jasper shouted. “I always gave my best in the challenges! I got far in the Awake-a-thon, not that any noticed. I made the tiebreaker! Yet they voted me out for being a weak link...it wasn’t fair.”

Diamonique nodded. “It wasn’t fair. They all saw us as weak links and losers. Even when we proved them wrong, they wouldn’t change their minds. We were only cannon fodder to them. Clowns to be laughed at, then shooed away when things got serious.”

“Did you hear them at dinner?” Jasper asked. “They talked about everyone who went home...everyone but me.” 

“They thought they could forget about you,” Diamonique stated. “They thought you didn’t matter anymore. They’re wrong. You’re special Jasper.”

“Me?” Jasper asked. “Special?”

“Of course,” Diamonique replied. “Don’t you see? They need you know. They need us both. The Eagles and The Fireworks are at a stalemate. They need our votes to get a majority. Their fates are entirely in our hands. We control who goes home now.”

“I never thought of it like that,” Jasper admitted. 

“They can’t forget about us now,” Diamonique stated. “But we need each other Jasper. We’re the only ones who know what it feels like to be forgotten and tossed aside. We need to form an alliance.” 

“An alliance?” Jasper asked. “I don’t know about that. It feels shady.”

“What don’t you know?” Diamonique asked. “Aren’t you tired of being mistreated?”

“I mean-”

“-Aren’t you tired of being underestimated?”

“I guess I am…”

“Aren’t you tired of being underappreciated?”

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you tired of being looked down upon?”

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you tired of being forgotten?”

“Yes.”

“Of no one remembering you? Of being tossed aside?”

“Yeah, yes. Yes!”

“Of no one caring about you? Of being a reject, a loser, a nobody!”

“Yes! Yes!” 

“Then let’s change that,” Diamonique said. “Let’s make the final two.”

“You want to go with me to the final two?” Jasper asked. 

“You’re the only one I want to go with Jasper,” Diamonique replied. 

“Why?”

Diamonique chuckled. “I want to see them choke when they see the final two are the ‘early outs’. I want them to be beaten by the ‘pathetic creatures’ they’ve tossed aside.”

Jasper gulped. “You’ve a...really thought about this, huh Diamonique?”

Diamonique sighed and fell against the bed. She ran her fingers against the scars on her forehead. “I’m tired too Jasper. At Playa Des Losers, I had a lot of time to think. I realized this game went just like life.”

“What do you mean?” Jasper asked. 

“I don’t know if you noticed but I’m not always smart,” Diamonique said. “So people think I’m an fool. That I’m some dumb blonde! I’m not even a natural blonde! My hair just looks really good this way.”

“Is this all about your hair?” Jasper asked. 

“No,” Diamonique sighed. “This is about how the world sees us; the same way the people on this show saw us and the viewers probably saw us. We were just minor losers to them. Not that shocking, not that missed. I’ve always been overlooked in my life. I realized when we came back, you have too. People just see us as an idiot and a nobody.”

“That’s my life,” Jasper stated. 

"I’m not having it anymore.”

“Then...let’s make the final two!” Jasper stated, striking a heroic pose. “Um...if you really think we can?”

Diamonique laughed. “I’m positive.” 


In her office, Rhonda watched the cameras, smiling to herself. “This went better than I expected. I can salvage this show yet...especially with tomorrow’s special guests….hehehe...

Chapter 15 Wheel With The Devil[]

In a broom closet, a makeshift bed made from covers was sprawled across the floor. Rhonda stood beside it, her clothes on hangers holding onto pipes. Papers were scattered here and there. 

A mirror hung from one pipe. She looked at herself in the mirror, studying her face. A knock was heard at the door. 

“Come in.” 

Toby entered. “Hey, you ready? Our guests have arrived.”

“Good, good,” Rhonda replied. She didn’t look away from the mirror. 

Toby stares at her. “Are you…never mind.”

“Huh?”

“Are you okay?” Toby asked. 

Rhonda smiled. “I’m better than okay. Didn’t you hear the latest ratings? We’ve made a huge incline; we’re stable. We’re even doing better than Canada.”

“You mean North Mexico?” Toby asked. 

Rhonda nodded. “To think earlier this summer I was in Canada, co-hosting their latest season as a requirement to host the American reboot. Waiting hand and foot on that egotistical producer Zac…now my show is crushing his. Who doesn’t know how to host now Zac?” 

“Was it really that bad?” Toby asked. 

“Well, this intern I worked with was cool,” Rhonda stated. “Mana...I hope he’s okay. And I guess…I didn’t hate Zac at first. I thought we were friends…and maybe he was right about what it takes to be a host. But I’m not the ugly duckling he thinks I am.” 

“Who cares what he thinks,” Toby stated. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Rhonda replied. “The point is, after all the hoops I had to jump through…after what I had to give up, I’m here. I made it. It was all worth it.”

“I guess so,” Toby said with a shrug.

“I mean don’t get me wrong,” Rhonda stated. “I couldn’t have done it without you or Jenny. You guys were right here with me.”

Toby turned away. “It’s not like we had anything better to do.” 

Rhonda laughed. “That’s true. Still, you have to feel good about this, right? We actually made the merge, on primetime, with good ratings!”

“I don’t feel good,” Toby replied. “I don’t feel anything. This is just another reality show, and it's not turning out how we planned either.” 

“This isn’t any old show,” Rhonda stated. “Its Total Drama! The phenomenon! My favorite show from growing up. And we’re actually doing it, we’re hosting it.”

“Is that why you did this?” Toby asked. “I mean after what happened with you and this show, I guess…”

“What?” Rhonda asked. “The Canadian season wasn’t going to make me quit, although they did want me to continue co-hosting.”

Toby shook his head. “No, I mean before that. With what happened then…why do it again? Why subject yourself to this humiliation. Why…”

Rhonda’s mirror fell off the pipe and shattered on the ground. 

“That doesn’t count for seven years of bad luck, does it?” Rhonda asked. 

“I’ll sweep it,” Toby stated. “Get out there; the newcomers should meet you at the stage in a few minutes.”

Rhonda nodded. She walked out the doorway and stopped for a moment, before shaking her head and walking off. From the corner of his eye, Toby watched her. 


At the theatre, the newcomers gathered on top of the stage. They noticed a group of wooden bleachers to the right, but worrying about a trap, stood to the side. 

Weston tried to peek behind the curtain, but was swatted away by Jenny’s hand. 

Rhonda ran out, dressing in a yellow evening gown. It was fancier than what she usually wore, but the yellow was bright and gaudy, and looked tackier then she probably realized. 

“Morning everyone!” Rhonda greeted. “Who’s ready for the first challenge of the merge!”

“Woo!” Riley cheered. She was the only one to do so.

"Before we get to that," Rhonda said. "I have a surprise! It’s the reward for the winner of this challenge!”

“You mean there’s more besides the room and hot butler?” Ness asked, blushing as she realized what she said. 

Rhonda nodded. “Much more. I figured with a challenge like this, we should have a live audience so-

“-you sold tickets for it like the other challenge?” Weston asked. 

Rhonda facepalmed. “Crap, why didn’t I think of that?” 

“Before we die from suspense, from what I’m sure will totally not suck, could you explain what you have planned already?” Tessa asked. 

“Like I said, we wanted a live audience,” Rhonda stated. “But more than that…recently some of you had the chance to talk to your loved ones. That touched my heart… it touched all our hearts. Which is why, your friends, family and old acquaintances…are here.”

“Wait…whattttt?” Kalino asked. 

Melissa gasped. “Really?  Truly and really Ms. Rhonda?” 

Vance’s eyes grew wide. “You don’t mean…”

“Behind this curtain are you loved ones!” Rhonda announced. “After all this time, you have the chance to get a little love. Are you ready?”

The newcomers reacted with a mix of cheers and looks of horror. 

“So who’s first?” Rhonda asked. 

Melissa jumped in place. “Ooh! Ooh! Me please! I mean, if everyone doesn’t mind…”

Rhonda smirked. “Melissa’s loved one…come on out!” 

Melissa clapped while jumping at the same time. “I’m so excited to see my mom!”

“Well prepare to be disappointed…”

From behind stage a short teenage girl walked out. She seemed to resemble Melissa physically. At the same time, she wore black clothing, had teal streaks in her hair and wore heavy eyeliner. “It's your younger sister Beatrice!”

Melissa squealed, running up and glomping her sister. “Eeeee! This is just as good. I missed you Bea! How have you been?”

“Fine,” Beatrice replied. “I still live in Washington; it’s not like I won’t see you again.”

“You look wonderful!” Melissa stated, tightening her hug around her sister. “I love your new hair. You’re rocking the goth look!”

“I’m not goth anymore,” Beatrice stated. “That was like ages ago; I’m punk now.”

“That’s so cute Bea,” Melissa replied. 

Beatrice groaned. “Oh my godddddddd, you never understand me.”


“My sister is really sweet,” Melissa stated. “She can be a little...dramatic, but she is teenager just trying to fit in. I know I was weird as a teenager...or am. I’m just happy to see her! I’m sure the others feel the same about their family members too!”


“Lita, you’re next,” Rhonda stated. ”You have two members who came to see you...your mom and your brother Roscoe!”

Lita gasped and started to tear up. From behind the curtain, a heavy set African American woman walked out. Her face showed a lot of age, as did her brown eyes. In front of her she pushed a young boy, about twelve years old, in a wheelchair. 

Lita ran forward and hugged the boy. “Oh my god Roscoe! I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I’m here for you sis,” Roscoe laughed. “You didn’t think I was going to miss you kick butt, did you? You are gonna kick butt right?”

“Of course,” Lita laughed. “Anything for my little brother.”


“So...I insulted her mother,” Tessa recalled. “And her brother, saying they’re probably messed up. Her brother... who is in a wheelchair…”

Tessa beats her head against the wall.


“Next we have Xidorn…and Xidorn’s dad!” Rhonda stated. 

Xidorn raised an eyebrow. “My father?”

A middle aged Vietnamese man walked out from backstage. He was overweight and slightly balding. He wore glasses and had a dark beard. He smiled and waved a little at Xidorn.

“It's good to see you son,” the man stated. 

“Uh, good to see you dad,” Xidorn replied. “How have you been?”

“Ooh, you know...good,” Xidorn’s father replied. “You?”

“Yeah...I’ve been good,” Xidorn replied.

Xidorn’s dad shuffled up to him. He stood there for a few moments, then went in for a hug with the unexpected Xidorn. After a confused moment, he hugged him back. 


“It's not that I’m not happy to see my dad,” Xidorn explained. “To be honest, I’m just shocked to see him here. Or giving hugs; he doesn’t like to express feelings very much. We don’t really have the best relationship. He doesn’t really get me…”


“Not the heartwarming reunion I was going for,” Rhonda stated, “but I’ll take it. Now then who’s next…”

“You should totally do Riley,” a voice loudly whispered from backstage. 

“Woah, is that my brother Pat?” Riley asked. 

“No, no it isn’t,” Rhonda stated. “Pay no attention to the voice from behind the curtain…”

“Pat are you back there?” Riley asked.

“Uhh...no I’m not. My name is…Mat.”

Rhonda facepalmed. “Just come on out Pat.”

Running out from backstage looked like an older, male version of Riley; tall, dark skinned, half of his head shaved, lip, nose and ear piercings here and there and sleeve tattoos on both arms. He picked up Riley in his arms and squeezed her tight. “Riley! Oh I missed you sooooooo much man. I can’t believe it! I swore you look so grown up and junk...did you grow any?”

Riley chuckled. “No Pat! I missed you too Scarlett Bro’hara. You got to meet my peeps! This is Loch Ness, Lightning Lita, Iggy Pop and Gris Bear…you can put me down now Pat.”

Pat squeezed her tight. “Nope, not happening.” 

“Diamonique we have two special guests here for you,” Rhonda stated. “Your mother and father!”

Out from backstage walked a man and woman in their mid-forties. They looked like typical upper-class suburban people, wearing designer white clothes. Both had light blonde hair, pale blue eyes and pale skin. The father wore a small cowboy hat.

“Those are Diamonique’s parents?” Weston whispered. “Hmm...I can see it.”

“You can?” Ness whispered. 

“They all have blond hair,” Weston replied. “Hair color is serendipity after all.”

“You mean hereditary?” Ness asked.

“Ooh, cause of their hair,” Weston said with a wink. 

“Oh my stars,” Diamonique’s mother cheered, hugging her daughter. “Our little diamond. We missed you so much sweetie. Are you okay, we were so worried!”

“Psh, I’m fine,” Diamonique replied. 

“Are you sure?” Diamonique’s father asked, joining in the hug. “They’ve been feeding you good, haven’t they?” 

Diamonique shrugged. “I mean, it’s been alright…”

Diamonique’s parents gasped, her father almost fainting in her mother’s hands. They pulled their daughter in for another hug.


“Yeah,” Diamonique stated in a close up, “My parents are a little smothering, but I like it. They own like…fifty fast food joints in my town, so we’re basically loaded. Plus, I get all the free Mickey D’s I want. They’ve been good to me ever since they adopted me. And I’ve been the perfect daughter to them.”

The camera zoomed out, revealing Diamonique’s parents still hugging her. “She sure is!”


“Now Weston,” Rhonda stated. “Last time we talked to loved ones, you had to miss out.” 

“Yeah,” Weston sighed. “Is that the case this time?”

“No,” Rhonda stated. “No it is not.”

Weston gasped. “You mean my mom or dad are here?” 

“Not them…”

From behind the stage, Easton walked out. He crossed his arms. 

“Easton!” Riley cheered.

“My man!” Griswold hollered. 

Weston pouted. “Aww come on! I just got rid of him!” 

“You didn’t do anything,” Easton replied. “If I recall, I beat you every time we faced each other in challenges.” 

“If I recall, you were still voted off by your team,” Kalino stated. “Meaning Weston still placed better than you.”

Weston smiled at Kalino, who replied with a finger pistol and wink.

“We were going to bring in your parents,” Rhonda stated, “but this was cheaper.” 

“You wasted your time,” Weston said. “I don’t want to see him.” 

“And I didn’t want to see you,” Easton replied. “I’m just here to cheer on my bros...and watch you lose.”

The two twins shot each other glares, before Easton took his seat in the audience. 

“You know with time I thought it would get better,” Griswold stated. “It actually got worse. Wow.” 

“Let’s move on,” Rhonda stated. “Tessa...there is actually someone here who wants to see you.”

Walking out from backstage was a tall, Indian girl in a sparkling red dress. She forced a smile, but didn’t look directly at Tessa.

“Eeeee!” Tessa squealed.

She ran forward to embrace her friend, but fell on her face as her friend stepped to the side. 

“I’m so happy to see you Ashley,” Tessa mumbled on the floor. 

“Uh, yeah,” Ashley replied. 


“Ashley is my best friend,” Tessa stated. “And I guess...she’s my only friend. We met at the Olympics, she’s an ice skater for the US. Super talented, definitely deserves better than that silver medal. That stupid judge and its crossed eyes didn’t know jack squat.”


“Ignacio,” Rhonda stated. “Are you ready to see your loved one?”

Ignacio smiled and step forward. “Yes! Ooh, who is it? My mom? My dad? Both? My siblings?”

“Let’s find out,” Rhonda replied. “Come on out!”

Ignacio’s smile immediately dropped. A beautiful Hispanic girl stepped out, strutting up in her high heels to the male model. She shot him a glare. “Surprise.”

“Carla!” Ignacio yelped. “What are you...doing here?”

“Its nice to see you too Ignacio,” she replied. 

“Who is Carla?” Vance asked.

“I’m Ignacio’s ex-girlfriend,” Carla stated. “And I’ve been watching the show, seeing him form a new little harem just after we broke up. So not humiliating to hear you talk about me while flirting on national television.” 

“Hey,” Ness said. “Ignacio isn’t flirting-”

Carla shot a death glare at the jinx, who immediately gulped. “I mean, mud wrestling, flashing, stripping every second you get...I always knew you were a pervert Ignacio.”

“Carla please,” Ignacio stated. “I would never try to hurt you. I-”

“-I’m not hurt,” Carla replied. “Just shamed. So thanks for that.” 

She stomped off stage to sit with the other loved ones in the audience, ‘accidentally’ stepping on Ignacio’s foot in the process.

“Aww so sweet,” Rhonda laughed. “So, who wants to go next?” 

Griswold was the only one to raise his hand, while the other five stepped back. 

“Am I going to regret this?” Griswold asked. 

Rhonda shrugged. “Who knows? Who do you think is here?”

Griswold scratched his chin. “Well, you had me chat to my football team...so one of them? My football captain?” 

“Uh, wrong!”

“Super wrong!”

Walking out from behind the curtain were identical twin girls, around ten years old. They wore matching pink dresses, and had their hair in pigtails with bows. They had brown hair, the same color as Griswold’s. 

“Haylee! Kaylee!” Griswold cheered, he scooped the two girls up into a big bear hug. 

“Now who are these little angels?” Rhonda asked. 

The two girls spit on Rhonda’s face. 

“Kaylee, Haylee, that wasn’t very nice,” Griswold stated. 

“But Gris,” Haylee said, “we just wanted to show you how far we can spit!”

“Yeah, we’ve been practicing!” Kaylee stated. “Don’t you think we did good?” 

Griswold sat them down and rustled their hair. “Aww, I can’t stay mad at you two. Your spitting was amazing!”

Rhonda wiped her face on her arm. “Yeah, amazing. You two can sit down now.” 

The two girls gave Griswold a kiss on each cheek, then blew a raspberry to Rhonda before taking their seats. 

“Now let’s see,” Rhonda said. “Our next lucky newcomer is...Ness.”


“The best case scenario is its my older brother,” Ness stated. “It probably wouldn’t be though, cause he wouldn’t want people to know we’re related...like how he pretends he doesn’t know me at school. It’s best for his safety really…”


Coming out from stage left was a young, Adonis of a man. Even his blonde hair was perfectly styled. 

“It’s your stepdad Markie!” 

Ness blushed. “Well that’s alright. It could-”

“Ness!”

“-And your dad, Richard.”

Walking right behind Markie was an older man, in his mid-forties, with darker brown hair. He was in pretty good shape for his age. He had a long beard and mustache combo. 

“Woah,” Weston stated. “Ness’ dad is a male cougar.” 

Markie ran up and crushed Ness into a headlock with one of his biceps. He gave her a noogie on her head. “How’s my stepdaughter who is also my best friend?”

“Running...out of...air,” Ness gasped. 

Markie set her down, and she tried to breathe again.

“Hey Markie,” Ness greeted in-between pants. “Good to see you too.”

“Aww come on Ness,” Markie laughed. “You can call me dad, or best friend, or best friend dad!”

Richard walked behind him and forced a smile. “Wow Ness...I’m so amazed you here.”

Ness hugged her father. “Hey dad.”

“I honestly thought you’d be the first boot,” Richard admitted. “It might have been safer if you actually were.” 

“Thanks dad,” Ness sighed. “But I really am fine. I’ve been...okay out here.”

Richard shook his head. “Really?”

Markie shot Richard a look. “We’re just worried. Remember the last time you spent the night away...besides overnight at the hospital.”

“Please don’t keep going,” Ness begged. 

“Oh it wasn’t a big deal,” Markie replied. “So you peed your pants at camp when you were eleven. You just missed home!”

Ness couldn’t hide how red her face was in her hands. 

“We’re not trying to embarrass you dear,” Richard said. “You just have a knack for...you know.”

“We brought extra underoos for you,” Markie stated. 

“Well that ain’t necessary,” Lita stated. “Because she hasn’t peed the bed. She has been killing it on this show.”

“Literally?” Richard sighed. “Is another environmental rights group trying to sue you for the injuries animals get while attacking you?”

“I meant she’s been doing amazing on the show,” Lita said. 

“Who are you?” Markie asked. 

Lita stared Markie down. “I’m Ness’ bestest best friend ever. And her roommate.”

“Uh, sure you are…” Markie replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Please just go sit with the others,” Ness stated. “We’ll catch up later.”

“But what about your extra underwear?” Markie asked. “We bought it special for you, along with some new rash ointments…”

Later.” Ness stated. 

The two dads nodded and departed. 

“Just say the word,” Lita whispered. “And I’ll punch Markie is in his stupid, perfectly sculpted jaw.”

“It is perfect, isn’t it?” Ignacio pondered. 

“I think this is a torture far worse than the actual challenge,” Ness admitted. 

“It’s not over yet,” Rhonda stated. “We have one last special guest…”

Walking out from backstage, was a young woman, slightly older than the teens, dressed in a black sweater neatly tucked into her cargo pants, her black hair done up in a bun. She walked with her nose held in the air, adjusting her thick frames as she stared down her brother. 

“Iolana,” Kalino stated.

“Surprised to see me baby brother,” Iolana stated. 

“Hardly,” Kalino replied. “Mom and dad are too busy, and it's just like you to stick your nose in here. Especially since they cast me for the show, instead of you.” 

“You and your sister auditioned for the show?” Xidorn asked.

“More like I auditioned and Kalino decided to copy me,” Iolana said. “He’s never had an original idea in his life.”

Kalino shrugged. “They still cast me over you.”

“Every show needs a heathen,” Iolana stated. “You know, someone for the audience to laugh at their misfortune. For once you’ve actually done an amazing job; I’ve been watching.”

Iolana sauntered off the stage with a satisfied smirk. 

“Don’t worry bud,” Vance whispered. “She’s obviously jealous.”

“And crazy,” Kalino growled.

“I feel you,” Vance replied. “Older sisters suck.” 

“I don’t know about all of you,” Rhonda started, “but my heart has been warmed. Unfortunately I have some bad news for you three. We-”

Jenny rushed out from behind the curtain. She whispered into Rhonda’s ear, whose eyes grew huge. She gulped as Jenny darted away. 

“Ooh dear lord...I mean good news,” Rhonda stated. “We were actually able to find a loved one for you Cynthia...or they found us. So let’s meet your...your...your…”

“My mother,” Cynthia stated, as if she had been expecting this news. 

A collective gasp quietly wheezed out of the contestants throats, the color running from their face. Despair hung over the entire room like an albatross around their neck. Fear had taken hold of everyone.

Except Melissa, who cheered. “Ooh! This is so exciting!”

“Oh no,” Weston sighed. “Isn’t it too early for me to meet her parents?”

“Don’t worry Weston,” Melissa stated. “I’m sure Cynthia’s parents are just like her.”

“That’s why I’m afraid,” Weston whispered. 

The curtains rustled for a moment, being pushed back and forth. “Cynthia...” 

“Hello mother.” 

A figure stepped out. 

“Eeeeeee!” Cynthia’s mother squealed, glomping her daughter in a big hug. 

“Wait...what?” Rhonda asked. 

Cynthia’s mother had white hair, just like Cynthia’s hair. She looked young, wearing a floral dress and a pink apron with kittens decorating it. She carried a heart shaped handbag with smiling, baby angels winking in the middle. The woman beamed a bright smile as she hugged Cynthia. She was like a 1950s sitcom mom.

“That’s...that’s your mom Cynthia?” Xidorn asked. 

“Teehee,” Cynthia’s mom giggled. “The resemblance is uncanny, huh?”

“Uh...no,” Xidorn stated. “Not at all.”

“You do have a similar face structure,” Ignacio admitted. “Minus the whole expressiveness of your face. Your hair is the same color as well…”

Cynthia’s mom pouted. “I know! My poor Cynthy Winthy gets it from me. Our hair got white prematurely; runs in our family. I’m sure you kids already know that of course.” 

“I for sure didn’t think it was because of blood magic,” Vance stated. 

Cynthia’s mother pinched her daughter's cheek. “How is my frosted cupcake?”

“Fine,” Cynthia replied. 

“That’s my little girl,” Cynthia’s mom stated. “Always such a trooper. Which reminds me, would you kids like any lemon squares?”

From her handbag, Cynthia’s mother pulled out a china plate covered in tinfoil. She removed it, releasing the scent of fresh baked goods. 

“I would love some,” Melissa cheered. “I bake all the time actually, but can never get good lemon squares.”

“There my specialty,” Cynthia’s mom replied. “But I try to bake everything, haha. Would the rest of you kids like some?”

“Uhh...what’s in them?” Kalino asked. 

“Oh,” Cynthia’s mother stated. “Well, there are lemons from the little lemon tree in my grove. Then lots of sugar, a wee bit of cinnamon, and my secret ingredient...love.”

Kalino stared at this woman and her plate of lemon squares. “I’m still terrified of you.” 

“Huh?” Cynthia’s mom asked. 

“Mmmm,” Melissa sighed. “These are scrumptiously amazing! You’ll have to share the recipe with me; we use a lot of the same ingredients.”

The two shared a laugh, that sounded almost the same. 

“Cynthia, are you friends with this sweetheart?” her mother asked. 

“We’re actually BFFFLs!” Melissa replied.

“Awwww,” Cynthia’s mom sighed. “That’s so adorable!”

“Thank you for coming woman who claims to be Cynthia’s mom,” Rhonda stated. “If you would, have a seat in the audience.”

Yes mam,” Cynthia’s mom replied. She blew a kiss to Cynthia. “That’s for good luck Cynthy Winthy! You don’t need it, but I still want you to have it because I love you.”

“She’s somehow more scary then I could even imagine,” Kalino stated. 


Rhonda cleared her throat. “Now as I was saying, Johnson and Vance. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get any loved ones to be here for you.” 

Jasper sighed, but Vance sighed in relief. 

“My parents couldn’t make it, could they?” Jasper asked. 

Rhonda shook her head. “They said they already had plans today.”

“Did they say anything else?” Jasper asked. 

“No,” Rhonda replied. 

“I thought so,” Jasper said. 

“We tried to get your brother to attend,” Rhonda said. “Really, really, bad. But despite all the effort, we couldn’t find an opening in his schedule. His manager said he was very busy.” 

Jasper shrugged. 

“As for you Vance,” Rhonda stated. “We tried to find a loved one for you...but we couldn’t get in contact with any of your family members. The rodeo has a show going on, so no one could come from there either.”

“Yeah, we don’t have telephones on the ranch,” Vance explained. “So you probably couldn’t get in touch with my folks. That’s what happened.”

Rhonda shakes her head. “Actually when we-”

“-That’s what happened,” Vance stated. 

“Okay,” Rhonda replied. “Well, then let’s get started!”

Most of the audience clapped. The newcomers took their seats on the bleachers. 

“Today’s challenge will be a classic from the first season,” Rhonda stated. “In fact, it’s the first merge challenge in the history of the Total Drama franchise! This is a rite of passage for you all. The Wheel Of Misfortune!”

The newcomers cringed as a roulette wheel rose from under the stage. It was divided into several sections, each showing a symbol of some sort, from banana peels to pearl necklaces to mountains. They were all different, except for five sections that each depicted a pentagram star. 

“Is this challenge bad?” Lita asked. 

“If you consider a wheel of tortures bad,” Xidorn stated, “then yes.”

Lita frowned. “Is there someone who doesn’t?” 

“As you may recall,” Rhonda said, “the rules for the Wheel of Misfortune are simple; a player spends the wheel and must endure or complete the torture they land on. If you succeed, you pass the round. If you fail, you’re out of the challenge. Simple?” 

The others nodded. 

“Good,” Rhonda stated. “Now there are a few differences with this version than the original. First, is a new rule; if you happen to spin the wheel and land on a torture you’ve already done, you can choose to skip your turn or spin again.”

Tessa raised an eyebrow. “Why would you spin again?”

“If it comes down to it,” Rhonda explained, “the newcomer that completes all the tortures first wins. I’ll be honest that there are a lot of them, so we probably won’t go that long. But just in case, we have that as a backup. A person who does skip their turn will have to go early next round.”

“What order are we going in?” Griswold asked. 

“I’ll randomly pick who goes except for those exceptions,” Rhonda admitted. 

“I honestly hate to ask,” Xidorn admitted, “but in the original version you could force someone else to complete a torture. Is that still true?” 

“Sharp memory Xidorn,” Rhonda stated. “That’s true, and you can force someone else to do a torture. But the rules are a little different. You’ll notice that like our hotel, this wheel has five stars. If you land on a star, you can force any other newcomer to do any torture. Your choice.

"If you chose someone who hasn’t gone yet, they’ll have to complete your torture, and another for this round. You can even choose someone who skipped. However, if they succeed in beating your torture, you’re out. They’ll also get their next spin towards the end of the next round.”

Rhonda eyed the newcomers carefully. “Now let’s see who's first. Eenie...meenie...minie...Ness.”

Ness gulped as she took a step forward. She peered out into the audience, seeing her father Richard shaking his head. She approached the wheel and tried to spin it, but it only spun a little ways. She landed on an apple. 

“Is that bad?” Ness asked.

“It’s actually something easy to start us off with,” Rhonda replied. “You’ll be bobbing for apples!”

From an array of buttons installed on her podium, Rhonda pressed a red button. A large basin rose out of the stage, with green, red and yellow apples floating at the top.

“Using only your mouth, gather three apples in one minute,” Rhonda explained. 

“That’s not a torture,” Ness replied.

“It is if you hate applies,” Rhonda countered. 

Ness approached the basin. Taking a loose strand of hair, she dunked it in the water like a fishing pole...till a long creature ate it. 

“Eek!" Ness screamed. “Is that another electric eel?”

“It’s actually a slime eel,” Rhonda replied. “More commonly known as the hagfish.”

“Are they dangerous?” Ness asked.

“They usually only eat carrions,” Ignacio said from the stands. “Dead things. Their main defense is the slime they secrete that-”

“Quiet from the peanut gallery,” Rhonda yelled. “Ignacio is right, they usually tear chunks from corpses...but these little guys are hungrier for fresher meat. Your time starts now.”

Ness gulped, grabbing her hair by its end before submerging her face into the water. She pulled out an apple then went back for another. From the stands, her stepdad covered his eyes.

“Thirty seconds left,” Rhonda announced as Ness got a second apple. She dove for a third, but coughed out a hagfish. Slime covered her lips and chin. She tried for a third, but it slipped from the slime. 

“Ten seconds!” Rhonda announced.

Ness dove back in and started to pull out a hagfish...

“And it looks like Ness has-”

...that was biting into an apple. 

“-won the challenge?” the hostess asked.

“Yesss!” Lita cheered.

The audience clapped, as Markie and Richard shared a look. 

“I did it!” Ness giggled. “Thanks little guy. Now let’s get you back in here…”

The hagfish hissed, biting Ness’ finger before diving back into the basin.

I was hoping for an easy loss to start,” Rhonda thought. “But these kids might making things interesting.

Lita and Ness high-fived as she took her seat. “I know you could do it girl.”


“Next we’ll have...Jonah Jameson,” Rhonda stated.

Jasper sighed and spun the wheel. “At least she remembered I was a contestant…”

The wheel stopped and landed on a coal. A pathway of hot coals surfaced from under the stage. They crinkled and burned bright.

“You have a minute to walk this entire path of burning hot coals barefoot,” Rhonda explained. “If you jump off even once, you fail.”

Jasper nodded, tossing off his shoes. He reached the starting line and began crossing the coals at a slow pace. With a blank look and a steady pace, he walked across just before the timer ended. 

“Ouch,” Jasper said, rubbing his feet.

“Dude,” Riley stated. 

“How did he walk across that?” Kalino asked. “Also, who is that?” 

“Didn’t that hurt?” Rhonda asked.

“Yeah,” Jasper replied. “That’s why I said ouch.”

Rhonda stared dumbfounded. “Well...you passed somehow. I guess we go on…”


“Yeah, the coals hurt,” Jasper said. “They were burning hot so...they burned. But honestly I was kinda distracted that so many people were watching me. The last time that many people noticed me was at the movies when someone finally realized I wasn’t actually a chair.”


Diamonique approached the wheel now. She gave it a hard spin, and it landed on a mountain.

“For your challenge Diamonique,” Rhonda explained, “you’ll have a minute to try and ring a bell at the top of a rock climbing wall.”

An extremely tall rock climbing wall rose up from the ground. At the tip was a tiny bell. A harness was attached, along with a corresponding helmet. 

“Oh, and be sure to watch out for any earthquakes when you-”

“Uhhh!” Diamonique screamed. She stepped back, then charged forward and knocked against the wall with all of her weight. She backed up again and threw herself against the wall again. The wall toppled over, almost hitting the other newcomers. Diamonique stomped over and kicked the bell at the end. 

“Done,” Diamonique replied with a hair flip.

“You didn’t even climb the wall,” Vance said.

“That wasn’t a rule,” Diamonique replied. “Just to ring the bell.”

“I’ll allow it,” Rhonda stated. “But none of the rest of you can knock it down. Otherwise it won’t last.”

“That’s our girl!” Diamonique’s mom cheered from the audience. 


“Diamonique isn’t the brightest,” her father admitted. “Sometimes she can be pretty clever, especially when it’s finding ways to do less work.”

“But we know she’s talented,” Diamonique’s mother added. “We want everyone to see it. And we especially don’t want Diamonique to believe she isn’t talented because of the hardships she’s had to face or how...unique she is.”


Kalino approached the wheel next. He barely gave it a spin, actually slumping backwards and landing on red ropes. 

“I’m excited for this one,” Rhonda admitted. “For this one, you’ll be running a gauntlet.”

“One of those big punchy fist things?” Kalino asked. 

“Hardly,” Iolana shouted from the crowd. “A gauntlet is also a term for getting through a dangerous crowd. Historically, the military had a soldier run past two lines of men who would flog the runner with sticks.”

“So I’m going to get flogged for this torture?” Kalino asked. 

“No,” Rhonda replied. “But you will have a minute to run past two lines of…”

Now appearing was a group of rabid, Total Drama fangirls. They were separated into two lines by red velvet ropes that could hardly contain them. They screamed and shouted, a few even fainting, as they saw the newcomers.

“...some our most ‘excited fans’.”

“I would have preferred the flogging,” Iolana whispered. 

“Eeee!” a fangirl squealed. “Kalino is coming! He’s like my dream guy”

“Omg me too,” another fangirl agreed. “I’m so attracted to guys who act bad because their damaged that I can try to fix.”

“Uhh...I just meant cause he was cute and wears an open shirt,” the other fangirl replied. 

“Remember fans,” Rhonda stated, “any clothes, personal objects or hair you snag, you get to keep! Kalino you have one minute.”

Kalino tried to say something, but was drowned out by squealing. He started running, but soon found himself caught in the arms of the fans. 

“Back off, I want his shirt,” a fangirl growled.

Over your dead body,” another replied. “I’m going to wear his Hawaiian T-shirt before I sleep every night!”

Kalino laughed and slid out of his shirt. “Mannnnn, if you want my clothes, you can have them.”

Iolana groaned and covered her face. “Please tell me he isn’t going to-”

“Ahhhhh!”

Kalino tossed off the rest of his clothes into the crowd, who began dogpiling each other. In the nude again, he dashed forward...most of the fans too embarrassed or busy staring to grab for him. 

“And in just the nick of time Kalino makes it,” Rhonda announced. “Unfortunately, we don’t have time for you to get a change of clothes. So you’ll have to compete naked for the rest of the challenge.”

Kalino gave a thumbs-up. “Sounds choice.” 


“Melissa, you’re next,” Rhonda announced. 

Melissa approached the wheel cautiously, spinning it slowly. It landed on a salad bowl. 

“Eep!” Melissa exclaimed, as she was suddenly sitting in a chair with a table in front of her.

Toby slumped out from backstage wearing a droopy chef’s hat. He sat a covered silver platter in front of Melissa.

“You have one minute to eat today’s special; chef salad al a cafard.”

Toby lifted the tray, revealing a salad crawling with small cockroaches.

“A cockroach salad?” Melissa asked, already trying not to vomit. 

“They're fresh to,” Rhonda said. “Born less than a week ago.” 

Toby set a fork next to her. “You can kill it with the fork or swallow it raw. Either is passable.” 

Melissa stared at the salad. The tiniest cockroach looked up and her and almost waved its antennae. 

“I don’t think I can do it,” Melissa admitted.

“Uggghhhh,” Melissa’s sister groaned. “Don’t be such a wimp for once! They’re just roaches.”

“Roaches are living creatures too,” Melissa replied.

“They only live for like a year or less,” Beatrice said.

“So I should end it prematurely?” Melissa asked. “That doesn’t seem right. Besides, as a Muslim we can’t even eat roaches.”

“Ignore that,” Beatrice replied. “This is a million dollars we’re talking about!”

“We know I don’t have a strong stomach, so I’d probably fail,” Melissa said. “No point in senselessly killing these little sweeties either.”

Melissa grabbed the salad bowl and walked off. Beatrice rolled her eyes in the audience.

“What are you doing with the salad?” Xidorn asked.

“If I leave them, someone else will just eat these precious little garbage dumplings,” Melissa replied.

“We finally have a loser,” Rhonda announced. She pressed a button, causing Melissa to be be placed in wooden stocks. 

“Just like in the original challenge, you’ll be placed in stocks if you’re out. Thankfully the hotel has plenty on hand for us to use. Up next is...Riley.”

“Sweet!” Riley cheered. She spun the wheel. As it landed, Riley’s eyes grew wide and her smile faded.


“I try to be cool about most things,” Riley admitted. “I don’t let a lot get to me; it’s not worth it. But...I am afraid of one thing. Nobody but my brothers know because they were there. When I was seven, I decided to practice my ollies at the zoo. I accidentally fell into an exhibit and was attacked by...by...by…”


The wheel landed on a symbol of an exotic green feather. “Peacocks…”

A large birdcage rose from under the stage. Inside was a male peacock with only one eye. It cawed and raised its tails feathers. 

Riley gulped and shook in place. “What do I...what do I have to do.”

“You have a minute to get inside the cage and gather three feathers from this peacock,” Rhonda stated. “If he’ll let you…”

Riley nodded. Slowly, she shuffled to the cage. As she held out her hand, the peacock screeched. She pulled back her hand and shook in place. “I...I can’t do it.”

“Really?” Rhonda asked. “I kind of expected more from you in this challenge. Oh well then you-”

“Wait!” Griswold announced. “I’ll do it instead.”

Griswold stomped forward, staring down the peacock. “In the original challenge, someone was able to volunteer for someone else. So there should be no rule against me doing the same.”


“I knew something was wrong with the way Riley was acting,” Griswold explained. “She’s cool with most everything, it’s one of the many things that makes her so awesome. I don’t know what’s up with peacocks and her, but I just couldn’t let her give up…”


Rhonda tapped her chin, weighing the idea for a moment. “Fine. If you succeed, Riley stays in. You’ll still have to do another torture this round however. If you fail, Riley and you are out. That is, if Riley allows you to.” 

“Gris Bear you can’t be serious,” Riley stated. “Don’t throw your chances just for me.”

“Trust me,” Griswold replied with a wink.

“Alright,” Riley said, "go for it.” 

Griswold tiptoed to the cage, then threw open the door. He tackled the peacock, the started ripping out feathers. The peacock cried and started pecking his head. The timer buzzed and Griswold stumbled out, two feathers in hand.

“Hold on a second,” Griswold stated. He reached into his pompadour and pulled out a final peacock feather.

“Congratulations,” Rhonda replied. “You both passed...for now.”


“Griswold really saved my bacon today,” Riley admitted. “He was just so amazing with the way he body slammed that foul fowl. Plus, the way he carried that feather out in his cute hairstyle.”

Riley sighed and held her head in her hands. She frowned and her eyes grew wider and wider.

“Oh no...oh crap, crap, crap. I think...I actually might have feelings for Griswold? Stupid teenage hormones!”


“Up next, let’s have Cynthia.”

“You got this cupcake!” her mother cheered from the crowd. 

Cynthia spun the wheel in one fast motion. It slowed down and with a creak, landed on the image of a pearl necklace. The ground under Cynthia shook.

A trench of swampy water opened underneath Cynthia, reaching her knees. It was too cloudy to see through.

“Eww,” Tessa sighed, pinching her nose. “Why does it reek?”

“You sure you’re not smelling yourself?” Lita grumbled.

“You have two minutes to find the pearl necklace in this sewage water imported from New York,” Rhonda said. “Good luck.”

Cynthia slowly started wading through the water with her hands. She yanked, pulling up the pearl necklace...that was wrapped around the tooth of a giant, mutated sewer gator. 

“Did I forget to mention we also got that from New York?” Rhonda asked.

The ginormous gator growled. Cynthia didn’t flinch. Slowly she stepped towards it. It growled again, but Cynthia kept moving. From her pocket she brandished a small knife. The gator’s eyes grew wide as it realized it was too late; it was at Cynthia’s mercy. And Cynthia had no mercy. 

Thirty seconds later, Cynthia was dragging its decapitated head out of the water and behind her. She tossed the necklace to Rhonda, and gifts to Weston, Melissa and her mother.

“I used the leftover alligator skin from flaying it alive to make you these gifts,” Cynthia stated. “Weston, a gator skin belt. Mom, a gator skin purse. And Melissa, a gator skin apron.”

“Awww, thanks Cynthia,” Melissa replied. “You’re just too thoughtful.”


“My Cynty Winthy is the sweetest, isn’t she?” Cynthia’s mom asked. “Making a gift for me and her friends! When she was just two she’d make me all sorts of things out of the stuff she maimed. Really takes me back. I use to play this song for her as a kid too.

Cynthia’s mom began dancing to the music in her head. “Shake it, shake it, you’re so fantastic. Just don’t break it, you’re only made of plastic. Cynthia, she’s a really cool dancer. Cynthia, boogie to the groove now. It’s where I got her name from actually. I never did understand why that tape was found in that fire…”


“It’s amazing PETA hasn’t sued us yet, huh?” Rhonda asked.

“I think they’re too afraid of Cynthia to try,” Toby replied. “Can’t say I blame them.”

“Well at least we got that two for one deal on giant, sewer gators,” Rhonda added. “Now then, on to the next torture!”


A montage began in the final episode of other tortures from the Wheel Of Misfortune. 

The wheel spun, landing on a banana peel…

...Tessa skated across the stage on top of two banana peels while blindfolded. She spun in place three times, before performing a split. 

The wheel spun, landing on an acorn…

...Vance gulped as Rhonda poured a bucket of acorns down his pants. Jenny laughed as she passed a cage to the hostess. Rhonda then dumped three squirrels from the cage into his pants. A one minute timer began. Vance cringed as biting was heard…

The wheel spun, landing on a fossil...

...An animatronic triceratops brayed. Lita sat on top of it, grabbing it by the horns and is began bucking and trying to throw her off. 

The wheel spun, landing on a bathtub...

...Griswold held a scrub brush and grimaced. A blue bottom baboon jumped inside a bathtub, howling and screaming. Griswold ducked as the ape threw...mud?

The wheel spun, landing on a mouse…

...A cage of mice was shown on a table. Xidorn had his hands tied behind his back. He grabbed a mouse by his teeth...and moved over to a rattlesnake cage.

The wheel spun, landing on a milk bottle…

...Weston stood holding an empty pale in his hand.

“So the cow has to fill up this whole bucket?” Weston asked. “Will it have enough milk?”

From the stage rose an annoyed looking caribou.

“Trust me,” Rhonda replied. “She has enough milk.” 

The wheel spun, landing on an ice cube…

...Ignacio blushed slightly as he stripped down to his underwear. Carla stared him down, while most everyone else just plain stared. He said in an washtub filled with ice cubes, already beginning to shiver. 


Eventually, the montage ended. By now seven newcomers were in stocks. 

“After five rounds,” Rhonda stated. “We’re down to almost half of our competition. Congrats Cynthia, Diamonique, Ignacio, Kalino, Ness, and Riley.”

“Um, I’m also in this challenge,” Jacqui Jasper stated.

“Oh yeah,” Rhonda remembered. “And Judaculla is too. Why don’t you spin the wheel first this turn Jakku?”

His eyes lit up and he immediately dashed up to the wheel. “I’m rarely first in anything.”

“Hey, that’s not true,” Jenny replied. “You were first voted off your team, remember Jughead?”

J’onn J’onzz Jasper frowned and spun the wheel. It went about halfway, before landing on a picture of honey. 

“For your torture you’ll coat your entire hand in honey,” Rhonda explained. “Then you’ll have to hold it in a fire ant hill for an entire minute. Good luck.”

Jenny giggled as she passed Jasper a jar of honey. He gulped. He started to smear his hand as the anthill rose out of the stage.

“How does almost everything fit under the stage?” Xidorn whispered to Vance. Vance shrugged.

“Here goes nothing,” Jasper said as he stuck his hand into the mound. He closed his eyes and braced himself...then opened them. He frowned and actually started moving his hand around the anthill. The timer dinged and he pulled up his hand, completely untouched. 

“What the heck?” Jenny asked. “Why didn’t the stupid ants do their job?” 

She ran up to the hill and kicked it...causing an army of ants to emerge and chase after her. “I REGRET NOTHING!”

“Juniper makes it to round six,” Rhonda announced. “You can keep the honey. Next up we’ll have Diamonique.”

Diamonique spun the wheel with gusto; it landed on a star.

Rhonda clapped. “You got the star, so you get to pick the torture and the tortured. Now who-”

“Ignacio and the gauntlet torture,” Diamonique immediately stated.

“What?” Ignacio asked. “Really?”

“Pretty clever strategy honestly,” Kalino admitted.

“Yes,” Diamonique stated. “This was purely a strategic choice with no ulterior motives.” 

Ignacio sighed as the gauntlet was summoned. 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Ignacio admitted. 

“Just go ahead and strip like I did,” Kalino suggested. “It makes it super easy and comfortable!”

“Please do,” Toby whispered.

“I’m sure he’d love to,” Carla said. “He’ll look for any excuse to.”

Ignacio sighed. “Alright, let’s try it.”

“And go!” Rhonda shouted.

Ignacio sprinted as fast as he could, but he was was grabbed by hands. 

“Let me have a piece of his shirt!”

“I want body hair for my collection!”

“I just want to take his clothes off!”

“Oh god,” Ignacio sighed, as pieces of his clothes were torn apart. He tried to struggle, but was soon overwhelmed. In seconds, his clothes were torn off completely. This caused most of the fans to faint. Ignacio tried to cover himself as he headed to the finish line. Before he crossed it, the timer went off. 

“I’m afraid you’ve failed Ignacio,” Rhonda stated. “Meaning Diamonique is still in, and you’re out.” 

Ignacio sighed. “Can I get a change of clothes then?”

“Nope,” Rhonda replied. “Now then, you’re next Ness.”

Ness patted Ignacio on the back as he passed, then spun the wheel. It landed on the icon of the basketball.

“Oh god,” her father mumbled. “I can’t watch her humiliate herself like this.”

“It won’t be that bad...probably,” Markie replied.

“If she is in a five mile radius of a sporting event she gets injured,” Richard replied. “Even at chess tournaments.”


...Ness held a basketball and stood in a court, a timer going down. On to the court ran seven basketball players, who all kinda looked like famous basketball player Larry Bird. 

“I still don’t understand how this challenge works,” Griswold admitted from the stocks. “How did they get seven Larry Birds?”

Ness face was repeatedly pelted by basketballs. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!”

She tossed the ball while falling to the floor, which miraculously made into the net as the buzzer sounded. 

“And Ness scores!” Rhonda announced.

“What?” Richard and Markie asked in unison.


“Next up, we have Kalino.”

Kalino spun the wheel very slightly, getting it just land on a star. 

“Alright Kalino,” Rhonda said. “Who will be your victim?”

Kalino scratched his soul patch. “I choose Riley...and the peacock cage.” 

Riley gulped. “I don’t have to do it...right?”

“Yeah,” Rhonda said, “you do.”

“That’s not fair,” Griswold shouted. “She technically completed that one. You said so yourself!”

“There’s no rule that I can’t force someone to do a torture again,” Kalino stated. “Nothing personal.”

The peacock cage rose again. The peacock glared with his one good eye at Griswold in the stocks. Even slower than before, Riley approached the cage. She grabbed the door, but let go.

Rhonda shook her head. “It looks like-”

“Yah!” Riley cried out. She flung open the door and jumped at the bird. It pecked her furiously, but she grabbed it in a headlock. 

“You punch it in the snout to establish dominance!” Riley shouted. She smacked it in the beak, before ripping three feathers and rolling out of the cage. She kicked the door behind her as the buzzer went off. 

“Riley succeeds!” Rhonda cheered. “Kalino, you’re out.”

Kalino shrugged. “Congrats Riley.”

“Thanks bud,” Riley replied. She winked at Griswold, who blushed and winked back.


“Alright,” Rhonda stated. “Cynthia is next.”

The wheel spun, landing on a lightning bolt.

Toby walked forward as Cynthia stood still. He held up a taser and fired at Cynthia. She was electrocuted, but she didn’t react in the slightest. 

Toby raised an eyebrow and slowly backed up. 

“WOO!” Cynthia’s mother cheered from the disturbed audience. 

"That's a win,” Rhonda said. “And since Riley was dared, she gets to go a second time this round.”

“Oh yeah,” Riley remembered. She spun the wheel, landing on a traffic cone. From the ground rose a course divided with traffic cones and a unicycle. 

“You have one minute to unicycle through this course,” Rhonda explained. “The torture part comes in if you hit a cone which triggers an explos-”

Boom.

Riley coughed up smoke as the unicycle turned to ash under her. 

“-ion.” Rhonda finished. “Which results in you failing the torture. So, you’re out.”

“Bummer,” Riley sighed as she took her place in the stocks. “Sorry I messed up the chance you gave me Gris.”

“Nah,” Griswold chuckled. “You did amazing. You even went out with a bang.”


“Round seven,” Rhonda announced. “Diamonique, you’ll spin first.” 

Diamonique turned the wheel, which landed on a garbage can. Rising from the ground was a garbage can...with a clock and several different colored wires attached to it. 

“This garbage can has been converted into a stink bomb,” Rhonda explained. “You have a minute to try and diffuse the bomb before it explodes. If it explodes before then, you’re also out.”

Diamonique raised an eyebrow and approached the can. She poked it, and the clock began counting down from one minute. 

“Do I get wire cutters?” Diamonique asked. 

“Sorry,” Rhonda replied, “wasn’t in the budget.”

Diamonique shrugged and knelt closer. She grabbed and the red wire, and started biting into it. She tore it off with her teeth and the clock stopped. 

Diamonique smirked. “That it?”

The clock turned on and started counting down at twice the speed.

“The red wire ending it?” Jenny asked. “That’s way too obvious!”

Diamonique gulped, then flopped to the ground and rolled away. The countdown reached zero...and the can split over.

“Really?” Diamonique asked.

“I told you it wasn’t ready yet,” Toby stated.

Rhonda shrugged. “We’ll at least we got a free trial out of them. Regardless, Diamonique is out.”

Diamonique pouted as she was locked into the stocks.

“Great try sweetie!” Diamonique’s dad shouted.


“Up next is Ness,” Rhonda stated, as the jinx cautiously approached the wheel. She spun the wheel, landing on an image of an egg.

“Am I going to get egged?” Ness asked.

“Not this challenge,” Rhonda replied. “Instead, you’ll have a minute to secure an egg…”

From the ground rose two towers connected with a highwire. Below it was a net. The tower on the left held some kind of nest. 

“...From a chicken hawk’s nest,” Rhonda finished. “You must cross the highwire and balance across to the nest. You then have to bring it back across. Think you can handle it?”


“Okay,” Ness admitted. “I struggled with the highwire in the first challenge. But this iss a chance to redeem myself! ...Right?”


Now on the right tower, Ness stepped out onto the highwire. She gulped, but tried to gain her balance and avoid looking down. 

“You got this Ness!” Lita cheered. 

Ness smiled and inched forward faster. She approached the nest…but stopped as she heard a cry. Rising from the nest was a hawk with red tail feathers. It screeched at Ness. 

“Just jump off Ness,” her father yelled. “It’s for the best.”

Ness glared at her father, then turned to the hawk. “No. I’m not jumping. I’m not quitting. I’m going to beat this bird.”

The chicken hawk screeched. 

“Let’s dance you eagle knockoff,” Ness stated. “Or you too scared? Must be why they call you a chicken hawk.”

“Ahhhhh!” the hawk cried. 

Ness faked going forward as the hawk dodged, but ducked. The hawk soared over her, and she dove into the nest. She held up an egg in her hands. 

“She did it,” Markie gasped.

“Yeah, but the chicken hawk can comeback around,” Richard replied. 

Ness gulped as she saw the hawk swerve in the air and head for her. “Uh oh. Wait...anyone want to do me a favor?”

“You know I’m here for you,” Lita replied. “Though slightly indisposed…”

“Start clucking please!” Ness said.

Lita shrugged and started making chicken noises. The hawk stopped in mid-air and turned away. 

“Who says you can get help?” Rhonda asked.

“You didn’t say we couldn’t talk during the challenge,” Ignacio replied. “So...cluck, cluck, cluck.”

Soon, the other Fireworks started making chicken noises, then Melissa and Xidorn joined, till all the others in stocks started clucking. Ness tiptoed across the highwire with the egg above her head, almost at the tower.

“Peep!” 

Ness froze as egg shells landed on her hand. Above her, the hawk chick was born. 

“Hey little fellow,” Ness said with nervous laughter. “Heh, heh, aren’t you a cutie?”

The hawk chick looked down at her...furiously started pecking Ness’ face. 

“Ahhhh!” Ness screamed as she lost balance and plummeted to the net. The chicken hawk swooped up her baby just before she fell. 

“Close,” Rhonda said, “but with that, Ness is officially out.” 

Ness frowned as she was placed in the stocks. “So much for that.”

“Woo Ness!” Melissa cheered. 

“Way to go Loch Ness!” Riley celebrated.

Ness smiled slightly.


“We’re down to our final two,” Rhonda explained. “Cynthia and Juke. Here’s how it’ll work. To win, your opponent must fail a torture. Then you must succeed in a torture. Other rules are the same. First to do so wins. Since Jetson previously went first, Cynthia will start us off.”

Cynthia stepped up to the wheel and spun it hard. It spun over and over till landing decisively on a star. 

“Wow,” Rhonda stated. “Well then Cynthia, what torture shall Jacobo do?”

Cynthia turned to Jasper. “Retrieving the pearl necklace.”

Jasper gulped. He looked down to see he was already knee deep in the trench of sewer water.

“Like I said,” Rhonda stated, “good thing we did that two for one deal…”

Another giant, mutated sewer gator rose from the water, perhaps even bigger than the last. Around its tooth was the necklace. 

“Maybe it won’t see me,” Jasper whispered. 

Slowly he approached the gator, reaching it without the creature seeming to detect him. He grabbed on to the tooth…

“Raaaaaaaaaaa!” the gator screamed.

“Oh crap,” Jasper said. “Uh...see you later alligator?”

The gator grabbed Jasper by his shirt, threw him in the air and opened his jaws. Jasper fell and slid down his tongue like a slide. He was swallowed in one gulp. 

“Oh ****,” Toby stated. 

“Well,” Rhonda stated. “Uh…maybe he’ll come out the other en-”

“-Ack, ack.”

The gator began coughing violently, before spitting up Jasper. He slid across the water before surfacing on the land. He raised his arm, holding up the pearl necklace.

“I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” Jenny stated. “He actually did it. Which means he beat Cynthia’s torture and she’s eliminated.”

Jasper stood up and tried to wipe the spit of himself. He looked down at the necklace. “What does that mean?”

There was a short moment of silence, before Rhonda stepped forward.  

“Congratulations,” Rhonda announced. “This means that you Jack...no, Jasper are the winner. Let’s give hand to the winner of our first merge challenge, Jasper!” 

The newcomers were freed of their stocks and began clapping, the audience joining in. Jasper blushed and almost lost his balance.

“I did it,” Jasper said. “I actually...did it! I won a challenge! WOOOOOOOOOO!”

“As winner,” Rhonda said, “you’ll have invincibility at tonight’s elimination ceremony. Your previously awarded immunity will be saved for the next ceremony you’re vulnerable. You’ll also get the luxury suite for you and one fellow competitor of your choosing.”

“Oh,” Jasper said. “Huh, never thought I’d have to pick that…”

“To make things more interesting,” the hostess continued, “there’s also the matter of the family reward. Since your family couldn’t join us, you can choose who gets to spend time with their loved one.” 

Jasper scratched the back of his head. “Geez...well I guess um...I...I pick Lita to get to spend time with her loved ones.”

Lita gasped. “For real?”

Jasper smiled and nodded. “Um, and to share the suite with me, Diamonique if she’s interested.”

“Oh yeah!” Diamonique cheered. “How can I pass up hot guys serving me food in a hot tub?”

“Congrats,” Rhonda stated. “Lita, your mother and your brother Roscoe will spend the next two days here at the Pentagram! Tomorrow you’ll also all get a free tour of Washington and the Smithsonian Museum together!”

“That’s so cool!” Roscoe cheered. 

“I’ll give everyone a chance to say goodbye to their loved ones,” Rhonda said. “We’ll meet an hour later for elimination. Ta ta for now.” 


The newcomers and their loved ones gathered in the lobby for their goodbyes. Lita chatted with her brother and mother in the corner, telling them all about Washington. Diamonique’s parents hugged her and fretted over their daughter. Riley and her brother hugged goodbye.

“Dummy!”

“Jerk!”

Riley and Pat turned to see Weston and Easton staring each other down and insulting each other.

“Alright,” Riley said, “I’ve had enough of this. You two are making up right now. Or else.”

Weston shook his head. “I’m not going to, ouch!”

Riley grabbed both twins by their ear lobe. “I said makeup. You can’t really tell me you want to hate each other forever, can you?”

“Do you guys really wish to never see each other again?” Pat asked. “That the bond you have and the good times you shared mean nothing?”

“You don’t understand,” Easton replied.

“Maybe not,” Pat replied. “But I have been disconnected from my siblings before. I once left home for five months because I thought I didn’t want to be around them. I didn’t need them. And when I was sad and alone, they welcomed me back with open arms.”

Easton sighed. “I...I don’t hate you Weston. I really do care about you. I just...I wanted to know who I was without you. That’s why I joined this show...and I lashed out at you for coming. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Weston replied. “I kinda knew you wanted to do this show alone, but I joined anyway. I didn’t know what I’d be like without you...and I didn’t want to lose you either. But we lost each other anyway. I guess I kind of discovered what you did anyway. So thank you for doing this show.”

“Awww,” Riley and Pat sighed in unison. “Now hug!”

Weston and Easton looked at each other awkwardly, then hugged.


"My dad and I didn't say much," Xidorn admitted. "But he handed me this letter. He wanted me to read it sometime, he said when I felt like it was a good time. How am I supposed to know when that is?"


“Wonderful job miscalculating on the challenge today,” Iolana congratulated her brother. 

“Good seeing you too sis,” Kalino stated. “Don’t leave mad, just leave.”

“That’s it?” Iolana asked. “All you have to say?”

“What more do I need to say?” Kalino replied. “I’m on the show, you’re not. Even if you don’t think I can succeed, I’m going to try anyway. It’s no different than usual.”

Iolana shook her head. “Glad to hear you’ll continue embarrassing the family. Guess it isn’t any different than usual. You’re still the same failure you’ve always been.”

“I’ve been doing great for myself,” Kalino replied. “I’ve just been doing it my own way. You can’t see that.”

“I can see all you’ve done,” Iolana replied. “I can see the way your little crush rejected you, the way you lost the challenge, the way you continue to drift by. It’s just like the family expected; failure.” 

Kalino started to walk away, but Iolana grabbed his arm. “You know, dad thinks there’s still a chance you’ll make something out of yourself. But I know better.”

With that, Iolana left. 


Melissa hugged her sister tightly. “I’ll miss you Bea. But I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah I know,” Beatrice replied. “Probably real soon.”

“What do you mean?” Melissa asked.

“You bombed the challenge,” Beatrice replied. “Someday I hope you understand that you can’t be so idealistic and kind; it’ll only cause failure.”

“I love you little sister,” Melissa replied. “But I’m not going to apologize for choosing to be kind.”


“Sorry I didn’t win today,” Tessa stated. “I would have loved to catch up.”

“It’s fine,” Ashley replied. “I probably wouldn’t have stayed.”

“What?”

Ashley darted her eyes back and forth. “Listen Tessa...I like you. I don’t think you’re the worst like everyone else. But...you have bad publicity. I can’t have that.”

“Are you serious?” Tessa asked. 

“I have the chance to have my face on a box of wheat cereal,” Ashley replied. “I can’t throw that away for you!”

Tessa glared at her. “Then why are you even here?”

“To tell you we can’t be friends anymore...and to promote my new cereal.”

“Really?” Tessa asked. “Really?”


Ashley smiled in the confessional, holding up a box of shredded wheat cereal. “Sweet Wheat! If you can’t beat it, wheat it!”


“Going to leave me without telling me goodbye?”

Ignacio turned to see Carla crossing her arms and glaring. “I was looking for you actually. I thought you might have left.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Carla asked.

“Carla,” Ignacio said. “I'm truly sorry if I hurt your feelings. I’ve never tried to...for along time I cared about you. You were very real with me, not the way other people treat me…”

“And how do you thank me?” Carla asked.

“Alright, I have had it up to here with the lip on you.”

Lita stomped over, with Riley and Ness following behind her.

“No one asked you,” Carla stated.

“No one asked you to be so mean, but that hasn’t stopped you,” Ness added.

Carla glared at the jinx, but this time the jinx returned it.

“Ignacio has not hit on us or tried to flirt with us,” Riley stated. “He’s just been a nice, sweet guy.”

“I feel bad,” Lita admitted. “At the start I assumed Ignacio was some serial flirter and egomaniac like you. But I know that isn’t true.”

“Do you know he’s admitted to liking a girl here?” Carla asked.

“I didn’t say they were from here,” Ignacio added. “Um, not that I said I like anyone…”

“All I care about is that you apologize to Ignacio,” Ness replied. “He’s done nothing, and you’ve made it all about yourself.”

Carla turned her shoulder. “I wouldn’t expect his lovestruck harem to understand. You’re just a bunch of pathetic girls throwing yourselves at him. He’s a dog, plain and simple.”

Carla walked away. “Wait Carla…”

Carla turned to Ignacio. “What?”

“I am glad that you came,” Ignacio stated. “Seeing you treat my friends so poorly has made me realize how thankful I am. Thankful to not be dating such a terrible person.”

“Excuse me!” Carla screamed. “You cannot talk to me-”

“-I think you’ve done enough talking,” Ignacio stated. “I thought you were someone who could see past my looks, but you still judged me. I thought maybe I was a bad person for feeling attraction, and I could be, but I’m not. So I’m not going to punish myself for it. Do me a favor and never insult my friends again.” 

For once Carla had nothing to say, and left.

“Wooo!” Riley cheered. “Tell her Iggy.”

“That was amazing,” Ness agreed.

Lita nodded. “Mhmm. I’m glad you got that off your shoulders.”

“Thanks for standing up for me,” Ignacio replied. “And um, I really have no idea what she was talking about there with the liking stuff.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Lita replied. “If she wasn’t lying then it was probably Rhonda just editing the footage.”

Ness’ fathers walked over. 

“Oh no,” Ness whispered.

“We’re headed out,” Markie stated. “I’m sorry we couldn’t stay and hang out Ness. I know you would have loved it.”

“It's fine,” Ness said. “Really.”

“I didn’t have high exceptions anyway,” Richard admitted. “But, everything turned out okay. Just don’t try to hurt yourself like that again.”

“I know,” Ness sighed. “I lost. I failed.”

“Aww sweetie,” Markie said, “It’s no big deal. We didn’t think you’d do that well anyway.”

“Try to be careful,” Richard said. “I mean, don’t you think it’d be better if you, you know…”

“What?” Ness asked.

“Just...quit,” Richard said. “You wouldn’t be getting as hurt or embarrassing yourself. Then things would be okay.”

Ness rubbed her arm. “But I...well I…”

“Are you serious?” Lita asked. “Were you even paying attention? She got third out there!”

“Loch Ness beat all of us,” Riley stated.

“She was killing the final challenge too,” Griswold added. 

“She was an important member of the Fireworks as well,” Ignacio said.

“I just want my daughter to be okay,” Richard stated. 

“No.”

“What?” Richard asked.

“Things wouldn’t be okay,” Ness stated. “How could things be okay? Things have never been okay!”

“What about me?” Markie asked. “Things are okay with me, right?”

“You married my dad!” Ness yelled. “That’s awkward and embarrassing! How can you not realize that? You can’t be my dad and best friend...and you aren’t either!”

“Ness please reconsider,” Richard said. "I just want what's best for you."

"What's best for me?" Ness asked. "You mean with you? Dad, today you came out here and you didn’t cheer me on. I tried so hard today, for someone who didn't act like he wanted to see me. Not once did you say you were proud of me. But here...I have my friends, people who are proud of me. Here, I'm okay. So I'm not giving up. Bye dad. Bye Markie. I’ll see you at home, when the show is over.”

The two nodded. 


Only one loved one remained at that point. 

“Ooh,” Cynthia’s mom sighed as she hugged her daughter. “I’ll miss you Cynthy Winthy. But I’m so glad I got to see you and all your little friends! And that cute guy you found too. I could just eat him up.”

“Aww thanks Ms. Cynthia’s mom,” Weston replied. 

“It was a pleasure to meet you,” Melissa said.

“Bye mother,” Cynthia replied. 

Cynthia walked off as Cynthia’s mother waved.

“Guess it’s back to town and the crows for me,” Cynthia’s mother stated.

“Crows?” Weston asked.

“Oh yes,” Cynthia’s mother replied. “Our town is covered in crows. You’ll see when you come there. Every telephone line, tree or building has a murder of them.”

“Cynthia never mentioned that…” Weston stated.

“You know it's funny,” Cynthia’s mother recalled while smiling. “I remember when they first migrated to town; it was the day Cynthia was born. They descended from the skies and over the town like a black plague. Since then, crows have always been there. Always watching, always screaming. Always present. Never to leave.”

The others shuddered. 

“Why...why did they come?” Xidorn asked. “Where did they come from?”

Cynthia’s mother smiled. “If life’s taught me anything, its that sometimes you don’t ask questions. You don’t always want the answers. Anywho, goodbye children. I’m sure I’ll see some of you again someday.”

Cynthia’s mother departed.

“I’m honestly even more frightened by Cynthia then I thought was remotely possible,” Kalino stated. 


In the kitchen, Diamonique was making the seventh layer of a decker sandwich. Someone stood outside the door. “That challenge really worked up my appetite. You too?”

“I was looking for you,” Griswold admitted.

“If it's for a date, no can do hunky chunk,” Diamonique replied. “I’m not a homewrecker, so go back to your girlfriend.”

“Me and Lita aren’t dating anymore,” Griswold said.

Diamonique rolled her eyes. “People think I’m stupid.”

“Listen, I want to know how you’re voting tonight,” Griswold admitted. “You know, see if you’d be interesting in voting the same person…”

Diamonique raised an eyebrow. “Who you thinking?”

“Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing Kalino leave,” Griswold admitted. “But I’m not set on it. Any suggestions?”

Diamonique shook her head. “Save it. I know you and the other Fireworks will vote together. Why would I want to join y’all and be number six or seven in an alliance?”

“Rather than seven or eight with the Eagles?” Griswold asked. “Listen, you don’t always have to vote with us. But if we work together for this vote, we’ll send home whoever you want. You call the shot, and we’ll knockout whichever Eagle betrayed before.”

Diamonique stroked her chin. “It’s a tempting offer...but I can’t. The other Eagles will turn against me for it. Plus, I think I’ve got a few options with them. Sorry cutie.” 

Diamonique turned down the hall, but stopped and turned around. “Although, I am open to working with you or the other Fireworks down the road.”

Griswold glared. “You mean when we have no other options and you need the numbers?”

Diamonique flipped her hair as she walked out. “We can pick you all off entirely if you prefer.”


At the same time, Xidorn, Vance, Weston and Kalino met in Kalino’s room, all playing his Gamecube.

“One last match together dudes,” Kalino stated. “It could be our last together.”

“Why do you say that?” Weston asked. “We came in with the numbers over the Fireworks, didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” Vance replied. “Then Rhonda’s dumb twist with the returnees ruined it. It was poorer than a hummingbird on a string for a nickel. Now we’re even.”

“But the Fireworks won’t work with Tessa,” Weston stated. “So we still have more votes...right?”

“If all of the Eagles vote together,” Kalino replied. “But I don’t know mannnnn, Diamonique might be holding a grudge.”

“She was super strong in the challenge today,” Weston admitted. “Why did we vote her off again?”

“Uhh...can’t remember,” Kalino ‘admitted’. “Point is, there’s a chance she could flip.”

“Tessa could still be voting for an Eagle too,” Xidorn said. “She has that weird vendetta against you Kalino.” 

Kalino shivered. “Don’t remind me. If she votes me and the Fireworks get wind of it...then they could all vote me.”

“I doubt the Fireworks would willingly work with Tessa,” Xidorn stated. “She treated them like garbage...I mean she treated everyone like that, but especially them.”

“But she has a vote,” Kalino replied. “If it is for one of us, the Fireworks may just agree to do the same to ensure one of their own doesn’t go.”

“I tried asking the little lassie who she was voting,” Vance admitted. “Melissa did too. She wouldn’t say.” 

“Maybe that Joshua guy will vote with us,” Xidorn suggested. “He could flip just as easily.”

“Who are we even voting for anyway?” Vance asked.

Kalino smirked as he scratched his chin. “I think I’ve got a plan…”


On the top floor, Jasper exited the elevator. He took a deep breath.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Jasper felt himself suddenly glomped by Lita in a tight hug.

“Oh,” Jasper said, “hey Lita. Yeah, yeah...no problem. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the room too, I just felt like Diamoniq-”

“-I don’t care about that,” Lita replied. “But that chance to see my family, that means so much to me. And the trip? My brother and mother would never get to experience something like that in their life!”

“Really?” Jasper asked.

Lita blushed. “The truth is...we’re not that well off. We can’t afford a lot of things, let alone a trip. I think this is the closest they’ve ever gotten to having a vacation. So, thank you for giving them that.”

Jasper smiled. “I’m happy to. I hope you have fun together.”

Lita nodded and Jasper was about to walk off, but stopped. “Hey...who are you voting for tonight?”

“I told you that you didn’t have to vote with us,” Lita said.

“I know,” Jasper said, rubbing the back of his head. “But let’s just talk hypothetical. If you could have anyone go home tonight, who would it be?”


Soon, The fourteen newcomers sat in silence in the Haunted Internet Cafe. 

“It’s time for the first official merge vote,” Rhonda announced. “Just to recap, everyone is voting and one of you will be going home. Since Jasper won invincibility, he’s safe for this vote and the next. Tessa and Diamonique also have immunity. The rest of you are fair game. So, let’s vote.”


Tessa cast her vote. “I don’t know if this is actually going to work, but it’s worth a shot...it’s the only shot I’ve got.”


Ness gulped as she cast her vote. “Please, please, please let this work…”


Kalino clicked his vote. He ran his fingers over his shirt pocket. “Hmm…”


Ignacio counted numbers with his fingers. “Alright, what are the statistical odds this actually pans out?”


Diamonique cast her vote, then blew a kiss at the camera. “Adieu chérie. That’s Spanish for adios.”


Weston drummed his fingers against the side of the confessional. “Wait...who were we voting again? Uhhhhh...oh yeah! No wait, that’s me…”


Toby walked out carrying a tray of thirteen coffee cups. 

“Our coffee pot is currently broken,” Rhonda stated, “so these are actually just filled with tap water and some coffee grinds we scrounged up. Still, they represent safety. There are no more chances for returning. Tonight, someone loses the game at the halfway point. The first cup goes to Jarec…”

“I’ll take it,” Junior Jasper sighed, catching his cup as Melissa patted his back.

“The next cups go to Diamonique and Tessa,” Rhonda stated, tossing the cups. “Now for someone we weren’t sure if they were safe...Vance.”

Vance nodded and caught his cup.

“Ignacio, Ness, Melissa,” Rhonda announced. 

Ignacio and Ness shared a smile and clinked cups. 

“Xidorn,” Rhonda continued. The honest soul smiled a little and nodded at his cowboy friend. 

“Weston, Lita.”

“Thank goodness,” Lita whispered to herself, wiping the sweat off her forehead. 

“Riley...and Kalino.” Neither looked chill as they usually did, but sighed heavily upon catching their cups.

Everyone stared as Rhonda raised the final cup. “And finally…”















































“...Griswold. I’m sorry Cynthia; it's time.” 

Griswold was too relieved to try and catch his cup, which landed in his pompadour. 

“Thank goodness,” Riley cheered, tackling Griswold into a bear hug.

“Wait, how can this be possible?” Weston asked. “The votes, there should have been a tiebreaker at least…”

Cynthia stood up. “Someone flipped.”

“No,” Weston said. “That’s not possible...is it?”

“It was clever to get rid of me while you can,” Cynthia stated. “And whoever flipped, let’s hope you don’t live to regret it.”

Almost everyone gulped.

“This still doesn’t make any sense!” Weston shouted. “I mean...who flipped? Who switched? It’s not supposed to be this way…”

Cynthia pulled Weston in for a kiss. “Don’t be upset for what isn’t, but be glad for what we had. What we will have after the show. I’m not done with you yet…”

Weston forced a smile and nodded.

Melissa stood up and embraced Cynthia. “I couldn’t have asked for a better roommate...or a better best friend.”

“I couldn’t either,” Cynthia replied.

“Even though I will sleep very sound tonight,” Rhonda said, “I think I’m actually going to miss you Cynthia. I think a lot of us will...oh my god where did she go?”

Everyone looked to see that Cynthia had disappeared. In her place was a frowning face made of broken glass shards. 

“She must have left through the Revolving Doors of Shame...right?” Lita asked.

“Did anyone actually see her leave?” Xidorn questioned. 

Everyone shook their heads...

Chapter 16 Kart Of War[]

The day after Cynthia’s elimination, the hotel was quiet. The halls were empty...until Ignacio ran back inside shirtless. He ran into his room and slammed it close. At the same time, Kalino opened his door and yawned. Ignacio exited moments later, now wearing more clothes, and immediately covered his eyes.

“Mornin Iggyyyyyy,” Kalino greeted.

“It’s 12:30...and you’re not wearing any clothes,” Ignacio replied.

Kalino looked down to realize he was pantless. He shrugged. “No wonder I’m so tired. I’m not usually up this early.”

“Aren’t you the least bit concerned you're naked?” Ignacio asked.

“Nah,” Kalino replied. “I think I forgot to put clothes back on after the challenge. Or was I wearing clothes to elimination last night? Oh well. What are you doing?”

“I just had to comeback in and get a new shirt,” Ignacio replied. “A hawk stole my sweater...again.”

Kalino raised an eyebrow. “Dude, what’s the big deal with you being nude or whatever? You’re like afraid of it. I mean we’ve all seen it as this point, so who cares?”

“It’s embarrassing,” Ignacio replied.

“Only if you let it embarrass you,” Kalino said. “You know if you want, I could help you get over your whole naked taboo.”

“I think it’s a very reasonable taboo,” Ignacio replied.

“Suit yourself brother,” Kalino replied. 

He shrugged and walked off. 


In the kitchen, Melissa whistled a sad tune while she bottled water. She wore some kind of sling around her neck, dangling on her chest. Ness rubbed her hands together as she stepped into the kitchen.

“Oh, good morning Ness,” Melissa greeted. “Can I help you with something?”

“No, not really,” Ness replied. “What are you doing?”

“I read online there are a lot of thirsty male fans of the show in Brazil,” Melissa stated. “So I’m bottling and sending water there to help.”

“I don’t think those comments meant that kind of thirsty,” Ness replied. “What’s with the uhh...bib?”

“Oh, my little cockroach cradle?” Melissa asked. “Well, since I saved those baby roaches I’ve decided to take care of them. This way I carry them. Isn't that right my little cuties?”

The cockroaches hissed in response.

Ness nodded, trying not to shiver. “Isn’t that sweet and not gross or creepy. Honestly Melissa, I wanted to know if you’re okay. I knew you and Cynthia were best friends.”

Melissa forced a smile, placing her hand over heart. “Thank you. I do desperately wish she were still here...but I don’t hold it against you for voting her. You took the chance to take out a threat.”


“The truth is we didn’t necessarily vote Cynthia out for being a threat,” Ness admitted. “I mean it didn’t hurt. Really, Jasper agreed to vote with us only if we all voted for Cynthia. We weren’t in a place to argue. I’m not sure why he said that, but Lita certainly didn’t mind his choice…”


“I’m honestly more concerned with who flipped on my team,” Melissa admitted. “I don’t suppose you would tell me who voted with you.”

Ness shrugged. “I have no idea who it was. No one's come forward either. I don’t know if it’s a comfort...but I don’t plan on voting for you anytime soon. We haven’t forgotten you baked my cake and helped out Seraphina. Not to mention you’re just nice! Lita too; she’s with her family or she’d be here.”

“Thank you,” Melissa replied. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised with someone on my team...my former team not telling me...it’s not new. Anyhow, I should finish these waters.”

Ness nodded. “If you do want someone to talk to, you know where Lita and I live.”


Melissa held up her golden flash drive. “I do have this very thoughtful present from Vance, and I do trust him...but I don’t trust the other Eagles. Except Diamonique; we’re in an alliance...that did include Cynthia. I just haven’t felt close with my team. I honestly feel closer to the Firework girls...and I am wondering if maybe I shouldn’t work with them…"


Ness left, and Melissa returned to her business. Tiptoeing into the kitchen was Weston.

“Melissa, psst...Melissa,” Weston whispered. “Pssst....Psssssst…”

“Weston?” Melissa asked. “Why are you whispering?”

“Because I’m being sneaky and secretive,” Weston replied. 

“But I can see you,” Melissa said.

Weston blushed slightly. “Oh. I’m here to talk to you. We both know something’s up with Cynthia’s elimination. Someone is a Benedict Arnold. And I mean like traitor, not like the eggs. You’re the only Eagle I know who wouldn’t have voted her off. So we need to work together to find the real culprit.”

Melissa nodded. “We owe it to Cynthia.”


“I almost voted wrong last night,” Weston admitted. “It usually happens, but Cynthia helps by writing me notes. Or...I guess helped. But I know I voted for Griswold last night!”

Weston sighed and slumped in the seat. “I never thought I’d outlast Cynthia. I kind of hoped we somehow could get to the finals together. I guess that’s silly...and not going to happen now.”


The former Eagles gathered together in the cafeteria.

“Alright,” Weston said, “we know somebody flipped. So someone come clean or else...something will happen.”

“We all know who it is,” Vance stated. “Isn’t that right Diamonique?”

Weston gasped. “You turned on us to get revenge for voting you off, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t,” Diamonique replied.

“Oh,” Weston said.

“That’s crazier than a foxhole full of rabbits,” Vance replied.

Diamonique shook her head. “Incase you forgot Slow Draw McGraw, Cynthia didn’t vote me off. I trusted her. We were friends. We all know you boys were scared of her. So you decided to ease your fears and off her.”

“We wouldn’t do that to our bud Weston,” Vance stated.

“Somebody has to be lying,” Kalino sighed. 

After sitting a few minutes in silence eyeing each other, the Eagles eventually went their own ways. Melissa and Weston were alone.

“Well that was a bust,” Weston admitted. “I was sure it was Diamonique.”

Melissa shook her head. “I believe her. The truth is that before she was voted out we were in an alliance together. We were going to rekindle it now that she was back.”

“Cynthia never told me that,” Weston sighed. “Kalino was just worried last night she’d flip.”

“Hmm,” Melissa muttered.

“What?” Weston asked.

“Just...something seems off about this whole thing,” Melissa admitted. “Kalino made you think Diamonique could flip? Then someone flips…”

“You don’t think it was Kalino, do you?” Weston asked. “I mean, he couldn’t have. He’s always so nice. He even stood up to Easton for me at the challenge.”

“Whose idea was it to vote Griswold?” Melissa asked.

“Kalino,” Weston replied. 

“I’m not making any accusations just yet,” Melissa replied. “And please don’t tell him I said this, but I suspect he’s been controlling the votes for a while.”

Weston sat down. “Kalino? He seems so chill and relaxed? Could he really have voted off Cynthia and lied about it?”

“Weston…”

Weston looked up at Melissa, who squirmed uncomfortably. “Weston did...did Kalino convince you to vote off Aiden?”

“I...I don’t remember,” Weston admitted.


In their room, Kalino played video games while Vance watched, sitting in a bean-bag next to him and munching on cheese puffs. Kalino scowled. 

“Watch it partner,” Vance stated. “You just about lost us the race.”

“Us?” Kalino asked.

“I’m supervising,” Vance replied. He tossed a puff in the air, trying to catch it with his mouth but it hit his eye instead.

“I’m just out of it man,” Kalino replied. “This doesn’t sit right with me.”

“I know,” Vance stated, “that cheese puff should have totally landed in my mouth.”

“I meant Cynthia’s elimination,” Kalino said. “Things shouldn’t have played out like that.”


“I knew Griswold was targeting me,” Kalino admitted. “The old bear doesn’t like me; it’s not subtle. I even heard they were going to vote me last night. So I thought to be safe I'll use that good old flash drive.”

He patted his pocket, then frowned. “But instead they voted off Cynthia. The good news is I still have one use left in it, and I’m sure I can find another. The bad news is that the Eagles might be a sinking ship…”


“I’ve been thinking a lot Vance,” Kalino said. “Mostly about pizza. We should totally order some. But also, maybe we need to form an alliance…”

“Aren’t we in an alliance?” Vance asked.

“Yeah, that one Pascal made before he imploded,” Kalino replied. “But that’s down to just me and you. I think we need to expand it.”

“What about the Eagles?” Vance asked.

“I mean we can totally include our bros,” Kalino said. “But some of our former teammates our accusing us of betraying them. So we need to change the plan.”

“I guess,” Vance replied. “If we do, we have to add Xidorn. He should’ve been included in the first one.”

“Yeah, well let’s pretend this is like a new alliance,” Kalino said. 

“Why?” Vance asked.

Kalino laughed. “Vance, how do you think Xidorn would react to you revealing you lied to him about this alliance? Xidorn, the kid who never lies. Especially about the inter-team alliance that almost got him or his girlfriend vote off.”

Vance gulped. “You think he’d be mad?”

“I mean why haven’t you been honest with him before?” Kalino asked. “About something you’re hiding with your past…”

“I’m not hiding anything about my past!” Vance shouted.

“oh, of course,” Kalino replied. “I just mean...you know, hypothetically. If you were, well then you never told your best pal. And you know why...because he’d never forgive you.” 

“You...you think he wouldn’t?” Vance asked.

Kalino shrugged. “He might hate you forever. I think it’s crazy, but you know how Xidorn is about the truth. So I won’t tell him anything, and neither will you...right?”

Vance nodded vigorously. 


In the city, Lita and her family enjoy themselves at a nice restaurant.

“The Smithsonian is amazing,” Lita’s brother Roscoe stated. “Who knew they had all that NASA stuff? Or those old planes! How often do you visit there Lita?”

Lita laughed. “That’s the first time I’ve been too. I would have loved to show y’all downtown at some point. Too bad it’s been closed off for some reason.”

“The news said something about another horse rampage,” Lita’s mother recalled. “Whatever that means. Anyhow, it was sweet of that boy to give us this trip. Is he sweet on you?”

Lita glared at her mother. “He’s just a friend mother.”

“I’ve never heard that one before,” Lita’s mother mumbled to herself.

“It’s just so cool you get to do this,” Roscoe said.

He sighed.

“Something wrong little man?” Lita asked.

Roscoe shook his head. “I just have to use the bathroom. I’ll be back!”

As Roscoe wheeled himself away, Lita’s mom turned to his daughter. “So you’ve been happy here?”

“It’s been rough,” Lita admitted. “It wasn’t what I was expecting. But I’ve...actually made some good friends. And if I can get far enough...I don’t know. I think I could win this.”

Lita’s mom nodded. “I heard from another waitress at work...about what you said. About Roscoe and me. Honey…”

“-Not here, not now,” Lita stated. “This is supposed to be a fun day.”

“I want to talk about this,” her mother stated.

“I forgot I was on camera,” Lita said. “It happens all the time here. Sorry.”

“Not that,” her mother replied. “I...understand what you said. But I do love you and I am glad I had you.”

“Don’t lie,” Lita replied. “I know better.”

“Honey-”

Lita glared at her. “I know. I still remember when I was little...when dad left. You begged him not to. He didn’t want to stay, didn’t want to be tied down by a kid anymore. You said you’d give me away. But he still left. You going to deny that?”

“No,” Lita’s mother admitted.

“You going to deny that the reason you had me was to guilt him into marrying you?” Lita asked.

“No,” Lita’s mother sighed. “It’s true.”

“Then there’s nothing more to say,” Lita said, turning away.

“You’re right,” Lita’s mother admitted. “It’s true. When I had you I was young and selfish. I was so selfish I didn’t consider how my child would live when I decided to have one. I’m sorry. But I’m not sorry for having you. I did treat Roscoe better, but only because I am wiser now. You-”

“Hey,” Roscoe said. “Did I miss anything?” 

“Not at all little man,” Lita replied. “We were just about to leave. Then we were going to tour Washington more.”

“Ooh, which monument? Which one?” Roscoe asked. 

Lita smiled. “You pick.”


In her dorm room, Tessa sat alone on her bed in silence.


“There is literally no way I can apologize to Lita,” Tessa said. “I kept trying to think of ways...and yeah, none. Ironically, I wanted a room to myself...and now I’m being driven crazy alone in there.”

She crossed her arms, heaving a sigh. “I can hear Alanis Morissette singing now…”


Tessa turned over and closed her eyes...only to be so startled by a knock on the door she fell off the bed. “Ahh! Ouch. Coming!”

Tessa swung open her door to find Riley standing there holding a bag.

“Sup Sweet T,” Riley said. “I noticed you weren’t at breakfast. I got you some Mickey D’s! They got the all day breakfast menu.”

“Wow, thank you Riley,” Tessa replied. “That’s really sweet. Do you want to come in?”

Riley shrugged and walked in. Tessa looked throughout the hallway, before closing her door. 

Riley sat down in a chair nearby, tossing Tessa her food as she made herself more comfortable. “So why did you skip brekkie?” Riley asked. “It’s the most important meal in the day.”

“I couldn’t show my face,” Tessa said. “I couldn’t take everyone hating me.”

“To be fair, you did show your face before,” Riley said. “And everyone still hated you then.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Tessa replied. “But not after I saw Lita’s family...and said those things about them. How can I face her?”

Riley shrugged. “I guess with another apology. At least you got to see your best friend.”

“Just so she could tell me she’s tossing me aside for wheat,” Tessa sighed. 

“Dang, that’s cold,” Riley said. “I’m sorry T. Was it Sweet Wheat? They are delicious. If you can’t beat it, wheat it.”

“It’s not like I totally didn’t deserve it,” Tessa admitted. “Being friends with me is just a bad idea.”

Riley smiled and patted Tessa’s shoulder. “So she turned out to be a sucky friend. But hey, I still believe in you sweet T.”

“No,” Tessa said. “Riley, you don’t get it. If you’re seen with me, everyone is going to turn against you. I’m not going to be the reason you lose two million dollars.”

“Um, I have a say in this too,” Riley stated. “And I don’t care. If the others trust me, then they’ll trust you...eventually.”

Tessa smiled a little. She began unwrapping her breakfast and eating. 

“I wanted to ask Tessa,” Riley said. “Well...how did you vote last night?”

Tessa seemed to swallow her food, but was actually gulping. “Truth is...I voted for Kalino.”

“Why?” Riley asked.

“Because I don’t trust him,” Tessa said. “Trust me, Kalino is a bigger rodent than the Pizza Rat.”

“The animatronic one who sings at birthdays?” Riley asked. 

Tessa sighed. “Sure.”

“Griswold has the same suspicion about Kalino,” Riley admitted. “But does this have to do with that flash drive? Did you really try that?”

Tessa nodded. “I admit in hindsight I deserved to go home for being the worst. But...well I had a secret alliance with Pascal.”

Riley gasped. “Wait...why I am shocked? That sounds exactly like Pascal…”

“The point is Kalino and Pascal were roommates,” Tessa said. “He and Kalino were also in an a secret alliance.”

Riley gasped. “That...also sounds completely believable.”

“So I figured that alliance extended to us,” Tessa explained. “I was going to have him use the flashdrive. Instead he used me to get it and caused my elimination.”

Riley gave Tessa a look. 

“Okay, I caused my own elimination,” Tessa admitted. “I’m not really one of that Potato-Head’s victims.”

“Victims?” Riley asked. “As in multiple?” 

Tessa lowered her voice. “I can’t tell you everything, but let’s say that a few people know Kalino had a hand in their elimination.”

Riley nodded and began thinking. 

Tessa pulled out her hashbrown and split it in half. “You want to help me finish this?”

“I physically can’t pass up free food,” Riley laughed, the half already in her mouth. “So, why didn’t you ask me who we were voting for?”

Tessa shifted uncomfortably. “Well...I heard a rumor that all the other Fireworks were voting for him, so I didn't think it mattered. Like I said, I didn’t think you should be seen with me.”

“I guess that means we still don’t know who our mystery voter is,” Riley said. “Still, we need to be on the same page in the future. We need as many votes together as we can if we’re going to survive.”

Tessa smiled and nodded. “I promise next vote I’ll talk to you.”

“No sweat Sweet T,” Riley replied.

She stood out and opened the door. “And Tessa. Ashley may have ended things, but she wasn’t your only friend. You got me now.”


That afternoon, Lita escorted her family to the lobby.

“Do we have to leave now?” Roscoe asked.

“Sorry honey,” his mother said. “We have a plane to catch.”

Lita rustled his hair. “Don’t worry little man. Maybe someday we can come back here.”

Roscoe pouted. “Probably not for along time.”

“We need to be grateful we got to come sweetie,” Lita’s mother said. “Don’t you think we should thank Lita for this trip?”

“Yeah, thanks Lita,” Roscoe replied. “It was super fun. I’m so jealous of all the fun stuff you get to do.”

“Don’t be jealous of me Roscoe,” Lita stated. “You...you really shouldn’t be.”

“But you’re always doing all this cool stuff,” Roscoe admitted. “Like boxing or this show. You’re so cool too. I wish I could do that.”

Lita sighed and hugged her brother. “You’re amazing too little man. Don’t forget that.” 

Lita waved goodbye as her family left. As soon as they went out the door, her smile dropped. She curled up in a nearby chair, hiding her face in a pillow.

“Lita?”

Lita turned to see Ignacio standing over here.

“Oh. Hey Iggy.”

“I was just coming down for a moment and...are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Lita replied. “I just want to be alone.”

“Sure,” Ignacio said. “But, you can talk to me Lita. I won’t judge you. I’m your friend.”

Lita raised her head, revealing she had been crying. “I...I just said goodbye to my family.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ignacio said. “That must have been hard. I know they mean a lot to you. I understand that.”

“It’s not just that,” Lita admitted. “I’m...I’m a terrible person Ignacio.”

“No, no,” Ignacio stated. “Why would you think that?”

Lita forced a laugh. “When my little brother left he told me he was jealous of me. Me. But...I’ve always been jealous of him. Isn’t that awful? He’s just a little kid in a wheelchair. He’s had such a hard life and it’s going to get harder I’m sure...but I can’t help being jealous. Ever since he was born, everyone treated him nicer. He always got more attention, even money to help us. And he deserves it...but I’m still jealous.”

Ignacio grabbed Lita and pulled her into a hug as she started to bawl into his shoulder. 

“I don’t think that makes you a horrible person,” Ignacio stated. “I think that just makes you human.”

Ignacio held her for a while, until she stopped crying, then walked her back to her dorm. 


The next day, the newcomers woke early with an announcement over the speakers.

“The bus leaves in thirty,” Jenny’s voice said. “Be there or be square.”

It ended with the sound of a horn honking. The newcomers finished a quick breakfast, courtesy of Melissa, and boarded the bus.

The bus arrived at some sort of salvage yard, filled with old and decommissioned cars. Some sort of large junkyard coliseum was being formed nearby, with workers coming and going. 

“Are those workers for this show?” Ness asked, as she and the others exited the bus. “We’ve never had that many interns.”

“They're less interns and more temp workers,” Rhonda replied. “Wanting a chance to work on the show now that we’ve reached our prime. Along with free tickets to the spectacle we’re producing tomorrow.”

“Isn’t it a little soon for a challenge?” Weston asked. “Or do we have to speed it up again?”

“More returners aren’t coming, are they?” Vance asked.

Rhonda shook her head. “Let me start from the beginning. Thanks to our primetime slot, a local car dealership here in Washington is sponsoring our next challenge. So tomorrow, you’ll be go-kart racing!”

“Aww sweet!” Riley cheered. “I love racing!”

“Toby has suped up a special course for you in the coliseum,” Rhonda continued. “You’ll race there tomorrow for our live audience. Our tickets are already sold out!”


“If only Ms. Rhonda cared half as much about being nice as she did making money,” Melissa said.


“So why am I here instead of eating my third breakfast?” Diamonique asked. 

“For tomorrow’s challenge you’ll have to build your own custom go-karts,” Rhonda explained. “You have access to this scrapyard and any of these old cars and parts that are lying around. Toby will be around to help you with specifics. You can work on it as much as you want today, but there is a lot at stake tomorrow.”

“Like...what?” Kalino asked.

“Tomorrow’s winner will not only receive invincibility and the master suite,” Rhonda said, “but this!”

From behind her back, the hostess held up a golden trophy, with a little wheel on the top.

“Ooh,” Weston gasped. “Shiny!”

“Additionally, the dealership sponsoring this will give five hundred dollars to the winner of the race,” Rhonda stated.

The newcomers cheered. However they soon went silent as they saw Rhonda’s dark smirk.

“More importantly, you don’t want to lose. Because if you do, you’re gone.”

Everyone gasped.

“You mean if we finish last,” Ignacio gulped. “We’re automatically eliminated.”

Rhonda nodded. “No voting, no ceremony. The Public Transportation of Losers will pick you up on the spot.”

“So...if we don’t finish the race, we can’t go home?” Weston asked.

“No Weston,” Rhonda replied. “It means whoever gets last place, after everyone else, will be gone. Not even an immunity flash drive can save you.”

“What’s the point of winning invincibility if there is no ceremony?” Xidorn asked.

“Well because...It’s just a formality okay!” Rhonda shouted. “The point is, remember at the merge when I said this is going to get harder? Well, this is it!”


Lita sat in the confessional scowling and with her arms crossed. “You know why we suddenly have an automatic elimination challenge, right? It’s so Rhonda can give a free pass to Tessa. She’s going to weasel her way to safety yet again.”


“Uh, what about my immunity?” Jasper asked. “It carried over from last time, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Rhonda realized. “Well...that prevents you from being eliminated. So, you can either use it now and skip the race. Or you can race tomorrow, and if you survive you’ll have it at the next ceremony. But, if you do lose you’re eliminated. No exceptions.”

Jasper scratched his head. “Uh...I guess there’s a good chance that I won’t get eliminated tomorrow. Should I risk it?”

“Your call,” Rhonda replied. “You can sit on the sidelines or you can be part of the action. Whichever you can handle.”

Jasper tightened his fist. “I’ll do it.”

“That’s what I like to hear!” Rhonda cheered. “Have fun building everyone!”


The newcomers dashed off to the dump, digging and diving into the car parts. 

Vance emerged head first, spitting up oil. “I don’t even know what half of this stuff does. Uh, you know, because there aren’t a lot of cars in the country.”

Xidorn collected engine parts in his arms. “I can give you a hand with it Vance.”

“You know car stuff?” Vance asked.

“I’m not an engineer or anything,” Xidorn replied. “But my dad taught me a lot of stuff. He’s one of those people who can tell you the make and model just by eyeballing it.” 

“I never knew you and your dad were so close,” Vance said.

“We aren’t,” Xidorn admitted. “But...I guess we did have some good memories. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see any of your family Vance.”

Vance forced a chuckle. “I’m not. I mean...I’m sure Ma had her hands full with the donkeys and the turkeys.”

Weston popped out of a tire stand. “Wouldn’t your siblings help out?” 

“I thought you were an only sibling?” Xidorn asked.

“No,” Weston replied. “Vance has tons of siblings; Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Cindy, Bobby and his cousin Oliver who lives with Vance while his parents are in South America.”

“Uh...I just meant that I was an only child for so long,” Vance stated. “I sometimes forget that’s all…”

Xidorn raised an eyebrow, while Weston nodded understandably. 


Soon, everyone had found a garage and was working on their karts. Riley rolled a tire along the ground into a garage she was sharing with Griswold, who was doing something to an old bulldozer. 

“That’s the last one,” Riley stated.

“Thanks for getting those Ry,” Griswold replied.

“Totally dude,” Riley replied. “Hey Gris…”

Griswold looked up at her, causing her to blush. “I just...wanted to say thank you. For last challenge, with the peacock. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Griswold replied. “When your in trouble, I’m there for you bro.”

“How did you know?” Riley asked.

“You weren’t acting like you,” Griswold said. “You know, chill and fearless.”

“I’m not fearless,” Riley laughed. “I almost peed myself at a peacock.”

Griswold blushed. “Dude, you’re the most fearless person I know.”

The two looked at each other and then darted eyes. 

“So I talked to Tessa,” Riley said, trying to change the subject. “She voted for Kalino.”

“So she says,” Griswold replied.

“I believe her Gris Bear,” Riley stated. “To be honest...I think she's changed.”

“We gave her more than one chance before,” Griswold reminded, turning back to his work. “And she spit in our faces.”

“I know,” Riley replied. “But...if she’s changed, then I don’t see the harm in giving another.”

Griswold sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “I don’t know...if you think it’s a good idea, then I guess. But I don’t know if we could convince the others. Especially Lita.”

“Yeah,” Riley admitted.

Griswold paused for a moment. “You said, Tessa voted for Kalino?”

Riley nodded. “She has it out for him, and heard we were voting for him. Why? What’cha thinking?”

“That was our plan,” Griswold stated. “We didn’t talk to Tessa, and I doubt the other Fireworks did. But I did tell Diamonique. So she, or another Eagle she talked to, must have told Tessa.”

“Dang, your right Gris!” Riley stated. 

Griswold scratched his head. “But why? That would just be a clue for Tessa to vote against one of your own...unless that’s what you wanted!”

“That actually confirms a theory I’ve been mixing in my brain blender,” Riley admitted. 

“Pour this theory smoothie Rye Bread,” Griswold stated.

“I felt like Tessa was hiding something,” Riley stated, “but she mentioned some eliminated peeps who had it out for Kalino. Maybe Diamonique is one of them...”


“We’re supposed to be in an alliance Diamonique!”

Tessa scowled at the short scatterbrain who had snuck into her garage. Diamonique shushed her and whispered, “Keep it down. You think I’m happy Kalino is still here? Especially instead of someone I actually like?” 

“You said if I voted Kalino, he’d be good as gone,” Tessa stated. “Well, he’s still here!”

“How could I know they’d vote Cynthia instead?” Diamonique asked. “I’m not psychic; that was Seraphina…”


“Diamonique had this crazy plan for getting out Kalino,” Tessa explained. “She found out who the Fireworks were voting, but said if she did vote that way and the Eagles found out...any trust she had would be gone. Her game would be dead. But if I voted for Kalino, it would be a tie. Then either Gris kills him in the tiebreaker challenge, or she switches on the revote to justify saving her friends.”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Yeah, in hindsight it was pretty convoluted. But she only told me an hour before elimination. I probably would still have voted for that hippie dippy hedonist anyway.”


“I just wanted him to go home before me,” Tessa sighed. “Guess that’s not ever happening.”

“If you survive this race, there’s still a chance,” Diamonique stated. “If Kalino did vote out Cynthia...then enough of the Eagles could flip. And even if he didn’t...let’s say he did.”

“No one would believe me if I said so,” Tessa replied. “Which I suppose is fine, I don’t want to lie to anyone anymore. Even though I’m sure the slimy snake is the culprit.”

Diamonique shrugged. “Fine. Then at least don’t lose this race.”


The next day the coliseum was packed with spectators. From above the stadium, Jenny and Toby watched the events from inside a hot air balloon. 

“Welcome everyone, to the big day,” Jenny announced into a mic. “The Genesis Go-Kart Grand Prix! Today, our thirteen competitors will be spinning their wheels through one of the most challenging tracks in racing history, built by myself with help from my sidekick.”

“Built?” Toby asked. “What did you actually do?”

“I supervised,” Jenny replied.

“If that means falling asleep while eating cheese puffs,” Toby said.

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny shouted.

She cleared her throat, before speaking into her mic again. “My sidekick and I will be an eye in the sky, providing car commentary on today’s race. The racers will have to complete one lap through all kinds of obstacles. To the winner; glory in the form of trophy and five hundred dollars cash! And to our big loser, a free one-way trip to Losersville! Here come the racers now!”

Driving up to the starting line was Griswold, in a big, bumper car-like red go-kart. It was spray painted with a bulldog and a large brown bear. At the end of it was a scoop like a bulldozer. Griswold waved at the cheering audience.

“First up it’s Griswold in the Beardozer,” Jenny stated. “This kart maybe big, but it’s all terrain wheels and super scoop mean it’s ready to rumble! And up next we have little Melissa in her Sweetie Speedster.”

Melissa drove up in an extremely pink go-kart that was like an old-fashioned carriage car. It was covered in stickers that promoted different charities. In the back was a car seat for the baby roaches.

“Melissa’s go-kart is certainly very Melissa,” Jenny said.

“Don’t underestimate it for it’s cuteness,” Toby stated. “Working on that car, I know Melissa had some interesting ideas that may change the race. Following her is the stunner of the circuit herself, Lita in her Lightning Bolt!”

Lita drove forward. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and she wore some kind of deep purple racing uniform, with an aviator’s hat, white gloves, white gogo boots, and her purple scarf. She blew a kiss to the audience and she drove forward in some purple go-kart that looks like a mustang, decorated with lightning bolts.

“Everyone knows lightning bolts mean speed,” Toby said. “We’ll see if Lita and her kart have the means to back it up.”

“Here comes number four,” Jenny said. “It’s Xidorn in his Wonder Wheels.”

Xidorn drove up in a kart as colorful as expected of him. The kart seemed to have parts repurposed from electric cars and Japanese vehicles. Xidorn revved his wheels, which spun like a colorful rainbow wheel.

Jenny grabbed her head. “Uhhhh...it’s flashy, but fast. Is it any wonder if the Wonder Wheels take first? I think not. Now driving up is...oh my, it’s that mean queen machine with the diamond driver, Diamonique and her kart, The Empress.”

Diamonique honked her horn as she drove forward. Her kart was like something out sweet sixteen from the Fury Road, a pink monster truck bedazzled with rhinestones and sparkles. 


“So I used my parents credit cards to buy monster truck parts,” Diamonique admitted. “It wasn’t against the rules. I couldn’t drive just anything.”


“That kart may self-proclaim it’s fabulous,” Toby said. “But is it fast? Hard to say with that large size, but that maybe an advantage.”

“It’s certainly large and in charge,” Jenny added. “Just like it’s driver.”

Weston drove up next, in a small yellow kart. On the side of it was a crudely painted drawing of Cynthia, like something a child would draw. 

“It’s Weston in the S.S. Cynthia,” Toby announced. “Should we tell him that’s for naming ships?”

“It is?” Jenny asked.

Toby rolled his eyes. “This driver has got a bad case of heartbreak. But if this kart is anything like it’s namesake, then it’s a threat in this race...and will also haunt all of my nightmares.”

Riley drove up in a polished, white lowrider like kart with fur seating. It bounced up and down to the starting line.

“It’s Reckless Riley in her special Autobrobile,” Jenny stated. “Talk about your sweet ride. What special features does this car have?”

“It’s hydraulic lift kit allows it to ride low or high,” Toby replied. “All Riley’s fixing of course. Also, cupholders.”

Riley fired a finger pistol as she raised an ice cold Pepsi from a cupholder. 

“Now it's the street racer called everyone’s desire,” Toby stated. “Ignacio in the La Máquina De Velocidad.”

Ignacio blushed as he drove up in a red, sleek Chevrolet Cruze like kart. It also seemed to be built with electrical parts however. 

“That’s a sexy kart for a sexy driver,” Toby stated.

“Gross,” Jenny gagged. “This a friendly reminder to protect children and pets; get them cootie vaccines. Next, she may not like being called a jock but that’s a sports star in a sports car; Turbo Tessa in the Olympian!”

Tessa drove in an Formula One like go-kart, like something out of Monaco, and a spring green paint job. Tessa was notably the only racer to receive a mix of boos and cheers.

“The car seems fast,” Toby admitted. “But we’ll have to see if this Big Shot can go for the gold in racing and not just gymnastics."

“Now here comes Vance the Kid in The Giddy Up and Go!” Jenny stated.

“Yeehaw!” Vance cried as he rode in on his kart, which seemed to be less of a kart and more of mechanical horse kiddie ride crossed with a motorbike. Yet it still had pedals.

“Probably our most unusual kart in this whole race,” Toby admitted. 

Jenny snickered. “It certainly has horsepower. We’ll have to see if the course is big enough for the two of them.”

Ness drove up next in a small, olive colored punch buggy-esque kart. She smiled at the crowd, honking her horn that had a playful beep. Two big, fuzzy pink dice were held over the rearview mirror.

“That’s Ness in the Jubilee Jalopy,” Toby said. “And it looks like she’s got a good luck charm to help in this race.”

Ness tapped the fuzzy dice...and the rearview mirror fell off. 

“She’ll need it,” Jenny added. “Now look what’s come in with the tides! It’s Kalino in the Kahuna Cruiser!”

Kalino pulled up in his orange kart, the seats having a pattern like a Hawaiian T-shirt. His kart was like a beach dune buggy. Instead of a steering wheel, he was controlling it through some kind of GameCube Controller.

“A video game controller for a steering wheel?” Jenny asked.

Toby shrugged. “He insisted. If his skills in Double-Dash are any proof, this might be an advantage in this race.”

“And approaching at the back is our last kart and racer!” Jenny announced. “The winner of our last challenge, it’s Javert...I mean Jasper! We don’t have a name on record for his kart actually. What is it?”

Jasper drove up in an average, simple red go-kart.

“Uh...we had to name it?” Jasper asked.

“Jasper in the Uh We Had To Name It,” Jenny stated. 


“I’m so confused,” Jasper said. “Monster trucks and sports cars? It took a lot of effort to make an actual go-kart, which I thought we were supposed to be racing. How did they engineer this stuff?”


“With all of our racers here it’s time to start this competition,” Jenny stated. 

From a tower over the finish line, Rhonda waited with the checkered flag in hand. She counted down from three on her hand, then waved the flag. The cars dashed off, almost knocking over the tower.

“And they’re off!” Jenny announced. “It’s a simple track for the moment, but they’ll soon encounter obstacles during our course.”

“There are three pitstops scattered across the raceway,” Toby explained. “Where our racers can stop for fuel or repairs, but they’ll have to push their kart there if it does wipeout.” 

The newcomers raced, the lead car switching and switching, with no clear frontrunner. In front of them, the road split into three different directions, leading to three different tunnels.

“And now our racers will have to choose which path to follow,” Jenny announced. “Each way leading to different obstacles and potential advantages for this race. It looks like Tessa is out in the lead, zooming down the second path.”

Tessa smirked for a moment, but it quickly faded as heard a honking noise. Kalino sped by her, waving as he passed. She glared and slammed the gas pedal. She rammed into Kalino, trying to drive him off the road.

“It would be a shame if you kart quit on you Kalino,” Tessa stated, ramming into the kart again. “Oh wait, no it wouldn’t be.”

“It’s cute how you project your failures on me Tess,” Kalino replied. “But even if I lose it won’t stop people from hating you. Can you blame them?”

Tessa groaned and sped up to ram into him again, only to be knocked back by a giant cushion exiting out of his trunk. She slid off the road to the side. Kalino pushed a button on his cart, and the cushion retracted into his kart. 


“This challenge is basically a Mario Kart L.A.R.P.,” Kalino said. “Aka, a series of games I’ve been mastering since I was seven. So I tricked out my kart with all kinds of dodads and gadgets. I know for a fact I’m not coming in last.”


In another lane, Lita was leading. From behind her, Vance throw quarters from his pocket into a coin slot. His kart ‘bucked’ and made a whinny sound before speeding up.

“And The Giddy Up and Go pasts the Lightning Bolt,” Jenny stated.

“Yeehaw!” Vance cried out. “Better luck next time Lightning Loser.”

Lita shook her head. “You think Vance would have learned his lesson by now. Then you remember he’s Vance.”

Lita pressed a button in her kart. Suddenly, a large boxing glove spring popped out and punched Vance.

“Tarnation!” Vance screamed as he wiped out off the track.

“I’d hate it if you lost the race Vance,” Lita teased as she drove by. “Then I couldn’t kick your keister again!”

“With that Lita punches her way back into the lead,” Jenny announced. “That’s why they call her the knockout.”

“That’s not the only reason,” Toby muttered. 


“Over in the third lane we see Riley and Xidorn jockeying for a position,” Jenny announced.

Riley and Xidorn’s kart were right beside each other, grinding up against each other.

“Your kart is cute Xi,” Riley stated. “Like it’s cute how you think you’ll pass me.”

“Or how cute it’ll be when I cross the finish line before you,” Xidorn replied. 

The two smiled at each other while simultaneously glaring. Both were suddenly driven off the road however, as Diamonique sped down. She honked as her monster truck charged through. She sipped a milkshake comfortably as she ‘drove’ with her feet on the steering wheel, swerving like a madwoman from left to right.

“And the Empress takes a surprising lead,” Jenny announced. “But it’s about to race straight into trouble.”

“Huh?” Diamonique asked. She looked up and almost swallowed her straw. She tried to slam her brakes, but skidded straight into deep mud, taking out a bridge over it.  

“Really?” Diamonique asked. She revved the car, but it was completely stuck. 

Riley and Xidorn stopped just before the mud.

“There goes our way out,” Xidorn sighed. 

“Now what?” Riley asked.

He reversed his car, and sped off in the same direction. “Try not to lose!”

Riley glared and started to reverse her car, when she heard a growling noise. It was Griswold, honking his horn as he stopped before the mud.

“Never fear, Griswold is here!” 

Griswold lowered his scoop, shuffling the mud out of the way and creating a pathway. 

“Nice Gris!” Riley cheered. “The Beardozer was a pretty smart idea after all.”

“I couldn’t simply leave a lady in need,” Griswold replied.

“What about me?” Diamonique asked. “I’m in need, and I’m quite the lady. How about helping me out?”

“Like how you didn’t help us at the last vote?” Griswold asked. “Maybe I’ll work with you down the road...if you can actually make it down the road again.”

Griswold and Riley sped off as Diamonique flipped them off. 


Meanwhile, Ignacio was driving down a winding path in an area that seemed to be like a forest.

“I never understand how with their budget they make this stuff,” Ignacio remarked to himself. “Like this for example. Even if I take it that Toby made this from garbage, how did he make trees?”

“They’re old fake Christmas trees,” Toby shouted from the hot air balloon. “Stop pointing out plot holes or you’ll fall in one.” 

Ignacio raised an eyebrow, but soon become distracted when a tree branch snagged his shirt and tore it off completely. Blushing, he tried to cover himself...but let go of the steering wheel. He veered off and crashed into the kart in front of him, sending Lita and Ignacio straight into a tree. 

“And just like that the two hottest racers are burnt out,” Toby sighed.

“There is a pitstop close by...behind them,” Jenny snickered. 

Lita sighed as she got out and checked under the hood. “Well, my engine is officially screwed up.”

Ignacio smacked himself in the head. “My tires are shot. I’m sorry Lita, I shouldn’t have let go of the steering wheel, I just got embarrassed and I-”

Ignacio went silent as Lita threw her racing shirt at him.

“I know how you get Iggy,” Lita replied. “Don’t sweat it hon.”

Ignacio gulped as his whole face lit up red like Rudolph’s nose. “Lita...your shirt...no shirt...your...oh my…”

“It’s not a big deal,” Lita said. “I know you need it more than I do. And I am wearing a bra...today. Now let’s hurry and haul these to the pitstop. If we’re lucky someone screwed up worse than us.”

Ignacio zipped up the racing jacket, which didn’t quite fit him. “Wait! I don’t think we need to.”

From his trunk, the hunk pulled out a toolbox. “I thought in case of a roadside emergency I should bring this for repairs.”

“Unless you brought new tires and a new engine in there, it won’t make much of a difference,” Lita replied.

“I have an engine, you have tires,” Ignacio replied. “The rules don’t say we can’t cross the finish line in the same kart. So let’s almagate our karts into one.”

“I gotcha!” Lita cheered. “We’ll make a superkart and hopefully in enough time to cross that finish line. You’re a genius Iggy.”

Ignacio blushed. “Uh, thank you. Now let’s start by stripping your tires…”


Jenny and Toby sailed over the sky, peering down at the remaining racers. 

“Kalino still holds a lead on this path,” Jenny announced. “Does he have this race in the bag?”

Down below Kalino leisurely drove around surrounding oil slicks, whistling a tune to himself. 

“Not if Turbo Tessa has anything to say about it,” Toby stated. 

Kalino turned around to see Tessa speeding like a maniac down the street. In a swift move she steered through the slicks, speeding up to Kalino.

Kalino shrugged. He drove forward over a rickety bridge that was raised above a trench of water. Pressing a button, he fired a skunk straight into Tessa’s kart.

“Oh please no,” Tessa begged as the skunk sat on her steering wheel. 

“Smell ya later Tessa!” Kalino shouted, honking his horn. This startled the skunk, who sprayed Tessa and her kart. 

“Ahhhhhhh!” Tessa cried. “I can’t feel any of my senses. I CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING!” 

As he crossed the bridge, Kalino slowed down enough to pull on a knot of the rope bridge...causing the whole thing to fall apart. He speed off, as Tessa just crossed the bridge before it sunk into the ravine. Ness and Jasper weren’t so lucky, and fell straight into the water.  

Ness got out and started pushing her kart out of the water. “I should have expected this. Actually it’s pretty lucky that there aren’t any animals in-”

Snap.

Ness gulped as a row of snapping turtles sailed to her. 

“You know, we didn’t even put any snapping turtles in that trench,” Toby stated.

“Eeek!”

“Or hammerhead sharks,” Toby added. “That’s not even any salt or freshwater.”

“Nooo!”

“That doesn’t stop the squids,” Jenny remarked.

Melissa stopped outside of the trench. She looked at her carseat of cockroaches and blew them a kiss. “Alright dears. Let’s show them why this is called the Sweetie Shifter.” 

Melissa reversed slightly. She pushed a heart shaped button before driving forward. Suddenly, a barrage of balloons and set of sails opened it. Her car started to float into the sky.

“Up, up, and away!” Melissa cheered.

“Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!” Jenny announced.

“I can see the resemblance,” Toby said.

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny shouted. “It looks like Melissa is...hey watch out!”

Melissa’s car bumped against the air balloon as it floated away. “Sorry Ms. Jenny and Mr. Toby! Now then, we have a race to win!”

She pressed another button and bike pedals appeared in her kart. She began pedaling away through the sky. Jasper stared up at her in disbelief.


“Really?” Jasper asked. “A flying car? For a go-kart race? Who thinks to build that? Was...was I suppose to build a flying car? How do you build a flying car…”


“We’re heading into the final stretch!” Jenny announced. “Kalino leads, followed closely by Griswold, Riley, Weston, and Vance. But most of all, it’s Melissa in the skies! It’s still anyone’s race, but the finish line is just in sight! Who will win the five thousand dollars? And who will be today’s big loser?”

Griswold slammed down his bulldozer and charged forward to Kalino. But like Tessa, he was made with a giant cushion, that spun him to the side.

“Be careful Gris!” Riley shouted. “Just focus on finishing. We can’t crash now.”

Griswold spun around and went back to racing. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Suddenly, Lita and Ignacio charged out in some kind of fusion of their cars. Ignacio sweated and blushed heavily as Lita was still topless. 

“See you at the finish line!” Lita cheered as she passed Vance.

Vance didn’t reply, almost running off the road while looking at Lita’s toplessness. 

“We’re almost there!” Jenny announced. “And it looks like Kalino is about to be five thousand dollars richer.” 

“Not if I have anything to say about it!”

Tessa floored it, her kart charging down the racetrack.

“I thought I smelled something nasty,” Lita stated, before pinching her nose. “Though she smells worse than usual…”

Tessa pushed a button in her own kart, causing a large hook to pop out. “You’re not the only one who made a few tricks.”

Pressing another button, the hook fired and landed on the back of Weston’s kart. “Hey, no hitchhikers on the S.S. Cynthia!”

“I’m just catching a ride,” Tessa replied. She swung her kart around using Weston, flinging herself forward from his kart.

She passed him, the hotties, Gris, and Riley.

“Woo!” Riley cheered. “Get it Turbo T!”

“Phew,” Vance cried. “You smell worse than a cow pie baked in a July oven!”

“It’s called the stench of victory,” Tessa replied. Hitting another button, she let out a lubricant slick in front of her. Driving through it, she sped up, now right behind Kalino again.

“You dropped this!” Tessa shouted, tossing the skunk into the back of Kalino’s kart. 

“Thanks,” Kalino replied. “You can have this instead.”

Kalino pressed a couple buttons, one sending a pie barreling out of his trunk. Tessa swerved and avoid it. 

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry,” Tessa replied. “On the other hand, you-”

Tessa swerved to the side, knocking Kalino back and pulling ahead of him.

“-can eat my dust!”

Rhonda waved the checkered flag, as Tessa crossed the finish line. 

“And the winner is Tessa in the Olympian!” Jenny announced. “Now, not only does she have invincibility and the key to the luxury suite, but the trophy and five thousand dollars!”

“Now it’s just a race to see who doesn’t come in last,” Toby stated. 

Kalino crossed next, then Melissa floating across. 

“Yay!” Melissa cheered. “Now then...how do I get down?”

Lita glomped Ignacio into her chest as the crossed. Gris crossed next. He turned to see Weston following. “Wait...where’s Riley?”

Riley slammed at the pedal as her kart slowed more and more. She had been stalled, now far back but still so close. “Come on Autobrobile! We’re almost there…”

Smoke came out from under the hood and the kart stopped completely. She jumped out, opening the hood. Inside some kind of goop had exploded, mucking up the parts. Riley turned back to see the other racers approaching in the distance.

“Riley! Riley!” Griswold shouted. He ran out onto the track, narrowly avoided being hit by Vance. He ran behind the kart, trying to help Riley push it across the finish line. Soon Ness, Jasper and Xidorn were zooming across the finish line. 

“Oh god,” Toby gasped. “Something’s wrong with Riley’s kart.”

“This can’t be happening,” Tessa whispered.

“Just...a...little...bit...more,” Griswold sighed, pushing with all his might. 

“It’s going to be a close finish everyone,” Jenny announced. 











Diamonique waved at the two bros as a tow truck pulled her and her kart across the finish line. 

“And that’s it!” Jenny announced. 

Riley stopped and slumped, but Griswold kept pushing. “Thanks for trying to help Griswold.”

Griswold pushed the kart across the finish line. He punched the kart. “Stupid piece of ****.”

Riley wiped her eye. “It’s alright Gris. Thanks for at least helping me finish.”

The others ran up to Riley. 

“What happened?” Ness asked.

Riley shrugged. “I don't know. One minute everything is fine, then suddenly some goop is stalling my kart and causes it to break down.”

Rhonda walked over shaking her head. “I’m sorry Riley, but you lost the race today. Which means you are eliminated.”

The hot air balloon landed. Toby sighed as he picked up a tray of coffee cups.

“That’s not fair!” Griswold shouted. “Something happened to Riley’s engine. It...it could have been sabotage!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Rhonda stated. “Riley came in last place. That means elimination. The rest of you can collect coffee cups.”

The Public Transportation of Losers pulled up to the side and honked its horn. “Go ahead and board...the meter is running.”

Riley nodded and tried to hold her head up. “Well everybody, it...it’s-”

“Wait,” Tessa yelled. “You can’t do this!”

“Um, yeah I can,” Rhonda replied. “I’m the hostess.”

“There are rules to this,” Tessa stated. “And higher ups who might disagree. You could have a lawsuit on your hands! Do you really think your budget can survive that?”

“That’s cute,” Rhonda giggled. “You can read your contract or try to call the executives...that won’t change this. The rules are that Riley goes home. That’s it, it’s a done deal. You can’t change that.”

Tessa’s composure dropped. “But...but…”

The horn honked again. “I’m sorry Riley… now seriously go, the meter is running.”

“What if I gave Riley my invincibility.”

Everyone turned to look at Tessa. 

“What?” Rhonda asked.

“I won invincibility today,” Tessa stated. “So what if I give it to Riley?”

“That invincibility doesn’t-”

“You said it was a formality yesterday,” Tessa reminded. “Jenny announced it. So I officially have invincibility. And I want to give it to Riley. Invincibility means you can’t be eliminated so...yeah, suck on that.”

“Can she give that away?” Jenny asked.

“I...I don’t know,” Rhonda admitted. “I’m not sure anyone has ever given it away before in the original. It was mentioned once I think, but I’m not sure it was an option…”

“If it was mentioned, then it must be a rule,” Tessa replied. “So give Riley invincibility.”

“But Sweet T,” Riley said, “What if this means you’re eliminated instead.”

“It would suck,” Tessa admitted. “...but it would suck more for you to go home.”

“Alright,” Rhonda said, “you can give up invincibility. Just know that you’ll lose your reward, which means no master suite, no trophy and no five thousand dollars.”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Who cares? Riley deserves to stay and I want her to...she’s my friend.”

Riley glomped Tessa, almost knocking the Olympian over. “Ooh! Thank you Sweet T!”

“Don’t hug me,” Tessa sighed, “I’ve been skunked.”

“I don’t care,” Riley replied, ignoring how her eyes watered.

“So who's eliminated?” Kalino asked. “The next person to cross the finish line?”

“Uh, fat chance of that,” Diamonique stated. “The rule was who finished last; that’s not me. I’m not afraid to get a lawyer, and I'm rich enough that it’ll be a good one too.”

“Fine, fine, fine!” Rhonda screamed. “We’ll make this simple. Since Riley was saved by Tessa, no one was in last place and the automatic elimination was nulled. So instead we’ll have a vote tonight. Riley we’ll be immune because of Tessa and has the master suite. Jasper’s immunity will also be used tonight. And the five thousand dollars...will go to no one. We’ll just absorb it to the show’s budget.”

“How convenient,” Xidorn whispered. 

“Which means the rest of you may still go home,” Rhonda stated. “You have a few hours to decide.”


That night, Lita, Ness, Ignacio, Griswold, and Jasper met in the game room. Riley just entered and sighed. “Sorry I’m late, I was helping fill the hot tub with tomato juice for Tessa. It’s the least I could do.”

“It’s no big deal,” Lita stated. “You won’t have to share the room with her after tonight.”

“Wait...you’re not seriously saying we vote off Tessa?” Riley asked.

“Uh, duh!” Lita shouted. “We said we’d vote her off as soon as her immunity was gone. Guess what, it’s gone!”

“That was before she saved Riley!” Griswold shouted.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she did,” Lita stated. “I want Riley here...and I want her gone. So let’s take advantage of this.”

“I  can’t do that,” Riley stated. “Me and Tessa are buds.”

“Don’t tell me you actually meant that,” Lita sighed. “Riley, we know Tessa is a horrible person! She’s just tricking you. The only reason she gave up invincibility was to use you. She knows she won’t make it far, so this is some last ditch attempt to try and give herself a chance. Well, screw that!”

“I have to agree,” Ignacio stated. “We know Tessa isn’t above this. It’s for the best to get rid of her.”

“I have to disagree,” Griswold replied. “She stuck her neck out for Riley today and Riley thinks she’s changed. If Riley believes so, then I have to agree with her.”

Lita shook her head. “You would.”

“What’s that mean?” Griswold asked.

“Don’t act stupid Gris,” Lita replied. 

“Ness, what do you think?” Ignacio asked.

Ness wrung her hands nervously. “Well, Tessa was a bully...but she did save Riley. It seemed really genuine too. And we need numbers...I don’t know.”

“Are you forgetting how she insulted us?” Lita asked. “How she bullied us? Or our best friend Seraphina? She insulted my brother!”

“She didn’t know he was paraplegic,” Riley tried to say.

“So?” Lita asked. “That doesn’t matter! She insulted my family and tried to hurt me...and she did hurt me.”

“I’d like to say something,” Jasper announced, stepping forward. 

“Yeah?” Griswold asked.

“I’m just glad I have immunity tonight,” Jasper admitted. “Because last time you gave Tessa a second chance, you voted me off instead. And at my first ceremony without safety, I’m not going to be another casualty for Tessa. I’m voting for her tonight.”

“I’m not,” Griswold stated. “She saved Riley, and I wish you could all look past that.”

“Good luck with that Griswold,” Lita replied. “When that blows up in your face and she backstabs you, don’t come crying to me. I’ll be laughing at you instead.”

Lita stormed out of the room. She was about halfway down the hall, when Riley grabbed her wrist.

“Please Lita,” Riley said. “Don’t go, we need to talk about this. We can’t split this vote.”

“The Eagles will gladly vote her off too,” Lita stated. “If you’re too naive not to.”

“I’m not naive,” Riley replied. “I trust Tessa. She’s trying to change and she is my friend. I’m not sorry about it.”

“What about your teammates?” Lita asked. “Are we not your friends?”

“Of course you are,” Riley said. “It’s just...she’s my friend too. But I care about you and I know this is hard-”

“-Really?” Lita asked. “If your friend, why are you defending Tessa? Or in love with my ex?”

“What?” Riley asked.

“I know you like Griswold,” Lita replied. “I know he’s in love with you too.”

“There’s no way Gris is in love with me,” Riley said.

“Sure,” Lita replied. “But you are in love with him, right? Guess the bro code doesn’t apply to your lady friends, huh?”

Before Riley could say anything, Lita charged off. 


Eventually, the Fireworks dispersed. They went their separate ways to try and change the vote in their favor. Outside in the hall, Lita and Ignacio talked to Xidorn.

“Some of the other Fireworks are having doubts,” Lita admitted. “They’re fooled by her little stunt. But I’m not. If the other Eagles work with us we can send her packing.”

“If she really wanted to stay it would be stupid to give up immunity,” Xidorn said.

“Not for someone desperate,” Ignacio replied. “Besides, if they aren’t voting her than it likely means they’re voting an Eagle.”

Xidorn crossed his arms. “And you will too if we don’t? Is that a threat?”

“Of course not,” Ignacio replied. “I was just...just trying to point out the facts.”

“Xidorn we know she’s underhanded,” Lita stated. “Remember her lies accusing your friend at the merge dinner? This was the same thing. She’s a bully. She doesn’t deserve to be here. Seraphina didn’t sacrifice herself for her. She needs to go.”

Xidorn sighed, but nodded his head. “You’re right. I wasn’t saying I’m not voting her tonight...it’s just weird. But I’ll tell the other Eagles. She made a stupid move tonight.”

Xidorn dashed off to find the other Eagles.

Ignacio sighed and rubbed his face. “I can’t believe it’s this hard to vote off Tessa.”

“It was before,” Lita said.

“You know, I am sorry that happened,” Ignacio said. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s fine,” Lita replied. “She treated you bad on the first day too. I guess...so did I.”

“I was dismissive too,” Ignacio reminded. “Funny to think how different things are from then.”

Lita laughed. “Yeah. I’m glad it’s different between us now. I’m thankful you’re here.”

“I’m glad you’re here too,” Ignacio replied. “It means a lot…”

The two looked into each other’s eyes. Then all at once, they held onto each other and started kissing. 

Suddenly, Ignacio pulled away. “Lita, Lita I…”

“What?” Lita asked. “Did I do something wrong? Did I...oh...oh no…”

“I’m sorry,” Ignacio stated. “Really, but I...I don’t like you like that.”

“Is...is there someone else?” Lita asked.

“I don’t know,” Ignacio admitted. “Maybe...but even if there isn’t, I just don’t feel that way about you. I admit I’m very attracted to you, and I shouldn’t have kissed you. I just...I value you as a friend. A really important friend, but only a friend.”

Lita forced a laugh, pretending to cry. “No, no. I just see you as a friend. I know you couldn’t like me...I just had a moment of weakness. I wanted to feel some comfort.”

“Lita I…” Ignacio said before trailing off.

“This was stupid,” Lita replied. “Let’s just forget this ever happened. I’ll see you tonight.” 

She ran off. Ignacio banged his head against the wall. 


Weston crossed his arms and pouted. “This challenge has been crazy, and so is everything after it. But it’s distracting from what I want to really know! Who voted for Cynthia? Who flipped the script? It wasn’t a flash drive was it? I just can’t figure it out…”


Diamonique applied eyeliner while looking at her handheld mirror. “I’m sure you’ve already figured it out. I voted off Cynthia.”

Diamonique closed her mirror and smirked. “Sure, Cynthia was my friend. But I didn’t come back to have friends. Nor to wait and quietly get my revenge. I came back to set their little world ablaze. Right before the votes I found out how the Fireworks were voting from Jasper. I saw a chance and I took it. I don’t regret it either.”

Diamonique reopened her mirror and began sprucing her hair. “Why would I regret it? Now Melissa only trusts me; I have her in my pocket. I have good faith with Jasper since I helped his vote. That means I have him and all his connections from the Fireworks. Even better, I can pin it on Kalino. He’s as a dead as a chicken in a chicken nugget now.”


That night, everyone gathered at in the Haunted Internet Cafe. The mood was uncomfortably quiet. 

“Welcome to this impromptu ceremony,” Rhonda sighed. “As you know, Tessa gave up invincibility to Riley, who is now immune from the votes. Likewise, Jasper has immunity. The rest of you are fair game...and one will be going home.”


Melissa cast her vote for Tessa. “I do think what Tessa did was very sweet...but I can’t vote for one of my teammates or my new friends. I do want to give you a second chance...but as Lita said, you had one and you wasted it. Sorry.”


Ness waved the mouse back and forth before reluctantly clicking on Tessa. “It’s for the best. She’s a bully. She’s said really mean things about me and my friends...but I have a bad feeling about this ceremony…”

Ness darted her eyes and clicked on Kalino’s face. “Just to be safe…I mean it won’t matter in the long run, right?”


Rhonda handed a cup of coffee to Riley and Jasper. “Enjoy this peppermint mocha blend. If I don’t call your name and you don’t receive a cup like these two, then you should know what to do. Weston, Vance.”

She tossed the two cups who nodded. “Ignacio, Diamonique.”

Diamonique winked at the hunk as she caught her cup.

“Melissa, Xidorn, and Lita.”

Lita took a sip of her coffee and glared at the Olympian on the other side of the cafe. “Hmph. Guess someone didn’t decide to vote for me again. Can’t say the same…”

“Ness,” Rhonda said. “Now the the next coffee cup goes to...Kalino!”

Kalino fired a finger gun and clicked his tongue as he collected his cup. “Thanks Rhonda dear. This sounds delish.”

“Oh no,” Riley whispered.

“You had some votes to be in the bottom three,” Rhonda explained. “But not enough to send you home...this time. But our final coffee cup goes to…”























































Tessa grabbed her luggage and stood up. “It has to be me going. I understand that-oww!”

A cup of coffee bounced off her head. Rhonda glared at her. “Stop interrupting me! The final cup goes to you. Which means going home is-”

“Griswold,” Riley sighed. 

The others gasped. 

“I said don’t interrupt me,” Rhonda grumbled.

Griswold sat motionless. “Wow…”

“How?” Ness asked.

“It wasn’t supposed to be Gris,” Lita whispered. “It was supposed to be her…”

“Griswold I’m afraid you must-”

“Wait!” Riley shouted. “Can’t I transfer my immunity or something to him?”

“Not after the elimination,” Rhonda replied. 

“Well...I was supposed to go home,” Riley stated. “So, can’t I go in his place?”

“Yeah...no,” Rhonda said. “Sorry Riley, but this elimination is final.”

“But, but...”

Riley stopped as she felt Griswold’s hand on her shoulder. She wiped her nose on her sleeve as he stood up. “It’s okay Ry. It’s okay.”

“No,” Riley replied, trying not to cry. “No it isn’t. If anythi-”

Griswold pulled her into a hug. “I wouldn’t want you to go in my place. If it was between you or me today, then I’m glad it was me.”

Griswold forced a laugh. “I guess I survived the last vote just to go now. Well, you can’t win them all.”

“Griswold,” Ignacio stated. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think that...that this could-”

Griswold grabbed the model and gave him a hug. “It happens. Sucks to be blindsided, but it happens.”

Ness glomped Griswold. “Gris...you were an amazing team captain.”

He chuckled. “I’m going to miss my Fireworks. It was the best team I was a part of, even better the Bulldogs. Stay strong, I’m rooting for you guys.”

“Hate to wrap up this feeling session,” Rhonda stated. “Really, I could milk this all day, but your ride will be here any minute Gris. You better get going.”

Griswold nodded, waving as he rushed out the Revolving Doors of Shame.

Lita clutched at her scarf, using it to dry her eyes. “I...I caused Griswold’s elimination. Didn’t I?”

Kalino gave a small wave to Griswold as he exited.


“You seemed like a cool dude Gris,” Kalino stated. “Too bad we were on opposite sides. I hoped taking out your little girlfriend today in the race would have done you in. You’d volunteer to take her place like the last challenge. Or maybe she’d just go home. Either way, a win-win. But then Tessa ruined that. I figured at least we could get rid of her.”

Kalino smirked. “And then Xidorn told me about the rift between the Fireworks. We could have voted Tessa off...but it seemed like a better idea to pull the rug out from under you all and dispose of their fearless leader. Not to mention I knew you were a little too snoopy bud. So I convinced some of my old Eagles to do it...and my new friend.”


Tessa walked up to Riley, who stared at the door. “Riley…”

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Riley admitted. “I knew one of us would go someday...but he’s my best bro. I…”

“He’s not gone yet,” Ignacio stated. 

Riley nodded, running through the doors after him.


Griswold sat down at the bench, holding his head in hands. He wiped his face on his sleeve. The Public Transportation of Losers was just down the street.

“Gris Bear!” Riley shouted. “Griswold!”

Griswold stood up and caught Riley in his arms as she practically ran into him. “Hey…”

Riley forced a smile. “I just wanted to talk to you once more before you go.”

“I’m going to miss you,” Griswold stated.

“Me too,” Riley replied. 

Griswold pulled Riley closer and the two began making out. The Public Transportation of Losers arrived.

Riley pulled away. “Gris…”

“I’m sorry,” Griswold replied. “I know, I finally tell a girl how I feel and I’m going home. But Riley, I realize that the girl I’ve always wanted, someone I could talk to and hang out with is you. I like you Riley…”

“I like you too!” Riley replied. “I didn’t realize it at first, but you’re fun, sweet...and cute.”

The bus doors opened as the driver honked his horn.

“I should have said something sooner,” Griswold sighed. “But when this show is over...you wanna go out?”

“Yeah!” Riley replied.

The two shared a laugh before Griswold got on the door. Riley stayed, waving goodbye as the bus departed...

Chapter 17 You Ain't Scene Nothing Yet[]

Ness entered the dining hall the next morning; it was empty. She started to head to the cafeteria line, when she heard humming from the kitchen.

Peeking in through the serving hatch, she saw Melissa flipping pancakes. Melissa smiled and waved. “Hey Ness...how are you feeling?”

“Terrible,” Ness admitted. “But it looks like I’m doing better than the others.”

Melissa nodded. “I understand. It seems every morning the hotel is empty and quiet now. Everyone’s just so sad.”

Melissa turned back to the stove and flipped another pancake. “I thought I could make some breakfast to serve some smiles. Any requests?”

Ness shook her head. “I don’t know if I’m hungry anymore. I wanted Lita to come down with me. She isn’t hungry either.”

“It’s not like her to miss a meal,” Melissa admitted. “Maybe I could make her something special for breakfast, and you can take it to her. Just to make sure.”

“Thank you Melissa,” Ness replied. “You’re too sweet.”

Melissa smiled, then frowned. She shifted uncomfortably for a moment. “Ness...could you please come into the kitchen for a second?”

“Um, sure,” Ness replied. “But I’m not really good helping in the kitchen. Like with ovens. Or stoves. Or bowls. Especially bowls. Honestly, standing in the kitchen is pretty dangerous fo-”

“It’s important,” Melissa stated. “Please?”

Ness nodded and entered, following Melissa towards the pantry in the back. Melissa closed the door behind them.

“Why are we in the pantry?” Ness asked.

“For privacy’s sake,” Melissa replied. “So no one could see or overhear me showing you...”

Ness gulped. “Uhh-”

“This.”

From her pocket, Melissa revealed her golden immunity flash-drive.

Ness gasped, stepping back...and tripping...into a shelf of food. “You found the golden immunity flash drive!”

“No,” Melissa admitted. “I received it from a reward. The other two could still be hiding.”

“So there might be three of them in play?” Ness squeaked. “That’s a little much. But, why are you telling me?”

“Because I trust you,” Melissa admitted. “And I like you.”

Melissa put the flash-drive away, then helped dust Ness off. “Really, I wanted to ask...how would you feel about a girls' alliance?”

Ness stepped back again, though Melissa grabbed her before she could trip.

“A girls' alliance?” Ness asked.

Melissa smiled and nodded. “You and your roommates have been really kind to me, especially when I felt like I’ve needed it. So, I’m proposing a girls' alliance!”

“But what about your old Eagles?” Ness asked.

“I would want Diamonique to join,” Melissa replied. “She's someone else I trust. I know she’d love to be part of a girls' alliance.”

“And the other Eagles?” Ness asked.

Melissa sighed. “I genuinely like the boys. But I don’t trust them. They didn’t tell me about the votes for Diamonique, Hayden...Aiden, and now Griswold. I also sadly suspect one already betrayed the team and sent out Cynthia.”

“I don’t blame you for not trusting them,” Ness admitted.

“And while I don’t like to be suspicious,” Melissa continued. “The boy Eagles have all voted together. It’s possible they’ve already formed a guys' alliance.”

“Maybe,” Ness said. “Those tend to form around...now actually.”

“Then this maybe a preemptive strike,” Melissa said. “I feel like once the Fireworks are gone the boys will vote me out. But the teams are over. I want to work with someone I trust. So...what do you say? You, me, Lita, Riley, and Diamonique team up! I’m happy to use the golden flash drive to help any of us!”

“Um...considering we didn’t vote with Riley last time, I don’t know if she would join forces with us.”

“That’s true,” Melissa replied.

“And I’m...I’m not sure,” Ness admitted. “I should probably talk about this with Lita first.”

“Of course,” Melissa replied. “I admit I am a bit hesitant about a secret alliance. No pressure! And if not, no hard feelings. I still appreciate everything you’ve done.”

Ness smiled. “Me too! I promise no matter what, I’m not planning on voting for you anytime soon.”


“I  wasn’t expecting that out of Melissa,” Ness admitted. “But I don’t know. On the one hand, this alliance could be really helpful. It would at least a lot of votes going another way. The icing on the cake is that Lita and I have the Firework’s flash drive...meaning we could use it thanks to Melissa’s golden flash drive. That’s two immunities to help our alliance! I really like Melissa too. She’s sweet, helpful, and I think a little too lonely too.”

Ness slumped in the chair. “But if we do join...what about Riley and Ignacio? I don’t want to abandon them! And I don’t want the Fireworks to really be over...”


Knock, knock.

Kalino yawned as he walked up to his door. He threw it open, to see Ignacio standing there. Ignacio averted his gaze; Kalino was nude naturally.

“Iggy?” Kalino asked. “What are you doing up at this hour?”

“It’s eleven in the morning,” Ignacio replied.

“That early?” Kalino asked.

“Kalino, do you remember the other day when you offered to help me?” Ignacio asked. “You know with the whole…”

“Your nudey fear?” Kalino asked.

Ignacio blushed. “Yes, that. I...I think I need it.”

“Sure mannnnnnn,” Kalino replied. “But, why now?”

“It’s impairing my challenge abilities,” Ignacio said. “It’s cost me quite a few challenges before. Now, I almost caused mine or my friend’s elimination because of it.”

Kalino nodded. “I gotcha. Well, let’s get going.”

Kalino started walking and heading to the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Ignacio asked.

“To get something to eat,” Kalino replied. “Then we’re going to work on this. So come on!”

“But...but your not wearing any…”

Ignacio sighed and followed.


In the lobby, Weston was on his knees. He peered at the carpet, scratching his chin. He hold up a pizza cutter to his face and squinted. He nodded, pulling a notepad out of his pocket and writing  on it. “Hmm...yes, yes. This is a carpet.”


“I’ve decided I'm going to become a detective,” Weston explained, “That way I can figure out which Eagle betrayed Cynthia and avenge my sweet little slayer. I’m looking for clues. I couldn’t find a magnifying glass, but this looks like one. Now, where am I going to find a clue?”


At the same time, Jasper was knocking on someone’s door. Lita opened the door; her hair was disheveled and bangs were hanging from her eyes.

“Oh,” Lita replied. “It’s you Jasper. What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk,” Jasper stated.

“I’m...not really up for it right now,” Lita admitted. “But...it is you. Is it important?”

Jasper nodded.

“Come on in,” Lita replied.

Jasper followed her. He seemed sweaty, and looked away from Lita. “Are you okay? You seemed really upset last night.”

Lita sighed. “I’m the biggest idiot here Jasper. I don’t think I’ve done one thing right on this show.”

"I don’t think you’re an idiot,” Jasper stated.

“I was so focused on revenge,” Lita said. “So single-minded in it...and because of that my friend is gone.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jasper said.

“No,” Lita replied. “It is. If I had made sure we voted together then-”

“It’s my fault,” Jasper said.

“What?” Lita asked.

“I...I voted for Griswold,” Jasper admitted. “That’s why I’m here. I want to tell you I’m sorry...”

Lita started at him, but sighed. “I can’t be mad at you. I told you to vote for what was best for you.”

"I wanted to vote with you,” Jasper admitted. “But let someone talk me into Griswold. That it would be...better for you.”

“You voted off Griswold for me?” Lita asked.

“He was your ex,” Jasper said. “If he and Riley hooked up...I didn’t want you to see that.”

“You didn’t think to talk to me?” Lita asked. “Run it by me before you do it on my behalf?”

“I wasn’t thinking,” Jasper said. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Lita turned away. “I’d like to be left alone, okay?”

Jasper nodded and let himself out.

The door opened.

“What are you still doing here?”

“Uh...I live here?”

Lita turned to see it was Ness. “Oh Ness...sorry it was...nothing.”

“I brought you some breakfast,” Ness replied. “Melissa whipped it up special. Plus, we need to talk about something…”


Jasper facepalmed. “I’m such an idiot! The only person to remember my name...and I backstab them. Now she’ll never talk to me again. I knew voting Griswold wasn’t smart. But Kalino...I can’t blame him. I just thought about how Griswold could date someone like Lita and then break her heart. If he dated Riley, he’d just break Lita's heart again."

Jasper blushed. “I guess I was a little jealous too. He just had everything...how couldn’t I be?”


Ignacio followed Kalino through a busy street in Washington. Kalino sat down at a bench, patting the spot next to him. Ignacio sat next to him, then moved away slightly.

“So what have you devised as a way to help?” Ignacio asked.

Kalino took a lotus position. “Meditation mannnn. One of the oldest forms of self-discovery.”

“You want me to meditate?” Ignacio asked.

“Trust the system Iggy,” Kalino replied.

Ignacio sighed, but took the lotus position all the same. He closed his eyes.

“Try to focus on something,” Kalino explained. “It can be breathing or just a thought that makes you happy. Focus intently, tuning out everything else. Don’t be upset if your thoughts stray; it means your mind still works. Acknowledge it, then return to focusing.”

Ignacio nodded and the two sat in silence as they started meditating.

After about ten minutes, Kalino spoke up. “You feel relaxed?”

“Very,” Ignacio admitted.

“Sweet,” Kalino replied. “Now strip.”

Ignacio’s eyes shot open. “What?”

“We should probably start slower,” Kalino replied. “It is our first time. Just take off your shirt.”

“Why?” Ignacio asked.

“How are you going to learn to be comfortable?” Kalino asked. “If you can focus on meditating while shirtless, then we’re making progress. Now, stay relaxed.”

“Alright,” Ignacio conceded. He began removing his shirt, till someone whistled. He immediately lowered it. “Maybe we should try somewhere less busy.”

“That’s why I chose here,” Kalino replied. “How do you model?”

“That’s different,” Ignacio said. “Then I just have to focus on why I’m modeling; the money. To help my family.”

“That’s why you want to win this show, right?” Kalino asked. “So focus on that in challenges.”

“I try,” Ignacio sighed. “But it’s not the same controlled environment. Also...I’d like to be able to handle myself, even when not in a challenge.”

Kalino nodded. “I see. You know, I used to be uncomfortable about my body.”

“You?” Ignacio asked. “Really?”

“Oh yeahhh,” Kalino replied. “For awhile I thought I was too skinny, too lanky. Then I realized I liked who I was and my body. It wasn’t like everyone else’s but it was mine. I embraced it!”

“That’s an understatement,” Ignacio replied.

"Not to mention being attractive is a cultural standard,” Kalino stated. “It just illustrates your wealth and is reinforced by that same consumership.”

Ignacio started at Kalino. “Huh?”

“I mean think about it,” Kalino continued. “In the past, being obese was seen as attractive because it was a sign you could afford to eat. In the same way, ivory skin was a sign of beauty in Medieval Europe. That’s because the rich didn’t have to work, so they weren't in the sun getting a tan."

“I never thought of it like that,” Ignacio said. “You’re full of surprises Kalino.”

“Like a mystery flavored Oreo,” Kalino agreed. “Point is, how your body looks doesn’t really matter. Bodies naturally age anyway. What matters is you accept it cause you can’t trade it.”

That’s true,” Ignacio replied. “It’s not that I necessarily dislike how I look. I just want people to stop treating me like…”

“A special on meat at the butcher’s shop?” Kalino suggested.

“Yeah,” Ignacio said. “I...I’m trying to be more comfortable with attraction. I don’t want to be ashamed for having feelings and being attracted, but it’s hard when people view me as that.”

“Kind of like a child star,” Kalino said. “They can’t explore being adult and being sexy without being condemned on one side and the other side defining their sexuality and forcing their agenda.”

“In a way,” Ignacio replied. “I also know that there are people who have the same problem to a much adverse degree.”

Kalino shrugged. “I think the only thing you can do is try to ignore them. Easier said than done.”

“I suppose,” Ignacio sighed, throwing off his shirt and trying to meditate again.

“Just remember that your desires are your's dude,” Kalino replied. “So is your body. Self-confidence is the key.”

A small crowd began forming around them, some even taking pictures of Ignacio shirtless.

“What do you focus on when you meditate?” Ignacio asked.

“A little island,” Kalino replied. “It’s small but someday...I’m going to own it.”


That night, Melissa whipped up some of her special dishes to draw everyone out to dinner. It worked, with all the newcomers coming out but somewhat divided.

At their own table, Xidorn and Vance were drawing sketches of traps.

“Our snare was a complete bust,” Vance stated. “It was worse than a catfish in a henhouse. That book was bonkers if it thought that would catch a horse.”

“Maybe,” Xidorn admitted. “But I’m really proud of how much you’ve improved at your reading.”

Vance blushed. “I haven’t done that well.”

“Are you kidding?” Xidorn asked. “You’re a champ!”

“Well, I owe it to you,” Vance replied. “Now then, let’s catch this pony punk before the next challenge!”


Lita and Ness exited the cafeteria line and sat across from Diamonique and Melissa in the corner.

“Sup girls,” Diamonique greeted in-between bites. “I’ve heard about the deal on the table. You takin or you flakin?”

“Again, there’s no pressure,” Melissa added. “It's a lot to ask. So if you prefer not to then we sincer-”

“We’re in,” Lita stated.

“Really?” Melissa asked. She beamed brightly.

“It sounds like what’s best for our game,” Lita replied. “So, let’s form a girl's alliance.”

“Yup,” Ness said.

Ness looked over at the other table where Ignacio sat. He noticed, smiling and waving at her. She forced a smile of her own and waved back.


“Thank you again for another wonderful tour Rolly! I’ll show myself out.”

That old lady, Ms. Holmes, entered in through the dining hall.

“Oop,” Ms. Holmes said, “sorry to interrupt your meal dears.”

“Hey!” Riley said. “Aren’t you that old lady I hit with my moped the other day?”

“I certainly am,” Ms. Holmes replied. “Say, would any of you youngins care for some hard butterscotch that’s been sitting in my purse for awhile?”

“Heck yeah!” Kalino replied.

Ms. Holmes started handing out treats to the few takers.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Xidorn said, “I’ve noticed that you seem to be around The Pentagram a lot. Do you work for the show?”

“Oh no,” Ms. Holmes replied. “I’m just an admirer of architecture. Use to sell houses before the Housing Market collapsed. I’ve actually been writing a book about it.”

“A book?” Jasper asked.

Ms. Holmes nodded. “I was just so inspired since Rachel let me tour it! It like's I feel the ghosts of the victims screaming. The owner watching me, guarding his treasure.”

“That’s a horrifying thought,” Lita stated.

“Wait, take two steps back,” Diamonique said. “There’s treasure in this hotel?”

“Just the owner’s most valuable possession,” Ms. Holmes stated.

“What?” Xidorn asked.

“Chicken butt,” Kalino whispered to Vance, who snickered.

“No one knows,” Ms. Holmes replied. “But many rich and famous people lived here and had their valuables stolen...along with their lives.”

Lita gulped, grabbing Ness for comfort.

“Do you mean that no one has actually found it in this place after all these years?” Tessa asked.

Ms. Holmes shook her head. “Many people have looked; cops, treasure hunters, young kids who want to get rich quick. None of have found. Some haven’t been found since.”

Lita grabbed Ness even tighter, strangling her neck.

“Of course, when the owner died he said it was in the heart,” Ms. Holmes added. “But that he cursed the hotel to be haunted by his spirit and the spirit of all his victims. If anyone ever tried to find his treasure, he would ensure they’d help guard it...forever.”

Ness’ face was starting to turn blue now.

“Wow,” Kalino said. “That treasure could be worth more than even the two mil.”

“Did you not hear the spooky, scary, serial killer ghost crap?” Lita asked, finally letting Ness go.

“You’re right,” Kalino said. “Plus, it’s probably super hard to find.”

“Be safe dears,” Ms. Holmes said. “If you see a man in a top hat, don’t go near. It’s the owner’s ghost. Now I’m off to bridge club!”

Ms. Holmes shuffled off leaving everyone to their meals.


From outside the doors, Rhonda and her co-horts listened. They smiled and followed Ms. Holmes as she exited.

“Wonderful job Ms. Holmes,” Rhonda said. “You read the script almost perfectly.”

“Oh thank you Ricky,” Ms. Holmes replied. “I always wanted to be on TV! Now I can say I’ve been on one of my favorite shows. Did I act well?”

“Oh yeah,” Jenny giggled. “They ate up that ghost story.”

“Wonderful,” Ms. Holmes replied. “Although I am a bit perplexed. Why did you want me to share the legends with those sweet kids?”

“Just to help set up something,” Rhonda replied with a smirk. “They’ll find out soon enough…”'


The next day, everyone seemed to be moving a little more. Everyone except Riley. Tessa returned to their luxury suite.

“Hey, I’m back,” Tessa greeted.

Riley sat on a massage table. Her special attendant, the blonde shirtless butler from the promotional video, seemed to be giving some kind of deep back massage. Riley looked up with pineapple slices over her eyes.

“How’s that Special Florian Island Back Massage?” Tessa asked.

“It’s amazing,” Riley replied with no tone.

“Tameron dear, could you get us some lunch?” Tessa asked the butler.

“I will prepare it myself,” Tameron replied. “What may I serve you?”

“What are you feeling like Riley?” Tessa asked. “Maybe burritos?”

Riley buried her face in the massage table and sighed heavily.

“Maybe not,” Tessa replied. “How about just some good old pizza?”

“With jalapenos,” Riley whispered.

“It would be my pleasure,” Tameron said.

The butler bowed and exited the door. Tessa turned to Riley and opened her mouth, before closing it again.

“Ruff! Ruff!” someone barked outside of the door while knocking on it.

“Hello?” Tessa asked.

Tessa opened the door to find Weston smelling the floor. “What are you doing?”

“Sniffing for clues,” Weston replied. “All the detectives I’ve seen do it.”

“What detectives?” Tessa asked.

“Well,” Weston replied. “There’s Scooby Doo, Mcgruff the Crime Dog, Jack Russell the Dog Detective…”

“I get it,” Tessa replied. “Did you want something?”

“I have a few questions,” Weston replied. “Where were you the night of February 14th, 1642?”

“I wasn’t born,” Tessa replied.

Weston snapped his fingers. “There goes my black magic theory...for now.”

“Am I done being insulted?” Tessa asked.

“One last question mam,” Weston said. “Did you vote for Cynthia?”

“That’s what this is about?” Tessa asked. “No, I didn’t. I voted for Kalino. I was under the impression the other Fireworks were and I hoped he would go home. But we can’t have nice things. Can I go now?”

Weston wrote this all down on his notepad. "Okay, but don’t leave the country.”

Tessa slammed the door in his face. She turned around, but was startled to see Riley right behind her. “Ahh! You scared me…”

“You know,” Riley said. “The day before the challenge, Griswold and I talked about your vote.”

“You don’t believe me?” Tessa asked.

“I believe you,” Riley replied. “But I also believe that you’re hiding something about it...”

Tessa gulped. “What? Why would you say that?”

“Are you working with Diamonique?” Riley asked.

Tessa sighed. “How did you figure it out?”

“Diamonique was the only one Griswold told about our plans to vote Kalino,” Riley replied. "You mentioned some eliminated peeps weren’t happy with him. They were on the same team. So she told you about the plan.”

"Yes,” Tessa sighed. “The first night we returned we made an alliance. She said we had a common enemy and I was desperate. That night she told me she couldn’t betray the Eagles, but if I voted with y’all…”

“Then Kalino would go home,” Riley surmised. “Sadly, she didn’t hear about the changes in plans.”

“Otherwise that punk wouldn’t be here,” Tessa said.

“Do you...do you think Kalino orchestrated Gris’ elimination?” Riley asked. “Gris didn’t like him or trust him.”

"That’s because Griswold is smart,” Tessa stated. “I hate to sound crazy and blame Kalino for every nasty elimination in this game...but I think Kalino was behind every nasty elimination in this game.”

Riley shrugged and flopped down against the bed.

“Are you going to be okay?” Tessa asked.

“Yeah,” Riley replied. “Soon I’ll be back to my chill myself. I just need a little bit a time. But I’m going to keep fighting.”


“Hmm,” Weston said, scratching in his notebook. “Tessa was going to vote for Kalino, just like we feared. But then again, Kalino said he had a plan and wasn’t worried. Was his plan to vote off Cynthia? But...why would he tell us to vote together? And if the Fireworks were voting for Kalino like Tessa believed, why would the Fireworks work with him? This doesn’t add up, and not just cause I’m bad at math…”


The next day, early in the afternoon, Vance and Xidorn walked into the hotel carrying a cage together.

“I can’t believe it!” Vance shouted, dropping his end of the cage.

Xidorn fell over. “I told you I didn’t think this trap was a great idea.”

“Well it was in that stupid book,” Vance replied. “We stocked it with all kinds of bait; carrots, oats, Equestrian magazines.”

“To be fair it did take the bait,” Xidorn admitted. “The horse just stole it...and left us an IOU. I’m pretty sure it’s taunting us at this point.”

“We’ve been outsmarted by a pony,” Vance said. “I’ve never been so humiliated.”

“Really?” Xidorn asked. “What about on the show?”

Vance scoffed. “When would I have been embarrassed on this show? I did make the merge.”

“What about the time Lita beat you? Or you threw up? Or Weston fed you with his feet...and you threw up again? Or that other time Lita beat you? Or that other, other time that Lita beat you? Or-”

“-I don’t remember any of those,” Vance stated. “Must be confusing me with Ness or something. Anyway, that horse doesn’t even have thumbs like us! Or six fingers on it’s hand neither!”

“We-”

“Let go! I said I hav t’ see dat lying, no good, rotten *******!”

Xidorn turned to see Toby escorting some redheaded lady out, as Rhonda and Jenny followed. She was dressed in a pink bathrobe and slippers, with curlers falling out of her hair and heavy makeup on her face. Most of her teeth were gone, and her face looked much older than she was.

“I have no idea who you are lady,” Rhonda replied. “but this is private property!”

“What’s going on?” Xidorn asked.

Vance’s eyes widened. “I think I left the stove on in my bathroom. I think we should-”

The woman jerked her head around and sneered. “You!”

Vance froze, staring at her. “Uh...who? Me?”

“Don’t you play dumb, you pig!” she shouted. “This where ya ben hidin’ Vancent?”

“Vancent?” Xidorn asked. “Vance, do you know her?”

“I’m his sister Cheryl!” the woman yelled, breaking free from his grasp. “I came here for my free stay!”

Rhonda rolled her eyes. “For the last time, you don’t get a-”

“I heard 'bout your episode,” Cheryl stated. “Them other kin of your little circus got to come. Well, I wasn’t invited! So I want me free room!”

She turned to Vance, stepping towards him and pointing her finger in his face. “And you! I want the money you owe me!”

“Owe you?” Vance asked. “I don’t owe you anything Cheryl! Uh...especially because I don’t know who you are stranger.”

“What’s going on?” Xidorn asked. “Are you from the ranch Vance grew up on?”

Cheryl turned to Xidorn. She started laughing and shaking her head. “Oh lord...is that what this idgit done tell ya? He ain’t from no ranch! Heck, he used to be scarred o’ pigs!”

“No I wasn’t!” Vance shouted. “That’s a lie!”

“A lie?” Cheryl asked. “Ya grew up in a trailer park! Ya ain’t got no ranch, no money. He done ain’t even finish school! He’s a joke!”

“N-no!” Vance shouted. “That’s not true!”

Cheryl rolled your eyes. “Pa knew you ran away. He don’t care; knew you wasn’t smart enough to do nothin’. But now it turns out ya have been working and living at a rodeo all these years? Ya haven’t sent us a single penny!”

“We don’t have time for this,” Rhonda stated. “We have to get to the challenge on time. Kick her out already.”

Toby nodded, grabbing Cheryl and hoisting her off. She tried to claw at Vance, but he stepped back and tried to get at him.

“You hear me Vancent!” she screamed. “I want my money!”

“I’m...I don’t owe you anything!” Vance yelled, wiping his eyes. “I don’t know you! I’ve never know you!”

“You can lie to all these people,” Cheryl shouted. “But no matter what you do, you’ll always be a screw-up. You know that.”

Toby took her out through the doors. Rhonda shook her head, telling Jenny to announce the challenge over the intercom before leaving to pull around the bus. Vance just stood there for a moment.

“Vance,” Xidorn said. “Are you...are you-”

“It ain’t true,” Vance stated, starting to tear up. “She...she’s lying. You know that, right?”

Vance looked up at Xidorn, but his friend couldn’t meet his eyes. “Vance, it’s not that-”

“Challenge time weenies!” Jenny announced. “Be at the bus in five minutes! Or you won’t make the final cut…”

Vance ran out of the door before Xidorn could say anything else.


The newcomers traveled through the streets at Washington. Xidorn looked to the back of bus, where Vance sat isolated from everyone else.

“Is Vance okay?” Weston whispered. “He looks...sad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him sad before.”

"It’s...hard to explain,” Xidorn replied, turning away. “I need to talk with him...when he’s ready.”


“Okay,” Weston said. “Maybe it’s just because I’m a detective now, but I think something is wrong with Vance and it has to do with Xidorn. Maybe Xidorn wants to die Vance’s mustache? Ooh! It could be light green and we could call it a pistach!”


The bus pulled up through some kind of movie or television studio.

“Are we doing a film challenge?” Xidorn asked.

“It’s not the aliens again?” Tessa sighed while cringing.

“If only,” Xidorn replied. “Maybe then you’d be voted off again.”

“Not to mention those aliens were super cool!” Weston stated.

Sooo cool,” Xidorn swooned. “But I'm guessing this might be a send up to a previous season. Our season has done a lot of those, especially to the original ‘Golden Age’ seasons.”

“Golden Age?” Lita asked.

“That’s a fan term for the original six or seven seasons,” Ness replied. “It’s when the show was at its peak popularity.”

“It was so big it had a spin-off, an aftermath,” Xidorn recalled, "and even a trading card game."

"So those foremost seasons are the most beloved?” Ignacio asked.

“More like the most well-known and remembered,” Xidorn stated. “I’m mixed to hate on most...but I admit to being pedantic fan.”

“I liked most of them,” Ness admitted. “Well...except season five.”

“There were a lot of seasons after that,” Weston stated. “I remember Easton and I use to marathon them till 2 am on Saturdays…”

“Did they ever do an American season before this?” Ignacio asked.

“I remember reading rumors on the Reddit page and the Wiki,” Xidorn recalled. “But the plug was pulled. Apparently it was bad. They even had-”

“Don’t talk about it.”

Everyone turned to look at Rhonda. “I just...we don’t want the audience to associate America and Total Drama as bad. We just got the ratings up!"

“Cut this bit out then,” Diamonique replied. “What was it?”

“One season had a contest where a fan won the chance to compete,” Xidorn stated.

Weston cringed. “Wait, that first boot? They were on the American season?”

“First boot?” Diamonique asked. “You mean the fan?”

Ness nodded her head. “This fan was the first American to be on the show in years...and they didn’t have a good time.”

"Viewers call them 'The First Boot Fan," Xidorn added.

"Creative," Tessa said.

“Rumor is the first boot was a part of the American reboot...I assume for promotional reasons,” Xidorn concluded.

“Exactly how many seasons are there?” Lita asked.

Ness tapped her chin. “Well, that depends on if you count spin-offs. Or the current airings seasons in Canada.”

“Man, this show started airing when we were kids,” Riley stated. “That just makes me feel old.”

Melissa scratched her head. “I thought Miss Rhonda said this was a reboot? The first season in years?”

Rhonda shifted in the driver’s seat. “Uhh...I never said that. I mean, well...those recent Canada seasons haven’t aired in the US. Most new TD seasons haven’t for along time. So, this is kind of a reboot for the States!”

“But I thought you said that-”'

“-Nope,” Rhonda replied. “Never said that.”

“Total Drama did stop airing for a period,” Xidorn stated. “Ever since the original host disappeared. But they aired the first new season in a long time last year.”

“You were working on the sequel to that season earlier this summer, right Rhonda?” Ignacio asked.

“Don’t remind me,” Rhonda replied.


Ness blushed as she stared off in the confessional. “I really liked Canada's last season. It was Christmas themed actually. And there were some uh...really cute guys. I heard a few were on the new season. I wonder if Rhonda could introduce us someday...for an autograph of course!”


“So you think this challenge will be based on an old one?” Diamonique asked.

Xidorn shrugged. “The second original season was themed around movies. It’s not loved by the fans, so I’m predicting this may only a tribute to the season.”

Rhonda slammed her foot on the brakes, throwing everyone out of their seats. “Once again, you’re correct Xidorn! A lot of old movie props that belong to the Total Drama brand are being moved to Japan. But first, they’re passing through here! So we’re using them for a challenge. I’ll explain more after you’ve changed.”

“Changed?” Ignacio asked. “Please don’t say we’re-”


Ignacio now stood outside a studio, wearing only a leopard print loincloth and a bone necklace like a caveman. “-wearing costumes.”

“I like them,” Lita stated. She was dressed in some kind of skin tight superhero suit, complete with a domino mask. “What’s not to love?”

Ignacio pulled down his loincloth. “I can’t imagine.”

Everyone had been dressed in a different outfit representing a movie genre.

Riley wore a tuxedo and dark sunglasses like a spy. Vance was dressed like an adventurer, including a a pith hat, big glasses, and an oversized, grey mustache over his own. Weston was a noir detective, even coated in makeup that made him look like he was in a black and white film.

Ness was dressed as a Christmas elf, befitting her size as the smallest newcomer. She had pointy ears, pointy shoes, and a pointy hat with a that was just a little too big for her head. Melissa’s was also a perfect pick, looking like a Disney princess in her pink ball gown and matching crown. Xidorn wore some kind of sci-fi space uniform, with makeup done on his forehead to make him like alien. He called himself a ‘knock-off Klingon’.

Diamonique was done up like a Western cowboy, but you could tell from the rhinestones on her outfit she added her own flair. Tessa was dressed like something from the sword and sandal genre, evoking a gladiator. Kalino meanwhile was a pirate, with an open puffy shirt, an eyepatch, a hat with a feather, and even a fake parrot on his shoulder.

Finally Jasper was dressed for a ‘Beach Movie’, which was apparently just wearing jams or swim trunks.

Jenny snickered, snapping photos. “I think you guys have never looked better.”

“Right?” Kalino asked, petting his parrot.

“As you can see you each have a different outfit from a different film genre,” Rhonda explained. “Because this challenge is a movie genre mash-up obstacle course!”

Everyone stared at Rhonda.

“I was waiting for clapping or gasping,” Rhonda stated.

Everyone kept staring.

“Fine,” Rhonda sighed. “Point is, beyond this starting line are different movie studios. Each studio has a different scene from a different movie genre, serving as obstacle. When you finish a scene, you’ll come across two doors leading to two different studios. Eventually, one studio will lead you to the final scene...a pirate ship.”

“You got an entire pirate ship?” Weston asked.

Rhonda nodded. “On the pirate ship there is a mast for each of you, with your own Jolly Roger. You’ll have to hoist it to the top. Whoever gets through the movie obstacle course and hoists their flag to the top first wins!”

Rhonda grabbed a clapperboard and clicked it shout. “Now...Action!”

The teens raced right over Rhonda and into one of the different studios. Rhonda twitched on the ground. “A...a little help.”

Jenny and Toby didn’t turn around as they sat in directors’ chairs and started eating cheeseburgers. “Sorry, lunch break! Union rules.”


Ness stopped as she came to the edge of a bubbling tar pit. It was some kind of prehistoric film set. The tar pit took up most of the floor, with dinosaur bones slowly starting to sink in.

“Phew,” Ness sighed. “I wouldn’t want to-”

“Geronimo!”

Weston rushed in, sliding and knocking Ness straight into the tarpit. “Oopsie. You okay?”

Ness emerged, coughing up tar. “Yeah...fine.”

Weston scratched his chin. “Hmm...as a detective, my deductive reasoning will help me solve this problem. Now the tarpit takes up the entire room...so we must have to swim through the tar!”

Weston dives into the tarpit.

“Uh...I think we were supposed to hop on the bones,” Ness said. “Like stepping stones.”

Oh,” Weston replied. “That makes more sense.”

“At least there-”

“Caaawww!”

Some kind of animatronic pterodactyl circled the tarpit. Weston and Ness shared a look before sinking back into the pit.


“Hmm.”

Melissa eyed some kind of large, metal platform in front of her. It was on a slope and looked like concrete, but was decorated with traffic cones, tires, and monkey bars.

“I’m not sure what genre this is supposed to be from,” Melissa admitted. “Is there a genre for traffic safety?”

Melissa started running up the slope...which began to shake underneath her. She just barely grabbed onto a flagpole.

“Oh dear,” Melissa said. “Well, it could be worse right?”

Suddenly, steaming red liquid started flowing.

Melissa climbed the pole. Taking off a glove, she dipped it in the red liquid. She removed it; the glove was fine.

She sniffed the glove, then licked it. “Is this...tomato soup? This must be to warn against eating scolding foods while driving. How thoughtful!”

“It’s a disaster movie.”

Ignacio ran by, trying to hold down his loincloth. “Earthquakes, lava, floods...that kind of stuff.”

“There is a whole genre for natural disasters?” Melissa asked. “Is it to teach safety?”

“That’s one way to look at it," the cave-stud replied.

Ignacio jumped up on a climbing wall to avoid a splurt of tomato soup. Large fans popped out of the ground and created a heavy gust, blowing Ignacio down...and his loincloth up.


“I’m beginning to think the idea of free choice is an illusion,” Ignacio admitted. “All of life is predestined. There is no way I was not going to get this costume or studio, was there?"


Riley and Xidorn raced each other into a studio, and right into a sandcastle. They looked out to see the next doors across an ocean set.

“Aww sweet!” Riley stated. “Why a beach though?”

“Probably the teen beach movie,” Xidorn replied. “Which means s-”

“Surfing!” Riley cheered, grabbing a surfboard from the side and diving out into the water.

“Well yes,” Xidorn stated. “But given this show, I was gonna say sharks.”

Riley turned around, only to see a shark missing a tooth waving at her. “Oh, sup SharkTales? Wait...have we met before?”

The shark snapped its jaw, tearing Riley’s board in half.

“Uh oh,” Riley stated.

“Have fun with that,” Xidorn stated as he surfed by.

Riley glared at him. The shark snarled, but Riley simply punched him in the nose before paddling on.


“Xidorn seems like a cool dude,” Riley stated. “But...I think we have a rivalry? It’s nothing personal of course…"


“...it’s just almost every challenge she tries to show me up,” Xidorn said. “For somebody who seems so chill…”


“...He’s kind of feisty,” Riley admitted. “It’s a little annoying...but kind of fun, you know? The little Haley Broel Osment.”


Vance rushed in an Old-West type saloon. Cardboard cutouts of cowboys popped up and down throughout the set. Vance frowned. He sat down at the bar.

Diamonique entered, then saw Vance and rolled her eyes.

“Giving up already?” she asked. “You must already know you won’t win.”

“Just get out of here,” Vance replied.

Diamonique shrugged and strutted on. A cardboard cutout popped up. As soon as Diamonique walked in front of it, she was shot by a water gun. She slid across the floor into a piano.


“If I was feeling better I would have laughed at that,” Vance sighed.


Lita ran into a studio, filled with painted sets of a pastel forest. She raced up a slope, but stopped as she approached a rope bridge suspended over a ginormous drop. She turned to a sign.

“Welcome to Ye Olde Obstacle,” Lita read. “You must cross this bridge...while wearing glass slippers?”

There was a cloud of pink, sparkling smoke that revealed a pile of shoe boxes.

She shrugged, kicking off her boots and pulling out a box. She saw the slippers inside and tried to shove her feet in...shattering them.

“Stupid princesses,” Lita complained. “They should just shop at Foot Locker like everybody else.”

Through the entrance, Tessa flew through and landed on her face. She stood up and shook the soot off her. “Running through a minefield? Really?”

“Oh **** no,” Lita said, trying to shove her feet in the slippers.

Tessa raced up the hill, just as Lita got a toe in. “Oh... hey Lita.”

“Don’t bother,” Lita replied.

“Look, I think we should talk,” Tessa said. “Especially after last night’s elimination.”

“I don’t need you rubbing it in my face,” Lita replied.

“I’m not going to do that,” Tessa said. “I get why you voted for me. I’m not upset about it.”

“Thanks for your permission,” Lita replied. “I’ll be sure to vote you off next time.”

“I-”

Lita managed to get her last foot in and ran off onto the bridge.

Tessa’s eyes grew wide. “Wait, Lita!”

“I’m not waiting and listening to your fake apology,” Lita shouted.

“But this bridge, it’s a-”

Suddenly Toby and Jenny descend from the sky in their own costume. They stand on tall stilts, with a single pair of large, ‘peasant’ clothes over them. They're two heads stuck of the shirt and their faces were painted green. There was a large club in Jenny’s hand.

“-Troll’s Bridge.”

“We prefer the term ogre,” Toby stated.

“As in, it’s all ogre for you!” Jenny laughed.

She swung her club at the surprised Lita, knocking her to the edge of bridge. She grabbed on with one hand, dangling over the edge. The tr...ogre stepped closer but was hit by a slipper.

“Hey, over here you diseased gnome!” Tessa shouted.

Jenny and Toby turned and started racing towards Tessa. She ran forward.

“Fe, Fi, Foe, Fum,” Jenny snarled. “I smell a loser who is dumb!”

She threw her club towards Tessa who ducked and grabbed it from the air. “And I’m the dumb one?”

Tessa ran forward, knocking their stilts with the club. The two stumbled, falling over the bridge. “I blame you for this Tobyyyyyy!”

She reached over and grabbed Lita’s hand just as she the knockout lost her grip. She hoisted Lita up onto the bridge.

“You saved me?” Lita asked.

“Of course I did,” Tessa replied. “I was a jerk, but I’m not a monster. I’m just not going to let you fall over a bridge!”

“What about us?” Toby called.

“What about you?” Tessa said.

Lita stood up and walked on. “Thanks...but don’t think this means it changes anything.”

“Yeah,” Tessa sighed.


“Okay, but it has to change something right?” Tessa asked. “I mean I got a thanks. That’s progress, huh?”


“I don’t know what’s more humiliating,” Lita said. “Being rescued by Tessa or attacked by a monster with Shrek puns.”


Melissa trudged through mud and under barbed wire on her hands and knees.

“I will say that these sets are very intricate,” Melissa said. “They did such a wonderful job making this stressful and uncomfortable! I hope they get a raise…”

“Ahhhhhh ****!” Kalino screamed as she was launched in the air from an explosion.

“Landmines?” Melissa asked. “How authentic!”


Jasper gulped, frozen in place as he balanced on one leg. He was in some kind of fancy, metallic vault. A drop of sweat fell from his forehead, revealing a red laser directly underneath him.

“I really shouldn’t hold it during challenges,” Jasper sighed.


Xidorn swung from a vine of a jungle set into the Western saloon set. He stopped, catching his breath, when he saw Vance sitting glumly at the bar.

"Another drink bartender," Vance called. 

A cardboard cutout popped up and sprayed him with a water gun. 

"Thank you kindly," Vance replied. 

"Vance?"

Xidorn sat next to him. "Vance, we need to talk."

"What do you want me to say?" Vance asked.

"The truth for starters," Xidorn stated. 

"The truth?" Vance asked. "The truth is...everything you heard Cheryl say is true. I didn't grew up on a ranch, I'm not an expert farmer or rancher or hunter...I'm just a poor, stupid kid who ran away from home to join the rodeo. I'm a fraud."

"Why did you lie to me?" Xidorn asked.

"Why would I want you to know the truth?" Vance asked. "That I'm so poor redneck trailer trash? I'm a nobody from nowhere! You know why my full name is Vancent? It's cause my dad couldn't spell Vincent right! That's where I come from...how could I be truthful if everyone knew that?"

Vance turned away. "That's the truth. I'm a stinkin liar and a loser. So, you can go."

"I'm not going," Xidorn replied.

"What?" Vance asked.

"I'm not leaving you," Xidorn said.

"Aren't you mad?"

"I'm furious you lied to me," Xidorn admitted. "But...I get why. Still, I don't care that you didn't come from the best home or that your family sucks. I care about you."

"But I'm still-

"-What your sister said today is not true; you aren't a screw-up," Xidorn said. "You aren't nothing either. You're better than the people you came from. You're funny. You're a rodeo champ. You've improved yourself. And you've been my friend."

"Am...am I still your friend?" Vance asked.

Xidorn playfully knocked Vance's forehead. "Duh! You're still my friend...and I'm still your deputy. As your deputy, I'm here to tell you to get back on your horse and go be the fearless, reckless, Western tough guy you are! I'll be right there with ya."

Vance jumped up from his seat. "You're right! Forget Cheryl or any of them. What defines me is what I've done, what I do! Right now I'm not gonna give up. And...I'm going to be honest. Let's go deputy; the challenge is still on!"

Vance ran forward, getting sprayed by everyone standee on the set and slipping out of the door. 

"He's back," Xidorn laughed. 


Riley shoved through the door. “Dude, yes!"

In front of her was a purple pirate ship. It looked like it been salvaged from a wreck. On the side of it were faded letters that said, "Pillaging..." On deck it was clear that more masts had been installed recently. While they were all purple, they weren't as worn as the rest of the ship.

From the same doors, Melissa rushed out. She patted the ruffles of her dress, putting out a small fire. "Oh my! What an amazing set. It almost looks like a real, sunken pirate ship!"

Riley and Melissa turned and stared directly at each for a moment. They nodded, then raced towards the pirate ship. Rope ladders had been thrown over the side, each choosing and climbing up one onto the deck. There were twelve masts, each with a flag.

Riley raced through, until finding a green flag that depicted a skull with several piercings wearing a wolf hat.

"They really captured my features well in this," Riley admitted. She began hoisting the rope attached to the mast.

"What a cute little skeleton," Melissa sighed, admiring her pink Jolly Roger that depicted a skull with her pigtails. She began hoisting it herself.

Rhonda and her cohorts raced in from a back entrance. "Looks like we've got a flag flying race. But only one flag can fly! And that is..."

Ding.

A bell sounded off as Melissa's flag reached full mast. Her mast rained down confetti as her Jolly Roger dancedd in the sky.

"Melissa!" Rhonda cheered. "Congratulations! You've won the movie genre mashup obstacle course!"

"Eeeeeeeeeee!" Melissa squealed, jumping up and down. "I did it, I did it, I did it! I actually did it! I won a challenge! Eeeeeeeee!"


"Eeeeeeeeee!" Melissa continued squealing. "I'm just so, so, excited! I didn't think I would ever win a challenge. But I did it! It just goes to show you can never give up. I'm not giving up now, no siree bob...and I think maybe could win the whole show? I mean, if I can win a challenge, why not?"


The newcomers gathered back outside of the studio, no longer in their costumes.

"Congrats again to Melissa!" Rhonda announced. "You have the penthouse suite. As an extra reward to tie into our movie project, you'll be having a special starring role in a future project!"

"Wait, you mean I'm going to be acting in a movie?" Melissa asked.

"It's a very hush-hush project," Rhonda replied. "But the director insisted that the winner of the challenge would get to play an important role in the production. More details on that in the future.

"For the moment though, what's most important is that you also have invincibility! I'd want to be you, because tonight you all will be sending someone home. You won't have much time once get back to the hotel, so act quickly..."


At the Haunted Internet Cafe, Rhonda eyed the newcomers. 

“This tray has eleven cups of lime sherbet flavored coffee,” Rhonda said. “It doesn’t taste as bad as it sounds; it’s actually worse. Still, after this will once again be down to half of you. The first cup goes to today’s winner Melissa.”

Melissa caught her cup in the front row. With her young roaches in her lap, she opened the coffee and let them have a whiff.

“Next is Kalino.”

He smirked and raised his cup to Tessa.

Lita, Vance.”

The two caught their cups.

“Ignacio, Riley.”

They nodded at each other. 

“Diamonique and Weston.” 

Weston inspected his coffee cup with his 'magnifying glass'. He took a sip and immediately spit it out on Diamonique.

"Ness and...Jasper.”

Jasper finally exhaled. Having been eliminated at his third ceremony last time and with no immunity this time, he had been crossing his fingers and praying before the ceremony. Rhonda took note and made sure to call him second to last.

“Finally, the last cup goes to…”
















“...Tessa. It’s bye, bye for Xidorn.” 

“What?” Vance exclaimed. “What in tarnation is this about?”

“Crap,” Xidorn sighed. “I was worried it was me.”

“You knew?” Vance asked.

Xidorn shrugged. “Something was up when Kalino got the early coffee. I figured Tessa would vote for him.”

“You don’t seem that sad,” Weston said.

“Oh, I’m devastated inside,” Xidorn admitted. “I just...it’s silly. But even coming home like this, I’m still kind of happy I actually got on my favorite childhood show.”

“I’m sorry,” Tessa said. “And honestly, I’m sorry about a lot. You’re a really sweet guy.”

Xidorn sighed. “I...I’m going to believe that was genuine. Good luck.”

Tessa smiled a little, but was immediately knocked over by Vance and Weston jumping up. 

Weston hugged Xidorn. “I’m going to miss talking about old horror movies with you.”

“Me too,” Xidorn replied. “But we’ll talk about them after the show.”

"Promise?” Weston asked.

“You know I never lie,” Xidorn replied.

“Ooh, maybe we can go on a double date with Seraphina and Cynthia!” 

“Yeah…”

Kalino and Xidorn fistbumped. “You’re were a righteous dude.”

"Right back at ya,” Xidorn replied. “Thanks for being there for me.”

Vance grabbed Xidorn and pulled him into a hug.

“Are you crying Vance?” Xidorn asked.

“What?” Vance sniffled. “I’m not...yeah. Yeah, I’m crying.”

“You’re going to make me tear up,” Xidorn admitted. 

“I can’t help it,” Vance replied. “I’m losing my little deputy...and my best friend.”

“No, you’re not,” Xidorn said. “It sucks leaving like this, but we’re going to hang out after this. You said it yourself, we’re best friends. We’re never going to lose each other.”

Vance smiled. “Thanks Xi. For everything.”

“I still don’t get why Xidorn though,” Weston said.


Before the elimination ceremony...

Lita, Diamonique, Ness and Melissa met inside the luxury suite.

“So it’s official then?” Melissa asked.

“Mmmhmm,” Lita replied.

“Yeah...I think so,” Ness said. “Let’s do it.”

Melissa held out her hand. The others proceeded to join theirs on top of her hand. They threw them up in the air together, shouting “Girls' Alliance!”

“This is so thrilling,” Melissa laughed. “So um...now what?”

“We decide which boy to boot first,” Diamonique replied. 

“Not Ignacio!” Ness blurted out. “Uh, I just mean-”

"No I get’cha ya,” Diamonique replied. “We have to keep those abs around. They’ll motivate us.”

“I don’t want us to vote off our friends right away,” Melissa said. “If we can help it. Personally I’d love to keep Vance around.”

The other ladies turned to Melissa. 

“He’s actually very sweet,” Melissa explained. “Out of the old Eagle Boys, he’s been very respectful and supportive to me.”

“Okay,” Lita replied. “But like, is there someone else on your team named Vance? Like Xidorn or Kalino are actually named Vance and went by their middle name to avoid confusion?”

“Maybe we could all just vote Tessa again,” Ness suggested. 

"We need numbers,” Diamonique stated. “Which means we need to vote off the boys till they’re too late to realize our alliance. It’s got to be a guy going home tonight.”

“So...which guy?” Ness asked.

Diamonique smirked. “I know who. Someone we know doesn’t have a flash drive, meaning they can’t save themselves.”

“How will we know?” Melissa asked. 

"Because they say so,” Diamonique replied. “And they never lie…”


Diamonique barged into Tessa’s room, who was talking with Riley. 

“I’m here to talk game and eat churrios,” Diamonique stated. “And I already eat all the churros.”

“Could you knock first?” Tessa scoffed.

“Fine,” Diamonique replied. “Then I guess I won’t tell you how I’ve heard your name tonight.”

“You just did,” Tessa replied.

“I just want to help you out Tessa,” Diamonique said. “We may have never worked together before-”

“-I figured out you two were in an alliance,” Riley stated.

“Oh,” Diamonique said. “Well...you want to join?”

“Really?” Riley asked. “Just like that?”

“The more the merrier,” Diamonique replied. “If Tessa likes you, then I’m down.”


“I’m not sure how to feel about Diamonique,” Riley admitted. “Except about her beret; that’s just cool. But it wouldn’t hurt...at least I could find out more info from her.”


Riley shrugged. “Sounds cool dude.”

“So Tessa’s name has been thrown around,” Diamonique said. “But I’ve also heard Xidorn.”

“Why Xidorn?” Tessa asked.

Diamonique shrugged. “He’s a social threat I guess. Xidorn maybe our best bet tonight.”

“What do I have to lose at this point,” Tessa replied. 

“Aww, I kind of enjoying kicking his butt,” Riley admitted. “Oh well…”


At the elimination ceremony...

Diamonique shrugged. “Who can say?”

“I get you are all sad and stuff,” Rhonda interrupted, “but I do have to pay the driver, so can we start wrapping these up quicker?”

Vance tossed his coffee cup at Rhonda’s head. “I hope you blow the whole budget on it.”

“She’s right...for once,” Xidorn admitted. “I need to go. I’ll tell everyone you miss them! Good luck, don’t stop fighting. Honestly...it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done!”

He waved goodbye one last time, giving a thumbs-up to Vance before exiting the door.


Vance sighed, placing his cowboy hat over his chest. “I was worried after...after I told Xidorn the truth, we’d never see each other again. I just go back to the rodeo and he’d keep living his life until he forgot who I was. But I know we will. He promised we would. And he doesn’t lie.”


Xidorn took a seat in the front of The Public Transportation of Losers. 

“I wonder,” Xidorn said out loud, “how was I eliminated? Maybe the remaining Fireworks actually teamed up and voted for me. Not sure why me though...maybe instead of the biggest threat, they went with the easiest option. They’d still need a swing vote. The guys wouldn’t vote for me, so...probably Diamonique. I should have been proactive with strategy I guess…”

He sighed and slumped against his chair, before shrugging. He grabbed his backpack from the ground, when a letter fell out. Reaching for it, Xidorn frowned.

“Oh yeah,” Xidorn said. “My dad’s letter. He said read it when it felt right…”

Xidorn opened the envelope, pulling out a letter.

Dear Xidorn,

I I’m not the best at speaking. I’m not the best with feelings. I never have been. Now, I regret it. Because I want to let you know something. How proud I am to be your father. 

I know we don’t always get along. But I’m proud of the person you are. Watching you on this show, I was reminded how kind, smart, and passionate you are. You don’t give up in your beliefs or who you are. Too many people do. I did once. Never stop being who you are.

You’ve grown up so much. I’m proud of the man you are. I’m proud you’re my son.

From,

Your Father

Xidorn lifted up his glasses and wiped his eyes. “I love you too dad.”

Chapter 18 The Ghost Dangerous Game[]

It was a dark and stormy night. The rain was coming down harder than it had since the show started, bringing just as terrible wind and lightning with it. Even the busy streets of Washington were abandoned. No one should have been out…

Alone in her secret office, Rhonda was on the phone with the executives again.

“Guests to the hotel?” Rhonda asked. “Someone on one of your other shows needs refugee? Of course the Pentagram is open for them! Who is it? ...Hello? Hello?”

Rhonda rolled her eyes as she sat the phone down in the receiver.

“The phone lines must have been knocked out. Oh well, I have a challenge to get ready for…”

Rhonda stood up. She unlocked her file cabinet and started looking for a file.

Creak.

Rhonda turned to the door. “Jenny? Toby?”

An eerie, shadowy figure stepped forward...and pulled out a blade.

Rhonda gasped and let out a scream. “Ahhh! Oh god, my mother was right; I would be the first person killed off by a serial killer.”


In the dining hall, most of our newcomers sat enjoying their dinner. Vance slurped down a bowl of grits. Melissa smiled, grabbing it and replacing it with another. 

“Glad to see you’re feeling good again man,” Kalino said. 

“I’ve been sad enough about Xidorn for the past couple of days,” Vance replied. “I don’t got time to be sad. I have too many challenges to win!”

“It’s so marvelous the challenge was cancelled today,” Melissa said. “Even if an outdoor fire-dancing volcano luau sounds fun.”

“Does anyone else think that’s strange?” Ignacio asked. “Rhonda just happened to plan a challenge that specifically needs to be outside and it happens to pour.”

“Rhonda would pay attention to weather,” Ness agreed. 

“Maybe she just didn’t predict it?” Jasper suggested. 

“You need to stop being so paranoid Iggy,” Riley said. “You and your Rhonda theories are cracked more than a mama’s back.”

“I know, I know,” Ignacio replied. “I’ve given up trying to figuring out Rhonda’s secret.”

“Rhonda’s secret?” Vance asked.

Ignacio nodded. “You know, how someone like her gets her own show, how she knows the network, knows a few celebrities.”

“It’s probs just that Canadian show she hosted,” Lita replied.

Vance scratched his chin. “Hmm, maybe I can seduce it out of Rhonda. After the show of course.”

Tessa gagged. “The image I had was not meant to be thought.”

“Pardon me everyone,” Melissa stated. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to bring Weston dinner.”

“What has that boy been up to?” Vance asked. “I hope he’s not too down.”

“Dude’s been marathoning detective stuff in our room for forever,” Riley said.

“I leant him all the mystery movies and DVDs in the penthouse,” Melissa explained. “He wanted them so he can learn how to solve mysteries.”

“What about Diamonique?” Ness asked.

“She said she’d be coming,” Melissa recalled. “I guess she’s really enjoying the amenities of the luxury suite.”


Diamonique sat sprawled out on a bed, feeding herself bonbons as a shirtless, blond butler gave her a foot rub. “Oh yeahhh...that’s it. Now Hunkenstein, go draw my bath. Mama wants to use those exotic soaps. And bring me some exotic soup to eat too…”

The butler bowed. “It would be my pleasure madame.”

“I know it."


Inside his room, Weston scribbled notes. “Hmm...I wonder if I need to carry a purse?”


“To solve the mystery of the Cynthia Saboteur I need to learn how to be a better detective,” Weston explained. “Once Kalino pointed out I’m not a dog, I decided to learn from human detectives! I went to the library and rented a book about the greatest detective there is; Sherlock Holmes...then I gave up after the first two pages. It was boring, and I don’t even speak British.

“So I started watching these old detective shows. I’ve been marathoning Murder She Wrote. It’s the story of widowed mystery writer J.B. Fletcher, who becomes a world famous detective with her intuition and elaborate ways to get confessionals. I’m learning a lot. Like apparently clues aren’t things with question marks or blue pawprints. Who knew?"


BOOM.

The lights went out. 

There was the sound of a scuffle, then something shattering. 

“Ahhhhhhh!” 

“What was that?”

“Huh?”

“I have a bad feeling about this…”

The lights came back on. 

All the newcomers from the kitchen sprinted to the lobby, only to find Melissa shaking and standing over a shattered bowl. The carpet had a giant red stain.

“Are you okay Melissa?” Ness asked.

Melissa trembled. “I...I saw the butler at the end of the hall. Then the lights went out and when they came back on...he was being dragged off by some sinister someone!”

Lita gulped. “Oh no, oh no!”

“Don’t tell me,” Kalino said. “This stain is…”

“Yes,” Melissa replied. “Gourmet Vietnamese plum pho soup. The stain will never come out!”

Ness grabbed Melissa and pulled her into a hug.

Weston ran down the stairs. “Hey, what did I miss?”

“You know what happened to that shirtless blonde beefcake, don’t you?” Lita asked. 

“What?” Vance asked.

“Chicken butt,” Kalino whispered. The two snickered.

“He was got!” Lita cried out. “By the ghost of the serial killer who made this hotel!”

CRACK.

“Mannnn,” Kalino sighed. “That...is a mouthful. Can’t we call him something simpler?” 

“The Phantom of the Pentagram?” Jasper suggested.

I like it!” Kalino agreed. Everyone else nodded. 


“People can actually hear me!" Jasper said smirking. "I have no idea if they know where that voice is coming from, but it’s a step up!”


“I didn’t know you were scared of ghosts,” Riley said. 

I’m not scared of flying bed sheets,” Lita replied. “I am scared of serial killers. Are y’all not? They kill multiple times. And there are multiple of us!”

“Not to mention he could affect our breakfast!” Vance shouted.

“What’s everyone screaming about?”

Jenny and Toby walked in from the back.

“Melissa saw the butler blitzed by an unknown assailant,” Ignacio explained. 

“I thought he was attacked by the Phantom of the Pentagram?” Weston asked.

“Wait,” Jasper said. “We can check the cameras! They must have recorded who did that.”

“Yeah no,” Jenny answered. “The cameras are out.”

“What?” everyone asked.

“The lightning knocked out the Internet,” Toby explained. “We can’t pull up the camera footage without it.”

“How does that work?” Ignacio asked. 

“We’d call someone to fix it, but the phone lines are out too,” Jenny said. “Plus, the storm is interfering with our cell service.”

“Wow, we can’t reach anyone,” Weston said. “Just like a horror movie!”

“We need to get out here,” Lita stated. “Let’s get the bus!”

“You want us to drive in that weather?” Toby asked. “We’d probably crash and die.”

“We die if we leave or if we stay,” Lita replied. “And I’m not staying!”

Lita walked over and threw open the doors. Before she stepped out, a gargoyle statue fall in front of the door. It was then struck with lightning. Then struck with lightning again. Then crows came to peck at it. Then they were struck with lightning. And caught on fire, before being washed away in the rain.

Lita slammed the doors. “On a second thought, I don’t even have an umbrella.”

"There is no reason to freak out,” Jenny said. “Completely unrelated, has anyone seen Rhonda?”

“You haven’t?” Ness asked.

“It’s not my job to keep up with her,” Jenny replied. “I’m not a zookeeper. Heehee, get it? Get it? Cause she’s like an animal…”

“Ohhhhh,” Kalino replied. “Wait...I don’t get it.”

“Rhonda was supposed to meet us to discuss planning a new challenge,” Toby said. “She never showed. Last I saw she was on the phone in her office. It’s not like her to miss something so important…”

“Stop, stop, stop,” Ignacio stated. “You mean that Rhonda happens to disappear, along with the butler. On challenge day, when we happen to have the challenge cancelled?”

“Yeah,” Toby replied. “That’s one way of looking at it…”

“Don’t you get it everyone?” Ignacio asked. “This is a challenge!”

“To see if we live or die?” Lita asked. “I didn’t sign up for The Hunger Games!”

“Ignacio is right,” Ness said. “The old show always had a horror themed challenge at least once a season. This must be ours.”

“What was the Invaders challenge then?” Vance asked.

"I guess that counts,” Ness replied. “But it was also sci-fi horror…”

“A challenge would be a cool tie-in promotion for the hotel,” Kalino said. “They’re all about that promoting.”

“If it was the ghost of a serial killer it probably would have killed the butler,” Riley said. “Instead it dragged him off.”

“The ghost is probably just an intern trying to capture us for the challenge,” Weston added.

“I’d try to convince you that it’s not a challenge,” Jenny said. “But Rhonda’s not here, so I don’t have to pretend to care about what you do. Some go ghostbusting or whatever.”

“Let’s see if we can get the Internet back online,” Toby stated. “If anyone of you die, try not to make a mess.”

The two walked off. 

“Are we sure this is a challenge?” Melissa asked.

“Without a doubt,” Ignacio replied.

Melissa nodded. “Okay, then how do we end it?”

“It probably won’t end till only one person is left,” Weston said.

Lita clutched Jasper’s arm.

“Or we catch this corny killer and end the challenge by unmasking him,” Riley suggested. 

“So this is a mystery!” Weston cheered. “Time for that Murder She Wrote to payoff!” 

“What should we do?” Melissa asked.

“We need to split up and search for clues!” Weston stated. 

“You want us to split up?” Lita asked. “I thought you said you watched horror movies?”

“Yeah, but this is a mystery,” Weston answered. “So splitting up should be fine.” 

“I’m not searching this hotel waiting to run into a serial killer,” Lita said. “Let’s just wait it out in the kitchen.”

Ness shook her head. “Sorry Lita...”

“Ness?” Lita asked.

“I want to try to win it,” Ness replied. “I’m going to try and hunt this serial killer down.”

“I’ll go with you!” Ignacio stated. “Uhh...just to make sure you’re safe.”

Ness smiled. “Thanks Iggy.”

“If anyone is winning this challenge it’s me,” Vance stated. “I’m going to hogtie this serial killer.”

"You can’t catch a horse,” Tessa said. “How can you catch a ghost?”

“I’ll help you dude,” Kalino stated. “We should check Rhonda’s secret office. The one she thinks no one knows about. It maybe where she was last.”

“Aww, I wanted to check the crime scene,” Weston sighed.

“You should check the library,” Kalino said. “Maybe you’ll find a clue in one of those books.”

“I’ll join you Weston,” Melissa said. “It could be fun to search a library while a ghost plots to kill us!”

"We can meet up in like an hour?” Kalino suggested. “That way we can compare notes.”

“I’m not going,” Lita stated. 

Ness frowned. “But Lita-”

Lita shivered. “I...I just hate serial killers. I want you to go Ness, but I just can’t. I’m staying in the dining hall. Will someone...please come with me?”

“I’ll go,” Tessa said.

“Really?” Lita sighed

“You don’t have to talk to me,” Tessa said. “But you don’t have to be alone.”

“I’ll go too,” Jasper said. “It’ll be safer if they’re more of us.”

“What are you going to do Riley?” Ignacio asked.

Riley opened her mouth, but her stomach growled first. “Apparently, I’m going to find a bathroom.”

She ran off towards a toilet.

“Don’t bother with the downstairs one,” Kalino called. “It’s still clogged!”

“So it sounds like we all have a plan,” Ignacio stated.

“Yes,” Melissa said. “But I can’t help but feel we’re forgetting something…”


Diamonique sat in the tub with her arms crossed, her bubble bath underway. “How long does it take to make soup?”


Weston and Melissa entered the library.

“So what are we looking for?” Melissa asked.

“Usually a clue will be something that seems out of place,” Weston explained. 

Melissa looked around at the dusty room, books stacked in random piles and shelves missing books. “Oh dear.”

Weston dropped to the floor and began moving on his hands and knees. Melissa tiptoed around the shelves. The younger twin scanned the room, when he noticed a spilled waste basket.

“I think I may have found a clue,” Weston said. 

Melissa followed him to the trash can. “How do you know?” 

“This place is a mess,” Weston said. “But it’s kind of intentionally so, you know? It’s supposed to be spooky. These trash cans are new and usually well kept. Someone must have spilled it recently...meaning someone was in here recently!”

“Wow, that’s clever!” Melissa said. “You’re a really good detective.”

"Aww thanks,” Weston replied. “I’m still learning, but I think I actually get it! Just goes to prove watching too much TV is a good thing. Now, let’s see if this trash has any clues about who was here.”

He sifted through the trash, mostly junk. At the top of the basket was a crumpled ball of paper. Uncrumpling it, it appeared to be some sort of chart. In big orange letters it said, ‘KALINO’S PLAN’.

“What...what is that?” Melissa asked.

Under the heading, it had a series of doodles. First was a drawing of Cynthia that had a big red X over it. Then a similar picture of Griswold, then Xidorn and then…

“Is that me?” Melissa asked. “Then you.”

"Do I really look like that?” Weston asked.

“I think this is some kind of voting chart,” Melissa said. “Which means...that Kalino voted for Cynthia! And he’s going to vote for us next…”

“If it’s really his,” Weston said.

“Huh?” Melissa asked.

“I’m just...not sure about this,” Weston replied. “We should show the others after the challenge.” 

Melissa nodded, folding it and putting in in her pocket. “I guess we need some clues about this mystery…”

The two began scanning the bookshelves. Melissa went over to one bookshelf. Removing the only red book in a shelf of green books, she activated a revolving bookcase. From behind the shelf, a hand reached out and grabbed her. “Wes-”

“Huh?” Weston said.

He turned around to see that Melissa had disappeared. 

“Aw ****,” Weston stated. 


Another secret passage was activated in the penthouse suite, as the hearth in it revolved and revealed a stairway. Up the stairway walked a tall figure, well-dressed in black. His face was obscured by his coat’s popped up collar. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a blade. 

From the bathroom, water was heard running. A beautiful voice was singing. The figure approached the door and knocked. 

“Is that my soup?” Diamonique asked. “Finally! Come on in!”

He kicked in the door, raising his blade in the air.

“Ahhhhh!” Diamonique cried. 

Screech, Screech, Screech, Screech, Screech, Screech, Screech.

Diamonique waved her finger. "Look, can I least finish bathing before you do the whole stabbing thing?”

“Of course,” the Phantom replied. “I’m a psychopathic killer, not rude.”


Vance and Kalino stood outside Rhonda’s office. Slowly, they opened the door and peered it. It was a total mess. All the desk drawers were open, files and papers were thrown and scattered all across the room. 

“Do you think Rhonda was attacked or this place is just usually a dump?” Vance asked. 

“Hard to tell,” Kalino replied. “It is Rhonda.”

The two stepped in and began rummaging through it. 

“This looks like more than a kidnapping or murder,” Kalino stated. “Whoever was here was looking for something.”

Vance picked up a file on the ground labeled “Rhonda”. He flipped through it and his eyes grew wide. “No way...she’s…”

“Did you find something?” Kalino asked.

Vance tossed the file aside. “Uh, just a bunch of boring contracts. You?”

“Well there’s that,” Kalino said.

"What?” Vance asked.

Kalino motioned him to come closer. In Vance’s ear he whispered, “Chicken butt.”

The two snickered. They exited the office.

“We may not have found any clues,” Vance said, “but at least we didn’t find that killer. Right Kalino?”

Vance turned around to see one of Kalino’s flip-flops alone on the ground. 


Ness and Ignacio walked through the hallways. Ignacio looked over at Ness. She caught him and raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry,” Ignacio said. “I just...are you okay?”

Ness shrugged. “Relatively speaking, I’m good for someone trying to catch a serial killer’s ghost in a possibly haunted hotel designed as a deathtrap. Why?”

“You’ve just been quiet,” Ignacio admitted. “You have been for awhile. I understand why Lita has been keeping her distance, but you didn’t even tell me about Xidorn’s elimination.”

“It was...uh... a last minute idea,” Ness replied. “Melissa told me about it. What happened with you and Lita anyway?”

Ignacio looked away. “It’s...I don’t know if I have the right to say. I just hope she’s not mad at me.”

“I think she’s madder at herself,” Ness replied. “Especially at Gris’ elimination.”

“I think we’re going to be upset about that till the show is over,” Ignacio said.

“Griswold was our leader,” Ness admitted. “He was like a rock.”

Ignacio nodded. “He kept us together.”

“The teams have ended for a while,” Ness said. “But it’s just been sinking in now that the Fireworks are really over. We really are on our own now.”

“Not really,” Ignacio replied. “I mean, we’re doing this together.”

“But at some point we might have to vote each other off,” Ness stated.

Ignacio grabbed Ness’ shoulder. “I promise I won’t vote you off Ness. I don’t want you to go home.”

“Don’t promise me that,” Ness replied. “Someone already did and couldn’t keep it.”

“I’m not Pascal,” Ignacio said.

"And I don’t want you to sacrifice your game for me or something like that,” Ness stated.

Ness turned her back to Ignacio and walked forward.

“If Griswold was here,” Ignacio said, “I’m sure he’d say something like even if the teams are done, we’re still the Fireworks. We’re always part of that, no matter what.”

Ness smiled. “Thanks Ignacio.”

The two stopped as they reached the end of the hall.

“Not a trace of this so called phantom,” Ignacio said.

“Ghosts are invisible and can’t touch things,” Ness said. “So it makes sense.”

The two failed to notice a sinister figure sneaking into someone’s room…


In the dining hall, Tessa stood by the door with a frying pan in hand. Lita and Jasper sat at a nearby table.

“What are you doing over there?” Lita asked.

“Keeping an eye out for that creep,” Tessa replied. “If he shows up, I’ll flatten his face like a pancake.”

“I thought you were all against violence,” Lita said.

“Uhhh...I am,” Tessa replied. “But he started it!”

“Well...thanks Tessa,” Lita stated.

Tessa grinned and nodded, holding her pan ready.

Lita sighed, grabbing her scarf again.

“Do you want anything to eat?” Jasper asked.

“For once I’m not hungry,” Lita replied. “But listen, thanks for being here with me.”

“Of course,” Jasper said. “And about the Gris vote-”

“I’m not mad at you anymore,” Lita stated. “I can’t stay at mad you, for some reason or another."

Jasper blushed, muttering something before standing up and heading to the kitchen. 

“It’s almost been an hour,” Tessa stated. “Where is everyone?”

“At least we’re safe in here,” Lita stated.

The lights went out. 

“Oh, **** you!”

An eerie but harmonious noise began playing. The lights turned back on.

“Is everyone okay?” Tessa asked.

“Fine,” Lita sighed.

“I think I’m alive,” Jasper replied, running back into the dining hall.

The chandelier started shaking as did all the plates. Lita fall out of her seat as her table levitated.

Jasper gulped. “It’s the g-g-g-g-g-g...ghosts!”

Vance ran through the door. “Hey, so I-”

“Hiya!” Tessa screamed, slamming her pan into Vance’s face. “Ooh. Oops.”

Vance fall to the floor.

Bird-blood, feather-blood, spider-blood, fly-blood…

“Who was that?” Lita asked.

“Maybe it’s somebody on the PA system?” Jasper suggested. “You know...reading a recipe or sharing a poem?”

Bird-blood, feather-blood, spider-blood, fly-blood, Bird-blood, feather-blood, spider-blood, fly-bloodRound about the cauldron go; in the poisoned entrails throw…Toad, that under cold stone, days and nights hast thirty one sweltered venom sleeping got…boil thou first i’ the charmed pot!

“So it is a recipe?” Lita asked.

Ye demons fell, with yelp and yell, shed curses far afield. Ye fiends of night, your filthy blight in noisome plenty yield! We accept her. One of us, one of us; Gooble-gooble, gooble-gooble! Hey…I just met you…and this is crazy…but here’s my number…SO CALL ME MAYBE! MWAHAHAHAHA! HA! HA! HA! Ha.”

“It’s some kind of evil, demonic chanting!” Tessa yelled.

“Look at the walls!” Lita stated.

“Eww,” Tessa said. “Their oozing slime...well new slime.”

“But it’s spelling something,” Lita said.

The black liquid-like slime started forming a message; YOUR ALL READY DEAD.

“Oh god,” Tessa gasped. “They used the wrong you're! That's basic grammar! Do these ghosts not have English classes in the afterlife?”

“I’m more worried about the dying part,” Lita stated. “Do you think it’s just like…ketchup or something?”

Jasper approached the wall. Slowly he poked the ooze. He licked a little bit off his finger and his face immediately soured.

“This is not ketchup,” Jasper gagged.

“You mean...it’s blood?” Lita asked.

“Worse,” Jasper. “It’s...frosting.”

“That’s all?” Tessa asked.

“No. It’s...it’s...it’s black licorice flavored!” Jasper cried out, falling to his knees.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” All three of them screamed.

“We have to get out of here!” Lita cried.

The dining hall doors slammed shut. The candles started floating off the table. Tessa ducked as plates started to be thrown around the room.

“Let’s hide in the kitchen,” Jasper yelled. “There might be a way out.”

The three dragged a still unconscious Vance back into the kitchen.

“Phew,” Tessa sighed.

“We’re still trapped,” Lita said. “Any ideas where an exit would be?”

“Have you tried the meat locker?”

From the freezer stepped out the shadowy figure...

“I hope you’ve enjoyed living here,” he said, in a distorted voice. “Because I’m offering a full-time stay.”

“It’s the Phantom of the Pentagram!” Lita shouted.

“Sorry, but I haven’t enjoyed my stay,” Jasper said. “You could use some better service.”

Jasper tossed a plate at the Phantom’s face, knocking him down to the ground. He stood up, revealing his face...now a withered skull. He brandished his knife.

“I insist that all my guests leave with a smile,” the Phantom said. “Allow me to give you one. Permanently.”

Tessa jumped up, standing between the Phantom and the others. “Go!”

“What are you doing?” Lita asked.

“I’m slowing him down,” Tessa replied. “Now grab Vance and get out of here while you can!”

The Phantom chuckled. “It doesn’t matter. None of you will be leaving this hotel.”

“Let’s dance you Scream knock-off!” Tessa yelled.

Lita and Jasper grabbed Vance by the arms and ran back out into the dining hall.

“The doors are still locked,” Lita sighed.

“We’ll have to bust it down,” Jasper said. “We just need something to use as a battering ram.”

The two looked around, until both were looking at Vance in-between them.

Tessa grabbed a kitchen knife from a nearby drawer. “News flash; there are knives all over this kitchen? Do you think you really scare me?”

The Phantom shrugged, tossing aside the knife and holding up his hands. A chainsaw fell from the ceiling into his arms. He revved it up, raising it above his head.

“Okay, maybe that scares me."

Jasper held up Vance at the front while Lita was in the back. They ran forward and rammed him into the door, busting through the dining hall.

“Thank god he has such a hard head,” Lita sighed.


Lita and Jasper ran to Lita’s room and slammed the door. They found Ness, Weston and Ignacio in there. They threw Vance on the bed and dropped to the floor.

“What happened to you?” Weston asked.

“What do you think?” Lita asked.

“Um...fun new exercise routine?” Weston asked.

“Where is Tessa?” Ignacio asked.

“She saved us from the ghost,” Lita sighed.

“I think this might actually be a horror movie now,” Weston said.

“You think?” Lita asked.

“Grrrr…” Vance sighed, coming to. “Why does my head hurt so much?”

Lita and Jasper shared a look. “Uhhhh…”

“We need to do something!” Ness stated. “This ghost has already got Melissa and Tessa."

“And Kalino,” Vance sighed.

“I haven’t seen Riley either,” Ignacio admitted.

“Or Diamonique,” Jasper said. “Wait...do you think she’s still in the penthouse suite?”

“Only one way to find out,” Weston said.

Weston’s stomach grumbled. “And fast. I haven’t eaten dinner yet…”

“I think we need to set a trap for our phantom,” Ignacio stated.

“That means we’ll need bait,” Weston said. "If this is a horror movie, then there’s one kind of bait that our killer can’t resist.”

“What?” Lita asked.

“A couple making out!” Weston stated.

Everyone immediately blushed.

“Lita and Iggy should make out,” Weston said. “They’re the hottest!”

Lita and Ignacio both looked at each other and turned away.

“We can’t do that,” Lita stated. “For a lot of reasons.”

“As the third hottest person, and perhaps hottest given my personality, I volunteer myself as bait,” Vance stated.

“Okay,” Weston said. “Then Vance and Ignacio will make out! Ness and I will activate the trap when the killer shows up!”

Ignacio sighed and facepalmed. “I guess if we don’t have another option.”

“Relax,” Vance said. “I’m an amazing kisser.”

Lita stood up. “While y’all do that, Jasper and I will find a new place to hide.”

“Actually,” Jasper said, “I think we should investigate the penthouse suite.”

Lita shook her head. “Jasper, I can’t! This is too much for me...I’m too scared.”

Jasper reached out and grabbed Lita’s hand. “I know. I’m...I’m actually really scared too. That’s why I need you to come with me. And that’s why I’ll be there for you. We’ll do it together.”

“...Okay,” Lita replied, nodding.

Ness, Ignacio, Weston, and Vance all shared a look.


The four began planning their trap. Grabbing the sheets from Lita and Ness’ beds, they headed to the game room. Ignacio grabbed tools and got to work on re-configuring some of the games to help with their plan.

“Alright,” Ignacio said, standing up from the skee ball machine. “Now I guess all that’s left is for Vance and I to…”

“Head to smooch city?” Weston asked.

“Why do we have to this again?” Ignacio asked.

“Cause slasher movie villains hate make-out sessions," Weston replied. “Slashers are like nuns...with anger issues. The only lust they like is bloodlust.”

Ignacio shrugged. “I guess let’s just get it over with.”

“Ooh, flirt with each other too,” Weston stated. “He’ll hate that.”


“I’m not really comfortable making out with anyone,” Ignacio stated. “But with Vance? I think I’d prefer to meet the killer than kiss that mustache.”


Weston and Ness slunk off to their corners, leaving its secret passage open.

Vance jumped on top of the bill table and struck a model pose.

“Hey hot stuff,” Vance said with a wink. “Are those space pants? Cause your butt is out of this world.”


“Yeah,” Vance said, “I’m an expert flirt. I have to keep my admirers back by hitting them with a stick. Some of them like it. I just hope Ignacio doesn’t fall hopelessly in love with me.”


Ignacio shuddered. “Uhh...your face is like a...pineapple?”

“Pineapple?” Vance asked.

“Cause it’s...so sweet,” Ignacio replied.

Vance smirked. “Aww. Why don’t you come here and give me so sugar?”

Ignacio shuddered again but slowly got closer to Vance. The two got closer and closer...until Ignacio backed away.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Ignacio stated.

“Oh, I get it,” Vance said. “You’re worried my kiss will be too powerful. It tends to be.”

Ness stood up. “Vance, why don’t you work the trap. I think Ignacio might want something a little less…”

“Euphorically sexual?” Vance asked.

“Sure,” Ness replied.

Vance shrugged and walked off. Ignacio started blushing deeply as Ness approached.

“Are...are you sure?” Ignacio asked. “Not that I mind. Not that I want to kiss you either! Not that you aren’t kissable, you’re really cute...I mean objectively speaking.”

Ness blushed. “Um, thanks? I’ve never actually kissed anyone before, but it’s for the challenge. And we’re in this together. So...let’s do it.”

Ignacio started blushing even more. Ness stood on her tipy-toes but still couldn’t reach Ignacio. She sat on top of the billiards table as Ignacio knelt down. He wiped off the sweat from his forehead. The two leaned in closer…

“I found you!”

The Phantom of the Pentagram jumped through the door, right before the two kissed.

“Really?” Ignacio asked. “Now?”

“Now!” Weston shouted.

Vance and Weston turned the skee ball machines to the door and hit the start button. The machines started pelting the Phantom with balls. He dropped his chainsaw as he fall to the floor. Once the machines ran out of balls, Weston and Vance ran around the ghoul and tied them up in the sheets.

“We did it! We did it! We did it!” Ness cheered.

“Yeah, but we have one problem,” Weston said.

“What?” Ness asked.

“Chicken butt,” Vance said, laughing to himself.

“Oh,” Weston said. “I guess that. I was talking about that other phantom.”

“Other phantom?” Ness and Ignacio asked.

Weston pointed to the secret passage, where another Phantom of the Pentagram stood wielding a chainsaw. He wore a top hat like the current phantom, but he was shorted, more hunched, with a face like a zombie and dressed in a trench coat.

“What in heck is that?” Vance asked.

The captured Phantom shrugged.

“GET OUT OF MY HOTEL!” the new Phantom screamed. “AND NEVER COME BACK!”

“What’s our plan now?” Ness asked.

“Well,” Weston said. “This is the point in the movie where we RUN!”

Everyone dashed out of the main door as the new Phantom chased after them. Vance fell, almost tripping over a candy wrapper. He picked himself up as he nearly dodged the new Phantom’s grip.

The captured Phantom shrugged, freeing himself and slinking off into the secret passageway.


Lita and Jasper stood outside of the penthouse suite. The door was ajar. They looked at each other and nodded.

The room was in shambles; pillows ripped and tossed, the curtains pulled down, furniture knocked over and even the painting of the founder was slightly askew.

“Looks like he came for Diamonique,” Lita stated.

Jasper stared at the bedside table, where Melissa’s cockroaches slept peacefully in a bowl. “I guess so.”

Lita stood by the hearth, staring at the fire. She looked up at the painting and cringed. She grabbed her scarf tighter.

“Why do you do that?” Jasper asked.

“Huh?” Lita asked.

“Grab your scarf,” Jasper said.

“I don’t know,” Lita replied. “I guess it’s just a comfort thing. When I get nervous and stuff. This scarf helps me relax or something.”

“Why?” Jasper asked.

“Why do you care?” Lita asked.

Jasper blushed and looked away. “I just...I heard some interns talk about how you got it.”

“So?” Lita asked.

Jasper shook his head. “Why do you wear it? Why does it bring you comfort if it came from some guy who lied to you and used you?”

“Because,” Lita replied. “Because...it was from someone who loved me. It makes me feel loved.”

“But he didn’t love you,” Jasper replied.

“I know!” Lita said. “It’s so stupid. But, I thought he did. It just...it makes me feel like I am loved. Or like I was loved at some point.”

“I just think you’re better than that guy,” Jasper said. “You don’t need him or his scarf.”

Lita blushed. “Like I said, it’s so stupid.”

“No,” Jasper said. “That’s not...I don’t think your stupid. It makes sense to me.”

“Really?” Lita asked.

Jasper nodded. “Truth is sometimes I don’t feel like people like me.”

“That’s not tru-”

“-No,” Jasper said. “It is. My own parents couldn’t show up to the loved ones visit. I understand; I’m boring. I know they won’t say it, but they like my brother more.”

“I understand what that’s like,” Lita admitted.

“I didn’t get on this show because I’m good at anything,” Jasper said. “I didn’t even get cast to be an early boot...even though I was. I was only cast because of who my brother is. I’m pretty sure Rhonda only brought me back hoping he would be at the loved one’s visit.”

“That can’t be true,” Lita said. “Your brother can’t be that famous. Who is he?”

Jasper shifted his eyes. “If I tell you who my brother is, could you not to tell anyone ever? And...no.”

“And what?” Lita asked.

Jasper shook his head. “I would just like if you didn’t tell anyone, even Ness.”

“I promise,” Lita replied.

Jasper nodded. With a sigh, he leaned into Lita’s ear and whispered it. She raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

Jasper whispered it again.

Lita stood there for a few moments. “Oh! That guy. He’s a celebrity, right?”

“You’ve never heard of him?” Jasper asked.

“I don’t really know famous people or stuff like that,” Lita admitted. “I don’t even own a television.”

“He’s a big deal,” Jasper said. He went off looking into the bathroom.

“Hey Jasper,” Lita said.

“Yeah?” Jasper.

“I like you.”

Jasper blushed, almost tripping over a wet towel.

Lita giggled. She stopped as the fireplace went out. The hearth spun, revealing a staircase...and the first Phantom of the Pentagram standing there.

“Hope I’m not interrupting,” the Phantom laughed. “But I just wanted to make sure you were cozy for your long stay.”

“You were interrupting,” Lita replied. “Thank you very much.”

Lita tossed a vase at the Phantom. The Phantom caught it, setting it down on the hearth and dusting it off. When he looked up, Jasper and Lita were running out the door. He growled, revved his chainsaw and chased after them.

“I guess that means the others didn’t catch him,” Jasper stated.

“We tried our best!” Vance shouted.

Lita and Jasper looked over to see the other four running.

“What are you doing?” Lita asked.

“Running from the Phantom,” Weston replied. “You?”

“Also running from the Phantom,” Lita replied.

“They’re actually two Phantoms,” Ness said.

“Two?” Jasper and Lita asked.

“You can never leave this hotel!” the original Phantom shouted at the end of the hall.

“Leave this hotel and never come back!” the other Phantom shouted from the other end.

“We're really getting a workout today,” Ness said.


Now in the grand tradition of chase sequences, Total Drama Genesis is proud to present a classic; The Scooby-Doo Doors Running Gag. We suggest that you find some corny 60s bubblegum pop music that in no way matches the tone of horror as you read this next part. If you have no such songs nearby, we have provided one. Please enjoy, and thank you. 

Van_Partible_-_Happy_Haunted_Sunshine_House

Van Partible - Happy Haunted Sunshine House

For your listening pleasure.

The newcomers ran down into a hallway of doors. Everyone split up and went into a different door. The killer ran into the first door on the hall.

Ignacio ran out of a door with the killer after him, running across the hall into the next door. At the same time, Ness ran across the hall from the other killer.

Lita ran out of the door chasing Vance with a wheelbarrow. At the same time, Weston and the first killer rode out of a door on a tandem bicycle.

Now Vance ran out of the door pushing the second killer in the wheelbarrow. Jasper and Ness rowed a boat out of a door, with the first killer chasing after them in his own row boat.

Ignacio ran out of a door chasing Weston as the original killer pushed the second killer in a wheelbarrow out of another door.

Lita, Vance, Ness and the second killer exited a door in a conga line, while Jasper and the first killer fenced from door to door.

Ignacio surfed out of another door, while Lita and Ness swung from a vine into another door.

The original Phantom and Jasper tangoed from door to another. Weston and Vance Russian squat-danced shortly after.

Lita rode on a roomba as the second Phantom pogo-sticked after her. The two were interrupted as a familiar horse ran across the hall with Vance chasing after it.

Ness and Ignacio ran out of one door as a giant penny chased them. Weston and Jasper skateboarded away from the original Phantom who chased after them in a taxi.

Zipporah ran out of a door, being chased by the second killer.

“Why am I even in this montage?” Zipporah asked. “I’m not on this show anymore!”

“You think that’s bad?” said a girl with purple braids. “I’m not even in this season!”

“I’m not even in this fanfiction!” yelled an obese kid wearing a shirt that said ‘Puber T’.

“I’m not even in this fandom!” screamed what looked like a blue hedgehog.

“I’m so confused by everything,” Jasper admitted.


Lita, Vance, and Jasper ran out of one door and down the stairs.

The first killer stepped out of a door, scratching his head.

“Phew!”

Riley exited a door, stretching her arms. “Note to self, avoid eating seven brorritos and drinking Code Red Mountain Dew at the same time. At least before lunch. Hey Edgar Allen Bros, did I miss anything?”

“Not much,” The Phantom of the Pentagram replied.

“Oh good,” Riley said. “Wait...oh. Oh.”


Lita, Jasper, and Vance stood in the lobby.

“So you’re saying that someone had been in Rhonda’s files when you were in her office?” Jasper asked.

Vance nodded. “I think...or it was just sloppier than a bear in a bee’s boudoir.”

“Something is not adding up,” Lita stated. “I don’t think this is a simple intern.”

“Must be the butler,” Vance said. “It’s usually the butler. Weston would say that...do you think he’s still running?”

“I think he, Ness, and Ignacio were probably captured,” Jasper said. “I think you're right Lita. These two ghosts...they don’t agree. I don’t believe they’re working together. We’re so close to solving this mystery, I can almost taste it…”

“What’s it taste like?” Vance asked.

“Uhh...mystery flavor,” Jasper replied.

“I’m with you,” Lita said. “I’m developing my own theory, but we need more clues. I have no idea where to find them though…”

“I don’t know what Weston found in the library,” Vance stated. “Maybe we should check there?”

Lita and Jasper shrugged.


Moments later, the three teens stood outside the library. They peeked inside, only to see the second, shorter Phantom standing in there. They were throwing books off the shelf, one right from the other.

“What are they doing?” Lita whispered.

“Looking for a good book,” Vance suggested. “I suggest Henry and Mudge myself.”

“I think they’re looking for a secret passage,” Jasper said. “Like a bookcase.”

“If they’re really the ghost of the hotel’s maker, shouldn’t they know where all the secret passages are?” Lita asked. “They designed it!”

“The other killer seems to know them,” Jasper said.

Eventually the Phantom pulled the red book from the green shelf, activating the revolving bookcase and disappearing.

The three slowly entered the library and began looking.

“Ugh,” Vance groaned, picking up an empty wrapper. “Someone keeps leaving these little candy packets everywhere.”

“Candy wrappers?” Lita asked.

“Yeah, I almost tripped over them when that new Phantom showed up,” Vance recalled.

Jasper and Lita both gave each other a look.

“Besides that trash I can’t find any clues,” Vance sighed.

“Maybe I can help!”

The bookcase revolved again, revealing the original Phantom of the Pentagram.

“Do you get tired?” Lita asked.

“I’m undead so...no,” the ghost replied.

“You do know your ghost pal just went through there,” Jasper said. “Are you guys like...friends? Acquaintances? Rivals? Secret lovers?”

“I’m not here to play twenty questions,” the Phantom replied. “I’m here to play Hide and Seek. I’ll hide you and your friends' bodies, while the police seek them...and never find them.”

Jasper, Lita and Vance just stared.

“Too corny?” the ghost asked.

“A little,” they replied.

“Fair enough,” the Phantom replied. “Let’s just get to the part where I kill you, okay?”

The Phantom revved up it’s chainsaw and started chasing them. They ran for the door...but Vance tripped over another candy wrapper.

“Dang nabit!” Vance cried as the Phantom grabbed him.

The ghost slammed the door before Lita and Jasper could react. They ran up to the door and tried to break it down, but when they finally did the library was empty again.

“Crap,” Lita said. “We’re...we’re all that’s left.”

Jasper grabbed her arm. “Come on, that killer could be back or nearby.”

Lita sighed and the two ran away.


Later in Jasper’s room...

“Jenny and Toby weren’t in the editing room,” Jasper said while pacing.

“Not surprising,” Lita replied. “But I think I have idea of what’s going on. Something didn’t add up early, and now it’s becoming more and more clear.”

“Yeah?” Jasper asked. “I had a similar thought.”

The two started comparing notes and came to a similar conclusion.

“Now what?” Lita asked.

“Now,” Jasper said. “I think we have to confront our ghost. If you want to stay here, that’s fine. I don’t want you-”

“No,” Lita said. “I’m going with you. I’m tired of running. I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of people disappearing. I want to save our friends!”

“You aren’t scared?” Jasper asked.

“I’m still pretty scared,” Lita admitted. “But I’m ready to be brave. Plus, I’ve got you. And you need me.”

Jasper smiled. “Yeah, I do. Alright, let’s find that phantom!”

“But where would they be?” Lita asked. “Running into them hasn’t worked for us.”

“I have an idea,” Jasper said. “Why is the ghost haunting this hotel?”

“Because of the treasure,” Lita replied.

“Exactly,” Jasper said. “He’s guarding it. So where is the treasure?”

“When the owner died he said the heart,” Lita recalled. “Which means...oh no.”

“Right,” Jasper said. “The center of the hotel...or the catacombs. And in the center is…”

“The torture chamber."


The two rushed off to the lobby. In the nearby bathroom they jiggled the handle, revealing the secret stairway. They nodded at each other, holding hands as they descended down the stairs.

Jasper lit the way with a flashlight. “We’re getting closer.”

“I smell something,” Lita said, sniffing the air. “It smells...like cinnamon?”

The two reached the end of the stairs and saw eleven coffins lined up next to each other. Nine of them were closed, with screaming and pounding coming from inside.

“That must be everyone,” Jasper said.

Lita gulped. “Then that must mean the remaining coffins are for-”

“-You!”

Lita and Jasper turned to see the Phantom of the Pentagram step forward, waving a medieval sword.

“They’ve been waiting for you,” the Phantom explained. “Now you can join them in your new rooms!”

“Think again,” Lita stated. “We ain’t scared of you. I’ve seen pillowcases scarier than you!”

The Phantom charged forward as Lita and Jasper ran off in opposite directions. He ran after Lita and cornered her in front of a coffin.

“I’m afraid your time has come,” the Phantom chuckled.

“I was just about to tell you the same thing,” Lita replied. “You didn’t forget about Jasper, did you?”

“Huh?”

Lita stepped aside as Jasper tackled the Phantom into the coffin. Lita and Jasper slammed the lid shut, trapping the ghost inside.

“Ohhhh yeah!” Lita cheered.

The two high-fived and hugged.

“Woo!” Japser cheered.

“Hey,” a voice called. “Really proud of you guys and all...but could you let us out of here?”


Jasper opened the second to last coffin, freeing Vance.

“About time,” Vance stated.

“Looks like we’re all free,” Lita stated.

“But there’s still one coffin left,” Ness said. “And-”

“They’re not in that coffin,” Jasper said.

Lita strolled up to a curtain. “Isn’t that right, Jenny and Toby?”

She pulled the curtain aside, revealing the two co-hosts sitting at computers with headsets on.

Jenny pulled the curtain closed. “Pay now attention to the adorable girl and her loser sidekick behind the curtain!”

Jasper opened the Phantom’s coffin and shook him out, knocking him to the floor. “It’s fine. We already know this is a hoax. It was all part of the challenge.”

“We did?” Diamonique asked.

“Now all that’s left is to unmask the bad guy,” Lita said.

Jasper reached for the skull and started removing it. “This is no phantom. All along it’s actually been…”



















Everyone gasped.

“Melissa,” Jasper finished.

“Melissa!” the newcomers cried out.

Melissa forced a smile and waved. “Hi everyone.”

“Wait...Melissa tried to kill us all?” Vance asked.

“Not kill,” Lita replied. “We were never in danger. Melissa was just doing her part of the challenge, weren’t you hon?”

Melissa shrugged. “And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you marvelous meddling kids! Great job at the challenge!”

“We suspected it had been Melissa for awhile now,” Jasper said.

“You did?” Jenny asked. “But how?”

“There were lots of little clues,” Lita admitted. “Like when I threw the vase and she caught it, making it sure it was safe. Or the smell of cinnamon when we came into the dungeon.”

Melissa walked over with a tray of cookies. “Sorry, I wanted to make some snickerdoodles while I was down here. I hope this can serve as part of an apology for all the trouble I caused.”

“It’s a start,” Vance replied, four cookies already in his mouth.

“There was also the way the penthouse suite looked trashed,” Jasper said. “Except for Melissa’s baby cockroaches, which just happened to be untouched and peacefully undistributed. Or how the killer corned us in the kitchen with the secret passage from the freezer. The one in Melissa’s room.”

“But there were two big clues,” Lita added. “You see…”

Earlier:

Pardon me everyone,” Melissa stated. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to bring Weston dinner.”

Then...

Weston’s stomach grumbled. “And fast. I haven’t eaten dinner yet…”

“I get it!” Ness exclaimed. “Melissa never gave Weston dinner. She was actually preparing for becoming the Phantom later.”

“Mmhmm,” Lita agreed. “Weston’s stomach is what made me really consider Melissa.”

“She was kidnapped early on,” Jasper explained. “Perhaps the first newcomer to be kidnapped while she acted as the killer.”

“She wasn’t the first person the killer ‘got’,” Lita said. “That was the butler, who we can assume was just doing his job as a show’s staff.”

The butler waved from behind the curtain till he realized Jenny’s glare.

“The butler also gave Melissa an almost perfect alibi,” Lita continued. “Which is why I ignored my suspicion of her...until Jasper realized something…”

Before:

BOOM.

The lights went out.

There was a sound of scuffle, and crashed noise.

“Ahhhhhhh!”

The lights came back on.

All the newcomers from the kitchen sprinted to the lobby, only to find Melissa shaking and standing over a shattered bowl and stain on the carpet.

“Are you okay Melissa?” Ness asked.

Melissa shook her head. “I...I saw the butler at the end of the hall. Then the lights went out and when they came back on...he was being dragged off by some sinister someone!”

“So?” Vance asked, scratching his head.

“Melissa screamed claiming it was because she saw the butler,” Jasper explained. “She said she saw the Phantom got him when the lights came on. Yet, she screamed before the lights came back on. How could she seem him be dragged off if it was pitch dark? Why did she lie? It was to create an alibi.”

“Wow,” Melissa gasped. “You two have done such a super job at foiling my plot to pretend murder everyone!”

“Okay fine,” Jenny admitted. “Melissa was the killer! This was all a challenge. Melissa’s job was to pretend to be the hotel owner’s ghost and kidnap you guys. We helped guide her through the hotel and control it while down here. If Melissa did a good enough job, she got invincibility. If anyone captured her and solved the mystery, they all won.”

“But why Melissa?” Ignacio asked.

“Simple,” Jasper replied. “It was Melissa’s reward from last challenge.”

Previously:

"Congrats again to Melissa!" Rhonda announced. "As a reward, you have the penthouse suite. And to tie into our movie project, you'll be having a special starring role in a future project!"

"Wait, you mean I'm going to be acting in a movie?" Melissa asked.

"It's a very hush-hush project," Rhonda replied. "But the director insisted that the winner of the challenge would get to play an important role in the production. More details on that in the future."

“You mean that role Rhonda was talking about was for this stupid challenge?” Tessa asked.

“Hey, we worked hard on this!” Jenny shouted. “Rhonda doesn’t even have the nerve to show up.”

“You mean you don’t actually know where she is?” Ignacio asked.

Jenny and Toby shook their heads.

“Wow,” Weston said to Lita and Jasper. “You guys are super detectives. You did the whole inconsistency thing and everything. But there’s still one thing I don’t understand.”

“Shocker,” Tessa muttered.

“So Melissa was the killer,” Weston said. “But if she’s the killer, then who’s that?”

From out of the shadows stepped the second Phantom of the Pentagram. In their arms they held a tied-up Rhonda, her mouth gagged with tape. The Phantom held a knife up to her throat.

“Get out of my hotel!” the Phantom screamed. “Maybe I’ll even give you back your friend Raina…”

“There’s a second ghost?” Jenny asked.

“You mean that ghost wasn’t part of the challenge?” Melissa asked.

“I said leave my hotel and never return!” the Phantom yelled.

“You can drop the ghost act,” Jasper said. “We know it’s you...Ms. Holmes!”

The others gasped. The Phantom tossed aside their mask, revealing it was in fact the little old lady. “Bully for you kid. You want a gold star or something?

“You mean it was that old lady?” Riley asked. “I took candy from her!”

“Mmhmm,” Lita agreed.

“How did you know?” Kalino asked.

“Well we know this Phantom wasn’t working for the show,” Lita said. “That was obvious since they were yelling the opposite thing and didn’t know the secret passages.”

“But it had to be someone who knew about the challenge,” Jasper explained. “Like someone who was supposed to scare us by telling us about the haunting.”

“Vance found the real clue though,” Lita said.

“I actually found a clue?” Vance asked.

“Most of them,” Jasper explained. “Even if Rhonda wanted to scare us, she wouldn’t destroy her files. Somebody else went looking through them, trying to find information.”

“And the candy wrappers Vance kept tripping over,” Lita added. “They appeared every time we saw the second Phantom.”

“Like the hard candy she gave us,” Kalino exclaimed. “Now I get it. But why old lady whose name I forgot? Why would you do this to us?”

“Because I can,” the old lady replied. “Now all of you better stay quiet, or else your frumpy hostess gets it!“

“So you can focus looking on the treasure?” Jasper asked.

“Oh, Ms. Holmes was trying to scare us away so she could find the secret treasure,” Weston said.

“Exactly,” Lita replied. “She wanted the money, especially after the housing collapse of 2008-”

“-Would you stop ******* explaining everything!” Ms. Holmes yelled. “It’s true, I wanted the treasure. When you wouldn’t give me a tour of the catacombs, I decided I’d find it one way or another. And I’m not leaving without it!”

“But the treasure isn’t in the catacombs,” Toby said.

“Of course it is,” Ms. Holmes replied. “He said he hid it in the heart of the hotel. That’s the catacombs!”

“We haven’t found it,” Toby replied. “Ever since you told Rhonda about it she’s had interns looking so we could add it to the budget. Not to mention the network that owns it and the cops who’ve searched for it. Everyone’s looked in these catacombs for it.”

“Well where else could it be?” Ms. Holmes asked.

“Wait,” Jasper said. “What if...he didn’t mean to say heart! He was electrocuted while saying it. What if he didn’t finish saying it. So instead of being hid in the heart, it’s in the hearth of the hotel.”

“Oh,” Ms. Holmes replied. “Well in that case...see ya losers!”

Ms. Holmes ran off, Rhonda in tow, and disappeared in the dark.


Soon Ms. Holmes found her way into the penthouse suite. Dragging Rhonda behind her, she approached the hearth and started removing bricks. From inside the hearth, she pulled out a small wooden box.

“Finally,” Ms. Holmes sighed. “It’s mine! All mine!”

She cackled, but was knocked back by the hearth revolving. The contestants and co-hosts climbing up the stairs.

“I hope you don't mind we took a secret shortcut,” Melissa stated.

“You’re too late!” Ms. Holmes laughed. “I already have the treasure!”

She opened the box and pulled out...a slip of paper.

“Now then,” Ms. Holmes said. “It says… ‘Guess what? Chicken...butt?’

Kalino and Vance snickered.

“You mean to tell me his greatest treasure was this joke!” Ms. Holmes cried out.

“It is priceless,” Kalino added.

“How could this be?”

“Look on the bright side,” Lita said.

“Which is?” the old lady asked.

“You can add it to your book about the Pentagram."

Lita punched her in the face, knocking her down. "That you can write in the slammer!”


The weather had finally cleared. Outside the hotel, the police escorted Ms. Holmes away in handcuffs. Rhonda sipped a cup of hot chocolate as her cohorts and the newcomers sat around her.

“I’d say that’s a wrap,” Rhonda sighed.

“Yeah,” Jenny agreed. “We beat up an old lady and sent her to prison, where she’ll spend the few remaining years she has in a cell.”

“When you say it like that it doesn’t sound like a win,” Lita said.

“I’d call it a win,” Rhonda said. “Speaking of, let’s get to the winners of the challenge! For not ‘dying’ and solving the mystery, Lita and Jasper both win invincibility!”

“Wooo!” Lita cheered, tackling Jasper and pulling him into a hug. He blushed deeply.

“Hey, I found a lot of clues,” Vance complained.

“Yeah,” Rhonda replied. “But you didn’t survive or actually solve the mystery. The most important parts of a horror-mystery challenge. I will say that since Melissa got most of you and didn’t give it away, she also wins invincibility.”

“Really?” Melissa asked. “I feel a bit bad about it since I did lie to everyone.”

“Because those were the rules of the challenge,” Ness replied. “We would have done the same.”

“Since you didn’t capture everyone you don’t get the penthouse suite,” Rhonda said. “Lita and Jasper can share that. They also win two free tickets to the midnight premiere of Blood, Guts and Butts: The Twerking Terror.”

“Pass,” Jasper said.

“Hard pass,” Lita agreed.

“The rest of you are eligible to go home tonight,” Rhonda said. “We’ll vote in two hours.”


I can’t believe it,” Jasper admitted. “I’ve actually won two challenges at the merge! Me! I didn’t think I’d win one. I didn’t think I’d last this long either…”


The newcomers sat around the dining hall, talking away. Weston walked in and whistled.

“I suppose you’re all wondering why I gathered you here,” Weston said.

“We actually just came here for more of Melissa’s cookies,” Ness replied.

“Still,” Weston stated. “Cynthia was betrayed by one of her own teammates and that traitor...is in this very room! And I know who it is.”

“You do?” Vance asked.

“Five bucks he says a wizard did it,” Tessa whispered to Riley.

“I think we both know,” Melissa stated. “We found this in the library.”

From her pocket Melissa pulled out of the folded piece of paper, unfolding it to reveal the voting chart.

“Wait...it was Kalino?” Vance asked.

“What is this thing?” Kalino asked.

“I knew it!” Diamonique stated. “I always knew it had to be Kalino!”

“Had to be what?” Kalino asked.

“Don’t play dumb,” Diamonique replied. “You voted for a fellow Eagle. You took poor sweet Cynthia from us all.”

“Uh, no I didn’t,” Kalino replied. “I don’t even draw; takes too much time.”

“I can’t understand it,” Melissa admitted. “But I don’t know…”

“It’s like I said,” Diamonique stated. “If Kalino hadn’t flipped, Cynthia would have been safe!”

“How do you know that?” Weston asked.

“Huh?”

“How do you know Cynthia would be safe?” Weston said.

“Obviously if Kalino voted for Griswold he would have left,” Diamonique explained.

“True,” Weston replied. “But how did you know that? After all, if all seven Eagles voted together and all seven Fireworks voted together it would be a tie. Cynthia wouldn't be safe for sure. But you knew there wouldn't be a tie, didn’t you Diamonique? That was your plan.”

“Wait,” Melissa said, “Are you saying…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Diamonique shouted.

“Allow me to explain,” Weston said. “I talked to Tessa, who revealed she voted for Kalino at the first vote. Which means if all seven Eagles voted together…”

“...then Cynthia wouldn’t have gone home,” Melissa replied.

"She did though," Vance said. "Meaning there was traitor for sure."

"Only the traitor could know their vote was the difference between who had majority," Weston stated.

“Doesn't mean its me," Diamonique said. "I forget it would be a tiebreaker. So what?"

“The question is, why did Tessa vote Kalino?” Weston asked.

“Because he’s a liar,” Tessa stated.

“Because she’s crazy,” Kalino replied.

“If Tessa was voting with the Fireworks, wouldn’t she have been told by them to vote for Cynthia?” Weston asked.

“Good point,” Lita said.

“None of us talked to Tessa then,” Riley added.

Weston flipped through his notebook. “Tessa said it’s because she, ‘was under the impression the other Fireworks were [voting for Kalino] and I hoped he would go home’.”

“So?” Diamonique asked.

Weston smirked. “Why did Tessa think Kalino was going home? Someone must have told her that. The Fireworks didn’t talk to her. If they did, why would they tell her the wrong person?”

Weston started pacing. “I realized an Eagle must have wanted Tessa to vote wrong, so they gave her false info.”

“But why?” Melissa asked.

“I’m not entirely sure,” Weston admitted. “Perhaps they wanted Kalino gone, but changed their plan. Maybe to confuse us on if an immunity flash drive was used or not at the vote. Or even provide an alibi; if they told Tessa the wrong info, how could they know the Fireworks were voting Cynthia?"

“How would I know that?” Diamonique asked.

“Simple,” Weston replied. “Besides myself and Xidorn, who I ruled out as suspects, you were the only one who shared a room with another Firework. That’s how you found out the vote for Cynthia.”

“I room alone dummy,” Diamonique replied. “There are more holes in your theory than swiss cheese or swiss bank accounts.”

“It’s true,” Weston replied. “Swissland has a lot of holes and you don’t share your room...but you were rooming with Jasper in the master suite then, right?”

Melissa turned to look at Diamonique.

Diamonique gulped. “Well...well…”

“It’s funny how Jasper picked you, huh?” Weston asked. “Both of you being returnees must have given you a special connection...perhaps one that would let him spill a little info for you?”

“It must be the same connection that she used to form an alliance with me,” Tessa stated. “When she gave me that false information.”

“Gris Bear talked to her too,” Riley stated. “Told her about the original vote for Kalino…”

“This, this, this is ridiculous!” Diamonique shouted. “Weston is obviously trying to protect his friends. Melissa, you can’t believe this can you?”

Melissa frowned. “I don’t want to...but…”

“I haven’t lied to you before,” Diamonique stated. “Have I?”

“Did you mention to her how you voted for Gris?” Kalino asked.

Lita glared. “She forgot that little detail.”

“Because it’s another lie obviously,” Diamonique responded. “Kalino is obviously just super jelly of me right now.”

“You didn’t?” Kalino asked. “I mentioned it to you. Didn’t I Vance?”

“Vance wasn’t there!” Diamonique replied.

Kalino smirked as everyone turned to look at her.

Diamonique gulped. “I mean...uh...what about the chart you found! That’s proof.”

“You mean the chart that just perfectly incriminates Kalino?” Ignacio asked. “That just happened to be found and out him as the traitor?”

Diamonique frowned. “Wait, you don’t think I planted it did you?”

“Let’s see,” Vance said. “I think the answer is...duh!”

“Come on,” Diamonique said. “We know Kalino is a snake...right Tessa?”

“He’s not the only one,” Tessa replied.

“Jasper, you know I’m trustworthy,” Diamonique stated.

Jasper shrugged.

“Ladies I’m-”

“Nope,” Ness stated, while Lita nodded and Riley glared.

Diamonique turned to Melissa. “Melissa, you know you can trust me. Because I know I can trust you. We’re friends.”

“Cynthia was your friend too,” Melissa replied.

“But Melissa I-”

Melissa turned away. “Please, just stop! I’m...I’m sorry Diamonique, I want to trust you...but I have to trust the truth too. The truth is, you were just using me. Weren’t you?”

Diamonique shook her head, but Melissa had already walked off.


“I don’t think we need to explain why this vote was straightforward,” Rhonda stated. She tossed the final coffee cup to Kalino. He winked at Diamonique who turned her head.

“How does it feel to be voted off twice?” Kalino asked.

Diamonique responded by throwing him the bird.

“To everyone else," she said. "I am actually sorry.”

No one responded, so Diamonique sighed and left.

“I’m still not sure what's more shocking,” Ignacio admitted. “Diamonique was the traitor, or that Weston actually figured it out? Actually...it’s the latter.”

“Truth be told I wasn’t entirely sure if it was Diamonique,” Weston admitted. “The evidence seemed to suggest her, but it wasn’t until her slip-up I was super duper positive!”

“Wait, then why did you say you knew who it was in the dining hall?” Riley asked.

“Elementally dear Riley,” Weston replied. “Marathoning Murder She Wrote made me realize that someone always slips up and reveals they did it. Usually when you accuse them. It’s the same way Jasper and Lita used inconsistencies to figure out Melissa was the killer.”

Lita winked at Jasper who blushed and almost dropped his coffee.

Plus, she was the only one who made sense,” Weston added.

“What do you mean?” Vance asked.

“An Eagle was the traitor,” Weston explained. “Cynthia went home, so that eliminates me and Melissa. Xidorn is too honest, so it’s not him. That leaves you, Diamonique, and Kalino. Once that chart appeared, it was obviously a decoy for Kalino. You and him wouldn't do that; it just leaves her.”

“Makes sense to me,” Kalino replied.


“I knew Diamonique was trying to frame me,” Kalino admitted. I mean none of my other old teammies would vote against Cynthia. So I drew that chart to frame her. Worked too. I told Weston he’d find something in that library. Sorry D. You were cool, but not ice cold. Maybe they’ll give you a third chance..not that it’d help you.”


Diamonique pouted as she sat in the back of the Public Transportation of Losers.

“Surprised to see me again?” Diamonique asked the driver.

The driver didn’t respond.

Diamonique rolled her eyes and slumped in her seat.

“I guess I played too hard,” Diamonique admitted. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so obsessive...kind of like that old broad. I guess if I wasn't I could’ve actually defeated Kalino, or won a challenge...or not have lost my friends. At least I was more impressive this time, right?”

The driver did not reply.

“But instead of being good I could have been great,” Diamonique stated. “A little late. I suppose I should apologize to everyone I voted off when I arrive.”

Diamonique gulped. “Especially Cynthia. Although...she doesn’t know I voted for her, right?”

The Public of Transportation of Losers stopped.

The driver turned around, staring Diamonique down with their unblinking eyes. “She knows.”

Chapter 19 Another Tides Of The Genesis Story[]

After the stormy weather the last few days, the skies had cleared up. It was warmer, but not as scorching. Even quite breezy.

“Mannnnn what perfect weather,” Kalino said to Ignacio as the two sunbathed outside of the Pentagram.

They both sat in beach chairs, lounging about. It was such nice weather that a lot of people were out and about in D.C., so Kalino decided it would be a perfect time for him and ‘Iggy’ to go out.


“I’m not sure how much Kalino’s plans are helping me feel more comfortable in my skin,” Ignacio admitted. “I’d like to say they are…but I’m not sure. I will say, it has been surprisingly fun hanging out with him. Last time didn’t seem so bad, and I’ve been feeling pretty swell recently, so why not…”


Ignacio blushed as a he heard another whistle at him and Kalino…as they sat out in bright pink speedos. Kalino clicked his tongue while Ignacio sank further into his chair.


“I just wish I had known what we were doing beforehand,” Ignacio replied. “Still…it’s been pleasant. Kalino’s much more articulate and thoughtful than he seems. I’ve just been enjoying myself these past couple of days.”


Summer breeze makes me feel fine,” Kalino sang. “Going through the Jasmine in my mind…

Ignacio exhaled, meditating more as he sank further in his chair.

“You know today is perfect sailing weather,” Kalino stated.

Ignacio chuckled. “What?”

“Today just makes me want to get in a boat and go sailing the seven seas dude. Maybe if I win I’ll buy a lighthouse. Or maybe a boathouse! Just living at a lake, fishing.”

“I thought you would buy your own private island?”

Kalino shrugged. “Maybe it’s too expensive. Or maybe that would be too hard. I don’t know. I am little worried after taxes…and something I have to do…I won’t have enough. I just want to go to sailing now, getting lost in the ocean. That’s what I want right now.”

“Too bad the nearest beach is almost an hour away,” Ignacio replied.

Kalino nodded and sighed. He kept singing to himself. “Feel the arms that reach out to hold me when the day is through. Summer breeze makes me feel fine…


Everyone had been feeling good these past couple days. Everyone but one newcomer.

Melissa hummed a sad tune to herself as she took out her mini mint chocolate manatee macaroons.


“At this point I’ve baked my way through most of my cookbook,” Melissa admitted. “I suppose I’m lucky I can even bake. I’m just not good at this cutthroat stuff. It’s too sad. I wouldn’t mind splitting the two million with everyone left honestly. I was feeling better with the Girls' Alliance I had made…even if I still felt bad about Xidorn…but…”


Ness and Lita walked into the dining hall, sniffing the familiar smell of baked goods in the air. They shared a look before entering the kitchen.

“Hey Melissa,” Ness said. “Do…do you need any help?”

Melissa smiled and shook her head. “No, no. Baking is just…it’s therapeutic almost. What do you do when you’re down?”

“I eat your food,” Lita joked, though she had already stored some manatee macaroons in her bra.

Melissa turned back to the bowl she was mixing and tried to hum a happier tune.

“Would talking make you feel better?” Lita asked. “You know, about the whole Diamonique thing.”

“It might make us feel better too,” Ness suggested.

Melissa sighed, dropping her smile. “Diamonique wasn't here for long…but we had been friends since the first challenge. I’m not sure why the boys voted her out…it didn’t seem like her fault.

"Out of most of the Eagles I felt like she deserved a second shake. Even between Aiden or Hayden; they kind of messed it up for themselves. Diamonique wasn't even given a chance. So I was ecstatic she came back for a new chance…and to have another friend when I needed one.”

Melissa wiped away a few tears. “It’s not that I was backstabbed by an alliance member or an old teammate; it’s that I was being used by a friend.”

Ness and Lita hugged her.

“It was a crappy thing to do,” Lita said.

“I’ve almost accepted we have to vote out friends,” Melissa replied. “But I don’t accept what she did. To Cynthia or me. But even still…it’s sad to see her go. I can’t blame everyone for being so chipper. But I almost feel bad for Diamonique…if I wasn’t so hurt by that…that selfish, stinky liar.”


Lita tried to hold back a laugh. “I think that’s Melissa’s version of cursing. It sucks that Diamonique was…let’s be a honest, a real *****. There’s a difference between strategy and sleazy. I’m bummed the Girls' Alliance has kind of weakened but…

"It’s hard not to be in a good mood. I just won immunity last time! Heck yeah! Me and Jaspy boy took home the gold. The hunky butler has massaged all my knots away. Plus, Diamonique was the most easy vote since this merge started. Everyone just feels relaxed because of it. You can’t help it.”

Lita frowned suddenly. “Although I do have a couple things weighing on my mind…”


Ness hugged Melissa tighter. “Diamonique may have been fake…but you still have friends here.”

Melissa smiled.

“I think you’ve been cooped up in this kitchen in this ugly hotel for too long,” Lita said.

Ness smirked. “Are you suggesting what I’m hoping you are?”

Lita nodded. “It’s time ladies, for a girl’s day out!”

Ness giggled and Melissa blushed. “I don’t know, I was still going to bake-“

“-It wasn’t a question,” Lita replied. “It was a command. Now let’s book it!”

Lita grabbed Melissa and pulled her away. “But, but, but I still have cookies in the oven!”

“Let’s hope they catch on fire and burn this place down,” Lita joked.


Vance paced outside in the hall, twirling his mustache in his hand. He had been for almost ten minutes since dinner ended. Finally, he sighed and pushed open the door to Rhonda’s office.

“Hey Rhonda…”

Rhonda looked up from her computer. Most of the newcomers rarely went out of their way to find her.

“What’s up?”

“I have something I have to ask, or maybe say...”

“For the last time Vance, there is not a secret barn hidden in the hotel. Nor is-“

“-Not that.”

Vance held his cowboy hat in hands. “You remember that one challenge the other day? With the serial killer and stuff?”

“You mean when I was kidnapped by an insane old lady and almost died?” Rhonda asked.

“That’s the one,” Vance replied. “So we went here to investigate and well…I find this file…

Rhonda’s eyes grew wide. “Oh no.”

“I know. I know who you really are. I know who you were.”

Neither said anything for a few minutes.

Rhonda held her head in her hands. “I didn’t want that file here. I told them it was stupid, but the company said we had to keep a record of it…of me. I…now what? Why come here with this?”

Vance shrugged. “I just felt I had to let you know.”

“Have you…told anyone else?” Rhonda asked.

Vance shook his head, forcing a laugh. “I’m sure everyone would like to know. It would explain a lot about you. But…that’s not my place to say. That don’t feel right.”

Rhonda had to force a smile. “Thank you Vance. Really, thank you.”

“So…it is true then? I didn’t read it all but…you were on a bunch of reality shows? But you competed on them with fake names and disguises?”

Rhonda sighed. “Yeah. I was a showjumper a few years ago.”

“So why did you…’become’ Rhonda?”

“It’s complicated…hard to understand.”

“If anyone can understand lying about your identity, it’s me,” Vance replied.

Rhonda sat in silence for a few moments.

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to,” Vance replied. “ I just…I want to understand. Understand why that file said that ‘Rhonda’ isn’t a real person!”

Rhonda collected her thoughts for a few minutes. “I’ve loved Total Drama since I was little. Despite how much I may have hated a later season or I went in a different direction, I always came back to it. So when I was fourteen, I lied about my age. I started doing reality shows…and sucking.

"And when you suck, you don’t get back. But I was desperate to be a part of it…I faked my name a few times. Camped outside a few producers’ houses. Was an intern here and there to get inside info. I became a secret showjumper. I competed as Colleen, Vicky, Marissa…I can’t remember them all. I still sucked; I was worse than Pascal.”

“So those fashion judges,” Vance recalled. “You met them through showjumping?”

“Chip and Flutina were guest judges on a show I interned for,” Rhonda explained. “Heck, I met Jenny and Toby through it. And most of the producers, once they finally figured it out, knew me. Knew I was dedicated and had experience. Even had me work on the new Canadian season and have 'hosting' lessons.”

Vance shook his head. “You had a deal then, huh? You could became host…but you had to become a different person one last time. You had to become…’Rhonda’.”

Rhonda nodded. “They couldn’t let some reality show contestant failure host…so here I am.”

Vance still stood there, wanting to say more. “So, there were photos in the file. You looked kind of different. Did they-“

“That was part of the deal,” Rhonda stated. “I had to become a little more marketable. I had to have a new face. I had to legally change my name. I had to become a different person permanently.”

The word hung in the air for a moment.

“But didn't you do some the other stuff? A sketch comedy show and stuff?”

Rhonda shrugged. “I did those with Jenny and Toby to try and build a reputation. I almost decided to stick with them…but I had already given up everything to host this show. Even my name. What was one more thing?”

Rhonda stared at the cowboy as he stood there shocked. She didn't even mean to say so much, but she hadn’t really talked about this before. Not with Jenny and Toby, the only other ones who knew. It was almost as cathartic as it was scary.

“I have one last question,” Vance finally said.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay with that?”

Rhonda looked blankly at the cowboy. Then…she shrugged. “I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter…it’s done. Who I was before is basically dead; I am Rhonda now.

"Listen Vance, you can’t tell anyone my secret. Nobody. You won’t just ruin my career. You could end the show. You could cause the entire crew to lose their jobs. You’d be breaking fans hearts all over the world. Just please…don’t tell anyone. Please.”

“I don’t plan on it,” Vance replied. “I just had to know the truth. Sounded too crazy…but it also made sense to me.”

Vance turned and started to leave. But he stood in the middle of the doorway. “But…I feel bad for you. Really. I don’t think you should do it. I think you should tell everyone the truth about who you are. You should be who you are.”

Rhonda just stared at the cowboy.

“Take it from someone who’s spent his life living a lie,” Vance said. “You can’t believe someone really cares for you if they don’t know who you are. You can’t really care about yourself. It plain sucks. That’s all I really wanted to say.”


The next day was pretty simple. It was supposed to be a challenge day, but Rhonda was occupied with some sort of issue with the executives and the hotel. The challenge was pushed to tonight.

Riley left the lobby bathroom. “Dang thing is still clogged. I’ve already told those co-hosts two times.”

“Who are you talking to?”

Riley blushed and turned to see Lita leaning against the check-in counter.

“Hehe, I’ve kind of gotten use to talking to myself,” Riley admitted. “What with the confessional and cameras and junk.”

“Same. What are you doing here?”

“Was trying to use the john, then grab a burrito or something. What’s up with you?”

Lita took a deep breath. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Riley raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“About some things I said a while ago,” Lita said. “Some stupid things I haven’t apologized. About you…and Griswold.”

“Oh,” Riley laughed. “Don’t worry about. I already forgot about that!”

“I still should apologize,” Lita replied. “After the go-karting challenge I was just angry. But still doesn’t make up for trying to attack you like that. And really…I think you and Gris should date.”

“Really?” Riley asked.

“Yeah,” Lita said. “Y’all would make a cute couple. If you’ve found someone to be happy with, you should be with them. I want y’all to be happy.”

Riley smiled and patted her friend’s back. “Thanks Lightning Lita. That means a lot to me. You know, the right guy for you is still out there.”

“Maybe,” Lita replied. “But it’s not like he’s just going to walk by me right now.”

Jasper walked by the two. “Hey Riley. Hey Lita.”

“Hey Jasper,” Lita replied with a wave.

Riley stared at the girl.

“What?” Lita asked.


“Really?” Riley asked. “She actually doesn’t see it? Really? That’s way worse than me and Gris, right?”


“There’s something else I want us to talk about,” Lita said. “But not here. In my room in an hour. With all the other girls.”

“All the other girls?” Riley asked.

Lita nodded.

“You mean…”

“Yup. Even Tessa. Especially Tessa. It’s time to see if we can bury this hatchet.”


Around the time of the girls’ meeting, Kalino was leading Ignacio to a room. As per usual, Kalino was baring it all.

“Where are we going?” Ignacio asked.

“A new way to help you overcome your body anxiety,” Kalino replied.

“That didn’t answer my question.”

Kalino smirked, stopping and opening the door to a broom closet. He winked and flipped on the light switch, holding the door for the model. It was a standard broom closet, if not very spacious. But Kalino pointed to the ceiling. Next to the lightbulb hung a little chain, the kind to pull and flicker on the lights. 

It hit Ignacio immediately. Why was there a chain to turn on the light and a light switch? Kalino raised an eyebrow and motioned to Ignacio.

Ignacio pulled it. The back wall of the closet lifted up like a gate.

The two walked through, entering a room with pristine white floors, fancy statues and marble columns. While most of the hotel had a mix of late Victorian style and the Beaux-Arts style of the 1800s, this room was more reminiscent of an ancient Greek style than either. It was a modern Greek bath house.

Of course this was the Pentagram, so the room still had an eeriness to it. It wasn’t just the large amount of space it had, or how it seemed to be yet another secret world in the Pentagram.

It was the Greek statues. They weren’t of Greek Gods or heroes. The statues were Greek tragedies. They were the nymphs who were being pursued by the Gods for existing. They were the punished dead in Tartarus, who had offended the gods so much they were given ironic punishments for eternity. They were the horrors and sins that Pandora had released from her box. Even Prometheus was featured, waiting for his liver to grow back before the vulture came to eat it again. His punishment for teaching humanity to make fire.

“They probably did cult stuff in this room,” Kalino joked. “Probably while wearing fancy party masks.”

“What is this room?” Ignacio asked.

“It’s the Pentagram spa,” Kalino replied. “It has bath houses, a room for massages, mud baths and of course…a sauna.”


The remaining newcomer girls had gathered inside the penthouse suite, enjoying club sandwiches courteous of their hunky butler. Naturally, Lita ordered a side of cheese fries.

The girls sat in silence, barely eating. Sitting as far across from each other on the bed as possible were Lita and Tessa. Riley, Ness, and Melissa snacked quietly between.

“So…Jasper isn’t coming back is he?” Riley said.

“He had something he was doing,” Lita replied. She didn’t look away from Tessa, who was trying not to meet her gaze.

Lita sighed. “Alright here it is. I called this meeting because…I want to apologize to you Tessa.”

Everyone shot their heads up at the knockout. Especially Tessa.

“I mean I guess I’m not apologizing,” Lita admitted, “because with how you acted I was right to be mad. And not trust you. And not like you. But I shouldn’t have let you made me so angry in general. You did save me twice, even sacrificing yourself to save me last challenge…”

Lita blushed. “So thank you. I probably wouldn’t have won invincibility if you hadn’t done that.”

“No, you still would have,” Tessa said while shaking her head.

“Thanks,” Lita replied. “I guess I’m just trying to end this all. But before I can do that I just have to understand…why? Why did you hate me so much from day one?”

Tessa blushed. “Well I…I don’t have a good reason.”

“Obviously,” Lita replied, scowling. “But you had a reason, right?”

“I don’t know,” Tessa finally admitted. “I didn’t start thinking, ‘let me be a jerk to this girl’ right here. I just…didn’t like you.”

“I’ll pretend to be shocked,” Lita replied. “But why? You didn’t like most anyone, but you especially didn’t like me. I think I deserve to know why.”

Riley frowned. “Maybe this is a conversation that you two should be having by yourself. Cause right now it feels you’re trying to humiliate T.”

Lita turned to look at the other girls; Melissa and Riley just seemed uncomfortable. Ness did too, but also just a little curious. She shrugged at her friend.

“Maybe you’re right,” Lita said.

“Who cares at this point?" Tessa replied. "I mean maybe everyone deserves an answer. Lita, I guess subconsciously, you reminded me of one of my old bullies. The head mean girl at my high school; pretty, popular, flirty.”

Tessa sighed and threw up her hands. “I thought I was just defending myself from bullying that wouldn’t have come. That’s not a great defense, but it is what it is. I don’t know if I can give a better explanation than that. I was just stupid.”

“I think that was a fine enough explanation,” Lita replied. “Because now I’m convinced you’re for real. You aren’t the same Tessa.”

“I'm not?” Tessa asked.

“Of course,” Lita snickered, “cause you wouldn’t admit all that if you were old Tessa. So you’re new Tessa, and I want to try to be new Lita. So I’m willing to start over. What about you ladies?”

Melissa already nodded. Ness squirmed a bit but nodded.


“Would I like to be friends with Tessa?” Ness asked. “Sure. But I just can’t forget who she was. I’m surprised that Lita agreed to this meeting…but she said she felt like last challenge had made her want to be a better person then she thinks she has been recently. I guess she feels like if she deserves that, so does Tessa.

"That seems fair. Tessa has been nicer, helped Lita, and stuck up for Riley…but I just don’t know. Pascal, Diamonique…trusting them mostly felt right and that didn’t work out. Trusting Tessa doesn’t feel right at all. She was such a bully! Lita and Seraphina got most of it. But maybe just cause we were friends, Tessa didn’t like me either. She certainly didn’t mind mumbling mean, judgmental comments under her breath about me.

Ness crossed her arms and pouted. “So I don’t know. I guess I’ll give her a chance. Maybe I could be wrong...”


“Awww!” Melissa squeed. “This is getting me all warm and fuzzy.”

She jumped on the larger bed, pulling the two former enemies into a group hug. She motioned for the other two girls to join and they did.

“You know there is another reason I wanted us all here,” Lita admitted.

“A group hug?” Melissa asked.

Lita shot Melissa a playful look, causing the sweetheart to blush. “Oh dear, I forgot! Well…we’ve been thinking…”

Riley raised an eyebrow. “We? You've all already talked?”

“It’s a girls' alliance isn’t it?” Tessa stated.

Riley fell out of the bed onto the floor. “Wait…WHATTTTT?”

“I figured Diamonique had pulled something since the Xidorn vote,” Tessa said. “She’s kind of sneaky like that.”

“It wasn’t Diamonique’s idea,” Ness giggled.

Tessa raised an eyebrow till she saw Melissa blush. Then she fell off of the bed onto then floor. “Are you kidding me?”

Melissa shrugged. “It’s a bit of a story. But since we are all on good terms, I think we should join forces.”

“So what, we all make the final five?” Tessa asked.

Melissa nodded. “Isn’t it kind of sweet? All of us putting aside our differences for the bonds of sisterhood and friendship! Then we duke it out in fierce, but friendly, competition to become Genesis Queen. Like a tribe of Amazonian warriors!”

“Well…” Riley said.

“You not up for this Riley?” Lita asked.

“I just don’t know how I feel,” Riley said. “It sounds totally awesome, but I don’t know if I want to vote out Ignacio.”

Ness and Lita shared a worried look.

“I don’t how I’m going to do that either,” Ness admitted. “Ignacio is such a sweetheart.”

“And he really wants to win for his family,” Lita sighed. “Not to mention I don’t feel great about voting out Jasper. The guy’s such a great listener.”

Melissa and Ness giggled.


“I’ve missed Lita in the room,” Ness said. “I know she’s missed me…but I also know she’s been enjoying sharing a room with Jasper. Not just because of all the nice stuff. She didn’t even mention the hunky butler! That’s like the best part.”

Ness blushed. “Lita’s been up all night with Jasper. Uh, not like that! Eating meals with him, watching movies, and just talking. It’s really cute…I just don’t think she knows why.”


“I wouldn’t want to vote out Vance,” Melissa said finally. “Not soon anyway.”

“Vance?” Riley and Tessa asked.

“I want to vote him off just so I don’t have to hear him,” Lita stated."Or look at him. Or acknowledge him."

“So I’m guessing this all-girl alliance has failed harder than we failed the Bechdel test?” Tessa asked.

Melissa shook her head. “I don’t want to vote for Vance, but I have to eventually. We all have to vote for Ignacio or Jasper at some point.”

Tessa smirked. “We could at least all vote for Kalino together and send him home next.”

Melissa sighed, but the other girls nodded.

“It’s settled,” Lita said. “Girls' Alliance it is; we’ll worry about the guys when we get there.”

All five of the ladies joined their hands together in a circle.


“I hate that we’ll probably be voting out the Eagles first,” Melissa admitted. “But the boys shut me out. Even though I’m worried about my chances with all the female Fireworks in the final five, I’d rather go with my friends than be a number to people who don’t respect me.”


“This couldn’t have gone more amazing!” Tessa cheered. “I mean Lita and I made up and for once I might not have to be worried about being in the bottom two constantly. And we might finally vote off Pizza Rat? Yes, yes, yes! YESSSS!”


“I don’t know how I feel about a girls' alliance,” Riley stated. “I mean I’m usually the one in with the dudes, not the dudettes. It feels wrong to vote off my bro too. Ignacio is an Ignacibro! I’m not entirely sure I could do it when the time comes. But I do admit the idea of us all in a final five sounds super sweet. Though…I’m not entirely happy that Lita and Ness have teamed up with Melissa behind my back. I guess the Fireworks are really gone…”


That wasn’t the only meeting going on though. Kalino and Ignacio, towels around their waist, entered the sauna together. Ignacio raised an eyebrow to find that Weston, Vance and Jasper were already sitting there.

“Dang,” Kalino said. “How’d you beat us here?”

“We followed the signs,” Jasper said.

“Signs?” Kalino asked.

Jasper nodded. “Wait…did you just discover this spa?”

The other guys forced a smile.

“I found this place before I was eliminated,” Jasper stated.

“It’s not a contest,” Vance said. “The point is we’re all here!”

“But why are you here?” Ignacio asked.

“I invited them,” Kalino replied. “Duh!”

“Aww, are we crashing your date?” Vance teased.

“Don’t tell Lita,” Weston laughed.

No one picked up on Jasper’s glare.

“It’s part of your next training,” Kalino said. “So sit and let’s get on our spa day boys. We’re here to get sweaty and pampered.”

Ignacio sighed but sat down with the rest of the guys as they all started enjoying the sweat lodge.


“I was hoping this would be a quiet experience,” Ignacio admitted. “But Kalino, Vance and Weston are all thick as thieves. So they talked a lot. Jasper and I are rather reserved by nature, but even we got to conversing. It was kind of like when Gris, Riley, Easton and I would get burritos together.

“I admit I don’t have many male friends. Most guys just don’t like hanging out with me because girls tend to fawn over me. They don't realize I detest it as much as they do.”


“Alright men,” Vance said, “let’s settle this once and for all. Who do you think is the hottest chick that’s been here?”

Weston raised his hand.

“It’s not Cynthia,” Vance stated.

“Scary can be hot,” Weston pouted.

“I need a non-delusional person’s answer,” Vance said. “So spill it. Who?”

Ignacio and Jasper both blushed and looked away.

“Aww, too shy?” Vance asked. “I mean I know it’s not as easy as figuring out I’m the hottest guy, but you have to be thinking about somebody...”

“Lita,” Jasper said.

He blushed redder as all the guys looked at him.

“I…uh…just mean she was cast as that,” Jasper replied. “So shouldn’t it be her?”

Vance shook his head. “No way! Sure Lita’s easy on the eyes, but her personality is more rotten than a goat’s udder under an August summer sun.”

“I never took you as someone who cared about personality,” Ignacio admitted.

“I like a winning personality to match my own,” Vance replied. “It’s one of my best traits, like my devilish good looks or humility.”

“Humility?” Ignacio asked.

“People tell me I’m so humble all the time,” Vance replied.

“Were they being sarcastic?”

Vance frowned. “Wait a minute…”

“I think Lita has a great personality,” Jasper defended.

“Meh, Lita just isn’t that attractive to me,” Vance admitted. “It’s her attitude.”

“Not that’s she creamed you in challenges?” Jasper said. He smirked, maybe for the first time on camera.

“Hardly,” Vance replied. “I’d say the hottest girls are Melissa or Riley.”

“Really?” Kalino asked.

Vance nodded. “They just strike you in the heart. I’ve been trying not to seduce them too hard here, just to avoid the drama with Aiden and Griswold.”

Ignacio rolled his eyes. “Truly a saint among men you are Vance.”

“I hear stuff all the time like that too,” Vance replied. “Wait…”

“Who’d you pick?” Jasper asked Kalino.

Kalino blushed while Weston snickered. “He totally picked Frannie.”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Kalino stated.

The guys all turned to Ignacio. The model blushed. “I’m not particular to anyone. Certainly not anyone at this hotel or anyone that you know or could talk to or is here or anything like that…”

“He’s totally sweet on someone,” Kalino whispered to Weston. “It’s soooo obvious it’s someone here.”

“Why are we talking about this?” Ignacio asked. “It’s a little cliché. It’s not like the girls are sitting around and ranking us.”

“Cause I’m already their number one,” Vance replied, laying back.


“Ignacio is the hottest guy,” Ness argued. “It’s just objectively true.”

“I just think Aiden is way cuter,” Melissa replied. “He just has a brighter smile and it shows off his dimples!”

“Two words,” Riley said. “Griswold’s. Beard.”

“Come on Lita,” Ness pleaded. “You usually like to weigh on this.”

Lita blushed but shook her head.


“I don’t know why,” Lita admitted. “But I thought about bringing up Jasper. He was kind of attractive when we went into the hot tub yesterday in his jams…but that’s silly. Plus it feels a little weird talking about a friend like that. A secretly kind of hot friend.”


“What about you Tessa?” Melissa asked. “Between Ignacio, Aiden, and Griswold whose the hottest?”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “I’ve never found any of those guys that hot …uh, no offense.”

She forced a smile at the three glares she received. “Sorry, I just think this is one of the stupidest conversations ever. I don’t want to put women back five years. I bet most of the guys wouldn’t even have this conversation…”


“I don’t like anyone,” Ignacio said.

“Okay,” Weston replied. “But like…you do.”

“It’s written all over your reddddddd face,” Kalino teased.  

“Ignacio’s face is usually red,” Jasper teased.

“Even you Jasper,” Ignacio sighed. But he was smiling.

“He’s not blind,” Vance laughed. “Who is it? Riley? Lita? Ness? Tessa? Melissa?”

“Rhonda?” Jasper added.

All the guys burst into laughter.


“I was kind of surprised when Kalino invited me to this thing,” Jasper said. “I don’t get invited to things. My parents forgot to invite me to their wedding vow renewal. But Kalino has been someone whose actually paid attention to since I came back.

"He’ll sometimes sit to eat with me if I’m alone or tell me a joke when he sees me. I kind of think its because he wants me to vote with him. Still flattering. Especially from someone so cool; I mean Kalino is just a cool name.

"So I was kind of thrilled to be invited to this. And to fit in. I mean I made them laugh. Intentionally!”


“This has been great lads,” Kalino stated. “But...”

The other guys raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve been thinking about something,” Kalino admitted. “For the last twenty minutes or so. I was just thinking this was kind of a guy’s day. You know, like the girl’s have. Then I got worried.”

“About?” Weston asked.

“Didn’t the girls go on a girl’s day yesterday,” Kalino reminded.

“Yeah,” Jasper replied. “Lita came back to the room that night after having gone with Ness and Melissa to the mall.”

Kalino sighed. “Is that…I don’t know…worrying you guys?”

“How?” Ignacio asked.

"I just feel like Melissa is getting close to the roomies," Kalino replied. "We know she voted for Xidorn. She admitted that's how she felt. And I have a feeling that your fellow Fireworks told you it was a last minute decision?"

Ignacio sighed and nodded. "I admit I was hurt I wasn't part of it, but I didn't mind it. It seemed like the right move."

Weston scratched his chin. "So the girls are hanging out, voting together...are they working together?"

"That's what I'm worried about," Kalino stated. "I got the feeling when Diamonique turned to them she was close to them."

"I suppose I could see that," Ignacio admitted. "But it could have easily as been seeking support from a fellow female. A desperate attempt to evoke girl power as a saving grace."

"Maybe they have one, maybe they don't," Kalino admitted. "I don't think we should give them a chance. Let's form a dudes' alliance."

No one replied, trying to read everyone's reactions. Eventually though, Ignacio shook his head.

"I just don't think I could vote out my old teammates," Ignacio stated.

"I certainly don't want to be the reason Melissa went home," Vance said.

Jasper nodded.

"So you plan on losing to them?" Kalino asked. "You have to vote them out eventually. I mean Iggy, you four can't all go to the final two. And would they take you? Would Melissa take you to the finals Vance, even over her new besties? Could you win against her?"

"I could win against anyone," Vance replied.

"This is all pointless conjecture anyway," Ignacio stated. "There's one flaw in your theory of a girls' alliance. Her name is Tessa."

"Everybody hates Tessa," Weston stated. "Especially Lita."

"Well..."

Everyone turned to look at Jasper...which rarely happened.

"Tessa saved Lita last challenge," Jasper stated. "Like sacrificed herself. Lita was asking me last night if she should forgive Tessa."

"She never mentioned this to me before," Ignacio whispered.

"So what did you tell Lita to do about Tessa?" Vance asked.

"She should do what she felt was best," Jasper admitted.

"If Lita can forgive Tessa, all the girls could," Weston said. "They could be talking about it right now!"

"Let's not get paranoid," Ignacio said.


"Kalino and I weren't always so close," Weston admitted. "We were kind of just two Eagles. But towards the end of the team phase we got closer. Sometime after Vance and I became buds. He's pretty chill and thinks I'm hilarious. He always likes my ideas. It's nice to have someone who supports your ideas!

"I think him, Vance and me in the final three is the best option. I'm not sure if I'd join forces with Ignacio though; he was Easton's friend. Not that I'm still mad at Easton just...I don't know."


"It would be unwise to do a guys' alliance," Ignacio stated. "I mean sure we act like the teams are a relic of the past, but our old teammates are still who we trust most. I guess except Tessa and Jasper. Regardless, if I joined the guy's alliance it would be two Fireworks and three Eagles. Three Eagles who are all best buds. I'd be playing for fifth.

"...Although I don't know if I should be concerned about the girls. I'm not sure how I'm getting to the end honestly..."


Kalino laughed and shrugged. "It was just a thought. Maybe I'm just blowing smoke. We don't have to do a guys' alliance if y'all aren't down. But we do have something we have to do."

Kalino threw off his towel. "It's time."

Ignacio's eyes grew wide. "Time for what?"

"You've been making progress," Kalino stated. "But now it's time for your real test. To really push yourself. It's time to streak."

"Oh no. Oh-"

Vance whooped and threw off his towel. Weston joined in. Jasper blushed, but lowered his towel too.

"Don't worry," Weston said. "We're not letting you do it alone! It's a group streak! That way it's less embarrassing."

"I think that would just make it worse," Ignacio stated.

"Will make it worse," Vance stated. "Cause we're doing it! So are you!"

Vance stood up, revealing it all, and ran up and snatched Ignacio's towel out from under him...revealing he was wearing loose swim trunks. Ignacio forced a smile.

"Dude the point of the sauna was to be in your birthday suit in a safe, public setting," Kalino said.

"I got this swimsuit on my birthday," Ignacio stated. "Technicality."

"Are you really not going to do this?" Kalino asked. "Even with us all supporting you?"

Ignacio sighed, stood up...and blushed as red as he's been as he kicked off his trunks. The guys clapped and cheered.

"It's not like we haven't seen you naked before," Weston said. "In fact we've seen you nude lots of times. Like-"

"-Not helping," Ignacio stated.


"Ahhh! My eyes! I need disinfectant! I need bleach! I need counseling!"

The other four girls turned to Tessa as she covered her eyes and scoffed. They came to the window and immediately saw her why she was now having a moment.

"Are the guys...streaking?" Ness asked.

"Ignacio is even there!" Riley laughed. "This is too hilarious. We should totally join in!"

"Over your dead body," Tessa replied.

"Is Iggy being blackmailed into it?" Lita teased. "He has to, right?"

Lita lifted the window and whistled out at it. She giggled as Ignacio blushed just as she expected, though she also blushed when a few of the guys noticed her. Riley was bawling while Tessa refused to look. Melissa just smiled but closed her eyes. And Ness...

"If you ever question there's a higher power, this is proof," Ness stated.

The other girls shot Ness a look, causing the littlest newcomer to blush. But she didn't look away.


It was past dinner, as the newcomers gathered in around in the dining hall, just chatting. Chatting and waiting for the challenge that was supposed to come. It was getting late and they still hadn't heard or seen Rhonda. What had the higher ups sprung on her, and them, this time?

They didn't realize they were about to find out...


Through the Pentagram doors, a handsome young man led someone dressed like an intern, ten teens and a camera crew through the lobby. 

A green-eyed blonde girl shivered. “Does anyone else find this place…”

She turned to look at a portrait with shifting eyes, then a lump moving in the rug, and finally a vulture circling them in the sky.

“...creepy?”

“I was going with tacky,” the leader said. He walked up to the front desk, running his finger across it and blowing away dust. “Are you sure this is the place Mana?”

The intern with fabulous hair nodded. “I hope so…”

The handsome man dinged the bell...and waited. After a few seconds he rang it again. No response. He picked up the bell and chucked it down the hall.

“My eye!”

Vance walked up from down the hall, rubbing his eye. “Who in tarnation threw a bell?”

“Mana you didn’t tell me this was Western themed!” the leader stated. “Where’s my hat at?”

“So all Americans are cowboys,” a short smiling girl gasped.

“Not all of them Malia,” a cowgirl muttered.

“You do remember Colin wasn’t, right?” a brunette in cheetah print asked.

“It might have been an improvement,” another blonde said. She had red streaks in her hair.

“We’re here for our rooms,” the handsome man stated.

“Well go get them then,” Vance scoffed. 

“We’re staying at this hotel,” a boy in a cap added. “Unfortunately."

“Oh,” Vance replied. “You the new interns or somethin’?”

“Do I like an intern to you?” the girl with red streaks asked. “This Cherrylicious face is TV made!”

“For a crime show maybe,” the brunette added. 

From down the hall, Melissa and some of the others walked up.

“How many bellhops does it take to get a room in this place?” a girl with glasses asked.

“You didn’t see all the bags Cherry brought,” the boy with the cap teased. The girl with streaks, Cherry, glared at him.

“Cool, new interns!” Weston cheered. 

“I’m here for a room,” the handsome man stated. “I need your best suite. Run a bubble bath in your master suite, rose petals decorating the room and your finest scented candles lit. I’ll take a three course meal delivered by room service. And six rooms for them.”

“How generous,” Tessa stated.

“That sounds like a wonderful stay,” Melissa said. “But um...this hotel is unfortunately closed?”

“Closed?” he asked. “But I was told I’d be staying here!”

Melissa paused and stared at the young man’s face for a moment. “I’m sorry...have we met before? You seem very familiar?”

“I doubt it,” the man replied. “But I’m sure you’ve probably seen my face. I am the host of-”

“Oh my god, it’s you!” Ness squeeed, jumping up and down.

the man smirked. “Yes, yes it’s me. Autographs are twenty dollars, thirty for a self-”

Ness ran forward and pushed him aside, walking up to a brunette boy carrying a guitar case. 

“You’re Andre!” Ness exclaimed, blushing deep red. “I can’t believe it! I’ve listened to your debut single like a hundred times.”

The hairy teen with the guitar, Andre, blushed. “Really? I’ve never actually met a fan before..I think you might be my first one.”

Ness giggled and blushed even redder, stepping back and tripping over Cherry’s luggage, faceplanting on the floor.

“Maybe I need to learn to play an instrument,” Ignacio mumbled.

“Who is this again honey?” Lita asked, helping her friend from off the floor.

“It’s Andre!” Ness giggled. “Remember I was telling you about him, from Total Drama Frozen! The Canadian version of Total Drama. Wait if you’re here then that means…are you all the cast of Total Drama Tides?”

“Duh,” Cherry replied. “Have you been living under a rock?”

“Kind of,” Riley admitted.

Melissa snapped her fingers. “Wait a minute, Zac right?”

“Finally!” the handsome man, Zac, exclaimed.

“You’re Hayden’s little Canadian boyfriend, right?” Melissa asked. "

Zac's eyes grew wide. “Hayden? You’ve talked to Hayden? Is he here?”

“Preferably shirtless after a workout?” An attractive boy added.

One of the arrivals adjusted her glasses. “I thought it was suspicious that you were all teens. But the fact you know Hayden can only mean one thing; you’re the cast of the American Total Drama.”

“Also they have people filming us all over,” the boy in the cap added.

“Oh yeah,” A short blonde boy said. “Damien's right. I didn’t notice those cameras.”

“Wait, they were on this show the whole time?” Weston asked. “I’m worse with names than I thought.”

“No Weston,” Vance replied. “It’s worse than that they’re...Canadian!” 

“Can we backtrack a little,” Kalino said. “Hayden was dating the Canadian Rhonda?”

“Do I look frumpy and sad to you?” Zac asked.

“How do you know this Andre guy if it’s a current season,” Ignacio asked. “Just you know, out of curiosity…”

“Andre was on the last season,” Ness said. “I heard he got on the new season! I’m totally rooting for you by the way.”

Andre blushed again. “Well, so far so good. I am at the final ten.”

“We’re at the final ten too,” Ness said.

“Woah, so you guys are like parallel versions of us,” Alfie, the short blond boy, said.

The cowgirl shook her head. “Alfie that’s not-”

“Woah!” Weston exclaimed. “Like our mirror world counterparts! Who’s Canadian Weston?”

“Can someone explain what’s going on here?” Damien, the boy in the cap, asked. 

Zac turned to his intern. “Mana."

“So this hotel is really-”

“Mana.”

“By the way, your hair is-”

“MANA. Why are we at the location of Rhonda’s show?” Zac asked. “Because if her little troop of teens is here, then that can only mean-”

“-What’s all the commotion?”

Rhonda exited the stairway and immediately froze. “No. *********. Way.”

Zac and Rhonda immediately locked eyes. 

“Zac,” Rhonda stated.

“Rhonda,” Zac replied. “You look nice for someone who’s supposed to be dead.”

“And you look mature,” Rhonda replied. “Is that a gray hair?”

“Don’t even joke,” Zac gasped.

“Rhonda!” Malia, the short smiling girl, cheered. Most of the other Tides teens cheered too. The Genesis newcomers raised an eyebrow. 

Mana ran up to Rhonda, glomping her. “Rhonda! You have no idea how much I missed you.”

Rhonda was startled for a second, before bursting into a smile and hugging him back. “I missed you too Mana!”

“I get what’s going on here,” Zac said. 

“I’m glad someone does,” Tessa said. 

“You arranged this whole trip Mana,” Zac stated. “Just so you could see your old buddy Rhonda.”

Mana rubbed the back of his head. “That’s not exactly what I-”

“You lied to me that this was hotel so you could trick me to coming here,” Zac said.

“I mean you could have actually checked out the hotel,” Damien said. “You know like done an Internet search or-”

Zac turned to Damien, immediately silencing him with a glare.

Rhonda groaned. “The producers said that we would be temporarily offering rooms to some special guests...they failed to mention it was you. Why are you even staying here?”

“We’re hiding from an army of evil pirates,” the cowgirl said. “Again.”

“That sounds hardcore!” Riley cheered.

“All we’ve done is capture a serial killer’s ghost,” Vance pouted.

“I’m still a bit confused,” Lita asked. “So you know these people Rhonda?”

Rhonda nodded. “Before I could get the job as Genesis’ host, the network wanted to prove I could host and gain some experience. So I worked as a co-host on Canada's current Total Drama season. This old man is their host Zac, who I worked under until Genesis started.”

Zac rolled his eyes. “You conveniently left out the part where you cast my American boyfriend on your show to spite me and then let me think you had been killed while you left.”

“It sounds bad when you say it like that!” Rhonda replied.

“How do you make it sound good?” Tessa asked.

“Wait, who's the guy with the pretty hair?” Weston asked.

Zac smirked. “I’m Zac, former executive producer of TD, now beloved host-”

“-I was talking about the guy still hugging Rhonda,” Weston said.

“I’m Mana,” the guy greeted. “Rhonda and I kind of co-hosted together under Zac. It’s wonderful to meet Rhonda’s friends.”

“Friends isn’t how I’d describe it,” Ignacio said.

“More like the opposite of how I’d describe it,” Kalino stated.

“So in that reality, Rhonda was an alternate Jenny?” Weston asked.

“Weston sweetie,” Melissa said. “Canada is not an alternate universe.”

“I think they pronounce it as North Mexico there,” Riley added. 

“The only good thing about being here is that I get to see Hayden,” Zac sighed. “Where is he?”

The Genesis cast shared a look.

“Awkward,” Vance whispered.

“I’m guessing it’s fair to say your boytoy has been eliminated,” the girl with glasses stated.

“WHAT?” Zac asked.

“It’s sad but true,” Melissa sighed. 

“They did say this was the final ten,” the cowgirl said.

“I only count like nine of these wannabes,” Cherry stated.

Jasper raised his hand. “You probably missed me…”

“Wait...you’re a contestant?” Alfie asked.

“You’re a person?” Cherry asked. “I thought you were a potted plant.”

“I get that a lot,” Jasper sighed. 

“You mean you All American Rejects voted out Hayden last episode?” Zac asked. 

“More like...several episodes ago,” Vance stated.

"REALLY?” Zac asked. “My sweet Hayden is way too good to be voted off before the merge like some loser?”

“Thanks Zac,” Damien sighed, as he, Cherry, Tessa and Jasper glared at the host.

“So not to cut this happy, weird reunion short,” the cowgirl said. “But...are we staying here?”

“I’d rather die,” Zac replied.

“By pirates out for our head?” the girl in cheetah print asked. 

“There blades were pretty pointy,” the green-eyed blonde added. 

“I don’t care what the network says,” Rhonda said. “If you think I’m letting you stay here and micromanage me Zac then-”

“Ooh please Rhonda,” Malia begged. “I’ve always wanted to live and act wild like a crazy American teenage girl.”

“Crazy and wild?” Tessa asked. “My day today consisted of doing laundry.” 

“I’m just happy to see Rhonda again,” Damian stated.

Mana nodded, still hugging her. 

Rhonda blushed. “Well...even if it means giving Zac a room, if it means you sailors get to stay here then welcome to the Pentagram!”

The sailors cheered as Zac rolled his eyes.

“You mean it?” the blonde girl asked.

“Of course,” Rhonda replied. “You know I love all of y’all!”

“Love?” Vance asked.

“I didn’t know Rhonda was capable of that anymore,” Lita asked. 

“It is like a parallel world,” Ness said. “One where Rhonda is nice and liked?”

“It must be the evil universe,” Tessa shuddered.

Between the applause, Cherry coughed. “Um, aren’t you going to introduce us?

“I would love to meet this new cast you’ve been telling me about,” Mana replied.

"Oh right,” Rhonda said. “Newcomers, meet the sailors of Total Drama Tides! This is Alfie.”

The short blonde boy in denim sniffed the air. “Do I smell...sweets?”

“And Andre…”

The hairy brunette guy nodded, setting down his guitar. Ness clapped quietly.

“Cherry…”

The blonde with red streaks in her hair blew a kiss towards the male newcomers before talking a selfie of them behind her.

“Damian…”

The short, Asian teen in the ball cap winked at the cast. To longtime Total Drama fans, he looked familiar...

“Malia…”

The shortest sailor, an Indian girl with a bright smile, waved at the others. Cherry elbowed her. 

“Oh,” Malia replied, blowing an awkward kiss at them in imitation of Cherry. The It-Girl nodded in approval.

“Sam.”

The attractive blonde teen, who was staring at Ignacio, came to attention as his name was called. He blushed and waved.

“Sarah…”

The green-eyed blonde girl did an overdramatic bow, though she seemed a little worn out. 

“Trixie…who’s sporting a new look?”

The cowgirl blushed, tipping her hat. “It’s a long story.”

“Viola…”

The brunette in cheetah print shrugged, not bothering to smile.

“And finally Yasmin.”

The girl with the glasses didn’t look up from her journal, taking notes on everything around her. 

“Interesting to see who all made the final ten,” Rhonda admitted. “But I’m super happy for you guys!”

“What about us?” Lita asked.

“Huh?” Rhonda said. “Uh, yeah. These are our final ten newcomers of Total Drama Genesis, America’s first Total Drama season!”

“And probably last,” Zac whispered.

“Ignacio…”

The model shyly waved at all the stares, Cherry, Malia and Sam more intense than the others.

“Kalino…”

Kalino flashed a peace sign at them.

“Lita…”

Lita winked at the newcomers, the guys and Viola blushing.

“Melissa…”

“A pleasure to have you with us!” Melissa greeted.

“Ness…”

Ness blushed and waved, trying not to trip while standing.

“Riley.”

“S’up,” Riley greeted, pointing finger guns at them. “Welcome to America dudes.”

“Tessa.”

Tessa forced a smile and waved.

“Vance.”

“Howdy,” Vance replied, tipping his cowboy hat...and knocking it off. 

“And Weston.”

Weston didn’t react, counting the others while trying to figure out who was whose alternative universe counterpart.

Lita shook her head. “Rhonda you forgot-”

“And Jasper of course!” Rhonda added with a forced laugh. Who could get forget lovable Jasper? Certainly not me.”

Jasper tried to smile and wave...but none of the sailors seemed to notice him.

“Where is he?” Sarah asked.

“Is he behind that potted plant?” Damian asked.

“Thanks anyway,” Jasper whispered to Lita.


“Now that the overly long intros are done,” Zac said. “I guess we should figure out where we’re staying.” 

“We were supposed to do a challenge today,” Rhonda said. “But I guess we’ll postpone it for another day.”

“Woooo!” the Genesis cast cheered.

“Glad to know you’re so lenient as a host,” Zac said. “Good thing I’m here to give you advice.”

“You’re one to talk,” Rhonda replied. “Mana and I had to host an elimination ceremony while you canoodled with Hayden in the hottub!”

The two hosts walked off squabbling, as the sailors and newcomers stood there awkwardly chatting amongst their own groups.


The camera panned away from the doors where the two hosts had just exited. A familiar duo walked down the staircase into the lobby, Toby’s whistling filling the empty air where yelling had just taken place.

“Do you think that’s him?” Toby whispered to Jenny as they closed in on where the teens waited. 

“His hair isn’t that fabulous.” Jenny assured him. “Right?”

“Right!” Toby confirmed. The pair shared a nervous glance before jumping off of the final step to face the crowd. 

“So… Uh Rhonda might kill us for this but since she’s going to be occupied for most of the night now,” Toby started before Jenny excitedly cut him off. 

“And well, since there are so many of you again! And we have all these party supplies…..” The pair pulled out fire crackers and set the room aglow. “We’re throwing a FIESTA!” Jenny looked at the Canadians who seemed confused. “That means party.” 

Melissa frowned, “But I haven’t had a chance to prepare enough baked goods for such an event!”

The scene cut to show an image of the hotel kitchen being buried with baked goods, before cutting back to crowd. 

“I’m sure we’ll manage Melly!” Weston eagerly cheered biting into a chocolate chip muffin. “My detective’s intuition says there’s more than enough!” 

“Does he remind you of someone?” Damien whispered into Yasmin’s ear as he looked at Weston and then at Alfie. 

“Clearly lack of brain power is a trait that gets you far in this show,” Yasmin noted. “No matter what country you’re from.”

“Not cool brah. Not cool,” Kalino shook his head in disappointment. “Aren’t you supposed to be extra nice or something?” 

“KALINO!” Ness half-shouted. “You’re in the presence of royalty! You can’t speak to them like that.” 

Sarah looked around excitedly, “Is Zaina here!? I really need another girls night!”

“It’s Heather’s little brother! Damien!” Ness cheered wrapping her arms around Damien. “Your sister was one of my idols… Well not really, but she was so important to the first season!” 

“He’s Heather’s little brother?” Alfie asked confused. 

Andre shrugged. “I thought he looked familiar.” 

Sam turned to the co-hosts of Genesis. “Lead the way to the party!”

Lita grabbed onto Sam’s hand. “Finally someone who knows what’s up!”

Jenny and Toby looked up at the teens. “Mana! Could you help out? We just need some more streamers from upstairs in room 711.” Jenny asked innocently, while she and Toby hid their grins. 

“Oh uh.. Sure? Why not! I’ll be right back!” Mana cheerfully agreed, while the duo shared a fist-bump once he was out of sight. 

“Good luck taking Rhonda away from us now,” Toby snickered. 


The pair led the teenagers to a large room they hadn’t been to before. Flashing lights, and music filled the space. Along the edges of the room tables were filled with food and totally non-alcoholic beverages.

“You sure Rhonda won’t miss these?” Toby asked looking around the room. 

“They were meant for the finale night… We’ll just replace them before then!” 

“Dance with me Vi!” Sam begged. “I could use it.”

He dragged her onto the dance floor. No Excuses, by Meghan Trainor blasting off of the walls. 

Viola stared at the teen. “Do I look like I dance?” 

“This is America! Brosky.” Riley laughed as she placed a pair of hot pink shades over Viola’s face. “Everyone dances!”

The teen did the moonwalk as she left the pair. 

“I LOVE IT HERE!” Sam announced loudly, as the other teens erupted into a cheer. 

Off to the side Ness was dancing in place beside Lita who was truly letting loose.

“I’ve never been to a real party before!” Ness giggled. “My parents always thought it would be a bad idea. But nothing bad has happened!” 

“Oh girly, the party’s just starting!” She teased getting closer to Ness to help her loosen up. 

Ness blushed as Lita’s body got closer to hers. “Are you going to ask Jasper to dance?” She shouted over the music. “I saw the look you gave him at the last challenge!” 

Lita eyed Jasper, who was eating from the bowl of pretzels at the far end of the room.

“Why would I do that?” She sighed. “It’s not like the last boy I liked really worked out for me. I don’t need to embarrass myself on television twice!” 

Ness paused. “I feel like it’s been more than twice…” 

“Ness! That’s besides the point! Just because he’s really cute, and kinda sweet and a great listener…. Well uh, doesn’t mean he likes me!” Lita smirked. “Are you going to ask Ignacio to dance?” 

“I can’t do that!” Ness blushed. “I’m not ready for that!” 

“Then I guess we’ll just dance with each other!” Lita said before being interrupted by Andre asking Ness to dance. 

Ness blinked. “M-M-Me?” She asked, but Lita instantly shoved her into Andre’s arms as the pair drifted to the center of the room, becoming the first inter-show dancing partners. 


Andre looked around the dusty elevator. “Ah yes… Let’s make America great again.” He chuckled. “But Ness seemed really nice... And she was a fan of mine, and there’s no way there won’t be a challenge here, so I need all the help and info I can get.” He shrugged. “I’ll win this whole thing for you Dania!” 


Sarah sighed as she poured herself a glass of sparkling water. “Elyar… I don’t know what I’m doing here. You never trained me for this. I thought it was all just for fun.” She pouted staring at the watch on her wrist. “I’m not actually a secret agent. I was able to help Zaina with everyone else's help… But it’s just me now.” 

“You don’t have to be just you! No bro’s left behind!” Riley chimed in, offering Sarah a fist bump. “So are you going to introduce me to your imaginary friend, or am I not cool enough for that just yet?”

Sarah gave a weak smile. “Elyar was my first friend on my season.”

She let out a puff of air. “And I promised I’d do something for him… but it’s just….”

“Complicated,” Riley confirmed. “I know the feeling! I feel like everyone here is on the edge of making out in the broom closet!” 

“Oh no,” Sarah let out a groan. “You’re reminding me of my first summer at band camp.”

She shook her head trying to get the image out. 

“Dancing will help,” Riley offered. “Besides if you stay here any longer I’ll feel like America failed you, and we just can’t have that now can we!” 

Sarah smiled. “You’re honestly an adorable little human.” 

“Eh. I’ll take it!” Riley chuckled dragging Sarah out to the dance floor. 


The scene cut to show Melissa piling baked goods onto a plate in the kitchen. “Thanks again so much for helping me Weston! I’m sure everyone will appreciate all of the cookies we baked!” She sniffed the air, “I put an extra dash of love in this batch!”

She looked down at the teen who had inhaled the cookies. 

“SUGAR!” Alfie cheered. 

“Wait…. You’re not Weston. How could I have gotten this muggled up.” Melissa sighed. “But I am so glad you love the cookies!”

Elsewhere Cherry was detailing all of the things that were wrong with Trixie to who she thought was Alfie. “If she ever loved you, she wouldn’t have just broken up with you. Like that’s not a Cheryliscious thing to do, and like she totes was just using you for that weird fetish athlete book thing. Like what the bleep.”

Cherry turned to the camera. “In Canada, we bleep ourselves, because like swearing is wrong.” She flashed a smile. 

“Which one was Trixie again?” Weston sighed looking out at the dancing teens, “I don’t think Cynthia would like it if another girl loved me.” 

Cherry blinked. “Well who in the cherry are you?!”

“I’m Weston!" The twin offered his hand to the girl. 

“Ok, like bye?” Cherry rolled her eyes, leaving in search of her allies. Weston waved awkwardly at his new friend. 


The camera panned to wear Yasmin stared at a painting. “This is oddly specific and out of place for a haunted hotel.” The scholar noted looking down at her notebook. “It has to just be a coincidence though…” 

“The Kraken dragging down the ship.” Kalino nodded. “A true classic. People fear the Kraken, but I think he’s a sign of growth.” 

Yasmin stared at the relaxed surfer. “How so. It’s a mythological creature of mass destruction."

“And after destruction comes rebirth.” Kalino exhaled. “It’s all about finding that inner zen.”

He stripped off his shirt and sat cross-legged on the floor. 

“Pardon? But no," Yasmin stated. "There is nothing peaceful about this. In fact this must just be the producers messing with me."

“Find your chill.” Kalino offered grabbing onto Yasmin’s hand. “You need it.” 

“She honestly does,” Damien teased as he walked past the pair with Tessa.

Yasmin glared at Kalino’s hand. “No touching!”

She swatted his hand away. “I don’t have time for this kind of interaction.”

Yasmin climbed onto Kalino’s back and reached for the painting. “I need to inspect this further.”

She kicked the side of Kalino and said, “Take me to the nearest laboratory.” 

“Pardon here, lassy, but I don’t think that Kalino is your personal steed.” 

Kalino sighed as Yasmine’s legs tightened their grip around his torso. “How about we double the chill for you?”

He pulled out a bath bomb from… Well the narrator isn’t entirely sure, and held it in front of Yasmin. “I bet you haven’t had a bath in a long time. Rhonda has an ultra-top secret spa here, that we’re not supposed to know about if you want to try it!” 

Cherry raced over grabbing the bath bomb. “LIKE DIBS!”

She cheered, her eyes going wide, gripping the bath bomb like it was her savior. “It’s been like totes too long since I had an opportunity to relax my pores!”

Cherry gave the peace sign as she raced out of the room, following the scent of lavender bubbles. 


It didn’t take long for Cherry to find the ‘ultra top-secret’ spa. In fact she followed the arrows along the walls of the hotel. The spa was spacious, with steam blurring the air.

“C to the H to the E!” Cherry sang to herself as she began to strip off her clothes.

A not-so-silent gulp stopped Cherry in her tracks.

“Hello? Is this like where the totes not cool serial killer is waiting to like axe me in half because like, could you at least cut off a few extra pounds before you like leave so people will forever see me as the Cherrylicious babe, and not the chunky monkey the show is turning me into?” She begged pulling at the ‘fat’ on her stomach. 

“No. That was last challenge, it’s just me," Jacob Jasper sighed. “Did you really not see me?”

Cherry’s eyes went wide. “Well like. Why are you still here?”

She gasped covering up her cherrylicious goods. “Also, like why are the butlers in the spa?” 

Jared banged his head against the wall. “It’s Jasper. You know the guy who…” He paused, trying to think of a way to describe himself. “Well, I’m a newcomer on Genesis.” 

“Is that… Like the best you got?” Cherry asked, shaking her head. “Come on, like you must be something more than that?!”

She scoffed. “What kind of wannabes did they like recruit for the American show.” 

“They meant to get my brother but there was a mistake,” Jasper explained. 

“Oh.” Cherry frowned. “Like don’t tell anyone I did this but.” The It-Girl wrapped her arms around the boy, forgetting her lack of clothing. “Like everyone deserves to be someone.”

After a brief hug she shoved Jasper out of the spa. “Now like leave. I need to like shine.” 

Jasper stood out the door awkwardly. “But uh...that’s the men’s changing room…”


The scene cut to show Damien and Tessa pouring themselves a glass of the punch. “Aren’t you that big-shot gold medalist Tiffany or something?”

Tessa stared the shorter teen. “Aren’t you demon-Heather’s dweeb brother?”

“Touche.” Damien shrugged raising his glass for cheers. 

“What are we toasting for?”

“Making things better,” The sailor offered a smile. “I’m here to help my sister. You’re… well I don’t know why you’re here.” He paused. “This is my second chance at this. I can’t screw it up again, not until I prove them all wrong.” 

Tessa sighed. “I’m kind of here for the same reason.”

“This your second chance too?” Damian asked. “How did an Olympian get voted off from her team?”

“By being the worst,” Tessa admitted. “I was almost as bad as Heather.”

“Allegedly was,” Damian stated sternly. 

Tessa forced a nervous smile and nodded. Damian returned to his chipper self and the two clinked their glasses.


Tessa raised an eyebrow as she sat in a different confessional than usual; a giant clamshell. “I guess we can use this as an alternate confessional while the Tides cast is here? It’s somehow less tacky than our elevator at least…”

Tessa shifted in the clam. “I loved Total Drama when it started. I still watched after that terrible fifth season...even if I still did relate to a few of those players in it. I admit there’s a quite a few past players I disliked, but honestly? I’ve always hated Heather. She was the mean, popular girl. The original antagonist. After being eliminated the first time, I kinda realized that one of the main reasons I hated Heather is…

Tessa groaned. ”...because she reminded me of my own bullies. I don’t really believe Heather was falsely edited, but I want to believe Damien. But I do that my own ‘Heather’ moments weren’t; they were very real.”


“Is it true your school has special flag twirlers when you say the Pledge of Allegiance?”

Lita laughed. With Ness gone, Lita was now being asked questioned by her new dance partner, Malia.

“Not at my school,” Lita replied.

“Do you release the Eagles before or after the fireworks on 4th of July?”

“Girl, who told you all this stuff?” Lita asked.

“Zac,” Malia replied. “He’s dating an American, so he should know.”

“Either Hayden has some weird traditions or your host was just joshing you,” Lita said.

Malia blushed. “Oh. Darn, being American seemed really fun and silly.”

“I don’t think we’re that different,” Lita said. “I mean America and Canada aren’t exactly twins, but maybe we’re more similar than we are different.”

“Really?” Malia asked. “I think we are pretty different.”

“We’re both the prettiest girls on shows, aren’t we?” Lita teased. 

Malia blushed and giggled. “Of course! Speaking of, where did you get that scarf? I’ve been thinking I should get one; they're very chic!”

“This thing?” Lita replied. “Uhh...from a thrift store. That’s all. It’s not a big deal.”

“Darn,” Malia said. “I know scarves are all the rage in America along with bear cubs in your purses...or was that another lie?”

“Why ask me all these questions?” Lita said, shaking her head.

“I guess I just thought it’s because you look like what I thought a wild American girl was,” Malia admitted. 

“Excuse me?” Lita asked.

“I just meant...free and pretty,” Malia replied. 

Lita forced a smile. “Thanks sweetheart, but really you’re gorgeous. Who says you don’t have some freedom? You’re far from home!” You sail the seven seas! You’re in a whole other country!”

“The land of the free,” Malia giggled.

“Point is you can do whatever you want,” Lita replied. “So let’s live it up. If you want to get wild...then let’s get wild.”

Malia nodded as Lita motioned her to follow.


At the other end of the room, Ignacio sat by himself. He watched as Andre and Ness dance. Ignacio stood up and started to walk over...only to run into Sam.

“Oops,” Sam said as his drink spilled on Ignacio’s shirt. “My bad, I was watching that shirtless meditating guy and...woah.”

“It’s fine,” Ignacio replied. “It happens all the time actually.”

“I guess you better take it off,” Sam replied. “Get it in the wash before it stains.”

“What were you drinking?” Ignacio asked.

“Uhh...grape soda,” Sam answered. “It’s the worst really. But if you get it cleaned soon.”

“I guess I should go change,” Ignacio replied.

“No time!” Sam shouted. “You need to take it off now.”

Ignacio blushed. “Then I’d be shirtless and what would I-”

“You can borrow my shirt,” Sam replied, already having taken off his shirt. “I can even put yours in the wash if you need me to!”

“Do you even have knowledge of its location?” Iggy asked.

“You could show me,” Sam replied. “And while we wait for it to wash, maybe you, me and that Kalino fellow could stop by the spa and-”

“Pardon me, I left an excuse in my room I need to go attend to,” Ignacio stated, before running off.

“Wait!” Sam called. “I can help you with that too! Did I mention I just broke up and am so single?”


Alfie strolled out of the kitchen with sweets in his hand...but stopped as Weston stood right in front of him, also carrying a handful of sweets. The two stopped, starring at each other. Alfie raised his hand and Weston did the same. Weston titled his head and Alfie did the same. Both started mimicking each other.

“Is this a mirror?” Alfie finally said.

“I think so,” Weston replied.

“A magic mirror!” Alfie gasped.

“No way,” Weston said. “But wait...do I usually look that short?”

“And what happened to my hair?” Alfie asked.

“Wait...are we seeing parallel realities?” Weston asked. “Which means…”

“Your alternate universe me!” The two exclaimed.

“I’ve seen some crazy stuff on this show,” Alfie said. “But this is amazing. Wait...do you think we can travel?”

Weston’s eyes grew wide. He slowly tip-toed over, until he could reach Alfie’s hand. Alfie ‘pulled’ Weston through, and the two fell on the floor.

“It’s not just a mirror, it’s a portal!” Weston exclaimed.

Tessa shook her head. “This maybe the saddest thing I’ve seen today.”

“Just today?” Damien asked.

“So what should we do now that we’ve traveled worlds?” Weston asked.

Alfie scratched his chin. “Well…”

Two minutes later, Aflie and Weston were stuffing their faces with sweets.


Trixie starred forlorn at Alfie as she poured herself a glass of punch.

“Pardon me mam.”

Trixie turned to see Vance smiling at her.

“Are you from Tennessee?” Vance asked. “Cause you're the only ten I see!”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Is that supposed to mean something?”

Vance facepalmed. “Of course. You foreign gals don’t have a Tennessee. Let’s see...are you angel? Because you are the answer to my prays."

“Wow,” Trixie forced a laugh. “Has that line ever worked before?”

“All the time,” Vance replied.

“It’s hilarious,” Trixie said.

“It’s funny because it’s true,” Vance replied. “I can tell you and I are kindred spirits.”

Vance tipped her cowgirl hat.

“It’s going to be a hard pass,” Trixie replied. “I’m getting over a breakup...and have standards.”

“There’s only one sure fire way to get over heartbreak,” Vance replied.

“Yeah, and I can’t find any ice cream,” Trixie replied.

“Come on,” Vance replied. “Have you ever been with a rodeo star before?”

Trixie blushed. “I mean...no. But I’m not trying to date athletes anymore just to date them.”

“Even ones with cute mustaches?” Vance asked.

Trixie smirked. “Tell you what bub. How about we arm wrestle for it. You win, I’ll dance with you. You lose, and you go away.”

“I’d hate to hurt you,” Vance replied.

“Or lose?” Trixie teased.

Vance glared, shoving the punch bowl off the table and slapping down his arm. “Let’s go!”

Trixie got in position and the two went out it. Immediately, Trixie slammed Vance’s arm down.

“Rematch!” Vance shouted.

“Sure,” Trixie replied. “I can beat you all night…”

The two went at it and once again Trixie almost had Vance pinned...till he coughed on her face.

“Ack!” Trixie cried out, before Vance took her down in the moment of surprise.

“Yeehaw!” Vance cheered.

“That doesn’t count,” Trixie sighed.

“A win’s a win darlin,” Vance replied. “So how about a square dance?”

“You really know how to treat a girl, don’t cha?”


BOOM.

All the teens ran outside as they heard the sound of an explosion. As they exited the hotel they saw the sky being lit up by a colorful fireworks display. Lita and Malia, the two culprits, bumped fists at the others watched them.

“Ooh pretty,” Sarah sighed.

Off by herself, Viola sighed and rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe it.”

“I know! Isn’t it just a wonderful way to cap off the night?”

Viola turned to Melissa standing there. She held out a plate of fresh, heart shaped snickerdoodles. “I noticed you haven’t been eating much. Would you care for a cookie...Viola isn’t it?”

Viola shook her head. “I’m not hungry for...that.”

“Is there anything you are hungry for?” Melissa asked. “I’m sure it’s been rough out at sea, probably having to cook for yourself.”

“Are you a maid at this hotel or just have a mom complex?” Viola said.

“Oh no, I just like helping people,” Melissa replied. “You know, sharing a little love with everyone. Baking is just the easiest way.”

Viola cringed. “That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever heard. And I’ve almost been killed by pirates. A few times actually…”

Viola turned and shook her head at the fireworks. “Do they even have a permit for this?”

“Probably not,” Melissa said. “Ms. Rhonda won’t be happy that Lita and your friend did this. Still, it does fit the rather special occasion. Fireworks are kind of like an explosive night rainbow!”

“No wonder I hate them,” Viola admitted.

“Hate?” Melissa asked. “Isn’t that a bit of strong word?”

Viola nodded. “You’re right. Despise is more like it. You know we see fireworks all the time on Tides. They shoot off fireworks of our face if we’re safe at elimination.”

“Ooh,” Melissa gasped. “How charmingly unique.”

Viola rolled her eyes. “They’re an omen. The more you see your face up there, the more false hope it gives you. If you don’t see your face, that means it’s it. You don’t even go out with a bang. You’re just gone. Like Fleur or Grayson or Hannah.”

Viola turned and walked off to the hotel, not waiting for Melissa to reply.


The next morning, the newcomers and sailors ate breakfast together.

“This place did seem a little scary,” Sarah admitted. “But it’s pretty amazing you get to live in this hotel.”

“Not as cool as living in a pirate ship,” Riley replied. “Finding ancient treasure, fighting bad guys, playing the accordion and singing sea shanties…”

Sarah giggled. “We don’t usually do that last part. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting when Rhonda asked me to join…”

“Another improvement you have on us,” Ignacio stated. “A better host.”

“Are you kidding?” Damien asked. “Zac is the worst. He’s not kind or cool like Rhonda.”

“Rhonda and cool in the same sentence?” Kalino asked. “You only see that if ‘is not’ is in-between them.”

“I don’t know how you all knew Ms. Rhonda,” Melissa stated. “But she’s changed. Even when I met her before the show, she seemed enthusiastic and sweet but now she’s desperate, meaner-”

“-I refuse to believe that,” Damien said. “At least she’s not an egomaniac like Zac.”

“Zac is actually a sweet guy,” Sarah stated. “I think maybe this show or job has changed him too. Maybe it changes everyone…”

“Attention sailors and...whatever the rest of you are again,” Zac said over the P.A.

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” Viola said.

“Your challenge is in ten minutes,” Zac stated.

“Give me back the speaker!” Rhonda screamed.

“Over my, ahh! Don’t touch the hair!”

The P.A. cut to static.


Mana motioned for Jenny and Toby to follow him into Rhonda’s office, where the two hosts were facing away from each other with their arms crossed.

“I have a plan,” Mana whispered, not noticing Jenny and Toby’s glares. “Um, everything is almost set up for today’s challenge.”

“Thanks Mana,” Rhonda replied.

“Mana tell Rhonda not to talk to my intern,” Zac stated. “And also, stop being buddy-buddy with her!”

“But-”

“Like that party you threw last night,” Zac said.

“That was you Mana?” Rhonda asked.

“Well-”

“Yup!” Jenny replied, pushing Mana forward. “Mana snuck into your secret supplies and used everything we were saving for the finale. Tsk, tsk.”

“Wonderful idea Mana!” Rhonda stated.

“Wait...what?” Jenny asked.

“That stuff’s easily replaceable,” Rhonda replied. “But that party was a brilliant idea to get more footage for the crossover special the network wants us to do.”

Mana blushed. “I can’t take all the credit; Jenny and Toby helped too.”

“Oh don’t be modest,” Rhonda said. “They wouldn’t do actual work like that.”

“On second thought maybe we should get rid of her,” Jenny whispered.

“There is one thing you need both to approve before the challenge,” Mana said. “It’s in a broom closet down the hall, all the way inside. That also requires us to take a chair.”

“Okay,” Rhonda replied. “Makes sense.”

Toby facepalmed.


Minutes later, Mana propped the chair against a door knob as Zac and Rhonda screamed for inside of the closet.

“You don’t think they’ll be too upset, do you?” Mana asked.

“MANAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Toby shrugged. “It’ll be fine.”


The sailors and newcomers stood apart in two groups, each standing across from their respective co-hosts.

“Where’s Ms. Rhonda and Mr. Zac?” Melissa asked.

Mana gulped. “Um...they’re...busy. We’ll be filling in for them today.”

“I hope your intern is better than our co-hosts,” Tessa whispered to Damien.

“He’s certainly cuter,” Damien teased.

“The network loves the idea of a crossover,” Mana said. “They think it's great promotion for the Total Drama brand.”

“Shouldn’t they be more worried about us being on the run?” Viola asked.

“Guess that’s great for the brand too,” Jenny teased. “They think this Total Drama Crossover can get viewers interested in each others seasons, so they can start airing Tides in America.”

“Genesis already airs in Canada,” Mana added. “But this will make it even more popular!”

“The crossover maybe good for international markets,” Toby added.

“Our season is more popular in Canada than its home country?” Ignacio whispered to Riley, who just shrugged.

“So both casts will participate in today’s challenge!” Mana stated.

“Obviously,” Yasmin replied. “Who hadn’t figured out that?”

“Together?” Vance gasped.

“Total blindside man,” Kalino agreed.


“I know not all Americans are idiots,” Yasmin stated. “Thomas Edison, Nikola Tessa, Henry Ford, Mark Twain, B.F. Skinner...but some of these contestants are making me question this. Is it in the air? Is it contagious?”


“The network also sees this as a good opportunity to promote their other interests,” Toby added.

“If you can say anything about network execs,” Tessa said, “it’s that they have no shame in their shameless promotions.”

“So today’s challenge will also be tying into an upcoming reality show,” Mana said. “Twin It To Win It!”

“So today’s challenge is about being a twin?” Malia asked.

“Ooh!” Weston cheered. “Does that mean I win?”

“No,” Jenny replied. “The show is about pairs of people traveling around the world, competing in a race.”

“How original,” Sam whispered.

“But it’s being hosted by Katie and Sadie,” Mana said. “The BFFFLs from Total Drama’s first season from forever ago, Total Drama Island!”

“The giggling ones?” Viola asked.

Mana nodded. “It also features a bunch of former reality show contestants, including from Total Drama’s past seasons.”

Only Ness seemed that impressed, awwing and clapping.

“So what is this lame challenge?” Cherry asked. “Being annoying like Katie and Sadie?”

“I think you’ve already got that covered,” Trixie said.

“You’ll being doing your very own mini Twin It To Win It race through Washington D.C. and beyond,” Mana explained. “A race that features challenges representing both Tides and Genesis!”

“So we’ll be killed by pirates and serial killers?” Viola asked.

“The winners not only get invincibility and to share the penthouse suite,” Toby said. “But also to watch the first episode of Twin It To Win It at a private, catered screening tonight.”

“You guys really go all out for your rewards,” Andre said. “I wonder if anyone from Frozen is on it…”

“Of course each cast will be having an elimination ceremony tonight too,” Jenny snickered. “You’ll each vote off a new loser, with one sailor and one newcomer saying goodbye.”

“Thanks for the downer reminder,” Sarah sighed.

“To make this crossover extra special,” Mana continued, “The pairs for this challenge will be one sailor and one newcomer!”

“Dibs on Ignacio!” Cherry, Sam, and Malia cried out. The three tackled the model.

“We’re randomly assigning the pairs to keep it fair,” Mana said.

Toby pushed out a cart, with a red and blue top hat on it. Mana went over and pulled out a name from each. “First we have...Alfie and Weston!”

Alfie and Weston stepped forward, inspecting each other.

“So wait...is this alternate universe me or my new twin?” Weston asked. “Does that mean Easton and I are now triplets?”

“While you figure that out,” Jenny said, “we’ll continue. The next pairing is...Viola and Melissa!”

Viola’s eyes widened. “I-”

Before she could finish, Melissa’s arms were thrown around her neck. “Ooh, won’t this be an exciting cultural exchange and chance to make new friends?”

“Probably...not…” Viola replied, gasping for breath.

“Then we have...Trixie and Vance!” Mana said. “The cowgirl and the cowboy together, nice right?”

Vance winked at Trixie, who rolled her eyes.

“Sarah and Riley,” Toby said. The singer and the bro stepped forward, Riley initiating a fist bump.

“Malia,” Mana said, reading the first card. “And…”

Malia crossed her fingers and whispered, “Please be the hot one, please be the hot one…”

“...Lita!”

Lita smiled and walked over to her shorter partner. “You ready?”

Mailia blushed and nodded.


"I didn’t mean that hot one…” Malia admitted.


Jenny snickered. “Ignacio...and Sam!”

Ignacio immediately felt someone grab his hand and pull him close. Viola raised an eyebrow at her old teammate, but said nothing. Cherry rolled her eyes.

“Two of the sexiest guys getting paired together?” Sam teased. “It can’t be a coincidence.”

“At this point it really can’t,” Ignacio replied, although he was looking at the ceiling as he said it.

“Damian and Tessa!” Mana stated.

The two nodded and smiled as they stepped closer together.

Yasmin looked around at the remaining newcomers and sighed at her remaining options. “Please don’t let it be-”

“Yasmin and Kalino!”

Yasmin shook her head and sighed again as Kalino strolled over. He smiled and threw an arm around the brainiac, almost knocking the book out of her hands.


“Yeah,” Kalino said, “I’m not a fan of Yasmin. Honestly she just reminds me too much of...my sister. Thinks she’s the smartest thing since the written language or indoor plumbing. Obsessed with control. She always has to be right; she’s never been wrong. So ambitious she’s self destructive. But I’m going to try to work with her. I just don’t think she’s gonna be my twin.”


Mana reached way down in the hats until he pulled out two notes. “Now we have Andre...and Ness!”

Ness tried to contain her squeal, letting out a strange gasp, blushing and walking over to the confused Andre.


“You mean my teammate gets to be Andre!?” Ness asked. “One of my favorite musicians? A Total Drama veteran? An adorable hunk? I really, really don’t want to jinx it but...I’ve never been this lucky!”

She finished her confessional by finally letting out the squee she’d been holding. It lasted for almost three minutes.


“Um, like what about me?”

Cherry, the only remaining sailor looked around for a newcomer, but couldn’t find a one.

“You’re with Jasper,” Toby stated.

“Who?”

“Um...hi again.”

Cherry nearly jumped again. “Oh yeah, I remember you. But wait...why am I stuck with the intern?”

Jasper sighed. “I’m actually a contestant. Haven’t we already done this?”

The other sailors, and a couple of newcomers, raised an eyebrow.


Like I honestly couldn’t remember if he was a contestant on Tides or not,” Cherry admitted. “To be like far though, I was sacrificed to Incas before I knew the other teams that well. Wait...he wasn’t like on the Screaming Sirens was he?”


“Now that we’ve paired you off,” Mana said. “Let’s get to it. The goal is to cross the finish line first after doing all the challenges. To find where to go you’ll need these!”

Mana held up a sparkly pink card that looked homemade.

“Made by Katie and Sadie themselves,” Toby said, hardly putting the effort to toss one to each team.

“They call them Cutie Clues,” Jenny explained. “It’ll give you a hint on where to go. You’ll need to do challenges to earn some...but first you’ll have to find them. Here’s a freebie, just to get things started!”

“On your mark, get set...go!”

The teens raced out of the hotel door...only to all get stuck in it together. Mana, Jenny and Toby snuck out the back.

“Let’s get to our spots,” Mana stated.

“You go on without me,” Jenny replied. “I just remembered I have to...get something ready for the elimination ceremony tonight.”

“Aww,” Mana said. “I was hoping we could all do it together.”

“Oh don’t worry your hairy little head,” Jenny replied. “I’ll join you shortly.”

Mana smiled and nodded. Toby turned to look at Jenny. “What are you really doing?”

“What makes you think I’m lying?” Jenny asked.

“Because you said you were going to do work,” Toby answered. “And I know you can’t, considering you’ve never done it before.”

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny shouted.

She grabbed Toby to her level. “Listen, you distract Rhonda’s old friend. I’m going to ‘accidentally’ let Zac and Rhonda out. Then I’m going to make sure they never, ever makeup…”

“...so Rhonda never leaves,” Toby stated. “That’s actually a smart plan...for you.”

“See, this is why you’re the sidekick,” Jenny stated. “Now go!”


“The first clue was a little confusing,” Weston stated. ”But my new detective intuition made it easy.”

He held up the sparkling clue and read. “To newcomers this is the genesis challenge of Genesis. To sailors it’s the ancient one’s home that you don’t want to miss!”

Weston smiled. “Our first challenge was a race to the Lincoln Memorial! Not to mention the show kind of always reuses that location. So we have to head there!”


“The Ancient One is a nickname for Abraham Lincoln,” Yasmin stated. “I spent time this morning using Pentagram’s library to study the area for the challenge. With the target I have, I need every win I can get.”


Most of the newcomers easily solved the clue for their team, with pairs hailing taxis to get themselves there.

In a surprise lead, Weston and Aflie reached there first...and found a giant blue tank taking up most of the space nearby.

“Is that normally what monuments look like in your world?” Alfie asked.

Weston shrugged. “Not that I remember. My gut is telling me it’s a challenge.”

“Wow!” Alfie exclaimed. “You’re really good at this detective stuff.”

Weston blushed. “Aww, thanks! I try, but I’m not a real detective yet. I’m missing something.”

Alfie clapped his hands. “A hat!”

“A hat?” Weston asked.

“Important people have hats,” Alfie said. “If you had a hat, you’d had authority like a detective.”

“You’re right!” Weston replied. “Policemen, firefighters, astronauts all wear hats! Wizards even have those pointy caps. I need a hat!”

Alfie sniffed the air. “Do you smell...maple syrup?”

The two ran up the stairs, revealing the tub to actually be a giant swimming pool of maple syrup.

“Wow,” Weston said. “Your nose knows...just like almost all the great detectives I know!”

“Really?” Alfie asked. “We really are alternate versions of ourselves!”

“Sweet!” they cheered, high-fiving.

“Move it,” Yasmin demanded, shoving them aside with a martial arts like chop. Kalino casually strolled after her.


“Weston does realize that most detectives he knows have great noses... because most detectives he knows are dogs, right?” Kalino asked. “Eh, I won’t spoil his and his mini-Wes’ fun.”


Yasmin grabbed a Cutie Clue suspended from one of ten diving boards and read aloud, “Fun For One?”

Mana and Toby paddled on a giant flapjack in the syrup pool. “A Fun For One is a kind of challenge where only one teammate participates in it. Usually pairs will alternate between doing them.”

“Obviously meaning they’ll be another my so called partner must do,” Yasmin decided.

“Is she always this likable?” Kalino asked.

“A ‘Sticky Swim’,” Yasmin stated. “We have to swim out and retrieve a syrup bottle, then bring it back. Only a few will have a cutie clue in it. Now then who should-”

Kalino pushed Yasmin forward, sending her into the pool. “Ahhhhh! What was that for?”

“You should do the challenge,” Kalino stated. “If this one is Canadian themed, then I’ll be more useful in the American themed one, right?”

“There is logic in what you say,” Yasmin stated, eyeing Kalino suspiciously, before swimming off.

“I’ll cheer you on from here!” Kalino shouted, before lying down and taking a nap.


Ignacio ran up and began to read the clue. Sam popped his head between Ignacio’s arms, causing Ignacio to fall back in surprise.

“A swimming race,” Sam stated. “Crap, Alfie’s got this one.”

“How so?” Ignacio asked.

Sam pointed to where Alfie dived into the pool and zoomed through the water. “Little guy’s a swimming expert or something.”

“Would you care to do the honors?” Ignacio asked.

“Yeah I’d love to except...I’m terrified of water,” Sam replied. “So you do totally dive in.”

“It isn’t water, it’s syrup,” Ignacio replied. “And doesn’t your season take place on the ocean?”

“What I mean is that I’m terrified of swimming after just eating,” Sam said. “So you should do it. And probably strip so your clothes don’t weigh you down.”

Ignacio rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, but stopped as he heard Ness giggling. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her chatting with Andre and glared. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

“Strip?” Sam asked.

“The challenge,” Ignacio replied. He stood on top of the platform and tossed off his shirt, letting the sunlight hit his abs. Sam gasped falling to his knees, staring at the hunk. Ignacio turned and smiled towards Ness...but she was already swimming away in the pool. Ignacio sighed and jumped in.


Ignacio maybe one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen,” Sam stated. “In person or not. I mean even for an American. Like, Colin who?”


Alfie raced back to the start with his third bottle and opened it, a Cutie Clue falling out.

“Sweet!” Aflie cheered, picking it up. “Let’s see. ‘To reach the beach you may have to travel far, so go to this point and we’ll give you a car.’ Ooh, there’s an address too!”

Weston picked up his syrup coated partner and dashed off. “You did it little buddy! Let’s book it!”

“Wait,” Mana called. “We have complimentary towels so you can...and there gone.”

“Less work for us,” Toby replied.

“I guess,” Mana replied. “Speaking of, where’s Jenny?”

“Uhh...probably just using the bathroom…”


Jenny tiptoed down the hallway, until she heard screaming.

“You spent a good amount of the budget on your favorite hair gel!”

“I’m supposed to look good on camera! It’s my job as a host. You still haven’t learned that!”

“I didn’t learn anything from you!”

Jenny moved away the chair blocking the handle and threw open the door.

“Jenny?” Rhonda asked.

Zac pushed her away and jumped outside. “Finally! Where’s Mana? He is going to be on deck cleaning duty for the next month…”

“He is...uh…”

“And where are the contestants?” Rhonda asked. “We have a challenge to do!”

“Never heard of them,” Jenny replied.

“Jenny!”

“Okay, so Toby and Mana are hosting the challenge,” Jenny replied. “Less work for you, am I right?”

“That’s true,” Zac stated. “More time for me to go to the spa.”

“Well I’m going to do the real job of a host,” Rhonda said. “And go to the challenge!”

“Then I’ll go to,” Zac replied. “It’ll give me a chance to remind you how it’s done.”

“Uh, wait!” Jenny said. “Uh...don’t you want to know why I let you out?”

“I don’t really care,” Zac replied.

“But it’s super, duper, mega, ultra important!” Jenny whined.

“What is it?” Rhonda asked.

“Uh...I’m...um...hungry?” Jenny replied.

Rhonda facepalmed. “Go order a pizza then! We might still have enough time to reach Sandy Point.”

“But, but...I want fresh cooked food!” Jenny spat out. “So instead of going where Mana is, not that I don’t want you to see him, you should...make me dinner! I’m super hungry!”

“That does make sense,” Zac said. “I mean, America doesn’t even have a good doughnut place.”

“Don’t you start with your Tim Hortons!” Rhonda yelled.

“Tim Hortons is vastly superior and you know it!” Zac shouted.

“You guys should settle it,” Jenny said. “Once and for all, America vs Canada! You should do a cook-off of traditional foods and I’ll decide whose better!”

“Easy,” Zac stated. “Hayden’s always loved my cooking!”

“He never mentioned it,” Rhonda replied. “You know, the little he was actually here. He did love the meal I made though.”

Zac hissed. “That’s it! Let’s do this, but on a bigger stage! For a whole audience to see whose better!”

“Just an audience?” Rhonda asked. “I say we broadcast it live!”

“A broadcast was implied!”

“No it wasn’t!”

“Phew,” Jenny sighed. “Thank gosh I came up with that plan. At least I got a free meal of it…”


First to leave, Alfie and Weston rushed into their taxi. They started driving away as Vance and Trixie arrived. Alfie sighed.

“We’re in the lead!” Weston cheered. “...What’s wrong buddy?”

“Weston,” Alfie said, “do you think you can help me? Since you're such a smart detective?”

Weston blushed. “Smart...well I don’t know about that. But I can try.”

“Well there’s this girl,” Alfie said. “Trixie. I really, really liked her.”

“The white haired girl?” Weston asked. “I understand; I’m in love with a white haired girl too! So I get it. Sometimes love is scary.”

Alfie nodded.

“And you’re not totally sure you can’t trust her,” Weston added.

“Exactly!” Alfie admitted.

“And inside you’re a little worried that one day she’ll bury your maimed, mangled body in a backyard to never be found,” Weston continued. “But that’s love.”

“I wasn’t worried about that,” Alfie said. “Until now. Part of me wants to try to be with Trixie again, I think she wants it...but part of me is afraid I’m going to just get hurt again.”

Weston scratched his head. “I get it, but like I said...I think that’s love. You could always get hurt. But if you really think it could work and she wants it to work, you should give it a second chance.”

Alfie shrugged and Weston patted him on the back.

“I hate to interrupt this moment,” the taxi driver said. “But did you exactly want me to drive somewhere?”

Alfie blushed. “There went our lead…”


I love my partner!” Malia admitted. “She might be stronger than Emmett. She nailed the swimming challenge for us. I wanted to do the American one for myself. I wonder if she can do my hair after the challenge?”


Now in the lead, Malia and Lita arrived at a car lot where ten cars sat in parking spots. Racing out of their taxi, Malia immediately went to the purple car. “It’s perfect! I love purple and it matches your scarf!”

Lita nodded tossing aside the door and heading in the front seat. “The keys are inside. Let’s book it honey!”

“Yes, let’s ‘honey’,” Malia giggled. “So where are we going?”

Malia and Lita stared at each other for a moment. “...Uhh…”

“You don’t know?” Malia asked.

“There aren’t exactly a lot of beaches in the city,” Lita replied. “There was an indoor one in that hotel…”

“So we go there?” Malia asked.

Lita shook her head. “They wouldn’t give us car for down the street. It must be a beach somewhere.”

“Maybe we should go look for someone with a smartphone?” Malia suggested.

“Gurl, good idea,” Lita replied.

“Wasn’t it Cherrilicious?” Malia asked.

“Uh...more Malialicious, right?” Lita replied.

Malia gasped and squeed as she fell against the seat. Lita raised an eyebrow and started driving.


“Malia’s a cutie,” Lita stated. “She’s friendly and excited, but also a little innocent and naive. You just want to protect her, like a baby bird or a bread bowl of good soup. I’m little worried she’s too desperate for others to like her though…”


“Sandy Point State Park,” Yasmin read from a smartphone in the back of their taxi. “Just as I theorized, it’s the nearest beach to Washington D.C. Enough time to stall for this last minute challenge, but close enough it won’t take too long.”

“Is there a reason you have to figure everything out?” Kalino asked.

“Knowledge is power,” Yasmin replied, writing down directions from the phone. “Especially in a game like this. If I can predict this game, I can predict any outcome. I’ll drive.”

The two raced out as the entered the parking lot. They ran to the closest car, a black car. Yasmin started the car, but gasped. “Stick? They want us to drive stick?”

“You didn’t predict that?” Kalino teased.

“I can learn how to drive stick,” Yasmin replied.

But by that point, Kalino was already climbing into the front. “Scoot over rover, I know stick.”

“I’m surprised you know how to drive,” Yasmin stated.

“And I’m surprised you can stand with how big your head is,” Kalino replied, forcing Yasmin in the passenger seat.

“It’s called a brain,” Yasmin said.

“Or just a lot of hot air.”


Eventually, all the teams finally got on the road and were in Maryland, approaching Sandy Point State Park.

“We’re here!”

Lita slammed on the breaks, right in front of a sunbather. In the distance, Mana and Toby were sitting on a towel, talking and sharing drinks from a cooler.

“Really?” Mana asked. “Canada actually loves your season. I’m sorry to hear the network’s been down your throats.”

Toby shrugged. “Doesn’t sound half as bad as what y’all have been dealing with. By the way, did you ever figure out what was up with that mystery of Floria?”

“Actually I-”

“We’re here!”

Lita slid in front of the co-hosts, kicking sand onto them. Malia trailed just behind her.

“Where’s the Cutie Clue for us cuties?” Lita teased.

“Check the cooler,” Mana coughed.

Malia reached in and pulled out a Cutie Clue. “A Quick Pick? Is that like a selfie?”

“A Quick Pick is another kind of challenge,” Mana replied. “In this one, you can pick from two different kind of challenges for you clue. In this case, you get to pick your season.”

“You mean I could switch to Genesis?” Malia asked. “It’s been fun but I don’t know if I could-”

“We don’t need any more of you,” Toby stated. “Then neither of these fanfictions will ever get finished.”

Malia looked at Lita, who just shook her head.

“Winter or summer,” Toby stated.

“Or to be more specific,” Mana continued, “Sand or Snow?”

Malia and Lita looked at the clue.

“Snow,” Lita read. “We have to head to a nearby blue building where you’ve made it snow inside?”

“Or Sand,” Malia added. “Which is at the other end of the beach.”

“That’s the only hints you get,” Toby stated. “If you suck at one, you can do the other…”

“...but there’s only enough equipment for five teams to do a challenge at a time,” Mana added. “Each have their own advantages though.”

“Which one should we do?” Malia asked.

Lita shrugged. “I don’t care. Which one do you want to do?”

“Me?” Malia asked. “I usually don’t pick...but I do want to be more independent. Let’s pick...Sand!”

Malia raced off, with Lita following after her this time.

“I guess we should head to our next places,” Toby sighed.

“I’ll take Jenny’s place at Snow,” Mana said. “Is she still busy?”

“She probably stopped for a bite to eat,” Toby replied.

“Do you think she’d get us something to?” Mana asked.

“Ha ha...oh, you were being serious?”


“Are you ready?”

Jenny stood against a crowd in the middle of a makeshift stadium made of bleachers. She spoke into a microphone as a crowd of onlookers cheered. On the stage behind Jenny were the two competing hosts, each wearing a chef’s hat that had a print of their respective country’s flag. They each stood behind a kitchen.

“Let’s get to it,” Jenny stated. “Here it is, our International Platinum Cook-Off! Our competitors will each make a dish for yours truly to represent themselves and their country. They’ll have to cook me breakfast, dinner, and desert! Whichever is the tastiest to my taste buds wins! Zac, what will you be cooking for us?”

“I’ll start with my Zactastic flapjacks,” Zac replied. “Topped with authentic maple syrup. Then from beautiful Quebec, Je vais cuisiner la poutine! French fries topped with cheese curds and gravy. And for desert, a British Columbia nanaimo bars; chocolate wafer bars filled with my homemade strawberry icing.”

“Fancy and foreign,” Jenny stated. “Rhonda, what’s your counter?”

“For breakfast it’s eggs benedict,” Rhonda replied. “That’s an english muffin topped with bacon, ham, a poached egg, and hollandaise sauce for you viewers up north. Except instead of an English muffin, I’ll be using doughnuts. Since doughnuts are American, originating from Dutch immigrants in New York.”

Rhonda cast a look at Zac who sneered. She then proceeded to drop an entire grill on top of the counter. “Then I’ll follow that up with an American cheeseburger, freshly grilled and all the fixins. And for desert something as American as good taste; apple pie. You’ll slap your grandma over the last bite.”

“To be fair I’d probably slap a grandma for any food,” Jenny replied. “But that sounds delicious.”

“It sounds like a heart attack,” Zac scoffed.

“If I have one then Rhonda will totally lose,” Jenny replied. “But if not, then it’ll be up to taste. So, let’s..get...cooking!”

The crowd erupted into cheers again as the hosts started preparing their dishes while glaring at each other.


Damien and Tessa ran up a hill a snow covered hill.

“Remind me again how your co-host was able to make it snow inside?” Damien asked.

“Something about reengineering air conditioners or something,” Tessa replied. “I’m not sure, I wasn’t here for the snow fort challenge.”

“He certainly made it cold,” Damien joked. “I didn’t sign up for Tides to get frozen.”

“Hey, I was right,” Tessa stated. “Look!”

At the top of the hill sat a cardboard promotional cutout of Twin It To Win It, with Katie and Sadie in eskimo outfits. In the cutout were clues. On the left were five sleds fashioned into different colored stations. On the right was a stable where barking could be heard.

“No one else picked it yet,” Tessa stated.

Damien grabbed the clue from the cutouts. “Awesome, it’s a straightforward race down the hill to the finish line...via dog sledding!”

“So it’s farther than Sand but likely a simpler challenge,” Tessa guessed.

“You get the dogs,” Damien stated, “I’ll grab the sled…”


Honkkkkk….

“Woo!” Riley cheered. “Okay, so that hotel wasn’t the beach. But I think we’re making great time to Sandy Point.”

Sarah nodded, wearing two seat belts and grabbing the safety handle of her car so tight it snapped. “Good...uh Riley?”

Crashhhhh.

“Yeah?” Riley asked.

“Have you actually driven before?” Sarah asked.

“We did a go-kart challenge like almost a week ago,” Riley stated.

“I just meant like an actual car,” Sarah replied.

“Nope, never had one,” Riley said. “Why do you ask?”

Sarah turned around, seeing multiple wrecks as Riley swerved again.

“No reason…do you think we could listen to some music?”

“Smart thinking,” Riley replied. She turned on the radio and started blasting rap music. “Oh sweet, there’s a little mirror here to look back!”

Riley adjusted her rearview mirror and noticed Sarah sighing. Turning down the music, she asked “Are you alright Rah-Rah?”

Sarah shook her head. “I’m really nervous.”

“Dude, we can totally turn this around,” Riley stated. “We’re in the middle of the pack but-”

Sarah shook her head. “Not the challenge. Riley, can I tell you something?”

“Of course dude,” Riley replied. “What’s on your mind?”

“It’s about Eylar,” Sarah replied.

“Ohh, the boy toy they voted off?” Riley asked.

Sarah shook her head. “I don’t like him. But...basically he’s been forced by some bad people to work for him. And now to help set him free, I have to do something for them.”

“Oh crap,” Riley stated.

“I’m not sure if I can do it,” Sarah stated. “And I don’t really want to do it!”

“Then don’t,” Riley replied.

“But if I don’t then Eylar will never be free!” Sarah sighed. “I either do this or he won’t be free.”

“Who says those are the only options?” Riley asked.

“Huh?”

Riley shrugged. “I mean if these are bad mochachos do you think they’ll really let him go after this? They won’t keep their word...and might ask more of you.”

“I guess you’re right,” Sarah sighed.

“Would Eylar want you to do this?” Riley continued. “If the answer is no, then you probably shouldn’t.”

“So what do I do?” Sarah asked.

“I’d talk to Eylar first,” Riley replied. “Then I’d pick answer C; you and Eylar work together to stop them.”

Sarah nodded.

Suddenly, Riley swerved her car as they barely missed a seagull. “I think we’re here!”


“Riley sounds right,” Sarah admitted. “But...what can I do to stop an agency like that? Maybe if it was Yasmin or Wing or Zania...but it’s just me. I know what I have to do. I’m sorry Andre, I know you wanted to win so you and Dania could be together but that’s not possible anymore…”


At the beach, Ignacio and Sam reached the next stage. Toby sat by, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, swim trunks, flip flops, and sunglasses. The colorful attire didn’t match his pale skin or frown. Lita and Maila, Yasmin and Kalino, and Alfie and Weston were sculpting in the sand. Toby handed the new arrivals their next clues.

“We have to build a sandcastle?” Sam asked.

“A sand white house,” Toby corrected. “Your clue comes with a photo for reference, but it’s got to be at least semi-accurate looking and solve the equations for the proper dimensions.”

“Wait...you mean math?” Sam asked. “As in math during summer? That’s medieval!”

Sam turned to see Ignacio had already written down the dimensions in the sand.

“You can grab a bag with pails and shovels from over there,” Toby stated. He pointed to under an umbrella, where color coordinated bags sat. Sam nodded, grabbing the yellow bag and returning to a rectangle that Ignacio had outlined.

“So you're sexy, smart and strong,” Sam purred. “Anything you don’t do handsome?”

“I don’t play for the same team,” Ignacio replied. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Sam pouted. “Fine. But I’ll have you know my last boyfriend said the same thing...till he swapped to my team.”

“Do you actually want to date me?” Ignacio asked.

“Date, makeout for a few hours, whatever,” Sam replied. “Why, you interested yet?”

“You said last night you broke up,” Ignacio stated. “I figured you wouldn’t want to start a new relationship so soon.”

Sam sighed and sat on the ground. “Not really...not after he cheated me.”

“Oh,” Ignacio said. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Sam shrugged. “I should be use to guys breaking my heart with how often I fall for them.”

“So why are you looking for someone else so soon?” Ignacio asked.

“I just can’t deal with these feelings right now,” Sam admitted. “How sad I feel about Grayson and how guilty I feel about...how it went down. I just throw myself at the next guy to move on. It’s not great, but it’s what I’m good at.”

Ignacio sighed. “It sounds like maybe another guy isn’t what you need. You need a friend.”

“You’re probably right,” Sam sighed.

“After this challenge, how about we get ice cream together?” Ignacio asked. “Platonically, of course.”

“I’ll still call it a date,” Sam teased. “But sure. And maybe I can help you talk to that blonde girl you keep staring at.”

Ignacio blushed. “What? I don’t-”

“I’m not oblivious,” Sam replied. “Apparently she is though. But you don’t have to worry about Andre. He’s head over heels for his girlfriend back home.”

Ignacio sighed. “Thanks goodness...um not that I’m jealous or any similar theory.”

Sam rolled his eyes and laughed. “Sure sweetie…”


Tessa ran back to the sleds leading a trail of sled dogs on reins. “You will not believe how these...what are you doing?”

Damien held a sleigh in his hand, using a coin to slowly loosen the nails of a sled’s rudder. He placed in back in it’s light blue station. “Oh…I’m just making adjustments to this sled.”

“Why?” Tessa asked.

“This color is exactly the color of Dania’s dress,” Damien answered. “Andre’s girlfriend. They were right behind us. With this we can-”

“-Sabotage them?” Tessa asked.

“It’s not sabotage,” Damien replied. “It’s all fair in the rules.”

“I said something like that once,” Tessa admitted. “But this doesn’t feel right.”

Damien shook his head. “It’s not personal. Truth is Andre was one of my best friends. He was captain of our old team, the Screaming Sirens.”

“That makes it sound way worse,” Tessa admitted.

“He’s a threat and I’m just worried he’s getting too close to Sarah,” Damien said. “Who may I remind you, wants to vote off my alliance.”

“Your alliance?” Tessa asked.

“With Cherry and Yasmin,” Damien replied.

“Wait...you mean the mean popular girl and the hyper aggressive gamebot?” Tessa asked. “You have a final three alliance with them?”

“Yasmin is a good person,” Damien replied.

“She judo chopped Weston and that little blonde boy’s face,” Tessa reminded. “I mean you being in a final three alliance that’s sabotaging others? That kind of sounds like…”

“It’s not like Heather’s alliance,” Damien stated. “Yasmin is my friend. I care about her...a lot.  If I can’t win, then I want her to! She deserves it.”

“That’s sweet,” Tessa said. “And Cherry’s your friend too?”

Damien bit his lip. “No...she’s actually the worst. But I wouldn’t let someone as undeserving as her actually make the final three.”

“So that’s a lie?” Tessa asked. “Meaning you plan on betraying your alliance member, just like-”

“-It’s not personal,” Damien replied. “It’s part of the game. Heather shouldn’t be vilified for playing the game. Our alliance is nothing like hers. Now, let’s go already.”

Damien rushed ahead. Tessa glared at him as Andre and Ness ran up.

“Phew,” Ness sighed. “I was worried I cost us that lead in the syrup race.”

“You did amazing,” Andre replied. “Especially for a non-Canadian.”

Ness giggled. “Thanks! So now what’s our snowy challenge?”

“I hope you like fleas and slobber,” Tessa teased.

“You mean...puppies?” Ness asked. “Aww, I knew we picked the right one! I bet they're so cute!”

“Tessa! Let's go!”

Tessa sighed, looking at Ness and Andre start untangling their harness. She grabbed the sled closest to them and tossed her sled to Andre. “See you down there…”


“We’re looking amazing,” Malia cheered as she sculpted another side. “Who knew all that sandcastle building I did with Angel would pay off?”

Malia reached for her bucket, but it wasn’t there. She looked over to see it behind Kalino. She ran towards him, but he looked up and came to her. “This yours?”

Malia nodded. “It must have rolled away.”

“No biggie,” Kalino replied. “Go kill it little mama.”

He winked, causing the girl to blush as she skipped away with her pail. Back at her side, she dug up more sand and packed into their white house...only for a crab to bust out of their sculpture and destroy a fourth of it as it went.

“Oh no!” Malia cried. “I must have dug up the crab, I had no idea…”

“Crap,” Lita replied. “Relax Malia, it ain’t your fault. But I have feeling it might be someone else’s.”

From afar, Kalino shook his head. “That sucks for them.”

“I saw that,” Yasmin stated.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kalino replied.

“The crab,” Yasmin continued. “You stole her bucket when you thought no one was looking, then put that crab inside it. You sabotaged their whole structure.”

“Like I said, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kalino replied. “Now let’s hurry; we almost have the lead.”

“So you’re not as dumb as you act,” Yasmin said. “Or look.”

“It’s called being subtle,” Kalino replied. “It’s not a multisyllabic word like you’d prefer, but you’d be surprised what it can do. It might even prevent you from constantly making enemies.”

“I’m start realize you might be the smartest newcomer,” Yasmin said. “Not saying much from what I’ve seen today, but still. I underestimated you.”

“I don’t want to lose today either,” Kalino stated. “I’ve got my own plans cooking, and I want to be safe if some kind of twist happens.”

“You’re predicting a twist?” Yasmin asked.

Kalino nodded. “I don’t know about y’all, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Rhonda tried to capitalize on the crossover with this. With our schedule changed due to an unexpected returnee, I could see a double elimination. I’m not risking that.”

“That’s entirely possible,” Yasmin stated. “Zac could even do something so ridiculous as triple elimination or another twist, just to show up Rhonda.”

Kalino jumped up. “Done!”

Yasmin smirked. “I can’t believe I’m saying this...but I think this is the beginning of a wonderful partnership Kalino.”


Trixie and Vance panted as they ran up the snowy hill.

“How are we not last?” Trixie asked.

“Don’t question it,’ Vance sighed. “Just be glad we got through the traffic.”

“Where did that horse even come from?” Trixie asked. “And why is it destroying downtown?”

“Uh...no one really knows, “Vance replied.

Trixie and Vance gasped as the watched Ness run by screaming, as a team of sled dogs chased after her and Andre chased after them.

“A sled race,” Trixie stated. “That should be easy let’s-”

Trixie was interrupted as Vance threw her on the sled and pushed off.

“We need slay dogs,” Trixie cried out as they dashed off.

“Psh,” Vance said. “Not with me you don’t my lady. Observe.”

Vance fashioned the reins into a makeshift lasso and twirled it, landing on a branch of a nearby tree. He grabbed the sled as he used the lasso to swing forward, sending them forward. He yanked back at the lasso, returning it to their hands.

“That was pretty ingenious,” Trixie admitted.

“I’m known for being an ingenius and an outgenius honey,” Vance replied.

Trixie rolled her eyes, grabbing the lasso and using it to reach a rock and pull them forward again.


“She can lasso too?” Vance asked. “God, she may have just lassoed my heart as well. Rawrrrr…”


Damien turned back to see Trixie and Vance slowly gaining.

“I don’t think so,” Damien stated. He grabbed snow as they sailed down, making it into a snowball. He flung it forward nailing Trixie in the face.

“You dirty, low down coward!” Vance cried out. He tried to make a snowball but was pelted by another from Damien before he could even finish.

Trixie growled, grabbing another and sailing it right at Damien’s face. “It’s going to take more than a few snowballs to slow us down!”

“Like losing your reins?”

Trixie and Vance looked to see their reins were gone. Trixie facepalmed as their sled slowed down, having no lasso or huskies to continue their momentum. Damien snickered.

“Let me guess,” Tessa said. “She was a threat to your alliance?”

“She could be,” Damien admitted. “Especially if she convinces Malia to leave Cherry…”

“You know how earlier you said your alliance wasn’t like Heather’s?” Tessa asked.

“It isn’t,” Damien replied.

“You’re right,” Tessa said. “It’s worse; it’s an alliance of three Heather wannabes.”

“Heather wasn’t a bad guy,” Damien stated. “I thought you would understand that.”

“Maybe she isn’t,” Tessa replied. “I do understand making choices I wish I could take back...but I can’t. I can only make the right choices now. Are you doing that?”

“Huh?” Damien asked.

“How are you hoping to redeem Heather’s name?” Tessa asked. “By winning Tides? By sabotaging your old best friend? By using your alliance of jerkwads to dominate the game? I mean gosh, the only way you three could be more evil is if you called yourselves something like the Axis of Evil or…”

“We don’t call ourselves that,” Damien replied. “We’re the...Unholy Trinity!”

“That’s so evil!” Tessa replied. “You are such a Heather!”

“Heather was not a bad guy!” Damien yelled. “I know my sister better than anyone. She stood up to bullies for me. She always played with me. She always accepted me. Sure, she changed when she lost all that weight and moved schools…and we fought for along time."

Damien sighed. “I admit it, I used to prank her. We were at each other's’ throats. And then after the show I saw all the hate she got. She won’t admit it, but I know it gets her down. But I know that she’s still that sister who was good to me.”

“Who are you trying to convince?” Tessa asked. “The audience or yourself?”

Damien glared at Tessa. “My sister was nothing like this show made her seem. She wasn’t a bad person. Not you like were, like you admitted.”

“Yeah,” Tessa sighed. “But don’t you see, you’re acting more like Heather was portrayed. That’s all your own choice! That’s why I can’t let you win this challenge.”

“And how do you intend to stop me?” Damien asked.

“Wheeeeeeee!”

Damien snapped his head back to see Andre and Ness racing past with their sled dogs. Andre flashed his former friend a peace sign as they passed.

“Wait, if their sled is working then-”

Tessa smirked. Her and Damien’s sled immediately snaps. They fell and started tumbling to the ground as their dogs ran off without them.

“Really?” Damien asked. “Did you have to actually grab the sabotaged sled?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Tessa snapped back, as she tumbled through a prickly bush. “I’m still calling this a win for me!”

“What a win,” Damien sighed as he and her body sledded through a snow mound.

The two ended up crashing into each other, tangling and becoming a giant snowball...that fell off a cliff. “Ahhhhhhh!”


“Isn’t this fun!”

Viola sighed as she and Melissa worked on the sand white house challenge. “I knew we should have picked Snow.”

“We can still do that one if you want to try it,” Melissa replied. “But I think our sand house is super cute. Maybe some nice crabs or other little critters will move in!”

“Yeah, and get swept back into the shore when it’s eventually destroyed,” Viola replied.

“I suppose so,” Melissa admitted. “But I guess that’s the nice thing about sandcastles. They don’t last forever, which is why you have to appreciate them while they’re here.”

“Does anything get you down?” Viola asked.

“Of course things do,” Melissa replied. “But not everything. Only really harsh things. But you can’t stay down forever.”

“How are you so...like this?” Viola asked.

“Like what?” Melissa asked. “Sandy?”

“Optimistic,” Viola replied. “It’s almost admirable...if it wasn’t gross. I mean life can be so terrible and cruel.”

“It can,” Melissa replied. “But that’s why I’m so happy. Because everything good that happens, even if it will change, is proof that there are good things. Proof that it can get better.”

“I don’t know if I could ever see things that way,” Viola replied.

Suddenly, Cherry and Jasper ran up.

“Stupid horse and it’s like stupid traffic jam,” Cherry whined.

Jasper ran over and grabbed the last bag of sand tools, only to return to Cherry sunbathing.

“What are you doing?” Jasper asked.

“I didn’t work on my Cherrylicious tan yesterday,” Cherry replied. “Listen Jello or whatever your name is, we’ve already lost. There are already about four teams ahead of us, not including like whose snowing. So I’m going to make the most of my beach day.”

She pulled out a pair of sunglasses and sighed as she laid back down. Jasper shook his head.

Cherry yawned, but accidentally swallowed sand that was being tossed. She coughed it up and turned to see Jasper beginning work.

“Like really?” Cherry asked. “After all I just said?”

“I was voted off once,” Jasper replied. “Maybe we’ve lost already, but I got to try. I didn’t think I’d even have the chance to do this, so I’m going to take it. I want to do it.”

He turned his back and started working again. Cherry sighed, but stood up and start digging as well.

“I guess you have like a point,” Cherry replied. “And it would super lame for me to bail on my partner.”

Jasper smiled and nodded as the two got to work.


“We have ten minutes left till the tasting,” Jenny teased as the crowd cheered again. Zac and Rhonda shared another glare. “Who's it going to be; Canada vs America?”

“Almost finished,” Rhonda said. “Now I just have to put the egg on the dough...ahhh!”

Rhonda tossed aside a box of doughnuts to the ground. She turned to Zac in fury. “Did you replace my doughnuts with Tim Hortons?”

“You’re welcome,” Zac replied.

He started laughing...until an egg landed on his head. Rhonda started laughing now.

“You did not just mess up my hair,” Zac stated.

“I call it an improvement,” Rhonda replied.

“That’s it!” Zac yelled.

“Bring it!” Rhonda shouted.

The two charged and tackled each other, fighting each other on the ground. The audience cheered them on as Jenny watched.

“You think you’re some pro host,” Rhonda stated. “But this is still your first show! Before this you were just an executive.”

“I still had experience hosting other venues.” Zac replied. “More experience than someone like you. I still tried to take you under my wing!”

“Under you wing?” Rhonda asked. “You call that under my wing? You were lazy and mean.”

“But I didn’t fake my death,” Zac said. “I was so upset when I thought you died...and it was my fault. Even though I know you didn’t like me, I thought we were friends.”

Rhonda stopped and stood up. “Really?”

Zac nodded, wiping his face. “Duh. Why didn’t you like me?”

“Because...because...because you always reminded me of everything I’m not,” Rhonda admitted. “Always saying you wanted to give me a makeover or what I needed to improve, I just felt like I still wasn’t good enough. Even after everything I did to get here, I still wasn’t there. I guess I went a little crazy because of it.”

“I just meant that stuff as advice to help you,” Zac said. “I just wanted to help you, because I wanted us to be friends.”

“I wanted to be friends too,” Rhonda admitted. “I was so excited to be working on Tides at first, cause I loved Frozen. I’m sorry. I’m not proud of a lot of things I did to get here. But I admit the thing I regret most...was not being your friend.”

“You mean that?” Zac asked.

“Yeah!” Rhonda replied. “I mean we’re two big fans who are living the dream of hosting our fave show! We should be teaming up and doing fun crossovers like this was supposed to be.”

“I’m sorry too,” Zac replied. “And your totes right! And listen, you turned into a good host. Your show is all the rage in Canada. It’s...Rhondatastic!”

“Really?” Rhonda asked. “You mean that?”

“I said it, didn’t I?” Zac asked. “And these people are idiots for not liking it.”

“We can hear you,” one of the audience members yelled.

“This is a private conversation,” Zac replied.

“So...do we want to try to be friends now?” Rhonda asked.

Zac pulled her into a hug.

“Boo! Boo!”

“I came here to watch senseless violence and nationalistic rhetoric!”

The crowd started booing and tossing things at the hosts, who dunked behind counters.


Yasmin and Kalino raced to their next stop, where Mana stood waving and waiting at a large table.

“Welcome to the first to arrive,” Mana said.

“Obviously,” Yasmin stated. “Am I right to presume this is the next Fun for One?”

Mana nodded. “Yup! It’s our American themed portion...the Cheeseburger Chowdown!”

Mana pulled out a tray and lifted the lid to reveal a plate stacked with burgers. There were all kinds, from one patty to three, all different toppings and cheeses and even different buns.

“The first person to eat all of their burgers wins the final Cutie Clue,” Mana said. “Which will lead to our finish line!”

Kalino sat down at the table and tied a bib around himself. “Easy peasy.”

“I’d say we’ve already won,” Yasmin stated.

“Not yet!”

Ness and Andre ran up to the table, with Riley and Sarah following close behind. “It isn’t over till it’s over.”

“Good luck,” Kalino replied in the middle of eating a burger.

“You got this Andre!” Ness cheered as the musician took his seat.

‘Don’t worry Sarah,” Riley said. “I’ve got a little something that’ll help me; my special hot sauce...as soon as I can find it.”

Riley turned to Sarah running over and setting it down next to her. “Huh?”

“You...dropped it back in the snow,” Sarah replied. “I didn’t want you to lose it.”

“It does make everything taste better,” Riley joked.

Mana placed an open tray in front of Andre, then lifted the next tray for Riley.

All three began chowing down. Kalino had an obvious lead, but Riley was gaining as she poured hot sauce on each burger. Andre tried to catch up, but was coughing violently.

“Andre! Andre! Andre!” Ness cheered.

“Are...are they all suppose to be this spicy?” Andre asked. Mana shook his head.

“Compliments to the chef,” Kalino joked as he finished a large one.

“Less talking, more winning,” Yasmin stated.

Riley frowned as she shook an empty sauce bottle. “Already but that...Sarah?”

Sarah shot her partner a pitiful look, almost begging her without saying a word.

“I know you can do it Andre!” Ness cheered.

Yasmin scoffed. “Andre? Really? Are you just shouting rhetoric or-”

“Done,” Andre said in-between violent coughs. He held up his empty plate.

“Me too!” Kalino shouted, tossing his plate at Toby’s face.

“Same,” Riley said before belching.

“You’re all good!” Mana cheered. “And here are your final Cutie-”

The teens tackled the intern as they grabbed their cards and ran off.

Yasmin tore open the clue. “The finish line is close but can’t be found. Something can help you see that it’s around…

“We need to find a giant pair of glasses!” Sarah blurted out.

Kalino grabbed Yasmin’s hand and started running.

“Where are they going?” Ness asked.

“No idea,” Andre replied. “But when in America, do what the Americans do.”

The other two teams started racing after them. They followed them to the shore, where rowboats sat. Off in the distance there was…

“A lighthouse,” Yasmin exclaimed. “I see; a lighthouse uses its light to help ships see the closeby shore. That’s what the clue was trying to hint at.”

“Duh,” Kalino replied. “Also, it’s like the only landmark in this place.”

The dastardly duo hopped into a rowboat and pushed off the shore, their competitors approaching the sure as they did.


Mana and Toby parked a speedboat behind the Sandy Point Shoal Light, where a heart shaped mat and a camera were waiting.

“We did it,” Mana stated. “We actually hosted a challenge all on our own!”

“No thanks to Jenny,” Toby added.

“Where is she?” Mana asked.

“Right here.”

Jenny stepped out from the other side of the lighthouse.

“What are you doing here?” Mana asked.

“I’m here to stop you and your nasty, mean plan!” Jenny shouted.

“My...what?” Mana asked.

“Don’t play coy fish head,” Jenny said. “You’re here to whisk Rhonda away back on your pirate ship so the two of you can sail away into the sunset and host all the future Canadian seasons together!”

“What?” Mana asked.

“Rhonda is our best friend,” Jenny stated. “She’s staying with us!”

“I’m not trying to take Rhonda away,” Mana said.

‘Wait...what?” Jenny asked.

“Hear Mana out,” Toby said. “He’s actually really nice.”

“I don’t want to be an intern forever,” Mana said. “I actually want to teach English in America. Zac promised to help me do that; that’s why I’m on the show.”

“Then why did you trick Zac into coming here?” Jenny asked.

“Because I miss Rhonda,” Mana said. “We were in the same position and she managed to always put a positive spin on everything. She was just so excited she was about to host her own version, or was hosting on Total Drama at all. Things have been rough since she left, especially with Zac. I thought if they made up, maybe we can take some of that positivity with us. Maybe things would be better.”

Toby shook his head. “I don’t know. This show might have killed what Rhonda was. At least that’s how I see it. She’s changed.”

“She has a little,” Mana admitted. “But she’s also still her. That’s what I think.”

Toby shrugged while Jenny frowned. “So...you really aren’t here to take her away?”

Mana shook his head. “I know what this means to her. Besides, I wouldn’t want to take her away from her friends. I mean you guys really care about Rhonda, huh?”

Jenny blushed. “Yeah...just don’t tell her that. Okay?”

“Sure,” Mana laughed. “But I do wish Zac and Rhonda could makeup.”

“It’s a long story,” Jenny said, “But you probably shouldn’t worry about that anymore…”

“Really?” Mana asked.

Jenny and Toby nodded. Mana pulled them into a hug, before Jenny shoved him away. “Okay, okay, let’s just finish this challenge already!”


Out in the water, Kalino and Yasmin took the lead.

“They’re gaining on us,” Yasmin said. “We need to do something.”

“I’ll take care of them,” Kalino stated.

Kalino stood up, holding his paddle into the air as Andre and Ness approached.

“Sorry Nessie,” Kalino said. “But I need a win. You can understand right?”

Kalino swang his paddle, almost knocking Andre out of the boat.

Ness growled, grabbing her paddle and jumping up. “Have at you then. On guard!”

The two began sparing with their paddles, clashing like fencing swords as they swung at each other. Finally, Ness tossed her paddle. Kalino ducked and winked.

“You aimed a little too hard.”

“I wasn’t aiming for you.”

Kalino looked behind him to see Yasmin, knocked overboard. He turned back, only to meet the end of a paddle that sent him falling into the water with his partner.

“And that’s for earlier,” Andre added, twirling his paddle in his hands.

The two partners high-fived and left the two behind.

“Now what,” Yasmin sighed.

Kalino shrugged, lying back and floating on the water. “It’s a nice day for a swim, right?”

Yasmin gawked. She splashed him, before a wave came and swept both of them away.


“...and that’s how we meet each other,” Toby finished.

“Wow,” Mana stated. “I was not expecting that.”

“The really crazy thing is what happened after,” Jenny replied. “You see-”

Mana pointed ahead. “Wait! Someone’s coming! It looks like...”







Sarah and Riley ran up the stairs and raced across the finish line. “Riley and Sarah! The winners of our Tides/Genesis crossover challenge!”

“Yesssss!” Sarah cheered, tackling Riley. Riley only looked down at the ground.

“You both will be staying in the luxury suite tonight,” Mana stated.

“Along with invincibility tonight,” Toby added.

“Which will be real useful if there’s a twist,” Jenny teased.

“Twist?” Riley asked. “Tobster, is there a twist?”

“That was supposed to be a secret,” Toby stated. “Just another thing Jenny can’t do right.”

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny shouted.

Riley shook her head. “No, no, no.”

“Riley?” Sarah asked.

“I’m sorry Rah-Rah, but I can’t do this,” Riley replied. “We can’t win invincibility. We cheated!”

Andre and Ness raced up the stairs and stared.  “Wait, what’s going on?”

Mana gasped. “You cheated?”

“And you actually admitted it?” Jenny asked. “Lame…”

“What?” Andre asked. “That doesn’t make any sense. Sarah is way too nice to try cheating.”

Sarah looked down at the ground. “I...I put hot sauce on your burgers. I hoped it would slow you down. And it kinda did...for a bit.”

“That’s why they were so spicy,” Ness gasped.

“But why?” Andre asked.

“Sarah, this isn’t about Eylar is it?” Riley asked.

Sarah opened her mouth, but said nothing. She ran off.

“The guy who always wears sunglasses?” Andre asked. “Even at night? I don’t think we’ve even talked before…”

“The rules in the Cutie Clue strictly forbid messing with anyone else’s cheeseburgers,” Mana stated. “So that means Sarah and Riley get an hour penalty. That also means that the winners of this challenge are whoever crosses the finish line next...ahem...”

Andre and Ness share a look, then immediately run over the finish line.

“Ness and Andre!” Mana announced. “Congrats on winning invincibility, the luxury suite, and being the first person to ever watch Twin It to Win It! You’re our Tides-Genesis crossover champions!”

“We did it!” Andre cheered. “We actually did it!”

“I can’t believe it!” Ness squealed.

“It’s all thanks to you,” the partners said to each other before hugging.


“They said I’d be the first gone,” Andre sang. “Again I would say so long. I wouldn't reach the halfway point. That all I would do is disappoint. Here I am! Here I am! I’m getting my first win! I’m no longer that first out has ben! Here I am! Here I am…”


“I won a challenge,” Ness sighed. “Me. Miss trips into the garbage can. Miss wears a dog cone. Miss gets attacked by crows. I won invincibility. I just...I can’t believe it! Maybe I got lucky with Riley and Sarah but...I don’t feel like I got lucky. I feel like me and Andre earned it. Eeeeeeeeeeee!”


Riley caught up to Sarah, who was singing alone to herself.

“I’m sorry Sarah,” Riley stated. “I just couldn’t do that.”

“I didn’t think I could either,” Sarah admitted. “Which makes it worse! I actually went that far. But Eylar…”

“I told you,” Riley said. “You have another choice. There’s always more than two choices.”

“To go against this agency?” Sarah asked. “What could I do? I’m just a music geek. An ugly duckling. I can’t help Eylar...even now.”

“Are you kidding?” Riley asked. “You’ve battled pirates. You helped restore a queen to her throne! You survived band camp!”

Sarah giggled and finally broke into a smile.

“The point is you don’t know what you can do till you try,” Riley stated. “There are a lot of things I didn’t think I could do before I joined this show. And I’m still proving myself wrong. And you’re not alone.”

Sarah glomped her friend, who returned her hug.


The scene cut to Ness squeezing a pillow in excitement. The teen was sprawled out on the California king bed. A quilted blanket entangled her. Andre sat at the end of the bed, his back pressed against the headboard. He was softly strumming the chords on a white guitar.

Ness turned to Andre. “Aren’t you excited!? You get to see Dania after all this time!”

The musician stopped. “Only a recording of her.” He looked down at the guitar in his hands. “It’s like listening to your favorite song on your phone, instead of live in concert.”

His eyes locked onto the black television screen. “Besides, what if she’s off having fun and she’s already forgotten about me?”

Ness tossed a handful of popcorn at Andre. “Why do you have to be such a downer!” She squeezed the pillow more. “I just won my very first merge challenge!"

"Well, with you of course.” She corrected when Andre gave her a questioning look. “And now we get to watch the very first episode of a brand new competition show!”

She squealed. “We get to see all kinds of new faces. We’re going to experience the kind of awe and wonder that only happens when a bunch of teenagers meet for the first time!”

She pulled out the whiteboard from under the covers. “And we get to rank them all of course!”

She tossed Andre a green marker. “I already ranked your number 1 for you.”

She pointed at Dania’s name.

The black screen immediately cut to a bubbly pop version of “I wanna be famous” sung by none other than Katie and Sadie. The two girls flashed across the screen in bright pink explosions. They marched down the catwalk, every few seconds their outfits changing. One second they’re wearing the Canadian Mounties uniform, and then the next they’re dressed like traditional geishas.

The pair posed at the end of the catwalk.

“Twin It!” Katie shouted.

“To WIN IT!” Sadie finished.

The pair are lifted into the air and then appear in the pilot’s cabin of a plane, wearing stewardess uniforms.

The scene fasts forwards to show Ness finishing her rankings as the end credits play. “WOW!” Ness exclaimed. “So many of my favorites! From so many different seasons!” She gasped. “And it was so…. So…”

“Cheesy?” Andre teased. “But it works.” He nodded. “Oddly enough.”

Ness revealed her rankings to Andre. Dania was at the top of her rankings too. “Dania’s amazing! I mean I always thought she was a little boring in Frozen… But the way she just sticks it to her dad? That’s so awesome!”

Andre blushed. “Yeah she’s pretty great isn’t she. Too great.”

He sighed. “She’s losing everything because of me. And I’m not even going to win Tides for her.”

Andre slid into bed and hid his face in the pile of pillows.

“Don’t say that!” Ness shouted, crawling over to wrap her body around Andre’s. “You made it this far! Everyone here, and on your show loves you! You have a solid chance!”

“I’m just a loser,” Andre groaned. “Her dad’s right. That’s all I’ll ever be. I’ll never be good enough to deserve her.”

“No.” Ness refused. “You deserve each other. You know why? She’s literally competing with the person she hates the most right now, all because she wants to have a chance with you! She wants to convince him that he was wrong. And I believe in her!”

Ness offered a smile to Andre. “There’s no better love story on reality television right now than the story of Andre and Dania.”

She tucked Andre into bed.

“Just make sure it gets a happy-ever-after ok?” She whispered turning off the TV.

“Promise.” Andre whispered pulling Ness in for a group hug.

“Thanks Ness. Really. For everything. I’ll miss you when I leave here.” The musician mumbled as he drifted off to sleep.

The camera panned away revealing Ness’s smile.


“So yesterday’s challenge was super fun!” Weston exclaimed. “Me and Alfie had a lot of fun. I think everyone had fun. Rhonda and Zac did! So much that they decided they were going to wait for elimination. So we spent all day with the sailors at the hotel. I showed Alfie all the sights...and the best sweets shops. But then at dinner...I guess the fun had to end sometime.”


At dinner, the sailors and newcomers were chatting with one another.

Riley and Sarah were apologizing to Ness and Andre. Cherry was bragging to Jasper. Lita was styling Malia’s hair, while Yasmin and Damien were talking to Kalino.

Trixie and Tessa were chatting, as Ignacio and Sam were laughing with Melissa. A slightly less grumpy looking Viola sat next to Sam.

At the end of the table Vance, Weston and Aflie were playing poker, using candy as poker chips.

Even Mana, Jenny and Toby were talking in the kitchen. Rhonda stood in the doorway and laughed as Zac strutted up.

“Where have you been all day?” Mana asked.

Zac blushed. “Oh you know…”

“You’ve been to see Hayden haven’t you!” Sarah exclaimed. “I can see it on your face.”

“Okay, yeah I have!” Zac bragged. “We had a romantic day out on the town! Thanks Rhonda.”

“My pleasure,” Rhonda replied.

“I hate that we have to leave,” Zac sighed.

“Do we have to?” Malia asked. “Can’t we stay just a little bit longer?”

“I still need to use that spa like five more times,” Cherry added.

Zac shook his head. “The network wouldn’t let us. Not to mention I can’t let Tides be brought down in the ratings by being with Genesis.”

“Excuse me,” Rhonda replied. “But Genesis is killing it’s primetime slot and beating Tides in Canada.”

“I mean it’s good,” Zac said. “But we’ll still have the most Zactastic ratings. As long as Tim Hortons is delicious.”

“It never was,” Rhonda stated.

“There they go again,” Toby sighed.

“Yeah, but I think it’s a little less angry,” Mana stated.

“And what of the eliminations?” Yasmin asked.

“You had to remind him,” Damien whispered.

“There are quite a few people I’d like to be rid of,” Yasmin replied.

“We haven’t forgotten,” Zac replied. “We’ll be having ours in an about an hour once we get back to the ship.”

“We’ll have ours about the same time,” Rhonda replied. “So say your goodbyes...and decide who you're sending home.”

“What do you think we’ve like been talking about all day?” Cherry asked.

Rhonda and Zac shared a smirk, like conjoined twins.

“Oh crap,” Sam stated.

“The twist,” Riley sighed.

“We had to do something special to celebrate an international crossover,” Rhonda teased. “So Zac and I put our heads together and decided we needed a twist.”

“Like we said earlier,” Zac continued. “You’ll each be voting off a new loser...just not one of your own.”

The collective teens gasped, except for Vance who seemed very confused.

“So there isn’t an elimination?” Vance asked.

“I think Zac means we’re voting off one y’all,” Trixie replied. “And you're voting for one of us.”

Zac and Rhonda nodded eagerly. “The sailors will vote for off a newcomer and the newcomers will vote off a sailor.”

“Let’s see if these new friendships you’ve made pay off,” Rhonda teased. “You’ve got an hour to talk. To the sailors; it’s been wonderful to see you all again. Good luck on the Forgotten Seas!”

“And it was a joy to meet you newcomers,” Zac added.

The hosts and their sidekicks walked off as the teens began to pair off...


Kalino looked around, now back to the elevator confessional. "Not gonna lie, I'm going to miss the giant clam shell..."


The newcomers sat in their Haunted Internet Café, not sure if they should read each others faces or not.


Lita sat back in the elevator confessional. She forced a smile. “Everybody tried to talk to their partner for a little bit. But we didn’t have a lot of time. It was hard for us Genesisters and brothers to pick who to vote for; it was mostly for who our partners wanted. We can only hope they did the same…”


“Apparently some partners didn’t like each other at the challenge,” Weston said. “I think some of the others are worried about that biting them in the butt. But I’m not! Alfie and me gotta along like water and oil; two liquids chilling together. I voted for what was best for him, and I think he’s doing the same for me. I'll miss you little me. Safe travels back to your dimension!”


“Just add Damian’s name to the list of people who hate me,” Tessa stated. “If he has any friends, like his bookworm pal, then I’m probably dead. You know, for once it’d be nice to not be worried I'll be voted off…”


“Poor Trixie,” Vance sighed. “She’s probably heartbroken that she has to leave me. Happens to the women I meet on the road for the rodeo all the time. Usually I’m leaving them though. I tried to tell her names, but she didn’t really listen. Probably too tore up about leaving me.”


“We didn’t plan on having an elimination like this,” Ignacio admitted. “I think after Tessa averted that automatic elimination, we didn’t think we’d have another unusual elimination like this. It's impossible to read what's going to happen. I know what I told Sam and I suspect what the others informed their partners but...I have a sinking feeling...


The newcomers sat quietly as Rhonda walked out with a plate of nine coffee cups. She studied her casts faces; remembering this was her final ten.

In truth, she had missed Mana and the contestants of Tides. Even if it was only a little, she had missed her former boss. She missed being liked and seen as the good guy. She had made friends with them. She couldn’t say that about the Genesis contestants.

But seeing her newcomers’ faces, she knew that this was her job. They hadn’t looked as nervous as they had at other eliminations, or as sad. They looked like someone waiting to open a present and not sure if they should be glad…or disappointed…or upset.

It was this reaction she wanted. It was her job as hostess and she was getting it. It was her job to torture them; she was the bad guy. She nodded to herself, accepting this fact. It worried her a little bit, that she might actually like being the bad guy, but it was the truth. She gave everything away to be the bad guy. Now looking at their faces, she could tell she was good at it. It's who she was now.

“Let’s see what fate our foreign friends have in store for you,” Rhonda said. “The first coffee cup obviously goes to Ness. Congrats. A maple syrup themed beverage just for you!”

Ness beamed as she got her coffee cup, not even phased that it had a leak in the bottom and most was on the floor. She sipped it happily.  

“Next is…Riley and Weston.”

The two smiled as they caught their cups.

“Jasper and Ignacio.”

Jasper sighed heavily like every time his name was called as Ignacio nodded.

"Melissa."

The sweetheart nodded and caught her cup.

Rhonda shook her head. “I’ve got three coffee cups left. You’ve all gotten votes, but only one of you got enough to seal your fate. Blame Canada, blame the other newcomers, blame me…or blame yourself. Because today’s big loser is…”





































…Lita.”

Lita’s whole demeanor fell. It was clear from her face she wasn't expecting this. She was still processing it. Before she even realized it, she was crying.

Ness had already beaten her to it. She had been trying to contain her sobs when Rhonda first said she was announcing the loser right away. The other Fireworks hadn’t reacted well. Ignacio looked furious, Riley frowned and Tessa sighed. Jasper was heartbroken.

Melissa was already patting Lita on the back, though the knockout didn’t react. The others were somewhat surprised.

Only Kalino smiled as he sipped his coffee.


“Yasmin and I didn’t get along,” Kalino stated. “But we found common ground on one thing; we have people we want gone. I agreed to get me and the old Eagle boys to vote for whoever she wanted, and she got her alliance to vote for who I wanted. Weston and Vance asked their partners to vote for Lita. And it all worked out peachy keen for everyone.”

He beamed. “Oh…I guess not for that little girls' alliance. I mean that's why it had to be Lita. Sure she's strong, but she's also the key to defeating a girl's alliance. How? Simple."

Kalino held up two fingers. “I need to do two things. First, I need a guy’s alliance. But Ignacio and Jasper wouldn’t commit. Which can only be for one reason; they’re in love. I know what that’s like; you want to work with them even when it’s not in your best interest. It wasn’t hard to figure Lita was the love bug that bit them…so I called an exterminator to squash her.

"The second thing I need to do is break up the girls. If they don’t vote together, they can’t get the numbers to stop the guys' alliance. But how does Lita going home do that? Hehehe…”


Ness wiped her eyes from her sleeve, looking up to glare at Tessa.


“That witch!” Ness screamed. “She was pretending like she wanted to make up with Lita. Then this special elimination comes along and finally gives her the chance to what she’s always wanted; eliminate Lita. That stuck-up, fake, two-faced, full of herself, spoiled, little…****!”

Ness’ glare quickly faded back into a frown. “I jinxed it…didn’t I? I thought today was a dream come true. But it was actually my worst nightmare.”

Not knowing what else to do, she started crying again.


Back in the Tides confessional, Yasmin reread over her notes. "Someone in particular is working to undermine me. This is the perfect chance to get rid of them. The fact they've had payback coming is just an added incentive. I don't know why Kalino wants that girl gone, but I told Cherry and Damien. Let's see if he held up his end of the bargain."


Alfie munched on a chocolate bar. "Weston wasn't really sure why I should vote for her, but he says it's because she's super strong. Malia did say she was stronger than Emmett. So I hope that eliminates a threat for you! I really don't care who he votes for it...though I did tell him not Trixie."


Malia sighed. "I don't want to but...I have to vote Lita. Cherry told me it was best! If I wanted to prove I'm Cherrilicious and independent, then I have to be willing to get rid of baggage. She said I have to show America what's what and I have to prove I don't need someone protecting me. I'm sorry Lita, but I have to do what's best for the new me!"


"I don't understand," Lita said.

"I'm sorry, but you got the most votes," Rhonda explained. "I can't really say anymore than that."

"I...I didn't even pack."

"We'll have your bags sent to you. But the Public Transportation of Losers will be here any minute."

Lita groaned, standing up. "I guess I did something wrong..."

"No," Ignacio said. "You couldn't have."

Lita shrugged. "It's been real y'all. I had a lot more fun that I thought I could. Keep at it."

She nodded at Tessa, waved at Jasper and Melissa and patted Riley as she exited. She and Ignacio hugged; he tried to force a smile, but she didn't reply. She hugged Ness, wiping away tears, but Ness didn't react. Lita exited the Revolving Doors of Shame, when...

"Wait!"

Lita turned to see Jasper running up to her.

"I just...I...um...I'm..."

Lita forced a laugh. "You don't say?"

"Sorry," Jasper replied. "I just don't know why you're going. But I'm really glad you were here."

"Fat good I did," Lita replied. "I didn't win it for my family; I got close but still so far. All I did do was get rejected twice."

"That's not true," Jasper replied. "You won a challenge! You gave your family a free trip to D.C. You meant a lot to a lot of people. Including me. So you didn't get a boyfriend; doesn't mean you're not worth dating. That's why I wanted to tell, I've been wanting to tell you for a really long time..."

"Yeah?"

"I um...thank you."

Lita hugged Jasper. "Thank you for being the sweetest. Now go show everyone how kick-butt you are."

Jasper nodded and blushed. As he left, Ness came out too.

"I guess this it," Lita said.

Ness ran up to her and glomped her. "Please don't leave Lita! Please!"

"I don't really have a say," Lita replied. "But...you don't need me here."

Ness shook her head as Lita wiped Ness' face with her arm. "No, you want me here. But you don't need me."

"I've never had a friend till I met you," Ness admitted.

"Me neither," Lita stated. "And I couldn't have gotten a better one."

Lita held up her arm, showing off her friendship charm bracelet. She grabbed Ness' arm and did the same. "Me and Seraphina may not be here physically, but we're still with you. And all three of us know you can do this."

Ness nodded, hugging her friend one last time. "I'm glad you came on the show."

"Me too," Lita replied.

The Public Transportation of Losers honked repeatedly.

"Alright, alirght!" Lita shouted. "I hear ya, I'm coming."


Lita winked at her BFFFL one last time before stepping on the bus. She sat in the front seat and waved as it departed, waving until the hotel was out of sight. She sighed, leaning against the seat. Lita stared out the window at the city. She grabbed her scarf, but dropped her hand.

She opened her window, lowering it and sticking her head out. The breeze blew through her hair. She unwrapped her scarf and tossed it out the window. "I don't need this thing anymore."

Chapter 20 A Zoo Story[]

It was around midnight in Washington, D.C. The streets were less busy than usual. But they weren’t empty…

“Woooooo!”

Kalino ran down the streets. He lead Weston, Vance, Jasper and an embarrassed Ignacio...streaking across the city.

“Midnight streaking!” Kalino cheered. “Do you feel that dudes?”

“The cold air?” Weston asked.

“No,” Kalino replied. “The freedom! We ain’t held to no rules mannnnn!”

“It is kind of fun,” Jasper admitted.

“We’ve almost been out here for an hour,” Ignacio stated. “How much longer?”

“As long as the night is young!” Kalino replied. “We’re just getting started.”

“I’ve been thinking,” Jasper said. “Maybe we should start that guys' alliance. I mean, just so we could work together officially.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Vance stated. “What changed your mind?”

Jasper blushed and shrugged.


“I was really depressed that Lita left,” Jasper admitted. “Maybe it wasn’t smart, but I wanted us to go far in this game together. I trusted her a lot. But now I realize I’m kind of on my own. So maybe an alliance would help? Plus, it means I can hang out with more people. I’m ‘one of the guys’. It’s nice to be included and wanted.”


“I’m still open to it if you guys are,” Kalino stated. “I mean if we’re the only ones in the hotel, we could just stop wearing clothes there!”

“Let’s not be absurd,” Ignacio replied.

“Come on Iggy,” Kalino said. “You can’t tell me your not having a little fun right now.”

Ignacio blushed and forced a laugh. “I guess I’m having a little fun. It is nice to be this open with everyone. I appreciate you all doing this for me.”

“Of course!” Weston replied. “We’re here for you.”

“Alright, let’s try it,” Ignacio said. “Let’s make a guys' alliance.”

The other guys cheered.


Kalino smirked. “It’s like I said, with their crush gone those Firework boys are off their leash and ready to start playing the game! Getting Lita sent home was doing them a favor.”


“Where to next?” Vance asked.

Kalino opened his mouth but was interrupted by the sound of sirens. “Uhh…”

Police cars started to swarm all of the guys. “Freeze!”

Weston shivered. “I already am!”


That morning, Melissa was humming a tune in the kitchen, as per usual. She was flipping eggs on the stove. However, her little cockroaches were scurrying around her. They were sweeping the floor, polishing the counter, and putting away glasses in the cabinets, all to the beat of Melissa’s melody.

Riley yawned, strolling into the kitchen. Tessa raised an eyebrow. “Umm…”

“Good morning gals!” Melissa greeted. “Could we get you some breakfast?”

“Eggs and bakey please!” Riley replied.

Two cockroaches flew over a plate with Riley’s order. The bro nodded at them and began eating.

“So we’re just not going to talk about how cockroaches are cooking?” Tessa asked.

“Huh?” Riley said. “Ooh, yeah. It’s cool your little bug buddies are helping you out Melissa.”

“It is awfully sweet of them,” Melissa replied. “I told them it wasn’t necessary, but they insisted!”

“I guess they want to pay you back for saving and raising them,” Riley said.

Tessa squirmed as the same pair of roaches dropped a plate in front of her. “Okay, I have to say it. This is disgusting.”

“Cockroaches are actually very cleanly creatures,” Melissa replied. “They’re constantly cleaning themselves and are nature’s recyclers.”

“I’d still prefer they didn’t serve my food,” Tessa gagged.

“You won’t have to worry too much longer,” Melissa said. “I’m letting my babies go today.”

“Really?” Riley asked.

Melissa nodded. “They don’t need me to care for them anymore. Carlton, Camilla, Cornelius, Countess, Cackle, and Jay need to go and experience the world with the time they have. They need to meet friends and start families. They’re not babies in a salad anymore.”

“That’s kind of sad,” Riley admitted.

“I don’t think so,” Melissa replied. “It’s just the nature of things. I’m rather proud of these sweet bugaboos and happy for their new life.”

Tessa looked around the cafeteria. “So...Ness hasn’t been up yet?”

Melissa sighed and shook her head. “I left her breakfast and she took it. I’m actually sharing the luxury suite with her since last night’s unfortunate events. But she hasn’t spoken much. Funny enough, I haven’t seen any of the boys either…”


The male newcomers sat in a holding cell at a police station, still not wearing clothes.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever been this embarrassed,” Ignacio stated.

“You say that almost everyday,” Kalino teased.

“I’m sure Carla is having a field day about this,” Ignacio said. “Proof of how depraved I really am.”

“My sister is probably going I told you so,” Kalino stated. “Always said I’d go to jail one of these days.”

Kalino and Ignacio shared a look, then started laughing.

"Screw them,” Kalino stated. “Bunch of party poopers. Like the POPO here. Expressing yourself isn’t illegal!”

“Public indecency is though,” Ignacio replied.

“Do you think we’ll be kicked off the show?” Jasper asked.

“Nah,” Vance replied. “Rhonda wouldn’t let us; it’d interfer with her schedule.”

“I just hope going to jail doesn’t show up on our record,” Weston stated. “It’ll be hard to be a trusty detective with a criminal record.”

“Like a professional detective?” Vance asked.

“Yeah!” Weston replied. “Before I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do in the future. But I’ve had a lot of fun being a detective recently.”

“You’re good at it too,” Jasper added.

Weston blushed. “Thanks! I think I know what I want to do; I want to become a detective full time. If I win the show I’m going to open my own PI business, maybe over a nightclub. And get a talking car too to solve crimes with too!”

“Like Knight Rider?” Jasper asked.

“Who?” Weston asked. “I was thinking more of Speed Buggy. Anyway, I think maybe I’ll just try to save some money by doing community college for criminal justice. Then became a sleuth!”

“That’s sounds really cool,” Jasper stated.

“And rather practical,” Ignacio said. “At least the degree part.”

“I’m just glad I know what I want to do,” Weston admitted. “It’s a relief to have a plan for my future.”

Kalino sighed.


“I’m happy for Weston,” Kalino said. “But his words kind of...stung. I mean I don’t really have a plan. What kind of special skills have I learned here, other than to hurt and toss aside people? I guess there are jobs for that...but I don’t want to be defined as that person. And I wonder if...when I win the show, will I just spend my days doing nothing? Is that okay? I know it’s selfish, but it just bums me out to see Weston be so happy about his future when I’m...not.”


“Hey nudies, you’re free to go!”

Rhonda walked up to the cell as a police officer unlocked the door.

“You're welcome,” Rhonda said.

“Why didn’t you come last night when we dang called?” Vance asked.

“To teach you a lesson,” Rhonda replied. “And because I was asleep! You’re just lucky we were able to get this on film or it’d be bad.”

“So are we gonna stand trial?” Weston asked.

“As if,” Rhonda said, “I’ve worked it out with the police force. Some community service and you won’t even have an arrest record.”

“Yipee!” Weston cheered.

“You didn’t happen to bring us any clothes, did you?” Ignacio asked.

“Not my problem,” Rhonda replied. “Now go get in the bus before I leave you here.”

The guys shrugged and followed Rhonda out, ignoring the police department’s snickers or disapproving looks.


Outside of the Pentagram, Melissa held a bowl containing the cockroaches up to the sun. “I’m sorry my little critters, but it’s time to say goodbye.”

The cockroaches hissed but Melissa shushed them. “I’m sorry dearies, but it’s not my place to keep you all the time. You were meant to do more than be coddled by me. This is just another moment of our lives. Maybe we’ll meet again, but we’ll always be together in our hearts.”

Melissa handed each cockroach a small travel bundle. "A little snack for the road. Your favorite; caramel cockroach cannolis. Now go, be free!"

One by one, the cockroaches flew up into the sky and spread out across the city. Melissa waved as she watched them go.


“I know it seems silly to care about cockroaches,” Melissa said, “But even a cockroach deserves love, doesn’t it? They were put here for a reason. So why not be kind to them, or any animal? Mohammed taught after all, that ‘a good deed done to an animal is like a good deed done to a human being...’ “


The next morning, Ness sat on the roof of the Pentagram, staring out at the sky.

“Hey.”

She turned to see Ignacio standing there. “Hey.”

“Mind if I sit with you?” he asked.

Ness shook her head. “Don’t you have to go do community service?”

Ignacio blushed. “So, you heard…”

“Yeah,” Ness giggled a little. “I didn’t believe at first; didn’t sound like you.”

“I’ve been trying new things,” Ignacio admitted. “Are you okay? Nobody’s seen you leave the room.”

“Why I would I need to?” Ness replied. “I’m in the luxury suite; I don’t need to leave to eat, or be entertained.”

“It must be nice,” Ignacio said.

“I’ll have you spend the night the next time I win,” Ness said. “If I ever win it again. It’s so great I don’t want to leave...and I really don’t want to go back to my old room.”

“Ness…”

“I just don’t want to go back there and realize they’re gone,” Ness admitted. “To sit in that empty room without Lita or Seraphina. I didn’t even realize last night I wouldn’t see her anymore…”

Ignacio hugged Ness. “I miss her too. But we’ll see everyone again. It’s just goodbye for now.”

Ness broke the embrace. “I don’t know if I believe that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean sure we all say we’ll see each other again,” Ness stated. “But we live miles apart from each other. Maybe we’ll text and Facetime a lot at first, even visit each other a couple of times. But eventually we’ll grow apart. We’ll get distracted, forget, lose contact. We’ll just be memories to each other.”

“You can’t believe that,” Ignacio said.

Ness shrugged. “I don’t want to! I don’t want to lose my best friends, my only friends. But isn’t that what happens? And with Lita gone...I don’t have anymore time with her.”

“You understand that’s ridiculous, right?” Ignacio asked. “For starters, Lita won't lose contact with you. She will smother you everyday, calling at least twice a day. And more importantly, I think when you have an experience like this with other people...it bonds you. You only share it with them after all.”

Ignacio grabbed Ness’ hand and held it in his own. “I promise that I won’t forget you. We’ll stay friends for along time.”

Ness couldn’t help smiling. “Thanks Ignacio. I’m glad you’re here with me.”

The hunk returned her smile. He stood up, pulling the blonde to her feet and tugging her along with him. “Come on, let’s go to the dining hall and get lunch before I have to go pick trash off the side of the road.”


In Tessa’s room, Riley and Tessa were having a pow-wow session, while enjoying some burritos.

"Why is it always burritos with you?" Tessa teased.

"The better question is why shouldn't it be?" Riley retorted. "Burritos are the top of the Riley food pyramid, right above hot wings and pizza. Now, what were you going on about before lunch?"

“I’m just saying that with Lita gone the girl’s are outnumbered,” Tessa replied.

“How much you want to bet that’s Kalino’s doing?” Riley asked. “For a chill dude, he has no chill.”

“Of course we have no way to prove he did it," Tessa said. "We can't even ask the Tides cast why. Is he just immune to votes like he is shaving?"

Riley rubbed her chin in thought. “You said you gave him that flashdrive?”

Tessa sighed. “Yeah but...you don’t think he has it, do you? I mean it won’t work without a golden flash drive. And that’s if he hadn’t used it.”

Riley shrugged. “He may not have ever needed to. Especially if the losers who don’t like him in sequester were eliminated by him like you think. He knew who was going home. And if Weston or Vance found a flashdrive…”

“...Then Kalino can use his!” Tessa exclaimed. “That’s almost scary...except for the fact those two couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag. With a hole in it.”

Riley raised an eyebrow. “Sweet T-”

“-I know, I know, too mean,” Tessa sighed.

“What we need to do is make sure Kalino doesn’t find a flashdrive,” Riley stated. “We need to start looking.”

“I’ve been looking,” Tessa replied. “Haven’t you?”

Riley blushed. “Well...you know...I’ve had a full schedule.”

“You think they wouldn’t be so hidden,” Tessa said. “I mean, wouldn’t Rhonda want us to find it? She’s all about twists and ratings.”

Riley snapped her fingers. “You’re a genius Sweet T. Rhonda does want us to find it! What did she say at the merge feast, when she went on about another flash drive?”

“That she was hiding another one since we hadn’t used any,” Tessa replied.

“But what else?” Riley asked. “Didn’t she say something about finding it?”

“Yeah, to find out where it was hiding. Like to flush it...out….”

Tessa and Riley both shot each other a look. “You don’t think…”

“The toilet in the lobby!” Riley yelled. “It’s been clogged since the merge! What if…”

Both girls ran out the door, dashing down the stairs.


Moments later, Riley exited the lobby bathroom to a waiting Tessa.

“Well,” Tessa said. “Did you find it?”

Riley shook her head. “It’s unclogged.”

“What?” Tessa asked. “Are you sure?”

Riley nodded. “If you want to check, you can. But that toilet has never looked so clean.”

“No, I believe you,” Tessa replied. “Also, I’d just rather not set foot in a public restroom. They’re grody.”

“There’s a plunger in there that wasn’t before,” Riley explained. “Meaning someone already unclogged the toilet. If the flash drive was hidden in the clog, it’s gone now.”

Tessa scratched her head. “But then...who found it?”

“No clue,” Riley replied. “But on the bright side, we now have another toilet we can use. Let’s celebrate with more burritos!”

Tessa rolled her eyes, but smiled as she followed her friend.


The next afternoon, Rhonda gathered the newcomers into the dining hall. Cups of pencils and pens lined the table. Rhonda strolled in and waved. “So who’s ready for today’s challenge?”

“Actually I-”

“Good!” Rhonda shouted. “Because here it is!”

Rhonda dropped a giant stack of stapled together papers. Toby came out and placed more onto the table.

Weston pouted. “Homework in summer?”

“This is one of the most comprehensive personality tests ever,” Rhonda stated. “It was created by a group of award winning psychologists with edited questions from several of the most thoughtful questionnaires, including the Myers Briggs test, Sixteen Personalities, and the ‘Which Disney Princess Are You?’ Buzzfeed quiz.”

“Oh mannnnnnn,” Kalino stated. “I thought I was a Rapunzel, but I was such an Ariel.”

“Your job is to fill out this questionnaire honestly,” Rhonda said.

“What for?” Ignacio asked.

“You’ll find out in a couple of hours when we review the results,” Rhonda replied. “Just know you can’t compete in today’s challenge if you don’t fill it out. And the rewards today are worth it.”

Rhonda left as the newcomers looked over their tests.

All the newcomers stayed in the dining hall as they started filling out the sheets.

“Hey Melissa,” Vance said, “what did you get for question number 64?”

“Vance dear, it’s whatever answer you want to put,” Melissa replied.

“Well I want to put the right answer,” Vance replied. “So please help a partner out?”

“There is no right answer,” Ignacio stated.

“Wait...you mean it’s not graded?” Vance asked. “Then who cares what we put!”

“I’ve already finished,” Kalino replied. He held up his test, revealing he used the dots to make a smiling sun.

“That is one way to show your personality,” Melissa said.


“I haven’t taken a test in years,” Vance admitted. “But why would I? I dropped out of school. Never went back when I joined the rodeo. I’m startin’ to think that was a bad idea. I mean until recently I didn’t know how to read. I wonder if it’s too late to go back…”


Tessa scribbled away at the test. Her pencil snapped. “Hey Ness, could you pass me another pencil?”

Ness glared. She held out a pencil only to snap it in her hands. “Oops.”

Tessa raised an eyebrow.


Ness glared. “I know Tessa got Lita eliminated. She tried to fool us all, but couldn’t help going back to her true nature. I’m not going to let her slink by and hurt anymore of my friends! She’s enemy number one. And she knows why.”


“I have no idea what’s up with Ness,” Tessa said. “I thought we were cool before. Did I do something?”


Rhonda returned two hours later and took the results. She excused herself, encouraging the teens to go ahead and eat lunch. After lunch, Rhonda had the newcomers gather in the auditorium. They stood on stage as Rhonda came out, followed by Jenny and Toby pushing carts covered in tarps. Growls, screeches and other noises could be heard under them.

“Are you ready for another throwback challenge?” Rhonda asked. “Because this challenge harkens back to a fan-favorite from the early seasons. It’s...the animal buddy challenge!”

The newcomers stared at her. Only Ness seemed excited.

“Which season was that?” Riley asked.

“Wasn’t it that super lame final four challenge in season 2?” Weston said.

“I liked it,” Rhonda said. “So we’re doing the animal buddy challenge.”

“How does this all pertain to that survey?” Ignacio asked.

“That test was a spirit animal quiz!” Rhonda replied. “We’ve analyzed all of those questions to find what animal is perfect to be your new best buddy! Are you ready to find out?”

“Me!” Ness squealed. “This is like my dream challenge!”

Rhonda pulled a list out her back pocket. “It may turn into a nightmare. Ness, your spirit animal is…”

Toby yanked away a cloth, revealing a large bird of prey with checkered underwings and a gleaming black head. It cawed and screamed.

“...the peregrine falcon!”

“He’s gorgeous!” Ness awwed. “I think he. I know that most male birds of prey are smaller than females due to sexual dimorphism.”

The falcon cried out again, pecking towards Ness.

Rhonda nodded. “Yup, he is! Falcon fact: The peregrine falcon is the world’s fastest animal, capable of reaching a speed of over 320 kilometers!”

“And that’s my spirit animal,” Ness swooned.

Toby tossed Ness a leathery glove, the kind commonly used in falconry. Ness eagerly equipped it.

“Are you sure about this,” Ignacio said. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you don’t have the best luck with animals Ness. Especially birds.”

Riley nodded. “Like those murders of crows.”

“Or the chicken hawk,” Melissa added.

“Or that bluebird,” Ignacio stated. “Or pigeon.”

“Didn’t you almost choke on a chicken bone the other night?” Weston said.

“Okay, so maybe I haven’t made a feathered friend,” Ness stated. “But as a vet I want to work with animals. And this is my spirit animal! We’re meant to be friends!”

Toby opened the birdcage and immediately hit the deck. The peregrine falcon cried out, soaring through the sky. It dived down and grabbed Ness by hair, dragging her away. “See, we’re already bonding!”

“Who's next?” Rhonda asked.

Vance pushed Weston forward. “Go get ‘em partner!”

“Any guesses on your spirit animal?” Rhonda asked.

“Um...a puppy?” Weston said. “Ooh, or a manticore!”

“So close,” Rhonda said. “But it’s actually…”

Jenny smirked as she revealed a long tank, containing a nearly seven foot long alligator with white skin and pink, almost red, eyes. It flashed a toothy grin.

“An albino alligator!” Rhonda stated.

“Wow!” Weston exclaimed. “It’s a like ghost alligator!”

Jenny opened the cage, placing a collar around the white reptile and handing it to Weston. He whistled for it to come towards him, but it only snapped the leash in two. He stepped a few steps away as the alligator lied down and began snoozing.

“I’m so jelly!” Riley said. “Did y’all only have an albino one?”

“The test said his spirit animal was specifically an albino alligator,” Rhonda answered. “Albino alligators are regular alligators, just with a different appearance due to having no melanin. It’s eyesight is also very poor as a result.”

“Aww,” Weston sighed. “Wait...does this mean I can’t see either?”


"I never thought of myself as an alligator person," Weston admitted. "But alligators are stars in some of my favorite horror movies! Usually they're some mutant sewer gator or dino crocodile, but I have a ghost gator! I wonder if I can pet it...or will my hand phase through it?"


“You’re very knowledgeable about animals,” Ness stated, as her falcon dragged her by.

“I should be,” Rhonda stated. “This is a perfect challenge to educate our viewers on our new furry, feathered, fishy, scaly, creepy-crawling and or amphibious friends.”

“Educate?” Tessa asked. “On Genesis? I wouldn’t be surprised if you get dumber watching this show.”

“We are technically a kid’s show,” Rhonda replied. “So we should have some educational content.”

“Plus it’s a tax write-off,” Toby added.

“Since you’re so full of sass, how about you next Tessa?” Rhonda asked.

Tessa sighed, but stepped forward. “Is it dangerous, humiliating, or both?”

“Whatever fits your personality best,” Rhonda replied. “And it turns out that animal is…”

Toby lifted another tarp, revealing a hive of buzzing...

“Bees?”

“Well bee,” Rhonda said. “But I mean we couldn’t not use a whole bee hive.”

“What do I have in common with a bee?” Tessa asked.

“You're bossy and mean,” Kalino suggested.

“That’s so rude,” Ness said.

“Thank you,” Tessa said.

“Bees are the one of the world’s pollinators,” Ness said. “They’re innocent little gals, nothing like Tessa.”

“What?” Tessa asked.

Rhonda cleared her throat. “To educate our viewers, these are Africanized bees. They're one of the most well-known invasive species, species not originally from a land that spread out and tend to cause harm to the surrounding environment.

“These bees are an accidental crossbreed between Western and African honeybees. They tend to swarm more and are more aggressive than Western bees. That’s how they got their nickname; killer bees.”

“Really?” Tessa asked. “You’re giving me a hive of literal killer bees?”

“It is your spirit animal,” Kalino teased as he walked up to the stage. Tessa sighed, not noticing Toby tossing a beekeeper hat right at her head.

“What have you got for me Rhonda?” Kalino asked.

“I’m glad you asked,” Rhonda said. “Because you have…”

Jenny lifted a tarp to reveal a large, three-toed mammal dangling from a tree branch inside his cage. “A sloth!”

“Sweeeeeeet,” Kalino sighed.

Kalino stared at the cage as the creature lifted in it’s arm in slow motion just to eat another leaf.

“I feel a deep, transcending connection with this guy,” Kalino stated.

“This sloth is a brown-throated sloth,” Rhonda explained. “They sleep for fifteen to eighteen hours a day. They rarely go down from their tree branch, usually only every eight days to def-”

Rhonda frowned as she Kalino and the sloth snoring. She kicked them to the side.

“Next is Melissa,” Rhonda stated. “What animal fits you Melissa?”

“I don’t have a favorite animal,” Melissa said. “I love all animals equally and infinitely! They’re just so important to our planet after all.”

“I think this show really agrees with that Melissa,” Rhonda said.

“How many animals have you used in challenges so far?” Ignacio asked.

“I’ll do you one better,” Tessa said, “How many has Cynthia killed alone?”

“She’s reached triple digits I think,” Weston added.

Rhonda hushed them. “Now then, Melissa your animal buddy is…”

Toby pushed aside his cart. He walked backstage, then came back out pulling on a rope leash. He yanked, but the creature behind the curtain wouldn’t budge. Finally, a trumpet like noise blasted Toby to the ground. Stomping out came…

“...An Asian elephant,” Rhonda announced. “The largest land animal in Asia, with their African cousin being the largest land animal period. The Asian elephant may have up to 60,000 muscles in their trunk alone, which can-”

The tusked elephant trumpeted his trunk at Rhonda until she fell over.

“Oh, he is precious,” Melissa stated. “Or she…”

Rhonda sighed, not moving from the ground. “He. Females can’t grow as big tusks.”

“He is rather large,” Melissa admitted. “But that’s just more to love!”

Melissa held out her hand. The elephant grabbed it by his trunk and shook her violently before slamming her against the ground. “And such a firm grip!

Jasper stepped forward. “I was hoping for an elephant; then he couldn’t forget me. But I’m sure my animal will be just as cool...right?”

“Well Jasper,” Rhonda said. “You animal buddy is…”

Jenny lifted a tarp off the cart, revealing a clear tank. It had a log and sun lamp, but no animal. Jenny dropped the empty tank in Jasper’s arms.

“Huh?” Jasper asked.

Suddenly a fly buzzed by his head. Out of nowhere, a slimy, long tongue trapped and swallowed it. Inside the tank, a chameleon changed to a bright green color.

“...A chameleon!” Rhonda announced.


Jasper sighed. He opened the cage, where the chameleon crawled up to his shirt and camouflaged himself. “Ha, ha. I get it. Invisible Jasper gets the invisible animal. Real clever! Those tests were fake, weren’t they?”


“Next up is Ignacio,” Rhonda stated.

Ignacio shrugged stepping forward. “Anyone want to place their bets?”

“Maybe a peacock,” Ness suggested. “Since they’re so pretty.”

Riley shivered. “Or a not terrifying animal. Like a lizard, since they use heat.”

“Maybe it’s locusts,” Kalino suggested. “That’ll eat your clothes.”

The model shook his head and turned to Rhonda. “Well?”

Rhonda motioned to Toby. He grabbed a cage from the lower rack, carrying it a good distance apart. He dropped it in front of Ignacio, removing the cloth and stepping back to reveal…

“A skunk?” Ignacio asked.

Inside a small skunk uncurled herself and batted her eyes at Ignacio.

“Yup, a skunk,” Rhonda stated. “This black and white mammal is somewhat infamous for their scent glands, using them to create a noxious smell that can ward off bears!”

“Any chance the glands have been removed?” Ignacio asked.

“Pet skunks often have their glands removed,” Rhonda replied. “But your buddy is the whole package. Take care of her.”

“I suppose it beats locusts,” Ignacio said, hauling the cage away.

Riley stepped forward, almost jumping in place. “Alright, I’m ready. Tell me what my spirit animal is! I hope it’s something rad, like a mantis shrimp.”

Rhonda shrugged. Jenny giggled as she pushed out a large aquatic tank. A large fin moved around the top. It’s black beady eyes glared as Riley pressed her face against the glass.

“Awwww yeah!” Riley whooped. “A shark! That’s like the balliest spirit animal ever.”

“A great white shark to be specific,” Rhonda stated. “Also called the white death, because this species of shark causes the most shark attacks against humans. It can also live to be around seventy years old.”

The great white shark smiled, revealing his missing tooth.

“All right sharky bro,” Riley stated. “We got this!”

“All that leaves is Vance and his animal buddy,” Rhonda said.

“I was planning on going at the end,” Vance stated. “You save the best for last.”

“It must be why he always gets last in challenges,” Tessa whispered to Riley.

“I reckon sharks and elephants is cute and a white gator is ‘fancy’,” Vance stated. “But my spirit animal has to capture my cool manliness! Let’s see it!”

Rhonda shook her head. “Get it from behind the curtain Toby.”

From the curtain, Toby pulled another rope leash. Vance smirked, but his smirk dropped as Toby effortlessly dragged out a little lamb. The lamb tried to step forward on his feet and immediately tripped.

Kalino snorted. “Yup, that’s your spirit animal man! Really captures your fuzziness.”

“I think it’s ideal,” Melissa added. “It reflects how sweet Vance really is.”

“You have to be yanking my chain,” Vance said. “A sheep?”

“No,” Rhonda replied. “A lamb.”

“And what in tarnation is the difference?” Vance asked.

“A lamb is a baby sheep,” Ness said.

“A baby animal for the biggest baby,” Tessa whispered.

“I demand a recount!” Vane shouted.

“We ran these a few times already,” Toby stated. “Your animal buddy is your spirit animal. No returns or refunds.”

Vance rolled his eyes, picking on the lamb in his arms. It bleated, then started chewing on Vance’s sleeve. “Rassa frassin, racka-frackin…”

“So let’s review,” Rhonda said, “We have Ness and a falcon, Weston and an albino alligator, Tessa and killer bees, Kalino and a sloth, Melissa and an Asian elephant, Jasper and a chameleon, Ignacio and a skunk, Riley and a great white shark, and finally Little Bo Vance and his lamb. Nice! I was hoping someone would get the whale or unicorn, but these all seem like amazing new friends!”

Rhonda looked up to see Ness still being dragged by her falcon, while Weston’s gator chased him and Melissa’s elephant kidnapped her in his trunk.

“So now what?” Vance asked, yanking his sleeve out of the lamb’s mouth.

“You’ll need to demonstrate your newfound friendship to our panel of judges,” Rhonda answered. “Show how you’ve bonded or are similar. Like teaching them a trick or do something together."

“How do I bond with bees?” Tessa asked.

“Maybe they like jazz,” Melissa suggested.

“We’ll give you about three hours to figure it out,” Rhonda replied. “More time for you and your buddies to bond. Meet back here then. And try to wow us. Trust me, we have some extra special surprises planned for you.”

“I hope the surprise is no actual surprises,” Jasper mumbled, looking for his chameleon.


In the lobby, Riley wheeled out her shark’s tank. She panted and wiped the sweat off her forehead. “Alright, this seems like a good place as any. Let’s start brainstorming what we should do. What about some rad water-skiing routine. You know, combining my skating and your...fishiness.”

The shark glared at her.

“Aww, don’t be like that Jabberjaw,” Riley said. “We’re in this together. Isn’t there something you want us to do?”

The shark chuckled, flashing a grin with his missing tooth. He pulls out a bib with Riley’s face on it and tied it around his neck.

“Uhh, that’s not what-”

The shark emerged from the tank and tries to snap at her. Riley fell back. The shark jumped out of the tank, pulling out a knife and fork, and began chasing her. “Ahhhh! Wait...you could walk this whole time? Why did I have to push you up here?”

The shark chuckled as he followed after Riley.


Outside, Ness chased after her falcon. “Wait Falkner! I mean if you don’t mind. It’s not like I can fly after you...hmm…”

“Hey Ness.”

Ness turned and frowned as Tessa approached. “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to talk,” Tessa answered. “I know things have been kind of crazy, and I know with Lita-”

“-Don’t say her name,” Ness yelled. “Don’t talk about her like you’re upset she went home.”

“I am upset!” Tessa replied. “We were finally working out our differences. I thought I don’t know...maybe we were even friends.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Ness asked. “When Lita happened to go home yesterday?”

“Wait...you don’t think I had anything to do with that, do you?” Tessa asked.

“You also voted for Lita before,” Ness replied. “And now you finally had your chance.”

“But Ness-”

“You know I really wanted to believe you could change,” Ness stated. “But I always doubted it. Maybe people just can’t change. They just are their nature, like an animal. Your just another bully.”

Ness ran off. Tessa hung her head in shame.


In the cafeteria, the shark sniffed the air. It came into the kitchen. Sinking to the ground, it saw Riley hiding in a dumbwaiter. It smirked, charging forward...and running right into a reflection of Riley on a shiny cabinet. Riley popped out and threw a net over the shark.

“Alright Jabberjaw, what’s the big deal?” Riley asked. “Aren’t sharks not supposed to actually be mean or mean to eat humans?”

The shark crossed his arms and pouted.

“I mean what I did do you?” Riley asked.

The shark opened his mouth and pointed at his missing tooth.

Riley gasped. “Oh snap! You were that one shark from that one challenge! The one where Seraphina Silverman and I had to get that key...so I punched you in the snout and knocked out your teeth.”

The shark glared at her.

“Hey don’t blame me! You were the one trying to eat us in that challenge. Aren’t those supposed to grow back?”

The shark shook his head, then shrugged. He sighed.

“Oh,” Riley said. “I guess it didn’t grow back, huh? I imagine it’s hard being a shark that doesn’t have a tooth. The other sharks probably aren’t always nice about it…”

The shark nodded. He sniffled, wiping away a tear.

“Okay, okay,” Riley said. “I’m sorry dude! Tell you what, I’ll get you a new tooth. A replacement!”

The shark stared at her.

“No, really! I mean humans have fake teeth all the time, I’m sure we can find some dentist vet to fix yours. Heck if I win, I’ll give you a really swanky tooth! Like a gold tooth...wait no, we’ll replace your tooth with a diamond! Showing you're a fancy dude and making it unbreakable!”

The shark smiled and nodded his head rapidly. It throw off it’s net and glomped Riley. “Don’t mention it Jabberjaw; it’s the least I can do.”

The shark carried Riley out of the kitchen. “Wait, where are we going?”


Three hours later, most of the newcomers but two had gathered back into the theatre. On stage sat a judging table with three chairs.

“Alright folks,” Rhonda said, walking out on stage. “Are you ready to show off your new animal buddies?”

The newcomers shrugged as their animals howled and growled.

“Maybe next season I should only cast animals,” Rhonda admitted. “Now for our judges there will be me of course, Jenny and…”

Down from the corridor, a golden retriever in a sports jersey and sunglasses skateboarded across the stage. It backflipped off the board, landing in the final judge’s chair.

“Beloved animal actor and athlete from the ‘A Dog Plays…’ movie series, Pal!” Rhonda announced.

“Ruff! Ruff!”

“Woah,” Weston gasped. “They got a celebrity I actually know. And a famous one too!”

“Thanks for being here Pal,” Rhonda stated. “I can’t wait to watch your new movie coming out, A Dog Plays ESports. And your new series, Indiana Bones and the Raiders of the Lost Bark.”

“Woof!”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “You think her forced shilling would sound natural by now.”

“Where the heck is Toby?” Vance asked. “Why ain’t he judgin?”

“Because he’s my sidekick,” Jenny replied.

“Because I know how to work the stage controls and Jenny doesn’t,” Toby yelled from backstage.

“YOUR MOM!”

“Your goal is to get the highest score,” Rhonda continued. “The higher the score, the better. Anyone who does get a perfect score may have the chance to earn a game-changing advantage!"

The newcomers shared a look.

“Alright, first up is...Kalino and his sloth!”

After a mintue, Toby pushed Kalino and his sloth out on stage. Kalino lied face down on stage, Kalino’s sloth clinging to his back.

“Well?” Rhonda asked.

The two sat there, finishing each other’s snores.

Jenny pulled a rock out of her pocket and tossed it at Kalino’s head. “Entertain me peon!”

Kalino stirred up and raised an eyebrow at the judges. “Huh?”

“What do you have to show us?” Jenny asked.

“Ooh,” Kalino replied. “Uhh...me and Kalino Jr. here decided to take a nap while Rhonda was blabbing. Were we supposed to do something?”

“Well, I think this is an easy score,” Rhonda said to the other judges, who nodded.

All three judges held up tens.

“What!?” Tessa screamed. “A perfect score! He didn’t doing anything.”

Ignacio chuckled and clapped. “How Kalino of him.”

“It’s clear you and your buddy have bonded,” Rhonda stated. “You guys are on the same wavelength!”

“I also like how you insulted Rhonda,” Jenny added.

“Ruff!”

“Sweeeeeetttt,” Kalino replied. He and Kalino Jr. rolled off the stage.

“Next up we have...Weston and his albino alligator.”

Weston appeared on stage in his swimsuit, pushing out a wide, swampy tank. “Let’s get it Wally. Kick it!”

Elton_John_-_Crocodile_Rock

Elton John - Crocodile Rock

Elton John’s Crocodile Rock started blasting in the amphitheater. Weston ran up and jumped into the tank, slashing the judges with swamp water. Weston submerged from the water...on the albino alligator’s head.

But the biggest kick I ever got was doing a thing called the Crocodile Rock.

Weston became mock surfing as Wally moved around the tank. A wave machine in the back created waves that the two ‘surfed’. Weston did some dance moves on top of the albino gator’s head, who banged his head along to the beat.

I never knew me a better time, and I guess I never will.

The tank burst, flooding the stage and soaking his fellow competitors in the front row as Weston ‘surfed’ out onto the stage just as the music ended. The judges clapped as Weston and Wally bowed their heads.

“That was a very fun performance,” Rhonda said. “Almost worthy of a perfect score…”

“Woo!”

Rhonda and Pal held up a 9, while Jenny held up an 8.

“What?” Weston asked.

“Unfortunately it was a little off,” Rhonda stated. “It shows a little lack of understanding of your animal buddy. I mean, you know crocodiles and alligators are separate animals right?”

Weston stared at the judges. "What?"


Weston sat across from Wally. "Did you know this Wally?"

The albino alligator nodded vigorously.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Weston asked.

The albino gator started chuckling, before falling over laughing.


“Next is Melissa and her elephant!”

Melissa waved as she walked on stage. “For our activity, Babar and I will be sharing a new recipe with you all.”

Toby pushed out a makeshift curtain as Melissa tied an apron around her waist and Babar placed a chef’s hat on it’s head with his trunk. He trumpeted as Melissa clapped and the two got to work.

“First one and three fourths milk,” Melissa explained. She held a bowl above her head. Babar nodded, drinking milk from a cup, then spraying it into the bowl. Melissa giggled as she wiped it off her face.

“Next some flour…”

Babar blew flour out it’s trunk all over the kitchen. Similar to the way they cake themselves with mud, the elephant was now decorated with flour. “Perfect Babar. Now then…”

The two went over a simple to follow recipe; Babar used his trunk as a second appendage, from cracking eggs to mixing the bowl. It even helped crush peanuts, when it wasn’t stealing them. Finally, Melissa put the mix in the oven.

“And when they’re done,” Melissa narrated, “all you have to do is decorate and you’ll have…”

Babar presented a tray of elephant shaped pastries. “Ta-da! Peanut butter elephant eclair cake! A sweet dish inspired by this sweetheart.”

Babar covered it’s face with his ears as if blushing as Melissa giggled and petted his trunk.

The judges munched on the treats as they all held up tens.

“Wonderful presentation,” Rhonda stated.

Jenny shoved two squares into her mouth at once. “Mmmm..bonus points for free food, num, num, num…”

“Next is supposed to be Ness, but since she’s not-”

“Ca-caw!”

Everyone looked up. Ness’ falcon circled the sky. A spotlight suddenly shined on the balcony seats. Stepping into the light was Ness in some of brown flight uniform, complete with bird like wings that extended like flaps from the suit, along with a pilot’s hat and goggles.

“Falkner here is the fastest animal there is,” Ness stated. “While I can’t get up to those speeds, I decided the best way to get to know my animal buddy was to take to the skies!”

Ness winked at Ignacio, who blushed. Lowering her aviator goggles, she stepped back...then ran forward and jumped off the edge.

Everyone gasped...but Ness didn’t fall. Flapping her wings, she glided through the air, circling the others from above. Hidden from their view, there were several large fans scattered throughout. Using there air currents, Ness glided with her suit, mimicking flight. Ness smirked as she and Falkner passed each other. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Kalino standing on the theatre catwalk.

Ness circled back around, heading for her perch. However, her falcon circled above her. Letting out a cry, the bird of prey dove down and tore her wings with his talons.

“Wait Falkner that’ll, ahhhhh!”

Falkner began pecking her face aggressively as she stopped flapping. Ness’ wing fell off. She looked down and gulped. “Uh oh...ahhhhhhhh... again!”

Ness screamed as she fell. She covered her eyes and braced for impact. But when she looked up, she discovered Ignacio had caught her in his arms.

“Ooh, thanks Iggy,” Ness stated, blushing.

“Um...uh...um…”

Ignacio dropped Ness. He blushed and started helping her up. “S..sorry.”

“Heh, you’re fine. The flight suit you built worked great.”

“I should have thought to add a parachute,” Ignacio stated.

“Once again Ness’ bad luck strikes,” Jenny teased.

“If you consider Ignacio catching you bad luck,” Rhonda sighed. “It is unfortunate because we can’t give you a good score Ness. You demonstrated you and your buddy just aren’t close yet.”

Rhonda held up a five, Jenny held up a two, and Pal held up a six.

“I thought me and Falkner were getting along great before,” Ness admitted.

Falkner screeched and left a dropping on Ness’ head.

“Next is...Jasper and his chameleon.”

Jasper awkwardly stood approached the stage. Behind him, Toby set up a projector and a small screen. Jasper opened the tank, pulling out the chameleon and setting it in front of the projector screen.

Jasper activated the projector. Creating a blue background. The chameleon matched it. The projector changed to dark red, light purple, pale yellow, dark gray and other colors while the chameleon matched them perfectly. It ended with a glowly rainbow display, with the chameleon perfectly matching all the colors.

The others clapped. Jasper held out his arm, his partner climbing up and disguising himself as his shirt. Jasper did an awkward bow. The judges held up their score; three fives.

“It was a cute idea,” Rhonda said. “But it doesn’t really show how you and your chameleon bonded or are similar. I mean you could have tried like hide and seek. Or maybe share a hobby or teach it your talent.”


Jasper shrugged. “I was hoping the color display would be enough. I just didn’t have any ideas. I mean teaching it my talent? I don’t have a talent to teach it. I guess I could have tried to eat flies like it…”


“Next is Ignacio and his skunk!”

Modern pop music began playing in the background. The lights dimmed, as the stage lights grew brighter. Ignacio pushed back the curtain as he strutted out in ‘model mode’. He was dressed in a modern suit, with a black and white design, complete with designer shades. Around his neck was some kind of black and white fur collar.

As Ignacio approached the judges table, the ‘collar’ moved, revealing itself to be his skunk partner. The skunk batted her eyelashes at the judges. She stood on Iggy’s neck, swinging her tail back and forth and nuzzling the model’s beard. Ignacio took off his black blazer, throwing it on his shoulder. He reached the end of the runway and both he and his skunk struck a pose. The lights returned to normal. The newcomers all clapped at the show as the judges held up three tens.

“Yes!” Ignacio cheered. “Wonderful work Potpourri.”

The skunk licked his face.


“I admit to be concerned about having a skunk as a partner,” Ignacio said. “Yet my animal buddy immediately took a shine to me. I’m not sure why, but I haven’t smelt any offending odors, so I won’t question it.”

Potpourri jumped on Ignacio’s shoulder, creating a heart around his neck with her tail. The model forced a smile as the heart tightened.


“Now we have Tessa and her killer bees!”

Ignacio and Potpourri immediately dashed off stage. Tessa exited from backstage, placing the hive in the middle of the stage very delicately. She was dressed in a gold leotard. Toby placed two spring green boxes to both sides of the stages. Tessa flipped her ponytail. “Cue the music!” 

Tchaikovsky_-_Waltz_of_the_Flowers

Tchaikovsky - Waltz of the Flowers

Tessa bowed as a familiar tune, Tchaikovsky’s ‘Waltz of the Flowers’ from The Nutcracker Suite began to play.

Tessa flipped forward on to the stage. Toby pushed out a balance beam and Tessa leapt onto it. She did a few quick tumbles across and struck a pose, before hoping down. She cartwheeled over to the green spring box, opened it, and removed some of its contents; flowers.

She laid a vase out and took more in her hand, before backflipping back onto the balance beam and tiptoeing over to the hive. She sprinkled flowers as she went, then opened the hatch and released the bees. She performed a somersault over the hive, then flipped her way to other the box, unveiling more flowers.

The bees now flew from the hive and over to the flowers towards the left, drawn by the scent. As Tessa laid out roses, tulips and carnations to the right, bees followed. The pollinators collected their treasure and returned to the hive. Tessa performed a tumble, then sliding on the balance beam and tossing flowers everywhere, landed in front of the hive. She tossed open the entire lid, as buzzing rang through the air.

Bees are known to communicate through motion, often thought as though their dancing. From the now revealed hive, the dance they shared to their fellow worker bees could be seen, matching Tessa’s movements. Tessa didn’t wince as the stage soon became filled with bees. Instead she tiptoed around them, continuing her routine as if nothing mattered.

Everyone was silent and watched intensely. Part of it was fear of killer bees, but the other part was simply awe. They were seeing an Olympic level gymnastics routine. Tessa’s movements were refined and some of her steps were trying to mimic her buzzing routine partners, who had their own little motions as they performed their own Waltz of the Flowers.


On the catwalk above the stage, Kalino gave a soft whistle. “I got to hand it to her, this is a pretty rad performance. She’d probably get all tens with that.”

From behind his back, Kalino pulled out a bottle of olive oil. He screwed off the cap and held it over the railing. “Sorry Tess. It’s really not personal.”

“Hey Kalino.”

Kalino nearly dropped the bottle, catching it on his foot and punting it off to the side. He turned to see Ness waving there.

“Ness? Haha...what’cha doing over here?”

I thought this would be a nice place to watch Tessa’s performance,” Ness answered. “It’s something isn’t it?”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

“What are you doing up here Kalino?”

Kalino shrugged. “I was looking for Kalino Jr. I figured sloths like high places so.”

“You lost him?” Ness asked. “How did something so slow get away from you?”

“I’m kind of a slooooow dude too.”

“Sounds like you weren’t fast enough."

Ness smirked. "I think I saw Kalino Jr. in the seats. Why don’t we go look for him together?”

“Sounds like a plan man,” Kalino replied.

Ness grabbed Kalino’s hand and pulled him with her.


On stage, the bees had finished their gathering and headed home to the hive. As the music came to an end and the last bee left, Tessa threw herself in the air. She struck a perfect landing. Closing the hive, Tessa take a bow as the Waltz of Flowers ended.

The judges leapt to their feet, or paws, as they clapped and howled in approval. The other newcomers did as well, Kalino, his sloth, and Ness now with them. The judges all held up three tens as Tessa took a second bow.

“An inspired performance,” Rhonda added.


“YES!” Tessa cheered. “I admit it, I didn’t think I had a shot in this challenge. I mean I had to work with killer bees! But I just had to play to my strengths. Once I decided on a gymnastics routine I just had to figure out how to incorporate the bees.”

“I realized they may be deadly, but that’s not their fault. They’re still bees and they're important to the Earth. They have a softer side really. Guess I did kind of relate to them in the end…”


“Let’s see if Vance can top that with his lamb.”

“All right Lambchop,” Vance stated. “Our time to shine!”

Vance walked out onto to stage, carrying his lamb. He placed it down on the opposite side. He tipped his hat at the judges and pulled out his lasso. He spun it around before tossing it around the lamb. The lamb bleated as Vance yanked it forward. He spun the lamb free from his rope.

Old time country music started to play as Vance started to square dance. He whistled at Lambchop, who approached and started to tap it’s little hooves along. Vance and Lambchop spun around. Lambchop bleated and bit Vance’s heels.

“Dang it Lambchop, not now!” Vance cried as his partner tried to eat his pants. Vance tried to shake lambchop lose, only to trip over the sheep and fall on his back.

“Baaaaaaa!”

Lambchop trotted over to Vance’s face, spit on him, grabbed his hat in his mouth and ran off.

The judges looked unimpressed.

“Ruff!” Pal barked, showing a zero.

“Zero,” Rhonda sighed.

“Negative one hundred!” Jenny yelled.

“Riley was last,” Rhonda said. “But since she and her shark are a no show it looks like…”

The lights went out. Smoke billowed from behind the curtains and covered the stage. A platform from underneath the stage raised. It had a giant underwater tank. Inside was Jabberjaw with a guitar. Behind him sat Riley in a scuba suit at a set of drums.

“This killer is Jabberjaw and I’m the brodacious Riley,” Riley announced into a mic in her scuba mask. “And we are SPLASH ZONE! Landlubbers and salty sea dogs, prepare to have your ****** rocked off! A one, a two, a one, two, three…”

Riley and Jabberjaw immediately went hard as they could and stated rocking. Jabberjaw shredded the guitar, even playing it with his teeth. Riley continued to beat the drums. Their music shattered their tank, causing the water to drain like a waterfall. At the same time, several water fountains sprung out of the ground.

The newcomers cheered. Wally the gator pulled out a lighter and waved it.

Jabberjaw finally finished with a guitar solo, then swallowed his guitar whole.

“Thank you!” Riley shouted. “And good night!”

The judges, and the rest of the newcomers, jumped and applauded the two. Each judge held up a ten.

“And we have another perfect score!” Rhonda announced.


Moments later, the stage was clean and the newcomers all sat down. Rhonda sat on the edge of the stage. “Overall, Ignacio, Kalino, Melissa, Tessa, and Riley have perfect scores! Then it’s Weston, Jasper, Ness, and finally Vance.”

“So what are these stupid scores about anyway?” Vance asked.

“And you mentioned something about a game changing advantage?” Ignacio said.

Rhonda nodded. “The winner of today’s challenge will win invincibility and the luxury suite as per usual. But for this challenge, we’re giving away some of the best rewards yet. You don’t even have to win the challenge to earn one.”

“For your second challenge, the higher you score the easier it’ll be. And anyone who got a perfect score and completes the challenge in the time limit will win some kind of prize. Some of those prizes could be secret, game changing advantages!”

“So what is the second part?” Tessa asked.

“You’ll find out when you wake up.”

“Wait, w-”

Tessa was interrupted by a tranquilizer dart shot into her neck. “Ow, Rhonda I swear to...uhhhh…”

The newcomers all fell to the floor and into unconsciousness.


“Uhhhh…”

“It’s not even doing anything!”

“Try throwing a peanut at it!”

Riley groaned, stirring as peanuts pelted her face. She looked up to see a bunch of teenagers above her.

“Dude, I crashed,” Riley yawned. “But...where did I crash to?”

“Do something exciting!”

Riley flinched as more peanuts were thrown at her. She stood up and rubbed her eyes, noticing she was in some kind of pit enclosure. Vines all grew around the stone. A sign above her read, “Brois Radious”.

A child tugged on his mother’s dress and pointed at Riley. “What is that thing mommy?”

“It's one of the scariest beasts of all,” the boy’s mother replied. “A teenager.”

“What is going on?” Riley asked.

“Wakey wakey newcomers!” Rhonda’s voice rang on P.A. “You guys seemed to not feel at home at the Pentagram Hotel. So, we decided to relocate you to new habitats!”

The camera panned out to reveal a zoo full of busy people. Ness shivered as she found herself in some kind of icy tank. Weston meanwhile floated on top of a lake as seals swam by him. Kalino scratched his head as meerkats started burying him in the savannah sand.

“The last part of your challenge is...a zoo-break!” Rhonda stated. “Your goal is to escape your display, find your animal buddy and bust out! You have until the sun sets in a couple of hours. First person to make it to the exit wins! Anyone else who does breakout in the time limit and got a perfect score gets a reward.”

Tessa screamed as a panda sat on top of her, chewing bamboo. Vance spit and kicked the bars around his enclosure. He hollered as he held his stubbed toe.

“Like I said, the higher score the easier this challenge would be for you,” Rhonda explained. “So those of you who did better are closer to your animal buddies and an exit. Those of you who did poorly...sucks to be you.”

“Hmm,” Riley said. “Doesn’t sound too incredibly hard.”

“Did I mention that we have animal control patrolling the zoo?” Rhonda asked. “Because they're armed with tranq guns, nets, and other fun ways to capture you if you’ve escaped. So have at the zoo. There’s lots of things to do!”

The PA cutout as Riley sighed, eating one of the peanuts thrown at her. “Don’t worry Jabberjaw, I’m on my way.”


“Hi-yah!”

Using a bamboo limb, Tessa pole vaulted out of her enclosure. She dusted off her hands. “Hmph, that wasn’t hard.”

She frowned as she read the sign next to her. “Shrilluis Olympicius? Who are they calling annoying? I’m just...vocal!”

“Did you hear something?”

“It sounded very shrill; we better check it out!”

Tessa’s eyes grew wide. She sighed as she hid in the only place that was close; a trash can. The guards ran by her. “Phew, at least-”

A passing by kid tossed a snow cone in the can. “Ughhhh…”

The kid raised an eyebrow. “Did that trashcan just whine in a shrill voice?”

“I’M NOT SHRILL!”

“Ahhhhhh!” the kid ran screaming. “Mommy! Mommy!”

“Crap,” Tessa sighed. She kicked over the trashcan and started rolling away...


Riley tied one of the surrounding vines around her waist. She then lassoed it to the sign. Once it clipped, she pulled on it and began to hoist herself out of the hole. “Alright, Jabberjaw has to be somewhere with water and tanks. So all I need to do...is find a map! Zoos have maps posted everywhere. I got this!”

The vine snapped, sending Riley plummeting back into the pit. “Eventually…”


“I woke up in a butterfly house,” Ignacio explained. “I was able to convince a guard to help me escape after...removing my shirt. Besides the terrible shame I felt, I was on a pretty good track…”


Ignacio, with his hood up, walked down the sidewalk. He stared at different cages. “Here Potpourri. Where could she…”

Ignacio sniffed the air and started speed walking to the right. He passed by crowds of people heading the opposite direction. Holding his nose, he ran to a corner where Potpourri cage was. The skunk immediately perked up as she saw Iggy approach.

Ignacio tapped his chin as he started messing with the lock. “I’m going to need a tool to pick this with…it’s times like this I regret not wearing hairpins.”

“Stop right there!”

Ignacio turned to see a platoon of animal control guards aimed at him. “Uh oh.”

“Put your hands and paws where I can see them!”

Ignacio raised his hands. “Wait, don’t! You’ll scare her and-”

“Move in!”

Potpourri lifted he her tail and sprayed a ginormous stink cloud.

“My eyes! My eyes!”

The guards ran away screaming as Ignacio began coughing violently. “Still...beats locusts…”


In an aquarium exhibit, Jabberjaw sighed as he swam back in forth in a small tank. A large lock was on the tank lid.

A little boy was repeatedly tapping the glass, right under a ‘do not tap the glass’ sign.

“Stop that!”

A guard ran up to the boy and pointed at the sign. “Since you can’t read; DO. NO. TAP. THE. GLASS! Got it?”

“Got this!?”

The guard turned around as Riley ran up and clocked him in the nose. “Punch in the snout for dominance!”

The guard fall to the floor. Riley turned to the glass and started tapping it at fast as she could. “Ah, ah, ah, ah! Ooh, finger cramp!”

Riley shook her hand. She started walking backwards, before running straight at the tank… “Get ready Jabberjaw!”

...and faceplanting against the glass.

Jabberjaw shook his head in his tank.

Riley scratched her chin. “Alright bud, we need something stronger to break this tank…”

Riley scoured the aquarium looking for a clue. As she looked up, she noticed a giant whale skeleton hanging over the area. “Ah yeah…”

The bro climbed on top of Jabberjaw’s tank, jumping and just grabbing the bone fin. Riley tried to pull herself up, but the display started swinging back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…

“Come on skeleton, just throw me a bone here,” Riley sighed.

Snap.

The entire whale skeleton came crashing down, along with part of the ceiling. From the rubble, Riley’s hand raised with a femur bone.

She got up and tossed the bone at the tank...which bounced off and did nothing.

“Really?” Riley asked.

She looked around, then grabbed a sharp piece of ceiling and hurled it into the glass. The tank shattered into pieces, and Jabberjaw surfed out. He flipped and Riley caught him in her arms. The shark nuzzled her cheek. “I told you I wouldn’t let you down fin friend. Now let’s blow this joint!”

Riley ran off as the earlier boy stared and watched her leave. Seconds later, a guard ran up and glared at him. “Were you tapping the glass?”


“Ow.”

Ness groaned. Her back hit the ice, making a few more cracks. She stood up, gaining her balance and glaring above her. A latch was just above her, but too high for the shortest contestant.

“If I could just jump high enough to grab it…”

“Not trying to escape, are you?”

Ness was so startled she fall backwards on the ice again. She groaned and looked up to see two guards watching her.

“Uhh...no. I was just stretching. It’s a little cramped being locked in here.”

“Good; we wouldn’t want to have to tranq you,” the guard replied. He motioned to his belt.

“Why are you even doing this?” Ness asked. “I doubt a zoo would need to, or want to, hire you.”

“We’re Washington’s Animal Control,” the other guard replied. “We’re only doing this for some good publicity.”

“Publicity?” Ness asked.

“Ever since that **** horse-”

“-Don’t mention it!” the other guard shouted. “If you say it’s name then it’ll appear.”

The first guard crossed his arm. “I’m not scared! I just want to teach that hoofed horror a lesson. It’s made of mockery of our job.”

“And destroyed the city,” the guard said. “It lit a school on fire! It’s a menace! A vessel for the devil to punish Washington! I just wish I knew who...who is the fool who cured us by unleashing it onto the city? Who? Who?”


On the other side of the zoo, Vance started to naw on the bars of his cage.


“WHO?”

Ness forced a laugh. “No clue. But instead of wasting animal control resources here, shouldn't you focus on the horse?”

“And face that thing? God forbid!”

“I’m not afraid,” the first guard stated.

“...Neighhhhh….”

“Ahhhhhhhhh!” the first guard screamed, waving his hands in the air as the other passed out.

A trashcan spilled over. Tessa crawled out on her hands and knees, throwing cotton candy out of her hair. “I can’t believe that actually worked…”

“Tessa?” Ness asked.

Tessa started climbed up Ness’ enclosure. “I know you want nothing to do with me. And I know that helping you won’t make a difference. But I overheard those chumps harassing you...and I couldn’t just sit by.”

“Tes-”

“I get it, I was an awful person. I’m not denying it. I can’t change that. I’m still probably an awful person. But I want to change that. And maybe doing the right thing I can change that.”

“But-”

“Yeah, I get you think I voted off Lita. And I did try when we were Fireworks. But I swear that wasn’t me. I was framed! I understand that sounds crazy…”

“I believe you!”

“...but I really wanted to bury the hatchet. I still feel like...wait, what?” Tessa asked.

“I think Kalino framed you,” Ness stated.

Tessa lifted the hatch of the exhibit. She pulled Ness up and helped the jinx of her prison. “You do?”

Ness nodded. “When I was flying I saw him on the catwalk. I caught him getting ready to sabotage your performance. Then I realized, if you really were evil you would've let me and Andre be sabotaged during the snow race.”

“You know about Damien’s sled switch?” Tessa asked.

“Lita’s partner told her about,” Ness replied. “She told me...I think she did believe you changed.”

Tessa blushed. “Really?”

“Absolutely...I’m sorry I didn’t,” Ness admitted. “I’ve just been betrayed in this game before. And...maybe I sort of associated you with some creeps from my school. So I let myself be convinced. Again, sorry.”

Tessa shook her head. “Please. You just gave a textbook example of Stupid Things Tessa Did 101. I appreciate it Ness.”

“Of course!” Ness replied. “Now let’s go out and win this thing. Then let’s give Kalino a little payback by voting him off tonight. For Lita.”

“For Lita!” Tessa cheered.


Rhonda yawned. She looked up at the sky; the sun was starting to set. She tapped her foot near the exit gate. “Where could they be?”

As if on cue, a running noise was heard. Off in the distance, the newcomers raced to her. Tessa took the lead, riding a cart with her beehive on it. Ignacio’s stink was so strong he could be seen behind her, Potpourri on his neck. Ness and Falkner, Weston and Wally, and Jasper and his chameleon followed. Melissa sat on Babar, waving as he trumpeted the charge.

Kalino was the caboose in this race, streaking at a slow pace. Kalino Jr held onto him with one arm, using the other to hold a leaf above Kalino’s...lower region.

“We’ve got a stampede!” Rhonda cried. “It’s anyone’s race.”

“Not for long!”

Jenny giggled as she approached the newcomers in a safari jeep being driven by Toby. The roof down, she stood out, pointing at them. She and her sidekick were dressed like stereotypical big game hunters.

“Those animal control morons were losers,” Jenny stated. “If you want something done right, you better do it yourself!”

“Then why am I driving?” Toby asked.

“Because,” Jenny replied, “I need my hands free for...this.”

From the backseat, Jenny pulls out a giant tranquilizer gun. “My tranq bazooka! Nighty-night!”

Jenny began firing multiple tranq darts at once.

Kalino dropped to the ground and rolled under the elephant, leaving it’s rear prime for target...

“Oh no!” Melissa cried. “Babar! Stay with me Babar!”

Babar let out a cry as several tranq darts hit him. He started swinging back and forth, knocking Jasper down as he fell with a thud. Melissa grabbed his trunk, petting it as she held him dear.

“What’s going on?” Weston asked. “And why do I feel so...sle…”

Weston face planted against the ground as he past out, a tranq dart sticking out of his rear end.

“Split up!” Ignacio yelled. “She can’t aim at all of us.”

“Oh you wanna bet Le Pew?” Jenny asked. “After all, I have my own animal buddy.”

“Cawwwwww!”

Everyone looked up to see a vulture circling the newcomers with a piercing glare.

Rhonda gasped. “It’s Elaine, the vulture that Jenny and Toby adopted as a pet in the fashion challenge. And hasn’t been seen for like...nine chapters, besides unnamed cameos! I guess the author actually remembered she existed.”

“Finally,” Jenny sighed. “Now attack Elaine! Destroy them my pet, muawhahahaha!”

Elaine let out a piercing cry. As if in response, Ness’ falcon also cried, spreading his wings.

“Wait, Falkner, we’re almost at the-”

Falkner took off, dragging Ness along with him. “Ahhhh!”

Elaine swooped at the newcomers, her talons out. They ducked, but she circled around and came at them again.

“Get away you ugly buzzard!” Tessa screamed.

“She’s a vulture you dodo!” Jenny called. “Elaine, rip her ponytail out her skull with your talons!”

Elaine rushed at Tessa, feigning left. The Olympian tried to dodge, but Elaine went right and knocked over the beehive. It shattered and the killer bees rose into the sky. Elaine seemed to smirk as perched herself on the jeep and let out a cry.

Tessa fell to the ground and braced for impact as the bees started to swarm.

However as the bees were about to strike, the froze in the air...as Ignacio ran forward. The smell was so strong, they all started to fly off and retreated into their shattered hive.

“I guess this stink is good for something,” Ignacio sighed.

“Not everything!” Jenny cried. “I brought nose plugs! Elaine, finish them!”

Jenny reloaded her bazooka. Elaine spread her wings and let out a caw, but it was interrupted by a cry of…

“Cowabunga!”

From the right, a giant tidal wave washed towards the exit. And surfing on top of it was Riley...riding on Jabberjaw.

“How?” Rhonda asked.


“We needed to play to my bro’s shark strength,” Riley explained. “So I stopped up a ton of toilets and sinks till they all exploded into a superwave! It was a lot easier than I thought it would be.”


Jenny tried to fire her bazooka, but Jabberjaw dodged all the bullets. “Crap! Do something Elaine!”

Elaine nodded...and flew off in the opposite direction.

“I didn’t mean that!” Jenny cried, before the wave knocked her away. The jeep, the other newcomers and their animal buddies were washed away.

“Sup Toby,” Riley greeted as she surfed by the sinking jeep.

Toby waved. “Hey Riley.”

Rhonda stepped back as the wave died out right in front of the exit. Riley and Jabberjaw slid right through and struck a pose.

“And we have our winners!” Rhonda cried. “Congratulations Riley and Jabberjaw!”

Ignacio and Potpourri washed up across the finish line. Then Kalino and Kalino Jr. floated to it on a trash can lid used as a makeshift boat just as the sun set.

“And Kalino and Ignacio also finished!” Rhonda said. “All three of them will have a chance to win another reward...and ugh, you also win a free tomato bath Ignacio.”

Rhonda, Riley, Kalino, and their animal buddies pinched their noses and stepped away from the hunk. Potpourri cuddled his neck.

“Thank you,” Ignacio groaned.

“We’ll give those out when we get back to the Pentagram,” Rhonda stated. “Everyone else get your buddies ready and head to the bus. I think we’re headed out.”

“Think?” Riley asked.

“Yeah,” Rhonda replied. “It’s just...I feel like we’re forgetting something…”


Vance groaned. He sat on the floor of his cage and pouted. Just on the outside, his lamb chewed on the seat of his pants.


After the challenge, Rhonda stood outside of the Pentagram with Pal. They seemed to be on some kind of graveyard set. Out of the door, Riley and Kalino came out with their animal buddies.

A minute later, Ignacio was pushed outside. He was dripping with tomato juice as he tried to hold a towel to his waist. Potpourri skipped on all fours after him.

“Do we have to do this now?” Ignacio asked.

“Come on, where’s your sense of adventure Iggy Pop?” Riley asked.

“Back in my bathroom,” Ignacio replied. “Along with the rest of my clothes.”

“Come on bud, we’ve been working on keeping that mellow,” Kalino said. “Do you want me to get naked too?”

“I can too,” Riley teased. “If that’s what you want…”

Ignacio blushed deep red. “Please don’t…”

“You’re redder than your tomato baths,” Riley laughed with Jabberjaw.

Rhonda coughed. “If we could pay attention please? For passing both parts, you’ll have the chance to get an advantage.”

“I’m guessing we gotta do something for it?” Kalino asked.

Rhonda nodded. “Exactly. Pal, if you would explain.”

“Bark, bark, bark! Ruff, ruff! Woooooooof!”

“Eloquently put,” Rhonda replied.

The three newcomers started at her.

“Well?” Rhonda said. “Get to it!”

“Um...could you repeat that?” Riley asked. “I think I missed...all of it.”

Rhonda rolled her eyes. “To save Pal’s vocals I’ll summarize; under each headstone in this pet cemetery is a treasure chest with some kind of reward. You have to choose one and dig it out.”

“That’s what I thought he said,” Kalino said. “Where are the shovels?”

“Pal didn’t need shovels to bury them, so you don’t need shovels to dig them up. You’ve got paws!”

Riley tapped her chin, then turned to her shark. “What’cha think Jabberjaw? Which headstone seems like a reward to you?”

Jabberjaw sank to the ground and began sniffing the ground. He circled through the graveyard until stopping at a gravestone marked, ‘Miss Puffycheeks.’ Riley held a thumbs up and began digging into the dirt.

Ignacio stops at a tombstone that said ‘Scruffy’. “Potpourri, could you help me and…”

Potpourri dove into the dirt and started digging.

Kalino looked towards Kalino Jr. “Alright pal, now your animal six sense to tell me where to dig!”

Kalino Jr. fall over and began to nap. Kalino shrugged and walked over to the nearest headstone, reading ‘Bruiser’.

Seconds later, Potpourri threw up a large treasure chest with a bone design on it. The treasure chest was about three times her size.

“Let me guess,” Ignacio stated. “These chests are tie-ins to Pal’s new movie?”

“They’re based off the Bark of the Covenant,” Rhonda stated. “And just like in the movie, these chests also contain a secret surprise! But What kind of secrets does Indiana Bones find in the real Bark of the Covenant? Find out in a theatre near you!”

“Ruff, ruff!”

Ignacio rolls his eyes as he and the others opened their treasure chests.


Kalino winked. “This challenge was toooooooo easy! Sure I didn’t win invincibility, but that just makes you a bigger target. I won something more important.”

From his back pocket, Kalino pulled out a black floppy disc. “This little cutie here can be used to steal the vote of anyone at any elimination. And the best part is they won’t even know. I’m starting to lose control of how many magic doodads I’ve found…”


Ignacio sighed. “Today’s challenge was rather stressful. I was hoping if I at least didn’t get invincibility, I’d win some kind of advantage. But instead I got a children’s toy.”

Ignacio revealed a box labeled ‘X-Ray Glasses; Spy On Your Friends!’ Ignacio pulled out dark blue specs with green, swirly lens. “I suppose Rhonda did say a chance for an advantage...but it would have been nice to at least win something useful. I'm at least glad no one can use these on me...if they even work.”


“So,” Riley said. “My treasure chest just had a little paper in it. And it said, come to the theatre later. Alone…”


Riley walked out onto the stage. All the lights were off. No one was there.

“Hello?” Riley called. “Any dudes or dudettes here? I’m here when you told me to come. I’m not going to be dropped down a trap door...right?”

The stage began to move. Riley jumped, but instead of going down the trap door something rose up onto the stage.

It was a large, gold podium. On it were several mini treasure chests like the previous challenge. At the center was a medium sized chest. It had a note attached to it, only saying ‘Open’.

“I feel like I’m about to open Pandora’s box,” Riley admitted. “Who knows what horrors I’ll find…”

Riley stared at it before immediately throwing the lid open. “Oh well!”

She peeked inside and pulled out...a golden immunity flashdrive. She kissed it. “Oh yeahhh! Thank you Jabberjaw.”

She fist pumped the air, accidentally knocking over the middle box and releasing a note. “Huh?”

Picking it up, Riley read aloud, “Congratulations, you’ve found a golden hidden immunity flash drive. However, this flash drive was misused before and has no power...for now. But thanks to Pal and Indiana Bones: The Bark of the Covenant, you have the chance to restore its power…”

“What?” Riley asked. “There always has to be a catch. ‘...There are fourteen mini chests here. Half of them contain a Goldendoodle Idol, while the other half contains a cursed Cat Skull. For every idol you find, your flash drive will work for the next elimination ceremony. But if you not find a cursed skull, you lose your vote. Will you risk it?”


“This reward has ‘Danger Zone’ written all over it,” Riley explained. “I could lose a crucial vote, just for a flash drive that maybe works. But fortunately, I love Kenny Loggins! Sure it’s risky, but I gotta take that risk! I mean my spirit animal is a shark; I’m the big kahuna of the sea. So I’m playing this extremely forced, cheesy tie-in! And there’s one sure fire method to solving this…”


“Eenie, meanie, minine...moe!”

Riley pointed at a mini-chest in the bottom left corner. She flipped it to reveal...an idol!

“Aww sweet!” Riley cheered. “So I can use this thing tonight. Alright, now let’s pick...the other corner!”

Riley opened the chest in the bottom right corner...revealing another idol. “Aww yeah, two for two. Now let’s go three for three.”

Riley opened up the upper right corner...and found another idol. “Yes! I am killing it! Alright, last corner piece?”

Riley raised her hand over it, but stopped. “Well…I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I mean three strikes you're out, right? I have invincibility, so I really can only use it for the next two ceremonies...but maybe that’s enough.”

Riley stepped back and nodded. She turned away, hiding the flash drive in her hat. The stage began to shake again and the podium sank back into the ground. Riley turned to watch it. The chest in the upper left corner opened itself...revealing it would have been a cat skull. Riley smirked and strutted on out.


In the lobby, everyone and their animal buddies gathered together.

“I’m afraid it’s time to say goodbye to our special new friends,” Rhonda said.

Melissa held Babar’s trunk tightly. “But, where will they go?”

“Back to the zoos or farms or aquariums they came from,” Rhonda replied. “Back to their homes and families.”

“I’m sure they miss home,” Melissa stated. “But I’ll miss you Babar.”

Babar sniffled, then snotted from his trunk all over Melissa. Melissa shrugged and hugged him.

“See you later alligator,” Weston stated.

He held out his hand to pet Wally but the gator snapped at him, knocking Weston on his back. Wally walked off.

Vance placed his hat over his lamb’s head. “Here partner, my spare hat. To remember me by.”

Lambchop nodded...then knocked off the hat and started eating it.

“Well Falkner,” Ness said. “Today has really-”

“-Cawwww!”

Falkner flew off. Ness sighed and walked over to Ignacio, who was petting Potpourri. “I guess this really wasn’t my challenge.”

“You did well,” Ignacio stated. “Besides the whole animal buddy part I mean.”

Ness giggled. “Thanks for trying. You and your sweet little skunk were fantastic. I had no idea you had such a bond with animals. It’s so cool Iggy.”

Ignacio blushed. “Well you know...I’ve always loved animals. I do want to be a science teacher after all. Biology is one of my favorite subjects...”

Potpourri growled.

“We should you know, visit a zoo something,” Ignacio said. “You know, together. A real zoo instead of this challenge.”

“That would be so much fun!” Ness stated. “I would love that! How about you join us Potpourri?”

Ness bent down to pet Potpourri, who hissed at her.

Ignacio rubbed the back of his head. “You know we could go just the two of us. Maybe as a-”

Potpourri snapped and bit Ness’ leg.

“Owww!”

“Potpourri, what are you doing?” Ignacio yelled.

“It’s fine,” Ness replied. “I think she’s just playing with me, right?”

Potpourri revealed her claws and began scratching Ness up. “Awww, I think she like me!”

Ignacio tried to pull Potpourri off. She snarled and replied by skunking him. “Ugh! Again, really? Really?”

At the front desk, Jabberjaw wiped away a tear. Riley patted his head. “Aww come on bud. This isn’t goodbye forever. I made a promise I’d help you fix your tooth, whether I win or not. So we’ll see each other again. In the meantime, keep on shreddin the guitar. Understand?”

Jabberjaw nodded. Riley and her animal buddy pounded fists.

Toby blew a whistle. None of the humans reacted, but the animals all grabbed their ears or shook their heads. They started to follow Toby out the front door.

“This really was such a cool challenge,” Ness said. “Just getting to be with these animals was amazing!”

“And we did form a bond with them,” Melissa said. “Maybe we taught them a few things.”

“And maybe,” Riley said, “Just maybe we learned something from them too. Who’s say to who was domesticating who?”

Riley belched and patted her stomach as the others laughed. From the door, the animals rolled their eyes.


Jabberjaw and the other animal buddies sat in the confessional. Babar only peaked his trunk inside.

“Why can’t man be more civilized like animals?” Jabberjaw asked in a British accent. The other animals nodded in agreement.


“Alright,” Rhonda said. “This nature lesson is over! You’ve got a few hours to decide which one of you will be going extinct next! Have fun.”


Melissa, Tessa, Ness and Riley gathered together in the luxury suite.

“So it’s decided,” Melissa finished. “We’ll all vote for him. He doesn’t seem like he has a flash drive, so he’s the best choice. Are we all together sisters?”

Melissa held her hand out. Ness placed her hand on top, with Tessa and Riley following.

“I just hope this works,” Tessa admitted.


But in the sauna, Kalino, Jasper, Weston, Ignacio and Vance had gathered together…

“So it’s decided,” Kalino finished. “Understand?”

“Of course!” Vance replied. “But uh...you should repeat for everyone else, just in case…”

“It’s not a hard plan,” Ignacio said. “We all just write down the same girl’s name. But are you sure it has to be her?”

“She’s our best bet,” Kalino replied. “We all vote for her. Five beats four, badda-bing, badda boom. Then the guys’ alliance starts running the game!”

“But-”

“It’s us or them,” Kalino stated. “You're with us, right?”

“Yeah!” Weston cheered. “One for all and all for one!”

“I’m with you guys,” Jasper said. “All the way.”

“Sorry ladies,” Vance stated. “But it’s us or them now!”

Ignacio sighed and nodded.

Vance pulled them together for a group hug, Ignacio blushing bright red.


At the Haunted Internet Cafe...

“Today has been wild, hasn’t it?” Rhonda joked.

None of the newcomers reacted, Tessa visibly cringing.

“Fine, it’s time for the finale,” Rhonda said. “The finale for one of you! This tray has eight iced pineapple expressos. There are nine of you. Need I elaborate?”

Weston counted his fingers. “Wait...repeat that?”

Rhonda groaned. “Just cast your votes!”


Kalino cast his vote. “Not my first pick to go home, but it really doesn’t matter. With that, the girls' alliance is officially dead.”


Melissa cast her vote. “This wasn’t easy, but it's our safest choice. I hope you can understand.”


Ignacio stared at the screen, moving the mouse back and forth.


Toby handed Rhonda a card. The hostess nodded. “The results are in! Let’s start with today’s winner, Riley!”

Riley caught her drink and gave a cheers.

“Also safe is...Kalino and Melissa.”

The two easily caught their drinks.

“Then we have...Vance and Jasper.”

Vance slapped Jasper’s back, almost knocking the drink out of Jasper’s hands.

“And Ignacio.”

Ignacio didn’t really react.

Rhonda picked up the second to last cup. “Surprisingly, this goes to one of our usual suspects. Congrats Tessa.”

Tessa raised an eyebrow, but caught her drink.

Weston and Ness turned to each other, both of their eyes widening.

“Welcome to the bottom two Ness and Weston. This cup can only go to one of you.”

Rhonda held up her finger, moving between the two. Ness was biting her nails and Weston shivered. Both followed the finger as it moved back and forth.

“And that is…”


















Rhonda rested her finger between the two of them. She shrugged. “...well that depends.”

“Huh?”

“We have a tie.”

What?”

Kalino raised an eyebrow. “Wait a minute, then that means…”

Ignacio sank into his seat.


“Once again, I've caused another tie,” Ignacio sighed. “Why do I keep doing this? I wanted to go with the guys and this alliance but...I couldn’t vote for Ness. I refuse to I just...I care about her. And I couldn’t convince them to vote for another girl. Kalino insisted on her. He believed she was least likely to have a flash drive.”

Ignacio rubbed the back of the head. “So I tried to take an in-between option; I didn’t vote for Ness, but I didn’t vote against the guys. I voted for Tessa...”


“What happens now?” Weston asked.

“A revote?” Ness guessed.

Rhonda shook her hand. “Nope! For this tie, our tiebreaker elimination method is...a challenge.”

Everyone gasped.

“It’s simple; whoever wins gets the last cup of coffee and competes again. The loser leaves. For one of you, this is your last chance.”

Weston and Ness gulped.


For the last time today, the newcomers gathered in the auditorium. Ness and Weston shared a look as they stood on stage, wearing Tarzan-like outfits. In front of them was a giant jungle gym, emphasis on jungle. It was dirty, like it had been covered in mud. The entrance was two sets monkey bars, each over a quicksand pit. It was overgrown with vines and other plants and bushes, that obscured what was inside.

Weston scratched his chin. “I think this may have something to do with the tiebreaker challenge.”

“To match our animal themed challenge,” Rhonda explained, “your tiebreaker will be a trip to a jungle...or at least a jungle gym. Your goal is to find this!”

From behind her back, Rhonda pulled out a golden monkey statue. “Whoever can bring me this monkey statue hidden somewhere in the jungle gym, will win the tiebreaker and safety. Just watch out in there.”

A roar like a jaguar echoed from the playground.

This is for all the marbles; are you ready?”

“Well I-”

“Go!”

Ness and Weston raced forward as the newcomers cheered them on.

“Cream her Wes!” Vance shouted.

“You can do it Ness!” Melissa encouraged.

Weston finished the monkey bars just a few seconds before Ness, sliding off the end and into the playset. “Weeeeeee!”

Ness panted as she finished and ran in after.

“Ahh!”

Weston jumped out of a bush. A large anaconda slithered out after him. He dove into a ball pit...only to find a hippo underneath him.

“Sorry sir,” Weston said. “I’ll be leaving now.”

Weston skipped across a row of hippo heads back into the jungle gym.

“I think I found something! Wait…”

“Ooh, ooh, ooh!”

“Please put me down!”

Ness was swung out an exit by a troop of howler monkeys. She landed in a quicksand pit. It wasn’t deep however, and she slowly she pulled herself out of the sand and became to climb back into the pit.

“Come on, come on,” Kalino whispered.

“Any minute now,” Riley said.

Suddenly, a clunking noise was heard. Falling down a slide was the golden monkey statue, landing in a pit of mud.

“There it is, there it is!” Tessa cried.

“But..who found it?” Jasper asked.

“Ahhhhhh!”

From inside the slide, someone screamed and tumbled down it…

“And the winner is…”




































“...Ness!”

Ness face planted in the mud. She held up the golden statue. “I did it...I did it!”

Weston fell out of the slide seconds later, landing on top of Ness.

“Aww man,” Weston sighed. “I knew I should have checked the slide…”

Rhonda tossed the last cup of coffee at Ness’ head. “Congratulations Ness. And sorry Weston. You’re out.”

Weston nodded.


Back at the Haunted Internet Cafe, Ness and Weston shook hands.

“Sorry it turned out this way,” Ness replied.

Weston shrugged. “I’d say the same thing if it was the other way. Kind of funny though. You were in a tie with me and Easton and you out survived us both.”

Ness blushed. “I guess I got lucky.”

Weston shook his head. “Nah, my detective intuition says it's not luck.”

Ness raised an eyebrow while Weston nodded at her.

Weston sighed as he grabbed his bags, staring at the Revolving Doors of Shame.

Vance grasped his shoulder. “Don’t be sorry buddy. You did amazing here.”

“Yeah,” Kalino added. “I mean you avenged Cynthia, you defeated your twin brother, and you tried really hard.”

Weston smiled a little. “Yeah, I guess I did better than I thought I would. Better than a lot of people thought probably. I’m pretty proud. I just hate that I have to go. I had a lot of fun! I don’t want it to end.”

“No one says this is the end deputy,” Vance stated. “Heck, know you’ll see Xi and Cynthia again. And when it’s all over, we’ll have lots of fun. We can all go streaking again.”

Weston laughed. “I guess you’re right. Bye dudes! Bye everybody! Keep having fun!”

Weston waved, then packed up his bags and ran out the door, almost tripping as he did.

The others waved as another friend said goodbye and left.

Chapter 21 Be Afraid, Be Marry Afraid[]

The newcomers ate dinner in the dining hall. It was a fairly lax day. Everyone seemed happy, but one person…

Ignacio lifted his fork to his mouth only to be hit with a pea in the eyelid. He ignored it, only to be hit in the nose as he tried to swallow. “Really?”

He glared at Vance from across the table. The cowboy held his spoon like a catapult, only having a bowl of peas in front of him. “What?”

The model rolled his eyes and tried to get another bite, only for a pea to land in his beard.

Vance snickered. “You got a little something right there partner…”

“How long do you plan to do this?” Ignacio asked.

“Depends,” Vance replied. “We might have more peas in the back.”


“We couldn’t get a male alliance together because Ignacio sucks,” Vance said. “Mr. model didn’t want to vote off his old teammate. So you know who caused Weston to go home? That ***hat! After streaking to help him, that’s how he repays us. Sorry deputy; you deserved better.”


“Why don’t you go see what Melissa’s making for dessert?” Kalino suggested.

“Hmph, fine,” Vance grumbled. He launched a final pea before stomping off.

“Thanks,” Ignacio replied.

Kalino shrugged. “No problem dude. But he has a right to be mad, y’know? You broke a promise to us.”

Ignacio sighed. “I know, I know. I really do regret it. But like I said, Ness was my teammate and a good friend-”

“-And you’re hopelessly in love with her,” Kalino stated.

Ignacio blushed. “...Whatttttttt? I am definitely, certainly, not-”

Kalino snorted. “Dude, come on. I should have figured it out sooner. It’s super obvious in hindsight.”

“Maybe I do a little,” Ignacio said. “But, please don’t tell her that.”

“We’re bros mannnn,” Kalino replied. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I thought you knew that…”

“I’m not used to having ‘bros’,” Ignacio admitted. “But you are my friend Kalino.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me you were uncomfortable with voting Ness?” Kalino asked. “You could’ve talked to me. Yet you didn’t.”

“It was stupid,” Ignacio said. “I regret that Weston went home for it. I just...I didn’t want to go against the guys' alliance. I tried to vote for Ness...but in the booth I couldn’t do that. Just thinking of not seeing her here tomorrow...I hate that.”

Kalino shook his head. “I understand that feeling. I really do. But are you going to throw away two mill for her? To help your family? You’ve risked a tiebreaker twice. Isn’t that enough?”

“I-”

“You gave up a sure final five to go with an alliance of four,” Kalino replied. “I’ll support you if that’s what you want to do Iggy. But I want you to know what you’re doing.”


Vance was in the kitchen, picking at a sundae shaped like a swan. He ate bites of it while Melissa added sprinkles.

“I’m truly sorry that Weston left,” Melissa admitted.

“Is it true you ladies have teamed up?” Vance asked.

Melissa looked away. “I had to do what’s best for my game. But I don’t plan on voting you out anytime soon Vance, I promise.”

“I know you keep you’ll keep your word,” Vance replied. “But...well, do you think I can ask something?”

“Of course,” Melissa replied.

“If you girls are going to target another boy...I’ll vote with you if it’s Ignacio.”

Melissa almost dropped her spoon. “Wait, really?”

“I don’t want that lint licker here no more,” Vance replied. “I want to be the one to send him home.”

“Revenge isn’t healthy,” Melissa replied.

“Please Mel, I’m asking as a favor,” Vance said.

Melissa sighed and forced a smile. “Okay Vance. But if you do that...promise not to tell Kalino.”

Vance raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Melissa wrung her hands together. “It’s just...if he does have a flash drive like some people suspect, he may spare Iggy.”

Vance sighed. “I don’t think he has one, but he’d be stupid to trust that goat udder. Sometimes I wish we could just be the Molting Eagles again. I mean, what if we made the final two Melissa?”

“Are you serious?” Melissa asked.

Vance shrugged. “You know what, I am! I mean I trust you and you trust me. And them girls ain’t Eagles like us.”

Melissa rubbed her chin. “I will admit I am worried going to the final four with three Fizzled Fireworks.”

“Wouldn’t they vote you out?” Vance asked. “I mean, would Tessa or Riley ditch each other?”

Melissa shook her head and went back to stirring. “I can’t think about this right now. I mean, you act like the girl’s alliance is invincible. There are still four of you boys, you know?”

Vance grabbed his ice cream bowl and headed for the door. “Just think about it, okay?”


Melissa gave a guilty look at the camera. “Vance made a lot of sense and had a compelling argument. And that’s very...unique and new for him. Even he’s aware that we all need end plans. I feel like I’m kind of winging it. I just wanted to play this game with people I can trust and not worry are actively planning my downfall. But I guess planning everyone else’s downfall is how this game is played.”


The next day, Jenny went door to door and gathered some of the newcomers, instructing them to come with her for the challenge.

Tessa, Ness, Riley and Melissa followed the co-host into a seemingly new wing of the Pentagram. It was a grand casino hall, with old slot machines and dusty tables. Despite its size, it was abandoned. Half lit signs and the occasional cobweb could be found.

“How many hidden rooms does this place still have?” Tessa asked.

“It would be quite the adventure to try and find them all,” Melissa said. “Except for the potential corpses you might find.”

“Yeah, we had to move a lot of hidden graves before we could get this part open,” Jenny replied.

Riley stopped at a slot machine and stuck a quarter in. The slots slowly turned. Gears inside screeched. They stopped and revealed her spin; 6,6,6. A human skull fell out. “Uhh...you might want to do another check.”

The five stopped in the center, where Rhonda stood on a little platform stage, likely where any of the casino’s entertainment would play. “Welcome to Pentagram’s Devil Den! We had to fix up the place, but it should be open for business!”

Tessa looked around her. “This is fixed up?”

“And now that we’ve moved all the dead bodies we-”

Jenny whispered in her ear.

“...Now that we’ve moved most of the dead bodies,” Rhonda continued. “We can use it for today’s special event!”

“But where are the boys?” Ness asked.

“Toby rounded them up earlier,” Rhonda replied. “For you see today’s challenge is another throwback classic! Because it’s not just a challenge…”

The sound of a funeral pipe organ began to echo in the casino. It played a familiar tune.

Melissa tilted her head. “Isn’t this Here Comes The Bride?”

“Oh no,” Tessa said, “No, don’t tell me it’s-”

The curtain of the stage parted, revealing Toby at said pipe organ. But more noticeable was a giant slot machine on the center stage. Muffled noises could be heard from inside it.

“It’s the wedding challenge!” Rhonda announced. “I’m so sad to give you away girls.”

“Really?” Tessa sighed.

“Wedding challenge?” Melissa asked.

“It was a challenge themed around getting married,” Ness explained. “It took place at Niagara Falls.”

“How romantic,” Melissa sighed. “But whose getting married?”

“You are!” Rhonda replied.

Riley raised an eyebrow. “What a bust.”


“I’ve never really thought about having a wedding,” Riley stated. “I mean one of my brothers has had two. Just seems like a waste of so much money. And they don’t even have a good spread! I guess if I ever did get married I’d just borrow my brother Pat’s shirt that looks like a Tux and do it on a rollercoaster or something. I know some girls are crazy about it but I just never got it.”


“I’ve been planning my wedding since I was five,” Melissa explained. “Granted, I don’t think Cinderella or Dora the Explorer would come like I thought then. But it’s like a festival about celebrating your past, present and future love. How can you not fantasize about it a little? Or have a scrapbook of ideas…or several scrapbooks. I haven’t finished yet of course. After all, I want it to reflect my relationship to whoever I marry. Ooh, I hope they release doves for the challenge!”


“For today’s challenge you’ll be competing in pairs,” Rhonda explained. “Each of you will have a ‘groom’ who you’ll share your special day with! And those grooms will be your male competitors.”

“So no one in our league,” Tessa teased.

“I’m guessing like the original we’ll win our groom,” Ness suggested. “From the giant slot machine.”

“Bingo,” Rhonda said. “Just pull the lever. You first Ness.”

Ness blushed and walked over to it. She pulled the giant red level. The slots whirled, passing faces of Ignacio, Jasper, Kalino, and Vance. Finally, it ended and revealed her draw; one Jasper, one Vance and one Kalino.

“Does she get all three?” Melissa asked.

Ness blushed. “I don’t know if I want a harem of guys. But I mean if that’s what I get…”

A spring boxing glove popped from the machine, socking Ness across the room.

“That’s what you get if you don’t get a match,” Rhonda said. “Although there’s supposed to be a low chance of it.”

“Of course there is,” Ness sighed from the floor.

“Still preferable to some of the other choices,” Tessa said.

Tessa stepped up to the machine and barely pulled the lever. “Let’s get this over with.”

The slot machine shook before finally spitting out her prize; Jasper.

“Ow,” Jasper replied as he hit the floor.

“Tessper!” Rhonda said. “That’ll make your our first returnee couple.”

Jasper frowned as he dusted himself off. “Fine.”

Melissa jumped forward and threw down the lever. The slots turned and turned until they lined up three grinning Kalino’s. He slide right out of the hatch and flashed a peace sign. “Yo!”

Melissa held out her hand. “Looks like we’re a team.”

“Sweeeet,” Kalino replied. “It’s like we’re Eagles again.”

“Awww Kalissa,” Rhonda said. “Nobody tell Aiden. Riley, care to find your perfect match?”

“Can we win any actual money from this?” Riley asked.

“You can only gamble your love life,” Rhonda replied. “You’re all under 18 after all. And we at Total Drama do not encourage underage gambling! But we do encourage legal adults to visit the Devil’s Den when it officially opens and-”

Riley pulled the level, the slot machine drowning out Rhonda. It whirled. One Vance. Two Vance. It barely missed the final Vance for an Ignacio. Vance fell out of the machine in a spread out model pose. He wiggled his eyebrows. “I don’t need to tell you that ya hit jackpot, do I darlin?”

Riley snickered. “Of course I have.”

“Hmm...Vanley or Rincley?” Rhonda asked. “Rance? I guess we’ll let fans decide. Which means that our final pair is…”

Ness spun the slot machine then immediately stepped out of the way. Naturally, it landed on Ignacio. The model sputtered out of the machine. He groaned as he fell out, his elbow lodged in the machine.

Ness came over and tried to pull him out, only to pull him on top of her. Ignacio started blushing deeply. “Ness? You mean...you and me? Partners? That’s great! I mean not like that...but not, not like that! It would be great, but I’ve never ever you know, had thoughts like that. That sounds bad but I don’t...I’m glad we’re partners.”

“Me too,” Ness giggled. “Now, um can you get off of me please?”

“Ignesscio!” Rhonda announced. “I ship all of you already.”

“You know I have a boyfriend waiting for me, right?” Riley asked.

“I can ship multiple ships,” Rhonda replied.


“I’ve always wanted to have a big wedding actually,” Jasper admitted. “To walk down that aisle and lift the veil...It just seems so special. Just to announce to the world you found somebody and celebrate that. I feel like a dork saying it out loud though…”


“I’ve never been to a real weddin',” Vance stated. “And I guess I still haven’t cause this don’t count. My ma and pa weren’t. She left him and he hooked up with my stepmom, but I don’t even know if they’re married. He promised her he would. Maybe they did since I’ve been gone? Frankly, they probably deserved each other…”


“Anyhow,” Rhonda said, “Let’s get to the challenge. It’s time to test these marriages! This challenge is race with all kinds of obstacles. The first couple to complete them all wins!  To start, we have to plan a wedding before we can begin it.”

Rhonda pointed to her left. “One member from each pair has to race down their to find your wedding rings. While the other pair has to go get your wedding presents from your registry!”

“Presents?” Ignacio asked.

Rhonda pointed to the right. “Yup! Some old friends have sent them. To celebrate since they can’t be here. When you finish, comeback here. You’ll have to wait for your partner before you can continue, so it’s all about teamwork today! Now then...go!”

Ignacio, Vance, Melissa, and Tessa raced to the left while Ness, Riley, Kalino and Jasper headed to the right.


Jenny waited at the left, wearing a chef’s hat and apron. In front of her were a collage of various wedding cakes, all at least twelve tiers tall.

“Am I right to assume the rings are hidden in the cakes?” Ignacio asked.

“Nothing like hiding a choking hazard in your deserts,” Jenny teased. “No wonder you like baking Melissa.”

“Um...I like baking as an outlet for my feelings,” Melissa said. “I especially love to share feelings through it with-”

“-God you're lame!” Jenny gawked. “Just tear through these cakes and find two rings that match.”

“That’s all?” Tessa asked.

“Yeah...not!” Jenny snickered. “Once you finish searching a cake, you have to an entire piece from it before you can move on.

“Only a piece?” Vance asked, already in between bites of a cake.

Jenny shrugged. “Go crazy. It’s your wedding after all.”


To the right Toby stood behind a counter, likely a station for poker . He was dressed in a tuxedo. A clothesline ran above him, four lists pinned to it. Scattered nearby were all kinds of presents, from several feet tall cylinders to tiny boxes. Each had its own unique wrapping paper.

Riley arrived first at the station. “Sup Tobster. What’s the dealio?”

“Hey Riley,” Toby replied. “Basically, these lists are your different wedding registries. But they don’t list your gifts; they list the eliminated newcomers.”

“Huh?” Riley asked.

“Your goal is to find which presents were chosen by the past newcomers on your list,” Toby explained. “Show them to me. You’re right, you pass and I give you something.”

“I think I’m following,” Riley replied. “I wonder which list has Gris bear…”

Toby shrugged. “We randomly divided them. But there aren’t an even number, so some lists are longer than others. First come, first serve.”

Riley nodded, grabbing a list with only three names. “Weston, Zipporah, Bethany.”


Ignacio tore through a twenty tier cake with his bare hands. “I don’t suppose we have plates, do we?”

Jenny smiled. “Nope! You got hands and a mouth.”

Vance groaned. His face and hands looked ‘bloody’ with frosting. “There ain’t even a ring in this cake.”

“And?” Jenny asked.

“Just keep trying Vance!” Melissa encouraged. “I haven’t found any in three cakes.

Tessa, across from Melissa, nodded and winked.

“Oh dear, is there something in your eye?” Melissa asked.

Tessa almost facepalmed, before realizing the cake on her hand. “No. I just meant good plan.”

“Plan?”

“Yeah,” Tessa whispered. “Throwing the challenge? Brilliant.”

“I really haven’t had any luck,” Melissa admitted. “Why would I throw the challenge?”

“Duh,” Tessa replied. “If you lose, Kalino doesn’t have immunity. Then we can vote him off. So if you aren’t, maybe you should…”

“I couldn’t do that,” Melissa gasped. “It’s unethical!”

“We have to get rid of Kalino soon,” Tessa replied. “I mean, don’t you think he sent Aiden home?”

“I don’t know that,” Melissa admitted. “I...I have my doubts about Kalino. But innocent until proven guilty. I’ll vote him off if we lose but-”

“I don’t have time for this stupid of an argument. If you won’t throw it, then I guess we’ll just have to beat you two. Good luck.”


Kalino was the last to arrive at the poker table. After Toby explained the rules again he gave  away the remaining sheet; Diamonique, Hayden, Lita, Griswold.

“Heh,” Kalino forced a laugh. “Nice to know they don’t hold a grudge. But what would they give?”

Ness undid a ribbon on a box and lifted the top. A swarm of bats flew out and began chasing her. “Ahhhhhh!”

Riley shook a lightweight present. Opening it, she found a magnifying glass. “Sweet! Weston probably left this as an amateur detective!”

Jasper sighed as he emptied another box. “I got a rock.”

He threw it behind him, adding it to a pile of rocks forming.


“I’ve got one!”

Melissa cheered as she held up a heart shaped ring from the pink wedding cake she was searching.

Ignacio shook his head. “I haven’t found one. I thought starting with the smaller cakes would be a great strategy, but…”

“Too bad you don’t have x-ray vision Ignacio,” Jenny teased.

Ignacio looked at her, only for his eyes to grow wide. “Wait...those x-ray glasses? You mean they’re…”

“An actual advantage, duh!” Jenny replied.

Ignacio wiped his hands on his jacket as best he could and reached into his pockets. “I think I left it in here...found it.”

Ignacio put on the x-ray spectacles. Using a dial on the side he adjusted them.

“I feel like I’m blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other one,” Vance sighed. “I didn’t even find no gold baby or nothin’.”

“Gold baby?” Tessa asked.

“You know, the little baby they hide in cakes,” Vance replied.

“I believe that’s only a Mardi Gras tradition dear,” Melissa said. “I don’t think they do that in wedding cakes.”

Ignacio punched his hand through a gold cake, decorated with the figures of a king and queen getting married. He pulled out a small golden baby figurine. “Uhh…”


Ignacio raised the spectacles on his forehead. His palm was closed, but held out. “I found more than just an engagement ring in the cake.”

He opened his palm to reveal the golden baby...and slid the head off the baby’ bead, revealing it to actually be a flash drive. “I found a hidden immunity flash drive! I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was secretly ecstatic at first...till I found the note inside.”

From inside the baby figure’s body, he pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it. “Congratulations, at finding our secret flash drive for this special challenge. At New Orleans, whoever finds the baby hidden in a King cake is said to have good luck and prosperity. But prosperity comes at a cost. This flash drive has no powers currently.  To mature this advantage and turn it into a real immunity flash drive...you must throw today’s challenge. Doing so you’ll gain immunity, at the cost of your partner. Have a blessed day.”

Ignacio sighed and buried his head in his hand. “It would be foolish to waste this advantage. But I don’t want to hurt Ness. I...I really like her. But I’ve already saved her twice, haven’t I? I can’t throw away my game for her...I hope she understands.”

He grabbed the x-ray specs from his hand and snapped them in half.


Riley ran up to the counter and dropped everything in her arms. “Let’s see, we got a Harlem Globetrotters’ headband, a magnifying glass, and a book that’s labeled poetry but is actually just the phone book. Bethany, Weston, and ZZ Zipporah. Bang!”

Toby nodded and handed her a key.

“Sweet!” Riley cheered. “Thanks Bromer Simpson!”

Japer emptied another box, and almost dropped a chainsaw on his feet. “Whelp, I found Cynthia…”

Ness compared two sets of sneakers in her hands. “I know one of these are Easton’s brand...but which ones was it?”

Kalino rummaged around, pulling out a $100 Taco Bell gift card. “Classic Diamonique. Now what else we got…”


Ignacio slowly ate his piece of cake. Tessa compared two rings and groaned. She slide them on her fingers, gathering as many as she could. Vance lied on the ground holding his stomach.

“I haven’t had this bad digestion since Baked Beangate 2014,” Vance whined.

“Info I didn’t need or want,” Tessa replied.

“Come on,” Jenny yawned. “Can’t somebody-”

“-I have it!”

Melissa cheered, holding up another pink heart ring over a destroyed goth wedding cake. She ran over to Jenny, presenting her loot.

Jenny eyeballed them. “Yup, that’s a match. Even the gemstones are near identical. I’d bet the jeweler’s degree I printed out online on it!”

Melissa squealed and ran off, ignoring Tessa’s eyeroll.


Jasper opened a box and was rewarded with a pie in the face. “Ooh, blueberry.”

“That’s probably Frannie’s,” Kalino stated. “Blueberry was her favorite pie flavor.”

Ness dropped off a pocket U.S. Constitution, a pair of running sneakers and a set of tarot cards. “Did I get it right?”

Toby shrugged. “Probably. Here, take a key.”

Ness beamed. She almost tripped as she ran off.

“I guess it’s just me and you Kalino,” Jasper sighed. “...Kalino?”

Kalino took his key from Toby while presenting him the gift card, a mounted fish, a boxing glove and a teddy bear. Jasper facepalmed.


Kalino strolled up to the stage, where only Melissa, Riley, and Ness waited. Rhonda stood there as well.

“You did it Kalino!” Melissa cheered.

“Congrats you crazy kids,” Rhonda replied. “You're almost ready to get married. But you need to look the part first! Come up to the lobby with me…”


A short bit later, Melissa and Kalino found themselves in front of an obstacle course. At the other end were locked cases containing a tuxedo and a wedding dress.

“We’re not sure this relationship is really worthy of marriage,” Rhonda said. “So we’re going to test it with our divorce obstacle course!”

The two cringed as they examined the course; there was scattered mousetraps, broomsticks, tied knots to snare traps, split garbage, swinging boulders, chained angry puppies, and more.

“Furthermore, love is blind,” Rhonda explained. “So one person in the couple will do the course blind, while the other will act as a caller and give directions.”

“I’ll do the course,” Kalino stated.

“Are you sure?” Melissa asked.

Kalino shrugged. “It’s like the chivalrous thing to do. Plus, I know I’m not your first choice for this kind of challenge. I feel a little bad you’re stuck with me.”

“Oh nonsense,” Melissa replied. “I’m more than happy we’re together. So let’s do our best!”


Ignacio jogged towards the stage, where Jasper now joined the others waiting. “Oh, you’ve already finished Ness. That’s...wonderful.”

“I know!” Ness cheered while jumping. “We’re still in this!”

Ness grabbed Ignacio by the hand and dragged him off. Tessa came panting as she ran up. “I have...the rings! And hey, we’re not dead last.”

She held out her hand for a high five, but Jasper turned away. “Come on, we gotta make up for lost time.”

Tessa raised an eyebrow, but followed. She waved bye to Riley, who had taken to sitting on the stage as she waited.


At the course, Kalino wore a large wedding veil over his face, completing obscuring his vision. He was going through at an extremely slow rate.

“That’s it!” Melissa encouraged. “Just keep going your natural pace! You’re doing great sweetie.”

Kalino shot up a thumbs-up. “Thankssssssss.”

“We’ve still got a chance Ignacio,” Ness cheered.

“I don’t know,” Ignacio stated. “It looks hazardous. Perhaps we should just stop while you’re ahead.”

Ness giggled. “Good one. But it’s nothing worse than a normal challenge. I’m just glad we were a team. It’s like we’re the Fizzled Fireworks again!”

Ignacio forced a smile. “Yup, I feel the same way. Super glad. Me and you…”

Ignacio took the wedding veil and lowered it over his face. “Given the course, it’s probably best if I do it. But I hope it’s okay if I do go a slow pace, just so I don’t hurt myself, y’know.”

“Whatever you think is best,” Ness replied. “I trust you Iggy.”


Ignacio banged his head against the wall. “Lying to Ness is more painful than anything in this course.”


Tessa and Jasper followed.

“Alright,” Tessa said. “I’ll call, you run.”

“Um, why?” Jasper asked.

“My voice is naturally louder,” the Olympian replied. “Plus, you probably won’t even be noticed by the dogs in the course.”

Jasper glared at her. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable with you giving me orders in this challenge.”

“What?” Tessa asked.

“In fact, I know I don’t feel comfortable with it,” Jasper replied. “So I’ll call and you try to be invisible.”

“Fine, fine, we don’t have time to waste arguing…”

“Shocking coming from you,” Jasper mumbled.

“You’re going to have to speak up for me to hear you!” Tessa shouted, marching forward with the veil on her face. “Okay? Jasper? Jasper? Jasper? Jasp-ahhhhhh!”

“Watch out for the snare trap,” Jasper said. “Loud enough for you?”

Tessa spun in place upside down. “Perfect, thanks.”


“I’m coming!”

“Zzzzz...huh?”

Riley rubbed her eyes as she saw Vance running up to her. She yawned, standing up and stretching. “I was getting worried about you Vance the Kid...before I took a nap. Well, where are the rings?”

“Well, I uh...I went through all the cakes and didn’t find-”

Suddenly, Vance started to cough violently. He hacked up two matching silver rings. “Uh, right here!”

“How charming,” Riley sighed. “Alright dude, let’s get back in this thing!”


“You wait here,” Vance said, throwing the veil over his face. “I’ll use my tracking skills to find our outfits!”

“Tracking skills?” Riley asked. “Dude, I thought you admitted you weren’t a-”

“-I have,” Vance replied. “But I have been practicing them, learning them with the books in the library. Just relax, I’ll be faster than Scat Tom’s tail in the gravy.”

Vance ran forward and immediately walked into a broom. Riley facepalmed.

“You’ve got it Iggy!” Ness yelled.

Ignacio removed his veil to see he was touching a wardrobe with the outfits locked away. He looked around to see Kalino still moving slowly, Vance walking into brooms, and Tessa trying to remove a mousetrap from her ponytail.

“How?” Ignacio asked.

He opened the wardrobe, removing a wedding dress with a long trail and a white tuxedo.

“And Ignacio and Ness take the lead,” Rhonda announced. “Now go get changed. A ride outside will be waiting to take you to your next destination.”

Ignacio high-fived Ness, ignoring a look from Rhonda. “I promise I won’t take long Iggy! I knew we were gonna win!”

“Yeah…”

“Go to the left Vance!” Riley yelled.

Vance walked right, falling into a trashcan.

“Do you not know your left from your right?” Riley asked.

“I was just testing you!” Vance yelled. “Now leave this to me!”

Vance jumped up and stampeded forward. He didn’t stop as he stepped through mousetraps, or barely missed boulders, or walked into more brooms. He didn’t stop until he walked face first into the wardrobe.

“And Vance has found it!” Rhonda stated. “He just has to unlock it...whenever he regains consciousness.”


“I was worried about working with Vance,” Riley admitted. “His challenge record is...well, sometimes he comes above dead last. But now that I’m working with him, I realize I was completely right to be worried. In fact, maybe I should have been more worried…”


Ignacio walked out, struggling to fix his tie. “Hopefully, this will take a few minutes.”

“I’m ready!”

Ignacio turned and gasped as he saw Ness approached. She dressed elegantly, in the lacy dress. She even had a bouquet of white roses to match roses that decorated her veil. She walked forward slowly...only to trip on the trail of it and fall on her face. “I’m okay!”

Ignacio ran and helped her up. “Ness you look...amazing. I mean not that you don’t always look amazing...I mean…”

Ness blushed. “Um, thanks. You look nice too.”

The two stood there blushing and avoiding eye contact.

“So…” Rhonda said. “You guys going to stand there or…”

“The challenge!” Ness yelled. “Come on Ignacio, we have a lead to keep!”

Ness tried to run out of the door, only to fall on her face again.


“Got it,” Kalino replied, as he lunged a chest. He removed his veil and pulled a light blue tuxedo and bow tie and a bedazzled wedding dress with lots of jewelry.

“They look gorgeous!” Melissa exclaimed. “I wouldn’t want so much jewelry on my real wedding dress but…”

“Less talking, more changing!” Kalino yelled, throwing the dress on her head.


Ignacio and Ness ran outside. There were four taxis waiting on them, each saying ‘Soon Married’ on the back and tin cans tied with strings to them. They ran into the first taxi and sped off.

“Phew,” Ness sighed. “For a second I thought Melissa and Kalino would gain on our lead.”

“Yeah, that would’ve been a shame,” Ignacio sighed.

Ness smiled at him and grabbed his tie. “Hear, let me get that for you. You know, I was kind of hoping we’d get paired together for the challenge.”

“Really?” Ignacio asked.

“I mean not like that,” Ness said. “I wouldn’t want us to get married for real or anything like that. I just thought it’d be fun to work with you and knew you’d be a good partner. I’m not sure if I was as good…”

“You were the only one I wanted to work with,” Ignacio stated.

Ness blushed and looked away. “You’re too sweet sometimes Iggy. You know, I know you didn’t vote for me with the other boys. Thanks.”

“Of course,” Ignacio replied. “I could never vote for you.”

Ness sighed. “Well...maybe you should.”

“Huh?” Ignacio asked.

“I mean now the guys might try to throw you under the bus,” Ness stated. “Vance has been talking to Melissa a lot.”

“He has?” Ignacio asked.

“Me and her decided to start sharing a room now,” Ness admitted. “So we’d both be a little less lonely. I just don’t want you to regret it.”

“If I voted you off then you wouldn’t be here,” Ignacio replied. “We wouldn’t be partners for this challenge. I have no regrets. Ness, I promise I will never vote you off.”

Ness glared and punched his arm. “No!”

“Huh?” Ignacio asked.

“Don’t promise me that,” Ness stated. “Pascal promised me the same thing, and look how that turned out.”

“I wouldn’t never do that,” Ignacio stated. “I care about you more than that clown. Ness, I-”

“-I don’t want you to throw away this game for me,” Ness said. “If you think voting me off is best, I want you to do it for you. If you want to make me a promise, promise you’ll do whatever it takes to win.”

Ignacio sighed and shifted, looking out his window.


Melissa and Kalino were also departing in their own taxi.

“Sorry that took so long,” Kalino replied.

“It’s not a problem,” Melissa said. “Like I said Kalino, I’m not upset you’re my partner.”

“I just know I’m not marriage material, y’know?” Kalino asked.

Melissa put her hand on his shoulder. “Who said that? You are a sweet and a fun person Kalino. You need to have a little more self-confidence in yourself. Don’t let others get to you...even if it’s family.”

Kalino chuckled. “Nah, it’s not like that. I just don’t see myself as the marriage type is all. And trust me, I don’t care what my family thinks.”

“I did see your sister at the loved ones challenge,” Melissa said. “I heard what she said. I can’t imagine it’s easy growing up in a household like that.”

Kalino shrugged. “I don’t know mannnn. I usually feel fine. I admit...kind of worried about my future. But I guess that’s what this show is for, right?”

“What are you going to do after the show?” Melissa asked.

“If I win?” Kalino asked. “I don’t know, buy a house, a boat...an island? Or maybe just travel the world?”

“But what else?” Melissa asked. “I mean, you can’t do that forever.”

“Maybe I’ll just join another reality show,” Kalino replied. “Then I’ll win more cheddar.”

“I never thought of you as someone so concerned about money,” Melissa admitted.

“I don’t really care about having a lot of stuff,” Kalino replied. “It’s about the freedom. I mean I could do whatever I want almost. No limits when you’re rich. That’s what I want; to be me and do what I want. Nobody to stop me.”

Melissa shifted. “That does sound nice I guess…”

“Can I ask you something?” Kalino said.

“Of course!” Melissa replied.

“Are you going to throw the challenge?”

“What?” Melissa asked.

Kalino shrugged. “I know you want to vote me off. I know the other girls have formed an alliance and roped you in-”

“-Well...I may have had the idea,” Melissa admitted.

Kalino stared at her for a moment, before bursting into laughter. “Woah. I didn’t see that coming. You got bigger kahunas than people give you credit for Melissa.”

“Um...thanks?” Melissa replied. “I didn’t really plan it and I’m not entirely proud of it, but I had to do what was best for me. But I would never throw a challenge. That’s unsportsmanship like! Especially when I have a partner.”

“Even when it’s a partner all your allies want to vote out?” Kalino asked. “Do you believe all the things Tessa says about me?”

Melissa shook her head. “I know that the others believe you’re a bad guy, but we were on the same team Kalino. I don’t want to believe that.”

“Thanks Mel,” Kalino replied. “It’s like how I don’t believe you're a bad person either, even if you made an alliance and caused Weston to go home. I mean it’s a game; there’s no hard feelings.”

Melissa looked to the ground.


Ignesscio’s taxi slammed on its breaks. The couple got out and found themselves in front of a chapel.

“Of course!” Ness replied. “It is a wedding challenge.”

The two ran towards the steps, but were stopped by a boom barrier. A makeshift toll booth and its pole blocked their path. Toby popped up out of the window.

“You got an invitation?” Toby asked.

“An invitation?” Ignacio asked. “It’s our wedding. She in a bride’s dress. You know, you just saw us!”

“No invitation, no entry,” Toby replied.

“Okay, what’s the challenge?” Ness asked.

“I’ll let you through, if you can answer questions about your beloved,” Toby stated. “But fail my questions, and you’ll have to head back to the Pentagram and get an invitation from Rhonda.”

“We can handle that,” Ness bragged. “We’re like best friends!”

“Alright then,” Toby said. “What is Ignacio’s favorite food?”

“Empanadas!” Ness replied. “His mom’s signature dish.”

“What’s Ness’ favorite food?” Toby asked.

“Clam chowder,” Ignacio replied.

“What does Ness want to do for a career?” Toby asked.

“She wants to be a vet,” Ignacio replied. “She has a love for animals.”

“And what does Ignacio want to do?”

“Work as a science teacher!” Ness replied. “Which is great, cause he’s so smart.”

“What is Ness’ favorite band?” Toby asked.

“One Rejection,” Ignacio answered. “Followed closely by Ten Minutes of Winter. Blainerson Mcmanly is her favorite musician though.”

“I didn’t want a story with it,” Toby replied. “Alright last question; What is Ignacio’s biggest fear?”

Ness smiled. “Well its...it’s...um...well actually...uhh...being naked in public?”

Toby dropped back down the boom barrier. He closed the window of his toll booth.

“Crap!” Ness yelled. “There goes our lead…”


Tessa and Jasper sat in their own taxi. Jasper wore a usual black tuxedo, while Tessa’s wedding dress was feathery and came with white gloves.

“So we’ve had a few setbacks,” Tessa stated. “But this challenge isn’t over yet!”

Jasper shrugged. “Yeah, whatever.”

Tessa glared. “Okay, what is your deal?”

“Huh?” Jasper asked.

“Why do you have a problem with me?” Tessa stated.

“I didn’t say-”

“Not out loud,” Tessa replied. “But you’ve been rude to me this entire challenge. Why?”

Jasper turned to look out the window. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

Tessa pulled on his shoulder. “What is it? Is it voting for Weston? Is it for how I treated Lita before? Because we’re cool now. I know I’m not the most pleasant or likable person, but I’m trying here. I mean, you were probably my first choice for this challenge.”

Jasper rolled his eyes. “You were my last choice.”

“Sorry you're stuck with me,” Tessa sighed. “But we’re a team.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Jasper replied.

“I didn’t know you were capable of sarcasm,” Tessa retorted. “And how would you even know?”

“Because I was on the Fizzled Fireworks with you,” Jasper said. “Remember that?”

“Oh…”

“I don’t want to do this challenge with you because I don’t like you Tessa,” Jasper admitted. “And you know, it might just be because to save your mean self you and Pascal convinced our entire team I was worthless. I was voted off because of you. So thanks for that.”

Tessa facepalmed as Jasper looked away again.


“It’s one step forward, two steps back,” Tessa stated. “Every time I feel like I might not be completely reviled by everyone, something I did rears its head. It’s like past me keeps sabotaging present me. But of course that’s not accurate; it’s not a past or present me. It’s just me and my screw ups.”


Melissa and Kalino arrived at the chapel. Toby opened the tollbooth window. “Have an invitation?”

Kalino pulled a dollar out his pocket. “Yeah, right here…”

“This is Monopoly money,” Toby stated.

“Well the vending machines in the Pentagram take it,” Kalino replied.

“If you don’t have an invitation then you need to prove you're the bride and groom,” Toby replied. “Convince me by showing you know each and answering my questions.”

“Easy peasy!” Melissa replied.

“What’s Kalino’s favorite video game?”

“Mario Kart,” Melissa answered. “Whichever one is for the Gamecube.”

“Alright,” Toby replied. “I’ll take it. What is Melissa’s favorite animal?”

“She doesn’t have favorites,” Kalino replied. “She loves all of them equally for the Earth and junk. Even fleas or tapworms.”

“Gross,” Toby said. “Who does Melissa really love on the show?”

“Aiden, duh,” Kalino replied.

“And who does Kalino really love?”

“Well I don’t like to speculate,” Melissa admitted. “But...he and Frannie are close…”

“Were,” Kalino sighed.

“Alright, then what does Melissa want to do if she wins Genesis?”

“Split it among a bunch of charities,” Kalino replied.

“And if Kalino wins?”

“He...doesn’t really know,” Melissa replied. “He...just wants to be free.”

Toby lifted the gate. “Alright, you’re good. Enjoy your wedding kids!”

“Thank you Mr. Toby!” Melissa replied as the two ran up the steps.

Tessa and Jasper ran up to the gate, only to be blocked.

“If you don’t have an invitation you can’t pass,” Toby stated. “Unless you can answer my questions and prove you know one another really well.”

Tessa and Jasper shared a look. “Yeah...that’s not gonna work.”


Riley admired herself, wearing a tuxedo with a flame design. “This suit is rad! I appreciate you letting me take it Vancey, but uh…”

The camera panned to reveal Vance sitting next to her in the taxi, wearing the wedding dress. It was the fluffiest of all the wedding dresses, with frills and ribbons and poofy skirt. But it also had some decolletage on it. It even came with glass heels.

“...you didn’t have to wear the wedding dress.”

“Psh, I don’t care,” Vance replied. “My studdliness can’t be contained in any clothes! Besides, I know you don’t like dresses.”

“I don’t mind dresses,” Riley replied.

“What?!” Vance asked. “You don’t?”

“Nah,” Riley replied. “I don’t wear a lot because you have to sit careful, but I’ve worn them before. My bros bought me a whole thirty dollar dress for prom once, when my tuxedo had too many holes.”

“Oh...well I’m more flattering in this anyway.”

Riley shrugged. “Coolio. But you know, you don’t have to try to impress me.”

“Impress you?” Vance asked. “I can’t help it if you’re naturally impressed. The mustache usually does that.”

Riley shook her head. “I just mean, you don’t have to constantly assert your the best. You don’t have to be the greatest tracker or toughest toughie. And you don’t have to do the challenge alone. I am your partner.”

Vance crossed his arms. “Sorry if I’ve been holding us back. I just...don’t want y’all looking down on me.”

“What?” Riley asked. “Why would we do that?”

“I grew up as poor redneck in a trailer,” Vance stated. “My family was dirt poor. Literally; we couldn’t always afford the water bill to bath.”

“Dude, I’m not rich!” Riley replied. “I mean, I buy my clothes from thrift stores. And while they are the obviously superior shopping place, it is cheap. I’m basically poor too.”

“I never thought about it like that,” Vance replied.

“Who cares if we’re poor?” Riley asked. “I mean I’d love a bunch of money, sure. I want to win it! But at least we’re awesome people.”

“You’re right!” Vance replied. “Alright, I’ll try to work as partners more.”

“Sweet,” Riley said. “And I totally don’t mind switching into the dress if you want.”

“I don’t care,” Vance replied. “Maybe I would’ve when I first joined the show, but now I realize it don’t matter. I’m confident enough in my masculinity to wear a wedding gown.”

Riley opened her mouth, but stopped when she saw another wedding taxi turn around. “Was that another team?”

Vance stuck his head out the window. “It sure was! You think we should follow them.”

“Let’s kick it!” Riley shouted. “Driver, after those newlyweds!”


Kalino and Melissa entered the church until they found the main assembly. At the altar, Jenny stood dressed like a priest.

“Welcome,” Jenny greeted as they approached her. “I’ll be your priest for this ceremony.”

“Since when are you ordained?” Kalino asked.

“Since I printed off a certificate this morning,” Jenny replied. “Now, does anyone have any objections for why these two should not be fake married for TV? Good, then please place your rings on each other...and kiss!”

Melissa’s eyes grew wide. “Oh dear. Really?”

“Yeah,” Jenny replied. “So I hope you brushed your teeth.”

“But I have a boyfriend!” Melissa replied. “This doesn’t feel right…”

“Look, Aiden will know you only did this for a challenge,” Kalino replied. “It’s like two actors kissing. Or sock puppets. No biggie.”

Melissa nodded and closed her eyes. Kalino approached her and landed a peck on her lip.

“Bleh,” Jenny gagged. “Hooray for you, you’re married! Now to make it official and win the challenge, you’ll have to ring the bells in the bell tower.”

Kalino and Melissa high-fived.

“I’m not done!” Jenny yelled. “But while you do it, the bride has to be carried.”

“That all?” Kalino asked. With a grunt, he picked Melissa up bridal-style.

“Oh, there’s more,” Jenny giggled. You’ll just figure it out later.”


Jasper and Tessa sat in their taxi, invitations in their hands. Tessa finally turned to Jasper.

“Look Jasper,” Tessa said, “I’m sorry for eliminating you the first time. It wasn’t fair to you and it shouldn’t have happened.”

“Thanks I guess,” Jasper replied.

Tessa groaned. “I am sorry. And I know you don’t believe that-”

“-I don’t want an apology,” Jasper said. “I don’t want anything. Nothing can make me feel less embarrassed and pathetic than that did.”

“You shouldn’t feel that way,” Tessa replied. “So the Fireworks voted you off first? Guess what, most of them are gone and you’re here!”

“Only because of a twist,” Jasper admitted.

He slumped further in his seat. “I know I shouldn’t even be angry at you. You can’t change it. Even if you hadn’t, I’d probably still be voted off first.”

Tessa shrugged. “I mean...yeah. Probably.”

Jasper glared at her. “Thanks.”

“I could be wrong,” Tessa replied. “I wish I would be, but we all misjudged you. We still might have. But clearly you’re not worthless. I mean, you’ve won the most challenges so far!”

“But Melissa-”

“-Okay, so you’re tied,” Tessa stated. “The point is, you’re not useless. Our team could have used you. More than they could’ve used me. Everyone realizes and regrets that now.”

Jasper rubbed the back of his head. “Thanks…”

“So let’s end this tie and win this challenge!” Tessa stated.

Jasper nodded. “Yeah, together.”


At the chapel, Ignacio and Ness waved their invitations at Toby.

“Alright,” Toby said. “Get going.”

"I still can't believe I didn't know you were afraid of Barney The Dinosaur," Ness stated.

"Please, let's not talk about it," Ignacio shivered.

The two ran forward and found Jenny at the altar.

“Alright,” Ignacio panted. “What’s the challenge now? Bouquet throwing? In-laws wrestling?”

“Oh it’s easy,” Jenny replied. “You two just have to kiss.”

“Kiss?” Ignaco asked.

“Yeah,” Jenny replied. “To make it official.”

“Like...with our mouths?” Ignacio asked. “I don’t...I mean I would but-”

“Iggy!”

Ignacio turned to Ness. “Look, I know you don’t want to really kiss me. I feel the same. But it’s just a challenge. We’ll still be friends after. It won’t mean anything.”

“But I want it to mean something,” Ignacio whispered.

Ness closed her eyes. “Just close your eyes and lean forward...I’m ready.”

Ignacio gulped. Slowly, he leaned forward. He closed his eyes and puckered his lips and inches away from her face...his stomach rumbled.

“Ignacio?” Ness asked.

Ignacio opened his mouth...and started vomiting all over Ness and her face.

“I’m so sorry,” Ignacio groaned. “I...I think I ate too much cake...oh god…”

Ness tried to step away but tripped on her dress and fall into more vomit.

“Gross, ” Jenny groaned. “But still better than kissing…”


Kalino started carrying Melissa up a set of steps. “Okay, this...is a litttttle hard…”

“You’re doing great,” Melissa replied. We’re almost to the top! Today wasn’t how I pictured my dream wedding...but it was still marvelous. I just wish Aiden could’ve been my partner. No offense.”

“None taken,” Kalino replied. “He should be here. Too bad he was too snoopy to stay.”

“What?”

“I just meant it sucks we voted him off,” Kalino replied. “But I know you don’t hold a grudge…”

“Yes, but too snoopy?” Melissa asked. “You and the other Eagles told Cynthia and I that Aiden was voted off for not helping in the challenge.”

“It was a lot of reasons,” Kalino admitted.

“You’re the reason Aiden went home, aren’t you?” Melissa asked.

“I voted for him but-”

“-But it was your idea,” Melissa said. “And you convinced the others to do it, didn’t you?”

Kalino shrugged. “I can’t remember it.”

“I knew it,” Melissa stated. “I was trying to pretend like it wasn’t possible, but you sent Aiden home! Who else did eliminate? Diamonique? Hayden? Griswold? Lita? ...Frannie?”

Kalino kicked open the door in front of them. “Does it matter? They’re not here anymore.”

“So you’re not denying it,” Melissa replied. “You pretend to be some chill nice guy, a friend...but you’re a liar and a backstabber!”

“It’s called playing the game,” Kalino replied. “There aren’t supposed to be hard feelings.”

“Of course there are,” Melissa said. “This isn’t Yahtzee.”

“Then I guess Weston should be hurt by you,” Kalino replied. “I mean isn’t your alliance the same thing?”

“No,” Melissa replied. “It’s-”

“-You can’t throw stones from your glass high horse,” Kalino said. “Or whatever the metaphor is. You’re not better than me Melissa. You’re just as guilty.”

“I didn’t lie to anyone,” Melissa admitted. “But you’ve lied to just everyone. You’ve been using me, Weston, Xidorn...Vance. Is anyone really your friend?”

Kalino walked out to an enclosure. There were high wire balance beams hundreds of feet in the air. On the other side was the bell tower. Below them was a net. Slowly, Kalino stepped onto the high wire, inching out with Melissa in his arms.

“How?” Melissa asked. “How did you do it?”

“It was pretty easy,” Kalino admitted. “People underestimated me; people usually do. And people always kind of will. So I realized along time ago that I don’t need to work harder, just smarter.”

“By smarter you mean using everyone?” Melissa asked. “Are you okay with that? Is that really worth it for ‘freedom’?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Kalino replied. “I’ve already done it, so why stop now? Winning this show is the only thing that can make it worth it.”

“And what if I stop you?” Melissa asked.

Kalino chuckled. “You’re a stronger competitor than you look Melissa, but you’re too much of a sweetheart. Sorry you’re upset, I really am. But the only thing that changes, is that I’ll just vote you off sooner.”

Melissa growled. “You know, you are pretty smart Kalino. Maybe the smartest person here. But you know what your flaw is? You’re lazy. Too lazy to plan or pay attention. And you’ve underestimated me for the last time. I maybe nice. But I’m not stupid. I’m not fragile. I’m not spineless. And I’m not letting you win! I promise you that!”

“And what are you going to do about it?” Kalino asked.

“This...tickle, tickle, tickle!”

Melissa began tickling Kalino under his armpits and he began laughing and squirming. He dropped Melissa. The sweetheart tackled Kalino at his legs, sending them both falling off the high wire and plummeting to the ground.

“Ahhhhh!”

They fall on the net. Melissa sat on top of her prisoner, while holding his leg back.

“I’m giving you a timeout,” Melissa stated. “And no dessert tonight either.”

“Now that’s just inhumane,” Kalino sighed.


Tessa, Jasper, Vance and Riley ran up into the altar, where interns mopped the floor.

“Ew,” Tessa gagged. “Why does it smell so terrible in here?”

“Because love stinks,” Jenny replied. “Which brings us to your next challenge. You have to kiss the bride.”

The pairs gasped.

“Okay then,” Vance said, throwing up his veil. “Kiss me like one of your French cowboys Riley.”


“Gris, if you’re watching,” Riley stated. “I know you already know this means nothing, but I still feel like the worst. I promise I will super make out with you when this over!”


Riley rolled her eyes, grabbing Vance and then dipping him before planting a kiss on his lips.

“And you’re good,” Jenny stated. “Now you need to ring the wedding bells in the chapel! While carrying your bride.”

“So where are the-!”

Vance ran forward and jumped on Riley’s back. “CARRY ME WENCH!”

“Ouch,” Riley grieved. “Shouldn't you carry me?”

“You didn’t want me to do everything,” Vance replied. “Plus I’m the one in the gown, so I think that makes me the bride. Now, getty up! We got bells to ring.”

Riley started to carry Vance piggyback style.

Tessa turned to Jasper. “So…”

Jasper sighed.

“I get it,” Tessa stated. “I know I’m-”

“It’s not that,” Jasper said. “It’s just...I’ve never actually kissed anyone before. I’ve never even had a girlfriend. I was hoping my first kiss would be special.”

Tessa smiled. “Close your eyes. I’ll make it quick, I promise.”

Jasper nodded and closed his eyes. Tessa leaned forward and gave a peck on his cheek.

“There,” Tessa said. “Just a kiss on the cheek. You can keep saving that first kiss.”

Jasper blushed. “Thanks…”

“And who says that counts?” Jenny asked.

“You didn’t say a kiss on the lips,” Tessa replied. “So loophole!”

Tessa jumped into Jasper’s arms. Jenny shrugged as the two raced off.


Ignacio stood outside of a bathroom door, dabbing his clothes with a wet paper towel. Ness exited the women’s restroom, doing the same.

“I’m really sorry,” Ignacio said.

Ness shrugged. “It’s okay, it’s not like this was a real wedding. Or my own dress. If I ever did get married I always wanted to wear my mother’s wedding dress. I actually keep it in my closet just for safekeeping.”

Ignacio smiled. “I’m sure it’s wonderful.”

“Yeah,” Ness replied. “I wish she could’ve seen me in it.”

“Oh,” Ignacio said, “I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine,” Ness replied. “She died delivering me so it’s not like I knew her.”

“If I get married I’d like the ceremony to be in Chile,” Ignacio stated. “I could visit relatives I’ve never met there, take my mother home to visit her relatives.”

“That’s really sweet,” Ness replied. “I mean we’re not planning on getting married soon anytime. I need to find a boyfriend first.”

“You’ll find one,” Ignacio said. “You’re too sweet and cute not to have one.”

Ness blushed. “You too! I mean, not a boyfriend. But a girlfriend who respects you and cares about what you want.”

Ignacio smiled. “Actually I-”

“Of course I don’t want a boyfriend right now I think,” Ness admitted.

“Really?” Ignacio asked.

Ness nodded. “Just seeing how upset Lita has been and sad everyone’s been when they lose their boyfriend or girlfriend makes me kind of want to wait before I start dating.”

“That makes sense,” Ignacio admitted.

“But if the right guy came along I might change my mind,” Ness replied.

Ignacio smiled...till his stomach started growling again. He ran back to the bathroom leaving Ness to laugh to herself.


Jasper and Tessa ran neck and neck with Riley and Vance up the stairs.

“Where is Melissa and Kalino?” Vance asked.

“Maybe they got lost,” Jasper said. “It’s still anyone’s game.”

“Fat chance partner!” Vance replied. “This challenge is ours! Ride like the wind Riley!”

Vance tapped Riley with his glass slippers as the bro cringed. “Worst challenge yet.”

“I don’t know,” Tessa replied. “I’m enjoying it, especially the part where we win!”

Riley sighed, falling to the ground. Vance yelped as he fell off her back and started tumbling down the stairs.

Jasper and Tessa high-fived as they ran through the door and came to the tightrope.

“Uhh,” Jasper said. “I’m not sure about this.”

“You’ve got this,” Tessa said. “It’s all about keeping your center of gravity and finding your balance. Trust me, I’m a gymnast.”

Jasper took a deep breath and stepped out onto the wire. He moved at an average pace and made it across in time. Above them hung a giant rope. Together they grabbed it and rang the bell. It echoed all around the church.

From behind them, doves flew from the chapel and into the sky. Rice started to rain all around them.

“We did it!” Jasper cheered. “Yes!”

“Woo!” Tessa said. “We ended up making a great pair.”

“Yeah, we did,” Jasper said. “You’re actually really nice Tessa.”

“Thanks,” Tessa replied. “You’re pretty cool.”

You know, maybe we could be friends,” Jasper said.

“Are you kidding?” Tessa asked.

“Oh.”

“Of course!” Tessa replied.

“Oh,” Jasper said. “Awesome.”


In the Pentagram, the newcomers had changed out of their wedding outfits and stood around Rhonda.

“Mazel tov again to Tessper,” Rhonda said. “I was rooting for ya. As today’s challenge winners you have invincibility tonight and will share the luxury suite with each other. But you also win today’s special reward! Your honeymoon trip to anyone of the network’s hotels!”

“We won a honeymoon?” Jasper asked.

“Let’s go somewhere exotic,” Tessa said. “Like to Hawaii or Brazil!”

“Yes,” Rhonda said. “A honeymoon to any one of the network’s hotels...in Washington, D.C.”

Tessa and Jasper glared at the hostess.

“For the rest of you, I’ve got nothing but heartbreak,” Rhonda said. “Because you will be voting someone off tonight. See you then!”


Melissa chopped carrots in the kitchen, humming to herself. Vance strolled in.

“So,” Vance said, “Any more thoughts on what we discussed the other day?”

“I’m not voting Ignacio off tonight,” Melissa stated. “There is someone else who needs to go home.”

“Do what you have to do,” Vance replied. “But just know, he’s voting for you. And he’s not the only one…”

“Kalino too?”

Vance nodded. “I don’t know what happened today. But I’m not voting for either of you.”

“I wouldn’t ask you too,” Melissa replied. “Thank you for the warning Vance. And...I think I need to pass a warning on to you.”

“Huh?” Vance asked.

“The other girls aren’t sure if we should vote for Kalino,” Melissa admitted. “They’re worried if he has a flash drive, he’ll use it. So they’re debating about splitting the vote or changing it entirely. Your name has come up.”

Vance tipped his hat at her. “I appreciate the tip. I hope I’m talking to you in the kitchen tomorrow morning.”

“Me too,” Melissa replied.

Vance exited as Melissa returned to her cooking.

“Hey Melissa.”

Melissa looked up to see Kalino standing there. He was eating one of her cupcakes.

“I admit it, you got me today,” Kalino said. “But if you thought that was smart, you’re so wrong. Whoever goes home tonight is on your head.”

Kalino waved and strolled out.


Everyone gathered in the Haunted Internet Cafe, trying to give one another a look without saying anything.

Melissa nodded at Vance, then glared at Kalino, while Kalino smirked at her and then winked at Jasper.

Jasper shrugged at anyone who looked at him, while Riley and Tessa whispered amongst themselves and pointed at Vance.

Vance spat in Ignacio’s direction, but Ignacio was too distracted giving worried glances to Ness, who gave her own to him when he wasn’t looking.

“Based on all that’s going on with y’all, I’m guessing something is happening tonight,” Rhonda stated. “The wedding is over, and it’s about to feel like a funeral for one of you. So let’s get voting.”


Melissa clicked on Kalino’s face. “I should have done this a lot sooner. Everyone said you were a rat Kalino...and I guess they were right. I still feel bad for you in a way, but I think you know deep down you need to go home. I’m not letting you win this show...”


“And the votes are in,” Rhonda stated, looking over the results. Jenny carried out a tray of eight coffee cups. “Tonight’s flavor is nutmeg espresso made with rice milk creamer. Whoever does not get a cup must exit through the Revolving Doors of Shame and take the Bus of Losers out of here. It means the game is over for you and there aren’t any more chances. You’ve lost.”

Rhonda tossed two cups to Jasper and Tessa. They clinked them. “Our first cups are for our winners of course!”

“Also safe is Vance...and Ignacio.”

Vance groaned but caught his cup. Ignacio raised an eyebrow. Ness smiled and put her hand on Ignacio’s shoulder.

“And Ness.”

Now Ignacio smiled as he caught her cup and gave it to the jinx.

“Then we have Riley...”

Riley sighed in relief.

“And then...Kalino.”

Melissa tried to contain her gasp. The slacker caught his cup and sipped it loudly.


Kalino inserted his black floppy disk into the machine. “It’s so cute that Melissa thinks she can vote me off. But the sad part is, she’s not even going to vote for me herself. Thanks to my steal a vote advantage, she’s going to send herself home.”

Kalino snickered as he clicked Melissa’s face. He clicked it a second time for his vote. Then, he pulled out his golden immunity flash drive and plugged it in. “And this is just incase you sick your alliance on me...Sorry Melissa. You were a good teammate and a good player...but not a good enough one…”


“And so the final cup of coffee goes to…”



































































“...Melissa.”

Melissa sighed as she caught her cup. She smirked at Kalino, who raised an eyebrow. “Wait...whatttttt?”

Melissa winked. “You’re not the only one with a trick up your sleeve.”


“...which is why I’m using my flash drive tonight,” Melissa continued in her voting confessional. “I know you're targeting me Kalino; like I said I’m not dumb. If you somehow slink by tonight, then I’l be here to take you out next time...”


Rhonda looked over the results. “Umm…”

The newcomers looked around at each other, each sipping their own cup of coffee.

Jasper scratched his head. “So...who is going home?”

Rhonda stared at them. “One, two, three, four...Jenny?”

“Huh?” Jenny asked.

“Why did you give me eight cups of coffee?” Rhonda asked.

“Because Toby gave me eight,” Jenny replied.

“Toby...why did you give her eight cups of coffee?”

“Because the results said to,” Toby answered.

“Why would I need eight cups of coffee...at the FINAL EIGHT!” Rhonda screamed.

“Maybe there was a glitch in the machine,” Toby replied. “I’m just telling you, the results said we needed eight cups of coffee because eight people were safe.”

How?” Rhonda asked. “That’s...wait a minute…”


“Ignacio could have won today,” Ness sighed. “But my bad luck jinxed us both! I know Vance is going to target Iggy, but I won’t let him go home thanks to me.”

From her pocket, Ness pulled out an immunity flash drive. “If he can’t have invincibility, I can at least give him immunity.”


Ignacio held up a note and read it. “Congratulations. You threw the challenge for you and your partner. Your immunity flash drive has been activated.”

Ignacio crumpled up the paper and tossed it away. “Great. Ness was depending on me and I threw her under the bus. What if the guys decide to target her again? I don’t deserve this flash drive.”

Ignacio pulled out the golden baby from his pocket and shoved it the monitor. “At least I can make it worth something. I can give Ness the immunity she should have had.”


Riley held her immunity flash drive. “This vote is freaky. Everyone has flash drive fears! Will Kalino use it? Will they vote for Melissa? Will they vote for us cause they fear a flash drive? I mean I could be getting the votes! And I’m thinking... I can only use this thing now or the next ceremony. So, what the heck?”


“I trust Melissa,” Vance replied. “And if she thinks I might be the target now, then I should be more scared than a turtle in a wash bin.”

Vance lifted his hat...and pulled out a flash drive. “I was trying to use the commode the other day, and it was still clogged. So I took a plunger out of the closet to save the day again. But then... I struck gold! And my gut tells me I need to use this little guy…”


“Oh my god!” Rhonda cried.

“Did you figure it out already?” Tessa asked.

Rhonda slammed her laptop shut. “According to this, all of you are immune from the votes!”

“What?” everyone asked.

“How can everyone be immune?” Tessa asked. “Only Jasper and I actually won invincibility.”

Riley forced a laugh. “Well, I did win an immunity flash drive that I used tonight…”

“I also had one,” Melissa admitted.

“Same,” Kalino added.

“I found one instead of a turd,” Vance explained. “So I used it.”

“You mean Vance of all people figured it out before us?” Tessa sighed.

“But I didn’t use my flash drive on myself,” Ness replied. “I used it on Ignacio…”

“And I used mine I you,” Ignacio admitted.

The two looked at each other and blushed.

“So if none of us could get votes, then the results thought we all should get cups,” Jasper said.

“Trippy,” Riley said. “So does that mean no one goes home?”

“Of course not,” Rhonda replied. “We have a schedule to keep.”

“What happens now?” Kalino asked.

“I...have no idea,” Rhonda said. “This isn’t supposed to happen…”

“Well it did,” Tessa complained. “I mean, didn’t you think six flashdrives was a bit much?”

Rhonda pulled out a large rulebook. “Everybody just be quiet! I’m sure I made some kind of rule in case of this…”

She flipped through the giant book, before finally stopping at a page. “Let’s see, ‘if all votes are cancelled out then the contestants must all revote for someone who is not immune. If it happens that all contestants are immune, then this is to be treated like a tie. The preselected tiebreaker should be used unless it was a revote…”

“What if the tiebreaker is a revote?” Ness asked.

“Then we would use the previous tiebreaker that wasn’t a revote,” Rhonda replied. “But it wasn’t a revote…”

“So what is the tiebreaker?” Jasper asked.

Rhonda grinned from ear to ear. “Toby, grab their cups and toss one out. I have to go make a few calls…”


The newcomers were forced to sit in silence as they waited. Twenty minutes later, Rhonda returned with a tray of seven cold cups. Toby pushed in a TV screen.

“So what are we doing?” Tessa asked.

You aren’t doing anything,” Rhonda replied. “Your fate has already been decided.”

Rhonda turned on TV Screen and a tape began to play, showing a familiar face.

“Gris?” Riley asked.

“Today’s tiebreaker...was a loser’s vote.”


“There’s only one person I can vote for,” Griswold explained. “Kalino. Even if you hadn’t caused my elimination, you’ve sent my friends home, played dirty at every chance, and lied to basically everyone. How can I not vote you?”


“I think all of the final 8 are great,” Bethany said. “They all have played amazing…except Kalino. There’s a difference between playing hard and being a villain. You should learn it.”


Aiden held a hand over his heart, wiping away a tear. “While it pains me to vote for a former teammate, I have to chose Kalino. This season represents our nation and the winner will represent this season. If Kalino wins what does that tell other countries about us?”


I think a couple of my visions were trying to warn me about you Kalino,” Seraphina recalled. “You don’t need a psychic to tell you who I’m voting for, huh *******?”


A tired Pascal sat in the confessional, with Amanda Picklestein sitting on his lap.

“I-“

“Pascy-Wascy is one-hundred totally voting Kalino,” Mandy stated. “Like ohmygosh, he’s like the bad guy and Pascal wants to redeem himself, soeventhoughtheywereroommatesthatdoesn’tblahblahbla-“


Easton and Weston sat in the confessional together.

“We vote Kalino,” they said in unison.

“I do consider Kalino a friend,” Weston said. “And Easton said he’d vote for someone else if I wanted…but I just don’t think anyone else deserves to go home. Sorry pal.”

Easton patted his brother’s shoulder. Weston smiled and hugged his brother.


“So rumor through the grapevine is that Kalino had the Canadians vote me off,” Lita sighed. “Well, I’ve been making sure to tell everyone here to vote Kalino off. I know I’m not the only one either. Hope the ride was worth it Kalino.”


Zipporah stared at the confessional. “Kalino. You smile too much and your shirts are too colorful. Also, you’re like an asshole or something apparently?”


Diamonique laughed. “Payback is a ***** and so am I. Kalino caused my elimination twice! Well, maybe I kind of caused that second one…but I still hate him. I want revenge. In fact, can I vote for Kalino twice?”


“To be honest, Kalino was a good friend to me in the game,” Xidorn admitted. “But he also told massive lies. He didn’t even have to tell some of them! As a member of the Peanut Gallery of Losers, it’s my duty to vote for him.”


“I honestly feel bad for Kalino,” Hayden stated. “Not bad enough not to vote for him, but he clearly has issues with authority because of his strained relationship with his father, a complex about success, self-destructive tendencies…”


Cynthia stared at the camera with her unblinking eyes. “Kalino.”


Frannie sat in the confessional quietly. She said nothing for a moment, before shaking her head. “So the shoe’s on the other foot now, huh? I know who I should vote for. I should get my revenge and rub it in their face. I should deliver some ironic justice. But still, after all this time...I just can’t vote for Kalino. I know it won’t a make difference. But it won’t make me happy. I guess I just vote for Vance or something…”


Kalino sat there staring at the screen. He said nothing. Around him, everyone else had gotten their coffee cups.

Tessa was struggling to contain her laughter. “Okay...can we watch that again?”

“The votes have spoken,” Rhonda said. “It’s over for you Kalino.”

Everyone stared at the slacker. He shrugged. “Oh well.”

“What?” Tessa asked.

“That’s it?” Riley asked. “I was expecting a bit more…”

“What can you do?” Kalino asked.

“But you were defeated,” Melissa stated. “And so close to the end. Aren’t you even a little upset?”

“I do feel bad that it was all for nothing,” Kalino admitted. “But it sounds like I probably wouldn’t have won if I made it to the end anyway. I don’t have any hard feelings. You guys got me. Congrats.”

Everyone shared a look.


Kalino stared at the confessional screen and shrugged. “Well, this is the last time you’ll see me in here. I admit I regret some things I did here...but I know when I did them I might lose. I’m not really sure if I ever thought I could win really. I just did what I always do...try to get by. I guess I was always meant to fail. Maybe everyone was right about that. Sorry dudes.”


Kalino stood in front of the Revolving Doors of Shame.

“Wait, don’t you want to say one last thing?” Rhonda asked. “I mean, don’t you want to tell everyone your final words before you leave?”

Kalino nodded. “Good luck. You guys are awesome.”

With that, he left. Everyone sat in silence for a moment.

“Well, I think we all learned a valuable lesson today,” Rhonda said.

“What’s that?” Jasper asked.

“Advantages suck and we’re never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, using them again. EVER.”

Chapter 22 Fantasy Feud[]

All the newcomers had gathered for lunch. Melissa sang as she made grilled cheeses, the sandwich bread cut into smiling faces.

“One you’ll have sadness, two you’ll have joy, three get a present, four get a boy, five receive silver, six receive gold, seven’s a secret that’s never been told…”

She strolled out, sliding a plate of fixins to another newcomer. Tessa raised her glass and clinked it with Riley. “Ahh, isn’t this wonderful?”

“Today does feel a little different,” Melissa admitted.

“Dudes it feels magical,” Riley sighed.

“It’s because we’ve taken care of the hotel’s rat problem,” Tessa laughed.

“The hotel had rats?” Jasper asked.

“I surmise she’s referring to Kalino,” Ignacio said.

Tessa raised her glass again before throwing her head back and chugging her juice.

“Do you have to be so smug about it?”

Vance glared at the Olympian from the end of the table.

“I’m not trying to be smug,” Tessa replied. “I just can’t kind hide I’m happy he’s gone. I don’t think it’s wrong to feel that way, he was a snake and a liar.”

“I have to admit I did snicker at few of the losers’ confessionals,” Ness stated.

“It's like a dark cloud has been blown away,” Melissa admitted.

“I get it,” Vance replied. “I’m upset he hurt a bunch of people...but he was still my good buddy! We had fun times. I can’t help missing the little guy.”

Ignacio nodded. “I owe a lot to him actually. He helped me overcome my issues. I didn’t know if he had an ulterior motive, but I don’t believe he did.”

“He was a Molting Eagle,” Melissa replied. “I do feel a little bad voting off an old teammate.”

“Even though he did some pretty rough stuff he had nice moments,” Vance said. “He was my friend.”

The other newcomers sat silent for a few minutes as they started their lunch.


The next day...

Jasper and Tessa exhaled together as they enjoyed a deep tissue massage in the luxury suite.

“Don’t stop until all the knots this show has given me are gone,” Tessa sighed.

“This is heavenly,” Jasper stated. “I’m so glad we won that challenge!”

“Not to mention you’ve officially won the most challenges,” Tessa replied.

Jasper shook his head. “It’s so weird. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“What, set a record?” Tessa asked.

“No, accomplish something,” Jasper said.

Tessa raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“I’m serious,” Jasper admitted. “I don’t know if I’ve ever won before this show, except maybe by default. I’m not good at anything.”

“There has to be something you’re good at,” Tessa replied. “I mean, what you do with your free time?”

Jasper shrugged. “I watch TV sometimes, go on walks, study, read articles online. Sometimes I nap.”

“Have you tried doing something new?” Tessa asked.

“Yeah,” Jasper said. “A lot of times actually. But usually I’m just okay or bad at it. And it’s kind of boring doing it alone.”

Tessa rubbed her chin. “Alright, we need to prove you wrong and find something you’re good at and enjoy. But we’re going to need help…”


Meanwhile Ness was walking through the hotel when she heard a screeching noise. She turned and entered the library to see Ignacio with a guitar.

“What'cha doing Iggy?”

“Oh, just practicing guitar,” he replied.

“I didn’t know you played,” Ness said.

“I’ve been teaching myself recently,” Ignacio replied. “I think I have a talent for music.”

He strummed the chords of the guitar, only for all the strings to break. “Well…”

“Be careful,” Ness giggled. “If you learn music you won’t be able to keep the girls away.”

Ignacio blushed. “You don’t say.”

“By the way, I never did say thank you,” Ness stated. “So, thank you for using the flash drive on me.”

“Of course,” Ignacio replied. “It’s like I said, I didn’t get that flash drive under fair circumstances.”

“I mean it is a gameplay element,” Ness said. “You earned it. You shouldn’t waste it-”

“-It wasn’t a waste,” Ignacio corrected. “And you can’t give me grief for it; you did the same thing.”

“Okay, okay,” Ness admitted. “I guess you’re right.”

“I promise I won’t throw my game away,” Ignacio stated. “But you have to promise the same. And you need to stop believing you’re giving us bad luck.”

“”I am bad luck though!” Ness argued. “I mean five chandeliers have already fallen on me today. And this hotel only has three.”

“Alright, maybe bad things happen to you,” Ignacio said. “But you’re not a bad thing to other people. I mean you’ve brought a lot of goodness to me, Lita, Seraphina...I think I’m lucky that I got to meet you.”

Ness sniffled a little bit and blushed. “Ignacio…”

“Listen, Ness I have to tell you that-”

Suddenly a chandelier fell through the roof and landed on Ness, knocking her out cold.

“It's not important.”


Tessa and Jasper strolled into the kitchen, where Melissa was washing dishes.

“Hey Melissa,” Tessa said. “Do you think you could give us a hand?”

“Oh I’d love to,” Melissa replied. “How can I help?”

“Jasper doesn’t believe he has a talent because he’s a sourpuss,” Tessa teased.

“I’m just not unique or special,” Jasper admitted.

Melissa giggled. “Nonsense! I personally believe that everyone has something they’re good at. We just have to find your talent and then foster it.”

“It’s fine,” Jasper said. “I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.”

Melissa bopped Jasper’s nose. “Helping someone is never a waste of time. We’ll find out what you’re good at; how hard can it be?”


Thirteen hours later, Melissa, Tessa and Jasper were suffocating under a pile of stuff, their eyes bloodshot.

“It can be pretty hard,” Jasper mumbled.

“No, we found something didn’t we?” Melissa asked. “We…we had to…what about baseball? How many balls did you hit in the batting cage?”

“Five,” Jasper replied.

“And what’s the average?”

“Five,” Jasper replied.

Melissa sluggishly pulled herself up, shoving objects away.

“What about board games?” Melissa asked. “You won one, right?”

“I came in second every time,” Jasper admitted. “Same with video games.”

“How was that pizza you made?” Melissa asked.

Tessa took a bite and shrugged. “It’s...okay. It’s pizza.”

“Your ballet performance?” Melissa asked.

“Alright,” Jasper replied. “I fell a fair number of times.”

“Swimming?” Melissa asked.

Tessa read a stopwatch. “He had about average speed.”

Melissa pulled out a bow and some arrows. “Archery is very in. How did that go again?”

“I hit hit three of the six targets,” Jasper replied.

Melissa pulled out a canvas from the pile. “How about we look at your painting again?”

The painting was an average landscape with a sun, some hills and some trees.

“It’s pretty,” Tessa encouraged.

“I guess,” Jasper shrugged.

“Let’s see...what about knitting?”

Jasper held up a beige green scarf of about average length.

“The banjo?”

Jasper strung the chords of, missing a couple notes.

“Didn’t you try juggling?”

Jasper juggled three balls in the air, but couldn’t get a fourth and dropped them all pretty quickly.

“Fishing?”

Jasper reeled in a fishing line, with just a tiny fish at the end.

“Photography?”

Jasper held up some normal looking photos, like anyone could take with a phone.

“Magic?”

Jasper tried to do a card trick but dropped a few cards.

“Bird watching?”

Jasper held up a score card that only showed a few basic birds, like pigeons and crows.

“Gardening?”

Jasper picked up a potted plant with a few small sprouts, though one or two had died.

“What about that mix tape you made? It was popping, right?”

Jasper played the tape, which had some generic electronic beats. It could have been any pop song on the radio.

“There has to be something we did? River Dancing? Tokastatu Acting? Civil War reenacting? Music ranking? Water polo? Improv comedy? Pedicures? Directing? Corn Shucking? Paper mache? Truffle hunting? Sonnet writing? Equestrian sports? Pennyfarthing…”

Each time Jasper shrugged and revealed he was somewhat okay at it.

Melissa’s hair was completely disheveled as she dug through the pile, tossing aside any kind of object. “No...no...no, there has to be something! Everyone has something! You have a talent, a passion Jasper I promise. We’ll just have to keep looking, and looking, and looking, and looking, and looking…”

“It’s okay Melissa,” Jasper said. “I appreciate you trying. I had fun.”

“I think we could all use some rest,” Tessa sighed. “Let’s all go get some sleep and-”

“-No!” Melissa cried, jumping up. “I’m not giving up on you Jasper! I know you have a talent and we’re going to find it. Even if it kills me!”

“Melissa-“

“KILLS ME!!!” Melissa growled. She sprang up, screaming and foaming at the mouth like a wild animal. She threw Tessa back into the pit of stuff, then lifted up Jasper and threw him over back. She ran down the hall screaming and smashing things.

Tessa facepalmed. “I could’ve just kept getting a massage, but no…”


Minutes later, Tessa ran outside. She passed knocked down street lamps and turned over cars. Around a tall skyscraper, the other newcomers had gathered, along with fire trucks and police cars.

Tessa groaned. “Please don’t tell me-”

“Yup,” Riley replied, pointing up at the building. Melissa was carrying Jasper by her teeth as she scaled the building.

“Why has Melissa cracked?” Ness asked. “Was it the stress of the game?”

“Um...yeah, I think it was,” Tessa said.

“At least she still gave us muffins before going on rampage,” Vance said.

“What muffins?” Ignacio asked.

“Uh...the ones I ate,” Vance replied.

A police captain stood upon his car. Through a megaphone, he yelled, “Attention girl in pink! Please remain calm, we have a tarp ready to catch you! Please just jump down gently and-”

Melissa growled. She tore off a flag pole from the building and launched it like a javelin through the tarp.

The cop sighed. “If we didn’t have enough problems with that rampaging horse now we have a monstrous teenage girl!”

“Anything you want to say about the horse Vance?” Ness whispered.

“Horse?” Vance asked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. What’s a horse? Is it a food?”

Tessa ran forward to the cops. “Officer please, my friend is being dragged up there!”

“Friend?” the cop asked. “Where?”

“He’s in her mouth obviously!” Tessa said.

The officer peered through his binoculars. “What are you...wait! That’s a person? I thought she was just chewing on a soggy piece of cardboard.”

Tessa groaned and shoved the cop aside. She grabbed the megaphone. “Melissa, this is Tessa! I know you want to help Jasper, but this is not helping!”

Melissa crawled to the top of the skyscraper. She howled and beat her chest. Suddenly, a convey with helicopters on it pulled up.

Vance tried to hold on to his hat as the copters lifted off. “What in tarnation is going on?”

“We’re sending in the choppers,” the cop replied. “They’ll take this girl out, one way or another.”

“What?” Ness asked. “She’s not going to get hurt is she?”

“That depends on how she responds to tranquilizer bullets.”

Melissa growled and swatted at the copters as they circled around her.

“Melissa, please calm down,” Jasper said. “This isn’t like you, and not just because it’s given you crazy, angry strength.”

Melissa roared, swinging Jasper back and forth.

Ness covered her eyes. “I think the sun’s about to get real low…”

“Uhhhh…” Melissa groaned as five different tranq darts shot into her. She face-planted on the roof...and dropped Jasper.

“I told you he was about there!” Tessa screamed.

“Oh yeah,” the cop replied. “Forgot about him. Oops.”

Tessa chucked the megaphone.

“Ahhhhhhhh!”

Jasper was falling fast before landing in an open awning. “I’m okay! I’m-”

The awning then fell apart and landed on the concrete. “...Never mind.”

Vance placed his hat over the heart. “It wasn’t the helicopters. It was beauty that killed the beast. That and a bunch of tranquilizers.”

“Why don’t they use the tranqs on that horse?” Ness asked.

“We tried, but we couldn’t hit it,” the cop groaned. “Last time we tried he stole them and used them on us. Kidnapped us and tied us from buildings with bungee cords. God, who or what unleashed this horse!”

The newcomers all shared a look and slowly tiptoed away.


The following day, the final seven were gathered into the lobby. Rhonda and her cohorts were waiting there.

“I’m so sorry about last night,” Melissa said.

“It’s okay,” Jasper stated. “You’ve already apologized five times. I’m not feeling that hurt. How are you feeling, coming off all those tranqs?”

The camera panned out to reveal Ness was pushing Melissa, who was strapped on a board. “I’m feeling dandy! I think I can almost move my toes again.”

“Shhhh,” Toby hushed.

“We’ve got a lot to do for this challenge,” Rhonda stated right away. “So let’s get it to. You’ll need to change into a motion capture suit. Then each of you are going to a separate room in the hotel for today’s challenge.”

“Why are-”

“-NO TIME!” Rhonda shouted. “I’ll explain more over the PA whenever everyone is there in places.”


Minutes later, Jasper walked into the casino den. Near an outlet, there was a red chair. In the middle of the seat was some kind of headset and gloves. Jasper picked it up.

“Woah.”

“Alright everybody,” Rhonda stated over the PA. “Today’s challenge is extra special; it’s virtual reality gaming!”

Riley threw up her hands, already wearing the VR gear in the game room. “Sweet!”

“It’ll be like the movie Ready Player One,” Rhonda continued. “But less terrible. A high tech Japanese gaming company said they were inspired by our a show while developing this game. They’ve given us the chance to play-test the latest in their virtual reality gaming technology!”

Ignacio shrugged as he put on his headset. He sat in the back row of the opera house. “I’m not much a gamer, but a challenge is a challenge. And it is a little exciting.”

“The challenge is simple, win the game,” Rhonda stated. “You should figure out how by playing.”

Tessa crossed her legs on the chair inside the luxury suite. “Anything less vague?”

“This’ll probably take the rest of the day,” Rhonda said. “But there are ways you can stop if you need a break. We also expected to do this at the final six, but because of an unexpected return, it’s a little different. The developers have made it work for seven players, but there might still be a few bugs in it.”

Melissa, still strapped on a board as she was wheeled to the kitchen by Toby, tapped her chin. “Oh dear, I hope they’re friendly bugs.”

“We have a controller you can use till the tranquilizers wear off,” Toby stated, fastening the headset to her and giving her a controller.

“Thank you Mr. Toby,” Melissa replied. “You really are a sweetie deep down, aren’t you?”

Toby groaned and stomped off, though he was blushing slightly.

Ness sat in the TV room or common area. Her gear was on.

“Good luck..”

Ness gulped. “I’ll need it. And then some..."

“...and have fun.”

“Alright!” Vance hooted in the library. “This better be a hog-killin good time.”

“You may now put on the VR headsets; the game starts now.”

The seven newcomers slipped on their headsets. There was a flash…


“Huh?”

Jasper walked around what looked like a tavern. It was filled with strange characters, from knights in armor to muscle bound men with axes strapped to their bare chests. Jasper looked down to realize he was wearing some sort of dark blue uniform, with a black cloak and hood.

“This must be some kind of fantasy roleplaying game,” Jasper said to himself.

He looked around the tavern. Every step he took, an old man from the bar followed him with his eyes. Jasper gulped and kept walking.


“Wake up dear!”

Ness blinked as she found herself standing in a small room. It had nothing more than a bed and a mirror. She walked up to the mirror and raised an eyebrow. She was dressed similar to Jasper, but in a tan and beige variation. She had semi-pointy ears like an elf. She looked down at her feet to see she wasn’t wearing shoes. In fact, her feet seemed more like soles. The tops of her feet were now extremely hair as well.

“Weird,” Ness said, looking over her feet.

“Wake up dear!”

Ness turned and opened the door. She exited to a small room connected to a kitchen. Inside was a short woman that had the same hair color as Ness. She had the same hairy feet too.

“Good morning dear,” the woman greeted. “Now I can’t have you sleep all day.”

“Um...hi?” Ness said.

“I need you to go deliver these goods to the mysterious hermit that lives at the edge of the village.”

Ness raised an eyebrow as the woman handed her a basket of goodies. The goodies disappeared as soon as Ness touched them.

“Ahh! Um, is that suppose to happen?”

“They’re in your rucksack dear,” the woman replied. “You can open it anytime by clapping your hands.”

Ness clapped her hands. The basket floated around her in a circle. “Trippy. So, who are you?”

“Good luck dear!”

The woman turned away and started washing a dish.

“No seriously, who are you?”

“Good luck dear!”

Ness frowned. She shrugged and exited. Outside she could see she was outside of a stone hut in a small village. There were other short creatures tending to small squash gardens or smoking pipes. Nearby was a forest of some kind. A peaceful, pastoral played around her.

Ness walked over and approached a creature. “Another beautiful day in Halfling Village! Who’d ever want to leave?”

“Is that where we are?” Ness asked. “Or, what we are? A halfling?”

The stranger smiled vacantly. “Another beautiful day in Halfling Village! Who’d ever want to leave?”

Ness raised an eyebrow. Above her a message was displayed; QUEST: DELIVER GOODS TO HERMIT.

“Are you seeing that too!”

“Another beautiful day in Halfling Village! Who’d ever want to leave?”


“I don’t play a lot of video games,” Ness admitted. “I bought a couple of consoles before, but they always break when I start them. Once I tried to play arcade games at Cluck E Cheese; it took the first responders a couple hours to put out the fire and pull me from the under arcade cabinet. I just feel a little out of element here.”


Riley was in the middle of stretching, when she found herself in a desert. A slight sandstorm blew.

“Dang,” Riley stated. “This sand looks so realistic, but I don’t even feel it.”

Riley looked around her surroundings; it was just a barren desert.

“I guess that’s all they could bother rendering…”

“Aren’t you coming initiate?”

Riley raised an eyebrow. “Uh, hello? Somebody there?”

“Come on! Come on!”

Riley shrugged and walked towards the voice; as she stepped through the waving sand she found herself suddenly in a city. It was clearly based-off ancient Middle Eastern cities. Riley looked around as she walked through a bazaar. Vendors sold everything from vegetables to weapons. Strangest of all was that everyone were anthropomorphic cats, of different breeds and furs.

“This is the beta version?”

Riley stopped as she looked at a vendor of mirrors and gasped. She was now a grey furred cat-folk, complete with a tail, ears and yellow eyes. She wore some kind of brown, worn-out robes with a hood and a laurel around her head.

Riley gasped. “I’m so kind of Jedi meets Cats: The Musical...that’s so cool! Do I have claws?”

Riley holds up her hand, or paw. She squeezed her fist and let it go, releasing claws. “HECK YEAH!”

“Initiate?”

Riley looked up to see a lion man, dressed in the same kind of robes.

“Aren’t you coming?” the lion asked. “We have to make it to the temple for the ceremony.”

“Of course I’m coming,” Riley replied. “But uh...what’s the ceremony for?”

The lion roared with laughter. “How else are we going to keep up the barrier around our kingdom? The city needs all druids, even fresh meat like you!”

Riley smirked. “So basically I’m a druid cat in a fantasy video game in this magic cat city. Alright, lead the way expositing Simba!”


“You have got to be kidding!”

Tessa scowled. She was standing in a bride’s dress in front of an altar. Tessa’s hair was a supernatural blonde, almost silver white. Likewise her ears were pointed. She was clearly an elf. Across from her stood a lithe elf groom. She was in some of sort of treetop church, filled with other elves.

“I already did a wedding in the last challenge,” Tessa stated. “I’m not marrying this loser!”

The other elves gasped.

“My name is Vajeon Qinnelis,” the groom replied. “And you would dare refuse this arranged marriage?”

“Whatever pixie sticks,” Tessa replied. “I’d rather make toys for Santa than marry some uptight jerk I don’t know! What are you going to do about it?”


Seconds later, Tessa was thrown out out of the treetops and landed on the ground. “Ouch.”

“You are banned from the secret treetop city of elves for breaking our customs!” an elf elder shouted.

“And this is why I don’t play video games,” Tessa groaned. “I hope everyone else is having as tough a time…”


“Yee-haw!”

Vance snorted as he trotted forward. No, he wasn’t riding a horse; he was half horse. Vance had become a centaur, his lower half that of strong, white steed. His hair, and beard, had grown out and flowed widely in the wind. He wore no shirt, exposing his hairy chest. An axe was tucked into a belt around his waist. His centaur body was clearly still in the works, his lower half occasionally glitching.

Two monks in black robes followed behind him. “Yeah, so like we were saying we summoned you from another dimension-”

“-I’m a horse y’all!” Vance shouted as he jumped up in the air. He accidentally tripped and stumbled down a ledge, falling and falling till he landed in a stream.

“Are you sure we summoned a legendary hero?” the other monk asked.

The first monk shrugged. “It’s too late now; we’re out of eye of newt anyway. He'll have to do.”


Ness entered an old hut. She slowly pushed the door. An old halfling woman sat rocking in a chair, staring into the fire.

“Um...hello?” Ness asked. “I have something for an...old hermit? No one would give me a-”

The old woman holds up her hand. A star tattoo is emblazoned on her hand. “You have this on your hand, don’t you?”

Ness raised an eyebrow. She looked down at her hand where a similar tattoo was it. Ness touched it and it glowed. “Oh, I do? Was that always here?”

“It’s a magic mark,” the hermit stated. “It means that you have the ability to perform magic, to cast spells and summon allies. If you wish child, you too could be a mage.”

“A mage?” Ness asked.

“Come on, look into the fire…”


“I like shorts! They’re comfy and easy to wear!”

Jasper passed the last table and sighed. “So no else has anything interesting to say?”

Jasper turned and looked at the bar. The old man was still staring him down. Finally, a glowing arrow pointed to the seat next to the old man.

“Ohhh,” Jasper said. “You wanted me to talk to the creepy guy?”

Jasper walked over and took a seat.

“So, you looking for a job?” the old man asked.

“Huh?” Jasper asked.

The old man turned to the bartender. “Bring a drink for me and my friend here.”

“So...are you going to give me some kind of guidance?”

The bartender set down to mugs of foaming brown drinks.

“Enjoy some juice kid,” the old man said.

The old man chugged the glass of obvious beer.

“I can tell you’re a thief kid,” the old man said.

“Is that my class?” Jasper asked. “These games have stuff like that, right?”

“You’re looking for a big score,” the old man said. “Some kind of job for someone to use your skills. Why else would you be at a bar.”

“For a drink of…’juice’?”

“Don’t sass me kid.”

“Wait...you can understand me?” Jasper asked.

“Are AIs aren’t that advanced, but sometimes we can respond to you players,” the old man replied. “Not all NPCs though. Now listen, I’m willing to give you a job. I’ve got one big score, the last before I retire. And I need a man with your…’skills’.”

“I have skills?” Jasper asked. “This game is awesome!”

“But it’s a dangerous mission,” the old man replied. “We’ll be stealing something from the Witch Queen.”

“Witch Queen?”


A man in armor grunted as he whipped his horse. The horse whined as it pulled a cart of prisoners in shackles.

“Well, this is a fun game,” Ignacio sighed.

Ignacio sat while shackled to the ground...but he looked very different. Ignacio was an orc, with grey skin, sharp teeth with two tusks, pointy ears, red tribal paint, and big scars across his left eye and chest. He wore no clothes except a red loincloth.

“Silence prisoners!” the driver yelled.

The prisoner across from Ignacio shook his head. “They’re probably going to execute us.”

“Execute us?” Ignacio asked.

“The King’s Crusaders carry out the Southern King’s justice however they see fit,” the prisoner sighed. “Surprised to see an actual orc here.”

“I guess you’re talking to me,” Ignacio replied.

“Most of your kind are busy working for the Witch Queen,” the prisoner said. “They been waring with the Crusaders for ages, but now with her leading them they’re actually trouble. Do you serve her?”

“Never heard of her,” Ignacio replied.

“I suppose the Crusaders think that being an orc is enough reason to arrest you,” the prisoner said.

“Am I right in theorizing this Witch Queen is important to the plot?” Ignacio asked. “Who is she?”

The prisoner chuckled. “The Witch Queen is a dark mistress, probably the worst evil the realms have seen since Voron, the ancient demon. She’s united many evil creatures under her; dragons, goblins, trolls, harpies, orcs.”

Ignacio frowned. “Thanks.”

“All kinds of nasty monsters like you. And she has only one goal; to conquer all of Todramatius.”


“Todramatius?” Jasper asked.

“That’s our world boy,” the old man replied. “Rumor is, she plans on doing it by using the Chalice of Voron.”

“Whose this Voron guy again?”

“Voron was an ancient demon, who invaded the land with his armies from the Infernal Realms. He used his mystical chalice to cast terrible curses. He was only defeated by a party of legendary warriors known as the Final 7.”


In an enchanted forest, Melissa was hearing her own story. Melissa’s ‘transformation’ was perhaps the most strangest; she was now a fairy, only a few inches tall. She flew with pink butterfly wings and seemed to be wearing a dress made from a flower bulb. She glowed pink and trailed pink fairy dust behind her.

She followed a slightly larger, purple glowing fairy in a long gown and wearing a crown. They flew over a field of flowers, fairies fluttering from blossoming buds. The farther they got however, the more the flowers wilted. The grass faded brown.

They approached a giant tree. Its branches bloomed with flower buds, but it was clearly looking sickly. Many branches were already empty.

“The Final 7?” Melissa asked.

The fairy queen nodded. “The Final 7 were seven strong warriors who were the last stand against Voron. Only one of them survived the fight and vanquished Voron. They hid the chalice. Legends say that when dark times strike again, The Final 7 would be reincarnated to save the realm! The hero who defeated Voron would save us again.”

“So that’s what this game is about,” Melissa said. “To win the game we have to defeat this Witch Queen!”

“It is true Melissa. One of The Final Seven was a fairy cleric. The Great Tree predicted that it would be born among our ranks.”

The fairy queen rested a hand on the sickly tree. “We have waited for this chosen one. But now the Witch Queen’s evil poisons the very land. Her dark magic is killing The Great Tree and without it...our homeland will wither and no fairies will be born.”

“That’s so cruel,” Melissa gasped. "And terrible for the environment."

The Great Tree has chosen you,” the fairy queen stated. “I’m afraid you must leave and stop the Witch Queen.”

“Of course,” Melissa replied. “If it’ll help the Great Tree!”

“Thank you. But to stop the Witch Queen, you’ll need to destroy Voron’s chalice...”


Riley was eating a sandwich with the lion man.

“So where is this unholy grail?” Riley asked.

“No one knows; that’s what hidden means,” the older druid laughed.

“That’s helpful,” Riley replied.

“The Witch Queen is using her army to search for it as we speak,” the lion said. “Unfortunately, the only way to destroy Voron’s Chalice is in the lava of Mt. Malady.”

“Why is that unfortunate?”

“Because the Witch Queen’s castle sits on Mt. Malady.”

“Aw, bummer,” Riley replied. “But I guess that’s where I need to go if I’m going to fight the final boss and win this thing! So thanks for the exposition brobbit, now when do I start kicking ass?”

“You’re not seriously considering leaving?” the lion asked. “This is the last city of the cat folk! Our ancestral home!”

“What do you mean?” Riley asked.

“You know initiate,” the lion asked. “The reason we all hide. The Witch Queen has been killing off all our people ever since it was prophesied a catfolk would be an ancient hero. This city is our only safe haven.”

“That’s...heavy,” Riley admitted. “But if we don’t go to war with this evil queen lady then how can we ever really survive? We’ll just be hiding and waiting...until we can’t fight her any longer. Till she…”

BOOM.

This was a scream as the entire city shook. Fire rained down from the sky as cat folk started running.

“...shows up here.”


Ness looked out from the fire. “So that’s the quest of this game. What does me being a mage have to do with it?”

“Only once in a hundred years is a halfling born with a magic mark,” the old woman explained. “Just like the one of the fabled Final 7.”

“Wow, you look good for over hundred,” Ness blurted out. “Um I mean...so I’m the reincarnation then?”

The old woman nodded. “I can teach you how to use your magic and you can fight the Witch Queen. But if you do this you can never return here. This world will be too simple to return to with what you’ve seen and the people will shun you as someone who has changed. Are you willing to give that up?”

Ness immediately nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Wait, what? Really?”

“I mean it’s not like I actually know those people,” Ness answered. “If they’re rude enough to hate me for saving the world, then forget them. And some are a little...off.”

Ness turned to look out the window where the random NPC was standing closely. “Another beautiful day in Halfling Village! Who’d ever want to leave?”

Ness shuddered and pulled down the blinds. “I especially won’t miss him.”


Ignacio sighed as was marched up to a guillotine. A page unrolled a scroll and read, “For the crime of conspiring against the Southern King, you are hereby sentenced to execution.”

“Wow, no trial,” Ignacio said. “What a great king you have. Is there a reason why I’m dying at the start of this game?”

“Silence you dirty orc,” the commander shouted. The other King’s Crusaders cheered as his head was lowered.

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

A beastly growl echoed throughout the air; the air whipped like a razor’s edge. The page screamed, falling back and trying to run. But he was quickly grabbed...by a dragon’s talons. In seconds the beast had swallowed him in one gulp. It flew off, firing its burning breath and swinging its clubbed tail into the Crusaders’ outposts.

“Runnn!” the Crusaders shouted.

Everyone dispersed. Ignacio raised an eyebrow as he slowly backed out the guillotine and started running down a path. “Dragon ex machina. I assume the goal is to defeat this Witch Queen. But how?”

“Orc!”

Ignacio froze. The commander of the King’s Crusader and Ignacio’s fellow prisoner each stood outside of a building. They both held their hand out.

“Come with me,” the commander said. “If you help us escape I can get you pardoned. You could even join the Crusaders!”

“You want me to join my executioners?” Ignacio asked. “You’re kidding, right?”

“That’s right!” the prisoner shouted. “Join me orc and we can fight together in the Rebellion! We can defeat the Southern King and this Witch Queen and her monsters!”

“I’ll pass,” Ignacio replied.

“What? Why?”

“You're clearly prejudice against orcs,” Ignacio replied. “And rather rude anyway.”

“You have to join one of our factions!” the commander yelled.

“And if I don’t?”

The dragon dropped from the sky. It burned both men into ashes in seconds. It turned to Ignacio and snarled.

“Oh...that’s what.”

The dragon flashed its teeth, but Ignacio raised his hands. “Wait! You don’t want to kill me! We’re on the same side.”

“Is that so?”

From the back of the dragon’s head, a...familiar figure walked down. She was an old, hunchbacked, slimy, green skinned, gray-haired, warty, decrepit crone. Yet she also looked and sounded suspiciously like…

“Rhonda?” Ignacio asked.

The crone wore dark robes and a crown of thorns on her head. She moved using her black staff as a cane, wheezing as she shuffled towards Ignacio. “Do you not know to bow in the presence of greatness!”

“Wait...you’re the Witch Queen!” Ignacio gasped. Quickly he kneeled.


In Rhonda’s office, several monitors displayed the newcomers progress in the game. Jenny was rolling on the floor laughing and pointing on the screen.

Rhonda scoffed. “It’s not that funny.”

“It’s HILARIOUS,” Jenny bawled. “The video game developers made you they’re hideous villain! That’s what they meant when they said Genesis inspired them! HA HA HA HA!”

“The resemblance is uncanny,” Toby stated.

The Witch Queen held out her hand. “Come to me my pet!”

“Cawww!” A two headed vulture landed on the Witch Queen’s hand. The heads clearly looked like Jenny and Toby.

“Wait a minute,” Jenny said. “Pet? PET? Did they make us your pet? I’m the main character of this fanfiction!”

“Since when?” Toby asked.

Rhonda snickered. “You weren’t even important have to have a speaking voice in the game.”


“You claim to be my soldier yet you don’t even recognize me,” the Witch Queen stated.

“I’ve never seen you in person my liege,” Ignacio replied. “And I had trouble making out your figure...from the glare of all the burning people.”

The Witch Queen stroked her pet’s two heads with her talon fingers. “What do you think my ugly? Do you believe him?”

The Jenny head nodded while the Toby head shook itself.

“I was scouting for you my queen,” Ignacio said. “But I was captured by your enemies.”

“Why would I assign an orc on a scouting mission?” The Witch Queen asked. “I’d send one of my living shadows or a changeling at least.”

“I was...sent to retrieve one of your changelings,” Ignacio replied. “So I was scouting for him...her...it. But they were killed. They did tell me that the Southern King is planning to fight you with his armies. He’s planning a siege soon!”

“Really?”

“And the Southern King...said you look unflattering in that dress,” Ignacio added.

“HOW DARE HE?” the Queen gasped. “The foolish mortal! We’ve waited too long to ravage the Southern lands. Are you sure he plans to attack?”

“I am but an orc,” Ignacio replied. “What reasons do I have to lie? We all serve you my queen.”

“True you are,” the crone replied. “Come my servant, we have much to do.”

“We do?” Ignacio asked.

“Of course,” she cackled. “You and the other orcs must begin training so we may plan our siege on the Southern Kingdom!”

Ignacio gulped, but nodded and followed the villainess.


“So I don’t believe the game wanted me to align myself with its’ malefactor,” Ignacio admitted. “But it was this or be digested by a dragon. Not to mention if the quest is to defeat the Witch Queen, it might be easiest to do it right under her nose…”


And so our fabled newcomers began their hero’s journey. It was a perilous quest, with truly shocking plot twists…

Jasper held the old man in arms, an arrow piercing the old man's body. “No, you can’t die on me. I didn’t even get to know your name!”

“The developers...never...gave me one...cough…”

The old man’s eye rolled into the back of his head. His body faded out of existence.

“No!” Jasper cried. “He was one job from retirement! Nooooooo!”


...and a cast of strange characters. Our famed heroes would find friends, new and old…

Ignacio trembled as he approached a giant wolf. He turned to the orc standing over his shoulder.

“Why do we ride giant wolves into battle?” Ignacio asked.

“It’s tradition,” the orc replied. “And it looks rad.”

“How do I get a mount to bond with me?”

“You have to beat it in combat. It will fear you enough to let you ride it.”

Ignacio scratched his chin. “Hmm...I’m not so sure about this.”

Slowly, Ignacio approached the wolf. The wolf snarled but Ignacio dropped a piece of mutton in front of him. The giant wolf sniffed it cautiously, but ate it. Ignacio pulled out more mutton and waved it in the wolf’s face. He began to salivate. He caught it in his mouth as Ignacio threw it.

“What are you doing?” an orc asked.

Ignacio petted behind the wolf’s ears, who started wagging his tail. “Domesticating. It’s less dangerous, and I speculate it will make the wolf more loyal.”

“It’s worth trying I suppose,” the other orc replied. “We’d certain lose less soldiers. Any other ideas you got new guy?”

“Well, does anyone else have a problem with the Witch Queen calling us servants?” Ignacio asked.

“Are you talking crap about the queen?” the orc asked.

“Never, I just mean we’re more soldiers or employees, right?” Ignacio asked. “Servants is degrading. We risk our lives for her. It would just feel nice.”

The other orcs nodded.


Tessa walked through a dark forest. She was now dressed like a ranger, wearing green gear and brown gloves. A quiver of arrows was slung over her shoulder, with a bow in her hands.

“I’m actually doing pretty good at this,” Tessa admitted to herself. “I should take up archery in real life.”

A bush near her started to shake. Tessa held an arrow to it and readied her aim. “Alright, you want to do another fight kobold? Because I’m getting first strike!”

Riley fell out of the bushes. “Anyone else thinks it's weird this game has turn based combat?”

“Riley!” Tessa cheered, throwing her arms around her friend. “So you’re a cat?”

“And you’re an elf,” Riley laughed. “They fit us, huh?”

“I’m going to take that as compliment,” Tessa replied. “How do you like the challenge so far?”

“It’s been kind of rough,” Riley admitted.

“Tell me about it,” Tessa sighed. “I was almost in an arranged marriage, I’m banned from an elf city, and I’ve been fighting the same enemies for like an hour just level grinding so I can fight a giant beholder head in a cave. How about you?”

“My home city was wiped out in front of me and now I’m the last of my people,” Riley replied.

“Oh...that sucks.”

“Yeah, it’s a downer alright,” Riley admitted. “But I’m going to get mad revenge on this Witch Queen for it. Melt her stupid face with my druid magic!”

“So you can shoot fire or something?” Tessa asked.

Riley shook her head. “Nah, I got more nature magic powers. I can totally shapeshift into animals though! Check it.”

Riley stood out, holding her hands out. She started growling...then growing as her growls turned into a roar. Suddenly, she had transformed into a owlbear monster. “Ta da! I’m half owl, half bear, all fierce!”

“So you’re a cat that can turn into a bear that’s also an owl?”

“I don’t question it.”

The two stood there quietly for a moment.

“I guess we are competing against each other,” Tessa sighed.

“So should we engage in combat?” Riley asked. “You can take that first shot then.”

Tessa smirked. “Wait, who says we have to fight each other? I mean what if we worked together together to defeat the final boss and destroy the chalice! Then we’ll both win invincibility!”

“Can we do that?” Riley asked.

“The rules don’t say we can’t,” Tessa replied. “Rhonda will probably like it. If not then at least one of us will still win it.”

Riley lowered her paws, transforming back into herself. “Let’s do it Sweet T!”

The two high fived.

TESSA THE RANGER JOINED YOUR PARTY.

RILEY THE DRUID JOINED YOUR PARTY.


But not everyone our heroes met were friendly. There were monsters and challenges that were far more dangerous than our heroes could’ve expected. But our heroes rose to the occasion…

Melissa floated in the sky, toggling through her options in the combat menu. Across from her stood two goblins carrying clubs. They growled.

“We’re going to squash you fae!”

“Good luck dears,” Melissa replied.

The goblins raised an eyebrow. Melissa finally sighed and pointed her wand at them. A small flame flew from it and struck the first goblin’s pointy nose. He cried out; 5 damage.

“Our turn!” He replied.

He charged forward, but Melissa dodged. She dodged the second goblin as it threw its club. The club regenerated in his hand.

“We’re gonna grind up your bones with our teeth,” the other growled.

“Oh dear,” Melissa replied. “That’s not very healthy for them. Not to judge your eating habits…”

Melissa pointed her wand at the first goblin again. This time fairy dust came out and the goblin glittered;  5 HP restored.

“Did…did you just heal me?”

Melissa nodded. “I felt a little bad about that attack earlier…”

“I said I was going to squash you! You don’t heal enemies!”

“Are we enemies? I don’t even know you.”

“…Kid, anything that you fight in combat is an enemy. Especially if they’re going to eat your bones.”

“We’re the canon fodder,” the second goblin added. “You’re suppose to defeat us really easily. I mean, my skill is actually -2!”

“That seems even crueler!” Melissa replied. “Are you sure we have to fight?”

“Yeah,” the first goblin said. “That way we can eat you!”

Melissa scratched her chin. “What if I could cook you something even more tasty than fairy bones?”

“Hmm, sounds crazy but my wife always says I need to try new things. Plus, I don’t think this fight will get anywhere if we don’t.”

“We got a goblin potluck in a few hours,” the second goblin said. “Bring your best dish. Whether we like it or not, you’ll bring something we can eat...”


Ness was in some sort of ice level. She was now wearing a wizard hat and had long flowy robes. She opened a spell book. In front of her were white furred monkeys or ‘ice monkeys’.

“I cast Greater Fireball!” Ness stated.

Her magic mark glowed as a giant fireball burst from her hands and singed the ice monkeys into ashes.

+38 EXP

LEVEL UP!

“Eeeee!” Ness cheered. “Sweet, maybe I can learn a new spell!”


Vance peered inside a cave. He twirled his mustache as he sat a hoof inside...and was immediately swarmed by bat monkeys. “Get off ya dirty mammals!”

Vance immediately transitioned to the combat menu. He grinned and tossed his axe at the first bat monkey. It landed; 10 damage.

“It’s like shooting fish in a barrel,” Vance snorted.

The bat monkey hissed and flew at Vance. It bit him in the rear end, sinking in its fangs. 10 HP was stolen.

“Stay away from my beautiful pony bottom ya flying rat!” Vance shouted, braying his legs.

He pulled a healing potion out of his satchel and chugged it; 10 HP was restored. “Suck on that you vampire primates!”

The next bat monkey hissed and also drained 10 HP. Vance sighed and pulled out another potion restoring 10 HP. Then the third bat monkey hissed...


Jasper was in some sort of lava world, fighting fire monkeys. He studied his command menu options.

“Alright, let’s try ‘STEAL’,” Jasper said.

He jumped forward then blurred like a shadow, swiping at the lead fire monkey. He then jumped back to his side of the fighting menu.

YOU GOT A BANANA.

“It’s always bananas,” Jasper sighed. “Come to think of it, why am I always fighting monkeys? I mean there was normal monkeys, she monkeys, metal monkeys, giant monkeys, king monkeys, sea monkeys, monkey lime pie...This game is just recycling the same enemy sprites, isn’t it?”

From the ground a monkey popped out and started clawing at Jasper’s back. “Ahhhh!”

YOU WERE AMBUSHED BY AN UNDERGROUND MONKEY. 20 DAMAGE.


“Vicavorausan or deaavh!” Ignacio cried out in Orcish. He charged forward on his wolf, slashing the Southern King with a blade twice the size of his body.

CRITICAL HIT.

The Southern King cried out as he faded away.

+76 EXP

LEVEL UP!

The other orcs clapped as Ignacio looted the Southern King’s corpse. He blushed. “Oh please, it was nothing.”

“Are you kidding?” the orc asked. “You just defeated the mid-game boss. Where did you get that sword?”

“Oh, I did a side quest for my Vorpal Sword,” Ignacio replied. “I had to defeat an ancient Jabberwocky in the Mad God’s dimension. It increases my chance for a critical hit by 70%.”

“Impressive.”

“Thanks. Now let’s see if the Southern King has part of the map for Voron’s Chalice!”

Ignacio whistled and his wolf mount rushed forward. The other orcs shared a look.

“What do you think of this guy Vavagor?” another orc asked.

The lead orc shrugged. “This guy has a very weird way to do stuff, but his ideas have been very efficient. And he fights like a true warrior!”

“But what about some of his...other ideas. Like a union or whatever? He’s clearly anti-Witch Queen.”

“I don’t think he understands why we serve her,” Varagor admitted. “I can see where he’s coming from but...well, it doesn’t matter. I’ll have a talk with him.”

“Do you really think we can trust him?” a female orc asked.

“I don’t know. I want to, but he’s different. Something odd about him. There’s only one thing I know for sure...he has the finest butt of any orc I’ve ever seen.”

All the other orcs nodded in agreement.


And as our heroes roamed all over the lands, they prepared for battle anyway and every way they could…

Ness was flipping through her spell book as she walked through a small village.

“Help! Help!”

Ness turned to see an old woman with a cane standing nearby. “What’s wrong mam?”

“I’ve lost my cat Toodles,” she cried. “Could you help me find him?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Ness stated. “But I’m actually trying to save the world here. This feels like an inappropriate time.”

“But you’ll get EXP!”

Ness raised an eyebrow. “For finding a cat?”

“And I’ll pay you ten whole coins!”

Look, maybe I can help you search for a minute or two but-”

NEW SIDE QUEST: LOST KITTY!

“Wait, I wasn’t-”

“Oh thank you adventurer!” the woman said. “I believe Toodles ran off into the deep, deep part of the woods.

Ness sighed and buried her face in her spell book.


“Thank you for helping me hero,” a farm girl said.

Vance smirked and winked. “Don’t worry, I’ll round up your loose little chickens.”

“Cluckys,” she corrected. “They’re not normal birds brave, hairy centaur. They’re very tricky. And most important you can’t-”

“-I may not really have farm experience,” Vance stated. “But I am a legendary hero from another dimension! I think I can round up a couple of pea-brained poultry…”


“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”

Vance ran (galloped?) as an army of chickens moved like a wave, giving blood-curdling clucks as they pecked and chased after Vance.

“I tried to warn you!” the farm girl yelled. “If you attack them too much, they’ll...ahhhh!”

She was drowned out as they waved toppled over her. One of the lead Cluckys started shooting fireballs at Vance.

“WHY WOULD SOMEONE PROGRAM THIS,” Vance screamed.


Later, Ness approached a bustling medieval metropolis near a seashore.

“I need to find the nearest inn,” she said to herself. “That way I can restore myself, while pausing the game. I probably should eat some lunch while it’s pause-”

“Help! Help!”

Ness groaned. She turned to see a familiar old lady with a cane standing nearby.

“Please help, my cat Toodles-”

“-No,” Ness stated. “I’ve done this side quest three times already! And every time your cat turns out to be under a bed in the inn! But every time I have to go through the forest before it re-spawns. Why is this side quest always available?”

“But it’ll give you EXP-”

“No!” Ness yelled. “I am trying to SAVE THE WORLD.”

“But who will save Toodles,” the old lady cried. “He’s my world.”

“Nooooooo….”


Tessa and Riley were perusing in a clothing shop on a swamp level. Tessa searched through an armor bin and pulled out a chain-mail bikini.

“Ugh, how does this give me +2 defense?” Tessa gagged. “My body will literally be more exposed! Not to mention it looks chaffy. Are you ready to leave yet Rye?”

“Hang on!” Riley shouted from a changing booth. “Apparently they’ve got jobs you can take in this game! They’re like classes you can switch into and gain new skills!”

“Aren’t you happy as a druid?” Tessa asked.

“Yeah, but a few new skills wouldn’t hurt. Some min-maxing, ya know? What do you think about-”

Riley jumped out, encased in thick, black armor. “A few levels in dark knight? Or…”

Riley ran into the changing booth and game back in some sort of Arabian Nights belly dancer costume. “A level or some in dancer? I could give you an extra turn with a sensual dance. Ooh, or what about-”

Riley ran back into the booth and came out in a...cat mascot costume. “A...cat? What even is a cat class?”

“You are not being a cat dressed in a cat suit,” Tessa stated. “Now come on, we have to slay the rakshasa so someone will finally repair that broken bridge. Open-world game my butt…”

“I feel like this costume is appropriating my dead culture,” Riley sighed.

“But it comes with the Cute Charm ability!” the shopkeeper added.


Until at least the final battle was mere hours away...

Ignacio punched a training dummy in the orc training facility. He sighed, wiping sweat from his forehead before departing. He smiled and petted his sleeping wolf mount.

“Hey Ignacio.”

Ignacio turned to see Varagor. “Hey Varagor. Have a new side quest for me?”

“No, no,” Varagor replied. “I just thought we should talk. Privately.”

Varagor motions Ignacio to follow. The model turned orc paused, but slowly followed Varagor. The orc lead him into a storage room, then locked the door.

“Varagor?”

“Calm yourself. You know me too well to know this isn’t an ambush.”

“You’re honorable,” Ignacio admitted.

“As are you,” Varagor said. “I think. But I know you’re trying to undermine the Witch Queen.”

“Whatttttt?” Ignacio replied. “No, I’m not…how could I…why would-“

“-You bring it up quite often amongst our brothers and sisters,” Varagor replied. “About how she treats us unfairly, sees as expendable and tools. And now I hear you’ve been doing quests for the trolls and saying the same stuff.”

“But she does treat us terribly,” Ignacio said. “We’re pawns to her at best. You see that, don’t you?”

Varagor sighs. “She’s not a good person. But you don’t understand why we follow her, do you?”

“Well I-“

“You’re not from here,” Varagor stated. “I don’t know from where, but our orcs would understand. If we help the Witch Queen we can give ourselves better lives.”

“What do you mean?” Ignacio asked.

“The humans and elves have no respect for us,” Varagor said. “We’re just ugly monsters for them to kill. They’ve waged wars against us, attacked out clans and savaged our homelands. If The Witch Queen succeeds and conquers the land she’ll give us a place in the new world order.”

Ignacio said nothing for a moment. “I had no idea. I’m truly sorry. But we’re acting like the monsters the other races think we are.”

“We can’t change their opinions.”

“Not like this. Do you really think the Witch Queen has different opinions? Does she respect us?”

“It doesn’t matter. She can help us.”

“How do we know she’ll keep her promise? She’s just using us. I mean she’s an evil sorceress! She wears all black, she cackles, and she casts curses! She even has the hobgoblins bring her a new puppy everyday, just to kick it! If we keep choosing to serve her and she gains the power of the chalice…we won’t have a choice.”

Varagor sighed. “I…I don’t know. I don’t know what to do Ignacio. We need a better life than this. I’ve lost many friends to other races. But I’ve lost friends in this war. All we know how to do anymore is war…”

Ignacio put his hand on Varagor’s shoulder. “We need to learn a better way.”

There was a sudden knock on the door. “Sir!”

Varagor opened the door to see a nervous looking orc. “Bragh, what-“

“-The Witch Queen; she’s here.”


Moments later, the orcs were lined up as the Witch Queen eyed them. Varagor stepped forward and kneeled. Ignacio and the other orcs followed suit.

“My queen, what can we do for you?”

“I am in need of the one they call…Ignacio,” she sneered.

The orcs step out of the way as Ignacio approached. He bowed. “My liege.”

“I’ve heard of your exploits orc,” she said. “Even how you conquered the Southern Kingdom in my name. I was right to spare you.”

“It is honor to be in your presence again,” Ignacio replied.

“I have need for you warrior. Come with me.”

Ignacio nodded and followed. He shot his comrades a look before disappearing.


Ignacio followed the Witch Queen slowly, always behind her and not in front of her. They marched down a long corridor. Finally they approached a large iron door.

“Heh heh heh. You’ve done well fighting for me, but I need you to prove yourself to me.”

“Prove myself?” Ignacio asked.

“I’m thinking of promoting you to one of my generals. You’ll be by my side for the battle.”

“To retrieve the chalice?”

The Witch Queen cackled. “We’ve found where the chalice is. A foolish elf and catfolk are bringing it to us as we speak.”

“Wait, so you’re going to let the heroes bring it to us?” Ignacio said. “But we had the map and knew its hiding place…which means you leaked it.”

“Of course, it makes it so much easier,” she replied. “After all, they want to destroy us. So they’ll bring it here.”

“Straight into a trap,” Ignacio said.

“They can’t hope to defeat our entire army. Especially you…if I can trust you.”

Ignacio raised an eyebrow.

“I haven’t forgotten your origins warrior. I need you to prove your loyalty to my greatness. So…”

The iron door raised itself. There was a roar of applause. Ignacio stepped through it and found himself in a coliseum. The stands were packed with different creatures from the Witch Queen’s army.

The Witch coughed and waved her hands, disappearing in a cloud of smoke. She teleported into a balcony overlooking the arena. She sat down on an iron throne as her pet raven rested on her staff. “Prove that you are committed to the Dark Army!”

Ignacio gulped, but raised his fist in the air. “I want nothing more! Vicavorausan or deaavh!”

The crowd burst into cheers.

“Good! Then execute our prisoner in trial by combat…”

The other iron door raised. Ness softly stepped out, trying to hide her face in her wizard hat.

“Ness?”

“A so-called legendary hero! This pathetic halfling mage was captured trying to steal pieces of our map. Now prove your devotion to me. Kill her.”

The crowd roared.

Ness took a deep breath and lifted her hat. She almost fell over as she saw her ex-teammate. “Ignac-“

“-I will finish this,” Ignacio replied. “But first uh…you should send us to resting stations.”

The crowd went silent. The Witch Queen coughed. “Excuse me? If I did that the mage’s HP and mana would be restored!”

“Yes,” Ignacio said. “But…how can I truly prove myself if my opponent isn’t at their strongest? I want to put on a good match. To show that the glory of the Dark Army does not falter!”

The crowd started cheering again.

The Witch Queen shrugged. “Very well. Minions! Unlock the resting station near each side. Then we’ll do the blood sporting!”

Ignacio nodded at Ness as she was escorted back to her side. She sighed as she was thrown into a dungeon room. She approached a bed and sat in it.

RESTORING. GAME PAUSED.

“Ness?”

Ness lifted her VR headset and saw Ignacio standing across from her. “Iggy! What are you doing here?”

“I figured we could talk before…you know. It’s not against the rules to co-conspire after all.”

Ness smirked a little. “That is true. Care to explain why you’re serving the game’s bad guy?”

“It’s a long story, but basically I’m playing double agent,” Ignacio replied.

“That’s brilliant!” Ness said.

Ignacio blushed. “I guess. Now, I’ve got a pretty strong sword and can summon my own mount. What spells do you know?”

“Ignacio, we can’t team up,” Ness stated.

“It’s not against the rules of the-“

“I mean we can’t in the game,” Ness replied. “We’re surrounded by the Witch Queen’s forces! Even if we somehow make it out of the coliseum, her palace has her entire army.”

Ignacio sighed. “Then I’ll throw the match.”

“Ignacio-“

“She said it was trial by combat,” Ignacio interrupted. “If you win, she has to let you-“

“-Do you believe she’ll keep that promise?” Ness asked.

Ignacio sighed. “No. At best she might make a loophole to immediately kill you. She’s pretty cunning for someone based off Rhonda.”

“I noticed that too!” Ness giggled for a moment. She frowned. “But…I can’t win anymore. As soon as I got captured it was over.”


“Note to future players of this game,” Ness said. “If an old lady offers a quest to get her cat; kill her on sight. Trust me.”


“I’ll throw the match,” Ness continued. “Make it look like a good fight. And you’ll keep your position.”

“I guess that’s best,” Ignacio admitted.

“I want you to compete,” Ness stated. “Last challenge-“

“I know,” Ignacio said. “I am still trying to win the show, I promise. I just don’t want to…’kill’ you.”

“It’s not like it actually hurts.”

“But it still doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to see you die...especially by me.”

Ness smiled. “Thanks Iggy. But I’ll be okay. Come on, we don’t have a lot of time before the other players could get involved.”


Back in the game, Tessa and Riley were ascending up Mt. Malady.

“So what’s our plan exactly,” Tessa said. She fired in arrow into the mountainside. It was attached to a rope and hooked inside it, creating a climbing rope. She tied it to her waist, scaling another patch of the ground. Riley had meanwhile transformed into a mountain goat-frog and was skipping up the craggy mountainside.

“Destroy this cup,” Riley stated. “Probably have to fight that nasty Witch Queen in a final boss battle too.”

“But it’ll be crawling with monsters,” Tessa stated.

Riley chuckled. “I mean yeah, but it’s just like every level. Battle some goons, find a healing point, solve a couple puzzles, then repeat till a boss fight.”

“I guess,” Tessa stated. “But I think as Plan B, you turn into a bird and throw the chalice into the lava as quick as you can.”

“What about you?” Riley asked.

“I’ll hold them off,” Tessa replied. “Or serve as a distraction.”

Riley shrugged as she transformed back to normal. “I guess we both couldn’t throw the chalice anyway. But, be careful and try to stay alive Sweet T. We’re a team!”

Tessa smiled and nodded.


“Wooooo!”

The dark forces in the coliseum cheered as the battle raged on.

“Greater Fireball!” Ness cried, casting a spell. A large plume of fire expelled from her hands, knocking Ignacio in the chest; -15 damage. Ignacio was at half-health. But he didn’t look as scratched up as Ness.

“Squash the halfling!”

“Show them they can’t push us around anymore!”

Ignacio sighed. Ness shook her head, tilting her hat over her eyes. He ran forward, brandishing the Vorpal Sword.

CRITICAL HIT.

Ness smiled softly before falling to her knees. Her sprite faded away.

GAME OVER.

The crowd burst into cheers. Ignacio sighed, before forcing a smile and waving at the crowd.

From her perch at the top of the coliseum, the Witch Queen clapped. She stood up, raising her hand. The crowd instantly went silent.

“Congratulations to Ignacio. He has proven himself. He has proven our strength, our determination. He has proven the Dark Army will fall to no prophecy!”

The crowd erupted into cheers. She quieted them once again.

“At this very moment, a band of fools brings the Chalice of Voron up the mountain. They believe they can destroy it right under our nose. They believe they can defeat us. But I know the strength of the Dark Army. These heroes are delivering us their own doom! Gather your arms; prepare for War! This fight was only the first hero’s blood we will spill! Until I have the chalice...and all of Todramatius bows to me!”

The Dark Army roared, monster after monster storming to the entrance. The orcs chanted battle cries, while the goblins cackled madly and the bugbears growled. Clubs, axes, and blades were grabbed from every position. Wraiths and lichs rose from their graves. Dragons and harpies took to the skies. The final battle had begun.


“Uh, Rye do you hear that?”

Riley looked up from playing with her tail to Tessa, who was managing her inventory. “Huh? Hear what?”

“Drums,” Tessa replied. “I hear drums…”

Tessa was drowned out by the sound of trumpets. A band of orcs played war drums and trumpets, as The Dark Army marched, encircling the mountain.

“That’s a lot of turn based combat,” Tessa stated.

From atop the tallest tower of her castle, the Witch Queen screamed, “Surrender the chalice and I may let you live.”

“Oh my god, is that Rhonda?” Tessa asked.

“I said-”

“S’up Rhonda!” Riley greeted. “What are you doing here?”

“There goes your chance for surrender,” the Witch Queen replied. “Don’t bother saying your prayers to the Gods, they won’t be answered!”

Tessa picked up her bow. “Really? First off, none of this game’s writers can write dialogue. I mean what fanfic writer wrote this garbage? Second, we’ve beat all of your forces up to know.”

“Yeah, you basically don’t have any points on the scoreboard,” Riley stated. “Besides, we’re the heroes! We don’t lose!”

“So you plan to defeat my entire army,” the Witch Queen cackled. “How? With your own army?”

“Oh, hello Ms. Rhonda!”

Melissa flew up towards Riley and Tessa. “Hi dears! How have you enjoyed the game so far?”

“Silence!” The Witch Queen screamed. “Kill them all!”

“Oh dear, was I interrupting?” Melissa asked.

“Just the final battle,” Riley said. “Guess we got to squad up ladies!”

“I’ll try my best,” Melissa said. “But I’m only Level 1.”

“Wait…you’re still Level 1!?” Tessa asked.

“I did max out my cooking skill,” Melissa replied.

“How have you gotten this far?” Tessa asked. “Haven’t you had several random encounters?”

Melissa nodded. “Yes, but I haven’t actually defeated any myself. We start talking, I listen to their problems and try to help or share my bake goods! I’ve made quite a few friends that way! I was even the best woman at the wedding of two gelatinous cube monsters.”

“Well, do you have anything useful to help us with?” Tessa asked.

“I suppose I could ask a few of my new friends to help,” Melissa stated. “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind for a good cause like overthrowing an evil empire.”

SUMMON: GOBLINS

SUMMON: DROW

SUMMON: GORGONS

SUMMON: OOZES

SUMMON: MINDFLAYERS

SUMMON: DRACOLICH

Riley gasped. Melissa continued to summon more and more allies, until there was an army of monsters.

“Hey Melissa,” the goblin from before greeted. “I finally brought that pot back. My wife loved your vegetable soup. Who knew you could eat vegetables?”

“Aww, thanks Romir,” Melissa replied. “Tell Janet I adored her toad broath! It was delicious!”


“I mean I assumed it was delicious,” Melissa admitted. “I couldn’t actually taste it, but the graphics were very well made and visually satisfying for my tummy!”


“What the heck!” The Witch Queen screamed. “Some of you traitors were in my army! How could you side with a fairy?”

“I just couldn’t kill Melissa,” the mindflayer admitted. “I mean she made food way better than her brains. And I love eating brains!”

The Witch Queen pointed at the Dracolich. “I literally raised you from the dead to fight for me!”

“Sorry,” the undead dragon replied. “But I’m giving up evil to start my own chain of nail salons for dogs! Melissa helped me come up with the idea actually. Millennials will eat that shit up!”

“Everyone, if I can ask you all one last favor,” Melissa said. “Please help me and my friends defeat evil and save the world!”

Melissa’s monsters cheered and charged towards the Witch Queen’s own army.

“So you managed to gather an army,” the hag sneered. “So what? My army is bigger and stronger! You-

“-cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck…”

“Um, what is that?” Ignacio asked.

Tessa gasped and pointed to the sky. “Look, the Cluckys! Vance has come with the Cluckys!”

Vance whinnied as he galloped up the hill at full-speed. In the sky a storm of Cluckys followed him.

“Run, run for your lives!” Vance cried. “They’re the toughest enemies in the game!”

“How bad could they-”

A few Cluckys grabbed Vance by the ponytail and hoisted him into their sky. In seconds, Vance was devoured and his bones fell like rain.

GAME OVER.

“Oh,” Ignacio stated. “That’s how dangerous.”

The Cluckys descended from the sky onto both armies and a three way war ranged on, the Cluckys not caring who they attacked.

“Well, this isn’t going to plan,” Tessa stated. “Riley, I think it’s time for Plan B.”

“I think so,” Riley agreed.

Riley ran, arms spread out and jumped, shift shaping into an eagle. Tessa tossed the Chalice of Voron from her rucksack and into the sky, where Riley caught it with her talons.

She soared towards the center of the castle, at the volcano’s opening. Before she could drop it however, the Witch Queen’s two-headed vulture attacked. She dropped the chalice and Ignacio caught it on top of his wolf mount.

The Witch Queen cackled, firing lighting from her fingertips at Riley. “How cute, but ultimately pathetic.”

Riley cried as she plummeted from the sky and crashed to the ground.

“Riley!” Tessa screamed.

The Witch Queen stroked her pet’s two heads. “Wonderful work my ugly.”

Riley transformed back into her normal form and coughed. “I guess, I didn’t get to avenge the cat-folk after all...I hope one of you can avenge me...”

GAME OVER.

“Hahaha,” the villainess cackled. “I warned you fools not to mess with me. That was just an example of your final fate-”

“Awkkkkkkk!”

The Witch Queen’s pet cried out as an arrow pierced both its head, before it faded away.

That was just a warning shot for what you did to Riley,” Tessa stated. “The next arrow is going through your pointy, fat nose!”

“Orc, hand me the Chalice of Voron!” the Witch Queen cried.

Ignacio looked to his hand...only to see the chalice was gone. “What?”

“STEAL!” Jasper yelled, revealing himself.

YOU GOT AN EVIL CHALICE.

“Thief,” the Witch Queen screamed. “What invisibility spell is that?”

“It wasn’t a spell,” Jasper stated. “I’ve been standing around you for along time. Nobody noticed. It’s cause I’m a thief class, right? Or did you...no one noticed I’ve been here the whole time, huh?

“How long have you been here?” Ignacio asked.

“Since you all got here,” Jasper sighed. “But it’s too late now! This game is over.”

Jasper tossed the Chalice of Voron into the lava lake. “YEET.”

“Woooo!”

“Suck on that Witch Queen!” Tessa cheered.

“Congrats Jasper,” Melissa said.

“Wait...why isn’t the game ending?” Ignacio asked.

The mountain suddenly started to quake.

“Hehehehehehehehe!” the Witch Queen cackled. “You foolish fools of foolishness! You’ve done exactly as I wanted all along!”

“What?” Jasper asked. “Weren’t we supposed to-”

“The legends got it wrong all along,” she explained. “Voron’s chalice was able to use such black magic for it contained a part of Voron’s soul!”

“So?” Jasper asked.

“So you’ve freed the demon’s soul,” she explained. “Voron, The Lord of the Infernal Realms, has returned to conquer this world and make it a living heck! HA HA HA!”

“I think what she means,” Ignacio says. “Is that she’s not the real final boss. The true final boss is Voron himself.”

“Well this stinks,” Jasper said.

Black smoke started to rise from the crater, before forming and taking shape as a demonic winged, devil who towered over the mountain. “I...HAVE RETURNED!”

“Oh great master,” the Witch Queen cried. “I have worked to free you from your imprisonment! I will take my reward for my humble service.”

“Sure,” Voron replied.

He pointed his fingertip and smited the Witch Queen, instantly vaporizing her.

“Your reward is the end of your pitiable existence.”

Voron laughed a thunderous laugh, rising to the air. The sky turned red while the cloud trembled as they turned stormy and black. Mt. Malady began to erupt as fire and dead toads rained from the former heavens.

“I guess I accidentally caused the end of the world,” Jasper sighed. “My bad everyone.”

“We’ve all mistakenly caused an apocalypse once or twice,” Melissa admitted. "Or felt like we have."

“Oh gods,” Varagor said. “We served that fiend and now we’ve brought ruin to the world. You were right Ignacio; we lost our choice.”

“Ignacio?” the other newcomers asked.

“What we do now Melissa?” the goblin asked her.

“What else can we do but fight Mr. Voron,” Melissa stated. “I promised I would save the fairies and the Great Tree! And I want to fight to save all of you. To save this world and all the friends I’ve made.”

“For the mentor who actually noticed me,” Jasper said.

“For Riley!” Tessa cried.

“Vance too,” Melissa added.

“Oh, yeah I guess we can throw him in there too,” Tessa said.

“For Ness,” Ignacio said. “For the orcs. For all those souls we’ve lost in this war.”

Ignacio turned to face the Dark Army. “I speak now not just to my fellow orcs, but to all the warriors of this army who I have fought for and beside. The world may have called us monsters, but we know we are more than that! We are people, races, cultures, families. We must join forces to form an army to save all that we care for.”

“Join forces with the heroes,” an orc shouted. “Are you crazy?”

“No,” Ignacio replied. “I’m hopeful. And I’m tired. We are the heroes of our story, aren’t we? That’s why we fought for the Witch Queen. But that bloodshed only made us villains. It is time my brothers and sisters to redeem ourselves, to fight for our future and show everyone that we are more than monsters. Including ourselves. This will be our last battle; if we win we shall foster peace. If we lose, then we shall die nobly. Vicavorausan or deaavh!”

Ignacio raised him fist in the air as he shouted those last words. Then Varagor and the orcs raised their arms and repeated, “Vicavorausan or deaavh!”

The other members of the Dark Army joined suite and followed Ignacio as he charged into battle with the Demon Lord. The other newcomers and their army, and even the Cluckys, looked at each other and then charged.

The Demon Lord turned from the skies to see the army coming to him. He chuckled. “How cute. I’ll reward you same as that witch.”

With a flick of his hand, he sent a thousand fireballs towards the army.

“Ahh!” Melissa cried as she was hit.

GAME OVER.

“Even the 7 heroes of the past could not finish me,” Voron stated. “I'm destroying you fools left and right. What makes you think you can defeat me?”

“Simple,” Ignacio replied. “This is turn-based combat. And you just used your turn. Now our entire army gets to attack you!”

Tessa fired off as many arrows as her bow would let her.

“Sneak attack!” Jasper cried, stabbing a blade in the demon; 1 damage.

The two early trolls tossed their clubs but missed.

Each member of the army fired an attack, none doing more than five damage against the demon lord. But slowly, more and more damage began to pile on him, chipping away at his HP. At the same time, the fireballs continued to rain as a stage effect, destroying members.

“Ahhh!”

“Varagor!” Ignacio cried.

“Vicavorausan or deaavh…” he whispered, giving a soft smile.

“Crap,” Tessa sighed.

GAME OVER.

“Same,” Jasper said.

GAME OVER.

Voron sighed as the Dracolich launched it’s most powerful attack; 7 damage. He had clearly taken damage, with his wings torn and his body scratched up. Yet still he smiled.

“I admit your army has damaged me more than I thought possible. But there’s only your turn left orc, and you can’t do enough damage to finish me off before I can attack next turn.”

Ignacio smirked. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

Ignacio jumped off his mount, brandishing the Vorpal Sword and stabbing it into Voron. Voron’s eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to scream, but was silenced by another noise.

CRITICAL HIT.

Voron started to fade as his body exploded. Ignacio landed onto Mt. Malady, panting as the skies returned to blue and the storm dissipated.

CONGRATULATIONS. YOU WIN!


Ignacio threw off his headset and slumped his chair, sighing in relief.

“Congratulations Orcnacio!” Rhonda announced over the P.A. “Thanks to your Vorpal Blade and uniting the two armies, you defeated the final boss and won the game! Not only have you won invincibility and the luxury suite, but you’ve also won a free copy of the game when its officially released.”

“That is pretty nice,” Ignacio said.

“Console and VR gear sold separately.”

Ignacio frowned.

“As for the rest of you so-called heroes, you’ve got to make a decision. Tonight your party dwindles to six.”


Ignacio strolled down the hall, only to be glomped from behind.

“Eeeeee!” Ness squealed. “I heard, congratulations Mr. Winner! Legendary hero of Todramatius.”

“Thanks,” Ignacio laughed. “Listen, I have to share the luxury suite with someone. If it’s not too weird a request, would you-”

“-Me?” Ness asked.

“I did kill you,” Ignacio replied. “So it feels fair.”

Ness blushed. “Okay, okay. But only so you don’t feel obligated...and it could be a lot of fun.”

The two blushed and nodded, awkwardly parting ways.


In the kitchen, the girls’ alliance gathered together. Ness, still blushing, walked in.

“Sorry I’m late,” Ness said. “So, the vote tonight.”

“We’re voting off Vance, right?” Tessa asked.

“Why would we vote for Vance?” Melissa replied.

“Because he sucks,” Tessa said.

“That’s true,” Riley stated. “Not to mention he’s totally against our girls’ alliance.”

“I don’t know,” Melissa said. “Vance isn’t a threat. He hasn’t won a challenge.”

Ness nodded. “It’s obvious who we have to vote off; Jasper.”

“No way!” Tessa replied. “I’m not voting off Jasper.”

“He has won the most immunities,” Melissa said. “I hate to do it after yesterday’s...mishap.”

“But we do need to vote him off while we can,” Ness stated. “That’s now.”

Riley shrugged. “I guess that makes sense. I mean if it weren’t for the game getting hijacked by that demon jerk, Jasper would have won again today.”

Tessa shook her head. “I’m not doing it. I’m voting Vance.”

“I just don’t think we should do that,” Melissa stated.

“Think, or want to?” Tessa asked.

“Huh?”

“When it came to your male friends you and Ness said you couldn’t vote Ignacio or Vance,” Tessa said. “But you expect me to vote off my friend? I think that’s hypocritical.”

“Vance hasn’t won any challenges,” Melissa stated.

“And he isn’t exactly a social threat,” Ness said.

“I admit Vance is my friend, but this is strategy,” Melissa said. “Now is the time to target Jasper.”

Tessa crossed her arms and shook her head. “Nope. Not doing it. You can vote for whomever you like, but I’m voting Vance. If you want a majority, you should do the same.”

Tessa stood up and strutted out. Riley sighed and shrugged. “I’ll talk to her dudettes. I get where she’s coming from, but I’m fine with whatever we decide.”

Melissa and Ness shared a look.


Later, Ignacio entered the library only to see Vance waiting for him. “Just the man I wanted to see.”

Ignacio raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

The cowboy patted the chair across from him. “Take a load off partner. I’ve got a proposition to discuss with you.”

Slowly the model took a seat, checking his seat first. Vance pulled out index cards from his pockets and began to read from them. “Though you and I have a lot anemoneisty with each other, we are outnumbered. This game is matronlyarchy.

It is in Sarah…Saharan…serene…serendipity that we have to work together,” Vance continued. “I knew I shouldn’t have written this in pen.”

“I’ll vote with you,” Ignacio said.

Vance raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You are right that it would be beneficial,” Ignacio stated.

Vance crumpled up the notes and tossed them away. “So I didn’t need to write all that who-blah?”

“No,” Ignacio said. “It is clear the girls are tight.”

“Glad to see you’ve come to see reason,” Vance said.

“But I’m only willing to do it if it’s Tessa,” Ignacio stated.

“Hmm, I ain’t got any complaints with that,” Vance said. “That’s who I was thinking anyway; she’s the girl that made it farthest in the challenge anyway. But I don’t know if Jasper will vote with us. He’s taken a fancy towards her.”

Ignacio shrugged. “That’s the deal. I’m voting Tessa.”

“I heard ya,” Vance stated. “I’ll do some talking…”


“Perhaps I should have been more flexible with Vance,” Ignacio admitted. “But I wasn’t going to target Riley or Ness. I doubt Vance will vote Melissa. And I’m not as worried about a girls' alliance; those Fizzled Fireworks bonds are still there, and I’m sure I can convince my former teammates to keep me around. Especially when I did the same.”


Rhonda walked out from the back of the counter of the Haunted Internet Café, carrying a plate of six coffee cups. The seven newcomers stared at her. Or more accurately stared at the tray.

“Alright, alright,” Rhonda said. “You’ve all voted and I’ve read the results. And this time we have the right amount of coffee cups. Six of you are moving on to the next level. But for one of you, it’s game over.”

Rhonda tossed the first cup of coffee to Ignacio. “But that’s not the case for today’s big winner! Congrats again Ignacio.”


Ignacio voted for Tessa. “For once, this vote isn’t personal. I recognize you’ve been a nicer person and I appreciate it. You should be proud you’ve changed. Unfortunately, you’re a threat.”


Ignacio blushed and sipped the cup…before spitting it out. “Ugh, this is the worse flavor yet.”

Rhonda smirked. “It’s a bullywug milk cappuccino! Also enjoying this treat is Riley and Ness.”

Riley effortlessly caught her cup. Ness failed to catch hers.


Riley voted for Jasper. “Sorry Brosiden. You were tough, but a little too tough. Like strong beef jerky. Let’s just hope Sweet T stuck to the plan. ”


Ness voted for Jasper. “I know you’re a big fan of the show too, so I hope you can leave happy knowing you were voted out for being the biggest threat.”


Rhonda took two of the three cups left. “Everyone left got a vote. But lucky for you Melissa and Vance, it wasn’t enough to send you home.”

Melissa, still strapped to a board, failed to catch her coffee cup. “Does anyone else think throwing hot coffee at us is a bad idea?”

Vance tipped his hat at Ignacio.


Vance voted for Tessa. “You’re the strongest lass left. I’d admire you…if you didn’t have a mouth bigger than a possum’s yawn.”


Jasper and Tessa turned to each other with wide eyes.

Jasper pointed at himself, but Tessa shook her head.

He nodded and mouthed ‘same’ to her.


Jasper voted for Melissa. “I have no idea why anyone else isn’t voting for you. Maybe it’s because you’re so nice? I do think you’re nice…but you’re also the scariest player left; you’re the frontrunner of this game.”


Tessa voted for Vance. “I do feel a little bad about this…but then I think about how better it’ll smell without your walking flatulence. Sorry.”


“How quickly things change,” Rhonda said. “Our past winners are now in the bottom two. I’m afraid it’s over for one of you…”

Tessa and Jasper shot each other one last look as Rhonda lifted up the final coffee cup…
















































“...You’re safe Jasper.”

The boy caught his coffee cup. He frowned and turned to Tessa.

Tessa sighed and shrugged. “I’ve been in the bottom two so much it was bound to happen eventually.”

Riley started sniffling. “Why? It shouldn’t have turned out like this...”


Melissa is shown moving the mouse back and forth...before settling on Tessa’s face. “I’m so sorry to break our alliance Tessa, especially when it was my idea. But you were so stubborn, I feel like you aren’t as committed. Vance told me about the plan, and I am aware that are five Fireworks left. I think this might be my best game move...I’m really sorry.”


“I can’t believe right after we become friends you have to leave,” Jasper said.

Tessa smiled a little and hugged her friend. “I know, but out of the two of us I’m glad you aren’t going.”

Ness ran over and hugged Tessa. “I’m glad you and Lita and I could start over.”

“Me too,” Tessa replied.

She turned to Riley, who was wiping away tears in her sleeve. “Hey. What happened to no pity parties?”

Riley laughed while still wiping her face. “You got me. I just wish you didn’t have to go.”

“It’s not like I really joined the show for the money anyway,” Tessa stated. “I’m surprised I had as much of chance as I did.”

“Then why did you join?” Jasper asked.

Tessa blushed and looked away. “I did it...to make some friends. So thanks everyone. I'm glad I got to comeback and hang out with you guys."

This time, Tessa waved goodbye as she left the Revolving Doors of Shame with her head held high.

Chapter 23 Neigh Of The Dead[]

In the Pentagram’s arcade, Riley played pinball half-heartedly.

“Hey.”

She turned to see Ignacio walking over. “S’up?”

From behind his back, Ignacio pulled out a paper bag. “‘Brorrito’?”

Riley lit up, snagging the bag and chowing down on the first burrito. “Heck yeah! Thanks Iggy.”

“How are you holding up?”

Riley shrugged. “It sucks Sweet T left, but I’m trying not to mope over it.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Ignacio admitted. “I am sorry that-”

“-Don’t. It was a good move for you. Some good came out of it for me too.”

“How so?”

Riley finished her burrito in one final bite. “Because I know who I want in the final 3; you, me, and Ness.”


“The girl’s alliance is dead,” Riley stated. “Once again Melissa plays the killer. I understand Tessa was being pigheaded, but you didn’t have to vote her off. If Melissa didn’t change her vote, Jasper would’ve left. The plan would’ve worked, we’d still be eliminating the boys. She broke from the plan as much as Tessa. Melissa thinks it was her best move. Fine. Then I’ll do mine and vote her off.”


“Are you serious?” Ignacio asked.

Riley nodded. “We’ve been together this far, and we shouldn’t have split up. If I have to lose against someone I’d want it to be one of you two.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Ignacio replied.

“I don’t know if Loch Ness would join us though,” Riley admitted.

“You don’t think so?”

“I mean maybe she would, but she and Melissa are pretty tight. You’re sharing the penthouse suite with her. Do you think she would?”

Ignacio scratched his chin. “I’d hope so. If you aren’t working with Melissa, she should see we’d have the numbers.”

“Maybe you should bring it up to her,” Riley said. “When you’re snuggling tonight or something.”

Ignacio blushed deeply. “Wh...what? We aren’t, I would never...I may I wouldn’t never, because Ness is a beautiful young lady of course but I don’t...um…”

Riley fall to the floor chuckling. “Oh god Iggy! Sorry to laugh at your crush, but man?”

“Wait, you know?” Ignacio asked.

“Are you kidding?” Riley asked. “You sharing your suite with her, you during the whole wedding challenge, how obviously jealous you were of Andre, you’re-”

-I get it, I’m not subtle,” Ignacio stated. “And you didn’t say anything?”

“Didn’t want to embarrass you,” Riley said. “Guess that still happened though. I know you wanted to keep it secret. You did a good job too...for a little bit.”

“Hope it wasn’t as bad as you and Gris,” Ignacio teased.

Riley rolled her eyes, but smirked. “Okay, you got me. I guess love is alway obvious to other people. So...when are you going to tell her?”

Ignacio’s eyes widened. “Um...uh...well…”

“You are going to tell her, right?”

“I don’t know. I want to but...do you think she likes me?”

Riley paused...then shrugged.

“That’s helpful.”

“I can’t tell,” Riley admitted. “It's hard whether she likes you or is just affected by your sexy magic.”

“Please don’t call it that,” Ignacio said.

“But that’s what it is,” Riley replied. “Listen, Ness likes you as a person. I think it might be like liking you...but I’m split.”

“I don’t want to ask her if she doesn’t feel the same way,” Ignacio said.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Riley asked.

“She says no,” Ignacio replied. “Then she’s consumed with guilt for rejecting me on national TV. She starts blaming herself, psyches herself out of a challenge, decides to vote herself off, then is derided by internet trolls. Or she says yes out of pity for those reasons and regrets it. Either way, she’ll have a breakdown explaining it to a therapist and our friendship is ruined.”

“First off; we’ll all need therapy after this show,” Riley explained. “Second; you know that’s too ridiculous to happen, right? Finally, give Ness some credit. I think being asked out by a hot super model won’t ruin her life.”

“I don’t want to hurt her,” Ignacio said. “Or make things awkward between us.”

“Bottling up your emotions isn’t healthy,” Riley replied. “Plus, if you don’t speak soon, you might regret it.”

Ignacio sighed. “Why are you right?”

“Cause I always am!”

Ignacio smirked. “Like how you said you didn’t like Gris?”

“Just for that I’m eating your brorrito too,” Riley stated, running off with the bag as Ignacio chased her.


At the dining hall, Jasper was eating a peanut butter sandwich on white bread; his favorite naturally.

Vance tipped his cowboy hat as he walked by carrying ropes over his shoulder. “Jasper.”

Jasper spit back up his food.

“What?” Vance asked.

“You...you remembered my name,” Jasper said.

“And?” Vance said.

“It’s just...everyone’s said my name right once today,” Jasper continued. “I don’t know if that’s ever happened.”

Vance sighed and plopped down into the seat next to Jasper. “You know I feel you for Casper, I really do.”

“And there it goes,” Casper sighed.

“I use to feel invisible myself,” Vance stated. “I grew up with three brothers and two sisters. I was never able to stand out till I joined the rodeo.”

“Where you become a star?” Jasper asked.

“Not overnight,” Vance said. “I stank so bad I’d make a maggot gag. But even when they told me to give up, I didn’t quit. Eventually I was a pro. I became Vigorous Vance! The Bucking Bronco! That could be you.”

“A bronco?”

“No bud,” Vance sighed. “A champ! The secret is confidence.”

Jasper frowned. “What do I have to be confident about?”

“Well you’re in the final six on a super popular reality show for starters,” Vance stated. “And while I’m obviously going to win, you should be proud anyway. You don’t even need something to be confident.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just act confident,” Vance stated. “If you act confident, you’ll be confident. You gotta strut like a rooster and crow when the sun’s out.”

“But I’m not-”

“Who cares? Act like it. People will respond to it, they’ll notice it. They’ll notice you. Heck, it may surprise you but sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing! I just act confident and do it anyway.”

“Wow,” Jasper deadpanned.

“I know it’s crazy!”

“So you’re saying I should lie?” Jasper asked.

Vance slaps him upside the head. “Not at all! Don’t go talking with the tongue out of your shoes. It’s not lying to try and believe in yourself.”

Jasper smiled a little. “You’re actually kind of right. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Growing a thick mustache would also help,” Vance added, stroking his. “The mustache oozes confidence. It lets you smell the last meal you ate too.”


“It’s eye-opening when Vance is the one giving you life advice,” Jasper admitted. “Maybe he’s right and I should act more confident. If I acted like a winner, maybe I actually could be the winner…”


“Man I should get my own reality show helping people through stuff,” Vance said. “Dr. Vance. Sounds sexy, don’t it?”


In the kitchen, Melissa was preparing lunch. “Are you sure you don’t want to step in dear?”

Ness stood right outside of the doorway. “We’ve been over this Melissa, kitchens don’t like me.”

“But kitchens-”

Ness stuck her hand in the doorway then immediately retracted it as several knives, heavy pots, and a sledgehammer fell down.

“Point taken,” Melissa replied.

Melissa frowned. “Ness, I am really sorry that I voted off Tessa.”

“It’s okay, I’m not mad. You’ve already apologized too...like five times,” Ness replied. “I understand why you did it.”

“I just feel really bad. It was so shifty of me!”

“I don’t think you’re some villain mastermind,” Ness giggled. “I still trust you. I’ve got your back.”

Ness hugged Melissa as she exited the kitchen.

“Just do me a favor and let me know next time.”

Melissa nodded. “I promise. Honestly, I think I want to go to the Final 2 with you.”

“Really?”

“Of course!” Melissa replied. “You’re my best friend left in this game. Plus I owe it to you for working with me when I needed it.”

Ness forced a smile. “Okay then, let’s do it!”


The jinx followed her friend as they took lunch out to the dining hall. Riley raced in as Ignacio followed and finally snatched the bag.

“Thank you very much,” Ignacio stated.

Ness giggled. “You guys know you have a free lunch here, right?”

“What can I say?” Riley replied. “I never not want a brorrito.”

“More food for me thdn,” Vance replied, making a second plate at the same time.

“It’s funny at six I’m still making portions for nine,” Melissa teased.

“You should go for ten,” Vance said.

“This is why I eat before Vance does,” Jasper joked.

The sound of sirens pierced through their laughter. It took minutes before it finally passed.

“Oh dear,” Melissa said. “I hope that isn’t for here. Not any of those poor interns.”

“The two that are left,” Ness added.

“I suspect it’s for the fire,” Ignacio said. “Most of Washington was closed down. I was fortunate the burrito store was even open.”

“I wonder why,” Jasper asked.

Vance said nothing, but glared off into the distance.

“WHAT? How?”

The newcomers turned to see Rhonda walking in. She was on the phone.

“What did make it out?” She asked. “Hmm...I guess put it with rest of the challenge props in that old warehouse. We’ll figure something out.”

Turning to face the newcomers, she said, “The challenge will be postponed for tomorrow morning.”

She returned to sighing into the phone and left.

Everyone shared a look.


The next morning, the newcomers woke up early. They waited to hear more at the dining hall, but were only met by Toby. He informed them the challenge was pushed back to this afternoon.

“Is something going on Tobster?” Riley asked.

Toby shrugged. “If you have to worry, we’ll let you know.”

He left without saying anything else.

“You think it’s a schedule change?” Jasper asked.

“Maybe another returnee?” Melissa suggested.

“Let’s pray not,” Vance sighed. “Probably just budget cuts.”

“That would explain why the kitchen hasn’t been restocked,” Melissa admitted.


Exactly at 12:00 P.M., the newcomers gathered into the lobby. They were met by Jenny, Toby and an angry Rhonda. She turned and looked at Vance.

“Are you aware of what’s going?” she asked.

“Uh...we’re going to have lunch?” Vance asked.

“No,” Rhonda replied. “Let me give you a little hint; YOUR HORSE IS DESTROYING EVERYTHING!”

“Oh, so when Tinfoil destroys a city he’s my horse,” Vance complained.

“So that’s why the challenge is being stalled,” Riley said.

“Is there a challenge?” Jasper asked.

“Well, we were going to handcuff y’all together,” Rhonda explained. “Do a partners chain gang challenge through the Smithsonian… but it’s been closed because of the horse. So we were going to do a rock and roll themed challenge, but the horse destroyed our stage. And instruments.Then we were going to do a hot air balloon race, but the horse popped the balloons. Then we were going to do a giant barbeque grilling duel challenge, but the horse destroyed the grill. And ate the giant sausages. Then we settled on just who could make a better dinner. But all the grocery stores have been closed, because the horse has pillaged them all!

“So...there’s no challenge today?” Vance asked.

“You wish.”

Rhonda kicked open the doors of the Pentagram to reveal an abandoned Washington D.C. No one was on the streets. Shops were closed, windows were shattered, sirens were ringing in the distance, and small fires were scattered and burning.

“That horse has finally gone too far,” Rhonda said. “Washington, D.C. is in a state of emergency and everything is closed. People are too afraid to leave their homes, but can’t escape the city.”

“That’s horrible!” Melissa cried.

“Right?” Rhonda asked. “I have a show to do! We can’t work under these conditions. And while we are completely and utterly non-liable for its mass destruction, it’s still associated with our brand. We can’t keep doing Genesis as long as it’s running free.”

“But no one can stop it,” Jasper said.

“Well, someone has to,” Rhonda replied. “And that someone is of you! Today’s challenge is to capture that horse. Whoever does wins invincibility and...um...an advantage at the next challenge!”

“Why us?” Jasper asked.

“Because I believe in you six,” Rhonda stated. “I’ve seen what you’ve done, what you’ve been able to overcome on this show. You’re some of the strongest, toughest, smartest people I know.”

The newcomers all shared a look and beamed.

“Also, you’re the only ones available.”

“And we have no other ideas,” Toby stated.

“Plus we have to do some kind of challenge,” Jenny said. “We’ve got a schedule to keep.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Ignacio started, “but what if we got Cynthia? She could take care of it.”

“Too messy,” Rhonda stated. “We’re already dealing with a bunch of different animal rights activists because of her stunts. You need to capture that horse alive.”

“Are they any other rules?” Ness asked.

“I don’t really care how you capture the horse,” Rhonda stated. “You can even work together if you want. But if you try to do it all together and get all six of you invincibility then I’m giving none of you invincibility.”

“But what if none of us can capture it?” Jasper asked.

“Then the show will be relocated somewhere lamer,” Jenny said. “At the expense of the prize money. Or more likely, we’ll just be cancelled.”

“Ain’t no way that’s allowed!” Vance stated.

“Sucks to suck,” Jenny teased. “Now, don’t come back till you have captured the horse!”

Jenny slammed the door and locked it. The newcomers could hear the sound of furniture being barricaded.

“Now what?” Ness asked.

Riley shrugged. “I guess we better figure out a plan.”

Vance stomped his foot. “I’m not having it. I swear on my name, on my honor that I’ll bring in that dang horse! Or my name isn’t-”

Vance was interrupted by a low neigh.

The newcomers slowly turned to see the wild horse staring them down like a matador bull.

Jasper gulped. “Uh oh.”

“Maybe it’s just confused,” Melissa stated. “He was taken from its home and let loose in the city. He’s probably terrified. No one stopped to help him after he started rampaging out of fear.”

Melissa waved at the horse. He ran towards her, spinning backwards and bucking her with his back legs. Melissa was sent slamming into a nearby open dumpster.

“Nope,” Melissa groaned. “It’s just really mean…”

“As the horse expert,” Vance said. “I think we should...run! RUN FOR THE HILLS!”

The other newcomers screamed and scattered as the horse charged at them.


Vance looked out from behind a minivan. “Alright, the coast looks clear.”

He turned to Jasper, who was sitting there. “Why am I here?”

“I need a helping hand,” Vance said. “You’re kind of spineless, so you’ll do perfect.”

“Who said I’d help you?” Jasper asked.

“I figured you’d just be happy to just be included,” Vance replied.

Jasper sighed. “I am. So what do you need me to do?”

“I’m going to need your help to wrangle ol’ Tinfoil,” Vance stated. “It’s about time he and I ended this, once and for all.”


“After Ignacio’s win,” Vance stated. “I officially became the only member of the final seven to not have won invincibility. That’s why I’ve got to win it this time! I’ve got to prove myself! And no other challenge was made for me then this one.”


Jasper frowned as he stood on the sidewalk...wearing a giant carrot suit. “Why am I doing this?”

“What do horses love?” Vance asked from behind a street corner.

“Oats?”

“Carrots!” Vance replied. “So when Tinfoil sees you in that getup he’ll come running to get ya. But I’ve set up trip wires on both sides of you. When he comes, he’ll fall and then...WHAM.”

Vance pointed to a small piano dangling close above Jasper. The rope it was attached to lead to Vance’s hand. “I’ll knock him out cold. It’s a full-proof plan.”

“I’ve already thought of five problems with it,” Jasper said.

“Shush! I think I hear Tinfoil.”

Jasper’s eyes grew wide. “Um, Vance…”

“Shhhhh…”

“But Vance-”

“What? What is so...the horse is behind me, isn’t it?”

“No,” Jasper replied. “It’s above you.”

Vance glanced above him to see Tinfoil standing on an anvil suspended by rope over Vance’s head.

“Aw ****,” Vance muttered.

The horse snorted, releasing the anvil. Jasper jumped back as Vance let go of the piano and it came crashing down. The horse skipped off of Vance and trotted down the street. Jasper flinched, but the horse didn’t even acknowledge him as he walked off.

“Not even in this thing am I noticeable,” Jasper sighed.

“Consider yourself lucky,” Vance groaned. “Do me a favor and fetch a snow shovel. You’re gonna need it to get me up.”


In another part of Washington, Ness tiptoed down the street. She looked back and forth, before approaching a familiar series of storage warehouses.


“Rhonda mentioned she kept all the old challenge props in a warehouse,” Ness stated. “I thought maybe it was one of the warehouses from the alien invasion challenge. I bet it has something I could use to capture that horse. Best of all, no one else will think to use it!”


Ness lifted the storage door to see Ignacio, Riley, and Melissa scrounging through Genesis’s props.


Ness facepalmed. “Of all people, I should know not to tempt fate.”


“Welcome to the horsepocalypse party Loch Ness,” Riley said.

“I guess we all had the same idea,” Ness sighed.

“Appears so,” Ignacio said. “Except Vance and Jasper. Wherever they are…”


Jasper and Vance were painting the side of a building to look like a tunnel.

“Do you really think the horse will believe this is a tunnel?” Jasper asked.

“Not with that attitude,” Vance replied. “Now put some pizzah in your art!”


“Probably something daring,” Melissa stated. She was wearing gauze around her head.

“Are you alright Melissa?” Ness asked. “That horse hit you pretty hard.”

“Thanks Ness, but I’m fine,” Melissa giggled. “Just a teeny, weeny bit of internal bleeding is all.”

“All?”

“Nothing a good cup of tea can’t fix,” the sweetheart replied.

Riley removed a tarp, revealing her go-kart.

“Aww sweet!” Riley stated. “The Autobrobile! I thought they’d scrap him for parts after the engine blew.”

Ness looked through a few boxes. “Hmm. Now where are those tranq-”

She looked up as she heard the the sound of Melissa loading Jenny’s giant tranquizller bazooka from the animal buddy challenge.

“Don’t suppose you have any more tranq guns in there, do you?”

Melissa shook her head. “Sorry, I think animal control kept the others.”

She threw the weapon into a bag containing the water guns and other weapons from the alien invasion. She started lacing skates from the roller derby challenge and threw a helmet over her head. “It’s time for that horse to meet Mrs. Not The Nicest Guy Around.”

“I’m sure he’s quaking in his horseshoes,” Ignacio said.

“Oh, well I don’t want to scare the poor dear…”

“The aliens!” Ness stated. “Maybe I could use the animatronics too-”

“-Sorry Ness.”

Ness turned to see Ignacio loading up two of the killer alien animatronics into their ‘Hovercraft of Doom’, which was actually a golf-cart.

“I believe I can repair these creatures to combat that insane ungulate,” Ignacio replied. “These two are the only ones here sadly.”

“That’s fine,” Ness sighed. “I’m sure I’ll find something…”

Melissa skated away as Ignacio drove off. Riley saluted Ness, before pushing her still broken go-kart, filled with shot-puts from the first challenge's accuracy test.

Ness sighed and went back to rummaging. “There has to be something…”


Vance sighed with pride as he stepped back to admire their work; they had painted a tunnel with a crude drawing of Vance in it.

“Explain again how this works?” Jasper asked.

“The horse will charge at the painting,” Vance explained. “Thinking it’s a real tunnel with me in it. Instead he’ll crash right into a wall. Then I’ll tie him up!”

“Don’t you think he’ll know it’s a building?” Jasper asked.

“He’s just a dumb animal,” Vance replied. “How smart can he be?”

Jasper’s eyes widened. “Smart enough to operate heavy machinery.”

“Huh?”

Jasper and Vance screamed and ducked as Tinfoil rode atop a swinging wrecking ball. Tinfoil neighed and threw back his mane as it destroyed their painting...and caved in the entire building. He jumped off and trotted away.

“He destroyed our masterpiece!” Vance cried out. “That’s it! I’m madder than a boiled owl!”

Vance chased after a horse, who ran into a tunnel. Vance ran after him, only to run face first into a wall the tunnel was painted onto.

“I’ll get another first aid kit,” Jasper sighed.


Riley sighed as she finally pushed her-go kart to the Pentagram. “Finally. Let’s see if anyone’s home.”

Riley knocked on a back door. “Yo Tobster, you here?”

“Riley?”

“Hey bro! How’s it hanging?”

“We’re trying to ration our leftover food,” Toby replied. “What it is?”

“I wouldn’t ask you this because it’d feel like cheating,” Riley said. “But Rhonda said we could do whatever for the challenge. Do you think you can use your mad auto skills to help me?”

Toby sighed, but opened the door. “I guess. Jenny already let Melissa back in for whatever her plan is. You’re the least annoying person in the hotel anyway.”

“Aww, you’re great too man,” Riley replied.

“So what do you need?” Toby asked.

“I want to repair the Autobrobile,” Riley stated.

“I think you’ll need more than that to fight a horse,” Toby said.

Riley smirked. “That’s just the start. I figure that horse is like a monster from a monster movie. There’s only one way to handle a monster destroying a city…”


In the city, Vance was wiring dynamite to a xylophone. “Now Jasper, let me explain my new plan!”

“Please don’t.”

“I have this xylophone rigged to explode when this note is hit,” Vance said, pointing to a green bar. “While ‘Those Endearing Young Charms’ is open in a music book on the xylophone. Tinfoil will play it and hit that note. Then, boom! We got him!”

Jasper started walking away. “I can’t watch…”

“Smart thinking,” Vance said. “We should hide before Tinfoil rears his head…”

Vance grabbed Jasper’s arm and pulled him behind a dumpster. “There he is now!”

Tinfoil trotted up and noticed the xylophone. He rolled his eyes. Grabbing a stick in his mouth, he began to play.

“He’s actually doing it?” Jasper asked.

“I told ya!” Vance hooted. “When have I ever been wrong?”

“Do you want me to answer that?”

Just as Tinfoil was about to play the last note, he snickered. With a kick of his back legs he sent the xylophone flying...right into Vance and Jasper, pinning them against a wall.

Ow.”

“At least the dynamite didn’t-”

Tinfoil tossed the mallet, landing it on the last note.

BOOM.

Vance and Jasper coughed up smoke.

Ow. Again.”

“I always hated that song,” Vance sighed.


At the Pentagram, Ness climbed in through a window. “Ha! I hope I’m not too late. There’s only problem with this. I need to...use the kitchen.”

Ness kicked open the door and gulped; the oven and stove lit on fire, the plates began quaking, the sinks started overflowing and all the cabinet doors and drawers swung open and closed.

“I can do this! I have to! It’s time to get baking...And maybe make a nice lunch too.”


Meanwhile, Vance and Jasper were looting a costume store.

“Isn’t this stealing?” Jasper asked.

“It’s borrowing,” Vance replied. “We’ll return it after we capture that horse. It has to be here...ah-ha!”

Moments later, Jasper was in the back half of a zebra costume. “I actually miss the carrot outfit.”

Vance was applying makeup to the horse’s head. “There we go! With some eyelashes and lipstick, we’re clearly a lady.”

“Do I still have to wear pumps in this?” Jasper asked.

“Of course you have to wear pumps!” Vance shouted. “We want to seem classy.”

“Can we not try and seduce Tinfoil as another horse,” Jasper sighed.

“Zebra,” Vance replied. “That way we’ll be more exotic. We’ll be so irresistible, he’ll come down to us with guard off and then...wham! I’ll knock him out.”

Vance throw on the head and joined up with Jasper to form a poorly looking zebra. Vance adjusted their mane with his hoof. “Now let’s strut our stuff Jasper!”

“I knew I should’ve stayed home today…”


On the streets, Tinfoil was stomping cars.

“Yoo-hoo!”

Tinfoil turns to see Vance and Jasper’s zebra costume dancing. Tinfoil’s jaw immediately drops. He whistled and ran over to the ‘lady’ equine. He nuzzled her nose...as Vance smacked him with a frying pan.

“Bullseye!”

Tinfoil fell to the ground...only to get right back up. He neighed with delight, taking the zebra into his arms. Vance tried to use the frying pan again, but Tinfoil snatched it and tosses it away. He then kissed the horse mask.

“Oh no…”

“For once I think your plan worked too well,” Jasper sighed.


In a few minutes, the ‘zebra’ was wearing a wedding dressed and tied up to a fence pole. Tinfoil brayed at his new bride.

“Whelp, looks like we’re marrying a horse Jasper,” Vance stated.

“Vance!”

“Oh quit whining,” Vance replied. “We’ll get out of this. Worst case scenario we’ll train our colts to help us.”

“I haven’t even had my first kiss,” Jasper said.

Vance pouted, but threw off his mask. “Surprise my former steed; You’ve been duped! It was I, Vance, pretending to be a zebra. Also, Jasper’s playing the butt.”

“Thanks for remembering.”

“So call the wedding off and surrender to my superior smarts,” Vance stated.

Tinfoil stared...then shrugged.

“Uh oh,” Vance said. “I don’t think he cares.”

“What?”

“He basically said ‘oh well, nobody’s perfect,” Vance replied. “My sexiness truly is a gift and a curse!”

Tinfoil whinnied and grabbed the pole in his teeth.

“Pardon me Mr. Horse…”

The horse grunted. It turned around to see Melissa waving at him.

She was dressed in pink camo pants, her shirt sleeves now torn. She was still wearing the helmet and roller skates. A pink bandana was tied around her head. Strips of black were painted under eyes...along with face-paint in the shape of a heart. A bandolier of water guns was strapped to her chest, with more weapons on her back.

“...but are you ready for round two?”

“Melissa?” Vance asked. “What are you wearing?”

“Do you like it?” she asked. “I wanted to dress the part for the challenge. I even got an edgy, temporary tattoo!”

Melissa showed off a little gingerbread man on her left shoulder. It said ‘Tough Cookie’.

The horse rolled his eyes, before stomping the ground.

“Vance is actually my friend, so I’d like if you please leave him alone,” Melissa stated.

“Jasper’s also here,” Vance said.

“Oh,” Melissa said. “Hi Jasper!”

“Hi.”

The horse tossed his captives aside. He neighed and charged.

“How about you say hello to my little friend instead!”

Melissa cocked two water machine guns and started firing. The horse tripped as his front hoof was stuck in some sticky substance.

“I’ve loaded these guns with my super, secret recipe for extra thick tapioca pudding!” Melissa replied. “Even Vance needs five minutes to finish chewing it.”

“I told ya I just hadn’t stretched my jaws yet!”

“Now say hello to another one of my little friends…”

Melissa whipped out the tranquilizer bazooka and started blasting. “Rarrrrrrrrr!”

The horse brayed; using its back hoofs, he deflected every tranq dart like he was using kung-fu. Melissa looked down to see three tranq darts in her leg. “Not again.”

Melisa fell to the ground as her legs gave out. The horse, finally freeing his hoof, trotted over to Melissa. With a gentle shove and a sadistic grin, it sent Melissa rolling down the streets. “Ahhhhhhh! I should have made more pudding…”

The horse picked up his captured bride again.

“Melissa!” Vance shouted. “Noooooo! ...Did she really not have anymore pudding for me?”

The horse was about to leave, but froze. A familiar, metallic growl echoed.

The horse was suddenly rushed as a one of the Invaders tackled him into a building.

From the roof of building, Ignacio moved the controls of the animatronic while watching through propped up binoculars. “I hope no one minds if I bring some science fiction to this western.”

Around the corner, the other alien held a muzzle in its stinger tail. It launched, but Tinfoil tossed his head back and forth. Ignacio sighed, trying to move the controller to match the horse’s sporadic movements.

The horse finally bucked free of the other alien. He dashed off, swishing his tail to tease the Invaders. They tried to circle him once more.

“That’s it,” Ignacio muttered. We’re closing in…”

Tinfoil didn’t move as the Invaders got closer. As they were just within tail’s distance, he stepped aside to reveal a fire hydrant beside him.

“Oh no,” Ignacio muttered.

With another kick of his back legs, the horse freed the hydrant. Water started gushing and sprayed the lead Invader. It short-circuited in seconds.

The horse turned and tackled the other Invader. He pulled it into the water by its tail, before kicking it into the sky.

Ignacio gulped. “So much for that plan. At least I’m safe up…”

Ignacio watched as Tinfoil winked at him. The model looked up to see the second Invader crashing down on him. He sighed as it shocked him.

Tinfoil snorted.

“This is insane!” Jasper yelled. “Can nothing stop this horse?”

“I can’t!”

The horse turned to see Ness standing there, forcing a smile. She already looked roughed up, with a new black eye and gauze all around her. She held out a carrot cake.

“I thought I’d make a peace offering,” Ness said. “A carrot cake just for you! Oats too. I know I can’t beat you, but I can respect you. So what do you say? Every wedding needs a cake, right?”

Tinfoil smiled...then stomped on Ness’ cake.

“You knew that was a trap, huh?” Ness sighed.

The horse headbutted Ness into a gutter. He looked around, waiting for someone to step out.

“Anyone else left to save us?” Jasper asked.

A tumbleweed blew by.

The horse smirked and grabbed the pole again...only to sigh at the sound of honking.

“Sorry I’m late dudes,” Riley yelled out. “My ride was in the shop.”

Riley drove up in her Autobrobile and shot a finger gun at Vance.

“That’s it?” Vance asked. “A car? Tinfoil stomps on cars for fun!”

Riley smirked. “Like I told Toby, this horse is a monster attacking a city and there’s only one way to fight a monster…”

Riley pressed a button in her kart. It shook and started shifting...until it became a fighting robot. It was a few feet taller than Tinfoil and looked similar to Riley herself.

“...is with a giant robot. Allow me to introduce; The Bro-bot!”

Even the horse’s eyes widened at this, but he quickly took a charging position.

“Bring it pachyderm,” Riley teased.

The horse bolted towards Riley. Pressing another button, cannons appeared out of Brobot’s eyes. They fired shot put balls, but Tinfoil dodged them. He jumped into the air, flipping and preparing a back kick.

Riley blocked and punched the horse into a dump.

“That all you got?” Riley asked.

The horse brayed and charged again. Riley swung, but the horse ducked and slide under her. It jumped on the robot’s head and began stomping on it.

“I don’t think so!”

Brobot charged forward, then suddenly halted. The horse was flung off, but landed on his hooves. The robot ran towards the horse, preparing to tackle him, but the horse jumped out of the way. He sneered at Riley.

Tinfoil charged at Riley again. They traded blows, from fists to hoofs like a kung-fu movie. Both panted as they stared each other down.

“Impressive Tinfoil,” Riley stated. “But this ends now.”

Brobot held out its arm; a giant net fired from it. Tinfoil tried to jump, but the net overtook him. Riley pressed another button and the arm fired off like a rocket. It launched the horse straight into a fountain. Tinfoil tried to stand, but slumped. He closed its eyes.

“YES!” Riley cheered. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

“Dang!” Vance cried. “I have to admit that mighty impressive.”

“Can we get out of this costume now?” Jasper asked.


Riley maneuvered her robot over to the fountain. It reached for its arm, but Tinfoil suddenly sprang up. Grabbing the arm in his mouth, he started punching Brobot over and over again with it.

“This horse doesn’t know when to quit,” Riley sighed.

Tinfoil tossed the arm aside and head butted the battle bot into a street lamp. Brobot got to its feet, but the lamp came crashing on top of it, crushing its legs.

“Crap,” Riley stated. “I’m stuck. I can’t break free!”

“You get use to it,” Vance sighed.

Holding his head high, Tinfoil trotted away. He sniffed the air and stopped. He followed the scent to a paper bag. From inside he pulled out a grilled cheese.

“Don’t,” Ness cried out from the gutter. “That’s my lunch. I actually made it myself.”

The horse smirked and picked up the sandwich in its mouth.

“You don’t want to do that,” Ness said. “Please.”

Tinfoil threw the sandwich up the air, catching it in his mouth and swallowing it whole. He licked his lips and turned his head to Ness. However, he stumbled as ihe tried to walk away.

“I told you didn’t want to do that,” Ness said.

Tinfoil gave out a soft neigh as it tried to stand, but fell to the ground again. Ness smirked now, walking over to the horse.

“I did find something in that warehouse,” Ness stated. “The sleeping pills from the Awake-a-thon specifically. I figured you’d see through the cake, but be petty enough to eat my lunch. So I grounded them all up and baked them into...you’re asleep already, huh?”

Tinfoil was snoozing, past out on the ground.


Soon animal control arrived. Tinfoil had been strapped to a table and had a Hannibal Lecter-style muzzle on his face. The newcomers and hosts stood around as they prepared to haul him off.

“Thank goodness you Total Drama folks were able to stop that rampage,” an officer said. “We still don’t know how this horse got here.”

“Yup, sure is a mystery,” Vance said with a forced smile.

“We were just innocent bystanders who wanted to set a good example for the kids at home,” Rhonda said. “With no connection to this incident or alternative motives.”

“I think I’m going to gag,” Riley whispered.

Ness watched Tinfoil as he gave her the stink eye. “Hold on it minute, look at his upper left hoof. It’s inflamed!”

Ness bent down, trying to move the hoof. Tinfoil neighed loudly, but couldn’t move as Ness pulled something out of his hoof.

Suddenly, Tinfoil’s whole body calmed. It neighed happily and stuck its tongue out to lick Ness’ face.

“Hehe,” Ness giggled. “I think this stone had become trapped in his hoof! It was causing him pain every time it walked. He may even have a serious infection from that being lodged in there.”

“You mean it almost destroyed all of Washington, D.C. because it had a rock in his foot?” Riley asked. “That...sounds legit. I’d be the same way if a rock was in my shoe.”

“Thank goodness Ness wants to be a veterinarian,” Melissa sighed.

“I think this horse maybe the first animal that actually likes her,” Ignacio whispered.

“Wait a minute,” Jasper said. “That’s not a rock! That’s a rhinestone.”

Vance yanked it from Ness’ hands. “Oh yeah! I’ve been looking for this ever since it fell off my belt! Uh, I mean I’ve never seen this before, or that horse…”

“What’s going to happen to Tinfoil now?” Ness asked. “You’re not going to lock him in a cell forever are you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the officer laughed. “We only do that to people. Tinfoil will be released to an animal sanctuary, where wild horses roam. That way he’ll never bother people again.”

The officer turned and glared at Vance. “Or be bothered by people…”

“I’m just glad this is all over,” Ignacio sighed.

“Yeah, luckily there aren’t any other wild animals or creatures running around Washington,” the officer said.

Flashback to the first challenge:

“Now,” Rhonda says. “The first part of your challenge is to get to Lincoln Memorial while staying ahead of the obstacles.”

“Obstacles?” Hayden asked.

Rhonda snapped her fingers. Two crates fell from the ceiling, shaking and echoing screams. Out of the crates came, a rhino, a lion, a tiger, a bear (oh my), a shark, a murder of crows, a mass of scarabs, a chainsaw wielding maniac, a chicken, Jenny and Toby on an ATV, a grandma, an animatronic dinosaur, a hipster, a monster truck, a komodo dragon, a mouse, a skunk, a vulture, a large tortoise, a girl scout, a wooly mammoth beaver, a wildebeest stampede and the Brady Bunch.

“Ah yes,” Hayden replied, “those obstacles. Well, thank you for clearing that up and, EVERYONE RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

The contestants bolted out as the ‘obstacles’ chased after them.

Bethany and Ness turned around to see citizens being terrorized by the obstacles, running for their lives.

“Oops,” Rhonda said, “we should have had a plan to wrangle them back up…Eh.”

End of flashback

“Yup,” Rhonda said. “Nothing else running around terrorizing Washington. Anyway, congratulations to Ness for her second win! She wins the luxury suite, invincibility, and an advantage at the next challenge! The rest of you get the satisfaction of trying hard and getting nothing.”

“Like this show with viewers,” Jenny added.

“Prepare for elimination tonight,” Rhonda continued. “We’re finally headed to the final five!”


Vance sighed. “I am glad that Tinfoil is taken care of, it’s a huge burden off of my back. But...I don’t know...I feel like I’ve been trying this whole time to catch that dang horse. I learned how to read to make better traps. I felt like this challenge had been what it had all been building towards...and I failed. Ain’t that a kick in the pants.”


The newcomers gathered at the Haunted Internet Cafe.

“Tonight’s blend is a mocha made with real horse’s milk,” Rhonda said. “Don’t ask us how we got it. The first coffee cup goes to Ness.”

The jinx smiled and caught her cup.

“Then...Melissa and Jasper.”

Melissa’s cup bounced off her; she was once again strapped to a board while tranquizlied. Jasper barely registered his cup.

“And Riley…”

The bro seemed to be about to pass-out.

“And the final coffee cup goes to…”





















“...Ignacio. Sorry Vance; it’s the end of the line.”

Vance slumped in the seat and sighed. “Wow. I...I can’t believe it. Why me? Was I an easy target? Or y’all just didn’t like me?”

“It’s not that,” Jasper said. “It...well…”

“They saw you as a threat,” Melissa quickly said.

“Wait, really?” Vance asked.

“Of...course we did,” Ness added. “You were too big a threat to keep around.”

Melissa nodded at Ignacio and Riley.

“How?” Vance asked.

“Well,” Riley said. “You were the one who orchestrated Tessa’s blindside.”

“And you were so close to winning the challenge,” Jasper added. “If you tried that hard at the next few, you could have done an immunity run and gotten to the end.”

“You were targeting me,” Ignacio said. “That’s dangerous to my game. I had to get you before you would've gotten me.”

“I was trying to,” Vance stated. “I guess I was the biggest threat left after all.”

“Yup,” Ness said.

“Clearly,” Ignacio agreed.

“I wouldn’t want to go against you in the final 2,” Riley said.

“That’s why you’re the Bucking Bronco,” Jasper stated.

Vance smiled, standing proudly. “I'll probably go down as the most robbed player in history. I was so close too.”

Riley, Ignacio, Jasper and Ness, all tired, scratched up, and bandaged shared a look.


“I mean Vance did send Tessa home,” Riley said. “But I’m more upset with Melissa than him. Yet I couldn’t help but vote for him…”


“Vance was one of the last Molting Eagles,” Ignacio admitted. “I knew our previous collaboration was temporary; Vance still had it out for me. Why else am I in the bottom 2? But more than that…”


“...It was the horse,” Jasper said. “We spent all day being tormented and attacked because Vance brought that horse…”


“Vance didn’t mean to ravage most of Washington, D.C.,” Ness stated. “But he did and we had to spend all day dealing with it. It just seemed fair to vote for him. Sorry Vance.”


Melissa stood up and hugged her old teammate. “I’m so sorry Vance. I tried to get the votes but-”

“-It couldn’t be helped,” Vance interrupted. “I couldn’t not make myself a big target. I was too good! You know that’s always been my biggest flaw.”

Melissa giggled. “Of course.”

In her ear Vance whispered, “Besides, I’m glad it was me over you. I think those Fireworks have regrouped. You can take the newcomer out of the teams, but you can’t take the teams out the newcomers. You follow?”

Melissa nodded. “I’ll be careful. I promise to do our team proud as the last Molting Eagle.”

Vance patted her on the head. “You already have.”


Outside, the other newcomers and hosts gathered as Vance prepared to take his leave.

Melissa handed him a dish wrapped in tinfoil. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to give you this, but I baked you a cake to go, it’s-.

Vance burped. “Delicious! Thanks Melissa! I’m going to miss your cooking. And you.”

Melissa smiled. “I’m going to miss your burps.”

I’ve had a good ol’ time,” Vance admitted. “I even learned a lot about myself. I may not come from the best place, but that don’t matter; I’m still a champion.”

Vance turned to everyone and waved his hat. “Alright, I’m going. It’s really anyone’s game now! So I expect all y’all to be fighting like ducks in a chicken coop! Melissa, don’t be down on yourself. Ness, don’t let your luck hold you back. Jasper, be more confident. Riley, stay chill. And for pete’s sake, tell her already Iggy!”

Ignacio blushed. “Really? Even Vance realizes it?”

“Realizes what?” Ness asked.

Riley face palmed.

“Now I’ve got some old friends to see,” Vance stated. “See y’all around.”

Vance ran and jumped on top of large, black horse. He tipped his hat at the others and cried out one last, “Yeehaw!”

Then Vance rode off into the sunset.








“Hey...when did Vance get a new horse?” Jasper asked.

Everyone’s eyes widened as they ran back into the hotel.

Chapter 24 How I Met Your Brother[]

The newcomers sat in the cafeteria, enjoying some lunch. 

Riley sat next to Jasper whispering, as Ness told a story to Ignacio at the other end. Melissa hummed inside the kitchen, before bringing out sandwiches.

Melissa took a seat next to Riley. Riley raised an eyebrow, nodding at Jasper. Jasper walked off.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Melissa stated. 

“Nah, just shooting the breeze,” Riley said. “You need something, Mel?”

“I just felt like we needed to talk,” Melissa admitted. “I’m worried you’re still mad about Tessa’s elimination.”

Riley shrugged. “It’s no biggie. You just betrayed the alliance you formed. I’m over it.”

Melissa gulped. “I appreciate that, and you have every right to be mad.”

“But I’m totally not though,” Riley replied. 

“Uh huh,” Melissa said. “Well, if you still wanted to make the girl’s alliance work we can! I respect you and I love Ness. So how about an all female final three?”

Riley tapped her chin in thought. “That’s definitely a thing we could do. We do have the numbers over the guys. We could have also done a female final four when we had the numbers over the guys. There’s a lot of options really…”


“I feel so sleazy,” Melissa admitted. “No offense to anyone who happens to sleaze of course. I just felt so rude trying to make peace...and make a final 3 deal. With poor Vance’s undeserved elimination, I’m the sole Eagle left. And maybe I’m being paranoid, but I think Riley might still be mad at me.”


“I’m way mad at her,” Riley stated. “Melissa’s offer was cute, but I already told Iggy we’re going the distance. Me, him, Ness, and Jasper can form a Fizzled Fireworks final four. Ha, I bet Gris would be happy to hear that…” 


“Hey Jasper!”

Jasper looked back. Ness and Ignacio waved at him.

“What’s up?”

“You wanna finish lunch with us?” Ignacio asked. “Ness was just telling me about Total Drama’s original third season. Total Drama: The Musical…”

Total Drama World Tour,” Ness corrected. “Rumor is they changed the name in post-production.”

“Oh man,” Jasper said, “I love the third season! I mean the first is probably one of my faves.”

“That’s what Ness said,” Igncio stated. “It’s her favorite. How have I never seen this show?”


The first day in the subway,” Jasper said, “Jenny admitted I only got cast cause they thought my older brother was auditioning. ...that stung. I don’t know what’s worse; the reason I’m here is to be fodder or there is no reason I’m here. It’s just an accident. But maybe it was a happy accident? I’m just really glad I’m here and that now everyone seems to know me… I feel like somebody. It’s a new feeling.”


“Attention newcomers,” Rhonda announced over the P.A. “Finish your lunch and meet us at the old opera house downstairs in thirty! Have we got something for you.”

“Is that a good something or a bad something?” Ignacio asked.

“When has it been good,” Riley teased.

“Only one way to found out,” Jasper admitted.


The newcomers soon took their seats in the auditorium. Rhonda, Jenny, and Toby stood in front of the closed and still singed curtains.

“Curtains closed,” Ness whispered. “Means some kind of reveal.”

“Maybe it’ll be a fun challenge?” Melissa asked. “Or safe? Like stamp licking?”

Rhonda cleared her throat, silencing the girls. “Thank you. Now, today’s plans were originally going to be different. Before our unexpected third returnee, we were going to have the losing newcomers compete in a challenge to return at the final five. But we don’t have time for that now.”

The final five sighed in relief.

“In hindsight, having someone return with only a few eliminations before the finale might not be that satisfying for the fans,” Rhonda admitted, “...but what we have today is even more exciting!”

“More exciting?” Ness asked, before gulping.

Rhonda beamed. “It’s been a long time in the making. After several failed attempts to get it to happen, we've finally gotten a certain special guest to appear!”

“Forget Teresa, or that Mandy Cucumber and her friend what’s his name,” Jenny said. “This celebrity guest puts those D-list losers in their place! It’s the one, the only…”

The newcomers turned as the curtains parted...and no one was there. They stood there looking.

Riley scratched her head. “So, uh…”

Suddenly, a ton of spotlights shone at the middle of the stage. A three-tiered platform burst out of the ground. At the top was a handsome teen, with jet black gelled hair. He wore a button down red shirt, all the buttons undone to better reveal his tanned and chiseled abs, and tight jeans. He flashed a smile with his perfect white teeth and winked.

“...Blainerson McManly!”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Ness squealed. Her mouth started foaming.

“You have to be kidding me,” Jasper sighed.

Melissa clapped. “Wonderful entrance Mr. McManly.”

“He’s not that big a deal,” Ignacio said.

“Careful Iggy, you’re turning green with envy,” Riley said. 

Blainerson backflipped off the top onto the stage. “Thanks for that wonderful introduction…”

He looked down at something written at his hand. “Ron-Duh. It’s great to be on the show. I’d say I’ve watched it, but then I’d be lying.”

“How did you get an actual famous person on this show?” Riley asked.

“He expressed interest to us in appearing,” Rhonda said. “Our schedules just never lined up.”

“So he was too busy to make an appearance,” Ignacio whispered.

“Why did you want us to meet him at the mall?” Melissa asked. “Just trying to force the cameo?”

“Mall?” Blainerson asked.

“Not important,” Rhonda said. “What is important is that you’re here, famous teen idol that young people are crazy for! And you have some exciting news!”

“That I do,” Blainerson stated. “This show’s network wants me to host my own game show next Fall. And I said...yes!”

Blainerson flashed a smile. Everyone stared as he stood there, still smiling. 

“So you’re here...because?” Melissa asked.

“Oh yeah,” Blainerson said. “To prepare for my new show, I’ll be hosting your challenge.”

“Really?” Jasper asked.

“I know, it’s exciting,” Blainerson admitted, winking at the newcomers again.  

Ness swooned, falling against Ignacio. “Oh Iggy, isn’t Blainerson just like...the hottest guy ever?”

Ignacio rolled his eyes. 


“The one time I wouldn’t mind being seen as super attractive,” Ignacio said, “I couldn’t be more invisible to Ness than...um...Jasper is to most people.”


“The challenge will be based on my new game show.”

“Please be about going on a date,” Ness whispered. “Please, please, please…”

“So get ready for, ‘Untitled Project’...”

Blainerson paused dramatically, then turned to Rhonda. “We haven’t decided on a title, but it’s coming. Just digitally insert it later, kay?”

“You got it,” Rhonda said. “If you need anything, we’ll be backstage. You’re killing it!”

“I know,” he replied. “Somebody arrest me before it becomes a massacre. Haha, get it? Cause I’m killing it.”

“Ooh, I do get it,” Ness said.

Jasper rolled his eyes. 


The trio of hosts moved backstage.

“I can’t believe we actually got him!” Rhonda whispered.

“Our ratings will soar through the roof!” Jenny cheered.

“Better than that,” Rhonda said. “Blainerson’s game show is premiering in the network’s fall lineup; that means our second season will be airing in the same block! His popularity will give us viewers!” 

“Does anyone remember how he contacted us?” Toby asked.

“Who cares?” Jenny replied. “We got him!”


Blainerson clapped his hands; the stage suddenly shifted into a colosseum-like arena. Blainerson’s grinning face was in the center, in a closed-off area. Blainerson overlooked everyone in a golden throne on top of a raised platform. A matching silver throne sat next to him.

On the arm of his throne, there was a jar with cards in it. 

Blainerson winked at the camera. “The way this works is simple. Each round, I’ll randomly select a competition from this jar. You’ll all vote for one person to compete in it. Whoever this unlucky soul is picks their opponent. Then it's a head to head competition! We'll do this until only one is left standing.”

The newcomers shrugged.

“Great! Love the enthusiasm, but also the nerves.”

Blainerson looked down at the writing on his hands. “Now then, is there a… Ness?”

“OH MY GOD HE SAID MY NAME!” Ness cried out, fainting on top of Ignacio.

“Is that them?” Blainerson asked.


“I thought meeting Pascal and Andre was cool,” Ness admitted. “But actually meeting my favorite musician? While competing at the final five on my favorite TV show? I don’t think I’ve ever been this lucky! The world will probably balance it out so...I’ll probably end up dead by tomorrow. Still, worth it!”


“You’ve won an advantage for this challenge,” Blainerson explained. “So you’ll be immune for this first round. For your pleasure, take a seat next to me.” 

“GRHERDRRRRBBBDRRRRR,” Ness mumbled as she stumbled next to Blainerson and took a seat in the silver throne. 

“Do you have a medical condition I should know about?” Blainerson asked. 

“I just can’t believe I’m actually meeting you,” Ness giggled. “You hair is even more perfectly quaffed in person.”

“Thank you,” Blainerson replied. “I get that more often than most people. You’re pretty cute yourself. Especially for a girl with braces.”

“Heehee thanks...I think?”

“I thought this was Total Drama not The Blainerson Show,” Jasper said. “Can we get on with it?”

“The Blainerson Show?” Blainerson asked. “Ooh! That would be a great name for the game show starring me, Blainerson. That’s why we’d call it the Blainerson Show...”

“I can’t believe you, you-,” Jasper sighed.

“-I know, I’m unbelievable,” Blainerson replied. “but we need to get on with it. So for the first challenge…”

Blainerson drew a card. He raised his eyebrows. “This challenge is all about one thing; brains. Now under each of your chairs you’ll find...an autographed picture of me! And also a PDA; use it to vote for who you want to compete!”

Everyone reached under their seats. Only Ness actually went for the autographed photo. Eventually, everyone voted.

A cue card printed out from the other arm of Blainerson’s throne. “And our first loser is...Ignacio."


Riley smirked and rubbed her hands together. “This is perfect! The goal is to make sure Melissa loses the challenge; then we can vote all vote her off. That’s why Iggy had to be chosen. He can pick Melissa, and with his brains he’ll win for sure! It’s fool-proof!”


Ignacio stood at the stage. Ness winked at him, causing him to blush.

“Alright Ignacio,” Blainerson said. “Whose going to be your opponent?”

“I chose...Riley.”

“Ha, ha, ha...what?” Riley asked.

Riley was pulled up to the stage by interns and plopped next to Ignacio.

“What gives dude?” she whispered. “Why not someone we want to lose?”

“Sorry Ry,” Ignacio replied. “But I need another invincibility win.”


“And maybe impress Ness with it,” Ignacio admitted.


“I just wanted my victory to be certain.”

“Fine,” Riley said. “Wait a minute...certain? What are you trying to say?”

Ignacio forced a smile. “Well, uh…”

“Enough chit chat,” Blainerson said. “Let’s get to your competition!”

From underneath stage, two sleek conveyor belts surfaced on the left and right side. A lever connected to the two belts also surfaced next to Blainerson. 

An intern moved Riley and Ignacio to opposite sides. Each had a bib tied around their neck and a fork and knife placed in their hands.

“What’s going on?” Ignacio asked.

“Right?” Riley said. “When did we get this many interns?”

“Round one is all brains,” Blainerson explained. “Specifically, it’s all about eating brains. Welcome to Brain Apetit!”

“I regret this,” Ignacio sighed.

“Oh, you will,” Riley said. 

“My personal chefs have baked bunches of brains for your dining experience,” Blainerson explained. “We’ll be serving them via conveyor belt. The first to let a brain drop loses.”

Blainerson flipped the lever. Slowly, a small, steaming mass of grey matter came out of the conveyor belt. 

Ignacio cut off a chunk and forced it down. “Well, it wasn’t that bad.”

Riley tossed aside her silverware. With one hand she picked up the brain and took a bite. “Mmm! Taste like smarts.”

The quickly finished eating.

“How were those monkey brains?” Blainerson asked. 

Ignacio shrugged. “Eh.”

Riley burped. “Honestly? Give your chefs a pay raise dude.” 

Blainerson frowned. “I was hoping you’d be more disgusted.”

“This isn’t the first gross meal we’ve had,” Riley replied.

“It was the most well made though,” Ignacio said.

“If it makes you feel better I’m disgusted,” Melissa admitted, covering her eyes.

He pushed the lever further. The belt sped up. Out came smaller brains. Ignacio and Riley popped them into their mouths. 

“Don’t worry,” Blainerson said. “Squirrel is just the appetizer. We also have goat brain soup to go with your meal.

Ignacio and Riley were already chugging the soup by the bowl.

Blainerson gritted his teeth. He swung the lever, far as it would go. Fish brains flew out. Ignacio rushed to stuff his mouth. Riley just sat at the end of the belt, catching them in her mouth before they fell off.

Melissa finally ran up out of her seat, her face ripened green.

“Ugh,” Ignacio groaned, holding his stomach. 

“Give up Iggy!” Riley said in-between bites. 

“Never,” Ignacio whined, still trying to fill his face. 

As he did, he dropped a brain that immediately speed off the belt. “Aww ****.”

“We have a winner!” Blainerson said. 

“Woo!” Riley cheered, tossing another brain and catching it in her mouth. 


Melissa returned to her seat, clearing her throat. “Please tell me it’s over.”

“It’s over alright,” Ignacio sighed, taking his seat.

“Sorry Iglesias, but Riley won,” Blainerson said.

“It’s Ignacio,” Ness corrected.

“It sure is,” Blainerson said. “Now I need you to leave. For winning round one, Riley is exempt from competing in round two and can sit in the throne.”

“Sweet!” Riley said, jumping into the seat. 

She offered Blainerson a brain. “Want some?”

"I’ll pass.”

Riley shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

The next competition is about having a need for speed," Blainerson said. "Now everyone but Igesias can vote for the next competitor.”

In under a minute, the results were in. “And the next competitor is...Jasper!”

Blainerson tapped his chin. “Jasper? Hmm...why does that sound familiar?”

Jasper walked up to the stage. “Really? Really? You still haven’t recognized me?”

“Wait a minute,” Blainerson said. “Jasper?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” Jasper said.

“You two know each other?” Melissa asked.

Jasper hung his head and sighed. “Yes. Blainerson McManly...is my older brother.”

Everyone gasped.


“Ooh yeah,” Jenny said from behind the curtain. “That’s how we got in contact with Blainerson.”

“How could we forget Blainerson and Jagger were related?” Rhonda asked. 

The co-hosts shrugged.


“Why didn’t you tell us?” Melissa asked.

“You haven’t told anyone I’m your brother?” Blainerson asked. “That’s the first thing I’d tell people if I were you.”

Jasper glared. “I had my reasons.”


“Of course I don’t tell people my brother’s famous,” Jasper said. “Either it makes me even more invisible, or people only remember me for my brother. They pretend to like me...just to meet him. For once I was finally making a name for myself, being remembered for who I was. Now everyone watching and competing will only remember me as Blainerson’s brother.”


“What are you doing here bro?” Blainerson asked.

“I’ve been competing on Total Drama,” Jasper said. “Remember, it’s my favorite show?”

“Uhh...”

“You crashed my audition tape?”

“Um…”

“You drove me to the airport.”

“Recently?”

“I’ve been here for over two months,” Jasper stated. “Didn’t you notice I was gone?”

“It was kind of quiet at home,” Blainerson said. “That’s not different than when you’re there though, haha. Guess I’ll tell Mom and Dad I’ve seen you, huh?”

Jasper sighed. “Why I am surprised?”

"It’s nice to see you doing something for once Jasper,” Blainerson said. “Good luck bro, but I do have to be impartial. So, who will you compete against?”

“I don’t know...,” Jasper said. 

Riley winked at Jasper. 

“Melissa for totally random reasons…”

Melissa smiled and skipped up to the stage. “I think I can handle a race!”

“Sorry Melisandre,” Blainerson stated. “But it’s not you who needs speed.”

Melissa and Jasper shared a look. 


In the Pentagram’s courtyard interns had reconstructed the set. Even...especially the thrones were present, Blainerson’s looking a little bigger than before. Everyone gathered around it.

In the center was centrifugal ride, with a circular platform connected to a motor. Riders were strapped to the cage-like wall as it spun at high speeds. This ride had a radioactive waste sign on it, with a design not unlike something from a post-apocalyptic wasteland. 

“This Round-Up ride is called the Pukeclear Reactor,” Blainerson explained. “It was decommissioned for failing safety standards, but my staff...or your staff, sorry, fixed it. So now it barely passes the safety standards.”

“I’d be lying if I didn't expect that,” Melissa sighed. 

“This thing will slowly increase in speed until it reaches Zero Gs,” Blainerson continued. “Whoever can survive longest without ralphing wins.”

The two newcomers rushed inside the ride.

“This’ll be easy!” Jasper said. “With Melissa’s stomach, I’ve got this in the bag.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Melissa replied.

“No offense, but my stomach beat you in the stamina challenge before.”

“That’s true...but you're forgetting I just threw up; I have an empty stomach. It’ll take a lot for me to lose it again...maybe enough time for you to lose yours.”

Jasper’s eyes grew wide as the ride started. 

“You having fun?” Blainerson called.

“Actually, yes!” Melissa cheered. “Thank you for asking Mr. Blainerson!”

Blainerson pouted as he threw yet another lever, turning up the speed. 

“Wheeeeeeee!” Melissa squealed. 

“Aw crap,” Riley groaned as Jasper’s stomach already started rumbling.


“Truth was my stomach was feeling it already,” Melissa admitted. “I just hoped I could psych Jasper out. Riley is not being subtle about what she’s doing...”


Riley pouted as she took another bite of her brain...before smirking. She started chewing loudly, with her mouth wide open. “I think they’re reaching Zero Gs!”

Melissa turned her head. “I know what you’re trying Riley; it won’t work.”

“Fine, I guess Melissa wins the rematch,” Riley announced loudly. “Say, does anyone remember how Jasper beat Melissa in that endurance contest? Jasper? What was it?”

“We had to drink…” Jasper said, while taking deep breaths, “Jenny and Toby’s nasty smoothie.”

“Oh yeah! It was rank! What was in it again?”

“Pigeon poop,” Jasper replied. “Fresh maggots...old man sweat…”

Melissa’s face turned artichoke green, but Jasper’s face was already avocado green.

“Wait, you’re saying Jasper won something?” Blainerson asked. “Are you sure you weren’t mistaking him for someone else? That’s what usually happens with me.”

“Are you kidding?” Jasper asked. “It...it was the first challenge I won on the show...It wasn’t even just that stuff either...there was...black licorice.”

Everyone let out a gasp, Riley even coughing up brain bits on the floors.

“Black licorice?” Blainerson asked. “Seriously? That’s crossing a line.”

“Uhhh,” Melissa groaned, shivering. “I’m...not...giving...up…”

“The main ingredient was chunks,” Jasper recalled. “Chunks of...uh...baby roaches?”

Melissa’s eyes lit up as she finally vomited.

“Woo!” Jasper cheered. “Victory!”

Melissa vomit splashed back on to him. 

“...I’m still counting this as a win,” he said.


“Oh my gosh!” Melissa cried. “If any of my little roach babies are watching, I’m so sorry! I completely forgot I drank cockroach in the first challenge. I didn’t eat y’all because you were alive, and it was too late for those dears. Ohh…”


“Wooooo Pastor Jasper!” Riley cheered.

“Jasper actually won?” Blainerson asked. “Good thing I’m not a betting man. Congrats on your first victory bro.”

“Were you missing the part where I beat Melissa before?” Jasper asked. “I’ve actually won three chall-”

“That’s nice Jasper,” Blainerson said. “But we need to move on. You can take a seat up here.”

“I’ll pass,” Jasper said.

“Aww, he’s still camera shy,” Blainerson said.

“Camera shy?” Jasper asked. “I’m on a tele-”

“-He’s so camera shy he always skips our family Christmas card photo,” Blaineron teased.

“We have a family Christmas photo?” 

“Yeah, since forever. Did you never know?”

Jasper sighed and slunk to his seat.

“It looks like we’re at round three,” Blainerson said. “With Jasper safe for winning the last challenge and Melissandre eliminated, that means Ness and Rosey have to be in the next event. I hope you enjoy heights.”

“I don’t,” Ness sighed.

“Does anyone?” Riley asked.


Ness and Riley were strapped into a harness attached to balloons; yellow for Ness, red for Riley. All the balloons had Blainerson’s face on it. The two floated over a large pool of water. The balloons were just enough they floated off the ground but not any farther in the air, with the girls acting as anchors in the harness.

“This challenge is Balloon Lagoon,” Blainerson said. “In your harness pockets, you’ll find darts and a blowgun. You-”

“-Have to pop the other person’s balloons?” Riley asked.

“And the loser falls into the lagoon?” Ness continued.

Blainerson crossed his arms. “You know the host is supposed to explain stuff. Not the...challenge doers.”

Ness frowned. “Sorry…”

“It was pretty self explanatory,” Ignacio stated.

“Let’s just start the head to head,” Blainerson said, clapping his hands. 

The two girls nodded and raced to get out their blowguns.

Ness was first and fired. Her dart launched...a foot before sinking into the pool. 

“Nice try Loch Ness,” Riley said, “But it’s my turn now.”

Ness tried to swim through the air, barely avoiding Riley’s dart. She launched another dart straight at Riley. The dart flipped...bouncing backwards off Riley’s balloon and straight into Ness’.

“Really?” the jinx asked. As one balloon popped, she sank slightly lower. 


As the challenge proceeded, Blainerson had interns touch up his hair off-screen. 

Ignacio sighed. “How can I compete with him?”

“You can’t compete dear,” Melissa said, “you lost.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” Ignacio replied. 

“I think he was talking about Blainerson,” Jasper said. “You know, for Ness’ heart.”

“Shhh!” Ignacio hushed.

“I can’t believe even you’re jealous of him,” Jasper sighed. 

“He’s a celebrity,” Ignacio replied. “Ness won’t even give me the time of day over him. Next to Blainerson...I’m just Ignacio.”

“Ooh,” Jasper said. “You’re only a genius supermodel? I’d never even had my first kiss, but almost every girl here has wanted to smooch you.”

Melissa looked away. “Not really...I mean not after me and my Adi-kins found each other.”

Ignacio blushed. “I guess you’re right. I am good enough for Ness...but am good enough that she’d pick me instead of her dream guy?”

“Her dream guy is someone sweet and cute,” Melissa said. “You fit the bill marvelously.”

Jasper nodded. “Plus, if she gets to know the real Blainerson it’ll be no contest.”


Riley launched another dart.

“Owww!”

“Sorry!” Riley called out.

“It’s fine,” Ness replied. “Wouldn’t be the first dart shot in my butt…”

Ness tried to pull out the dart, only for it to slip out of her hands and pop another one of her balloons. 

“It looks like Rosey is creaming Jess,” Blainerson announced. 

“Ness,” the jinx corrected. “How do you not know our names yet? You even have cue cards with them.”

Pop. Riley shot another one of Ness’ balloons, as her small competitor sank lower.

“Maybe you should focus on the challenge,” Blainerson stated. “You’re not doing so hot Jess. I was hoping for more from one of my fans.”

“I was hoping for more from my favorite musician,” Ness replied, gritting her teeth. 

Riley tossed aside her blowgun and grabbed all the darts from her bag. “Sorry Loch Ness, but I’m ending this.”

Squinting, Riley tossed one dart after the other. Ness covered her face, but the darts popped balloon after balloon until…

“Ahhhhhh!”

Ness plummeted from the sky, landing on top of Blainerson instead of the pool.

“I’d appreciate fans who aren't clingy,” Blainerson stating, throwing Ness off his back. 

Ness rolled her eyes. “You don't have to worry about that from me.”


She joined the others in the audience.

“Are you alright?” Ignacio asked.

“I'm completely embarrassed,” Ness admitted.

“Don’t be, that challenge-”

“Not that,” Ness said. “Was I really that over the top at Blainerson’s arrival?”

“What...no way,” Ignacio said. “You totally weren’t crazy at all…”

“I can’t believe I always fall for such jerks,” Ness sighed. “Markie, Pascal, Blainerson…I think I might have as bad taste in music as I do men. Why can’t I seem to find a nice guy?”

“I don’t know,” Melissa added. “I wish you would, especially when he’s right next to you.”

“Huh?”


“Quiet from the peanut gallery,” Blainerson stated. “With that win, Riley makes it another round.”

“Woooo!” the skater cheered. “Now...can someone help me down?”


Back inside, Riley and Jasper stood on stage. They each hold a giant refrigerator magnet with their name on it. The stage had been converted into an arena, with solid white walls trapping them inside. Blainerson watched them from above his throne.

“As our final two, Rosey and Jorah will compete in the semi finals,” Blainerson announced. “This head to head is about being creative. I call this one Paint Of Heart.”

Rising from under the stage, a wheel of giant barrels of paint surfaced. Various brushes, sponges, and buckets were in-between the barrels. 

“And what is our task this time, oh great one?” Jasper asked.

“Thank you for asking so nicely Jasper,” Blainerson stated. “This room’s walls and floor are entirely white. Whoever can cover more of the room in their color paint wins. You’ll place your name on whichever color you want, and can use any of the tools.”

“Sounds fun,” Riley admitted. “I love a good arts and craft project.”

“That’s super,” Blainerson said. “Now, you’ll have five minutes. Any other questions?”

Jasper raised his hand. “I-”

“-Great,” Blainerson said. “On your mark, get set...go!”

Riley bolted and reached the paint cans first. She slapped her name on the first can, red, and grabbed a paint roller. Jasper followed, slapping his name on the nearby green. As he scooped paint, Riley was going over the wall. 

“You know what they say about painting the town red?” Riley teased.

Jasper splattered her wall with his bucket. “You should paint it green instead?”

Riley smirked. She ran a circle around the room, trailing the roller behind her and creating a red pathway. 

Jasper didn’t bother following, splattering more of the walls.

“My little bro is actually taking the lead,” Blainerson announced. “Can he keep it up? I mean, I’m sure he can.”

“I don’t think he meant it,” Melissa whispered.

Riley continued smirking however. With the paint roller in one hand and a brush in another, she ran towards her paint can.

“CANNONBALL!”

Riley jumped and dropped in the can. She emerged, covered in paint. Shaking her tools to splash paint everywhere, She threw herself against a blank wall and started rolling against it.

“What’s she doing?” Ness asked.

“She’s become a human sponge,” Ignacio exclaimed. 

Soon, outlines of Riley lined the walls, along with her footprints and drippings from shaking the brushes. 

Riley dived back into her can and started slamming against Jasper’s wall. It made a brownish-red imprint.

“And Rosey has taken the lead,” Blainerson stated. “Despite my total faith in my brother, he lost the lead. With only two minutes left too.”

Jasper frowned as he saw Riley’s red-brown sponge splatters against his wall. Suddenly, he smiled though and ran back to the cans.

By now, Riley had resorted to scooping with a bucket, her giant can having lost most of its paint.

“Man,” she said, “if I didn’t know this paint this room would like several murders happened...kind of like the rest of the hotel.”

THUD.

She turned her head to see Jasper body slamming into a paint can. The can toppled over, spilling purple paint all over the ground.

“Dude, what have you against purple?” Riley asked.

“Nothing,” Jasper replied. “In fact, I think I might be my new color.”

He slammed his name tag from the green paint onto the tipped over can.

Riley raised an eyebrow. “Wait, what are-”

Jasper ran over and dived into a blue can. 

She noticed the purple tidal wave of paint, cover the floor, making it a reddish purple. Jasper burst out of the blue paint. He started throwing himself against Riley’s imprints, smearing them with his arms till they turned purple.

“Oh crap,” Riley exclaimed. She tried to grab two paint buckets, but Jasper grabbed one and started chucking blue paint against her other splatterings. 

“Time!” Blainerson called. “Drop your brushes...and bodies.”

The two froze. Everyone started at the paint soaked room. Blainerson traced his finger over the room. 

“It looks like the winner...was Jasper?” 

“YES!” He cheered.

“The rules don’t discourage against switching paint,” Blainerson said, overlooking the cue card. “So I guess that is a win…”

Riley held out her fist. “Nicely played Pastor Jasper.”

Jasper stared at the fist.

Riley laughed and grabbed his hand, before bumping their fists together. 

“Oh,” Jasper laughed, blushing slightly.

“So is the challenge over so soon?” Melissa asked. “That gives me time to make supper tonight. Any requests?”

“Slow your roll early losing girl,” Blainerson said. “That was only the semi-finals match. To win invincibility you have to win the final head to head...against me.”

“What?” Jasper asked. 

“I know,” Blainerson said. “Isn’t that twist mind shattering?” 

“No, not really,” Jasper replied. “Why am I competing against you though? You’re not even a contestant.”

“Everyone knows the host is the most important part of the show,” Blainerson said. “That’s why people watch reality shows. So I should be the final opponent! Plus, we can’t just have four rounds. That’s not as cool a number.”

“People watch for the gameplay, not the host,” Jasper said. “And-”

“That’s nice,” Blainerson said, “but those are the rules Judah. Will my little brother compete against me? Or will he forfeit?”

“What? Why would I-’

“-Who will be the winner?” Blainerson asked. “Find out after this commercial break, when ‘The Untitled Project’ returns…”

Blainerson turned away from the cameras, throwing his arm over Jasper and escorting him to the side.

“He knows this isn’t live, right?” Ignacio asked.


“Do you seriously think I’m going to forfeit?” Jasper asked.

“I assumed you’d want to,” Blainerson replied. “To avoid being humiliated on live TV.”

“Humiliated?”

“When I beat you,” Blainerson said. 

“What if I win,” Jasper said.

Blainerson laughed so hard, he fell to the ground. He stopped when he saw Jasper glaring over him. “Wait, are you serious? No offense baby brother but you’re...not exactly a winner.”

“I won my way this far,” Jasper stated. “I’ve won the most challenges of anyone here.”

“I totally believe that,” Blainerson said. “But do you honestly think you can beat me?”

“You afraid?” Jasper asked. 

“I’m afraid I’m going to hurt my little brother’s feelings,” Blainerson replied. “Let’s face it Jasper, I’m better at you at...everything. The only game you could win as a kid was hide and seek, and you didn’t even know we were playing!”

“You always think you’re so much better than me,” Jasper said.

“I’m just stating facts,” Blainerson said. “I mean, one of us is successful, well-known, accomplished and the other is...you.”

Blainerson shook his head. “Look, do yourself a favor and forfeit. I’ll say that as the head honcho I’ll give you invincibility or whatever for the challenge. That way you can stay safe and don’t have to fail at the challenge.”

Jasper walked away.

"Great talk baby bro! Love you're trying, it's cute!"


Blainerson took a seat backstage as Rhonda, Jenny, and Toby clapped at his arrival. Rhonda handed him a water bottle, Jenny held up a mirror for him, and Toby wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“You’ve been doing amazing,” Rhonda said. “Real great job Blainerson! One tip between hosts though, try to remember the names-”

“Thanks Raina,” Blainerson replied. “I was a little nervous, but hosting is such a cakewalk.”

“Sure is,” Jenny replied. “So that means you’ll do your own gameshow?”

Blainerson nodded. “I got to give the people what they want; more of me, but in new situations.”

“I guess that means our shows will be airing buddies this fall,” Rhonda joked.

“Ooh…”

“What?”

“They didn’t tell you?” Blainerson asked.

“Tell us what?” Toby asked.

“Yeah...they’re not renewing this show,” Blainerson replied.

WHAT?” Rhonda screamed.

“Yeah,” Blainerson said.

“Why?” Rhonda asked. “We’ve been killing it! Ever since we got that primetime slot and the merge started our ratings have been high and are still rising!”

“The network says they’d rather cut their loses,” Blainerson replied. “Something about a ship still sinking or a money pit or something.”

“Why did they tell you this?” Toby asked.

“I think it’s because my gameshow is taking your slot,” Blainerson admitted. 

“Again,” Rhonda said, “WHAT?”

“They wanted me to promote it’ll be airing at this timeslot.”

Blainerson turned to the cameras. “Coming this fall! The most McManly game show you’ve ever seen! Starring Blainerson McManly...hey, that's me!”

“You mean you didn’t come because you liked and wanted to be a part of our show?” Rhonda asked.

Blainerson laughed. “Oh heavens no! I said I wanted to appear on TV, not this mess. Jasper loves it, so I assume it has to be boring.”

“That’s...fair actually,” Jenny admitted. “Still, you creep! You just came here to promote your brand.”

“I call it Branderson,” Blainerson admitted.

“How could you do this to us,” Rhonda asked. “After we designed these challenges for you. I gave you some of my best puns! I mean Pukeclear Reactor! I’ve been saving that for a special occasion.”

“It didn’t go to waste,” Blainerson said. “It went to me! Look, it’s nothing personal. The network wants to play it safe. They want somebody famous. They want a show that can guarantee an audience and will entertain people. That’s not Genesis. It never was.”

Blainerson yawned and stood up. “Commercials are probably over. Thanks for the pep talk guys, I feel great! My hair looks great. You're doing great, it's all great.”

Toby rolled his eyes while Jenny blew a raspberry as he strutted away.

“What a phony,” Jenny said. “I can’t believe I let him borrow my focus. Me! The main character of this fanfic!”

“Have you ever been a relevant character?” Toby asked.

“YOUR MOM!”


Blainerson returned to the stage. He winked and waved at the unimpressed audience of the newcomers. Finally, after taking a few bows, he continued. “Welcome back folks! When we left off, Jasper had just made the finals when in the biggest twist on this show, I was his final opponent. So Jasper, is there something you want to say?”

Jasper walked up to the stage. “Blainerson...I didn’t need you to give me handouts. I’d rather lose than have to give you credit for my win. So, let’s do this.”

Blainerson shook his head. “Not smart baby bro. Very well, then for the final head to head…”

He drew a card. “Ooh! I hope you like breakfast!”

“Breakfast?” Jasper asked.


Back in the courtyard, in place of the arena and stage was now a tower of giant pancakes. Jasper and Blainerson had changed into Japanese loincloths. Blainerson flexed and smoothed back his hair as Jasper raised his eyebrow.

“So what is this?” Jasper asked. “Besides an excuse for you to show-off?”

“The final match is the Syrup Sumo Showdown,” Blainerson stated. “The first to knock their opponent off the pancake stack wins. Still want to go through this?”

Jasper stared him down. “You’re going to taste defeat. Sweet, fluffy, defeat.”

“Sure Jan...I mean Jasper.”

The two brothers stared each other down from across the giant pancakes. Blainerson snapped his fingers. Two interns rang a gong in the background. Syrup fell from the stage ceiling in the middle of the pancake.

The two ran at each other.

“Come on Jasper,” Blainerson said. “I know you, you can’t win.”

“What do you know about me?” Jasper asked.

“Uhhh…”

Jasper shoved his brother down. “Nothing. But I know all I need to know about you.”

Jasper went to tackle Blainerson, but slipped in the syrup. Blainerson grabbed Jasper’s arm, putting him in a hold.

“What is that?”

“That you’re a terrible brother,” Jasper said. “You’re too self-absorbed and fame hungry.”

“What are you talking about?” Blainerson asked. “When have I been a bad brother?” 

“Where to start,” Jasper replied. “How about when you threw a concert on my last birthday. You didn’t even invite me. Or lost me when we were Trick or Treating as kids. Or made out with Maya Ecckles after I told you I had a crush on her!”

Jasper broke free of the hold and now pinned his brother down. “I didn’t think you’d be upset!”

“You didn’t think about me at all,” Jasper replied. “Even coming on this show. The one place people actually know my name...usually. You made this show all about you.”

Blainerson broke free and pushed Jasper back. “And what’s it all about then?”

Jasper glared. “People don’t watch for the host, they watch for the game. For the players of it and the eventual winner. I’m one of the players.”

Jasper tried to tackle Blainerson again, but his older brother held him back with one arm. “And you think people want to watch you? The guy nobody can remember.”

Blainerson knocked Jasper back. Jasper tried to get to his feet, but slipped. 

“I want to be real with you,” Blainerson said. “So let me explain. Mom and dad went to my concert because it was bigger than your birthday. I lost you Trick or Treating on purpose because I didn’t want to spend Halloween bored. That girl didn’t know you existed.”

“Be real?” Jasper asked. “Blainerson McManly isn’t even your real name!”

Ness gasped. “Oh my gosh...actually it does sound really fake.”

“You’re name is John-”

Blainerson put his brother in a chokehold. “I had it legally changed!”

He started to drag Jasper to the edge of the pancake. “Here’s real. You’re either a somebody or a nobody. Our family is full of somebodies, but you’re the exception. You’re a nobody.”

With a grunt, the musician lifted Jasper off and threw him off the side. He turned and walked away.

“I...am...not...a...nobody!”

“What?” Blainerson asked.

He turned to see Jasper holding on to the stack by one hand. Panting, Jasper pulled himself up from the edge. 

“You’re still going?”

Jasper shrugged. 

His brother tried to grab him. Jasper, covered in syrup, was easily able to slip free. “I’m not going to let you tell me who I am.”

The two grappled with each other. From the audience, the other newcomers cheered.

“You got this Jasper!” Melissa said. 

“Knock Blanderson down a peg,” Ignacio added.

“You have him on the ropes,” Ness added.

“You got this Bro and Tell!” Riley shouted.  

“They’re cheering for...you?” Blainerson asked. “Why?”

"Cause we like Jasper?" Riley replied.

"And you're not that very nice either," Melissa added.

"I'd go with the worst," Ignacio added.

Blainerson looked at Ness. "You're rooting for me, right? You know you love my music...and my well quaffed hair. "

Ness pretended to yawn. "Did you guys hear something? Sounded like an overrated jerk?"

"Nope."

"Nada."

"Can't say I have."

Jasper smirked. Sneaking beyond his brother and scooping syrup in his hands, he chucked it at Blainerson’s hair.

“NOT THE HAIR,” Blainerson screamed. 

Jasper charged, knocking the teen idol down. “I’d say it’s been fun Blainerson, but it never is with you. Tell Mom and Dad I said hi, and beat you on international television!”

With a kick, Jasper shoved him off the pancake stack. The other newcomers whooped in cheered. Blainerson groaned, trying to stand, but kept slipping and faceplanting in the syrup.


Rhonda, Jenny, and Toby stood outside a trailer in front of the Pentagram. They banged on the door.

“Hey, you’re not done!” Rhonda yelled. “You still have to announce the results...and plug your stupid show.”

Blainerson pouted in his dressing room, only wearing a red robe. He sighed as his beauticians tried to fix his hair, but their combs got stuck to his head.

“Just a reminder,” Jenny said. “The results are Jasper won. By beating you. Incase you forgot.”

“I'm not leaving my trailer!” Blainerson yelled. “This hosting thing sucks! Your contestants failed; they wouldn’t stop ignoring me or talking back or giving the wrong reactions. For all my hard work I was ignored, humiliated, and insulted.”

“Oh?” Rhonda asked. “Oh really? Did your little feelings get hurt because hosting is so hard? WELCOME TO MY LIFE. I’ve been spending the past four years being treated like that.”

“Your show has been on for three months,” Blainerson stated. 

“Well, it feels like four,” Rhonda replied. “This experience has aged me! Like I’m a president in office. Being a host means spending all your time planning and working on something, only for it to blow up in your face. You deal with it though, because you love the show.”

“Grossssssss,” Blainerson said. “Count me out on hosting.”

Rhonda roared and stomped off.

“Nice going Rhonda!” Jenny said, as she and Toby chased after her. “You convinced Blainerson to quit.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Toby said, “You may have actually saved the day.”

“I didn’t change anything,” Rhonda replied. “So maybe Blainerson’s out, but the network will replace us. They already decided so. They’ll just get a new show, probably with cops.”

“But-”

“It’s over,” Rhonda said. “Don’t you get it? We failed.”


“I’m in shock,” Jasper stated. “I...I actually did it! Not only did I cream Blainerson, I’ve won invincibility four times! I actually made it to the final four! Me! No one is going to believe this, even if they watch the show.”

Jasper forced a laugh. “I just...it wasn’t about beating Blainerson. I mean it was great, but...just to prove somebody they were wrong about me. It’s the best feeling in the world. To prove I can be a winner, be important...be a somebody. To really prove it though, I have to win. Not just today, but this whole show. I just don’t know if I actually can…”


Melissa was working in the kitchen as Ness walked up.

“Oh Ness,” Melissa said.

“Hey Melissa,” Ness replied. “What’cha doing?”

“Baking,” Melissa said. “Shocking, I know. I’m just trying to calm my nerves, think of a plan.”

“A plan?”

Melissa nodded. “For tonight. ...Riley’s targeting me, isn’t she?”

“I um...I…”

“She made it obvious at the challenge today,” Melissa replied. “Has she already talked to you?”

Ness sighed, but nodded. “Yeah…”

Melissa forced a smile. “I see. Well, that means there’s only one person I have to vote for; her. Are you in?”

“I don’t want to vote for either of you!” Ness replied. “But the only other person is Iggy. And I promised I wouldn’t vote for myself anymore…”

“You know I hate asking you this,” Melissa said. “But it’s her or me tonight. Maybe she already has the boys, I don’t know. If you vote with me, either I’m saved or it doesn’t change anything and you don’t have to feel bad.”

Ness rubbed the back of her head. “I’ll think on it.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Melissa replied. “Thanks Ness. Now I need to make a miracle...”


“So we’re all in on this?” Riley asked.

She, Jasper, and Ignacio were in the game room.

Jasper nodded. “You know I’ve been trying to get Melissa out since Tessa left.” 

“I should have wised up sooner,” Riley stated. “Kudos on getting her out today. Unlike some people.”

“I said I was sorry,” Ignacio stated.

Riley laughed. “I’m just giving you a hard time dude. You know I can’t stay mad at you.”

“Is Ness onboard?” Ignacio asked. “She and Melissa are really close.”

“If we all onboard she’ll go with us,” Riley replied. “Then it’ll be a Fizzled Firework final four finale!”

“Alliterative and exciting,” Igancio said.

“I know right?” Riley asked. “Let’s get it done bros.”

Riley raised her fist as Jasper and Ignacio joined her. 


That night, a disheveled Rhonda stumbled into the Haunted Internet Cafe. 

“Are you alright Ms. Rhonda?” Melissa asked. “You’ve never been late to an elimination before.”

“I’m fine, just dandy,” Rhonda moaned. “Just feeling crushed by my existence as a constant and inevitable failure.”

“That doesn’t sound dandy,” Jasper said. 

Rhonda threw a coffee cup at him, that he barely dodged. “Here’s your cup Mister Winner. Must be nice...winning.”

“I’m still not used to it,” Jasper admitted. “Hey...what’s in this cup?”

“My tears.”

Rhonda half-heartedly kicked another one towards Ignacio. “One for pretty boy. And another for blondie.”

Rhonda threw the cup completely off-course. Ness looked at Ignacio, who shrugged.

“You know how long I practiced?” Rhonda asked. “For six months, I practiced aiming and throwing full coffee cups and other small objects to people. For this show. Not like any of that matters? I just learned a skill I thought I’d need for years, but is useless! USELESS!”

Riley and Melissa shared a look. “So I guess it’s just you and me.”

“I wish it wasn’t,” Melissa replied.

“Honestly...I kind of hate it,” Riley said. “For both of us. We can’t change it now though.”

The two turned to see Rhonda leaning against her podium. “Don’t cut back to me! Just...insert some confessionals or something, gawd!”


“I tried my best to campaign to stay,” Melissa explained. “I even made new snickerdoodle pumpkin spice peanut butter chocolate chip cookies for the occasion. I just hope everything I did was enough…”


“I have no idea whose going,” Riley said. “I hope it’s Melissa. I hope all of us Fireworks can keep band together. We can vote out the biggest threat, I can avenge Tessa...but I can’t control what everyone’s going to do.”


Rhonda sighed, barley lifting her head. “Alright, the last coffee cup goes to…”



















“Melissa.”

Melissa sighed in relief.

“You can come get it if you want,” Rhonda said. “I don’t care. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

Rhonda waddled off, kicking over a trash can, climbing inside, and rolling away in it. 

Riley stood up. “Whelp, that sucks.”

“I’m sorry Riley,” Ness said. “The truth is-”

“-Don’t sweat it,” Riley replied. “You did what you thought is best. Everyone who voted for me did. I get it.”

“You’re not upset about being eliminated?” Ignacio asked.

“I am,” Riley admitted. “I’m just trying not to let it bug me. What can I do? What’s done is done. I gotta leave with my head held high.” 

“You really are like no one else,” Melissa said. “I’m sorry it ended this way.”

Riley shrugged. “I probably shouldn’t have been so obviously gung-ho about eliminating you. You’re still cool Miss Mel. Good luck. You too Jasper.”

Ignacio and Ness pulled Riley in for a group hug. She laughed and ruffled their heads. “And of course good luck to you two. I’m going to miss you Loch Ness and Iggy Pop.”

Riley grabbed her luggage. “All four of you are awesome, and you all deserve to win! Have fun! If you excuse me, I gotta get some food. I’m starving…”

Everyone shared a laugh, as Riley flashed a peace sign and exited out the door.

As the newcomers started to disperse, Jasper winked at Melissa. She forced a smile and gave a thumbs up. 


Earlier…

“...So what do you say?” Melissa asked. 

She sat with Jasper in the luxury suite, before elimination. Jasper took another cookie off her plate. “Well, you do make some good points. You also make some good cookies.”

“Thank you!”

“But I don’t know,” Jasper said. “I’m just not sure.”

Melissa frowned. “I understand. Has...has Riley already come to you?”

Jasper nodded. “Yeah. She also made some good points.”

“So what are you going to do?” Melissa asked.

“I guess we’ll find out tonight,” Jasper replied.

Melissa stood up. “Well, one last thing for you to consider. I know you’ve voted for me before. But if I go, who will they vote off next?”

“Huh?”

“Iggy, Riley, and Ness have been with each other for forever,” Melissa admitted. “They voted you off before; you’re an outsider. They won’t take you to the final three. You’ll have to win the next challenge.”

Jasper shrugged. “I guess I’ll just win it then. Sorry.”

Melissa nodded and walked toward the door.

“Unless…”

Melissa turned around. “Unless?”

“Unless someone gave me a reason otherwise…”

Melissa titled her head. “Like?”

“I’ll cut to the chase,” Jasper said. “Make me a deal.”

“What?”

“Make me a deal,” Jasper repeated. “I realize that nobody left is great to go to the end with...but it’s too late to fix that. I just need to make it to the finale.”

“I can’t promise that,” Melissa admitted.

“Then I guess we’re done here,” Jasper said.

Jasper whistled as he walked away. Melissa watched, before hanging her head.“I already made a final 2 deal with someone else. But...I promise I’ll take you to the final 3.”

Jasper raised an eyebrow. “That’s not a super pitch…”

“It’s the only deal I can make,” Melissa pleaded. “But at the final 3, you still could win your way to the finale. Plus, you wouldn’t have to take me. That’s still better odds than with Riley. I’m sure she’s telling Iggy and Ness they’ll be a final 3.”

Jasper rubbed his chin in thought for a moment. “You swear you’ll take me to the final 3?”

“I’ll do everything I can to,” Melissa replied. 

Jasper thought for a moment. Finally, he held out his hand. The two shook. “Deal.”


Ventura Highway

In the sunshine

Where the days are longer

The nights are stronger

Than moonshine

You're gonna go I know

'Cause the free wind is blowin' through

Your hair

And the days surround you daylight 

There

Seasons crying no despair

Alligator lizards in the air

Riley sat in the front seat of the bus, her eyes closed as she listened to the song. She sighed, wiping a tear away from her eye. 

“I made the final five,” Riley said to herself. “I have to be happy about that. I can’t dwell on the past. I just gotta remember all the good times…”

She opened her eyes. “Where do I go now?”

The bus suddenly halted to a stop. The doors opened as Jenny and Toby climbed inside the bus.

“Jenny and Toby?” Riley asked. “Did Rhonda kick you out?”

“As if she could,” Jenny replied. “We’re...going with you. To film an episode about the losers.”

“Really?” Riley asked.

“We were tired of Rhonda’s crying,” Toby stated.

Jenny elbowed him in the gut. “Shhh! We’re just super excited about showing everyone at home what the eliminated players have been up to.”

The two took the seat across from Riley as the bus started to drive-away again. 

“Oh no,” Riley said. “I’m going to see everyone again, aren’t I? Tessa, Lita, Seraphina, Easton...Gris.”

“Yup,” Jenny replied. “One big reunion where everyone can see how you stumbled and fell right at the end.”

Toby elbowed her in the gut now.

“So where are we headed?” Riley asked. 

“Playa Des Losers.” 

Chapter 25 The Defeat History of Washington[]

“Playa Des Losers.”

Riley stared at the two co-hosts.

“...Am I supposed to know what that means?”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “The fans will.”


The Public Transportation of Losers stopped. Riley gasped at the sight of a familiar hotel.

“Paradise Beach Hotel?” she asked. “You mean everyone’s been staying her all along?”

Toby nodded. “It’s an easy place to keep you guys till the finale.”

Grabbing her bags, the latest arrival headed for the door. “Are you two coming?”

“We’re just dropping off the cameraman for now,” Jenny replied. “You know, film you and everyone else’s authentic loser experience. We’ll interview you and the others tomorrow.”

“So why did you need to come on the bus?” Riley asked. “Wait, was this an excuse for a free ride?”

“Don’t judge me!” Jenny screamed.

Riley shrugged. As the bus sped away, she heard Jenny shout, “Driver, take me to the nearest Taco Bell! And step on it!”

She looked back. Toby was waving from the window as the bus just disappeared.

Smiling a little, Riley took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and pushed her way through the door.

“Welcome!”

Riley opened her eyes to see Zipporah and Hayden standing there. They stood at the entrance like guards at Buckingham Palace. Both wore leis. Hayden held an additional lei, while Zipporah carried a laurel wreath. They placed both over Riley.

“These are gifts for you,” Zipporah said.

“To celebrate your arrival,” Hayden added.

“Uh thanks,” Riley said. “What are y’all doing?”

“We’re the Welcoming Committee,” Hayden explained.

“Welcome to hell,” Zipporah sighed.

Hayden shook his head. “Don’t volunteer if you’re going to try and be edgy.”

“I don’t believe in sugar-coating it,” Zipporah replied.

“Yes,” Hayden said, “you believe in exaggerating. You also-”

Riley coughed. The two turned to face her. Hayden forced a smile.

“So...you two welcome everyone that gets voted off?” Riley asked.

“People alternate,” Zipporah said. “A different pair for each elimination. Loser Queen’s idea.”

“We’re here to receive you,” Hayden continued. “We know what it’s like to lose, but we want you to know you’re welcome here.”

Hayden pulled Riley into a hug. Before she could run, he pulled Zipporah in.

“Aww thanks dudes,” Riley replied. “I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Zipporah sighed. “Come on, let’s go to the fake beach.”

“We’re throwing a luau in your honor!” Hayden said. “Everyone will want to see you.”

Riley rubbed the back of her neck. “Oh. I don’t know about that. I’m...feeling kind of tired.”

“It’ll be fun,” Hayden said.

“It won’t,” Zipporah stated. “But if I have to go so do you.”

“Everyone will want to welcome you,” Hayden explained. “You of all people isn’t going to pass up a party, right?”

“I guess not,” Riley said. “Alright...let’s do this!”


Down at the beach, the luau was getting ready to start. Aiden was at the grill, flipping burgers and cooking shish kabobs. Lita and Tessa were admiring the buffet table they had set up; they smiled and high-fived.

Easton and Weston were working together to set up the volleyball court. Pascal was scrolling through the songs of the karaoke machine; heavy bags hung from his eyes as Amanda Picklestein rambled next to him. Kalino and Vance were practicing at the limbo line.

Right next to the stage was a tiki bar. Bethany and Xidorn were behind the counter, putting tiny umbrellas into glasses of fruity beverages. Griswold hoisted Seraphina up; she fixed a bulb in the string of lights that were decorating the bar. At the center of all the festivities was large bonfire. Cynthia tended it.

As Lita and Tessa went to the bar, snickers came from under the buffet table. Frannie and Diamonique rolled out, sharing a smirk, before eyeing the spread.

“It’s meat heaven,” Diamonqiue sighed.

“Or vegetarian heck,” Frannie teased.

Licking her lips, Diamonique reached for a chicken leg...before Lita slapped her hands away.

“You little piglets,” Lita said. “How many times have we told you; you have to wait for the guest of honor!”

“Rude,” Frannie replied. “We were just taste testing…”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “The last time you ‘taste tested’ we found you two passed out and covered in artichoke dip.”

Diamonique and Frannie shared a laugh, before Lita grabbed then by their shirt collars.

“Bethany!”

Hearing her name, the jock jogged over and immediately scowled. “Again?”

Tessa nodded.

“Oh come on,” Diamonqiue said. “Any of the final five wouldn’t mind!”

“It’s disrespectful,” Lita replied.

“Did you two finish your job before the luau?” Bethany asked.

“Of course we did!” Diamonique replied. “Just take a look!”

She pointed to the torches lining the way to the festival; a few were sideways and only one had stayed lit. That torch fell over, putting out the flame.

“...Right,” Bethany said. “But you’re supposed to be a good job.”

Frannie forced a smile. “You didn’t mention that.”

“So what’s the ruling?” Tessa asked.

“You want me to give it?” Bethany asked.

“You are the Queen of Playa Des Losers,” Xidorn said. He and the others had gathered around.

Bethany sighed. “I guess I am...well, I’ll be generous. You two are exclusively on welcoming duty from now on.”

The duo opened their mouths, but the first boot continued. “It’ll keep you away from the table. If we do catch you sneaking anymore food before a guest arrives, you’re banned from the buffet.”

They opened their mouths again. “And if you keep doing it, we may just have to ban you from the luau. Now, there are only two left. So can you keep it together till then?”

“Maybe,” Diamonique admitted.

“Ugh. I-”

“Um dudes.”

Kalino pointed to the ‘path’ of torches; everyone could make out the shadows of someone approaching.

“I can’t see who it is,” Frannie whispered.

“Almost like we should’ve had lit torches there,” Seraphina replied.

Hayden and Zipporah parted, revealing the newest arrival. Riley forced a smile and flashed a peace sign. “S’up everybody.”

“Riley,” Griswold said.

“Hey Gris Be-”

Before she could finish, he had already lifted her up in a bear hug. “I missed you.”

“He really has,” Seraphina teased.

As soon as she was set down, Riley was pulled into another hug by Tessa. “Hey Rye Bread.”

“Sweet T.”

Then came her old Firework friends, each greeted by their nickname.

"Easton Shore!”

Lightning Lita!”

“Seraphina Silverman!”

One by one most of the losers welcomed their newest member. Cynthia re-lit the torches and finally Bethany said, “It’s time to celebrate! To Riley!”

“To Riley!” the others shouted. The bro looked down.

Bethany held out a plate, but Riley didn’t take it. “Not yet dude. You guys go ahead.”

“You? Turn down a buffet?” Tessa asked.

“I had a big dinner.”

“If you’re sure,” Bethany said, “then I guess we’ll dig in, but-”

Diamonique grabbed the plate from Bethany’s hand, before grabbing a second one and helping herself. With that, the seal had been broken and everyone started.


It wasn’t long before the party was in full swing. Xidorn had started some music from the stage, choosing 80s and 90s music for their newest arrival. As per the rules established by their ‘queen’, the losers didn’t flock Riley and ask her questions about the game. When the eliminated player wanted to talk, they would.

Griswold brought a glass of red punch. Riley smiled, sipping it slowly. They sat on the edge of a dock, dipping their feet into the water.

“This is a real rad set-up,” Riley admitted. “How long have they been doing this?”

“Since Hayden was eliminated I think,” Gris replied.

“Have they done one for everybody?” Riley asked.

“You mean did we do one for Kalino?” Griswold said. “Yeah we did.”

Riley smirked. “I was so curious. Must have been awkward.”

“We all knew he was coming,” Griswold replied. “We sent him here! Some of us tried to be polite, but quite a few people were celebrating he lost.”

“Overall, how are these luaus?” Riley asked.

“There a blast!” the linebacker replied. “Keeps the days from getting too boring.”

“Is it boring here?”

Griswold shook his head. “Nah. We have tons of fun! We just can’t go out and do things in D.C.”

“Incase we’re...there out there?” Riley guessed.

“Yeah. You get cabin fever sometimes.”

“Cabin fever at a private beach,” Riley said. “You’ve become spoiled Gris Bear.”

They shared a laugh.

“It’ll be more fun with you here,” Gris stated. “I said if you ever did end up here you’d have to throw all the luaus from now on.”

Riley shrugged. “So Bethany runs this whole thing?”

“She came up with it,” Griswold replied. “Everybody kinda just let her take the lead. They made her the Queen of Playa Des Losers.”

“Okay, so are we at the Paradise Beach Hotel or this Playa Des Losers?”

Griswold chuckled. “Both! Playa Des Losers is just the nickname they give all the loser lodges in every season of Total Drama. Comes from the original’s first season.”

“That makes sense,” Riley replied. “I really should’ve watched those old seasons before doing this, huh?”

“Are you kidding?” Griswold asked. “You killed it!”

“You don’t know that!”

“I heard,” Griswold replied. “Heard how you befriended that shark and dominated the animal buddies challenge. You built a giant robot, you were a cat girl, you fake married Vance…”

Riley blushed. “Just know that was a challenge! I only kissed him cause I had to.”

“Of course not!” Griswold replied. “I’m not the jealous type. But...he wasn’t a better kisser was he?”

Riley laughed and gagged. “As if! His mustache was prickly and smelled like sauerkraut.”

Griswold put his arms around her, as she leaned against him.

“I never stopped wishing you were there,” she admitted.

“Me too,” he replied. “I missed you like crazy.”

Riley broke away from the embrace. She stood up, slipping up on her shoes.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just…”

“You can tell me Rye.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I lost.”

“So did everybody here.”

Riley shook her head. “When you and Tessa were eliminated... I had to win. It’s up to me to make sure it wasn’t for nothing. Especially since I was supposed to go home at the go-kart race. Not you. If it weren’t for you and Tessa, I wouldn’t have made it this far. I was so close too! And then…”

By now Griswold had stood up and was pulling her into another hug. Riley wiped her face against her sleeve.

“I let everybody down. I’m sorry.”

“You never let us down,” Griswold replied. “Like I said, you did amazing! In that Riley way, that’s so fun and cool...that’s you.”

Riley forced a laugh, but was blushing. “Shut up…”

“Only one person can get two million dollars,” Griswold said. “Does that mean we got nothing out of it?”

Griswold pointed out to the luau.

Vance, Easton, Zipporah, Aiden, Bethany and Tessa were sitting around the bonfire, listening to Vance tell some kind of story. Most everyone laughed. Tessa waved at Riley. Lita and Seraphina were splitting a plate of cheese fries, wearing their friendship bracelets. Weston and Cynthia were slow-dancing.

“We got new experiences, good memories, lifelong friends...even fell in love. I know I did.”

Riley smiled. The two kissed. “Me too.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Running up the beach, Amanda Picklestein waved her arms and screamed. She jumped on Pascal’s back, screaming right in his ear.

“Mandy, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“Oh my gosh,” Mandy said, “you would like not believe it! I was going for a little swim to get the last little bit of my fitness, you know cause I got one of those fit watches, and also I had to pee and the porta potty was full so-”

“-Focus Mandy,” most of the losers stated.

“I was swimming when I saw...that!”

She pointed out to the water...as a shark fin approached the beach.

“A SHARK?”

“Somebody call the Navy!” Weston said.

“You’d actually call the Coast Guard for shark attacks,” Aiden said. “Common mistake confusing those two.”

“Hold on,” Seraphina said, “this is an indoor beach! It’s not even connected to the ocean. How did a shark get in here?”

Riley gasped. “That’s not just a shark dudes!”

The shark surfaced on land; he flashed a smile, revealing his missing tooth. Riley ran and tackled the shark.

“Jabberjaw,” Riley said, “what are you doing here albrotross?”

Jabberjaw pointed at Riley.

“You came to visit me?”

Jabbejaw nodded, then patted her on the back.

“Aww, thanks bud. I’m doing good though. Better.”

“I told you she was close with a shark,” Tessa whispered to Gris and Easton.

“If she can make friends with you a shark is nothing,” Easton replied.

Jabberjaw opened his mouth, pulling out a drum and guitar. He winked.

“Aww heck yeah!” Riley cheered.

She raced over to the stage, with Jabberjaw surfing behind her.

“Hey newcomers,” Riley said, “Let’s really get this party started! We are SPLASH ZONE!”

Everyone gathered around the stage. They started cheering as Riley and Jabberjaw started rocking.


The next morning, The Public Transportation of Losers skidded on the sidewalk before just stopping outside the Paradise Beach’s doors. The door opened as a group of strange people stumbled into the streets. Jenny hobbled out, dazed and dusting off taco wrappers. Toby staggered out after her.

“What a night,” she groaned. Shaking her head, she forced a smile.

“Hey all my faboo viewers. It’s your favorite Genesis character.”

“Where?” Toby asked.

“YOUR MOM!” Jenny shouted. Then cleared her throat. “Today you’re in for a treat and totally not filler!”

"Have you ever wondered what happens after they board the Public Transportation of Losers?” Toby asked.

“Probably not,” Jenny replied.

“Too bad, because we’re finding out,” Toby said. “This is Playa Des Losers.”


Jenny strolled through the beach, the losers out and about. Some were swimming and surfing, others sunbathing. Bethany and Xidorn were enjoying drinks at the tiki bar.

“Jenny! Toby!” Bethany called. “Hey, welcome to Playa Des Losers! We’ve been expecting you.”

“Really?” Jenny asked. “So where’s our welcoming party? I mean no red carpet, no parade. Not even a welcome banner.”

“Honestly,” Xidorn said, “I was hoping to not see you again till the finale.”

Jenny glared and kicked sand his direction.

“Don’t mind Xi,” Bethany said. “Some of us our happy to see you again.”

“Aww thanks,” Jenny replied. “It’s nice to see you too...pal.”

Bethany glared. “You don’t remember my name, do you?”

“Of course I do! It’s...um...uh...I wanted to say it started with a Q?”

“Bethany.”

Jenny stared blankly.

“The first boot.”

“Oh yeah!” Jenny laughed. “I remember that; your face was priceless.”

“How long will you be here again?”

“I have to interview all the losers. So let’s start with our first. How have you been Bethany? You seemed to take your elimination really hard.”

“I’m fine,” Bethany replied. “I’ve had a lot of time to process it. It sucks but I’m over it.”

“Really?” Jenny asked. “You’re not even worried about how your famous athletic family will take it? Or you track team?”

Bethany forced a smile. “I mean I was voted off by the other team for being a threat. That’s a compliment. I bet they’ll see it as me being too good.”

“Sure,” Toby said.

“I mean sure it’s humiliating to lose on live TV,” Bethany continued, “And yeah, everybody else got to do at least five challenges. And maybe I still can’t order coffee without getting flashbacks because I never got one. ...but I don’t even think about it anymore.”

“Well I’m convinced.”

“Disappointed you didn’t return?” Jenny asked.

“Who isn’t?” Bethany asked.

“I’m not surprised I didn’t return,” Zipporah stated. “I’m too unconventional and misunderstood; they’d be afraid the viewers wouldn’t get me.”

“Weren’t cast to fill a cliché archetype to appeal to viewers?” Hayden asked.

“And weren’t you casted to spite Rhonda’s former boss who's your boyfriend?” Zipporah replied.

““I’m happy for everyone who did return of course,” Bethany said. “I only wish I could prove myself like they did.”

“Now, it sounds like you’ve become leader of the losers out here,” Jenny said.

Bethany shook her head. “It’s not like that. I just had the idea to throw a party for the people coming in.”

“She’s totally the leader,” Xidorn admitted. “We need someone neutral, someone to provide structure. Bethany’s the perfect person.”

“That’s why we made her the Loser Queen!” Diamonique shouted.

“I told you I didn’t have to be,” Bethany said. “And don’t call me Loser Queen.”

“You are our queen though,” Hayden added. “We had a vote!”

“Well, I didn’t vote for you,” Zipporah whispered.

“You don’t vote for a queen,” Bethany replied.

“What about Queen Amidala?” Xidorn asked. “She was elected Queen of Naboo.”

“Those are the Star Wars prequels!” Bethany yelled. “We don’t talk about those!”

“You’re not even wearing the crown we made for you,” Hayden added.

From behind the bar, Xidorn pulled out a tall tiki crown. Gold letters saying ‘Loser Queen’ circled it. He crowned Bethany as she banged her head against the bar.

“Well this has been okay Beth,” Jenny said, “but we’re gonna go talk to the real characters now. Byeeeee!”


Down at the beach, Pascal was lying on a beach chair. Amanda Picklestein was lying with him, gabbing as per usual.

“So I think like a BBQ and massage place is actually a great idea,” Mandy said. “Should it be a chain? Ooh! It could so be a chain. There could even be tons of spin-off restaurants. Like one for pedicures and tacos! Oh my gosh, wouldn’t you love to be fed tacos while people trim your toenails?”

“No I-”

“-Of course I don’t know if I can secure the rights to that idea, but like I have been saving the prize money I won. I wanna start a business, like I feel I have a real good sense for business, like I should write down these ideas, except I only write in cursive because I forgot how to write in print. But I can’t read cursive! Isn’t that crazy?”

“Mandy-”

“Oh my gosh look! It’s my old bosses!”

Mandy waved as Jenny and Toby approached.

Pascal sighed. “Thank goodness…”

“Mandy?” Toby asked. “What are you doing here? You’re not a newcomer.”

“I know!” Mandy replied. “Isn’t that crazy? I got on that green bus and ended up riding with Pascal. Then we came here and Rhonda said I could stay if I wanted to! So now I’m here chatting and chilling...with my new boyfriend!”

“You sure know how to pick them Pascal.”

The popstar glared. “At least I can get a date.”

Jenny gagged. “True. Not even a sewer beast would date Toby. So you two hooked up?”

Mandy nodded. “It’s a dream come true. I thought I lost someone special in my life, that all I’d have are our memories. But we’re making so many new memories! I’m just happy.”

Pascal smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Eww,” Jenny said. “So as the reality show winner, what’s your take on the final four?”

“I think they’re all winners!”

“Well, they aren’t. That’s the point. So who are you rooting for?”

“It’s tough,” Mandy said, “but not really cause like I have to pick Ness! She’s my friend and I really appreciate her helping me at the mall! I almost wish she was here so we could hang out, but like also that would suck! Isn’t that crazy? I totally want her to be my bridesmaid!”

“Bridesmaid?” Pascal asked.

“Yeah Pascy-Wascy. You know, for our inevitable wedding. Of course Seraphina’s got to be there! She’s so sweet too. She loves to listen to what have to say, especially all my memories of Pascal. Like that time you fell, or that time you choked, or that other time you fell-”

“Wedding?” Pascal asked. “Wedding?”

“Maybe she could conduct the ceremony! Wouldn’t that be like, so crazy? I mean without her support we’d never have gotten together. I’m gonna ask her what she thinks!”

Mandy jumped up, skipping down the beach.

WEDDING?” Pascal asked. He buried his face in his hands, as if overlooking all his choices up to now.

“Now that she’s gone,” Toby said. “How about we interview the actual contestant.”

“I guess,” Jenny sighed. “So Pascal, how’s it feel to lose yet again?”

Pascal glared. “It sucks...but I guess it’s my own fault. In hindsight, I didn’t play the best game.”

“Some would use the word worst,” Toby said.

“Any regrets?” Jenny asked.

Pascal looked down. “I’ve gone over the moves again and again. I could’ve formed a different alliance. Or if I paid attention to those stupid cups. ...Still, I think the biggest regret I have is how I hurt Ness. She didn’t deserve to be used like that.”

“I was actually thinking dating Amanda Picklestein,” Jenny said. “But that’s up there. Good luck with her. I better be invited to the wedding!”

The two walked away as Pascal started rocking back and forth, muttering, “Wedding?”


Cynthia sat alone, sharpening her knives. Jenny and Toby watched her from behind a sandcastle.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to interview her?”

“Me? This was your idea!”

“You’re the sidekick!”

Cynthia looked up. The two screamed and ran off.


At the shore, Easton and Weston played a game of volleyball against Xidorn and Vance. Weston passed the ball to his brother, who jumped up and slammed it past Vance and Xidorn. The twins high-fived. Jenny and Toby ran up, panting.

“Great score Easton.”

“Great pass Weston.”

Vance groaned. “Just cause you're bros again, don’t mean you need to compliment each other all the time.”

“You’re just jealous the score’s 13-0,” Easton teased.

“We scored a point earlier!” Vance yelled.

“No we didn’t,” Xidorn admitted. “That was a foul. A very obvious foul.”

“Hmph, the only fowls that matter are the feathered kind,” Vance replied.

“Well, well, you two are buds again,” Jenny said.

The twins glared. “Yeah, after you…”

“...split us up,” the other replied.

Jenny shrugged. “I couldn’t have done it without you two. But, is everything really okay between you two?”

“The first thing we did when I got here was talk,” Weston said.

“We really missed each other,” Easton admitted. “We just had issues we never admitted. In a way, this show made us healthier.”

“Yeah!” Weston agreed. “Like now I don’t mind being apart from Easton.”

“And I’m not as worried about him.”

“And I’m not jealous! I’m proud of who I am!”

“I’m not either!”

The two twins hugged each other.

"Not even a little resentment about Easton abandoning you?”

“I actually get it,” Weston said. “After our fight, I realized I didn’t know who I was outside of being a twin either. But thanks to dating Cynthia and making all these new friends, I realize I want to have things that are just my life. I can be just Weston and be happy.”

“We still have fights,” Easton admitted. “We’re still working things out, but we’re honest with each other.”

“Easton's still leaving you to go to a big, fancy college though,” Jenny reminded.

Weston shook his head. “That's okay! Now I know I want to be a detective! I actually got accepted!”

“Really? A college accepted you?”

Weston stuck out his tongue. “Uh-huh! Thanks to Cynthia, Xidorn and Easton’s help, I’m going to study abroad at Toronto DaVinci Education University! They have a really cool criminal justice department.”

Easton placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I’m really proud of you bro.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you bro!”

The two hugged each other again.

Jenny rolled her eyes. “Let’s go sidekick. We need to find someone who’s more of a trainwreck.”


Lita and Seraphina laid out on beach towels near the bar, sipping from coconuts.

Lita sighed. “I always wanted to sip from a coconut.”

“Right?” Seraphina asked. “I can’t believe I use to hate the beach.”

“You just weren’t with the right company.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

The two girls laughed, clinking their coconuts together. They sipped the last of their drinks, tossing them into a pile of empty coconuts.

“Should we order another one?” Lita asked.

“We shouldn't,” Seraphina replied.

She immediately shot up her hand. “Another juice please!”

The co-hosts walked up, obscuring their light. “How goes it loser ladies?”

Lita turned on her side. “Good, till you showed up.”

“Don’t talk to us unless you have our drinks,” Seraphina replied.

Jenny snapped her fingers. Toby stomped off. In seconds he returned, dumping the coconuts on the girls.

"Uhhh!"

"B****!"

“Since that’s taken care of,” Jenny said, “Let’s get interviewing. Seraphina, still a psychic?”

“Obviously,” Seraphina said.

“She’s been practicing a lot more,” Lita added. “It's so cool!”

Seraphina blushed. “I just had some good support…”

“Maybe she knows who wins the show," Toby said.

“No spoilers!” Jenny shouted.

Seraphina shook her head. “I’ll say I’ve seen different paths for the final four, possible futures. A lot can change though; I’ve learned the future is determined by people, not the other way around. Anyone one can win, though it’ll be harder for some than others…”

“I got to ask,” Jenny said, “Do you regret your decision to go home right before the merge?”

“Why would I?” Seraphina asked.

“Two million dollars,” Toby replied.

“True,” Seraphina said, “but I knew that when I did it. I did it...for my friends. Nothing’s happened that convinced me that I made a mistake. My Fizzled Fireworks have been killing it. Not to mention Ness and Ignacio are still there.”

“I guess it’s obvious who you two want to win,” Jenny said.

“Ness all the way,” Seraphina said.

“I knew our girl had it in her,” Lita replied.

Jenny smirked. “Anybody else you're rooting for?”

“If Ness loses, then of course we want Iggy to win,” Seraphina said. “I like Melissa too though, so I won’t be bummed."

“Actually,” Lita admitted. “If Ness doesn’t win...then I really hope Jasper does.”

“Ooh,” Jenny replied. “Why's that, huh?”

Lita blushed. “He’s kind, caring, brave, thoughtful, smart...I mean he was so cool in solving the Phantom of the Pentagram challenge. Or how he really should’ve won the fantasy challenge. No offense to Ignacio, but Jasper destroyed the chalice. I think Jasper’s amazing.”

“He has played a good game,” Seraphina said.

“I wish we never voted him off,” Lita stated. “We could’ve used him...and me and him could’ve spent more time together.”

“You don’t think he’s undeserving because he returned?” Toby asked.

Lita glared. “Anyone who thinks Jasper doesn’t deserve to win can shut up. That boy proved himself.”

“Someone's already on the prowl for a new boyfriend," Jenny teased.

“It’s not like that,” Lita said, blushing even harder. “I’m not looking to date anyone for a long time. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

Seraphina shook her head, but patted Lita’s back.

“So you're not jealous Ignacio dumped you for your best friend?” Jenny asked.

“Obviously not,” Lita said. “Iggy’s still my friend, I respect him. If I swung that way I’d be in love with Ness too! I’m happy for my girl. I just hope one of the two of them says something. It’s so sad how they obviously like each other, but aren’t saying anything.”

Seraphina facepalmed. “Really?”

As the co-hosts walked away, Seraphina called out. “By the way, remember Howard Taft High.”

“Why?” Toby asked.

Seraphina closed her eyes, laying back against the towel. “Trust me, you’ll need to.”


Vance sat at the juice bar, chugging a drink, as Jenny and Toby passed by.

“Here to interview me already?”

Jenny and Toby kept walking.

Vance cleared his throat. “I said, here to interview me already?”

Jenny sighed. “Fine. Enjoying Playa Des Losers?”

Vance smirked. “As much as bloodhound chewin' on a big ol' catfish head.”

“You have any regrets?” Jenny asked.

“Only going out so close to the end,” Vance admitted. “And not catchin that darn horse. But I played a great game.”

“Debatable,” Toby said.

“What about being outed as a liar on national TV?” Jenny asked.

Vance blushed. “I ain’t proud of that, but I’m past it. Lucky I got such good friends, like my deputy Xidorn. I owe a lot to him. Least of all how to read.”

Jenny and Toby started to walk away, but Vance kept talking. “It feels like just yesterday when we all met…”

Vance stared off into the distance.

Seraphina raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing Vance?”

“Having a flashback.”


At a daycare, preschool versions of the Genesis newcomers were running loose like prisoners during a jailbreak.

Toddler versions Lita and Jasper were spilling glitter on the table. Ignacio and Tessa were standing on chairs building a block tower. Weston and Easton were having an indoor water balloon fight with Riley and Griswold. Frannie was on Diamonique's shoulders, trying to grab a cookie chair. Melissa and Cynthia were writing on the walls in marker; Melissa drew a bunny, Cynthia drew the bunny’s unsolved murder.

Seraphina and Ness were bouncing on a couch, but Ness bounced too high and lodged herself in the ceiling. Pascal and Bethany were playing basketball inside, accidentally shattering the goldfish bowl. Hayden was pushing Aiden on a tricycle. Zipporah and Kalino were playing hangman with fingerpaint on the windows.

Toddler Xidorn, who still had dyed blue hair, and Toddler Vance, who still had a full-grown mustache at four, were riding a unicorn.

“Yeehaw!” Vance cried.

“Do you think we should let Ms. Rhonda free now?” Xidorn asked.

They looked over where an elderly, one-eyed, balding, hunchback Rhonda was taped to her rolling chair. “When I get out of here, you kids are going straight to time-out!”

Vance and Xidorn shared a laugh.

“Vance you're my best friend,” Xidorn said. “I’m so glad I'm your deputy.”

“Me too partner,” Vance said.

Kalino ran up giggling. “Come on guys, we’re gonna dunk old man Rhonda in the toilet!"

“NOT AGAIN!” Rhonda cried.


Vance looked away and sighed. “Good times, good times.”

The nearby newcomers stared at him.

“Vance we’ve haven't known each other for more than three months,” Seraphina said.

“...You sure?”

“How could we have all gone to preschool together?” Lita asked. “How would we been on this show?”

“I could’ve sworn that’s how we all met,” Vance admitted.

“Really?” Seraphina asked. “You and Xidorn were riding a unicorn in preschool?”

“Maybe it was a pegasus…”


Zipporah had excluded herself from everyone. She had her beach chair under a big, black umbrella and was reading a large tome. Even though she was covered in shade, she wore dark sunglasses. The two hosts approached her.

“Enjoying yourself?” Jenny asked.

Zipporah lowered her glasses, revealing her glare.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Any regrets about your time in the competition?” Toby asked.

“That I left such a beautifully gothic place so soon,” Zipporah sighed. “Now I’m trapped on an artificial beach that I can’t leave. I can only assume it was named Paradise Beach ironically. And the worst part?”

She motioned to the bar where Vance was laughing so hard, milkshake came out his nose. He ringed out his mustache.

“I’m surrounded by idiots. It’s like spending my summer in high school.”

“You’re living free in a five star hotel with a private beach,” Toby said. “Truly, you know suffering.”

Zipporah pulled up her glasses, turning her back to the hosts. The two rolled their eyes, walking away as Xidorn and Easton strolled up.

“Hey Zipporah,” Xidorn greeted. “Why are you sitting under an umbrella? This isn’t even a real beach.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand,” Zipporah replied.

“I don’t,” Xidorn replied. “That’s why I asked?”

“You’re already tan too,” Easton added.

“Go away,” Zipporah sighed, “I’m trying to read my dark literature in private.”

“Why did you even come out to the beach then?” Xidorn questioned.

Zipporah hid her face in her book.

“We actually wanted to invite you to the movie tonight,” Easton said. “We thought it might be up your alley!”

“It’s a 90s adaptation of P.S. Loathecraft’s ‘Coco Chuthlu’!” Xidorn squeed. “It’s not super well-known, but it is a cult classic.”

“It use to give me nightmares as a kid,” Easton said. “You should come!”

Zipporah shifted in her seat. “Well, I do enjoy Loathecraft...okay, I guess I’ll come.”

Easton and Xidorn high-fived as Zipporah rolled her eyes, but smiled a little.


Jenny and Toby strolled up to where Hayden and Aiden were tossing a frisbee.

“Hayden,” Jenny sighed, “the only one these losers I’m actually sad left!”

“You just say that because he gives you free therapy sessions,” Toby stated.

“And?”

“Wonderful to see you Jenny,” Hayden said, “but I wish you would be nicer to everyone here.”

“A lot of people do,” Jenny replied. “Weird, right? Hayden, are you disappointed how you went home?”

“Yeah,” Hayden admitted, “it sucked. I thought I was really there for my team, but it turned out to be the opposite. I just wish they had talked to me. Maybe I wasn’t the easiest to talk to though. Maybe I was bossy… It did show me I still have some growing to do.”

Toby yawned. “If it helps, I don’t even remember how you went home.”

“You know Jenny has told me a lot in our sessions,” Hayden said, “I’d love to talk with you. I think there’s a lot you’re repressing. I suspect someone hurt-”

“-Save it,” Toby replied. “If I wanted a psychiatrist I’d talk to a real one. Not a kid.”

Hayden pouted. “I’m not a kid…”

Aiden slapped him on the back. “Now you know how some of the Eagles felt.”

“I’ve heard you’ve been busy here,” Jenny said.

“I actually host a support group for being eliminated,” Hayden said. “We meet every Monday morning. It’s an open space where we can talk about our feelings. You should film it sometime, it’s a very positive experience.”

“Don’t,” Zipporah called. “It sucks eggs.”

Hayden glared. “She just says that because I suggested her poems needed more depth.”

“My poems are deeper than the ocean!”

“You know," Jenny said, "a lot of viewers were shocked to learn that your boyfriend was actually the host of the Canadian Total Drama series.”

“Yeah,” Lita said, walking over with Weston and Tessa. “It was a shocker.”

“I wish I could’ve been there,” Hayden said. “Isn’t Zac great?”

The three shared a look.

“Yeah…” Lita replied. “He’s...something alright.”

“He doesn’t seem like your type,” Tessa admitted.

“I know, he’s egotistical,” Hayden replied. “But you don’t know him like I do. He just has a hard time opening up. When you get close to him, he’s actually very caring.”

“Sounds like your boyfriend is just another project you’re trying to fix,” Zipporah yelled.

“He is not,” Hayden said. “Zac is very dear to me.”

“Golly, I can’t wait to meet him,” Aiden said.

“Me either. I’m sure you two would get along.”

“I bet he’s fun,” Weston said. "It'd be cool to have him as a host."

“The Canadians said otherwise,” Lita whispered.

Hayden cleared his throat. “I want to clarify that Zac had nothing to do with me being cast. I had already sent my audition tape before Zac was made host of Tides. Rhonda and Zac have assured me it didn’t contribute to the decision to cast me.”

“Yeah right!” Zipporah yelled.

Hayden frowned and started walking to the goth. “Zipporah, I know you’re trying to push me away, but you need to stop pushing people away in general because-”

“-Don’t start!”

The two immediately started squabbling.

“Is this normal?” Toby asked.

Aiden sighed and nodded. “They do it all the time.”

“It’s healthy for them honestly,” Tessa said.

“Really?”

Tessa nodded. “Hayden gets a troubled, immature youth to fill his compulsive need to dote and nag. Zipporah gets an overbearing, authority figure to continuously rebel against because they’ll always respond.”

"Yikes."

“I’m glad Zipporah was on the Fireworks,” Aiden admitted. “Maybe Melissa would’ve have gotten along with her, but those two and Vance and Kalino. Like cats and dogs.”

“I guess we shouldn’t bother asking who you’re rooting for,” Jenny sighed.

Aiden giggled, blushing and nearly tripping over his feet. “Hehehe, what can I say? I’m rooting for my sweet honey bunny.”

Jenny tried not to retch.

“Any regrets?” Toby asked.

Aiden stroked his chin. “Gee, I wish I got off on a better foot with some people. Not being eliminated would be nice too. I did miss out on a barrel of fun. I wish I could’ve been there for Melissa more...but we’ll have all the time to spend together after the show!”

“Oh yeah,” Jenny said, “you both live here in D.C.”

“Having to spend most of our days in Playa Des Losers is the roughest part,” Aiden admitted. “I miss being able to go see the monuments, to smell the American system at work in the air.”

Aiden took a deep breath. Toby raised an eyebrow.

“As our happy go-lucky patriot,” Toby said, “what do you make of the potential winner? Will America’s first Total Drama winner be a good representative?”

Aiden immediately nodded. “I think all of the final four have worked really hard. I think they have good character too. That’s all that matters to me. Not everyone who does represent our country should...they make us long bad. I think I did the same at one point. I believe our winner will make us proud!”

Quietly to himself, he added, “Especially if it’s Melissa…”

“Jenny, Toby!” Hayden shouted. “Explain to Zipporah that Zac is not why I was cast.”

“Uh, yeah totally not,” Jenny said. “Um, so we’re going to go interview more people. Byeeeee!”

The two co-hosts quickly walked off.


The two co-hosts walked through the beach. They stopped to see Cynthia staring at them. She dug two person-sized holes in the sand.

Toby gulped. “You don’t think she’s trying to-”

Jenny had already started running away.


She ran into the hotel lobby. She emptied the sand from her shoes. Toby followed after her.

“Don’t bother,” Toby said, “we still have interviews.”

“I don't want to!”

“This was your idea.”

“Yeah, but I forgot how much I didn’t care about their lives! I think being around a crying, heaving Rhonda right now would be more enjoyable.”

“We promised Rhonda we’d do this. We’re finishing it.”

“FINE. But I’m not doing it for the newcomers who names I don’t remember. I’m not doing it for Rhonda. I’m not doing it for you. No; I’m doing it for the fans! To give the fans what they really want...more screen time for me!”

“You never stop giving Jenny.”

“I know, right?”

She flipped her ponytail, skipping away and kicking sand on Toby as she did so.


Jenny and Toby peaked into the hotel’s kitchen. The kitchen was a wreck, the walls and ceiling splattered with food and dirty utensils everywhere.

Standing at the oven, taking turns sticking their fingers in and licking the bowl, were Diamonique and Frannie. Ziba, Frannie’s pet lemur, was passed out in flour.

“I don’t want to know,” Toby said.

“If isn’t everyone’s favorite duo,” Jenny greeted.

“Really?” Frannie asked.

“Ha, ha, no. Maybe someone’s. Toby and me count as a duo though, so we’re probably more popular just because of me.”

“Or in spite of it.”

“YOUR MOM!”

“Do you want something?” Diamonique asked. “Cause this food isn’t for you.”

“We have questions,” Jenny said. “Diamonique, how did you feel about your second chance?”

Diamonique shrugged. “I feel I did better than people expected; I kicked butt at the first challenge and played a good strategic game...till I didn’t. I think I left a mark, but final 11 was so long ago that maybe I’m just forgotten again.”

Frannie patted her shorter, squatter friend on the back.

“Any regrets?”

“Not that many,” Diamonique admitted. “I did what I thought I should. But…”

Diamonique plopped down on the ground. “I wish I had more fun at the merge. I do honestly feel bad for what happened with two people. Melissa and Jasper.”

“Why?”

“I totally used Melissa,” Diamonique said. “She really did do nothing to me, and I hurt her. With Jasper, I really did want us to be the final two. I was always genuine with him and I feel like I let him down too.”

“Now, when your bus arrived to the loser lodge late,” Jenny said. “We still don't understand what happened, but you and Cynthia showed up at the same time.”

Diamonique froze, staring off in the distance, eyes-wide, shivering.

Frannie shook her head. “Give her a minute. She gets like that every time that comes up.”

“How about you Frannie?” Jenny asked. “Any regrets?”

Frannie’s smile fell. “Of course. I made a fool of myself on national television. Guess I really am a clown, ha…ha...”

“Have you hashed it out with Kalino?” Toby asked.

“Me and Kalino talked a little...but I don’t think either of us got much out of the conversation.”

“You should try punching him,” Jenny suggested. “Or kicking him the nuts!”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Frannie admitted. “In a way I still care about him. I know what’s going on with him. But...I can’t talk to him. I don’t know what I want... A do-over?”

“You put in a few shows with your circus,” Toby recalled. “How were they?”

She smiled softly. “It was like Christmas. So much fun with my favorite people.”

“How’s the circus now?” Jenny asked.

“Closed.”

Diamonique groaned, shaking her head. “What did I miss?”

Frannie immediately smiled as big as she could. “Not much. They were just asking me questions.”

Diamonique shot the two a look. “Don’t let them bother you. You-”

“It’s fine,” Frannie said. “Really. I want to add, I feel bad about Melissa too. I thought she voted off Diamonique to save Aiden. But I never talked to her about it! Maybe if I did, things would’ve gone differently…”

Ding.

The two turned to the oven. They threw down the door, smoke flooding the kitchen.

“We want to make it up to Melissa,” Diamonique said.

“We’re doing it in the most Melissa way possible,” Frannie added, “by baking her something!”

Diamonique pulled out a grey, gelatinous, melting, tiered...thing out of the oven. It was taller than her.

“Is that a...cake?” Toby asked.

“You butter believe it is!” Frannie giggled. “Our own recipe!”

“We made it with our favorite foods,” Diamonique said. “It’s got sugar, strawberries, alfredo sauce…”

“...marshmallows, pineapple, turkey legs…”

“...jumbo shrimp, a couple of KFC Chicken Cheeto sandwiches, various soups…”

“...We used ostrich eggs instead of normal eggs! Ooh, and the most important ingredient…”

“Love,” the two said in unison.

“It’s what Melissa uses,” Diamonique said. “I hope it’s just as good…”

“Wanna sample?” Frannie asked.

The two turned to see Jenny and Toby had been gone. They shrugged. Frannie stuck her finger in...and fell to the ground.

Diamonique raised an eyebrow. “More salt?”


Xidorn sat in the hotel’s cafe, typing away at his computer. Jenny, Toby ever following behind her, pulled up a seat for herself.

“What’cha working on?”

Xidorn didn’t look up. “I’ve actually been filming the past couple of weeks. I did stop-motion in the past, but this is my first live-action project.”

“OOH!” Jenny cheered. “I should cameo! I could play a queen, or a goddess queen, or a Christmas queen, or-”

“-I’ve finished filming,” Xidorn said. “Also to be honest, I doubt you can act.”

Jenny pouted. “I’ve managed to fool you guys a few times.”

“A lot of the newcomers volunteered to help,” Xidorn stated. “I’m hoping to finish editing so I can upload it around the finale. It’ll be great promotion and a nice send-off!”

“What’s it about it?” Toby asked.

“Well I had no budget,” Xidorn said, “but I did have a private beach to use. It’s a tribute to terrible Z-movies that I love. Easton plays this guy who goes looking for his lost father, played by Vance, who's this famous archaeologist.”

“Wow, I tota-”

“-So he goes to Egypt and discovers his dad is kidnapped by an ancient mummy, Bethany,...who is actually his mom! I don’t know a title yet, thinking ‘Are You My Mummy?’ or ‘Mummy Dearest’, but I feel like someone has used those.”

“So-”

“It turns out our hero has a twin mummy brother,” Xidorn continued, now standing. “Weston plays him. They’re actually mummies because the hotel has free toilet paper, but I think their make-up helps make them scary. Anyway, Seraphina plays the love interest; a rival mummy and daughter of Cleopatra.”

“You cast your girlfriend as the leading lady?” Toby asked.

Xidorn blushed, but shrugged. “I didn’t have a lot of choices...and she’s really perfect for the role. She encouraged me to write it, read all my drafts...she’s like my muse.”

“So you and her are still dating?” Jenny asked. “Even after a few rough patches?”

Xidorn rolled his eyes. “The only time we disagreed was about a game we’re not playing anymore. I respect Seraphina and I’m happy to find someone so cool and respecting. You don’t let a girl like that go over a game.”

"So any regrets?” Toby asked.

“Everyone has regrets,” Xidorn said. “I regret trusting Kalino...but I still have a soft spot for him. I regret voting off Diamonique. The first time. I wish I voted her off the second time. I regret voting Frannie off more than anyone in hindsight.”

He leaned back in his seat. “To be honest though? I’m not really losing sleep over anything. I got to be on my favorite show, I got a kickass girlfriend, I made some awesome friends like Vance and Weston, ...and I even made my dad proud. What more could I ask for?”

“Two million dollars,” Jenny replied. “But whatever, be happy with all that sappy crap. Hope your little movie doesn’t completely suck.”

Xidorn smiled and waved. “Hope your little show isn’t really cancelled.”


In the hotel’s gym, Tessa was running on a treadmill. She was smiling, till she was Jenny leaning against her treadmill.

“Working out?” Jenny asked. “Really?”

“I’m an Olympic athlete,” Tessa replied. “I have to stay in shape. I wish the Pentagram had a gym.”

“It does,” Toby replied. “You guys never found it. Then again all the equipment is booby-trapped…”

“Lovely,” Tessa said. “Sorry I missed it.”

“You’ve came, left and returned to Playa Des Losers,” Jenny said. “Must have been fun.”

“Not a lot of people were excited to see me the first time,” Tessa recalled. “Not that I blame them. I think after what Riley said and being here with the other early boots, it helped me. So I’m thankful I was eliminated the first time.”

“Were you happy to be here the second time?”

“Instead of Jasper?” Tessa asked. “Yes. In general? No. I’ll forgive Melissa after the show, but I’m not rooting for her. I’ll call her out if she’s in the final two. I just hope she isn’t.”

“Be honest Tessa,” Jenny said, “Is the hatchet really buried with everyone? Isn’t there still some tension between you and the others?”

“They forgave me,” Tessa replied. “I tried to make amends with everyone I was mean to. It was awkward when I arrived the second time, but by now we’re cool. I appreciate it. I want to prove I’m worthy of their trust.”

“Everyone?” Toby asked. “Even Kalino?”

Tessa shrugged. “Okay, not him. But it’s not like I’m picking fights with him. He isolates himself by choice...and that’s easier honestly.”

She stopped the treadmill, wiping herself with a rag before tossing it at the co-hosts. “If you’re really curious about Kalino, ask him yourselves.”


Kalino sat alone on his balcony. He meditated so quietly he could be mistaken for a corpse. His silence was interrupted by Jenny and Toby throwing up the door and marching out.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” Jenny asked.

Kalino shrugged. “I don’t know mannnnnn…”

“You’re not supposed to be out here,” Toby stated. “We don’t want fans, or the remaining newcomers, to discover where Playa Des Losers is.”

Kalino nodded, but stared out at the city.

“The other newcomers said you were isolating yourself,” Toby said.

“It’d be awkward if I was around. I don’t want them to deal with that, so I only go to the luas.”

“I’m guessing you have regrets about the game,” Jenny said.

Kalino forced a laugh. “Yeah. All of it I guess.”

“So why did you do it?” Toby asked.

Kalino shrugged. “I was trying to prove myself.”

“That’s a weak excuse.”

“I don’t know man, what do you want me to say? What was thinking? I wasn’t.”

He stood up, walking inside. “If I won I’d show everybody I’m actually a smart dude. If I had the money I could live my life the way I wanted, my parents or teachers or all those Type As couldn’t tell me how to live. I could be happy and show that I’m actually right. That’s I was thinking.”

“I guess you showed you were wrong,” Jenny replied.

“Guess so,” Kalino said.

“How did it feel to find almost everyone voted you off?” Jenny asked.

“It didn't matter,” Kalino said. “Yeah, it's an elimination game, but it’s still a game. Everything about it is so...silly. I mean our ‘life in the game’ is represented by crappy coffee to advertise a cafe. Plus, we all knew we had to vote for each other when we signed up. I admit I took it too serious at times, but I wasn’t gonna leave upset about a game. Not everybody felt the same way.”

“How did it feel to find out Frannie didn’t vote you off?” Toby asked.

Kalino frowned, glaring at the taller co-host. “It was the worst part.”

Jenny beamed, letting herself out as Toby followed. “That was the most fun interview we’ve done here!”

“It was the most upsetting.”

“Exactly! Finally some bitterness in my loser’s special.”


The two marched back onto the beach, where most of the losers were chilling around the juice bar. Griswold and Riley were cuddling together on a beach chair. Nearby, Jabberjaw was tanning on the beach.

Jenny gagged. “Talk about cooties.”

“You’re still here?” Griswold asked.

“Well we have to talk to our newest loser,” she replied. “Riley, you seemed upset last night."

Riley yawned and shrugged. “Eh, I’m over it.”

“Wait, what? Already?”

Griswold chuckled. “She hates pity parties.”

“I just had the right people to make me feel better,” Riley replied, kissing Griswold’s cheek.

Jabberjaw looked up at her.

“And fish, obviously.”

Jabberjaw gave a thumbs up.

“I guess I’m just not the kind of dude to dwell on that stuff,” Riley admitted. “I’m still a little bummed, but honestly I’m having too good a time to stew.”

“Where have you two been anyway?” Toby asked.

The two looked at each other and blushed.

Cut to video of Riley and Griswold making out in a hot tub, then making out in the hotel cafe, then making out at the hotel spa, then making out in the laundry room…

“Just...catching up,” Griswold replied.

“What about you big hair,” Jenny said. “Aren’t you upset you were voted off?”

“I was,” Griswold replied, “and I’m still not very happy with Kalino, but he got his. I’m really proud that my team killed it at the merge! I knew they would though.”

“So who are you two rooting for?” Toby asked.

After a moment, they simultaneously said, “Iggy.”

“He’s our Flannery Bro’ Connor,” Riley said.

“Our team would’ve lost a lot without him,” Griswold said. “Plus, I mean he’s just awesome!”

“I’d still love Loch Ness to win,” Riley added.

Griswold nodded. “She’d be great too! She’d earn it. I’m not so high on Jasper. Voting me off does that.”

“Same with Miss Melissa,” Riley said. “But I’d be happy for them. They worked hard.”

Griswold nodded.

“UGH!” Jenny cried out. “What is wrong with all of you?”

“We were all on a reality show?” Weston suggested.

“You’re all pretending your friends forever now,” Jenny said. “But look around; these people are all the reason you’re here now. They voted you off, defeated you, lied to you, even humiliated you on TV! You should be mad and bitter, not throwing luas. You-ahhhhhh!”

A basketball pelted Jenny in the back of the head, face planting her in the sand.

Bethany whistled to herself.

“It’s not all smiles and sunshine everyday,” Xidorn admitted. “Some things are still painful.”

A few of the newcomers frowned or looked down.

“But we can’t change it,” Griswold said. “And we don't want to be mad. We’re at a beach; we want to have a good time.”

“Right now you’re ruining our good vibes,” Aiden added.

“You think you’d show us more appreciation,” Jenny stated. She stood up, dusting off sand. “I’m sacrificing some of my valuable screen time to give to the less fortunate. I mean the audience has forgotten you guys. I’m trying to remind them of you!”

“What a saint,” Tessa said.

“Exactly!”

“I think it’s time you two leave Paradise Beach,” Bethany stated.

“Oh yeah,” Jenny replied. “We’re the co-hosts! In-case you forgot, we're in charge! Not some Loser Queen."

Jenny knocked off Bethany's crown. "Maybe I’ll make you do a challenge just for fun. What are you losers going to do about it?”

Ahem.”

Jenny and Toby turned around. Cynthia stared them down, revving her chainsaw.

“You haven’t interviewed me yet.”

Jenny forced a laugh. “Oh darn, we actually ran out of time in the chapter...I mean episode.”

“We were just leaving,” Toby added.

“You can’t go without interviewing my girlfriend!” Weston shouted. “That’s not fair!”

Seraphina smirked. “I agree. Give the fans what they want; a close and personal interview with Cynthia.”

“I mean...I’m sure you don’t have any big regrets,” Toby said.

Cynthia nodded.

“Probably rooting for Melissa, right?” Jenny asked.

“She’s my best friend,” Cynthia replied.

“Glad we cleared that up!” Jenny said. “So, we’ll just be making our way…”

The two tried to run, but Cynthia grabbed them by their collars. “Aren’t you curious what I’ve been doing here? Don’t you want to see what I’ve been working on?”

Diamonique covered her eyes, shaking in fear. “No, no, nono, nonono, nononono…”

The two snapped free of their collars and ran off screaming.

“Finally,” Xidorn sighed.

Weston ran up to Cynthia putting his arms around her. “You’re the best babe.”

“I know.”

“Anyone thinking what I’m thinking?” Riley asked.

“Taxes are just a subscription fee for your country?” Frannie replied.

“Uh, no,” Riley said. “True though. I was thinking we should throw a party that they left!”

The rest of the newcomers cheered.

Riley smiled and winked at Griswold, before running off to plan the party. Griswold and Tessa high-fived before chasing after her.

Chapter 26 School Of Four[]

Jasper whistled to himself, strolling down the hall. He opened the door to the penthouse suite, his whistling dying out. Trashcans were knocked over, all the drawers were open and rummaged through, and his suitcase was completely overturned. 

“Hello?”

He stepped in, closing the door. “Is the maid here?”

“Heh, heh, hey…”

From under the bed, a maid climbed out. She was a young Asian woman, about the same age as the newcomers. She wore sharp, angular glasses. “I was just um...cleaning the room.”

“I can see that,” Jasper replied. “You’re not the usual maid.”

“I’m filling in for her,” the new maid said. “Poor dear, she’s a little under the weather.”

Jasper raised an eyebrow. “Okay, hope she feels better. Would you mind straightening up the place? Then maybe cook pizzas for dinner? The other newcomers are coming over tonight.”

The maid scowled, but forced a smile. “Of course I can! It’s part of the job…”

She started to pick up the garbage as Jasper zipped up his luggage.

“So,” the maid said, “it must have been nice to beat your brother yesterday?”

Jasper smirked. “Maybe the most satisfying moment of my life.”

“So now what?”

“Huh?”

“You made the final four. So what’s your plan going forward?”

“I mean win the remaining challenges if I can. I think I have few options on who to move forward with.”

“What are you going to do if you win?”

“Um...I have no idea.”

“UH!” the maid gagged. “Really? Would it kill you to saying something interesting.”

Jasper frowned. “You’re not really a maid, are you?”

The maid stood up, smirking. “Alright, you’re a clever egg. More than people thought. I’m here for a story. You seem like the frontrunner, so I thought I’d find it here. Too bad you could bore tears off a crocodile.”

“You should leave,” Jasper said. “Because I will let Rhonda know you’re here.”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” she replied. “I’m leaving.”

She opened the door, but stopped to stare down Jasper. “Enjoy your room and your victory over your brother. While people still remember you. Because when this show is over? You’ll just be another nobody.”

She blew a kiss before closing the door behind her. Jasper looked at the ground, feeling defeated. 


In the kitchen, Melissa was working away on some sweet treat. Ness watched her from the serving hatch.

“You alright?” the jinx asked. 

“I’ve never had more pep in my step!” Melissa replied.

“Really? Because you bake to calm yourself and you seem to be a little...bake crazy.”

“What makes you say that?”

Ness pointed at Melissa’s whisk. She pulled the whisk out of the bowl she was stirring; she had worn it into a nub. 

“I guess I’m just...feeling bad about Riley’s elimination.”

Ness nodded. “Me too. I hope she’s having a good time wherever we go when we’re eliminated. Hopefully we’ll never find out when we’re in the final two!”

Melissa smiled, and started whisking heavily again.


“The only reason I’m here is because of a deal I made with Jasper,” Melissa said. “I promised him Final 3, but I promised Ness Final 2. No one is questioning Jasper’s change in vote, but I don’t want to explain it to Ness. I’m worried if I can’t keep that deal, or even if I’ll make the finals. I feel like I dug myself into a deep hole and I don’t know how to get out…”


Ignacio strolled in the kitchen. He smiled and waved at Ness, who blushed and waved back.

“Good afternoon ladies,” Ignacio greeted. “I just wanted to remind you Melissa not to make dinner. We’re having a first class viewing party.”

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten,” Melissa replied. “ Although, I could make dessert for tonight…”

She dashed back into the kitchen as Ness and Ignacio laughed. They looked at each other, before blushing.

“Um, well,” Ignacio said. “I wanted to ask you something Ness…”

“Yeah?” she replied.

Ignacio opened his mouth. “I wanted to know... to...to...I mean you don’t have to...I don’t want to put you on the spot, but I mean I’d be thrilled, but no pressure because…”

“Um, Iggy,” Ness said. “If this about the last vote? I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I’m not happy with it either...but it was what I thought was best.”

“No, no, I understand. I’m sad Riley left, but I promise I’m not mad. I’ll...talk to you later.”

He waved before rushing off.


“I decided I’m finally going to ask Ness out,” Ignacio said. “Riley was right, I’m going to regret it if I never try! She’s not here to encourage me anymore, so it’s up to me to work the nerve. And I will! ...Eventually.”


Ness hung her head, then jumped as saw Melissa standing directly behind her.

“Melissa! Don’t scare me like that…”

“Dear, I believe Iggy was about to ask you out.”

Ness scoffed. “I doubt that.”

Melissa patted her shorter friend’s head. “As your gal pal, I can say I’m 200% certain that Ignacio is head over heels with you.”

“That’s not a real percentage.”

“Ooh, tell him that. I’m sure smart stuff like that would churn his butter.”

Ness shook her head. 

“I mean, do you have a crush on him? I just assumed.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ness replied. 


“Okay, so maybe I have a tiny crush on Ignacio,” Ness admitted. “Sure he’s hot, but it really hadn’t formed till the merge. He’s just so kind, dedicated, intelligent, thoughtful...I’m just happy to spend time with him.”

She had a lovestruck look on her face, before frowning. “It doesn’t matter. I know how this goes. Look at Markie, or Pascal or Blainerson. I’m setting myself up to fail by liking Ignacio. I use to think I was unlucky in love. The truth is, I was just too hopeful. Not this time.”


Later that night, the four remaining newcomers were chilling in the luxury suite. They clinked glasses of punch while Melissa started cutting the pizza. Jasper started playing a DVD from a collection. 

“This was a great idea Jasper!” Ness cheered. “Doing a binge-watching party of the first Total Drama season.”

“Thanks,” he replied. “I just noticed they had all the seasons on DVD. And Total Drama Island is a classic.”

“Now I can finally get the references the show is making,” Ignacio said. 

“If only we had done this sooner,” Melissa said. “We could be on season five now.”

Jasper and Ness both scowled.

“Or we could skip that one,” N.ess said.

“As much as I want to,” Jasper said, “they should see it. It’s part of the franchise. Still, there are so many good seasons…”

“I didn’t realize you were such a Total Drama fan,” Melissa said.

Jasper blushed. “I watched it a lot when I was younger. I always wanted to do something like it.”

“Now you have,” Ignacio reminded.

Jasper smiled. He lifted his glass, and the others followed suit. “To the final four! May we do our best in the final challenges and be worthy of our Total Drama predecessors!”

The other three cheered and clinked their glasses with Jasper. They took a seat on the beds as the show started and I Wanna Be Famous started playing…


“This was so awesome,” Jasper sighed. “I think that was the first party I’ve ever hosted! Actually, it was the first party I’ve ever been to. It was so much fun! Everyone loved it. This show has given me so many firsts. I...I’ve never been this happy.”

He paused. “And when it’s over, I’ll go back to being a nobody. Just like that reporter said. Nobody will be forced to spend time with me and they’ll forget me. I guess I can’t blame them..."


The next morning, the newcomers were waiting in the lobby for the challenge while discussing the season.

“And I thought this hotel was parlous,” Ignacio said. “I can’t imagine living on that camp.”

“Are you kidding?” Ness said. “I want to vacation there someday...well if it’s..sorry, spoilers.”

Melissa giggled, then yawned. “I just wish we could’ve watched more.”

“Why are we up so early,” Jasper said, finishing his own yawn. “It’s like we’re getting up for school.”

“Exactly!”

Jenny and Toby marched out. 

“Where’s Ms. Rhonda?” Melissa asked.

As if to answer her question, a door opened. Rhonda stumbled out, wearing an oversized bathrobe and one slipper. Her hair was wild and matted, her eyes bloodshot red. She drank soda straight from a two liter, carrying another under her arm. 

She turned to see the others watching her. She hissed and waddled away, falling into a closet. 

“She’s...going through something,” Toby said. 

“Mainly, our budget on soda,” Jenny said. “So it’s up to me and my trusty sidekick to make today’s challenge.” 

“At least we know it won’t be hard,” Ignacio whispered to Ness, cause her to giggle.

“Unfortunately, someone didn’t like all my ideas!”

Toby rolled his eyes. “Your ideas were stupid, unrealistic, or both. One challenge idea was just the word fire.”

“It was brilliant in its simplicity.”

“If only that could be said about you.”

“YOUR MOM!”

Melissa coughed. “So, what are we doing?”

“We found a few of Rhonda’s old ideas in her office,” Toby explained. “One she liked, but couldn’t get the budget. However, we found someone to help us with that. First thing’s first, you’ll need to get changed.”

Ignacio sighed. “Great, costumes.”


In a few minutes, the newcomers returned wearing preparatory school uniforms. 

“This isn’t as bad as it could’ve been,” Ignacio admitted.

Jasper pulled on his jacket. “Don’t tell me, we’re-”

“-Yup,” Jenny said. “You guys are going to the scariest, deadliest, vilest place known to man; high school."

Only Melissa seemed excited at the news. 

“Today’s challenge is a day in high school,” Toby said.

“Ooh, I hope that means club meetings,” Melissa said.

“Are we going to go to classes?” Ness asked. 

“Not like regular high school,” Jenny replied. “We mean like in the movies, where things are exciting. We don’t want footage of a math lecture or debate on Moby Dick.”

“Your goal is to live the movie version of high school,” Toby said. “You’ll have to complete five events, in a set order. Whoever can finish them first, or do the best job before the day ends, wins invincibility and whatever we decide is the reward.” 

And no, we’re not telling you the order,” Jenny said. “You have to figure that out on your own.”

A horn honked outside the door.

“The school bus is here. You don’t want to be late.”

“We’re going to an actual school?” Ness asked.

“Howard Taft High,” Toby replied. “An all-year school, meaning its summer break is shorter, but they have more breaks overall. They started two weeks ago.”

“The school loved my idea of being the setting for the challenge,” Jenny said.

“It wasn’t your idea and you know it.”

“Oh, whatever you stupid-”

The horn honked again. 

The newcomers rushed outside as the co-hosts continued to squabble. 


I love school!” Melissa said. “I was actually homeschooled till 7th grade, when I finally convinced my parents to let me join public school. It was an adjustment, but I made lots of friends! I was even president of the Honor Society before we moved to Washington. Not to mention an honorary member of all the clubs I volunteered at.”

She tapped her chin in thought. “I wonder what school I’ll go to now? Maybe me and Aidikins can go to the same one!”


The four newcomers found themselves separated and surrounded by students, eager to talk to the pseudo-celebrities. 

Ignacio had been swarmed by a group of girls and guys, all drooling over the model.

“OMG, can I take a selfie with you?”

“Well I-”

She already snapped a picture before he could reply.

Ness watched this from the corner of her eye, but was soon distracted by her own horde of admirers.

“I can’t believe I’m riding the bus with a celebrity,” a girl gushed. 

Ness blushed. “I’m not that famous.”

“Are you kidding? You’re so cool,” a boy said.

“Me? I don’t know…”

“Yeah, you’re in the final four on Total Drama!”

“Not to mention you took down that crazy horse,” another boy added. “So cool!”

Ness giggled a little, twirling a loose strand of hair around her finger. “I mean, I guess it was cool…”

“You’re probably the most popular girl at school now.”


“The most popular girl?” Ness asked. “I’ve never been popular. At my school I’m at the bottom of the food chain; even the janitors throw me in trashcans. You saw the video message I got… if it weren’t for the popular kids filming one of my…’epic fails’ and sending it an audition tape, I wouldn’t even be here.”

She froze, but smirked. “But here? People actually like me! For one day, I get to be popular. I think I’m going to like this challenge…”


Melissa was chatting with a few people, sharing her recipes. Most were disappointed she didn’t bring free samples. As subtle as she could, she tried to get information on the school’s layout.

Jasper was surprised to find a few girls offer him at seat when he stepped on. 

“It’s cool you’ve won so many challenges,” a girl said. 

Jasper smiled.

“Especially last challenge!”

Jasper beamed with pride.

“So...like is Blainerson really your brother?”

“Do you get to go backstage to his concerts?”

“Is he really a dog person?”

“Does he like blondes or redheads more?”

“Is he single?”

Jasper immediately scowled. 


“Should I pretend to be shocked?” Jasper asked. “Of course people only took away that Blainerson’s my brother; that’s all they take away from me. One of the reasons I don’t like school. I never have. That’s why I avoid those teen highschool movies; it just makes me sad about how terrible school actually is. I hope this challenge won’t be the same.”


When the bus reached the school, the newcomers raced off the bus. 

Ignacio noticed a football field as the bus pulled in and predicted there had to be a challenge there. Ness assumed there was always dance, figured it would be in the gymnasium, and got the other kids to point her in that direction. Jasper didn’t have a clue, racing down the halls looking for one.

Melissa went straight to the second floor.


“If you’re looking for something to help with,” Melissa said, “there’s one place in school to get all the info on upcoming events. My trusty friend…”


“...The bulletin board!” Melissa sighed. An endless amount of paper were tacked and stapled to its walls. Melissa scanned the board. 

“Uh oh.”


“According to these flyers,” Melissa said, waving papers in her hand. “Today is Picture Day, The science fair, and the State Championship football game! And prom’s tomorrow!”

She looked at the paper again. “Wait, prom’s tonight! Obviously they can’t all be scheduled; they were made as clues. They’re probably all over the school for us to find. Still, I have them all! And by looking at when they start, I think I know the order. Which means first is…”


Melissa ran into the library. Three teachers in lab coats stood around, holding clipboards and judging dioramas.

“Eeeeee!” Melissa squealed. “I found it!”

“Shush.”

She blushed and silently walked to the judges. 

“I’m here,” Melissa said. “So what’s the challenge?”

“You have to win the science fair,” the head judge replied. “With a baking soda volcano.”

The judge pointed to a corner, where tables of materials sat.

“You’ll have to sculpt a good looking volcano and create a proper reaction. If you do, you succeed. Fail and you have to build a new volcano from scratch. There are no instructions. Some of these ingredients will help, others aren’t involved. It’s up to you to make it right.”

Melissa nodded. “No problem! Mt. Melissa will be erupting soon!”


Ignacio had found a challenge at the football field, but wasn’t allowed to compete until he did others in the order. While heading inside, he saw a flyer for the science fair and was running to the library.

“STOP.”

Ignacio froze. Two students, wearing orange vests and dark shades, blocked his way. They pointed at their badges; hall monitors.

“No running in the halls.”

“I’m afraid there’s a misunderstanding, I’m not a-”

No running in the halls.”

“I don’t go here, I-”

“I don’t care if you’re one of those reality show foreign exchange students. No running.”

The other nodded. “Do you even have a hall pass punk?”

Ignacio crossed his arms. “And what if I don’t, wannabe cop?”

The hall-monitors smirked. “We’ve been given the authority to punish you. We’ll hold you in detention for five minutes.”

“Really?” the model sighed.

“Let’s book him.”

“Wait,” Ignacio said, “what about Jasper? He’s running too!”

Ignacio pointed behind them. The hall monitors looked directly at Jasper as he ran into the library.

“I don’t see anyone.”

“I thought I saw a sad tumbleweed, but that had to be my imagination. Now, about that hall-”

They turned around to see Ignacio running away.

“WE HAVE A RUNNER!”


“I generally like school now,” Ignacio said. “After all, I want I to teach science at a high school. Still, it’s not always been easy. I didn’t speak English when I started school. I couldn’t read or write like other students...so I was teased for it. It made me hate going to school.”

He smiled. “I was lucky to have a teacher who cared. I’ve had a few bad teachers, but they couldn’t outweigh all the great teachers I was lucky to have. They wanted me to learn and to succeed, not taking satisfaction in my failure. Still, I can’t blame anyone who doesn’t like school. Not everyone can be as lucky as I am.”


Ness entered the library, getting a heads up from a few students. She started on her volcano while her two competitors were almost finished.

“Done,” Jasper said.

He presented a rather small, average volcano. The judges watched him poor baking soda into the volcano. After about a minute, it released a tiny puff of smoke.

“Um...tada?”

The head judge tossed aside the volcano. Jasper sighed, returning to the work station. 

At the same time, Ignacio snuck into the library from the back door. Racing to the station, he breathed in. 

“I love the smell of science in the morning,” he sighed. 

Melissa eyed him nervously, as she coughed. 

“Presenting Mt. Melissa!”

She showcased a larger, pink volcano. She poured a heavy amount of baking soda into the volcano. She waited, but her volcano was too wide inside, allowing nothing to build up and thus no eruption. She hung her head as the head judge tossed it away. 

She returned to the table. She and the others tried to watch Ignacio work, but he secluded himself to a corner. After sculpting a big volcano with a narrow inside, he started work on his mixture; water, vinegar, a couple of red food drops, and some dish detergent.

Filling another bottle with some baking soda, he cleared his throat as he presented his volcano. 

“With this mixture,” he explained, pouring it into the volcano, “I will add baking soda and create carbon dioxide. The gas will try to expand and leave the volcano, instead forcing an eruption.”

To prove his point, he poured in the baking soda. Soon the insides fizzed and red liquid erupted from it. 

The audience and judges clapped. 

“Congratulations,” the head judge said, placing a red ribbon on his volcano. “You’ve won the science fair.”

Ignacio beamed and nodded. “Thank you, always happy to participate.”


“It wasn’t a fair contest,” Ignacio stated. “I mean, a baking soda volcano? I’ve been making those since I was ten. Those and bottle rockets are my specialty. I’m also rather skilled at the egg drop project; you know, when you have to drop an egg and have it land without cracking. A great starter in physics…”

He blushed. “Didn’t mean to brag. While avoiding the hall monitors, I did notice another flyer. It was in the cafeteria…”


The cafeteria entrance was a big, open doorway. At the other end, a man with a camera and a blank background tapped his foot. 

“Picture Day,” Ignacio said. “So, is this the right event?”

The photographer turned to Ignacio; he held up two fingers.

Ignacio smiled. “This is rather serendipitous...so what’s the catch?”

As he stopped to look around, he noticed the cafeteria was full of students, but no one was eating. As he entered, he met eyes with a girl. She smirked and cried out a familiar phrase…

“FOOD FIGHT!”

The model’s eyes grew wide right before his faced was smashed with mashed potatoes. Macaroni pelted his back, spaghetti assaulted his shirt and milk was spilt all over his front. He cried out before running to the photographer. He sat in front of the background, but the photographer only covered the camera's lens. 

“You don’t expect moi to photograph you like that, do you?”

Ignacio sighed. “So that’s the catch.”

“You’ll find spare uniforms at the lost and found,” he replied. “There are some bathrooms nearby too, to wash yourself.”

Ignacio rolled his eyes but darted off. 


“Um...I’d like to present my volcano.”

Ness cleared her throat. A few stray pieces of clay in her hair, she presented a volcano that while lopsided, was a volcano nonetheless. She poured in one mixture, then the other. 

It took about twenty seconds before the volcano melted. Then melted through the floor. 

“Um, well that was a reaction…”

“Not an explosion,” the judge said. 

Ness sighed and walked away. Melissa ran up, presenting a smaller and even pinker volcano.

“Presenting Mt. Aiden,” she said. “A much more cuter volcano.”

She poured in a mixture and took a few steps back. After a minute, nothing happened.

“You better-”

The volcano suddenly released an explosion of silver glitter. Melissa clapped as the judges awarded her a blue ribbon. 


Soon, Melissa was almost at the cafeteria. She turned to see Ignacio entering, taping multiple trashcan lids to himself. The food fight was still on going, with bits of…’meat’ landing outside the door.

Melissa stuck her head in and watched Ignacio use the lids as shields, blocking ham aimed at him. She bit her lip.


“I came to a realization,” Melissa said. “I promised Jasper final 3 and Ness final 2. For all three of us to be in the final 3...Ignacio has to go home. If I want to keep my promise, I have to vote for him. Which means he can’t win the challenge. I can’t let him.”

She gave a serious look at the camera, before looking like she was about to cry. “The thought of trying to sabotage Iggy makes me want to throw up…”


Melissa grabbed an empty cafeteria tray, blocking food with it as she followed behind Ignacio. She zigzagged and hide under tables, trying to avoid Ignacio seeing her, which actually helped her avoid in the incoming food. She noticed a pile of...unknown meat on the floor.

She looked up at Ignacio, then the meat. She got ready to throw it, but stopped as she heard a faint hissing. Digging through the meat...shape, she found a tiny cockroach.

“Awww!” She cried. “You poor pitiful baby.”

She cupped it in her hands and cuddled it. It shook at first, before nuzzling her back.

“You remind me of my babies,” Melissa replied. “You were just looking for something to eat, weren’t you? What better place for a little roach snack then this cafeteria and some...mystery meat.”


“My school’s cafeteria was never this unsanitary,” Melissa said. “Then again, I was an unofficial lunch lady. They just loved my recipes.”


“You could have been cooked up in this meat...stew? Loaf? Sandwich? Or stepped on in this fight.”

She snuck towards the door, pushing the tiny bug to safety. “Go on big guy, go find your family. Try to be a little more careful. That meat’s not worth it.”

As she crawled back through the tables, she noticed a plate full of cream corn. Her smile dropped.

Ignacio reached the photographer. He breathed easy, removing his makeshift armor to reveal a clean uniform. 

“Am I ready for a picture now?”

Cream corn pelted Ignacio’s shirt.

The photographer held up his nose. “You were.”

Melissa forced a smile as she ran up. “Here I am, not suspicious and ready for a picture!”

“No, you’re not.”

“What? But I didn’t get a spot on me.”

The photographer motioned her to twirl. She did, revealing a ketchup boat clinging to her back.

“Get new uniforms at the lost and found,” he said, turning his head.

Melissa sighed, but ran off. Ignacio glared at the photographer. 

“You now that strike was unmerited. Isn’t this a safe zone?”

The shutterbug shrugged. “It is, but I can’t help if students don’t listen. I need a bien picture.”

Ignacio rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. “You want a good picture?”

He tore off his shirt, revealing his sculpted pecs and abs. Adopting his model persona, he flashed a perfect smile. Everyone in the cafeteria stopped, staring. The photographer immediately started snapping pictures.

“I’ve never had such a fantastique subject,” he sighed. “Tres bien!”

Ignacio did a few poses, before dropping his smile and putting back on his shirt. “There, can I pass.”

Oui,” the photographer replied. “Please monsieur, you must model for me sometime.”

“I model for professionals,” Ignacio replied. “Not amateurs.”


"Maybe I was a little harsh,” Ignacio said. “But that guy was unfair and insufferable. I suspect he wasn’t even French.”


BOOM.

Ness was flung through the library window, landing in a garbage can. She coughed up smoke. The library went up in gigantic flames, even as the sprinkler systems came up.

The head judge crawled on their hands out the door. Her lab coat was signed and glasses cracked.

Ness approached her slowly. 

“So...I guess I better try again.”

The judge groaned, but pulled out a burned yellow ribbon. “It was an explosion...I don’t know how, but it was. So you win the science fair. Now please, leave me for medical.”

The judge faceplanted as they went unconscious. Ness forced a smile and quietly took the ribbon away. 

“Banned from a library,” Ness sighed. “Again.”


At the cafeteria, Melissa emptied out a trashcan. Slowly, she turtled across the cafeteria to the photo shoot. When she lifted the can, someone was already taking pictures. 

“Jasper?” Melissa asked. “You’re already done with the science fair?”

Jasper nodded. “It wasn’t much of an explosion, but it counted. Came straight here.”

Jasper stood as the photographer shooed him away.

“Wait,” Melissa said, “you got all the way here without getting hit?”

Jasper stopped in the middle of the cafeteria. Nobody seemed to notice him, even aiming shots around him.

“Oh right,” Melissa said.


Ignacio approached the football field. A cheerleader outside winked at him. 

“Hey cutie. Back already?”

“I’ve finished two events,” Ignacio said. “Am I right this is the third?”

The cheerleader nodded. “Run through the gate to the left. Put this on too.”

She handed him a red belt with a long red tail on it. 

“A flag?” Ignacio asked. “As in flag football?”

“No spoilers handsome. Now get running!”

Ignacio ran to the gate, hearing the sound of cheering and screaming. 

“Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! Iggy!”

Ignacio burst through a red banner. The stadium was packed with Total Drama fans, likely paying tickets to see the event. They roared as they saw him enter. Cheerleaders continued chanting his name and shaking their pompoms. Even the Howard Taft Mascot was out there, which was someone in a suit of obese Howard Taft trapped in a bathtub. 

In an announcer's booth, Jenny and Toby sat watching the events. 

“Good morning Genesis fans,” Jenny said. “Who’s ready for some...FOOBALL!”

The crowd cheered.

“Whatever,” Toby added. “Ignacio, it’s the Big Game. You need a touchdown to win. The challenge is to catch the tossed football and race all the way to the other end of the field.”

“Without losing your flag,” Jenny added. “Fail and you’ll have to run a lap around the track before you can try again.”

Ignacio gulped but nodded. Taking his position on the field, he waited as the quarterback snapped the ball. Ignacio ran forward, just catching it. He ran down the field as football players zigzagged around him, just about to grab the flag before jumping back cautiously.  

“What’s going-”

As Ignacio ran down the fifty mark line, a landmine went off. As he was stunned, a football player stood over him and yanked the flag off him.

Jenny giggled. “Oops, did I forget to mention the landmines?” 

“Yes!” Ignacio groaned.

“I thought the challenge needed a little more spice,” Jenny said. “We really haven’t met my standards for you guys blowing up. Now, get on your laps! Coach’s orders!”

“Who made you coach?” Toby asked.

“Me, myself, and this whistle I borrowed!” 

She blew it directly into his ear. Ignacio had already headed for the track while the two squabbled. 


Ness ran as fast as she could through the cafeteria, carrying a backpack. She focused on trying not to slip on food, not paying attention to food pelting her.

The photographer shook his head. “The challenge is to take a nice photo, not-”

“I figured.”

Behind the background, she began to strip off her uniform.

“What are you-”

“I saw the food fight and then you here and did the math,” Ness replied. “So I brought a uniform with me.”

Peeking behind the backdrop, in only her underwear, Ness grabbed a new uniform from the bag.


“Okay, so that was a little shameless,” Ness admitted. “So what? Ignacio loses his clothes every episode. Probably will this challenge. I’m not complaining! ”

She turned red. “I just mean with two million dollars on the line, who cares? I’m not even the first. I’m not giving up yet.”


Ness stepped out, looking clean. She sat down, beaming and yelling, “Cheese!”

She blinked as the photo was taken. 


Jasper pushed his way through a green banner onto the football field. The stadium, those who recognized him, gave strong reactions. 

“Go Jax!”

“Jenson, Jenson!”

“Jonsey!”

“Let’s hear it for Jarvis!”

The other cheerleaders all looked at each other confused.

Jasper facepalmed. “Every time this show builds me up, it tears me right back down.”

“It’s Jasper! His name is Jasper!”

He looked to the stand where a group of fans started chanting his name.

“Go Jasper!”

“He’s my winner pick. You got this!”

Jasper smiled a little and started across the field. The ball snapped. Jasper almost fumbled, but caught it and started sprinting. The football players took a moment to notice and by the time they started chasing him, he had too far a lead. 

“YESSSSSS!” he cried out, throwing the ball down onto the field. He waved his green flag and started doing a touchdown dance...poorly, but still. The crowd, even those who didn’t recognize him, roared in cheers. 

“And Jasper has won the Big Game!” Jenny announced. “Who would have thought?”

“The challenge isn’t over yet,” Toby reminded.

Jasper nodded, running off.


Melissa entered the stadium next, tearing through a blue banner. 

“Melissa! Melissa! Melissa!”

Melissa smiled and waved at the cheering crowd. She gulped as the football players got into position. 

“Little Miss Sunshine is up,” Jenny said. “Can she win the Big Game?”

“It might be too dangerous a sport for her,” Toby added.

Melissa gulped as she grabbed the football. She ran, trying to pick up speed but stumbling right before a landmine. 

“Ahhh!”

She fell back against the turf field, still clutching the football. As she tried to get to her feet, footballers came from all sides at her.

“Oh fluff me,” she muttered, closing her eyes.

Hisssssssssssssssssssssssss.

People started screaming.

Melissa opened her eyes. The sky was darkened by a hissing storm, flying out of the school.

“Folks it looks like Howard Taft has tough competition,” Toby said. “Specifically, an army of cockroaches.”

“I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords,” Jenny said.

The football players were swarmed, flown and carried off. People fled the stands, running as fast as they could.

“No way,” Melissa gasped. “Don’t tell me…”

Six plump adult cockroaches landed on the sweetheart’s shoulders, helping her up. 

“My little cockroach babies!” Melissa cried. “Carlton! Camilla! Cornelius! Countess! Cackle! And sweet Jay! It’s really you. Don’t tell me-”

The little cockroach from before landed on one of the adult roaches backs. 

“I’m a grandma!”


“It seems my six babies have grown up and united the various kinds of roaches in all of Washington, D.C.,” Melissa said. “My little babies formed their own families and have been living at this school this whole time. I couldn’t be happier.”

“Also, this school should probably be closed down for severe health violations.”


The cockroaches landed, all bowing their heads before Melissa. She rose to her feet, smirking. She waved her arms as the roaches surrounded her.

She turned to the remaining football players. She raised her hands; the cockroaches lifted their antennas and hissed.

“I am Melissa Day of the Molting Eagles, the First of My Name, Newcomer of Genesis, Khaleesi of the Great Pentagram Hotel, Baker of Sweets and Mother of Roaches. Bend the knee or else face the greatest insect army that D.C. has ever known.”

The football players scattered, a few even bowing down. Melissa marched across the field, her roaches following, till she reached the other side and dropped her football. She raised her arms as the bugs hissed in harmony.

“Heehee,” Melissa giggled, “that was so fun!”


Jasper entered the school. He finally noticed the final flyer.

“Prom’s tonight,” he said. “Pick up your invitation at the main office.”

Soon, he reached the office. The secretary had four letters presented at her desk each in a different colored envelope. She handed Jasper the green invitation.

“Prom will be held in the ballroom of Hotel de Couture,” he read. “Please arrive with a fancy outfit...and a date?”

He sighed. “This might actually be the hardest part of the challenge.”


After Melissa’s siege on the stadium, the challenge was much easier. The football players were shaken and disoriented. The crowd and a few cheerleaders had left and weren’t coming back, removing most of the ceremony from the event. It didn’t take too long for Ignacio to finish the event nor Ness soon after him.

Both former Fireworks reached the office and received the last two letters; red and yellow.

“I knew we were having prom,” Ness exclaimed.

“We have to find a date and dress for the occasion,” Ignacio said.

“Jasper and Melissa have already gotten a huge lead on this,” Ness sighed. “It’s not over...but I don’t know if we can overtake them.”

Ignacio blushed. “There might be a way…”

Ness tilted her head.

“Ness...do you want to go to prom with me?”

The jinx’s eyes grew wide. “...”

“It would take time out having to look for a date,” Ignacio replied. 

“But we’re competing against each other.”

“Yeah, but if we both complete the event together than we both win invincibility. We can make the final three together.”

Ignacio blushed even more, but raised his head to meet Ness’ eyes. He smiled. “Really though, if I’m going to prom, real or not, I’d like to go with you. So...will you go to prom with me Ness?

“I...yes. Yes! Yes!”

Ness glomped Ignacio, pulling him into a hug. The two laughed, Ignacio even picking her up and spinning her around. Ness sighed.

“This is awesome!” Ignacio said, “We just need to get some outfits.”

Ness forced a smile. “I have an idea. The outfits from the wedding challenge. If we go back to the Pentagram, we can wear those and we’ll be right near Hotel de Couture.”

“Great idea, let’s go!”


“I did it!” Ignacio cheered. “I actually asked Ness out! ...Okay, so maybe it was for a challenge and a little unclear, but I’m counting this as a win. I can ask her out on another one at prom...this couldn’t be a better challenge!”


Melissa arrived at the Hotel de Couture. She was wearing a long, flowing and elegant pink gown that simultaneously revealed her midriff. Her hair was elaborated braided like a crown. Her cockroaches followed her. 

She smiled as she entered the lobby. Approaching the prom, a burly bouncer blocked the entrance.

“Pardon sir, I have an invitation,” Melissa stated. 

“Told I can’t let you in here without a date.”

“I’m taking my pet cockroaches as a date.”

“Challenge rules says it has to be a human as a date. Your age.”

Her roaches hissed, causing the bouncer to quiver, but Melissa petted them. “Don’t worry bugaboos, we’ll find a date. Somebody has to be free.”


“Sorry, I’m not free. Already got a date.”

Jasper groaned as another girl turned him down. “Well, do you know anyone who still needs-”

-Nope, pretty much everyone’s found one.”

Jasper nodded, before approaching the next girl who walked down the hall. To similar results.


“I’ve never been to a school dance,” Jasper admitted. “I never had the courage to ask anyone. Who would I want to go with? Well…”

Jasper blushed. “I doubt we could ask eliminated contestants, so it doesn’t matter…”


At the Pentagram, Ignacio stood outside Ness’ dorm room. He was wearing the white tuxedo from the wedding challenge. He knocked on her door, fidgeting with his tie.

“Ness! Are you in there? We need to hurry!”

He waited, but got no answer. 

Shaking his head, he returned to the lobby. 

“Ness! Ness! Ness!”

A low groan echoed.

Ignacio looked over the checkout counter to see Rhonda lying on her back, her head in a bag of cheese puffs like an ostrich buries it in the sand.

She removed the bag, squinting to make out Ignacio, then fell down again. “Could you keep it down? I’m trying to wallow here.”

“I’m just trying to find Ness.”

“Dude, she left forever ago. Like right away.”

Ignacio stared at her. “What?”

“She bolted off, carrying a wedding dress in her arms. Yelled at the taxi to take her to some school…”

“That’s inconceivable,” Ignacio stated. “We’re competing together in the challenge-”

“-Ugh, you’re still doing those? BORINGGGGGGG.”

Ignacio rolled his eyes. He ran out the door, trying to hail a taxi.

The hostess scoffed. She noticed a cheese crumb in her nail, picking it out before eating it. 


Ignacio dashed out of the taxi. He approached a group of girls sitting and talking outside the school.

“Excuse me,” he said, “have you seen Ness from Total Drama Genesis? She’s a short, cute, blonde girl, probably fell and hurt herself.”

“Oh yeah!”

“Great!”

“She just left.”

“What?”

“Looked like she was heading to that weird, unofficial prom the school’s doing.”

“Yeah, with Chad Thunderberg.”

“Chad?” Ignacio asked. “Who the **** is Chad!?”

“You know, big meaty guy. Captain of the lacrosse team. Always wears polos with the collar popped.”

“That...she wouldn’t…”

“He’s like the most popular guy in school.”

“They kind of make a cute couple.”

The girls walked off, bragging about Chad. Ignacio sat on the ground, burying his face into his hands. 


Ness, wearing the wedding dress with a long trail, was escorted by the muscular jock to the ballroom. She flashed her yellow invitation to bouncer. He nodded.

“To win, you gotta do a slow dance with your partner.”

Chad winked at Ness. “I’m happy to take it nice and slow.”

Ness sighed. “Sure, whatever.”


Ness crossed her arms. “The last guy who asked me to prom married my dad. Prom is kind of ruined for me. I just asked about the first guy who’d say yes. No surprise Chad didn’t have a date.”

She shook her head. “Still, at least I didn’t go with Ignacio. I’d be miserable. Sure, I was excited for a moment...then I realized I was just being asked out for pity. Just like last prom. If I went with him, I’d just be wishing it was real and get hurt when we have to return to reality. Sorry...but it’s two million dollars. I’m not trading that for another rejection from you.”


As soon as a slow song played, Ness dragged Chad to the center of the dance floor. He smirked, but stopped when she glared. When the song finished, everyone clapped.

“Congratulations Ness!” the DJ said. “Attention everyone, we’re happy to announce that Ness and her date...are prom queen and king.”

Ness gasped as crowns were placed on her and Chad’s head. Embedded inside were yellow, plastic jewels. All the students cheered. Chad lifted up Ness and the crowd carried and threw her in the air.

“Ness! Ness! Ness!”

She smirked. “So I won the science fair, got a good picture, won the big game, and became prom queen! The perfect day in a high school movie. Wait, that means I won the challenge, right?”

She squealed as her subjects continued to chant her name and congratulate herself.

“Okay,” Ness said, “Maybe I’ll pretend this was my real prom. Thanks everybody!”

“We love you Ness!”

“Aww, stop it!”

“You’re like so the most popular girl now.”

“I mean...yeah, I guess I am.”

“Woo! Party at Ness’ place!”

“Haha, yeah party at my...wait, what?”

The crowd cheered, tossing Ness aside into a trashcan as they stampeded out. 

“Guys?” she asked. “Um, aren’t you forgetting your queen?”

The trash fell over and she faceplanted. 


Eventually, prom continued with a new, smaller crowd of students. Jasper was slow dancing with some black haired girl. Melissa arrived at prom with a young but muscular guy that had several tattoos and dreads. The bouncer nodded, letting them enter.

“Thanks for agreeing to come with me to the prom Drago.”

Her date replied in another language. 

“I mean, I think you agreed? It must be hard being a foreign exchange student.”

As the dance ended, the crowd gave small claps. 

“Congratulations Joel!” the DJ announced. “Attention everyone, we’re happy to announce that Jules and his date have won prom king and queen.”

The crowd shrugged as Jasper and the girl were given crowns. They were filled with green stones. 

“Party at Jeanie’s place!”

The students cheered again, darting out of the ballroom.

“Party?” Jasper asked. “That’s it! The fifth and last event.”

“There’s always a big party that gets out of control in teen movies,” Melissa whispered. “It must be at the Pentagram. Come on Drago, let’s cut a rug!”

She dragged her ‘date’ onto the dance floor as a new, even smaller crowd of students formed around them. 

“I got to get back to the Pentagram,” Jasper said.

“Um, excuse me?”

He turned to face his date.

“I went to prom with you. When do I get my free tickets for your brother’s next concert?

“I’ll mail them to you!” he said, running off.

“Wait, but you don’t even know my-”

“-Bye!”


The biggest party of the summer was going down at the Pentagram. Lights were flashing, loud music was thumping, and teenagers were out of control. 

Ness yelped as two guys in blue shirts tossed a vase back and forth. 

“Be careful with that!” Ness screamed. “Those are the ashes of one the founder's murder victims. Eeeep!”

She ducked as an ax went over her head. It landed against the other wall, taking out a dartboard. 

“Sweet, five points!” 

“Don’t throw that! Those are antiques.”

Ness marched over to the new DJ at the party. She unplugged his speakers and snatched the mike.

“Alright everyone,” Ness said, “it’s been fun, but this party is cancelled.”

The crowd booed her heavily. They started tossing empty cups and cans.

“Don’t be such a party popper,” Chad stated.

“Yeah,” a girl in green added. “I thought you were cool!”

A group of guys in red grabbed Ness, tossing her aside as the DJ started playing music again. The teens cheered.

“So much for being popular,” Ness groaned.  


Ignacio was the last one to reach the dance. Solemnly, he danced with the cheerleader who greeted him at the football field. As they finished slow dancing, the few remaining students clapped.

“Congratulations Ignacio!” the DJ said. “Attention everyone, we’re happy to announce that Ignacio and his date...are the prom king and queen!”

Ignacio took his crown, fake rubies filling the crown.

“Thanks for being my date.”

“No problem,” the cheerleader replied. “You're a fun pretend prom date. Now if you excuse me, I heard there’s a party at your place.”

“Party?”

“Party at Ignacio’s!”

The students cheered and started leaving.

“The final challenge,” Ignacio said. “...Alright, I haven’t lost yet! Thanks again.”

The cheerleader laughed. “No problem. My girlfriend is rooting for you, so go win this thing!”


Ignacio could hear the party before he saw the hotel. When he did, he shook his head. The Pentagram was covered in teepee. A TV screen fell out of a third story window, impaling on one of the fence’s spikes. A fight broke out between two guys in yellow at the front door. 

“It wouldn’t be a high school movie without a wild party,” Ignacio said. 

He entered the hotel. Melissa’s cockroaches were trying to move a few people, but became easily distracted by crumbs on the floor. 

“Go on, get out of here! Get!”

Jasper was trying to shoo-out guys in blue with a broom. Even when he hit them with the broom, they didn’t react. 

“Please, everyone, I’d like to politely ask you to leave one more time.”

Melissa, threw open a closet door, only to find Chad and Drago making out.

She pouted and slammed the door. She gasped as a crash come from the kitchen.

“Hey, those cupcakes are for the needy, not the greedy!”

“Just leave already!”

Ness tried to push a big guy in green, but he didn’t budge. She looked up. She gave a small smile at Ignacio.

Ignacio scowled at her. He turned away, walking the opposite direction inside. He studied everyone in the hotel, crowds of people that were dressed rather similarly…

“Wait a minute…”

He smirked. 


In Rhonda’s office, the file cabinet fell over as the music shook. 

Jenny and Toby shared a look. They stared down as Rhonda watched old videos on her laptop, chugging another Dr. Cola two liter. 

“Aren’t you concerned about the hotel Rhonda?”

She belched. “Psssh, It’s not mine. Let the...let the kids live a little, a little, a little life, yeah, that’s what I say. Give ‘em somethin’ fond to ‘member. Before their dreams ARE CRUSHED!” 

She cried out before falling on the floor. 

“I thought throwing a crazy party would force Rhonda to act,” Jenny groaned. “Your plan sucks!”

“This was your plan,” Toby replied. 

“And it was great plan!”

She stomped over to Rhonda. Picking her up by shoulders, she stared in Rhonda’s eyes. “Look at me-”

She repeatedly slapped her across the face. “Get. Ahold. Of. It!”

Rhonda replied by spitting in her face. 

“Ewwwwwww!” she squealed. “Rhonda stop it already! This is pathetic, even for you. Now get it together and start hosting this show!”

“Why bother?” Rhonda asked. “We did everything we could, and we still aren’t getting another season. We’re cancelled. There’s point in doing the show anymore.”

“Is there no point?” Toby asked.

“I can’t believe it,” Jenny said, “but I actually agree with Toby. Yeah, we’ve done a lot. Yet, the network can’t even give us the courtesy of aheads up before tossing us aside like a used tissue.”

“Now I feel better, thanks Jenny!”

The redhead sighed. “All that said, does that mean you wouldn’t do it again?”

“Of course I wouldn’t!” Rhonda replied.

“I don’t believe you,” Jenny said. “For reasons I’ve never understood, you believe in this show. You believe that people want Total Drama. You want to bring it to them. The original aired years ago and you’re still thinking probably thinking of some random fact about it.”

“So what if I’m thinking about what happened to the peanuts they gave away in season 3,” Rhonda replied. “It’s weird they stopped giving them out! Doesn’t change Genesis was a failure.”

Toby shook his head. “It will be a failure, if you don’t see this to the end. That’s the point; not another season, but this season. Giving it a conclusion.”

“Only four people are probably watching anyway.”

“Maybe. You okay disappointing those four fans?”

Rhonda shifted uncomfortably. 

“The Rhonda I know would tell you to finish Genesis,” Jenny said, “She’d say something corny like, ‘This show should end on a high-note, go out with a bang, not a whimper’.”

Toby nodded. “Or she’d say, ‘We’re the captains, so we’re going down the ship. Let’s have the band play till it’s sunk’.”

“So we don’t get a second season,” Jenny said. “We got one. Deep down I know this isn’t how you want your season to end. And...and...ugh...and as your friend I hate seeing you like this!”

Rhonda held her gaze at the two. “Really?”

Jenny looked away. “It’s just...you’ve wanted this for so long. I want you to be happy with it. I know you’ll hate yourself even more in the future if you gave up now.”

Rhonda tossed off her blanket and jumped to her feet. “You guys are right!”

“I’m always right,” Jenny replied. 

“I can’t let Genesis end like this,” Rhonda said. “I owe it to the fans, to the newcomers, to myself to give the best conclusion I can make it!” 

She pulled the two into a hug. “Thanks for everything.”

The sound of something shattering was heard outside.

“How about we start by calling off this party?”


Ness sat in the corner, hiding her face in her knees. She looked up to watch Ignacio whisper to someone in red. The guy nodded and walked out. Ignacio then came over to a girl in yellow and handed her a drink. 

Jasper was trapped on the dance floor, shoved between teens in a makeshift mosh pit. Melissa was tending to her roaches, who were passed out in a pizza box.

Suddenly, the music cut off. Jenny and Toby stood at the speakers, tossing aside the DJ.

Before the teens could react, an air horn went off over the P.A.

“Attention students of Howard Taft Academy,” Rhonda announced. “Thanks for your help on the show today. It was appreciated. Now get the heck out of my hotel! If you don’t, you won’t appear on TV.”

The teens whined, but Rhonda played the air horn again.

“You got ten minutes before I call the police, and you end up on COPS instead!”

The teens groaned but started leaving in mass. When the last stragglers left, Rhonda exited her office. 

“Alright newcomers,” Rhonda said, “get ready. The head ***** is back!”

Jenny, Toby and even the newcomers cheered.

“Thank goodness for Ms. Rhonda,” Melissa sighed. 

“I thought they’d never leave,” Ness said. “No wonder everyone hates teens.”

“Only the adults can break up the party in a teen movie,” Ignacio said. “Even if Rhonda questionably counts as an adult.”

“I can’t wait till high school is over,” Jasper said.

“School maybe out, but Genesis is still in session,” Rhonda said. “And thanks to our footage we know our winner for today’s challenge. With a guaranteed spot in the final 3...it’s Ignacio!”

The model smiled.

Melissa’s whole face dropped. “What? But how?”

“He cleared the most of his party-goers,” Rhonda replied.

“His?” Jasper asked.

“We each had a separate group,” Ignacio said. “I noticed that everyone at the party was wearing four colors; red, blue, yellow and green. Those same colors had been associated with us throughout the challenge.”

“Oh,” Ness said, “you mean like the ribbons or the football flags.”

“Or the invitations or crowns for prom,” Jasper recalled. “So you focused on getting everyone in red out of here.”

“How do you convince them to leave?” Melissa asked.

The model smirked. “I told them that the cops were called, but Chad Thunderberg was moving the party to his house. I said everyone was leaving for it soon. They thought if everyone was doing it, they should leave too.”

“Congrats Ignacio,” Rhonda said. “You have invincibility, the penthouse suite and as a reward…”

She tossed him something. 

“A book of school coupons. Good for all of Washington, D.C...for the next three days.”

Ignacio rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

“We’ll have an elimination ceremony as soon as this place gets cleaned up,” Rhonda said. “You have till then to decide a loser.”

She walked off as her co-hosts eagerly followed. Jasper winked at Melissa, who looked like she was going to faint. Ness tried to make contact with Ignacio, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes. 


Soon, Melissa was waving her cockroaches off as they flew away into the sky.

“Thanks for all your help today sweeties!” she said. “It was wonderful to meet your families. Jay, tell your mate he’s a doll. I’ll see you all again soon; I do live here now. Maybe Aiden and I can make a family dinner…”

She sighed as they disappeared into the sky. She turned around to see Jasper standing there.

“Oh, hello Jasper…”

“Hey,” he replied. “I wanted to talk about the vote tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“I think something happened between Ness and Ignacio,” Jasper said. “He might vote for her. Which works out. I mean, it’s us in the final three.”

Melissa bit her lip. 

Jasper frowned. “Don’t tell me. Melissa, you promised-”

“I know! I know, I’m the worst for going back on a promise...but I can’t vote Ness. I promised her a final two.”

The sweetheart slumped. “And, she’s my friend. She’s been there for me during the merge. I’m not betraying her.”

“You said I should save you,” Jasper said. “Said if I did, you’d take me to the final 3. Is that a lie now?”

“It is,” Melissa sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Jasper rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, you could still keep your promise if...you know...”

“I’m not voting for myself. I feel awful, but I’d feel worse if I quit.”

Jasper shrugged. “It’s fine. I expected this to happen if Ignacio won invincibility. I appreciate you trying anyway.”

Melissa and Jasper nodded, before departing. 


“I genuinely considered voting for myself,” Melissa admitted. “I was leaning towards it for a moment. It reminded me of the first challenge, when the Eagles and I lost. I thought I should quit to save our team members. I wasn’t sure I deserved to be here. Cynthia encouraged me not to...”

Melissa sat quietly for a moment. “...it’s the same now. I tried so hard to get this far! I owe it to everyone to keep going. Especially myself. Maybe I had to break a promise, but everything I did till now won’t be worth it if I rolled over and died. I’m not giving up.”


The final four gathered at the Haunted Internet Cafe. It seemed almost bare by now. Rhonda, now looking put together, smiled and walked out.

“Welcome final four,” she greeted. “My apologies things have been off, but we’re back on track. Which means, it’s finally time to answer the question. Who’s in the final 3?”

Rhonda tossed Ignacio a cup. “We know that includes you Ignacio. Congratulations.”

Ignacio nods, smiling and raising his cup in a cheer. 

The hostess turned her gaze to the other three. “You three have played a good game. It’s tough to see you go, but you all have reasons to be eliminated…”

Rhonda lifted the cup. Jasper’s eyes followed it instinctively, never taking them off it. Melissa held her head high, meeting Rhonda’s gaze and trying not to falter. Ness hadn’t looked up from the ground since Ignacio got his cup. 

“The second-to-last cup to the second-to-last challenge goes to someone who got no votes, a free ride…”










Rhonda whistled, catching Ness’ attention as she threw the cup. Ness barely caught it. Gasping, she looked to Ignacio. He turned his back to her.

Melissa turned to Jasper. “So you voted for me. That’s fair.”

“Honestly...“ Jasper said. “...I might’ve voted for you regardless if Ignacio won.”

Melissa frowned, but ended up giggling. “So since I made the deal, you were planning to vote me off?”

“Kinda,” Jasper admitted. “Maybe I’d change my mind. Maybe I would’ve needed to vote with you instead. Still, going against you in the finals? That’s insane!”

“You won’t have to worry about that,” Rhonda interrupted. “One of you will be going home instead. Sorry…”

The two nodded at each other, before staring at the podium. 
















“...but it’s still to be decided. We have a tie.”

The two shared a look.


Ness cast her vote for Jasper. “I am actually worried about facing Melissa in the final 3. Still, she’s been my friend for a long time. Plus, I need to actually make it to the finals. I think she’s the only person who will take me now. Thanks Melissa.”


“Ness...she hurt me today,” Ignacio admitted in the voting booth. “But I can’t make this personal. I think she’ll be easier to beat in the endgame. Which leaves two. Jasper is a challenge beast, but Melissa is no slouch. She’d sweep support at the finals.

“What it really comes down to though isn’t who I’m against in the finals, but if I’m in the finals. I don’t know if Jasper would take me...but I know Melissa wouldn’t.”

Ignacio cast his vote for Melissa.


“It’s a two-two split,” Rhonda stated.

“So what’s the tiebreaker?” Ignacio asked. “A random draw?”

“A challenge?” Jasper asked.

“The losers decide?” Melissa asked. 

“It’s not a revote, is it?” Ness asked. 

Rhonda shook her head. “The tiebreaker is different, but simple; Hosts’ Choice.”

The four newcomers all immediately raised their eyebrows.

“Jenny, Toby and I will each vote which of the bottom two we think should be eliminated,” Rhonda said. 

“You three?” Melissa said.

“As the masters of ceremonies it’s our duty to keep things running,” Rhonda said. 

“How is this fair?” Jasper asked. 

“Maybe you think it isn’t,” Rhonda said. “But it was planned as a tiebreaker from the show’s start. You four had your chance to pick who goes home. You failed to reach a decision. Now it’s our turn.”

Jenny and Toby strolled over; Jenny smirked right at the bottom two.

Rhonda turned to her co-hosts. “Toby, you first.”

Toby shrugged. “Jasper.”

“Care to say why?”

“He got a free ride to the merge,” Toby said. “Melissa didn’t. I think her game is more impressive.”

“Well I vote Melissa,” Jenny said. “His game is way more impressive, coming in with no allies. Plus, she’s annoying.”

Everyone turned to Rhonda. 

“The tiebreaker to the tiebreaker,” she mumbled. 

She stared at the two for a moment. Finally, she nodded. “Alright then, the final coffee cup goes to…”





























“...Jasper. I’m sorry Melissa, I’m voting for you.”

Jasper stood up, trying to catch his breath. He swiped the coffee cup, almost afraid it wouldn't be his.

Melissa nodded. After a moment she stood and faced the final three.

She was smiling. She immediately pulled them into a group hug. “Congrats! You guys are an amazing final three!”

“You’re...not upset?” Ignacio asked.

“Oh dear no,” Melissa said. “I had an amazing time! I mean, besides the challenges being psychically demanding and torturous, being emotionally drained from making new friends that had to leave and carrying the guilt of all my decisions. That was a little hard.”

She shrugged. “Still, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” 

“You were a really strong player,” Jasper admitted. 

Ness nodded. “You killed the challenges!”

“And you deserve more credit for your strategy,” Ignacio said.

“Aww, stop it you guys,” Melissa said. “I’m fine.”

“Iggy’s right though,” Ness said. “You kind of masterminded eliminations at the merge.”

Melissa smirked. “I guess I did...maybe I’m better at the game than I thought.”

“You made the final four,” Jasper said. “That’s proof enough.”

Melissa giggled and shook her head. “Really, I don’t care about that. I’m just glad that despite everything, it was fun! So I didn’t win? I had a once in a lifetime experience! And I got to share it with some new friends. I couldn’t be more grateful.”

She gave the final three each a final hug. “I’m rooting for all of you! You can do this!”

Ness sniffled. “I’m glad you were here with me Melissa. You were a friend when I needed it.”

“Right back at ya,” Melissa sighed. “We’re going to hang out when Genesis is over. I promise.”

She smiled and nodded at the hosts, grabbed her bags, and skipped towards the exit. “Ooh, and I was chilling pudding in the fridge. Enjoy it before it gets stale, okay?”

She winked once, before disappearing through the revolving doors.

“Oh crap,” Rhonda said. “We’re going to have to cook for you guys again, aren’t we?”


Soon, everyone dispersed to their corners. Rhonda sighed to herself, doing what she loved again. She opened her eyes to see someone was still hanging around. 

“Need something Jasper?”

The boy rubbed the back of his head. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“Why...why did you vote out Melissa?”

“If anyone else asks,” Rhonda said, “I’d say it was because you won more challenges. I thought it’d make the last challenge more intense.”

Jasper nodded. 

“But…”

“But what?”

“When you were first eliminated, I felt bad. We cast you by accident. We didn’t think anything of you, so you never got focus. When you returned, it was so your brother could be your loved one. We never gave you a real chance. My vote to keep you was that chance.”

Jasper smiled. “Thank you...really.”

Rhonda nodded before leaving. 

Jasper sat alone, sipping his coffee silently in the cafe, deep in thought.

Chapter 27 The Test Of The Best []

The final three sat at the dining table, eating breakfast silently. By now, only three chairs remained at the table. Breakfast that morning was eggs and slightly burnt toast.

Ness sighed. “This is only reminding me of how much I miss Melissa.”

The two boys nodded.

Ness and Ignacio made eye contact. Ignacio frowned and both turned their heads.


“Ness stood up Ignacio and almost cost him the challenge,” Jasper said. “Apparently that’s why they’re fighting. It was kind of underhanded, but I don’t know if it’s worth this grudge. I kind of feel bad because...this might actually help me get into the finals.”


The three continued to eat in silence.

“Congratulations Ignacio, Jasper and Ness!” Rhonda said over the P.A. “You are the final three! You’ve made it this far and you’re almost there!”

The three couldn’t help but smile a little bit to themselves.

“You have thirty minutes to get ready before today’s challenge. Obviously, it’s a big one. It’s going to push you like no challenge has ever pushed you. So get ready.”


“I believe there’s an almost 14% chance of being in the final three,” Ignacio said. “I actually made that! I’m here, three days away from winning this show. I joined simply because my modeling agency said they wanted me. I thought I should take the chance. Even with...recent events...I’m glad I did.”


“Eeeeeeee!” Ness squealed. “I’m actually in the final three! Me! When I saw the Fizzled Fireworks I thought “I’m the first boot”. Now I’m at the semi-finals! I do feel lucky I'm here, but I also know it wasn’t just luck. Mostly because it’s me.”


“The final 3,” Jasper said. He paused for a moment, reflecting. “I went from the third boot to the final three. Didn’t see that coming, did you? I didn’t. I’m a little upset I missed out on so much of the competition, but I did so much that I’ve had a great time.”


“It’s odd how attached you can feel to places,” Ignacio stated. “The Pentagram is a sinister, tacky, eerie, ill-conceived, labyrinthine death trap...and yet I’m going to miss it. I know that’s more the people and the experiences, but still.”


“I sometimes think this hotel is alive and hates me,” Ness said. “But, it feels more like home than home. Sometimes I wish I saw more of D.C., but there was so much going on in the hotel. I don’t want to leave it.”

She patted the seat, only for the cushion to fall out from under her, sending her to the floor.


“With how famous my brother and a few of my cousins are, I have stayed in a couple of hotels,” Jasper said. “When they remember to book me a room. None of them are like the Pentagram. That’s kind of why it’s awesome! I stayed in a famous, haunted hotel! Not everyone will.”


“I’m bias but my favorite challenge had to be the fantasy VR,” Ignacio said. “I really need to play more video games because that was fun! The strategical elements combined with the worldbuilding was addicting...if filled with holes. Nothing was more satisfying than beating that final boss. It’s silly, but I hope my fellow orcs are okay. If you buy the game remember to help them.”


“I don’t know if I have a favorite challenge,” Ness said. “The Animal Buddies was awesome because we got to meet all those amazing animals! The Zoobreak part was less fun. The crossover with Tides was so cool; I hope Andre is in the final 3 on his season. It was kick-butt to do classic challenges like the Wheel of Misfortune and especially the Awake-A-Thon. To not only compete, but win it? If my younger self could see me now…”


“Am I egocentric if my favorite challenge was one I won?” Jasper asked. “I mean the wedding challenge is from a classic season. It was so satisfying to solve all those mysteries...and spend all that time with Lita."

He blushed. “To win the first merge challenge, the same as the first ever Total Drama merge challenge? My inner fanboy died. Only thing better would be winning a challenge by defeating my older brother...oh wait, I did!”


“The people have been the best part,” Ignacio said. “I made friends with people who like me for me and don't judge me. I have actual bros now! Griswold, Riley, Easton, Lita...I can’t wait to hang out with everyone again. Even Kalino. For all that he did, I’m still glad we were friends.” 


“I made life-time BFFFLs on this show,” Ness said. “Seriously, my roomies were the best. They were there for me when I needed it. Melissa too! I wish all four of us could have had a big sleepover. Then there’s Griswold, Riley, and Easton. I was so lucky we were all a team. Ooh, and Mandy! I miss her too. I miss most people. Even if I wasn’t close, it was still fun they were here."

Ness sighed and looked down. “I know everyone says we won’t lose contact...I want to believe that, but people grow apart. I’m preparing for it. At least I’ll have memories to hold onto.”


“I know I don’t stand out,” Jasper said. “I certainly didn’t with how colorful everyone here was. Wish I could be like that. I’m lucky I made a few friends. Tessa, kind of Vance and Diamonique, the other guys...and Lita. I’ll never forget what she did for me.”


“I never did figure out Rhonda’s deal,” Ignacio admitted. “I guess there is no greater secret to how she got this job, knows all those people or why we’ve never heard about her. She had connections. That’s what you need in show business. Still, she and her minions are off. Even for me, and I know I’m an odd fellow.”


“Rhonda may be the one person as unlucky as me,” Ness said. “No one deserves that...but she isn’t always pleasant. Sometimes she was nice! Usually with an ulterior motives, but still. I can admire how she hosted and kept this show running. That’s not easy. As a fan you don’t want a nice and sweet host, you want one who’s dramatic. So I think in that sense...yeah, great host. Good host. Okay host.”


“Rhonda?” Jasper asked. “I know she and her co-hosts didn’t mean to cast me...but they brought me back. She’s the reason I’m here and not Melissa. I owe her a lot for that. So yeah, I like her. ...I don’t think I’d hang out with her, though.”


“Jenny and Toby are more peculiar than Rhonda,” Ignacio said. “That’s what I should’ve been wondering. Who are they? Where are they from? Why are they always together? Is Toby actually Jenny’s sidekick? Maybe if they were less annoying I would’ve been curious to ask…”


“I’m worried she’ll see this,” Ness said. “Then again, she avoids work like the plague. Let’s just say I’m not a big Jenny fan. Toby’s okay. Kind of mysterious and all his gadgets are cool. If he were nicer he’d be sorta cute. ...Were Toby and Jenny a thing? Are they related? ...Both?”


“Jenny voted to keep me too, so the same thing,” Jasper said. “Although, she wasn’t nice about. She’s not nice about most things. She’s outright mean and sadistic. My ears don’t like her. I wouldn’t be surprised if Toby’s partially deaf. Actually, what’s their deal? How did those two and Rhonda meet anyhow?”


Ignacio sighed. “I wish I could be happy I’m in the final three with Ness. I keep working up the courage to ask her why she lied to me...but I think she’s avoiding me now. Regardless, she’s incredible. Jasper is a lot cooler than you’d realize. Both are tough competitors...I don’t know how anyone is betting on a winner.”


“Jasper has won four challenges,” Ness said. “I think that’s close to, if not the most challenges anyone has won in a season of Total Drama! I’m scared of going against him. But as a fellow fan I respect it. I also know Lita’s really fond of him, tee-hee. Ignacio...he’s the smartest and sweetest guy I’ve ever met. I don’t know if he’ll talk to me after the show. I don’t blame him if he doesn't.”


“Ignacio is a genius,” Jasper said. “Not to be petty, but it’s unfair to be that attractive, physically fit and intelligent. Leave something for the rest of us.”

He laughed, but it sounded forced. “Ness, you wonder if she was cursed as a baby. What’s worse, being invisible or being known for being unlucky? Thing is, she’s a lot smarter and stronger than you realize. People really like her too. I’m worried about going against both of them…”


“What will I be remembered for?” Ignacio asked.

A montage of all the times Ignacio lost his clothes played; taking off his shirt at the first challenge, the sandbag hook ripping off his clothes, melting the snow by stripping, the speedo bursting during the fashion show, his caveman costume riding up, and more…

Ignacio turned crimson. “Probably my...mishaps. Hopefully a few people remember me for my intelligence and other efforts.”


“What will I be remembered for?” Ness asked.

A montage of all the times Ness was jinxed played; tripping on the penny as scarbs attacked during the first challenge, an escaped gorilla kidnapping her, having an allergic reaction so she was forced to wear a cone, getting hit with a stage light and then set on fire, a ladybug bathing in a pool of her blood next to her unconscious body, and more…

Ness rubbed the back of the head. “What else? Not that it matters. I knew if I joined this show my bad luck would be all over the cameras. I’d do again in a heartbeat.”


“What will I be remembered for?” Jasper asked.

...

Jasper sighed. “No one will remember me for anything. After last challenge I realized something. I don’t want to be nobody. This is my chance. If I win this show, I’m somebody. I’m not just some guy; I’m the winner of Total Drama Genesis. So I have to win.”


The final three stood in the lobby. Rhonda smiled at them, somewhat generously yet somewhat sadistically. 

“Welcome to the semi-finale challenge newcomers! If you remember, our first challenge was a test to see how you’d handle the elements of Total Drama. Since then you’ve been through a lot. You’re almost at the end, but we want you to prove you should be here. Today’s challenge is your final test.”

The final three all gulped in sync. They shared a look, before glaring determined at each other.

“This challenge is overcoming your greatest weakness.”

The three immediately dropped their composure. 

“You three will compete in a challenge designed to test if you’ve really grown,” Rhonda continued. “Each part of this three part challenge is a different test for a different newcomer. Whoever wins the most events wins invincibility, a guaranteed spot in the final two, the last stay in our penthouse suite and...a very big reward. You want it, trust me.”

The three nodded slowly. 

“Now then, to the theater!”


The newcomers and hosts entered through the backstage, where the still smoldered curtain was down.

“Through a random draw we’ve selected the order of challenges,” Rhonda said. “First up is...Ignacio!”

The model’s eyes grew wide, but he puffed out his chest. “No problem.”

“Great,” Rhonda replied. “Then...let’s get started!”

The curtain rose and the lights flashed, revealing a packed audience. Rhonda ducked behind a podium, standing up in her lime green suit from the ‘Dump The Chumps’ challenge. On stage appeared to be three paths, like hop-scotch boards. At the theater’s main entrance, past the audience, was a finish line. Around the finish line, fans were restrained by red velvet rope. 

“Of course there’s an audience,” Ignacio groaned under his breath.

“Ignacio,” Rhonda said. “Your challenge is about, being comfortable in your own skin. To that end, we’ll be playing...strip trivia!”

The audience went wild. Ness and Jasper actually blushed, but nowhere near as bright a shade as Ignacio. 

“It’s simple,” Rhonda explained. “I’ll ask a question, first to raise their hand can answer. You get it right, you’ll move forward a square.”

She motioned to pathway on the stage. 

“For each square, you have to remove an article of clothing. Get it wrong and you move backwards, getting dressed again. At the final square, you only have to answer one last question. Then you'll race through the crowd to the finish line...no covering up either.”

This got a loud cheer from someone in the audience.

“Think you can handle it Ignacio?”

Ignacio nodded, but he was wringing his hands.

“What are the questions?” Jasper asked.

“All different subjects, from history to geography to even popular culture, randomly ordered. Now, let's get started.”

The newcomers each took a row. Rhonda shuffled cue cards behind her podium. 

“First question, who was our 21st president?”

The three stood silently. Ignacio scratched his beard before raising his hand.

“Chester Arthur?”

“Correct!”

The square in front of Ignacio lit up, reading ‘shoes’. He kicked off his shoes, getting a thumbs-up from Rhonda.

“Next question. What part of the cell stores proteins?”

Ignacio’s hand shot up. “The ribsomes!”

“Correct again!”

Ignacio beamed, stepping forward and removing his socks. “Piece of cake.”

“What number of days do most months have?”

Jasper raised his hand right before Ignacio. “Thirty...one?”

“Correct.”

Jasper fist pumped. He took off his shoes as he advanced. 

“What is neutral on the PH scale?”

Igancio’s hand was waving before the question was finished. “7.”

“Correct! Iggy is almost halfway there.”

The model smiled. He quickly stopped as he removed his shirt and the audience sighed and wolf whistled.

“Ooh, another science question! What did Issac Newton discover?”

Ignacio started to raise his arm, but hesitated when he saw the audience watching him. Ness rose her hand instead.

“It was gravity, right?”

“Correct! Now everybody’s on the board.”

Ness beamed, removing her shoes and stepping forward.


“I should be excelling at this quiz,” Ignacio said. “I know all the answers. Instead I choked. I tried to get in my model persona, ignore the audience...but I couldn’t do that and focus on the questions. The audience was right there too. Judging me.”


“Where was John Lennon from?”

“Liverpool,” Jasper answered.

“Who painted the Sistine Chapel?”

“Michalangleo,” Ness said. "Not the turtle."

Ignacio rubbed the back of his neck as his competitors were right behind him.

“Hydrogen is the first element of the periodic table,” Rhonda said. “What is the second?”

Ignacio shot up his hand. “dioxide...I mean helium!”

Rhonda shook her head. “Have to go with that first answer. Come on Ignacio, dioxide means two oxygen atoms. Go back.”

Ignacio hung his head in shame as he stepped back, putting on his shirt. The audience groaned as well. Ness patted his shoulder.

“Who in Greek mythology is the queen of the underworld?”

Jasper was the first to raise his hand. “Persephone.”

“Correct. Jasper has taken the lead!”

Jasper smirked. He removed his shirt, blushing as some of the audience cheered. 


“I can’t believe people wanted to see me shirtless,” Jasper said. “I should be more uncomfortable than flattered, but I’ll take it.”


“What was One Rejection’s first hit?”

Only Ness raised her hand. 

“I Wish You Knew You Were Cute!”

“Surprising no one, that’s correct,” Rhonda said.

Ness stepped forward, blushing she removed her shirt, revealing a bra with polka dots. Ignacio turned his head. 


“I was choking,” Ignacio admitted. “Even Jasper and Ness were doing it. Then...I closed my eyes. I thought about everything I did with Kalino, everything I’ve learned...and what it would mean if I went out like this.”


Ignacio closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Who is famous for making the ‘pea plant experiment’?”

Ignacio opened his eyes. His hand shot up.  

“Greg Mendel.”

“Correct! We’ve got a three way tie people!”

Ignacio threw off his shirt as the audience cheered again. He looked straight past them, right at the finish line.

“What treaty ended War World 1?”

Ignacio raised his hand. “Treaty of Versailles.” 

“Correct again!”

The crowd roared even louder as Ignacio stripped to his underwear.

“Who does Darth Maul kill in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace?”  

Everyone thought for a moment. The name was on the tip of their tongue, but Jasper was the first to raise his hand. “Qui-Gon Jinn?”

“That’s correct!”

Jasper blushed a little as he took off his pants and the audience cheered again. He and Ignacio met eyes...before realizing how weird it was and looking away.

“It’s a sexy showdown between Jasper and Ignacio. Let’s get to it! How many years did the Hundred Year War last?”

Ignacio's hand was up in seconds. “116 years!”

“That is...correct!”

“What a misleading name,” Jasper pouted. 

The crowd cheered again. Ignacio hesitated, before pulling down his underwear. He took another deep breath.

Rhonda cleared her throat. “This could be the make it or break it questions folks.”

She pulled out the next card. “A man has a dream where he is a butterfly and forgets he was himself. When he wakes up, physically he is himself. Was the man dreaming he was a butterfly or was the butterfly now dreaming he is the man?”

The three newcomers stared at Rhonda for an entire minute. 

“...Really?” Rhonda asked. “Seems easy, but okay. We’ll move on to the next question. What was the symbol of safety in the original version of Total Drama’s first season, Total Drama Island?”

Before the question had even finished, all three hands were up in the air.

“We need a slow-motion recap of that.”

Toby wheeled out a TV. As he replayed the clip, one hand went up slightly faster. 

“Ignacio?”

“Marshmallows,” the model replied.

“That is...correct!”

The crowd thundered with cheers. Ignacio held his head up as he jumped off the stage and ran. Ignoring the occasional fainting person, Ignacio crossed the finish line. The audience threw up their hands and squealed louder than a slaughterhouse. 

“Yes!” Ignacio cheered, jumping in place. “I did it!”

Ness stared intensely, before burying her face in her hands. Jasper rubbed the back of his neck.


“Maybe we shouldn’t have marathoned the original show,” Jasper said.


“Ignacio passes his test,” Rhonda said. “So let’s move on to our next. You ready, Ness?”

Ness gulped. “What even is my greatest weakness? I have so many to pick from…”

“Maybe it’s about keeping promises,” Ignacio muttered.

Rhonda smirked. "You feeling lucky?"


The final three arrived at the Pentagram’s grand casino. Rhonda seated them at a table with six chairs. 

Jenny popped up, dressed like a casino worker. She shuffled a deck of cards in her hand...rather poorly.

Toby popped up next to her, wearing the same outfit, and snatched the cards. She glared, but started placing rows of black and red poker chips at each seat. 

“Poker?” Ness asked. “Oh no, you mean…”

“Yup,” Rhonda said. Ness, your challenge is about making your own luck. Your bad voodoo has hurt you, and wrecked this hotel, but can you conquer it? There’s only one way to test luck, gambling!”

Toby started to deal cards.  

“Wait a minute,” Ignacio said, “There are more spots than us. Who else is playing?”

“Only the best poker players.”

She whistled; three dogs trotted over. There was a black poodle whose fur made it appear he had a man bun and beard, a small Yorkshire terrier that tripped over her dirty blonde hair, and a mutt who...was um there. He had brown fur or something.

Each dog jumped up into a chair, panting and wagging their tail.

“Really?” Jasper asked. 

“I’ll have you know,” Rhonda said, “that these three pups are co-stars of our good friend and previous celebrity guest judge Pal!”

“The dog who features in movies about sports?” Ignacio asked.

“Don’t these dogs look familiar?” Jasper asked. 

“You probably recognize them for their movie ‘A Dog Plays Poker’,” Rhonda said.

“Not what I meant,” Jasper replied.

“Aww!” Ness said. “They’re so cute!”

She held out her hand to pet the poodle, who bit into it instead.

“Oww! You’re still cute, but owwwwww!”

Ignacio ran up and flicked his nose. The mutt released Ness. He and the other dogs growled at her. 


“I get the feeling Rhonda invited poker playing dogs just because animals tend to hate Ness,” Ignacio said. “As if the challenge wasn’t hard enough for her...not that I care.”


“We’re play a few rounds of poker,” Rhonda said. “Whoever has the most poker chips wins this round. To keep it simple, we’re playing our own variation of five draw poker.”

Each player picked up their hand of five cards. 

“Here's the rules. One player will start by making a bet. Bets can be up to a thousand dollars in chips, so no one tries to bet everything too soon. Each player will then meet the bet or raise it. After all bets are made, everyone has to match the highest amount.

“After betting, you can discard up to three cards and be dealt replacements. Then there’s another round of betting. That round, you can fold. You’ll lose what you bet, but don’t have to bet anymore. After that, everyone will reveal their hand. Whoever has the highest hand wins all the bets aka ‘the pot’.”

“What’s a good hand in poker?” Ness asked.

“Essentially, the right combo of cards,” Rhonda said. “Some combos are worth more than others. There's a cheat sheet to remind you.”

Toby passed everyone a sheet. The dogs knocked the sheets aside, turning up their noses.

“What happens if you don’t have chips to match a bet?” Jasper asked.

“Then you’re all in, meaning you bet everything you have left,” Rhonda said. “But if you lose, you can’t play anymore rounds. Anymore questions?”

Everyone shook their heads.

“Great. Since Jasper is left of the dealer, he’ll make the first bet this round.” 

Jasper shrugged and put out a single red chip. The mutt raised it by placing a stack of red chips. The newcomers raised their eyebrows.


After everyone matched the bet, they tossed out cards. Ness looked at her hand; she tossed out two cards and was dealt two more. She frowned; a one of clubs and a two of spades.

“I fold,” Ness sighed, throwing down her hand.

At the end of the first round, the poodle won all the chips. 

The following rounds weren't better. Ness folded again and again. The one time she did reveal her cards, a flush, Jasper played a full house. 

Ness slouched, tossing up her cards.


“I was trying to fold often,” Ness admitted. “I figured I couldn’t win. If I folded I’d at least have some chips left...Then I noticed something.”


Toby dealt a new hand. Ness looked at her cards; an ace of diamonds, a club of eights, a two of spades, a heart of threes, and a queen of hearts. As she looked up from her cards, she noticed the poodle lowering its ears. It raised the bet another stack of chips.

After everyone matched the bet, Ness discarded the eight and the two. She received an ace of hearts and club of threes. 

“I fold,” Jasper sighed. The Yorkie followed suit. 

“...I raise.”

Ness pushed forward a few black chips, raising the bet to what would be five hundred dollars. Ignacio scratched his beard. Studying his hand, he folded. The poodle growled at her, raising the bet to six hundred. 

Ness pushed forward more black chips; the bet was seven hundred.

The mutt folded. 

The poodle stared her down, but Ness met its gaze.

“Reveal,” Toby said.

The poodle revealed its cards; only a pair of fours. Ness smirked, revealing her two pairs.

All the dogs started growling as Ness collected her winnings. 


“Then I remembered,” Ness said. “This challenge is making your own luck. I can’t control my cards, but neither can anyone else! So I can’t rely on luck? No different than any other challenge. To make my own luck, I’m going to have to outsmart my opponents. I have to read them! And what’s easier to read than a dog?”


In the next round, Ness watched as the mutt twitched his nose for a moment. She looked at her own cards and sighed a lot.

The mutt raised the bet.

Ness looked at her own pile and shrugged, pushing forward more chips. She tossed away a card, but shook her head.

The Yorkie noticed, raising the bet another hundred dollars. 

During the reveal, Ness revealed a flush. Everyone groaned as she giggled and took the pot. 


In the next round, Ness smirked as she studied her hand.

Jasper raised an eyebrow. Her raised the bet two hundred dollars.

“Another hundred,” Ness teased, throwing in extra chips. Everyone met her. 


“I wasn’t falling for that again,” Jasper said. “Ness is obviously bluffing with a terrible hand. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice-”


Ness revealed her cards, four of a kind. Jasper sighed as his full house was blown down.


...Nevermind,” he said.


The next round, Ness noticed the Yorkie’s tail wagging when flipped its cards. She saw Ignacio scratching his beard.

She folded after the first round of betting. Come the reveal, Ignacio lost all his chips to the Yorkie. 


By the thirteenth round, Ness played her cards. The poodle howled as she didn’t have a hand, but won by having the higher card. She took the last of his chips.

“I think I could learn to like gambling,” Ness admitted, surrounded by a castle made of chips. 

Ignacio and Jasper shared a look; the model only had half a stack and Jasper almost double that.

“That’s enough poker.”

Rhonda walked back in. All three dogs whined, but the hostess shook her head and shooed them. With their tails between their legs, they sauntered off. 

“By a large margin, Ness wins the challenge!”

“Woo-hoo!” She cheered. 

Throwing up her hands, she knocked over the table. “Uhh...I’ll clean that up.”

“No time,” Rhonda said. “Because we have one final test for our last newcomer.”

Everyone turned to look at Jasper, who tugged on his shirt collar. 


It was getting dark as the final three entered a seedy-looking bar. 

“For this challenge we needed the right audience and the right place,” Rhonda explained. 

A crowd of people were hollering  as curtains at a stage parted, revealing…

“A karaoke machine?” Jasper asked.

“Jasper, your challenge is about finding your voice. You struggle with being noticed, remembered and heard. For this challenge, you are going to have to get people to notice you, to really see you and hear you.”

“Sure,” Jasper replied. “Not like I’ve been trying to do that my whole life…”

“See,” Rhonda said. “I even noticed your lips were moving, but I heard nothing. For this challenge, you’ll each perform here at Okie-Karaoke Artichokie, a wonderful karaoke bar-”

Rhonda was interrupted by two large men wrestling on stage for the microphone.

“Give me that Lee! It’s my turn! I’m singing Numa, Numa!”

“You only sing it in English Dan! No one wants to hear Numa, Numa in English!”

“No one wants to hear you butcher Celine Dion but we let ya!”

The crowd started cheering as the two started biting each other.

“Dang it! I can’t get anymore blood on that stage.”

Ignacio raised an eyebrow. “This was the only place that would let you film.”

“...Yeah,” Rhonda admitted. “You three will each pick a song from a selection of popular karaoke hits we actually got the rights to. The audience will choose whose performance they enjoyed most.”

Jasper was breaking into a sweat. 

“We’ll go in order of the challenges; Ignacio, Ness and finally Jasper. No repeat songs either.”

The three nodded and made their way backstage. 


“Alright losers,” Jenny announced. “Our first singer is that Chilean hottie! With brains, brawn and booty, it’s...Ignacio!”

Ignacio walked out on stage. He forced a smile and winked, causing a few girls in the back to giggle.

A familiar, new-wave 80s song started. A cowbell dinged. The stage lights were bright pops of yellow and pink. The audience was already clapping as Ignacio started singing…

If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says, 

Fifteen miles to the... 

Love Shack! Love Shack, yeah.”

Ignacio bopped his head, occasionally clapping with the audience. He gave a neutral smile and tossed off his hoodie, revealing a button-up shirt underneath. Slowly, he undid the top button. 

The love shack is a little old place where,

We can get together!

Love shack baby!

A love shack baby!


From backstage, Ness fanned herself.

“Why does hot guys singing always get me?” she sighed. “Not that it matters…”

Jasper groaned. “He’s going to win! The song, unbuttoning his shirt...he’s actually using his sex appeal!”

Ness nodded. “He’s put on his model smile. It’s a smart move.”

“We can’t compete with that,” Jasper said. “So he wins. Final three challenges are usually automatic eliminations, which means if I’m the only one who fails their final test...I’m gone.”

Ness patted his shoulder. “You don’t know that. You don’t know if Iggy will win either.”

The crowd let out massive cheers as Ignacio tossed his shirt into the crowd.

Jasper gave her a look as she sheepishly smiled.


You're what?

Tin roof...

Rusted!

Love shack, baby love shack!

Love shack, baby love shack!

Love shack, baby love shack!

Love shack, baby love shack!

Ignacio bowed. They cheered and roared, one girl even fainting, as Ignacio walked back stage. As soon as he did, his smile dropped. He ran right into Ness.

“Oh...sorry.”

“Um...here.”

She held out his red sweatshirt.

“I grabbed this, just so you wouldn’t have to be shirtless,” Ness admitted. “You...you were really cool out there.”

He gave a soft smile and passed her the mic.


“That performance was okay if you like cooties,” Jenny said. “Let’s give it up for our next singer. She’s a category five human disaster. Is she supernatural or just suck at life? Probably both! It’s Ness.”

Ness glared at the redheaded co-host, before giving a small wave to the audience.

“I’d like to dedicate this song to someone special,” Ness said. “Someone who means a lot to me, whose been there for me...and deserves to be treated better.”

A slow, eighties guitar riff started, before drums started to kick in. Dim purple lights shone on her.

I never meant to cause you any sorrow...

I never meant to cause you any pain...

I only wanted to one time to see you laughing….

I only wanted to see you,

Laughing in the purple rain.

“Purple rain, purple rain…”

A few of the audience members started to tear up as Ness sang. 


From backstage, Ignacio watched Ness’ performance.

“Did she...did she dedicate this song to me?” Ignacio asked.

Jasper gave him the most confused look.

“For a genius, you can be kind of dumb,” the boy said. “This is an apology song. Ness is trying to say she's sorry.”

Ignacio rubbed the back of his head. “I should talk to her after the challenge.”

Jasper stuck his head out of the curtain. The audience was feeling sad, some wiping their eyes on their sleeves and blowing their nose in napkins. 


“Between Ness singing an apology love ballad and Ignacio’s stripping and dancing, I knew I was done,” Jasper admitted. “How could I outshine them? I can’t outshine a shadow. I know because people would pick my shadow before me in gym class. Still, if this is it I have to give it my all…”


“If you know what I'm singing about up here

C'mon, raise your hand!”

Ness tripped, but played it off as though as she sliding forward. Most of the audience had raised their hand.

“Purple rain, purple rain

I only want to see you

Only want to see you

In the purple rain.”

She bowed her head. The audience burst into applause. By now, a few audience members were waving their lighters.

Ness curtsied and made her way backstage.

“Boring,” Jenny yawned. “If you thought that was a snoozefest, it’s got nothing on our next singer. It’s Jude...err Jasper!”


Jasper awkwardly side-stepped on stage. He gulped before taking the mic in his hand.

“Um, of the songs we could pick I like this one.”

An audience member coughed loudly.

Jasper closed his eyes. 

A jaunty, catchy, almost jazzy nineties song began to build. Bright, green lights shone on the stage.

We’ll be singing, when we’re winning,” Jasper sang. “We’ll be singing....

The song dropped. Jasper started banging his head as he belted the chorus.

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

You are never gonna keep me down!

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

You are never gonna keep me down!

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

You are never gonna keep me down!

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

You are never gonna keep me down!

The audience had started to chant with Jasper as he pumped his fist. 

He sings the songs that remind him of the good times.

He sings the songs that remind him of the better times.

Oh Danny boy, Danny boy, Danny boy…

Smirking, Jasper jumped off the stage onto a bar. He motioned the audience to join him in as he chanted the chorus.

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

You are never gonna keep me down!

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

You are never gonna keep me down!

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

You are never gonna keep me down!

I get knocked down, but I get up again,

You are never gonna keep me down!

Backstage, Ness and Ignacio couldn’t help sharing a smile as they tapped their foot along. Even Jenny was headbanging a little.

I get knocked, but I get up again, 

You are never gonna keep me down!

I get knocked, but I get up again.

You are never gonna keep me down.”

Once again, the crowd burst into cheers as Jasper finished his song. For the first time, he opened his eyes. He blushed, but made a rock-on sign and banged his head to the audience one last time. 


“That. Was. Awesome!” Jasper shouted. “So much fun! Why don’t I do more fun things like that? They were really feeling it! I may not have won, but I didn’t go out with a whimper. That’s not so bad.”


Outside the Okie-Karaoke Artichokie, as patrons stumbled in and out, the final three were lined up.

“It was close,” Rhonda said. “Extremely close, but based on average score of all the surveyed patrons...Jasper won!”

Jasper’s eyes grew wide. A few passing patrons “Woo-hoo” ‘d as they passed.

“I did?” Jasper asked. “How?”

“The audience said you didn’t have a great singing voice or dance moves,” Rhonda admitted. “They probably wouldn’t pick a singer like you...but when you sang that song they felt something.”

Jasper smiled a little. “Really?”

Rhonda nodded. “One lady said she heard a guy who had been through it all. One guy said they heard someone who wouldn’t quit until he was done. You didn’t say it, but they knew you were fighting. They heard your voice.”

Jasper was beaming now. 

“Congrats final three! You all pasted your final test. You should feel super proud.”

The three newcomers all shared a smile, but it quickly changed to a look of confusion. 

“So then...we all won?” Ness asked. 

“Is there a tiebreaker?” Jasper asked.

“Is the final challenge now with all three of us?” Ignacio asked.

“Oh gosh no,” Rhonda said. “Do you think we have the budget to make the finale between three people? Especially after the royalties for that music! This challenge has a winner.”

“Who?” all three asked.

The hostess smirked. “If we only wanted you to overcome your weaknesses, why would we have everyone compete? Each place in each challenge was worth points; first place got five, second place got three, and last got none.”

“So...whoever did best overall got the best score,” Ignacio said.

Rhonda nodded. “Which means our winner, with a guaranteed spot in the final two is...Jasper!”

The brunette boy looked as though he was about to faint. “Me? I’m in the finals? ...I’m in the finals! YES! WOO!”

Jasper started to jump up and down.

Ignacio and Ness shared a look. 

“So...who goes home?” Ness asked.

The hostess grinned even more. “Remember that reward I mentioned for winning the challenge?”

Jasper stopped jumping. “Oh, yeah. Is it some kind of advantage in the finale?”

“You could say that,” Rhonda replied. “The reward is that tonight, only Jasper will be voting.”

“Wait, you mean I pick who I want to compete against in the final two?”

“Exactly! You’ll cast the sole vote tonight, determining which of your former teammates goes home and who will be your final competition. You have a few hours to mull over it..”

Jasper rubbed the back of his neck and forced a smile at the other two. They forced a smile back.


“I’m going to the finals!” Jasper cheered. “Winning this challenge feels amazing! That’s five! Five wins! That’s a new record! I’m glad because if I didn’t win, I doubt Ness or Ignacio would’ve taken me. Sure, they were mad at each other...but they like each other. Now...I could actually win. I could be the winner of Total Drama.”

Jasper stared off into space, happily sighing to himself. After a moment, he shook his head. “But there’s one last challenge. So I have to decide; who? Ignacio or Ness? Ness or Ignacio? This is a two million dollar decision.”

He looked directly at the camera. “No pressure.”


Ness and Ignacio sat in silence in the dining room. 

Finally, the model cleared his throat. “I don’t want our time on this show to end like this. I’m sorry I hadn’t-”

“-No, don’t be sorry,” Ness said. “I’m sorry! I feel so terrible for lying to you last challenge. You didn’t deserve that.”

The short girl looked at the floor. She looked up as she felt Ignacio touch her shoulder. He smiled at her.

“I appreciate you dedicating your song to me,” he said. “I don’t want to be mad at you. However, I don’t understand why you lied to me in the first place. Was it that important to win? I thought we could win together.”

“It wasn’t about winning the challenge,” Ness said. “I wanted to go with you at first...then I felt stupid. So I ran like a dumb coward.”

“Why did you feel stupid?”

Ness shook her head. “Like I could actually go to the prom with you. In real life, you’d never ask me. I was embarrassed to be asked out of pity…”

“Just like your last prom,” Ignacio recalled.

“Yeah,” Ness said. “I just felt foolish for wanting to go with you and being excited and then...acted stupid."

“Ness, I want to go to prom with you,” Ignacio said. “A real prom! It’d be fun. I like spending time with you; you’re sweet, kind, and surprisingly perky for everything that happens to you. I wish I could be as positive with my mishaps.”

Ness glomped Ignacio in a hug. “Promise me we’ll hang out again after the show.”

He hugged her tighter. “I promise. Ness, I’ve been waiting to tell you, but-”

“-Uh, hey guys.”

The two looked up to see Jasper standing in the doorway.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” the brunette boy said. “Wanted to let you know, I’m still not sure what I’m doing. I thought maybe, you should tell me why I should take you to the Final 2. If you want to come separately to my room, there’s still time.”

“One of us will be there soon,” Ness replied. Ignacio nodded.

Jasper gave a thumbs-up and walked off.

“It sucks I didn't," Ness said. "But if I won, I'd probably have taken you."

Ignacio chuckled. “I was just thinking the same thing. We promised earlier we wouldn’t throw the game away for each other.”

Ness nodded. “We’ll both keep fighting. Say whatever you want to convince Jasper; I will too.”

The two gave each other a tense smile.


Jasper sat on the bed as Ignacio paced around the room.

“I think Ness is the bigger threat,” Ignacio said. “She’s dangerous when underestimated. She’s managed to think her way to victory or close several times. It’s...super hot actually...”

“Ignacio is way tougher,” Ness said, later in the same room. “He’s a genius, he’s supernaturally attractive, and in good shape. He’d smoke anyone in the finals.”

“She and I have both won two challenges,” Ignacio admitted. “She’s survived three tiebreakers though! That’s dangerous. Not to mention she won our team the Awake-a-thon and the scavenger hunt.”

“True, we both won two challenges,” Ness continued. “I only won one because I had a reality show veteran as a partner. Capturing the horse wasn’t skill based. He lead an orc army and dominated the prom challenge. He’s a triple threat.”

“The eliminated newcomers will support her,” Ignacio stated. “A lot of people love her. Most of the Fireworks, plus Melissa and her are close. Melissa will convince plenty of Eagles to support her. The Eagle boys are probably mad I failed the boys' alliance.”

“Everyone likes Ignacio,” Ness said. “Sure some people will pity me, but they respect or like him more. The Fireworks or Kalino and his guys' alliance.They’ll still support their bro. I’m sure a few girls will pick him just because he’s attractive.”

“I guess I seem threatening,” Ignacio said. “The actual results say otherwise. Ness has a better track record, a better social game, and is a fan too. You know how determined that makes someone.”

“We know I’m unlucky,” Ness said. “I hope it doesn’t, but my bad luck could cost me the challenge right away. Ignacio? He’ll win all the support, then dominate the challenge. I hate to say it, but he’s playing to support his family. That’s motivation we can’t beat Jasper.”

After each said their final words, Jasper nodded and thanked them. He sat alone on his bed, staring at the ceiling.


“I kept thinking and thinking,” Jasper said. “I counted supporters on my fingers, imagined possible final challenges, tried to remember every challenge so far...I’m not sure I have the right answer, but I have an answer.”


At the Haunted Internet Cafe, the final three sat at one table. The model and the jinx watched the nobody head into the computer booth. In less than a minute, he walked out. They shared one last look at each other.

Toby walked from behind the counter, carrying a tray with only two cups. Rhonda approached her podium. She smiled for a second.

“Today’s flavor is lemon zest,” Rhonda said. “The first cup goes to our first finalist. Kudos Jasper.”

The brunette boy smiled. Rhonda motioned him to come over. He nodded, approaching the podium and taking his cup.

“Since Jasper made the decision, it’s only fitting he gives out the last cup. Jasper?”

The brunette boy nodded. “This was tough. I’m not excited going against either of you. Still, I had to make a choice. I’m sorry.”

He grabbed the cup. Holding it out, he added, “I’m giving this cup to…”
































“...Ness.”

The dirty blonde let out a gasp. Instead of taking the cup from Jasper, she turned to Ignacio. She glomped him tighter than she ever had.

Jasper mouthed sorry to the model. Ignacio forced a smile and shrugged.

“You were an amazing competitor Jasper,” Ignacio said. “I wish I got to know you sooner in this game.”

Ignacio embraced Ness. She had started to cry in his jacket. “It’s okay, I promised I’ll see you after the show. I’ll see you at the finals before then. I’ll be cheering for you in your section.”

Ness forced a laugh. She gave a soft smile and looked up at Ignacio. “Don’t let Carla or any other person take away that you’re the best.”

Ignacio grabbed Ness’ hands in his. “Ness, earlier, what I wanted to say to you…”

“...I know you can win this.”

He hugged her one last time. Waving goodbye, he exited the Revolving Doors of Shame.

Rhonda raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. “Now, we have our Final 2! Jasper and Ness, who’d have thought?”

Rhonda motioned to the two, who were sipping their cups of coffee.

“There can only be one winner! Who will win it all? Who will lose it all? How? There’s only one way to find out. Next time; Genesis ends.”

Chapter 28 Hear My Winner's Prayer[]

Late at night, Jasper and Ness walked through the doors of the Pentagram. Ness had a camera around her neck and a hat on her head, while Jasper wore a novelty tourist shirt saying, “I Love Washington, D.C.”. 

“We finally did a real tour of D.C.,” Jasper said. “A lot of monuments. A lot.”

Ness nodded. “I bet Aiden’s stir crazy he hasn’t been able to visit them daily..”

“Trust me, he was.”

The two finalists shared a laugh.

“I can’t believe it,” Ness said. “Our last night in the Pentagram.”

Jasper nodded. “It’s going to be hard to sleep.”

She poked his side. “Not you, with your massage bed and silk sheets.”

“Yeah, I’ll be real comfy while having a panic attack about the finale tomorrow.”

“I still can’t believe I’m in the final two,” Ness admitted.

“Same,” Jasper said, quickly adding, “Uh, I meant me being here.”

“Tell me about it!”

The two turned around. Jenny sat in a lounge chair, Elaine the vulture resting on her shoulder, in the middle of a game on her phone.The elevator shaft was open and the room slightly raised, with a pair of long legs sticking out. A red toolbox was close by.

“I had you two pegged as your team’s first choice for elimination,” Jenny said. “I guess I was half-right.”

Jasper glared at the redhead.

“But we started on the same team,” Ness said.

Jenny shrugged. “I figured with your luck, you wouldn’t be placed on a team with another obvious early out. Kudos for subverting that.”

Ness joined in on glaring at the redhead.

“I mean seriously,” Jenny continued ranting, “Your audition tape was just a filmed prank while Jasper was cast by accident. Can’t blame me for thinking you’d be out soon.”

“I guess fate wanted one to be the winner.”

Jasper gulped as Ness shivered.

Toby slid out from under the elevator. “This thing is almost ready.”

“Finally,” his cohort sighed. “I almost worked up a sweat watching you fix this.”

“Fix the elevator?” Ness asked. “Why would you do that?”

“The hotel has to open soon,” Toby said. “Can’t be a real hotel with a broken elevator.”

“What about the confessional though?” Jasper asked.

Toby rolled his eyes. “I just need to tweak the panel a bit before it takes off again. You can confess any last thoughts before I do.”

“Make it snappy,” Jenny added.


Jasper shifted uncomfortably. “Is it weird I’m not sure what to say? I’ve been freaking myself out with thoughts about what would happen if I lose...and what would happen if I win. Now I have to give my final thoughts? I guess I want to say...I’m glad I was here. Being voted out sucked, but returning was cool. To anyone who is actually rooting for me; I won’t let you down.”


Ness shook her head. “This is really it. When they first told me I got cast, by dad talked to talk me out of it. If I had listened, I’d have missed out on the best experience of my life. I’m tired of not trying new things because I’m afraid of my luck. What I’m trying to say is that I wish every fan can experience it. If I win, I hope you can live through me and enjoy it.”


Ness exited the elevator. Toby nodded and entered, screwdriver in hand.

Rhonda walked up, flipping through a stack of papers in her hand. “Hey you two, I need you to fake a few signatures for a building inspector and then...oh. Hey final two! Ha, ha, ready for tomorrow?”

“As much as we can be,” Jasper admitted. 

“Guess you can’t give us hints at tomorrow's challenge?” Ness asked.

Rhonda smiled. “All I can say is that it won’t be easy.”

“Wasn’t expecting it to be,” Jasper replied.

“I wish it had a bigger budget,” Rhonda said. “Still, it was fun planning my last challenge.”

“Last?” Jasper asked. “What about next season’s challenges?”

“There is no next season.”

The two finalist’s eyes grew wide. “No more Total Drama?!”

“Not stateside,” Rhonda replied. “I’m sure Canada will keep the brand alive. We’re cancelled.”

“Wait,” Ness said, “that’s why you were acting so weird at the final four?”

“Don’t tell me Blainerson’s responsible,” Jasper sighed. “Ruining another thing I love.”

“Not directly,” Rhonda said. “The network was pulling our plug regardless. His own show didn’t change that.”

“Can’t you do anything?” Ness wondered. “America’s wanted its own Total Drama for forever!”

“I tried pulling every favor I had left,” Rhonda said. “Nothing. It’d take a miracle.”

Jasper tapped his chin. “What kind of miracle?”

“I don’t know,” Rhonda said. “The network would have to think it’s a surefire hit. Be certain people would turn in for it than any other show. If I knew how to do that, I would’ve done it this season.”

“What about a famous celebrity,” Jasper suggested. 

“They’d have to be one of the most famous people on Earth,” Rhonda stated. “More famous than even Blainerson is.”

Jasper frowned, but tapped his chin faster and faster. “Maybe…”

“You have to do something,” Ness pleaded.

“I am,” the hostess replied. “I’m trying to make our last episode a great one. We already have an amazing final two.”

Jasper stopped thinking and blushed while Ness beamed. 

“You two get some rest,” Rhonda encouraged. “You have a big day tomorrow and we start early!”

The two quickly nodded. 

Toby motioned to the elevator. The two stepped inside, waving goodnight as the automatic doors closed and it took off. 

“You know,” Rhonda said. “I’m really going to miss these kids.”

“I’m not,” Jenny said.

“Yes you will,” Toby said. “We all will.”

Jenny sighed. “Yeah...we will.”

The three walked off together. 


In the suite she had lived all summer, Ness was packing. She zipped her suitcase and patted the bulging bag.

“To think my luggage was stolen the first day,” she recalled. “What a simpler time.”

She frowned, taking in the blank room. She moved her suitcase to the nearby empty bed. She plopped down. She started fidgeting with her charm bracelet. 

“I know things can’t be good if they don’t end,” Ness told herself. “Stars are pretty because they’re actually balls of light dying out, we’re just now seeing them. My time here wouldn’t be so amazing if it didn’t end.”

She sniffled. “Doesn’t mean I’m ready!”

She took a deep breath. “I need to stay focused. I need to make everything I’ve done count by winning tomorrow. I can do it!”

She tried making a tough face, throwing up her arms...and accidentally punching herself. 

“No pain, no gain,” she groaned. She rolled over to turn off the lights. 


Jasper was pacing inside the luxury suite. He stopped and peered at a mirror, staring down his reflection.

“Don’t psych yourself out. You want to win. ...No, you will win. You have to. Then...I’ll be somebody.”

He forced a smile, running a hand through his hair and slicking it back. “Yeah, people will remember me after this. Fans will come up to me in the streets. I’ll do talk shows and conventions...I’ll get a girlfriend and have my first kiss.”

He leaned against the mirror, winking at himself. “My win will be the start of a lot of good things. My life will change!”

His slicked hair bounced back to it’s old style. His face fell. “Will it? Will I just be forgotten again?”

He turned his back to the mirror, slouching down to the floor. “I’ll only find out if I don’t win. Everything I did was building towards this moment. ...It meant something.”

He crawled into bed, turning on the massage feature. He clapped; the lights went out. Tossing and turning, he whispered to himself. “I can win, I can win, I can win...”


At 8 A.M., the final two were woken up by the sound of a rooster over the P.A. Neither looked like they slept. Heading to the dining hall, they found the hosts waiting with a small breakfast buffet.

“Really?” Jasper asked. “For us?”

“The first of many surprises,” Rhonda said. 

Jasper and Ness took their seats, filling their plates with protein and fruits. Jasper pulled out a piece of paper and started writing.

“Whatcha doing?” Ness asked, in-between bites.

“Writing a letter,” Jasper said. “Waking up, I had an idea that might actually save the show.”

“Ooh!” Ness exclaimed. “Maybe you have the gift like Seraphina.”

“I wish,” he replied. “I just hope it can get there before it’s too late.”

Rhonda cleared her throat as she walked out of the kitchen. “While you finish breakfast, we have our next surprise. There are a few people who want to talk to you privately. Who’s first?”

Ness gulped. Looking at Jasper writing, she shrugged and stood up.


Ness took a seat inside the lobby as Toby wheeled up a monitor.

“Hmm,” Ness said. “Isn’t that the computer from when our loved ones-”

“-Hey sweetie.”

Ness froze. “Dad?”

On the laptop screen was Ness’ father Richard. He sat alone on a used coach. On a nearby stand were a few photos; Richard and Ness’ stepfather Markie at their wedding, a younger Ness and seemingly her older brother at Christmas, and a tall, brunette woman that bore more than a passing resemblance to Ness.

“What are you doing dad?” Ness asked.

“The show said it was having finalists video-chat with their families,” he answered. “I wanted to see you.”

Ness shuffled uncomfortably. “Oh. Where’s Markie? Or my brother?”

“I asked to talk to you alone,” Richard said. “I’ll grab them in a moment. I just...I know the last time I saw you was tense.”

The jinx crossed her arms. “Yeah. You told me I should quit. Then...I kind of went off.”

Richard nodded. “Since then I’ve been watching every episode. I wanted to say...I was wrong for telling you that.”

Ness raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Of course,” Richard replied. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. You’ve been trying so hard. It’s made you really happy. I never knew school was so bad or how upset your were at home. I didn’t know you were so miserable.”

“How could you not?” Ness asked.

“You had a happy front,” her father replied. “I took it at face value. I guess I didn’t want to look deeper than that.”

“I didn’t want to make you unhappy,” Ness replied. “I already stress you out enough with my bad luck. I wanted you to be happy with Markie and have a happy life...but I’m tired of pretending things are okay when they aren’t.”

“I’m so sorry honey,” Richard said. “I hate I made you feel had to put on a front. You’re right, your...accidents do stress me out. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I want you to be happy now.”

Ness smiled a bit. “Thanks Dad...thanks.”

“I’m so proud watching you,” her father said. “Not just making the finals. Just you making friends and enjoying yourself. How hard you tried at challenges too. You’re not my little girl anymore. You’re your own woman Ness. Your mother would be proud.”

Ness laughed, but was clearly tearing up. “Aww, dad!”


Jasper shuffled to the open chair in front of the laptop. As the feed turned on, Jasper raised his eyes in shock.

“Mom? Dad?”

On the monitor were Jasper’s parents unpacking suitcases in some hotel room. Both were in their early thirties and in good shape. His mother had black hair tied in a bun, brown eyes, and wore a white dress to match a pearl necklace. His father had brunet hair, wore a white suit, and had a stylized mustache. 

“Oh darling look,” his mother said. “It’s that son of ours.”

“Hey kiddo,” his father replied. “How's it going?”

Jasper stared for a second. “Um...hey? What’s going on?”

“Some TV people said you were on a show,” his mother said. “Good for you!”

“I’m on Total Drama,” Jasper replied. “Didn’t you notice I wasn’t home?”

“I was wondering where your mother left you,” his father said.

Jasper’s mom laughed. “I meant to ask you the same thing.”

“You really didn’t realize I was gone all summer?” Jasper asked. “Weren’t you worried? I could’ve been in danger.”

“You’re a teenage boy,” his mother added. “You go and you do things and then other things. It’s what boys do. No need to worry.”

“Instead you were on TV,” his father chuckled. “Trying to make your older brother jealous, eh?”

“Didn’t Blainerson tell you he saw me?” Jasper asked.

“Oh, so he helped you onto the show?” his father asked. “Glad to know you boys are getting along.”

“No! Well...kind of,” Jasper replied. “Did Blainerson really not mention being here? I defeated him in a duel!”

“Not a word of it,” his father added. “Speaking of words, I’m using mine to say we have to leave.”

Jasper frowned. “We just started talking. I haven’t even told you about all the things I’ve done. I’ve won five-”

“-Sorry dear but Blainerson brought us to France,” his mother said. “His big Europe tour kicks off today! We have a cheese tasting in ten minutes.”

“Is a cheese more important than talking to me?” Jasper asked.

“Of course not,” his mother replied. Then adding, “but it’s French cheese. The European Wisconsin!”

“I bet you Blainerson scheduled this concert now on purpose,” Jasper said. “He knew what was today!”

“This has been weeks in planning,” his father replied. 

Jasper rolled his eyes. “You know, I’m in the final two. I could win two million dollars today!”

His parents shared a look…

“You really think so sport?” his father asked.

Jasper shrugged. “You’d have to watch and find out.”

His father stroked his mustache. “Maybe we could record it…”

“Darling, you know the DVR is full with Actual Housewives I need to catch up on,” she said. “How will I know if Lisa and Cheryl went to Karen’s brunch after she didn’t go to Morocco?” 

“Too true,” he said. “If you do win we’d love to hear all about it Jerry.”

Jasper glared. “Forget it, I don’t care if you know. I don’t need to impress you. This win isn’t about you, it’s about m-”

“What was that hon?” his mom asked. “I was checking your father’s ears for wax. You know how good he is at making wax.”

“And you know how good your mother is at finding it.”

The two shared a chuckle, as Jasper gave them a confused, yet annoyed look. “Who's going to be at this concert anyway?”

“Everyone!” his mother replied. “Blainerson flew out the family, cousins and all. Not to mention the biggest celebrities.”  

“Anybody who's anybody,” his dad replied. “Did...did Blainerson not invite you?”

The parents shared a look. 

“Like I’d want to see him lip synch,” Jasper replied. “Are all those people really going to be there?”

The two nodded.

Jasper rubbed his chin. “I may actually save the show in time! Listen, I need you to do something! It’s really important to me and a lot of people.”

His father flicked his mustache. “Our cheese tour-”

Jasper groaned. He pulled his letter out of his back pocket. “Just take a photo! Then write it out, word for word. Then deliver it at the concert. Please!”

Jasper’s parents shared a look. “Well, if it means that much to you…”

“This might actually save the show,” Jasper whispered, smirking.

"Who are we giving it to?"

“Someone special…”


Jasper returned to breakfast. He sighed, contently, and started chewing a piece of bacon.

“Have a good chat?” Ness asked.

“Not in the least,” Jasper replied. “I just got something off my mind. Now, I can focus. You?”

“It was...nice,” Ness admitted. “I think I feel relieved too. All I have to think about now is winning!”

The two shared a smirk, before chuckling nervously.

Ness took one last bite of her egg. “This is the last supper of Genesis. Err, breakfast. No more meals here.”

“Not if one of us wins,” Jasper said. “If we miss it, we could always rent a room.”

Ness giggled. “Maybe, but I might regret spending the money.”

Jasper, Lifting his orange juice glass, said, “Well then, to Total Drama Genesis! And being in the final two!”

Here, here!” Ness added. 

The two clinked their glasses and chugged them. Their plates cleaned, they nodded and pushed out their chairs.

It was time.


The finalists followed Rhonda outside the Pentagram’s entrance. In the hotel’s courtyard, a stage had been built, with two podiums in the center. To the right were green bleachers and a banner of Jasper’s face. Identical yellow bleachers were to the left, a banner displaying Ness’ face.

“Welcome final two,” Rhonda said. “To your final challenge! Jasper, Ness. Ness, Jasper; it’s time to find out who earns two million dollars and becomes the winner of Total...Drama...Genesis!”

The two let out a cheer.

“Let’s start with part one,” Rhonda said. “Winning over our Peanut Gallery of Losers. You’ll start by making opening statements. Then our losers will come out one by one. They may ask a question, make a statement, or say nothing. They’ll then choose who’s section to sit in. If they hear anything that changes their mind, they can move sections until the last supporter has taken their seat.”

The finalists nodded.

“Great. Ness, you’ve been randomly selected to start us off. They’ll watch from a monitor in the lobby.”

Ness forced a smile as she and Jasper stood behind the podium closer to their respective sections.

“Hey everybody,” Ness greeted, looking directly in the camera. “I’m thrilled I’m here! I’m just so happy I got to do this and meet a lot of you. I admit, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for some good friends. Still, I’m actually proud of myself!

“I mean, I won two invincibility challenges and contributed to some team wins, like the scavenger hunt and the Awake-a-thon. Not to mention all those tiebreakers! I think I’ve played hard and proved why I’m here. I overcame a lot of odds. I know I seem like a klutz and jinx, but I hope you respect how I’ve played enough to support me. I’m a huge fan and I’ve been living my dream. I want to make that dream come true by winning!”

She threw her arms up. Rhonda, Jasper and the co-hosts clapped, while Ness blushed and nodded.

“Jasper?”

The brunet boy gulped, but nodded. Clearing his throat, he leaned into the podium’s mic. “Maybe some of you don’t remember me...but you should. I’m a finalist and I deserve to be here too.”

“I know a lot of you are probably thinking, ‘Jasper returned. That’s unfair. He shouldn’t win’. I believe that thinking is unfair. You can hate returning, but blame that on Rhonda or the show. It’s part of Total Drama, always has been. You can’t fault me for taking advantage of part of the game. If you can honestly say you wouldn’t do the same, then you can fault me I guess.

“But I never gave up. Not when I returned, nor when I was going to lose a challenge regardless. I never gave up. I kept going and going. That’s why I won five challenges. That’s why I’m here. That’s why you should support me.”

Jasper nodded as the others clapped.

“Wonderful speeches,” Rhonda said. “Let’s see if it convinced any of the losers. Supporters, let’s get going! Peanut Gallery of Losers?”


Bethany jogged out, forcing a smile. “First again. Not that I care or it upsets me. Nope, totally over it.”

Jasper and Ness raised their eyebrows.

“First congratulations to both of you,” Bethany said. “I agree, you both so deserve it. Between the two of you, you have some impressive accomplishments. So, what’s your secret?”

“Huh?” Ness asked.

“Secret?” Jasper said.

“You know,” Bethany said. “How did you win challenges? What’s your greatest strength?”

Ness nodded. “I think for me, I knew it was going to be an uphill battle. I’m not the strongest or the smartest, especially here. But what I couldn’t outmatch, I could out think. I had to figure out a solution to my problems, play to my strengths or weaknesses in my opponent or loopholes in the system. Besides that, I made the right connections. I drafted the right team, to speak jock.”

Bethany nodded, then turned to Jasper.

“I don’t think I ‘outmatched’ Ness persay,” Jasper admitted. “I mean, I’m no physical threat. I did my share of thinking. I solved a murder mystery! My greatest strength is that I don’t give up. I found a way to keep fighting, even when I was sure I’d lost. I don’t know why; I wasn’t confident in myself. I just knew I had to try.”

Bethany nodded. Finally, she took a seat in Jasper’s support section. Jasper’s face lit up. Bethany shot an apologetic glance at the jinx.

“Sorry Ness,” Bethany said. “You’re a lot stronger than the girl who I saved from scarabs, but Jasper’s answer just spoke to me, you know?”

The jinx sighed, but nodded.  

Bethany shot finger pistols at Jasper. “Just remember, that you-”

“-Next!” Rhonda called. 

Hayden strolled out of the door. “Hey you two. Hats off to making it here. We all wish that was us, but we’re happy for you. My question is; you played with twenty other folks. Who was your one greatest ally?”

Neither spoke for a minute. 

“Only one?” Ness asked. 

Hayden nodded.

“I didn’t have one,” Jasper admitted. “I worked with anyone who would. I was close with Lita and Tessa, but they went home soon after. I always ended up alone.”

He frowned while Hayden gave a sympathetic yet condescending look. 

The big brother turned to Ness, who finally shrugged. “I won’t pick one. Lita and Seraphina’s friendship meant so much to me. You need friends like that in this game. Then, Melissa was that friend at the merge. Our girls' alliance certainly got us far. Her and Ignacio were there for me. He comforted me a lot.

“I have to pick at least those four, but all my friends were important.”

Hayden smiled. “Perfect answer.”

“Really?” she asked. “But you said one-”

“-It was a trick question dear,” Hayden replied. “Life isn’t about being alone, but making the right friends. You did.”

Hayden sat in Ness’ support section. “I still remember on the first day when I helped you out a trash can. They grow up so fast.”

“We’re tied,” Rhonda said. “But not for long! Give it up for, Pascal!”

Pascal forced a smile as he strutted out the door. Behind the pop star, his former rival turned girlfriend hopped after him. 

“Oh em gee!” Mandy squealed. “EEEEEEEEE! This is even cooler than our finale Pascal. Remember, ya remember? The weather was like, so nice, but then turned so bad and I thought-”

Pascal raised a finger to Mandy’s lip. She looked at it like it was a foreign concept.

“Super cool you guys are here,” Pascal said. 

He turned to Ness, who frowned at him. She gasped as he and Mandy took a seat in her support section.

“Ness,” Pascal said. “I lied to you and it was not super duper nice. I’m really happy you’re here. You’re way cool, the coolest person here!”

Ness blushed. “Oh wow, thanks Pascal. I appreciate it.”

With a wink, he said, “You got this! Remember; if you believe it, you’ll achieve it.”

“I don’t actually count as a supporter,” Mandy said. “But I’m going to be cheering for you Ness! Cause like I can’t forget how nice you were to me! Eeeee! I hope we both be winners and do cool winner things together!”

Ness giggled, while Jasper scowled.

Pascal cleared his throat. “Also, I know some guys have kind of sucked, but don’t count yourself out. There’s somebody for you. Like, actually really close-”

Mandy shushed him now.

“Moving on,” Rhonda said. “It’s Aiden!”

Marching out of the door was said patriot. Aiden reached the two, taking off his cap and saluting the finalists. The two forced a smile and saluted them back.

“Gee golly those were good speeches,” Aiden said. “I’m a little undecided. I think you both have what it takes to be America’s first winner.”

The two beamed. 

“Help me out a little,” Aiden said. “If you were America’s first Total Drama winner, what would that mean? What would you do to represent us?”

“I’d be honored to represent us,” Ness said. “I don’t know if anyone would want me, but I’d try do interviews and speak at conventions. I always wanted to do a Youtube channel on Total Drama!”

Jasper nodded. “I’d do a lot of the same things. More than that, I’d fight for the show to be renewed. Fans in America have wanted their own season for forever! I don’t want it to end now. Genesis means a start, not an end.”

Aiden sniffled and nodded. He marched over to Jasper’s support section, saluting the boy before taking his seat. The support sections were two each.

Griswold walked up next.

“Super cool that two Fizzled Fireworks are here,” he said. “I knew one of us would win! WOO!”

“Woo!” Ness cheered.

“Woo,” Jasper added, a little forced.

“I don’t think it’s a surprise,” Griswold said. “But I got to go with-”

He tore open his varsity jacket, revealing a shirt with Ness’ face on it; it read ‘NESS IS THE BEST’. Ness grinned and giggled.

“She’s such a fighter,” Griswold said. “Girl survived everything this show threw at her...and even stuff it didn’t. Couldn’t be prouder we were teamies dude.”

“Couldn’t have asked for a better captain,” Ness replied.

Melissa skipped out of the Pentagram. She was carrying a plate covered in tinfoil. “I’m so happy for you two! Know whoever wins, you’re both amazing to me.”

She removed the tinfoil, revealing pastries in the shape of Ness’ face. 

“I’m supporting my girl Ness,” Melissa announced. “So for her support section, I’m showcasing a new recipe; Ness Neapolitan Napoleons, or mille-feuilles. They’re chocolate, vanilla, strawberry wafers with homemade icing in between!”

Melissa offered one to her friend, before sitting in her support section and passing them around.

“Mmmm,” Griswold sighed. “Tastes like...victory.”

“This isn’t a bribe,” Melissa added. “I think everyone should support Ness because she played the best. I think her social game was super.”

The girls winked as they enjoyed their treat.

“Did anyone make anything with my face on,” Jasper mumbled.

With Melissa as the sweet, Diamonique exited next to bring the spice.

The scatterbrain strutted up. She turned to eye Melissa’s treat, before turning her nose. She waddled over to Jasper’s support section, winking at the surprised boy.

“I told a lot of lies,” Diamonique said. “I’m not proud of it. But the one time I wasn’t lying was to you Jasper.”

“Really?” Jasper asked.

“I really did want us to be the final two,” Diamonique replied. “I genuinely thought we deserved it. Two returnees with nothing to lose.”

She looked off into the distance, smirking for a second. She frowned and shrugged at the finalist. “I let you down. But I’m glad you’re here. Team Jasper all the way!”

She set down with a thud, nearly flinging Aiden off the bench. 

Xidorn walked out, flashing a peace sign. He was wearing his sweatshirt’s hoodie up. 

“Props on making it to the final two!” Xidorn stated. “As a fellow fan I’m pumped...but also super jealous.”

He laughed as the two smiled. “I’d ask a question, but to be honest I’ve already decided who I’d support.”

He dropped his hoodie, revealing his hair was dyed green. 

“I think you’ve played a killer game Jasper,” the film buff said. “It’s not just the record of wins, while impressive. I think to make it this far after the position you started in is super impressive. You got this man!”

Xidorn jumped up to Jasper’s support section, causing the finalist to smile.

“Now put your hands together for...Frannie!”

Frannie cartwheeled out of the Pentagram, before jumping and doing a split in front of the finalists. She whistled and her lemur Ziba landed on her shoulder.

“Hey final two,” Frannie said, “Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired?”

The finalists shrugged.

“Never approving her timecard?” Jasper suggested.

“Uh...no. She couldn’t control her pupils!”

Frannie tittered while Ziba facepalmed. 

“Anyway,” Frannie continued. “I have to say...I’m supporting Jasper. I wasn’t sure, but your speech convinced me. What you said about second chances...I understand. I wish I could’ve had one.”

She forced a smile before flipping over to Jasper’s support section. 

Riley strolled out, waving at the finalists. 

“Pastor Jasper, Loch Ness,” the bro said. “Congrats! Honor to compete against you animals. This may seem like personal bias, and it kind of is, but I got to support my girl Ness!”

She held up a giant foam finger with Ness’ face on it. 

“Thanks Rye,” Ness replied. “I thought maybe after voting for you-”

Riley shook her head. “I told you not to sweat that. You’re in the final two, yeah? So it was the right choice. You were an important teammate and you killed the merge. Now take home that win!”

Riley winked, taking a seat next to Griswold. She kissed his cheek, before waving around her finger one last time. 

Zipporah walked out next. 

She sighed and shrugged. “I guess it’s cool you guys are the finalists...if reality shows weren’t just false narratives constructed by corporations to reinforce societal norms in the general public’s popular consciousness. Like all mainstream media. But congrats or whatever.”

Jasper scratched his head while Ness just stared wide-eyed.

“Anyway,” the goth continued, “Hayden asked who was your greatest ally. I want to know who was the biggest competition. Who do you think was the biggest threat?”

Jasper tapped his chin. “Melissa probably. Everyone knew she’d sweep your guy’s votes, plus she was more strategic and strong than she appeared. I felt like she was the frontrunner the smaller it got.”

“Kalino,” Ness answered. “He was behind a lot of eliminations, including some of my closest friends and allies. He had a lot of power with the flash drives too. I can’t say I’m not glad it backfired.”

Zipporah turned to face Jasper. “You say Melissa, but you made a final two deal with her? And you voted Riley off before her? How does that make sense?”

“She was never my top choice to go against,” Jasper said. “Still, I’d rather compete against her in the finals than not be in the finals. I was trying to give myself options, while never forgetting she’s a threat. It’s why she’s not here and I am.”

Zipporah nodded. She took a seat in his support section. “I guess it worked out for you. Hoping the final challenge does too.”

Weston walked out. He happily ran up, almost tripping, but stopping and catching himself.

“It’s so cool you’re both here!” Weston greeted. “Honestly, I think I’m going to go with Jasper!”

“Not much suspense,” Rhonda mumbled.

“We just had some good times,” Weston said. “Like remember when we were arrested for streaking?”

Jasper blushed. “Yeah, how could I forget.”

“I hope you win it man!” Weston cheered, jumping in Jasper’s support section.

Jasper tried not to smile as his support section started to pull ahead. Ness did smile however, as a familiar face walked out.

“Hey guys,” Seraphina said. “It’s awesome you’re both here and you want it so bad. I don’t think it’s a shock who I’m supporting. Love you Ness.”

She smiled at her former roomie.

“I do want to take a moment to say some things,” Seraphina said. “You guys aren’t giving Ness enough credit! A few of you might even think she’s lucky to be here. Ness? Lucky? We’re talking about the same girl, right?”

A few of the losers laughed.

“Fact is, Ness has been to more elimination ceremonies than anybody but Ignacio,” Seraphina said. “More than him if you count this challenge as one. Jasper wasn’t eligible to receive votes at most, which is an accomplishment. I think surviving them without that safety net is more impressive. Sure, she had to survive three ties...but doesn’t that speak to her game that people were willing to go to a tie for her?”

A few of the losers murmured to themselves, but nobody changed sides. Seraphina winked at Ness before sitting in her section. 

Throwing the Pentagram’s doors open like they were a saloon, Vance sidestepped over to the finalists. 

“Howdy final two,” Vance greeted. “You two should be happier than a tick on a fat hog. Anywho, I’m supporting Jasper. His wins seems mighty impressive. Plus, I owe him a little for that horse fiasco.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Jasper whispered. 

Vance tipped his hat before taking a seat in Jasper’s support section. He and Xidorn fistbumped as Jasper’s section maintained its lead. 

Next to walk out was the last newcomer to have left. Ignacio smiled and waved at the final two.

“Nice to see you both so soon,” Ignacio stated. “Jasper, you’re a great guy. Regardless, it’s not shocking that I’m supporting Ness.”

Blushing, he turned to her. “Ness, you’re amazing. I hope you know that. I’m extremely grateful I met you, and I hope you can win it.”

“Thanks Ignacio,” she replied.

Ignacio took a seat, ignoring the looks from the rest of her support section and even a few in Jasper’s.

Tessa was the next to exit. Holding something behind her, she smiled at the final two.

“Hey you guys,” Tessa said. “Congratulations to both of you. You played really hard! You earned this spot. I won’t lie, I’m glad it’s two people I like.”

Tessa smirked as she turned to Jasper. “I’m supporting Jasper. I’m happy for you Ness, but Jasper’s my bud.”

Ness nodded and shrugged.

“I just want refute a few things real quick,” Tessa stated. “Seraphina made some good points about Ness, but she’s totally underplaying Jasper! Yeah, Jasper was safe at five eliminations. Six if it weren’t for ‘Immunity Gate’. So what? That wasn’t luck! He had to work hard in each challenge. He beat the toughest of us. He made his vote count too. He was a target but had the right connections to shift it. None of you should be doubting him.”

From behind her back, she pulled out a large and glittery sign. In gold and green letters it read, JASPER IS #1. Above it was a picture of his face...mid-sneeze.

“Sorry,” she said. “It was the only photo I could get in such short notice.”

Jasper smiled. “No, I love it. Thanks Tessa.”

She nodded, before taking a seat in his section and holding it high. 

The older twin walked out next, hand in his pocket. He waved at the finalists who waved back.

“Kudos to making it to the finals,” Easton stated. “You both did a lot to get here. You’re both deserving. So…”

From his pocket, he pulled out a quarter. He flipped it, caught it, then shoved it back in his pocket. “My fate in the game was decided by a coin-flip. I think it’s only fitting if that were true of you two, if only a little. I’ll support whoever based on a coin flip. Someone call it.”

“Tails,” Ness blurted, almost covering her mouth. 

Easton nodded. “Heads, Jasper. Tails, Ness.”

The twin pulled the quarter out of his pocket. He flipped it, letting it fall on the back of his hand and covering it. He moved it, revealing the coin to the cameras…

“Tails,” Easton said. “Ness it is! Looks like lady luck is on your side today.”

Ness looked shocked as Easton joined her cheering supporting section. He nodded at her.

In truth, Easton had always planned on supporting Ness; they were teammates for a long time and he respected her. The coin was double-sided and he had another quarter in his pocket that had only heads if Ness was heads. He wanted to convince her that she’d be lucky at challenges..and prank her a little. 

Both finalists eyes lit up as a familiar face flashed them a smile. 

Lita waved and called out, “Hey!”

Ness eagerly waved back while Jasper waved slowly and smiled dumbfounded.

“It’s great to see you both,” Lita said. “I was hoping you two would be the Final Two when I was eliminated. You both are so amazing, it’s not surprising you made it this far.”

Lita turned to Jasper and gave a soft smile.

“Jasper,” Lita said, “You deserve to be here. Know that and own it.”

The brunet boy nodded. 

“I’ll never forget how nice you were to me…but I have to support my girl Ness. I’m sorry.”

Jasper forced a smiled. Tessa and Bethany shared a look in his support section.

Lita turned to Ness. “My roomie, my teammate and my bestie. I said I knew you could do it and you did! You deserve to win for surviving all the mayhem those three nutjobs cooked up. I’m proud to support ya.”

Ness sniffled but smiled. “Thanks Lita.”

The knockout blew her a kiss before taking a seat next to Seraphina. 

The two finalists suddenly tensed. They stared at the entrance of the Pentagram, waiting for someone to exit...but were only met with uncomfortable silence. 

Jasper felt a chill. Turning to his right, he gasped and nearly fell over. Ness did fall over. Cynthia stood there, staring at the finalists. 

“Jasper.”

He gulped. “H-hey, Cynthia…”

“You bested me at the first merge challenge,” Cynthia stated. “Then you told your former teammates to vote me out. You’re responsible for my defeat.”

Jasper tried not to tremble, taking a deep breath. 

“I respect that.”

Jasper sighed as Cynthia sat in his support section. “You’re a worthy competitor.”

“Thanks,” Jasper said, smiling a little. 

Weston glomped his girlfriend, pulling her closer...while everyone else scooted a bit further away.

The last newcomer strolled up. Kalino shrugged at the finalists.

“Heyyyy Jasper and Ness,” he said. “Cool you guys are here. You’re both super awesome.”

Rubbing the back of his head, he said, “You both did a lot of wicked stuff to get here. I’ve been thinking a lot about the future though, and what this experience all means...I guess I want to know what you’ll do if you win. What does the money mean to you and your future?”

Jasper frowned. “Well, I’d use the money for college. I know my brother’s famous, but I doubt any of his money will help me...if he actually has any.”

“What would you major in?” Kalino asked.

Jasper rubbed the back of his head. “I’m not entirely sure yet…”

“I’d still like to pursue my dream of owning a zoo,” Ness admitted. “With a state of the art veterinary hospital dedicated to research and treatment. Of course, that’d start with going to vet school and saving the money to actually create the zoo.”

“And you really believe that’s a possibility?” Kalino asked.

Ness shrugged. “Even with the prize money...it’s still a big dream. It’ll take a lot of hard work, but I really want it! Even if I don’t win, I’m going to try. I made it this far on the show, so maybe it’s not that impossible after all.”

Kalino nodded. After a moment, he sat in Ness’ support section. A few of the other newcomers, including the finalists, raised an eyebrow. 


“We have our cheering sections!” Rhonda announced. 

In Ness’ bleachers, Melissa, Hayden, Griswold, Riley, Easton, Seraphina, Lita, Ignacio, Pascal (and Mandy) and Kalino roared and clapped.

To the right in Jasper’s section, Bethany, Aiden, Diamonique, Frannie, Vance, Xidorn, Weston, Cynthia, Tessa and Zipporah cheered just as loud.

“Whoever got the most finalists would’ve had an advantage in the final challenge,” Rhonda explained. “But it looks like Jasper and Ness are tied with ten supporters each. Oh well. That’ll just make things more intense…”

Jasper and Ness nodded, staring at the hostess intensely.

“Our first challenge tested a lot for you newcomers,” Rhonda explained. “Your social skills, strength, intelligence, accuracy, courage, balance, creativity, vigor, speed, leadership, endurance and teamwork. You’ve done a lot since then, but it’s time to put what you learned into practice! For your final challenge you’ll be doing the Eleven Labors...in reverse!”

“You’ll be given a map, racing from the Pentagram to different stations all over Washington D.C. You’ll complete a task at each station in reverse order. No skipping. For each task you complete, you’ll earn a firework.

"Once you have all eleven fireworks, you’ll race to the Lincoln Memorial and set them off. Then you’ll race on foot back to the Pentagram. First to cross the finish line wins two millions and Total Drama Genesis!”

The newcomers roared again.

“Wait,” Jasper said, “Teamwork is one of the skills, right? Is there a twelfth labor again?”

Rhonda shook her head. “No, but you’re correct that this challenge does involve teamwork! Each finalist can pick up to three of their supporters to join them!”

Jasper and Ness eyes lit up.

“A supporter can do one of the tasks in the finalist’s place,” Rhonda explained. “Once they do however, you’ll have to continue on without them.

"So, who will you pick?”

Jasper started to scan his support section while Ness immediately pointed. 

“If this is my last challenge,” Ness said, “then I have to finish it out with my BFFFLs.”

The two girls shared a smile, running up to the stage and glomping their final roommate in a hug.

“We got this honey,” Lita said.

Seraphina nodded. “We won’t let you down.”

Ness furrowed her brow. “And…Ignacio.”

The model’s eye shot up in surprise. “Me? Are you sure? Griswold is stronger and Melissa-“

Said sweetheart pushed him up off the bleachers. “Nonsense! You’ll be great!”

“I want you Iggy,” Ness said. “You’ve won a couple challenges and we were great partners for the wedding challenge. Please?”

“Well, if that’s what you want,” Ignacio said. “Then I promise to help you win!”

Riley whispered, “Tell her how you feel already Brojack Horseman.”

Ignacio shot her a look as he joined the others, only to blush as Ness tackled him in a hug.

“Jasper?”

Jasper scratched his head, overlooking his supporters. “Um…well I trust Tessa and we won the wedding challenge. Plus, she’s an Olympic athlete.”

Tessa smirked. “Hold my poster.”

She tossed the sign to Xidorn and jumped up, cartwheeling to stage and back flipping next to Jasper. The two high-fived.

Jasper looked back to his supporters. “Then…Cynthia.”

Tessa trembled. “Cynthia?”

“She’s really good at challenges,” Jasper said. “I mean, if she wants…”

He turned around to find Cynthia already standing there.

“I’m taking that as a yes,” Jasper gulped. 

“I’ll enjoy this,” Cynthia replied. She stared at Ness’ group who tried, and failed, to look unconcerned. 

“Oh yeah!” Weston cheered. “You got this babe!” 

Jasper looked back at his supporters. “And um...”

Vance stood up. “Don’t worry partner, I’ll shoulder the burden for ya.”

“NO!” Jasper’s supporters shouted. Xidorn pulled Vance back to the bleachers.

“I’ll just go with two,” Jasper said.

Rhonda shrugged. “Then let’s get this show on the road!”

She tossed the finalists maps. “Your first destination is quite far away, so you’ll follow our old friend to it; the slip and slide!”

She pointed at the giant yellow slide going up the road from the Pentagram.

“We’ve even provided transportation…”

Toby pushed out two familiar toboggans, wheels still poorly glued on them. Jenny poured a can of grease over them. 

“You ready?”

The finalists stared down the gates. Their supporters getting ready.

“Go!”

The two teams jumped off the stage and started racing. 

“You can use these to travel to your first challen-”

The two teams ran past Rhonda, out the gate screaming, “Taxi!”

Rhonda wiped away a tear. “They remembered the loophole.”


“Taxi!”

Both groups stood beside each other at the sidewalk, waving down the street. 

A yellow taxi drove right past Jasper and stopped in front of Ness’ group. In seconds they were off.

“Really?” Tessa asked.

“Ness does have Ignacio and Lita,” Jasper sighed. “A taxi would notice them.”

“This is a busy city,” Tessa reassured. “There are plenty of taxis!”

An entire row of taxis drove right past them. “...Of course.”

As the tried to wave down another taxi, they heard several cars honk. A pink Cadillac swerved through the streets and onto the sidewalk, knocking over garbage cans, dislodging a fire hydrant and almost hitting several pedestrians.

Jasper, Cynthia and Tessa barely jumped out of the way as the pink Cadillac halted to a stop. Diamonique tilted her head.

“Hop in losers, we got a challenge to win.”


In the taxi, Seraphina sat in the passenger seat meditating. Ness squirmed in the back between Ignacio and Lita. 

“Hey Seraphina,” Ness said. “Um, you wouldn’t happen to know-”

“-If you end up winning?” Seraphina replied. 

Ness shrugged and gave a sheepish smile.

“I’ve seen a lot of different outcomes,” Seraphina admitted. “But I don’t know all the specifics. I’m trying not to see too much of the future.”

“Is it not good?” Ness asked.

“More like if I know exactly how you win...I’ll try to replicate it, but it won’t work.”

Ness nodded. Seraphina turned around and winked. “I don’t need my powers to know you can win. And I plan on using them a little bit…”

Ness perked up. “I’ve missed you guys.”

“We missed you,” Lita stated. “We’re so happy for you.”

Ness sniffled. “It hasn’t been the same without you two.”

“Same,” Seraphina replied. 

The three roommates joined hands, each with their charm bracelets on.

Ignacio cleared his throat. “Sorry to interrupt, but shouldn’t we get in the fast lane?”

“No,” Seraphina replied. “We shouldn’t.”


Jasper squeezed the arms of his seat as Diamonique cut through a bike lane. Tessa sat in the back, wearing two seat belts. Only Cynthia seemed unconcerned.

“Thanks for this Diamonique,” Jasper said. “Are you... allowed to do this?”

“You can have three supporters, right?” Diamonique asked. “Well, I’ll be your third.”

“Rhonda didn’t say you couldn’t add one,” Tessa said.

“I meant what I said,” Diamonique admitted. “I wanted one of us to win and I feel like I let you down. Let me make it up to you! You deserve to win and I’ll help you.”

Jasper smiled. “Okay, let’s do this!”

Diamonique threw her hands in the air, letting go of the wheel as it turned everywhere. “Woo!”

“Don’t let go of the wheel!” Tessa screamed. 

“Let’s do this ladies,” Diamonique stated. “Our team needs a name like...Jasper’s Angels.”

“Not sure I like being somebody’s angel,” Tessa replied. 

“I don’t care what you guys call yourselves,” Jasper said. “I’m just glad to have you! How did you even get this car Diamonique?”

“My parents bought it for me,” she said. “A gift to make me feel better for losing.”

“They're on the right,” Cynthia stated.

Lita looked at the window as the pink Cadillac sped up. “Uh, they’re passing us. Girl, you sure about this?”

Seraphina smirked and nodded.

“We’re taking the lead!” Diamonique chuckled. 

“Wait, why are they letting us pass?” Jasper asked. 

“Cause we’re awesome?”

“No, something is-”

Beep…beep…beep…

“Oh crap,” Jasper muttered.

Boom.

The Cadillac spun out of control, crashing into a mailbox as the taxi drove off.

“You knew there were landmines?” Ignacio said.

“I peeked a little in the future,” Seraphina replied. “I mean, it’s Jenny.”


From the Pentagram, Jenny watched with binoculars and giggled. 

“I think I’m going to miss blowing you all up with landmines most of all,” she sighed. 

The Peanut Gallery shared a look between themselves. 


Ness’ team arrived at the first labor, where a large sign saying ‘#11 Endurance' was. Toby stood at a table, with two covered trays. 

“Time to get my first firework!" Ness said. "What do I have to do?”

Toby removed the first tray, revealing a pint glass of frothy...liquid. Chunks of meat floated in it, occasionally squirming.

“Leftovers special.”

“I’m going to regret asking...but leftovers of what?” Ness said.

“Gross dishes from previous challenges,” Toby answered. “Blended cockroaches, bull testicles, ghost pepper wings, fried butter, escargot salad, an actual cup of dirt, kung-fu soup, monkey brains and meat scraped off of Howard Taft High‘s cafeteria floor. All found in the back of the fridge.”

Ness tried not to make eye contact with the glass.

“Ooh, and a little dollop of icing. Black licorice icing.”

Lita, Seraphina and Ignacio gasped, Lita grabbing her heart like she was clutching her pearls.

“Hasn’t there been enough black licorice?” she cried.

“We still have some leftover. It’s the only way to get it eaten.”

Ness smiled a little. Throwing her head back, she chugged her glass back. At first, the drink didn’t move, dripping slowly like molasses...till at once it poured down her throat. It took a solid minute, and a little chewing, but finally Ness finished the beverage. 

“Easy,” she sighed, her face drained of her color. 

“Ness is the bravest girl I know,” Ignacio whispered. Seraphina nodded. 

Toby removed the second tray, uncovering a yellow and green firework. Ness’ team cheered as she claimed her firework and they dashed off.


Next, her squad arrived at Washington’s Southwest Duck Pond. Seeing a camera crew near a boathouse, they made their way and found an attendant with pamphlets containing instructions.

“The leadership challenge,” Ignacio recalled. “So, who are you leading?”

“Eeeee!”

Ness picked up cage of five baby ducklings.“I have to take a swan boat and lead these sweet little duckys back to their mother on the other side. Awww!”

“You even get a duck whistle,” Seraphina said. “This sounds concerning easy…”

“I love it!” Ness exclaimed, putting on a hat shaped like a duck head. With a whistle around her neck, she hoped into a swan boat. Opening the cage, she petted a duckling’s fuzzy head.

“Don’t worry, I’ll reunite with your mama, you cute little-”

“QUACK!”

The ducklings jumped her, beginning to peck and tug on her hair. One who had developed teeth started biting her ear. Ness screamed, but the swan boat was already taking off. Her friends could only watch as it departed. 


Jasper’s team arrived at the endurance challenge, where Toby ‘shared’ his recipe for leftover special.

Tessa tapped the glass mug. The drink tapped back. She jumped, eyes wide almost clutching Cynthia. 

“Even I wouldn’t eat that,” Diamonique admitted. “And eating is like my defining trait. Besides being fabulous.”

Jasper stared at the glass for a moment, before chugging it as fast as he could. When it didn’t start moving right away, he stuck his tongue in the mug and started moving it.

He slammed the glass down when he was finished. 

“How was it?” Diamonique asked.

“Tastes like two million dollars,” Jasper replied. His stomach rumbled. “Come on, we have to pass them.” 

Tessa and Diamonique shared a smile. They cheered as Jasper collected his first firework and they returned to the race. 


Ness groaned as she steered the swan boat back to her team. The ducklings were rough, but too young and small to be that painful. The mother duck on the other hand...well ducks are far more disturbing animals than media would lead you to believe.

Ignacio grabbed Ness, using his sleeve to wipe her bloody nose. “I’m so sorry Ness, one of us should have done it.”

Ness coughed up a feather. “It’s fine. The duck threw my firework at me, so two down!”

She forced a smile while Ignacio lead her back to their taxi.

Lita glared at the lake. “When you win, how about we serve duck for the after party?”


The four newcomers made their way to the next labor, arriving at the junkyard coliseum from the racing challenge.

“The speed test,” Seraphina said. “Makes sense.”

Inside the coliseum were two familiar looking vehicles; a red go-kart and a small, olive-colored punch buggy. 

“The Jubilee Jalopy!” Ness exclaimed. “It’s still in perfect condition!”

The kart’s front headlight fell off.

“More or less.”

“It looks like the course has been stripped bare,” Seraphina stated.

“The challenge says you have to do one lap in under five minutes,” Ignacio stated. 

“Well get to honey!” Lita exclaimed.

Ness nodded. The key in the engine, she made her way to the starting line. A scoreboard had been added to the stadium, and started a countdown as Ness raced her way through. The new course was a shorter, more straight-forward race track than the go-kart race.

“Eeek!” Ness screamed, as barrels started to rain down from the sides. The course wasn’t without its own obstacles however. 

Ignacio sighed in relief as Ness avoided the barrels. It was then he noticed Lita and Seraphina glaring at him. 

“What?”

“When are you going to tell her?” Seraphina asked.

“Like I said when I arrived at Playa Des Losers,” Ignacio said. “I don’t want to distract her. It’s a lot of pressure and she’s got enough of that in the final two. When the challenge is over.”

Lita rolled her eyes. “Fine. You better though or I swear I will-"

Lita was cut off by the honk of a horn. The three teens barely jumped out of the way as Diamonique drove her Cadillac through the coliseum wall.

“We made it!” Diamonique cheered. Her passengers were completely disheveled. 

“Did you really have to drive through the wall?” Jasper asked.

“NO TIME,” Diamonique yelled. 

“Crap,” Seraphina muttered. 

Cynthia exited first and found the rules. “You have five minutes to do a lap.”

“Go-kart racing,” Jasper said. “Easy.”

Jasper jumped in his kart, snapped in his seat belt and burned rubber. He never let his foot off the pedal, not when barrels started falling or oil slicks were blocking his path. 

“Let’s go Jasper!” Tessa cheered.

“Yeah,” Diamonique added. “Jasper and the Uh We Had To Name It are speed machines!”

“How did you catch up so quick?” Lita asked.

Tessa smirked. “Jasper’s a challenge beast. It wasn’t hard. I mean leading ducklings? That’s like baby’s first challenge.”

Lita looked away as Tessa raised an eyebrow.

Ness crossed the finish line. She sighed in relief, but stopped as she saw another kart on the course.

Retrieving a firework from an attendant, her team left as fast they could. 

Soon, Jasper finished his lap with two minutes to spare. 

“That a boy Jasper,” Diamonique stated.

Jasper smirked. “Come on, we might be able to actually catch them!”

Third firework in tow, he lead the charge to the next labor.


Diamonique swerved through traffic, scraping by a city bus.

“Remind me,” Tessa said. “Do you have a license?”

“I lost it,” Diamonique replied. 

She smashed through a hot dog vendor. “Why?”

Tessa glared at the fashionista, picking relish out of her hair.  

“I didn’t lose it for driving,” Diamonique replied. 

“I’m going to regret this, but how did you lose it?”

“I let the kid I was babysitting drive.”

“How old was he?” Jasper asked.

“Six.”

“Really?” 

“...Months.”

“Anyone else concerned?” Tessa groaned. 

“No time,” Cynthia said. 

Jasper pointed ahead, where a speeding taxi was in the fast lane. “I think Diamonique’s driving actually got us close. Can you pass them Diamonique?”

Diamonique gave a dark grin. “I can do better than that!”


“So that’s what Playa Des Losers was like,” Ness said. “Kind of sad I missed it.”

“You don’t have anything to be envious about it,” Seraphina said. “Especially in the final.”

Ness blushed. “Of course! It’d just be nice to have a beach day with y’all.”

“Ooh!” Lita exclaimed. “Let’s do a road trip after the show.”

“Eeeeee!” Ness squealed. “That’d be so much fun.”

“Anywhere but Washington,” Seraphina stated. “I think I’m over this city.”

“You’ll feel nostalgic for it eventually,” Ignacio said. “I know I will.”

“Even it’s traffic?” Seraphina asked. 

“The traffic isn’t-”

All four were jolted as the pink Cadillac rammed into them. 

Diamonique honked her horn, before trying to slam again. The taxi swerved however, causing Diamonique to bump the car in between.

“That’s game she wants to play, huh?” Lita asked. She had grabbed the steering wheel, swerving between traffic and ignoring the driver’s concern.

Seraphina rolled down the window and flipped them off. 

The scatterbrain tried to ram them again, but missed and dinged a van. She groaned. “They’re going to get away…”

“No. They’re not.”

Cynthia tossed off her seat belt. She stood up, gave Diamonique a look, then prepared. Diamonique nodded and floored it. 

“They’re gaining!” Ness yelled.

Seraphina had taken the wheel now, since she was in the passenger seat, and was trying to keep a car’s distance away. It was distant enough from the Cadillac.

Shing.

But not from Cynthia. From her stockings, she pulled out knives. Standing on the trunk of the car, she tossed them and sliced the tires up. Finally, a front and back tire punctured and the taxi was forced to a sudden stop.

Diamonique chuckled, now flipping off Ness’ team. Tessa and Jasper high fived. The Cadillac slowed down just enough to make sure they were seen. Cynthia stared down the taxi.

“Stay down,” she commanded. 

The pink Cadillac sped up again, leaving exhaust as it hurried to the next challenge. 

“There goes our lead,” Ness sighed. “But...it’s not over yet!”

“Exactly,” Ignacio said. “We’ll just get a new taxi and then we’ll-”

“-Forget that!”

The newcomers turned to their driver who was aggressively texting.

“You’re not getting another cabbie in this town ever again!”

“Pssh, you don’t control every taxi in Washington,” Lita replied.

“Well I’m letting anyone and everyone I know to stop giving rides to you,” the driver stated. “I mean what has this show done for D.C.? Releasing dangerous wild animals, stalling traffic, closing streets for challenges, and ruining taxis!”

“Ness is the one who saved this city from that psychotic horse,” Serahina stated.

“And where did that horse come from?”

The four looked down at the ground as the taxi driver glared at them. 

“Total Drama is a plague on this city. Good riddance to it.”

The taxi driver walked off. 

“This went from bad to crap fast,” Seraphina stated.

Ignacio rolled his eyes. “We’ll find another ride. We’re not giving up on Ness.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Thanks guys,” Ness replied. “Maybe we can try an Uber.”

“Smart thinking,” Lita replied. “Anyone already have it?”

No one raised their hands. While Ignacio tried to download the app, Lita tried to flag down a taxi. But as their former driver promised, no taxi would stop for them. 

While it seemed like their opponents would continue to extend their lead, someone shouted out to them. 

“Pardon me, aren’t you the girl who stopped that rampaging horse?”

A well dressed man approached, in a buggy drawn by two brown horses. Ignacio quickly stood between Ness and the horses, but the steeds only bowed at the blonde.

“You are!” the driver exclaimed. “Oh thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” Ness said. “I was just doing a chall-”

Lita elbowed her, but winked.

“That horse was ruining Washington,” the man said. “And it was hurting business. No one wants to be reminded about a demented horse, so no carriage rides. Everyone at ‘The Horse Awakens’ would like to thank you.”

The horses trotted up to Ness and started to lick her face. She giggled and started petting their manes.

“Especially the horses.”

“I’m glad I could help them,” Ness said. “Poor Tinfoil wasn’t an evil soul, just in a lot of pain. I’m glad I could help any horses.”

The two mares nuzzled Ness, who seemed like she’d die with joy. 

Seraphina approached the businessman. “I hate to ask this, but do you think you could do us a favor? Ness here is in a race for two million dollars, but our taxi was…”

Seraphina pointed to the destroyed vehicle. “Taken out. Could we borrow your horses for the challenge? We promise to take good care of them and return them.”

The man scratched his chin.

“Not to mention if Ness wins, your carriage business would get a major publicity boost,” the psychic added. “If not, it’d still be a television appearance on a very anticipated season finale.”

The carriage driver perked up. “Well, your friend does seem like an animal lover. I guess if Aaayla and Luminara are up for it, then-”

The horses neighed, jumping up and down.

“Alright, you got yourselves a deal!”

After being freed from their carriage, Aalya grabbed Ness’ sweater by her teeth and pulled her on her back. Before Ignacio could react, he was pulled on top. Lita and Seraphina got on Luminara.

“What did Vance say?” Ness asked. “Oh yeah; high ho Aayla!”

“Ride like the wind Luminara!” Lita added.

The two mares threw back their head, neighing as their manes flowed in the wind, before riding off.

The carriage driver called out, “May the horse be with you!”


Diamonique crashed into the wrestling arena for the original labor of vigor. 

“Really!” Tessa screamed. “Why did you-”

“NO TIME,” Diamonique screamed. 

“Vigor or fighting spirit,” Jasper recalled. “If it’s here, it’s going to be a fight. But against who?”

“A past contestant?” Diamonique questioned. 

Tessa shook her head. “Maybe Riley because she wrestles or Griswold because he’s muscular, but I doubt it. Both would go easy on Ness. And there’s no else as tough.”

Their answer came quick enough when an iron cage lowered in the wrestling arena. 

Inside was a large black bull. A sign above the entrance read, ‘Toro: Champion Spanish Fighting Bull’. Each of Toro’s large horns had a key hanging from it; one green and one yellow. Two smaller cage descended from the ceiling, both with an over-sized lock and corresponding firework. The black bull bellowed, baring into the newcomers with bloodshot eyes.

“He seems friendly,” Jasper said. 

“The one challenge on this show Vance might actually be good at,” Tessa groaned. “And we didn’t pick him!”

“Who needs him?” Diamonique asked. “If Cynthia has her chainsaw-”

“I don’t leave home without it,” Cynthia replied, already revving it.

A smaller sign lowered from the first. ‘No Weapons Allowed’.

“That won’t make a difference,” Cynthia stated. 

“Hold on,” Jasper said, “We may need your talents elsewhere. I want to try to challenge Toro on my own.”

“Really?” Diamonique asked.

“I’ve faced bigger and scarier animals.”

“If Jasper wants to, then he can do it,” Tessa stated. “He can do it.”

Trying to be silent as possible, Jasper tiptoed to the cage. Realizing what he was doing, the girls moved to the opposite end of the cage to cheer for Jasper, taking the bull’s attention away from the entrance. 

Jasper opened the door and slowly approached the bull. However, the cage door swung shut. The bull immediately swerved, grunting as it charged. 

“Of course the raging bull notices me.”

Jasper just jumped out of the way. Toro left a considerable dent in the cage. The bull chased Jasper around the ring, the brunet boy only just jumping out of the way every time he charged.

“You got this Jasper!” Tessa cheered. “Though, Cynthia’s ready to tag in just incase…”

Jasper glared. He jumped on top of the cage as the bull charged. 

“I’ll admit this show kind of forces your reflexes to improve,” Jasper stated. 

The bull bellowed, his horns trapped in the cage. Jasper smirked, jumping on the bull’s back. Unfortunately this only provoked Toro more. With an unholy moo, he bucked. Freeing his horns from the cage, Jasper screamed as he clung on for dear life. 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Tessa said, “But really channel your inner Vance!”

Jasper nodded, holding up a finger over his lip like it was a mustache. Her ripped his key off the horn, tossing it to Tessa. As the bull continued to try and buck Jasper, she freed his firework.

“I have it!”

“Time to end this ride,” Jasper groaned.

He yanked on the bull’s septum piercing, halting it. Jasper jumped out, slamming the door behind him as the bull charged at him. 


Diamonique drove through the wall of Howard Taft High, straight into an art room. Toby, wearing a black beret, raised an eyebrow.

“You know there’s parking, right?” Toby asked.

“NO TIME!” Diamonique screamed.

“What’s the creativity trial?” Jasper asked. 

“You need to write a list of ten unusual types of cars,” Toby replied.

“That’s not hard,” Tessa said.

“All answers must be creative,” Toby stated. “If they all aren’t, you have to wait five minutes to start again.”

The co-host threw a paper and pencil at Jasper. 

Jasper shrugged and started writing a list; Cadillac, Tesla, Honda, school bus, racecar, BMW, tow truck, Audi, go kart, and an ice cream truck.

In red pen, Toby crossed off everything but ice cream truck. 

Tessa facepalmed as Jasper scratched his head.


Ness' faithful steeds arrived at the wrestling ring. Inside the steel cage, Toro the bull was holding his horns against a sharpening wheel.

“He’s got the key,” Ness said. “Maybe he’ll like me and-”

“No,” Ignacio, Lita, and Seraphina said in unison. Even the horses neighed in agreement. 

“I won the original vigor test,” Lita said, “I have twice the fighting spirit representing my sister from another mister. Ignacio, give my your sweatshirt.”

“You know most fighting bulls can’t actually see red.”

“It adds flair.”

Ignacio sighed but threw off his sweatshirt. Like Griswold, he wore a 'NESS IS THE BEST’ T-Shirt. He turned red as Ness blushed and giggled.

“Let’s do this!” the knockout cried. 

Lita draped the jacket over her right shoulder like a matador. The bull bellowed as she entered, but Lita only responded by holding her head high and raising an eyebrow, as if daring the bull to make her care. 

Flourishing the jacket, Lita taunted Toro as she waved it about. The bull charged. Lita paused for a few seconds, only to discern it was clear the bull had too much momentum to stop, and sprung into action.

“Ole!”

Throwing the jacket directly in the bull’s face, temporary blinding him and slowing him slightly, Lita jumped off bent bars and elbow dropped the beast. With a cry and forced stop, Lita worked quickly to put her legs around the beast.

It was meant to be a chokehold, but the bull’s neck was too wide. Shaking his head, he jumped up and started trying to buck her. With her legs around it, Lita wasn’t being thrown. 

“That all you got beefhead?” Lita asked.

“Punch it in the snout to establish dominance!” Seraphina yelled.

Lita grinned and delivered her right hook straight to Toro’s nose. It send his nose ring flying out. 

Seraphina smirked. “I learned that one from Riley.”

Toro let out a faint ‘moo’ before collapsing on all four. He stuck out his tongue, almost smiling, and his red eyes seemed to turn blue. 

Lita jumped, tossed Ness her key and bowed. Ignacio got Ness’ fourth firework as the girls clapped. 

“If I had roses I’d toss them at your feet,” Ness cheered.

Lita tossed her hair. “I’ll see you at the Pentagram girl. You got this!”

Ness nodded and ran out after the others. 


In a short amount of time, Ness’ group arrived at Howard Taft High. Jasper had just failed his latest list. 

“I love you Jasper,” Tessa said, “but you literally may kill me over this.”

Toby explained the rules Ness.

“Sounds like fun,” she said, taking a pencil and paper. 

Ness made a quick list: bookmobile, moon rover, Delorean time machine, the Magic School Bus, carpet, cartoon, carbon, carnivore, caramel, and Carmen.

Toby never uncapped his red pen. With a thumbs up, he handed Ness her fifth firework and the three took off.

“There goes our lead,” Diamonique whined. 

“I’m sorry I’m choking,” Jasper said. “I think I’ve got it. Give me another shot and then if I screw up again someone else can tag in.”

“It’s your two million,” Cynthia said. “Whatever you want to do.”

When the five minute penalty up, Jasper jotted down everything he could think as counting; ice cream truck, monster truck, dune buggy, limo, bumper car, hearse, flying cars, the Batmobile, KITT from Knight Rider, and Lightning McQueen.

Toby overlooked the list and shrugged. “Flying cars is kind of a weak answer, but I guess the idea itself is creative. Here’s the firework.”

The teens cheered...only to be drowned out by sirens. 

The pink Cadillac was suddenly pulled out of the wall by a tow truck. 

“Uh oh, it’s the popo!” Diamonique cried. “I knew I should’ve driven my little red corvette instead.”

Toby rolled his eyes as the four ran off, just as police officers entered through the hole in the wall. Toby pointed at the door and the officers gave chase. They ran in the hall...as Jasper’s crew hide in lockers. When the coast was clear, they slipped away into the library.

“What do the cops want with us?” Diamonique asked.

Tessa glared. “You drove though two buildings, hit seven cars, break almost every traffic law, ran over a little girl and you don’t have a license.”

Diamonique scratched her head. “Yeah, so?”

“We need a ride,” Cynthia said. 

“We could hijack a school bus,” Diamonique suggested.

“That’ll get the cops off us,” Tessa replied. 

Jasper frowned. “I’m worried a school bus won’t catch up to those horses. We need something different. I know what, but I don’t know how to get it.”

“Leave it to us,” Cynthia said.

“Yeah,” Diamonique replied. “We’re your crew Jasper.”

“We’ll figure something out,” Tessa replied. “What did you have in mind?”

Jasper smirked. “Well, there’s one quick way to avoid traffic…”


Ness’ squad arrived at two familiar skyscrapers. A high-wire connected both buildings, with fireworks at either end.

“Do you want me to tackle this one?” Ignacio asked.

Ness shook her head. “I figure I’ll need your big brains for the intelligence test. The balance test is mine.”

Seraphina raised an eyebrow. “But Ness-”

“This high-wire doesn’t scare me,” Ness replied. “I conquered one during the merge, didn’t I?”

Her two comrades nodded. Ness smiled and started climbing a ladder up to the wire. With a determined glance, she charged. 

Out of nowhere things started to rain down, including an air-conditioning unit, a kitchen sink, an anvil, a bathtub, a cow. Ness didn’t heed it any mind however, simply picking up speed and just avoiding the falling debris. 

Finally, the wire snapped. But Ness jumped, landing on the end platform.

Ignacio cheered. “Woo! Way to kill it!”

Ness held up her firework and bowed...only to trip and fall.

“Ahhhhh!”

“Don’t worry, I got you.”

Ness opened her eyes to find Ignacio caught her. The two stared in each other’s eyes.

“I’ll always try to catch you,” Ignacio said. “If you fall, then I’ll be there to help you up.”

“Ignacio,” Ness sighed.

Seraphina coughed. “Uh…”

The two turned to face the psychic. “I hate myself right now, but we need to get going. We have over half of the fireworks. Let’s keep that lead.”

“Good point,” Ignacio replied, setting Ness down.

Ness pouted for a second, but nodded. “I saw the cops towing their car though. I’m not worried-”

Ness was cut off by the sound of a large chopper. They looked up to see Jasper waving from the pilot’s seat.

“Wait a minute,” Ignacio said. “That’s the police’s helicopter! How’d you get it?”

Jasper and his lovely assistants shared a look. 


“Ahhhh!”

The officers ran away as Cynthia held up her chainsaw, gently stepping closer to them. 

Diamonique rammed into a police car, denting the door. With a swing, she opened it for Tessa. 

Clearing her throat, the Olympian spoke with her best cop voice, “We need a chopper ASAP. We need to evacuate an injured person. Over.”

In five minutes, a chopper arrived. Tessa lied on the ground, eyes closed, while Diamonique stood over her. She placed a weed in Tessa's hands.

When the chopper landed to investigate, Diamonique started telling a long story very slowly to the officers about Tessa’s condition. As she did, Jasper snuck into the copter. Flashing a thumbs up, Tessa jumped up from the ground and flipped over to the chopper. 

Before the cops could react, Cynthia and her trusty chainsaw were on the scene. The four made their getaway as they ascended to the skies. 


“We asked nicely,” Jasper replied. 

Tessa opened the helicopter door. With a smirk, she jumped out and struck a perfect landing on the balance beam. 

Ness’ team shared a nervous look before calling their horses and heading out. At the same time, Tessa did a few flips, easily moving to the end of the high-wire. As a gymnast, it wasn’t surprising she was skilled at balance. Securing the firework, she tossed to the chopper. 

“That’s it for me,” Tessa said. “I’ll be cheering for you Jasper. Remember: you can do it. You’re more amazing than you think.”

Jasper smiled and nodded at his friend. She waved goodbye as they flew off. 


Flying across the streets, Jasper reached the next test first. Jenny waved at them from a shady looking alley. With no where to park the copter, Jasper descended down on a rope ladder.

“Taking to the skies,” Jenny said. “Clever.”

“Thanks,” Jasper replied. “So, what’s the courage test?”

Jenny motioned to behind a dumpster; the two wooden coffins from the original challenge laid there. 

“You have to crawl in the coffin and can’t leave for five minutes,” Jenny explained. “If you do, it’s another five minutes before you can try again.”

“You’re going to dump a bunch of creepy stuff on me before closing the lid, aren’t you?”

Jenny nodded enthusiastically. 

Jasper laid down in the coffin. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Kinda surprised you didn’t have Cynthia do this one,” Jenny said. She grabbed a bucket that was shimming away from her.

Jasper shrugged. “After hearing the rules, I don’t see why. She can’t do it any faster. Plus, I’ve faced a a serial killer, an eldritch demon, and my lame older brother. What’s scarier?”

Jenny stuck out her tongue, emptying a bucket of spiders, worms, and scarabs before closing the lid. She set a time and stomped her foot. 

A couple minutes later, Ness’ gang arrived. 

Ignacio shuddered at the coffin. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you still have those.”

“Wish me luck,” Ness stated, hoping in the coffin before anyone could argue. 

Jenny shrugged, dumping another bucket and slamming the lid as Ness cried, “Scarabs? Again!”

Another few minutes later, Jenny lifted the lid on Jasper’s coffin. He seemed mostly unfazed.

“Really?” Jenny asked. “Nothing?”

Jasper sighed. “I don’t think they realized I was in there. Didn’t know the difference between me and a wooden coffin.”

Jenny giggled as Jasper rolled his eyes. He grabbed his firework and then took off into the sky. 


The next challenge, the accuracy test, proved to be straightforward. An archery contest. The challenger would stand behind a line with a bow and arrow and have to hit the bullseye on a target.

Jasper’s strange ability to be average seemed to take effect; he usually hit the target but not the bullseye. Finally though, he managed to just hit the bullseye. 

The chopper was off as Ness’ squad arrived. The jinx had a handful of bug bites, but was all smiles. 


While Jasper was out doing the challenges, Diamonique had taken over as pilot. She frowned.

“You guys know my memory isn’t always the best,” she said.

“Yeah,” Jasper replied. 

“Remind me; does E mean Enough Fuel or Empty?”

Jasper’s eyes grew wide. The fuel gauge moved to E.

“Why do we keep letting you drive?” he asked. 

“Look!” Diamonique cried. “The intelligence test!”

“We need to park the helicopter before-”

The chopper’s blades started to get quieter as they slowed down.

“NO TIME!” Diamonique screamed. 

Diamonique threw on an emergency parachute, scooped up the two in her arms and threw herself out the door. 

“AHHHHHHHHH!”

“Relax Jaspy,” Diamonique said. “I grabbed the parachute!”

She pulled the chute...and a sticky note came flying out. Jasper grabbed it.

“Reminder: Replace the parachute.”

“Okay, now you can start screaming.”

“Thank you. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The helicopter had started to spin out control, whirling down fast. 

“We’re as good as dead,” Diamonique cried.

“I can’t die,” Cynthia stated.

“Sorry you were involved Cynthia,” Jasper replied.

“No, I can’t die. You two...not as fortunate.”

The three crashed through a skylight. Luckily, it was a skylight to Paradise Beach Hotel. The three landed in the hotel’s fake sea. 

Jasper emerged, spitting out water. “Well...that was extremely convenient.”

“Yeah,” Diamonique said. “We managed to survive with barely a scratch. What are the odds?”

“Poor,” Cynthia added. 

Diamonique scoffed. “Psh, stupid helicopter couldn’t even stop us! Nothing can!”

“You might not want to tempt fate,” Jasper said.

He pointed above where the helicopter was about to crash through the skyline. The three newcomers started swimming, just as the copter broke through…


Ness and company arrived at the intelligence test. Two giant frames held a puzzle with sliding pieces that was clearly meant to form the finalists’ faces. 

“Jasper’s puzzle isn’t done,” Ness noticed. “What happened?”

Ignacio pointed behind them, where the roof of the Paradise Beach hotel was on fire. “Probably whatever that is.”

“Sucks for them,” Seraphina said, “A lead is a lead though.”

Ignacio jumped off the horse, helping Ness down. Ness winked as he rolled up his sleeves. “Alright, time for my labo-”

Seraphina was already at the puzzle. She closed her eyes and stood silently for a second. The next second, she opened them. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she moved her hands quickly, like they moved independent of her. Sliding pieces left and right, it was as if they were moving on their own.

Ness and Ignacio blinked. After they did, the puzzle was finished. 

“Woah,” Ness said. “That was…”

“Bewildering and inexplicable,” Ignacio stated. 

Seraphina shrugged. “I’ve been practicing my abilities at the loser lodge. The point is, you can claim your tenth firework.”

Ness glomped her friend. “Thanks Seraphina. You’re the best.”

She smiled. “That’s you Ness. Now hurry, I don’t think even a helicopter crash will keep Jasper down. He’s not one to be underestimated.”

She and Ignacio fistbumped before the two set off, leaving Luminara with Seraphina. She waved goodbye as they rode off. 


The strength test was next, but like the archery test was not all that challenging. At a local gym, the competitor would have to deadlift a barbell. Deadlifting, a powerlifting exercise, is where the barbell is raised to the hips. The competitor would have to hold the deadlift for a minute. 

They would do this three times, each with a little more weight on the barbell. The amount lifted would be based on a proportion of the lifter’s overall weight, so neither competitor would have a direct advantage by simply being taller. 

While Ignacio was more physically fit, Ness decided she would try the challenge first. 

“I may need your help for the final labor,” Ness argued. Really though, she just wanted to spend more time with the hunk. 

While she almost dropped the barbell a few times, she actually succeeded in the task and retrieved her second to last firework. Ignacio carried her on his shoulders as they raced to their next destination.

“Lincoln Memorial,” Ignacio stated. “We’re almost there Ness.”


At the same time, Jasper’s crew wasn’t that far from the puzzle challenge so they arrived shortly after. Diamonique, having bested a puzzle for the intelligence labor at the first challenge, volunteered. She made up considerable time, finishing it in only a few minutes. 

Diamonique squashed Jasper in a hug. “You got this! Returnees all the way!”

“Thanks Diamonique,” Jasper said. “It means a lot to me, your help and your friendship.”

“I’ll see you at the Pentagram after you cross the finish line,” she replied. “TEAM JASPER RULES!”

Cynthia and Jasper were ready to leave, but had a problem.

“We don’t have a ride,” Jasper said.

“I got an Uber,” Cynthia replied. 

An old-timey looking car arrived. The driver, a girl with two long purple braids and a lavender ombre, honked her horn until they entered her car.

“Wait a minute,” Jasper said, “Aren’t you the maid from the hotel?”

“Heehee,” the driver cackled, slamming on the gas once they were in. “I was, but only for the show. I just wanted some extra screen time. I’m hoping to be a character in one of these fanfics eventually.”

“You mean on another season?” Jasper asked. “That would be a problem, for lots of reasons.”

The driver rolled her eyes. “Forget it. Not enough kids are aware of the fourth wall these days, I swear. Back in my fanfiction…”


Ignacio and Ness arrived at the Lincoln Memorial. By now the sun was setting. 

On the left side of the memorial were eleven stands to attach fireworks on. The right side had a similar set-up.

“Seems simple enough,” Ignacio stated. “Now how do we get the last firework?”

“It’s the social skills test,” Ness said. “Hmm...there!”

She flagged the butler from the hotel. 

He bowed. “Lady Ness, Lord Ignacio. Your challenge is simple. Get eleven pedestrians to sign a petition for you to win the show. When you do, I’ll give you your last firework.”

“Sounds easy!” Ness said. 

Taking a clipboard from him, she ran to the first person she saw.

“Pardon me sir, would you be-”

The man continued to walk by. Ness ran up to another lady, directly blocking her.

“Miss, could you sign-”

The woman shoved Ness aside and continued walking. 

“This sucks,” Ness sighed.

She looked up when she felt Ignacio’s hand on her shoulder. She smiled. 

“It’s my turn to help you.”

Ignacio stepped forward, and tossed off his shirt. Flashing his model smile, he struck a pose that revealed his twelve pack. Passing cars stopped to stare at him and created a pile-up. 

“Anyone want to sign something for me?”

A mob of squealing people flocked to Ignacio, knocking Ness to ground. The jinx shrugged and tossed her friend the clipboard. Ignacio tossed it back almost immediately. 

“Thank you everyone for your help. Now if you excuse-”

“I didn’t get to sign it!”

“Wait, aren’t you that model from that show here?”

“I want a photo!”

“I want his belt!”

Ignacio gulped. “Ness, go ahead and-”

“BACK OFF!”

Ness cried out as Aalya the horse jumped in front of Ignacio. Flaring her nostrils and giving a neigh, the horse feigned jumping at the crowd.

“Another deranged horse!” 

“Every mob member for themselves!”

The crowd ran away. Ness jumped down, giggling and hugging Ignacio. 

“Thanks Ness.”

“Of course! I admit your sexiness has perks, lots of perks, but I’m tired of people attacking you. They need some self control.”

“It’s worth it to help you win.”

The two smiled at each other. Ignacio gulped, but grabbed Ness’ hands.

“Uh, Iggy?”

“Ness, maybe this isn’t the time to say this...but I can’t deny it anymore. I don’t know how you feel and however you do is fine, it won’t hurt my feelings. Okay? But um...you know I think you’re the most amazing girl ever. Amazing person! You’re so kind and optimistic, super thoughtful and very clever. Plus you’re cute. Like really cute.”

Ignacio was redder then all the blood that was flowing to his cheeks. Ness stared at him. 

“What I’m trying to say...what I’ve been trying to say for a long time...is that I like you. I mean really like you. Specifically...I mean...will you go on a date with me?”

“Ignacio-”

“-You don’t have to answer now! Maybe this isn’t, I mean you can say-”

Ness jumped on top of Ignacio, knocking him to the ground. She planted a kiss on his lips. 

“Wow,” Ignacio gasped.

“Shut up and kiss me already!”

Ignacio shrugged and the two began to make out passionately. 

Their horse raised an eyebrow. 

At that moment, Jasper’s Uber arrived. Completing the strength challenge was easy enough, and their driver was all too happy to drop them off. As Jasper ran to the butler, he raised an eyebrow at his rivals but said nothing.

“Hot,” the Uber driver swooned.

Aayla whinnied, stomping her hooves around Ness and Ignacio. The two parted for air to see Jasper trying to flag down pedestrians.

“Ooh,” Ness exclaimed. “I should probably get going.”

“Yeah, probably.” 

Both jumped to their feet, blushing but smiling. Ness ran to the left, setting up her fireworks. When they were all ready, the butler handed her a match. Eleven yellow explosions lit up the sky. 

At the Pentagram, Ness’ cheering section went wild. Griswold and Riley shared a kiss while Lita and Seraphina hugged. Melissa and Mandy squealed. In Jasper’s section, Tessa and Diamonique shared a nervous look. 

“You’re free to finish the race,” the butler said. “But on foot, alone.”

Ness turned to Ignacio, who had gotten on Aayla’s back.

Her new beau blew her a kiss. She giggled, pretending to catch it. 

“I hate to leave, but I’ll see you.”

“Good! We can pick up where we left off.”

Blushing and laughing to herself, she ran down the street. 

Ignacio smirked, shouting, “You’ve got this!”


“Would you sign this petition?”

The man didn’t look up at Jasper as he walked by.

Jasper groaned. “Come on! Somebody sign this! Please! I’ll do a little dance, I’ll eat garbage, whatever you want! This means a lot to me.”

Nobody even turned to look at him, if they even heard him.

Jasper shook his head. “Guess being in the finals can’t change I’m invisible.”

Jasper opened his mouth to ask another person, but was drowned out by the sound of a chainsaw revving. 

“Sign this. Or else.”

Cynthia grabbed the clipboard from Jasper. She turned to the people, holding it out with one hand as she waved her chainsaw in the other. 

She stared down a man. 

“Please, please! I have a wife and two kids that I-”

She held out the clipboard. Once he signed, she shooed him away. In a couple of minutes, she had scared eleven people into signing. 

“Here,” Cynthia stated, throwing the clipboard to the butler. “Get us the firework.”

The butler nodded and handed Jasper his final firework.

“That was awesome,” Jasper said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you Cynthia. You’re like an angel or something.”

“I get that a lot. Now light it up.”

Jasper smiled and nodded. Eleven green explosions brightened the night sky. 

Now it was Jasper’s section’s turn to celebrate. Tessa and Diamonique high-fived, Vance, Xidorn and Weston jumped up and down. Even Zipporah smiled. 


Jasper smiled as his last firework went off. “Thanks Cynthia! I’ve got a show to win! See you at the finish line!”

“Good luck,” she replied. 

His Uber driver and former maid clapped. “Get to it kid! Make sure the author actually finishes your story!”

Jasper wasn’t sure how to respond, so he nodded as he started running. 

The purple girl turned to the butler. “Come on Tameron! I want to see how this ends.”

Tameron sighed, but joined the girl in his car. “I suppose I am interested in seeing Lady Rhonda’s reaction.”

The purple driver turned to Cynthia. “Want a ride?”

Cynthia nodded and got in the backseat.

“Gotta say, I love your work,” the driver stated. “I generally like my chainsaws on fire, but you clearly didn’t need it! Got any tips?”


Jasper sprinted as fast as he could. Eventually, he eyed Ness. She was panting heavily, but wasn’t slowing down. 

She didn’t hear her rival arrive, but finally noticed him when he pulled ahead of her. 

Ness tried to pick up the pace, but tripped over a penny. She faceplanted against the concrete.

“Sorry,” Jasper called.

Ness shot up. “No, I’m not letting my luck take me out!”

She dashed as quick as she could and was hot on Jasper’s heels. 

The two, both breathing heavy, said nothing. Their eyes met however and gave each other a direct message; it’s not over till it’s over


By now, all the losers had returned to their supporting sections. They chatted among themselves, the supporters answering any questions from what had happened during the challenge. All of them kept an eye on the finish line. 

Rhonda sighed to herself, sitting on the edge of the stage. Toby and Jenny joined her. 

“You okay?” Toby asked.

“Yeah,” Rhonda replied with a smile. “This was fun. Wasn’t it?”

“It actually was,” Jenny admitted. “You know maybe America’s done with Total Drama, but it doesn’t mean you have to be.”

“What?”

“You could go back to Zac,” Toby said. “The Canadian audiences loved you. Co-host with him. He won’t admit it, but he’s lonely and would love the company.”

“What about you two?” Rhonda asked.

“We don’t need Total Drama,” Jenny said. “If Zac wants us to cameo or even help Mana, we could. I suspect I’ll be in high demand after my leading role here though.” 

“I don’t really care what I do after this,” Toby added.

Rhonda hugged her two co-hosts. “I don’t know, I’m not sure I can work for Zac again. I don’t want to continue Total Drama without you two anyway. Maybe this is just where it ends for us. I can be proud of that.”

“I see them!” 

Everyone stood up. Given she was the tallest, it wasn’t a surprise Bethany saw them first. Soon, both finalists could be seen making a mad dash for the Pentagram’s gate. Both finalists booked it as fast as they could, running side by side but a fair distant apart. 

“They’re neck and neck!” Hayden cried. 

“It looks like Jasper’s pulling ahead,” Frannie said. 

“No wait, Ness is!” Easton added. 

“Now Jasper,” Melissa gasped. “No Ness, no Jasper...no…”

“It’s toooooooooo close,” Kalino said. 

“They’re almost here,” Rhonda gasped. 

Both finalists reached the finish line.

“And the winner of Total Drama Genesis is…”













































































































































The jinx’s foot just crossed the finish line before her opponent’s. 

“….Ness!”

For less than twenty seconds, Jasper smiled. Only a few onlookers noticed. The camera caught it in a blink or miss moment. For less than twenty seconds, Jasper thought he crossed the finish line first.

Then he heard his opponent’s name. His face looked like he was wounded. 

Ness squeed harder than she had ever before. She couldn’t stop running and ran straight into the stage. She didn’t care, jumping up and down as new adrenaline kicked in.

Jasper watched Ignacio scoop her up in his arms. They shared a passionate kiss. Lita and Seraphina, her BFFFLs, reached her next and glomped her. Riley and Ness shared a high five that could have broken the sound barrier.

Melissa jumped up and down with her friend. Griswold rustled her hair and threw her over his shoulders. In minutes, her support section surrounded her. They cheered and tossed her into the air. Ness crowd surfed over them, thanking everyone. She was crying tears of joy.

Jasper didn’t feel Tessa’s hand on his shoulder. He noticed his support section migrate towards her. Diamonique forced a smile at him. Cynthia nodded. Vance tipped his hat. Xidorn shrugged. A few of his supporters just walked by, not even acknowledging him. 

Tessa said something to him, trying to be uplifting. He didn’t hear, but he nodded. 

The only thing he did hear was one his supporters as they walked by. 

“Sorry you didn’t win James.”

The rest of the newcomers surrounded Ness, all congratulating her. Jasper watched everyone smiling and cheering, lifting Ness up in the night sky like she’d ascend to heaven. 

He watched Ness live the fantasy that only a few minutes ago he thought was a dream he would make real. 


“Congratulations Ness!” Rhonda announced. “You are the winner of Total Drama Genesis! And, a two million dollar prize.”

Rhonda presented a silver suitcase stuffed with green bills. 

“I can’t believe it!” Ness cheered. 

“Believe it,” Rhonda replied. 

She handed Ness the suitcase. Ness jumped, holding it up like a trophy.

That’s when a pigeon ran into the case and knocked it out of her hands. It fell to the street. 

“Quick,” Griswold said, “Somebody grab it before-”

A semi ran over the case. Then a taxi. Then a kid on a tricycle.

Ness forced a smile. “Maybe it’s still-”

A city bus drove into it, sending it fall into an open sewer lid. Lightning then struck it. The glow of a fire could be seen coming through the sewer.

Ness jaw dropped.

“Yeesh,” Rhonda said. “Glad that wasn’t the real prize money.”

“It wasn’t?”

“We figured something like that would happen,” Rhonda admitted. “Especially if you won. It’s just for show; nothing in it but Monopoly money. You’ll get the real check sometime later.”

Ness beamed and hugged Rhonda. Rhonda went stiff, before eventually returning the hug. 


Jasper sat down on Ness’ support section, watching everyone else talk.

“Hey.”

Jasper looked up to see Lita standing over him.

“Oh. Hey.”

“You were really amazing out there.”

Jasper forced a smile. “I guess.”

“Tessa told me all about it,” Lita replied. “You gave that bull almost as hard a time as I did.”

“Now that’s something worth seeing,” Jasper said.

Lita laughed. “I’m sorry you didn’t win.”

“It is what it is.”

Lita nodded. “I know the show is ending, but that doesn’t mean we can’t hangout sometime, right?”

Jasper’s eyes briefly lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah, it’d like to. Maybe somewhere more fun or homely and less haunted.”

“Yes! I mean, cool. Do you have a cellphone?”

“No?”

“Oh.”

“But I have a home phone. Can I give you my number?”

Lita pulled out a pen and wrote her number on Jasper’s hand. Jasper smiled for a moment, blushing. 

“I can’t wait!” Lita said.

“Me either.”

Jasper wanted to say more, but Lita walked off. He watched her go, returning to her former roomie and squeezing her shoulders. Jasper nodded, returning to his thoughts and people watching. 


“I guess this is it,” Jenny said.

“Yeah,” Rhonda replied. “This was our beginning, our genesis. Now it’s our ending. Not unless some random deus ex machina happens, but there’s no way that’ll-”

Ring. Ring. Ring..

Rhonda pulled out her cellphone. “It’s the producers?”

“Probably telling us to wrap it up,” Toby guessed.

Rhonda answered the call. “Hello? Yes. Yes. We were just...wait, what? For real? An even bigger budget? Bigger crew? But I thought you said…WHO? Seriously, they want to appear? I mean...yeah we’re in.”

Everyone was watching Rhonda as she put away her phone.

She only said, “What The Heck?” 

“What did they want?” Toby asked.

“They renewed us,” Rhonda replied. 

“Renewed?” Jenny said.

“Please tell me that means there’s a second season?” Ness asked. 

“It does,” Rhonda said.

She suddenly burst into a smile. “It does! Total Drama has an official second season!”

Everybody clapped.

“Not complaining,” Xidorn said, “but how did this happen? Why did they change their minds?”

“Apparently someone really famous heard about our show,” the hostess explained. “They want to compete next season.”

“Who?” Pascal asked.

Rhonda smirked. “Imagine the most famous teen you can think of. Even more famous than that.”

Only one newcomer knew who Rhonda was referring to, but he chose to keep that to himself.

“So,” Jasper said, “will there be any veterans next season?”

Tessa smirked. “After all, we aren’t newcomers anymore.”

Rhonda shook her head. “Sorry, the network wants a new cast. Reality shows are like that now.”

“Darn,” Weston said, “I really wanted to do more Total Drama.”

Easton patted his brother’s back. “It’s alright bro, you’ve got a college to go to.”

“True,” Weston said. “I guess I can’t do school and Total Drama...but it’d be fun.”

“Maybe a future season,” Rhonda replied. “You were all great...that reminds me! I have a couple of things to give out.”

A few newcomers gave looks.

“The website was running a poll,” Rhonda answered. “Fans voted for their favorite newcomer. The winner of this poll will receive the Fan Favorite Award...aka 10,000 dollars.”

The newcomers gasped. 10,000 dollars wasn’t two million, but it was nothing to scoff at.

“It was a close race,” Rhonda admitted. “But somebody pulled away. Congratulations...Riley!”

“Say what?” Riley asked.

The other newcomers clapped as Riley took the stage. Rhonda shook her hand, giving her a little plaque with a star. 

“I don’t get it,” Riley said. “Why did I win the Fan Favorite Award?”

“For being awesome!” Griswold cheered. 

“Amen to that,” Tessa said. 

Riley laughed. “Thanks to all the dudes who voted for me! You guys are awesome. If I do get some monkey butlers I’ll name some after the fans! Woooo!”

She cheered, receiving a hug from Tessa and a kiss from Griswold.

“Finally,” Rhonda said, “one last piece of business to take care of. Ness?”

The jinx smiled. “Yes?”

“As the winner, it’s my honor to present you with this.”

She held out a familiar tray. On it was a single coffee cup that barred her name. 

“The final coffee cup.”

Ness squeed again. She ran to the stage, taking the cup in her hands and chugging the drink. After a moment, she stopped and raised an eyebrow.

“It’s empty.”

“Yeah, we ran out of coffee. But we still had some cups.”

“I’ll treasure it forever,” Ness stated. 

“Speech!” Easton shouted. Most of the former Fizzled Fireworks started shouting along. 

Ness nodded. “All I can say is thank you. Thanks to my roomies, to my friends, to my teammates...to my new boyfriend.”

She snorted at this. Riley playfully shoved her elbow at Ignacio who tried not to blush.

“I couldn’t have done this without you guys,” Ness said, “but I know I totally earned this! Goes to show that anyone can do it.”

Raising her cup, she added, “This is for all the Total Drama fans!”

Jasper forced a smile he didn't feel. He started clapping. Everyone joined in. 

“Alright, now that the show is over,” Riley said, “I think we all know what comes next. It’s time for the world’s realest after party!”

The newcomers cheered.

“After party?” Rhonda asked. “We didn’t plan-”

“-I did,” Riley said. “We’re not sleeping till the sun comes back up! Let’s kick it! To the Paradise Beach Hotel!”

Diamonique shifted her eyes. “Um, you might want a different venue.”

Ness smirked. “Anyone up for spending one last night in the Pentagram?”

“I could do a seance,” Seraphina suggested. “Maybe we could speak to the real owner’s ghost.“

“Please don’t,” Lita sighed. 

“This party ain’t about the location,” Riley said, “it’s about the people! We’ll raid Playa Des Losers for the food and supplies, then set up shop here. Let’s do it!”

“Wait a minute,” Rhonda said, “we don’t have the hotel for-”

She was silenced by the newcomers hollering as they ran off. 


As they walked back to the Pentagram with their supplies, the newcomers were abuzz. Riley chatted with Tessa about what she’d do with her new winnings, starting with a trip to Mickey D’s. Tessa rarely was without a smile that night.

Griswold and Easton followed, the two bros playing a game of foosball. Griswold held Riley’s hand the whole way there. 

Weston and Xidorn were discussing the latest reboot. Vance walked with them, putting his arms around his two deputies. Bethany joined in the conversation when it turned to the newest Star Wars series.

Kalino followed the group, but said nothing. He seemed deep in thought. 

Zipporah and Hayden talked as they pushed trays of food, though it quickly devolved into an argument. Diamonique and Frannie trailed them, Diamonique sharing her plans on how they’d tackle the buffet. Frannie nodded eagerly, while her pet lemur Ziba rolled her eyes. Ziba wondered how humans could claim to be evolved after this show. 

Ignacio carried Ness in his arms. He was trying to ignore Lita’s teasing, having already ignored Riley’s, and was rather happy to finally be with Ness. Amanda Picklestein was telling Ness about a hotel exclusive to reality show winners they had to visit. Pascal tried not to cringe too hard as both short girls talked about their wins.

Seraphina walked with her BFFFLs, admiring her friendship bracelet on one hand while carrying her tarot cards in the other. 

Cynthia and Aiden were helping Melissa transport the rest of the sweets she’d been making while at the Pentagram. They’d be bigger than the actual buffet. Cynthia saved the biggest cupcake for her boyfriend. He gave her a big rat he found that she killed and skinned into a pair of oven mitts for her best friend.

Melissa interrupted Ness and Mandy to present Ness with a surprise; a cake congratulating her win, more beautiful than most wedding cakes. Ness almost dropped it as she took it, but surprisingly caught it after. Ignacio suggested her luck maybe changed. Ness overlooked her friends and boyfriend and smiled. 

In the back, Jasper walked by himself. He was forcing himself to smile while memorizing the phone number on his hand.

That night would be one of the funnest parties they’d have since the show started.

All the couples, Riley and Griswold, Cynthia and Weston, Aiden and Melissa, Mandy and Pascal, Ignacio and Ness, shared a number of slow dances...and make out sessions.

Rhonda decided if they were crashing the Pentagram they’d keep the cameras rolling, adding some bonus features to the DVD. Her and her co-horts Jenny and Toby didn’t spend much time at the party, busy planning their next season.

Even they couldn’t ignore this party however, and were soon celebrating like everyone else. Any remaining staff, even the maid and butler, we’re invited. 

In leftover supplies, Riley had found a lot of unused fireworks. 

“We have to set them off,” the bro stated. 

As the fireworks prepared to go off, Ness had a request. 

“A picture!” she said. “We have to do a group picture. This might be our last chance!”

Rhonda took the picture as the twenty-two newcomers stood on the roof of the Pentagram. She would snap the picture just as the fireworks went off.

“On three, say the show’s name. One, two, three…”

“Total Drama Genesis!”

Elimination Table[]

# Contestant 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 26 27 28
1st Ness IN IN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN SAFE LOW SAFE IN SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN LOW SAFE SAFE WIN SAFE SAFE LOW WIN
2nd Jasper IN IN WIN WIN OUT RETURNS IN WIN SAFE SAFE WIN SAFE SAFE WIN LOW SAFE WIN LOW WIN LOSE
3rd Ignacio IN IN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE LOW WIN WIN WIN LOW SAFE SAFE IN SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN LOW SAFE WIN OUT
4th Melissa IN WIN SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE LOW WIN WIN WIN IN SAFE SAFE WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE LOW OUT
5th Riley IN IN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN LOW SAFE SAFE IN SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE OUT
6th Vance IN WIN SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN IN SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE LOW SAFE LOW SAFE OUT
7th Tessa IN IN WIN WIN LOW OUT RETURNS IN SAFE WIN LOW SAFE LOW SAFE WIN OUT
8th Kalino IN WIN SAFE LOW WIN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN IN SAFE LOW SAFE LOW LOW SAFE OUT
9th Weston IN WIN SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN IN SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE OUT
10th Lita IN IN WIN WIN SAFE LOW SAFE WIN WIN WIN LOW SAFE LOW IN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN OUT

11th

Diamonique IN WIN SAFE OUT RETURNS IN SAFE SAFE SAFE OUT
12th Xidorn IN WIN SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN SAFE LOW SAFE WIN WIN WIN IN SAFE SAFE OUT
13th Griswold IN IN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN LOW SAFE LOW IN LOW OUT
14th Cynthia IN WIN LOW SAFE WIN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN IN OUT
15th Seraphina IN IN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN LOW SAFE OUT
16th Easton IN IN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN SAFE OUT
17th Pascal IN IN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN OUT
18th Aiden IN WIN SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN LOW SAFE OUT
19th Frannie IN WIN SAFE SAFE WIN WIN WIN SAFE OUT
20th Hayden IN WIN LOW SAFE WIN WIN WIN OUT
21st Zipporah IN IN WIN WIN SAFE SAFE OUT
22nd Bethany IN WIN OUT

KEY:

Teams:

  •      This contestant was on the Molting Eagles.
  •      This contestant was on the Fizzled Fireworks.
  • An individual color shows this contestant made it to the merge, or individual phase, of the game.

Ceremony Status:

  •      Won the challenge, earning invincibility. 
  •      There was no elimination ceremony this chapter, so they were in no danger.
  •      Did not win, but was safe at elimination.
  •      Was in the bottom two or three at elimination, but not eliminated.
  •      Was voted off the show.

Unusual Ceremony Status:

  •      Had immunity at elimination, which unlike invincibility, is earned by means other than winning the challenge.
  •      Was eliminated automatically through a challenge.
  •      Was eliminated as a result of a tie in the votes causing a tiebreaker.
  •      Was in danger due to a tie in the votes causing a tiebreaker, but was not eliminated.
  •      Was voted off due to a special voting procedure.

Finale Results:

  •      Lost the final challenge, becoming the runner-up of Total Drama Genesis.
  •      Won the final challenge, becoming the winner of Total Drama Genesis.

Trivia[]

Warning: There be spoilers here.

General 

  • This story won Featured Story on January 1, 2021. Thank you to Toad, Bruno, Mana, Zac and Gideon for supporting the story for featured story!
  • A special thank you to Reddy for making these amazing character images!
  • A thank you to Gideon for his help with grammar, contributing ideas, along with his contributions to the tropes page! (And letting me 'borrow' so much from LTDI xD)
  • Since I started my first story I had started planning or coming up with characters for this story, about four to five years ago, even before Total Drama: Revenge of The Island. A lot of last minute changes were made before the first chapter though. 
  • Originally this story was going to be a sequel to Total Drama What The Heck? and would've featured Chris as a host as well. The original title would've been Total Drama: Oh My God
  • The title of Total Drama Genesis was chosen because Genesis means 'the formation of something' and this seaon is the formation of my new canon and in-story the new version of America's Total Drama. 
  • Very early on, this story was originally going to be about a murder mystery going on at the same time of the show. This was inspired by the show Bones, which takes place in Washington, which is ultimately why Washington is the setting. This was scrapped very soon because I wanted a story more focused on the contestants and the competition. Washington ended up staying as the setting for plot reasons.
  • There were several scrapped/alternate versions of characters planned for the story including, The Awkward Sweetheart, The Lovey Dovey Girlfriend, The Lovey Dovey BoyfriendThe Lightning Jock, The Cold StrategistThe Child Prodigy, The Pokemon FanaticThe Creepy Girl, The Fire EaterThe Girl In Mad Love, The Mysterious GuyThe Ex ClownThe Master Villain, The Actress, The Comic Lover, The Magical Girl Parody, The Swimsuit Model, The Television Critic, The Cool Kitty, The Introvert, The Extrovert,  The Country Boy, The Boy and His Dog, and The Most Popular Girl In School. They were scrapped for various reasons.
  • I had tried to make this cast more racially diverse, since I felt my previous casts had been predominantly white or were until I changed characters' races. I also wanted this cast to have at least some LGBTQ representation, as I realized it was somewhat lacking on the wiki. 
  • If you have finished reading the story, you can read more information about my decision process while writing on this blog.

Chapter 1

  • The title is a reference to Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.
  • Credit goes to ZacGideonSpace, and Dyna for grammar fixes along with suggestions on how to improve flow and jokes!
  • Since Total Drama has split first episodes into two parts, I decided to split mine into three so I could have enough time for everything I wanted. I felt like a lot of premieres of other shows, such as Survivor, are longer than usual (about 3 TD episodes in length) as well so it could be justified.
  • The story was designed so readers without a strong knowledge of Total Drama could still enjoy it, which is why a lot of the opening gives some backstory on the show. The exact fate of Total Drama is left ambiguous because I wasn't sure if it was going to be in the same canon as Total Drama What The Heck? and if not I didn't want to name a specific last season of TD, since it would become outdated when a new season of TD starts. 
  • This story later become tied into the same canon as Zac's story Total Drama Tides and related seasons, with Tides somewhat serving as a prequel. I edited in a reference to a Canadian version and assume that the company that owns the American rights is international, with an American and Canadian branch. 
  • The crazy subway lady is a reference to Mana's character Anamaria
  • Rhonda Stoppable, one of Frannie's nicknames for Rhonda, is a reference to Ron Stoppable from Disney's Kim Possible. Ron Stoppable is known to fail, so it is a fitting nickname for Rhonda. 
  • Vance's horse's name, Tinfoil, is named and based off the Daffy Duck's horse in the Looney Tunes short 'Drip Along Daffy', which maybe a parody of the Lone Ranger's horse's name. 
  • Many of the initial interactions this chapter were meant to be foreshadowing of future interactions.

Chapter 2

  • Griswold and Seraphina's scene was originally going to happen in the first chapter but was switched to the second chapter for length. 
  • Show jumping was meant to be a bigger deal in an early draft, when the show was a sequel to WTH? and Pascal wouldn't have been the only show jumper. Show jumping was also thought of as a way to explain any characters submitted by winners of any contests who were intially from a different story. It ended up being more tied to Pascal's story instead. 
  • I imagine Rhonda chose to compete at the Pentagram to make up for not being able to host at a 'more exotic' location...along with it being owned by the same company that runs the network, making it cheap and free advertising. 
  • I had cut confessionals from Weston and Melissa, along with another Kalino, for the sake of length. They didn’t add much that wasn’t too funny, obvious or addressed.
  • The full list of roommates are;
    • Aiden and Hayden
    • Bethany and Zipporah
    • Cynthia and Melissa
    • Diamonique and Frannie
    • Easton and Vance
    • Griswold and Xidorn
    • Ignacio and Jasper
    • Kalino and Pascal
    • Lita and Ness (later joined with Seraphina)
    • Riley and Weston
    • Tessa and Seraphina (till Seraphina is kicked out)
  • Initially, Bethany was Weston’s roommate but I changed it to Riley because I felt like she didn’t have enough focus in the first two chapters. Griswold was intitially Easton's roommate but was changed to Vance because Vance would've been funnier. 
  • I added a confessional for Seraphina and reworked a few of her lines after this chapter was posted, to better express her character after readers found her actions in the next chapter strange.
    • The confessional here is based off Seraphina's original confessional in chapter three, which was edited a bit as well to reflect the new confessional. 
  • Another cut scene was Melissa offering Zipporah a seat, and Zipporah hard-core ignoring it.
  • I tried to hint early on Kalino was smarter than he seemed, including him noticing the cups, convincing Bethany to join the alliance, and finding the flash drive. 
  • The cups were originally meant to serve as a call back to WTH? when this was a sequel to that fanfiction.
  • In hindsight, I would've tried to make the teams more random, such as less equal gender divisions, to show it becoming more randomly selected. 
  • Originally, The intial Fizzled Fireworks were the Molting Eagles. The Molting Eagles didn't have a name for a long time, as I wanted something that sounded crummy but American based. The closest I had settled on was 'The Rotten Apple Pies', but  it felt too long, which along with  plot reasons (see Chapter 3 Trivia), lead to a change. 
  • ​Even older drafts revealed I planned on calling The Molting Eagles by 'The Exploding Cherry Trees' and the Fizzled Fireworks by 'The Soaring Eagles' at some point. Other team names I had were The Shiny Pennies, The Revolutionary Fireworks and The Patriotic Baldies
  • The Brady Bunch being in the mob was based off a skit from The Amanda Show called When Bradys Attack.
  • Jenny's line "What a glorious day!" is a reference to Mad Max: Fury Road.
  • The vulture that attacks Jenny and Toby is based off a similar incident in their original story Total Drama What The Heck?

Chapter 3

  • Initially, I was going to base all of the show's challenges on Rhonda's speech like the labors were. I scrapped that when I found it limiting my ideas.
    • The idea to refer to the labors as trials is based off an idea from Gideon, who expressed in a blog to make the re-imaging of the Wheel of Misfortune in The Legend of Total Drama Island parallel to the Labor of Herakles. 
  • Griswald and Aiden had a scene during their challenge, which would've revealed Jenny and Toby kept the vulture that kidnapped them as a pet, but it was cut for time. 
  • I had always planned for a tie-breaker labor for this challenge. 
  • Rhonda including a water challenge to show skin is based off a similar moment in The Legend of Total Drama Island.
  • Originally, the final labor was going to force the contestants to have to unlock a crate containing their team's mascot. The crate would have had eleven locks (one for each team member), whose keys would be hidden among a hundred placed in crab traps hidden at the bottom of a pool. Teams would dive in and have to find them. Some scenes, like Ness actually opening one and Igancio's swim suit getting torn while trapped in a crab trap, were planned. It was cut for time. 
  • Ignacio pointing out the flaws in the original idea of the challenge was added later to the chapter, based on Gideon pointing out the same logical issues with the challenge. 
  • The Fireworks were always planned to be losing. but win in an 'unfair'. Other ideas include;
    • With the scrapped challenge idea, the Eagles would've finished while the Fireworks would still have seven locks left. The Fireworks would realize Rhonda said they 'could' use the keys but didn't have to, so they busted the locks off instead.
    • When the Fireworks name was to be The Molting Eagles, the current Eagles would have had a name based off apples or apple pie and a mascot that was a gross apple pie. They'd lose because the Eagles mascot, a featherless eagle, would eat the apple pie and since the Apples didn't have a mascot, they'd lose.
    • Finally the Fireworks were going to scare the Eagles mascot, a featherless eagle, away which wouldn't happen to them because they had an inanimate object as a mascot. Long story short, this is why the team names are what they are. 
  • The idea that the winning team would vote off a member of the losing team was thought of before the idea was used in Sprinklemist's now cancelled story Total Deception Island and in canon's Total Drama All Stars
  • If both teams had failed to bring their mascots, Rhonda would have made it a double elimination where each team would vote off the first member of the other team's group. 
  • This chapter was edited after it was originally published, rephrasing some things. The biggest is that Rhonda's elimination speech now has a quote from Gideon's The Legend of Total Drama Island; the quote was included since I felt it really fit the story and Bethany's elimination. 
  • Bethany was always planned to be the first out, and was designed to be opposite from a typical first out. 
  • The votes were;
    • Bethany: Easton, Igancio, Tessa, Seraphina, Pascal, Jasper,
    • Hayden; Riley, Ness, Griswold,
    • Cynthia; Lita, Zipporah,
  • For fun, and based off an idea from the now deleted Total Drama: Boney Island, I made an alternate version of the story where the Fizzled Fireworks lost the first challenge instead. The Eagles would vote off Lita, seeing her as a threat for her challenge performance and attractive appearance.

Chapter 4

  • The title is a reference to the song Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) by the Eurythmics
  • The sedatives used in the sleeping challenge came from the use of sedatives for the Awake-a-thon in The Legend of Total Drama Island
  • There were several cut scenes, though most were saved for later chapters. The only scene that was entirely cut happened during the feast. Toby would realize Jenny wasn't giving sleeping pills to the Eagles because of her friendship with Hayden, so he did the the same for the Fireworks due to his friendship with Riley. Both would secretly add extra sleeping pills to the other's food. I cut it for length and because I felt Jenny and Toby had enough focus this chapter. 
  • Frannie refering to Ignacio as 'Iggy' was based on how Zac refers to Ignacio. 
  • Pascal's rant against Mandy Picklestein was based on a similar speech done in an episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy that was my signature for a while, but done more over the top.  
  • I was hesitant to reveal Melissa being Muslim and Aiden's reaction given some of the then recent events, but I decided to go ahead with the plot since I had planned it from the start. The reason the show takes place in Washington D.C. is because of this plot. 
  • Cnythia followed Melissa to be a supportive friend in story. Out of story, I couldn't imagine Cynthia sleeping or closing her eyes so I had her eliminated by leaving the area.
  • Originally, Tessa was going to make a remark about diversity and representation after Melissa ran away, but I cut it for time and I felt I didn't want the story to be even more political.  
  • Jasper wasn't mentioned at all in this chapter as a joke on how forgetable he is.
    • I had originally planned to have a counter or other measurement to show how the teams fared but that would mean referencing Jasper, so I decided against it. 
  • The votes were;
    • Aiden; Cynthia, Melissa, Diamonique, Frannie
    • Diamonique; Kalino, Vance, Aiden, Xidorn, Weston, Hayden
  • While Aiden should have been in the bottom two for recieving more votes, Rhonda had Kalino in there to add dramatic effect. 
  • In every draft, Diamonique was always the second eliminated. 
  • In the alternate version, Ness wouldn't have gone to the kitchen with Lita. Thus, she wouldn't eat the cupcake, wouldn't have an allergic reaction, and wouldn't get a cone. This means the Fireworks would lose. Seraphina would have been more anti-social with Lita's elimination, which would help Pascal convice the others to vote her off. 

Chapter 5

  • Credit goes to Reddy for the chapter name!
  • I actually used a random generator to select pairs, with the exception of Tessa, Jasper, Easton, Ignacio, Ness and Griswold (after Weston was randomly selected for Volleyball, I had him compete against Griswold and Easton). I did this because I wanted to try and have new and or different team interactions.
  • I had planned to use more traditional sports like basketball or football...but I ended up going a different route for some reason, perhaps due to a lack of idea in how to write those.  
  • The Paradise Beach Hotel and its indoor beach was based off a real hotel I saw on TV, along with being a reference to Total Drama: Paradise Beach.
  • Frannie's joke about needing to chill was a reference to a similar joke by Puck.
  • I had originally planned for Aiden and Melissa's conflict to go on longer but I felt it was out of character for Aiden not to adress it, wanted to not be as political and felt readers wouldn't enjoy the story going on for so long. 
  • Pascal's plan for winning in the roller debry was suggested by a friend based off an idea from a Phineas and Ferb episode. That's likely the show Pascal got the idea from. 
  • The votes were;
    • Jasper; Pascal, Tessa, Griswold, Easton, Riley, Seraphina, Ness, Ignacio, Zipporah,
    • Tessa; Lita, Jasper
  • In every draft, Jasper was always the third eliminated. 
  • Rhonda's comments after Jasper was eliminated was to poke fun of how reality shows often treat contestants, not acknowledging them or their impact. 
  • I try to have the narrative of Total Drama Genesis be unbiased, i.e. not using too many adjectives to describe the contestants actions, reactions or feelings, so the readers can interpret the story and not be too influenced in their opinions of the contestants. The only exception is Jasper, who is so unmemorable even the narrative gets his name wrong. 
  • In the alternate version, the Fireworks would still lose. They'd vote off Ness, considering her a weak link and tired of losing challenges. 

Chapter 6

  • The title is based off the phrase 'made you look', a phrase used by kids who trick other kids to look when there isn't anything there.
    • The original chapter title was "What To Expect When Expecting An Invasion", but I felt it wasn't that funny and tried to find a new title, but struggled for along time before deciding upon this one. 
  • This chapter took an extremely long time to get out and went through several rewrites including starting over from scratch. I wasn't satisfied with everything going on for along time, but I do enjoy this chapter a lot more now. 
  • Seraphina wasn't going to have that psychic moment, but I added it since everyone wanted more psychic abilities.
  • As implied in the story, Seraphina's great great great aunt did die in an concretration camp during German occupation.
  • I discovered a cut scene over a year after this chapter was posted, probably taking around this place. Here, Seraphina would explain how she channels her psychic powers and demonstrated it through a camera. The photos it produced would have been backstory on Lita, Ness, and shown Seraphina's relative. I have no idea why I cut this scene, perhaps I was planning on saving it for later, or I thought it was too magical for the series, or it was too much focus on the roommates. In hindsight, I wish I had included it to expand on Seraphina's powers. 
  • The Invaders are designed to be similar to the Xenomorphs from the Alien franchise. Though some their plot elements is a mix of Plan 9 from Outer Space and Invasion of the Body Snatchers
  • Seraphina describing Pascal as like pink vomit is based on a similar comment from Zac on Pascal.
  • Ness' favorite band One Rejection, is based on a group parodying One Direction created by Toad
  • Hayden's boyfriend is named after Mroddy or Zac.
  • The director Cornelious Puckerschmidt is a reference to Puck
  • Weston developing a crush on Cynthia was planned from the start of the story. Congrats to Zac for correctly predicting this development! 
  • Some of Xidorn's lines during his fight against the Invaders are quotes from Jaws and Jurassic Park.
  • Though not stated, its meant to be implied that Tessa working with Kalino was due to their shared connection in an alliance with Pascal. 
  • The votes were;
    • Tessa; Lita, Ness, Griswold, Ignacio, Seraphina, Easton, Riley, Zipporah, 
    • Lita; Tessa, Pascal
  • Tessa was originally concieved as a different character and went through several elimination plans. She had always been planned for eliminated seventh, but ulimately she was moved up for other contestants to have more development and other reasons. 
  • Tessa's elimination was meant to be a more realistic version of a recurring trend of snobby antagonist whose openly mean to everyone; while these other characters contiune to stay despite being awful people, Tessa is eliminated for it.
  • Tessa was meant to originally have a harsher elimination; she would have caused Lita to have a bigger break down, causing everyone to decide to forfeit the challenge (a playground obstacle course) to vote her off. Tessa would've tried to do the challenge herself and almost win but lose, have her head shaved and be voted off. I changed it because I wanted Tessa's story to be more meaningful. 
  • Tessa's possible redemption arc was to give her a better, more hopeful ending. 
  • In the alternate version, the Fireworks still can't beat Cynthia at this challenge and lose again. They vote off Zipporah for feeling like she doesn't contribute to the team. 

Chapter 7

  • The chapter's title is a play on the fairytale Beauty and The Beast, which was also chosen given the chapter's focus on romance.
  • I tried to give the Eagles more focus this chapter, as I felt like their focus last chapter wasn't as big as I intended.
  • I didn't plan for romance to be as big a focus this chapter, but plots needed to move along. I consider this chapter's theme to be romance and social skills in general. 
  • Seraphina and Pascal's scene was originally removed from the chapter, but I felt there wasn't enough room to establish this conflict next chapter and it worked best here, so I retroactively added it back in. 
  • Helga Potter and the Sorceror's Schnitzel was a reference to Toad's character Helga, who usually reads parody titles, and a ship she is in (SchnitzelShipping). 
  • Zipporah originally only recited the first poem. I added a second poem to give the character more lines since she was popular with some readers and it was her boot episode. 
  • Thanks to everyone who gave suggestions for foods to be part of the feast! I appreciate it <3
  • Aiden and Melissa weren't going to hook up this soon but I reasoned their wasn't any reason for them not to at this point, so I made them offically a couple (and tried to lampshade how silly it is for characters not to hook up other than its 'too soon'). 
  • The names Pascal confuses Zipporah for are references to other goth characters on the wiki, Estrella and Lana.
  • The votes were;
    • Ignacio: Zipporah, Pascal
    • Zipporah: Griswold, Lita, Seraphina, Ness, Ignacio, Easton, Riley, 
  • Ignacio was simply in the bottom two because I couldn't think of who else would be, and figured Zipporah probably thought he was mainsteam. 
  • Zipporah was originally planned to be fourth out but I felt the reasoning behind Zipporah's elimination wouldn't hold up if Tessa was still around, so she was spared for a chapter. 
  • Zipporah's elimination was meant to realistically portray how a stereotypical goth contestant would fare in a reality show or 'social game' as its called; their anti-social attitude and negative personality would make them unlikable.
  • In the alternate version, the Fireworks are creamed even harder, without Lita and Seraphina's appetite and Ness getting the black licorice, along with just fewer members. They remember Jasper exists and eliminate him on Pascal's urging. 

Chapter 8

  • The title is a pun on the song Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO. It was chosen for fitting in with Ignacio's 'moment' in the chapter. 
  • Rhonda's remarks about Canada are a reference to her time on Total Drama Tides
  • Frannie's comments on Diamonique's elimination was a result of me realizing their would be a tie if Kalino was honest, so I acknowledged that and decided to use it to cause conflict. 
  • Mandy wasn't originally meant to ever appear on the show, but after I wrote the line referencing her I knew she had to show up. 
  • The point of the leaders making decisions was mainly an excuse to have the teams have to choose leaders for the challenge. It ended up leading to a lot of the strategy for the challenge, which I enjoyed even if it made the challenge long. 
  • The familiar looking old lady is in fact the old lady in the metro from the first chapter. Due to a strange amount of like and interest in her, she made a cameo and may become a recurring character. 
  • An original plan for this chapter was for Jenny and Toby to give special advantages to Hayden and Riley retrospectively. It was cut for time and feeling too out of place.
  • Subconsciously I basically ripped off a similar challenge from Total Drama: Revenge of the Island. But mine had more nudity in it, so whose the real winner? 
  • The votes were;
    • Aiden: Xidorn
    • Hayden: Kalino, Frannie, Vance, Cynthia, Weston, 
    • Vance: Melissa, Aiden, Hayden
  • Hayden was always planned to an early out, around sixth or seventh out. I decided on sixith out to have more time for the next boot's story.
  • I had tried to set Aiden up as the obvious boot to have readers assume he was going home and surprise with Hayden's elimination. Vance should have been in the bottom two, but once again Rhonda changed it for dramatic effect. 
  • I hadn't realized Aiden and Hayden's names rhymed until I wrote their first scene together in the first chapter, so Rhonda realizing it here was a joke on that. 
  • In the alternate version, the Fireworks are outnumbered, and without Lita to inspire Ignacio's plan, lose again. By now Tessa and Riley have become friends, and Tessa reveals her alliance with Pascal. Already catching on he's slimey, the Fireworks would vote him off. 

Chapter 9

  • The title is a play on the Jack London novel The Call of the Wild
  • I just have to say I love Kalino’s justification to Frannie for lying to Vance; its twisting advice that is true (you can’t always be honest) but in a wrong way. The scene was designed to foreshadow Frannie’s eventual fate. 
  • The Tyson's Corner Center is an actual mall. I have no idea what its actually like there (other than a few facts mentioned in the story) or if it has any of the shops I listed.
  • Ness' reference to Cody Simpson is based off the character Angel's love of the singer in Total Drama Tides.
  • The president Kalino is digused as is never stated to avoid dating the joke, and to leave it up to reader interpretation; pick your president, whether its Obama, Clinton, Trump or even Taft. 
  • Riley’s conversation to Griswold about love and relationships was made not only to apply to him, but to the various romances and overall relationships in the story, working similar to the 'long term stories' or themes of a Survivor season. 
  • The coffee was chosen to be raspberry flavored, based on ‘blowing raspberries’, which reminded me of Frannie.
  • The votes were;
    • Frannie: Kalino, Aiden, Melissa, Cynthia, Weston, Vance, Xidorn
    • Xidorn: Frannie
  • Frannie was always planned to be betrayed by Kalino due to their alliance. Originally, Frannie would have made a joke about juggling alliances to one of her teammates, not realizing she was revealing her own, and causing her elimination. I changed it for it to have more impact for her character and the story overall.
  • Frannie was always going to go out before the merge. She originally was going to go as soon as fourth or fifth out, but due to Tessa’s elimination being moved up and Zipporah’s inclusion, her elimination was pushed back.
    • She was also originally going to go home before Hayden, but I wanted more time to wrap up her story, establish Xidorn’s relationship and establish herself in the alliance. I also figured it might make more sense for her to be a part of voting Hayden off.
  • In the alternate version, Mandy wouldn't be at the Pentagram now that Pascal left. With only five members, the Fireworks can't get enough items and lose again. Tessa tells everyone to vote her off, feeling guilty for how she acted at the start. 

Chapter 10

  • The chapter title is based off the phrase a 'crime of passion'. 
  • Originally this challenge was going to happen next chapter, but it was switched to earlier to allow more set up for things to come. 
  • This chapter was to have additional scenes, but they were moved to the next chapter just because this chapter was getting so long. 
  • Its implied that the flashdrive Xidorn found was in the potted plant Pascal was searching, before Seraphina spotted him. 
  • There were clues to imply that Seraphina was the original rumor starter in the previous chapter, such as her being outside at the same time of the alliance meeting, the first mention of the rumor coming from the Fizzled Fireworks and Seraphina's lines before the Eagles' elimination. 
  • Ness' comment that it feels like its been a year is a joke that at the time of this chapter' posting, its been almost a year since the first chapter was originally published. 
  • Shout out to Zac for helping me work in the calander plot more naturally than it originally was. 
  • The billiards scene was really only added to avoid having two Xidorn themed scenes after the other. It was fun comic relief. 
  • The Aiden, Cynthia and Weston scene was added thanks to a suggestion by Zac, to reference Cynthia and introduce elements of the story sooner. The Cynthia and Weston portion I had written a while ago and was looking for a place to include. 
  • The hotel the contestants visit for the challenge is named after the one from Easy, Breezy, Beautiful and based on what I thought it would be like before it was rundown.
    • The hotel's name was also meant to be a hint at the celebrity guest judges, who are from the same story.
  • The president's apperance was thought as a good contiunation of the joke from the previous chapter. I also thought Aiden meeting the president would be a good send off. 
  • Rhonda saying 'make it work' is a reference to the catchphrase of Tim Gunn from Project Runway
  • Thank you to Reddy for allowing me to use Chip and Flutina for this challenge!
    • The idea for the fashion challenge, hotel and the cameos came from Reddy's suggetion that are fics should crossover since we both had hotels. 
  • The votes were
    • Vance: Cynthia, Aiden, Melissa
    • Aiden: Xidorn, Vance, Kalino, Weston
  • Once again, Vance should have been in the bottom two, but Rhonda switched it up for dramatic effect. A couple getting split up was too dramatic to pass up, for her or me. 
  • Aiden was not always planned to be out this early. In early drafts he made it to the merge, in one draft even being the first out at the merge. Other drafts had him being the last out before the merge, and recently he was planned to survive two more chapters before the stories changed. 
  • I didn't want to eliminate Aiden sooner, as I felt I still had some things I wanted to do with him and ideas for him, but I realized he had a pretty complete story. I needed more time to develop future stories fully and saw potential for his elimination to cause new plots, so I moved up his elimination to allow room for that. 
  • In the alternate version, the Fireworks feel hopeless...but like canon, Riley designs the outfits. The Fireworks win for the first time, ending their seven challenge long losing streak. The Eagles vote off Vance, finding him the weakest line (and kind of annoying).

Chapter 11

  • The chapter title is based off the phrase 'if the shoe fits'. For some reason, this is one of my favorite chapter titles. 
  • As lampshaded last chapter, the shopping trip to the mall was suppose to happen after the mall. I simply forgot and moved it to this chapter, which worked in hindsight, because events would have been out of order otherwise. 
  • Lita's mall food addiction is based off my own...
  • The conversations between all the Fizzled Fireworks where all meant to happen last chapter during the sewing, but were pushed back because I felt I didn't have enough room last chapter. Ironically, it made this chapter so long. 
  • Seraphina was originally going to confess to Griswold, but he was having his moment. I decided Ignacio would work just as well in the scenario.
  • Originally Pascal was going to date Ness to be safe, reluctantly dating her after Kalino's suggestion. I scrapped the idea, as it made Pascal too unredeemable. The alliance and promise were designed to still serve as Pascal betraying her. 
  • Jenny's 'plan' as mentioned in the snow chapter was this chapter's challenge. It took longer than I expected, partially due to moving up the fashion challenge, but was always meant to happen. 
  • Rhonda's package, with the letter and the manatee, is a tie-in with Total Drama Tides and the events that happen there. Here working on a Canadian season and being popular there is also a reference to her time on Tides. 
  • The split line is to indicate a 'halfway' point for this chapter, as its roughly twice as long as a usual chapter. Rhonda explaining the episode could be longer to the show before them having issue was meant to explain this a bit...
  • All the questions in 'Whose Really On My Team' were designed for readers to know the answers too, with the exception of a few. All the answers to the questions will be known by the end of fanfic. 
  • When Aiden was here, he'd originally have questions for the challenge, most notably about his dead mom.
  • In-story, I imagine the challenge was originally going to just 'Dump The Chump', but Jenny added some 'modifications' to it. Out of the story, the reverse is true. I added the mini challenge segments to add some variety, instead of just having Jenny ask questions.
    • Originally the 'Dump The Chump' segments were to be based off games, Riley and Griswold competing in a 'whack a mole' segment, where Griswold was the mole. 
  • The audience members were Julie and Nellie, having a cameo as my most favorite and popular characters from my previous series. They were designed to have a 'Statler and Waldorf' like role for the challenge. 
  • There were going to be more 'Dump The Chump' moments, but I didn't have enough secrets for more rounds and the chapter was running long. I also used all the Eagles as pairs, and would have to repeat them. 
  • I was reluctant for the final task to be a gross food eating challenge after having done it before, but I really enjoyed the idea and stuck with it.
  • I hadn't planned on all the dishes having animals either, but it happened. The 'protein' reference is based on canon character Lightning's preference for protein.
  • The idea of having to eat your own vomit was originally just an insult Seraphina made to Pascal during the challenge. The joke didn't work, but inspired the rule.
  • I thought about continuing the black licorice joke by having the last dish contain it, but then I thought no one could eat it, so I decided against it.
  • I was a bit concerned with the fake out of who won the challenge, after last chapter did a similar thing, but I found it too funny not to do.
  • The reward of a dinner under the stars is based off the reward Killer Bass earned after winning the cooking challenge in canon. It was inspired by the use of it in The Legend of Total Drama Island, which offers it as a reward twice.
    • Originally the reward was going to be another reward inspired by LTDI, but was moved to next chapter when I realized it worked better there.
  • The original votes were:
    • Easton: Seraphina, Ness, Lita, Pascal
    • Ness: Riley, Griswold, Ignacio, Easton
      • The votes in the revote were:
        • Ness: Riley, Griswold, Pascal
        • Easton: Lita, Ignacio, Seraphina
  • Ignacio decided he was closer to Easton and the other bros, explaining his choice in voting for Ness initially. 
  • The original tiebreaker was going to be a random selection method, such as a spinner and a wheel with all the eligible Fireworks' faces on it. I changed it to be more dramatic and thematic. 
  • I had the newcomers assume tiebreakers were in place, even comparing it to canon or 'past seasons', to surprise readers when that wasn't true. 
  • Originally there was dialogue where Rhonda explained tiebreakers had to be pre-selected before the episode’s main challenge took place for legal reasons, but I cut the line for slowing down the suspense and not being too relevant. It still applies in story however. 
  • One idea I had was Seraphina calling dibs on a firework through her vision, but Pascal would shove her aside and claim it himself. Seraphina would have predicted this and it would turn out she would’ve tricked Pascal into picking the losing firework. I decided against, for a more tension based ending. 
  • I had originally planned for Pascal to make the merge, but I was conflicted on which characters I wanted to bring. Ultimately, I came up with the idea of Pascal's elimination and enjoyed the idea of him causing his own downfall, so I eliminated Pascal sooner. 
  • Mandy and Pascal hooking up was meant to either seen as a happy ending for Pascal after continuously failing, or a punishment by being tied to a chatterbox, depending on the reader's interpretation. 
  • In the alternate version, the four remaining Fireworks (Easton, Griswold, Ignacio, and Riley) are so close and not secretive they dominate against the ten Eagles, who are having a lot of in-fighting. Diamonique convinces the girls, who convince their boyfriends and friends, to blindside Kalino, who she doesn't trust. 

Chapter 12

  • The title is based of the phrase 'In God We Trust', the official motto of the United States. It was the original phrase for Chapter 13, since that challenge was originally more team-focused, but changed when the challenge changed. I used it for this chapter since it fit the trust challenge. 
  • Originally since was going to be the extreme sports challenge from Island, based on I enjoyed the original challenges used in The Legend of Total Drama Island. Ultimately though I changed because I wanted to do the trust based rewards, have more team interactions, and already did a sports themed challenge.
  • The dangerous food-making challenge and the blind sledding challenge were all from the original trust-building challenge in Total Drama Island, with slight tweaks for this instance.
    • When the challenge was extreme sports, this challenge was a combination of the Island's first challenge, one thousand foot shark diving, and the sofa skydiving part of the extreme sports challenge. It also had the faulty parachutes from Pakithew Island's first episode. I wrote the whole scene out and may include it in a 'What-If' blog, since I really enjoyed it but couldn't use it. 
  • The Kung-Fu soup is from Total Drama Action, where the winner of the Kung-Fu movie challenge enjoyed this soup, made by the losers of first part. I wanted to reference the franchise a little more than Island, and enjoyed the concept of the soup, so I used it. 
  • The duels were originally one on one when this was the extreme sports challenge, and the platform was an earthquake simulator. I wanted a dueling challenge so I made it two on two.
    • On the one on one duels, Ignacio would have lost to Melissa after having another wardrobe malfunction, which happened in the shark diving. 
  • Easton beating Weston in the duel was meant to give him a victory, while Weston got his own victory by outlasting his twin. 
  • In the extreme sports challenge, it would have been a moped race where one person drives and the other defuses a bomb. Other ideas was polo while riding animatronic dinosaurs, based on the polo challenge in LTDI. It was scrapped for being too long and that I had trouble understanding the rules of polo. 
  • To save time I originally was going to have the Eagles win both parts, Rhonda upset they couldn't do the third extremely dangerous part. It felt a little too lacking in suspense, so I changed it.
  • The reward of secretly picking your teammates rewards is based off The Legend Of Total Drama Island, where this was the reward for the trust challenge. I loved the idea, but originally didn’t think I would be able to use it with any story impact, before coming up with an idea.
    • Jenny lampshades this in-story. 
  • The votes were:
    • Ness: Griswold, Easton, Riley, 
    • Easton: Lita, Ness, Seraphina, Ignacio
  • As someone may point out, technically a coin flip is not a fifty/fifty split; whichever side the coin is face up when it's launched has a fifty-one percent chance of being face up after launch. Ignacio probably is unaware of that, but didn’t look at the sides anyway. Easton probably is aware of it, given his love of math, but doesn’t see reason to argue it. 
  • Easton's place was always around tenth out, sometimes a few places earlier depending on the other characters eliminations.  
  • Initially I planned to have Easton and Weston's conflict be so bad that whenever they faced against each other in a challenge, they'd fight so much that both teams would lose that round. This would lead to the Fireworks eliminating Easton for being a liability and build good will with the other team. While part of Easton's conflict with his brother was how Pascal pushed for his elimination previously, this plan was changed for no longer working with story. 
  • At one point I considering having a team swap, introducing a third team and changing up the dynamics. I scrapped it since the original team dynamics were important to future plots, feared people would have trouble keeping tracking of who was on what team, and it felt pointless to have for only a couple of chapters. The third team would have been white, making all the teams have the colors of the American Flags.
    • The swapped teams were:
      • The Boisterous Bullmooses: Cynthia, Lita, Easton, Weston
      • The Fizzled Fireworks: Griswold, Seraphina, Xidorn, Kalino
      • The Molting Eagles: Ness, Riley, Vance, Ignacio,
    • The Bullmooses would lose their first challenge as a team, forcing a tie vote between Easton and Weston. The tiebreaker would be a challenge that Weston would win. 
  • In the alternate version, the Fireworks are so close they kill it at the trust challenges. Weston is eliminated for supposedly fighting with his brother so much, but really Diamonqiue spearheads it to keep the girl's numbers up.

Chapter 13

  • The title is a pun on ‘Days Of Our Lives’, the title of a long-running American soap opera.
  • This chapter was designed to serve as a kind of book-ending to the team phase, call backing to the first challenge, where the closer team loses due to a cheap trick and having the same reward as the first challenge, but the roles flipped.
  • Kalino’s reference to the extra vote as a ‘game changer’ is a reference to Survivor: Game Changers, a season of the popular reality show that was criticized for its overuse of advantages like that.
  • Originally Xidorn was going to win a video chat with a loved one, and decide to split his time between the rest of the newcomers. I changed it to make it more drama-filled and character developing.
  • It was then going to be that Xidorn who would have to choose between ten thousand dollars or the video chats from loved ones. I changed it to Weston, since I felt it would be obvious which Xidorn would pick.
  • The idea behind Weston’s reward comes from something similar in Big Brother Canada 2. There houseguest Ika Wong won a prize, where she could take five thousand dollars if she shredded her follow houseguests letters from home.
    • I had wanted to save this idea for a reward in a future story involving a different character, but I liked the idea and it helped bring some character moments I wanted, so I decided to use it here. I may still use it later...
  • The whole point of the video chats was basically to have Seraphina have a confrontation with her mother.
  • Ignacio is Chilean, and speaks to his mother in Spanish, the national language of Chile. Chilean Spanish is very different from other kinds of Spanish, I did use Google Translate, so there are probably errors. Feel free to correct me if there are. I'll provide a link to the original translation here eventually.
  • Seraphina was going to have a seance this chapter will all the newcomers, but too much was going on, so it was scrapped.
  • Another scrapped plot point before the challenge was the contestants finding about the secret treasure in the hotel from Ms. Holmes.
  • The maze constantly shifting was inspired by Pahkitew Island, from Total Drama’s canon six season (or 5.2 if you want to be ‘technical). The island was robotic, allowing Chris to change the landscape and wildlife at a whim, with the landscape shifting similar to how the maze does.
  • I really liked the idea of the shifting maze, and the concept of it testing the teams individually and on their teamwork. I felt like there was more I could’ve explored with this challenge, action-wise and concept-wise, but I’m not the strongest challenge writer and felt the chapter was running long, so I nipped it in the bud.
    • Originally, the second stage was going to have tasks that would require two people, but I cut that simply for time.
  • Rhonda asking the newcomers (or readers) not to question the logic of the maze was me lampshading of this shifting maze makes no sense. 
  • Though not all stated, these are who the Molting Eagles and Fizzled Fireworks were against in stage one of the maze:
    • Kalino vs Griswold
    • Xidorn vs Riley
    • Vance vs Seraphina
    • Cynthia vs Lita
    • Weston vs Ignacio
    • Melissa vs Ness
      • I wanted to have all of these pairs face off in the first stage, but that would have been a lot, and I decided I could either focus mostly on that or on the pairs in stage two, and chose that for the development it would bring.
  • I didn’t originally plan this, but I ended up using the pairs to develop storylines instead of being before the challenge, such as Vance and Melissa on her reward.
  • Riley calls the shark Jabberjaw, a reference to a Hannah-Barbera cartoon of the same name.
  • Riley was originally going to interact with the shark in the previous chapter, back when it was extreme sports and involved shark plane diving.
  • Riley and Seraphina were paired together as Riley was the only Firework that Seraphina hadn’t had a significant interaction with. I wanted Seraphina to have a character moment with each remaining Firework prior to her elimination, to justify why she’d be willing to sacrifice herself for them all.
  • I originally had Lita and Ness talk about Lita’s breakup from Gris in their scene, but I felt it wasn’t adding anything we didn’t know and was retreading territory that had been covered.
  • The votes were:
    • Seraphina: Cynthia, Kalino, Melissa, Vance, Weston, Xidorn,
  • As many readers correctly guessed, Seraphina was a sort of decoy protagonist, meant to seem like a main character but go home sooner than expected.
  • Seraphina was originally going to make the merge. However, some other characters gained prominence and I decided they would be better at the merge. I realized I could complete her story and feel satisfied, so I did. 
  • In the alternate version, the Eagles are still so big and at each other's throats so much that the Fireworks easily steal the win. The Fireworks vote off Diamonqiue, considering her a challenge threat and pegging her as the brains behind the Eagles. 

Chapter 14

  • The title isn't actually a pun, but references a movie titled, "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?" I chose it because it felt like it was good foreshadowing for the events of the chapter.
  • The merge chapter was originally going to have a challenge, but I felt it would take too long, so I split it into two chapters.
  • In various other drafts, Seraphina, Pascal and Aiden made the merge.
  • When the mergers were remembering the past contestants, Jasper was the only one not mentioned. This was to surprise readers even more when he returned. 
  • Diamonique and Jasper were always planned to return since I developed their characters. I tried to offer hints at their return, such as:
    • Both are the only contestants eliminated before the merge without traditional audition tapes. This is because they have a second audition tape.
    • The two were meant to seem like very traditional early out archetypes, and based off other early outs. Unlike others who were the same way, such as Ness, Kalino or Cynthia, they were eliminated early. This was meant to seem suspicious. 
    • During both of their eliminations, Rhonda says “The one of you who doesn’t receive a coffee will be eliminated tonight and never comeback. EVER.” This is based off Chris’ statement in TDI, that he eventually breaks. Rhonda only says this line at their eliminations. 
    • Jasper in particular was meant to return, as his story was about being given a chance and commenting on how unfair having someone there to only be fodder was. The storyline didn't feel honest if he didn't have that chance.
  • Congrats to Zac who predicted I would have returnees, and specifically guessed Diamonique early on, who I didn't think anyone would xD
  • The twist of the returning two was based on Total Drama Amazon, where the first two voted off returned. Diamonique was partially inspired by one of those returnees, Lacey
  • Tessa was not originally planned to return. However, I realized that I wanted more out of her story, and with my current plans I wouldn't get the chance to tell that story for a long time. So I made her a last minute returnee.
  • I had considered having other characters return instead, most likely Frannie, Zipporah, or Easton. However I had planned for Jasper and Diamonique from the start and it was part of their storylines, so I decided to stick to who I wanted.
  • I hadn't realized that Tessa's return made it that all the returnees were eliminated one after the other until I started writing the chapter. I decided that was fine, even if it makes the elimination table a mess, for the sake of story.
  • Jean-Pierre, Jimbo and Jerd were wrong names that Gideon used in a comment referring to Jasper, and it was such a hilarious continuation of the joke that I shamelessly stole for myself :p Thanks Gideon!
  • To make it more clear, more episodes mean more challenges, which means the show will go over longer. The show only has the Pentagram to a certain point, so Rhonda did a few challenges early to make room. 
  • As it is implied, Lita is the one to scream upon Tessa’s arrival. 
  • The idea for the luxury penthouse suit was based off the reward for winning merge challenges in The Legend Of Total Drama Island and the Chris Mclean Hotel and Spa from canon.
  • The high tech toilet is based off a similar toilet from an episode of Bob’s Burgers
  • My idea behind the butlers and maids was for them to be cameos of characters from other fanfictions. In this case, the maid is Julie making her second cameo and Tameron from Total Drama Tides
  • I felt bad the Lady Eagles talk had the girls have to mention their boyfriends, I felt like I was failing the Bechdel Test in that scene, but I wanted that and it felt like the only place. 
  • In the alternate version, Aiden, Bethany, Cynthia, Easton, Frannie, Griswold, Hayden, Ignacio, Melissa, Riley, and Xidorn all make the merge. That's seven Eagles and four Fireworks. Seraphina and Vance return however, being the first voted off by their own teams. Production also chooses Tessa to return since she's famous. This as far as I thought out this alternate version. 

Chapter 15

  • The title is a pun on the phrase, "Deal With The Devil", which references the idea of making a pact with the devil in exchange for something, popularized in Faust.
  • I have been planning on having the loved ones visit at the merge since I was writing WTH? 
  • I originally planned on having all the loved ones be unnamed, given the possibility I wanted to use some of them as characters in a future fanfiction. The only exceptions at the time being Carla and Iolana, because I knew I didn’t want them as future contestants. I changed my mind, since it would just be easier to write. 
  • The video calls from two chapters ago was planned last minute, and I debated it since I knew we’d seen the loved ones so soon. I tried to make the loved ones different from those chats, to keep it fresh.
    • The only exceptions were Lita and Riley. I didn’t show Lita’s chat for this reason though...while I just really liked Riley’s brothers, so I didn’t mind.
  • The loved ones were mostly planned from the start. The only changes were that originally it would be Xidorn’s cousin and not his dad, and Riley would have more brothers there, but everyone else had the same loved ones planned.
  • I was initially hesitant to include Cynthia's mother, as I felt her having a loved one would ruin some of her mystery. But I found the idea of Cynthia's mom too funny and ended up including it. 
  • If the other newcomers had made the merge, these would be their loved ones:
    • Aiden: His stepmother, a soldier on leave.
    • Bethany: Her father, The Harlem Globetrotter.
    • Easton: Weston if his brother was eliminated, their parents if not.
    • Frannie: Her mom, who is bearded lady. Or another friend from the freakshow.
    • Hayden: His boyfriend Zac, the host of Tides.
    • Pascal: Amanda Picklestein.
    • Seraphina: Her mother or her aunt.
    • Zipporah: Her mother.
    • Of these, I was most disappointed we couldn’t meet Aiden’s mother (he at one point made the merge in earlier drafts). I really liked her and the idea behind her and Aiden’s interactions.
  • I chose do the Wheel of Misfortune since it was one of my very canon challenges and I felt it being the first merge challenge would tie in well with the idea of legacy in Genesis.
  • Credit goes to Gideon for the idea on running the gauntlet of rapid fans as a torture. 
  • I tried to change and or expand on the rules for the Wheel Of Misfortune challenge, which weren’t that clear. I specifically wanted to change the rule about forcing others to do tortures, since that was very arbitrary in the original. I also tried to have some allusions and references to the original. 
  • Also ​Credit to Gideon, who had the idea of winning by completing all the tortures on the wheel in LTDI. I knew that rule wouldn't come in, but I liked it so much I wanted to use it.
  • There were going to be more detailed scenes of other tortures, specifically ones done by Lita and Tessa, who originally would have made it past five rounds. I cut it for the sake of time. 
  • Griswold's dare of washing a baboon is based off Phineas and Ferb.
  • Cynthia specifically paralleled the role of Eva in the original challenge. This was foreshadowing of her eventual elimination, just like Eva.
  • I originally had longer scenes between Riley and her brother Pat and Xidorn and his father. I cut them for length and finding other ways to work in the purpose they served.
  • Ness' conversation with Richard and Markie was going to be longer and was edited heavily, to not make it too much detail but enough of a response. Many loved ones interactions were heavily edited to make them feel right.
  • The votes will remain hidden for the moment, to be revealed later.
  • Cynthia was always planned to make the merge.
  • Cynthia wasn’t going to be the first merge boot in the original planning stages, usually the second or third boot. Because of her popularity and my love of writing for her I wanted to try and spare her for a few more chapters. However, I couldn’t find any better elimination for the storyline I had planned.

Chapter 16

  • The title is a pun on, "The Art Of War", a work by Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu that is famous for it's information and warfare and used by many generals over time.
  • Diamonique calls Vance 'Slow Draw McGraw', a reference to Hannah-Barbera cartoon character Quick Draw McGraw that was a horse who was a sheriff in the Old West.
  • Tessa references singer Alanis Morissette, who's famous for her song "Isn't It Ironic"
  • Vance’s ‘siblings’ are actually the names of the Brady Brunch children. That’s likely were Vance got them. 
  • The racing challenge was a challenge I had for a long time, even before a challenge in the canon fourth season, Total Drama Revenge Of The Island, used go-karts. I recommended a similar challenge for Toad in his story Total Drama Revolution and it was going to be a challenge in Japan in my old fic What The Heck? 
  • The racing challenge was meant to have parallels to the canon first season episode, “That’s Off The Chain!” where the contestants built bikes and raced them. Examples include being an automatic elimination challenge and Weston’s tribute to Cynthia paralleling Geoff naming his bike after Bridgette. 
  • The reveal of the racers and their named vehicles was based off Wacky Races, Hannah-Barbera cartoon and a big inspiration for this challenge, along with my love for the token racing episode of cartoons.
    • Lita’s racing outfit was inspired by Penelope Pitstop from said series.
  • Fury Road is a reference to the titular road in Mad Max: Fury Road.
  • Ignacio’s kart’s name means “The Speed Machine”. 
  • Tessa giving up invincibility and canceling the automatic elimination came after doing a Brantsteele simulation of Total Drama Island. In the simulation for the bike race, it tells you who wins invincibility, even though it already reveals who loses and it has no effect on the elimination. I remembered Heather did have the option to give away her invincibility in said challenge, so I decided to twist that and explore what would happen. 
  • With Diamonique’s reveal as the screwy vote, here at the official votes for last chapter.
    • Cynthia: Diamonique, Griswold, Ignacio, Jasper, Lita, Ness, Riley
    • Griswold: Cynthia, Kalino, Melissa, Vance, Weston, Xidorn,
    • Kalino: Tessa
  • The votes for this chapter were;
    • Griswold: Diamonique, Jasper, Kalino, Vance, Weston,
    • Kalino: Griswold, Ness, Riley, Tessa, 
    • Tessa: Lita, Ignacio, Melissa, Xidorn, 
  • Kalino sabotaging Riley’s kart was hinted at in his confessional during the race; he knew for a fact he wouldn’t lose because he set up that trap. 
  • Griswold underwent several changes to his character, only kind of having his character solidified towards the end. He was always planned to be out at the merge, but much later such as seventh or sixth place. It was moved up for the sake of the story. 

Chapter 17

  • The chapter's title is a pun on the song, You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet by Randy Bachman.
  • Ms. Holmes scene was going to be earlier in the merge, but kept getting shifted for space. 
    • The scene also repeated some dialogue established before, but it was to Rhonda and over such a long period that I kept in to inform the newcomers as well as reminder the readers. 
  • The date Weston asks about is around the time of the Salem Witch Trials in America.
  • Cheryl was originally planned to interrupt the family visits in Wheel With The Devil. Vance would have run away and dropped out of the challenge, and Xidorn would have followed to comfort him. The chapter was so long I postponed it till the right moment. 
  • Cheryl was intentionally written with bad grammar and malapropisms. 
  • As you can see, there was a bit of retcon that was acknowledged this chapter. When I originally started this fic, the idea was that Genesis was the first season in a reboot of the entire franchise. However, Zac had done a fun thing by making Rhonda a co-host in his fic Total Drama Tides. I loved the idea so much I made it canon. This was an acknowledgement and me trying to cover myself as why it was a ‘reboot’, when it technically isn’t. 
  • The mention of previous seasons is also to establish an unclear time frame, so I can use it however I want. This is particularly nifty for basically allowing me to establish any fanfiction with OCs as a canon in my work if I want. 
  • I also liked writing that scene to show how some of the cast were fans of the original show. Though I do think it was a bit long.
  • In earlier drafts, Tessa didn’t return and this challenge was the second merge challenge. As such, Griswold competed and had the sword and sandals costume. Xidorn’s costume was also going to be a military uniform.
  • The natural disasters set is specifically the obstacle course used in the Total Drama Action episode, "Master of Disasters."
  • Some other scenes in the obstacle course that I thought of but didn’t feature include a jungle set involving swinging from vines, a superhero set where contestants had to 'save a hostage' from a burning building while walking across a tightrope, a Christmas movie set that was the North Pole and involved sledding, a sword and sandal set that involved running from lions on chariots, and a French Art Film set that featured black and white backgrounds and tons of mimes. 
    • I intentionally avoided using a horror, sports movie, or sci-fi set since those referenced challenges that had or will be used.
  • The votes were:
    • Tessa: Ignacio, Kalino, Vance, Weston, Xidorn
    • Xidorn: Diamonique, Jasper, Lita, Melissa, Ness, Riley, Tessa, 
  • Jasper voted for Xidorn on Diamonique’s urging, as part of their alliance together.
    • Originally, I was going to have Kalino betray Xidorn’s friendship and use his alliance with Diamonique to vote out Xidorn. The idea would have been that Xidorn could’ve overheard the two talking. I scrapped it at the last minute when I realized Kalino would know because Xidorn doesn’t lie. I couldn’t come up with a more convincing reason for Kalino to betray him. 
  • Xidorn made it farther in various drafts, but always went out as an earlier merge boot. Up until recently, Xidorn made it another chapter. This was changed when I reworked the elimination order, and I felt Xidorn was the most expandable. 
  • Xidorn’s father was originally going to say similar to his letter in the family challenge, but I made it a letter when I felt it could give Xidorn’s story a better ending. 

Chapter 18

  • The title is a pun on the short story, “The Most Dangerous Game” by Richard Connell. 
  • The chapter is a homage to many things I love, including mysteries, horror movie parodies, and Scooby Doo.
  • The killer interrupting Diamonique’s bath is a reference to Psycho’s infamous shower scene. The screeches are of course the iconic violin sting from said Alfred Hitchcock movie.
  • The voting chart is based off the voting chart in the infamous Total Drama All-Stars episode, Sundae Muddy Sundae. Courtney made a similar chart, which was revealed to the others and caused her elimination...and throwing a season’s worth of character development out the window. 
    • I thought of having Weston mention it, a clue to him that it wasn’t authentic. I decided against it to avoid too much explanation after so much else. 
  • The evil phrases are a collection of different phrases from various sources, including Dracula, Macbeth, and others.
    • These phrases and the black licorice joke were originally part of a scene I wrote very early on, before Genesis’ first chapter was written. Originally, Jenny muttered it while being ‘possessed’. 
  • The Scooby-Doo Doors Gag is one of my favorite jokes in animation and I had to do a tribute to it. 
    • In WTH? I had planned a similar scene for a similar challenge during the merge. I had wanted to have a challenge like this for along time. 
  • I planned early on for the old lady to be the identity of the second Phantom, even before her second appearance. I’m not sure when, and it may have been based off a comment by someone (I think Bruno) that hoped to see her again. 
    • In fact, Ms. Holmes last name Holmes is actually a reference to serial killer H.H. Holmes, who's 'murder castle' inspired the Pentagram. This was another hint to readers she wasn't a good character and actually the serial killer. 
  • I was a bit worried that Weston solving the mystery of Cynthia’s elimination would be unrealistic given his ditzy nature. However narratively, it needed to be Weston to solve it for his character arc and payoff of earlier parts. Plus, he was funny as a detective. Having him marathon Murder She Wrote was my reach around. 
  • The votes were;
    • Diamonique: Ignacio, Jasper, Kalino, Lita, Melissa, Ness, Riley, Tessa, Vance, Weston,
    • Kalino: Diamonique
  • To make it clear, Kalino hid the chart in the library. When everyone split up to search for clues, he suggested Weston go there. This was so it would be found.
  • Diamonique was planned to make it far in early drafts, from the final 8 to 6. However in actual writing, I grew to like a lot of characters and felt they needed to go farther. She ten was out around the final 10 or 9, but was moved up at the last minute to give other characters a chance. I also felt I could eliminate a returnee sooner.

Chapter 19

  • The title is a combination of Total Drama Genesis and Total Drama Tides, who crossovers this chapter. The title is a reference to the Genesis story in the Bible, the story of the creation of the world, and based on the phrase 'another side of the story'. 
  • As mentioned before, Mroddy used Rhonda as a character in Tides, having her as co-host so she could learn how to host before her own American season. I loved the idea so much I incorporated into my canon. We decided that at the final ten, we'd do a crossover special for our stories. In a way we've sort of incorporated them into a fanfiction universe, like the Marvel Cinematic Universe
  • As a crossover, this chapter was collaborated on by Mroddy and myself. We wrote our own openings and elimination ceremonies, but the crossover portion we co-wrote and is the same in both chapters. There are slight differences between them, specifically for introducing each other's cast, but the same content.
  • Shout-out to Mroddy, who reached the final ten way before me and had to wait on me before we could start the collab. 
  • The song Kalino is singing is "Summer Breeze" by Seals and Crofts
  • Rhonda's secret was originally going to be somewhat different, but the concept was still the same; she was a previous contestant who did poorly. I made her a showjumper because I felt like it added more significance to that phrase, which was mentioned constantly early on.
  • Tessa's complaints about them focusing too much on the guys is a joke at myself, as I was feeling guilty that the girls ended up talking about boys. I tried to make it far by having the guys do the same thing. 
  • Credit to Mroddy for coming up with the idea of a 'secret spa' in the hotel...that isn't that big a secret. He first wrote it in the scene where Cherry steals the bath bomb. I love the idea of it, and incorporated it into the opening.
  • I originally wanted to wait on revealing the Tides cast names till their introductions...but that was way too complicated, so I tried to reveal it after their first line of dialogue. I also added a photo gallery to make it easier for unfamiliar readers to tell the characters apart. 
  • Hayden's boyfriend in the story was named Zac as a reference to Mroddy, who really liked the character. Zac, the host of Tides, ended up being his canon boyfriend. 
  • We knew we wanted the challenge to be in pairs so we could have the cast interact. The pairs idea inspired us to base it off Twin It To Win It, a collab fanfiction set in the same universe. We designed the tasks in it to reflect our two seasons and the American and Canadian theme. 
  • We chose the pairs based on who we thought would have the best dynamics together.
  • Yasmin and Damien ended up being my favorite sailors to write for. Ironically, they were pretty low on my personal rankings at this point. 
  • Rhonda's POV before giving out coffee felt weird to me at first, but I remembered we saw her thoughts in the first chapter and decided to go with it.
    • Overall I hadn't planned for this chapter to be so Rhonda focused, but it ended up working for her character. 
  • To find out how the Genesis cast voted, you'll have to read Total Drama Tides. But the votes for the Genesis cast were;
    • Kalino: Andre, Sarah, Viola,
    • Lita: Alfie, Cherry, Damien, Maila, Yasmin
    • Tessa: Sam, 
    • Vance: Trixie,
  • I had a sort of unofficial bottom 4 because I felt like any combination of a bottom two would make it obvious Lita was going home.
  • Kalino’s confessional was a bit long, but I wanted it to fully explain the motive for eliminating Lita (I also may enjoy the villain rant trope too much).
    • Basically, Kalino realized the girls maybe working together and wanted to stop it. He felt Ignacio and Jasper wouldn’t go against someone they loved, and the girls could use the two of them as votes (like how the girls got Iggy and Jasper to vote Xidorn). He assumes this is Lita, since both boys are close to her. He also wants to split the girls, since Tessa will likely get the blame for Lita’s elimination.
  • In early planning stages, Lita was going to win. I changed this before I started writing however, as I felt it would be too obvious. 
  • During writing, I planned for Lita to leave around the final six or so. I moved up her elimination because I wanted other characters to go farther and wanted to subvert readers' expectations, who felt she was the main character. 
  • Until we planned the collab, I had Lita surviving one more chapter and receiving 9th place. However, when deciding the elimination method I found the idea funny of a character inspired by LeShawna leaving under a similar 'unfair' elimination. Developing it more, I realized it worked better for Lita to leave now under these circumstances for the story.

Chapter 20

  • The chapter title is a parody of the expression ‘a true story’, often used to explain the following story did happen.
  • Weston wanting to open his own PI business over a night club is a reference to Baywatch Nights, a spin-off of Baywatch where one of their lifeguards, Mitch Buchannon, works as a detective in a PI business over a nightclub.
    • Similarly, Mitch Buchannon is portrayed by actor David Hasselhoff. Hasselhoff’s other famous role is on the show Knight Rider, about a talking, crime solving car. This inspired the joke about Weston wanting a crime fighting car...but given it’s Weston, he instead thinks of Speed Buggy, a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. 
  • Melissa naming a cockroach Jay is a tribute to JustLittleOlMe and her story The Beasts of Wawanakwa. In the story, she has a chapter about friendly cockroaches she named after wiki-users. I wanted her to receive the same treatment. 
  • Melissa releasing her cockroaches was meant to happen earlier, but due to being a clue in the mystery challenge it was postponed.
  • The cockroaches themselves were planned to be introduced even before the merge, when Aiden was still around. I have no idea why I changed it, though I found an unfinished scene of it, so I potentially forgot. One tidbit from it I wish I had included was that Melissa kept them in a gingerbread house.
  • I was going to have Ness and Ignacio have a similar conversation to one they had about Lita but about Griswold in the chapter after his elimination. I scrapped it for time, but reworked it to be more natural here too.
  • The immunity flash drive hidden in the toilet was planned since the start of the merge, though who found has changed from my original plan, but that's a story for another time when it's used.
  • The Myers-Briggs personality test and the 16 Personalities are the same test. I admit to forgetting that when writing the chapter, but I left it in as it seems like something Rhonda wouldn't realize. 
  • The animal buddy challenge is from Total Drama Action, during the episode “Top Dog”. It’s a challenge and episode that sticks out in my memory for some reason. I have a love for animals and thought it would be fun to do the challenge.
  • The animal buddy challenge was originally meant to be earlier, but kept getting pushed back to accommodate other challenges. 
  • I also hadn’t planned to do a challenge involving receiving a partner back to back.
  • I chose the animal pairs mostly for what seemed funny for me. How accurate the ‘spirit animals’ are is entirely up to interpretation. 
  • For fun, I imagined what every newcomer would get if had made to this challenge. The other contestants buddies would have been:
    • Aiden- Bald eagle
    • Bethany- Armadillo (she would use it like a basketball)
    • Cynthia- Aye Aye
    • Diamonique- Poodle
    • Easton- Crocodile (because its similar to Weston’s)
    • Frannie-Blobfish
    • Griswold- Grizzly bear
    • Hayden- Buck deer
    • Lita- Toad
    • Pascal- Some kind of large rodent 
    • Seraphina- Spider
    • Xidorn- Rhino
    • Zipporah- Songbird
  • In planning stages, Tessa didn’t originally return and for fun I listed her animal as a snake. Diamonique originally had bees listed, depending on the draft whether she made it this far or not. I changed Tessa’s animal buddy to bees since I found a lot of humor in it and a snake didn't match her anymore.
  • Melissa’s animal buddy was going to be a platypus, which listed as her fear in her bio. I decided against the idea since it felt too similar to Riley confronting her fear of peacocks earlier.
  • Other planned animal buddies include Vance with a pig and Kalino with either a sloth or a kangaroo. 
  • I wanted someone to name their animal buddy as a Jr. I decided on Kalino since he’d be lazy enough to do that.
  • Weston’s albino alligator’s name ‘Wally’ is a reference to classic Hannah Barbara cartoon character, Wally Gator. 
  • Melissa’s elephant is of course named after Babar the Elephant from the classic children’s book series.
  • Ness’ falcon is named after the first flying-type Gym Leader from the Pokemon series. 
  • As mentioned, Riley's nickname for the shark, Jabberjaw, comes from the Hannah Barbara cartoon of the same name. Their rock and roll perfomance is inspired by this music video based on the show.
  • Jasper and Tessa are the only animals not to have been given nicknames by their partners. For Jasper, its similar to how he didn’t name his kart, as he just didn’t think to. For Tessa, it’s because there are so many bees and she didn’t bond with them on the same level as everyone else
  • Jabberjaw attacking Riley’s reflection in the kitchen is a reference to a similar scene in Jurassic Park
  • Riley being partnered with Jaberjaw was my plan since the chapter he was originally introduced in. 
  • In real life, great white sharks grow back entire rows of teeth very easily. But in real life, sharks also don’t walk and play guitar. Given this is Total Drama, I felt I could take some liberties with these animals. In Jabberjaw’s case, I imagine he has some condition that’s prevented the tooth from growing back. 
  • Pal is a parody of Air Bud and the series of Air Bud movies, (a movie series about a dog that manages to help a different sports team every movie). He's also a parody of other 'celebrity canines'.
  • I had originally wanted to have Ignacio not get a perfect score, Potpourri accidentally skunking the judges or something, but I felt like it would have been too predictable. 
  • I had considered adding more scenes to the Zoobreak portion of the challenge, but decided against it since they didn’t add anything and the challenge was already long enough.
  • Jenny’s insult to Ignacio was of course a reference to Looney Tunes’ Pepe Le Pew. Potpourri hoping after Ignacio on all fours is based on how Pepe Le Pew follows those he’s in love with in his cartoons. 
  • Riley was alway planned to win the challenge since I thought of it. Befriending a shark just seemed like such a Riley thing to do. 
  • All the headstones mentioned in the pet cemetery are named after pets of canon characters. 
  • The decision to have more ‘advantages’ is a parody of the current era of Survivor and the most recent season (at the time of this writing) Survivor: Ghost Island, which is themed around old advantages. 
    • Riley’s limited offer flash-drive test is based of a similar advantage in GI. 
  • Jabberjaw’s sudden British voice and his line are a reference to the Pink Panther cartoon, "Pink Sink". The cartoon ends with the Pink Panther speaking for the first time, saying a similar line. 
  • The votes were:
    • Ness: Jasper, Kalino, Vance, Weston
    • Tessa: Ignacio,
    • Weston: Melissa, Ness, Tessa, Riley,
  • After Ness was in a tiebreaker with Easton, I immediately knew I wanted to have Weston and Ness compete in a tiebreaker at the merge. I decided to a challenge for this tiebreaker to spice it up.
  • Originally, Weston was going to be eliminated sooner. He would have gotten out either when Xidorn or Diamonique did. I changed it as I writing Chapter 17, because Weston was well-liked by certain readers and felt there was more I could do with his story, especially when I introduced the detective subplot. I felt like I could give his story more closure by extending his stay.
  • I had also considered eliminating Weston at the final ten, before the crossover was decided upon. In that instance, it would have either been a 5-5 tie or not all the guys and girls wouldn’t have joined forces, casting stray votes but still ending in a majority tie for Ness and Weston. 

Chapter 21

  • The chapter title is a pun on the phrase, 'Be afraid. Be very afraid.' This is a warning phrase that said to originate from the 1986 version of The Fly.
  • I tried to keep the pre-challenge stuff short because I wanted to focus on the challenge. I really wanted this chapter to be about the different pairs interacting.
  • The challenge is based off one of my favorite challenges from World Tour, in the episode "Niagra Brawls. I’ve found it’s a favorite of other fans as well.
  • I went back and forth on a lot on the pairs for the challenge. Ultimately, I decided them on who I thought would bring the best interactions for the chapter.
    • Ironically, Riley and Vance were paired together by default. But they actually had more in-common that I realized as I started writing the chapter.
  • The x-ray spectacles were based off the electric meat grinder reward in Total Drama World Tour; a somewhat seemingly random reward that actually had payoff in the next challenge.
  • As mentioned, the golden baby immunity flash drive is based off a tradition from New Orleans involving the King cake.
  • The losers being referenced with the gifts in the challenge, along with mentioning them frequently through the chapter, was to foreshadow the loser’s vote.
  • The divorce course’s obstacles are designed to refer to phrases about marriage, such a tying the knot, jumping the broomstick, dumped, marriage being a trap, on the rocks, etc.
  • The toll booth was originally going to be about questions regarding marriage laws, like in the canon episode. The trivia about your partner was based on how Toad did the challenge in Total Drama: Superstar Showdown.
  • The votes were;
    • Ignacio: Vance
    • Kalino: Tessa, Riley
    • Melissa: Kalino, Jasper, Ignacio, *Melissa’s stolen vote,
    • Vance: Ness,
  • Originally, I hadn’t planned for the flash drives to be such a big deal. Kalino would have had two, the only working ones. He'd tease them all season long, setting up the Chekhov’s Gun...that would never go off. Kalino would’ve been blindsided when everyone caught on to him, except Vance, and would be voted off with both in his pocket.
  • The flash drives were always planned to be a subversion of the usual immunity idols, which are usually deus ex machinas for villains to escape eliminations. I decided I liked the idea more of the flash drives being the deus ex machinas that eliminate the villain and developed an idea around it.
  • The idea to have everyone be immune was planned long before a similar event happened in Survivor, referred to by fans as ‘Advantage-aggden’.
  • I do feel a little bad that I kept introducing so many advantages, but I did so everyone would be immune for the votes this chapter.
    • I had thought about using the second flash drive Kalino originally had so I could stop introducing advantages, but felt he wouldn’t use it for someone else and makes sense he would use it earlier in the merge like he did.
  • The losers’ votes were;
    • Kalino: Aiden, Bethany, Cynthia, Diamonique, Easton, Griswold, Hayden, Lita, Pascal, Seraphina, Weston, Xidorn, Zipporah,
    • Vance: Frannie
  • I wanted to do my take on the loser’s vote in the original Total Drama Island, similar to how the go-kart challenge paralleled the bike racing challenge. Here I wanted it to not be unfair, but who would realistically go home.
  • Originally I thought about having the losers vote for who they want to win most and the newcomer with the least votes would be eliminated. I scrapped it when I came about with the tiebreaker idea, which I liked better.
  • I admit had some trouble writing Kalino this chapter. I didn’t want to give away that he was going to be eliminated, but I wanted to give some kind of closure to his story, while also not making him solely act as an antagonist this chapter. In the end, I really did like writing for Kalino in the story overall and think he does have some complexities I’d want to explore more one day.
  • I considered having Kalino go farther, doing this challenge at the final six instead. The challenge allowed for two people to win invincibility and would have meant less advantages being introduced for ‘immunity gate’...but I wanted everyone left to participate in this challenge.

Chapter 22

  • The chapter title is a pun on the game show Family Feud.
  • The scenes of Melissa trying to help Jasper find his talent were originally written along time ago, before I even started Genesis or had decided to call it Genesis. Originally Lita was in the scene, taking Tessa’s role. I had forgotten it and rediscovered it later, wanting to use it since it seemed fun.
  • I tried to have the challenge be a homage to the epic fantasy genre and video games overall. There are many allusions or references in the challenge to fantasy and different video games, which I try to note in this trivia. Most of the monsters were references to D&D monsters in particular.
  • All of the newcomers were given a fantasy race and class, present in most fantasy tabletops and RPGS. They races and classes were designed to reflect the character:
    • Jasper was simply a human, since they’re the most ‘average’ race. I made his class a thief since he was so invisible, fitting a class about being unseen.
    • Ness was made a halfling since she’s the shortest contestant and I felt it fit her personality. She was a mage since her bad luck seems supernatural.
    • Melissa was a fairy and a cleric, both fitting her sweet and helpful personality.
    • Riley’s race was a cat folk, since she’s cool like a ‘cool cat’ and tends to wear fur clothing. Her class was druid to fit her chill personality. It was also felt like a ridiculous but cool combo, which also fits Riley.
    • Tessa was made an elf since elves in fantasy are often portrayed as ‘higher’ lifeforms and rather prideful, fitting Tessa’s somewhat snootie personality. She was a made a ranger simply because they’re associated with elves.
    • Ignacio was an orc; orcs are often treated or portrayed as ugly, so I thought it was funny if the hottest person was one. Warrior felt like another opposite of Ignacio’s character, being more an intellect, and matched the orc race.
    • I considered having Vance be a dwarf, as he fit those stereotypes. But I really liked the idea of Vance as a centaur. His class was a barbarian, since Vance is someone who would rush into a fight.
  • I considered Kalino being in this challenge when I was debating when to eliminate him; he would have been a lizardfolk and a bard. A bard felt like a fitting class for Kalino since they’re known for their weird behavior. Lizardfolk seemed to fit his reputation as a ‘slimy’ villain.
  • The newcomers various ‘storylines’ to explain why they go on a quest are based on various video game origins for playable characters or backgrounds for characters in fantasy settings.
    • Tessa’s arranged marriage storyline was specifically based of the origin for a City Elf in Dragon Age: Origins.
    • Ignacio’s storyline as a prisoner and having to choose between factions is based on the background of the player character in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
  • The line about shorts that Jasper hears in the bar is an allusion to Pokemon, where an NPC Youngster trainer famously says the same line. This line is often referenced in other Pokemon games. 
  • Jenny and Toby’s game counterpart was a vulture because of their pet vulture Elaine.
  • The various monkey enemies is a reference to the trope Underground Monkey, and the Trope Namer RPGWorld
    • The vampire monkeys that swarm Vance as soon as he enters the cave are an allusion to a common joke in the Pokemon fandom about Zubats, who constantly attack players when they enter a cave. 
  • The Cluckys are both a reference to the chicken Clucky in Pahkitew Island, known for their terrible tempers, but also the Cuckoos from Legend of Zelda, who have a reputation for attacking and mercilessly killing Link if provoked.  
  • The idea of changing jobs and wearing different outfits as form of class changing is based off The Final Fantasy series. The cat class though is specifically a reference to Miitopia, in which is a job one of your playable characters can have.
  • Ignacio’s Vorpal Sword is a reference to Lewis Carroll’s Through The Looking Glass, mentioned as the weapon used to fight the Jabberwocky, which was the name of the boss Ignacio defeated to get the weapon. The item itself is an example of a Disc-One Nuke .
  • Destroying the Chalice of Voron in lava is a reference to The Lord of the Rings, where the One Ring must be destroyed in Mt. Doom.
  • Voron being the true final boss of the game is an example of the trope, well True Final Boss , where the game has another, harder final boss that you fight after defeating the story’s main villain.
  • The votes were;
    • Jasper: Ness, Riley
    • Melissa: Jasper,
    • Tessa: Ignacio, Melissa, Vance
    • Vance: Tessa
  • Tessa wasn’t planned to originally return. It was a last minute decision, decided around the second to last premerge chapter. I decided to have Tessa return after feeling like her story wasn’t finished. I didn’t know when I’d get the chance to use her in a story again and she had a lot of people to make amends to, so I decided it would improve her and her story.
  • When having her return I figured she’d be eliminated much sooner, thinking she’d need to be. She ended up growing up on me a lot, and having a story and interactions that warranted her lasting longer.
  • I had considered eliminating Tessa after Weston, but I wanted Tessa to outlast Kalino since she set that goal early on.

Chapter 23

  • The title is a reference to The Day Of The Dead, a Mexican holiday where families remember lost loved ones and celebrate them, helping them along in the afterlife. 
  • The scene between Riley and Ingacio was planned last chapter, but was pushed back to give Ness and Ignacio a scene to talk about playing an immunity flash drive on each other.
  • I hadn't always planned to do a challenge about the horse, but I really liked the running gag and wanted to give it more pay-off. 
  • Vance's various plans were all based off ideas that villains used on Looney Tunes, inspired by the fact that Vance looks like Yosemite Sam. 
  • Vance's line about the horse saying, "well nobody's perfect", is a reference to the infamous last line of the 1959 movie Some Like It Hot. 
  • The votes were;
    • Ignacio: Melissa, Vance
    • Vance: Ignacio, Jasper, Ness, Riley, 
  • I had considered changing the votes to be a tiebreaker. However, I didn’t want to do a tiebreaker challenge because it didn’t feel like it fit with the sudden nature of the challenge. Nor could I find a combination of players where a re-vote would give me the results I wanted. 
  • For along time I debated going through with eliminating Vance here or having him win the challenge after I realized how satisfying that might be. Sadly, I couldn’t switch the elimination to make the further chapters work or a different, satisfying elimination.
  • Vance was the last character created for Genesis. I needed an early-out male. When trying to think of an idea, I thought of how reality shows have a constant ‘cowboy’ archetype. But I didn’t want a southern, because of a scrapped character for a future season fulfilling that role at the time. This lead me to the idea of a character who wasn’t a ‘cowboy’ or 'southern', leading to the idea of some pretending to be one that become Vance.
  • Vance was originally planned to be an early out, one of those characters I had a vague idea of going around fifth place. His story would have been much simpler; his obvious lies would’ve been revealed sooner after doing bad at a challenge and after a heart to heart with someone, he’d reveal why he lied. He’d have been eliminated after. 
  • I kept Vance around longer after readers reacted favorably to him and he started growing on me. I was never sure how long he was going to last. 
  • I had considered eliminating Vance before Kalino, but I wanted him to last longer so someone would remember Kalino fondly and to have Kalino's 'minion' last longer. 

 Chapter 24

  • The chapter title is a pun on the television show "How I Met Your Mother".
    • The title was originally Drop To The Top when the challenge was more unclear but an idea in my head. I changed it when posting the chapter, since I liked the pun more than any others I could come up with, even if it may give away the reveal of Jasper's brother.
  • Since Blainerson was first mentioned in Chapter 6, Invade You Look, he was planned to appear as Jasper’s brother. Before then, I hadn’t finalized on who exactly Jasper’s brother would be other than someone famous, but had planned for him to appear in the story.
  • I did always know that Blainerson wouldn’t appear until much later after the loved ones visit.
    • At one point, I considered having a challenge where competitors would be have to compete with their worst enemy. I scrapped the challenge for numerous reasons, even before the merge.
      • One idea for that challenge was that Lita, who’d still be competing, would be partnered with Tessa. This is how they’d bury the hatchet. I decided against it because one challenge didn’t feel like enough development for Tessa’s redemption.
  • As his name hints, Blainerson McManly was inspired by canon characters Chris McLean and Blaineley, designed as a teenage mix of the two’s fame seeking, narcissistic personality. In my head, he always looked similar to Beth’s boyfriend Brady.
  • The challenge idea was inspired by the Brantsteele Simulator for Dog Eat Dog. I however, got confused or mis-remembered how Dog Eat Dog worked, so it turned out different with it's own rules.
  • Blainerson calling getting Melissa's name wrong as Melisandre is a reference to Game of Thrones.
  • Blainerson references the infamous 'Sure Jan' meme when he accidentally calls his brother Jan. 
  • The head to head challenge ‘Balloon Lagoon’ was inspired by the Nintendo NES game, Balloon Fighter.
  • The head to head challenge ‘Paint of Heart’ was inspired by the video game Splatoon and the 1964 Pink Panther cartoon ‘Pink Phink’, the first animated short starting the Pink Panther.
  • The votes were:
    • Melissa: Ignacio, Riley
    • Riley: Jasper, Melissa, Ness
  • Before starting the story, I had thought Riley would be an early merge boot. By the time I reached the merge, I loved her and she was so popular, that I wanted her to make it as far as possible. I considered having her go even further, but I couldn't figure out a way to make it work with the story ideas I had.
  • The song playing while Riley rides the Public Transportation of Losers is "Ventura Highway" by the band America. I wanted Riley's departure to have some song, and was listening to this one. I'm not sure it fit, but it felt sad so I went with it.

Chapter 25

  • The title is a pun on the phrase, "The complete history...".
  • I debated doing a losers visit chapter at the final five, when it's more traditionally done, but liked the idea of telling it through someone's elimination and felt Riley worked better for this than Vance. 
  • I had an idea of what I wanted the structure of the chapter to be, I knew I wanted Riley's POV and Jenny and Toby interviewing, but had trouble figuring out how to execute it. It made the chapter take longer than was planned. 
  • Bethany's role as 'Loser Queen' is based of Survivor; the losers lodge in that show is Ponderosa and the first member their during the individual phase is nicknamed the 'Mayor of Ponderosa'. 
  • Zipporah saying she didn't vote for Bethany is a reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
  • The reference to the Star Wars prequel is a joke on how unpopular they were (and still are for some) with Star Wars fans. 
  • Mandy's ranting about a BBQ and Foot Massage place is a reference to this viral video , which become a meme at one point. 
  • By the time this chapter was written, Total Drama Tides and finished and it's sequel Total Drama Eclipse was long underway. Zac asked if Weston could compete on it, and I agreed because I loved the idea. There are few references to Eclipse and foreshadowing of it in the story as a result.
  • Vance's 'flashback' was of course inspired by the canon spin-off Total Drama Rama.
  • P.S. Loathecraft is a reference to H.P Lovecraft, writer of the Chuthlu Mythos. 
  • Frannie having visited her circus after her elimination was first mentioned in Chapter 14 Guess Who's Coming To Dinner. Re-reading parts for this chapter, I read that and wanted to incorporate it. 
  • Kalino finding the show very silly is based on Survivor: Borneo contestant Greg Buis. Buis often mocked the show and find how seriously it took itself ridiculous. I felt Kalino and Buis were similar.
  • I originally planned to have all the losers reveal who they're most likely to support, but only mentioned the most obvious ones to keep it a surprise during the finale. 
  • To make the chapter more plot important, I considered having the losers vote on who they wanted to give an advantage in the next challenge to or have the losers do a challenge similar to the canon episode "Hawaiian Style" from Total Drama World Tour. I decided it against because it didn't feel like it fit. 

Chapter 26

  • The title is a pun based of the the legal term 'a rule of four', relating to the Supreme Court and also the name of a 2004 novel. 
    • The original chapter title was “And Then Were Sewer”. When I thought of a city location, I wanted to do a challenge exploring the underground and the sewer system, but never really had an idea. I came up with the school challenge and used it since it was more concrete.
  • The reporter disguised as a maid is a character who will be important next season...
  • Howard Taft High was foreshadowed last episode, when Seraphina recommended the co-hosts remember it.
  • Melissa saying "And the prom's tomorrow!" is a reference to a joke that originates from this video.
  • Ignacio’s line at the science fair is based on an infamous line from the film Apocalypse Now.
  • Melissa's cockroaches were always planned to return at some point, helping her with a challenge, but I never solidified a plan of when or how. One idea was helping her capture the mad horse, when she was originally going to win that challenge. 
  • Melissa's speech is a parody based on Daenerys Targaryen from the book series A Song of Fire and Ice and TV series Game of Thrones. Her date to the prom is meant to be a parody of Khal Drogo from the same series. 
  • Jenny's line during the insect attack is a reference to The Simpsons
  • Hotel de Coture first appeared in Chapter 10 A Crime of Fashion as the setting for that challenge. I needed a place to set the prom and enjoyed establishing more contiunity. 
  • The votes were;
    • Jasper: Melissa, Ness,
    • Melissa: Ignacio, Jasper
  • The Host’s Choice votes were:
    • Jasper: Toby
    • Melissa: Jenny, Rhonda
  • The idea of the Host’s Choice was inspired by Total Drama Island’s original final four challenge, where Chef got to pick who was eliminated. I was worried it seemed like an unfair tiebreaker, but I felt like it was justified enough in-story.
  • In the earliest drafts, when Melissa wasn’t even officially named, I had planned her to be an early merge boot for being seen as a social threat. This changed as storylines were developed.

Chapter 27

  • The title is based off the phrase “Best of the Best”, referring to the absolute top of a certain group, field, category, etc.
    • The original title was "Three Fallin". It was a placeholder title until I had a concrete idea of the challenge and who the final 3 were.
  • I debated Melissa making it to the final 3, but really loved the challenge idea and couldn’t think of a good challenge for her. I considered something involving her stomach, since getting sick easily hurt her in quite a few challenges, but it didn’t feel as strong as everyone else’s weaknesses.
  • Ness references the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when she answers Michelangelo. All four turtles are named after named after Italian Renaissance artists.
  • The poker playing dogs are of course a reference to a series of paintings called Dogs Play Poker by artist Cassius Marcellus Coolidge.
  • The dogs playing poker were meant to look like canine versions of the final 3. 
  • I debated writing knock-off versions of all the songs used, but I didn't want to distract from the feelings behind the song.
  • For time's sake, I cut most of the lyrics of each song. I debated using all the lyrics in Jasper’s song, to fully capture the scene of his big win, but I was worried the lyrics would push the rating of the story even further than it was.
  • The order of the challenges was designed to end on Jasper’s challenge and build up to him winning the entire challenge.
  • I tried to design each challenge to winnable by the respective newcomer by testing 
  • In canon, Heather holds the records for most merge challenge wins in a single season at 4. This means Jasper’s five wins are a new record. Genesis has an ambiguous relationship to other fanfiction seasons though, so it’s never stated definitively if he’s won more.
  • I hope it wasn’t confusing, but Ness and Ignacio talking to Jasper was meant to cut between each talking to Jasper alone, to create a sense of parallelism.
  • The vote was;
    • Ignacio: Jasper
  • In very early drafts, Ignacio was a much more minor character. His major storyline would be that he had a girlfriend the whole time, who'd be his loved one. This would break Lita's heart after she fell for him. This was dropped while writing Genesis, seeming weird that he'd never mention her before the merge and wanting to do more with his character. 
  • In those earlier drafts, Ignacio would be the first out at the merge. He ultimately made it further when other characters felt like they needed to go and I expanded his role in the story.

Chapter 28

  • I originally planned to have the opening start at the finalists’ last dinner, an actual last supper, but realized that was similar to the last chapter’s opening. The tourist visit felt a little off to me, but allowed me to have the finalists and the hosts naturally be in the same area.
  • I tried to say everything I wanted the finalists to say before the challenge. I swore there was more I wanted Jasper to say, but wasn’t sure how to express it. The scene talking to himself in his room was planned for along time.
  • The video chats from home is based off similar messages from home during the finale of canon’s fourth season, Total Drama: Revenge of the Island and Toad’s Total Drama: Superstar Showdown.
  • The supporters were;
    • Jasper: Aiden, Bethany, Cynthia, Diamonique, Frannie, Tessa, Vance, Weston, Xidorn, Zipporah,
    • Ness: Easton, Griswold, Hayden, Ignacio, Kalino, Lita, Melissa, Pascal, Riley, Seraphina,
  • I was worried the supporters went on a little long, since it was a lot of dialogue. I wanted to give everyone a chance to shine though, so I kept it.
  • I had the hardest time deciding who Bethany and Hayden would support, as I could seem them liking and rooting for both. Originally, I had Bethany supporting Ness and Hayden supporting Jasper. Only after writing their questions and answers, I realized they’d lean more towards the opposite because of the answers.
  • I was originally going to have the order of the supporters be the elimination order, but I felt it wouldn’t be very dramatic, since it would end up being along stretch of support for Jasper, then Ness and so on. I made an order that I thought might have more tension.
  • Ness was associated with yellow and Jasper with green for the challenge after the school challenge, when I used the same colors to represent them in that challenge.
  • Bethany's line about the force is a quote from Star Wars: Rogue One. She originally quoted 'May the force be with you', but I changed that after the horse pun later. 
  • The finalists who had the most supporters would’ve won a choice between a headstart or a freebie on any of the labors.
  • The final challenge was planned early on to be a reverse of the first challenge. 
  • The fireworks in the challenge were to tie into the American theme and because both finalists were Fizzled Fireworks. I'm not sure what a finalist would collect if they were on the Molting Eagles. Perhaps keys that would have opened eleven locks trapping a cage of eleven eagles. 
  • Diamonique’s pink Cadillac is a reference to the Bruce Springsteen song “Pink Cadillac”.
  • I hadn’t planned on Ness riding horses at first, but I didn’t want her to get another taxi. I debated Tinfoil himself showing up, with the horse Vance left when he was eliminated. However, I didn’t like the idea of Tinfoil returning after being sent to a horse sanctuary. The horse drawn carriage seemed like a reasonable idea.
  • The ‘Horse Awakens’ Carriage Company is of course a parody of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, as is the phrase ‘May the horse be with you’ of a common phrase from the Star Wars movies.
  • The horses names are of two Jedi during the Clone Wars era of Star Wars, Aayla Secura and Luminara Unduli, two of the author’s favorites.
  • The bullfighting test was the first one I had thought of it and the only one before writing the challenge. It was inspired by the classic Looney Tunes cartoon, “Bully For Bugs”. Toro, which means bull, is the same name of the bull in the cartoon.
  • The creativity challenge is based off a prompt for Odyssey of the Mind, a creative problem solving program for kids from kindergarten to college. The prompt is specifically for a spontaneous problem; members of an OM have to give as many creative answers to the word problem as they can. Often puns or out of the box answers are what they’re looking for, why Ness using words with car in them count.
  • I hadn’t planned for Jasper’s crew to lose the pink Cadillac, but after something similar happened with Ness I wanted to balance it out. I really liked the idea of a flying vehicle, so the chopper was incorporated.
  • Diamonique’s mention of a little red corvette is a reference to the Prince song of the same name, fitting as another Prince song was the inspiration for Diamonique’s hat.
  • As mentioned elsewhere, the maid from the Pentagram, who shows up as the Uber driver is Julie from my first fanfiction Total Drama What The Heck? I debated including her, but I wanted to have a send up to my original fic.
  • Also as previously mentioned, the butler is Tameron from Total Drama Tides.
  • Ness tripping over the penny is a callback to the first challenge, when Ness wiped out the same way.
  • In earlier planning stages, when the series was a direct sequel to WTH?, Jasper would've still been a returnee. His final placement varied from fifth to third. When the story transitioned to Genesis and I posted the first chapter to the wiki, I decided I wanted him to be the winner. 
    • Jasper was planned to be the winner up until a few chapters into the merge. I decided it might be more interesting if he took second place. 
  • Ness was a late addition to Genesis, chosen to be one of the roomies because I liked the concept behind the character. I never had a set idea for her final placement other than her making it at least halfway through the merge. When I decided Jasper would take second place, I decided Ness would be the winner because her win seemed like a good foil and contrast to Jasper's loss. 
  • The implication is that Jasper knows who the famous person on next season will be, his plan to get the show renewed having succeeded. Who is this person? You'll have to read the next story to find out...
  • On Genesis' talk page, I had a section where readers could vote for who would receive the Fan Favorite Award. By a vote of 3-1, Riley beat Jasper for the Fan Favorite Award. 
  • If Jasper had won, the final coffee cup would have the wrong name but then be crossed off and Jasper's name above it. 
  • I debated cutting the final scenes of the afterparty, since they were admittedly self-indulgent. I liked the send-off though and felt since I had worked on this story for four years it should get a little tribute. 
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