Chapter 1 - Level Up
Written By: Owenandheatherfan
As the episode opens up, the camera shows Chris McLean wearing sunglasses, lying on a Adirondack chair, shirtless, and drinking what seems to be a pina colada. The camera zooms out, revealing the background - a giant arcade. Chris looks up from his sunglasses, and smiles. "Oh, we're rolling?" The camera moves up and down, most likely meaning that the cameraman is nodding.
Chris removes his sunglasses and stands up. "The thing about Total Drama is that it never ends. I'm your host, Chris McLean, and after a pretty long hiatus, we're finally back with another awesome season of Total Drama!" The camera begins showing parts of the building inside, and it is confirmed that the building is an arcade, because of all of the arcade machines. "You see, with the help of my lawyer, we were able to completely destroy this boring old arcade, and replace with a new mega arcade. Behold, the Chris M'cade! Get it? Like arcade? M'cade? Heh. Anyways, we've gathered twenty brats, I mean, teenagers, to battle it out against each other in arcade related challenges, for a quarter of a million dollars, the most money we've ever offered in a show. Every day, three teams will win immunity, and one team will be left to vote off one of their members. This keeps on going to the merge, where the teams will be dissolved, and it's every man for themselves. Only one will win the grand prize!"
Chris winks at the camera. "So, looking for something awesome to kick off your Summer? We've got it right here, right now on... Total. Drama. Arcade!"
Once the theme song finishes playing, the camera shows Chris McLean smiling with a teal bus next to him. "Our first player is right in here. Let's meet him, shall we? Now, he might be a little odd, but that's just because he's from the jung-"
Chris is interrupted with a boy busting open the bus doors and sniffing Chris loudly. The boy has long, dark brown hair, and wears large leaves instead of pants, and no shirt that reveals three scars on his chest. He also has a necklace made of two sharp jaguar teeth. The boy licks Chris's hair. "What shampoo use you?"
Chris raises an eyebrow. "Um, Brendan is it?"
The boy nods and mindlessly scratches himself. He ignores Chris and walks to the side of the arcade, licks it and smiles. "Taste good!" Chris rolls his eyes, and sighs a breath of relief as the next bus comes.
A girl walks out, with long black hair and purple lipstick. She wears a pale blue tank-top, with a striped blue sweater over it, and silver-blue shorts. She walks over to Chris, and Chris smiles at her. "Any first words?"
The girl looks around and finally back at Chris. "You're really ugly."
Chris frowns and glares at her. "Natasha, right?"
The girls rolls her eyes. "No, my name is Sarah and I'm a young Christian looking for love."
"Yeah, yeah, just stand over there," Chris says with a frown, pointing to Brandon.
Natasha walks over to Brendan and raises an eyebrow, possibly due to his eccentric wardrobe. The two stare at each other in silence, when Brendan suddenly breaks the ice by jumping forward and licking her elbow. Natasha quickly moves her arm away from Brendan and scoffs in annoyance. Chris smirks and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, did I forget to mention that Brendan has lived in the jungle all his life, and was raised by wild animals?"
"So, your mother raised him?" Natasha retorts.
"Ooo," a voice is heard behind Chris. "I think you need some ice for that burn."
Chris looks behind him, and realizes that he was too caught up talking to Natasha to realize that the next bus had arrived, and that a boy has already emerged from it. The boy has long, layered hair rounded around his face, with heavy bangs covering his forehead. "Eddie," Chris smiles. "Hope you're a little more normal than these two," Chris says as he points to Natasha and Brendan.
"Your mom is a little more normal than these two," Eddie says as his pupils dilate and he smiles mischievously. Chris rolls his eyes and points to Natasha and Brendan, signaling that Eddie must walk over to the rest of the competitors. Eddie follows Chris' hand, but says, "Your mom points," as he walks.
"How in the world do you do that with your eyes?" Natasha asks while Eddie shrugs.
Brendan walks to Eddie and smells his pants. All Brendan says is "cheese," before walking away slowly.
Eddie reaches Brendan and Natasha with a confused expression as the next bus arrives. Chris sighs and prepares for the worst. "Hi," a soft feminine voice is heard. "I'm Zoey." The girl walks out of the bus, revealing her long, flowing brown hair. The girl wears a sleeve-less top that sparkles, and pale blue jeans. "Nice to meet you."
Chris smiles. "Zoey! Welcome to the show." Zoey smiles and begins to walk out, only for her sandal to get caught in one of the steps, causing her to violently fall down and onto the pavement. Chris laughs. "Thaaaat's gonna leave a mark."
Zoey picks herself up and glares at Chris. She walks to the other contestant and smiles. "Your mom smiles," Eddie says as he runs around the arcade screaming the word 'burn.'
"Is he always like this?" Zoey asks with an eyebrow raised. Natasha nods, when suddenly Brendan runs to Zoey, and rips a chunk of her hair out. He ignores her shriek and runs away smelling it.
Zoey's shriek, however, is no match for a loud shout that comes from another bus. Everyone's eyes dart to a bus that has just arrived, when suddenly a boy with long, spiky blue hair and white armor jumps out of the bus, shouting loudly and stretching his neck out. The boy kneels and begins shouting even louder, and faces his head upwards. He begins screaming so loud, that his voice starts to strain. The boy then stops and punches the ground while gasping for air.
"Are you constipated?" Natasha says, breaking the silence.
The boy glares at Natasha. "For your information, I'm trying to turn Super Saiyan, okay? I'll turn into one someday, mark my words. And, then, I'll blast each and every one of you into oblivion!"
"Gavin, yeah, quit the role-playing, it's freaking me out," Chris says, motioning Gavin to the rest of the competitors. Gavin scoffs, but walks to everyone. His eyes somehow meet with Zoey, and he begins walking towards her with a seductive look on his face.
"Well, hello there," Gavin flirts. "How would you like to be my Bulma? I'll be your Yamcha any day, girl."
"Oh, please," Zoey says, rolling her eyes. Gavin sighs and accepts his failure. As we walks away, Zoey suddenly says, "Everyone knows Bulma should be with Vegeta." Gavin stops in his tracks and quickly turns around, only to see Zoey smiling. The two run up to each other and hold hands while jumping up and down, screaming unidentifiable words.
"Oh, look who decided to turn on the crazy switch," Natasha scoffs.
"Ohmygawsh, Rexie, where ya' going?!" A high-pitched voice says from a bus that has just arrived. Suddenly, a boy kicks open the bus doors, and runs out. Along with a spiky black mohawk that is dyed red at the tip, the boy wears a red sweater over a black shirt, and dark blue shorts.
The boy runs over to Chris and drops to his knees. "You gotta help me man, you gotta. That girl in there, she–"
Suddenly, a girl with a purple shirt and skirt, long black hair with purple highlights, and black leggings leaps from the bus and tackles the boy to the ground. She ignores his shriek and begins kissing him on the lips multiple times. He manages to push her off of him, and run away behind Chris.
"I just love a little romance," Chris smirks.
The boy glares at Chris. "You put us on the same bus on purpose, didn't you?"
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," Chris shrugs. "But, anyhoo, let's give a warm round of applause to Rex and Skyla." As Skyla is distracted, Rex slowly walks to the other contestants, in order to escape from Skyla's clutches. He manages to reach the other contestants, and positions himself next to Zoey.
"Oh gosh, she seems a little... off, don't you think?" Zoey whispers to Rex.
Rex sighs. "Yeah, she's my ex, but she won't go away. She's totally nuts for me, and to be perfectly honest, I wish she'd just leave."
"Why don't you just tell her to give you some space?" Zoey asks.
"I can't do that," Rex says. "She'll go totally crazy if I say something like that, just like she did when I broke up with her." Suddenly, Skyla leaps on Rex and begins licking his nose, but he manages to push her off just before the next bus arrives.
A short boy opens the door, revealing his curly, brown hair. He wears a teal shirt with the words Aero '87 written on the side in dark blue letters, dark blue jeans, and brown shoes. He speaks, revealing his deep voice. "Yo."
"Whoa," Gavin says with wide eyes.
"Why do you have the voice of a black man?" Natasha says with an eyebrow raised.
The boy shrugs. "So, where are all the hot girls at?" He looks around, until he finally sees Zoey. He smiles, and walks over to her. "Hey, girl, do you work at Subway? Because you're giving me a footlong."
The boy immediately gets slapped in the face by Zoey, causing him to fall backwards, and then onto the pavement. "What, baby, am I too much for you to handle?"
"Ah, Enrico, harassing young girls again," Chris smiles. "Just what I expected from you."
"Hey, man, what's that supposed to mean?" Enrico frowns. "You're just jelly that I get laid a lot."
"Your mom gets laid a lot," Eddie shouts. "By me, hehehe."
"Um, has anyone seen beast boy?" Zoey says with her eyebrow raised. "Brandon? Something like that." Suddenly, a loud howling is heard from above Zoey. Everyone looks up, only to see Brendan on top of the arcade. He jumps down, lands on Zoey, rips a chunk of her hair, and runs away sticking it up his nose.
As if on cue, a bus arrives, carrying the next contestant. "Finally, what's the matter with these slow bus drivers? It's not that long of a drive, only like, 10 miles or so," Chris says with a frown.
"Because that's so short," Natasha says.
"That's what she said," Eddie shouts.
A girl opens the door, revealing her long, red hair. She wears a light blue blouse, and long tight, black pants that end at her ankles along with pink ballerina slippers. She smiles, showing off her dimples. "Ahahaha, I can't believe I'm actually on Survivor," she cluelessly says.
"Uh," Chris says with an eyebrow raised. "You're not on Survivor, you're on Total Drama." The girl raises an eyebrow, causing Chris to facepalm.
"It's like a cheaper version of it," Natasha says, while Chris glares at her.
"Hey, wowza, you're really pretty girly-girl," Enrico says.
"What's that supposed to mean?!" The girl shouts, while sobbing loudly. Chris points to the other contestants, to which the girl stops sobbing, and walks to the others with a smile on her face. She makes it to Zoey, and they both smile, and simultaneously say, "Hey!"
The two raise an eyebrow at the same time, and simultaneously say, "Stop copying me!" They look at each other in awe, and say, once again, at the same time, "How are you... how did you... who are you...?"
"Uh, I'm Zoey," Zoey states.
"Caterina," Caterina says. "Just call me Cat, though."
Brandon appears behind the two, puts his hands on both of their heads, tightens his grip on their hair, rips it out into two large chunks, and runs away sticking it up his nose as the two of them scream in agony.
"So, is this gonna be like a running gag or something?" Natasha says. Brendan shrugs as the next bus arrives.
"Ugh, finally, someone new," Chris says. "You guys are really boring." The bus doors open, only for a slim man to walk out. His hair is finely cut, and his clothes are nothing spectacular, only a red shirt and blue pants. He wears a plastic smile on his face, and walks up to Chris.
The man maintains his smile and in a monotone, says, "Hi, how are you?"
"Oh, God," Chris says. "Jim, welcome to the show."
"Yeah, you're right, Chris," Natasha says. "We're boring. Yep."
As Jim walks to the contestants, he says 'hi, how are you?' to everyone he meets. He eventually goes behind everyone, and disappears with the crowd, which is quite possibly the shortest introduction ever.
"Well, that was odd," Rex says.
"Your mom is odd," Eddie says while jumping into a pile of mud and squirming like a fish out of water.
A new bus arrives, and a boy steps out with messy black hair. He wears a messy dark green coat and black cargo pants. However, the most obscure thing about the boy is his light green skin. The others raise an eyebrow as we walks out. "Well, hello, there."
Chris smiles. "Herbert the troll, welcome to Total Drama Arcade!"
"Troll? I prefer the term 'vandal', thank you very much," Herbert says. "Trolls are those fat little things with stinky feet that live under bridges."
"If that's what a troll is, then I think the term fits perfectly," Natasha says. Herbert sticks his tongue out at her and blows a raspberry. Natasha rolls her eyes at his petty comeback.
Herbert walks to the other contestants and pushes Chris to the floor when he passes him. Chris screams as he falls, and Herbert walks away giggling.
"Well hello, there," Herbert says as he nears Zoey. "Somebody call Heaven, because you're the only ten-I-see," Herbert says with a flirtatious smile. Herbert quickly realizes what he just said, and replies with, "Oh, uh, I mean, are you from Tennessee? Because I just found an angel." Zoey raises an eyebrow, and Herbert walks away muttering something to himself.
Zoey and Caterina smile at each other, when Zoey asks, "Hey, Cat, so, when the competition starts, you wanna be in an alliance together?" Caterina looks at her with a confused expression. "That means, like, we vote together." Caterina still looks confused. "Oh dear, this'll take a while."
Another bus arrives, and Chris sighs, probably because he believes that the contestant will be boring, like Jim and some of the others. A girl slowly opens the door, and she is immidiately gulfed with sunlight. She covers her eyes and walks out of the bus. Her curly blonde hair falls to her shoulders. She wears a red shirt that has a watermelon on it, light purple pants, and colorful shoes. She clears her throat and walks down the steps, and her first words will forever haunt the contestants. "Hey."
"Mariah," Chris smiles. "Finally, someone worth watching."
Mariah rolls her eyes, when Enrico walks up to her. "Gurl, you got the smallest boobs I've ever seen."
She widens her eyes and slaps him across the face. "Excuse me," she shouts.
"What, girl, don't be hatin', I'm just telling the truth," Enrico says. "And I like feisty girls. Rawr."
"Ugh, all men are the same," Mariah says, rolling her eyes. "Except for my sweet, sweet Kyle." Mariah takes out a folded picture that was inside her pocket and unfolds it, revealing a large picture of a boy with messy, brown hair, which is most likely her boyfriend. Mariah rubs the picture on her cheek and purrs.
"Wait, wait, Kyle? Kyle Cameron?" Enrico asks.
Mariah raises an eyebrow. "Yeah... but... how do you know him?"
Enrico walks closer to Mariah and smells her hair deeply. "It seems that we are closer to each other than we think. Me gusta mucho."
Mariah flinches and quickly walks to the other contestants. She reaches Zoey and smiles at her. "Hi, there, Zoey is it? I'm Mariah." Zoey nods. "So, I was wondering, would you like to vote together? I think we'd be an awesome team, don't you think?"
"Sure, I'd like that," Zoey agrees. "But one thing: Caterina has to join us, alright?" Mariah nods as Zoey points to Cat happily spinning around chasing a loose string on her blouse.
Another bus arrives, and a boy with a bright orange and glasses arrives. He wears a lime shirt and navy blue pants, but other than that, he has nothing really spectacular about his image. Instead of talking to anyone, he walks over to Jim. "I knew you were over here."
"Hi, how are you," Jim asks.
"I'm doing good," the boy asks.
"Hi, how are you," Jim asks.
"I'm doing pretty well," the boy replies again.
"Hi, how are you," Jim asks.
"Very well, thank you for asking," the boy replies.
"Nice job, Chris, your contestants are so intense, I'm like in total awe after meeting these totally interesting characters," Natasha says as Chris glares at her.
"Reuben," Chris says, still glaring at Natasha. "Welcome to the show."
Gavin then begins screaming and shouting loudly. He punches the wall behind him and begins to grind his teeth together. When nothing happens he stops, and looks around. "Why is everyone staring at me?"
Another bus arrives, and the doors are quickly opened. A boy runs out with a microphone, jumps off the bus, and begins rapping. "Whaddup, ladies and gentlemen, the name's Epic Lloyd. And anyone who's a big jerk will have to get destroyed. My raps will have your mouth hanging open like a fish, and even though I'm a thug, I can still make a diss. Peace!" Everyone, including Natasha, look at the boy with wide eyes.
"That was... that was amazing," Rex says with awe.
"You're amazing," Skyla says with a smile as Rex rolls his eyes.
Lloyd shrugs. "No biggie."
"No biggie?" Gavin asks. "No biggie? Are you kidding? That was amazing! That was... that was spectacular! That was stunning! That was... um," Gavin then takes out a thesaurus and flips a few pages. "Oh, yeah, that was extraordinary. Nice job -"
"Lloyd," the boy says. "Call me Lloyd."
Instead of the usual bus, a limo drives up to the arcade and parks in the middle of the sidewalk. The driver door opens, and a boy with messy brown hair and glasses wearing a black arcade shirt gets out, and opens the passenger door. A girl with her straight, black hair in a ponytail gets out. She wears a purple shirt and dark purple shorts. She kisses him on the cheek. "Aw, thanks Jacob."
The boy gets back in the car and drives away. The moment he leaves, the girl shouts, "Ugh, he's such a crappy boyfriend and he never gets me anything! I just wanna lock myself in my room and cry!" The contestants look at her with an odd expression.
The girl looks around and spots Mariah. "Mariah? I went into granite to raise you, did you drink? Has God swallowed like gumdrops your oracle eyes? Did the Morpheus blind you like Oedipus? When will we say our goodbyes? I staggered there, melting the rain, did you dry? The sphinx mocked with elegance my ragged woes, do the poles sunk beside you chat very much? Why did we plant you with those? How can I dwell by your graveside? No air, Mausoleums made fossils of spirit, unbreakable teeth gag decay. Why does the stone village hold you? Why don't you chip it away? Who bore you to depths that do not rock you? I curse them, the ocean-still beckons to you. Antigone dances the salt press, caressing our bonds grey and blue, she fires your bones with water, births our defiance anew."
"What?" Mariah asks. "Alyxandra?"
"It means I've missed you, silly," Alyxandra smiles. "And, yeah, it's me."
"What in the world did just say?" Skyla asks.
"It's an original poem made by me," Alyx says. "Would you like to hear some more?"
"Not really," Chris says, pushing Alyxandra off screen.
Another bus arrives, but, unlike a regular bus, it's bright pink and has sparkly letters on it, spelling the words 'Tiffany'. The bus doors open and a girl walks out. Her long blonde hair drops down to her waist, and her pink clothes make her look extremely bright compared to the other contestants. The girl removes her sunglasses and smirks. "Hello, losers."
"Losers?" Mariah says with a snarl.
Tiffany rolls her eyes. "Yeah, you heard me. I bet you losers can't even afford a car. Shame."
"Actually, I have a car," Zoey says. "I drive it pretty well and -"
"Um," the girl says with a confused expression. "Who asked you? Does it look like I care?" Zoey glares at the girl. Tiffany smiles. "That's what I thought."
Mariah growls as the girl walks over to the rest of the contestants. "Tiffany," Chris calls out. "Thanks for being here." Tiffany rolls her eyes and scoffs, as if Chris is less important than her. Chris sighs and sarcastically says, "Thanks for being so considerate."
Natasha frowns. "Hey, dude, sarcasm is my thing."
The next bus arrives as everyone frowns at Tiffany's poor attitude. A girl walks out of the bus carrying an electric guitar. The girl has straight, blonde hair with a pink streak in her hair. Her shirt is white, and semi-ripped, and has small black circles around it. She also wears ripped jeans and blue and red sneakers. She looks at the contestants. "This is the cast, huh? Not bad, not bad."
"Ashlee, welcome to the show!" Chris greets. Ashlee nods and walks to everyone else.
"Hi," Zoey says, holding out her hand. "I'm Zoey.
Ashlee smiles. "Ashlee. Why is everyone so mad?"
Zoey frowns and points to Tiffany. "That person right there."
"Let me guess, bad attitude, and she's a spoiled daddy's girl?" Ashlee asks. Zoey nods and Ashlee raises an eyebrow. "Well, I guess we'll need to do something about that," she says with a smirk. Zoey nods and the two of them glare at Tiffany.
The next bus arrives, and a short boy walks out. His hat covers his eye, and an orange 'Q' is sewed into it. He wears a simple black shirt, and light grey pants. As he walks out, instead of saying anything, the boy just stand there. Everyone stares at the boy, when Rex finally speaks up. "Who's that?"
The boy points to the letter 'Q' on his hat, meaning that is possibly his name. "Q, glad you could make it," Chris confirms. "Thought you were gonna disappear or something."
"Q's a mystery cat: he's called the Hidden Paw," Q speaks. "For he's a master criminal who can defy the law. He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair: For when they reach the scene of crime - Q is not there." The contestants look at Q, baffled when Alyxandra yawns.
"You're nothing special, Q," Alyxandra says. "It's obvious that your 'poem' means that you're just really mysterious and all. And the only reason you act mysterious is because you want to appear as a rebel and impress us all, because you have no friends at home. Yawn."
Q lifts his hat, showing blue eyes for the first time. He frowns at Alyxandra, and then hides his eyes once again.
The next bus finally arrives, and this time, a girl with straight, blonde hair that end at her shoulders walks out. She has an orange shirt that says 'it's over 9000', similar to Gary's shirt. Her pants are light green, similar to Kavren's pants, and they are sagged to her ankles, a style that is done by Devin. She has a tattoo of three dots on her arm - a famous saying that was said, or, not said, by PJ. Her hairstyle is similar to Chrissy, and her hair color is similar to Helga. Her shoes are exactly the same as Manty, and her belt is the same as Donny's. In addition to all these similarities to past contestants on Toad-al Drama, the girl tops it all off with Octavia's wristband.
"Like, oh my god," the girl shouts. "I just love Total Drama School! It's like, totally the best show out there! Did you know that Helga's birthday is August 23rd, and that she shares it with Trick from Total Drama Revolution? Haha, but Helga is three years older. And did you know that Alex has a nipple on his back thigh? It's like, so interesting, and like, that's why he can't wear short shorts. But can you imagine a guy wearing short shorts? Haha, oh my god, that's so roll on the floor laugh out loud! Haha, laughing out loud."
The contestants stare at the girl dumbfounded as she continues. "Did you know that Devin's favorite song is Low? He got that apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur! Hahaha. Laughing out loud, like a bau5."
Chris raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, um, welcome to the show Kathie. Aren't you obsessed with that show that I used to host? The one with all the dweebs in it?"
"But those dweebs are my life! I literally have fanfictions and blogs all about the characters. I mean, no joke, like everyday my stalker cameras catch something they do, and I just need to blog and tweet all about it!" Kathie shouts, taking a phone out of her pocket, and typing something unknown.
Kathie looks up from her phone and smiles. "So, yeah, I totally can't believe I'm on Total Drama. The Total Drama!" Kathie scans the contestants and gasps once she sees Herbert.
"Me?" Herbert asks.
"Oh my God, you're that freaking noob who vandalized the Total Drama School Wiki! You're my worst enemy! I wanna kill you! All the sevens of users on the wiki wanna kill you! Oh my God, I cannot believe it is really ou! You do not know how much I wanna kill you! Get the hell out my sight! Oh my God," Kathie shouts, tackling Herbert and punching him in the face. "I hate you so much, I wanna kill you!"
"Please don't hurt me," Herbert shouts. "I only vandalized because I had nothing better to do!"
"You expect me to believe that?" Kathie shouts, her face red with rage. "You posted nine naked pictures of the beloved Sharissa from Total Drama School! You posted foul language on all of our beloved pages! You took a sweet administrator like Margaretcat07, and wrote a horrible story about her getting eaten by trolls! Then you messaged me and told me to -"
Two large bodyguards interrupt the fighting by pulling Kathie off of Herbert, lifting the two, and placing them into a small room, seemingly so they can fight without annoying any of the other contestants. "Um," Alyxandra speaks. "What just happened?"
Chris shrugs. "Don't know, don't care."
The final bus arrives, and Chris smiles. "I think you'll all like this one."
A girl opens the bus doors, revealing her straight, long, black hair. She wears a purple tank top with ruffles, tight magenta pants, and light purple shoes. Her red pupils, however, seem to stand out more than her odd wardrobe. "Yeah, ah-ah-ah, oo-ooh-ooh-hoo yeah, yeah," the girl sings. "Seven a.m, waking up in the morning, gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs, gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal, seein' everything the time is goin', tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin', gotta get down to the bus stop, gotta catch my bus, I see my friends..."
The girl smiles and takes a microphone out of her pocket. She walks out of the bus and begins singing very off-key. "Kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the back seat - gotta make my mind up, which seat can I taaake?"
The girl stops singing for a moment, looks at everyone, then starts singing extremely loud and off-key. "It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday, everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend -"
"Um," Skyla says with an eyebrow raised. "It's Saturday."
The girl glares at Skyla. "Oh my God, duh, of course I know that, like, it's a song, haven't you heard of my hit song 'Friday'? It got like, over a million views, gosh."
"Hold on a second," Zoey asks. "You're Friday Brown?"
"Your music sucks, girl," Enrico says, causing Friday to glare at him.
"Friday," Chris says. "Welcome to the show. You're our final contestant."
"Well, you know what they say," Friday says while flipping her hair. "They save the best for last."
"But you suck," Tiffany says with a scowl.
The bodyguards that were shown before come back, this time, with Herbert and Kathie. The two are thrown onto the pavement, and the bodyguards leave. Chris smiles, "Welp, that's everyone. Alright, now, some of you may be wondering what'll be happening for the next month or so. Well, it's simple. The twenty of you will be split up into four teams, and each team will have their own dorm on the third floor of the arcade. Every morning, at about, 7:30 or so, you guys will have to wake up and go to the mess hall, which is on the second floor. It's the only room there, so you can't really miss it. Unless you're Brendan, that is."
The camera then switches to the third floor of the arcade, where everyone is staying. "Every three days, the teams will compete in an arcade related challenge. Three teams will win the challenge, and those three will all get immunity. Immunity allows you to be safe from elimination that night. The team in first place will win a special reward, however. Only one team will lose, and that'll kinda suck, because you're gonna have to eliminate someone. Elimination ceremonies will be on the roof of the arcade, and whover is eliminated will have to go down on this really unstable elevator, go on a bus, and leave Total Drama Arcade forever. No returning, no second chances. Now, for teams. When I call your name, stand near that blue door right there."
Chris thinks for a moment. "Q. Mariah. Eddie."
Chris thinks for a moment and then smirks. "Rex and Skyla." Skyla jumps up and down and leaps on top of Rex, kissing him on his forehead. Chris smiles. "You guys will be known as 'The Skee-Balls.' That blue door is the entrance to your dorm, don't forget it."
"Next team. When I call your name, stand next to that green door."
Chris thinks for a moment. "Brendan. Jim. Natasha. Ashlee. Tiffany."
As Tiffany walks over to the green door, Ashlee glares at her. Chris smiles and says, "You guys will be known as the Crane Machines, and that green door is the entrance to your dorm. Don't forget it."
Chris collects his thoughts. "The next team will stand next to that orange door."
"Alyxandra. Friday. Gavin. Caterina. Reuben." Chris nods. "You guys will be known as, 'The Whac-a-Moles.' That orange door will be the entrance to your dorm. Like I said before, don't forget it. And now, for the final team. You guys, stand near that purple door."
"Zoey and Enrico. Lloyd. Kathie and Herbert."
Chris begins laughing loudly at his choices, knowing the conflicts the team will have. "And you guys will be called... Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot." Zoey widens her eyes and Chris shrugs. "Enrico suggested it, blame him."
"Now," Chris speaks. "In every floor and dorm, there will be a black door with a TV on it. That will be the confessional. The confessional is basically a sound-proof bathroom where you guys can just speak your mind. You can say whatever you want, it doesn't matter, it will not be released to the other contestants, just the audience. Whatever is said in the confessional is completely confidental, so don't worry about anyone gaining that knowledge but me and the fans at home. Give it a try."
Alyxandra (CONF): Man, I effing love unicorns. They're so awesome. Ew, what am I saying? They're horrible. Lost. Lost my soul. Can anything save it. Does anyone know. Lost my heart. As I slowly watch my world fall apart. And lost one child's innocence. From this world its left to surrenederence.
Ashlee (CONF): I guess this won't be too bad. The contestants seem pretty easy to beat. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to win. That Tiffany girl, though, she rubs me the wrong way. I'll make sure she's out first.
Brendan (CONF): (looks at camera blankly, then sniffs toilet paper and eats bar of soap) Yum, yum, yum in my tum, tum, tum.
Caterina (CONF): Ahaha, this is such an awesome experience, ahaha, I can't believe I'm actually on here, and ahaha I really... is that a spider? Ahaha, I love spiders.
Eddie (CONF): Your mom speaks in the confessional.
Enrico (CONF): Ey, this place has a lot of hot girls, and I know they can't resist me, I'm just too sexy. That Friday girl hurts my ears, though.
Friday (CONF): Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, Friday, Friday, gettin' down on Friday -
Gavin (CONF): (shown screaming loudly and punching the wall)
Herbert (CONF): (has scars and cuts everywhere on his face) That Kathie girl needs to go, she's hurting me too much. I'll just keep trolling her until she's gone.
Jim (CONF): I like puppies.
Kathie (CONF): Oh my god, I cannot believe Herbert is here, I'm gonna kill him if he doesn't go home first, he has to be gone, like oh my god, I hate him so much.
Lloyd (CONF): Bein' a good amount of years older than everyone else, I do believe I can win this. I just gotta be cool.
Mariah (CONF): Zoey and Caterina actually think I'm gonna take them with me to the finals. Ha. As if. I'm just using them for votes. I'm going to rule this game, and if anyone gets in my way, I'll make sure they're gone. These losers will never know what hit 'em.
Natasha (CONF): Well, my team sucks, so I guess it's up to me to win challenges. I'm positive I'm gonna win, but there are some people who I have to keep an eye on. Tiffany and Mariah mainly.
Q (CONF): There once was a man in Peru, whose name was most definitely Q. He went to a show, and said that he'd know, that everyone else would just looo...se.
Reuben (CONF): I know everything, and I know I'm going to win.
Rex (CONF): Oh my gosh, I cannot believe Skyla is here. Ugh. I'm pretty sure she still loves me, and by the end of the competition, she better hate my guts and leave me alone.
Skyla (CONF): Oh my gosh, I cannot believe Rexie is here! Eee! I'm pretty sure he still loves me, and by the end of the competition, he will be mine!
Tiffany (CONF): Ugh, these people seem so stupid. I'm totally gonna win, they should just give me the money now, it's not like any of these losers stand a chance.
Zoey (CONF): Wow, I can't believe I'm actually here. I think I'll do pretty good, thanks to Mariah. She seems really trustworthy, and she's gonna take Cat and I to the finals! Speaking of Cat, I really think we're gonna be good friends! So far, so good.
Chris smiles. "It's time for the first challenge. Everyone, follow me." The contestants follow Chris to a large navy blue room. The walls have many twists and turns, possibly meaning that the room is a giant maze. At the entrance, four large bodyguards await, all in different colors: red, orange, yellow and light blue. On the floor, there are small yellow pills. The camera goes to a birds eye view, confirming that the room is in fact a large maze.
The contestants realize that the challenge will be a parody of Pac-Man, and that the bodyguards will be the enemies. But, in a flash, spikes emerge from the floor, and the contestants gasp. Chris snickers maniacally. "Chef and I didn't think Pac-Man was too dangerous, so we put our own spin on it." The contestants glare at Chris as he speaks. "Who will prevail? Who will fail? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Arcade!"
Chapter 2 - Pacmania
Written By: Toadgamer80
"Last time on Total Drama Arcade," Chris begins. "The contestants were acquainted with each other. We met some really nice people, some really mean ones, and some who are just really messed up. Yeah, that's basically three-fourths of the cast. Today, they'll be competing in their first challenge, but if you think we're gonna go easy on them... Think again! Who will prevail? Who will fail? Find out the answers to these questions and more, on Total... Drama... Arcaaaaade!"
The contestants, Chris, and the four bodyguards are shown in the same exact spot that the last episode left off, in front of a large, spiked maze.
"So, uh, what exactly are we supposed to do now? Are we gonna just stand here for the whole day?" inquires Natasha.
"I hope we play football. Football is really fun," says Jim blandly. Natasha and some others exchange glances at him.
"Your mom thinks football is really fun," says Eddie rudely. "Ahuhuhuhu." Everyone looks at him, and he just shrugs.
After a long pause, Chris then says, "So, you guys know the rules of the challenge, right? Because I don't wanna waste my time explaining."
"No, we really don't know," says Ashlee. "Why can't we do something cooler, like Keytar Hero or something?"
"Shhh, that will be later in the competish," says Chris. Ashlee grins happily.
Chris tosses each of the teams a foam Pac-Man costume, and then begins to explain. "Each team will pick one person to be the protagonist. There will be magnets in the costumes, and the other team members will have larger magnets which they will use to control the player. The object of the challenge is to avoid the bodyguards," he points to the four buff men, who wave, "and get as many pills as you can."
"Eh, sounds pretty easy to me, huh, team?" asks Rex, who's holding the Pac-Man costume.
Mariah slaps him. "Never say that until you know it's gonna be easy, otherwise you'll jinx it!" she says. "Now give me that effing costume." She snatches the costume from Rex.
Rex (CONF): That Mariah chick scares me, man, I think there's somethin' goin' on with her, like she's a villain or somethin'. Is it jus' me, or is she worse than Skyla? (a short pause) Nah, that ain't possible.
Chris is still explaining the challenge, while most contestants look bored. "If you happen to snag one of the big pills, you'll turn super fast for 20 seconds. You'll be able to dodge to bodyguards, and even if you touch them, you won't lose. The team with the highest score who goes the longest without being eaten wins invincibility, and the losers... I'll see you at elimination." He chuckles evilly. "Oh, and, don't those spikes unless you like being impaled."
The camera zooms to Team ZIRRRRH, who is standing there with Herbert holding the Pac-Man costume and everyone else looking on.
Herbert begins to move his mouth and hands in a mocking way, possibly imitating Kathie.
"Oh, guy, do you wanna fight again? Because I got a whole 'nother--" Kathie is cut off by one of the bodyguards, who clears his throat, and then stands behind her with his arms crossed intimidatingly.
Zoey (CONF): Aww, Enrico is really annoying me here. I hope he's off soon, I don't really like him at all, and then there's those two Wiki people, who just fight and say weird stuff. Lloyd seems to be the most normal person here. I'm so sad that my two friends, Mariah and Caterina, are on different teams!
"Hey, Zoey, wanna buy some heroin? 20% off today, it's a special Teammate Bargain," says Lloyd, holding up a backpack with suspicious things in it.
Zoey (CONF): ...Forget about what I said about Lloyd being normal. I mean, he is, other than the heroin selling and rapping...
Herbert is then shown with the Pac-Man costume on his body, although it's girlish and has a bow on it, while he's scowling.
"Chris, you jerk, why do I have to be the chick character? Am I girlish in any way?" whines Herbert.
"No, we just like switching things up a bit," says Chris. "You're going for ZIRRRRH, correct?" Herbert nods. "And for the Crane Machines?"
"Brendan goes?" asks Brendan to his teammates.
"Uh, Brendan, you're good at sports or whatever, right?" asks Ashlee. Brendan nods. "Then sure, you can go." Brendan makes a whooping sound.
Chris tosses Brendan the Pac-Man costume. Brendan yells something like "NERP!" and tears the costume to shreds.
"Maybe that wasn't the best choice," Ashlee then says.
"All right, losers, maybe I should go," says Tiffany. "After all, I am the greatest."
"Yeah, the greatest at being annoying and rude," mutters Natasha.
"Don't hate me cause you ain't me," Tiffany scoffs. "Seriously, dude. Your clothes are trash, and your hair looks like it hasn't been brushed for ten years. You need a new wardrobe, unless you like looking like a turd."
"Actually, that was the style I was going for," Natasha says sarcastically.
"I want to go," says Jim blandly. "I like doing stuff."
"Come on, see what you've done, Tiffany?" Ashlee glares. "He probably runs really averagely or whatever."
"I did absolutely nothing," scoffs Tiffany. "Just let me do it." She yanks the costume away from Jim, and everyone sighs in relief.
The camera moves to the Skee Balls. "Who's gonna go for us?" asks Mariah. "It's totally not gonna be me."
"We shoot you down, but you won't fall, I am Q," says Q cryptically.
"I think he's trying to say that you already volunteered to do it, like five minutes ago," Rex says.
"Your mom already volunteered to do it five minutes ago," Eddie immaturely says. "You hopefully know what I mean by 'do it'."
"Eddie, you are not funny, nor will you ever be," Mariah snaps. "So stop trying, and please do work in this challenge. Do it for my Boo."
"Awwww, who's your Boo?" Skyla gushes. "Rexie was once mine. Until he did bad stuff."
"'Ey, I did nothin'! You was the one who cheated on me, girl! Seriously!" pleads Rex.
"Come here, you!" screams Skyla. Rex shakes his head and begs. Skyla leans in and starts to tickle Rex, while he screams in agony.
"What the crap is wrong with our team?" asks Mariah sweetly, but her words suggest she's not happy. "They need to focus."
"Your mom needs to focus on how I made her preggers last night," Eddie retorts.
"Anywhere I go, things are looking slow, every time I walk, people like to talk," chants Q mysteriously.
Eddie (CONF): Uh, I hate that Q guy. I don't know anything he says, he makes me look so stupid. He's so annoying, more so than your mom.
On the Whac-A-Moles' side of the arcade, Reuben attempts to lead his team. "OK, I know we're gonna win, and I also know who's gonna be our Pac-Man. It's gonna be the weird blue-haired guy."
Gavin is shown clenching his fists in agony and screaming things in Japanese.
"How about somebody different, like maybe me? Because not only am I an amazing and super awesome singer, I'm, like, totally good at challenges, yeah," Friday says.
Gavin takes a break from his yelling and says calmly, "I beg to differ. Say, what about Alyxandra?"
"I know that she doesn't want to do it. Plus, we shouldn't disturb her," Reuben replies. "She looks like she's concentrating."
Alyx is crouched down, jotting down things in a book furiously. She looks up, noticing her teammates. "Oh, hey, guys. Isn't it super pretty out today? The sun is so bright and... I mean... Death on the beach. The bodies come writhing out of the ocean and onto the shore... Gone. The whole beach. Possessed."
"Oh my gosh, guys, did you know that my brother went to an arcade once? Yeah, and when he went to get a candy bar from the vending machine, a hand came out and grabbed him, then stabbed him! Hehe, my brother is so weird," Caterina explains.
"I knew that," says Reuben in response. "I was there."
Caterina (CONF): OMG, Reuben is soooo creepy! I think I'm scared of him!
"The challenge starts in five minutes, everyone, so be prepared!" Chris announces to the teams.
Mariah is shown, attempting to give her team a pep talk. "Okay, guys. Remember, don't let those bodyguards chase you, no matter what. If they get close, I don't know, kick them in the balls or something. Try to get as many pills as you can get. Is this clear?"
"Uh, Mariah, I thought you was gonna be th' Pac-Man. Or Pac-Woman. Whateva'," Rex replies.
Mariah growls. "Ugh, that's right. Here, Rex, you can do it." She tosses the pac-man costume to Rex, who catches it in shock.
"Aw, c'mon, I don't wanna!" Rex says angrily. "Why are you the boss?"
"Jeez, take a chill pill, muchachos," says Eddie in response to Rex and Mariah.
"Just do it!" Mariah yells. She then blinks and looks shocked. "...For me?" She attempts to make a cute face.
"Agh, a'ight. Only fo' you, though," says Rex. "I can't resist nothin'."
Skyla slaps Rex. "Get your eyes away from that dirty scumbag, Rexie-poo! You love ME!"
"Please, Skyla! Uh... I have a gun! And a restraining order! Which totally didn't expire yesta'day!" Rex screams.
"Why would you say that?" asks Mariah, confused.
On the Crane Machines' side, Ashlee says to Tiffany, "Just... Try not to mess anything up, okay?"
"Hehehehehehehe," giggles Tiffany obnoxiously. "You know, the camera loves me. I can't help anything I do."
Ashlee (CONF): Sometimes, I just want to slap that girl in the face.
Team ZIRRRRH is then shown. "I really do not want to do this," whines Herbert. "You guys are such jerks."
"Jerks? Jerks? We're the jerks?!" We weren't the ones who made a ridiculously attractive sockpuppet so we could fool every single person on the wiki into thinking we were a handsome British boy!" yells Kathie. "I'm still emotionally damaged by that!"
"Um, yeah. Well, Herbert, the rest of our team is special, so you're our best bet," Zoey responds.
Enrico is seen staring at Zoey. "Yo, babe. What size cup do you have?"
Zoey looks at Enrico with shifty eyes, and slowly backs away from him.
"Relax, Herb, you'll be fine, just remember, it's only a game. Got it?" Lloyd says, attempting to pep up Herbert.
"Yeah, whatever," grumbles Herbert. "I still hate you all. Especially her." He points to Kathie, who mutters a dirty word.
On the Whac-a-Moles' side, Reuben says, "All right. I know we're gonna win. Let's do this."
"Well, at least your attitude is good, and that's always the key to winning!" squeals Alyxandra. "Friday, you ready?"
"Never been more ready in my life, gurl," responds Friday. "I got this."
Chris claps his hands, and an explosion is heard. Several contestants jump in shock. "All righty, the challenge is about to begin! Which team would like to volunteer, and get it over with?"
"We totally do," says Mariah. "Right, guys? You're ready, Rex?"
Rex is shown trembling and sweating. "Uh, I dunno, 'Riah. I'm not sure if I can--"
Chris then interrupts Rex. "Very well, thanks for volunteering, Rex!" He hands Eddie, Q, Mariah, and Skyla magnets, and directs them to the upper balcony. "This is where you'll be directing Rex, just point the magnet in the direction you want him to go." The contestants nod in understanding. "And Rex, don't worry, everything will be fine!"
"Yeah, you always say that, and it's--" Rex responds, but is once again interrupted by Chris, yelling "3... 2... 1... GO!" The gates open, and Rex is sent hurtling into the maze.
"Whooooooah!" yells Rex, as he bumps into a wall violently. "Take it easy, guys!"
"Oh, and there is no time limit, just collect as many pills as you can before you get touched by a bodyguard!" Chris yells. "Got it?"
Mariah is attempting to control Rex in the balcony. "Uh, okay, and then he goes left... Oh, crap, a bodyguard! Moving right..."
"This will not end well..." Mariah worries, while dazed on the floor. Her, Eddie, and Q watch as Skyla violently controls Rex, making him swerve and take sharp turns.
Rex has swirls in his eyes, but is still violently running. "Uhhh. Feelin' kinda dizzy... Skyla, c'mon, take it easy there..."
"I don't even know how someone can control him with just a magnet..." Q whispers. "It's a cartoon, you tool, get over it!" Eddie responds, jerkishly.
Rex continues running, although against his will. He picks up a few pills, (Ooh, pills!") then puts them in his pocket. "Jus' gotta find that big pill so I can eat the..." While Rex is running, a bodyguard appears in front of him.
"OMG! Bodyguard! Gotta make a run fo' it!" Rex squeals, as he sprints away. The bodyguard tries to make intimidating noises, but fails.
Rex then stops. "Phew, no bodyguard goons here who'll try t' get me," he says. Then, a voice says, "Oh, really?" Rex turns around and screams extremely loudly as the bodyguard tags him.
"Aw, come on, Rex!" screams Mariah. "I mean... At least you tried, and that always counts."
"Your mom always counts the number of--" Eddie yells. "Shut up, Eddie," everyone says.
Rex emerges from the maze, and slumps down on the ground. "And I didn't even get any of those big pill thingies. Darn."
Chris walks up to him. "Rex and the Skee-Balls, your score is... 47 pills. Will the Crane Machines beat that?"
"Hey, who said we were going next?" Ashlee protests. "I did," says Chris. "Tiffany, ready?"
"Oh, like, yeah, totally! I can do this!" yells Tiffany enthusiastically. The gates open, the rest of the Crane Machines are hurtled into the balcony, and Tiffany is thrown into the maze.
"Okay, so who's gonna control?" asks Ashlee. "It should probably be someone who's--" Brendan interrupts Ashlee, and pushes her aside to get to the lever. Ashlee gets back up, and nudges Brendan off. "YEEP!" yells Brendan, and he randomly falls asleep on the ground.
"I like sleeping too, I do it every night for 8 to 12 hours," Jim says.
"Whoo-hoo, yeah, we're totally going to win," Natasha groans. "You go, Brendan. Bring our team home."
Natasha (CONF): Like, I know that not everyone on our team is the brightest bulb, but do I really have to be stuck with these Neanderthals? Ashlee's cool, I suppose, then there's Brendan and Jim, who I have no comment on. And of course Tiffany.
"I think Tiffany is doing a good job," Jim says. "I like our team."
Tiffany is shown running through the maze. She then randomly stops.
"Wait, what just happened?" Ashlee yells. "Tiff, keep running! Why isn't the magnet working?"
"Oh, you mean this thingy?" Tiffany says, holding up what's left of the magnet. "I destroyed it. You know, I prefer working at my own pace. Hehehe!"
"All right, that's fine, just make sure to avoid all of the enemies! And sprint super fast!" Ashlee responds.
"Sprinting is always super fast, that's why it's called sprinting," replies Natasha. "I don't need that right now, Natasha," Ashlee says irritatedly.
"Oh, this is a lot cooler!" Tiffany yells, sprinting through the maze. "And no bodyguards in sight!"
Natasha slaps her head. "Perfect. She just jinxed it."
Tiffany leaps through the maze, and grabs a gigantic pill. "Ooh, this is the thing that makes you big and able to eat the bodyguards! Yay!" She eats it, and suddenly becomes ridiculously fast.
A bodyguard is sitting in the middle of the maze, reading "Playboy". Tiffany sprints past him, and knocks him away so hard that he ends up flying out of the maze.
"That's more like it!" Ashlee cheers on Tiffany from the balcony.
"Why would that bodyguard be reading Playboy...?" Natasha wonders.
"I sometimes read magazines too, but I mostly read People. I like people. Don't you?" Jim responds.
"Actually, no, I despise people, that's why I'm with a bunch of them right now," Natasha snarks.
There is a silence. Jim then says, "You're pretty." Natasha rolls her eyes.
Tiffany is shown running to the gate, and she then escapes from the maze and collapses on the ground.
"Tiffany, how did you do? You looked awesome out there, I'll give you that," Ashlee says.
Ashlee (CONF): I hate Tiffany. But whatever, she was all right for that challenge. I'm still gonna go out of my way to make sure she's home early, though. And I mean early. Ugh, I wish Damian was here, he totally knew me. (pause, becomes shocked) Yeah, because Damian is totally my, uh, psychiatrist! Wait, then people will I... Uh, kay, he's the drummer in my band! Which I just formed five seconds ago. Yeah, that works. Band. Awesome. Back to Tiffany.
"Tiffany, congratulations, you have beat the Skee Balls with a score of... 48 pills. That places the Skee Balls last, and you guys first. Whac-a-Moles, time to go! Who will be representing?" Chris says.
"Oh, I wanna go! Pick me!" giggles Caterina.
"Um, back off, sista. I'm going," Friday says aggressively. "KK!" Caterina chortles.
"Friday, you're going? All right, Whac-a-Moles, the rest of you can go get in the balcony and control her," says Chris, and he leads the others to the balcony. "3... 2... 1... GO!"
Friday zooms off into the maze. While she runs, she begins to sing. "Weren't you the one who saaaaid... That I would be nothiiiiin'... Well, I'mma 'bout to prove you wrooooong!"
"NOOO!" yells Gavin. "This will halt my transformation!"
"OMG, she's such a bad singer, hahaha," Caterina says happily.
"I know that she's totally going to fail and become an alcoholic when she grows up," says Reuben. "Had a vision about it last night."
"I had a vision about when I died. The Grim Reaper rose out of the ocean, disguised as a gigantic piranha, and swallowed me whole. Then everything was black," Alyxandra says. The others move away from her.
"Once, my brother went fishing, and a piranha bit him in the unmentionables, ahaha," Caterina recites. "True story."
"Wait, who is controlling Friday?!" yells Gavin. "FRIDAY! WATCH OUT!"
"Which seat can I taaaaaaaaaaaaaa--" sings Friday, until she crashes into a bodyguard. "Oh, what's up? Do you like my music? Everyone does, heh."
The bodyguard grumbles something, then chucks her out of the maze and she falls down in front of Chris.
The other Whac-a-Moles come out. "WHAT WAS THAT?!" yells Gavin. "Even Admiral Akainu from Two Whole is a better person than you! AND HE KILLED LUFFY'S BROTHER ACE! WHO WAS A FAN FAVORITE!"
"You know what, you're just jelly of my amazing skills," Friday brags. "Cause I'm so hot and talented, uh-huh."
"Wanna hear some talent?" asks Caterina. Friday giggles rudely. Caterina then begins to sing, and she sings beautifully, like the voice of an angel.
"Huhuh, Mary Sue much?" Gavin says. "Wait, no, she doesn't have half of the defining qualities. Ignore everything I just said!"
"Oh, your voice is awesome, Cat!" Friday says. "Not. LAWLZORZ!!!!1111"
"... So, Chris, how many pills did we get?" Alyxandra asks. Chris makes a "1" sign with his hand, and Alyxandra swears.
"Finally is Team ZIRRRRH!" Chris says. "Ready, Herbert?"
Chris looks over to Herbert. "Uh..." says Herbert. He then pretends to fall on the ground, straight on his face. "OW!"
"Oh, you poor thing, should I go instead of you?!" Zoey says. "I'll totally go."
"That would be awesome..." Herbert says, pretending to sound hurt.
Herbert (CONF): Hehe. What a sucker. Eh, gotta give her points for being a sexy babe, though. I'm telling you, this is a cool team. Except Enrico. He's a cool guy and all, but he's really hurting my chances with the ladies. Wait, he can take Kathie, I hate that psycho. I got dibs on Zoey, maybe I can show her that erotic fanfiction I wrote about me and Margaretcat07 last September. I could easily change it to be about her. Hehehe.
Zoey puts on the Ms. Pac-Man costume. "I'm ready!" she says happily. Chris counts down from 3, opens the gate, and the other team members begin to control her. "Whoa, this is fun!" says Zoey happily, as she sprints through the maze. She narrowly dodges a bodyguard and keeps picking up pills.
"Keep goin', Zoey! You got this!" Lloyd says, cheering on Zoey.
"I'll have an intimate moment with you in bed if you win the challenge!" yells Enrico. He gets some glances from others.
"Heh, she's good," Chris says, watching Zoey go through the challenge with ease. "Too good, it seems. Drake, replace the pills."
An intern with a red shirt quickly takes one of the pills from the maze, throws it out, and puts a red pill in there in place of the original one. He gives a thumbs up, but is trampled by Zoey, who sprints past him at lightning speed. "Ow."
Zoey grabs the pill while running, and pops it into her mouth. She feels a sharp taste in her mouth, and slowly begins to grow "Oh, crap, what's happening?!" she says, while trying to avoid the bodyguards.
"What are you doing to her?" Kathie asks. Chris responds, "We thought that this challenge wasn't hard enough."
"But it's the first challenge, you gotta start somewhere," says Lloyd.
"Well, remember the first challenge in TDI? Yeah, jumping off a cliff, wasn't it? With man-eating freshwater sharks? Did that look easy?" asks Chris.
"I could take it on," Lloyd says.
Chris looks frustrated. "All right, drop down and let's see 50 push-ups," says Chef, barging in and throwing Chris aside. "Now, or you maggots will lose th' challenge."
Lloyd shrugs, and gets down on the ground, and then starts to do push-ups.
"Aw, come on, Dakota again? That made me stop watching TDROTI," Ashlee says. "It wasn't even good to begin with."
"MOVE!" she yells, stepping on the bodyguards and grabbing pills. "THIS PILL MINE!"
"Wow, it's like she turned into Brendan," Natasha comments from the sidelines.
Zoey continues to roar, and she picks apart the maze. She then grabs almost every single pill, stomps on the bodyguards, and falls over in pain.
"Well, looks like she got... 69 pills!" Chris says. Enrico giggles. "Haha, so funny," Natasha says.
They all walk over to Zoey, who's now back to her normal self, but is dazed and on the ground.
"Wh-what just happened?" she asks, waking up. "Did I do all that?"
"Yeah, you did, and it was awesome!" Herbert says. "C'mon, give us some sugar." Herbert and Enrico move in to hug Zoey, but she walks away in disgust.
"So, did we win?" asks a sweaty Lloyd, finished with his push-ups.
"Yeah, you guys did, with 69 points!" Chris says, while Enrico laughs hysterically to the point where there are tears coming out of his eyes.
"And, lemme guess, we lost?" Alyxandra concludes with an eyebrow raised.
"I'm afraid so," says Chris. "Sorry, Alyx. Time to go to the Arcade Roof Ceremony and vote off a player!"
Friday (CONF): Lemme guess, I'm staying in the game. Hehe, the fans love me, what can I say?
Chris is shown at the roof of the arcade. It is nighttime, and there is a makeshift campfire in front of five stumps where the contestants are sitting. A porta-potty is used as the voting booth, and stairs lead back down to the main arcade. "This season, if you manage to not get eliminated, you'll get a special gold coin. But, if you're the loser..." He opens up a gray padlocked box. "You get this "GAME OVER" pass, which basically means they can't come back. Ever. The following players are safe. Gavin, Alyxandra, and Caterina."
Gavin and Caterina cheer for joy as they catch their gold coin and give each other a high-five. Alyxandra sits there, with a blank expression on her face as her gold coin is thrown onto the floor.
"Reuben and Friday. I don't even know what to say about either of you two, but you don't seem to be the most popular contestants of the season. The 'GAME OVER' pass goes to...."
"Reuben. Sorry, bud, but you're out." Chris throws him the pass, which he crumples in his hand.
"What?! But I knew I could win! You guys all suck, you know that? You just voted out your most valuable player. I now know that your team will crash and burn without me, and that's a fact. Just watch. Toodle-oo, suckers," Reuben yells.
"Your vehicle of transportation will be the Spin of Shame," Chris says. "Try to not throw up. You'll be thrown onto a boat, that will take you back home. Maybe. I don't know. I got the drivers off of Craigslist."
"I swear, this isn't the last of me! You all know that I'll be back, seeking my revenge on you crappy idiots who call yourselves a team!" yells Reuben. Chef comes and pushes Reuben into the machine. He throws up as he is spinned around, and is eventually thrown onto a boat. The contestants stare as the boat drives away into the sunset. Reuben is heard screaming.
"Knew those darn drivers weren't safe," Chef says with a shrug.
Alyxandra (CONF): Eh, whatever. Reuben was quite annoying. I think everything he said was crap, though, because everyone on this team is so nice! And I think I'm a likable person, right?
Caterina (CONF): Ahaha, Reuben was silly, and he totally didn't know all that stuff. He reminds me of my uncle Sarah. Ahahaha.
Friday (CONF): Whoo. That was close. Maybe they just don't like my singing because they can't sing as much as me. Whatever the case is, I have to be less annoying... (long pause) ...A PERSON OF INTEREEEEEEST!
Gavin (CONF): My goals this season? To turn Super Saiyan, to win the money so I can spend it all on cool new anime box sets, and to watch the entire first season of Halfalloy Wizard on my uPad. Pretty easy goals. Ha.
"Who will be the next contestant voted out? What sort of authentic arcade challenges will we think of? Will any more interns get brutally maimed? Find out next week, on Total... Drama... Arcaaaade!"
Chapter 3 - Highway Frogs
Written By: Owenandheatherfan
"Last time on Total Drama Arcade," Chris begins. "The four teams competed in their very first challenge - Pacman. Rex, Friday, and Tiffany all competed in the challenge, but none of them stood a chance against Zoey, or, should I say monster Zoey. After eating a large red pill instead of a large blue one, or a small yellow one, Zoey turned into this giant blue monster or something, and totally destroyed our set. She managed to get every single pill, and so she won for her team. Since the Whac-a-Moles only got one pill, they were sent to the dreaded elimination ceremony, where Reuben was eliminated. What challenges will the teams have to overcome today? Who will join Reuben in loser-dome? And, more importantly, will Chef actually say more than six words? Find out the answer to these questions, and more, on this episode of... Total... Drama... Arcade!"
The episode opens up with the Whac-a-Moles walking to their dorms. "Ugh, I can't believe we lost," Alyxandra says. "It's all your fault, Friday. Even if we weren't controlling you, you were perfectly capable of moving on your own, you were just too busy singing your crappy songs."
Fridays gasps. "Excuse me? I thought you guys were controlling me, how was I supposed to know to run on my own? And, my songs are beautiful, thank you very much. Everyone in my family loves them, even my pet turtle."
"Ugh, take your songs and stick them up your–" Alyxandra stops for a moment, and then smiles. "I love turtles! They're so adorable, I vomit every time I see one."
"... What?" Gavin asks.
The team eventually reaches their dorm, and almost all the contestants go to sleep. Back at Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot's dorm, a knock is heard at the door. Zoey slowly goes to open it, as to not wake up her fellow teammates. Zoey opens the door, only to see Mariah, along with Caterina. "Yeah?" Mariah motions for Zoey to follow her. The three go to the empty mess hall.
Mariah sighs. "Okay. We have to talk strategy. The thing is, we're all on different teams. That's fine, because if we want to vote someone out, one person from the alliance who's on that team can talk to everyone and ask them to eliminate said person. But, there are four teams, but only three of us. Get where I'm going with this?"
"You mean," Zoey asks. "We should ask another person to join us?"
"Yeah, but only temporarily," Mariah says. "Only up until the merge. Then we can eliminate that person and stick together. Now, we need someone from the Crane Machines. None of us here are from the Crane Machines. Does anyone have any ideas? I was maybe thinking Natasha."
Zoey responds, "There's no way she'll do it, she probably doesn't care too much about winning." Mariah nods to show the two that Natasha is out of the question. Caterina thinks for a moment. "Hey, I know, why not Brendan? He's just sooo funny and he might be a little cute too. Hehehe."
"No, he's too wild," Zoey responds.
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Caterina shouts. Mariah and Zoey shush Caterina, and she responds with a very soft 'sorry'. The three think for a moment.
Zoey brightens up. "Hey, I know! Why not Ashlee? She hates Tiffany, right? Well, if we tell her that Tiffany is voting for her, not only will she want to vote Tiffany off, but she'll also feel a little scared of being eliminated. We can then tell her if she votes with us, we'll vote Tiffany off. She'll have some closure, and she'll vote with us. If we ever need her, then she'll feel like she owes us for voting off Tiffany, and she'll do whatever we want!"
Mariah (CONF): Zoey is way too smart. She single-handily made a plan to manipulate Ashlee's insecurity to our benefit. She's a mastermind, that's for sure, but she's too naive, and I plan on using that to my advantage. She's safe for now, but once the teams get dissolved, she is gone.
"That's perfect," Mariah says while snapping her fingers. The next morning, the four teams are awoken by a loud air horn. The dorm doors open, and the teams walk out, some half-asleep, some in their pajamas, and some passed out on the floor. "Ugh," Tiffany frowns. "It's 4 in the morning, and I need my beauty rest."
"Doesn't look like it's working," Ashlee says with a snicker.
"Look who's talking, ghetto trash," Tiffany says while narrowing her eyes at Ashlee. "Go back to the gutter where you belong. It's obvious that no one here likes you."
"Dis gon b gud," Eddie says, eating from a bucket of popcorn.
Ashlee walks closer to Tiffany and lifts up her fist. "You wanna go toe to toe with me, you prissy snob? All you do is yap your big mouth and act out for attention. You said that no one here likes me? I almost guarantee everyone here hates you. Stop being so stuck-up and shut your mouth."
Tiffany smirks. "Make me."
Before Ashlee can do anything, Chef Hatchet walks in between them and pushes the two aside. "I know it's early, but I want everyone to meet me downstairs in the lobby for the challenge. You guys have ten minutes to get ready." The contestants groan and some walk back in their dorms to get prepared for the day. "But," Gavin says with a sigh. "I need my rest if I'm gonna master all four elements. It's not easy being the Avatar, you know."
The scene is changed to the lobby, where the contestants are staying. Chris leads them outside to a very busy road. Cars and trucks swivel and turn, almost hitting the contestants. Loud honks are heard, and the contestants try to dodge the cars, even though they are on a sidewalk. Chris snickers as the contestants walk backwards and glare at him. Chris says, "Today's challenge will be based off of the famous arcade game, Frogger." Some contestants look at him in confusion.
"Frogger is an arcade game introduced in 1981," Chris begins. "It was developed by Konami, and licensed for worldwide distribution by Sega/Gremlin. The object of the game is to direct frogs to their homes one by one. To do this, each frog must avoid cars while crossing a busy road and navigate a river full of hazards. "
"You got that off Wikipedia," Natasha says.
"Shut up," Chris retorts. "The reason you guys are competing so early is because the road is the most busiest during this time. Your team will be squeezed inside a frog costume, and tied together. You will have to work together to avoid the cars and trucks. If you manage to not get run over, you'll reach the river, where you'll have to jump onto the backs of turtles, and then jump onto logs. Try not to fall into the crocodile-infested waters, you know, unless you wanna get eaten alive. Now, be careful, the logs are only capable of holding one person - three of four will make it quickly sink. There are four teams, however, when you reach the other side, there will be three large lily-pad, and only three. This is a race - whichever three teams get a lily-pad first will be safe for the day. One team, however, will be sending someone on the Spin of Shame and onto the Boat of Losers."
Chris continues. "Now, remember, you guys only have three tries at this. Running into road vehicles, jumping into the river's water, running into snakes, otters or into a crocodile's jaws in the river, jumping into a home invaded by a crocodile, staying on top of a diving turtle too long, jumping into a lily-pad already occupied by a team, jumping into the side of a home or the bushes or running out of time before getting a lily-pad will result in your team being sent to the beginning of the obstacle course. If you fail three times, you're out of the challenge and your team will be sending someone home on the Spin of Shame, and onto the Boat of Losers."
The contestants nod. Chef walks closer to the contestants and forces the teams to wear a giant frog costume. He ties the contestants' torso's together, as Chris said, but everyone is confused when he ties their feet and hands together. Chris then laughs. "Oh, and one more thing. You gotta hop, not walk."
The teams stand in a horizontal line. Chris waits for a moment, and then shouts 'go.' The teams hop into the road, and try to dodge the cars. "This is crazy," Rex says, while dodging a car. "Even crazier than Skyla!"
"And I'm pretty darn crazy," Skyla says with a nod.
As the contestants dodge the cars, Eddie smiles. "Your mom dodges cars." The contestants groan. "Your mom groans." The contestants glare at him. "Your mom glares at me."
"Froggy takes one step at a time," Q sings, "The way that he moves has no reason or rhyme - he hops and jumps, dodges and ducks, cars and buses, vans and trucks."
"Now's not the time, Q," Mariah says. The other contestants nod. Suddenly, a large truck drives towards them. The others are too busy glaring at Q to notice it, but Rex quickly sees it at the last minute. He jumps backwards, causing the others to follow him (as they are tied up). The Skee-Balls fall to the floor, but luckily dodge the truck. Rex lands on Mariah, causing her to blush. "Uh, nice job. You can get off me now."
Mariah (CONF): That was some very awkward positioning.
Rex blushes and gets up, only to find Skyla glaring at him, and so he rolls his eyes. Then a car comes and hits them. They drop to the floor, with some injuries they'll probably have for weeks to come. Chris begins snickering, and says, "Ooo, looks like the Skee-Balls have to start from the beginning!" The Skee-Balls groan.
"Nice going, Rexie-poo-poo!" Skyla says with a frown.
Rex rolls his eyes as the Skee Balls go the sidewalk again and get ready to dodge the cars oncemore.
The scene shifts to the Whac-a-Moles trying to dodge the vehicles. Alyxandra smiles. "Oh my god, can you feel the adrenaline pumping through your iron veins? I feel it, and I love it! No, wait, I hate it."
Suddenly, a car drives towards the team. The team is too shocked to move, and so, for a second, it seems as if the car is going to hit them. Gavin, unable to do anything but raise his arms in fear, shouts, "Nononono!"
The car miraculously stops, and then slowly drives around the team, leaving everyone in awe. Caterina smiles, and says, "Cooool, how did you do that?" Gavin shrugs, but then smiles proudly. "Metalbending."
Gavin (CONF): Yeah, what can I say? When you've got it, you've got it.
Alyxandra rolls her eyes back in her head, so all you can see is the white in her eye. "After the flame died away, loneliness and darkness filled my soul, when I realized that life had no meaning to me, and all I felt was the cold. Understanding me was impossible, for all that I spoke and felt, was lost in the eternal blackness, and never to be seen again. Something new has come into my life, taking the demons in my mind away, I can now live without dread, for the angel of my death has arrived."
"Ahahaha wat," Caterina says.
Friday then clears her throat and starts singing loudly. "There's a crime scene on the dance floor, ring the alarm, police tape on the front door - and you are a person of intereeest! A person of intereeest! Can't say I'm love yet, but certainly impressed, yeah, yeah, yeah, you are a person of intereeest! Yeah, yeah, ooo!"
As Friday proudly sings, cars swivel and turn around the team. Cars crash into each other, causing loud explosions. People jump out of their cars with bleeding ears, screaming in agony as they hear Friday sing. Some people even light themselves on fire in order to end their misery. Loud screams are heard as Friday continues to sing, until the Whac-a-Moles finally cross the road. Alyxandra smiles. "Can't say I'm not impressed. Looks like you're actually good for something." Friday scoffs, and the Whac-a-Moles prepare to cross the river.
The scene changes to Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot's on the road. Kathie is shown kicking the cars, and sending them flying into the air rather than dodging them. Zoey frowns. "Kathie, I don't think that's what you're supposed to do." Kathie shushes her, and continues destroying the cars rather than avoiding them.
Zoey rolls her eyes, until she suddenly realizes Enrico is behind her, licking her earlobe.
Enrico giggles. "Your ear tastes like strawberries."
Zoey scoffs and elbows Enrico in the stomach, causing him to scream in agony.Herbert rolls his eyes. "Dude, that's not the way to win a woman's heart. Here, let the master show you." Herbert suddenly takes off his shirt and reveals his shiny chest. He starts dancing and then in a soft, flirtatious voice, he says, "Yeah, gurl, you like this? You want some of this? Yeah, you wish. Mmm, girl, it's like a real life Magic Mike, ain't it? You enjoying the show? How's about this? And this? And some of this?"
Zoey (CONF): Seriously? This is the team I'm on? Thanks a lot Chris. Thanks a lot.
Chris (CONF): You're welcome. (snickers)
Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot crosses the road and makes it to the river. They prepare to jump on a log until the scene changes to the Crane Machines. "Wow, this challenge is so exciting," Natasha says with a scoff. "Dodging a bunch of cars, yay. I'm just bursting with joy, can't you tell?"
Brendan is shown grabbing the cars and throwing them at other cars, creating large explosions. Since the drivers don't want to be blown up, they drive as far away from Brendan as possible. He smiles as the Crane Machines walk to the other side with no cars to worry about and dodge.
"This challenge is not fit for a princess like me," Tiffany says. "I should be driving cars, not dodging them."
Ashlee rolls her eyes. "First off, you're not a princess, you're a regular kid just like us. Stop acting like you're higher than everybody just because you're rich and stuff. That doesn't make you any better."
"Oh no," Tiffany says with a pout. "You get butthurt so easily, don't you?"
Ashlee growls and tries to hit her but is calmed down by Jim. The scene then changes to the Skee-Balls who almost finish crossing the road, but then get hit by a car. They slowly walk back to the sidewalk in shame.
The camera then shifts to Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot jumping on turtles and logs. A montage is shown of Kathie, inside the frog costume of course, jumping on logs and/or turtles, with Lloyd rapping in the background. "Yo, my gurl Kathie, mmm, yeah check it. Chick be so athletic it makes others look pathetic. She's so strong - are her legs prosthetic? If they are I'm sympathetic. Aren't I poetic?"
The team is almost about to cross the river, when suddenly, a large crocodile jumps from the water and bites their log in half. TZIRRRRH falls into the water, causing Zoey to scream. Chris snickers. "You know the drill." TZIRRRRH walks back to the sidewalk (the cars do not hit them as there is a giant sign that tells the drivers not to hit the contestants walking back).
"Hmph," Kathie says with a frown. "No biggie, I guess I can just do the same thing again." The scene changes to the Skee-Balls dodging one last car and then making it to the river.
"Finally!" Rex shouts. The team jumps on a turtle's back, only for the turtle to start sinking. The Skee Balls fall into the water and groan. Chris motions for them to go back to the sidewalk.
Mariah frowns. "Okay, this is bad. We only have one try left. We really have to try our best - if we fall into the water or get hit by a car - one of us is going home tonight." Everyone else nods. The Skee Balls walk back to the sidewalk and get ready to start again - more determined than ever.
The scene shifts to the Whac-a-Moles crossing the road. They get ready to cross the river. Gavin smiles. "Yeah, lets do this! We're gonna win this challenge, there's no way we can lose." The Whac-a-Moles jump on a turtle, and as if on cue, the turtle starts to sink. They jump on a log quickly, but a crocodile quickly comes and eats the log in half. The Whac-a-Moles trip and fall into the water.
"You jinxed it," Alyxandra says with a frown. "Nice going!"
The Whac-a-Moles walk back to the sidewalk. The scene changes to Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot. Kathie is shown kicking cars. However, Kathie hits one car, and oil starts to spill out of it's engine. The contestants look on in confusion, as the oil starts to completely gulf out and spill onto the floor. TZIRRRRH starts to trip in the oil, as well as the cars on the road. Cars crash into other cars, and a large explosion follows. The Whac-a-Moles trip as well, and the oil starts to spread onto the street and in the river. Oil flies and spreads all over the contestants, even the Crane Machines who are in the river. The river water turns black with oil.
"Why does this car have so much oil?!" Herbert shouts.
Kathie slaps Herbert. "Shut your troll mouth!"
The Skee Balls, who are still on the sidewalk, take the opportunity to jump on the crashed cars, and cross the road. They cheer, and then jump onto a log. The Crane Machines, who are in front of them frown. Brendan tries to sabotage the Skee Balls by pushing them or jumping on their logs. The Skee Balls dodge these attacks, and try to sabotage them back by doing the same.
Tiffany smiles. "You can just give up now, dear, it's obvious that our team is gonna win."
"I beg to differ," Mariah scoffs, and then adds, "Dear."
Tiffany (CONF): You know, the Skee Balls are a pretty tough team. They're made up of mostly boys, though, so I think that I can use that to my advantage. Hmph. Losers.
Tiffany thinks for a moment, and then smirks. "Hey boys, look at these apples." Suddenly, Tiffany removes her top and bra, revealing her breasts. Q shrugs, as he cannot see them due to his hat covering his eyes. Eddie and Rex, however, begin to drool. Tiffany giggles. "You like these babies? Hehehe."
The Crane Machines stop moving, as they are too shocked at what Tiffany is doing. Mariah rolls her eyes and pushes Tiffany. Tiffany almost trips into the water, and is about to carry her team with her. The Crane Machines try their best to stay afloat. The Skee Balls use this time to cross the river, and snag a lily-pad. They cheer, when suddenly the Crane Machines snag a lily-pad as well.
"Ugh, I can't believe you guys got first place!" Tiffany shouts.
"Maybe you shouldn't have shown your unmentionables," Natasha says while rolling her eyes. "Guys, guys, it doesn't matter," Ashlee says with a smile. "We may not have gotten first, but we got second place, and so that means we're not eliminating anyone tonight. We're still fine."
"Actually," Chris says with a smirk. "You guys will be eliminating someone tonight."
"What?" Jim says with a frown. "But what about Zoey's team and the Whac-a-Moles? They didn't get a lily-pad, one of them is going to lose, not us."
Chris raises his eyebrow, and then points to Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot and the Whac-a-Moles passed out on the floor covered in oil. "You see, since they're passed out, they're not able to cross the river and get the remaining lily-pad. You guys were the only teams able to actually get a lily-pad. We need a loser, and we're not gonna wait for the other two teams to wake up, that would be too boring, and we're on a time limit here. So, since the Skee Balls snagged a lily-pad before you, they win, and you don't."
"That is totally unfair," Tiffany gasps. "You never told us that!"
"Don't care," Chris smiles. "You guys still lose." The Crane Machines groan. The scene then changes to Mariah, Zoey, and Caterina in the mess hall. "Okay, Zoey, you go talk to Ashlee. She'll probably listen to you." Zoey nods and then walks to Ashlee. She smiles.
"Hey, Ashlee?" Zoey asks. "I gotta talk to you. It's kind of important."
Ashlee nods. "What's up?"
"Well," Zoey says with a frown. "You see, Tiffany wants you gone. She's planning on eliminating you tonight. I overheard her talking with Natasha and Jim. The two of them agreed to vote you off. That's three votes, which means that's a possibility that you might be getting eliminated tonight." Ashlee nods and then starts sweating, showing that she feels a bit insecure about the elimination ceremony. Zoey smiles. "But, Mariah, Caterina and I have decided that if you join our alliance, we'll keep you safe tonight. Mariah has a way with words, and she can surely convince your team to vote off Tiffany instead. Deal? Allign with us, and you'll be safe."
Ashlee nods. "Deal."
Ashlee and Zoey are leaning on a door, more specifically the door to the Crane Machine's dorm. The camera shifts to the inside of their dorm, and shows Tiffany, with her ear against the door, listening to Ashlee and Zoey's conversation. She smiles mischeviously.
Tiffany (CONF): Do these losers actually think they can get rid of me? Hmph, we'll see about that.
Chris is shown at the roof of the arcade. It is during the night, and there is a makeshift campfire in front of five stumps where the contestants are sitting. A port-potty is used as the voting booth, and stairs lead back down to the main arcade. "This season, if you manage to not get eliminated, you'll get a special gold coin. It's chocolate, so feel free to eat it. However, if you're the loser," Chris opens up a gray padlocked box, "You get this special "Game Over" pass, which basically means you can't come back. Ever. You must ride the Spin of Shame, and get thrown onto the Boat of Losers, where you will be driven home. I think. I don't know. I don't really trust those drivers. Anywho, the following players are safe. Brendan. Jim. Natasha."
Brendan starts punching his chest and shouts. He grabs his coin and stuffs it up his nostril. He snorts it then smiles. Jim smiles and eats his gold coin normally. Natasha shrugs and lets the coin fall on the ground.
"Ashlee, Tiffany," Chris says. "One of you will be receiving a gold coin, but the other will be getting a game over pass. One of you will be joining Reuben, and that person is..."
"Ashlee." Chris throws Tiffany her gold coin, and Ashlee her game over pass.
"What?" Ashlee says, in complete confusion. "How... this is impossible! Tiffany should be eliminated, not me! Chris, you probably read the votes wrong, go re-read them, this is definitely a mistake, there's no way this could have happened. I should be safe! How could this happen?!"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Tiffany says with a smirk. "Did you expect your precious alliance to save you? Zoey promised that you would be safe, didn't she? Yeah, not happening. See ya later, alligator."
Ashlee raises an eyebrow. "How in the world did you - "
"I overheard Zoey talking to you dum-dum," Tiffany says, while rolling her eyes. Chef comes out and grabs Ashlee, as she starts shouting and elbowing Chef in the chest. As she is placed in the Spin of Shame, Tiffany waves goodbye and giggles. Ashlee is spun around multiple times, causing her to vomit. She is thrown onto the Boat of Losers, and a elderly voice is heard. "Oh hi-ho, I hit the jackpot! Ye look so beautiful, don't ye? Oh, yes, we're going to have loads of fun, yes, yeess." Ashlee is heard screaming, and the boat drives away into the night. Chris smirks and motions for the Crane Machines to go back to their dorms.
Brendan (CONF): (eats bar of soap and then farts loudly)
Natasha (CONF): I expected these idiots to vote me off as soon as I ridiculed one of them, but I'm still here, so I might as well make the best of it. Tiffany is a total threat - I may have voted with her, but she has got to go.
Jim (CONF): Puppies sure are cute.
Tiffany (CONF): Ashlee was simply a threat, and she needed to go. It's obvious Caterina, Mariah, and Zoey are in an alliance. If I can eliminate them, than I'll run this game. They should just give me the cash now, it's obvious I'm going to win. These losers don't stand a chance.
The Crane Machines walk down the stairs in order to go to their dorms. At the end of the stairs, Mariah, Caterina and Zoey wait. They look on in confusion as Ashlee does not walk down the stairs. They see Tiffany smirking and then quickly realize what has happened. Mariah gasps. "No..."
"Yes," Tiffany says with a smirk. "Zoey should really learn to be a little more quiet. If you guys think you can eliminate me, then you need a reality check. I will stop at nothing to eliminate you, because no one is going to stand in my way. I will win, and if you three think that you can stop me, then I will make sure you are out."
Tiffany walks towards Mariah. "If you try to eliminate me, I'll be sure to tell everyone about your little alliance." She looks Mariah in the eye and smiles. "Dear."
Chapter 4 - Dance Dance Revolution
Written By: Toadgamer80
"Last time on Total Drama Arcade," begins Chris. "The teams competed in a little game I like to call Extreme Frogger. They were tied up, placed in embarrassing frog costumes, and forced to go across a river and through a busy street, together. Friday, once again, demonstrated how terrible of a singer she was, and made the cars crash and burn so they went around her. Herbert and Enrico tried to woo Zoey a few more times, but neither of them were really successful. And, of course, what's a Total Drama episode without a fight? The aforementioned fight belonged to Ashlee and Tiffany, whose clash could have resulted in 'World War III'. Eventually, the Crane Machines lost the challenge, and Ashlee joined Mariah's alliance so she could vote out Tiffany. Unfortunately, Tiffany heard this whole thing, and got the rest of the team to vote out Ashlee. Poor girl. Now, only 18 contestants are left! What will be the next challenge? Who will join Ashlee and Reuben in loserdom? Find out today, on Total... Drama... Arcade!"
The Crane Machines are shown in their dorm, and they don't seem to be too happy, except Tiffany, who's calmly listening to music.
"Hmhmhmhm, good morning, lovelies. How was your sleep?" Tiffany asks, strangely happily.
"Why are you so happy?" Natasha asks skeptically. "It's not like you."
"Oh, you know. Ashlee is gone, and there's nothing you fools can do about it," Tiffany responds. "You know, I'm going to like you guys so much more as a team since she's out. She really made me mad. Where are my boys, Jim and Brendan?"
Natasha points to Jim's bunk, where he is snoring loudly. A loud noise is heard from the bathroom. "And I think that's Brendan," Natasha responds. "But why do you care?"
"Oh, I just like them so much, you know... They're really cute. Especially Jim, and his averageness. I just wanna pinch his little cheeks," says Tiffany strangely.
"You know, I really have no clue how to respond to that," says Natasha. "People like you confuse me, big-time."
Tiffany (CONF): If Natasha agreed to vote Ashlee with me, why is she being so rude? Like, is that her usual personality, or does she have a bone to pick with me? Either way, I'm the better person. Hehehe.
The camera goes down the hallway, and then goes into Team ZIRRRRH's dorm, where everyone except Herbert is wide awake and doing various things. Herbert is asleep, and there is a sign on his chest that says "Don't wake me up, or you'll suffer the consequences".
"Yo, Zoey. Your boozums are lookin' pretty fine today, if I do say so myself, you know what I'm talkin' about? Are you wearing some sort of special bra? Because you should keep it up, sugar," Enrico states.
"Um, dude? Zoey ain't here, she went to go talk to her friends," says Lloyd. "Are you doin' okay, man?"
"Oh, yeah, totally. I'm just practicing, for when she gets back, you know? You've done that before, right?" replies Enrico.
"Uh, no," says Lloyd.
Kathie is shown, poking Herbert with a pencil. "Uh, Kathie, you sure that's a good idea? When he says you're gonna suffer th' consequences, he probably means it," says Lloyd. Kathie shrugs, and continues to poke Herbert "I'm doing this as revenge for all of the times he's trolled me," she states.
Herbert suddenly wakes up. "Who's poking me?" he states groggily. He then looks at Kathie. "You."
"Yeah, take that!" says Kathie forcefully. "This is revenge!"
Herbert takes out a knife. "You were asking for it, so you will pay," he says. He begins to tackle Kathie, and holds the knife close to her face. Kathie begins to examine the knife, and realizes it's a butter knife. She twists Herbert's hand around, and a cracking noise is heard.
"Oooooh," groans Lloyd. "That had to hurt."
The scene quickly changes to the Whac-a-Moles' room. Caterina is shown looking at a stuffed pink bunny, while Gavin is meditating on his bed, Friday is listening to her music loudly, and Alyxandra is writing morbid poetry.
Friday suddenly takes off her ear buds, and stops her music. "All right, teamies, listen up. So, people on the other teams are pretty jealous of my magical singing skills, and I would totes say that I have a target on my back. I gotta watch out," she says.
Friday is then shot in the back by a Nerf gun. “What the heck?!” she yells, then turns around to see Caterina holding a Nerf gun.
"Ahaha, you said that the target was on your back," says Caterina.
"Ow, you turd. That totally hurt," Friday yelps. "Gavin, what are you doing?"
Gavin has his eyes closed on the bed, and he is humming softly. He wakes up, opens his eyes, and states calmly, "I'm meditating. As an Avatar, it is my responsibility to connect with my past lives, and meditating helps me acheive this. That, and my throat hurts from all the yelling."
"Yelling. Yelling takes away the pain, the pain and sorrow brought by mother's death... Yelling makes small snakelets beg for their mothers, who have died... Yelling makes the sun go down and the stars come out... The universe will never be the same with yelling..." Alyxandra recites.
"OMG, guess what? I can yell, too! RAWR. Ahahaha," Caterina responds.
Gavin (CONF): I never thought I'd say this, but... I actually miss Reuben. I mean, he knew everything, so he would know if I would eventually be able to take charge of my skills and become a Super Saiyan. Or the Avatar. Or maybe I could even catch them all...
Finally, the scene changes to the last of the four teams, also known as the Skee-Balls. Q is lying on his bed doing nothing, Mariah looks insanely angry, Eddie is bothering her, and Skyla is trying to flirt with Rex, but to no avail.
Mariah (CONF): You have no idea how angry I am... Ashlee was voted out. I thought our alliance would actually get something done for once... Ugh, Zoey and Cat are so worthless. But, maybe I could keep them with me until merge. After the merge, though, it's showtime. Kyle, sweetie, if you're watching this, I would never do this to you. I'm just trying to win the million bucks so we could spend it on that trip to France you wanted... You wanted France, right? Hehehe.
Eddie (CONF): (pops in while Mariah is talking) Jerome wants to go to France with you, me, and Kyle.
Mariah (CONF): (talking to Eddie) ...'Jerome'? Why not my mom? That's a change.
Eddie (CONF): (talking to Mariah) Uh, you know. Jerome is the new thing. All the cool cats and hipsters say it, right?
Mariah (CONF): ...No. No, they really don't.
"I'm a Q-sic man, I'm a what, I'm a what, I'm a Q-sic man, and I sell clarinets, to the kids in the town, with the big trombones, and the rat-a-tat drums. Big brass bass, big brass bass. And the piccolo, the piccolo, with uniforms, too, with a shiny gold braid on the coat and a big red stripe runnin'," recites Q.
"Your mom has a big brass as--" Eddie says. Q interrupts him by blowing a whistle that was around his neck extremely loudly, and everyone just looks at him.
"Lolwut?" Skyla says.
Rex (CONF): I hope I can survive a little bit longer on this team. I seem like th' least interesting, and whatever. Q's funny, Mariah is th' antagonist, I think, Eddie is th' comic relief, and Skyla is th' Izzy clone of th' season. I'm just... (shudders) Duncan.
Skyla (CONF): Oh mai gawd. I know for a fact that Lil' Rexie loves me. We're gonna have a make out part in the back of my trunk. And if he doesn't like me by the end of today, all hell will break loose...
The contestants are shown, eating breakfast, which is yogurt and greenish toast. Most contestants are shown eating with their teams, although Zoey, Mariah, and Caterina are sitting at a table with Brendan and Jim.
"All right, so, let's meet," says Mariah. "We have to discuss how to defeat Tiffany. Although, Brendan and Jim are here, should we force them to leave?"
Zoey looks at Brendan, who is scarfing down the toast and smearing the yogurt on his face, and Jim, who is eating medium-sized spoonfuls of yogurt. "Nah, let's leave them be."
Caterina looks at her yogurt. "ACTIVIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," she spontaneously sings.
"Sooo," says Mariah. "Tiffany's team is her, Brendan, Jim, and Natasha. Brendan and Jim will do anything, and Natasha is the swing vote. We gotta be careful around her. So, tonight, if the Crane Machines lose, they'll vote out Tiffany. Don't worry about them not losing, we'll try to do anything to make them lose. I think we got this, right, guys?"
"Yeah, totally. What are we talking about again? Because I want to start a new conversation. So, one night I was home alone, and I heard this shrieking sound. I walked outside and saw my brother hanging on a tree branch by one foot. He was upside-down. And there was this weird red liquid on him, it was so creepy..." Caterina says.
"Um, Cat? Is your brother, you know... normal? Like, mentally?" Zoey asks.
"My mom says he takes after my dad, and she likes that. But he has to take medication. Although, he never actually does, and he just flushes the pills down the toilet, hehehe..." Caterina says.
"All right. We'll all go to our respective teams, and do the challenge, but make sure the Crane Machines lose. Otherwise, our plan will backfire and once again, one of us is going to go home," says Mariah. "And that can't happen."
"Ladies and gentlemen!" says a voice from the front of the mess hall. The contestants turn around and see Chris, standing at a podium. "And I use the term 'gentlemen' very loosely. Anyway, as you know, we have a challenge today! Aren't you guys excited?" The contestants shake their heads 'no'. "Today's challenge is based on an iconic arcade game, also known as Dance Dance Revolution. Basically, two people dance, dance, and create a revolution." Chris takes out a small notecard, and reads it.
"Dance Dance Revolution, abbreviated DDR, and previously known as Dancing Stage in Europe and Australasia, is a music video game series produced by Konami. Introduced in Japan in 1998 as part of the Bemani series, and released in North America and Europe in 1999, Dance Dance Revolution is the pioneering series of the rhythm and dance genre in video games. Players stand on a "dance platform" or stage and hit colored arrows laid out in a cross with their feet to musical and visual cues. Players are judged by how well they time their dance to the patterns presented to them and are allowed to choose more music to play to if they receive a passing score," he reads.
"First of all, Wikipedia again? Pitiful," Natasha scoffs. "And second of all... Australasia? Who says that?"
"...I do," responds Chris, who seems ticked off. "Anyway, since it's called Revolution, some contestants from Total Drama Revolution will be guest starring! You know, that old crappy show I used to host? And of course, they'll be making the challenge a bit more difficult. Wasn't expecting that, were you?"
"Actually, I have to say that you surprised me today," says Natasha.
The soundof a van pulling up to the driveway is heard. The doors swing open, and four people walk in. The first one is a bearded man wearing hippie garb with long hair and a do-rag. He's followed by a tall boy with long hair, a banana shirt, and purple pants. After him comes a very attractive girl with a scarf, fancy clothing, and long brown hair, and then a heavyset girl with "..." on her shirt and large glasses.
"AAHHHOHMYGODICANNOTBELIEVEIT," Kathie shouts as she begins screaming loudly. She starts jumping up and down, and then eventually falls on the floor and has a stroke.
"Holy crap, dude. Forget Zoey. That Chelsey chick is like 10000 out of 10, man. I want to bang her, get her preggers, then bang her again, so we can have little Rico-Chelsey babies. You agree?" Enrico whispers to Herbert. Herbert nods his head in agreement.
"Hehe, Chels. I think that weird dude likes you," says Kavren.
"Oh, he's the weird dude?" asks Chelsey. "The entire hour-long drive here, you talked about nothing but what everyone's favorite kind of beef was."
"Hello, children from various parts of the planet. I am Dolphin Anderson Alfred Garrison Harrison Larrison Barrison Rainbows III, and I will be hindering your attempts to win this challenge," Dolph says, in a thick British accent.
"I can't understand anything that dude is sayin', with that thick Cockney accent," Rex whispers to Eddie.
"Your mom has a thick cock..." replies Eddie. "...ney accent." Rex slaps his forehead, and Enrico and Herbert start to chuckle.
"So, guys?" Chris says. "You four will be on these platforms, shooting BB gun pellets at the contestants to make things a bit more tricky. Don't worry, they're perfectly safe, we even tested one of them out on one of our loyal interns. Each team will have one person go, and the person who stays on the longest wins invincibility for their team. The team who does the worst... It's elimination for you. Kapeesh?"
"It's 'capiche'," says Natasha.
Chris ignores Natasha's snide remark. "All right, let's see here... Enrico, you'll go for Team Zoey is Really Super-Duper Extremely Smokin' Hot. Mariah, you can go for the Balls of Skee-ing. Gavin, you can go for the Moles Who Get Whacked, and for the Crane Machines, Tiffany can go."
"We're just the Crane Machines? Why don't we get a weird name?" asks Jim blandly. Chris shrugs.
"Awesome," whispers Mariah to Zoey and Caterina. "Tiffany will do something stupid, and inadvertently make her team lose. So, then she can get eliminated. You know, I have a plan."
"PJ is going for the Crane Machines, right? So, all we have to do is get her really angry," says Caterina.
"...Oh my god, Cat, you actually sounded really smart right there for a moment," says Mariah, in awe.
"I did? Sorry," pouts Caterina.
Zoey places her hand on Caterina's shoulder. "No, no, don't worry. That's a good thing! Now, since PJ doesn't talk, Mariah, how about you say to her that Tiffany said something rude about her? She can't not talk if she's getting teased, and she'll eventually snap."
"You're a genius! Ahahahaha," says Caterina happily. Mariah nods her head in agreement.
Mariah (CONF): Heh. Cat and Zoey do have a good strategy, that's for sure, but it's not enough to make me think twice about ditching them at the merge.
Enrico is shown climbing up the platform. "Yo, Chris. I'm not very pumped to do this, but you know, since the hot chick is the one shooting me, maybe I'll bring my A-game to this competition. Y'know?"
"Whatever you say, Enrico," says Chris. He looks at Chelsey, and says, "Yeesh." Chelsey nods her head. She then presses a button and the platform rises up until it's about 20 feet off the ground.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Isn't this a bit high? Calm yourself, Chelsey. You wanna see the view, I bet," winks Enrico.
"Ugh," scoffs Chelsey. "Anyway, what song would you like for me to play?"
"Oh, I have a good one. That one about spinning my head right round. I think it's by Cali Fornia. You know, the one that has the double meaning," says Enrico. "Love that song."
"Of course you would pick that," says Chelsey. She turns on a large boombox, and the game begins. Enrico tries to dance like Alejandro in TDWT, but fails, and gets electrocuted. He then falls off the platform and lands on his face. Many others cringe.
"Already? C'mon, man, you can do better than that," Lloyd says.
Enrico climbs back up onto the platform, with help of a ladder. "You know... I get... three tries... right?" he says, panting.
"Enrico is right," says Chris. "Get back up there, and try to do it again! If you last the entire song, you'll get 10 bonus points, which makes it more likely for you to win!"
The song gets to the chorus. Enrico continues to dance, and does a dance consisting of shaking his behind. He looks at Chelsey, and winks. He then narrowly makes another note, and keeps dancing. After a few more seconds, he falls off again, but quickly grabs hold of the platform, hanging on with only his left hand.
Zoey cringes. "Enrico, try not to fall off!"
"I thought you didn't like him," says Kathie.
"Yeah, I don't," says Zoey. "But if he falls off, we might lose the challenge, and I would get voted out thanks to Tiffany over there." She points to Tiffany, who giggles evilly.
Enrico falls off of the platform for the third and last time. "You know what? I'm done," says Enrico. "Don't care if we lose. Now I'm closer to Chelsey, yo. Picture-perfect."
Chris blows a whistle. "All right, Gavin, get your butt onto the platform. Your turn to go!"
Gavin is shown climbing the ladder to the platform. "Okay, everyone. I got this, no need to worry at all," he says reassuringly.
"OMG, once, my brother was playing this game on a platform like this, and he fell off and broke his neck, and he had to go to the emergency room for like a week, haha. It was so sad," Caterina says.
"...How is that helpful at all?" Natasha scoffs.
"Chris. Let me play the Pogeymans theme song. It's the only song that will get my blood pumping. And none of that Gray and Puce crap, it's Kanto or nothing," Gavin states.
"Nope!" says Chris. "I get to pick which song will be playing."
"Ooh, ooh, play Person of Interest. By, of course, me. But, I don't know if you guys are cool enough to handle the intensity of the song, you know, it has a really deep and hidden meaning about drugs and how bad they are for you," Friday whines.
"Nope!" says Chris, once again. "You will be playing one of those generic pop songs of today, it's something by some band called 'The Wanted'."
"Ugh, I hate The Wanted," says Friday. "Cheap One Erection knock-offs. 1E is so hot, they don't need some old ugly guys copying them, yah."
Gavin reluctantly climbs on the platform. Kavren, who's trying to fire at him, says, "Just relax, dude. I won't go too hard on you. Or will I? Bloop pork." Chris is counting down, then blows his whistle. Kavren turns on the game, and it begins.
Gavin works hard to dance to the beat, while the crappy dance-pop music is playing.
"Hand you another drink, drink it if you can," the video game music plays as Gavin continues to dance.
"You know, I never got that line," says Natasha from the ground. "It's my least favorite song. Like, what do they mean by 'drink it if you can'? Is she incapable of drinking or something? Ugh... this song perplexes me."
Gavin is shown on the ground, groaning. He gets back up onto the platform and is instantly shot by a BB gun. He then falls off the platform and begins yelling.
"Oh, whoops, sorry!" Kavren says. "Didn't see you there."
Chris begins to yell. "Tiffany! Your turn to go up to the stage! PJ, you will be in charge of the BB gun cannon for Tiffany here, you ready?" PJ nods. "All right. Easy, medium, or hard difficulty?" Tiffany opens her mouth, but Chris interrupts her. "Hard? All right, that's what I thought. Let's get this show on the road, with the smash hit by Casey Roy Jensen, 'Text Me Possibly'." PJ gives a thumbs-up from the cannon, and Chris puts on the song.
"Oh my flabberdoodles, guys. Casey is totally my bud. People say she's 'the new me', but of course she isn't, because nobody is as amazing as me, right?" Friday says.
Tiffany is shown on top of the platform, which rises up to the top and the song turns on.
"This song makes my ears bleed, but I enjoy the pain..." Alyxandra states. Some of the others give her strange looks.
Mariah is shown talking to Caterina and Zoey, in the corner. "All righty, Zoey. Your turn to do something strategic. Go over to PJ, and tell her that Tiffany thinks that she's fat. She'll get really angry, and start bombing Tiffany with bullets," says Mariah.
"I'm on it," says Zoey. She walks up to PJ, who is aiming at Tiffany. "Hey, PJ. I'm Zoey. So, I was just gonna tell you that I overheard Tiffany talking about you. She says you're fat. Rude, huh?"
"..." says PJ. She turns the switch from "HARD" to "MAX" which is written in red letters and has an ominous-looking skull printed next to it. She then starts to fire gigantic cannonballs at Tiffany, although Tiffany expertly dodges every single one of them.
"Mary Sue!" yells Gavin.
Tiffany (CONF): Hehe. You know, I heard what Zoey said to Patricia. And so, I may just have to give those three girls a little thing called revenge... Have fun with Dolph, Mariah. (blows a kiss)
The song is shown finishing. Tiffany gracefully hops off the platform, doing a couple flips and landing on her hands. "How was that, guys?" She narrows her eyes at Mariah, who scoffs.
"Eh, you could have done better, but at least you didn't get yourself brutally maimed, so that's good," Natasha states.
"Aaaand, Mariah! Your turn! So far, the scores are... Enrico with 1:02, Gavin with 1:54, and Tiffany with... 3:13. Think you can beat that? There's only one way to find out," says Chris. "You will be dancing to the Nyan Cat song."
"Are you kidding me?!" Mariah protests. "They get normal songs, and I get... this? This is a crappy song, how am I supposed to dance to it?"
Mariah (CONF): All right, maybe that wasn't really the best thing to say...
Gavin (CONF): Oh my god! OOC moment on the loose! Like that one time in Pogeymans where Barack got really angry and started beating up Arse Ketchup... Yeah.
"Excuse me, miss? What did you just say?" says Dolph, while his eyes are turning red. "Did you insult my trusty steed? Not just that, but you have been doing naughty things as well. I think it is time to break out the heavy artillery..."
The Nyan Cat song begins to play. Mariah, on the platform, begins to dance, easily. Although, Dolph turns on the cannon, and begins to shoot out balls of piping hot spaghetti and tomato sauce at Mariah.
"Oh, crap!" Mariah screams. She dodges some of the balls, but then one hits her in the face. She falls backwards, and off the platform.
"Come on, gurlie! You can totally do it. Don't worry, I gotcha if you fall," Skyla tries to reassure Mariah.
Mariah grumbles as she walks back onto the platform. The second she gets on, she is hit by a ball. She falls off again, then gets on for a third time. Sure enough, she is hit by yet another ball of spaghetti.
"Mariah loses!" says Chris. "With only 22 seconds. Pitiful, huh? That means that the Skee-Balls are going to elimination!" Everyone on the Skee-Balls groans, except Q, who just shrugs.
Tiffany walks up to Mariah. "Well, looks like I got my comeuppance, huh? If you liked that, there's more on the way," she says. She then giggles obnoxiously, which makes Mariah mad.
The scene changes to the campers dining in the mess hall. Zoey and Caterina are sitting with Mariah. "Mariah, we'll be sure to wish you goodbye when you get eliminated," says Caterina sadly.
"Cat, why would you say that? She's not getting eliminated... I hope," Zoey says.
"Yeah, she is," responds Cat. "I'm sorry, Mariah. Nobody on your team likes you. But don't worry, I do." She giggles.
Mariah (CONF): (scoffs) Moron.
"Hey, so guys, who d'ya think we shoul' we vote out?" Rex says to the other four Skee-Ball members.
"Well, totally not you, my little Rexie-poo. Maybe Eddie or Q, they're both really weird and blarghy. Aaand, there's Mariah, who seems a teeny bit fishy," says Skyla. Rex scoots away from Skyla, and bumps into Eddie.
"Your mom bumped into me last night," says Eddie. "She said that she wanted to cheat on your dad and get with me instead. Obviously, I said yes." Rex looks at Eddie, and slaps his head.
Chris is shown at the roof of the arcade. It is nighttime, and there is a makeshift campfire in front of five stumps where the contestants are sitting. A port-a-potty is used as the voting booth, and stairs lead back down to the main arcade. "This season, if you manage to not get eliminated, you'll get a special gold coin. But, if you're the loser..." He opens up a gray padlocked box. "You get this "GAME OVER" pass, which basically means that you can't come back. Ever. You must ride the Spin of Shame, and get thrown onto the Boat of Losers, where you will be driven home. I think. I don't know. I don't really trust those drivers. Anywho, the following players are safe. Rex, Skyla, and Q."
Rex catches his gold coin, and smirks. Skyla grins happily at Rex, knowing that they are both safe. Q grabs his gold coin and eats it happily.
"Mariah and Eddie," says Chris. "One of you will be able to stay another night, but the other will have to leave the Arcade and never come back. The person who will be joining Reuben and Ashlee is..."
"Eddie. Time to go, bud." Chris throws Mariah her gold coin, and Eddie stands up. Mariah grins evilly as her gold coin falls to the floor, and then takes a deep breath, knowing that she is safe for the night.
"I knew it," says Eddie, as he inhales and then sighs loudly.
People gasp, since he's talking normally. "Well, I guess I should start telling you guys. You see, I once participated in school plays and stuff like that. I was really popular, and everybody loved me."
Eddie looks to the ground. "I was, as you could say, the star of the school, and I went by Edwin, believe it or not. One year, my friend got a chance to direct a play, and he cast me as one of the supporting roles. He was a guy named 'Eddie' who said 'your mom' to everything. And when the play came out, everyone loved the character, and he was a smash hit. Like, you know, to the extent of PJ."
"Well, the fame went to my head, even though I was already popular enough, and since I wanted to be funny, I started going by Eddie and saying 'your mom' to everything," Eddie says with a frown.
"It kind of got old on the first day I did it. But, I was too ignorant to find out that nobody liked me anymore and thought I was annoying. Since you guys didn't seem to think me or my jokes were funny, it's back to my old self now. Arrivederci, and I wish you all luck in your future endeavors," Eddie says as he waves goodbye.
"I knew it. Eddie's 'your mom' speeches were just a facade for his truly deep personal life," says Q, immediately after Eddie, or Edwin, finishes.
"Eddie, are you serious? Like, you're not joking? I think I actually went to see one of your plays once... You did Shakespeare, right?" Mariah says.
"Yeah," says Edwin. "Well, I'll be on my way."
Chef comes up to Edwin, and chucks him onto the Spin of Shame while he screams loudly. He is spun many a time, and he tries to hold his vomit in, but fails and vomits a little bit. He's thrown onto the Boat of Losers, and the same elderly voice is heard. "Ohhh, a little boy! You seem like just ye perfect match for the pretty young lass who dropped by recently! Oh, indeed, we will be having lots of fun!" Eddie is heard shouting something obscene, and the boat drives off into the sunset. The Skee-Balls proceed to go back to their dorm.
Mariah (CONF): Yeah, that sure was a close one. Looks like I'll be competing another day, which is pretty relieving... I think I'll try to keep my act down in these next few challenges, so Tiffany doesn't try to play any more dirty tricks. Cat and Zoey will still be my little guinea pigs, though, so that will be good. (chuckles)
Q (CONF): Eddie was like a blind man on a mountaintop: purely a threat.
Rex (CONF): Th' secret with Eddie was alarming, but I kinda expected that he was more than he seemed... Well, time to hide from Skyla.
Skyla (CONF): Hehehe. Rexie, you won't know what hit you tomorrow.
The Skee-Balls are shown walking back to their dorm, and down the steps. The other contestants seem to all be eating s'mores by another makeshift fire. Tiffany is waiting for them to come down. When she sees Mariah come down, she yells, "DARN IT!"
"Ha," says Mariah. "Sorry that things didn't go exactly how you planned. Everyone makes mistakes, right?" Tiffany stomps her foot in anger.
"No, not Mary Sues," scoffs Gavin. "Or Vegeta. He's a God."
"Gavin, sometimes I question your sanity..." Natasha says.
Zoey yawns and prepares to go to her dorm, but Q stops her. "Você tem que me escutar, Zoey, você não pode confiar Mariah. Estou avisando, ela vai te trair em algum momento no futuro. Confie em mim."
Zoey raises an eyebrow. "Um yeah, I don't speak... whatever you spoke. I'm really tired Q, I'll see you tomorrow."
Q sighs, shakes his head, and walks back to his dorm.
Chris smiles at the camera. "That's all the time we have for today's episode, folks. Tune in next time for the answer to many questions and more on Total. Drama. Arcade!"'
Chapter 5 - Fire Away
Written By: Owenandheatherfan
"Last time on Total Drama Arcade," Chris begins. "With the help of four people I like to call Dolph, PJ, Kavren and Chelsey, the four teams competed in the classic arcade game, Dance Dance Revolution. Except, they were shot with BB guns, and I don't think that's in the original game." Chris shrugs and then continues. "Enrico was up first, but the dude failed harder than Reuben. Gavin was next, but his 'bending' didn't help him one bit. Mariah and her servants, I mean, alliance members, tried to sabotage Tiffany when it was her turn by making PJ angry, but even though they succeeded, Tiffany dodged all of PJ's attacks and lasted the whole song. Can anyone say 'Mary-Sue'? Mariah was up next, but when she dissed Dolph's trusty steed, Nyan Cat, the dude flipped out, and used the heavy artillery. She only lasted 22 seconds, and so she sent her team to the elimination ceremony. Eddie, or should I say Edwin, was eliminated for being a nuisance, and it was revealed that his 'your mom' charade was just an act. What secrets will be revealed today? Will Zoey understand Q's warnings? Does Skyla have eyes for someone else? Probably not. Find out the answer to these questions and more on today's episode of Total. Drama. Arcade!"
The contestants are shown in the mess hall, eating bagels and apple juice that may or may not have some toenails in it. Zoey examines the bagel, and then takes a bite. Her eyes widen, and she drops the bagel on the floor. She then grabs the apple juice to scarf down the horrible taste, only to realize how bad it tastes as well. She grabs Q's hat and vomits inside it. Q glares at Zoey in pure disgust.
Brendan picks up Zoey's fallen bagel and swallows it whole. He giggles and pushes her apple juice onto her shirt, making a large stain, and then runs away before she can do anything.
Chris snickers as the contestants glare at him. "How is everyone liking their breakfast? Chef ran out of some supplies, so he had to improvise, but I think it tastes just fine, don't you think?"
"You know, you're not as bad as people say, McLean," Natasha says. "You're much, much worse."
Kathie is shown typing something on her phone. "Status update - Like oh my glarb," Kathie says out loud as she types. "I totes gawts to meet the TDRev charry's on the last challenge! Lol, wish me luck today, xox."
Herbert raises an eyebrow and looks up from his food. "Wow, Kathie, you have horrible grammar. I love correct grammar and such, so I think I can help you. Two weeks of vigorous grammar lessons could really improve your language skills, and, you know, make you not type like a preteen girl on Tumblr."
"Shut up," Kathie says nonchalantly. Herbert frowns and then looks at his food. He smirks, and throws his bagel at Kathie. She shrieks as it hits her directly in the face, and he giggles mischievously. "Bullseye."
Rex is hidden under a table, hiding from Skyla who is looking for him with a crowbar. Mariah sees Rex and raises an eyebrow. "Should I ask why you're under the table, or do I not need to know?"
Rex frowns. "It's Skyla, she started beatin' me wit' a crowbar this mornin', I think she's tryin' kill me or somethin'. Man, I really wish she'd get eliminated already." Mariah pats his back to comfort him, only for Skyla to see this. She runs over to the table, while shouting Rex's name loudly, flips the table upside down, and starts to hit Rex with the crowbar. Mariah walks away from the scene slowly.
Rex (CONF): Oi, Skyla is really annoyin' me. Nex' time we lose, she's outta' here. Mariah's gonn' vote with me, and Q will probably do th' same. I'm not an antagonist or anythin' but I can't stand her, y'know?
Jim casually smiles at Q, showing almost no emotion. He stares at Q for a while, until Q notices this. Jim stares at him him for a few more seconds, and then speaks. "Wonderful weather we're having, huh."
Q shrugs. "I suppose so. I'm not really a weather expert."
Jim smiles nonchalantly. "Yup." Q raises an eyebrow, and nods his head gradually. He then walks away slowly, and by the time Q is off-screen, Jim is still smiling at... nothing, really.
Suddenly, the lights begin to flicker, and eventually burn out. Six candles light up, and Alyxandra is shown floating in the air, with her eyes pale white. "Roses are black, violets are violence. I'll tie you up to the rack, and gag you with my silence." She then shouts something in a different language, and the candles burn out.
The lights quickly and unexpectedly turn on, and the contestants are confused as Alyxandra eats her bagel as if nothing happened. When she notices everyone looking at her, she shrugs her shoulders. Natasha shakes her head. "Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice."
The camera then shows Zoey listening to music, and dancing in her seat, as Enrico takes pictures of her bottom. He giggles to himself, puts the camera in his pocket, and walks back to his seat.
"Hm..." says Lloyd, jotting stuff down in his notebook. "Enrico, such a pervert. All you do is hang with Herbert. Can't you just think clean for once? 'Cause maybe then you won't be such a dunce. You only talk about one girl, and believe me you're only making her hurl. You should grow up a li'l bit, all you like are girls and sh–"
Enrico glares at him. Zoey takes her headphones off, and Enrico smiles. "Yo, Zoey, you do somethin' to you' hair? Looks very beautiful." Zoey looks surprised that Enrico gave her a authentic compliment, but then smiles happily. "Wow, you actually complimented me. Thanks, Enrico, I appreciate it."
Enrico genuinely smiles. "I'm goin' bang you later."
Zoey sighs. "Of course."
Zoey (CONF): I honestly do not know how our team has yet to lose a single challenge. I mean, all Herbert and Kathie do is fight with each other, and do I even need to explain Enrico? I honestly think without me, this team would crash and burn harder than Survivor: Redemption Island. (sighs)
"The air was thick with a terrible smell, everyone in the car going through Hell," Q loudly exclaims. "Everyone jumping, just like my heart. I sighed and grimaced - why'd my friend have to fart?"
Chris clears his throat. "Listen up gamers, your challenge will begin in ten minutes, and get ready to destroy some flying rocks." The scene changes to the contestants in a dark room with strong air currents that push them back and forth. "Today's challenge will be based off of the popular arcade game, Asteroids. The objective of Asteroids is to score as many points as possible by destroying asteroids and flying saucers. The player controls a triangular-shaped ship that can rotate left and right, fire shots straight forward, and thrust forward. The player can also send their ship into hyperspace, causing it to disappear and reappear in a random location on the screen, with the risk of self-destructing or appearing on top of an asteroid."
Natasha yawns and Chris glares at her. "What, is this too boring for you? Should I stop talking?"
"No, no, no, please, continue," Natasha snidely says. "I always yawn when I'm interested. I would love to hear you some more, I get goosebumps when I listen to you speak."
Chris continues. "Each team will take turns riding a spaceship. The spaceship has special parts inside that use the air currents around it to make it fly, which is why this room is like super duper windy. You know the deal, the team that destroys the most asteroids wins the challenge. It's simple. Destroy or be destroyed."
"Um," Gavin says with a cringe. "Are you sure our 'spaceships' are safe? You use interns to test stuff out before you make us use it, right? It looks like it's hanging by a thread."
Chris shakes his head. "No no, don't worry, we tested it out with interns beforehand, and only four of them didn't make it out alive. It's usually like nine or ten. You only have like a 20 percent chance of living, but that's higher than any other challenge we've done! You should be grateful."
"Oh," Gavin says with a gulp. Chris thinks for a minute and then continues. "First up is Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot. Use the control panel inside to control the ship. Use the red button to shoot lasers at the asteroids, and use the blue button to hyperspace through the air. You can only go through hyperspace three times, so be sure to use it when you really need it."
"Hm," Enrico says. "Seems legit."
The team goes inside the bootleg spaceship, and Chris unties the rope that's holding it. When he does so, the spaceship shoots up into the air, and starts to hover. Zoey grabs the control panel. "I'm in charge of the ship. Kathie, I need you to tell me when there's an asteroid about to hit us, and the direction."
The camera pans over to Kathie and Herbert having a slap-fight. Kathie grabs Herbert's hair, causing him to shriek. She pulls on it, making him scream louder. Zoey sighs. "Nevermind."
Kathie (CONF): I guess fighting with Herbert wasn't the best decision, but that boy irritates me in ways that I can not explain. Ugh, what would Sharissa do, what would Sharissa do...
Herbert (CONF): Kathie keeps starting fights with me for no reason, I mean, I get it, vandalizing that wiki was a bad thing to do, but the girl really scares me. I deserve some sympathy.
"Yo, Zoe," Enrico says with an eyebrow raised. "What about me, beautiful? What can I do?" Zoey thinks for a minute. "You can just stand there." Enrico glares at her.
Suddenly, an asteroid crashes onto the side of their spaceship. Lloyd sees another asteroid heading towards them, and shouts for Zoey to shoot at it with a laser. Zoey sits there in shock, and the asteroid approaches. Enrico sees this, quickly reaches for the red button that shoots the laser, and presses it.
Zoey sighs a breath of relief. "Thanks, Enrico."
Enrico (CONF): She so wants me.
The asteroid that was previously shot splits into three smaller pieces, and Zoey shoots all three remaining pieces. The camera pans over to Chris and the contestants, where Alyxandra is reciting a poem that she made. The contestants look afraid as she speaks. "Infection; eating away at the beloved-enraged pain rages within the confinements of the mind-bleed into the cup, wash the wounds with holy water-torn from the mountains, spread over the unclean. Engage the pitiful and rip the blood soaked insides out as the bodies litter your open streets, cries to the heavens end in death-dead fills carts, halls turn to mud soaked pits, overflowing with the discarded, masks cover the truth of the people-cannot escape the fate of everything."
Mariah raises her eyebrows in fear. "Alyx, stop it, you're scaring us."
Alyxandra's eyes roll to the back of her head and she continues. "Crooked nail piercing us against the crimson flow of civilisation-dying to be apart of something we can never be-never hold onto, suffocate to live and to die we grasp the freedom of the blade, abominations flowing through our fingers-what is black is coloured within us, unrenewable DNA-agitated souls feeding on the gulping breathes we take, reality fades here- this plane destroyed with our dying thoughts, through the looking glass we live, suffocating on our own thoughts-can this be what we dream of? Blood rushes between fingers-skewered guts splayed in front of us-friends slain and enemies bleed-you believe to die, shattered prey lies between us, taste the sweet inflamed faith-dripping with the sins of the filthy-can we see what hides beneath when we cannot see what we are?"
The camera alters to Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really shooting lasers. Lloyd smiles and begins rapping. "Destroying, toying, annoying, deploying, dodgin' an asteroid, so perfect like an android, scaring them rocks like a arachnoid, don't you get hit, we wouldn't want you to get a hemorrhoid."
"Word," Enrico adds.
"Guys," Zoey says. "I don't see any asteroids in sight, I think we may have destroyed them all. I think we're supposed to land now, but Chris hasn't said anything, so I don't know." As if on cue, hundreds of asteroids fly next to their spaceship, leaving them unable to move to the side. Hundreds of asteroids then fly above them and below them, rendering the team unable to move without being hit by an asteroid.
"Argh," Lloyd shouts. "What do we do, what do we do!?"
Kathie frantically leans in and presses the blue hyperspace button, causing the team to disappear and reappear outside of the asteroid paradox. Zoey sighs a breath of relief, but an asteroid appears out of nowhere and hits the team on the front of their spaceship, causing them to plummet towards the ground. They crash, and Chris laughs at their injuries. "Ooo, looks like you guys lose. You destroyed a total of one hundred asteroids, so let's see if the Skee Balls can beat that. Balls of Skee-ing, get your butts in there." The Skee Balls get inside their spaceship, and Chris cuts the rope, immediately sending them hurtling towards the air.
Mariah grabs the control panel and puts her hand on the laster button. "Guys, I'll control the spaceship. I hope you guys don't care. No one else wants to do it, right?"
Rex frowns. "Aw, I kinda wanted to control th' spaceship... but I guess you's could do it."
Rex (CONF): I think I... migh' like Mariah. Could you blame me? She's th' only girl besides' Skyla, and she's really pretty, even if she is like five feet tall. Aw crap, she has a boyfrien', right?
Mariah (CONF): You think I haven't seen the way Rex looks at me? I know he has a little thing for me, and I can totally use that to my advantage. (giggles mischievously)
Skyla frowns. "Rexie-lexie should control our spaceship, he can most definitely handle it. Also, your arms are too scrawny and are not capable of controlling such a ship." Mariah rolls her eyes and Rex frowns.
"I told you's not to call me that, Skyla," Rex shouts. "My name's Rex, sheesh. Stop with th' nicknames."
Mariah swallows her pride and forces a smile. "No, no, Rex, Skyla is right, you should control the ship. Plus, your arms are really buff and strong, so you can totally handle it." Rex blushes, which Skyla notices. Skyla slaps Mariah. "Back off, girlfriend, he's mine. I had him first."
Q clears his throat. "Um, guys? Are you done bickering, there's an asteroid headed for us, and Rex needs to shoot at it. Guys? Are you listening? Vamos lá, qualquer um? Qualquer um?"
Mariah forces a smile. "You're right, Skyla, you're right once again. You're always right. Yep, always. Okay, Rex, now I know you can totally help our team win this, so start controlling the ship."
Q clears his throat again and speak louder. "Uh, guys? This is really important, it's about to hit us. Sérieusement, les gars, arrêter de se battre et d'écouter pendant une seconde."
Skyla rolls her eyes. "Whatever, Mariah. You're just totally jealous of me and Rexie. You cannot handle my Rexie, he's too good for you. You're not even in the same ballpark as him." Mariah frowns and gets ready to fight with Skyla, but Rex tries to break the two up by pushing them away from each other.
"GUYS," Q shouts. Skyla, Rex, and Mariah look at Q, and Q points to an asteroid that's heading towards them. Skyla shrieks and faints, and Rex makes a quick turn, pushing everyone to the side of the spaceship.
Another asteroid approaches, and Rex shoots at it, and shoots the smaller pieces. He sighs a breath of relief, but a gigantic asteroid quickly approaches them, and before Rex can try to shoot at it, it hits them directly, causing them to fall down to the rest of the contestants.
"Well," Chris says. "You only destroyed four asteroids. You guys are pathetic, you know that? Whac-a-Moles, you guys are next. You have to beat Team Zoey's score, a total of one hundred asteroids."
Rex (CONF): Hey, I guess going to elimination won't be so bad, at least I'll be able to get rid of Skyla, y'know? Yeah, yeah, that won't be so bad. I'm actually looking forward to it! (smiles)
The Whac-a-Moles get inside their spaceship, and Chris cuts the rope, sending them flying into the air. Caterina starts giggling. "This makes me feel like Superman, ahahaha."
Friday starts to sing. "That familiar voice, it speaks to me, tells me everything is gonna be okay. It's meant to, meant to be. Sun is out, and the darkness fades, got my headphones on and I'm under, in a dream but I'm wide awake. Woah-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh."
Alyxandra puts her hand on her heart and starts chanting. "Beauty beyond the hopes of man, this pure creature is the fairest in the land, only to be tamed by that of a maiden, but never to be touched by men. As the girl's hand rests on the creature's nose, she watches in amazement as the horn glows. The mare then got to her knees, the girl just couldn't believe. Slowly she got on the mare's back, comfort was nothing the Unicorn could lack. The mare galloped through the trees, the girl had never felt so free."
"That poem reminds me of unicorns, omg," Caterina responds. "I love them. I want to be a unicorn so bad."
Gavin (CONF): I have to say, I don't really like my team. Caterina is really ditzy, and pretty useless too. All Friday does is sing her songs, and Alyxandra kinda freaks me out. I wish Zoey was on my team.
Gavin grabs the control panel. "I'll control the spaceship, you guys watch out for any asteroids and be sure to tell me if there's any headed in our direction—"
"Gavin," Alyxandra shouts. "Look ahead." Sure enough, a large asteroid is hurtling towards the team. Gavin screams and unintentionally hits the hyperspace button, and teleports to another area. He sighs a breath of relief and Caterina thinks for a minute. "Is it true that sweat and pee are like... cousins?"
Suddenly, an asteroid hits the side of their spaceship, followed by multiple hits by other asteroids. Gavin gets angry and begins shooting the asteroids with the laser beams. A montage is then shown of Gavin shooting any asteroid that he sees and laughing maniacally as he does so.
Gavin (CONF): Okay, I may have gone a little too far.
Gavin accidentally presses the blue hyperspace button in his fit of rage, and the team is teleported to a random location. He shrugs it off, and continues to destroy asteroids. Friday notices this and says, "Um, Gavin, you realized you wasted our second hyperspace, right? We only have one left."
Gavin shrugs. "Whatever, we're doing fine." Sure enough, Gavin accidentally presses the blue hyperspace button again. Alyxandra facepalms. "Ugh, nice going, Gavin. Just hope we don't have to use it."
Caterina nods. "Yeah, nice going Garret. So, um, anyways, I get nervous when my brother eats things that aren't food. Seriously, I think he ate my charm bracelet." Gavin dodges a large asteroid, causing everyone to fall on the floor. Unexpectidly, many asteroids start to hit the team's spaceship, and Gavin hits the blue hyperspace button, even though the team has already hit it three times, the limit.
"Gavin," Friday shouts. "Water you doing, we already used up the hyperspace!"
Gavin shrugs. "We could at least try." However, the Whac-a-Moles then hear a low beeping sound. Some of the contestants raise an eyebrow, when suddenly, the spaceship abruptly explodes, sending the Whac-a-Moles flying towards the other contestants. They hit their faces on the pavement and Chris chuckles.
"Wow, who knew Gavin was so bad at steering," Chris chuckles. "You guys destroyed a total of one hundred and one asteroids, which beats Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot by one point." Chris laughs. "You guys must feel like crap. Crane Machines, you guys are up, so get your sorry tooshies into your ship."
The Crane Machines, one by one, enter the ship. Natasha is about to enter first, but Tiffany pushes her to the side, and walks in front. "You're a peasant, you should go last."
Natasha raises an eyebrow. "Whoa, who peed in your coffee?"
The contestants finish going inside the spaceship, and the scene changes to the Crane Machines flying in the air. Tiffany grabs the control panel. "I'm controlling, after all, I'm a natural born leader."
"I bet you get bullied a lot," Natasha sympathizes.
Tiffany raises an eyebrow. "Oh shut up, you don't know anything about me. I'll have you know, I won the talent show in Junior High, and I was given the title of Prom Queen. I am the most popular girl in my school, and definitely the hottest. So no, I don't get bullied a lot, you drag queen."
"Pardon me," Natasha says, "but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn." Suddenly, Brendan begins shouting and hooting and jumping up and down. He points to the front of the spaceship, but Tiffany doesn't bother to notice his warnings. Jim sees what Brendan is pointing to, and widens his eyes.
"Wow, that is a large looking asteroid," Jim acknowledges. "It's really pretty, too. I bet all the other asteroids are jealous of it's humongous size. I bet the asteroid has a rival too, who gets chosen last during basketball, and who probably hates him for being the best. I like this asteroid. It's pretty, and I like it a lot."
Tiffany raises an eyebrow. "Huh?"
Natasha rolls her eyes and forcefully turns Tiffany's head to the side, showing her the gigantic asteroid approaching. Tiffany screams and doesn't have time to move the spaceship, and the asteroid breaks through the glass of the spaceship, and hits Tiffany, which pushes her to the back of the spaceship. Brendan gets scared and begins to shout like an orangutan. He runs to the asteroid, and using only brute force, Brendan punches the asteroid and breaks it into several pieces. He swats the pieces away.
Brendan then grabs the control panel and starts to destroy numerous asteroids. Natasha smirks and looks at Tiffany. "Looks like Brendan's a better pilot than you, and he barely knows English."
Tiffany glares at her. "Oh, shut up, Natasha. If you were in my shoes, you would know that I am an amazing pilot, thanks to my dad. In fact, I'm amazing at many things, including martial arts. You know, things that a low-class citizen like yourself wouldn't know. Hmhmhm, there's no denying that I'm the best there is."
Natasha nods her head slowly, showing how bored she is of listening to Tiffany speak. "I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass."
Jim giggles. "Burn."
The camera changes to Chris and the contestants. Mariah pokes Caterina and Zoey on their shoulder, and motions for them to follow her. The three of them make it to a secluded area, and Mariah talks. "Okay you guys, I've made up a couple of rules for alliance. You have to follow it. It's not a choice. Okay?"
Caterina and Zoey nod. Mariah smiles. "Good. Okay, first rule. I'm the leader of this alliance, which means that I make all final decisions. I started the alliance, so it's only fair, right? Okay, good."
Zoey thinks for a minute. "We still have a say on who goes, right? If not, then I don't think the rule is that fair. I mean, I get that you're the alliance leader, but we're part of this alliance too, we deserve a say."
Mariah scoffs. "Of course you have a say, like you said, it wouldn't be fair. However, if I really want someone to be eliminated, it will be final. You're welcome to try and change my mind, but I'm pretty stubborn."
Zoey nods. "Alright, that's cool I guess."
Mariah smiles. "Okay, good. Second rule. We can use other people as votes if we need to, but that's it. No new alliance members. We made this mistake with Ashlee, and it cost us big time. If we have another member, and they get eliminated by the other contestants, it'll be a huge blow to our alliance. If we only use a person for a vote, however, we can easily replace them. Plus, only three people will make it to the semi-finals, we can't have four members. Maybe I'm wrong - maybe we'll need a new member later on, but we're fine for now."
Caterina nods. "Wow, that's so smart, Mariah. It reminds me when my brother stuffed his pasta inside a pillow, and he got away with it for a year until it started to rot and stink up the house."
Mariah raises an eyebrow. "Anyways, one more rule. Do not ever talk back to me or question my methods. I am the leader of this alliance, you guys need to have full faith in me and trust me. Okay? Okay."
Zoey raises an eyebrow. "Uh, I don't know about that last one, Mariah."
Mariah forces a smile. "Oh, okay, that's cool. I could always replace you with someone else who's okay with our alliance rules. I'm taking you guys to the final three, it's a privilege, and I could always give it to someone who really, really wants it. Your choice, Zoey. I would just hate to kick you out. "
Zoey sighs. "Nevermind, the rule is fine."
Mariah smiles. "Great."
Mariah (CONF): Cat's too stupid to question me, but Zoey on the other hand is way too smart for my liking. She's really naive though, so I'll keep her around. She's safe - for now.
Zoey (CONF): Hm, Mariah's being a little too over controlling. I don't really want to leave the alliance, since I know she'll keep me safe, but I really wish she'd change the rules. Matter of fact, why do we even need rules?
The camera transitions to a montage of Brendan dancing to Brianna Queers' hit song, "I Wanna Leave." He dances to the chorus and as an asteroid approaches, he doesn't stop his dancing, but rather hits the laser button with his elbow and continues dancing to the song. Jim gasps at the sight.
"Oh my," Jim says. "Brendan is spectacular. It amazes me how every aspect of his movement is so precise, so perfect. The grace that he is able to show in his dancing takes my breath away. His toes are pointed, his arms are extended, his flexibility is at its best. Most people might see his dance as mere entertainment, nothing special. But to me, I cannot fathom the hard work and effort it took for him to be able to get to where he is now. I only hope that one day, I can become as good as him. I really do."
"Um, dude," Natasha says. Jim looks at her, and Natasha points to Brendan shaking his butt. Jim sees a blinking light next to the control panel. He raises an eyebrow, and then walks closer to it. "Um, guys?" Natasha and Tiffany look at Jim. Jim bites his lower lip. "We're almost out of fuel."
Tiffany widens her eyes. "Holy shi-"
But before Tiffany can finish her sentence, the spaceship runs out of gas and hurtles towards the ground. Tiffany gives a scream that pierces the other contestants ears. Jim keeps repeating 'we're gonna die,' while Natasha and Brendan give the two a look of absolute pity. Natasha sighs. "You guys are pathetic."
The spaceship crashes into the ground and Chris laughs. "You guys, I forgot to tell you, you only have a half gallon of fuel. Budget cuts, y'know? Anywho, Brendan destroyed a total of 9,100 asteroids. For each hyperspace that you didn't use, you get three hundred extra points. Since you guys didn't use any of the hyperspaces, that's nine hundred extra points, which means that you guys have a astounding total of 10,000."
The Crane Machines cheer, and pick up Brendan. They begin to chant, 'Bren-dan, Bren-dan, Bren-dan." Brendan smiles and blushes. "Thanks you guys, I appreciate it."
The contestants stop chanting and look at Brendan in confusion. "Oh, whoops." Brendan then spits on Chris, begins to hoot and punch his chest in victory. The Crane Machines shrug and continue to chant.
"Not so fast," Chris says with a smirk. "Our scoreboards are only capable of holding four digits, and 10,000 is five digits. Because of this, on our scoreboard, you guys got a big fat zero. So, you guys lose and will be sending someone on the Boat of Losers! Quite the twist, huh?"
Natasha sighs. "You cannot be serious."
Chris shakes his head. "Does it look like I'm kidding? Whac-a-Moles, you guys are the winners of today's challenge. Team Zoey is Really, Really, Really, Really Hot comes in second place, and is closely followed by the Skee-Balls. Then, the Crane Machines come in dead last and will be eliminating someone tonight."
Natasha (CONF): I'm not all that mad about losing the challenge, because I know that I won't be eliminated. I think Tiffany is trying to stay under the radar, and she's the only one who would try to vote me off.
As Rex is walking back to his dorm, he bumps into Mariah. Rex apologizes and Mariah smiles. "Eh, it's not a problem. You got a minute, though? I gotta ask you something."
Rex nods. "Fo' you, I'll always have time."
Mariah blushes. "Yeah. So, I was wondering if you wanted to be in an alliance with me? I really trust you, and I think you would be a loyal ally. We could vote together, and if you want, we could eliminate Skyla."
Rex thinks for a minute. "I dunno, Mariah. Don'chu have an alliance wit' those two girlie-girls o' somethin'? Wouldn't it kinda be goin' behind their backs if you have another alliance wit' me?"
Mariah scoffs. "No, no, don't be silly. I don't have an alliance with anyone at all. Sure, I might have asked people to vote with me, but I don't really have a prominent group or anything. In fact, you're the only person I've asked to be in an alliance with. I really trust you, Rex. So, what do you say?"
Rex nods. "Well, in that case, I'm in."
"Thanks," Mariah smiles. She hugs Rex and kisses him on the cheek. As she runs back to her dorm, Rex blushes and drools. The camera pans over to Skyla who listened to the whole conversation. She starts to cry hysterically, and she runs away from the scene in tears.
Skyla (CONF): (cries hysterically and blows nose in a tissue)
Rex (CONF): Skyla can neva' find out about my alliance wit' Mariah - she'll kill me!
Chris is shown at the roof of the arcade. It is during the night, and there is a makeshift campfire in front of five stumps where the contestants are sitting. A port-potty is used as the voting booth, and stairs lead back down to the main arcade. "This season, if you manage to not get eliminated, you'll get a special gold coin. It's chocolate, so feel free to eat it. However, if you're the loser," Chris opens up a gray padlocked box, "You get this special "Game Over" pass, which basically means you can't come back. Ever. You must ride the Spin of Shame, and get thrown onto the Boat of Losers. The following players are safe for another day. Brendan. Natasha."
Brendan grabs his gold coin and throws it at Tiffany, who glares at him. Natasha has a smug look on her face as she lets her gold coin fall to the floor. Chris clears his throat and sighs.
"Tiffany and Jim," Chris begins. "Tiffany, you really showed your arrogant side during the challenge, and you somehow manages to tick off almost every person on the team. Jim, you're just useless and kinda creepy. You both deserve to go, but only one person will be riding the Boat of Losers. And that person is...
Jim. Time to go, kiddo." Chris throws the remaining gold coin at Tiffany, who eats it with a smirk. Jim nods his head, shrugs his shoulders and then gets up with no emotion.
"Nice weather we're having," Jim says with a smile as he is walking. He walks over to the Spin of Shame, and gets spun around multiple times. Instead of throwing up, however, he maintains his smile. He is thrown onto the Boat of Losers, and shouts, 'whee-eee-eee' as he gets thrown. The contestants look on in confusion.
"Okaaay," Chris clears his throat. "So that wasn't the most dramatic elimination ceremony."
Brendan (CONF): (stares at camera blankly)
Natasha (CONF): Well, it seems that we're the worst team so far. I mean, three people? Seriously? It's not a surprise though, our team sucks big time.
Tiffany (CONF): Chris is dead to me, with all his little tricks and scams. We should have totally won today. He'll be hearing from my father!
The Crane Machines get up and exit the roof to go back to their dorm. As Natasha is walking, Gavin stops her. She raises an eyebrow and Gavin clears his throat. "Uh, Natasha? Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Natasha sighs, and then rolls her eyes. "I'm busy now. Can I ignore you something other time?" Gavin clasps his hands together and whispers 'please'. Natasha sighs. "Fine, talk to me."
Gavin smiles and then sighs. He rubs the back of his head nervously and hesitates to speak. "So, well, I hope this won't be a potentially awkward situation, but I was kind of wondering if you might possibly wanted to be in an alliance with, y'know, me? If you want, we could even invite someone else of your choice."
Natasha raises an eyebrow. "An alliance? I mean, depends - who are we targeting first?"
Gavin shrugs. "Whoever you want. I didn't really have anyone in mind, I just wanted to be in an alliance with someone, and you seemed like the best choice. What do you say?"
Natasha smirks. "That's what I like to hear. I don't like people who are too overcontrolling. Deal, I guess we're in an alliance. I guess we could maybe target Tiffany first, she's a horrible person."
Suddenly, Natasha and Gavin hear someone walking towards them. They turn around, only to see Q come out of the shadows with a smile on his face. "If you guys are gonna be in an alliance together, I wanna join too. Q-sic man needs some backup, and everyone on my team is probably gonna vote me off."
Natasha sighs. "Gavin?"
Gavin shrugs. "I think for a good alliance to work, it has to have three people. So, yeah, Q should join our alliance. I don't think he'll tell a soul about us, and he seems really loyal. You're in, Q."
Q smiles. "Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity. The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."
Natasha raises an eyebrow. "You're gonna need to stop that, though. Or else I'll start calling you Alyxandra."
The camera pans over to Chris. He smiles. "What is Mariah up to? Will she ditch Cat and Zoey for Rex? Will Skyla be heartbroken and try to sabotage their alliance? Will Natasha, Gavin and Q be able to run the game now that Mariah and her alliance are trying to stay under the radar? And will my teeth get any whiter? Find out next time on... Total. Drama. Arcade!"
Smapter Chix - ?
Written By: Toadgamer80
Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine,
(camera goes through the parking lot and through the doors to the arcade, passing by various arcade games)
You guys are on my mind.
(Q is sitting next to Jim, who is reading a book)
You asked me what I wanted to be,
(Jim waves, and Q runs away)
And now I think the answer is plain to see,
(Q bumps into Reuben, who kicks him, and he flies by Herbert on a laptop vandalizing)
I wanna be famous.
(Kathie pops up, scaring Herbert and making him throw the laptop on the ground)
I want to live close to the sun,
(Zoey is shown putting make-up on her face)
Well, pack your bags 'cause I've already won.
(Gavin appears and screams, causing Zoey to scream and run past Natasha who says something dirty)
Everything to prove, nothing in my way,
(Brendan swings by on a vine, picks up Zoey, and throws her into a ball pit)
I'll get there one day.
(Zoey falls into the ball pit, and Eddie pops up under her)
'Cause, I want to be famous!
(Mariah appears, and punches Eddie in the face)
Nanana'nanaana nana nana
(Rex is shown in a pac-man costume in a maze, running away from Skyla who is chasing him)
I want to be, I want to be; I want to be famous
(Tiffany appears on a hot-air balloon and beams at the camera, while Lloyd raps)
I want to be, I want to be; I want to be famous
(Ashlee and Alyxandra are talking, while Friday appears in a car, singing horribly, causing them to cover their ears)
(Whistling: I wanna be, I wanna be famous)
(all of the contestants are shown on the roof of the arcade, huddled in a circle around a campfire, and Enrico rips Caterina's shirt off, causing everyone to stare at her boobs)
- Alyxandra, Eddie, Enrico, Mariah, and Reuben are based off of people who I know.
- Caterina, Friday, and LIoyd are based off of real people.
- Herbert and Zoey are based off of people on this wiki.
- Rex and Skyla are parodies of Nico's characters, Dex and Skyler.
Total Drama Arcade
|Alyxandra ∙ Ashlee ∙ Brendan ∙ Caterina ∙ Eddie ∙ Enrico ∙ Friday ∙ Gavin ∙ Herbert ∙ Jim ∙ Kathie ∙ Lloyd ∙ Mariah ∙ Natasha ∙ Q ∙ Reuben ∙ Rex ∙ Skyla ∙ Tiffany ∙ Zoey|
|Level Up ∙ Pacmania ∙ Highway Frogs ∙ Dance Dance Revolution ∙ Asteroids Away: Part One|
|Elimination Chart ∙ Trivia ∙ Theme Song ∙ Toadgamer80 ∙ Owenandheatherfan|