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This story is rated PG.
There may be some content not for younger kids. However, there is nothing here they wouldn't say on the Total Drama series.
Gildedchris

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Alpharama promo

Total Drama Alpharama is a competition fanfic written by BadAsp.

After the events of Total Drama: Revenge Of The Island, Chris was desperate to get back into hosting his beloved series. The alphabet theme separates this season from the four before it, and gives us one of the biggest casts yet!

Inspired by fanfics such as Total Drama Alphabet and the Total Drama Letterz series, Total Drama Alpharama has 26 contestants, 26 episodes, and only one winner!

Contestants

Ashlynn

Blaine

Connor

Desirae

Elvio

Francesca

Gareth

Hektor

Ireland

Justus

Kieran

Luna

Morganne

Nevaeh

Odessa

Payson

Quillon

Ross

Skyler

Talwen

Unique

Velandra

Ward

Xev

York

Zakeri

Episodes

Episode 1: Bring Your "A" Game

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Total Drama series and its canon characters, nor do I own any of the locations where Total Drama takes place. However, I do own the 26 contestants that are participating in this season (Alyssa the intern, however, is owned by Reading10). While this season has an alphabet theme, this fanfic is not for little kids, however, some of the stuff that might be too much for them is basically stuff that a typical episode of Total Drama might get away with. Like Chris McClean says, do not try any of the stuff at home. (Seriously, you could get pretty messed up!)

Also, this fanfiction takes place after the events of Total Drama: Revenge of the Island. Keep in mind that this season may not have aired in your country yet, so you may be spoiled like crazy.

Anyway, enjoy!

- A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

The year was 2012. It had been a full year since the epic duel at the Chrisoseum (which, like the three other final challenges, was anything but one-sided) was filmed. The winner took home the million-dollar cash prize, and, unlike the past winners, was actually able to hold on to it for a change!

However, Chris’ decision to turn Camp Wawanakwa into a dumping ground for toxic waste may have come back to haunt him. He had received several lawsuits from the RCMP, many environmental agencies in Canada and around the world, concerned parents who had either sent their children there or were going to send their children there, as well as from former contestants and their family members. He was found guilty and arrested, and was only bailed out thanks to Chef dipping into Chris’ massive hoard of money.

The campsite where seasons 1 and 4 were filmed had to be quarantined in light of the toxic waste scandal. Camp Wawanakwa had to be relocated to a newer area of Muskoka. It was a beautiful area that had been untouched by man until now. The trees were among Canada’s greenest, and the water was pure and crisp. It’s safe to say that you would not find any of the hazardous material that permeated the last campsite.

When New Wawanakwa first opened its doors to the group of children arriving there, the camp staff was rewarded with satisfaction. The children enjoyed the sleeping conditions, and they had fun doing crafts, and going on nature hikes, and participating in nighttime sing-alongs and storytelling. Much more than at the old Wawanakwa, in fact!

As the first summer session at New Wawanakwa ended and the children left camp and went home, the camp staff was surprised to meet a familiar face... it was Chris McClean! They did not know what to make of this. He was the very person who had just about ruined the last campsite with his toxic waste stunt!

“Dude, chillax, it’s not what you think,” said Chris. “I come in peace, brah.”

“How can you be so sure?” said the manager.

“Y’know, I was just thinkin’ about what I did last time around, and I realize now that I am not going to do anything like that ever again. The old Chris McClean got left behind on the old toxic waste heap. New Wawanakwa is looking at the new Chris McClean, who, by the way, is looking forward to filming his fifth season of Total Drama right on this very campsite!” Chris McClean flashed his shiny teeth at the staff, while Chef opened up a briefcase containing a lot of Canadian dollar bills. And while the staff was still were apprehensive about him at first, they realized that he could actually be serious. (Yep, it’s surprising, huh?)

“Oh, all right.” the manager said. “But on one condition...”

- A -

“You have got to be freakin’ kidding me...” Chris muttered to himself, as he took a look at his new surroundings. He was still allowed to produce the fifth season of Total Drama, however, in light of the events of last year, Chris had been placed under several new restrictions set forth by the network.

For starters, the actual campgrounds themselves were off-limits. Second, under no circumstances was he allowed to dump any more toxic waste in his new environs. And third, the majority of the season was to be filmed in a certain restricted area with a set of cabins and a mess hall created specifically for him were he to show up. It resembled...

...the cabins and mess hall of the actual camp’s junior day care center. And in the actual day care center, brightly-colored letters of the alphabet adorned the walls of both the interior and exterior. Dude, are these people seriously making fun of Chris McClean?, he thought. But no matter how much Chris wanted to take the alphabet motif down, he knew that he wanted to be trusted again, so he relented and let New Wawanakwa have its way. The letters would stay on the walls... this time.

But in the meantime, he had somehow discovered a theme for his fifth season...

- A -

The next week, filming began on the fifth season of Total Drama. Chris had hand-picked the cast members based on not only the season’s theme, but also on how much drama they were able to provide, according to him.

He stood on the docks of New Wawanakwa in his trademark outfit, consisting of his blue shirt, khakis, and sneakers. He turned to the camera and gave his opening monologue.

“Man, the other day I was trying to figure out how many letters were in the alphabet!” he said. “It took me all day, but you know I did it! You wanna know how many letters there are? 26 letters in the alphabet!”

A yacht carrying the twenty-six contestants, all between the ages of 15 and 18, started approaching the new campgrounds. “These twenty-six new campers come from all walks of life.” Chris said to the viewers. “They have been instructed not to speak to or interact with each other until the game officially begins. This is seriously our biggest and most diverse cast yet, and with a cast this big, the season will be a blast! But only one will win the cool mil, and this time, all alpha-bets will be off! Get it?” And then he laughed at his joke.

After looking at the yacht, Chris turned to the other camera and continued his spiel. “This is truly a season unlike any other! 26 days, 26 campers, and only one winner! Welcome to Total...”

The camera zoomed out.

“...Drama...”

The camera zoomed out again.

“...Alpharama!”

- A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

After the yacht arrived on the new Dock of Shame, the 26 contestants stepped off and set foot onto the docks. Each of them was holding up a card adorned with the letter of the alphabet that began his or her name.

“Campers, look all around you,” Chris addressed the new group of 26. “You will be spending the next 26 days with these people. Their goal is the same as yours: to make it to the end and receive the one-million-dollar cash prize.”

“Ooh, Chris! Is it time for us to speak yet? Eeeeee!” shouted a hyperactive orange-haired girl wearing a yellow dress exclaimed.

“NOT YET!” shouted Chris. Then after a while, he said, “Okay, now you can speak.”

“Yay!” the orange-haired girl said.

“However, in keeping with the alphabet theme of this season, I thought we’d introduce each other in alphabetical order first!”

“Aw!” the orange-haired girl moaned.

Chris approached the blond-haired girl wearing an olive-green shirt, a purple skirt, and matching purple boots. She was holding a card with the letter A on it.

Chris said, “Okay, everyone... A is for...”

“Um, Chris, do I really have to do this?” the blond-haired girl said.

“What’s wrong, Ashlynn?” Chris taunted. “Is the blond girl so ditzy she’s forgotten her own name? Wow, you must be this season’s Lindsay!”

A few of the contestants on the dock laughed... however, Ashlynn felt embarrassed.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ASHLYNN: Okay, this is exactly what I’ve been trying to avoid! I did not sign up for Total Drama Alpharama just so I could be labeled as a ditz just because I have blonde hair! But then again, on shows like this, contestants are forced to make dumb decisions at some point or another to advance their gameplay. Besides, I know I’m smarter than the host, because that moment on the docks was actually the first time he’s gotten my name right, and watch, I bet he’ll forget it again!


After Chris regained his composure, he said, “Okay, Ashley...”

“It’s Ashlynn.” Ashlynn corrected him. “My name is Ashlynn Taylor, I’m 16 years old, and by the way, this is my real hair color, thank you very much.”

“I know, I was just testing you... yeah, that’s it.”

Ashlynn just rolled her eyes.

“Okay, moving on.” Chris pointed at the brown-haired boy wearing a red shirt that had “>2” written on it, and also holding a card with the letter B. “B is for...”

“B is for Blaine,” the boy said. “I am 17 years old, I like baseball and basketball, two sports which also start with the letter B, and I usually get a B or higher on my tests! I think we’re going to have a blast here!”

Several of the contestants giggled.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: I want to make it really far in this season, so I decided that now was not the time to tell these people my secret... which is that I am Blaineley’s younger brother. Yep. The Blaineley from Celebrity Manhunt. The Blaineley from Total Drama World Tour. The talk show hostess who only lasted for two episodes as a contestant before being eliminated in the most humiliating fashion. And also, the woman who named herself after me because she didn’t like her original name. Because if everyone found out that I was related to her, I could go home like super early, because you know how bad she was... both on the show and in real life!


Chris then pointed at the blond-haired boy wearing a pink shirt, turquoise vest, and brown shorts. He was holding the card with the letter C on it. “Wow, C’s a cool letter, brah, because it starts my name! C is for...”

“C is for Connor Cooke,” the boy spoke. “I’m the class president in my school, I’m very popular, and I hope to make some new friends!”

Several of the contestants (most of them female) cheered for Connor.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: Should I tell these people that I have a million dollars already? I’m worried that if I do that, they are going to be like, “Hey, this guy already has a million dollars, so therefore we should vote him off because he doesn’t really need it!” But I do consider myself a good leader, at the risk of sounding like a complete braggart, and if a million dollars is going to find its way into the hands of a rich guy whose name begins with the letter C... it’ll hopefully go to me and not Chris! If that guy touched it, he’d probably blow it frivolously on stuff he doesn’t need!


Suddenly, Chris’ cell phone rang, and Chris answered it. “Y...ello?” Chris said. “Yeah, the gargoyle statues would look great next to the swimming pool. Oh, and make sure to include another statue of me, and have one of the gargoyles feeding me grapes. On second thought, make sure all the gargoyle statues are feeding the Chris statue grapes, ‘kay?” Chris hung up. “Now where were we?” He looked around and pointed at the African-Canadian girl sporting a multi-colored afro and a vibrant multicolored dance outfit, who was holding the card with the letter D on it. “D is for...”

“D is for Desirae, the Dancing Queen, a mean, lean, dancin’ machine!” she stated. And at that moment, she performed the Disco Duck, a dance that none of the other 25 contestants could even master. They all clapped for her. “Can you dig it?”

“Groovy, Desirae!” Chris said. “Groovy! Really liking the fro, that is nice!”

“I’m here to bring some funk to this season of Total Drama... and this is what I’ma do to negativity!” Desirae mock-kicked some thin air. “Sha-ZAM!”

Needless to say, the others were impressed.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: Recognize and respect! Desirae Jackson has brought her steppin’ to New Wawanakwa, y’all! I’ma do all this for my girl LeShawna, and even since Chris tossed the sista in episode 22 of the TDI like she was a salad, her gameplay went downhill since then! And Desirae won’t let that happen no mo’! A sista is winnin’ this time, and Chris will be doin’ the Watusi when he’s writin’ ma check! And even when he’s not writin’ ma check, he gon’ dance it anyway!


Chris next pointed at the orange-haired boy wearing a red tanktop and blue shorts. He held the card with the letter E on it. “E is for...”

“E is for Elvio!” the boy exclaimed. “And fear not, ladies, all the sexiness of this season can be found right here!” Elvio began flexing his muscles, causing some of the girls to swoon.

“Um, I was pretty sure that I was all the sexiness for this season, but hey, whatever floats your boat, brah,” Chris said at Elvio.

“No prob, bro,” Elvio said, as he continued to flex.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ELVIO: Okay, I’m not really as much of a fan of this “Total Drama” as all the other people are, since to be honest, I didn’t really watch any of it at all! It was Anne Maria who introduced me to it, and Anne Maria... this is for you! [He flexes his muscles.] Oh yeah! I know this is a kiddy show, but I thought I’d bring my guns with me! I’ve got them right here, all loaded up, and ready to fire! [He flexes his muscles again.] Yep, I’m pretty sure this is what is going to get me the million, because who could say no to this? [He flexes his muscles yet again.]


The girl wearing an orange T-shirt, pink shorts, and a baseball cap was next up, and she was holding the card with the letter F. Chris pointed at her and said, “F is for...”

“F is for Francesca, and I’m a huge fan of this series, and I’ve been looking forward to competing in these challenges!” Francesca holds up a baseball bat and a baseball, and uses the baseball bat to send the baseball flying... where it hit a fish. The fish began cursing in fishtalk at the assailant.

“Heh...” Francesca admitted. “I guess I don’t know my own strength, huh?”


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

FRANCESCA: I’ve seen every season, and I know they usually cast a lot of musclebound males on it... but I’ve played a lot of sports in my lifetime... baseball, basketball, football, you name it... and I can be as beneficial to a sports team as any male! In fact, I really think I’m better than Chris in all of them! Chris has his badminton movie, right? Well, has he actually played it, let alone know what badminton is? In fact, I don’t think he’s even capable of successfully delivering a backhand!


Chris’ next contestant, who was holding the card with the letter G on it, was the gray haired boy with creepy yellowish-green eyes, who was wearing a shirt that had a broken heart sign on it, a tan sweater, and light blue pants. “G is for...”

“G is for Gareth, and THANK YOU, Chris McClean, for letting me on this show!” the boy said excitedly! “Finally, after sending in audition tape after audition tape, I make it! I may have been rejected from seasons one through four, but the fifth time’s the charm! I can do this! Yeah!”

Gareth pumps his fists in the air. The others just stare at him in awkward silence.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

GARETH: I guess my strategy of sending in an audition tape once per month has finally paid off! I kind of lost track how many I sent though... I think my most recent one was either my fifty-ninth or my sixtieth... oh well, I know it was the one where I belted out the lyrics to “We Built Gwen’s Face”, a.k.a. the best song ever from Season 3! [sings badly] They’re way ahead, so we’ve got to gooooooo! We’ve got to build something to sail, something weeeee... caaaaaan... rooowww-ooowww!


The Asian-Canadian boy wearing a green headband and a blue jacket with “#1” on it was next. He was holding the card with the letter H on it. “H is for...”

“H is for Hektor!” the boy exclaimed. “And even though this season is all about the alphabet, I just want to show everyone how important numbers are too! For instance, did you know that 26 is divisible by both 13 and 2?”

A few contestants awwed, making Gareth a bit jealous.

“That’s nice,” said Chris. “It’s not like anyone will care, though, but it’s still nice.”


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

HEKTOR: Gong-gong... po-po... I have made it, just like you wanted me to. Your grandson has survived astronomical odds... that’s 1 in probably about 10,000 audition tapes sent! But I feel that with the giant cast size... that’s 26 contestants this time, counting me, and that’s more than the biggest cast size record currently held by Total Drama Island, which is 22... so it may be more difficult for me to come in first place, like you wanted me to... I feel like I’m crossing a narrow tightrope here... maybe less than half an inch wide! But... I must do this!


Next is the girl who had green hair, green eyes, a green dress, green shoes... basically almost everything green. And she was holding a card with the letter I on it. “I is for...”

“I is for Ireland, and if I win the million dollars, I intend to make Muskoka a much greener place!” Ireland pulled out a basket of flowers, and shoved them in Chris’ face... and many of the contestants laughed at this!

“Yeah, because this is definitely not annoying at all!” Chris smiled sarcastically.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: The last season of Total Drama saddened me. How could Chris... how could anyone pollute the place where I spent summer vacations in the past... with all that sludge? I do not know if any parent will want to take their children there ever again. But little does he know that I am currently an active member of the “Wawanakwa Restoration Project”, which is devoted to restoring the original Camp Wawanakwa to its former glory. And yes, I do know that this is being recorded, because I want Chris to hear this when the series airs!


The African-Canadian boy whose outlandish hairstyle could remind anyone of a pencil was next up. “J is for...”

“J is for Justus, son,” said Justus. “Though coming here on a boat may have brought back, you know, some unpleasant memories. I mean, it’s not a bad boat, but still... ...yeah.”

“Sheesh, sounds like someone doesn’t want to be here. If you want, I can take you back...”

“Naw, it’s okay, man.” Justus responded. Chris was relieved (or was he disappointed?) that he didn’t get to send someone home earlier than normal after all.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

JUSTUS: My great-grandpappy came to this country from Africa as a slave. So surprise, I’m a bit bitter about white people, and of course, I hate Chris, but then again, who here don’t hate him? I like Chef, though... but not in that way, man. I see some other black people here, and I hope they on my team, because I feel more comfortable around minorities... blacks, Asians, Latinos... white people still scare me though, particularly some of the contestants here. Prove me wrong, fifth season! Prove me wrong!


It may have been taken a while for Chris to spot the boy who held the card with the letter K, who had black hair, wore sunglasses, a black leather jacket, and blue denim jeans and black boots, since he mostly kept to himself. “K is for...”

“Oh, sorry about that.” the boy said. “K is for Kieran, and right now that’s all you’re getting out of me.” Kieran put down the card and went back to brooding... or whatever it was he was previously doing. However, this didn’t stop a lot of the female contestants from swooning over him.

“O... ...kay then,” said Chris.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

KIERAN: At high school the girls were all over me, and here it’s no different. I’m not a social kind of person, and don’t get me wrong... I do want to win this game, but I think that I’d rather save my energy for the challenges than talking with people, since you never know what crazies Chris McClean has placed in this cast! Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to be left alone for a while. Thanks.


The orange-haired girl with the yellow dress was relieved she was finally next. “L is for...”

“Finally!” she shouted. “L is for Luna Moonstone, 15 years old, blood type A, and I LOVE TOTAL DRAMA! WOO! Let’s have lots of fun!” and then Luna began hugging Chris, like really tight.

“Um, lady...” Chris said. “I’d like it if you did not do that again, ‘kay?”

“Sorries!” Luna said.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

LUNA: All right, my first confessional of this season! Okay, this season is about the alphabet, right? Well, the first letter of my name is L, I think it’s really cool because it looks kind of like a chair, kind of like something you would sit on... you know, except without the legs, of course. But then again, there are some chairs that don’t have legs, I wonder if they’ll have anything like that here! A lot of letters in the alphabet look really cool... Q is kind of funny-looking... then again, so is S! But none of them are in my name... oh wait, there’s an S in “Moonstone”, my bad! I’d like to have a Q in my name, though... that’d be awesome!


Next was a brown-haired girl with glasses, a white T-shirt and green shorts. “M is for...”

“M is for Morganne, the reality TV fan!” said Morganne. “I’m glad I get to be a part of Total... Drama... Alpharama!” All the other contestants around her clapped.

“Um, okay,” said Chris. “But no one can say Total... Drama... Alpharama like I can. Work on it, though, and you’ll get there!”


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

MORGANNE: Eeeee! This is a reality TV fan’s dream come true! Someone pinch me! Oh, I guess no one did, but I’m still awake, and doing this right now, so I guess my dream has come true! Soon I get to witness it all in front of me... the showmances, the alliances, the backstabbing... as long as I’m a giver, not a receiver, of course! I’ve watched the first four seasons... and believe it or not, I also went on vacation to other countries like Australia or France that have already aired episodes in advance! I even learned a few French phrases too... n’est-ce pas?


The brown-haired girl wearing a light purple sweater was next. She nervously held up the card with the letter N. “N is for...”

“N is for Nevaeh, and please be nice to me, it’s my first time in a while around people my age! And don’t vote me off first, please!” Neveah blinked her eyes.

“Hmm... interesting. She could be eaten alive out here, but still... interesting.” Chris mused.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

NEVAEH: I’ve never been outside my neighborhood in a long while, so I admit, I’m a fish out of water here. The first season of Total Drama I watched was the recent one, and Cameron was in the position that I was in, and he seemed to do okay... plus I think he might be my type! ...But I don’t know if I’m the age where I’m allowed to date someone yet... there are times such as this where I still wish I had my parents by my side... they were always much better at this than I am!


Next is a yellow-haired girl wearing a blue and purple shirt. “O is for...”

She didn’t respond at first.

“Okay, let me try again.” Chris yelled at the girl. “O IS FOR!”

“Okay, you didn’t need to yell!” the girl said. “O is for Odessa... sorry if I didn’t hear that... I’m deaf, you see.”

Chris was stunned. “Wow, there’s something you don’t see every day.”


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ODESSA: It must be such an honor to be Total Drama’s first ever deaf contestant! I want to prove that in spite of my disability, I can be able to prove myself in challenges and in alliances just like normal people would! I can’t hear, but I can read lips, and I know sign language. Maybe being deaf is such a good thing, because I like not having to hear Chris’ voice, because from what my friends have told me, his voice is so annoying... it like grates on the eardrums, like nails on a chalkboard! [She makes a nails on a chalkboard motion with her hands.] Yes, that’s my sign for the name “Chris”... for now, at least.


The orange-haired boy wearing a pink cap, yellow shirt, light-blue pants, and bling shaped like the letter P was next. “P is for...”

“Yo yo yo! P to the ayson, my name is Payson, my heart is racin’, but don’t you be hatin’ else I be eliminatin’... you from the competition, that is!” Payson crossed his arms. “Peace!”

“I think I just found this season’s Ezekiel,” said Chris. “Whoever... that guy was again. I don’t know, was he the guy wearing the red tracksuit?”


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

PAYSON: This show be off the hook, yo. I took a look at all the mad lets everywhere, and I thought at first, “This season be as cool as grade school!” But will the Payson give up? I kinda doubt it, because this season, P-boy’s all ‘bout it! And if I didn’t know better, this show’s still about the cheddar! Everything is everything! Word up!

(Onscreen caption: What the heck is that boy saying...?)


The Latino boy with a red bandana, blue shirt and khaki shorts is next. “Q is for...”

“Q is for Quillon, homes!” the boy responded, and then gave Payson a high-five. “Orale, vato!”

“I can tell that I’m not needed for a while...” Chris said, slowly backing away.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

QUILLON: Total Drama has not once had a boy from the barrio on this show before. And I think it’s muy chido that this season has one... in other words, yo. The barrio was such a tough place to live in growin’ up... my mami and papi each had to have like a second job just to make ends meet, and I barely see them anymore, ese... except during the weekends. With un millon, I could finally live the dream! All I have to do is put up with that tonto Chris and his loco challenges... I tell you, he won’t last un minuto in my neighborhood!


The Jamaican boy sporting a black, gold, and green shirt, and dreadlocks in his hair, was next up. “R is for...”

“R be for Ross, mon!” he responded. “Wappun? Ease up, unoself, and relax, I and I have arrived! Ev’ryt’ing be irie!”

Chris stared at him in awkward silence.

“Okay... what the heck are you saying? Dude, you’re freaking me out over here.”


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ROSS: In Jamaica, we a say “Cris”, and we a say it when we a say somet’ing cool. But that Chris nuh cool! But me a do dis t’ing for me key D.J. Since he be on de first t’ree seasons and appear in de fourth, he be Mr. Mention, and were it not for dat obeah in Egypt, he would have won! Me a like D.J., but me nuh coward like he. Me a compete in de volleyball tournaments, so me have powa. Undastan why dey a call me de Masta of da Rasta! [He twirls his volleyball on his finger.]


The tall gray-haired boy wearing a gray sweater was next. “S is for...”

“S is for Skyler,” he said. “And I have been watching enough of Total Drama to know that you, dear Chris, are one of the finest hosts of any reality series to date! You are a true inspiration!” Skyler began shaking Chris’ hand.

“Dude, are you seriously like coming on to me?” Chris said in bewilderment. “Or are you flattering me, because I like that option!”


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

SKYLER: I will not lose. I have devised a perfect strategy that is going to bring me to the final two, and then the victory. I have prepared far in advance, both physically [he flexes his muscles] and mentally [points to his brain]. However, I can see that thirteen of the contestants in this cast do not have what it takes yet, so they are out of my alliance for now. I shall start on the other twelve, though... and for the record, I am not going to tell you any of their names... since at this point, I’m still trying to keep track of them all.


A girl with glasses and pink streaks in her hair was next. She was wearing a goth outfit. “T is for...”

“T is for Talwen, and yep, that means I get to be the token goth this season. So feel free to make fun of me if you wish... it’s not like any of your insults will ever get to me.” Talwen then opened her book and started reading it.

“I... uh... er... uh... ...NOT FAIR!” Chris complained.


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

TALWEN: Chris has a habit of putting goths in the cast because he thinks we like to drink blood and draw symbols on the ground and summon evil creatures... well, it didn’t work with Gwen, and it’s not going to work with me! And by the way, I did do a magnificent picture of Chris on DeviantArt... it took about a month to make, but I think I managed to get the right shade of grey for the horns... and the tail suits him. I still think he might have one under his clothes... but I’m not going to tell him that.


The African-Canadian girl wearing a purple top and blue skirt was next. She was also shoeless. “U is for...”

“U is for Unique, and while I am indeed unique, I’ll be whatever you want me to be, Chris!” She then winked and blew Chris a kiss.

Chris was excited. “If that doesn’t increase the male demographic, I don’t know what will!”


CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: All you girls watchin’ out there at home, this is a body the way it should be... no cosmetic surgery, and not too much makeup. I like that Chris was able to fall for my charms as soon as I set foot on the dock, because let’s face it, he really needs a girlfriend. I’m probably going to work my feminine wiles on the boys for a while... and if I do go topless, I hope you’ve got that blur filter handy, producers! This is a family show... I think.


Next is a slightly overweight Latina with red hair and an orange dress. “V is for...”

He was met with a slap on the cheek.

Callate la boca! I think the people at home are getting sick of your kiddy alphabet intro by now, comprende? I’m Velandra, by the way,” she said in a thick Hispanic accent, and then turned her back to Chris. “You’re welcome!”

Chris was still rubbing his cheek. “Hello, first boot...” he said to himself.


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VELANDRA: Yeah, I’m just going to let everyone watching this show know that I don’t like stupid people, or anyone who’s so full of themselves, or anyone who thinks they can try to pull a fast one over on me! Velandra Martinez is no fool! Nothing is going to get past me! [At this point, a spider tries to crawl behind Velandra, but as the spider is about to leave, Velandra looks behind her, and catches it with her hand.] That joke is not going to work for the second season in a row, comprende? [The spider makes a surrendering motion.]


A somewhat bulkish boy with brown hair, a green sweater with the letter W and blue pants was next. “W is for...”

“W is for Ward Strong!” Ward shouted. “WOOO! GO BREAKERS! LET’S SCORE A TOUCHDOWN!” Ward picked up a football and threw it at Chris. “Yeah!”

“Don’t throw things at me, okay? At least not until the challenge!” said Chris.

Meanwhile, the fish from the docks laughed at him.

“Oh, shut up.”


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WARD: Yep, that’s what I am. I’m a jock, I’m skilled at... FOOTBALL! ...so, of course, I might be good in the challenges that require strength, which I hope a lot of them are this season. But... ...I’m ashamed to admit this, but I might have trouble with some mental stuff... the brainy... thinky things. I’ve flunked a few tests and... [He notices the cameraman laughing and shouts.] WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? ARE MY TEST SCORES FUNNY TO YOU? [Ward realizes what he has just done.] ...Crap. I yelled at someone again. [He covers his mouth with his hand.]


An Asian-Canadian girl with black and grey hair, a gray top, and turquoise shorts was next up. “X is for...”

“X is for Xev, and I believe I am the first contestant in Total Drama history whose name begins with X, right?” she said. “I love this season and its theme!” She became excited, and then hugged Chris.

“I just love giving people what they want!” said Chris.


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XEV: I am a MAJOR fan of Total Drama, but I was so worried that someone like me was never going to be accepted, I didn’t even bother applying at first, but one day, when I attended an open casting call in a shopping mall in Medicine Hat, I saw that they specifically asked people what the first letters of their names were. So I played along, and I was like “Hi, I’m Xev, and my name begins with X!” And guess what? I got picked! Yaaay! [She claps her hands.] By the way, I know you were looking at my hair, weren’t you? Yeah, I tend to get that a lot. I guess that’s what happens when the letter X automatically makes you... sort of a celebrity, but not really.


The girl with pink hair, a blue dress, and purple boots was next on the list. “Y is for...”

“Y is for York Sands, and it’s nice to be here!” she said excitedly. “I have been dying to be on a show like this! I’m 16, I do volunteer work, and I am currently studying to be a famous chemist. Everyone’s gotta have their goals, right?”

The other contestants cheer for her.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Chris. “Whatever you say.”


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YORK: By the way, all that stuff I said about doing volunteer work and wanting to be a chemist? Well, that... ...that’s actually true. However, I left out that I have won several beauty pageants, and that I signed onto this show to become a villainess. Because, after all, a reality series isn’t a reality series without one! I have watched every episode of Total Drama Island, Action, and World Tour. Heather is my muse! As for Revenge of the Island? Scott’s okay, but I think he was focusing too much on trying to sabotage whatever team he was on. Me? I’m equal opportunity! I could sabotage my own team or someone else’s! Right now, I’m sticking with the latter option, thanks.


“And now we come to the end of the alphabet,” announced Chris. “Z is for...”

The guy of Arabian descent with tattoos on his body, who was wearing white training pants and a yin-yang necklace woke from his meditation. “Oh, sorry, I was just meditating.” He stood up. “Z is for Zakeri, and I know karate, judo, kung fu, jujitsu, capoeira, tae kwon do... just martial arts in general. I am a great asset to any team!”

Zakeri did a really cool martial arts pose that impressed the other 25 contestants, as well as Chris.

“Yeah, I can see you’re gonna last a while!” Chris exclaimed.


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ZAKERI: When I was in elementary school, I was bullied, like a lot, and my parents signed me up for karate and judo lessons. I know when you look at the guys doing that stuff on TV, you’d think it’s so cool you’d want to just do it to anyone you meet for no reason... but I know that martial arts should not be abused that way. I tend to use it for self-defense... then again, secretly, I’ve always wanted to use a roundhouse kick on Chris. Because, honestly, who here hasn’t wanted to do that?


“And there we have it!” the host beamed. “With a cast this big, who knows how much drama there’s going to be? Okay, now it’s time for the obligatory photo shoot, because even though this is just the first episode, people are going to be finding these cast photos online anyway, so we might as well do this, and do it right, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, whatever you say, Mister Hairgel,” said Ashlynn sarcastically, as she joined the others while doing the Obligatory Cast Photo Shoot On The Dock Of Shame (TM)!

“Okay, everyone, say ‘New Wawanakwa’!”

“New Wawanakwa!” All twenty-six contestants shouted... even Odessa, who, while deaf, could still read Chris’ lips.

After Chris took the photo of the cast, and was shocked when he realized that all twenty-six cast members were clearly visible in the photo and none of them were cut out or completely covered up or anything, he said, “Perfect! This one is going straight onto the Total Drama website! Okay, now it’s time for me to show all of you the bonfire pit, where all the drama begins, and the contestants’ life in the game ends! I’m sure all of you are dying to want to go there often!”


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BLAINE: Wrong!


- A -

Chris and the twenty-six contestants took a look at the new bonfire ceremony. Though it was broad daylight, the place would soon be more active during the night, where fires would glow in their fiery colors of orange and red, and sustenance would be doled out to survivors of any vote-off.

“This is the Bonfire Ceremony,” Chris explained. “Whenever a team loses a challenge, that team will be able to cast their vote for whoever they want off the island, and if that person gets the most votes, then they become someone else’s problem!”

“Wow,” said Nevaeh nervously. “It’s probably going to get really scary out here...”

“You’re a smart girl, aren’t you?” said Chris. “But luckily none of you are going to have to go through with that tonight, because for this day only, all twenty-six of you are safe!”

“Really?” Luna beamed happily. “Yaysies! I get to stay!”

“Aw man, are you serious?” said Elvio. “But what if there’s someone I want to get rid of, like, right now?”

“‘Fraid you’re gonna have to wait ‘till next time, brah,” Chris replied.

“Dude, this sucks...” Elvio complained.

“But enough of this bonfire ceremony talk. I think it’s time to eat. Follow me to the mess hall!” Chris instructed.

- A -

The twenty-six teens (even though most of them ate before they got here) went to the mess hall. “Ah, the mess hall,” Chris explained. “This is where you tykes will be able to nosh on assorted foodstuffs, as long as it’s edible and/or legal to eat in all ten provinces! And the meals for this season are being prepared by a celebrity!”

Chris motioned toward the preparer of the meals.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m back. Now if ya don’t like what I serve, tough. I don’t want to hear no complainin’.”

“That’s right,” said Chris. “From the first four seasons, it’s our very own Chef Hatchet!”

The twenty-six contestants stood there, nonplussed.


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TALWEN: Chef Hatchet is a celebrity? [laughs] Oh man... that was the funniest joke I heard all day!

FRANCESCA: I’m not normally into girly things like cooking, but I know I can cook better than that guy! Besides, I don’t know who would want this guy to cook their food for them!

SKYLER: I trust Chef Hatchet. He’s been on Total Drama for all four of the seasons that have aired so far, and his culinary skills have improved over time, I wager. He is an inspiration. If the recipes for the meals he serves haven’t been published in a cookbook yet, they should be.

VELANDRA: Anyone who liked the slop that Chef Hatchet served in the first four seasons is straight messed up!

CHEF: Them ungrateful kids need to quit their whinin’. I’m doin’ my best, dangit!


The contestants were in line, waiting for Chef to serve their lunches. However, the lunch for the day was very special, as not only was it prepared correctly (what a shocker!), it also had a theme.

On the contestants’ plates were some apple slices, some asparagus, and a glass of apple juice. A big bowl of alphabet soup was placed in the middle of the tray, and there were some animal crackers for dessert.

“Apple slices, apple juice, alphabet soup,” Xev observed. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were serving us food that begins with the letter A, right?”

“We have a winner!” said Chef. “Here’s yo’ prize, girly!”

Chef poured some more alphabet soup into Xev’s bowl than she already had.

“Um... thanks,” said Xev.

While Xev took her lunch to a table, Gareth was already trying to find someone to sit next to. He tried the table that Ashlynn and York were sitting at, but they pushed him away.

“Ew,” said York. “How disgusting.”

“Yeah, go sit somewhere else!” said Ashlynn. Gareth left dejected.


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GARETH: This kind of stuff always happens back in high school! Oh well... if I win the million dollars, I will show them!


Skyler had already gotten his tray with food on it, and went over to a table that Elvio, Ward, and Payson were sitting at.

“Hey, bro,” said Payson. “What’s crack-a-lackin’?”

“I think I just found the perfect table,” said Skyler, sitting in the table’s empty space.

“Well, to be honest, we were saving that spot just in case a girl showed up,” Ward admitted. “But having an all-guy table is okay.”

“I know,” said Elvio. “It’s awesome, right, bro?”

“That it is, bro.” Skyler agreed.

“Amen, bro,” said Payson.

“So,” said Skyler. “Want to form an early alliance while we’re here?”

Skyler held out his hand, and Elvio, Ward and Payson held out their hands too.

“Early alliance!”

“This is going to be the best alliance ever, bro!” said Elvio.

“Indeed, bro,” said Ward.

While the four boys at the table were chatting it up, Velandra watched them and looked repulsed.


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VELANDRA: If I keep having to hear these guys say “bro” to each other over and over again, I swear one day I am going to take one of the canoes to the Dock of Shame and paddle myself out of here!

ELVIO: This Vanessa... or... whatever, that V girl keeps giving us weird looks. I’d like to see her voted off, because she really scares me, bro.

SKYLER: It’s good to form an alliance as early as possible. Only the strong survive, and I want to align with people who I trust are as good in challenges as I am. Ward is on a football team, and I can see that Elvio has been working out... Payson told me he dances, so he must be agile and limber... and I will probably be the brains of the alliance, unless I find someone else as smart as I am.


Meanwhile, Kieran was just getting some food and putting it on his tray.

“Thanks,” Kieran said. But instead of sitting at a table, Kieran chose to take his food outside with him.

“I swear, that boy is crazy,” Desirae said to Unique at their table.

“I don’t know if he’s coming back,” Unique said. “Which is a shame, because he’s super hot!”

As soon as Kieran took his lunch outside, he headed for a nice, secluded spot where he could enjoy his lunch all by himself... and then he was surprised when he saw Gareth sitting there.

“They kicked you out too, huh?” Gareth said.


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KIERAN: I can’t wait until some people get voted off, because with twenty-six contestants... it’s going to be hard to find some privacy.


After the contestants ate their lunch, Chris’ voice boomed over the P.A. system. “Okay, everyone, it’s time for your first challenge! And for this challenge, you might want to bring your A game!” Chris then laughed at his joke. The other contestants just stood there silently, except for Odessa.

“Um, I don’t understand what he was saying,” said Odessa. “I’m deaf, you see.”

“Trust me, it was nothing important, other than just a bad pun involving the letter A,” Blaine said to her.


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ODESSA: Why doesn’t Chris get with the times and install like video monitors in the mess hall or something? Because maybe then I’d be able to read his lips!


- A -

The twenty-six contestants met Chris at a grove of apple trees that were planted near the campsite. Chris was holding a huge basket filled with apples, and he took one of the apples out of the basket and took a bite out of it (the apple, not the basket).


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MORGANNE: I’ve watched a lot of reality TV shows to know that certain seasons have themes and gimmicks, so I pretty much guessed what the first challenge was about even before I saw it with my own eyes. This is basically a needle-in-a-haystack type of challenge, which is one of those luck-based things, and at this point, I could use all the luck I can get!


Chris held up a giant capital letter A. “A... is for apple,” he said, and then he took an apple out of the basket. Since it was the apple he took a bite out of, many of the contestants were a bit frightened.

“Today’s challenge, brought to you by the letter A, is called ‘Apple Alphabet Alley’! Yeah, this place has a lot of apple trees, and a lot of red, delicious apples. However, some of these apples have stickers with letters of the alphabet on them, like this one.” Chris held up an apple with a sticker on it that looked like the letter A. “As for where they are? Shyeah, like I’d tell you! You have to find them yourself! Each of you will take one of these baskets, and when you find an apple that has a letter of the alphabet on it, you will put the apple in your basket. You must bring back 26 apples, each one with one of the 26 letters on it, and when you do that, you will have completed the challenge!”

The contestants are excited.

“There is no time limit to this challenge, but the challenge will end when a certain number of you have completed it. I won’t say how many, though. That’s what makes it so interesting!”

Chris laughs, and the campers just stare at him.

“Also, there is a twist to this challenge, and it involves the letter A. However, that is all I will tell you... for now. This is a fun challenge, and our new intern play-tested it, and she assured me it’s safe. Come on out, Alyssa!”

A brown-haired girl wearing a blue shirt and brown shorts appeared. She was holding a basket with twenty-six apples in it, each with a different letter sticker on it.

“The things I do for a paycheck, because after all, I do want that new computer,” Alyssa smiled as she put her basket down. Alyssa then addressed the contestants. “Hi, my name is Alyssa, and I will be helping out in this challenge! Whenever you think you have brought back apples with all 26 letters on them, bring your basket to me, and I will take a look at the apples. I can tell if you’re missing one, so make sure you’ve found it, okay?”

“Yeah,” said Chris. “It’s basically what I just told them, Alyssa, but not bad for your first time here.”

“Thanks!” beamed Alyssa.


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ALYSSA: Oh my gosh, I’m so glad I’m an intern! This basically gives me a leg up on the contestants, because then I am guaranteed to make it through all 26 days! I am planning on writing a weekly segment called “A Is For Alyssa”, about my experiences on Total Drama Alpharama and New Wawanakwa! Since no one’s getting voted off yet, I won’t be doing any contestant interviews today, but I may chat with contestants from seasons past! And since today’s theme is the letter A, I’m thinking Alejandro and Anne Maria are going to be my guests. Maybe the surgery Alejandro received recently will have made him Señor Studmuffin again! Eeeee!

TALWEN: Alyssa’s an aspiring writer, just like me! I am positive that the two of us are going to be friends with each other when the show is over!

BLAINE: Alyssa will no doubt write about whatever secret about the show she can find out, so I know she’s going to write about my connection with Mildred. But I’m not worried. When I make it much longer than the two episodes she was in, Alyssa will have plenty to write about!


The twenty-six contestants each had a basket with them, and they were waiting at the starting line.

“Okay, everyone, you can all start when I say the word ‘Go’!”

At this point, all twenty-six contestants headed off.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant! Oh well, this is much funnier! Especially since the O girl joined in, even though she couldn’t hear what I was saying!”

“And that makes her different from the rest of the contestants because?” snarked Alyssa.

“Oh, shut up.”

- A -

The contestants were all scrambling, searching tree after tree after tree looking for apples that had stickers with letters of the alphabet on them. Some were off searching by themselves, while others were searching in groups... like, for instance, Skyler, and his new alliance-mates Elvio, Ward, and Payson.

“What do I see in that tree?” said Payson, who saw an apple with a letter sticker on it. “An apple with a G appears before me!” Payson picked the apple off the branch, and put it into his basket.

“Nice! I wonder if there are others like that one on the tree, you know, just so that we don’t have to like search the entire orchard looking for them,” said Elvio.

Payson looked at the rest of the apples on the tree, but couldn’t find any with stickers on them. “Nope, none here, dawg.”

“Oh well, on to another tree then!” said Skyler.

“I see one!” said Ward, looking at an apple with a sticker on it on the tree ahead of them. He rushed toward it, and found that it had the letter Q on it.

“I don’t have that one,” he said, so he picked it up and put it in his basket.

“I see one too!” Skyler said, finding an apple with the letter D on it. “I’m pretty sure I don’t have one like this, but I will give this to someone who doesn’t have one... if you don’t have one, raise your hand!”

Payson and Elvio raised their hands.

“Sorry, Elvio, but Payson raised his hand first, so he gets this one!” Skyler gave the apple to Payson.

“Aw man!” groaned Elvio. “But I think I see another one!” Elvio said as he reached out toward an apple that had the letter B on it.

“So how many apples do we have now?” asked Ward. “I think I have seven.”

“I have eight,” said Elvio.

“I gots nine, and I’m feelin’ fine!” said Payson.

“I happen to have eight as well,” said Skyler. “I guess we’re all like one-third of the way there, so we should be okay!”

“I hear that, bro!” said Ward.


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WARD: I know I could just go off and search for the apples by myself, but I like working in a group. Skyler seems to know what he’s doing. Plus, if there’s a letter I like already have, I can give it to one of my bros who doesn’t have one! This is just like the pizza parties at high school! Only with apples instead of pizza slices.

SKYLER: I had a feeling that this was going to be a challenge where the teams would be decided, so I made sure the four of us stuck together just so the chances of us ending up on the same team increased. I have a plan to keep this alliance to the finals, and I intend to stick to it!


Odessa seemed to be a bit confused about the challenge. She could read lips, but there were possibly other people in front of her at the time, and she didn’t interpret Chris’ instructions correctly, so she just grabbed apples off the trees that didn’t have stickers on them.

At this point, Quillon saw her grabbing apples, and immediately signed “Don’t pick these apples” with his hands, in front of her.

“Whoa!” Odessa was surprised. “You know sign language?”

Simon, chica.”

A smile appeared on Odessa’s face.


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QUILLON: Eh, there are a lot of shouting matches going on in the streets where I grew up, and if I speak up, you know my voice is gonna get drowned out, man. So I had to learn sign just like I had to learn Spanish and French. I didn’t need to raise my voice to get my message across to gangs like Los Diablos Amarillos! They just left after I showed them this... [He makes the sign for “Go Away”.]

ODESSA: Quillon is my hero! I used to think that I would be an outcast because of my disability, but I’m glad someone is there for me! Ah... [She swoons.]


Nevaeh was overjoyed when she was picking some apples, since she found one with the letter K on it and put it in her basket.


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NEVAEH: I really like this challenge. Apple-picking was something I used to do in my childhood with my parents... but I feel like this is the first time doing it without them. It felt so free... I think I could basically do this challenge forever!


Just then, Connor walked over to where Nevaeh was picking.

“Oh, hey... Neeva... Navia... um, how do you pronounce your name anyway?” Connor asked.

“Nuh-VEE-uh,” Nevaeh said. “My name is really hard to say, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, and you’d have to be pretty lucky to find someone who’d say my name wrong,” Connor replied, before picking an apple with the letter E on it.

“Yeah,” Nevaeh replied back. And then the two of them stared into each other’s eyes for a while, and...

“Oh, look at the time!” said Connor. “I guess I should finish quickly... after all, I do want to be one of the first ones there!” Connor picked another apple with the letter Q on it and went back to look for some more.

“Good luck!” Nevaeh shouted to him.


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CONNOR: I think I may be in love with Nee...vea, or whoever her name is. I may have already gotten one million dollars, but surprisingly I didn’t need any of it to actually get a girl, because I suddenly found one on the first day! I wonder how much money I have to earn to find a cure for my sleeping disorder, because I must be dreaming! This can’t be happening... [He swoons with a smile on his face.]


Talwen and Ireland were looking for some more apples. Talwen has found an apple with the letter A on it, and put it in her basket. Ireland spotted one with the letter J on it, but it was on a branch far above her reach.

“I can’t seem to get it!” Ireland said, and she struggled trying to climb the tree. Just as she fell...

“Punch!”

Zakeri came over to them, punched the tree, and the apple fell off the branch. Ireland went over to the apple, and picked it up, and Zakeri found an apple with the letter S on it nearby and picked that up too.

“Wow,” Talwen said, impressed at what she just saw.


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TALWEN: Zakeri is a lot like those guys in fanfiction who say they know a lot of martial arts... and actually do perform martial arts! I think most people in my circle would see him as kind of a Gary Stu, but who cares? He’s hot!

ZAKERI: All I have to do is find the right spot on the tree, and hit it, and the apple falls. Apparently the trees in this apple orchard have pressure points... who knew?

IRELAND: I only hope he didn’t hurt those trees... I mean, sure it looks cool, but still... that’s scary when you think about it!


Justus was searching for crazy for some more apples that had letters on them, and he wasn’t having much luck.

“Aw dang!” he said. “I only got three so far... they shouldn’t be this difficult!”

Just then, Unique walked by him. And when Justus saw her body, he froze for just about ten seconds, and had a small smile on his face.


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JUSTUS: Dang... that shorty is definitely a 10!

UNIQUE: I seem to be drawn to a lot of boys today... and I like it!


At this point, Justus went walking and he saw an apple with the letter Y on it. “That’s four... yeah, man, now I got this!” he said and picked it up. Ross walked over to him.

“Wappun, mon?” Ross said.

“Oh, hey, man,” Justus said. “I can’t believe the girl with the finest booty in the cast was just here... I know I”ve been having trouble finding these apples, and thanks to her, I just found another one.” Suddenly, he spotted two apples with the letters I and A on them, and he picked them. “And I just found two more!”

Ross spotted an apple with the letter B on it and put it into his basket. “Mebbe dat girl put an obeah pon ya, one that be givin’ you good luck!”

“Yeah, probably,” Justus said, and then he found an apple with the letter V on it. “Or maybe it’s because I tend to do a bit better with other people my race around me.”

“Hmm... could be,” Ross shrugged.

“Say... want to form an alliance for a while? I think we would work so well together, dawg.”

“No prob, brudda!”

Justus and Ross shook hands.


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ROSS: What can me say? I and I like de alliance with Justus, since it feels so good to help a brudda out! It probably would’ve been wicked if D.J. and I had been on de same season, mon... for one t’ing, nuh curse in Egypt! Plus, D.J. makes de best roti!


While some of the contestants seemed to be doing good with nine or ten apples found so far, Gareth was still coming up empty.

“This is tough,” he said to himself. “Why has everyone else found an apple with a sticker on it except me?”

Just then, Gareth found an apple with a Z sticker on it, but just as he was about to grab it, Francesca found it first. “Finders keepers!” she shouted.

Then, Gareth looked around and found an apple with a T sticker on it, but Blaine went over and grabbed it. “You snooze, you lose!” he shouted at Gareth.

Gareth would not give up. He then spotted an apple with an E sticker on it, and climbed the tree to get it. However, Luna swung on a branch like a chimpanzee (and made some monkey noises, too) and snatched the apple from the branch.

“No!” Gareth moaned.


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GARETH: Nothing is going my way! Nothing! Is the whole world against me or what?


The twenty-six contestants... okay, the twenty-five contestants not named Gareth... were making some progress. Most of them have made it to thirteen apples already.

“Yep, the first challenge of any Total Drama season is typically the easiest,” Chris said to himself. “But I’m going to change that.”

Chris went over to his microphone and pressed a button, and soon his voice was blaring over the P.A. system. “Oh, and remember when I said that A was for apple? Well, I thought I’d add something to the challenge, because A is also for alligator!” The speakers resonated with his laugh.

Chris pressed another button, and soon some gates near the apple orchard opened. Alligators that were about six feet long and had bright yellow eyes spawned out of the gates. “And in keeping with the alphabet theme, there are twenty-six alligators too, one for each of you!” Chris’ voice shouted over the loudspeakers. The twenty-six alligators headed off in different directions to chase their prey. Alyssa looked on in shock. She had certainly never witnessed something like this before!


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ALYSSA: Alligators?! Chris never told me about any alligators when I playtested the challenge! Okay, I think Chris is starting to go back to his Revenge of the Island ways... [She writes something down on a notepad.]

CHRIS: Dude, why are you lookin’ at me like that? These are just normal alligators, brah. I promised I wasn’t going to use any of the mutated animals from last season, and I’m staying true to my word! So seriously... stop giving me that look. Okay?


Ashlynn and Morganne were picking some more apples with letters on them, when they noticed two alligators staring at them, licking their lips.

“Yikes,” said Morganne. “When Chris said ‘A is for Alligator’, he really meant it!”


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MORGANNE: Total Drama is probably the only teen reality series where the host can get away with putting teens in life-threatening situations! [smiles] And I’m so glad I get to be a part of it!

ASHLYNN: Oh my gosh, there are freaking alligators in the challenge! If I tell people at school about this, they are definitely going to call me the crazy ditzy blonde girl now, since no one will believe my story!


Just then, as Morganne and Ashlynn were being chased by alligators, Zakeri (also being chased by an alligator), ran over to the alligators and delivered a swift flying kick to both of them, as well as a quick punch to the alligator behind him. The three alligators, reeling from the attack, slinked away. [Alligators remaining: 23]

“I can’t believe how awesome that was,” Ashlynn said to Zakeri. “You are definitely my hero.”

“I knew those martial arts skills of yours would come in handy!” said Morganne.

“Eh, it was nothing, really,” Zakeri said humbly.


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ZAKERI: This is exactly the kind of stunt Chris would pull. My hands and feet are going to be pretty busy this season... [He blows on his hands, and rubs them together.]


Meanwhile, Elvio, Skyler, Ward and Payson had just run into four alligators of their own. Each alligator had been trained to go after one of the contestants, and the boys were starting to see the folly of sticking in a group of four.


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PAYSON: This is straight-up wack! All these gators have to step in on our turf! Come on, man! You’re supposed to be gators, not haters!

WARD: Okay, these gators had to go DOWN!


Ward ripped off his sweater, and started punching one of the alligators square in the jaw.

“I’ve done some alligator wrestling too, let me join in!” said Skyler, as he whaled on another one. Payson did a spinning kick to knock another alligator out. “I learned this move on the dance floor, yo,” he stated. Elvio beat up on the fourth one. “You’re not getting my apples, bro!” he shouted. The four alligators left the challenge embarrased. [Alligators remaining: 19]

“That was a close one, man,” Ward said, still trying to regain his composure after the sudden alligator encounter.

“And this is what happens when a group of four strong people stick together!” said Skyler. “So much can be accomplished when there’s safety in numbers!”

“Wow, that’s deep, yo,” said Payson.

BANG BANG WO!” a nearby voice shouted in Chinese. It was Hektor, who was also being chased by an alligator licking its lips.

“This kid’s delusional...” said Elvio. “He thinks he’s got a gun... that’s cute.”

“That’s not what it means,” said Hektor. “It’s Chinese for SAVE ME!”

Skyler was eyeing the situation.


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SKYLER: I was wondering when my fifth alliance member would fall into my lap. Hektor? Well, you would see him as someone who isn’t that good in physical challenges. But I do know that he is a mathlete, which would make him a valuable asset in mental challenges. I had no choice. I had to save him.


Skyler leaped over to where the alligator was chasing Hektor and wrestled the alligator, of course. The alligator went off to join the others that were chased off by Skyler and the gang. [Alligators remaining: 18]

“Aiyaah... That was a relief,” said Hektor. “Thank you for saving me.”

“It was a pleasure,” said Skyler. “By the way, would you like to join our alliance?”

“I’d love to!” Hektor beamed excitedly, shaking Skyler’s hand.


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HEKTOR: I have never before been part of a group of people that included someone other than just nerds like myself! And Skyler made me feel welcome! I am not going to forget this day!

ELVIO: I don’t know what the big deal is with the new guy. I mean, he’s a math geek. A math geek. Those are the types of people I don’t usually associate with. I hope Skyler knows what he’s doin’, bro...


Desirae, Xev, and Velandra were adding some more apples to their collections. Desirae climbed a tree and retrieved and apple with a T on it. She put it in her basket.

“Yeah!” shouted Xev. “You go, girl!”

“Yeah, show that tree who’s boss!” said Velandra, who also found an apple with a Q on it.

The three alligators who watched the girls began to slowly approach them.

“Oh heck naw!” said Desirae, who quickly leaped at the three alligators with a dance kick. “SHAZAM!” The three alligators, defeated, went away to join the others. [Alligators remaining: 15]


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DESIRAE: Okay, who let these gators onto the dance floor? This is some funky jazz right here... and only that jive turkey Chris would be responsible!


“Wow, that was impressive!” said Xev.

“Ten dance tournaments later, and this girl’s legs still work, baby!” said Desirae. “They ain’t failed me yet!”

“If only I had legs like that,” said Velandra. “But you’ll have to settle for these things. Sorry!”


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XEV: Desirae and Velandra are great friends to have around. So far, the only thing we three have in common is that we have crazy hairstyles. Speaking of, I would love to know how Desirae gets hers up like that. What’s her secret?!

VELANDRA: I love Desirae and Xev to death! They seem pretty real enough, unlike some of the phonies around here! If I were to be separated from those two, and put on some other team, I don’t know what would happen!


Connor and Nevaeh spotted an apple that had a W on it. “Say, Nevaeh, do you have an apple with a W on it?”

“Why, yes, I think I do,” said Nevaeh.

“Then I guess this one’s mine then,” Connor said. Connor reached out and grabbed the apple. However, as he did that, he was met with a green scaly snout and lots of sharp pointy teeth.

“A... alligator...!” Nevaeh shrieked.


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NEVAEH: This is one of the things my parents warned me about... I may never go apple-picking again!

CONNOR: I bet Chris must have had a lot of money lying around to pay for those alligators! Of course, that’s not how I would spend my millions, because after all, no sane person does that!


Connor and Nevaeh were trying to run away from those alligators as fast as possible. “I think we should be safe here,” said Connor to Nevaeh as they found a far-off tree. Connor spotted an apple with the letter J on it. He reached over to pick it, but saw two familiar snouts emerge from the leaves. Connor quickly backed his hand away when one of those snouts tried to bite his hand.


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CONNOR: Last I checked, alligators couldn’t climb trees. What is wrong with this show anyway?


Gareth was having no luck at all. Not only had he failed to snag a single apple with a letter sticker on it, but now there was an alligator chasing after him! Whenever Gareth would find such an apple, the alligator would extend its jaws and eat the apple! The alligator would occasionally bite on Gareth’s arm just for fun.

“Ow!” Gareth screamed as the alligator bit his arm.


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GARETH: This is not funny, Chris! NOT FUNNY!


Ireland and Talwen had their apple-picking session interrupted by two alligators as well.

“This is too much!” Ireland shrieked. Talwen picked up some stones and began throwing them at the alligators.

“What are you doing?” Ireland shouted.


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IRELAND: Oh dear, those poor alligators. It must hurt them when someone throws things at them. I mean, I know it’s only for self-defense in this case, but... those poor alligators!

TALWEN: This scenario looks like it came out of a bad fanfiction! Unless you’re making a drawing for a children’s alphabet book, you should never put an alligator anywhere near an apple orchard... ever!


Unique went over to Talwen and Ireland, who were being chased by alligators. “Hey, what’s going on?” she said.

“L... look behind you...” said Ireland. Unique immediately noticed that a third alligator appeared and was chasing after her.

Suddenly, the alligator who chased after Unique took a good look at her body. In an instant, the alligator’s eyes turned to pink heart symbols. The other two alligators looked at Unique, and their eyes turned to heart symbols too. Then, all three alligators swooned as they saw Unique. It’s safe to say that the three alligators were stunned unconscious for a while. [Alligators remaining: 12]

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say those alligators were in love with you, Unique!” joked Talwen.


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UNIQUE: I guess I must be the female version of Justin... I’ve got such a beautiful body that all the animals around me will instantly fall in love with it! But still, this is pretty weird...


Kieran was, of course, picking some apples all by himself. Just then, an alligator crawled up to him. Kieran took off his shades, noticed the alligator, and then quickly punched the alligator in its snout.

“Do you mind?” he said to the alligator, as he put his shades back on, and resumed searching. The alligator quietly left. [Alligators remaining: 11]


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KIERAN: Geez, how hard is it to get some freaking privacy around here?


Odessa was nervous when she saw two alligators staring down both her and Quillon. However, the barrio boy quickly snuck behind the two alligators, and tied their scaly tails together when they weren’t looking.

“Yo! Caimanes estupidos! Your mother got turned into a handbag!” Quillon taunted. The alligators tried to chase after Quillon, but since their tails were tied together, they tripped over each other and fell. Admitting defeat, the two alligators left. [Alligators remaining: 9]


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ODESSA: That’s twice now that Quillon has helped me out today. I know I shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but he might be the perfect guy for a deaf girl like me!

QUILLON: Alligators... gang members... they’re all alike, ese. They’re slithery, and they sneak up on you when you’re not lookin’. This is why I watch my back at all times.


Blaine and York were carrying their baskets full of apples with them, each of them being pursued by a hungry alligator. Just then, the two bumped into each other, causing them to fall and drop their baskets, causing their contents to spill everywhere. The alligators then ate some of the apples that were being dropped.


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BLAINE: Oh great... after all this hard work finding the apples I need, I lose them and these gators eat some of them. Well, this is what I get for keeping my secret from everyone. Of course, I’m still going to do it.

YORK: Those gators are going to pay! Oh well, I guess I could just steal some apples from someone else... but who? [An evil grin forms on her face.]


Just then, Luna came in riding - that’s right, riding on the alligator that had chased her before. The charging alligator, which had enormous lips, ran into both of the alligators that had chased Blaine and York before and sent the two reptiles flying out of there! [Alligators remaining: 6]

Blaine and York were both stunned at what they just saw.


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YORK: Who is this girl?

LUNA: I guess you can call this a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment! Get it?

BLAINE: If there was something that my sister would want to talk about on her show, this would be it.


It seemed like it was getting tougher for the alligators to take a bite out of any of the contestants’ apples (or out of any of the contestants themselves) as their numbers kept dwindling.

Justus and Ross had double-teamed a duo of alligators, and Ross used some slick Jamaican wrestling moves on both of them.

“Jah guide!” Ross said to both of the alligators as they slithered away. [Alligators remaining: 4]

“Hey, guys, what’s goin’ on?” Francesca said as she walked up to both of the boys.

“Oh, there was some mean old gators chasin’ us,” said Justus.

“You mean like this one?” Francesca pulled up the unconscious body of the alligator she just clobbered offscreen. [Alligators remaining: 3]


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FRANCESCA: Oh, did I mention that I am the only female alligator wrestler in my school? Yeah, I kinda left that information out earlier.

JUSTUS: Francesca really kicked that gator’s booty! And I don’t care if she ain’t black, I want her on my team!

ROSS: We nuh have alligators in Jamaica. Only crocodiles. Me can tell de difference. Crocodile more aggressive dan alligator, so me glad Chris use alligator. Mebbe him t’ink alligator be more aggressive? Chris nuh do de research! [He spins his volleyball on his finger.]


“And if you think that was impressive, check this out!” Francesca said. She picked up two giant rocks and a large stick she found lying on the ground. She used the stick like a baseball bat, and sent the rocks flying, where they both beaned the two alligators that were chasing after Nevaeh and Connor in the distance. The two alligators finally admitted defeat and left. [Alligators remaining: 1]

“To whoever did that, thank you!” Connor shouted.


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NEVAEH: Those alligators... they were scaly... they had sharp teeth... I still want to know if this is the kind of show I signed up for!


Chris’ voice was heard across the P.A. system. “It’s been one hour so far and no one has brought anything back? Come on, peeps! You guys really need to hustle!”

The contestants, upon hearing Chris’ message (and Quillon relaying his message to Odessa via sign language) quickly began to focus their efforts on finding the apples they didn’t have yet. The contestants were lucky that they didn’t have any alligators chasing after them anymore... well, except for Gareth.

Desirae, Velandra and Xev were looking for some apples to complete their collections. York walked up to them. “Hey, ladies,” she said. “Mind if I help?”

“Sure, go ahead,” said Xev. York pretended to search the trees, and when the other three girls weren’t looking, York stole some apples from the three girls’ baskets.

Wait a minute, did I say “when the other three girls weren’t looking”? In reality, just Desirae and Xev weren’t looking, but Velandra had her eye on York when her back was turned, and took some apples from York’s basket.


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YORK: What can I say? It’s a competitive game, and I’m a competitor. Chris did not say anything in the rules about stealing from someone else. If anything, this is the kind of behavior he encourages! This I like.

VELANDRA: I know that girl is up to somethin’, and I figured she was going to steal from me, so I stole from her. She’s gonna get a big surprise when she brings those apples back!


While some contestants were still searching for the rest of their apples, others thought they had all their apples already. Zakeri, Ashlynn, and Morganne brought back baskets filled with twenty-six apples.

“Here,” Zakeri said to Alyssa as he handed his basket over to her. Alyssa checked the basket and found that it did contain an apple with every letter of the alphabet on it.

“Nice job!” Alyssa said to Zakeri as she gave him a thumbs up.

“Way to go, Zakeri, my man!” said Chris. “Take your spot on the bench and wait for the others to finish.” Chris motioned toward a bench and Zakeri sat down on it.


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ZAKERI: I cannot believe that even though my name begins with the last letter of the alphabet, I come in first in the first-ever challenge on Total Drama Alpharama. I guess this is what they call “irony”!


Alyssa then checked Ashlynn’s basket, and found that she too had found an apple with every letter of the alphabet on it.

“Congratulations!” Alyssa said to Ashlynn as she gave her a thumbs up.

“Awesome, Ashlynn!” said Chris. “You’re the second person to complete this challenge!”

“Yeah!” Ashlynn beamed with excitement. “I guess I’m not as dumb as you think, huh?”

“Um... yeah,” Chris said. “Anyway, join Zakeri over there on the bench.” Ashlynn went over to the bench where Zakeri was and joined him.

Meanwhile, Alyssa was checking Morganne’s basket, and found her collection was complete as well. “You’ve made it, too,” said Alyssa, who gave a thumbs up to Morganne.

“Morganne, impressive!” said Chris. “You’re the third one to complete the challenge! Go join Ashlynn and Zakeri on the bench!”

“YES!” Morganne shouted raising her fists in the air as she joined Ashlynn and Zakeri.

- A -

Gareth was still trying to get at least one apple to put in his basket, and the alligator chasing him was making things really difficult for him. Not to mention that one of his arms was in the alligator’s mouth, which kinda made things harder for him.

“Will anything ever go my way?” Gareth cried. The alligator just smiled evilly.

- A -

Francesca brought her basket over to Alyssa. Alyssa checked the apples, and when she found that Francesca had found one of each of the required ones, she gave Francesca a thumbs up.

“Francesca, you’re the fourth person to do this!” Chris said.

“Woo!” Francesca whooped. “I knew I could do it!” Francesca joined the others.

“You’ve made it, too,” Alyssa said to Justus as she rewarded his successful completion of all the required apples with a thumbs up.

“Justus, you’re the fifth one to complete the challenge, good job, bro!” said Chris.

“Sweet, man!” Justus beamed before joining the others before him.

“And so did you, Ross,” Alyssa said to Ross when she found his collection was complete.

“Ross, you’re number six,” said Chris. “Nice job, brudda!”

“Ku pon dis!” Ross shouted, pumping his fist in the air for emphasis.

- A -

Kieran was still off by himself looking for the last few apples to add to his collection. Suddenly, he was shocked when he saw Luna’s head, upside down, in the tree leaves.

“Need some help?” Luna said. She then jumped onto Kieran’s back and climbed onto his head. Her basket was obscuring his face so he had trouble looking where he was going.


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KIERAN: I would just like to complete this challenge by myself. Is that too much to ask?

LUNA: I don’t care what anyone says, it’s more fun this way. Woo!


York, smiling evilly to herself, brought her basket over to Alyssa. “I think I got everything,” York said. Alyssa checked the contents of the basket.

“Nope, you don’t have everything. Sorry.” Alyssa said. York was shocked. Even after all that work she did, stealing from her competitors, something went wrong!

“Okay, I’ll keep looking,” York said in embarrassment, as she went off toward the apple orchard.


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YORK: I guess I was so busy stealing from other people’s baskets that I forgot to check my own! Stupid, York, stupid!


As York left, Quillon and Odessa arrived with their baskets. Alyssa checked Quillon’s basket, and when she found it was okay, she gave him a thumbs up.

Orale!” Quillon whooped in triumph.

“Congrats, Quillon, you’re the seventh person to do this! Join the others over there!” Quillon did so.

Alyssa also rewarded Odessa with a thumbs up after seeing her collection was complete as well.

“Nice, Odessa!” Chris said. “I don’t know how you did it, but you’re the eighth person to complete the challenge!” Odessa joined the others, who were still stunned that a deaf person was able to make it this far.


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ODESSA: While I am deficient in the hearing department, I make up for it with my other four senses, like my sense of sight! I could spot an apple with a letter sticker on it like a hundred feet away!

QUILLON: I don’t know how she do it, ese, but I’m glad she do it!


The five members of Skyler’s alliance were the next people to go over to Alyssa. Alyssa checked Skyler’s basket first and saw everything was okay. She gave him a thumbs up.

“Skyler, sweet!” said Chris. “You’re the ninth one to do this!”

“I probably might have done better, but I’m okay with that.” Skyler said.


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SKYLER: I do not know whether this challenge divides the contestants into two teams or three teams. I saw it was getting close to the end, and wanted to ensure all five of us stuck together. I am keeping my fingers crossed, though, just in case.


Alyssa gave a thumbs up to Ward when she saw his collection was complete too.

“Ward, you’re number ten!” said Chris.

“Awesome!” Ward shouted. He joined the other nine people on the bench.

Alyssa also approved Payson’s complete collection with a thumbs up.

“Payson, you’re the eleventh one to do this! Nice job!” Chris said.

“Number eleven, and I feel like I’m in heaven!” whooped Payson, who joined the others.

Alyssa also found that Hektor’s set of apples met the requirements, and gave him a thumbs up.

“Hektor, you’re the twelfth person to finish!” said Chris. “Nice!”

“I’m in the first half... aiyaah, this is a dream come true!” Hektor said before joining the others on the bench.

“And you’re in this too!” said Alyssa to Elvio, after she had just found his collection was successfully complete.

“Elvio, you’re number thirteen!” said Chris.

“Yeah, baby!” Elvio flexed his muscles. “This is MY kind of challenge!”

- A -

Kieran was still struggling with the challenge, because of the fact that he now had Luna perched on his shoulders, being as hyperactive as she possibly could. And not only that, her basket was still obscuring his face...

He tried shooing her away and shouting at her to get off, but she would not listen, since she was obviously in her own little world...

- A -

Desirae, Velandra, and Xev arrived with their baskets. Alyssa checked Desirae’s basket, and then...

“Nope, sorry, you’ve gotta go back,” Alyssa said to Desirae.

“Dang!” Desirae shouted.


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DESIRAE: I coulda sworn I got all the apples... now this girl tell me that some of them are missin’. This sista got ripped off, y’all! Ripped off!


As Desirae went back to search for the apples she missed, Alyssa checked Xev’s basket next.

“Sorry, Xev, you’re missing some too,” Alyssa said to Xev.


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XEV: That’s impossible! I thought I had all of them... I’m pretty sure there’s a thief in the vicinity!


Xev left, and just before she left, she said to Velandra, “I think someone has stolen from us, so you might want to check your basket... you may be missing some too.”

“Got it,” said Velandra. And after Xev left, Velandra did check her basket - to ensure that the apples she took back from York were back in there. Then Velandra showed Alyssa the basket, and after Alyssa checked the contents, she gave Velandra a thumbs up.

“Nice, Velandra,” said Chris. “You’re number fourteen! Go over there with the others!”

Velandra sat on the bench. Elvio scowled at Velandra, and Velandra scowled at him right back.

“Yeah, well... I got here first!” Elvio said to her.


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VELANDRA: I am a firm believer in karma, York! What goes around comes around! I hope your butt is the first one booted from your team after that stunt, chica!


The twelve remaining contestants in the apple orchard were nervous. Over half of the cast had completed the challenge, so why hadn’t they? There were still apples to find and put in their baskets. Chris said that the challenge would only end after a certain number of people had completed it. But maybe fourteen was not enough, so they could still have a chance...

After much scrambling, a few people had completed their collections and have made it to Chris and Alyssa...

- A -

Alyssa inspected Talwen’s basket, and gave her a thumbs up when she found that it satisfied the requirements.

“Talwen, you’re number fifteen!” said Chris.

“I knew I could make it,” Talwen said, as she joined the others.

The next basket Alyssa was examining was Ireland’s, and Ireland was given a thumbs up by Alyssa as well.

“Ireland, your number is sweet sixteen!” said Chris.

“It feels so good to succeed in a challenge that allows me to get in touch with nature!” cheered Ireland as she joined with the other fifteen.

Then Unique appeared with her basket. “I hope I’m not too late,” she said.

“No, you’re still on time. The challenge isn’t over yet!” said Chris.

Alyssa took a look at the contents of Unique’s basket. Alyssa said to Unique... “Unique... I’m sorry to tell you...”

Unique was nervous.

Alyssa gave Unique a thumbs up. “...that you made it too! Congratulations!”

“Wow, seriously?” Unique was suddenly excited.

“Way to go, Unique, you’re number seventeen!” said Chris.

“Oh thank you!” said Unique as she joined the sixteen before her on the bench.

It was at this point that Chris chose to address the nine contestants who had not yet completed the challenge on his P.A. system. “The challenge is officially over! We have our winners! I know all of you left are pretty bummed that you didn’t make it, but hey... there’s always next time, right?” And then he laughed.

Connor, Nevaeh, Blaine, Kieran, Luna, Desirae, Xev, York, and Gareth were obviously disappointed that they didn’t get to finish.

“This is all your fault!” Gareth said to the alligator who was biting his arm. Gareth then kicked the alligator right in the crotch, and then the alligator let go of Gareth’s arm and ran away embarrased. [Alligators remaining: 0]


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YORK: Okay, my plan totally did not work out. But you people watching have not seen the last of me... particularly since this is an episode where no one gets voted off and you’re going to see me again anyway!

BLAINE: So I guess I’m apparently a loser again... and Mildred, if you’re watching, please stop laughing at me.


After the challenge, all twenty-six campers have assembled in front of Chris.

“That was an interesting first challenge!” Chris exclaimed. “There were winners, obviously... and there were losers. First, I would like to ask the first eight people to complete the challenge to stand on the green mat. That would be Zakeri, Ashlynn, Morganne, Francesca, Justus, Ross, Quillon, and Odessa!”

Zakeri, Ashlynn, Morganne, Francesca, Justus, Ross, Quillon and Odessa stood on the green mat.

“Congratulations, you eight! You are officially known as Team Alpha!”

The eight members of Team Alpha cheered.


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MORGANNE: I cannot believe it... the first eight winners of the challenge get to be on the same team! Eeeeee! ...But I hope this does not end up like Team Victory where we lose every single challenge after that. But our team has a volleyball player and a freakin’ martial arts expert on it, so... I think we’ll be okay!


“Now, for the other nine of you who completed the challenge,” said Chris. “That would be Skyler, Ward, Payson, Hektor, Elvio, Velandra, Talwen, Ireland and Unique! Please stand on the red mat!”

Skyler, Ward, Payson, Hektor, Elvio, Velandra, Talwen, Ireland and Unique took their places on the red mat.

“You nine are now known as Team Beta! Congrats!”

The nine members of Team Beta... kinda cheered.


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SKYLER: I guess I ended up taking all four members of my alliance with me after all. Team Alpha may have lucked out, but I am positive that this team will emerge victorious the next time around. And even if we do lose the challenge, we have four free boots, so it’s not a total loss.

VELANDRA: Sorry, Desirae and Xev, that you couldn’t make it on the same team with me. Miss you girls! If you’re watching this, get rid of that pink-haired bruja for me!


“And as for the other nine, who are... nine people whose names I don’t remember at the moment... anyway, the nine of you who did not complete the challenge, on the purple mat, go.” said Chris.

Connor, Nevaeh, Blaine, Kieran, Luna, Desirae, Xev, York, and Gareth went onto the purple mat.


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NEVAEH: Hey, Chris, if you have trouble pronouncing my name, why don’t you just admit it?


“Um, the rest of you,” said Chris. “You are all on Team Omega! So... yeah?”

The nine members of Team Omega... cheered somewhat, though not as much as Teams Alpha and Beta.


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XEV: Okay, it may not be the same level of strength as either Team Alpha or Team Beta, but then again... “Team Omega” is still a pretty cool-sounding name. I feel confident that we are going to emerge the underdogs!

YORK: Why is my team the one with all the sucky people on it? I get stuck on a team with a few people who are pretty useless in life... like loser boy and freaky girl... why me? Aaaaauuuuugh! [She makes an I-want-to-pull-out-my-hair motion.]


“And now for the twist!” said Chris to the eight members of Team Alpha. “Team Alpha... A is for Advantage, and since you eight came first in the challenge, you will receive an advantage!”

“Yeah!” the eight members of Team Alpha cheered.

“Your advantage is... you will not be able to participate in tomorrow’s challenge!”

The members of Team Alpha were confused.

“Say what?” asked Justus.

“How is that an advantage?” asked Ashlynn.

“And the only reason you’re not participating in tomorrow’s challenge is...” Chris continued. “None of you eight are going to be the first voted off this season!”

The eight members of Team Alpha went back to cheering.


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ODESSA: Maybe I read Chris’ lips wrong. I could’ve sworn that he said none of the members of my team are going to be the first voted off. Well, my teammates were happy about it, so it must be a good thing, right? Yay for me!


“That’s right. It’s between Team Beta and Team Omega, and they are the only people who will compete in tomorrow’s challenge, and one of those eighteen is going to be the first one voted off!”

The eighteen members of Teams Beta and Omega were nervous.

“I think it’s getting late,” Chris said. “Time to introduce you to your new digs!”

- A -

Chris brought the twenty-six members of Team Alpha to a really luxurious house, with the green Team Alpha insignia in front. It had a hot tub, some really fancy bedrooms, as well as a few vending machines and some computers, video game systems... basically this is a lot better than where most campers would spend the night.

“This is the Luxury Cabin,” Chris announced. “If you score first place in a challenge this season, your team gets to stay here. And I know all of you want to live in a place like this, right? So... win challenges and maybe you’ll do that!”

Chris motioned toward three identical-looking cabins across from the Luxury Cabin. They are basically similar to where the contestants from seasons 1 and 4 have slept. Two of them were next to each other, and had the red Team Beta insignia on them, and the other one, bearing the purple Team Omega insignia, was farther away.

“As for the other cabins... the two cabins with your logo on it, Team Beta, are where the second-place team, i.e. you nine, will sleep. Boys take one cabin, girls get the other.”

Elvio smiled an evil grin at Velandra.

“This is good, because then I don’t have to get your ugly girl cooties!” Elvio said to her. Velandra crossed her arms in response.

“And the other cabin, the one where the last-place team, a.k.a. Team Omega is sleeping? Well... all nine of you will be sharing it, and it’s co-ed!” Chris laughed, and many of the nine Team Omega members were shocked by this development.

“Okay, who wants to share a bunk with me?” asked Gareth, and then he puckered his lips.

“Ew, gross,” said York. She turned to the rest of her teammates. “All in favor of kicking Gareth out of our cabin, raise your hand!”

“Aw, no fair!” Gareth moaned.

After the twenty-six contestants began to move their stuff into their new cabins, Chris addressed the camera. “How will our new campers adjust to their new sleeping conditions? And who will be this season’s first bootee, from the episode brought to you by the letter B? Find out next time, on Total...”

The camera zoomed out.

“...Drama...”

The camera zoomed out again.

“...Alpharama!”

Episode 2: Plan "B"

The second episode of this season begins the same way the first one did, with Chris McClean standing on the Dock of Shame to address the viewers. "Last time on Total Drama Alpharama..."

We are then shown a montage of all the stuff that happened in Episode 1.

"Twenty-six teens, each one whose name begins with a different letter of the alphabet so that I can tell each of them apart... you can edit this out, right?... have volunteered to take part in what is slated to be the biggest season of Total Drama evah! Their first challenge required them to find the apples that had stickers with every single letter of the alphabet on them... seems easy, right? However, I sent some of my alligator friends to, shall we say, upset the applecart? All of our contestants managed to survive, though some of them almost became gator chow. In the end, the twenty-six contestants formed three teams. Since Team Alpha received automatic invincibility for this episode due to the advantage they received in the last challenge, it'll be a fight between Team Beta and Team Omega to see who will be the next one to avoid the Bonfire Ceremony!"

We cut back to Chris on the Dock of Shame, holding a letter B in his hand.

"I hope all you people out there will 'B' ready for what we've got planned! Twenty-six contestants will soon become twenty-five! Who will be the first one to bite the big one, on Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"

- A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

[TEAM ALPHA - LUXURY CABIN]

The Luxury Cabin used to be empty on the beginning of Day 1. Now it was introduced to its first inhabitants, in other words, the eight members of Team Alpha.

The plush sofa in the center of the living room was currently occupied by Justus and Quillon, who were playing a fighting game.

"Ha! Take that, ese!" Quillon shouted, as his character dealt the finishing blow to Justus' character onscreen.

"Man, you good," Justus said, admitting defeat. "I know that Sam kid is white, but I have to know how the heck he manages to win at this thing..."

- B -

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JUSTUS: First place, baby! Woo! This cabin is just what a brother needs! A nice sofa, some sweet video games... they don't have this in the old Wawanakwa! Well, that white boy Chris probably did... but then again so did my man Chef, so there!

QUILLON: Back where I come from, they didn't have no place such as this. This was a place that you could only dream about... mi familia couldn't even afford one of the tiles on the ground! I gotta win that million, man... a new casa could really change our life!

- B -

Meanwhile, at a nearby table, Ashlynn and Morganne were sitting down and talking to each other. They were drinking some soda which they bought from the vending machine.

"This is the life," Ashlynn said with a smile on her face. "And believe me, after all that work we did, we earned this cabin!"

"Yeah, and an advantage to go with it!" Morganne said to her. "I only wish it would last forever, because I like this place!"

"Me too!" Ashlynn said back. They raised their soda cans to each other. "Cheers!"

- B -

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ASHLYNN: We not only win the first challenge, but we also got automatic invincibility, which means we don't have to vote off any of our own just yet! This also means that we don't have to attend the next challenge... but then again, I like this idea!

MORGANNE: The advantage is probably going to be a one-time-only thing, which means that once someone on one of the other teams gets voted off, it'll be back to competing for me! It's almost as if I planned out the layout of the entire season myself... maybe I have and Chris doesn't even know that he's stealing my ideas from me! [giggles]

- B -

As Ashlynn and Morganne were sitting and chatting it up, they noticed Francesca and Ross battling each other in a heated game of table tennis. It was pretty clear that these two were really skilled in the game and neither one would go down quietly.

Suddenly, after a while, Ross lost his match when the ball flew right by his arm.

"Nuh fair!" Ross shouted at Francesca. "You cheated!"

"Sorry, but you'll just have to accept that you lost to a girl!" Francesca replied.

"Um... two out of t'ree?"

"ADMIT IT!"

"Okay, ooman, me lost. Happy?" Ross said, as he put down his paddle.

- B -

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ROSS: Franny-girl be a fierce ooman. Me nuh know if someone cast an obeah pon she to make she so good at sports... her remind me of de day when me first lost to me bruddas! But me accept me loss with grace and I and I remind meself dere always be a next time, mon.

FRANCESCA: Ross, or "Rasta", as we tend to call him, can be competitive. He is no different from my bros back home, and to this day, they still can't get over the fact that someone like me can defeat them in competitions! But then again, I don't see my bros wearing dreadlocks or speaking with a Jamaican accent!

- B -

While Zakeri has found a place on the floor to perform his meditation exercises, Odessa walked by him after she picked up some snacks she bought from the vending machine.

"Hi, Odessa," said Zakeri. "How is it going?"

"It is going great so far!" Odessa beamed.

"I guess it must be from the positive energy that emanates from this place..." Zakeri stated. "I sense that we may be back here again if this keeps up!"

"Um... okay, whatever you just said," Odessa giggled, as Zakeri went back to meditating.

- B -

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ODESSA: This has been an awesome first day! Not once, not even once, have my teammates or any of the other campers picked on me because of my disability! This is how I feel about this game right now! [She makes an O sign with one hand, and a thumbs up with the other hand.] Eeeeee!

ZAKERI: It feels like my coming here was destiny... I have trained well, I earned this reward, and I have no problems with my seven teammates. But I should not let the fact that I do not have to participate in the next challenge cause me to become arrogant. I must maintain focus... after all, I do want that prize money, and so does everyone else here.

- B -

[TEAM BETA - DUO CABINS - BOYS' CABIN]

The Duo Cabins got their first visitors too. The Boys' Cabin was visited by the Skyler, Elvio, Payson, Ward and Hektor, the five members of the Beta Boys alliance. They moved their things into the cabin and began to check out the bunk beds.

"Well, this is where we have to spend the next night," Skyler said to the other four boys.

"This shack be wack!" said Payson.

"Man, why can't we live in that cool hotel-like place like that green team?" said Elvio as he unpacked his things. "This place is all naturey and stuff."

"But hey, at least we aren't in last place right now," Skyler said, patting Elvio on the back. "But don't worry. We'll beat Team Omega tomorrow, because I can tell that team is imbalanced."

- B -

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SKYLER: Maybe it's just the way the teams ended up when they did... our team has five strong people on it... Team Omega has only four. Team Alpha has four as well, and how they managed to beat our team was a fluke. It will not happen again. Team Beta will reach the top... mark my words!

PAYSON: Yo, Payson's made it, and he's on Team Beta! If you don't like that, then you a hater! And though this shack may not be the coolest crib to live in, I'm just glad to be hangin' with my homies! Word!

ELVIO: Yeah, the cabin sucks. But I'm glad that we boys get our own, and we don't have to share with those icky girls! Watch, I'll try to get my team out of last place again so that I can stay away from them, particularly that meanie Velandra!

- B -

After the boys unpacked, it was time for them to try out their bunk beds. Ward immediately started to climb to the top bunk in one set, and Hektor, who was planning on sleeping in the bottom bunk in that set, tried to stop him.

"Aiyaah!" shouted Hektor to Ward. "What are you doing?"

"What?" asked Ward. "What's wrong with a guy like me taking the top bunk?"

- B -

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HEKTOR: I can calculate at least fifty reasons! But then again, I don't think Ward is as heavy as Owen... even mathletes like me can't figure out how much that guy weighs! Believe me, I've tried.

WARD: I've seen Owen from the first season... yeah, I know I'm a pretty bulky guy, and Owen's one of my favorites... but this body right here is pure muscle from training! [He pounds his chest.] I think the beds are okay, and I don't think I've put anyone in the hospital yet... but then again, I guess I could sleep on the bottom if that's what Hektor wants.

- B -

[TEAM BETA - DUO CABINS - GIRLS' CABIN]

The cheering and shouting coming from some of the guys in the boys' cabin later that night was making it difficult for some of the girls to get some sleep in their own. Velandra in particular was having trouble.

"Ugh... would you please keep it down, you annoying idiotas..." Velandra muttered.

"I think the boys are just excited that our team isn't in last place right now," said Ireland, who had just finished unpacking.

"I think they're excited for a different reason, and I think I know what it is!" Unique said, giving a wink.

"Oh well, boys will be boys!" said Talwen.

- B -

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IRELAND: Can you imagine how horrible it would have been if we ended up in last place? We'd have to share our cabin with the guys! I mean, I'm all for sharing, but have you been to their cabin? Some of those guys litter! That's bad for Mother Nature!

UNIQUE: I wonder if Chris will let me sneak into the boys' cabin... I'm used to manipulating men, and besides, those boys would probably want me to be in their cabin with them! Hey, at least it beats being in last place...

VELANDRA: I know those boys have an alliance. They want to take advantage of the fact that there are four of us girls, while there are five of them, so they are going to pick us off one by one the minute we lose a challenge. You'd have to be stupid to not know that. And I promise you I'ma do something about this!

TALWEN: Somehow I have this feeling that the autobiography I plan to write is going to instantly fly off the shelves the moment they read the chapter about my first night here. After all, Chris loves his drama, and so far, he's gotten what he wanted! And this is probably going to continue, so... just wait until tomorrow morning! You'll definitely see more!

- B -

[TEAM OMEGA - LOSER CABIN]

The Loser Cabin was very crowded. Unlike the other cabins, this one was forced to bear the weight of nine people...

"WAAAAAAAA...!"

Correction, make that eight people, as York just threw Gareth out.

"Finally!" York said to herself as she went back to her bed. However, the instant York got into bed, Gareth climbed into the cabin through one of the windows.

"Oh no," said York. "Now he's climbing in through the window!"

"He's climbin' in yo' windows, he's snatchin' yo' people up..." Luna sang.

"Just go to sleep, okay, Luna?" said Blaine.

"Sorry!" said Luna. "I just love that song!"

- B -

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LUNA: You can run and tell that... homeboy!

- B -

Gareth, after climbing in through the window, made his way into an empty bunk.

"Um, what part of 'no' didn't you understand?" York said to Gareth.

"Why can't I sleep in this bed?" said Gareth. "I mean, it's not like Kieran ever uses it!"

York's mouth formed the shape of an O - which, surprisingly, was not one of the letters the teammates' names begin with - when she saw that the empty bunk was only empty because Kieran, who previously inhabited it, just left.

- B -

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YORK: Great... I've got a guy who doesn't deserve to be within three feet of me wanting to breathe on me when I try to go to sleep, and another guy who actually should be allowed to sleep in our cabin, but chooses to sleep somewhere else by himself! Are there any sane people on my team at all?

- B -

"I think we should just let him spend the night here," said Connor.

"Yeah!" said Nevaeh. "It would be a shame to let a perfectly good bed go to waste!"

"Okay, fine..." York said under her breath. "You win."

- B -

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GARETH: I can't believe I was actually allowed to sleep in one of the beds that night! After such a bad first day, this was such a relief! Thank you, team! Thank you!

YORK: He may have gotten his way now, but that doesn't mean he should get too comfortable. The creepazoid is only going to get kicked out again next time... that is, unless loner boy decides to socialize with us for a change! Kieran, where are you?

- B -

Kieran, as usual, was looking for a secluded place where he would sleep by himself. He picked up his sleeping bag and tried to find a nice, peaceful place under the stars. He looked around and saw what he thought was the right sleeping spot. This is perfect!, he thought to himself. He unrolled his sleeping bag, unzipped it, entered it, and looked up at the night sky. He would be at peace...

- B -

- DAY 2 -

The next morning, the eight remaining members of Team Omega woke up after a night in their new cabin. Since Kieran was still nowhere to be found (as, of course, he had distanced himself from the others), Connor, Nevaeh, and Blaine went out to look for him.

- B -

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BLAINE: Kieran had not returned to our cabin this morning, so guess who had to search for him? I mean, I know I've been hiding my secret from everyone, but this guy could be hiding much more than that!

NEVAEH: I didn't know what I was going to do if Kieran was never found. I signed up because I want to socialize with other people my age. Kieran... I don't know, he's probably had it luckier than I did, I think he went to public school, where he could have had like hundreds of friends to talk with. I don't know whether or not he actually did, though... I mean, I would've talked to them!

- B -

Connor, Nevaeh and Blaine finally found the spot where Kieran spent the night. It was a far-off spot with a lot of trees where you could take a look at a beautiful waterfall and the nearby rock formations. It was at the top of a tall cliff (but with railings so no one can accidentally slip and fall to the ground below).

"So that's where he was..." Connor whispered to the others.

"Should we tell him it's time for breakfast?" Nevaeh whispered back.

Just then, a squirrel ran over to where Kieran was still sleeping, and started tickling Kieran's neck with its tail. That was what got Kieran out of his sleeping bag.

"Hi," Kieran said upon seeing the three other campers. "And bye." He then picked up the sleeping bag and then headed off by himself.

- B -

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CONNOR: My guess is he went to the mess hall ahead of us, then took his food with him, and either went back up there or somewhere else that we don't know about. He's a weird one...

KIERAN: Yeah, I slept the whole night there. Having to share a cabin with eight other people be really hectic, and I can't sleep in the other cabins, so it's not like I had a choice. If you were in my shoes, you'd probably have done the same thing. [He adjusts his shades.] And by the way, don't you even think of getting in my shoes.

- B -

Meanwhile, in the communal bathrooms, Desirae and Xev were in front of the mirrors in the girls' bathroom. The two of them were adjusting their hair and prepping it up in anticipation of the upcoming challenge.

Suddenly, Desirae noticed that Xev picked up a can of purple hair dye, and used it to paint a few streaks of her own hair purple.

"Whoa!" Desirae said. "Girl, you lookin' freaky!"

"How do you like it?" asked Xev. "We are on the purple team, so I just thought I'd wear some purple in my hair to show some team spirit! Oh, that reminds me..."

Xev picked up the can of purple hair dye, and used it to paint another part of her hair purple. Just then, Luna walked up to the two girls.

"Ooh! That looks like fun!" said Luna. "Let me try!" Luna picked up the hair dye that Xev had just put down, and before either Xev or Desirae could say anything, Luna dyed some of her own hair purple as well! All Xev and Desirae could do was giggle a little bit.

- B -

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XEV: This happened a lot during my junior high school and high school days. Whenever I would try on a certain combination of clothes or try a new hairstyle, people would see it and they would want to wear the exact same thing I'm wearing! Here, it's no different! It's nice to know that I've inspired Luna!

LUNA: I love having purple hair! It looked so cute on Xev, so I just decided, what the heck, I'm gonna have it too! So from now on, the next time I see a bear in the woods, the first thing I'm gonna do is walk up to him and say, "Hey there, Mr. Bear, look at me, I have purple hair!" ...You know, because it rhymes and everything. I like when things rhyme!

DESIRAE: So? I ain't see nothin' wrong with purple in yo' hair! I was down with that, so I painted my fro with some of that purple spray! [She turns around, and we see a giant purple stripe in her afro.] Funkadelic! I'm hip to the groove, y'all!

- B -

As Desirae used Xev's hair dye to spray a purple stripe in her afro, York walked by and looked at Xev's and Desirae's hairstyles. She was stunned beyond words.

- B -

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YORK: I repeat, are there any sane people on my team?

- B -

[MESS HALL]

Breakfast at the mess hall was different from the meal that was being served on Day 1. Since the first day's theme was the letter A, the theme for Day 2 would be the letter B. The twenty-six contestants woke up to a bountiful meal of baked banana bread (with butter on it), bagels, and some blackberry juice, brought to you by Chef Hatchet on a tray. Bon appetit!

The tables in the mess hall were painted three different colors for each of the teams. Team Alpha got the green tables, Team Beta got the red tables, and Team Omega's tables were purple. You can easily tell what's going on with some of the teams, as all the five guys on Team Beta shared one of the red tables (big surprise), while the four girls got the other. And Gareth was only allowed to sit at an empty spot at one of the purple tables because Kieran had chosen to sit in a corner by himself rather than at a table.

Just then, Chris' voice echoed over the loudspeakers. "Campers, your second challenge is coming up, and for now, all I have to say about it is... it'll B a blast!" He then laughed at his joke, and of course, none of the twenty-six contestants laughed. "That is all."

The contestants resumed eating as if nothing had happened.

- B -

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GARETH: My team needs to win this challenge... in other words... I NEED TO WIN THIS CHALLENGE! I know that I'll probably be the first one gone if we lose, so I'm hoping and praying for a miracle! ...Please?

SKYLER: The moment has come. I think my alliance is more than prepared to handle the challenge Chris has set up for us. There is no challenge that cannot be tackled... when it comes to anything involving strength, puzzles, agility, endurance, trivia, you name it... we shall come out on top!

ASHLYNN: Our advantage means the eight of us get to sit out today's challenge... but then you probably knew that from the seven or eight times I told you that after you kept asking what our advantage does! Seriously, ask us different questions next time, okay?

- B -

The twenty-six contestants entered a vast field where the second challenge had been set up. It was a wooden obstacle course where multiple bags filled with something were scattered around, as well as two giant buckets. Chris and Alyssa were there.

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking, 'Oh, Chris, I like my new teammates, and I wish I could stay with all of them forever!'"

"Not what I was thinkin', bro," said Elvio, while Velandra cast a glare at him.

"Sadly, you can't, 'cuz one of you has to go home tonight. Since Team Alpha got the advantage last time, they don't have to do this, but they will get a front row seat and watch the action up close!" Chris motioned toward eight comfy green chairs, and the Team Alpha members sat in those chairs.

"Ooh, nice!" said Morganne.

"Me be feelin' irie right now!" Ross said.

"Yep, it's just between Team Beta and Team Omega to see who will avoid having to be the first team to have to go down in history as the first team to have to suffer the embarrassment of having to cut one of their own this season! And since the last challenge was about the letter A, this challenge..." Chris holds up a letter B. "...is all about B!"

Just then, Silent B, from last season, appeared. He smiled and gave a thumbs up.

"Not you!" Chris said to B, who then left the field sad and dejected.

"In any case," Chris continued. "B is for Banana Bonanza! In front of you is an obstacle course, and there are lots of bags, each one containing a certain amount of bananas. But you don't know how many are in there or how much they weigh! For each of the teams, one of you will be a caller, who will guide the other eight through the course, where they will be divided into four groups of two who will be chained together. They must then pick up a bag of bananas and bring it outside the course, then open the bag and put the bananas into their team's bucket. They could also take some bananas out of the bag, and possibly eat them leaving some banana peels, which they can take onto the course with them, where hopefully their opponents will slip on the banana peels and fall, because let's face it, falling on a banana peel never gets old!" Chris then laughs, and the others all stare at him.

"What?" Chris said. "It's funny. Besides, there's probably going to be a Wiki of this season with a List of Injuries section, and I'd like to see it get filled!"

"Yeah, you probably would," Alyssa said, as she wrote something down on her notepad.

"The teams will have one hour to do this, and after an hour, we will be measuring the two buckets. The team whose bucket is heavier wins invincibility!"

The eighteen contestants on the field cheer.

"Oh, and another thing..." Chris continued. "B is also for Blindfolded!"

The eighteen contestants are shocked.

"Chef... the blindfolds, please?"

Chef suddenly appears holding out sixteen blindfolds, eight red, and eight purple. He was also wearing a banana hammock. A great deal of the contestants saw Chef's banana hammock and shielded their eyes after witnessing such a horrible sight.

- B -

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BLAINE: B is for banana hammock. And B is also for BRAIN BLEACH!

NEVAEH: [freaking out] MY EYES!

UNIQUE: Oh well, it's great that I was given a blindfold, so that I didn't have to look at that during the challenge.

ODESSA: It's bad enough that I'm deaf... is Chris trying to make me blind too?

TALWEN: And I thought this was supposed to be a family show...

- B -

The teams have been set up. Skyler was the caller for Team Beta, thanks to his four alliance mates agreeing with him. The girls, outnumbered, had no choice but to give in. Elvio was paired up with Payson, Ward with Hektor, Unique with Ireland, and Talwen with Velandra.

For Team Omega, the caller was Kieran, which was a perfect role for him since he wanted to be by himself anyway. Connor was paired up with Nevaeh, Desirae with Xev, York with Blaine, and by default, Luna was with Gareth.

"Oh, and to those of you with blindfolds on," said Chris, "you cannot take them off during the challenge, or your team is disqualified. And... go!"

The second challenge began, and the callers began giving their instructions to their blindfolded teammates.

"Ward! Hektor! Go five steps ahead of you!" Skyler shouted to Ward and Hektor, and the two Team Beta members listened to his instructions.

"Connor! Ne... um, the N girl!" Kieran shouted.

"It's pronounced 'nuh-VEE-uh'!" Nevaeh shouted back.

"Yeah, go... six steps ahead of you or something!" Kieran shouted to Connor and Nevaeh, who both went six steps ahead.

"Elvio! Payson! Go ten steps in front of you! There should be a bag there!" Skyler shouted to Elvio and Payson, who obeyed.

Ward felt something in front of him. It was one of the bags. "Woo, we got one!" Ward shouted, and picked it up.

"Good!" Skyler shouted. "Now, turn around, and follow my voice!" Ward was able to pick up the extremely heavy bag by himself, and brought it back to where Skyler was.

"Blaine! York! Go seven steps ahead of you... I think I see one!" Kieran shouted to Blaine and York.

"Is this it?" Nevaeh asked, as she felt a bag in front of her, and grabbed it.

"Yeah, that's it!" Kieran shouted. "Come back towards me!"

As Nevaeh and Connor made their way towards Kieran with their bag, Ward and Hektor were trying to make their way toward their team's bucket (which isn't easy to do while blindfolded). Skyler guided them toward the steps that led toward the top of the bucket.

"Yeah, that's the right way!" Skyler shouted. "But don't open the bag yet, it's not in the right position... move it toward your right a bit!" Ward repositioned the bag accordingly. "Okay, now do it!" And Ward opened the bag and the giant red Team Beta bucket now had a few bananas in it.

"We did it!" Ward and Hektor cheered.

- B -

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WARD: That feeling you get when you score the first touchdown of any game... that was what I felt when I was the first one to put bananas in my team's bucket before the other team got to put any in. It makes me so proud to be a star athlete!

SKYLER: I could've just volunteered to go out onto the course and do the challenge, but I like the caller position. I can keep a good watch on my boys, because they trust me, and I trust them. I don't know what the other team was thinking when they made Kieran their caller... if he was on my team, he'd be on the course right now!

KIERAN: Yeah, I chose to help my teammates out by being their caller, but don't expect this to be a common occurrence. I will only help them out during challenges, or when I have no other choice. Plus, being the caller allows me to save my strength for the more demanding challenges later on, because you know Chris is a huge fan of them! One thing I didn't like about the challenge was the way Skyler kept awkwardly staring at me... like he has a man-crush on me or something like that... sorry, dude, I don't swing that way.

- B -

Connor and Nevaeh brought back their bag, and guided by Kieran's instructions, they climbed the steps, positioned the bag over the top of the purple Team Omega bucket, and poured the contents in, hoping they didn't spill any on the ground.

Elvio and Payson, following the sound of Skyler's voice, brought back another bag. "Can I take some of the bananas out? I want to use a banana peel to make the Omega team like slip and fall down and land on their butts or something." Elvio said to Skyler.

"Not yet!" shouted Skyler. "We need as many bananas as we can for the end, because the other team will probably waste theirs!" And just as Elvio and Payson poured the contents of their bag into the bucket, a small smirk formed on York's face, because she and Blaine happened to be within earshot of the conversation.

- B -

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ELVIO: I just want to maintain our team's lead over Team Omega, that's all. But then again, Skyler's our leader, plus we do want to keep all the bananas we have. And I have these babies! [He flexes his muscles.] Does anyone on Team Omega have them? No, they do not. Me 1, Team Omega zero!

- B -

"Ten steps to your right, Desirae!" Kieran shouted to Desirae and Xev as they were on the course trying to find another bag. Desirae felt around and found a bag. "Shazam!" she shouted. "We got this one in the bag, y'all!" Meanwhile, Gareth and Luna were still feeling around for one. "It's right in front of you, Luna!" shouted Kieran. Luna felt around, and found that there was one indeed in front of her. "Yaysies!" she yelled as she grabbed it.

Meanwhile, Ireland, Unique, Talwen, and Velandra were waiting for instructions from Skyler. "Okay, Skyler, what direction should we go?" asked Talwen.

"Okay, Hektor, Ward, go five steps ahead of you!" Skyler shouted to Hektor and Ward. "Elvio! Payson! Three steps to your right!" he then shouted to Elvio and Payson.

The Team Beta girls could not believe what was going on.

"He's letting only the guys on our team get the bags," muttered Unique to the other three girls.

"Does he not trust us with them or something?" Ireland wondered.

- B -

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VELANDRA: I knew it. Skyler is a sexist... with a capital S! He don't want to let no girls on his team do the challenge because he thinks we're weak or whatever, when we're perfectly capable of doin' whatever the guys are doin'. He just don't know that.

SKYLER: It's common sense. I had to keep the girls out of the challenge, because it was really dangerous for them. I wouldn't let my younger sister onto the course, and I won't let them out there either. It is not my fault that men are biologically superior to women in all aspects. This is why I liked that the last season had an all-male final two... because the challenges were so intense and hardcore that only real men could handle them.

- B -

At this point, the small smirk on York's face became a bit bigger. After she and Blaine took another bag out of the course, she asked Kieran, "Hey, Kieran! Is it okay if I take a banana out of the bag?"

"Eh, whatever," said Kieran. York felt in the bag and took a banana out and tried to eat it, but remembered that she had to eat it while she was blindfolded if she didn't want to get her team disqualified. Which was really tough, as the edible part of the banana ended up all over her face instead of actually in her mouth. Chris, of course, was watching this and laughing his head off.

- B -

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YORK: Thanks a lot, Chris, for making me eat a freaking banana blindfolded! Well, at least I have a banana peel now, so I can still do some damage to Team Fratboy.

BLAINE: York is every bit as devious as my sister was. Whether it's the good kind of devious or the bad kind, I can never tell... it's kind of scary when you think about it. But hey, whatever keeps us in the game.

- B -

While Ireland, Talwen, Unique, and Velandra were waiting around for Skyler to just let them onto the course already, Skyler had already sent Elvio, Payson, Hektor and Ward onto the course to let them retrieve some more bags. While at the same time, the eight Team Omega members who were not named Kieran were already on the course searching for some bags.

York took advantage of this by holding the banana peel in her hand and waiting until she was close enough to one of the groups of Team Beta contestants on the course.

"I hope this works..." she said to herself as she threw the banana peel on the ground.

Sure enough, the peel was in front of Payson and Elvio. "Payson, look out!" shouted Skyler. But the peel went into contact with Payson's foot, and before you know it, Payson tripped and fell, bumping into Elvio, and causing the both of them to drop the bag they were carrying! While Elvio and Payson were trying to recover, York felt around for the bag and picked it up!

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

PAYSON: Yo, man, that is wiggity-wiggity-wack! I was thrown off track, and nearly broke my back! That banana peel just can't be for real!

YORK: Finders keepers, losers weepers, suckers! Your little strategy of sending only your men out is going to backfire on you, Team Loser! You know, I may not have to sabotage Team Beta after all, because they're pretty much doing that to themselves! But I'm still gonna do it anyway!

- B -

As Elvio and Payson tried to get up and recover from the fall, Hektor and Ward have managed to find another bag for Team Beta. "Wan sui!" Hektor shouted in Chinese. But just as he did that, members of all four of the Team Omega groups have picked up bags as well!

The challenge continued for a while. Of course, Skyler just sent out the other four Team Beta boys and none of the girls, while all eight Team Omega members with blindfolds were still on there. The Team Beta girls fumed, wondering if they would ever get their chance. The eight members of Team Alpha just laughed while they were on the sidelines, joking about the lopsided nature of the challenge so far.

Eventually, a half-hour passed. Chris spoke into his microphone and addressed the people left on the course. "Campers... B is for BORING! Let's make this challenge more interesting by bringing out something else that begins with the letter B..."

Several gates opened, and behind them were some returning characters from past seasons of Total Drama... in other words... DA BEARS!

The bears began growling as soon as they arrived onto the course.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

NEVAEH: First alligators, now bears? Is Chris really that insane? I may be too scared to leave my house again after this!

XEV: Oh well, I guess it's a Total Drama tradition to include bears in at least one episode per season. I think Chris was lucky that the word "bear" began with one of the earliest letters of the alphabet!

HEKTOR: Bears? Aiyaah... bears are big, and hairy, and intimidating... just like gong-gong. Except bears use their claws and don't hit you on the back of the head with a ruler to make you finish your homework faster. Plus, they don't talk.

- B -

It was bad enough that the contestants on the course had to do the challenge blindfolded... but they had to do it blindfolded while avoiding freaking bears!

Desirae and Xev were fortunate enough to take some bags out of the course and back to their bucket.

"Kieran, sug'," Desirae asked. "I think we should use some banana peels and take down these bad boys!"

"Okay, go ahead," Kieran said back. Xev and Desirae opened the bag, and felt around for some bananas. They unpeeled them, and ate them (or at least tried to, of course), and reentered the course with peels in hand.

"SHAZAM!" Desirae shouted, and threw a peel at what she thought was a bear. Indeed, a bear did slip and fall on the banana peel, and the audience laughed. Xev threw another peel, but it wasn't a bear that slipped and fell on it... it was Ward! He tripped and fell into Hektor, and they fell down, and the audience laughed again.

"That wasn't funny..." muttered Hektor.

"It was to me!" Xev said.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: So we took down a bear, and... someone who we thought was a bear... but two for the price of one, y'all!

XEV: At the rate we're going, we could have all the ammo we need, and not only take out several bears, but also mess up Team Beta as well, and come in way ahead of them... again!

UNIQUE: We could've brought back like five or ten bags of bananas right now if Skyler had just let us on the course. I decided it was time to do what needed to be done!

- B -

At that instant, Ireland and Unique went out on the course. "Ireland! Unique! What do you think you're doing?"

"We decided we couldn't wait, and we're going to do this challenge," Unique responded.

"But... you'll get hurt out there!" Skyler protested. "There are bears on the course now!"

"Then maybe you could've, I don't know, let us on there at the beginning, when there weren't any to begin with?" Unique replied.

"Unique has the right idea," said Talwen. "Velandra, let's follow them."

"Way ahead of you, chica," said Velandra, and she and Talwen went on the course as well.

"Urggh!" Skyler muttered.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

SKYLER: So much for my perfect team... I couldn't have predicted this outcome! We are going to visit the Bonfire Ceremony earlier than we expected to... why did this have to happen?

TALWEN: I think it's so nice of Skyler to want to protect the girls on his team from getting in harm's way. Thank you so much, Skyler, for saving us from that giant hole you just dug for yourself, pal.

- B -

York had retrieved another bag for Team Omega, and took a banana out and tried to eat it, leaving another peel. She threw a peel on the ground just as Desirae had thrown one.

Two Team Beta groups were currently in the vicinity of banana peels, the team of Elvio and Payson, and the team of Ireland and Unique.

Skyler instantly noticed that Elvio and Payson were in a banana-peel covered path! "Elvio, don't move! Go two spaces to the right instead!" Elvio did. However, Ireland couldn't see where she was going, and she tripped and fell on the peel, and the audience laughed again.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: Not only does it sadden me that a lot of people are littering in this challenge, but I figured out that Skyler stopped the guys on his team from slipping, but didn't warn us girls at all. I hate his double standards!

SKYLER: On the contrary, I did warn those girls. I warned them of what would happen if they put themselves in great danger. They should've listened...

- B -

Gareth felt around for a bag (since he was the only member of his team who hadn't brought a bag back himself), and instead of a bag of bananas, what he felt was furry. It was a bear who had been napping nearby, and was about to claw at Gareth for disturbing its nap!

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

GARETH: Of all the rotten luck... why, Chris, why?

- B -

Just then, Gareth's teammate Luna turned to face the bear that was in front of her, and said, "Hey there, Mr. Bear, look at me, I have purple hair!" Luna pointed to the purple hair on her head, and the bear was flabbergasted. Shocked, it ran away... but not before tripping on a banana peel that had been placed in front of it by York nearby.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

LUNA: See? I told ya I was gonna do it!

- B -

It was getting really crazy on the course! Talwen and Velandra both found two bags in front of them, and when a bear appeared, the two girls flung their bags at the bear and knocked it unconscious.

When another bear tried to maul Unique, it looked at her sexy body and its eyes turned to heart symbols. The bear picked up a nearby bag and handed it to her.

Meanwhile, Connor slipped and fell on a banana peel that Elvio threw on the ground, causing Connor to drop the bag he was carrying. The bag flew and hit Ward in the back, causing Ward to topple and fall into Hektor again. "Aiyaah..." Hektor muttered. "This has to stop happening."

Also Payson felt around for another bag, but what he touched was actually Desirae's backside! "Whatchoo doin', foo'? Who do that?" Desirae said, and Payson, embarrased, quietly backed away.

Eventually, craziness continued like this until the end of the hour, when Chris called time. "Time's up!" he shouted. "Let's see which team is the top banana!"

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: I was really confident my team would win. I mean, you saw Skyler's team! Skyler is more like the type that if he would donate his old clothing, he'd give it to just boys. I donate some of my old clothing to both boys and girls. ...And I hope you won't interpret that as me actually having girls' clothing.

CHRIS: Connor has girls' clothing? [He laughs his head off.] Oh man... I wonder what little gems our chatterboxes are gonna come up with next?

- B -

The nine members of Team Beta and the nine members of Team Omega have assembled. Those who have had blindfolds before were not wearing them now.

"Okay, let's see how Team Beta did." Chris took the red Team Beta bucket and weighed it on a giant scale. The needle seemed to go to the 500 mark.

"About 500 kilos, not too shabby! Now it's Team Omega's turn." Chris took the purple Team Omega bucket and weighed it on another giant scale. This time the needle reached 800. Team Omega cheered.

"Team Omega wins invincibility!" Chris shouted. "...Or rather, Team Omega would have won invincibility, but one of its team members took their blindfold off during the challenge, and got their team disqualified!"

The Team Omega members were shocked, and were worried about who could have potentially snatched victory from their grasp.

"...Nah, I was just teasin' ya, brah. None of you took your blindfolds off, Team Omega wins, Team Beta loses!" Chris said. "I just wanted to see how you'd react is all." Upon hearing this, Team Omega went back to cheering.

- B -

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BLAINE: Ha! Take that, "Blaineley"! I made it at least one episode longer than you did on World Tour! Still think your brother's a loser now? Think again!

GARETH: Yes! My team won! That means I'm not going to be the first one voted off after all! My luck is finally changing! Woohoo! [He stands up and raises his fists in the air, then trips and falls in the toilet seat.] Um, can someone get me out of here, please?

- B -

The Team Beta members were shocked at the loss. What could have possibly gone wrong?

"Why did we lose?" asked Ward.

"We got less bananas than the other team did, why do you think?" replied Unique.

"But that's impossible... I thought we would win with my leadership..." said Skyler in shock.

"Oh, and here's what we think of your so-called leadership!" Velandra replied. The four Team Beta girls all picked up the red bucket with bananas in it, and poured the bananas all over Skyler's body. Skyler was not amused.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: Normally, I'd be against littering, but I felt that it needed to be done to him!

SKYLER: The girls may have found that funny, but I, Skyler Streiler, have the last laugh. There are only four of them, but there are five guys in my alliance. This season's theme may be the alphabet, but I'm more interested in numbers, thanks.

- B -

The Team Omega members were still celebrating.

"Team Omega, congrats! As your reward for coming in first, you get to share the Luxury Cabin with Team Alpha tonight!"

"Yeah!" the Team Omega members cheered, and started hugging their new cabinmates and shaking their hands.

"As for Team Beta..." Chris continued, staring at the losing team. "You all get to share the Loser Cabin tonight!"

"What?" shouted the Team Beta members.

"Aw, man, do I have to live in the same cabin as... her?" Elvio complained, pointing at Velandra.

"You know, I could vote you off right now and solve both our problems, chico," Velandra replied.

"However, it's time for another twist, also brought to you by the letter B!" Chris announced. "B... is for Bonus Challenge!"

The nine members of Team Alpha were shocked.

"That's right. All nine of you are competing, and this one will be for individual invincibility! Fun, huh?"

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

SKYLER: So a bonus challenge for individual invincibility, eh? That sounds interesting. I have gone over at least one hundred different individual challenge scenarios in my head, all with myself emerging victorious. And this upcoming one should be just the sort of thing to put those stragglers in their place.

VELANDRA: I have the feeling that Chris conveniently pulls these twists out of thin air at the last possible minute to keep whoever he wants in this game. Oh well, I've been told to expect the unexpected... but then again, that's what they should do too!

- B -

Some time later, nine wooden discs, each with three tiny balls on them, are placed in front of the members of Team Beta. "I like this challenge," said Chris. "B is for Balancing Balls! .This challenge is actually very simple... each contestant will be standing on a log, and you will be holding a disc, while trying to balance a ball on it. Every fifteen minutes, you will have to add another ball onto it, up to a total of three. If you fall off your log, drop your disc, or one of your balls falls off the disc, you are out of the challenge, and will be humiliated for the second time in the same episode! The last one standing wins invincibility and cannot be voted off tonight! Now, if you will take your positions, we'll get started!"

The nine contestants took their positions.

- B -

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TALWEN: It's no surprise that given this show's alphabet theme, this episode has one of the most childish challenges in Total Drama history!

ELVIO: This is my favorite challenge yet! All I have to do to win this challenge is hang onto my balls! Heh... I always wanted to say that on international TV.

- B -

The nine Team Beta members each were standing on a log, and holding onto their disc, which has a single ball on it.

"Your challenge begins now!" said Chris. The contestants were having to balance their ball onto the disc... some had an easier time, like Skyler, Ward, and Elvio, while others, like Hektor, Ireland and Velandra, were struggling.

Sure enough, before a minute was up, Ireland's ball and Velandra's ball fell off their respective discs after the two girls struggled to keep them balanced.

"Ireland and Velandra have dropped their balls!" Chris shouted, and then he laughed at his joke. Velandra just scowled at him.

"Oh yeah? Well, I don't think you have any at all!" Velandra responded to Chris, as she and Ireland sat on the sidelines.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: Seriously, what is this, grade 5?

VELANDRA: If they're going to put a lot of immature fratboy jokes into a challenge, I figured I might as well join in!

- B -

The seven remaining contestants were approaching the fifteen-minute mark. Suddenly, Hektor slips off his log and falls, causing his ball to fall from his disc.

"And Hektor has no more balls!" shouted Chris, who then laughed. Hektor frowned as he joined Ireland and Velandra.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

HEKTOR: Aiyaah... that's not a very nice thing to say to a boy!

- B -

As the six remaining contestants endured, a clock began to ding. "Fifteen minutes are up! It's time to add another ball to your discs! Now you'll have a pair!" Chris instructed, and the contestants each added another ball.

Suddenly, Payson, began to struggle trying to maintain his balance, and both balls on his disc fell off.

"Payson has lost both of his balls!" Chris shouted. "Payson, go join the three others who don't have balls anymore!" Payson joined the other three, while Chris laughed at his joke.

- B -

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PAYSON: I had two balls, I saw them both fall, and what Chris did ain't cool at all!

- B -

The thirty-minute mark was approaching, and some of the contestants, like Talwen and Ward, were nervous. In fact, they were the next two who lost their balance, and the balls from their discs fell.

"Talwen and Ward have failed to hold onto their balls!" Chris shouted, and Ward and Talwen joined the four eliminated contestants.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: I thought I'd do a good job handling my balls... I guess I must not have prepared enough for challenges like this.

TALWEN: Oh well, I guess it's a good thing for me to not have balls anymore... not that I should ever have them to begin with.

- B -

The clock dinged again. "You three have managed to maintain control of your balls for half an hour!" Chris said to Elvio, Skyler and Unique. "Now, each of you has to put a third ball on that disc of yours!" The three put another ball on top. "Can you imagine what it's like having three balls now?"

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: Chris, please don't put these kinds of images in my head!

- B -

The three remaining contestants were trying as hard as they can to keep all three balls on their disc while balancing on their log. The balls on Skyler's disc seem to stay perfectly still... the balls on Elvio's disc are spaced quite a bit apart, while the balls on Unique's disc seem to be moving around... and Unique kept having to move the disc around to keep them from falling off.

"Unique's balls seem to be all over the place today," Chris observed. "And Elvio's balls are spread apart. While Skyler is like a statue... his balls haven't moved for a long time!" And then he laughed some more.

Suddenly, there was a slight breeze, and some of the balls on the discs were rolling around, reacting to the gusts. "Ah, don't you just love when the wind blows your balls around?" Chris said.

"Not funny, Chris!" Unique complained.

But at this point, Unique lost her composure, and she fell off, and all three balls fell off her disc.

"Unique's balls are gone!" Chris shouted. Unique joined the other eliminated contestants while Chris laughed.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: Is Chris seriously trying to make fun of me?

SKYLER: This is a satisfying ending to this challenge. All of my targets have failed to win immunity, because unlike them, I am perfectly capable of holding onto my balls.

- B -

At this point, the two people left in the challenge, Skyler and Elvio, were still hanging in there. Suddenly... Skyler winked at Elvio, and Elvio winked back at him. Skyler pretended to "accidentally" fall off, causing the three balls to fall off his disc.

"Oops!" Skyler said. "I dropped my balls!"

"And Elvio is the only one who held onto his balls the longest! He wins invincibility!" Chris announced.

"Oh yeah!" Elvio whooped. "Who's the best? Elvio is! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!" He did an arrogant dance on his log, while Velandra facepalmed.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ELVIO: Booyah! I won invincibility, bro! Those girls think they can get rid of me, but they know they can't! I'm immune, baby! YEAH!

SKYLER: To tell you the truth, I threw the challenge. But I am not going anywhere, it will be one of the girls going, because even if they somehow band together and target one of us, it will not matter, because I do not see it affecting anything. They're in the minority, and they have to accept that.

VELANDRA: Ugh! I will not accept being in the minority! It is on, Skyler!

- B -

It was just minutes before the Bonfire Ceremony, and Skyler had huddled together with Hektor, Payson, Elvio, and Ward for a last-minute strategy meeting.

"So, who should we vote off?" Ward asked.

"Duh, Velandra!" Elvio said. "She's loud and obnoxious!"

"She's as wack as a crack that breaks your mother's back!" said Payson.

"Plus she went onto the course when she was specifically instructed not to," Skyler said. "But then, so did the other three girls, but I suppose you do have a point."

"All right, let's vote then!" said Hektor.

While the guys were lining up in front of the Confessional Outhouse to cast their votes, the girls were huddling up together for a strategy meeting of their own.

"The choice is obvious," said Talwen. "We all need to vote Skyler off, but those guys are voting now, and it could be difficult to change their minds."

"Leave it to me," Unique said, as she then left the group to wait in the voting line.

Currently waiting in line were Hektor and Ward. Elvio and Payson have already voted, while Skyler was currently in the outhouse casting his vote.

"Hey, boys," said Unique in a flirty voice. "You're right... I give up. I talked it over with Talwen and Velandra, and we're voting off Ireland, because we don't know if she's as strong as the rest of us are, and if you vote her off, you can keep your advantage, so..."

At this point, Hektor's and Ward's eyes turned to heart symbols.

Skyler had just finished coming out of the outhouse. "Are you ready to cast your vote yet?"

"Coming!" Ward shouted, and he entered the outhouse. Unique crossed her fingers.

- B -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ELVIO: Velandra, here's something that starts with B - BUH-BYE!

SKYLER: Velandra, you have overstayed your welcome. Go back to the kitchen, where you belong.

VELANDRA: Skyler, you are about to meet your match! Check and mate, chico.

UNIQUE: I hope this works...

WARD: Um... who was I supposed to vote for again?

- B -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The nine members of Team Beta were sitting on tree stumps awaiting the results of the vote-off. Chris McClean was there holding a box of cookies.

"Campers," Chris began. "In my hand is a box of alphabet cookies. There are eight of them inside, and they're shaped like the first letters in the names of the people who are safe. If you do not see a cookie that is shaped like the first letter in your name, you must go to the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and you can never come back... ever!"

Chris opened the box of cookies, and pulled out a cookie shaped like the letter E. "Elvio, you're safe!" He threw the cookie to Elvio, and Elvio caught it.

The next cookie Chris took out was shaped like the letter W. "Ward, you are safe!" He threw the cookie to Ward.

The next cookie Chris pulled out was shaped like the letter T. "Talwen!" Chris threw the cookie to Talwen.

The next cookie was shaped like the letter P. "Payson!" Payson caught the cookie Chris threw at him.

The next cookie was shaped like the letter H. "Hektor, you're safe!" Chris threw the cookie to Hektor.

The next cookie resembled the letter U. "Unique, so are you!" Chris threw the cookie to Unique.

"Two cookies left!" Chris said. He then pulled out a cookie resembling the letter I. "Ireland, you're safe!" Ireland caught the cookie thrown at her.

"Only two people left, Skyler and Velandra! Who is safe, and who will go home? The last cookie goes to..."

Skyler just stood there smirking, while Velandra just glared angrily at him.

- A -

- B -

- C -

- D -

- E -

- F -

- G -

- H -

- I -

- J -

- K -

- L -

- M -

- N -

- O -

- P -

- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

"...Velandra!" Chris threw the V-shaped cookie at Velandra, who then grinned. Skyler just stood there in shock.

"But... this can't be! Now you people are going to lose every challenge!" Skyler complained.

"Prove it!" said Velandra.

Skyler tried to say something, but was at a loss.

"The Boat of Losers awaits you, brah!" Chris said to Skyler.

- B -

The Boat of Losers was carrying Skyler out into the night sky, and out of the game for good. He then looked at the four other boys, and waved to them, saying, "Win this game for me, you four!"

"You know we will, bro!" Elvio responded. While the boys cheered Skyler on, the girls scowled at them.

"Ah, B is for Bromance, a perfect way to end the episode!" Chris said, then turned to the camera. "Who will be the next one to leave the game? Find out next time, on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY:

Skyler (4) - Ireland, Talwen, Unique, Velandra

Velandra (3) - Elvio, Payson, Skyler

Ireland (2) - Hektor, Ward

Episode 3: "C" You Later

Episode 3 begins the same way the one before it did, with Chris standing on the Dock of Shame to speak to the viewers. "Last time, on Total Drama Alpharama..."

A montage of all the stuff that happened in Episode 2 showed up.

"It was a brutal bloodbath between Teams Beta and Omega to see which team would remain a team of nine and which would be the first to eat its own. In a challenge involving bananas, Team Omega showed us they had plenty of appeal, while the once-mighty Team Beta started to slip. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Skyler would not let the girls have a go, since he feels that boys are better than girls... and of course, we are! ...I mean, dude's entitled to his opinion. But the fun wasn't over yet, as I made Team Beta participate in yet another challenge for invincibility, and as it turns out, those players had balls! ...That is, until they dropped some of them. In the end, Elvio won the challenge because he was ballin', but lost his leader after Unique pulled out some last-minute strategy. Which surprised even me, since I was sure Skyler would win the whole shebang."

We cut back to Chris on the Dock of Shame.

"25 contestants remain!" Chris exclaimed. "C is for chairs, couches, and cushions, and you'll want to sit down on them, because for one day only, the circus has come to town! You've never seen a show like this one, coming up later today on Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"

- A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

[TEAMS ALPHA & OMEGA - LUXURY CABIN]

Last night, the Luxury Cabin housed eight people. This night, it housed a whopping seventeen! The Cabin had reintroduced itself to the members of Team Alpha, and this time, Team Omega would spent the night there.

One table was where Ashlynn and Morganne chatted with each other the night before. This same table is where Ashlynn and Morganne are chatting now... with Desirae and Xev!

"OMG, I love how your team kicked Skyler's butt in the challenge earlier today!" Ashlynn said to Xev.

"Hey, never underestimate the power of purple hair!" Xev replied.

"And good riddance he's gone! Skyler is nothing but a sexist... strategybot!" shouted Morganne.

- C -

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MORGANNE: Heh... "strategybot". I'm pretty proud of that one!

- C -

"I know, right?" Desirae replied. "Who do that jive turkey think he is disrespectin' the girls like that? I swear, if I see that foo' again, I'ma give him this!" Desirae stands up and does a foot kick in the air. "Shazam!"

Ashlynn, Morganne and Xev giggle.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ASHLYNN: I was glad not to be on Skyler's team in the beginning. He wouldn't have picked on me just for being a blond girl, but he'd pick on me for being a girl! Guess what, Skyler! Lindsay's not a contestant this season, okay? I am, and I'm still here, and you're not. Deal with that!

DESIRAE: I like to turn back the clock to the '70s, but I swear that Skyler foo' liked to turn the clock back to the early 1900s, when women didn't have no rights at all! Oh well, he out of the game now, so he'll have plenty of time to learn his history lesson. Alyssa, teach it for him, will ya, sug'? Thank you.

- C -

It was at this point that Blaine walked over to the table where the four girls were sitting.

"Hey, girls, what's up?" Blaine asked.

"We are just celebrating the downfall of a guy who's even more of a sexist than Ezekiel was in season 1!" Morganne responded. "And history has repeated itself by making him the first one gone!"

"Too bad Skyler didn't have a hilariously over-the-top Canadian accent, or history would have really repeated itself!" Blaine replied.

"Ooh, good one!" Xev laughed.

"I think you're a very nice guy!" said Ashlynn. "Not at all like Mr. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named!"

"Yeah, it'd be a real shame if you were like Skyler, and were clearly cast for the purpose of causing manufactured drama at the expense of those who would give an arm and a leg to be on this program!" Morganne said.

"Yeah... a real shame..." Blaine said, starting to grow nervous.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: Must... resist urge... to tell them...!

- C -

"So, what do you say?" Xev said. "If there was an alliance of five that deserves to go all the way, it should be this one!"

"Let's do it!" said Blaine, and the five people at the table all held out their hands.

"Yeah!"

But little did they know that York was peeking at them from behind a nearby wall, and smiling quietly and evilly...

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

XEV: A great alliance does not have to consist of just guys, you know, otherwise it would get really boring! It can consist of guys and girls, and they can be people from different teams! I like that it's happening, because now the game is going to get interesting, just the way I like it!

YORK: So, Desirae, Xev, and Blaine are in an alliance, eh? With Ashlynn and Morganne, and not me? This is perfect... I've found a group of three people I have to break up today, because I'm not letting them go after me if our team loses! Now I need to wait for the right opportunity to do this...

- C -

At another table, Justus and Ross were talking. Justus, in particular, was catching a glance of Desirae talking to Xev, Ashlynn, Blaine, and Morganne.

"Man, that girl has a fine booty to go with that sweet fro!" Justus said.

"Whoa!" Ross said in surprise. "You like dat ooman?"

"That's right," Justus replied. "I like both her and Unique."

"Ah, you a like dem ca' dey both black... me know!" Ross replied with a sly grin on his face.

"Yeah, I admit it," Justus said. "I likes me the black ladies. It's a shame neither of them ended up on our team, because I love them both! But now that Dezzy's here, I'ma try to get to know her."

Justus then went over to Desirae just as Ashlynn, Morganne, Xev and Blaine left.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ROSS: Me can neva' undastan dat boy's choice in women. Him may like who him choose to like... but da Rasta nuh picky!

- C -

"Hey, there," Justus said to Desirae. "My name is Justus, and now that it's just us... get it?... I think we need to, you know, get to know each other a bit?"

"Okay," said Desirae. "My name is Desirae, and I've been interested in dancin' since I was a baby, sug'!"

"Wow, I can tell!" said Justus. "You have a really nice booty!"

"Guys always say that when they walk up to me!" said Desirae. "By the way, someone tried to touch it earlier in the challenge, was it you, honey?"

"Wha?" Justus was taken aback. "I couldn't have done none of that, I was watchin' the challenge!"

"Well, someone did, and I don't know who done that. I'm sure whoever did will fess up eventually." And then Desirae went back to rejoin her friends.

- C -

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JUSTUS: So someone's tryin' to move in on my girl Dezzy? Not cool... whoever yo' name is! I will find y'all and make sure you don't do it again! She needs that booty for booty-quakin'!

- C -

The plush sofa was currently inhabited by Francesca, who was playing a baseball video game against Connor. Connor stared in shock as his team was defeated by Francesca's team for all nine innings.

"Wow, you're really good at this game!" Connor said to Francesca.

"Thanks!" Francesca replied. "Whenever I'm at the controller in my house, and that game is in the console, my bros are scared to come near me!"

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: Unbelievable! I never thought I could lose to someone like Francesca at "Muskoka Minor Leaguers", and my father's company is the one that made that game in the first place!

- C -

Just then, Nevaeh walked over to both of them.

"Oh my, what are you two playing?" Nevaeh asked.

"It's a video game," said Francesca. "But I'm warning you, if you play against me, you're gonna lose big time!"

"I don't think I've ever seen one of these before in my entire life!" Nevaeh replied. "It sure sounds like fun though!"

Connor and Francesca have confused expressions on their faces.

- C -

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FRANCESCA: How was I supposed to know that Navala... or whoever the N girl is... has never played a video game? They're like freaking all over the place!

- C -

Nevaeh watched as Francesca held the controller in her hands like a baseball bat. Francesca "swatted" the baseballs with her controller and when she found out that she hit a home run, she became excited. "And that's how you do it!"

"Wow, I want to try!" Nevaeh said.

"Okay, knock yourself out," Francesca said, giving the controller to Nevaeh.

- C -

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FRANCESCA: I think giving her that controller may have been a big mistake.

- C -

As the baseball player on the screen threw a baseball, Nevaeh swung the controller at it, and it hit the screen and accidentally hit the screen and broke it!

"Oops..." Nevaeh said, shocked at what she had done.

"It's okay, it was just an accident," Connor said to Nevaeh, consoling her.

"Well, I guess we won't be playing video games for a while when we come back here," Francesca said.

"If we come back here," Connor said. "We have to be in first place once again for that to happen."

"True," Francesca replied. "Plus Chris'll probably be paying for a new TV screen with his own money anyway!"

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

NEVAEH: It's official... I think I'm done playing these "video games" for a while. Everyone else here can play them, but leave me out of them!

CHRIS: My new 40-inch plasma! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

- C -

[TEAM BETA - LOSER CABIN]

It was a different story at the Loser Cabin. Instead of seventeen contestants celebrating their teams' victories, it was comprised of eight contestants who just returned after voting off one of their own. And while the boys had one cabin to themselves and the girls had one cabin to themselves last time, all eight team members had to share this one!

And the girls in particular were having a hard time trying to get to sleep... with the guys' snoring!

- C -

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TALWEN: Of course none of the eight of us want to ever come back to the Loser Cabin! Particularly us girls... I swear, at some point, I had the perfect inspiration for a poem, and Elvio's snoring had to ruin it. Great... once again, thank you, guys, for costing us the victory and wasting several hours of our lives!

IRELAND: Whenever I hear the guys snore, it's like they're cutting more trees out there, but they're doing it inside the cabin! That scares me even more!

- C -

At this point, Velandra decided she had had enough of Elvio's snoring, and poked him with a stick to wake him up.

"Whoa!" Elvio said. "I was havin' the coolest dream, don't do that!"

"Okay, seriously, man, you need to stop with all this snorin', okay, chico?" Velandra said.

"Yeah, it's getting annoying!" said Unique.

"Well, it doesn't annoy me!" said Elvio. "I think you're really just annoyed by all the hotness in this room!" Elvio said as he flexed his muscles at the girls.

- C -

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UNIQUE: Urgh! Even I don't flaunt my body that arrogantly! Besides, I think he paid to have his body done that way!

ELVIO: [flexes his muscles] See these babies? I may have paid a pretty penny for them, but these are gonna give me the big million in the end! Just you watch!

- C -

"Anyway, I think we should go back to sleep," said Talwen, as she, Ireland, Velandra, and Unique went back to bed.

"Good idea," said Elvio. "It's good for you to have sweet dreams, and dreams don't get any sweeter unless Elvio's in them!" Velandra just scowled and put a pillow over each of her ears to try to drown out Elvio's snoring.

- C -

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VELANDRA: A real sweet dream would be if Elvio's butt was the next one to go to the Playa de Losers. Then again, it might be a good thing for him, because he can finally be reunited with his man-crush Skyler. And a good thing for us, because we'll be far away from having to see that kinda stuff.

- C -

- DAY 3 -

[TEAMS ALPHA & OMEGA - LUXURY CABIN]

While most of Teams Alpha and Omega were up already and getting ready for breakfast, York decided to check up on Gareth and Luna, who were sleeping in one of the bedrooms that night.

She quietly picked up a small brown paper bag, blew into it, and then when it was filled with enough air, she popped it, waking the two up.

"Oh, it's a lovely morning today, isn't it?" York said with feigned cheeriness.

"That explosion I heard tells me otherwise," Gareth said, still frightened from what he just heard.

"So? I didn't find anything wrong with it," Luna said, still maintaining her cheeriness.

- C -

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YORK: The truth is, if Team Omega lost the challenge the day before, either Gareth or Luna would've been voted off, no question, thanks to moi. I'd still like to dip two cotton swabs in acid and put them in my ears to avoid having to hear either of them speak... but they are far from my biggest threat now, so I decided to do what my muse Heather would do and form an alliance with both of the freaks.

- C -

"Oh, and as long as the three of us are here..." York said. "I think it would be great if we started an alliance together, that no one else would see coming!"

"An alliance? Cool!" Gareth replied.

"So this is where we hold out our hands and whatever?" Luna said, already holding her hand out.

"Yeah, sure..." said York, as she and Gareth held out their hands too.

"This is now the Awesomesauce Alliance!" Luna said, slapping her hands with Gareth's and York's.

"Awesomesauce Alliance?" York said, confused.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

LUNA: Yep, I chose that name because I think it sounds really cool! Plus, I don't think anyone chose that name for an alliance yet, hee hee!

- C -

"Yay! This is gonna be the best alliance ever!" Luna beamed as she left the room to go get some breakfast. Gareth was about to leave too, but York quietly pulled him aside.

"As long as the two of us are here, Gareth... I don't care what any of the other girls say... but I think you're actually kinda hot," York said with a fake smile. And then she left the room.

"Wow..." Gareth said, still stunned.

- C -

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GARETH: My time in New Wawanakwa is actually getting better! While most of the girls would've turned me down, York is actually interested in me! I guess I'm not a loser after all!

YORK: As if I would even go there! I'm just pretending to have a crush on the dweebazoid so I can keep him for numbers! In any case, me, Luna and Mr. Delusional are three, but I still need two more for a majority to take down Ms. Freaky Hair. I don't know which one yet, since there's more than one... but I would like to take both of them down, hopefully today!

- C -

Some of the members of Team Alpha were preparing for the upcoming challenge by doing some morning training. Since Zakeri the martial artist was on their team, Odessa and Quillon were watching him as he did his morning kata exercises.

- C -

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ZAKERI: Say what you will about kata, but I happen to like this method of training. It allows me to develop my arm and leg muscles, plus it's a great way to relieve stress. Besides, I saw that two of my teammates were interested in it as well!

- C -

As Zakeri raised his left arm and put it in front of his face, Odessa and Quillon put their left arms in front of their faces. As Zakeri put his right foot out in front of him, Odessa and Quillon did the same with their right feet. Zakeri instantly noticed this.

"Oh. Que onda, man?" Quillon asked.

"I noticed you seem to take a liking to my martial arts training!" Zakeri said with a small smile on his face.

"Well, we do want to win challenges, so why not do some practicing while it's still this early, ese?" Quillon replied.

- C -

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QUILLON: Zakeri is why we are probably going to win the next several challenges. I mean, the vato has probably had experience in dealing with gangs and bullies. The martial arts I learn from this man will no doubt be the first step in stopping "Los Cocodrilos Azules" from stealing our school supplies ever again!

ODESSA: I learned some martial arts from Zakeri, because, I admit it, I have never taken martial arts before. And I don't know how the deaf Mary Sues in fanfics I've read know martial arts already! You know, I wonder if I can incorporate my signing into my martial arts poses, because I don't think that's ever been done before!

- C -

After Zakeri finished his kata, he practiced some of his karate moves on a tree that was nearby the Luxury Cabin. He raised his arm, and thrust towards the tree, causing it to shake.

You can just imagine the shocked looks on Zakeri's, Odessa's, and Quillon's faces when Kieran, who had been sleeping in that tree the night before, fell down from the leaves.

"Whoa!" Zakeri said. "I didn't see you there!"

"So that's where you were!" said Odessa. "I was wondering why I counted only sixteen of us in the Luxury Cabin!"

"Yeah, whatever," Kieran said, as he brushed himself off, and headed off by himself again.

- C -

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KIERAN: So? There are plenty of trees in New Wawanakwa. I plan to climb a lot of them, and maybe I'll find one that none of the others even know about yet. It's there, I just have to find it first.

QUILLON: The rooms in the Luxury Cabin are like the cushiest ever, and he still sleeps outside? He's one loco hombre, man...

- C -

[MESS HALL]

Breakfast in the mess hall, like the two days before it, had a theme. This time, it was cold cereal, cinnamon rolls, corn muffins, carrot sticks, and a nice glass of cherry juice. Compliments to the Chef!

While the Team Alpha and Team Omega tables were typically coed, we could still see that Team Beta was divided along gender lines based on the seating formations. Ward and Hektor, in particular, were still reeling from the vote-off the night before.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: Those girls really outplayed us, bro. We went in with five to their four, and now we're pretty much tied up. But hey, I've been in this situation before in my games, and I've gotten the Breakers out of a tie situation and into victory in the past! I can get out of this situation, too! YEEEEAH!

HEKTOR: Aiyaa... and I thought I was the only one on my team who was good at math. I guess those girls were too... they really got us good. But I don't know whether I should stick with my boys or jump ship and join the girls... I mean, I've never said it to his face, but I think Elvio's like one of the bullies at school who would pick on me and call me a "nerd" just because I wear glasses and am good at math. ...He's not listening in on this, is he?

- C -

Hektor and Ward were awkwardly trying to eat their breakfast, while Elvio and Payson were just staring at them.

"So..." Elvio said.

"So... yeah." Ward said.

"Yeah," Hektor replied.

"Okay," Payson said, while the four boys continued eating their breakfast awkwardly.

- C -

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PAYSON: Yo, yo, yo! We need a win sooner or later, because it'll be a great team motivator! First place will get us out of this funk, and so I don't have to share a bunk! Word up!

- C -

At this point, Chris' voice echoed over the P.A. system again. "Campers, the next challenge is ready! I will C you all there!" he said, and then he laughed at his joke. The campers, of course, resumed eating.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

TALWEN: Oh, gee, I wonder what letter of the alphabet this challenge is going to be about today? [She smiles, and puts a finger to her lips.]

- C -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

The twenty-five contestants went out to the Challenge Field. They were surprised when they saw three giant red-and-yellow-striped tents in the center. There was carnival music blaring from calliopes which sounded louder as the contestants approached. Chris and Chef, wearing ridiculously colorful clown uniforms, greeted the contestants.

- C -

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ODESSA: I may not have heard the music from the calliopes, but the costumes Chris and Chef were wearing were loud enough for my eyes to hear!

- C -

"Come one, come all, to the first annual Chris McClean Circus, brought to you by..." Chris said, holding up a letter C. "...the letter C! C is for Circus, and we're clowns!" Chef began honking on a bicycle horn.

- C -

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ASHLYNN: OMG... [laughs] It took you five seasons, and you two finally admit it?

- C -

"This is also a three-ring circus, which means there will be three separate challenges that you teams have to compete in, each in a different tent!" Chris explained. "And these three challenges are also brought to you by the letter C! C is for Cannonball Connect Five, in the leftmost tent, where two or three of your team members will load a cannon and aim it at some targets! You will have to shoot at these targets so that you hit five in a row, horizontally, vertically, or diagonally! If you do that, you will receive a coin! The cannonballs are heavy, though, so I hope you're able to carry them! You will have a blast with this challenge!"

"C is also for Cat Cages, in the rightmost tent, where three of you will have to stick your hands into one of the cages, each containing a circus cat, and retrieve a colored cat toy that they are guarding! You must grab the cat toy that matches your team's color! If you retrieve all three, you will receive another coin! But watch out, those are some fierce felines in those cages, and they may scratch you! Ouch! These are definitely not your typical housecats, ladies and gentlemen!"

"And in the center tent, C is for Cotton Candy Climb, where three of you will climb a really long ladder to the top platform, where you must then stand on each other's shoulders, so that the camper at the top will retrieve some cotton candy that's on the ceiling! Hope you're not afraid of heights! After that, climb down with the cotton candy, and you'll receive another coin! The first two teams to complete all three challenges and receive all three coins will win invincibility!"

The twenty-five contestants cheered!

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ELVIO: So what if the challenge takes place in Cirque du So-Lame? The Elvio is gonna win this to avenge his bro Skyler! Yo, Anne Maria, you watching?

YORK: I cannot see why Team Omega is gonna lose this challenge. There are a lot of clowns on my team, so this challenge is probably made for them!

- C -

"In addition, we have a twist to this challenge, which also starts with the letter C!" Chris pulled out twenty-five pieces of paper and pencils and gave them to the contestants. "C... is for Choose! You must choose the order of the challenges the teams have to perform, and which contestants get to participate in them!" Chris then laughed to himself, while the contestants had to make some hard choices.

- C -

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MORGANNE: C is for Clever Chris! I like how the twist gives the challenge a strategy element, because we can basically play god and figure out who on the opposing teams would do the worst at certain challenges! I only hope that they don't have me do the cat challenge... can you think about what one of those beasts will do to my hands? I might never do any of my famous reality TV blogs again!

XEV: I don't care which challenge I end up with! I love the circus... well, I do now, after I went to class one day with rainbow-colored hair and one of the students said I look like a circus performer! Which could be true, since I think I can do really good at any three of these challenges! Oh, and I'd better put on some makeup for the occasion, excuse me... [She pulls out a hand mirror, and applies some face-paint so that one half of her face is black, and the other half of her face is white.] This clown makeup is like warpaint, and Chris is gonna freak when he sees me like this!

- C -

After the twenty-five contestants had made their selections (and several of the contestants laughed when they saw Xev in her new clown makeup), they handed in their papers to Chris. Chris and Chef looked over the papers, and after giggling at the choices, Chris took out another piece of paper, and wrote something down on it.

"The campers have chosen!" Chris announced.

- C -

Several contestants from the teams stood in front of the tent they were assigned. "It seems you made some rather interesting choices, campers! Team Alpha will start by doing the Cannonball Connect Five Challenge, and Ashlynn and Ross have been chosen to do it! Team Beta's first challenge is Cotton Candy Climb, and Elvio, Velandra, and Hektor are gonna start this one! And for Team Omega, their first challenge is Cat Cages, which will be done by Gareth, Xev, and Neevy... Navi... Neevah..."

"Nuh-VEE-uh!" Nevaeh corrected him.

"Anyway, the N girl!" Chris continued. "The challenge begins now!" Chris honked his clown horn and the eight contestants on the course ran into their respective tents.

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

Ashlynn and Ross went into the leftmost tent, and saw three cannons, each with a set of cannonballs and twenty-five targets to hit. They went toward the cannon that had the green Team Alpha logo on it and immediately went toward the group of cannonballs.

Ashlynn and Ross started picking up a cannonball, and it was then that they realized... those things sure are heavy!

"Yikes..." Ashlynn said. "When Chris said they were heavy, they weren't kidding!"

"Me nuh worry," said Ross. "Me a lift heavy t'ings all de time when me carry me team's volleyball equipment!" He then helped Ashlynn with the cannonball and the two of them put it into the cannon.

"Okay, let's aim this bad boy!" Ashlynn said. The two focused on the target in the exact center. Ross lit the fuse and... KABOOM! The cannonball hit the target dead on in the center! It lit up bright green!

"One down, four to go," Ashlynn observed.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ASHLYNN: I wonder if any pirates out on the high seas played tic tac toe, this would be how they did it? ...And yes, that is exactly what I was thinking, even though you would probably use this as a "ditzy blonde" quote to paint me as, you know, a ditzy blonde! Good thing Ross helped lifting those heavy things... I do not want to leave the game with injured shoulders, thank you!

- C -

[TEAM BETA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

Elvio, Hektor and Velandra went into the center tent to begin their first challenge. Hektor started to wonder if the contestants from the other teams were starting to play some cruel joke on him during the selection process, because he had to be stuck with two people who hate each other!

"Just so you know, Velandra, you have to be on the bottom, because I am not going to break any of my arms holding up your fat body, okay?" Elvio said to Velandra as he started climbing.

"Hmph. I could say the same about you, chico," Velandra responded as she climbed. Hektor climbed after the two of them, feeling more worried than ever.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

HEKTOR: Aiyaah! Putting up with both Elvio and Velandra is more hectic than a week's worth of all-nighters! I'm just glad I have the one on the top, because let's face it, these arms can barely support even one of these two teammates!

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - CAT CAGES]

Gareth, Nevaeh, and Xev began their challenge in the rightmost tent. Inside three cages lay three sleeping big cats... one a cheetah, one a cougar, and the third a clouded leopard. As you can tell, these types of big cats began with the letter C in honor of the episode's theme. Each of these cages had three cat toys, one green, one red, and one purple. And these three contestants had to stick their hands in there!

"These three cats even have names," Xev observed, as she read the name plates. "How cute... the cheetah is named Candy, the cougar is named Cinnamon, and the clouded leopard is called Cuddles."

Nevaeh was scared. "These cats don't look cuddly to me!"

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

NEVAEH: I seriously have to know what zoo these animals escaped from! They look like they could scratch at any second!

- C -

"So..." Gareth said. "Who's going to do this first?"

"I guess I'll volunteer," Xev said, as she bravely put her hand through the bars of the cougar's cage. Trying hard as she could not to disturb Cinnamon from her catnap, she was able to successfully wrest the purple cat toy inside from the cougar's grasp!

"Yay!" Gareth cheered.

"Nice job!" Nevaeh shouted.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

XEV: I think it must have been the makeup I put on, but I was able to do that challenge with no problem whatsoever! Though my hands will probably end up smelling like catnip for the rest of the day...

- C -

[TEAM BETA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

All three members of Team Beta had made it to the top platform.

"We made it!" said Hektor. "Aiyaah, this thing is so high up!"

"Now, bend down, Velandra, so that the Elvio can get on top of you!" Elvio said to Velandra.

"Why should I do that?" Velandra asked suspiciously.

"Because I want to win this challenge, duh," Elvio responded.

Velandra said nothing and quietly let Elvio on her shoulders.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

VELANDRA: If it were up to me, I'd have thrown the challenge just so that I can get an easy excuse to vote Elvio out and get it over with. But we already had to vote someone out before, and it'd be stupid of me to want to do it again when none of the other teams had done that yet. Elvio's stayin'... for now... but he still don't know he's next!

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

Team Alpha was starting to get the hang of their cannon. Ashlynn and Ross had decided to go with the strategy of hitting the targets in the center row. It seemed to be working, as three of the five targets in that row were lit up already!

Ashlynn adjusted the cannon to hit the target to the right of the center. Ross put the cannonball in the cannon with his strong arms.

"We burnin' up now!" Ross shouted, as Ashlynn lit the fuse. The cannon fired, and the cannonball hit the fourth target in a row. Only the rightmost target in that row remained unlit.

"Four for four, everyone!" Ashlynn cheered.

- C -

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ROSS: Me got a good feelin' 'bout dis challenge, but me nuh t'ink it gon' be dat easy! Dere has to be trick somewhere...

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - CAT CAGES]

"Okay, who's next?" Xev said. Gareth and Nevaeh were still nervous.

"Okay, I guess I'll have to do it," Gareth said, as he put his hand in Candy's cage. Candy was still sleeping, so he carefully and slowly put his hand inside and picked up a purple cat toy that Candy held.

"I've got it!" Gareth shouted.

But Gareth's loud noise apparently woke Candy up, and she began scratching at Gareth's hand. Gareth had to pull his hand out of the cage, however he kept his hand on the cat toy and didn't drop it!

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

GARETH: [with a bandage on his hand] Yep, Candy scratched me. But at least I got the cat toy, so I have to say my luck is definitely improving! Yay!

- C -

[TEAM BETA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

Hektor had finally gotten on top of Elvio's shoulders and now that he was on top, all he had to do was reach the cotton candy that was hanging from the tent's ceiling. He reached a hand out, and he was able to grab it! "Tai hao la!" he said excitedly in Chinese.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

HEKTOR: I was able to calculate the distance from the top of the platform to the ceiling in my head. The ceiling is five meters from the top of the platform. Velandra is 1.3 meters tall, Elvio is 1.5 meters tall, and I am 1.4 meters tall, which means I am .8 meters from the ceiling if all of us stand on top of each other! And it also helps that the cotton candy is attached to a string that's one meter from the ceiling! I just love using math to my advantage!

- C -

Team Beta had gotten the cotton candy... question is, how were they going to get down with it?

"I've got an idea!" said Elvio. "I will hold onto the cotton candy with my teeth!"

"Ew, man, that is sick!" said Velandra, as she started climbing down the ladder by herself.

"Um, I don't know if that's a good idea..." said Hektor, hesitating.

"Well, I don't want to go back to the Bonfire Ceremony for the second time in a row," Elvio said, and before Hektor could do anything, Elvio placed the cotton candy within his teeth, and started climbing down the ladder. Hektor, defeated, climbed down shortly after.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ELVIO: Say what you will, but I so got Team Beta out of last place. They're gonna thank me for this later.

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

The rightmost target in the middle row was finally lit up after a cannonball connected with it. Ashlynn and Ross had completed their challenge!

"We got five in a row!" Ashlynn cheered.

"Dis victory be sweeter dan breadfruit!" Ross whooped.

Suddenly, an intern in a clown outfit came up to them, blew a paper horn, and threw some confetti. He had yellow hair and looked to be about ten years old.

"Congratulations on winning the first part of your challenge! Here is your coin!" he said, and gave Ashlynn and Ross a green coin. "Coin your team win the next challenge?"

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

JIMMY: I am a camper at New Wawanakwa, and when I heard that there was a challenge involving the circus this season, I had to volunteer to be an intern! Maybe one day, I'll be a contestant on Total Drama... *sigh*...

- C -

As soon as Ashlynn and Ross left the tent, Jimmy then set off some smoke bombs that released clouds of green smoke.

"What's that for?" asked Ashlynn.

"That's to make it more challenging for the next team who does this challenge," said Jimmy.

"Oh, makes perfect sense!" Ashlynn said. Then she and Ross ran to tag their teammates, Justus, Francesca, and Odessa, who were waiting outside the Cotton Candy Climb tent.

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - CAT CAGES]

Nevaeh was still nervous. Gareth and Xev had already retrieved cat toys for their team, and now it was just up to her.

"Come on, do it for the team," Xev said to Nevaeh.

"You can do it... um... whatever your name is again," said Gareth.

"It's 'nuh-VEE-uh'," Nevaeh said, as she carefully rolled up her sleeve and bravely put her arm into Cuddles' cage, hoping not to get scratched...

- C -

[TEAM BETA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

Velandra, Elvio (with the cotton candy in his teeth), and Hektor all climbed down the ladder, and Alyssa, in a clown outfit, came over to them and blew a paper horn and threw confetti.

"Congratulations on winning the first part of your challenge! Here is your coin!" she said, and gave the three Team Beta members a red coin.

"Excellent!" Elvio said as he took the cotton candy out of his mouth, and snatched the coin from Alyssa's hand. "I so earned this!"

Velandra just rolled her eyes, while Alyssa wrote something on her notepad.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ALYSSA: Yeah, this clown role is rather childish, but my computer can't pay for itself... so I'm just going to swallow my pride and do whatever Chris asked me to do for the challenge... I never knew he could get so many colored smoke bombs with that much money!

- C -

When Elvio, Velandra, and Hektor left, Justus, Francesca and Odessa arrived. Alyssa threw a red smoke bomb as soon as the three Team Alpha members entered.

"Whoa, girl, what's up with that?" Justus asked as he tried to make his way through the red smoke.

"Yeah, that's to make the challenge more difficult, apparently," Alyssa responded. "Hey, I'm not the one who comes up with these challenges."

"Um, I guess that's fair... sort of." said Odessa.

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - CAT CAGES]

Nevaeh was still hesitant on trying to get a cat toy. Cuddles was eyeing Nevaeh's hand, and licking its lips.

"I can't do it..." Nevaeh said nervously.

Just as soon as she struggled, she saw Payson, Ireland, and Talwen enter the tent.

"They're catching up to us!" Gareth shouted in surprise.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

TALWEN: What's this I see before me? Someone from Team Omega not finishing a challenge yet? At the risk of sounding arrogant, I say we're not going to the Bonfire Ceremony this time around. One time is one time too many.

NEVAEH: As soon as I saw Team Beta enter the tent, I knew that I would let my parents down and my friends at home down if I did not complete this challenge for them. I have never done anything like this before, and I probably won't ever do anything like this again...

- C -

As soon as Talwen put her hand inside Cinnamon's cage to try to retrieve a red cat toy, Nevaeh quickly placed her own hand back inside Cuddles' cage and pulled the purple cat toy out of there.

"You did it!" Xev said, congratulating Nevaeh and patting her on the back.

"Thanks," Nevaeh responded.

Just then, a girl wearing a clown outfit came up to the Team Omega members. She had yellow hair, and was wearing some kind of helmet that looked like a turtle shell.

"Congratulations on winning the first part of your challenge! Here is your coin!" she said, as she gave a purple coin to Gareth, Xev, and Nevaeh. Talwen was stunned by this that she almost dropped the red cat toy she pulled out of Cinnamon's cage, but quickly grasped it to prevent it from dropping, and pulled it out of there just in time!

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ELEANOR: Me and Jimmy are big Total Drama fans, and I became an intern because I know there are a lot of animal challenges on the show! I'm hoping that Chris lets me stay for the challenges involving the letter F... my ferrets would love some screentime!

- C -

Just then, Eleanor, like the other interns, pulled out a purple smoke bomb and filled the tent with purple smoke. "Okay, we need to move it!" Xev said, as she, Gareth, and Nevaeh went out of the tent to tag their teammates. Meanwhile, Cinnamon looked at Xev's face, and then started to take out some black-and-white makeup and apply it all over its own face while Payson, Ireland and Talwen were mesmerized by the purple smoke.

"I'm not even going to ask," Talwen said while laughing.

- C -

Blaine, Desirae, and York were outside the Cannonball Connect Five challenge waiting to be tagged. They saw Gareth, Nevaeh and Xev running toward them, and holding their purple coin.

"That cat challenge must have been really tough!" Blaine said to them.

"Tell me about it!" Xev replied. "Do you know what it's like having to deal with a cougar?"

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: Yep, I know full well what it's like having to deal with a cougar... because I live with one! And yes, Blaineley, I can call you a cougar, because, let's face it. You're old. Really, really, old. There, I said it. And I hope you don't end up with any of the guys you go after.

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

Justus, Francesca and Odessa were still climbing their ladder, or at least trying to make out the shape of a ladder through the red smoke weaving its way throughout the tent.

"Man, how high is this thing, anyway?" Justus said.

"I don't care how tall it is, I can take it," Francesca said as she scaled the ladder confidently. "I go rock climbing on the weekends, so a simple ladder shouldn't be a problem for me!"

"Girl, you good," Justus said, impressed.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

FRANCESCA: You have to do better than that, McClean! These early challenges are easy-peasy!

- C -

[TEAM BETA - CAT CAGES]

The purple smoke was making it a bit more difficult for Payson and Ireland to retrieve their cat toys, let alone see where they are.

"Yo, yo, yo, it's purple and hazy, and it's really, really crazy!" Payson said.

"If it's any consolation, I'll just tell you that I got mine in advance," Talwen said.

"I guess we'll have to make do," Ireland replied, as she quietly put her hand in Cuddles' cage.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: I hope Chris didn't put anything in that smoke that pollutes the ozone layer or whatever! And I really hope it didn't do anything to those poor kitties... and if it did, I bet this is the reason why they're mad!

- C -

Ireland successfully retrieved a red cat toy for her team before Cuddles could scratch her.

"I guess I did it!" Ireland beamed.

"We gonna be first, yo!" said Payson confidently.

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

The green smoke proved to be quite a distraction as Blaine, Desirae and York entered the left tent. All these three had to do was hit five targets in a row with cannonballs. Perhaps with an extra member compared to the group of two from Team Alpha, they'd have better help lifting those heavy things.

Blaine and Desirae decided to pick up one of the heavy cannonballs together. "Dang, this thing weigh a lot!" Desirae observed, and then rolled the cannonball into the barrel.

"Okay, let's aim it at that center one first!" Blaine said, and York and Desirae adjusted the cannon, hoping it was aimed correctly at the target at the center.

"We're lighting this!" York said, as she lit the fuse. The cannon fired, and the cannonball hit the target that was just below the one in the center.

"Not bad," Blaine said. "We can make a vertical line going down the middle!"

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: I'm worried that the other two teams could be far ahead of us right now, so I'm crossing my fingers that the other team members were either eaten by the big cats or they fell off the high platform and injured themselves when they decided to jump off rather than use the ladder. And now I'm starting to turn into Chris... what's wrong with me?

- C -

[TEAM BETA - CAT CAGES]

It was just down to Payson for Team Beta, and all he had to was retrieve the red cat toy from Candy's cage. Though Candy put up a bit of a fight, and was about to claw at him, Payson dodged her swipes, and quickly retrieved the cat toy when he waited for an opening.

"Yay-uh!" Payson shouted. Eleanor tooted her paper horn and threw confetti at Payson, Talwen and Ireland.

"You've won the second challenge! Here's your coin!" Eleanor said, as she gave the three Team Beta members a red coin.

"Yo yo yo, only one more to go!" Payson whooped.

"We're still in this!" Talwen said, as she, Ireland and Payson exited the tent.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

PAYSON: We used to be worst, but now we first! Raise the roof, the party's just begun, Team Beta's on the road to bein' number one! Word up!

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

Justus, Francesca and Odessa have made their way through the red smoke and reached the top of the platform. "Okay, here's the big question, y'all," Justus said. "Which of us gots to be on the bottom?"

"I guess I'll volunteer," Odessa said, as she hunched down, waiting for someone to climb up on top of her.

"I'm gonna catch the cotton candy," Francesca said. "Justus, will you get on Odessa's shoulders?"

"Yeah, a'ight, girl," Justus said, as she got on top of Odessa's shoulders. Odessa became nervous as Francesca climbed onto both her and Justus.

"Whoa, girl, how much muscle you put on there?" Justus said.

Francesca made her way onto Justus' shoulders. "Giddyap!" Francesca said, as Odessa stood up to raise her.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

JUSTUS: I gotta give the girl props. As long as we have her winning these challenges for us, ain't my butt gon' be on the line! Though it would've been bad for me if she wore cleats... those things can hurt, y'all.

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

Blaine, Desirae and York were starting to catch up. The center target and the target below it have been lit up. And now they were aiming at the middle target on the second row (which can be difficult to do in the green smoke). York lit the fuse, the cannon fired and... it missed, and went through the space between the middle target on the second row, and the target in the exact center.

"Dang! So close!" Desirae said.

As soon as Desirae and Blaine were about to get another cannonball, they noticed that Unique and Ward had entered the tent.

"YEEEAH!" Ward shouted. "Team Beta will be invincible!" He immediately rushed toward the cannonballs on his team's side, and had no problem lifting up a heavy cannonball due to his strong arms.

York fumed as she saw Ward loading Team Beta's cannon.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: With all these weak people on my team taking their sweet time and letting other teams pass us, we are guaranteed to lose the challenge and now we have to sit through a sucky Bonfire Ceremony! So I had to do something about it!

- C -

York picked up a cannonball, and... instead of putting it in her team's cannon, she rolled it toward Team Beta's cannon! It dented the cannon quite a bit, and broke the platform the cannon was on. The cannon fell onto the ground, and could not reach any of Team Beta's targets in its current state. "Strike!" York shouted.

Unique and Ward were wondering what to do.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: GRRRR! I cannot believe that girl York... she makes me ANGRY! [He rips his sweater off.] She is gonna pay!

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

Francesca had just reached her hand out to grab the cotton candy on the ceiling. Instantly, it connected.

"Now how are we gonna get that down with us?" Odessa asked.

Francesca threw the cotton candy on the ground.

"Problem solved!" Francesca said. "Race ya!" Then she quickly climbed down the ladder and Justus went after her, followed by Odessa.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ODESSA: I admit it, Francesca is such a useful asset to our team! I don't think we'd have won the challenge without her! This is my sign for her! [She makes the sign for the letter F on both of her hands, and she holds them high up in the air.] Eeeeeee!

- C -

[TEAMS BETA & OMEGA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

Blaine, Desirae and York were still getting there. The top four targets in the middle column were lit, and all they needed to do was hit the bottommost target in that column. However, Unique and Ward were still worried about what to do with their own cannon. There were no nearby boxes or anything to put the cannon on, so it would be really difficult.

"Wait, I think I have an idea!" Unique said. "Ward, you lifted that cannonball, right?"

"Yeah, that was lighter than I thought it would be," Ward said.

"Well... can you lift that cannon?" Unique said with a flirty look in her eyes.

"I'll try..." Ward said. Amazingly enough, his strong arms were able to lift up that cannon. This amazed Blaine and Desirae as they were picking up a cannonball on their team.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: Daaaaaaang! That boy sure got some muscle!

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

After Francesca, Justus and Odessa climbed down the ladder, Francesca picked up the cotton candy off the ground. Alyssa tooted her paper horn and threw confetti at them.

"You've won the second challenge! Here's your coin!" Alyssa said, as she gave the three Team Alpha members a green coin.

"Yay!" Odessa cheered while clapping her hands. "Only one more to go, we can do this!"

- C -

[TEAMS BETA & OMEGA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

As soon as Ward lifted up the cannon, he aimed it at the center target. Unique lit the fuse, and the cannonball connected, and the center target lit up red.

"Yes!" Unique said.

However, York lit the fuse on her team's cannon, and it hit the middle target in the bottommost row. Team Omega was back in this!

"We did it!" Blaine said.

Jimmy then tooted his paper horn and threw confetti at the Team Omega members. "You've won the second challenge! Here's your coin!" he said, as he gave them a purple coin.

"We need to hurry!" York said, as she, Blaine and Desirae left the tent to tag the remaining Team Omega members.

Just then, Jimmy threw a purple smoke bomb, filling the tent with purple smoke. This, combined with the green smoke, made things even more difficult for Team Beta than they already were.

"Great..." Unique said.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: Chris really knows how to save the most difficult part of the challenge for the end... he just loves his drama, doesn't he?

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - CAT CAGES]

As soon as Morganne, Zakeri and Quillon entered the rightmost tent, Eleanor threw a red smoke bomb, which made red smoke, and the red and purple smoke made it really difficult for Team Alpha to even see the cat toys they were supposed to pick up.

However, even through the colored smoke, they could still manage to see the black-and-white makeup on Cinnamon's face. "I see Xev was here," Morganne observed.

"So I guess this one is first then, ese," Quillon said, as he put his hand into Cinnamon's cage. Cinnamon put up quite a bit of a fight, but Quillon retrieved the green cat toy inside without a scratch!

"Orale!" Quillon shouted.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

QUILLON: Just because that puma wears makeup on the outside, it couldn't hide what a slowpoke it was on the inside, man!

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

Connor, Kieran and Luna, being the three remaining Team Omega members by default, went into the center tent. They were greeted by Alyssa, who threw a green smoke bomb, and the green smoke and red smoke virtually engulfed the tent.

"Woo!" shouted Luna. "Red and green! It's like Christmas!"

"Yeah, it's like Christmas," said Connor. "But we've got a challenge to win!" And he started climbing up the ladder. Luna quickly went up after him, followed by Kieran.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: I'm pretty sure our team's in last place by now, and only a miracle would let us beat at least one other team. Not that I would wish bad luck on anyone, though, I'm just throwing that out there.

- C -

[TEAM BETA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

With Ward holding the cannon for his team, Unique had to pick up the cannonballs by herself. "Thank you, York, for ruining these hands of mine," Unique said under her breath as she rolled the cannonball into the barrel.

"Okay, that target on the top-right?" Ward said, moving the cannon toward said target.

"You got it!" Unique replied. She lit the fuse, and the cannonball connected!

"Right on!" Ward said.

"I don't know how you aimed it at the right location," Unique said.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: Um... don't tell anyone I told you this... but last night... I sort of heard Hektor talking about physics stuff in his sleep. I think I may have gotten those calculations from there.

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - CAT CAGES]

Zakeri had volunteered to go next. He put his hand in Candy's cage, and the cheetah may have been swift, but he was no match against Zakeri's also fast hand.

"Behold!" Zakeri said, as he showed the second green cat toy to Morganne and Quillon.

"Wow, that's impressive!" Morganne beamed.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ZAKERI: At the risk of making an incredibly lame pun, I just have to say it... ...cheetahs never win!

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

"Cotton candy!" Luna shouted excitedly as she, Connor and Kieran reached the top platform.

"So I guess she's going to be the one on top, obviously," Kieran said.

"I'll get on your shoulders, then!" Connor said to Kieran.

"Okay, whatever," Kieran said coldly, as he quietly let Connor onto his shoulders. Luna quickly jumped on top of Connor after Kieran did this.

"Where does that girl get all that energy?" Connor wondered.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

KIERAN: I would say something here, but nothing that comes out of my mouth could possibly even begin to accurately describe Luna!

- C -

[TEAM BETA - CANNONBALL CONNECT FIVE]

Team Beta already had lit up four targets in the diagonal row running from the top-right to the bottom-left. They just had to hit the target in the bottom-left, though, and they would be done.

As soon as Ward aimed the cannon at the target, and Unique lit the fuse, the cannonball connected!

"Yes!" Unique shouted in excitement!

Jimmy tooted his paper horn and threw confetti. "You've won the third and final challenge! Here's your coin!" he said, and gave Unique and Ward a coin.

"YEAH!" Ward shouted, as he dropped the cannon, and it accidentally hit Jimmy's foot.

"Ow!" Jimmy said.

"Heh..." Ward said, embarrassed. "Guess I don't know my own strength..."

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - CAT CAGES]

It was up to Morganne. She now had to be the one who would retrieve the green cat toy from Cuddles' cage.

"Cuddles..." Morganne muttered under her breath. "What an ironic name..."

She nervously edged her hand toward the clouded leopard, hoping the cat would not bite her hand off.

- C -

Unique and Ward emerged from their tent with the third red coin.

"Team Beta wins invincibility!" Chris said, and all eight members of Team Beta cheered.

"All right, Luxury Cabin at last!" Velandra said, excited.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: YEEEEEEAH! First place, baby! I did it! Yeah! Skyler, this victory is for you, bro!

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

Luna had just grabbed the cotton candy that was on the ceiling. "Cotton candy... I has it!" Luna said, as she quickly climbed down both Kieran and Connor.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

LUNA: I love cotton candy... I love it so much I want to marry it. But it's a shame that I can't... for all I know, the cotton candy might have been married already!

- C -

[TEAM ALPHA - CAT CAGES]

Morganne had reached her hand out, and picked up the green cat toy. Just as Cuddles was about to swipe and her hand, Morganne successfully retrieved it without a scratch!

"Phew," Morganne said, relieved.

Eleanor tooted her paper horn and threw confetti. "You've won the third and final challenge! Here's your coin!" she said, and gave Morganne, Quillon and Zakeri a green coin.

"Totally worth it, ese!" Quillon said.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

MORGANNE: Wouldn't it be really weird right now if, say, Team Omega were just finishing their challenge at the same time we finished ours? Because it would give the editing crew such an interesting task to edit!

- C -

[TEAM OMEGA - COTTON CANDY CLIMB]

At just about the exact same time Team Alpha finished their challenge, Connor, Kieran and Luna climbed down their platform with the cotton candy! In response, Alyssa tooted her paper horn and threw some confetti!

"You've won the third and final challenge! Here's your coin!" Alyssa said, and gave Connor, Luna and Kieran a purple coin.

"We've gotta move it!" Kieran said, as he, Connor, and Luna ran out of the tent.

- C -

Chris was eyeing both the center and rightmost tents. The two teams inside seem to have completed their tasks at the exact same time, but only one team would emerge first.

It was...

...the team emerging from the rightmost tent!

"Team Alpha, you've also won invincibility!" Chris said to Morganne, Quillon and Zakeri.

The eight Team Alpha members were relieved that they would not vote out one of their own for a while.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

JUSTUS: When I found out that we won just seconds before Team Omega, my heart was poundin'. We coulda lost, and they'd have nine, and we'd have seven. But I'm glad that ain't happenin'!

- C -

Just as soon as Chris congratulated Team Alpha, Connor, Kieran and Luna exited the center tent.

"Oh, bad news, Team Omega, you came in last!" Chris said. "Enjoy your last day with nine team members, because you're gonna be getting rid of one!" Chris then threw some confetti and blew his paper horn so loud in the Team Omega members' ears that they had to cover them.

"I really think you're goin' overboard, man," Chef said to Chris.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: We lost because we have some really weak players on our team! Shocker! But who should I get rid of to make our team suck less?

NEVAEH: I think that our team's loss may have been my fault... I took a long time with my challenge, and I think that may have cost our team. I don't want to go home this early... I really don't.

- C -

Nevaeh in particular was really hit hard by Team Omega's loss. While everyone else on the team had moved their things into the Loser Cabin, Nevaeh was just sitting outside, crying, holding her head in her hands.

Connor went over to console her. "It's okay," Connor said. "You did your best."

"I let the team down," Nevaeh said. "It's my fault."

Nevaeh cried, and Connor went over to her and patted her back.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: Nevaeh... I said her name right this time, right? Anyway, she thinks she is the one responsible for our loss... I really like her, and I don't want her to leave yet. I don't know what to do...

- C -

Meanwhile, York was overhearing a conversation Blaine, Desirae, and Xev were having.

"I don't know if this environment is right for Nevaeh," Xev said. "Perhaps she should be the target tonight."

"Sho' makes things easier for us, hon'," Desirae said.

"Plus, we won't have to keep mispronouncing her name!" Blaine said, while Desirae and Xev laughed.

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

XEV: It seems like Nevaeh seems to be the name everyone on our team is talking about... mostly because a lot of us have finally been able to say it correctly! I would be really surprised if it was anyone other than her, though!

- C -

After York overheard the conversation, she went over to Connor and Nevaeh.

"So, Nevaeh," York said with a grin on her face. "It seems a lot of people are targeting you, right?"

"Yes..." Nevaeh said, with her face still in her hands.

York patted Nevaeh on the back. "I think there might be some way to save you..."

- C -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The nine Team Omega members were sitting on stumps, awaiting the results of the vote-off. Chris was there holding a box of cookies.

"Campers," Chris began. "See this box of cookies? Yeah, there are eight of them. If you see the cookie that's shaped like the first letter of your name, you are safe. If you don't, your first exposure to the next challenge will be when you have to watch it on TV at home!"

Chris opened the box of cookies, and pulled out a cookie shaped like the letter B. "Blaine, you're safe!" Blaine caught the cookie Chris threw at him.

The next cookie Chris pulled out was shaped like the letter K. "Kieran, you're safe too!" Kieran caught the cookie coldly.

The third cookie was shaped like the letter Y. "York, you're safe!" York caught her cookie.

The fourth cookie Chris pulled out was shaped like the letter L. "Luna, so are you!" Luna excitedly caught her cookie. "Yay!" she screamed.

The fifth cookie to emerge from the box resembled the letter C. "Connor, you're safe!" Connor caught his cookie.

The sixth cookie looked like the letter G. "Wow, Gareth, you're safe too!" Gareth excitedly caught his cookie.

The seventh cookie bore resemblance to the letter D. "Desirae, you're also safe!" The cookie was thrown to Desirae, who caught it.

It was just down to Xev and Nevaeh, who were both nervously awaiting the final outcome.

"The final cookie goes to..."

Nevaeh and Xev held each others' hands, knowing that this would be the last day they would spent at New Wawanakwa...

- A -

- B -

- C -

- D -

- E -

- F -

- G -

- H -

- I -

- J -

- K -

- L -

- M -

- N -

- O -

- P -

- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

"Um..." Chris said, holding up the cookie shaped like the letter N. "How do you pronounce your name again, N girl?"

"It's pronounced 'nuh-VEE-uh', and thanks!" Nevaeh said, as she excitedly took the N-shaped cookie from Chris' hand.

Xev just stood in shock. "How could this have happened?"

- C -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: Ha! This is what you get for making an alliance behind my back, Miss Crazy Hair! Your crazy fashion choices will not be missed!

- C -

As soon as Xev was about to board the Boat of Losers, the rest of Team Omega was waiting for her. Suddenly, Cinnamon, still wearing the black-and-white clown make up, began licking her face!

"Ooh, stop that, that tickles!" Xev said, laughing while Cinnamon licked her face. Xev then began rubbing Cinnamon's tummy, and Cinnamon purred.

"Aw, how sweet," Nevaeh said.

"She's like a little kitty!" Luna said excitedly.

Cinnamon then lowered her back, and Xev climbed onto it. "To Playa de Losers!" Xev said, as she rode Cinnamon onto the Boat of Losers.

"Oh, I see Xev's made a new friend," Chris said, facing the camera. "But some friendships never last on this show! The cougar will probably end up being into guys, anyway. Who will be dumped next time, on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY:

Xev (5) - Connor, Gareth, Luna, Nevaeh, York

Nevaeh (4) - Blaine, Desirae, Kieran, Xev

Episode 4: "D" Day

Chris walked onto the Dock of Shame to address the viewers once again. "Last time, on Total Drama Alpharama..."

A mishmash of events from Episode 3 was presented to the viewers, with Chris narrating:

"It was definitely a circus on the last episode... there were clowns, death-defying feats, and thrills and chills that definitely kept you on the edge of your seat! And I haven't even gotten to the challenge yet! It was a three-ring spectacle that brought out the strongman in Ward and inspired a circus cat to get a makeover! In the end, Teams Beta and Alpha soared, while Team Omega crashed and burned! It was Xev who ended up getting the boot after York caught wind of a possible alliance between several of her teammates and some members of Team Alpha! Which brings up this question: is any five-person alliance safe this season?"

We rejoin Chris on the Dock of Shame.

"24 contestants remain! That's a dozen guys, and a dozen girls! Today's episode will put the D in 'Drama', so stay tuned for the fourth episode of Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"

- A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

[TEAM BETA - LUXURY CABIN]

Well, what do you know? The Luxury Cabin had been waiting a good two days before the members of Team Beta would finally be allowed to enter! And live it up the group of eight did, as they played video games (the cabin had a brand new plasma screen TV to replace the old one), drank soda from the vending machines, and basically lounged around and chatted.

And since the team still seems to be divided among gender lines (for now, at least), we have the four guys - Elvio, Hektor, Payson and Ward - in one group sitting on a sofa playing their video game, while the four girls - Ireland, Talwen, Unique, and Velandra - were sitting at a table chatting.

- D -

The guys were playing a yet-to-be-released Total Drama party game in which they were playing as former Total Drama contestants, and they had to participate in challenges pretty much like the ones on the actual show. Ward was playing as Owen, Elvio played as Justin, Payson played as Ezekiel and Hektor's character was Harold!

Ward's character Owen unsurprisingly owned the other three in an eating challenge, while Hektor shocked everyone in the obstacle course challenge by putting to use every single one of Harold's mad skillz. Elvio got high points in the talent competition even though his character, Justin, is pretty much a one-note contestant who does nothing but stand around and look pretty. Payson surprised the other four when his character, Ezekiel, actually beat the other three in a recreation of the hot-tub-building challenge from the first season!

"Check it out, yo!" Payson said, as he boasted about his challenge victory.

"Wow, you're really good at this game, bro!" Ward said.

"All the playas in my 'hood are good at gamin', yo!" Payson said. "It has to be said to maintain my street cred!"

- D -

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PAYSON: I'ma give a shout-out to my peeps in the 'hood, and now that I'm in first place, it feels so good! This is one sweet pad, and I wanted to be in it so bad, and now that I'm in it, I'm glad! And if you hate, then too bad!

HEKTOR: Gong-gong... po-po... your grandson is now on the winning team! My percentage of winning this competition just increased from 4% to 4.16%! I can't wait until four more people get voted off, then my percentage of winning will be a whole number again! ...Which is 5%, which is when there are 20 people remaining, just in case there are some people out there who aren't as math-obsessed as I am.

ELVIO: About freakin' time this cabin acknowledged who the real winner is! That's right... the Elvio is going to spend his first night here, and I am going to win the next set of challenges and make this place my permanent home for the next few weeks! And besides, [he flexes his muscles] never before has the cabin been exposed to this much sexy!

WARD: The Luxury Cabin ROCKS, bro! This place reminds me of where we Breakers would have one of our killer pizza parties whenever we won a game! And it's got a pool table, a hot tub, some vending machines... only thing missing is my friend Rico and his hot mom! Yep... good times.

- D -

While the guys were gaming, the girls were chatting away at one of the tables. Relieved that they were in first place for the first time, they sipped on some sodas from the vending machine.

"Girl, we've earned this cabin!" Velandra said in excitement. "If I had to spend like the next two or three weeks having to be in either second or third place, I would not know what to do!"

"I can tell the boys are excited too!" Unique said, motioning toward the boys who were just whooping it up while competing in a virtual badminton challenge. "And with the hot tub, I have my own way of dealing with them tonight..." She winked.

"This cat definitely has claws!" Talwen said, making a cat clawing motion with her hands.

- D -

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VELANDRA: Well, I'm finally in the Luxury Cabin - NO THANKS TO YOU, SKYLER! We girls got rid of what was keeping us from this place... and if one of my teammates acts stupid and keeps me from coming back here, like Elvio for instance... but then again, when does Elvio not act stupid, am I right?... then I'ma vote them outta here.

TALWEN: Personally, I don't like this place. The walls are bright white, everything is too comfortable, there are potted plants everywhere, and it isn't run-down and derelict like the last cabins were. [smiles and laughs] You didn't actually believe a word of what I just said, did you? Good. I thought so. In all honesty, though, this cabin is a dream.

IRELAND: Oh my gosh... the Luxury Cabin is like a gift from heaven! And I'm hoping the devices in the cabin are eco-friendly, then it would really be a place worth going back to! But knowing Chris, that probably won't happen... but then again, I've gotta live with what I was given. And I'm glad I was given this!

UNIQUE: That hot tub... now that we're in the Luxury Cabin, the guys are going to want to go there tonight. So I will gladly humor them by just being myself.

- D -

Later that night, after the guys had gamed out, they were standing in their swim trunks and headed toward the hot tub room. Unique was relaxing there, in her bikini.

"So, this is a killer hot tub!" Elvio said. "Nice!"

"This is even better than the hot tub the Screaming Gophers made back in Season 1, if that were possible!" Unique laughed at her joke.

"You know what would be awesome?" Ward said. "Is if someone formed a showmance with you! It could be any one of us, or any of the other guys here!"

"A showmance?" Unique said, feigning innocence. "What's that?"

After a long pause, Unique and the guys laughed.

- D -

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UNIQUE: I can tell with the looks on these guys' faces that they are going to want to keep me in the game! All I can say in advance is, thanks for the million dollars, guys! [winks]

ELVIO: A sweet cabin... an awesome babe in the hot tub... yep, this day keeps getting better and better for moi! And I like that my presence made the hot tub moment a lot sexier!

- D -

[TEAM ALPHA - DUO CABINS - BOYS' CABIN]

For the first time, Team Alpha had to sleep somewhere other than the Luxury Cabin. Fortunately for them, it was the Duo Cabins, where they retained their numbers. The boys - Justus, Quillon, Ross, and Zakeri - were packing their things into their new home.

"We still strong at eight, baby!" Justus cheered, while giving Ross a high-five.

"You know it, mon!" Ross cheered back.

"It may not have those cushy sofas or that awesome hot tub, but eh... I can manage, ese," Quillon said.

"Indeed," Zakeri said, doing meditation exercises while in the lotus position. "Despite our disadvantage in numbers earlier, we are catching up with them, and if we maintain our momentum, we can have the advantage over them!"

"Tru dat, playa!" Justus replied.

- D -

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JUSTUS: Bring it, Teams Beta and Omega! We took out a member from each of your teams before, we can do it again, y'all! When one of you loses another member, y'all can run and tell that! ...Dang, I seem to be turnin' into Lightning...

ZAKERI: It may not be the paradise that was the Luxury Cabin, but I can't argue with the rusticity of our current cabin. I can sense the positive chi that flows through here... hopefully the second-place cabin is the lowest-ranking cabin we'll sleep in all season!

ROSS: Mon, me woulda loved to stay in de Luxury Cabin, but me nuh worry. Second place still irie... at dis point in de game, at least. But as de numba's dwindle down, game come to point where me nuh longer settle for second. Me hopin' it happen later rather dan sooner!

QUILLON: Okay, Team Beta may have taken our sweet casa from us, but we're gonna get it back next time. And with a team of some of the coolest vatos I have ever met, Team Alpha is gonna rise back to the top, homes!

- D -

[TEAM ALPHA - DUO CABINS - GIRLS' CABIN]

The girls from Team Alpha - who of course were Ashlynn, Francesca, Morganne and Odessa - started moving into their new sleeping quarters as well.

"Well, we pulled off another challenge victory!" Francesca said.

"Yeah, barely!" Morganne responded. "I have both of my hands intact, yay!"

"Glad I didn't have to do that challenge you did," Odessa said. "I need both of my hands for signing, you know!"

"We're the only team not to have lost anyone yet," Ashlynn observed, as she fluffed a pillow on her new bed. "Let's see how long it lasts!"

- D -

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ASHLYNN: When I saw that Xev did not return from the Bonfire Ceremony last night, I was like, OMG. Morganne and I had formed a good alliance with some of the Team Omega members... she was a nice girl who was fun to talk to, and I really liked her hair! I wonder what happened!

MORGANNE: Yeah, the last vote-off took me by surprise too. I may have to rethink my alliance strategy now... I guess I'd better start recruiting some people from this team, too, so that I don't become the first one voted off from my team! ...Oh my gosh, what have I turned into? I'm becoming a strategybot like Skyler... and I don't want to be like Skyler!

ODESSA: It seems that this early in the game, alliances are forming all over the place! I'd like to be in a really big one... that way handicapped people like me can feel included!

FRANCESCA: I've never lost my last ten baseball games... I will not lose these next few challenges. Of course, I haven't even done these challenges yet... but I'm feeling confident that I can win at them. I'd love to see an eight-person team make the merge this season, and it would be awesome if my team was that eight-person team!

- D -

[TEAM OMEGA - LOSER CABIN]

The Loser Cabin, if it could speak, would laugh in Team Omega's face after the team had lost another challenge... and would laugh further in its face after the team had finally lost one of its members.

The cabin was really crowded with eight members - okay, make that seven, since Kieran had left the group to go sleep outside again.

"I really do not want to sleep here again," York muttered under her breath, as she tried to fall asleep.

- D -

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YORK: Team High School is living it up in the cabin I really miss, and I bet Team Kumbaya is holding hands and singing happily about the fact that they don't have to sleep in this dump of a cabin! If there was a team swap right now, I would gladly jump at the chance! I'd like to be on a team with people who actually know how to play this game, people who are good at winning! But no, I'm stuck with Thing 1 and Thing 2 for alliance partners!

GARETH: The Bonfire Ceremony went great, and my name hasn't even come up for elimination once! My luck keeps on improving, and if this keeps up, I could win the whole thing! [A mosquito flies over to Gareth, and starts biting his arm.] OW! That smarts!

LUNA: Yay, Awesomesauce Alliance! This alliance is so going to make the final three, and when it does, I'll bring out the confetti! Question is... does anyone here have any confetti?

- D -

York wasn't the only one who had trouble sleeping. Desirae and Blaine were tossing and turning in their beds, reeling from the blindside at the last Bonfire Ceremony.

- D -

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DESIRAE: Dang, y'all, this sista just lost one of her alliance partners, and funk definitely went down tonight! Someone here be trippin', and I've been thinkin' of callin' out everyone on my team onto the dance floor to settle the score! But I'ma save that till later, since I need my footwork for the challenge tomorrow. I assume it's a dancin' challenge since "dancin'" starts with the letter D, if Chris keeps it up with his crazy theme!

BLAINE: I never expected Xev of all people would be a target tonight, and I've gotta be extra careful. I could be next! I could just see the tabloids now, "The O'Hallorans - The Reality TV Family Who Sucks At Total Drama!" That is one scandalous headline I would not like to see printed!

- D -

Connor and Nevaeh were having a better time sleeping. Nevaeh was sleeping with her eyes closed in the lower bunk, while holding Connor's extended hand, while he was sleeping in the top bunk.

- D -

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NEVAEH: I was saved last night... it was a miracle. Connor told me he pulled through for me, and I feel like I've connected with him more as the day went on. He's so dreamy!

CONNOR: I expected Nevaeh and I to be the only two votes that were to save her. But three more people voted with us... We came in this game expecting to be outcasts... turns out that there are other people who are just like me! Except not with a lot of money, of course.

- D -

And Kieran, of course, broke off from the group again, and found his own place to sleep again, which is at the top of another tall tree. He sighed, and looked at the stars through the leaves.

- D -

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KIERAN: I'm normally a go-with-the-flow kind of dude, but the vote last night was one I didn't get. I may have to one day, you know, socialize with these weirdos... but as long as I'm not a target yet, they will be too busy picking each other off to focus on me. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go back to saving my strength for the challenge. See you later. [He leaves.]

- D -

- DAY 4 -

[MESS HALL]

It was a bright and sunny day for the twenty-four remaining campers. A delightful breakfast of dates, Danishes, and diet juice awaited the campers, and it was to die for!

The teams of eight sat at their respectable seating locations, while eating and basically chatting amongst themselves.

- D -

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NEVAEH: I'm a bit nervous about these challenges. The D one is up next, right? Well, judging by how extreme these challenges were, I wouldn't be surprised if the D stood for "Death"! They'd probably kill one of us on international TV, and that would scare me!

ROSS: You know dere gon' be a twist somewhere where Chris would just love to break up de harmony of Team Alpha. Nice try, mon, but nuh yet! Eight people from Team Alpha will survive de next episode, and de Rasta be among dem! [He spins his volleyball.]

- D -

Chris' voice penetrated the P.A. system and greeted the campers. "Campers... yeah, I know you've had to put up with each other for like three days, right? Well, you'll have plenty of time to get to know each other today! Are you D-lighted about the next challenge?" Chris then laughed, and the group resumed eating.

- D -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

Chris greeted the 24 contestants at Challenge Field. He was wearing a fancy tuxedo, while Chef stood next to him dressed as Cupid. Alyssa was also there, with her notepad, just sitting back and quietly observing everything for her next issue. There were little pink heart symbols everywhere and there seemed to be a group of twelve boats shaped like ducks... four ducks for each of the three teams, as you can tell by the fact that they're colored green, red, and purple. It seemed to be like a makeshift Tunnel of Love that was composed for this challenge alone.

"It is a delightful day to see all of you teens!" Chris said to the contestants. "Since there are twenty-four of you left, I take it that some of you have hooked up during these past three days, am I correct?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no," Unique said. "But you'll just have to see!"

"Well, for this challenge, all of you are going to be hooking up eventually, because for this challenge..." Chris holds up a letter D. "...D is for Dating!"

Several of the contestants were shocked, while some were excited.

- D -

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GARETH: Finally! A dating challenge! This means I could actually get lucky and be with a girl for a change! Yes! Bring it on, Chris!

ASHLYNN: A dating challenge? This early? I think Chris is taking advantage of the fact that there are four guys and four girls on each team, and he's forcing us to form showmances! Doesn't he know I have a boyfriend? ...Oh, that's right, I guess I never told you about him before now. Well, Rafael is, like, kind of my boyfriend, he says he sees me as the person I am, but whenever he talks to me, he always looks at what's below my neck. I haven't told him yet that I might be interested in other people. ...He's not seeing this, is he?

- D -

"This challenge is called Dream Date Dozen, and all of you single guys will get to score with the girl of your dreams, since she happens to be on your own team!" Chris explained. "There will be four couples on each team, and you will all go on a date... and everything you do on that date will be brought to you by the letter D, of course! What did you think this season was?"

"I see you've probably noticed the duck boats there... because after all, D is for duck... aren't they so cute? Plus, they look realistic enough that real ducks won't know the diff!"

Just as soon as Chris said all this, a duck swam over to one of the green duck boats, looked at it very close, and then its eyes turned to heart symbols. The duck began hugging the boat with its own wings.

This caused several of the contestants to laugh like crazy.

- D -

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LUNA: Admit it. When you saw that, you were all like, "Aw, isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?" My guess is... they're getting married sometime soon! And they will have the cutest little baby ducklings... or baby duck boats or whatever they're called! In any case, they'll be so cute!

- D -

"Anyhoo, these boats will lead you to four doors, each one containing a challenge that one of the couples must participate in! And to D-termine which couple will be doing which challenge, D is for Drawing numbers!" Chef handed out six bags of marbles, two for each of the teams. "Each bag contains four marbles, one bag for the guys and one bag for the girls. The person of the opposite gender who draws the same number as you do will be your teammate for the challenge... and hopefully your dream date, wink wink!" Chris said, while he winked at the contestants.

- D -

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BLAINE: Seriously, Chris, please stop doing that. It's really creeping me out, dude.

- D -

The twenty-four teens drew marbles from their bags. In an instant, twelve new "couples" were formed for the challenge. Some contestants were satisfied with their teammates, while others wished they had different partners.

"And thus, love is born!" Chris said. "Team Alpha, the couple doing Challenge 1 is... Ross and Francesca! Challenge 2 will be done by Zakeri and Morganne, Challenge 3 will be attempted by Justus and Ashlynn, while the lovely couple doing Challenge 4 is Quillon and Odessa! I bet they'll be so happy together!"

- D -

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ROSS: Mon, me partna' be de oomon dat me keep losin' to in arm wrestling, t'umb wrestling, tic-tac-toe, charades, hangmon...

FRANCESCA: I swear, some men will never be truly satisfied unless they actually beat me in something. I haven't found one of them yet, but maybe Rasta could do it... that is, if he actually tries hard enough! ...Which he probably will.

ROSS: ...checka's, Chinese checka's, Yahtzee...

ZAKERI: I guess Morganne the Reality Fan is my teammate. She's been staring at my tattoos the entire time that I've been out here... I know people like dragons, but I didn't know she liked them this much!

MORGANNE: Those dragon tats are going to be some great wallpaper for my new blog when this show is over! Imagine the hits! I'm thinking the six... no, seven-digit range!

ROSS: ...table tennis, billiards, Connect Four...

JUSTUS: I ain't normally into white girls, but Ashlynn seems a'ight. For now. She's been into me a lot lately...

ASHLYNN: Justus reminds me a lot of Rafael, mostly because... okay, I admit it, Rafael is black, just like Justus. But Justus isn't as into me as Rafael is... so this is going to be one awkward date... [sighs]

ROSS: ...Scatta'gories, Trivial Pursuit...

QUILLON: Yep. I get Odessa for a partner, ese. I am muy into her, man, but she seems nervous...

ODESSA: Oh my gosh, Quillon's my date, eeee! ...But I am worried about my challenge. What if it's listening to romantic music? I'm not really good in that kind of area...

ROSS: ...and "Muskoka Minor Leaguers"! Me could just go on all day... but me have to work wit' de cards me been dealt.

- D -

"And if you thought Team Alpha was a lovefest, wait till you see the smoochers on Team Beta!" Chris continued. "Challenge 1 will be attempted by Hektor and Unique, Challenge 2 by Ward and Talwen, Challenge 3 by Payson and Ireland, and Challenge 4 by everyone's favorite showmance, Elvio and Velandra! I hear wedding bells!"

- D -

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HEKTOR: Must look away... from things on chest... they are a distraction... from my studies...!

UNIQUE: I get the feeling that when Chris announced that we would be forming guy-girl couples, all of the guys were probably going, "I would like to end up with her!" But Hektor seems okay. He's tame, compared to the other three.

WARD: Aw, man... I don't get to be with Unique. But Talwen seems like a nice girl... even though the guys on my football team would hate me for being with, you know... a geek. Dude... I don't know...

TALWEN: A free-spirited goth nerd gets paired up with a football player? Well, you know what they say... "opposites attract"! Chris would just use one word for that, and that word is "ratings". Then again, it's the word he uses for everything that happens on this show!

PAYSON: Shawty with green hair whose name is Ireland! Shawty so hot the Payson thinks he's in Fire Land! ...Wait, "Fire Land"? Okay, I gots to think of a better one, yo.

IRELAND: Well, I get stuck with Payson, and... not that he's a bad person or anything, but it could've been worse. I could've gotten... HIM! You know who I'm talking about.

ELVIO: When Chris announced that we would be forming guy-girl couples, I bet all the girls, even if they won't admit it, were all, "Ooh, Elvio is so hot and sexy, I just have to be with him!" And while I admit, Velandra isn't exactly my cup of tea, I get the feeling she digs me.

VELANDRA: NO! NO! NO! A million times, NO! I would rather end up on a date with one of the mutated animals from last season than that... that thing!

ELVIO: Yep, totally digs me.

- D -

"And I see that Team Omega really got lucky with their couples!" Chris stated. "Couple 1 is Blaine and Desirae, Couple 2 is Kieran and Luna, Couple 3 is Gareth and York, and Couple number 4 is Connor and... the N girl whose name escapes me at the moment."

- D -

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BLAINE: I know Desirae's my alliance partner and everything, but I don't know if we're at the stage where we would actually call it a date per se... but if it goes well, I'll finally have a date, and my sister... well, she still won't have one, ever!

DESIRAE: Ooh, Blaine my date? I know we just met three days ago, but I gotta get my fro ready for the occasion! [She pulls out a can of hairspray and sprays her afro with it.] I'ma win this challenge for you, Xev girl!

KIERAN: Why would I not want to go on a date with Luna? Well, one, she invades my privacy, and I barely have enough of it as it is! And two... well, remember Izzy from the first season? Izzy's sane compared to her!

LUNA: Ooh! If Kieran and I get married, I want our wedding to have lots of ponies! He likes ponies, right? Well, I found out that most of the guys at my school like ponies even after they said they don't... so he could be one of them too! Eeee!

GARETH: My date is York! I must be the luckiest guy in the world right now!

YORK: KILL ME! KILL ME NOW! [She bangs her head against the walls of the confessional.] Why couldn't I have gotten Kieran? I mean, at least he'd have the decency to leave me alone every once in a while. But then he does that with everyone.

CONNOR: Okay, so my date is Nevaeh... we've gotten pretty close lately, so we could have the advantage here... I hope I'm not wrong.

NEVAEH: I'm nervous... but then I'm always nervous... but I hope my date with Connor turns out okay. I've never been on a date before, because... well, my parents didn't think I was old enough yet. I'm sixteen, so I should be okay... right?

- D -

"Oh, and one more thing!" Chris said to the contestants. "There is a twist in this challenge, and it's also brought to you by the letter D! But that's all I'm gonna tell ya for now. For now, four D-lightful challenges await!"

The contestants got in the duck boats that matched their corresponding team colors. Each "couple" paddled their boat to one of four doors up ahead, each with a number from 1 to 4.

- D -

Ross, Francesca, Hektor, Unique, Blaine and Desirae entered the room that door number 1 led to. Inside the room was a rack filled with colorful dresses.

"D is for Designer Dresses!" Chris' voice said over the loudspeaker in the room. "Guys, you're going to want your new dates to look pretty, and what better way to do that than by blowing your college fund on a fancy-shmancy new dress! You boys have to find a dress that you think your date will like, and put it on her! But you only have like ten minutes to do this, so you have to do it quickly! Oh, and after she tries on the dress, tell her she looks thin, because all girls like being told that they're thin. After the ten minutes are up, one of our former contestants will be judging you girls based on which dress you're wearing, that is, if you're indeed wearing any by the time the challenge is over! The ten minutes start now! Good luck!"

The guys began searching through the dresses in each rack. Because of the ten-minute time limit, they had to scramble like crazy.

- D -

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UNIQUE: My guess is, Chris never went on a date before, right?

BLAINE: I think I recognize these dresses from somewhere... oh, wait! These are all the dresses that Chris keeps in his closet and puts on when he thinks no one is looking! I can smell hair tonic on some of them!

- D -

Ross searched the dresses, finding an orange one that she thought Francesca would like. "Here ya go," Ross said, handing the orange dress to Francesca. "It match your shirt perfectly!"

"Um... I..." Francesca was nervous.

"What wrong, oomon?" Ross said, and tried to comfort her.

- D -

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FRANCESCA: Okay, I... there, I don't like wearing dresses, okay? The last time I wore one was when I was five years old, I wore a frilly pink one and all the kids at school laughed at me and... yeah, yeah, I know you're probably laughing too, so stop it! It's not that funny!

- D -

As Francesca reluctantly went toward the dressing room to try on her dress, Blaine found a light purple one for Desirae to try on. "These dresses are really tacky," Blaine said. "It's like Chris is making purposely it difficult for anyone to win the challenge!"

"Oh, he always do that, hon," said Desirae. "Ooh, this dress go with the purple on my fro so nicely!" She snatched the dress from Blaine's hand and dashed towards the dressing room to try it on before Blaine could say anything.

- D -

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DESIRAE: Sug', I could light up the dance floor in this funky dress... I mean, literally light up the dance floor. Look at all the hair grease on it... child, I know that stuff is flammable! But I'm so glad that after this challenge, I don't have to wear this thing no mo'.

- D -

Hektor was having a hard time trying to find a dress for Unique. However, he looked through dozens of dresses until he finally found one.

"This seems to match Unique's measurements," Hektor said to himself, as he picked up a yellow dress with sunflowers on it and handed it to Unique.

Unique took out a clump of black hair from the dress she was given. "I think Chris wore this dress once," Unique said after she smelled the hair. "Oh well. Maybe it'll look better on me than it did on him." She went to the dressing room to get changed.

- D -

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HEKTOR: As for how I knew her exact measurements, well... I'd rather not say. I don't want my new date thinking the mathlete she's dating is some freaky perverted stalker!

- D -

The three girls have emerged from the dressing rooms wearing their new dresses. Desirae and Unique looked stunning in their dresses, while we could tell Francesca looked a bit uncomfortable in hers.

"I wish I had gotten a different challenge," she muttered to herself.

Just then, the buzzer sounded, indicating time was up. "Time's up, girls!" Chris' voice said over the loudspeaker. "Now it's time to meet our cameo guest judge, returning from last season... D is for Dakota!"

The six contestants laughed at this announcement.

"Yeah, the green-haired orange freak?" Blaine said.

"It won't even matter how those dresses will look on her because none of them will fit her anymore!" Francesca laughed.

"Hoo, mon, dat be a good one!" Ross chortled.

"Me Dakota! Me want daddy to buy me chocolate and new puppy! WANT NOW!" Unique said, doing a bad imitation of the mutated Dakota.

Just then, Dakota emerged. Surprisingly enough, she looked as though the toxic radiation had never affected her to begin with. (Amazing what a whole year can do to a person!) She had platinum blonde hair once again, and was sporting some designer sunglasses.

Oh, and she also had the paparazzi following her around, snapping mass quantities of photos of her at every opportunity.

- D -

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HEKTOR: I don't think it's humanly possible for a photographer to snap that many photos of someone in a single second!

BLAINE: Why do I suddenly miss her mutated monster form? At least that form had a personality, in my opinion.

- D -

Dakota kept posing for the cameras, and flashes kept going (except for those few spots where the photographers had to reload).

"Um, the challenge?" Unique said to Dakota.

"Oh, right," Dakota said. "But I have to make this quick... I'm going to be filming a Khaki Barn commercial with Justin in an hour!"

Dakota smiled and gazed over the three girls in their dresses. She looked at Desirae's purple dress first.

"Ooh, this dress looks so good on a girl from the '70s! Who says retro is dead?" Dakota said.

"It's alive and kickin' now!" Desirae said.

Dakota looked at Francesca next. "Ugh, too tacky," she said. "I'm guessing you don't like wearing dresses, huh?"

"Tell me about it," Francesca said, as Ross facepalmed.

Then Dakota looked at Unique's sunflower dress. In an instant, Dakota's eyes turned into heart symbols, then Dakota started swooning.

- D -

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UNIQUE: I don't know whether it was from her exposure to toxic waste or not, but Dakota sure is a crazy girl!

- D -

"Um..." Dakota stammered. One of the photographers splashed a bucket of water on her to snap her out of it.

"Oh yeah!" Dakota continued. "Anyway..." she reads a name off the card, "...'Unique', was it?... wins the challenge for her team!"

"Yay!" Unique cheered, and she and Hektor high-fived each other.

"Oh, and..." she reads another name off her card, "...'Francesca'... is in last place.

"Aw, man," Francesca frowned, as she pulled off her dress. The other people were in shock, but as it turns out, she had her regular clothing underneath her dress.

"Hey, I've gotta be prepared for everything," Francesca said.

- D -

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ROSS: Goodbye, Luxury Cabin. It been nice knowin' ya, mon.

- D -

Zakeri, Morganne, Ward, Talwen, Kieran and Luna got out of their duck boats, and then went through the door marked with the number 2. It led to a room with three empty tables. Once again, Chris' voice boomed over the loudspeakers.

"Welcome, couple number 2," Chris said through the loudspeakers. "Before we start, I'd like to tell you the results of the previous challenge... um, a team came in first, another team came in second, and another team came in last. But I'm not gonna tell you which team ended up where, so there!" he said, and the six contestants heard the sound of him blowing a raspberry.

- D -

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TALWEN: Wow, Chris is definitely showing us his mature side, isn't he?

- D -

"Anyhow, D is for Dinner!" Chris continued, while Chef, still dressed in his Cupid costume, wheeled in a cart with six covered dishes on it. "Guys, when on your date, you have to take her out to dinner, and make sure you buy her the food she wants, that way, she'll be more likely to eat the food that's in front of her, and less likely to complain about how you never let her have what she wants. But enough about that... to win this challenge, both of you have to eat the food that's in front of you."

Chef placed the covered dishes in front of the contestants sitting at the tables. "You contestants can start removing the covers from the dishes, and begin eating... now!" Chris' voice said.

The six teens removed the covers from their dishes. In keeping with the theme of the letter D, the meal was...

"Ditalini pasta, dumplings with duck sauce, and some durian, kids!" Chef said. The contestants found the smell of the durian overwhelming.

"Pee-yew!" Morganne said as she held her nose. "Why does this fruit smell like Owen?"

- D -

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OWEN: ...What? Why is everyone looking at me? What did I do?

- D -

After Kieran tried to get over the smell of the durian, Luna stuck a fork into one of her dumplings, and said in a deep voice, "Mah boi, this dinner is what all true warriors strive for!" And then she began eating the dumpling.

Kieran said nothing... and then after a while, he put his fork into some ditalini pasta. "Ooh, pasta!" Luna said. "I hope she made lotsa spaghetti!" She then popped some of the ditalini noodles into her mouth.

Kieran became really embarrassed. His face started turning bright red.

- D -

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KIERAN: I still can't believe that Chris gave me... that... for a date! Is he trying to ruin my image here?

LUNA: I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorok!

- D -

Morganne looked over her food. "So... it's a speed eating contest, right?" she said to Zakeri.

"Looks like it," Zakeri said, as he bit into a dumpling.

Suddenly, Morganne picked up her fork, and stuffed as many ditalini noodles she could into her mouth. Ward immediately noticed this.

"You call that speed-eating?" Ward shouted to Morganne. "Let a real man show you how it's done!" And then he began wolfing his dumplings.

Zakeri and Talwen looked at their "dates", confused, and then resumed eating.

- D -

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TALWEN: Ward was really into this eating contest. I guess boys will be boys!

WARD: This is definitely a challenge my boy Owen would've won... I'm doing this for him!

OWEN: I still don't get why you're all looking at me. Is there something on my face?

- D -

While Morganne and Ward were chowing down the food on their plates, Zakeri decided, "What the heck... I might as well join in!" And he karate-chopped the durian on his plate (amazingly, he didn't hurt his hand from the spikes), and speed-ate the contents inside.

- D -

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MORGANNE: I never, in a million years, thought that eating a lot of food was the requirement for winning any of the challenges on this season of Total Drama. If anything, I thought Chris would have made the contestants starve. Boy, was I wrong!

ZAKERI: I am going to have to be extra diligent in my training to lose the weight I gained during that challenge!

- D -

Talwen looked at Ward devouring the food on his plate like a wild animal and figured... "Oh well... when in Rome." She started popping ditalini noodles into her mouth like they were pieces of popcorn.

Eventually Morganne finished all the food on her plate, and so did Zakeri.

"Wow, that was a delicious meal," said Morganne. "Who cares that the durian smelled bad... it tasted so good!"

"Remind me to never eat a meal like that again in a tight time limit," Zakeri said.

"We have our winners!" Chris' voice said over the loudspeakers. "Team Alpha, way to pack it!"

Kieran became flabbergasted, as he watched not only Luna wolf down the rest of her dinner, but also Talwen and Ward do the same!

- D -

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KIERAN: I swear, I must have been the only sane person in that room!

- D -

Just after Ward finished everything on his plate, Talwen finished off the last of her durian. "We have our second-place team!" Chris' voice announced.

"Yeah!" Ward whooped, raising his hands in the air.

Kieran just stood there dumbfounded, even though Luna had an empty plate and stuck her tongue out to show she ate everything on her plate.

"I guess we know who the losers for this challenge are!" Chris said.

- D -

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LUNA: That's no good!

- D -

Justus, Ashlynn, Payson, Ireland, Gareth and York were in their duck boats. They paddled to the door marked with a number 3 on it, and went inside the room.

Over the loudspeakers in the room, Chris greeted the group of six. "Ah, Couple Numero Tres. Welcome! Before we start this challenge, I'd like to tell you the results of the last challenge." He continued, "...Oh ho ho ho! It seems that a team that came in first in one challenge ended up placing last in another challenge! But that's all I'm gonna tell ya!"

The six contestants just stood there, nonplussed.

- D -

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YORK: Note to self: If I get to host my own reality series, I have got to say stuff like that!

- D -

"D is for Dancing!" Chris' voice said, as the contestants were introduced to six DDR-style platforms in the room. "Face it, guys... she likes dancing, you don't. So if you want her to like you, you're going to have to strut your stuff. I'm assuming none of you have danced before, so I just rigged these little devices that you might recognize from World Tour! In a moment, arrows will appear on the monitors, and you'll have to keep the beat to them. Don't worry, they should be easy to follow, unless you have two left feet or can't take directions well or something! If you make too many mistakes, that could cost you! The team who has the highest combined score of its two members wins the challenge! Teammates, take your positions!"

The six contestants took their positions. Justus and Ashlynn stood on the green platforms, Payson and Ireland stood on the red platforms, and Gareth and York took the purple platforms.

- D -

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PAYSON: All right! For this challenge, I gots a chance, because as we all know, the Payson can dance! Learned some fly moves for this dance floor, and we don't have to worry about losin' any more!

JUSTUS: Somethin' tells me Dezzy woulda loved this challenge... I'ma try to win this for her! ...And for my team as well, I didn't forget about that, y'all!

- D -

"Oh, and one more thing!" Chris said, and suddenly, the platforms began to rise like five feet into the air. "D is for Dance 'Til You Drop, because you will literally be dancing until you drop! Get it?" Chris laughed at his own joke, and none of the other contestants did. "Anyway, your song begins now!"

A catchy pop song began playing in the background, and the contestants had to follow the arrow signs on the monitors. Several of the contestants immediately recognized this type of device, and stepped on the corresponding arrows in time with the beat. However, Gareth had a bit of trouble with these arrows, and his timing was a bit off.

- D -

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GARETH: Oh man... I thought this would make me better at dancing! Guess I was wrong!

YORK: My team is never going to win these challenges as long as it has weak people on it! So I'm going to do what I do best... again. I think I recall a particular incident from earlier...

- D -

York looked at the other competitors, then she said really loud, "Boy, it's a real shame I'm competing in this challenge and Desirae isn't! She really loves dancing!"

Justus said, "Yeah, she do, don't she?"

"Oh, and I believe someone touched a certain part of her body earlier in the blindfold challenge... I couldn't remember who it was."

Ashlynn rolled her eyes. "I don't like where this is going..."

Payson raised his hand. "I plead the fizzy, yo."

At this point, Justus got really angry. "What? You laid a hand on one of the two most beautiful girls in this cast?"

Then, at that point, Justus angrily got down from his platform, and then grabbed onto Payson's platform and shook it, knocking him off.

"Whoa!" Payson shouted. "What the dilly yo!"

"And two people are down already!" Chris' voice said over the loudspeaker.

Ashlynn, Ireland, and Gareth, though they were shocked at what they saw, tried to continue on as if nothing happened. York just continued with a smug smirk on her face.

- D -

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ASHLYNN: What Justus did today... that reminded me of my date with Rafael. He did the exact same thing to another guy who wanted to go out with me. I'm beginning to wonder if I should ever go on dates with anyone in the future...

PAYSON: A'ight... this challenge was not the Payson's best. But I'm confident I can handle the rest.

- D -

The song was just about to end, when all of a sudden, another contestant dropped. Ireland accidentally tripped on her skirt and fell off the platform. "Oops!" she said as she hit the ground.

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IRELAND: If I had known it was going to be a dancing challenge, I wouldn't have worn this skirt... it's not designed for dancing, as you could tell.

- D -

Just as soon as Ireland landed, she saw Justus and Payson glaring at each other angrily.

"It's on," Justus said.

"Wha?" Payson replied.

"You heard me!" Justus replied back. "I know you want Dezzy for yourself! That's why you touched her!"

"It was the challenge, yo!" Payson said. "I had a blindfold, I couldn't see, and then WHAM! Desirae appeared in front of me!"

Ireland could take no more of the fighting. "STOP IT, YOU TWO!" she shouted, and not only did Justus and Payson hear her, but so did Ashlynn, Gareth, and York (who were still dancing on their platforms while this was going on).

- D -

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IRELAND: I just wanted to make it through this entire season without anyone fighting with each other. Is that so much to ask?

- D -

Just as soon as Ireland broke up the fight, Justus glared at Payson, and muttered quietly to him, "This ain't over." Payson said nothing as Justus walked off.

The pop song playing in the background ended, and was replaced by Chris' voice over the loudspeakers. "The challenge is over! Gareth and York, good news! Neither of you two dropped, and since your combined score is higher than the others, you've won!"

Gareth and York cheered at this announcement. "Yay! We've won the challenge!" Gareth said excitedly, and hugged York. "Ew! Don't touch me!" York replied.

"Oh, and Ireland and Payson are in last place, and will probably be the laughing stock of dancing competitions everywhere!" Chris laughed, but Ireland and Payson didn't.

- D -

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ASHLYNN: That challenge was definitely awkward!

YORK: I love it when things work just as I planned them! Guess who's not going back to the Loser Cabin tonight! Come on! Take a guess!

- D -

The contestants paddling their way toward door number 4 (by default, Quillon, Odessa, Elvio, Velandra, Connor and Nevaeh) entered said door and entered a rather dirty room. They were once again greeted by Chris' voice.

"Ah, Couple Number 4! You're lucky enough to compete in the last of the four challenges, because if you win this challenge, it could affect your team's standing in the competish! ...Or, it could not. In any case... D is for Diamonds! And I'm not talkin' about the red symbols on the playing cards! I'm talking about the diamonds that you guys buy to impress your dates... you do have a lot of money, right?"

Connor was about to respond, but he didn't want people to know that he indeed has a lot of money, so he said nothing.

"Anyway, you see the ground in front of you?" Chris' voice continued, as the contestants took a look at the giant patch of soil in front of them. "Well, you're gonna have to get your hands dirty, so you have to dig in the ground, because two diamonds are buried in them! If you find a diamond, you win the challenge! But you're gonna need some help. You know how they say diamonds are a girl's best friend? Well, you'll need man's best friend to find them!"

A door opened, and Chef came out holding three dogs attached to leashes. "D is for Dogs!" Chris said. "Yep, that's right! I'm bringing dogs into the challenge... but mostly because this episode is brought to you by the letter D and I wanted to find some way to put dogs in the challenge somehow."

- D -

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CONNOR: Oh, okay. That makes a lot of sense!

- D -

"Couples..." Chris said. "Some of these dogs have been trained to find diamonds by scent alone. Pick a dog that will help you find one, but pick wisely. The dog you pick will be your team's dog for the challenge, and trust me, you do not want to get stuck with the bad one!" Chris laughed, while the contestants ignored him and made their choices.

- D -

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CHRIS: Okay, so there was no way of knowing whether each of these three dogs was good at diamond sniffing or not. I don't know. I just, like, found three dogs off the street somewhere.

ELVIO: I was thinking about using my partner Velandra for this challenge. I mean, she's a female dog, so... does that count?

- D -

The three dogs were (as the nametags on them indicated), Dotty the dalmatian, Danger the doberman, and Dynamo the dachshund. "We'll take Danger, ese," Quillon said, as he and Odessa chose the doberman.

"I think we'll go with Dotty... she's so cute!" Nevaeh said, as she and Connor went with the dalmatian.

"And I'll go with Dynamo, because what girl wouldn't like a guy who shows off his dachshund?" Elvio said.

"Hmph. I'm not even gonna respond to that," Velandra replied, crossing her arms.

"Okay, your challenge begins now!" Chris' voice said. The teams took their dogs toward the giant patch of soil in hopes of searching for one of the two hidden diamonds.

Suddenly, Danger started sniffing towards something. "I think we've found a diamond!" Odessa exclaimed. Quillon and Odessa started digging in the area where Danger sniffed. After about a minute of digging, the two Team Alpha members pulled up a box. They opened it and found...

...a dog bone. Danger took the bone out of Quillon's hand and began chewing on it.

- D -

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ODESSA: I thought we were going to be searching for diamonds, but instead there's all these dog items like bones and chew toys in there. If I wanted some diamonds, I'd buy one from a store that sells jewelry, and not a pet store!

CHRIS: Don't look at me. Some of these dogs are trained to sniff out diamonds. That doesn't mean they can't sniff out other things, too!

- D -

At this point, Dotty the dalmation started sniffing a certain part of one of the corners of the dirt. "What's that, Dotty? You've found one already?" Connor said to Dotty, and began following her. Connor started putting his hands on the dirt that Dotty sniffed, and when Nevaeh saw Connor digging, she helped him by digging with him.

- D -

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NEVAEH: They say that in order to win on reality shows, you have to get your hands dirty! Well, I'm literally doing that!

- D -

While Dotty was sniffing the ground for a diamond, Dynamo began sniffing...

"Finally! We're getting somewhere!" Velandra said.

And what Dynamo was sniffing was... Dotty's butt!

"Is that where one of the diamonds is?" Elvio said. He was about to extend his hand out when...

"Nuh-uh! I ain't doin' that!" Velandra responded, as she slapped Elvio's hand.

- D -

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VELANDRA: D is for Date, right? And I'm paired up with Mr. All Talk But No Brain? Well, if this guy's supposed to be my [makes quote marks with her fingers] "date", then this challenge will end with another D word... "divorce"!

- D -

Connor and Nevaeh were still digging, while Danger started sniffing something else. "Orale!" Quillon shouted, and he and Odessa started digging where Danger sniffed. The two couples dug frantically, hoping that they would retrieve one of the two diamonds.

"I've got something!" Odessa said, as she felt something.

"I've got something too!" Nevaeh said, as she also felt something.

The two girls opened the boxes they found...

"Aw, it's a ball," Odessa said. It made a squeaky sound, and Danger grabbed it with its mouth and started to chew on it.

Nevaeh held up the diamond she found from her box. It was very shiny, which really impressed Connor. "Wow, this one must be worth a fortune!"

"Team Omega, you've won this challenge!" Chris' voice stated. "Teams Alpha and Beta, you're not out of this yet! There's still one diamond left!"

- D -

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CONNOR: Chris spends money on something for someone other than himself? Wow, who would have thought!

As soon as Nevaeh held up her diamond, Elvio took it from her. "Let me see!" He then looked at his image in the reflective surface of the diamond. "Cool, there's like a million pretty faces in there! This is obviously a precious gem!"

Velandra just scowled at him, while Dynamo continued to sniff Dotty's butt.

- D -

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VELANDRA: Those other teams have got trained dogs... I get stuck with a drooling, lazy, worthless beast who can't sniff out any diamonds... and on top of that, I get stuck with Dynamo!

ELVIO: She so wants me.

- D -

Suddenly, Danger began sniffing another portion of the ground. "I think we found something this time!" Quillon said.

"Let's hope it's not another chew toy," Odessa said. Quillon and Odessa dug deep, until they came up with another box. While Quillon pulled the box out of the ground, Velandra kept trying to pull Dynamo away from Dotty's butt!

Quillon opened the box, and inside it was the other diamond!

"The challenge is over!" Chris' voice said. "Teams Omega and Alpha have won, and Team Beta... your dog needs to be sent to obedience school!" Chris laughed, while Velandra scowled, and Elvio still looked at his image in the diamond Nevaeh found.

- D -

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QUILLON: I don't know why Chris wouldn't let us keep the diamond we found in the challenge. It would have been a great gift to give to mami, because she wants one so bad, vato.

- D -

After the challenge, the twenty-four contestants gathered, awaiting the results. Chris showed up, still wearing his tuxedo, with a clipboard presumably containing the standings of everyone who participated in the four challenges.

"Campers, before I announce which teams have won invincibility today, I would like to point out that I told you that there was a twist to this challenge!" Chris said.

The campers were nervous.

"And here it is!" he continued. "D... is for Do-Over! That's right, I'm going to be completely changing the teams!"

A lot of the campers have shocked expressions on their faces.

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MORGANNE: A team swap? This early? I didn't think Chris would do anything like this until around episode 5 or 6!

- D -

"Here's how it's going to work... Team Alpha will now consist of the eight people who placed first in their challenges! Those eight campers are... Hektor, Unique, Zakeri, Morganne, Gareth, York, Connor, and, uh, the N girl! Stand on the green mat!"

Connor, Gareth, Hektor, Morganne, Nevaeh, Unique, York and Zakeri stood on the green mat.

"Congrats, campers! You eight have invincibility, and you will be sleeping in the Luxury Cabin tonight!" The eight campers cheered at Chris' announcement.

"Team Beta... your team will now consist of the people who ended up in second place! Blaine, Desirae, Ward, Talwen, Justus, Ashlynn, Quillon, and Odessa... step onto the red mat!"

Ashlynn, Blaine, Desirae, Justus, Odessa, Quillon, Talwen, and Ward took their positions on the red mat.

"You eight also have invincibility, and you are going to be sleeping in the Dual Cabins tonight!" The eight cheered, but not as much as the eight members of the new Team Alpha.

"So that means the other eight people... yeah, you losers... step onto the purple mat, yadda yadda yadda." Ross, Francesca, Kieran, Luna, Payson, Ireland, Elvio and Velandra followed Chris to the purple mat.

"New Team Omega," Chris said. "You eight lost. You get the Loser Cabin, and one of you eight is going to be voted off tonight. The voting will take place soon, so get acquainted with your new teammates, because soon you'll be getting rid of one of them!"

The eight new members of Team Omega frowned.

- D -

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FRANCESCA: Okay, Chris just threw a curveball at me that I did not see coming! And I always know when curveballs are being thrown at me!

ELVIO: I'm not going anywhere. There are four of us from Team Beta, and the other teams have two each. I can do math, thank you very much, so I can pretty much wipe them out. BOOM! Bye-bye, groups of two!

- D -

"Dinner!" Luna shouted in Kieran's ear, as Kieran was walking off by himself looking for a place to hide.

"No!" Kieran shouted, as he covered his ears, while Luna kept shouting "Dinner!" over and over again.

- D -

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KIERAN: Why does that girl keep saying "Dinner"? She is definitely crazier than Izzy!

LUNA: My ship sails in the morning! I wonder what's for DINNER!

- D -

Just as Kieran was trying to get away from Luna, Francesca and Ross walked into him. "What do you two want?" Kieran said to the two former Team Alpha members.

"Mon, want to team up wit' us?" Ross said to Kieran.

"Sorry, I work alone," Kieran replied.

"But we need your help," Francesca said. "There are four people from Team Beta over there, and they're probably lining us up like shooting targets, and wanting to knock the four of us down one by one!"

"And de t'ing is, mon, we nuh know who to vote off ova' dere," Ross said to Kieran.

"Forget the numbers, why don't we just vote off her and be done with it," Kieran said, motioning towards Luna, who grabbed onto Kieran's leg.

"When there's smoke, they pinch back!" Luna said. Kieran pulled Luna off his leg.

"Seriously, dude, I think we should vote for Elvio!" Francesca said.

"Well..." Kieran was about to speak up, when...

"Say no more!" Ireland and Velandra walked up to the group of four.

"Wait... you want him voted off too?" Francesca said.

"Trust me, we wanted him voted off even before this little switch-up Chris pulled," Velandra said.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to vote any of you four off yet!" Ireland said. Then she looked straight into Kieran's eyes... and for some reason, Kieran looked right back at Ireland for a moment.

"Um, did I miss something?" Francesca said, confused.

"Dinner!" Luna exclaimed.

"SHUT UP!" Kieran shouted to her.

- D -

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KIERAN: When I signed up for this show, I never expected to run into... ...oh, never mind. It's probably nothing that concerns you.

IRELAND: That man... could he be...? ...No wait. Never mind. Forget I said anything.

- D -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The eight members of the new Team Omega sat on the stumps. Six of them had been through this ordeal before, two haven't. Chris took out his box of cookies and addressed the group of eight.

"Team Omega," Chris said. "This is what you get for being big fat losers today! If you see the cookie that's shaped like the first letter of your name, you're safe. If you don't, you're goin' bye-bye."

Chris pulled out a cookie shaped like the letter K. "Kieran, you're safe!" Kieran caught the cookie.

The next cookie was shaped like the letter R. "Ross, so are you!" Ross took the cookie Chris threw at him.

The third cookie looked like the letter I. "Ireland, catch!" Ireland caught the cookie.

The fourth cookie resembled the letter P. "Payson, you're safe too, brah!" Payson caught the cookie thrown at him.

The fifth cookie looked like the letter V. "Velandra, you're also safe!" Velandra caught the V-shaped cookie.

The sixth cookie was L-shaped. "Luna, join the other safe people!" Luna jumped up and excitedly caught the cookie in the air.

Elvio and Francesca awaited the final outcome.

"The final cookie goes to..."

Francesca was nervously fidgeting, while Elvio just stood there smirking arrogantly.

- A -

- B -

- C -

- D -

- E -

- F -

- G -

- H -

- I -

- J -

- K -

- L -

- M -

- N -

- O -

- P -

- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

The final cookie Chris pulled out was F-shaped. "Francesca!" Francesca caught the cookie thrown at her with incredible accuracy.

"Wait a minute, are you sure that's an F?" Elvio said. "I mean, it might have been an E, and the little lower line thing probably fell off!"

"Dude, the cookies are lowercase letters." Francesca showed the cookie to Elvio, and it did indeed look like a lowercase F.

"I was wondering why my cookie was different from the one I got yesterday," said Kieran, holding up his lowercase-K-shaped cookie.

"That's right, I just thought I'd switch things up today, being that this was a team switch episode and all," Chris said. "Anyway, the Dock of Shame awaits!"

- D -

The Boat of Losers carried Elvio, and the other members of Team Omega waved goodbye to him... except for Velandra, who was happy that he was out of the game!

"Adios, Elvio! You will not be missed!" She shouted to him.

But then, as soon as the Boat of Losers left the Dock of Shame, Elvio jumped off the boat, and swam toward the dock!

"No way! The Elvio is not done with this island yet!" he said.

Just then, Dakota began emerging from the Boat of Losers!

"Oh, I almost forgot, we're filming another Khaki Barn commercial, and we need one more male model!" she said to him.

"I'm there!" Elvio said, as he swam toward the Boat of Losers, got onto the boat, picked up Dakota and put her into his arms. The two of them kissed, and Velandra saw this and rolled her eyes.

Chris addressed the viewers at home. "Wow, I bet a lot of you weren't expecting that, huh?" he said. "And why didn't I know about this commercial? I look rather good in khaki, if I do say so myself! Well, anyway, we've got a lot more surprises in store for you! Who will not see the next twist coming, on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY

Elvio (6) - Francesca, Ireland, Kieran, Luna, Ross, Velandra

Francesca (2) - Elvio, Payson

Episode 5: "E" Ticket

The Dock of Shame was once again trod upon by Chris' footsteps, as he addressed the viewers at home. "Last time, on Total Drama Alpharama..."

A hodgepodge of the goings-on from Episode 4 flashed before the viewers' eyes.

"Thanks to my keen powers of observation, I noticed that each of the three teams had four boys and four girls, who may or may not have had thoughts about hooking up with each other. I say, at their age, they should go for it! After all, showmances are a real ratings-grabber! Three of the twelve new couples went dress-shopping... three went out to dinner... three went dancing... and three went to the dogs! And then I completely reshuffled the teams! Seriously, you should totally see the looks on their faces! The four couples who dominated over the others won luxury, and the four couples who really, really SUCKED at their tasks would be the ones vulnerable for elimination! In the end, Elvio's sexiness couldn't win over his teammates, and he got the boot... as well as my spot in a Khaki Barn promo! Maybe I made a big mistake hiring Dakota as an intern last season. She just had to turn back to normal... shame, really. I liked her mutant form better. It really boosted the monster movie fan demographic!"

After the montage ended, Chris and the Dock of Shame appeared again.

"23 contestants remain! Who will be 'E'-liminated tonight? Find out, on Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"

- A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

[TEAM ALPHA - LUXURY CABIN]

Every single member of the new Team Alpha had visited this cabin before! But until now, they have not slept there on the same night together!

It was a nice, enjoyable place for most of the teammates. Connor, Gareth, and Hektor were on the couch playing a video game (Nevaeh was not with them, since after the last incident with the plasma TV, she had decided to swear off video games for a while). York was on one of the chairs reading a book, while Zakeri was sitting on an empty spot on the floor meditating.

Unique and Nevaeh were playing cards at one table, while at another table, Morganne looked... surprisingly sad and anxious. She placed her elbow on the table and held her head in her hand.

- E -

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MORGANNE: I have some good news, and some bad news. The good news is, I'm back in the Luxury Cabin! The bad news is, the three other members of my alliance are on a completely different team! Not only that, Zakeri and I are the only original members of Team Alpha here, and should the other six team up, we could get picked off more easily than the pimples on Gareth's face! ...Not that I was actually looking at his face or anything. Really!

GARETH: I could've sworn that Morganne girl caught a glimpse of my face the other day. I think she might be interested in me too... either that or I have something on my face. I'd better wash up, quickly, otherwise she'll turn me down! [He dashes out of the confessional.]

- E -

It was at this point that Zakeri got up from meditation and began to comfort Morganne. "There, there, it's okay," he said to her. "We could still win tomorrow's challenge, because even before this swap, this team has done so in the past!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she said. "But even if we do lose - and I'm not saying we will - just you and me won't be enough of an alliance. I'd better go talk to someone!" And then she got up and approached Nevaeh and Unique at their table. Zakeri followed her.

Meanwhile, York raised her head a bit from the book she was reading, and her eyes silently shifted in Morganne's direction.

- E -

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ZAKERI: When Morganne strategizes, it can be pretty scary! Somehow I get the feeling that she will go into overdrive one day... it worries me.

YORK: News flash, Morganne... or should I say Moron! Nevaeh is in my alliance, and you can't bogart her just because I took out one of the few allies you will ever have in this game! I will see to it, just you wait.

- E -

The card game that Nevaeh and Unique were playing had recently come to an end. "I have two Kings and two 8s," Nevaeh said, showing her hand.

"Aw, man, I have three Jacks," Unique said. "Which article of clothing do you want me to remove first?"

Nevaeh giggled. "First off, Unique, three of a kind beats two pair, and second, this isn't strip poker, silly!"

"I know, I was just saying that to see if you were paying attention!" Unique laughed. At this point, Morganne and Zakeri went up to the two of them.

"Hey, you two," Morganne said. "Would you be interested in joining my alliance? Because face it... everyone's doing it!"

Nevaeh became nervous.

- E -

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NEVAEH: First York, now Morganne! It seems everyone wants the innocent sheltered girl to be in their alliance with them! [sighs] This team switch has made things really confusing for me than it should be.

- E -

Nevaeh was about to speak. "Well..."

"We'll do it," Unique interrupted. "In fact, I'll go work my mojo on Hektor too later on, and he can join in!"

Morganne beamed triumphantly. "Oh, thank you thank you THANK YOU!" And then she hugged Unique and kissed her on the cheek.

"I didn't know you cared!" Unique said, giggling.

"Oh, sorry," Morganne said, embarrassed.

- E -

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UNIQUE: Morganne is definitely in love with the strategic aspect of this game, isn't she? But I kind of see her point. It's just her and Zakeri over there, while it's just me and Hektor over here, and the four Team Omega members are on the other side... who should I side with to make everything work out for moi in the endgame? ...Zakeri did say his tattoos are waterproof, right?

- E -

Connor, Gareth and Hektor were in the middle of the game they were playing. It was a platforming side-scroller, and each of the three guys was controlling a plumber wearing overalls (Connor's character wore blue, Gareth's wore orange and Hektor's wore purple.) Connor and Hektor retrieved a lot of coins with their characters while Gareth was getting nowhere.

"Urgh!" Gareth complained. "This is one of Sam's favorite games, and I don't know how he gets through it so easily!"

"Be thankful Scott isn't here this season!" said Hektor. "He probably would've thrown all of us into a giant pit for no good reason!"

"I don't think he can do that anymore, thanks to that incident!" Connor laughed.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Gareth said, and then resumed playing.

- E -

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CONNOR: Well, the team swap is over, and no matter which teammates we end up with, you're going to find that a lot of them really hate Scott with a passion! We've hated him ever since he leaked spoilers online about last season! ...Yeah, I know he was still in that device from last time... but still, how was I supposed to know he learned Morse code?

- E -

Just then, Unique walked over to the three boys. "Hey, boys," Unique said, while she strutted her stuff.

The boys' eyes turned to heart symbols just as soon as they saw her. They were stunned, and all three of them dropped the controllers they were holding.

Unique looked around. "Hm... guess I'm all alone for now." And then she picked up one of the controllers and began playing their game while they were distracted. "I hope they don't mind."

- E -

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HEKTOR: I swear, the moment she approached us, I had trouble concentrating on the game. Not that Unique is bad at all... she's actually a good girl! Plus, I have played and completed Super Plumber Bros. at least thirty times in the past five years! I know where all 100 of the extra lives are, and how to defeat all 99 of the game's enemies. It's actually easy when you understand game physics, really.

- E -

[TEAM BETA - DUO CABINS - BOYS' CABIN]

The four boys on Team Beta were just settling into their new digs together. Justus and Quillon had been here yesterday, so they didn't need to unpack. Blaine and Ward, however, were just putting their clothes into the drawer.

"You sure you don't mind sleeping with this big, muscly brute of a guy?" Ward asked Quillon.

"Course not, homes. Mi casa es su casa," Quillon replied. "Well, it definitely is now."

"It may not be the luxury crib, but it's home," Justus said. "And at least it's better than what that punk Payson deserves," he mumbled under his breath.

Ward's eyes widened when he heard Justus' words. "Really? My former teammate?"

"Awkward!" Blaine said in a singsong voice.

- E -

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BLAINE: So I find out that Justus and Payson had it out for each other today. Tell me that isn't a story my sister would be interested in!

QUILLON: If those two had a turf war, I would want no part in it, man.

- E -

"Seriously, man, what do you have against Payson anyway?" Ward asked.

"Well, he touched Desirae's booty, for one thing," Justus said. "And believe me, they're the stuff that no white boy should mess with. And second, I think he's fake, and playin' y'all."

The other three boys were shocked. "Really?" Blaine asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ain't no real white boy go around rappin' 24/7, and they particularly don't do that like they from the '80s or somethin'," Justus continued. "He from the wrong decade."

"Well, Desirae looks like she's from the '70s, but you like her," Quillon responded.

"That's way different, my friend," Justus continued. "The '70s were a fine era... they brought us blaxploitation movies and kickin' fros like my girl wears. And while the '80s did give us some cool rap, they also brought us wack rap from white boys trying to steal from brothers."

"Wow," Ward said in astonishment. "I never knew."

- E -

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WARD: I formed an alliance with Payson back on Day 1... I used to think of him as kind of a cool guy, but... could Justus be right? Could Payson... not be cool after all? My head hurts thinking about this.

JUSTUS: When the next challenge come up, I'ma call Payson out, because I want everyone to know how white he really is. Don't make people think you black if you ain't black! It'd be like usin' a black crayon to color a picture of a snowman on a winter day! Because no one do that. ...Well, truth is, I did, once, in kindergarten... but I only did that because they had no white crayons in class! ...But the point is, Payson will be exposed!

- E -

[TEAM BETA - DUO CABINS - GIRLS' CABIN]

The Team Beta girls, like the Team Beta boys, were just getting to know each other in light of the recent swap. Ashlynn and Desirae shook hands when they found out they were going to be on the same team... however, neither Odessa nor Talwen knew that.

"I think I like the way this team has been set up," Talwen said. "I can barely make out the mumbling from the guys' cabin, but from the looks of things, it seems like us girls should be safe for now."

"Oh, how I wish I had your abilities!" Odessa replied, laughing. "Unless I'm in proximity of their lips, I can barely make out what anyone's saying!"

- E -

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ODESSA: Though I would love to be in proximity of his lips! ...In other words, I want to press mine against his. Quillon helped me out a great deal at the challenge, but I haven't had the courage to tell him I love him yet... ooh, I'm hoping I find the perfect time!

TALWEN: Odessa is an inspirational teammate to have! And the best thing about her is that she really likes my poetry! ...It's too bad she's deaf, because I'd probably end up putting my works in audiobook form... but still, at least her friends will like it!

- E -

"Don't worry, chile, you ain't goin' nowhere yet!" Desirae smiled to Odessa.

"We four girls will probably get along great!" Ashlynn said. "So hang in there!"

"Cool!" Odessa made the "cool" sign with her hands.

- E -

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ASHLYNN: The swap is a double-edged sword, I'm gonna tell you that right now. On one hand, it put me on the same team as Blaine and Desirae, but on the other hand, it took me away from my original teammate Morganne. I sure hope she's okay over there...

DESIRAE: I don't know 'bout you, hon', but I really dig this swap. I was sensin' some bad mojo over at my old team, so I had to get away from it, and fast! It's probably York... I know, the guess is probably just a shot in the dark, but I think she the one responsible for the Xev vote. And if she goes after Morganne, and I know she will, then I'ma make sure she goes next time. I am one sista no one should mess with! SHAZAM!

- E -

[TEAM OMEGA - LOSER CABIN]

The Loser Cabin wasn't quite as crowded as it was the last three times it had been inhabited. Though it would house a seven-person team this time, only four people would actually be living in it. Kieran's absence was pretty much a given, but Ireland and Payson were surprisingly unaccounted for as well. Velandra, Francesca and Ross took notice of this.

- E -

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FRANCESCA: Well, it was my first night in the Loser Cabin. However, it was a bit smaller than I remember it, with just Ross, Velandra and Luna inside. I know I don't like losing, and neither did Ross, but... I guess some people are just sorer losers than others.

ROSS: The Loser Cabin? Me nuh want to come back here again, mon... dat be pretty much what you expect ev'ryone here to say. But de look on Franny-girl's face be worth it, knowin' dat for de first time her lose somet'in'... nuh dat me would wish bad obeah pon she. Far from it.

- E -

"Dinner!" Luna shouted to the three other people in the cabin, while some of them were trying to get to sleep.

"Now I'm starting to figure out why Kieran left," Velandra said to herself, as she started getting into bed. "Oh well, I can't say I blame him." And then she pulled the covers over her

- E -

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VELANDRA: You might have thought that with Luna in there, a night in the Luxury Cabin would have been annoying. Well, if Elvio had stayed, it would've gotten mucho worse, trust me, chica. All the guy did was talk about himself for like hours!

LUNA: I don't know why everyone wanted Elvio gone, but I think I see why... if he stayed, he would've ruined the DINNER! Heh... I like saying "dinner", don't I?

- E -

Kieran (of course) had gone off on his own to find a private place to spend the night... which was right at the top of the cliff. He unrolled his sleeping bag, and was about to sleep in when he heard a female voice talking...

"Guess who?"

Kieran was startled. "No! Luna, go away!" But then he saw that the girl had green hair, and realized, "Wait... you're not Luna."

Ireland giggled. "Yeah, and if you are who I think you are, then you would do something like this!"

Kieran took off his sunglasses. "Yeah, I probably would, wouldn't I?"

- E -

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IRELAND: I guess it must have been because it was dark outside, and it was hard for me to get a good look at him, but Kieran looked a lot like someone I used to know with that exact same name.

KIERAN: I fell in love with this environmentalist, but a group of cool people at the school wanted me to join their gang. I wanted to fit in, so I figured it would be a good idea.

IRELAND: I was organizing a benefit concert to save the earth and prevent littering. However, this group of mean people in black leather jackets, they... they littered at the rally!

KIERAN: I really did not mean to do it, but before I could say anything, she told me to go away! She had tears in her eyes... I broke her heart. I promised myself that if we were to run into each other again, I would apologize to her for what I did...

IRELAND: ...and I would make sure that he would do it. It would be a tiny step towards repairing our relationship...

- E -

Ireland smirked at Kieran. "So... anything else you want to tell me?"

"I..." Kieran paused, then looked at Ireland's face. "I'm sorry. For everything I did that day."

Ireland's smile grew a bit bigger. "I forgive you." She bent over and gave Kieran a small kiss on the cheek. "For now, anyway."

Kieran fell asleep, and then Ireland lay beside him, and started to join him, quietly wrapping her arms around him in the process.

- E -

- DAY 5 -

It was the next morning, and while looking for Kieran and Ireland, Velandra was a bit surprised when she saw the two of them sleeping together.

- E -

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VELANDRA: I must have been busy enjoying my first Elvio-free night that I did not notice this!

- E -

Velandra glared over the two of them. "Oh, and by the way, everyone else is already up, in case you would like to know!" she said loudly to them.

Kieran and Ireland woke up at Velandra's words. "Okay, okay... we're getting ready to eat breakfast right now."

"By the way, has anyone seen Payson?" Ireland asked.

- E -

At another private, secluded area of the campsite, Payson was struggling... trying to climb the top of a tall tree... but he kept slipping. He must have been trying to do that last night, because the sun was already up. He placed both of his hands on the branches, and was trying to get up there... but failed.

"How does Kieran do it?" he thought to himself.

- E -

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PAYSON: Yo, yo, yo, this swap was lame-o, and in one night, I lose Elvio! Justus is a hater, and I'm on Team Purple... this twist is lamer than... than a purple nurple? ...Okay, I'm not doing this. [He takes off his cap and shades.] I used to think that rapping all the time brought me good luck, but it hasn't worked for me this week, obviously. I lost two of my allies, and Justus has it out for me... and I'm definitely going to be the next one voted off, as you can tell. I haven't told the others where I've been last night, and I'm ashamed to show my face to them in public now... maybe I'll tell them where I've been after the challenge is over... [sighs] ...if I can face them.

- E -

[MESS HALL]

After everybody left in the game (other than the absent Payson) arrived at the mess hall, it was an enjoyable breakfast. Chef entertained the palate with an exceptional entourage of English muffins, fried eggs, and some espresso. Enjoy!

As soon as Morganne finished her breakfast, she said, "Mmm... that was very tasty! Well, I'd better get going!" And then she left. Morganne's odd behavior did not go unnoticed by Zakeri.

- E -

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ZAKERI: For some reason, Morganne has been acting stranger than she normally does. I sense some bad chi in the vicinity, and I think that might have caused her to act like that. I did not want to use my martial arts moves on anyone yet, but I might have no choice...

- E -

Morganne was near a group of trees in the forest, and she was sticking her hands in the holes frantically... but coming up empty.

- E -

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MORGANNE: On the last season of Total Drama, there was the McClean-Brand Chris Head, where if you had it, and you had the most number of votes, you would play it, and the person with the next highest number of votes would go home instead. I'm pretty sure there's something like that on this season, if I know my reality shows correctly! And Chris probably wouldn't tell us about it until either the M-themed episode, for "McClean-Brand Chris Head", or the I-themed episode for "Individual Invincibility"... but I'm not waiting until then! I'm going to look for it now! Now if you'll excuse me... [She runs out of the confessional.]

- E -

As soon as Morganne was searching for an invincibility statue which may or may not exist... she stuck her hand into a hole into a tree... the very tree that Payson is still climbing! The two bumped into each other as Payson slipped and fell, falling on Morganne in the process.

"Ow," Morganne said to Payson, rubbing her head. "Warn me next time you do that, okay?"

The unexpected encounter was even more unexpectedly interrupted by Chris over the P.A. system. "Today's challenge is almost ready! Are you 'E'-lated to see it in action?" Chris laughed; Morganne and Payson didn't.

- E -

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PAYSON: Pfft... and the members of Team Omega still think I'm lame!

- E -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

The three team colors of green, red, and purple were really all over the place in this challenge. But this time, they were in pastel form. Cardboard cutouts of Easter eggs sported the garish hues, and Chris, wearing a fluffy pink bunny suit, hopped over to the 23 awaiting contestants, who all laughed in response.

- E -

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UNIQUE: I seriously cannot believe this... there are all these brightly-colored Easter eggs, and Chris was in a bunny costume... it was as camp as Christmas! And since this show takes place in a summer camp, you'll have to wonder if there was a pun intended... as well as why I'm talking about Christmas during an Easter-themed challenge.

- E -

"Hey kids! I'm The Easter Bunny!" Chris shouted to the campers. "I'm so hoppy to announce that it's Easter on New Wawanakwa, because..." Chris holds up a letter E. "...E is for Easter!"

"But it's the middle of July," Ashlynn replied.

"Don't care!" Chris replied back. "Today's challenge is an eggs-tra special one, which I like to call the Easter Eggstravaganza!"

Chris holds up an Easter basket filled with green, red, and purple eggs.

"For this challenge, six of you will be responsible for carrying one of these colorful eggs through an obstacle course, and all the obstacles are brought to you by the letter E! The first obstacle is a moving escalator... but it's moving downward, so you'll have to climb the steps to get to the top, like that one woman did in that one video on ClipTube that one time! Man, that video was so funny! Anyway, the second obstacle is a narrow balance beam... but 'balance beam' doesn't start with the letter E! But 'elephant' does! Chef?"

Chef, also wearing a pink bunny costume, appears, and he brings an elephant with him! The elephant is probably bigger than Chris and Chef combined, and several of the contestants were frightened by the elephant's appearance.

"That's right!" Chris continued. "These elephants will be squirting water at you trying to knock you off the balance beam! Would you like to demonstrate, Edna?"

Edna the elephant aimed its trunk at the 23 contestants. The contestants were scared that the water blast was going to soak them... but Edna turned towards Chris and splashed him instead!

"NOT... ON... ME!" Chris shouted at Edna. The elephant grinned sheepishly, and the contestants and Chef laughed.

- E -

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QUILLON: I guess the sayin' was true... elephants are among the smartest animals on the planet, ese! Chris didn't know what hit him.

- E -

"Anyway," Chris continued. "The third obstacle is our old friend the earthquake, making a return appearance from Season 2! Lots of shaking and quaking, of course! When you are finished getting through the obstacles, you will put your egg in your team's Easter basket at the end of the course! If you drop your egg, you will have to go back and get another, and start the course over again! Even if you didn't drop your egg, you'll have to back to the start of the course if you fall off any of the obstacles! The first two teams to have all six of their competing teammates place an egg in their basket win invincibility!"

The twenty-three contestants cheer.

"However... like all Easter eggs, your eggs will be hidden, and those who won't be competing will be hiding them, and they will be hiding them in that forest over there!" Chris points toward the very forest where Morganne and Payson were earlier. Both of them were a bit nervous because of this.

"Okay, Team Alpha, who will be the hiders on your team?"

Morganne immediately raised her hand. "I'm going in there!" she said. Her seven teammates stared at her.

- E -

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MORGANNE: If I know Chris, he probably chose that forest because that's where I was searching around earlier, and he might have hidden some type of invincibility item there too! So I decided to humor him and be one of the two hiders! If I've hidden all my eggs and there's enough time left, I'll search every part of the forest for that thing... and if I come up empty, I'll end up looking like a fool for searching for something may not actually exist. But hey, at least I'll have done something!

- E -

"Okay, who else?" Chris said. York got an evil grin on her face from Morganne's announcement, and then she raised her hand too. "I'll do it!" she said, and the rest of the team stared at her.

- E -

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YORK: Guess what, Morganne? I know you are trying to get back at me for getting rid of your freaky-haired friend earlier, but I will make sure you won't do that. You will be joining her soon enough, mark my words.

- E -

"And on Team Beta, who will be-"

Chris was interrupted when Justus raised his hand. "I'm gonna hide eggs, and also, I want Payson to do the course!"

Nearly everyone gasped when Justus spoke and pointed his finger at Payson.

- E -

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JUSTUS: 'Bout time everyone saw Payson for who he truly is!

- E -

"W... why?" Payson said, nearly at a loss for words.

"Oh, y'all know why, with your whole 'yo yo yo' thang, and yo' rappin'... plus I know y'all tried to get with Desirae!" Justus responded. "I'm callin' you out! You say you've got skillz, Payson? Well, let's see 'em! Put up or shut up, foo'!"

Payson was struggling to come up with a response.

- E -

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PAYSON: This is not good...

VELANDRA: I am muy in love with Justus right now. He's sayin' about Payson what the whole world's thinkin'! Plus, he sure saved me from havin' to do that.

- E -

"O...kay," Chris said. "And who is the other hider on Team Beta?"

"I guess if no one wants to volunteer, I might as well," Talwen said, while raising her hand.

"So, Justus and Talwen," Chris said. "Anyway, Team Omega, only one of your teammates will be a hider, and who will it be?"

Velandra raised her hand. "Yo."

"Okay, so we have our hiders! And here come the eggs you will be hiding!"

Alyssa showed up carrying three baskets with colored eggs, just like the basket Chris had.

"You can tell I'm eggs-tatic about this job," Alyssa joked sarcastically, as she set the baskets aside.

"Wait a minute!" Chris exclaimed. "Where's the other intern... you know, the one we hired just now?"

Just then, a red-haired girl ran toward the contestants, holding three baskets as well. She was being chased by some very angry eagles, and she was really terrified of them, as you can tell by the expression on her face. "Get them away from me!" she shouted.

Connor was suspicious. "Wait, tell me those eggs aren't..."

"Eagle eggs!" Chris said. "Letter E, remember?"

- E -

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KARRIE: When I agreed to help out with this challenge, I was not told that the challenge would involve eggs! Specifically, bird eggs! Or that there would be giant birds involved! Those things are scary! Scary, I tell you!

IRELAND: Oh my gosh, those poor eagles and their eggs... Chris is turning into a monster!

TALWEN: Isn't this the part where Chris usually announces the twist for this episode? Methinks he must be losing his touch! Must be the pink bunny suit he's wearing.

- E -

Chef gave the baskets to the hiders. A basket containing red and purple eggs was handed to Morganne and another one with similar-colored eggs was given to York. A basket with green and purple eggs was each given to Justus and Talwen. While both of the baskets containing green and red eggs were given to Velandra, and she was able to carry both of them with ease.

"Hiders," Chris instructed. "You have eight minutes to hide your eggs!"

"Why eight?" Justus asked. "Why not, like, ten?"

"Hello? 'Eight'? Beginning with E? Remember?" Chris replied.

"Oh."

"Your eight minutes starts... now!" After Chris said this, the five teens holding the baskets made a mad dash into the forest.

- E -

Several of the hiders made good use of their eight minutes. Talwen found a nice section of the forest where she hoped no one would look. She put a green egg behind a large rock, and a purple egg behind another large rock that was next to it.

Justus, who still had his vendetta against Payson, wanted to make sure Team Omega would lose the challenge. He hid the purple eggs very well, and left some green eggs out in the open, where he hoped Team Alpha would find them. "This is for my old team," he said to himself.

Morganne was hiding her eggs as fast as possible. After she hid both a red egg and a purple egg, she would occasionally look behind rocks and in holes in trees to see if there were any invincibility-granting items like the McClean-Brand Chris Head from last season hidden inside.

York took notice of this, and instead of hiding the red and purple eggs she had, she left them in locations where they were easily accessible.

Velandra started noticing York's behavior, and hid the green eggs she had very well, so that they were harder to find than the red eggs she hid. In fact, she even hid some of the green eggs that Justus had previously placed out in the open!

An airhorn sounded, indicating that the eight minutes were up. "Time's up!" Chris' voice shouted.

- E -

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MORGANNE: Once again, I still come up empty! Where is that thing? Maybe he hid it somewhere else...

YORK: Okay, so I threw the challenge. But this will probably be a one-time only thing, you know, something that will allow you to take advantage of a team swap to get rid of a major threat. It's not like I'm going to throw challenges for six or seven episodes in a row, SCOTT!

VELANDRA: York is goin' down!

JUSTUS: Payson is goin' down!

TALWEN: I hid my eggs, but I noticed that others have left certain colored eggs out in the open. This challenge really shows everyone's true colors... no pun intended!

- E -

After the eggs had been hidden, Connor, Quillon, and Francesca took their positions at the forest's entrance. "Remember, you are looking for an egg with your team color on it!" Chris shouted to them. "The challenge starts... now!" And Connor, Quillon, and Francesca went into the forest to look for their eggs.

This made it more confusing for them because neither of the three ended up on their original teams. They had to remember their new team colors now... green for Connor, red for Quillon, and purple for Francesca.

While Connor was struggling trying to find a green egg, Quillon and Francesca had no trouble finding their eggs, since they were conveniently placed out in the open. After the two found their eggs, they dashed out of the forest.

- E -

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QUILLON: I thought that the egg findin' was goin' to be really difficult, but I find one right away. I don't know whether it was one of my former teammates tryin' to help me out or someone tryin' to throw a challenge to get rid of someone on their own team... but anyway, whoever you are... gracias!

- E -

Francesca and Quillon took their eggs out of the forest and started on the obstacle course. They faced the downward-moving escalator and both Francesca and Quillon scaled the steps as fast as they could, while trying to carefully hold on to their egg. Francesca finished first, barely beating Quillon.

Francesca then made it across the balance beam, carefully avoiding the water blasts spewing from the elephants' trunks, to the earthquake section. Quillon, not too far behind her, crossed the balance beam with care and ease while avoiding the elephants' blasts!

The third and final obstacle, the earthquake, had various platforms and obstacles that were shaking like crazy! Francesca nimbly jumped across the shaking platforms without falling or breaking her egg! She placed the purple egg into her team's basket (but not dunking it like a basketball, because that would break the egg).

Team Omega had scored their first point!

TEAM ALPHA - 0 / TEAM BETA - 0 / TEAM OMEGA - 1

- E -

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FRANCESCA: Yep, I'd have to say that challenge was 'E'-asy! Make your challenges harder next time, Chris!

- E -

Quillon carefully timed the earthquake part of the course right... jumping across the platforms whenever they were in the right location. He neither fell off nor broke his red egg, so it was safe to put his egg into his team's basket! "Orale!" he shouted, while pumping his fists in the air.

TEAM ALPHA - 0 / TEAM BETA - 1 / TEAM OMEGA - 1

- E -

After Francesca completed the course, she tagged Luna, who was waiting outside the forest entrance. After Luna dashed in, Quillon tagged Blaine, who dashed in after her.

Meanwhile, Unique, who was still waiting for Connor to emerge from the forest, started to grow impatient. "What's taking him so long?" she said to herself.

- E -

Connor was still searching for a green egg in the forest. He noticed that Blaine and Luna have just entered the forest searching for eggs as well. He also noticed that Blaine had found an easily-accessible red egg, and Luna, after climbing a tree branch, picked up a purple egg, smiled, then picked up Connor and gave him a big kiss on his lips before he could say anything!

- E -

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BLAINE: The egg I found wasn't well hidden at all! Whoever is in charge of hiding the red eggs must have been dumber than my sister, if that was possible!

LUNA: I am Monkey Girl! I like climbing trees! Ook ook ook! You humans shall see my mad monkey skillz in the obstacle course! [She starts beating her chest and doing the Tarzan yell.]

CONNOR: I've noticed that the other teams have had at least two of their members each retrieve an egg, while I haven't found one yet. I have to say that something is not right here... if I didn't know any better, I'd say someone on my new team might be handing those two teams the victory! But I'm not going to start pointing fingers yet...

- E -

Finally, after minutes of frantic searching, Connor found a green egg. It was in one of the out-in-the-open hiding spots that Velandra overlooked. But as soon as Connor emerged from the forest, he noticed that Blaine and Luna had just started on the obstacle course (both of them were currently crossing the balance beam), so he had to make up some time.

Connor, being careful not to drop the egg, ran as fast as he could up the escalator. As soon as he got to the top, he noticed Blaine sidestepping the elephants' blasts, while Luna did somersaults on her balance beam while making monkey noises (miraculously, she managed to avoid the blasts and not once did her egg break while doing this).

Connor carefully crossed the balance beam, trying not to let the streams of water knock him off. He became really nervous when he saw that Blaine and Luna were already attempting the earthquake section!

Amazingly enough, neither Blaine nor Luna fell off the moving platforms, and Luna gracefully somersaulted over to her team's basket, placed her egg in there, and beat her hands on her chest and yelled like Tarzan.

TEAM ALPHA - 0 / TEAM BETA - 1 / TEAM OMEGA - 2

"Man, I'm glad I'm not on her team anymore," Blaine thought to himself. But he didn't let it bother him as he made it over to his team's basket and placed his egg in there.

TEAM ALPHA - 0 / TEAM BETA - 2 / TEAM OMEGA - 2

- E -

Luna tagged Ross, and the Jamaican went off into the forest. Shortly after, Blaine tagged Ashlynn, and she went in.

Unique was still waiting.

- E -

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UNIQUE: When I noticed that Connor hadn't come back in a while, I figured that someone was clearly trying to sabotage Team Alpha, and I don't know whether it's someone on our team or from one of the other teams! ...I hope that person's one of the guys, because I can manipulate them easily, and they probably won't do that again. The girls, however, might be a problem...

- E -

Connor had carefully made it across the earthquake section of the course. He was relieved that he made it without falling or dropping his egg! He placed his egg in the basket, and realized his team would have a lot of catching up to do.

TEAM ALPHA - 1 / TEAM BETA - 2 / TEAM OMEGA - 2

- E -

Connor quickly ran over to Unique, who was waiting patiently for him. "Man, I can't believe those teams have gotten two eggs to our one!"

"Yeah, I know!" Unique said back, as she ran toward the forest.

"I think someone on our team is throwing the challenge!" Connor said.

As soon as Unique entered, she noticed that Ashlynn, holding a red egg, and Ross, holding a purple egg, have already dashed out of the forest. Unique had a shocked expression on her face.

"No kidding!" Unique said to Connor, as she continued into the forest, hoping to catch up to the other two teams.

- E -

Ross and Ashlynn have already made it to the escalator. Ross scaled the moving stairs with no problem, and made it to the balance beam.

While Ashlynn was climbing, Chris shouted to her, "Yeah! That's how you do it, Ashlynn! Do it like that woman in the video!" Ashlynn ignored his shouting, and continued climbing anyway.

- E -

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ASHLYNN: I saw that video. The woman in the video was a blonde woman. I know that Chris is saying this just to make fun of blonde girls like me! Well, it's not going to work!

- E -

Unique was searching through the forest, when she noticed that a squirrel was running off with one of the green eggs, and climbing a tree branch! As soon as it stood on the middle of the branch, it immediately noticed Unique, and its eyes turned to heart signs, causing it to become stunned, and drop the egg. Unique picked up the egg before it could break.

"Well, um... thank you, I guess!" Unique said to the squirrel.

- E -

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SQUIRREL: Ttt ttt ttt ttt ttt ttt ttt! [It holds up a picture of Unique's face, then draws a heart symbol around it.]

- E -

Ross dodged the elephants' water blasts with ease as he crossed the balance beam. Ashlynn, however, was not quite so lucky, as one of the blasts hit her, causing her to fall off. Her egg, however, did not break.

"Ooh, Ashlynn fell off! That is such a blonde moment!" Chris said, while laughing.

"Oh, can it, Chris," Ashlynn muttered, as she carefully returned back to the first obstacle to try again. Chris was still laughing at her while she climbed the escalator again. It was at this point that Unique was just setting foot onto the escalator.

"It's okay, Ashlynn, he does that to everyone," Unique said to console her, and then she reached the top of the escalator.

"Well, I feel a bit better..." Ashlynn replied, as she made it to the top again.

Ross was just getting through the earthquake portion, carefully navigating the shaking platforms, and he made it to the basket without falling off. He put the egg in the basket and celebrated! "Tun up!" he said.

TEAM ALPHA - 1 / TEAM BETA - 2 / TEAM OMEGA - 3

- E -

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ROSS: Dis challenge halfway ova' already, so me expectin' a big comeback after last time! Right now, we beatin' dem bad!

- E -

As soon as Unique set foot on the balance beam, the elephants saw her, and their eyes turned to heart signs. They were too lovestruck with her to spray water at anyone. Unique took advantage of this and crossed, and so did Ashlynn!

- E -

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UNIQUE: I don't know why the whole animal kingdom seems to be interested in me, but I'm gaining a lot of fans today!

- E -

Ross tagged to Ireland, who was waiting outside the forest. "I will keep my eyes out for anything purple!" she said. "Even the pretty purple flowers... I might pick some later!" She giggled and headed off.

Meanwhile, Ashlynn and Unique have successfully made it across the earthquaking platforms with no mistakes! They both put their eggs into their teams' baskets at the same time!

TEAM ALPHA - 2 / TEAM BETA - 3 / TEAM OMEGA - 3

- E -

Ireland looked into the forest, and came across another purple egg out in the open. It was in a nice little bunny rabbits' paws, and it handed it off to her. "Aw, how sweet," she said, and the bunny rabbit blushed.

- E -

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BUNNY RABBIT: Squeek squeek squeek! [It holds up a picture of Ireland's face, then draws a heart symbol around it.]

- E -

As Ireland left the forest, Zakeri and Ward entered (after being tagged by their teammates, that is). Ward was looking through the bushes for a red egg, when he noticed Zakeri quickly climbing a tree, and the martial artist quickly recovered a green egg hidden among the tree's leaves.

"Wow," Ward said in astonishment after he had just found a red egg in the bushes. "I have got to learn how to do that..."

- E -

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ZAKERI: So? My backyard at home has several trees. I've done this since I was a child. Of course, my parents would have to bring out the ladder now and then whenever it was time for supper, but being up there was such a thrill!

- E -

Ireland made it up the escalator, and she was crossing the balance beam carefully (hard to do in a long skirt), but as she reached the earthquake section, she mistimed her jump, and she fell and broke her egg.

"Ireland broke her egg!" Chris shouted. "She has to find another one!"

Ireland then started to cry.

- E -

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IRELAND: OMG... I am such a monster. I murdered a baby eagle. I'm worse than Chris. What has reality TV turned me into? [She cries.]

- E -

She ran over to Kieran, who was waiting outside the forest along with Hektor and Odessa. She placed her hands in Kieran's arms, and cried a lot.

"There, there, everything is going to be all right, babe," Kieran said to her. "You can still do this." The two of them hugged.

Hektor and Odessa were confused.

- E -

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HEKTOR: Kieran kept to himself during the first four days out here, but I've noticed that he was very helpful to Ireland recently. This doesn't add up! And being a mathlete, I should know when things add up.

- E -

Zakeri and Ward had no trouble with the moving escalator. They ran up the moving steps with athleticism, and they crossed the balance beam carefully. Ireland emerged from the forest with another purple egg, and noticed the two musclemen on the balance beam carefully dodging the elephants' blasts.

- E -

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IRELAND: I was surrounded by hot guys during my time in the challenge. First Kieran comforts me, then I get to see Ward and Zakeri on the balance beams! But then again, I'm still into Kieran, thanks!

WARD: I was doin' very good on the balance beam, bro. I used to practice walking on the balance beam a lot in between practice sessions. And, yes, the balance beams supported my weight! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THEY DON'T? HUH? ANSWER ME! ...Crap, I'm yellin' again.

- E -

Zakeri and Ward athletically nailed the earthquake part of the challenge, by jumping across at the right moments. They each put their eggs into their teams baskets in triumph, and high-fived each other.

"Great game, bro!" Ward congratulated Zakeri.

"You too," Zakeri complimented him back.

TEAM ALPHA - 3 / TEAM BETA - 4 / TEAM OMEGA - 3

It was at this point that Ireland made it across the balance beam again, and this time, she didn't mistime her jump at the earthquake. She placed her egg in the basket without further incident.

"Phew!" Ireland said with relief. "I hope I don't have to go through that again."

TEAM ALPHA - 3 / TEAM BETA - 4 / TEAM OMEGA - 4

- E -

Hektor and Odessa were now in the forest this time, searching for eggs. Hektor was not having as much luck as Odessa, who spotted a bright red egg in a tree stump.

"Aiyaah," Hektor said to himself. "I don't know how they keep doing it!"

- E -

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ODESSA: And once again, where my hearing fails, my other senses kick in to save the day! Here's a tip, Chris... if you want your eggs to be hidden better, don't use like really, really bright paint. I think this stuff glows in the dark, too...

- E -

After Odessa left, Hektor reached into the holes in the nearby tree, and found another green egg. He then saw Kieran just entering the forest. "Your teams are having better luck than ours!" Hektor said to him.

"No kidding," Kieran replied, as he successfully found a purple egg behind a nearby rock. The two boys then left the forest.

- E -

Odessa then scaled the escalator. "Yeah, that's right!" Chris shouted at her. "Do it like that other blonde girl did earlier!" Odessa was annoyed at this.

- E -

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CHRIS: And the best part about it? She didn't hear it! Oh man, that's so funny!

ODESSA: I can still read his lips! Has he forgotten about that?

- E -

Just as Odessa got to the top of the escalator, Hektor and Kieran were right behind her, climbing their escalators. It was a three-way race!

It became fast and furious as the three of them tried hard to outlast the others by carefully dodging the elephants' water blasts while crossing the balance beam, and they reached the other side at the same time without falling or dropping their eggs, and they also managed to cross the shaking platforms at virtually the same time! Amazingly, none of the three fell off or dropped their eggs!

Hektor, Kieran, and Odessa placed their eggs into their teams' baskets, and high-fived each other.

"It was really intense!" Odessa said.

"Tell me about it!" said Hektor.

TEAM ALPHA - 4 / TEAM BETA - 5 / TEAM OMEGA - 5

- E -

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KIERAN: Only Payson was left on my team, and from what I heard, Justus kept calling him out. I'm known as the "cool guy" on Team Omega, and I know cool... but what Justus did wasn't cool!

JUSTUS: Now it's just down to Poser Boy on Team Omega! And down to the African goddess Desirae on our team! I know she can handle him! Team Beta is going to the Luxury Cabin, baby!

PAYSON: It was all up to me now... this really, really sucks, bro. I was going to be the hero or the goat...

- E -

Now Nevaeh, Desirae and Payson entered the forest. While the three of them were searching for their eggs, Desirae said to Payson, "You sure you ain't gon' touch ma booty this time, boy?"

"For the last time, it was an accident, yo!" Payson said. Desirae kept glaring at him, while Nevaeh just watched in shock.

- E -

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NEVAEH: Did I miss something here?

- E -

Desirae retrieved a red egg that was placed in front of a bush. "Sha-ZAM!" she shouted, as she took the egg out of the forest.

Payson was once again trying to climb a tree (after seeing a purple egg in one of its branches)... and failing. As soon as Payson fell down, Nevaeh had just retrieved a green egg that was well hidden in another bush. She took that egg out of the forest.

- E -

Desirae owned the escalator. With lightning-fast dance moves, she stepped on the steps like a dancing queen and made it to the top! Nevaeh was not as fast as her though, but she made it up to the top of her escalator.

Desirae gracefully danced across the balance beam, and nimbly dodged the elephants' blasts. Nevaeh took her sweet time, but didn't fall or break her egg. Desirae timed the earthquake jumps with precision dance leaps, and successfully placed her red egg in her team's basket!

TEAM ALPHA - 4 / TEAM BETA - 6 / TEAM OMEGA - 5

"Team Beta has invincibility!" Chris shouted.

"Celebrate good times, come on!" Desirae whooped while dancing.

- E -

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DESIRAE: Yeah, baby! We're movin' on up! Team Beta will be dancin' all night in that Luxury Cabin, and we're gonna boogie-oogie-oogie till we just can't boogie no more! Justus sure seemed happy about it!

JUSTUS: Yeah! We beat yo' butt, Payson! This is how real people do! I ain't goin' nowhere, and neither is Dezzy... and no, y'all still can't have her!

- E -

Nevaeh carefully traversed the shaking platforms carefully. "This is scary!" she thought to herself. But she swallowed her pride and made it across okay! While she was worried that she would have to fall off or break the egg, she and the egg made it in one piece! She placed the egg gently into her teams' basket.

TEAM ALPHA - 5 / TEAM BETA - 6 / TEAM OMEGA - 5

- E -

After failing to climb the tree, Payson started kicking the tree down to drop the egg. He tried to catch the egg, but the egg broke. Payson growled, cursing his luck.

Meanwhile, Gareth just entered the forest, searching for his egg. "You know how that feels, huh?" Gareth said to Payson, while searching for an egg.

"Just... shut up..." Payson muttered, and searched for another egg.

- E -

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PAYSON: It's bad enough people have to call me out, but I don't need Gareth from the other team rubbin' it in!

- E -

Gareth found a green egg in a secluded area of the forest. As soon as Gareth picked the egg up, a bird flies over and poops on Gareth's head.

"Great... just my luck," he muttered to himself.

- E -

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GARETH: Oh well, at least I got an egg out of this, so my luck is definitely getting up there!

- E -

As soon as Gareth left the forest with an egg, Payson became angry he kicked a rock. But just after he kicked the rock, he noticed what was behind it!

It was a purple egg! Payson picked it up! He was back in this!

- E -

Gareth emerged from the forest holding his green egg, and scaled the escalator! Payson was not too far behind, and he too scaled his. Both were determined to prevent their team from having to vote off someone!

They both carefully crossed the balance beam, and while the elephants sprayed both of them, neither of them fell off. They were that determined.

It was down to the final part of the course... the earthquake. Both planned their moves carefully, and crossed the platforms with care. All the boys had to do was place the egg into their basket, and it was very close.

But just before the boys could place their eggs into the basket, one of the boys tripped and fell...

...and broke his egg.

It was Gareth.

"Oh no!" Gareth cried.

"Gareth broke his egg! He has to go back to the start!" Chris shouted at him.

However, Payson managed to place his egg into the basket.

"Never mind!" Chris shouted. "Team Omega wins immunity!"

TEAM ALPHA - 5 / TEAM BETA - 6 / TEAM OMEGA - 6

"Yes!" Payson shouted. "Team Omega is back!"

"NOOOO!" Gareth cried. "Whyyyyyyyyyyy?"

- E -

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PAYSON: Justus may be laughin' right now, but at least I'm still in this! You wanted to see my skillz, Justus? Well, you just saw them! And you're going to see some more tomorrow, I promise you that!

GARETH: I feel like I let my team down... I will probably be going tonight for losing it after being so close... this is usually what happens on this series!

YORK: Yep, because we had a klutzy loser on our team, we lost. But he is not the main target tonight, it's Miss I Want An Immunity Idol To Protect Me! Don't worry, Morganne, Xev will gladly share some of her fashion secrets with you as a consolation!

- E -

After the challenge, York was talking with Connor, Gareth and Nevaeh in the communal bathrooms.

"Wow, that challenge was really tough on us," Connor said. "It's like we didn't get much of a chance."

"I think someone on our team threw the challenge," York said. "And it was probably Morganne."

"Why her?" Gareth asked.

"I noticed that she was trying to look for some statue that probably isn't going to be in this season at all," York said. "She was too busy doing that to hide eggs that she just left them out in the open so the other teams could find them."

Connor, Gareth and Nevaeh were shocked.

- E -

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NEVAEH: I can't believe this... I thought Morganne could be trusted. Her parents must have let her watch reality TV at an early age, that must be it!

- E -

Meanwhile, Morganne, Hektor, Unique, and Zakeri were standing outside, in a clearing in the forest, talking.

"So who are we voting for?" Hektor said.

"I don't know, but I do know that someone on our team might have thrown that challenge," Morganne said. "Probably either York or Gareth."

"I don't think it's Gareth," Zakeri. "I've seen him, and he trips and falls all the time, so he couldn't have done it on purpose."

"I say it's York," Morganne said. "I've got this sneaking suspicion that she was only cast onto this show to stir up drama, and nothing else."

"You're probably right," Unique said. "Let's send our votes her way."

- E -

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MORGANNE: It's probably going to be a tie... four votes against York, the other four against me. I've brushed up on reality shows to know what to do in case of a tiebreaker. I've learned how to make fire, and I've pretty much spelled all the names of the other contestants correctly! I've even counted the number of windows in each cabin and figured out exactly what we had for breakfast on each of the five days I've been out here. If you think I have OCD after hearing all this, you'd probably be right. But in this case, it might pay off!

- E -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The eight Team Alpha members sat on the stumps, anxiously awaiting their fate. Chris greeted them. Chris held his box of cookies.

"Finally, Team Alpha is here," Chris said. "It's like you weren't even trying today. Anyhoo, if the cookie looks like the first letter of your name, you're safe! If not, you're outta here!"

Chris opened the box of cookies, and pulled out an H-shaped cookie. "Hektor, you're safe!" Hektor caught his cookie.

The next cookie was C-shaped. "Connor, so are you!" Connor caught the cookie Chris threw.

The third cookie was shaped like a U. "Unique!" Unique was excited to receive her cookie.

The fourth cookie looked like the letter Z. "So are you, Zakeri!" The martial artist caught the cookie that Chris threw at him.

The fifth cookie looked like the letter N. "N girl, you're safe too!" Chris said to Nevaeh, who caught her cookie.

The sixth cookie was shaped like the letter G. "Gareth, you're also safe!" Gareth was lucky to have caught another cookie. "I'm still in this!" Gareth said.

It was down to Morganne and York. Both of them knew that one of them would be leaving.

"And now, it's just two people left. And this is where I announce another twist!" Chris opened the box of cookies, to show it was empty. "E... is for Empty!"

"So... we both have to leave?" Morganne said.

"You can't do this!" York said.

"Also..." Chris said. "E... is for Everyone Else!"

"WHAT?" Morganne and York were shocked.

- E -

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MORGANNE: I knew that there was eventually going to be a twist this episode, but I never expected it to only take place at the last possible minute!

- E -

The eight members of Team Beta and the seven members of Team Omega all went over to the Bonfire Ceremony. "This had better be important," Ashlynn said.

"Yeah, we're all trying to get some sleep," Payson replied.

"Team Beta... Team Omega... Morganne and York here have received votes at tonight's Bonfire Ceremony. In a moment, each of you will cast a vote to eliminate one of these two, and your votes will be combined with the other votes that were cast against them. However, each of the two votees have a chance to convince you to save them in the short time they have left! Morganne, you go first!"

Morganne stood up, and addressed the other campers.

"Campers," Morganne said. "As you know, I am one of the biggest Total Drama fans... I will be a big help in challenges if there is another team swap and I somehow end up on your team, and I am good at forming alliances, so please keep me around! I would love to stay! Okay, I'm done." Morganne got back to her seat.

"York," Chris said. "You're next."

York stood up, and addressed the other campers.

"As you can see, Morganne has made a good point," York said. "I haven't won as many challenges as she has, plus I sent my team to the Loser Cabin like three times so far. But know this... if Morganne makes it any further in this game, she could probably win!" Morganne and the other contestants were shocked.

"Really?" some of the other contestants asked.

"Like she said, she knows Total Drama inside and out," York continued. "She probably knows more than a lot of you... probably too much. She could beat you if she is given a chance. Think about this when you vote tonight. Well, Chris, I've said all I can." York returned to her seat.

"Okay, both Morganne and York have spoken!" Chris said. "Time to vote!"

- E -

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ASHLYNN: Finally, this is my first time having to vote someone off! I vote York to save Morganne, duh. We're keeping this alliance to the end!

ODESSA: This is my sign for York now! [She makes a yap-yap-yap motion with her hand.]

LUNA: Morganne knows too much! The Monkey Girl does not approve! Ook ook ook! She shall be punished!

KIERAN: Maybe I should vote both of them off at once, I think they're both annoying! ...What? I can't do that? Dang...

QUILLON: Man... this is heavy.

- E -

After all fifteen votes have been counted, Morganne and York awaited the final outcome. "Girls, the last cookie is in this box," Chris said. "The final cookie goes to..."

Morganne was nervous, while York just stared at her, crossing her arms, and with a confident scowl on her face.

- A -

- B -

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- D -

- E -

- F -

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- L -

- M -

- N -

- O -

- P -

- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

The final cookie was Y-shaped. "York!" Chris said, while York caught her cookie.

"Wait!" Morganne shouted. "I have found the McClean-Brand Chris Head!" Morganne pulled a statue out of her shorts that looked very much like the McClean-Brand Chris Head. She handed it over to him.

"Um, that thing is a fake," Chris said.

"I know, I made it myself!" Morganne said. "I just thought I'd give you a souvenir to commemorate this occasion!"

Chris looked at the statue proudly. "Wow, it really does look like me," Chris said. "It's nice to know that you're such a kissup!"

"Thanks!" Morganne said.

"But you're still out, though," Chris said.

"Oh well, at least I tried," Morganne responded.

Meanwhile, Karrie approached the campers, still being chased by eagles. "Get those freaking eagles away from meeeee!" she shouted.

- E -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

EAGLE: Squawk squawk squawk! [It holds up a picture of Karrie's face, then draws a heart symbol around it.]

- E -

The Boat of Losers carried Morganne, as she waved to all 22 of the other contestants. "Goodbye, everyone!" she shouted to them.

"Goodbye, Morganne!" Zakeri shouted back.

"We will miss you!" Ashlynn shouted.

"Chris, are you enjoying your souvenir?" Morganne said to Chris.

"Yep!" Chris said, holding the statue in his hand.

"Good!" Morganne said. "I put a lot of work into it, so take care of it, okay?" And then the Boat of Losers steered away from the dock, and into the sunset.

"Oh man," Chris said to the viewers at home, while holding his statue. "That thing is so going on the 'E'-market! I'll probably have more money than anyone else here will have!"

"Hey!" the other campers shouted back.

"What cool gifts will the campers give me next?" Chris said to the audience. "Find out next time, on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY

Morganne (12) - Connor, Francesca, Gareth, Ireland, Justus, Kieran, Luna, Nevaeh, Payson, Talwen, Ward, York

York (11) - Ashlynn, Blaine, Desirae, Hektor, Morganne, Odessa, Quillon, Ross, Unique, Velandra, Zakeri

Episode 6: "F" Troop

The Dock of Shame was calm and quiet on another beautiful morning. But Chris changed that by setting foot onto it. "Last time, on Total Drama Alpharama..." Chris said to the viewers, who were then rewarded with various snippets of what went on in the previous episode.

"Everything turned out eggs-actly as I eggs-pected! Eighteen contestants were looking for Easter eggs, and they were scrambling to avoid being fried at the Bonfire Ceremony! And did they hop to it! But it seems some of them had an easier job of finding eggs than others, since many of the hiders didn't do a good job of hiding! Justus egged Payson on, and Gareth got egg on his face, causing his team to come in last after quite a while! You know the old saying, 'Last one there is a rotten egg'? Well, Team Alpha were the last ones there, so you're lookin' at a whole carton of rotten eggs! At the Bonfire Ceremony, it was down to Morganne, who was searching for something other than colored eggs, and York, who was a real bad egg herself! In the end, Morganne's chances were eggs-tinguished, but it seems Easter has come early for yours truly, as she has given me a genuine imitation McClean-Brand Chris Head! Now I have invincibility and can't be voted off for the rest of the season, so take that, contestants! Nyah nyah!"

The Dock of Shame materialized in front of our eyes, with Chris still standing on it.

"22 contestants remain! In this episode, brought to you by the letter F, will friends become foes? Will there be fireworks? Will there be fights? Will there be friction? Find out, right here, on Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"

- A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

[TEAM BETA - LUXURY CABIN]

Team Beta returned to the Luxury Cabin after witnessing the results of the extended vote-off. Desirae, Blaine, and Ashlynn were playing a game of pool, Talwen was by herself reading a book, Justus was getting a soda from a vending machine, and Ward, Quillon, and Odessa were busy watching some classic moments from the Total Drama Island DVD on the plasma screen.

Blaine was adjusting his cue, and aimed toward the white ball. It bumped into the green ball with the number 6 on it and sent it into a pocket.

"Ooh, you good at this!" Desirae beamed.

"Hey, I've been practicing billiards for five years," Blaine said. "Watch this!" And then he aimed the cue stick at the cue ball and it knocked a white ball with a purple stripe and the number 12 on it into a corner pocket.

"You're really good!" said Ashlynn. "You must come from a family of winners!"

"Oh, my family isn't that good," said Blaine with modesty.

- F -

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BLAINE: It hasn't even been a full week yet, and so far, I have been doing a good job keeping my identity as Blaineley's brother under wraps. My sister has been doing the same thing on Celebrity Manhunt, but in this case, it's a good thing! My alliance has been losing members slowly but surely, and I am certain to be the next target if people were to find out...

- F -

Just then, Justus, after getting a soda from the machine, saw the group of three at the pool table. "Hey, Justus, want to play with us?" Blaine asked.

"Naw, man, not interested," Justus said. "I don't want to play no game where the white ball knocks the colored balls into the holes."

"You don't know what you're missing!" Ashlynn said, and then she hit the cue ball with the stick, and it knocked the orange 5 ball into the pocket. Just as Justus was about to leave, Ashlynn then handed the cue stick to Desirae.

"Let me show y'all how it's done!" Desirae said, and with the cue stick, she angled her shot so that the ball hit the remaining balls and knocked them into their pockets. "SHAZAM!" Justus saw this and was impressed... not just because he was watching her from behind.

"On second thought..." Justus said as he picked up a cue stick, "...I'ma play after all." Ashlynn picked up the balls and set them on the pool table to start a new game.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ASHLYNN: So Justus didn't want to play pool before, but after he sees Desirae playing, he suddenly decides he's interested. I don't get him sometimes!

JUSTUS: So? I just imagine that the cue ball is that white boy Payson, which give me a good excuse to hit it with a stick over and over again! He may have avoided gettin' voted off tonight... but tomorrow will be a different story, y'all!

- F -

As soon as Desirae picked up her cue stick, she leaned over, and Justus caught another glimpse of her from behind. Justus had a grin on his face the entire time as Desirae lined up another shot.

"Daaaaaang, she fine," Justus said after Desirae sank some colored balls.

"Um... do y'all mind watchin' from somewhere else?" Desirae said as she handed the cue stick to Justus.

"As you wish, your majesty," Justus said, as he took the cue stick and lined up a shot. Ashlynn and Blaine giggled.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: Ever since Justus end up on ma team, he been takin' a good look at ma booty lately. I know ma booty may have been the talk of the dance floor, but I ain't on the dance floor, and he still lookin' at it! What kind of pool halls has that brutha been to lately?

JUSTUS: Dezzy's booty? Yeah, I would hit that. I would tap it with as much force as necessary. But not too hard though, 'cuz then Dezzy won't have anythang left. How she gon' shake her booty when she got nothin' to shake?

- F -

Meanwhile, Ward, Quillon and Odessa were watching a memorable scene from the penultimate episode of the first season (with closed captioning for Odessa, of course), in which Heather lost her last dare and had her head shaved. The three contestants laughed at her bald head.

"For all that she did, she certainly deserved it back then, ese," Quillon said.

"Lookin' at her bald never gets old, bro," Ward laughed. "Look at that... she looks just like Sinéad O'Connor!"

"Who?" Odessa asked. "Who is she?"

"You know, Sinéad O'Connor?" Ward said. "The female singer who had a bald head?"

Odessa was confused. "I don't listen to music, so I don't know what you're talking about," she said. Ward realized what he just said and facepalmed.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: I should have known Odessa was deaf, and couldn't listen to music! Stupid, Ward! Stupid!

ODESSA: Well, all I know about Sinéad O'Connor is that she's a woman who had a bald head at one point, so I hate to admit it, but I've known more about music from that one conversation than before I was on the show!

- F -

While the three were watching the rest of the episode, Talwen got had just finished reading her book, and approached them. "Having fun, you three?" she said.

"Yeah, this episode is a fan favorite!" Quillon replied.

"Heather just got her head shaved... it's really funny!" Ward said. "Want to watch it with us?"

"Why not... as long as it's not my hair getting that treatment!" Talwen replied, and watched the episode with them.

"I think we should come first a lot more challenges," Quillon said. "This place is chido, ese!"

"It really is," Ward said. "Whatever that means."

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

QUILLON: I really liked the last Bonfire Ceremony, vato. It allowed all of us to vote someone off, even if we haven't lost any challenges yet! I think there are like four of us left in the game who haven't been in last place at some point, me bein' among them, ese, and I want to keep it that way durin' the premerge!

TALWEN: I like that this Team Beta is an improvement over the original one. For one thing, it wasn't gender-divided like the last one was; for another, this arrangement of eight has yet to be on the receiving end of a Bonfire Ceremony; and for yet another thing, any conflicts any of us have are with members of other teams! When it's not infighting, I will gladly take it!

- F -

[TEAM OMEGA - DUO CABINS - BOYS' CABIN]

Payson was relieved that he was on the giving end, not the receiving end, of votes at the last Bonfire Ceremony. He put his cap and his shades into pack and hoped he would not have to wear them again... until the time was right, that is. He then had a friendly conversation with Kieran and Ross to lighten the mood.

"Nice job turnin' thin's round for our team, mon!" Ross cheered.

"Congrats, bro!" Kieran said, patting Payson on the back.

"Aw... you're just congratulating me because if we lost, I would've been the target, right?" Payson said.

"Don' be silly, mon!" Ross said. "You really brought de irie out dere!"

"Justus from the other team said he wanted to see your skills... and he did!" Kieran said to Payson.

"I guess you're right!" Payson said excitedly.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

KIERAN: Payson may have been the hero in the last challenge, but he's still got a lot to learn when it comes to cool. I may have to teach the kid one day...

PAYSON: I would give anything to be as cool as Kieran! I asked my 'rents for a leather jacket once, but they said it was way too expensive! I tried saving to earn one for my own... but I kinda bought the leather jacket before trying it on to see if it would fit me, and it was way too big, bro! Even when I went into "rapper" mode, I tried it on, still too big. I will definitely be using the prize money, if I win it, to buy a leather jacket that fits... maybe buy some real bling this time... the ladies like that combination, right?

ROSS: It's been a long time since me been on de same team as Justus. Me know Justus have a t'ing 'gainst white people, and you saw him 'gainst Payson! Me t'ink Justus' yeye too red, mon. Him be wilda' dan any of de wild animals 'round here! Somehow me glad me on a team away from him, 'cause he nuh easy! [He spins his volleyball on his finger.]

- F -

[TEAM OMEGA - DUO CABINS - GIRLS' CABIN]

The girls were also relieved that they were spared from having to vote one of their own off. Luna, still in her Monkey Girl persona from the last episode, started swinging from one of the bedposts by her arms.

"Ook ook ook!" Luna shouted. "Monkey Girl is pleased that her enemy Morganne got what she deserved tonight! She shall be hit with bananas... even better, banana cream pies!" Ireland and Francesca started giggling at Luna's speech... and Velandra, while trying to hide it, started to giggle too.

"I know you don't make sense, chica, but sometimes I like that," Velandra said to Luna.

"Yaysies! Monkey Girl is happy!" Luna beamed.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

LUNA: Here's a fun fact: a monkey has never won any season of Total Drama. Monkey Girl wishes to change that!

VELANDRA: Sure, Luna can be annoying, but to tell you the truth, if we went back to the Bonfire Ceremony, I would rather have her around over Payson. Sure, Luna pretends to be someone she isn't, but she tells you beforehand who she's going to be! Payson is better off being himself, and I hope he finally got rid of that stupid rapper persona so I don't have to do the same thing to him!

- F -

As soon as Ireland put her clothes away, Francesca began talking with her. "Wow, it's interesting that Kieran helped you throughout the challenge!" she said. "I mean, usually he just kinda goes off on his own like that."

"Well, we really like each other," Ireland said.

"Ooh!" Luna beamed while swinging upside-down from one of the bunks. "This pleases Monkey Girl!"

"Wow, that's a surprise," said Francesca. "I never thought you'd be able to land someone like him... I never thought anyone would do that... it's nice that you like him!"

"So... do you like Ross?" said Ireland to Francesca. Francesca became nervous.

"It... it's not like that!" Francesca said. "He's always trying to one-up me, so of course we wouldn't be interested in each other!"

"Come on, admit it, chica," Velandra said while winking. "He's into you, and you're into him, so don't deny it!"

"We aren't into each other, okay?" Francesca said, putting some of her sports equipment into a drawer. "We're rivals, and that's probably how it's going to be! Okay?" She then left the cabin, presumably to use the Camera Confessional outside.

"So, does she like him or not?" Luna asked Velandra and Ireland.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: This is like Brick and Jo all over again! When I like someone, I admit it... and when I hate someone, particularly when they litter, I admit it too!

FRANCESCA: I wish people would stop telling me that I'm into Ross... which I'm not, by the way. I'm not into romance yet... and even if I was, Ross would probably not be the guy for me! But then again, he likes his sports, like I do, and I like guys who are into sports... ...oh, what am I saying? It will never happen, no matter what anyone else here thinks! Okay? End of discussion!

LUNA: She really likes him! How do I know? Just call it a monkey's intuition.

- F -

[TEAM ALPHA - LOSER CABIN]

If the Loser Cabin could talk, it would probably be thrilled to greet Team Alpha for the first time. But then again, cabins cannot speak... at least, not yet. In any case, the seven members of Team Alpha began to settle down in their new home.

"Well, we're down to seven now," Connor said. "Let's hope we don't have to decrease our numbers further than that."

"Agreed," Hektor said. "Although the probability of us dropping to six members is 7 in 22!"

"I thought it was 1 in 3," Gareth said.

"Well, that too," said Hektor.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

GARETH: It seems like fate is toying with me. First, I'm on the losing team. Then I'm on the winning team. Then I'm on the losing team again. Then I'm on the winning team again. Then I'm on the losing team again! I hope I get to be on the winning team this time, but still... I don't like being treated like a yo-yo!

- F -

The girls were still unpacking their clothes, while Zakeri settled into bed. "So... York..." he said. "About what you said about Morganne... about her winning if she makes it far... could that be true?"

"Well, we won't know now, since she's not here," York said. "But I think she's seen like every reality show in existence, even some I've never even heard of... and I didn't want to risk being blindsided by some obscure strategy from nowhere."

"So maybe that was why the challenge was thrown today," Unique said, with a raised eyebrow. "I knew it!"

"But the rest of us are still here, aren't we?" York said with a smile. "And that's what really matters, right?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Nevaeh said.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: The Bonfire Ceremony was like one of the best ever! I took out Miss Reality Encyclopedia because hey, someone had to do it. Oh, those glasses of yours? Yeah, they still don't let you see blindsides! In fact, no glasses in the world do, so deal with it, missy.

UNIQUE: What York said that night confirmed my suspicion that she threw the challenge after all... but at least I can be thankful for two things... 1) she didn't blindside moi, and 2) she didn't get rid of any of the boys! Particularly Zakeri and his washboard stomach... I haven't even started massaging it yet!

- F -

- DAY 6 -

The sun's rays peeked through the cabin windows and woke the campers up. Unique brought Hektor and Zakeri with her to a secluded clearing in camp where they could see plenty of majestic waterfalls.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

HEKTOR: After I was having this magnificent dream about quadratic equations, Unique decided woke Zakeri and I up and took us to this beautiful place. She's so pretty... I mean, the place was pretty too!

- F -

"Aiyaah..." Hektor said, as he stared at one of the waterfalls. "It's so lovely..."

"Yeah, it's a shame we're not going to see it much longer if we lose again," Unique said. "Those four could easily get rid of us three... particularly you two," she said to Hektor and Zakeri while she stroked their chins.

"Then losing is no option," Zakeri said, as he started training. "Today, we must win!"

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ZAKERI: The last Bonfire Ceremony left the former Team Omega members in a group of four, with just me, Unique and Hektor on the other side. In the martial arts movies, when heroes are outnumbered, they usually tend to defeat large groups with their powers. But here, where violence could get you disqualified, we have to use our wits to survive... I may have to find some material to make a fake idol if the situation calls for it! It's what Morganne would have wanted.

- F -

At this point, Connor and Nevaeh walked over to the three of them. "Hey, you three, breakfast is ready," Connor said.

"Oh, that's all right," said Unique. "I got my fill for the day!" she giggled.

"By the way, since she's not here," Hektor said. "Would you like to switch sides and vote York off if we lose again?"

"I'm hoping we don't lose, but we'll consider the offer," Nevaeh said.

"We'll do it!" Connor said, and he and Hektor shook hands.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: I have to give those three kudos for wanting us to go against York like that. She is part of our alliance, but if she starts throwing challenges again, well, let's just say that if she were in my father's business, she'd be "fired", so to speak.

NEVAEH: Zakeri, Unique, and Hektor are really nice people... York, well, she seems a bit mean, though not as mean as people like Scott. Scott... urgh... I was glad I was not on his season... I probably would not have survived if I was on a team with him!

- F -

[MESS HALL]

A fun feast consisting of flapjacks, French toast, fruit salad, and fruit juice was given to the campers by Chef, and they agreed... it was their favorite food yet!

Chris' voice over the loudspeakers accompanied the breakfast. "How are you doing, campers? The next challenge is almost ready... and 'F' you can handle it, you can win!" Chris laughed, of course, and the campers resumed eating as if nothing happened.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

VELANDRA: So the next challenge is about the letter F. If this ends up being a farting contest, I am definitely getting out of here!

WARD: The letter F could stand for a lot of things... it could stand for football, because you know how I love FOOTBALL! I hope this doesn't stand for the F I got on my last report card and... hey! WHY ARE YOU STILL LAUGHING AT THAT?!

- F -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

The challenge area this time took place on one of the beach areas of the campsite. There were lots of sticks and stuff, and plenty of lit torches, like it was a luau or something. The 22 campers were greeted by Chris, who held two torches in his hands, and started doing some impressive juggling moves with them! The campers were stunned at Chris' talent and were mesmerized by the juggling flames!

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: I knew Chris liked to show off, but daaaang, he playin' with fire! I'm surprised he don't end up setting New Wawanakwa ablaze after that move!

- F -

"Campers, on some reality shows, they say fire is life," Chris said to the 22 contestants. "On other shows, they say fire is death, but in this case..." Chris pulled out a letter F. "F... is for Fire! Are you all fired up for this challenge?" No one laughed at Chris' joke.

"Well, too bad! Also, before I start the challenge, I have a twist... F is for Four or Five! In other words, you three teams get to choose how many of you will get to do the challenge today! There may be some advantages with four people, but on the other hand, there may be some situations where five will do nicely! Team Beta, since you won the last challenge, you get to choose first!"

The members of Team Beta huddled together, until Justus made a decision. "I'll say five," he said.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

JUSTUS: We at Team Beta are the biggest team left in the competition, so why not go all out with five? The more of us means the less work I have to do, so why not? And I do want to compete to put Poser Boy in his place!

- F -

"Okay," Chris said. "Team Omega, you're up!"

Suddenly, there was huddling among Team Omega as well. The huddle ended when Francesca spoke up, "Eh, Team Beta is bluffing. We can handle four easily!"

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

FRANCESCA: So, say what you will, but we've got some strong players on Team Omega! I chose four because I think Chris was going to force a team to have four players compete anyway, so I thought, what the heck, let's get it over with. Ross, Kieran and I are givens... we haven't thought of a fourth yet, but we think Luna might be a good fourth one... after we saw her beating her chest last night during her "Monkey Girl" phase!

LUNA: Beating my chest was fun! It allowed me to assert myself as top banana among the monkey people... get it? It's a joke, those who are lower on the evolutionary charts wouldn't understand it!

- F -

"Finally, Team Alpha," Chris said. "Four or five?"

The members of Team Alpha got into a huddle. "We'll do four as well," said York. The other members of Team Alpha were surprised by her decision.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: Okay, in hindsight, maybe throwing the challenge to get rid of Morganne wasn't the best idea ever, as our team is still left with a lot of weak people on it. So I thought it would be good to have a fewer number of people competing, that way, there will be more stragglers sitting out these competitions, because I'm pretty sure that's what they're good at!

- F -

"Okay, now that you've decided how many of you will compete, I will explain the challenge!" Chris said. "F is for Fishing Festival Free-For-All! There are three parts to this challenge... all involving items that are brought to you by the letter F! For the first part, four or five of you will have to gather some firewood over there, bring it to your fire-making station, and make a fire that is high enough to burn a rope that is attached to a flag! When the flag is released, the next part of the challenge will begin, where four or five of you will have to go into a fishing boat, and use the fishing rods inside to catch one fish each! After you have each caught a fish, the third and final part of the challenge will begin, and four or five of you each have to eat an entire fish, and show me an empty mouth! The first two teams to eat all their fish will win invincibility, and the losing team? Well, not only will they have to vote someone off, but they'll probably end up smelling like fish at the end of the day!" Chris laughed, but the other contestants didn't. "Oh, and one more thing... each member of your team has to do at least one of these three challenges, so no one is sitting out entirely. Heck, a team member can do all three, it's your decision!"

At this point, Talwen grew suspicious. "Hmm... fire-making... fishing... fish-eating... wasn't this challenge used on another reality show... you know, Outlaster?"

"Um, no, it wasn't," Chris said defensively. "This is a completely original challenge, so shut up!"

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

TALWEN: Yep, you can tell that he stole the challenge from Outlaster. But then again, all the challenges in Outlaster included bags of puzzle pieces as well, so it's not like he completely ripped them off.

PAYSON: When Chris said that a team member can do all three challenges, I figured that Justus would want to do all of them just to show me up... so I decided, what the hey, I might as well do them too! He wants a showdown... I'm going to give him one!

- F -

After a while, the teams were set up for the first part of the three-part challenge. Five people would gather the firewood for Team Beta, and they were Justus, Ward, Quillon, Odessa, and Desirae. Teams Alpha and Omega, however, had to send four people out; Connor, Nevaeh, Unique, and Zakeri for Team Alpha, and Payson, Ross, Ireland, and Francesca for Team Omega. It was clear that Team Beta had a bit of an advantage over the other two teams (unless you combined those two into one, that is).

Chris was still doing his fire juggling while group of thirteen. "The first part of the challenge is underway! Let's see some friction, campers!"

"Question!" Nevaeh said. "Are you sure this challenge is safe?"

"Of course it is!" Chris said. "In fact, we even had our two newest interns test it out, and they're experts in fire themselves! Come on out, interns!"

Chris' two latest interns appeared. One was a boy with black and orange hair, a black shirt with a symbol of a flame on it, orange pants, and black shoes. The other was a girl with brown hair with orange streaks in it, and mostly orange clothes (with the phrase "Flame is the fire of my life" on her top).

"So, interns," said Chris, "any advice for our budding pyromaniacs?"

"Well, I would suggest you look for dry softwood... like aspen, cottonwood, and juniper," the male intern said to the contestants. "That type of wood tends to burn faster, in my opinion! Also, use a stick that is at least two feet long as a spindle and-"

"Or you can use this baby!" the female intern interrupted, proudly showing off her orange lighter, which she kept flicking on and off. "Heh heh... fire is so cool!"

"Um, one more thing, the contestants aren't allowed to use any lighters or matches during this challenge!" Chris said.

"Aw... it worked in season 1," the female intern said, disappointed.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

RHENEAS: I do not know how she managed to smuggle a lighter on her person, but at least I tend to keep my pyromania well under control!

IGNEOUS: One day this camp will burn to the ground! It will burn in a picture perfect display of red, orange, and yellow! Mwa ha ha ha ha! [She flicks her lighter on and off and looks at it.]

NEVAEH: That girl scares me! I'm really afraid to get near her! What if she burns my arm off? She could very well do it, you know!

- F -

Chef, in Hawaiian luau garb consisting of coconut bra and grass skirt, blew a conch shell, signaling the start of the challenge. The thirteen contestants present ran as fast as they could to the giant pile of firewood, trying to gather as much as they can to bring back to their fire stations... and as you can tell, Team Beta is having the easiest time with this challenge thanks to their decision to send out five players instead of four... particularly when one of those players just happens to be Ward, whose big, strong body enabled him to pick up really big bundles of firewood... thus causing Team Beta's pile to become more than double... make that more than triple the size of the other two piles after one trip!

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: When I saw Ward bringing all that firewood to Team Beta's station, I knew that they were going to have a huge lead over us... there is no way I could carry that much in my hands and still remain standing!

ROSS: Mon, me have enough problem losin' to Franny-girl... Ward? Him... him be a giant. Me nuh jesta'. If me have a volleyball match 'gainst he, him probably gon' t'row ball so far across de otha' side of de field, it nuh come back for weeks!

WARD: That wood may have been strong, but it was no match for these arms, bro! Who's strong now, firewood? WHO'S STRONG NOW? TEAM BETA IS GOING TO MOP THE FLOOR WITH YOU! YEEEEEAH!

ASHLYNN: Okay, Ward may be a useful guy to have on our team, but he tends to shout a lot... usually in the Confessional Outhouse. I swear, I can be like ten, twenty meters away, and I know when he's giving a confessional since I can hear him. But then again, someone has to be the designated shouter in this type of situation... it's like this on every reality series!

- F -

Despite the huge size of Team Beta's pile of firewood, Ross' and Francesca's strengths enabled Team Omega to catch up with own their pile. Zakeri was just as strong as Ward was, and was doing a good job putting Team Alpha in close proximity.

"A'ight, we gon' light this bad boy," Justus said to the other Team Beta members when he saw that the pile was high enough to his liking.

"Let me do it!" Igneous said, extending her lighter out. Chef and Rheneas quickly restrained her. "Aw, you guys are no fun!" she scowled.

Quillon searched the giant pile of firewood for two sticks that would be rubbed together to start a fire, and Odessa went looking with him. A tender moment where two lovebirds, one pink and one purple, roosted on a juniper branch in the giant pile and stared into each other's eyes lovingly was rudely interrupted when Odessa snatched the branch out from under their talons. "Sorry, but I need this!" she said to them. The two lovebirds were spinning wildly in the air after having their branch taken from them, and were now two blurs of pink and purple.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ODESSA: Back in the Shrub Scouts, I could tell which wood would be good for starting a campfire. I've memorized the entire manual like five or ten times... it tells me everything I needed to know about which wood is dry wood and which types of wood I should avoid.

- F -

Just as Odessa and Quillon were using the juniper branch like a spindle to get a spark going, the two lovebirds stopped spinning, and swooped toward the two Team Beta members angrily. They began flapping their wings and pecking at Odessa and Quillon!

"Ouch!" shouted Odessa, while being pecked by the purple lovebird.

"Hey, quit it, ese!" Quillon said to the pink lovebird.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ODESSA: Oh yeah... the manual didn't tell me what to do if some lovebirds attack you while you make your campfire! Nice job, Shrub Scouts!

- F -

While the two lovebirds were busy with Odessa and Quillon, Connor and Nevaeh took advantage of this, by working together to carry a heavy tree branch over to their fire station. Payson was dashing toward his fire station with a huge bundle of sticks, with Ireland close behind him.

"They catchin' up!" Justus said.

"I'ma handle this!" Desirae said as she picked up the branch that Odessa and Quillon dropped when the lovebirds were busy pecking at them. Justus set down one branch horizontally while Desirae placed that branch vertically on top of it, and began spindling with plenty of friction! And boy, was Justus happy watching her do it!

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

JUSTUS: That must be jelly, 'cuz jam don't shake like that!

DESIRAE: Boy really need to learn to stop lookin' at ma booty durin' every challenge.

- F -

Success! The friction had produced a flame. Desirae took the burning branch to Team Beta's fire station and used it to set fire to the giant pile of wood over there.

The lovebirds, now freaking out that their branch was now set on fire, stopped whaling on Odessa and Quillon and swooped toward Desirae. Desirae, now targeted by two divebombing lovebirds, countered with a quick dancing kick. "SHAZAM!" The two lovebirds were spinning out of control, and all Ireland could do was watch while she was bringing branches to Team Omega's station.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: I feel really sorry for those poor birds... I hope no more animals get injured this season!

QUILLON: Sheesh... I'm just glad those birds didn't TP our cabin like those Cocodrilos did to my family's casa when I was in grade 5, vato. We had to spend like so much money having to clean the walls of that place.

- F -

After seeing Team Beta's pile of firewood now set ablaze, the members of the other teams decided it would be a good idea to start trying to get some friction going. Unique found two sticks in the giant pile and began rubbing them as frantically as she could.

For some reason, Justus was enjoying watching Unique rub the two sticks together as much as he was enjoying watching Desirae do it!

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: Oh well, at least he has somethin' to stare at other than me for a change!

JUSTUS: Those two sistas are why the first part of the challenge was the best ever!

UNIQUE: I know I have a hot body, but please... isn't this a bit too much, Justus?

- F -

Thanks to Unique, Team Alpha had fire! "Nevaeh, would you do the honors?" Unique said to Nevaeh, who took the lit stick from Unique's hand, and set fire to the pile of firewood at their station. Connor and Zakeri quickly searched for more firewood to add to their pile to keep the fire burning.

There was friction on Team Omega... however, it was from Francesca and Ross arguing after the two of them have been trying to rub two sticks together, but have yet to succeed.

"Why don't you go faster?" Francesca shouted to Ross. "You're too slow... slowbie!"

"Nuh-uh!" Ross shouted back. "Maybe it's just de wrong wood you brought back or somet'in'!"

"Shyeah... right!" Francesca said in disbelief.

Payson, who had brought some more sticks back to add to his team's pile, watched the argument, and got shocked.

"Aw, how cute!" Quillon said watching the fight while bringing back some firewood to keep his team's fire going. "They're like a married couple, homes!"

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

PAYSON: My teammates say these two are in love... please, bro! Give me a freakin' break!

FRANCESCA: I do not love him!

ROSS: Me nuh love she!

QUILLON: They're gonna have to admit it sooner or later, man. I mean, the rest of us here can totally tell.

- F -

In spite of Francesca and Ross arguing, they have finally managed to get a spark going. "Yes!" Payson exclaimed. "We're back in this, everyone!" The new flame was added to Team Omega's pile of firewood when Francesca set it ablaze. Ross and Ireland stoked the fire by adding more firewood to their pile... while the other two teams quickly did the same. Eventually, one team's fire was high enough to cut through the rope at their fire station.

It was Team Beta's.

Justus, Desirae, Ward, Quillon and Odessa cheered when they saw that their red flag had appeared.

- F -

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JUSTUS: Heck to the yeah, baby! When I saw that flag, I knew that we were going to the Luxury Cabin back to back... only on Total Drama can you get away with burnin' stuff! I'd love to take my homegirl Desirae to the hot tub tonight and give her a little somethin'-somethin' to celebrate... [He rubs his hands together.]

DESIRAE: Daaang, that boy need to learn how to behave! I mean, that fire was easier to handle than he was, sug'! ...I mean, not that I don't like men who act that way... but Desirae could be in for one wild night tonight, believe you me!

- F -

"Team Beta has completed the first part of their challenge! They can move on to the second part, which means the rest of you need to move it!" Chris announced to the teams. Justus and Ward moved on to the fishing boat where Talwen, Blaine and Ashlynn were waiting.

Meanwhile, a second team had gotten their fire high enough to burn their rope.

It was Team Alpha. The green flag's appearance made Unique, Nevaeh, Connor and Zakeri very happy.

- F -

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NEVAEH: Oh my gosh... I cannot believe I helped my team win a fire-making challenge! That's very extreme for me, because fires are usually kinda dangerous... I mean, back at home, I haven't been allowed anywhere near a box of matches!

ZAKERI: I think it's safe to assume the challenge was not thrown this time around... I volunteered to do all three parts not just because, well, I am the "muscle" of the team, but I am getting more suspicious... if there is a mole on our team, like there might have been the other day, I will find out!

- F -

"Team Alpha has completed their first part! Team Omega, what the heck is wrong with you today?" Chris shouted. While Team Omega was still trying to get their fire going (and were scowling at Chris' remark), Zakeri joined Gareth, Hektor and York at their team's fishing boat. As soon as they got in, Team Beta had already gotten all five of their teammates in, and started rowing.

"You may have beaten us now, but we'll catch up to you!" York shouted to Justus.

"Oh yeah?" Justus shouted back.

"Yeah!" Gareth shouted. "We only have to catch four fish to your five!"

"Yeah, remember?" York said.

Justus facepalmed.

- F -

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JUSTUS: Dang these wack twists!

YORK: The look on his face was priceless... I should've brought my camera with me!

- F -

It may have taken them a minute longer, but Team Omega's fire was finally high enough to burn the rope that stood between them and the next part of the challenge. The purple flag was raised, and this pleased Francesca, Ross, Payson and Ireland.

"Finally, Team Omega is on the board!" Chris said. "Now join the other teams and hope you don't lose to them again." Francesca and Payson ran towards Kieran and Luna, who were waiting for them at the fishing boat.

"It's about freaking time," Kieran said.

"We still got this, bro," Payson said, giving Kieran a high-five, and then they entered the boat with Francesca and Luna.

"Y'arr, mateys!" Luna said in an over-the-top pirate accent. "Team Omega owns these waters, and those trespassin' scallywags are about to be keelhauled! Arr!"

Payson, Kieran, and Francesca were silent for a few minutes... then they laughed.

- F -

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KIERAN: Now she's a pirate? [laughs] What is this, I don't even...

LUNA: Arr, matey! The name's Lunabeard, famed pirate queen and scourge of the seven seas... at least, there were seven of them when I last counted them! When me and me hearty pirate crew heard about this fishin' festival, how could I turn down such an opportunity? Yar har har!

- F -

The five Team Beta members cast their fishing rods in the water, while the four Team Alpha members did the same. All they had to do was wait for a bite...

"I don't think we've got anything," Ashlynn said.

"How about you?" Blaine said to Hektor.

Hektor felt something on his pole. "I think I have something!" Hektor pulled it up... and it turned out to be an old boot. "Wait... this is just a boot. Our mistake."

Talwen felt something. "This could be our chance!" ...But it turned out to be an old boot too. "Oh well, maybe not. We have an old boot too."

"Aiyaah!" Hektor said. "That boot matches the one we just have!"

"Would you like this one?" Talwen said. "Then you'll have a pair!"

- F -

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BLAINE: I think this pond is where Chris gets his shoes from. That way, he doesn't have to spend any money at those expensive shoe stores!

CHRIS: How did Blaine know my secret? Did his sister tell him? How do people get this stuff anyway?

- F -

Suddenly, after a while, Ashlynn felt a tug on her line. She reeled it in to see what it was. It was a fish. "Yay, I caught a fish!" she said. "One down... four to go."

She saw that Zakeri had also caught a fish. "I guess this pond doesn't contain just old boots!" he said as he reeled the fish in. "Fish swim here... apparently."

As the remaining teammates were trying to hook some fish, the four Team Omega members showed up. "What did we miss?" Payson asked.

"You just missed an epic battle of mankind versus the creatures of the deep!" Blaine said to Payson. Blaine then felt a tug on his line, and reeled it in and pulled up a fish. "And right now, mankind is winning!"

"Cool, brah," Payson said, as he and the other three members of Team Omega cast their fishing rods into the water. Francesca felt a bite on hers. She reeled it in. "Ha!" Francesca said, as she succesfully pulled a fish out of the water. "I'm not even a minute in the water and I catch one already!"

- F -

Meanwhile, in the waters beneath where the teams were fishing...

There were fishhooks everywhere, and the fish that dwelled within the water did not like that four of their own kind have been taken from them so soon. With angry glares on their faces, the fish had to defend themselves, and fast.

The fish got together in schools and picked up some of the old discarded boots that were lying below...

- F -

The thirteen contestants in their fishing boats did not expect a huge barrage of footwear flying at them. Those were some fierce fish!

"Ow!" shouted Ashlynn as she was pelted with a boot.

Gareth was hit with one boot, then another boot, and then another.

"Quit it!" he shouted. "This is the complete opposite of funny!"

- F -

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GARETH: This is basically all of junior high plus grade 9 in less than a single day!

TALWEN: I see that the fish have better taste in shoes than Chris does! They know they cannot wear them... though I do wish they would take it out on Chris instead of any of us.

- F -

If the fish were going to fight dirty... then so were the contestants. Many of them, like Ward, York, and Luna picked up the boots that were thrown at them, and threw them back into the water.

"You're goin' down, fishies!" York said as she threw a boot that a fish threw at her earlier.

"Yarr, matey! Ye'll be sleepin' in Davy Jones' locker!" Luna said in her pirate accent, as she caught a boot that was thrown at her and threw it back into the water where it came from.

Ward was so busy throwing boots left and right into the water that he almost didn't realize a tug was on his line. He reeled it in... it was a fish, the third one for his team!

"Booyah!" Ward shouted, as he picked up the fish. "Only two left for us!"

Hektor and Gareth felt something on their lines. "Tai hao la! I've got a fish too!" Hektor said, excited about his catch. Gareth, however, wasn't as lucky. "Aw man, I got a boot!" He threw the boot back in the water in disappointment.

Luna was really excited when she saw that a fish had been caught on her line. "Shiver me timbers!" she shouted.

- F -

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LUNA: Neptune has provided our crew with a generous offering of food! We shall dine like kings and queens tonight! Yar har!

- F -

The three teams had two fish left to catch. Who would get them first?

Just then, more boots were flying toward the competitors. Justus picked one up, and threw it at... Payson!

"Ow!" Payson said. "What was that for?"

"Couldn't resist," Justus said, grinning.

Just then, Payson felt something on his fishing pole. He pulled up a fish! "Ha!" Payson shouted at Justus.

Justus felt his fishing pole move. He found that a fish had been hooked onto it! "Ha back!" Justus shouted at Payson.

Gareth saw his fishing pole shake. He reeled in another boot. "Aw man, how many of these are there?" he said before throwing it back.

York was fuming while she was watching this.

- F -

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YORK: This is just great. Now we're going back to Loser Cabin and Justus and Payson are going to stay and they are going to keep fighting with each other... actually, that last part doesn't sound too bad. It's fun to watch, actually!

- F -

York felt something on her fishing pole. "Now we're talking!" she said, as she reeled in the third fish for her team.

However, at the same time, Kieran and Talwen have caught fish as well. "Good things come to those who wait!" Kieran said to Talwen.

"I hear you!" Talwen said back.

"Teams Beta and Omega have completed the second part of the course!" Chris shouted. "Let the fish-eating begin!" Teams Beta and Omega rowed their boats back to the shore. After they exited the rowboats, Justus, Ward and Blaine met up with Quillon and Odessa, while Payson and Luna met up with Velandra and Ross.

- F -

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JUSTUS: We basically owned the first two parts of the challenge, but Payson and crew have caught up with us. I knew the final challenge was make it or break it... but I'm hungry for some fish... and another victory! Bring it, Chris!

PAYSON: I was glad I brought Team Omega to second place last time... but this time, it's all for first place, bro! Maybe Justus would like some crow to go with that fish!

- F -

The group of nine approached the tables like a stampede of wild animals about to devour their prey. Alyssa pulled the red and purple tablecloths off, and behold! Plates each containing a whole fish on them were set in front of the contestants; five for Team Beta and four for Team Omega.

"Dinner is served!" Alyssa said to the contestants.

"Don't give her ideas," Blaine said to Alyssa, while motioning toward Luna.

"Yarr, matey! All hands on deck! A hearty feast shall be our reward after a day of plunderin', savvy?" Luna said in her pirate accent.

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind," Alyssa said, as she wrote something down on her notepad.

- F -

The nine contestants sat down at their tables and looked at the fish in front of them. It was safe to say that the fish on their plates would not be throwing old boots at anyone anytime soon.

Moreover, the fish on their plates were huge!

Several of the contestants, however, immediately chowed down. Ward immediately dug in and took big bites, while Justus and Payson, each wanting to outdo the other, dove right in as well. The other contestants, though not quite as eager as those three, started eating...

However, Blaine was a bit hesitant about eating his...

- F -

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BLAINE: I know the final challenge is eating a fish, but that thing... it's bigger than I am! If I eat that, it would be like eating two of me... and I do not feel like self-cannibalism!

- F -

Meanwhile, Team Alpha was still in their fishing boats, trying to get that last fish. Zakeri, Hektor and York have all caught theirs... it was all up to Gareth now.

York was obviously impatient. "Come on and catch one already," she said with an angry expression on her face.

Gareth felt his line move again. He reeled it in, anticipating a fish this time, and what he saw was...

"Argh! Not another boot again!" Gareth was really angry, he pulled the boot off the fishing hook to throw it back in the water...

...but what he saw was that there was a fish on his hook where the boot was. Gareth had caught the fourth fish for his team!

"Finally!" Gareth said. "We are back in this!"

- F -

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HEKTOR: Aiyaah... that was close. That took up a lot of our time, and it would take a miracle to get us in first now. But right now, I'll settle for the much higher probability of coming in second.

GARETH: I knew I could do it if I tried! All I had to do was believe. It's gotten me this far, right?

ZAKERI: I kept my eyes on York throughout the challenge, and I know she didn't sabotage any of our fishing rods. So far, so good...

YORK: Like I would go near the other's fishing poles! I'm trying to win the challenge this time! Weren't you paying attention?

- F -

"What took you?" Chris shouted to Team Alpha. "The other two teams are way ahead of you, so if you don't want to go back to the Bonfire Ceremony a second time, you'd better haul oar and get to it! Chop chop!" Team Alpha rowed frantically to the shore, and once they got out of the boat, Hektor, Zakeri and York met up with Unique.

- F -

The fish might have been big, but Ward's stomach and appetite were bigger. He wolfed down virtually the entire fish (just like Owen would have done if he was a competitor this season), and when he swallowed it down, he showed an empty mouth.

"Ward is okay!" Chef said.

The four Team Alpha members rushed over to the tables where the others were eating. They were seeing that Justus and Payson were eyeing each other while they were frantically trying to finish off their own fish.

"It's gonna be close!" York said. "Who is going to win?"

- F -

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YORK: The answer? Neither of them, since they're both losers! But then, you knew that already.

- F -

After Alyssa pulled the green tablecloth off, the four members of Team Alpha sat down to eat. It was then that Justus and Payson have both finished their fishes, and showed an empty mouth - at the same time!

"Justus and Payson are okay!" Chef shouted.

Justus and Payson looked at each other... they didn't expect this outcome! "I will beat you one day," Payson said to Justus.

"Don't count on it, boy," Justus said back.

Another contestant had finished her fish... it was Velandra! She showed everyone her empty mouth. "Velandra's all right!" Chef announced.

"I hope I don't have to do that again, chico," Velandra said in embarrassment.

A great deal of the members of Team Alpha were just starting to dive into their fishes. It would take a miracle for them to catch up to the others... most of the members of the other two teams have wolfed down more than half of theirs!

- F -

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UNIQUE: We were behind the other two teams at this point, so in order to not be in last again, I would have to swallow my pride... and about a ton of seafood.

- F -

Luna had finished her fish, and showed Chef an empty mouth. "Luna's done!" Chef shouted.

"Yarr, 'tis a great feast that ye have prepared from the ocean floor, me hearty!" Luna said to Chef. "Ye shall be great help in the galley!"

"Uh, whatever you say, girly," said Chef.

Odessa finished her fish, and showed Chef an empty mouth. "Odessa, you're okay!" Chef said.

"Thank my strong sense of taste for that one!" Odessa said. Quillon, still chewing on his fish, gave her a thumbs up.

It was at this point that a Team Alpha member had finally finished his fish. Zakeri showed Chef an empty mouth. "Zakeri puts Team Alpha on the board!" Chef said. "I hope I wasn't too late," Zakeri replied.

Then he started looking at Unique, Hektor, and York very carefully.

- F -

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ZAKERI: Since I was the first one on my team to finish, what did I do? I watched the others on my team, of course. You can tell I do not want Team Alpha to come in last again.

YORK: Seriously, Zakeri was just looking at me while I was eating. What next, is he going to be watching me while I take a shower? I have one word for you... ew.

- F -

It was getting close. Blaine and Quillon were still eating for Team Beta. Ross was the only one still eating for Team Omega, while Unique, Hektor and York were not done yet.

Quillon had finished off his fish dish, and showed an empty mouth. "Quillon's fine!" Chef announced. "One more to go, ese!" Quillon shouted.

Just then, Ross had finished off his plate. After he swallowed the remaining bits of fish down his esophagus, he provided an empty mouth. "Ross clears it!" Chef announced.

"Team Omega wins invincibility!" Chris announced. Ross, Luna, Velandra and Payson whooped it up in celebration!

- F -

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ROSS: Ah sey one! Team Omega nuh goin' back to de Bonfire! Me swear, me must have nyam more fish than me team after every Total Drama viewin' party!

- F -

Blaine knew it was all up to him now. But he was starting to feel a bit queasy from eating all that fish. "I feel sick..." he started to say.

"Aw man, not now!" Justus said. "We need y'all to finish!"

"Hang in there, Blaine!" Ward said.

It was then that Unique completely ate her fish, and showed Chef an empty mouth. "Unique is done, y'all!" Chef said.

Blaine was not even done with his fish yet, and he saw that Hektor and York were getting closer to completing theirs! You could tell Blaine was nervous.

York had just finally completed her fish, and displayed an empty mouth as proof. "York is finished!" Chef said.

York gave an arrogant smirk across her face. "What's the matter, Blaine?" York said. "Don't like losing to a girl?"

Blaine was really nervous.

- F -

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BLAINE: We had this lead over the others, and we're losing it, like that, all because of this fish we had to eat... or rather, the fish that I had to eat. I was hoping that one of the others would have as much trouble with their fish as I had with mine...

- F -

Blaine saw that Hektor was about to finish the rest of his fish, when Blaine took his remaining piece of fish, which was probably bigger than Hektor's, and put it all in his mouth at once, while Hektor was taking it easy one bite at a time.

Blaine was having trouble trying to swallow his entire piece at once, while Hektor didn't seem to have much trouble. Blaine's face started turning green... the other members of Team Beta could tell it wasn't a good sign.

"Man, what's wrong witchoo?" Justus said. "We need you, man!"

It was at this point that Blaine's fish quickly came out of Blaine's mouth quicker than it went in there... in other words, Blaine vomited the fish onto his plate.

"Whoa, ese," said Quillon.

While Hektor finished the rest of his fish, swallowed it, and showed the others an empty mouth. "We have a winner!" Chef announced.

"Team Alpha, you also have invincibility!" Chris said to Team Alpha. "Enjoy the cabin that isn't quite the Luxury Cabin, but will do anyway!" York, Unique, Hektor and Zakeri cheered.

The five members of Team Beta were disappointed. Justus, Odessa, Quillon and Ward glared angrily at Blaine.

- F -

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JUSTUS: Oh heck naw! We had the lead over those other two, only to have it taken from us by this last challenge! Man, we thought coming in this challenge with five instead of four would work in our favor!

- F -

Blaine was still reeling from having to throw up his fish dinner. "Oh man, this is why my sister made Chef cook different food for her instead on her season," he said while in a daze.

But Blaine said that when everyone else, his teammates, as well as the members of the other teams, were within earshot... or in Odessa's case, within range of lip-reading! He had accidentally blurted out a secret that he didn't want people to know! He covered his mouth in embarrassment!

"Oh crap..." he said under his breath.

- F -

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VELANDRA: I may have participated in this challenge just for eating, but I'm glad I got to witness this! I suspected Blaine was hidin' something, and my suspicions were correct!

ZAKERI: Maybe I was spending too much time watching my teammates that I didn't notice this!

ODESSA: I must have read his lips wrong... did he say what I thought he said?

LUNA: Yarr! Blaine be related to the sea witch? This be mutiny! He shall walk the plank!

WARD: Wait... you're telling me Blaine is related to the Blaineley? Wait, Blaineley's the talk show hostess with the hot body, right? If so, that's awesome! ...But yeah, I don't like that he hid that from me.

YORK: This. Changes. Everything! [She rubs her hands together and grins evilly.]

QUILLON: I should have known something was up... "Blaine"? "Blaineley"? Ay, how could I have not figured that out from the beginning?

PAYSON: Oh man... and I thought I was the only poser here!

JUSTUS: Payson, you stayin' for now. I'ma deal with this white guy who's all, "Ooh, look at me, I'm related to a big-time celebrity, but I don't want y'all to know that because I want to beat y'all!" Blaine... you goin' down, sucka.

BLAINE: The target sign on my back is getting bigger and bigger... when will I learn to keep my mouth shut...

- F -

The shocking revelation shook up the once-tight Team Beta, and Justus gathered Odessa, Quillon, Talwen and Ward aside and started planning outside the cabins in a clearing.

"Okay, you know why I gathered y'all here," Justus said to the other four.

"Um, so we could vote Blaine off, right?" Ward said.

"Hecks yeah!" Justus said, rubbing his hands together. "Y'all saw him at the challenge. Spoiled white kid who couldn't handle eatin' challenges... just like his privileged sister. We ain't goin' nowhere... it's gon' be him tonight."

"Well, this makes our vote easier than expected, ese," said Quillon.

"Don't worry, Justus, we have your back," Odessa said.

"Cool," Justus said. Then he turned to Talwen and Ward. "And just so you know, he may be tryin' that stuff on you, so don't fall for anythang he say, got it?"

"Um, yeah... whatever you say," Ward nodded.

"You can count on us!" Talwen said.

- F -

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TALWEN: It feels so good to be included in a major alliance! I used to think that with just Ward and I being the only representatives of our original Team Beta on this one, we'd be easy prey... but we turn out to be the swing votes! We could completely change this team around... but then again, this choice seems like a no-brainer!

JUSTUS: I got four more votes on my side, I just need two more. Ashlynn was on my team since the beginning, and Dezzy's starting to get into this milk chocolate brotha... hope they realize Blaine is nothin' but trouble!

- F -

Meanwhile, Blaine was brooding inside the Loser Cabin. His alliance mates Ashlynn and Desirae were there to console him.

"I feel like I let this team down," Blaine said. "It's all my fault that both fish and my secret came out of my mouth..."

"Don't be hard on yo'self, sug'," Desirae said, patting Blaine on the back.

"If it makes you feel any better, we'll keep you," Ashlynn said to Blaine.

"But that's just three votes," Blaine said. "That's less than half our team!"

"Well, it'll at least be a wake-up call that maybe Justus isn't as much in power as he thinks he is," Ashlynn said.

"Amen, sista!" Desirae said. "Who he think he is, anyway?"

- F -

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BLAINE: I know that after the incident, my name is probably going to come up a lot when it comes to voting. But I do know that with all these twists thrown here and there, I'm hoping that at least one will save me... and not completely burn me like one did to She Who Shall Not Be Named!

DESIRAE: Girl, you know that it's just down to the three of us against the other five. Only way out of this is if we can convince Talwen and Ward to flip faster than I did in the air at last year's dance-off! Yeah, baby!

- F -

The three surviving members of that alliance formed on Day 3 were walking over to Talwen and Ward.

"Hey, you three," Talwen said. "How's it going?"

"Eh, it's getting there," said Blaine. "Say, want to do us a favor and write Justus' name down tonight so it'll be five votes against him?"

"Um... you see the thing is," Ward said. "Talwen and I already cast our votes."

"Yeah." Talwen said. "Sorry about that."

Ashlynn, Desirae and Blaine were a bit disappointed. "Oh," Blaine said. "We understand."

- F -

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ASHLYNN: Just our luck! On Day 3, we lose Xev... on Day 5, we lose Morganne... and it's Day 6, and we're going to lose another one of our own! I swear, this alliance is cursed! Cursed, I tell you! Cursed!

- F -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The eight members of Team Beta awaited their fate on the tree stumps. Chris showed up, however, he did not show up with a box of cookies this time.

"Ah, Team Beta," Chris said. "You were on top, then you sank to the bottom. Shame, shame. Too bad you're gonna end up being evenly matched with the others after all!"

"Yeah, yeah," said Blaine. "Can we get on with it already?"

"Oh, and by the way," Chris said. "That Four or Five twist I told you about? That wasn't limited to today's challenge!"

The eight contestants were shocked.

"Since you chose five, that's how many votes are going to be counted tonight!" Chris laughed.

At this point, Chef showed up wheeling a billboard where eight pieces of paper (presumably the contestants' votes), were tacked on. Underneath each piece was a number from 1 to 8.

"Campers, these are your votes," Chris said. "Relax, you really thought I was going to show the side that you wrote on? In a moment, one of you will pick three numbers, and Chef here will burn the vote that number corresponds to!"

Chef pulled out a lighter, and flicked it to turn it on.

"Hey! That's my lighter!" Igneous shouted. Igneous ran over to Chef, but Rheneas restrained her.

"The five votes that will not be burned to a crisp by the flickering flame will be the votes that will count tonight. Choose wisely!" Chris said. "So... which of you is going to volunteer?"

Justus raised his hand. "I'ma do this!"

- F -

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JUSTUS: This next twist was probably unnecessary... I mean, I figured that it was gon' be seven votes against that kid. I'm probably gon' be safe anyway, so I don't matter which numbers I was gon' pick.

BLAINE: When I saw those votes wheeled out, I figured... if there was something thrown together at the last minute that would save our alliance, this would be it. All Justus had to do was not pick the three numbers that corresponded to the votes that we just cast against him... whichever ones they were.

- F -

"Justus, you're doing this?" Chris said. "Then go right ahead!"

"I think one of the votes against me could be number 2, so let's go with that one!" Justus said.

Chef put the lit lighter to the piece of paper corresponding to the number 2, and the paper was burned up instantly until there was nothing left.

"Okay," Chris said. "Pick another number."

"I think number 7 could be a vote against me, so I'ma pick 7!" Justus said.

The number 7 may have been lucky, but the piece of paper corresponding to the number 7 was not so lucky, as it got burned to a pulp by Chef's lighter.

"And the last number," Chris said.

"This could be tough," Justus said. "But I'ma go with number 4... I've got a good feelin' 'bout that one!"

Chef burned the piece of paper corresponding to the number 4.

"Okay!" Chris said. "Now we're going to count the votes!"

- F -

One newly-revised vote-counting later, Chris came back with a box of cookies. "If you see the first letter of your name, you're safe, but you probably knew that already." He said. "The first cookie goes to Ward!" Chris threw a W-shaped cookie Ward's way.

"Quillon, you're also safe!" Quillon received a Q-shaped cookie.

"Desirae, so are you!" Desirae was delighted to receive a cookie shaped like the letter D.

"Odessa... you're safe too!" Odessa was overjoyed that a cookie shaped like the letter O was given to her.

"Talwen... you're still in this!" Talwen gladly received her T-shaped cookie.

"And so are you, Ashlynn!" Ashlynn accepted her cookie, which was shaped like the letter A.

It was now down to Blaine and Justus.

"The final cookie goes to..."

Blaine was sitting there, as nervous as he possibly could be. Justus stared at him smugly, with his arms crossed.

- A -

- B -

- C -

- D -

- E -

- F -

- G -

- H -

- I -

- J -

- K -

- L -

- M -

- N -

- O -

- P -

- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

Chris pulled out a B-shaped cookie. "Blaine!" The brother of a famous talk show hostess caught his cookie.

"Whoo boy!" Blaine said. "That was a close one!"

Justus stood there in shock. "But... but how?"

"Oh, it turns out the votes that were burned," Chris said. "Yeah, they were all votes cast against Blaine! Looks like Justus is the one leavin' tonight!"

Justus, and the four who voted with him, stood there with stunned expressions on their faces.

- F -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: To whoever comes up with these twists, I have to say... thank you! Thank you so much! I don't have to go home tonight! Yay! I rule and Blaineley drools!

TALWEN: It seems like one of the most predictable outcomes suddenly has a twist ending... only Chris McClean would pen something like this! Kudos, Chris.

WARD: How could this happen? HOW THE HECK COULD THIS HAPPEN? WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THIS GAME? BLAINE, YOU ARE GOING DOWN NEXT TIME! DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU ARE GOING DOWN!

ASHLYNN: And once again, I find out that Ward has been shouting in the Confessional Outhouse. I swear, when I get my hands on a pair of earplugs, I am going to put them in my ears whenever he's in there.

- F -

Justus walked along the Dock of Shame to the Boat of Losers. "Aw man, this brotha was robbed, y'all," he said sadly. Chris, Chef, and the other Team Beta members were watching him. "Chef," Justus said to Chef. "I trusted you, man! Why you let a fellow brother down?"

"Not my fault," Chef said. "You brought this on yo'self, boy."

After Justus boarded the Boat of Losers, he took out a piece of paper with what looks like a phone number on it. He threw it to Desirae. "Dezzy!" Justus said. "Call me!"

Desirae looked at the piece of paper, and saw that it did indeed have Justus' digits on it. "Aw, how sweet of him..." she said quietly.

When the Boat carrying Justus was out of sight, Desirae looked around to make sure no one was watching, and then walked over to Chef. "Chef, can I borrow yo' lighter?"

"Help yo'self, girly," Chef said, handing the lighter to Desirae. Desirae held the piece of paper over the flame, and the flame burned the piece of paper with Justus' digits on it to a crisp.

"Ooh, Justus just got burned!" Chris said to the viewers at home. "And by his girlfriend, too! We are definitely on fire tonight! Join us for some more hot stuff, next time on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY

Justus (3) - Ashlynn, Blaine, Desirae

Blaine (2) - Justus, Odessa, Quillon, Talwen, Ward [Three of those five votes were burned, so they do not count.]

Episode 7: "G" Force

The Dock of Shame once again gave way to Chris standing on top of it to address the viewing audience. "Last time, on Total Drama Alpharama..."

Footage from the last episode was placed in front of the audience's eyes.

"The challenge was one of the more heated challenges in Total Drama history! Team Beta blazed the competition, while Team Alpha had trouble catching a bite. Justus and Payson kept biting at each other! But in the end, it was Team Beta who bit it while the others bit on some humongo-sized fish! And while Blaine spilled his lunch, he also spilled his relation to Blaineley. The other contestants knew something was fishy! Blaineley's bro got the most votes, or rather he had the most votes, but three of them went to the big voting box in the sky thanks to a last-minute lighter! It was pencil-headed Justus who ended up getting erased... seriously, people, am I like the only one who noticed his hair looks like that?"

After the footage ended, Chris' appearance on the Dock of Shame resumed.

"21 campers remain, and this upcoming episode has a twist that is guaranteed to change the game forever! ...Of course, I say that about all my twists, but trust me on this one. I am dedicating this episode to all my 'Gs out there, on Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"

[TEAM OMEGA - LUXURY CABIN]

The previous challenge had a great deal of the twenty-one remaining campers smelling like fish. Many went to the communal bathrooms and used the sinks and showers to wash off the fish stink.

The first-place team had an advantage of luxury bathrooms in their own cabin, where they would come out smelling like a rose after the recent challenge! And even if they did not smell like fish, the bathrooms would be used for the contestants to pamper themselves...

...like Kieran and Ireland are doing on Team Omega. After Kieran bettered himself with some hair gel and mousse (and more likely so that Chris would not get his hands on it), the cool loner then began braiding Ireland's green hair.

"Ah, I miss the times when you used to do that to me when you would come over to our house on the weekends," Ireland said nostalgically.

"I've improved since then, babe," Kieran stated coolly.

Ireland then counted the braids in her hair. "You're right... you have! I don't remember this many braids before!" she said. "But then, I don't remember you braiding my hair whenever you came over to our house. Come to think about it, I don't even remember you coming over to our house at all!"

"But then again, I'm braiding your hair now, so you can consider it an improvement," Kieran said, while Ireland giggled.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: Having Kieran on this team allows us both to catch up on everything we missed... you know, during the days when we didn't speak to each other. And that's basically a lot of days! If I planted one tree for each of those days... and I planted them on this campground... the place would be buried in trees! Not that that's a bad thing, mind you.

KIERAN: So? Braiding a girl's hair doesn't make a guy less cool. Most members of my old gang wouldn't go anywhere near a girl's hair... unless they would put their used chewing gum in it. That stuff is difficult to remove from hair, and requires an extra trip to the barbershop... especially if you were just there the day before!

- G -

Just then, Ross came over to the two of them. "Hey, Rasta!" Kieran said, while giving Ross a high-five.

"Da Rasta always know when to show up, mon!" Ross stated excitedly.

"Yeah, Kieran was just braiding my hair," Ireland said to Ross.

"If you want, I do dreadlocks as well," Kieran said.

"Okay, me nuh see why not," Ross said, and Kieran did some braid work on Ross' dreads. "Dey nice!" Ross said happily when he saw what Kieran had done to his hair.

"Ooh, I bet they will make Francesca fall in love with you even more!" Ireland beamed.

At this point, Ross grew a bit silent. "Franny-girl?" he said.

"Yeah, I think you're in love with her, am I right?" Kieran said slyly.

Ross just left the two of them without saying a word. "Was that a yes?" Ireland asked.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ROSS: Me nuh in love with Franny-girl! Her isn't me type! Okay? G'wan, ask anudda question for de Rasta. For instance... somet'ing about me new dreads. Kieran be one of de manliest members of de team, but him real good at hairstylin', mon! But not'ing about she or she vibrant orange shirt, or she hot pink shorts, [He fantasizes.] or she beautiful brown hair... [He regains his composure.] ...wait a minute, what me sayin'?

- G -

While Payson and Luna were sitting on the couch playing Super Plumber Bros. on the Swii, Francesca and Velandra were playing pool. Velandra was impressed that Francesca had managed to pull of an impressive bank shot that knocked the colored balls off the pool table and into the pockets - in numerical order!

"Dang, chica, no one I know can do that," Velandra said to Francesca.

"Okay, that was a warm-up," Francesca said. "Now I'm going to be attempting to do this in reverse numerical order! I don't think anyone has ever done this before!" Francesca gathered the pool balls from the pockets and set them up. She hit the cue ball with the stick, and on her first shot, all the colored pool balls went into the pockets... but in reverse numerical order this time!

"Ay," Velandra said, still impressed. "I bet if Ross saw that, he would definitely fall in love with you now!"

As soon as Francesca set the pool balls back up, she was silent for a minute. When she spoke again, she said, "Come again?"

"You two love each other, and you won't admit it. I know you've had your eye on him during the last challenge, and the challenge before that, and the challenge before that one, too!" Velandra said. "Face it, chica, you two were made for each other!"

Francesca set down her pool cue. "You know what... I think I'm going to take a break." And then she left.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

VELANDRA: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, girlfriend. You clearly love Ross, Francesca, and I can tell it's written all over your face! And I'm pretty sure at your last confessional, you were gushing over him!

FRANCESCA: No, no, a thousand times no! I do not like Ross! Why do my teammates always say I like him? I don't want to see that green, black, and yellow shirt he wears... [She fantasizes.] because I'd like to see him shirtless instead! Ahhhhhh... [She regains her composure.] ...Wait a minute! No, I don't! Please edit that part out!

- G -

Payson and Luna were really competitive with each other during a frantic round of Super Plumber Bros. Luna's character, wearing pink, had just managed to pull off an impressive backflip kick which knocked Payson's character, wearing purple, in the lava.

"Wow, you're really good at this game!" Payson said to Luna. At this point, Luna grew silent.

"That's it?" Luna said. "What, none of your 'yo yo yo' or any of your rhyming thing that you like to do?"

"I gave that up days ago," Payson said. "That rapping brought me bad mojo, and I've been trying to avoid it like crazy. Now, if you don't mind..." Payson resumed his game, while Luna retreated to the soda machine.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

LUNA: That's a real shame! I really like Payson's rapping, because it was one of the best things about his character! But now that he's decided not to use it anymore, I am the sad. [She starts crying.]

PAYSON: Giving up that bad habit has changed me for the better! My team has won the last two challenges, and Justus got voted off last night... now he won't be bugging me to "show us your skillz"... what, was one foot away from you not close enough for you to see them?

- G -

[TEAM ALPHA - DUO CABINS - BOYS' CABIN]

Team Alpha had rejoiced in barely beating out Team Beta in the last challenge... and the boys were just settling down in their cabin and putting their things away.

"Well, here's to another well-earned immunity, guys!" Connor said to Gareth, Zakeri and Hektor. "I'd get you all some soda cans to celebrate, but sadly, only those in first place can get them... but we can get some next time!"

"Hear, hear!" said Gareth.

"Aiyaah... I still can't believe one of those boots you caught actually had a fish in it," said Hektor to Gareth. "I mean, the probability of that happening is, I think, 10,000 to 1!"

"Well, this is Chris McClean's show, so we can expect the most unlikely of things to happen!" said Zakeri, while he was practicing a martial-arts pose.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

HEKTOR: I really liked the last challenge... I was the hero, and I beat Blaine. It was a good thing I ate all that fish... fish is, as they say, brain food, and all that omega-3 will really help out toward the mental challenges coming up... that is, assuming that we're not stuck with a bunch of just physical challenges for the rest of the game.

CONNOR: When I found out that Blaine had revealed his relationship to Blaineley in front of everyone, I was relieved that no one had found out my secret yet... particularly because I didn't bring my vast fortune with me. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would have been if money came out of my mouth during the challenge? And I'm not the kind of person who actually eats his own money... compared to a certain host who shall remain nameless...

- G -

"If this keeps up, our team could become the final seven!" Gareth said.

"Yeah, provided none of us on our team throw the next challenge," said Connor.

"Like a certain pink-haired villain wannabe," said Hektor.

"Hey, leave York alone!" Gareth stated. "She can be nice too!"

There was an awkward silence... and then Connor, Zakeri and Hektor laughed their heads off.

"York... nice?" Hektor laughed.

"Yes, she is!" said Gareth. "During supper, she shared her meal with me!"

- G -

- FLASHBACK! -

In the mess hall, York took the tray that had the food Chef served her, and went to one of the green tables. While she was eating, she noticed that Gareth had approached her, but without a similar tray.

"Oh, it's you," York said. "Why don't you have a tray with you?"

"Well, I was thinking we could share our meal together!" Gareth said, "you know, being that we're in love with each other and all!" He then used his sleeve to wipe his runny nose, and then wiped his arm on York's food to clean it off. "What do you say?"

York, obviously repulsed by all of this, said to Gareth, "Okay, this food is all yours." She then left, presumably to get another tray of food, saying "freak" to Gareth under her breath.

"She likes me!" Gareth said quietly to himself.

- FLASHBACK ENDS! -

- G -

The other three boys on Team Alpha stood there in awkward silence after Gareth finished his story.

"Oh come on!" Gareth said. "She's not that bad of a girl once you get to know her!"

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ZAKERI: Gareth is a nice kid... but I have to question his choice in girlfriends. If York is the one who sabotaged that Easter egg challenge - and who knows, she could still sabotage others along the road - then I imagine that she would probably leave him alone at the altar if the two of them were to ever get married!

GARETH: I can't wait until I get to the final two with York, because she said she'd use some of her winnings for the wedding of our dreams! And she will never leave me alone at the altar, because she said she would stand by me at all times if we were to get married! ...At least, that's what I think she said, right?

- G -

[TEAM ALPHA - DUO CABINS - GIRLS' CABIN]

The three Team Alpha girls, after putting their stuff away, were basically talking to each other about... well, the boys on their team. Since the three of them just happened to be guy-crazy.

"So, tell me, Nevaeh," said Unique. "Who do you like among the guys here?"

"Well, I don't know if I'm old enough for him yet," said Nevaeh. "But I do like Connor!"

"Wow, color me surprised," said York. "I figured you'd be all over Mr. Martial Arts in a heartbeat!"

"Yeah," Nevaeh said. "But Connor did save me from those alligators during the first challenge. Plus there's something about him that makes me want to fall in love with him. Could it be his beautifully-combed blond hair, or his gorgeous blue eyes?" She then sat with her stomach on her bed, and placed her head in her hands. "Aaaaahhhh..." she swooned.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

NEVAEH: Connor is every young girl's fantasy... I think. Not a single hair on that head of his is out of place. I'm dying to know the secret of how he gets it to be like this. In fact, I'm dying to know his secrets, period! Maybe I'll ask him later on...

- G -

York then gazed in Unique's direction. "So, tell me who you're interested in, Miss 'U'-niverse," York joked.

"I believe that's the first time I've ever been called that!" Unique said in excitement. "But it's a toss-up between Hektor and Zakeri. I like them both... for now. But I haven't decided on a particular one of them."

"Oooooooooooh!" York said.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: Zakeri? Of course I like him, but then again, a lot of the girls around camp like him too, even the ones that aren't on this team! But then, I also like Hektor... and no, it's not just because the two of us are the only ones from the original Team Beta to make it to Team Alpha... though it is mostly because of that. It is because I see him as a guy who desperately needs a girlfriend. Maybe he'll actually get one... who knows? [She winks.]

- G -

"Well... to tell you the truth," York said, "I think I have found the guy of my dreams too."

"Gareth?" Nevaeh said.

"What made you think it was Gareth?" York said.

"Well, he is the only guy on our team left," Unique replied.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: Are you freaking kidding me? What makes you think I would be in love with that waste of oxygen? ...The truth is, I did fall in love with someone at the challenge today, and it was none other than the boy who is as duplicitious as his own sister! You know, I don't know why I had even thought of breaking up that kid's alliance early on... Blaine's as sexy as he is sneaky! You know what? He and those other two girls of his can stay for now. My new target is Team Omega, and Miss Redheaded Busybody! Seriously, it's bad enough I've got Mr. Kung Fu Frightening looking down my neck!

- G -

York lied. "Um... yeah, you caught me. I am in love with him."

"Well, I guess that's settled then!" Nevaeh said. "I think tomorrow morning, when we wake up, we should tell them that we're in love with them!"

"Good idea!" Unique said. "Good night!"

"Yeah," York said, hesitating as she got into bed. "...good night... I guess." She sighed.

- G -

[TEAM BETA - LOSER CABIN]

All of the twenty-one remaining contestants have slept in the Loser Cabin at one point. For this night, it was some contestants' first.

But the seven members of Team Beta could not get to sleep.

The revelation that Blaine was related to Blaineley, combined with the vote-off, really got to Ward, and he was really angry, and soon after Blaine arrived in the Loser Cabin, Ward had a shouting match with him.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Ward yelled. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?"

"Dude, I'm just trying to put my stuff away, so chill," Blaine said.

"No!" Ward replied angrily. "I can't 'chill'! I need to know what the HECK is going on here!" Ward hyperventilated, fixating his gaze solely on Blaine, and Talwen tried to calm him down.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ASHLYNN: If he's not yelling in the Camera Confessional, he's yelling in the cabin where we sleep. It's too bad there is no volume control on Ward, otherwise we would have drifted off to Dreamland right about now!

TALWEN: We've been on Team Beta since the very beginning, so I've known quite a bit about Ward. But I never knew that he'd go this far off the deep end! Does he even know that this puts bigger target signs on our backs? But then again, at least the target sign is more likely to be on him than me, but don't tell him that.

BLAINE: Ever since I was miraculously saved by that deus ex machina Chris calls a "twist", Ward took it pretty hard. He yelled at me... he yelled at everyone... and part of me is hoping that he gets laryngitis and gets medivacced from the game. But then again, you can't always get what you want...

- G -

"Okay, that's it," Blaine said. "I'm going to sleep." Blaine was about to climb up to the top bunk of one of the bunk beds, when...

"YOU DON'T DESERVE SLEEP!" Ward shouted, grabbing Blaine's leg and forcing him off the ladder. Ward then raised his fist at Blaine.

"Ward, don't do this!" Talwen said to Ward, while she restrained his arm. "If you hit him, you'll be expelled from the game!"

"So?" Ward replied. "That's a risk I'm willing to take!"

"I can't watch this!" Odessa shouted, shielding her eyes.

Both Ward and Blaine rolled up their sleeves, each one gazing angrily at each other.

"You want to take this outside?" Blaine said, seething at his new rival.

"Fine by me!" Ward said. "The Dock of Shame is a nice place... hopefully the Boat of Losers will come back and pick you up, since it failed to do so the first time!"

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: I don't know 'bout you, sug', but I know I put the right person on that Boat last time! Justus was really tryin' to get with me, plain and simple. If anything, the Boat should probably come back to pick up Ward next time we vote someone off... but I wonder... is the boat really strong enough to support all that weight o' his? Oh well... if it did sink, it wouldn't get any of the rest of us out of the game anymo'!

WARD: We shouldn't be in last place... I don't like losing! Blaine is an annoying cockroach... he was the reason we lost the challenge last time! This is all his fault! Justus should be here instead of him! DON'T WORRY, JUSTUS! I WILL AVENGE YOU, AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT BLAINE WILL PAY! [He clenches his fists.]

ODESSA: [She shivers in fright.] Ashlynn was right about Ward... he really does yell as loud as she said he did! Now I'm going to become even more deaf than I already am...

- G -

Blaine and Ward were now standing outside on the Dock of Losers. Their sleeves were still being rolled up, and they were still gazing at each other angrily. The other five Team Beta members were also outside, mortified that they had to witness this showdown.

"You don't have to do this!" Ashlynn said to Blaine.

"I have to," Blaine said, "If this guy wants to go Incredible Hulk on me and get himself DQ'd, hey... I'm not going to stop him."

"Yeah, stay out of this!" Ward said. "This is my fight!" And then he picked up a giant log and held it with both hands.

"A fight you will lose!" Blaine replied, while picking up a tree branch that fell on the ground. "Let's do this."

Blaine and Ward, armed with tree branch and log respectively, slowly approached the edge of the Dock of Losers.

"Okay, I have to stop this," Quillon said to himself. He noticed a saw on the ground that was apparently being used to saw the wood for lumber used for building challenges. He picked up the saw and then approached the two other boys. The four girls were starting to freak out.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ASHLYNN: Okay, first we have Roid Rage and Blaineley Jr. trying to attack each other, now Quillon decides to bring his handsaw... when I saw that, I thought... why does my team have to have all the violent guys on it?

QUILLON: This fight had to end, ese. We already lost one member, we don't need to lose two more. If you still think you need to resort to physical violence to solve your problems, then you don't deserve to be here, wey.

- G -

Blaine was using his tree branch as a shield anticipating an attack from Ward, who raised his log toward him in order to attack. However, they did not notice a saw blade quickly emerge from the dock, slicing the board that they had crossed in order to make it to the edge.

"Look behind you!" Blaine said to Ward. "Someone's trying to saw the docks!"

"See what you started?" Ward responded to Blaine. But it was too late, as Quillon, who had donned a snorkel and swim fins, had successfully sawed the board in half. The section of the dock that Blaine and Ward were standing on gave way, and both of them fell into the water.

Ward emerged from the water first, followed by Blaine.

"Wow..." Blaine said as he saw himself surrounded by water. "We really went after each other, huh?"

"Yeah..." Ward said. "I... kinda got overboard."

Quillon's head emerged from the water next. "Let this be a lesson to you two chicos... fighting don't solve nothing!"

"Yeah, we'd better go back," Blaine said.

"I guess we have to change our clothes, since these ones are all wet," Ward replied.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: So I guess I lost my temper again... big surprise. Why do I feel like I may be turning more into Eva than my idol Owen?

BLAINE: Okay... I kind of deserved falling in the water there after surviving the Bonfire Ceremony. Who knows... maybe I'll find a fish there and eat it to make up for the one I didn't eat last time? ...Just kidding, I'm not going to eat any of the fish there, really.

ODESSA: Quillon saved the day! I saw how he put himself out there to stop the fight... he is so brave! I love that man! I want to show him how I feel... but I have to wait until the time is right... maybe tomorrow morning would be a good time!

- G -

- DAY 7 -

After the moon surrendered to the sun, the campers greeted the brand new day. It was a wonderful day, as the birds were chirping (the ones that weren't eaten by bears, that is). The twenty-one remaining contestants hoped that the nice day would get their mind off of the Blaine/Ward blowout that went on last night.

Odessa, however, had something else on her mind. While the other members of Team Beta were already at the mess hall, Odessa, was looking around the Loser Cabin.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ODESSA: I could have just gone over to the mess hall, walked up to Quillon, and told him how I felt, but... I'm typically a shy girl. I thought a nice, heartfelt love letter written to him would be the solution... but I feel so stupid for not bringing any writing material with me! And since I don't want to bug Alyssa, who has like tons of it lying around, I thought I'd see if one of my teammates had anything I could use...

- G -

Odessa checked the drawers. They were filled with the team members' personal effects. Among them were Ward's stress-relief toy football. Odessa squeezed it, and it made a cute squeaking sound (not that she could hear it). "I bet Ward must have squeezed it to make himself feel better last night," she thought to herself. While searching through the drawers, Odessa also found Desirae's mood ring, Ashlynn's cheerleader pom-poms, and photos of Blaine and Blaineley together (only with Blaineley's face covered up and taped over by the face of a hot girl, presumably someone Blaine had a crush on).

She also saw Talwen's diary, which the goth girl had accidentally left open. The diary was filled with many different poems that Talwen had written. The diary had not been finished yet, as there were several blank pages. Odessa knew it was rude to write in another person's diary... but she wanted to write something to Quillon, so she couldn't resist! She picked up the pen inside the diary, and wrote on a blank page.

"I hope Talwen won't mind if I borrowed this," Odessa said to herself while she wrote.

- G -

[MESS HALL]

The other twenty campers, however, were greeted by a gourmet of griddle scones, grits, grape juice, and grapefruit. They gulped it down, and they agreed... it was great!

Nevaeh took her breakfast and sat next to Connor. "Connor," Nevaeh said to the teenage millionaire... "I... I really like you."

"Wow, how sweet of you," Connor replied back.

"I've liked you since we became teammates, and... well... I think we could be meant for each other," Nevaeh continued.

"Well, I've kinda felt the same way about you too... I guess..." Connor smiled nervously.

"As long as we're on the same team, I'd really like to get to know more about you," Nevaeh said. "For instance... how are you the way you are? Please tell me your secrets, because I would really like to know!"

Connor was taken aback.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: Nevaeh really wanted to know all of my secrets at breakfast. I cannot tell her that I am a millionaire! Everyone on my team would think I don't need the million-dollar prize, and they'd get rid of me quicker than Chris gets rid of his interns!

- G -

"Um..." Connor stammered. "You don't want to know all of my secrets... besides, there are lots of other people here, and they could know too..."

"What's wrong?" Nevaeh said. "Are you hiding something?"

"N... no, no, I'm not hiding anything at all!" Connor lied. "I think we should talk about this later... after the challenge, okay?"

"Um, okay," Nevaeh said. "Whatever you say." She was confused, and then decided to eat breakfast along with Connor.

Little did she realize that the conversation between the two of them had not gone unnoticed by Velandra, who was looking at them from one of the purple tables.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

NEVAEH: I really think Connor is hiding something from me... oh my gosh! Is it something shameful... something he doesn't want me to know about? I hope it's not that bad... I was really starting to get to know him better!

VELANDRA: So Connor is hidin' something too, huh? I knew it! I bet you that chico is sittin' on a whole stack of money right now that he don't want his girl to look at. I can tell from the boy's body language! I'm surprised I don't see no dollar bills stickin' out of the boy's shirt right now... he probably uses that stuff to line his mattress! If there was another swap right now, and he were on my team, I'd make sure he was gone... ahora. I need the money... he don't.

- G -

After Unique got her breakfast, she sat another one of the green tables. There was a space between where Hektor and Zakeri were sitting, so she sat there.

"I see you boys have saved a seat for me," Unique observed.

Hektor and Zakeri smiled while they stared at her body. They were so fascinated with Unique's appearance that they could barely speak.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ZAKERI: Darn it, Zakeri, pull yourself together! Remember, you have to figure out who threw the challenge the other day!

HEKTOR: I... aiyaah! I wish Chef served more fish for dinner.. my brain keeps getting distracted!

- G -

Unique noticed the two of them fidgeting nervously around her. "So, boys, what's up?"

"Um..." Hektor stammed. "So, um..."

"So, yeah..." Zakeri said. "Nice... day to practice martial arts, huh?" He then gave his grapefruit to Unique.

"And math as well!" Hektor replied, giving his grapefruit to Unique as well. "In fact, why not do both?"

Unique giggled. "I can tell you boys are fighting over me!" she said, giving the grapefruits back to Hektor and Zakeri. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were in love with me!"

"Well, given the reactions of us and the other boys here, there's at least a 90% chance you'd be right!" Hektor replied.

"How cute," Unique said. "I haven't even decided yet who I want to end up with!" She then giggled some more.

Zakeri and Hektor stared at each other.

- G -

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UNIQUE: Seriously, I haven't made up my mind yet. Zakeri is a kung fu god, but Hektor, unlike me, might actually understand how to solve, say, long division questions that involve fractions! It's like having to pick out a dress at the mall... sometimes there's more than one good choice you see in front of you, that no matter what you choose, you may end up having to sacrifice the other! I don't know what to do right now...

- G -

Team Beta, minus Odessa at the moment, was sitting down to nosh on their breakfast.

"It's a shame Odessa's missing this breakfast!" Ward said.

"Yeah, probably because you were, oh, I don't know, shouting so much, she didn't want to be near you for a while, and who could blame her?" replied Ashlynn to Ward.

"I know, don't remind me," Ward said, ashamed.

Talwen took a small bite out of one of her griddle scones, and drank some of her grape juice. "Well, I'm done eating for a while," Talwen said, and left her tray down on the table and then left the mess hall.

"Ah, shouting," York taunted to Ward from Team Alpha's table. "It sure attracts the ladies, doesn't it?"

Ward muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

- G -

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WARD: Why are these people making such a big deal of the fight I had with Blaine? And York just has to rub it in!

YORK: At this point, I'd have been one of the first five people voted off by now... but these people? OMG, they are certainly making everything easier for me!

- G -

Back at the Loser Cabin, Odessa was putting the finishing touches on the love note she had written for Quillon. It read:

To you-know-who:

Ever since we met on Day 1, I have had a tiny crush on you... kind of like a crushlet, if you will. But as time passed, my crushlet has kind of evolved into a major crush! I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I would like to spend the rest of my life with you.

Sincerely,

But just as Odessa was about to sign her name, she heard a knock on the cabin door. "Can I come in?" Talwen's voice said from outside.

Odessa, now busted, hid under the bed. In doing so, she left Talwen's diary unattended. Talwen opened the door and saw her diary.

- G -

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TALWEN: I have brought my diary as one of my luxury items, and I use it to write poems about various things I tend to notice during my stay in the game... writing poetry can be a great way to relieve stress. However, I noticed that someone had written it...

- G -

Talwen looked at the love note that Odessa had written. "'To you-know-who'..." She continued reading. "'I have had a tiny crush on you'...?" Talwen was stunned by this... could the goth girl have found love during her first week here?

Just then, Odessa, who was still under the bed at the time, let out a tiny sneeze. The sneeze was enough to catch Talwen's attention.

"Oh, there you are, Odessa," Talwen said as she saw the deaf girl. "I was wondering where you were, you're missing breakfast today! By the way, I noticed that someone had been writing in my diary... I think it's a love note, isn't it?"

"Okay... I confess," Odessa said. "I wrote this!"

Talwen was silent for a few seconds, then let out a giggle.

- G -

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TALWEN: Sorry, Odessa, I'm into guys... but thanks anyway!

- G -

"Actually, the letter isn't for you," Odessa said. "It's for Quillon."

"You know, you could have said 'To Quillon' in your note instead of 'To you-know-who'," Talwen said. "And you could have asked permission to use my diary before then. Now come on, breakfast is getting cold."

Just then, Chris' voice over the PA system interrupted them. "Challenge time, campers!" he said. "And this challenge is one you can't afford to lose today! After all, you want those 1,000 'G's, right?" Chris laughed at his joke again.

- G -

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ODESSA: Sometimes I wish I could not be deaf, so then I could understand what Chris was saying. ...Aw, who am I kidding? There are some instances where I'm glad I'm deaf!

- G -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

The twenty-one contestants all assembled on of three giant patches of synthetic sports turf (green for Team Alpha, red for Team Beta, and purple for Team Omega). Chris greeted them there, and he was wearing a ridiculous-looking golf outfit consisting of a plaid sweater vest, khaki pants, olive-green knee-high socks, black-and-white golf cleats, and a dark green tam-o'-shanter. The contestants could not help but laugh at his hilarious attire.

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YORK: O. M. G. I completely take back what I said earlier. Compared to Chris' getup, Ward's shouting would be more likely to attract the ladies!

- G -

Chris held up a letter G. "G... is for Golf!" Chris swung a golf club for emphasis, and used it to hit a golf ball, which fell through a hole in a tree. The bird that was living in the hole emerged with a bump on its head. It cursed angrily in bird-ese, and then kicked the golf ball out of the tree. The golf ball rolled into a gopher hole, where a gopher, with a bump on its head, cursed angrily in gopher-ese, and then threw the golf ball into the hole in the tree. The bird, greeted by the golf ball again, kicked the ball out, and it rolled into the gopher hole again. The gopher and the bird kept throwing the ball back and forth, continuing a very long cycle...

Meanwhile, Chris and the contestants were more focused on the challenge. "Anyhoo, G is for the Grand Golf Gauntlet!" Chris explained. "I assume you know how to play golf, but even if you don't know how to, then tough, you gotta play it anyway! All you have to do is hit the golf ball with your golf club, and hope that your shot places the golf ball into the hole! This challenge is actually very easy... to explain, that is! But the good news is, this mini-golf course is kinda short... only seven holes, each with its own set of obstacles, one for each member of your team! The two teams that complete the course in the fewest number of strokes win invinicibility!"

The three teams cheer upon hearing Chris' words.

- G -

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FRANCESCA: When Chris said the challenge was a golf challenge, I lit up inside... I loved playing miniature golf when I was five years old. Mom and dad would take me to all nine holes, and I would watch the looks on my brothers' faces when I would get a hole in one on all nine of them... ah, good times!

- G -

"And you don't want to be the team that ends up third in this challenge, because I have another twist for you... G is for Gone!"

The twenty-one contestants are shocked.

"That's right!" Chris continued. "Before this episode is over, three teams will become two, because the last-place team will be, well, gone! It would suck to be you if you were on that team!"

- G -

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NEVAEH: Chris said that the team that comes in last place will be no more. This really scared me... what if this meant that all the members of the losing team have to leave, regardless of how well they did in the challenge?

- G -

"In any case," Chris continued. "the winning team gets to stay in the Luxury Cabin, of course, and the second-place team gets to sleep in the Dual Cabins! Which means that since there will soon be no more third-place team, there will be no more Loser Cabin!"

"That's my cue!" a female voice shouted offscreen. Igneous, one of the interns from the previous challenge, showed up with her lighter, ignited it, and set the flame close to the loser cabin. "Burn, baby, burn!" she shouted.

A great deal of the contestants were stunned as they watched the Loser Cabin burn to the ground. The members of Team Beta were really mortified... they were the ones to have lived in it last, and all their stuff was in there!

"Okay, that's not how I would've gotten rid of the Loser Cabin, but it'll do," Chris said.

- G -

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ASHLYNN: What Chris did... or rather what that crazy fire girl did... was really excessive! That cabin had all our clothes in it... what, does Chris expect us to wear the same outfits day after day after day?

TALWEN: [nervous] My diary... all my poems... [regaining composure] ...okay, calm down, Talwen, you can always write new ones, or at least try to remember how your previous poems went... ...let's see... how did "Ode To A Derelict Raven's Nest" go again?

ODESSA: The love note that I was going to give to Quillon... it's gone... maybe in hindsight I should've just ripped out the note from Talwen's diary... maybe I should've just stayed in the cabin for a while, taken the note, and blame my lateness on not being able to hear Chris' announcement, which I wouldn't have been able to hear anyway?

WARD: My... my therapy football... [cries] ...how could you... ...that was the only thing keeping me from completely losing it! CHRIS MCCLEAN, YOU ARE GOING TO PAY! LAST TIME, IT WAS THE FOOTBALL, NEXT TIME, IT WILL BE YOU!

BLAINE: You know, since Chris thinks he can set fire to our stuff and get away with it... maybe we should burn his things one day! That would be completely justified.

VELANDRA: Those contestants may be all freaked out that the Loser Cabin burned down, but I ain't mad. Uno, it ain't my things bein' burned in there, and dos, I don't have to sleep there anymore for the rest of the season!

- G -

Just then, Alyssa appeared holding three different pouches with golf balls (one pouch was green, one pouch was red, and the third was purple).

Chris glared to Alyssa. "Hey, where's the outfit I told you to wear for this challenge?"

"Didn't need it," Alyssa replied. "Besides, I thought it would be funny if I made you look like a fool in front of everyone else!" And all twenty-one of the contestants laughed, even those who had their personal possessions presumably burned.

- G -

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ALYSSA: Since I'm not technically a contestant, I don't have to play by Chris' rules! I am not wearing any outfit that has spiders crawling over it!

- G -

"Aaanyway," Chris said. "Each team member will draw a golf ball from the colored pouches you will be given. The number on the bag is the number of the hole you will have to complete. And you'll probably want a lower-numbered hole, because they tend to be the easier ones... in theory."

Alyssa gave the pouches to the corresponding teams. The twenty-one contestants reached in, and each drew a ball from the pouch, hoping they would get a number that would satisfy them.

- G -

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FRANCESCA: When we were drawing golf balls, I was thinking, "Please don't let me pick 1, please don't let me pick 1"... you kidding, Chris? The first hole is usually a joke. But then again, knowing Chris, I could probably say the same for the other six holes as well! But you know what? [rubs hands together] I'm ready.

- G -

"Okay," Chris said. "If you drew the golf ball with the number 1 on it, then hold out your hand!"

A contestant from each team displayed the correct golf ball. From Team Alpha, it was Unique. From Team Beta, Odessa. And from Team Omega, Francesca.

"Okay, I would like a redraw," Francesca demanded.

"Nope," Chris stated. "The hole you select is final! Besides, who'd want to wuss out on hole number 1, the easiest hole on the course!"

Francesca was embarrassed.

- G -

After Chef came by wheeling out a big ol' bag of golf clubs, the three girls each picked one up, and were ready to face the first hole.

- G -

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FRANCESCA: I saw what the first part of the course was like, and I figured... that's it? This is probably the only hole my brothers could complete without going over par!

- G -

"Golfers," Chris said to Francesca, Unique, and Odessa. "G is for Guitar! The first obstacle you see before you is a guitar that's so big, even Trent couldn't play it, let alone carry it! If you can make a hole in one here, you'll be a guitar hero!" Chris laughed at his joke. "Francesca, since your team came in first in the last challenge, you'll be going first!"

"Oh joy," Francesca said sardonically. "Well, here goes nothing." Francesca sighed and took her position at the start. She placed a purple golf ball on the tee, and then swung her club. The golf ball rolled up the ramp, across the "guitar"'s "neck", and slid across the "strings" and fell through the hole. The ball rolled into an even tinier hole within the hole, marked with a flag with the number 1 on it indicating its status as the first hole on the course. It was a hole in one!

"And Francesca gets Team Omega off to a good start with a hole in one right off the bat!" Chris exclaimed. "Nice job!"

- G -

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FRANCESCA: [unenthused] Yay. I scored a hole in one. Whoopee. My team is definitely going to come in first with this accomplishment. [She sighs.]

- G -

"Next up, for Team Alpha, it's Unique!" Chris exclaimed.

Unique, with golf club in hand, took her position at the start. She bent over and put a green golf ball on the tee.

"Wow, look at those curves..." Chris said under his breath, while he was staring at Unique.

"Excuse me?" Unique said to Chris.

"Um, I mean, on the guitar! Yeah, the guitar is a very curvy musical instrument, isn't it?" Chris corrected himself.

"Okay, if you say so," Unique continued.

- G -

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UNIQUE: Chris, behave!

- G -

Unique then swung her club. The ball rolled off the tee and up the ramp. It slid across the "strings" for quite a good bit before stopping just short of the hole.

"Okay, not quite as good as Francesca's, but it's good for now," Chris said. "Odessa, you're up."

Odessa, placing a red golf ball on the tee, was ready. "I haven't played mini-golf in a while, but I think I'm good," she said. She swung the club, and the golf ball rolled up the ramp for a bit, and then just as it was about to get up to the top, it quickly rolled down to the lower area.

"Swing and a miss," Chris said. "Unique, you're up again."

- G -

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ODESSA: Maybe it's just the shock from Chris BURNING MY LOVE NOTE TO QUILLON IN THE FIRE... I had trouble concentrating.

- G -

It was Unique's turn again. The flirt had no trouble with her second shot, as it rolled off the rest of the string and down into the tiny hole that the purple golf ball already went through.

"Unique catches up with 2 points, will Odessa do the same?" Chris said. "I kinda doubt it, but it'll be fun to watch!"

"Oh, shush!" Odessa said to Chris. She took her position, and hit the red golf ball again. This time it rolled up the ramp and onto the "strings". It stopped just in the middle of one of the strings.

"Second stroke, and still nowhere," Chris said. "Maybe this next one will finally do it."

Odessa took her position next to where the red ball ended up. She hit the ball, and it rolled down the rest of the string into the hole. It was this close to the tiny hole in the center, but it did not roll in all the way.

"Ooh, so close!" Chris said.

Odessa pretended she didn't hear Chris, and went to where the ball was. She putted the ball, and this time, it landed in the hole.

"Okay, that's four points for Odessa," Chris said. "You do know that in golf, more points is a bad thing, right?"

Odessa frowned.

TEAM OMEGA - 1 / TEAM ALPHA - 2 / TEAM BETA - 4

- G -

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ODESSA: Yes, I already know that! You don't need to remind me!

- G -

After Francesca, Unique, and Odessa completed their hole, Odessa walked over to Quillon, who was waiting on the sidelines.

"Hey, chica," Quillon said to Odessa.

"Quillon, I have something I need to tell you," Odessa said. "Quillon... I-"

Before Odessa could continue, Chris spoke. "Okay, now it's time for Hole Number 2! Would Connor, Quillon, and Velandra get over here?"

Connor, Quillon, and Velandra walked over to Chris. Odessa was disappointed. Whatever she was going to tell Quillon would have to wait.

- G -

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ODESSA: This is just like the golf challenge... so close!

QUILLON: Odessa looked like she really wanted to tell me something. She seemed jumpier than mamacita after seeing a cucaracha in her kitchen, vato!

- G -

Chef gave Connor, Quillon, and Velandra their golf clubs. The three then witnessed the second part of the golf course.

"G is for Giraffe!" Chris said. "Meet Geraldine the Giraffe, who is guarding the second hole in this course with all four of her legs! She may stick her neck out to you, but only if she feels like it. Since your team is still in the lead, Velandra, you get to go first."

"I'm more ready than I'll ever be," Velandra said, as she placed her purple ball on the tee. She swung the ball, and it slid down the ramp, and headed toward the giraffe. The hole behind the giraffe had a flag with the number 2 on it.

Suddenly, the giraffe began to stir. That was when the contestants suddenly realized that the giraffe wasn't an animatronic prop - it was a real giraffe!

As soon as the ball rolled toward Geraldine, she headbutted the ball back towards the tee... a bit behind where Velandra first swung.

- G -

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VELANDRA: Ay! For my quinceañera, me and my sister went to an animal-themed golf course that had a giraffe on it, and I didn't see the giraffe act like that!

CHRIS: Why even bother making a crappy prop giraffe when you can have the real thing? Makes the challenge a heck of a lot more intense, wouldn't you say?

- G -

"Oh, so close, and yet so far," Chris said to Velandra. "Connor, since your team is in second, you're next."

"Thanks, Chris," Connor said. Connor took his position behind the tee and placed a green golf ball there. He swung, and the ball rolled toward Geraldine, who headbutted the green golf ball just like she did with the purple one. It rolled toward the tee, though not as far as the purple one did.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Geraldine doesn't like when golf balls are hit towards her," Chris said.

"Thanks for reminding me," Connor said sarcastically.

- G -

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CONNOR: Wow, Chris has devised a very clever hole for a golf course... one with a live animal on it. Only way I could come up with that kind of a hole is if I had a million dollars... oh wait!

- G -

"Quillon, you're next," Chris said. "And try to get your team out of last place."

"You'd better believe it, wey," Quillon said to Chris as he took his place at the tee. He set the red golf ball down. He stared the giraffe in the face. The giraffe looked at Quillon with menace in its eyes. It looked like it was out for blood.

But Quillon was not discouraged. He raised his club and swung the ball. Before Geraldine could react, the red spheroid flew past the giraffe's legs and into the hole as if the giraffe never guarded it to begin with.

"And it's a hole in one for Quillon!" Chris exclaimed.

- G -

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QUILLON: I never thought I could do it, but I actually did it... mami and papi are muy proud of me...

- G -

"Orale!" Quillon excitedly pumped his fist in the air. "My mom wants a new casa, and I'm one step closer to getting one for her! I will be poor no more, ese!"

After Quillon left, Chris said, "Velandra, you're up."

Just as Velandra took her place near where the purple ball ended up, she turned to Connor and said, "See, he looks like someone who needs the million dollars." Connor was confused.

- G -

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CONNOR: Is Velandra trying to tell me something? I just hope she didn't hear any of my confessionals... what if she did? [Connor is nervous.]

- G -

Velandra tried to hit the purple ball toward the hole again, but once again, the giraffe headbutted it away from the hole. But this time, the giraffe didn't butt the ball nearly as far back as it did the first time.

"Once again, Velandra comes up short!" Chris said. "Connor, you're up next."

Velandra fumed while Connor took his position. This time, the ball went past the giraffe's legs, but it didn't go into the hole.

"And Connor comes up short too!" Chris exclaimed. "Wow, the second hole really is tougher than the first! Velandra, you're up now."

Velandra took her position again. This time, Geraldine didn't headbutt the ball... but the ball approached one of the giraffe's legs, and Geraldine kicked it. In fact, it was kicked even farther from the hole than where it ended up during Velandra's first attempt!

- G -

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VELANDRA: Okay, this is golf, not soccer. That giraffe is messed-up in the head.

- G -

Connor was up next. Connor took his place where the green ball ended up, behind the giraffe. All it took was a simple putt for him to get the ball through the hole.

"And Connor gets 3 points!" Chris said.

"Boy, this hole is definitely not easy!" Connor said.

"Tell me about it," Velandra fumed as she took her position again. Once again, the giraffe kicked the ball away from the hole.

"Rayos!" Velandra screamed. She didn't do any better on her next three attempts, as the giraffe either headbutted or kicked the ball before it could go into the hole.

"My guess is, the giraffe just doesn't like you," Chris said. Velandra was angry.

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VELANDRA: Chris, dulce, the giraffe probably don't like you either.

- G -

Velandra angrily rubbed her hands together and prepared for her next shot. With venom in her eyes, she sent the golf ball flying past Geraldine and finally into the hole!

"It took eight strokes, but Velandra is finally on the board!" Chris exclaimed.

"Finally!" Velandra said as she whooped it up in celebration.

TEAM BETA - 5 / TEAM ALPHA - 5 / TEAM OMEGA - 9

- G -

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VELANDRA: Well, obviously, I would've done a lot better if the giraffe wasn't alive! Chris is a sneaky hombre...

- G -

After the second hole was completed, Quillon went over to Odessa. "Well?" he said. "What was it you were trying to tell me?"

"Well..." Odessa stammered. "I... I think I may be in love with you."

"Wow, out of the blue like that?" Quillon said.

"And since I heard you got a hole in one," Odessa continued, "I think I might be in love with you even more!" Odessa then wrapped her arms around Quillon and hugged him tightly.

- G -

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QUILLON: I could tell Odessa had her eyes on me, but I didn't know she was that much into me! I must be more of a chica magnet than I thought I was!

ODESSA: Who cares about the fire that destroyed our cabin? Quillon is hotter! Plus, he doesn't destroy cabins at all! Eeeeeeee!

- G -

While Odessa was still hugging Quillon, Chris made another announcement. "Okay then, Kieran, Ward and Zakeri, you're next! This hole is a doozy!" The three strong boys approached Chris upon hearing their names called.

- G -

Kieran, Ward and Zakeri took notice of the third hole and its obstacles. "G is for Garden! And G is also for Gate, which you have to get the ball through to get it into the garden! Oh, and the gate is on the opposite side of the garden from where you are! It's closed for now, but it should open when hit with a golf ball."

The three boys had to plan their shots carefully. A huge fence surrounded the garden, and the gate leading to the garden was on the other side. It seemed that it wasn't going to be a simple hole in one this time around. Also, the gate seemed to be closed, though not locked.

"Ward and Zakeri, your teams are currently tied for the lowest score. But Ward, since your team got their golf ball in their hole first in the last round, you get to go first!"

Ward took his place at the starting tee. "Everyone, stand back... Ward is gonna do some damage! YEEEAH!" Ward shouted, as he placed a red golf ball on the tee. He swung his club, and the ball rolled down the left path, stopping just at the back of the course.

"Not bad for a starting stroke," Chris said. "Zakeri, you're next."

Zakeri meditated while he was waiting, and after he heard his name, he spoke. "Oh, it's my turn? Okay then." He went to the starting tee and placed a green golf ball there. He hit the golf ball, but this time, he was aiming at the path on the right. It rolled down there, getting closer to the gate, but not enough.

"Again, not bad," Chris said. "Kieran's up."

"'Bout time," Kieran said, as he placed his purple golf ball on the tee. He calmly swung at the golf ball, aiming at the path on the right, just like Zakeri did. His stroke caused the ball to roll past Zakeri's.

"No hole in one from anyone that time, but you can still get two points," Chris said. "Or not. Ward, you're up again."

Ward took his place to where the red ball ended up. He hit his ball toward the closed gate...

"Hit it..." Ward said. "Hit it..."

But the ball rolled past the gate.

"Oh, so close!" Chris said. "Zakeri, you're up again."

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WARD: I could really use my therapy football right now... WHY DID CHRIS HAVE TO FREAKIN' BURN IT? WHY?

- G -

Zakeri went to where the green ball ended up. He looked at the closed gate and pondered it.

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ZAKERI: Very sneaky of Chris to put up a gate as part of the course. I know that hitting the gate with a golf ball could cause the gate to open... if you hit it hard enough, that is. But when you open the gate, you leave it open for the other contestants as well... Hmm... should I open it or shouldn't I? That's a tough choice...

- G -

Zakeri hits the ball close enough to the gate, but not so hard that it actually opens it.

"Not the best shot in the world," Chris said. "Kieran, you're up again."

Kieran putted the ball toward the gate as well. The ball rolled closer and closer to the gate, but not strong enough to actually open it.

"Lame," Chris said. "Ward, you're next."

"This is how you do it!" Ward said, and went to the red ball, and swung it so hard that it connected with the gate, and opened it. "WARD SMASH!" The gate opened, and revealed a garden filled with oversized fruits and vegetables.

"Nice!" Chris said. "You've left the gate open for yourself... and for your opponents, too! But they could whiff, and you could still be in the lead... we'll see."

- G -

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KIERAN: I was wondering when that gate would open. All we had to do was wait for Muscleman Ward to open that gate with force, and voila! Ah, it's nice when your competition does your work for you.

ZAKERI: I looked at the garden, and it was filled with all this prop food that Chef will probably end up cooking for dinner sometime later in the season! Sorry, Chef, but no thanks!

- G -

Now that the gate has been opened, it was a clear path to the next hole. Zakeri swung his club and the green ball rolled toward the newly-accessible hole, indicated with a flag bearing the number 3. It didn't make it to the hole all the way, but it was just close enough.

"Is anyone gonna get this?" Chris said. "Kieran, please do this."

"With pleasure," Kieran said, and he hit his purple ball through the open gate, and it rolled with enough force to go into the hole.

"Kieran has 3 points!" Chris said. "Ward, go ahead, brah."

"Stand back!" Ward said. Ward struck the ball with a huge swing... rolling the ball way past the hole.

"OH COME ON!" Ward shouted.

- G -

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WARD: I don't wanna play golf anymore. I hate it now!

- G -

"Yawn," Chris said. "Zakeri, you're up." Zakeri putted the green golf ball and it went into the hole.

"Four points for Mr. Z!" Chris said.

"That was a tough hole," Zakeri said. "Martial arts I can master, but golf? I have a long way to go to master it."

"Yeah, yeah," Chris said. "Ward, please end this."

Ward struck the red ball with his club. It rolled close enough to the hole, this time, but not far enough.

"NOT THIS AGAIN!" Ward shouted. This time, Ward, putted the ball toward the hole, and this time, it rolled in.

"Six points, wow," Chris said. "Would've expected better from you, but hey... you can't always get what ya want."

Ward fumed.

TEAM ALPHA - 9 / TEAM BETA - 11 / TEAM OMEGA - 12

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WARD: I feel like I may have let my team down with that crappy performance... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

- G -

The next three players, Blaine, Gareth and Ross, were gazing at the majesty of the fourth hole of the course. "G is for Gingerbread House!" Chris said, gesturing toward the house made of gingerbread. "Behold, the only house in the game that you can live in as well as eat! You need to shoot your ball into that mouse hole over there, and speaking of, some hungry mice have dibs on this tasty casa in about one hour, so you're gonna have to make this quick. Gareth, since your team's in the lead again, you're up."

"Yeah, and I bet he's gonna end up missing on most of his shots," Blaine said under his breath.

Gareth placed the green golf ball on his tee. He swung, and aimed the green ball at the mousehole. Amazingly, it rolled up the ramp, bounced off several rails, and into the mousehole exactly.

"Yes!" Gareth said, and while excitedly running toward where the ball would end up, he tripped down and fell. "Ow!" he said, holding his leg.

However, the ball came out of the mousehole in back, and rolled toward the hole (with a flag that had a number 4 on it) and down through it. Amazingly enough, Gareth had made a hole in one.

"Wow, who knew?" Chris said. "Gareth really lucked out here, and I don't know why, but he made a hole in one!"

"I did?" Gareth said. "I mean, I did! Yay for me!"

"Nice job, mon!" Ross said.

"I have got to know your secret," Blaine said, as he took his turn.

- G -

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GARETH: [crying] Okay, so I have been going to this one minigolf course a lot after school when I get depressed... and I practice there every day, hoping that a quick nine holes would ease the pain I get whenever a girl rejects me... [He holds his face in his hands and sobs.]

ROSS: Beginner's luck, mon. Beginner's luck. Dat's how da Rasta sees it.

- G -

"It's gonna be tough to top that," Chris said, "But Blaine, let's see you do it."

"You know I will!" Blaine placed his red ball on the golf tee. He swung the club, and the ball rolled up the ramp, but stopped just short.

"Wow, your sister must be so proud of you right now," Chris said. Blaine scowled.

- G -

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BLAINE: Okay, we get it, I'm related to Blaineley. Don't rub it in!

- G -

"Ross, you're up," Chris said. Ross took the purple golf ball and set it on the golf tee. One swing of his club later, and the ball rolled up the ramp, and angled past the first bumper, and to the second. It stopped just before the mousehole.

"The country of Jamaica must be so proud of you right now," Blaine said to Ross.

"Hey! I was gonna say that!" Chris said, while Blaine took his turn.

- G -

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ROSS: Bwoy, you nuh be actin' facety 'gainst de Rasta! In me 'ead me want to say dat to him face, but me nuh go deh.

BLAINE: As long as the secret's out that I'm Blaineley's brother, I might as well start acting like she did just to stay in the game, because I know I'm on the chopping block. I might as well go out swinging... pun intended.

- G -

Blaine went to where the red ball was, and hit the ball with the club. The ball rolled past the first bumper this time, and the second, stopping just before where Ross' ball was.

"Time for de Rasta to finish dis." Ross took his position near the purple ball. A putt later, and the ball rolled into the mousehole, where it came out in the back, and rolled into the hole, ending Ross' turn.

"Two points, not bad at all, dreadlocked dude!" Chris said.

"Excellent work, my friend," Blaine said to Ross. "I bet if Francesca saw that, she'd be impressed."

Ross was stunned. "Franny-girl?"

"Yep," Blaine said. "What's the matter? Aren't you in love with her?"

Ross was embarrassed.

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ROSS: Blaine-bwoy, why you bring up Franny-girl? If you t'ink you be t'rowin' off de Rasta's game, it nuh workin'!

BLAINE: Ross and Francesca sittin' in a tree... K - I - S - S - I - N - G!

- G -

When it was Blaine's turn again, the talk show hostess' brother putted the red ball into the mousehole, and the ball ended up the same way the purple ball did... down the hole.

"3 points," Chris said. "But there are still three holes left, so anything can happen! Maybe the team positions will change, maybe not... but I'm looking forward to it!"

TEAM ALPHA - 10 / TEAM OMEGA - 14 / TEAM BETA - 14

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BLAINE: Hey, it could be worse... my ten-strokes-or-higher-over-par sister would have taken my place!

- G -

The course was more than half over, and Desirae, Hektor, and Luna were greeted by the fifth part of the course. "G is for Graveyard! Oooh, it's so spooooooky!" he said in a scary voice, while he gestured toward the gravestones that littered the area. "Yeah, this is where all the people who sucked at mini-golf are buried. In any case, this course is a bit more challenging than the others, so I don't see how you can get a hole in one here! Hektor, you're up, my man."

Hektor went to the tee. He set the green ball down on it, and studied the course carefully. He looked at the positions of the gravestones, as well as the bumpers and rails.

"Geez, dude, you sure are into tombstones, huh?" Chris said to Hektor. "Weird kid."

"I'm not that much into them!" Hektor said.

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HEKTOR: Although po-po did say that if I ever failed a geometry test, she'd take me to see a gravestone herself! I am proud to say that she never actually did.

- G -

Hektor was ready this time. He hit the green ball at an angle... it bounced off the obstacles with precision and rolled into the hole at the end, marked with a flag with the number 5. It was another hole in one.

"Wow, I don't know how you did it, but you did it!" Chris said. "Team Alpha retains its lead!"

"Ooh, you on fire, sug'!" Desirae said to Hektor.

"You owned that graveyard!" Luna said.

- G -

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HEKTOR: All I had to do was line my shot at a 48-degree angle to the left when facing the tombstone in front of the hole. The ball will then hit the bumper on the path to another bumper, forming an 88-degree angle between the first path and the second. However, on the way to the hole, it will form a 75-degree angle between the second path and the third. And the only way to successfully pull this shot off is to hit the ball with the right amount of force, resulting in the correct velocity of 12 feet per second. It's actually easy when you think about it.

- G -

"Luna, you're up!" Chris said, as Luna placed her ball on her tee. She then stood with her hands on the ground, and her feet in the air. She was holding the golf club in her teeth!

"Whoa, sug'!" Desirae said. "You freaky!"

Luna just smiled, even with the golf club in her teeth, and used the club to hit the ball. The ball amazingly did the same thing that Hektor's ball did, and ended up with a hole in one in the end!

"I can't freakin' believe it," Chris said. "Even doing a handstand, and with a golf club in your mouth, you manage a hole in one."

Luna spit the golf club out of her mouth. "Years of practice!"

- G -

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LUNA: I don't get why most people don't play golf using this technique. It was fun for me! This one time, when I played mini golf, I used this technique in front of my parents. They were speechless!

- G -

Desirae was still stunned. "Okay, Desirae, I don't know how you're gonna beat that, but you're still up!"

Desirae set her red ball on the tee, and did some kind of disco dance move before she swung the club.

"Okay, what was that?" Chris laughed.

"Well, if these foo's gon' do some crazy moves to win, I might as well get my dance on!" Desirae said.

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DESIRAE: I'm probably not gon' beat either of them now, but it was worth a shot, y'all!

- G -

Desirae swung her club, and the ball bounced off the first bumper, but just fell short of making it to the second. But it was still in front of the hole.

"I thought it was gonna be a hat trick, but okay," Chris said. "Desirae, it's still your turn, and try not to suck this time."

Desirae putted the ball toward the hole when...

"OH NO! A ZOMBIE IS ABOUT TO EMERGE FROM THE GROUND!" Chris shouted.

But the ball rolled into the hole.

"Ha!" Desirae said to Chris. "You think you can play Desirae? Think again!"

"Whatev, you've got 2 points, and there are still two holes left. Sheesh!" Chris said.

TEAM ALPHA - 11 / TEAM OMEGA - 15 / TEAM BETA - 16

- G -

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DESIRAE: I may have lost my mood ring, but it was worth it seein' Chris' tactics fail!

- G -

After Desirae, Hektor, and Luna left the course, Chris addressed the contestants. "Okay, next up are Talwen, um, the N girl, and Ireland!"

Nevaeh and Talwen showed up, but Chris noticed Ireland was missing.

"Um, where is Ireland?" Chris asked.

"It's in Europe," Luna replied. "Duuuuuuuuhhhhhh!"

"No, I mean, Ireland, the contestant!" Chris shouted.

"Now that you mention it, Kieran ain't here neither," Desirae observed. "Where they be at?"

Just then, the contestants heard some giggling coming from behind some bushes. Luna went to where the bushes were, and saw Ireland and Kieran were making out. Luna then extended her arms, and started to tickle the two of them.

"Ha ha... oh stop it, that tickles!" Ireland said. "Oh, it's my turn now? Okay." Ireland went over to where Nevaeh and Talwen were.

- G -

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IRELAND: I can't wait until this hole is finished... maybe it's one Kieran will like. I hope it's eco-friendly!

LUNA: My tickle-fingers saved the day! [Luna wiggles her fingers around.] These babies are going to end all wars eventually!

KIERAN: I gotta hand it to that girl... she can be persistent when she wants to be.

- G -

Chris took Ireland, Nevaeh and Talwen to a dark, blacklit area where there are neon-lit drawings of ghosts on the walls. "G is for Ghosts!" Chris said. "Thought the graveyard was scary? The ghost hole takes this one up to 11 in the scare department! These ghosts are such tricksters, as there are lots of trapdoors and other secrets... you don't know where your ball will end up! Anyway, N girl, you're up!"

"It's 'Nuh-VEE-uh'!" Nevaeh shouted.

"Whatev, you're still up," Chris said.

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NEVAEH: I don't know which part of the hole was scarier... the ghosts... or *gulp* Chris!

- G -

Nevaeh was scared by the spooky ambience of this part of the course, but knew she needed to complete it anyway. She placed the green ball on the tee, hit it with the club, and it rolled up the ramp and toward a rigged mechanism. After the ball landed on the mechanism, the spring sent the ball flying back to the starting area.

"Ooh, off to a sucky start," Chris said. "Ireland, you're next." Ireland took her position at the starting tee.

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IRELAND: My guess is that these ghosts were of people who were tired of unwanted visitors littering in their house! …Okay, they're technically fake, but I understand the symbolism behind it!

- G -

Ireland hit the purple ball off the tee. The ball rolled past the mechanism, but it stopped just short of reaching another similar mechanism.

"Interesting," Chris said. "Nothing majorly scary yet, but interesting. Talwen, you're up."

Talwen placed her red ball on the tee. She hit the ball with her club, and it rolled past the mechanisms and into a hole in the wall.

"Yes," Talwen said to herself. "Our team is back in this!"

Just then a trapdoor opened in the wall, just above Talwen's head. The ball spurted out, and knocked Talwen on the head, causing Talwen to fall. Her glasses fell off her head, and they broke.

"Ooh!" Chris said. "That was some bad luck! Good thing I'm not wearing any!"

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TALWEN: Oh great, not only do I lose my diary, but I also break my glasses... this is not the best day of my life so far. I really think this ghost house has it out for me. But I still think the neon ambience would make it a suitable place to live in.

- G -

"N girl, you're next!" Chris said.

"I'm not even going to correct you anymore," Nevaeh said, as she went to where the green ball was. She swung her club at the ball. The ball rolled past the first trapdoor, but hit the second. Nevaeh had to duck to avoid the flying ball. Nevaeh noticed a raised area where the ball could end up... but the ball ended up rolling off that area onto the ground.

"Weak," Chris said. "Ireland, your shot."

Ireland went to where the purple ball was. She swung her club at it, causing it to roll past the second trapdoor and into the hole in the wall. This time, she remembered to duck whenever the ball was flying out. It landed on a raised platform that was above everyone's heads. Ireland could barely make it out in the blacklit coloring. The hole, which had a flag with a number 6 on it, was also there. The ball rolled toward it, but stopped short.

"Girl without glasses," Chris said. "You're now up."

"I don't know if I can do this," Talwen said, still dazed. Without her glasses, she imagined that everything in front of her would be a blur now.

But Talwen opened her eyes. Amazingly, the area was not a blur, as she seemed to make everything out. She could see where the trapdoors and raised platforms were. It was as if she was still wearing her glasses and they never broke.

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TALWEN: Apparently, I didn't even need my glasses after all. These glasses were, in retrospect, part of my scholarly image, but now I'm just another face in the crowd - just with more hair dye than normal.

- G -

Talwen stood up and went to where the red ball ended up. "I'm ready, Chris."

"Um, I'm over here," Chris said to Talwen.

"I know." Talwen smiled confidently. Talwen, now sans glasses, hit the red ball toward the two trapdoors. It rolled past them and into the hole in the wall. Talwen remembered to duck this time, and the red ball rolled onto the raised platform, just near the purple ball.

"Is anyone gonna complete this hole?" Chris said. "Seriously, you three play like girls!"

"Um, we are girls," Ireland replied.

"No excuse," Chris replied back. "Girl whose name starts with N, your turn."

Nevaeh went back to where the green ball was, and tried rolling toward the second trapdoor again. The ball triggered the trapdoor and flung it toward the raised platform again, but this time it stayed on there!

However, it wasn't as close to the hole as the red and purple balls were.

"Not even close," Chris said. "Ireland, do something here!"

Since the purple ball was closer to the hole, Ireland took a short putt, and the ball sank in.

"Ireland has 3 points!" Chris exclaimed. "Talwen, it's your turn!"

"Thank you very much, Chris," Talwen said, as she went to the red ball, and putted the ball into the hole without incident.

"And Talwen also gets 3 points!" Chris said. "The N girl is gonna get more points anyway, but let's see how she does."

Nevaeh was a bit insulted at Chris' remark, but didn't let it faze her. She putted her ball toward the hole, but it stopped short.

"Ooh! Try again!" Chris said.

Nevaeh did try again. The ball was closer to the hole this time, but it rolled past it!

"Yikes!" Chris said. "Are you really that bad?"

"Must be these lights," Nevaeh said. "They're really creepy!"

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NEVAEH: My family planned on avoiding any haunted-house-themed golf courses for a good reason!

- G -

Nevaeh putted the ball again. This time, the ball went in the hole!

"And the N girl brings home 6 points!" Chris exclaimed. "There's only one hole left, and trust me, it'll make all the difference between winning and losing!"

TEAM ALPHA - 17 / TEAM OMEGA - 18 / TEAM BETA - 19

- G -

The three remaining contestants, Ashlynn, Payson and York, were approaching the final hole of the course. In front of them was a wall with 25 small doors, each numbered 1 through 25. "G is for Guessing Game!" Chris said. "You will have to guess which of these doors is going to lead you to the hole! Well, I can tell you that a lot of these doors will not lead you there... just three of them will, but I'm not sayin' which ones, so there." Chris blew a raspberry at the three campers, while Chef handed them their clubs.

- G -

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ASHLYNN: Oh great... I can tell from the scores that our team is in last place right now. Chris did say that the losing team would be gone after this challenge... well, we've lost two alliance members, we've lost our things, and Talwen lost her glasses... and I've probably lost some weight over these past few days. [She pats her stomach.]

YORK: Even though Nevaeh sucked in the last round, we're still in the lead... and I intend to keep it that way. [She smiles evilly.]

PAYSON: Twenty-five freaking doors? Dang, that's a lotta doors! It's like a giant advent calendar, only with no chocolate inside! My guess is, if there was chocolate in there, Chris would've eaten it all!

OWEN: [with chocolate on his mouth] Nope! Got to it first!

- G -

"York, you're first!" Chris said.

"You can say that again," York said with a smile on her face. She put the green ball on the tee. Aiming toward the door marked with the number 13, she hit the ball, and it rolled toward that door. As soon as the ball rolled through the door, the door closed behind it. A small compartment in the wall opened and spat out the green ball, hitting York on the head with it.

"Ouch!" Chris howled. "Now we know why the number 13 is unlucky!"

York rubbed her head in agony.

- G -

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YORK: Now that Chris has added my name to the "List of Injuries" section of his wiki, I've added his name to my list of people not to give Christmas cards to. So there!

- G -

"Payson, it's your turn!" Chris said. Payson placed the purple ball on the tee, and studied his choices. With the number 13 out of the running, there were still twenty-four doors to choose from... still so many doors.

"This one looks good," Payson said to himself, as he looked at the door with the number 5 above it. Payson swung the club, and the ball rolled toward that door. The door closed behind the ball, and the ball came out of another compartment, and hit Payson on the head.

"Come on, Payson, get your head in the game!" Chris laughed. Payson was angry.

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PAYSON: Dang! It must suck knowing that our team came all this way, and we could lose it just because of one lousy hole! Chris, you're a mean old man!

- G -

"Ashlynn, your turn," Chris said. "Oh, and by the way, 5 and 13 are no longer available, so choose one of the other 23 options. Though you'll probably choose either 5 or 13 anyway just for chuckles, but... go ahead." Chris laughed. Ashlynn just frowned, and then set the red ball on the tee. She hit the ball, aiming toward the door with the number 18 above it. The door, like the others, closed behind the ball.

Ashlynn anticipated another flying golf ball, so she ducked this time. However, the ball came out of a different compartment, and flew towards Ashlynn and hit her in the rear end!

"Ow!" shouted Ashlynn.

"Surprise! Didn't see that one coming, huh?" Chris said, and then he laughed. Ashlynn frowned at him.

- G -

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ASHLYNN: You know, I've been wondering why we haven't thought of using our golf clubs to hit Chris in the shins. I'm sure it's probably against the rules, but then again, if we all did that, we'd be the real winners!

- G -

York was up next. Going to where the green ball was, she hit it towards the door marked with the number 20. "I'm not going to lose!" York said.

The ball flew out of a compartment, and flew toward York, who ducked. "You lose!" said Chris.

"Grr!" scowled York.

- G -

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YORK: How am I supposed to freaking know which door is the correct one? There are no freakin' clues! What, do I have to try out every door that isn't the correct one until the correct ones remain?

- G -

It was Payson's turn next. Aiming toward the door marked with the number 2, he waited. The flying purple ball then hit him in the kiwis!

"That had to hurt!" Chris said. "Now you're never going to have any children at all!" Payson was very sad.

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PAYSON: Guess what? Neither will you, pops!

- G -

Ashlynn took her turn next. "Gee, I wonder which number you will pick that will likely end up being the wrong choice?" Chris mocked her.

Despite this, Ashlynn aimed towards the door marked with the number 17 above it. The door closed behind it, like normally, and this time, the red ball came out of a tube on the top of the wall, towards a giant hole with the number 7 flag. The ball rolled into the hole, and some red lights started flashing and horns started sounding. Red confetti was being spit out toward Ashlynn.

"Congrats, Ashlynn, you have completed the hole with 2 points! But you'd better hope the others wipe out, because your team's still in last place for the time being!" Chris said.

"Thanks for reminding me," Ashlynn said.

TEAM ALPHA - 19 / TEAM OMEGA - 20 / TEAM BETA - 21

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ASHLYNN: I guess I lucked out with that hole! A trip to the Luxury Cabin would be worth it after losing all our stuff! Now all I have to do is sit back and watch the other two increase their point totals.

YORK: I am not losing my team! Although my team is almost completely worthless and hardly ever does anything... but still, I do not want to go home this early!

- G -

York went to where the green ball was, and aimed it toward the door with the number 14 above it. The ball rolled in, and the door closed behind it. "And now, the confetti appears," she said to herself.

But a secret compartment opened, the green ball flew out, and hit York in the head when she wasn't looking. "Guess what? It didn't," Chris said.

York was really angry.

- G -

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YORK: I will not let Mr. Rap Star Wannabe beat me! I am going to have to pull out all the stops!

- G -

As soon as Payson went to where the purple ball was, York shouted to him, "Gee, it must be awfully boring now that Justus is gone, huh?"

"Huh?" Payson responded. He was aiming toward the door marked with the number 22 above it. However, the ball stopped short just as it approached the door.

"Ooh, so close and yet so far," Chris said.

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ASHLYNN: Not this again...

PAYSON: I thought that since Justus was booted, I would be over him. But York has to bring it up!

- G -

York now putted her ball towards the door marked with the 22, the very door that the purple ball was about to enter. The door closed behind it. "Yes!" York said.

But a compartment opened up and spit the green ball back to the start. "No!" York shouted.

Payson smiled confidently and went back to the purple ball, this time aiming for the door with the number 21 above it. He was about to hit it when...

"Yo yo yo!" shouted York to Payson. "You're so slow, it's time for you to go, you ain't got no bizness bein' on this show!" She then adopted what she thought was a cool "gangsta" pose.

Her distraction caused Payson to lose concentration for a bit, causing his putt to just miss the "21" door.

- G -

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PAYSON: Must not think about rapping... must not think about rapping... must not think about rapping...

- G -

York took advantage of this by hitting her ball towards the door marked with the number 21. This time, some green lights flashed, and green confetti was sprayed all over the place as the green ball landed in the hole marked with the 7 flag.

"And York completes the hole with 5 strokes! Which means Team Beta is guaranteed invincibility with a total of 21 strokes!"

Ashlynn was excited. "Yes! Our team is going nowhere for a while!" and then she hugged Chris.

"Please don't do that."

TEAM BETA - 21 / TEAM ALPHA - 22 / TEAM OMEGA - 23

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ASHLYNN: Ha! This is what you get for burning down our cabin! Sweet payback!

- G -

"I'm goin' to win this!" shouted Payson, as he hit the purple ball towards the door marked with the number 4.

"Um, dude..." Chris said to Payson. But before Chris could finish, Payson had already rolled the ball into the door. It closed behind, and the ball spit out back to the start.

"Okay, wrong door," Payson said, as he tried the door marked with the number 9 above it. Once again, it was the wrong door.

"Urgh!" Payson said, as he tried the door marked with the number 3. Again, it was a wrong door.

"Fail," Chris said.

Payson attempted the door marked with the number 1. It didn't work.

"Nope," Chris said.

Payson next hit the ball towards the door marked with the number 6. Again, failure.

"Nada," Chris said.

Payson then tried doors 15 and 16. They didn't work either.

"Boooooring," Chris said.

Doors 7 and 8 did not work for Payson. Neither did doors 23, 24, and 25.

"You really suck at this game, don't you?" Chris said to Payson, after he unsuccessfully tried door # 19. #10 and #11 met with a similar result.

Finally, Payson rolled his ball toward door number 12. It was the third correct door, judging from the purple flashing lights and purple confetti that appeared, along with the ball rolling into the hole marked with the number 7.

"Congrats, Payson! You have completed the final hole!" Chris announced. "And all it took you was a whopping twenty strokes! You have gotten your team the biggest point total in this game, but since Teams Beta and Alpha are like way ahead of you, like even before you decided to try out like every door on this hole, your team's goin' to the Bonfire Ceremony tonight!"

Payson frowned, while York smirked and folded her arms across her chest.

TEAM BETA - 21 / TEAM ALPHA - 22 / TEAM OMEGA - 39

- G -

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YORK: The only way I like when people do stupid things is when they're on the other teams. I'm sure Justus will be pleased to see Payson on the front steps of the Playa de Losers. The two of them have so much to talk about.

PAYSON: York psyched me out during the challenge, and I... I kinda lost it. Now there's going to be no more Team Omega, and it's probably all my fault... ...but I won't go down without a fight!

- G -

After the challenge was over, all twenty-one contestants gathered in front of the cabins. Chris was still in his golf getup.

"So three teams now become two!" Chris said. "Team Beta, you will sleep in the Luxury Cabin!" Ashlynn, Blaine, Desirae, Odessa, Quillon, Talwen, and Ward cheered.

"Team Alpha, you have second place, and while you won't be sleeping in the Luxury Cabin tonight, you're still in the game!" Chris said to Connor, Gareth, Hektor, Nevaeh, Unique, York, and Zakeri, who also cheered.

"Which leaves Team Omega..." Chris said to Francesca, Ireland, Kieran, Luna, Payson, Ross, and Velandra, who were all frowning.

"Yeah, all seven of us are probably going after that lame performance from some of us," Payson said.

"I shouldn't be going yet!" Francesca said. "I got a hole in one!"

"Me too!" Luna said.

"Actually, here's how it's gonna work," Chris said. "Tonight, all seven of you are going to the Bonfire Ceremony to vote someone out. As for what happens to the six of you that survive, well, you'll find out after the ceremony. Anyway, G is for Good luck, because you're gonna need it!" Chris laughed... then while he was laughing...

"Hey, catch, m'hijo!" Velandra snatched Chris' golf cap off his head and threw it far onto the ground.

"My cap!" Chris said. When Chris kneeled over to pick it up, his pants ripped open, and the campers could see his polka-dotted boxer shorts. All twenty-one of the campers laughed, and Chris was embarrassed.

- G -

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PAYSON: Heh... Chris got a hole in one - in his pants!

VELANDRA: Ay... that was something I did not need to see... but as long as it didn't happen to me, I'm okay with that!

- G -

Velandra was standing behind the charred remains of what was once the Loser Cabin. She was with Francesca, Ross, and Luna.

"Okay, the reason I brought you three here is because we gonna blindside Payson tonight," the red-haired Latina said.

"I and I be down wid dat!" Ross said. "Seriously... t'irty-nine strokes and more dan 'alf of dem be from Payson."

"Yeah, he's giving miniature golf a bad name!" Francesca said.

"Yeah, plus he doesn't want to rap anymore!" Luna said. Francesca, Ross, and Velandra stared awkwardly at Luna.

"I'm just sayin'," Luna replied.

"In any case, in order for all of us to make it to tomorrow, we need to get rid of him... ahora... now," Velandra said, snapping her fingers. "I would have asked Kieran and Ireland to go along with this plan, but I don't know where those two are at right now. But yeah, the four of us should be enough."

"Yeah!" Ross exclaimed. "Him gaan!"

- G -

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VELANDRA: The members of my team are loco if they vote off anyone other than that tonto Payson. And I think that Kieran and Ireland are just as loco as he is, since they're probably off somewhere spooning each other like Geoff and Bridgette did años ago. But who cares? After Payson's gone, those two are probably next anyway.

- G -

Payson was somewhere in the forest, obviously a bit apprehensive about the upcoming vote-off.

"This stinks," Payson said to himself. "Maybe if I stay here forever, I can not have to worry about the ceremony..."

Just then, Payson heard some noises coming from high in the nearby tree. He climbed the tree (he had apparently had some practice from trying to climb trees earlier this week), and he saw that on the tree branch was Kieran and Ireland making out!

"Whoa!" Payson said when he saw the two. "What are you two doing here?"

"Payson!" Kieran said. "You caught us just in time!"

"Yeah, we're worried that we might be targets tonight because of, you know, our makeout session earlier in the challenge," Ireland said. "So we just thought we'd get together one more time, and... well, you know."

"Looks like you're not the only targets tonight," Payson said. "I'm one too."

"Yeah, the twenty-stroke thing," Kieran said. "Well, we know Velandra choked on that challenge too, so maybe she should go too."

"I worry that she might do something to split up the both of us," Ireland said.

"Yeah, my name's probably going to be written down a lot," Payson said to the couple. "But it looks like it's just the three of us, so unless someone from the other side were to flip..."

"Whee!" shouted a voice. Payson, Ireland and Kieran looked to see where the voice was coming from. It was Luna, who was cartwheeling on the ground and performing flips in the air.

The other three climbed down the tree they were on to meet Luna. "Wow, that was just the thing we needed to brighten our spirits!" Ireland said.

"Thanks!" Luna said. "I'm practicing my flips! Sometimes I feel like flipping around in the air without a care! Flips are fun!"

Kieran patted Luna on the back. "Speaking of flips..."

"I'm listening!" Luna said.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

KIERAN: If you were to ask me a week ago if I were to ever form an alliance with Luna, you'd think I would be even crazier than she is. But sometimes desperate times cause people to do crazy things, and right now... [he takes off his sunglasses] I'm crazier than a loon.

IRELAND: I'd love to stick around long enough to take a look at these beautiful trees some more... since, sadly, they might not be around forever. Chris McClean, don't you dare cut down these trees!

- G -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The seven members of Team Omega sat on the tree stumps and Chris was there to greet them. "Congratulations for sucking at the challenge today," Chris said. "Ah, Team Omega, appropriately-named after the last letter of the Greek alphabet! This team just loves to be associated with last place, doesn't it?"

"Let's get on with it, amigo," Velandra said with an impatient tone.

"And since this is where Team Omega will finally be no more, it's going to be a very special ceremony," Chris said. "So we invited the other fourteen contestants to witness the action! Come on out, campers!"

Chef brought the seven members of Team Alpha over to the Bonfire Ceremony, while Alyssa came by with the seven members of Team Beta.

"Finally, we get to witness some more backstabbing that isn't from our team!" Blaine said. "This is so cool!"

"This will be exciting!" Unique exclaimed.

"Okay, Teams Alpha and Beta, take a good long look at Team Omega, because it will be the last time you will ever see one of them!" Chris said to the campers. "Now, Team Formerly-known-as-Omega, it's time to get the voting over with!"

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

PAYSON: I could see why Elvio was terrified of Velandra... she's very intimidating. Plus she has a lot of dirt about several of the contestants, myself included. She has to go. This is for you, Elvio and Skyler!

VELANDRA: Payson, adios. Take that annoying pink cap of yours and get out of our lives forever!

LUNA: I don't know who to vote for! Velandra wants me to vote off Payson, Payson wants me to vote off Velandra... I'm in the freaking middle! It's just like that creamy white center trapped between two chocolate cookies... speaking of, I hope there's some chocolate cookies after the ceremony!

- G -

Chris returned, this time carrying a box of alphabet cookies. "You all the drill, first letter of your name gets a cookie, blah blah blah," he said. "Let's get on with it. The first cookie goes to Ross!" Chris gave an R-shaped cookie to Ross.

"Jammin'!" Ross said.

"Luna, you get one too!" Chris threw an L-shaped cookie Luna's way.

"Francesca!" Francesca received an F-shaped cookie.

"Kieran gets a cookie too!" Kieran caught the K-shaped cookie.

"So does Ireland!" Ireland took the I-shaped cookie Chris threw.

"Payson... Velandra... both of you sucked majorly at the challenge today," Chris said. "But only one of you is going home tonight. The final cookie goes to..."

Payson was really nervous while he was sitting on his tree stump. He was crossing his fingers and praying like crazy. Velandra was staring him down the entire time, with her hands on her hips.

- A -

- B -

- C -

- D -

- E -

- F -

- G -

- H -

- I -

- J -

- K -

- L -

- M -

- N -

- O -

- P -

- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

"...Payson!" Chris gave a P-shaped cookie to Payson. "Yeah baby!" Payson shouted excitedly.

Velandra stood there, with her mouth open, in shock. "I... I cannot believe all you people! How could you keep someone like him... someone who lost the challenge for you, and is probably going to lose challenges for you further down the road if you let him?" The other members of Team Omega were taken aback.

"Oh, and about that rapping thing," Velandra continued. "Payson says he's given it all up, but believe me... one of these days he's going to start rapping again."

Payson was shocked. "Seriously?" he said.

"Oh, and I have a few more things to tell all of you, just in case any of these people end up on your team," Velandra said to the other contestants. "You know Ireland and Kieran are in love with each other, right? But did you know the two of them knew each other before the show began?"

The other contestants were stunned, including Ireland and Kieran themselves.

"How..." Ireland stammered. "How did she...?"

"Also Francesca and Ross say they're not in love with each other," Velandra said. "But I can tell the two of them are, so they should just admit it and get it over with!"

"What?" Francesca asked. "Never!"

"Me nuh believe this!" Ross protested.

"Oh, and you know about Blaine being related to Blaineley, so I won't go into that. But if any of you are thinking of giving the million dollars to Connor if he ends up in the finals," Velandra continued. "...then you'll be giving him something he already has!"

A great deal of the contestants were shocked. Nevaeh, in particular, was stunned. "Connor..." she stammered. "Really?"

"Yes, it's true," Connor admitted.

"And York... you are just a sneaky snake-in-the-grass, so I hope someone votes you off the first chance they get!" Velandra said while pointing to the pink-haired villainess. "You've been responsible for a lot of things that went wrong during this first week!"

"Oh really?" York said while giving a smug smile.

"And Gareth," Velandra said to the white-haired desperate boy. "York don't like you, so don't even bother with her anymore."

Gareth cried. "She doesn't? Why? Is it my breath? I could've sworn I used mouthwash this morning!"

"And one more thing!" Velandra said to everyone around her. "You know Morganne was looking for some immunity idol, right? Well, someone other than her was already looking for it... all I have to say is you know who that person is!"

Everyone else stood silent in shock.

"Okay, I'm done now. Get the Boat of Losers and get me out of this stupid place already," she said, as she left the bonfire ceremony.

"Wow..." Chris said.

- G -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

VELANDRA: Ha! Though the rest of the stuff I said was true, I made the whole immunity idol story up just to go out with a bang and make everyone point fingers at each other! There's gonna be a big mess at camp later on, but don't ask me to clean it up, because I'm not gonna be there.

YORK: She's good. Too good. Glad she's out of my hair, though.

- G -

After the Boat of Losers took Velandra out of the game, Chris talked to the twenty remaining contestants. "And then there were twenty!" he said. "Since three teams are now two, I thought I'd celebrate this occasion by giving all of you a present, because... G is for Gifts!"

Chef rolled out a cart containing fourteen gift boxes... seven with green wrapping on it, and the other seven with red wrapping on it. "Team Alpha, the green boxes are yours, and Team Beta, you get the red boxes!" The two teams opened the boxes and found lots of cool stuff in there!

"Wow, T-shirts!" Hektor said, as he took out a green T-shirt that bore the Team Alpha logo.

"Neat!" Odessa said as she took a red T-shirt with the Team Beta logo out of her gift box. But the members of Team Beta found something else in there...

"Wait a minute!" Ward said as he took out what he thought was his therapy football. "My therapy football?"

"This looks like my diary," Talwen said as she pulled out what appeared to be her diary. "I lost my glasses, so I don't know if it is..."

"Ah, it is," Chris said. "You really think all that stuff of yours was gonna burn up in the Loser Cabin? Ha! I just made you think that so I could watch the looks on your faces!"

The members of Team Beta were angry at Chris.

"Chris, you are a dead man," Ashlynn said angrily.

"I know," Chris replied. "Anyway, it wouldn't be fair to deny the other six their presents! Alyssa, chop chop!"

Alyssa pushed a cart with six boxes with purple wrapping on it. "Phew, this cart must weigh a ton!" Alyssa stopped the cart when it reached everyone else. "Actually, no, it doesn't, but I just thought I'd say that to make it interesting!"

"Okay... Francesca, Ireland, Kieran, Luna, Payson, and Ross," Chris said. "Pick a box, but don't open them until I tell you to!"

The six former members of Team Omega each dove in and grabbed a purple box for their very own.

"Okay, you really want to see what's inside those boxes?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, and I bet it'll be some kind of T-shirt or something like everyone else has," Francesca said.

"Well, maybe it is!" Chris said. "Francesca, why don't you open yours?"

Francesca opened her box. Inside it was a green T-shirt with the Team Alpha logo on it. "Team Alpha?" she said. "That means..."

"Yep," Chris said. "Francesca, you are now a member of Team Alpha! Francesca, take your spot next to the other people who have green T-shirts like you do."

Francesca joined the other members of Team Alpha. "Wow, Francesca, long time no see," Zakeri said.

"I missed you so much," Francesca said to Zakeri. "Glad we're teammates again."

"Ireland, what do you have?" Chris said.

Ireland opened her gift box. "My T-shirt has a Team Beta logo," Ireland said. "Does that mean I'm..."

"...on Team Beta? Why, yes, you are," Chris continued.

"Okay, if you say so," Ireland said, as she joined up with the other Team Beta members.

"Ireland, welcome back!" Talwen said as she hugged Ireland.

"Oh, Talwen, I didn't recognize you without your glasses," Ireland said to Talwen.

"Kieran, will you be joining Ireland?" Chris said to Kieran. "Let's find out!"

Kieran opened his gift box, and received a Team Beta T-shirt. "I'm staying with you, babe!" Kieran said to Ireland and the two of them hugged.

"And Team Beta gains a showmance!" Chris said. "Let's learn Luna's fate!"

Luna tore into her gift box, and hugged the green T-shirt that was inside. "Green T-shirts are awesome!" she said.

"And Luna brings Team Alpha to nine members!" Chris said. "Luna, join the others!"

Luna walked on her hands to the other members of Team Alpha. "I missed you all!" she said to Nevaeh, Connor, Gareth and York.

"We missed you too!" said Gareth.

"Speak for yourself," York said under her breath.

"All that's left is Payson and Ross," Chris said. "Payson, it's your turn."

Payson opened his gift, and pulled out a green Team Alpha T-shirt. "Whoa, I'm on Team Alpha this time," Payson said. "This is surreal!"

"Payson, join the other members of the green team, won't you?" Chris said. Payson went to the group of nine at Team Alpha.

"Payson, long time no see!" Hektor said to Payson.

"What's crackin'?" Payson said, as he and Hektor bumped fists.

"And by default Ross goes to..." Chris said, as Ross opened his gift and pulled out a red Team Beta T-shirt.

"Irie!" Ross said. "My new team be de best!" He joined the other nine members of Team Beta and gave Quillon a high-five.

"You've come back, vato!" Quillon said.

"Me bring our team closer to victory, mon!" Ross replied.

"And so brings another epic episode of Total Drama to an end," Chris said to the viewers at home. "I think all of the twenty remaining contestants got what they wanted... and if they didn't? Too bad! They're stuck with what they've got for now! How will all of them deal with each other now that it's just two teams this time? Find out next time, on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY

Velandra (4) - Ireland, Kieran, Luna, Payson

Payson (3) - Francesca, Ross, Velandra

Episode 8: The "H" Bomb

Chris started his usual opening routine on the Dock of Shame. "Last time, on Total Drama Alphar- WHOAAA!" He was interrupted when he realized too late that a section of the dock had been sawed off, which left the host almost completely drenched by the water below. "Okay, to whoever did this... NOT FUNNY!" he said. "Anyway, where was I?"

The footage from the previous episode brought back memories of an epic not-to-be-missed event.

"Our twenty-one teens took to the links and putted their butts off, because in a while, three teams would become two! I made Team Beta think they lost their stuff in a fire, but, as it turns out, they actually didn't! Talwen, however, did lose her glasses, Ward lost his temper, and Blaine lost any reason to hide who he really was anymore. Oh, and they won the challenge. Team Alpha did too, which meant that Team Omega would soon be going... going... gone! Payson did one of the dumbest things this season when he shot WAY too many strokes over par, but in the end, it was Velandra who got sliced in the most shocking blindside yet! And boy, was she teed off! She revealed a lot of secrets about the campers, most of which they didn't already know, and some of which they wish they didn't!"

We see Chris on the Dock of Shame again, this time drying himself off.

"It's Alpha vs. Beta this time around as 20 campers face off in a challenge for the ages, and also for the 'H's! Have another heaping helping of Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"

- A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z -

[TEAM BETA - LUXURY CABIN]

Reggae music blared from the stereo in the living room as Ross celebrated being part of Team Beta for the first time. The reggae music was so fun to listen to, that Desirae the dancer could not help but dance to it! Quillon joined in! Even Odessa, though she couldn't listen to the music, danced anyway!

"Chido music, ese!" Quillon said to Ross.

"Ah, nutting like de sound of steel drums that motivate we into doin' our bes'," Ross said. "We be jammin', mon!"

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ROSS: I and I may have been sad to be on de losin' team last time, but de reggae always make me 'appy! But me feel bad dat her neva' got to share dis experience dat night... [He sighs.] ...Oh, but it probably nuh important.

QUILLON: I know Rasta way back from the early Team Alpha days, ese. He is a nice vato to have around. If he wants to blast reggae, who am I to tell him he can't do that? Because, really, who don't love reggae? I promised myself that if we win the challenge again, I'm gonna show him some reggaeton in return! What's reggaeton, you ask? Well, reggaeton is like reggae, but it has the letters T, O, and N at the end, homes!

- H -

Quillon and Odessa made a makeshift limbo bar (it was the two of them holding a pool cue stick) and Ross and Desirae both limboed as low as they could go... which was very low, luckily for the both of them!

"Dang, sug', I sho' feel... 'irie', as you call it, brutha!" Desirae said to Ross.

"De Rasta nuh disappoint!" Ross replied.

"Yeah, it really feels like we're in Jamaica, and even better, no electric eels or broken-down bobsled course they had in Season 3, homes!" Quillon said.

"Yeah, who figured me pal D.J. would be leavin' in dat very episode, mon," Ross said. "But de past is de past."

"Here's hoping it's one of us who wins this season, y'all!" Desirae said.

"And even better... let's hope all of us make the merge!" Odessa said.

"Team Beta!" the four of them shouted in unison.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: It sho' feels great having a brutha in dreadlocks on our team... Justus was okay, but foo' wouldn't leave the sista alone! Rasta at least knows when to keep his distance.

ODESSA: That reggae party was one of the best parties I've ever had! Eeeee! [She claps her hands.] And I don't care if I couldn't hear the music! I want to experience one of these things again!

- H -

While Desirae was shakin' her groove thang, her alliance partners Blaine and Ashlynn were sitting at one of the tables, drinking soda and watching the shindig.

"Ah, it feels good having the ambience of sunny Jamaica in the comfort of your own cabin," Blaine smiled with his eyes closed. "We don't even have to pay for plane tickets!"

"Not bad for a come-from-behind victory," Ashlynn replied. "But I wonder... about everything Velandra said tonight..."

"Yeah, she says a lot of things to shake things up," Blaine said. "She could say that the two of us were, say, the sole survivors of an ancient race, and everyone would believe her." He then took a sip of his soda. "Besides, there are bigger targets than either of us right now, so we shouldn't worry."

"I hope you're right," Ashlynn said, as she took a sip of her drink.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: Yesterday, I reveal I'm related to Blaineley... BOOM! Big target on my back. Today, Team Beta wins, gains three former Team Omega members, and two of them are... GASP!... in a showmance! WHOOSH! Target on my back goes away, [snaps fingers] like that!

ASHLYNN: Chris may call me the ditziest girl in this game, but at least I'm not dumb enough to let a showmance jeopardize my gameplay. I mean, as much as I would love to run my fingers through Ross' well-combed dreadlocks or give Zakeri a full-body massage... don't get me wrong, I want to do those things so bad! ...But I believe now is not the time to do something like that yet. Thank you, Kieran and Ireland, for allowing me to make the merge!

- H -

Meanwhile, at the pool table, Kieran and Ward were playing a game of pool while Ireland and Talwen were watching. Kieran sank the yellow 1 ball into a corner pocket and handed the cue to Ward. "Your turn, bro," Kieran said.

"Prepare to be sunk!" Ward shouted, as he struck the cue ball with enough force to almost cause an earthquake! Thankfully, the Luxury Cabin was not destroyed, though the shaking did cause all the balls other than the cue ball to roll into the nearby pockets.

"Remind me never to play pool with you again!" Kieran said, laughing.

"You wouldn't want to, pal, trust me," Ward reminded Kieran. Ward then polished the pool cue confidently.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

[Shot of Kieran sharing a camera confessional with Ireland.]

KIERAN: He's right, there's only one person I'd rather play pool with and she's right here! Isn't that right, babe?

IRELAND: That is right, my dear! You are so good, you know that?

[Kieran and Ireland kiss.]

- H -

"Well, I guess I'd better get some more drinks," Kieran said, as he went off to the vending machine. Ward set up the pool balls for another game of pool. "All right, who's next?" Ward shouted.

"Um, I'm probably inexperienced with pool, so I'd better back out of this one," Ireland stammered nervously, after seeing how Ward played.

"Well, I guess I'm out too," Talwen laughed.

"What's wrong?" Ireland said. "Is it because you lost your glasses?"

"Well, it is partially that," Talwen said. "But I've also seen how he plays, and..."

"What's the matter?" Ward said. "You afraid you're going to lose?" He then polished his pool cue.

Talwen decided to stand up. "Okay, I guess you talked me into it," Talwen said, as she went over to the pool table.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: Talwen is such a brave girl!

- H -

After Ward sank his shot, he then handed the pool cue over to Talwen. Talwen aimed at the cue ball, then aligned it with the red 3 ball that was just teetering toward one of the pockets.

"Well, here goes," Talwen said, as she shot at the cue ball. Even without her glasses, Talwen managed to hit the cue ball toward the red 3 ball, knocking it into the pocket.

"Nice!" Ward said to Talwen. "I'm amazed that you sank that one without your glasses!"

"Eh, glasses are overrated," Talwen replied.

Ward then looked into Talwen's face.

"You know, when you're not wearing your glasses, you look... kind of hot," Ward said to Talwen.

"Why... thank you!" Talwen replied, blushing.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

TALWEN: Oh my goodness... I thought that by being a goth, I wouldn't expect a jock to fall in love with me... and Ward does! Oh my gosh, get it together, Talwen, it's too early for you to be in a showmance... ...but still, it does feel really good, doesn't it?

WARD: I cannot believe that the perfect babe I found was right on my team the entire time, and I didn't realize it! Stupid, Ward! Stupid! Anyways, Talwen is freakin' hot, bro. Seriously. I mean, you can't tell at first from all that crazy goth makeup she puts on her face... I wonder what she would look like without it? AND IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING HER FROM ME, I WON'T LET YOU! YOU HEAR ME?!

- H -

As soon as Kieran got back with a soda from the vending machine, he noticed Ward and Talwen staring at each other.

He went to Ireland and whispered to her quietly, "I think these two are starting to fall in love with each other, aren't they?"

"Wow," Ireland said quietly, hoping that neither Talwen and Ward would notice.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

KIERAN: I thought Ireland and I would be the only showmance on this team... guess I was wrong!

IRELAND: Yeah, I think maybe we should downplay our relationship for now... we don't want the targets on our backs to get any bigger, now, do we?

KIERAN: No, I guess not!

[They kiss again.]

- H -

[TEAM ALPHA - DUO CABINS - BOYS' CABIN]

Payson put his clothes away as he prepared to bunk with his new cabinmates from Team Alpha. The other boys were getting ready for a good nights' sleep too, not knowing of the trials they would now have to endure with a two-team format.

"You promise you won't make fun of me for bein' the new guy on your team?" Payson said to the other four guys.

"You have nothing to worry about, we're not going to make fun of you, we promise," Zakeri said. "Though she probably might, however..."

"Hey, lay off York, okay?" Gareth said to Zakeri.

"Um, didn't Velandra say that York wasn't into you?" Connor said slyly.

"Ah, but she also said you had a million dollars already, didn't she?" Gareth replied back. Connor just stood there in silence.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: Velandra's speech at the last Bonfire Ceremony really turned my game upside-down! Now that the other campers know my secret, I now feel as if my entire life savings have been turned into pennies, and I've imagined myself drowning in a sea of them! I could just see the headlines now, "Rich Teen Dies Drowning In Pennies"... and even if that were to be my fate, I'd rather drown in my own life savings than in Chris', thanks!

GARETH: Now that Connor has a million dollars, I feel guilty about allying with him! I would like to get rid of him as soon as possible, because I need that money! ...No, wait, scratch that! If I did that, then I'd have one less ally, and trust me, at this point I need all the allies I can get! What should I do?

- H -

While most of the boys had settled into their bunks, Payson had decided to take out the green Team Alpha shirt he got, and put it on. You could tell it was too big for him.

"Wow, what size is that shirt, extra-extra-large?" Connor asked.

"Maybe it's one of those one-size-fits-all dealios," Payson said.

"Probably not, though," Hektor said. "I tried the one I was given, and it fell on the ground. I mean, what are the odds?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"And wearing your T-shirt as pajamas?" Zakeri said, trying to supress a giggle.

"Yeah, say what you want, but I think we're gonna win the challenge this way!" Payson said. "If I'm going to be part of a new team, I am going to live, eat, sleep, and breathe that new team! I am going to become that new team!" And then Payson went to sleep in his bed.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ZAKERI: Payson hasn't been a member of Team Alpha as long as the other four guys on this team have, but I can tell from his chi that he's trying too hard. I would prefer not to sleep or do my meditation exercises in the T-shirt I received... mostly because I can detect that Chris has probably worn all of our team's T-shirts before and the chi radiating from them would likely be too detrimental to our success. Maybe it's all that hair grease...

PAYSON: Team Beta? Payson was close to being a target. Team Omega? Payson was really close to being a target! But I'm on Team Alpha now, so you'd better watch out! Payson shall rise from the ashes like a phoenix! ...You'll use this line, right? Because phoenixes are so freaking cool and I thought I'd give a li'l shoutout to our firebird friends!

HEKTOR: Aiyaah... if Payson wants to sleep in his T-shirt, then I have no problem with that. Heck, he can wear my T-shirt too, since I can barely even fit in it. I would have to eat lots of egg foo young to fill out that shirt! I calculated, and the exact amount is ten times my body weight. Ten!

- H -

[TEAM ALPHA - DUO CABINS - GIRLS' CABIN]

The girls on Team Alpha were just settling down for a good nights' sleep as well. And just like with the boys, Velandra's speech lingered in the girls minds...

"So, your boy toy Connor," York said to Nevaeh. "He was loaded the entire time?"

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either," Nevaeh said, as she put her clothes away and put on her pajamas. "This was the first I've heard about it."

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

NEVAEH: Why didn't Connor tell me that he had a million dollars already? Now that I know that he's rich... I... [She hesitates, and after a while, a smile forms on her face.] ...I want to be with him more than ever! I think his house would be one of the coolest places to live in!

YORK: "Hi, my name is Connor. I have a million dollars already, but I don't think that's enough for me, so durr, I'm going to sign up for Total Drama where I can get another million dollars and not let you have any of it!" Jeez, save some for the rest of us, will ya? [She rolls her eyes.]

- H -

Unique then turned to Francesca. "And speaking of Velandra... Francesca, are you-"

"No! I'm not in love with him, if that's what you're implying!" Francesca said defensively, grasping onto her nearby pillow. "Now, let's just get to sleep." Francesca got into her bed and when to sleep.

"Well, huffy!" Unique said, going to bed as well.

"I think she's lying!" Luna said. Luna took one of the pillows off her bunk bed, and threw it at Francesca.

"Hey!" Francesca said. "What the...?"

"Pillow fight!" Luna said, and then picked up another pillow and kept hitting Francesca over and over with it.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

FRANCESCA: I thought moving back to Team Alpha would be a welcome change of pace, but Luna had to join me! Luna! I guess Kieran was right about her...

LUNA: What? They're pillows! They're like the softest and least violent weapons ever! They are much better than those icky guns and knives! I think if everyone fought their wars with pillows instead of nasty weapons, then we wouldn't have any wars anymore, because everyone would be alive! Besides, they're so cute and fluffy!

- H -

Luna kept hitting Francesca with a pillow over and over again. "This is getting repetitive," Francesca said to Luna.

"I'm gonna keep doing it until you tell everyone you like him!" Luna said.

"I don't!" Francesca said. "Is it that hard for you to understand?"

"Yes!" Luna said, as she picked up another pillow and threw it at Francesca. Francesca, however, was able to catch the pillow thrown in midair.

"Wow, you're good," Luna said, while stunned.

"Now catch!" Francesca said, as she threw the pillow back at Luna.

"Owie!" Luna said, as she picked up another pillow and threw it at Francesca.

"I might as well join in," York said, as she picked up a pillow as well and threw it at Francesca.

"What is this?" Francesca asked.

"Eh, what the heck," Unique said, and picked up one of the pillows on her bed and threw it at York!

"This is not funny!" York said, angry, throwing a nearby pillow at Unique.

"It is to me!" Unique replied, throwing a pillow back.

With all the pillows being thrown at each other by the other girls, Nevaeh was starting to wonder if she would ever get to sleep.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

NEVAEH: Back at home, there were never any pillow fights at all! But I have made it an entire week at this camp, I can still do this... [She shudders.] Mom... dad... I miss you already!

UNIQUE: So? I found the pillow fight exciting! It definitely beat last night's showdown from Sir Shouts-A-Lot on the other team... [She sighs.] Massaging Ward's arm muscles in the hot tub was a mistake I am definitely not proud of...

- H -

- DAY 8 -

[MESS HALL]

Two teams sat down to a breakfast of hash browns, huckleberries, and some hot chocolate. Healthy as well as hearty, it helped the hungry!

Just as the twenty teens finished off their breakfast, they noticed something was missing...

"Isn't this where Chris usually says, 'the challenge is ready, insert pun related to the letter H here!'" Blaine said.

"He probably forgot what letter comes after G in the alphabet!" Zakeri replied.

The other campers laughed.

"Maybe something bad happened to Chris... that's probably why it's taking him so long to do this?" Nevaeh suggested.

The other campers turned and stared at her.

"Anyway, what was I thinking!" Nevaeh smiled. "Chris is the last person anyone here should be worried about!"

"I think this is going to be a great day today!" Hektor said.

"Hear, hear!" Payson replied.

- H -

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FRANCESCA: Since Chris wasn't there to give his little challenge spiel over the intercom, we had all this extra time today. And what better way to spend it then having some free time! Ooh, I feel like a kid on a school playground again!

- H -

The twenty campers took advantage of the complete lack of an announcement from Chris by basically having fun, doing whatever they pleased!

Quillon set up a makeshift hopscotch area on the ground near the cabin, and Odessa was having fun, hopping her way to the number 10. "This is so much fun!" she said excitedly.

York, Unique, Connor, and Nevaeh were playing hide-and-seek. Connor was "it", and he found all three girls within two minutes! "You are definitely fast!" Nevaeh complimented Connor.

Ross decided to play some volleyball at the beach area. It was him and Ward against Zakeri and Francesca. Francesca's team won, of course, but Ross and Ward were strong enough to close the gap.

Luna was blowing bubbles, and Payson and Hektor were running around in them trying to pop them! Talwen let herself loose by jumping rope with Ashlynn and Desirae. Blaine and Gareth were competitively climbing trees to see who would get to the top first! The campers were too busy playing that they didn't notice Ireland and Kieran secretly making out in the forest.

The fun lasted all through the afternoon.

- H -

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TALWEN: Ah, it's moments like this that cause you to forget about the actual game for a while... but I have a feeling that Chris is going to pull out one of his surprises when we'd least expect it. But I shouldn't worry about that now... right now, I'm here to have fun!

LUNA: This is the bestest day I've ever had in New Wawanakwa. If I started my own season of Total Drama, and I was the host, there would be no nasty challenges and no voting people off... everyone would have fun and be happy! Yay!

ROSS: If you were to look up de word "irie" in de dictionary, you would find a picture of Day 8, mon. And if you nuh find a picture of Day 8, then you must have bad dictionary!

NEVAEH: I attended a private elementary school when I was younger... during recess was the closest I ever got to basically having fun, and hanging out with friends! This free time reminded me of my childhood days... however, I have made some new friends in this game, and when I finally tell my parents all about the fun I've had and the friends I've made, they are going to be so impressed! I wish all the days in the game were like this one!

- H -

After the sun went down, the campers decided to retire to their cabins early in preparation for the next day. A great deal of them were getting into their pajamas and going into bed already. They had gotten off easy this day! No challenge, no need to get themselves worked up! It was a day they had earned after a dramatic seven days...

However, just as the campers were about to drift off to dreamland...

The ten members of Team Beta had just settled down for a good night's sleep when lightning started to flash, and all the lights in the cabin went out. A creepy guy wearing a hockey mask and having a hook hand jumped through one of the windows of the Luxury Cabin. He threw a smoke bomb on the ground, and a thick cloud of gray smoke enveloped most of the luxury cabin. The campers could hear the sound of a chainsaw (well, except for Odessa, for obvious reasons). As soon as the smoke cleared, the campers in the vicinity found themselves face to face with the masked man! He pressed a button on the audiotape machine that previously played the chainsaw sound effect, and the tape stopped.

"Challenge time, suckas," a familiar voice uttered from behind the mask. The so-called psycho wearing the hockey mask turned out to be Chef in a Halloween costume!

- H -

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BLAINE: Okay, it seems like Chef has nothing better to do than wake people up when they're trying to go to sleep! ...What type of food has my sister been feeding him back in China?

DESIRAE: Chef, sug', I knew it was you in that getup, but you ain't scarin' me. Now, if you were in one of them other costumes you wore befo'... dang! Now you scary!

- H -

The campers in the Dual Cabins faced a similar predicament... one person dressed in a similar costume that Chef wore placed a smoke bomb in the boys' cabin, leading all five boys out... while another person also dressed in that costume did the same thing with the girls in their cabin. The latter gave an over-the-top laugh.

- H -

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IZZY: Yep, it's the obligatory horror-themed challenge! My favoritest challenge in the Total Drama series, like, ever! I bet those girls never figured out it was me in that costume! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! ...Okay, Chris, where's my thousand bucks?

D.J.: You know, I really hated doing this to the five boys that were in that cabin, but Chef assured me that he would use the recipes I e-mailed him if I did what he asked. After all, these contestants need to experience my Momma's spices!

- H -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

A full moon was out, as the twenty campers were led to the challenge field by Chef, D.J., and Izzy in costume. There was an ominous-looking haunted building which looked just like a spooky mansion... in front of that building were several piles of thick haystacks. Scarecrows were all over the place, and they had jack-o'-lantern heads... candles inside the jack-o'-lanterns lit up, illuminating the faces that had been carved into them and thus providing a spooky ambience.

Awaiting the twenty contestants, was Chris, dressed in a vampire costume, with plastic fangs, and silk red cape! Alyssa, though she didn't have a costume of her own, was standing right besides Chris with her notepad in hand.

"Velcome, my children of the night, to a hair-raising, horrifying challenge that vill give you the heebie-jeebies!" Chris said in a bad vampire accent. "Because, boys and ghouls..." He then pulled out a letter H. "H is for Halloween!"

"Again, July," said Ashlynn, rolling her eyes.

"Ignoring that," Chris said in his normal voice. "Anyhoo, H is also for Haunted House Hunt, your first challenge as two teams now! This challenge should be one you're probably used to, but be warned, since this is a Halloween challenge, and it may not be for the faint of heart!"

Nevaeh shivered a bit with fright, and Connor was right by her to console her.

"The object of this challenge is simple... each of the teams will start at either end of the building you see before you! Yep, who knew that the campgrounds were home to an abandoned haunted house? And also... you will be wearing..." He pulled out several bags with Halloween costumes inside of them. "...these Halloween costumes!"

- H -

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KIERAN: Oh great... as if the challenge wasn't ridiculous and childish enough already, they have to make us dress up in these Halloween getups to make it even more goofy! But then again, what do you expect, given the host of this series...

TALWEN: Is Halloween my favorite holiday of the year? Well, of course it is... but I think it's weird that you chose to ask me that specific question. And by the way, I never usually wear any costumes on Halloween, despite the boys and girls in our neighborhood always coming to our house and saying, "What costume is that girl wearing?" The homemade Nanaimo bars kept them quiet.

- H -

"I know you don't like wearing these, but trust me, you have to keep these costumes on for as long as you can, because if you take them off at any time, you're out of the challenge! However, you can remove the costume from an opposing team member, which is what you're probably going to be doing! Keep in mind that it only counts if you remove every single part of the opponent's costume, because as long as he or she is still wearing part of the costume, they're still in! The first team to successfully remove the opposing team's costumes wins invincibility and cannot be voted off tonight!"

The twenty contestants cheer.

"Also, keep in mind that since this is a Halloween challenge... there will be tricks, and there will be treats!" He then paused dramatically. "And here's one of the treats! H... is for Helping Hand! Hidden somewhere within this area is a medallion that has a hand symbol on it. If you are in possession of this medallion, it will give your team an advantage in a future challenge that will take place sometime before the merge. And boy, do you want this medallion, because it's not just a medallion, but a medallion... of power!" Chris laughed, but the twenty contestants, however, did not.

- H -

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PAYSON: Okay, lame joke aside, that medallion would be super awesome to have! If we were to use it at any challenge, then that would make our team the best team in Total Drama history! Plus, that medallion would look super-good around my neck... yep... it would rock having some nice bling!

ASHLYNN: OMG, that Helping Hand medallion... yeah, of course I want it. Anything to help our team, and save our alliance. It may not be a McClean-Brand Chris Head, but it'll do for now! Plus, we can use it at any challenge we want! I'll probably end up using it at a challenge Team Alpha will probably be good at... if so, I can't wait to see the look on York's face when I beat her again! ...If she hasn't been voted off by then.

- H -

The teams were led into separate rooms, each with their own bags of Halloween costumes. Team Alpha took out the costumes from their bags, and noticed something about the costumes...

"Let's see, we have a Hawaiian hula dancer costume, a hippie costume, a hockey player, a heavy metal fan, a headless man, a Harry Potter costume, a hamster costume, a hobo costume... and of course, the horse costume... all beginning with the letter H, of course," said York, reading the list of costumes attached to one of the bags.

"Wait, that's nine costumes, isn't it?" Hektor said. "And there are ten of us, right?"

"It also says that the horse costume must be worn by two of us," said Unique. "Meaning one has to be the front end, and one has to be the back end."

"Maybe we should have York be the back end of the horse costume!" Payson suggested. "Because after all, she's-"

"That is not funny!" York snarled.

- H -

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YORK: At least none of them are that of the scariest monster in the world that begins with the letter H - the host himself!

LUNA: Yay, a costume challenge! This will probably be the funnest challenge yet! I call dibs on the hamster outfit!

- H -

The members of Team Beta were just trying on their costumes. Ward put on the hockey mask for his hockey player costume, while Quillon placed the hat for the hobo costume on his head. Ashlynn put on the grass skirt for her hula girl outfit, while Kieran and Ireland helped each other with their heavy metal and hippie outfits, respectively.

Blaine put on the headless guy outfit, and Talwen decided to try on the Harry Potter outfit, hoping that the glasses that came with that costume would be an adequate replacement for her old ones. Odessa wore the hamster costume, meaning that by default, Desirae and Ross would share the horse costume.

"Peace, baby," said Ireland to Kieran, while flashing the peace sign.

"Yeah! Let's rock and roll!" Kieran replied back, sticking his tongue out while making the devil fingers.

"Aw, that means you love her, don't you?" Odessa said to Kieran.

"W... what do you mean?" Kieran said.

"That sign you made... that's the I Love You sign, isn't it?" Odessa said. "After all, I do know my sign language!" She giggled.

- H -

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KIERAN: You know, I never even noticed how similar those two are. She's such a smart girl! Maybe she became deaf from going to a lot of rock concerts as a young girl without her parents' permission...

ODESSA: For your information, I never went deaf from listening to too much rock music! I would, however, like to find out what rock music sounds like one day... maybe it's as... "awesome" [makes the hand sign for the word "awesome"] as my teammates say it is!

- H -

On Team Alpha, however, the ten contestants had finished trying on their clothes. Unique was dressed as a hula dancer, Luna as a hamster, and Francesca as the hockey player. Connor wore the Harry Potter costume, and Nevaeh grooved in her hippie outfit. York rocked to the heavy metal costume, while Zakeri had no problems with the headless man outfit. Gareth buttoned up his hobo outfit, and Hektor and Payson shared the horse costume. They were good to go!

"This is going to be a rather interesting challenge," Unique mused. "I wonder how many boys on the other team I can manipulate in this getup!"

"Hey, if the other team laughs about our goofy outfits," Francesca said. "I could always hit 'em with this!" She waved her hockey stick around.

"Yeah, they're probably ones to talk about silly outfits if they're wearing the exact same thing we are!" Connor replied.

- H -

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FRANCESCA: It is more important to win as many of these upcoming challenges as I can, because from now on, "second place" is just another way of saying "last". "Here, Francesca, have a red ribbon! Maybe it'll make you feel better!" Sorry, but my favorite color of ribbon is blue. It always been, it always will be.

- H -

After both teams were ready, Chris' voice echoed over the intercom. "Okay, the challenge has now started! You can now hunt down your opponents! Oh, and try to be as scary as possible... after all, it's funny to watch them squirm like the worms they are this way!"

The members of both teams left their respective rooms, and started exploring the haunted house. You could tell it was a very big place, filled with many rooms and hallways... one where you could get easily lost in.

"So, should we all stick together, or should we split up?" Ashlynn said.

"I think Odessa and I should split from the group for a while, would that be okay?" Quillon suggested.

"Okay, you two do whatever you want," Kieran said.

"Okay!" Odessa said excitedly. She and Quillon immediately ran off from the other eight.

"I don't know why they decided to do that," Ashlynn said. "For all I know, the ten people on the other team could gang up on them."

"Maybe they had a good reason," Blaine said.

- H -

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BLAINE: Maybe Quillon should have worn the headless guy thing instead of me, because I don't know where his head is today!

- H -

Quillon and Odessa immediately headed toward the haystacks in front of the haunted house.

"Why are you taking me here?" Odessa said.

"Chris said that the Helping Hand was somewhere in the area, right?" Quillon replied.

"Yeah," Odessa said. "I could make out the words 'Helping Hand' by reading his lips."

"Well, I think it might be hidden in one of these haystacks, chica," Quillon said, immediately removing some hay from one of the stacks. As he pulled out hay from the stack, Odessa quickly joined in. The two of them dismantled the haystack until there was nothing left.

"Well, we know it's not in this one," Odessa said.

"Let's try another one," Quillon said, and the two of them searched another haystack. Like with the first one, they came up empty.

"Gee, H is for a Hundred Haystacks!" Odessa joked. "I think there are at least that many over here, probably more!"

"That hombre went all out, didn't he?" Quillon said, as he searched through a third haystack.

- H -

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ODESSA: If Chris hid the Helping Hand in one of the haystacks, he must have hidden it really well. This could take us a lot of time... time that would probably be spent looking for our opponents. But Quillon says he knows what he's doing...

QUILLON: To me, findin' the Helping Hand would be like findin' a needle in a haystack. And there are a lot of flippin' haystacks in front of the house, man! That thing's gotta be in there! If I find out that Chris set these haystacks up as a distraction, and the Helping Hand is somewhere else... that wey is gonna pay.

- H -

While Odessa and Quillon were looking for the Helping Hand, the other contestants were searching for the members of the opposing team. Since Zakeri wore a headless horseman costume, making it difficult to see where he was going, he was guided by Unique as they navigated a dark corridor. The fact that she held a lit flashlight helped. The two of them were joined by Hektor, Payson, and Francesca.

"I think we can pull this off," Francesca said confidently. "I think the other team might have split up, or maybe someone ended up with a costume where they couldn't see where they're going and got completely lost."

Zakeri put his hands on his hips, even though one of them was holding a prop head.

"Um... not that that would happen to you," Francesca replied. "You can see in that costume, right?"

"I hope so..." Zakeri said. "I don't think there are any eyeholes in this outfit though, so I'll have to feel around." Zakeri felt something in front of him, which happened to be Unique's curvy body.

"Ooh..." Unique said. "That tickles!"

- H -

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ZAKERI: A darkened corridor of a spooky mansion... I know, most unlikely place to cop a feel. But I have the feeling that this is the closest I've gotten to Unique yet...

UNIQUE: Despite the spooky motif, I could enjoy this challenge! Zakeri, you animal!

- H -

The group of five approached a window, where Francesca noticed something.

"Hey, I spot some movement!" she exclaimed, as she saw Odessa and Quillon searching the haystacks. She immediately ran through the door outside. Zakeri and Unique quickly followed her.

- H -

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HEKTOR: As soon as Francesca ran out of the mansion, I could tell that the probability of us winning the challenge went up by at least 1%. Yeah, it's still too early too tell, so I'm using single-digit numbers for now.

- H -

Odessa and Quillon were still searching haystack after haystack for the Helping Hand. They have already gone through twenty of them.

As the two of them started searching their twenty-first haystack, they didn't notice the members of Team Alpha silently approach them. As Odessa felt her way through the haystack, Francesca began ripping off pieces of Odessa's hamster costume. Unique began to join in.

"Quillon!" Odessa shouted. "They've got me!"

Quillon, while searching the haystack, turned to see the Team Alpha members tear off what's left of Odessa's costume, leaving Odessa in her underwear.

"Ay chihuahua!" Quillon stated as he saw Odessa in her undies.

"Odessa is now out of the challenge!" Chris' voice shouted over the PA system. "And the best part is, she didn't even hear that!"

The others didn't laugh.

TEAM ALPHA - 10 / TEAM BETA - 9

- H -

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ODESSA: Okay, that was really embarrassing! I just hope my parents didn't see that... ...oh who am I kidding? They probably did!

QUILLON: Okay, so we're already down a chica. And those Team Alpha vatos were gunnin' for me next. I could've just been all, "Hey, I'm outnumbered, I might as well get the heck outta here." But de repente...

- H -

As soon as Quillon tried to get his hand out of the haystack he searched, he felt something. Something hard. He placed his fingers on it.

As he tried to wrest whatever it was out of the haystack, Unique and Francesca were making quick work of Quillon's hobo outfit. As soon as Unique removed the tattered hat from Quillon's head, he was now sans costume. Francesca and Unique high-fived in celebration.

"And Quillon is now out of it!" Chris' voice said. "Team Beta is down two already! But it is still anyone's game!"

TEAM ALPHA - 10 / TEAM BETA - 8

- H -

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QUILLON: The bad news, I got eliminated. The good news? [He pulls out a medallion with a hand symbol on it.] I got this! So even if we lose this challenge, we can win the next one, homes!

UNIQUE: While removing Quillon's costume, I noticed a few muscles on his arms... has he been working out? I like that in a man... ooh!

FRANCESCA: I could've sworn I saw something in that kid's hands... something like the medallion Chris talked about. I wanted that medallion! Oh well, since I can't search for it now, I might as well do what I plan to do for this challenge... which is, of course, put my game face on! ...Even if it's behind a hockey mask.

- H -

The remaining Team Beta members were worried now that they were down to eight already.

"See, I told him," Ashlynn said, rolling her eyes.

"Grr!" Ward shouted. "This just makes me so frickin' angry!" He then raised his hockey stick in the air in frustration. Ashlynn facepalmed.

- H -

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ASHLYNN: Great, Ward. We're outnumbered, and you want to draw even more attention to us? We are so dead...

WARD: Team Alpha may have gotten an early start, but that's because they haven't even seen Ward Strong in action yet! [He pounds his fist in his hand.]

- H -

Ward's screaming grabbed the attention of York, Luna, Gareth, Connor, and Nevaeh, who were traveling down a nearby corridor.

"That sounds like the other team!" said Connor.

"And just in time, too!" said York, rubbing her hands together.

- H -

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YORK: Ah, Ward, you musclehead... heavy on brawn, light on brains... the kind that Chris likes to cast in his shows lately... I'm glad you exist, because otherwise I'd have a tougher time getting to the merge!

- H -

"Yahoo!" Luna shouted. "Let me at 'em!"

"Wait, don't..." York said, but Luna immediately ran toward the group of eight.

"I'd better go after her!" Gareth said, running after Luna. York facepalmed.

- H -

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YORK: And then there are the idiots on my team too. As for why I might have a tougher time getting to the merge? Here's why!

LUNA: The people at Team Beta are gonna look at me and be all like, "Ooh, look at the cute hamster!" That's when I'll strike without warning, because no one expects people in hamster costumes to do that! I'll remove the other team's costumes in the cutest way possible! Ooh, maybe I'll even try them on too!

- H -

"Can't catch me!" Luna taunted the Team Beta members as she ran up the nearby stairs. Gareth ran up after her, and while he was doing that, he collided with Ashlynn, who grabbed part of Gareth's costume! Gareth tried to retaliate by taking off part of Ashlynn's costume...

...but it was the coconut bra Ashlynn was wearing! As well as the top she wore under that! The front of Ashlynn's chest now had to be pixelled out!

"Oops," Gareth said.

- H -

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GARETH: Okay, that could have gone better.

ASHLYNN: Gareth is such a perverted freak... I don't know how York on the other team puts up with him!

- H -

"How DARE you!" Ashlynn shouted, covering her chest in embarrassment. "Team Beta... GET HIM!"

While Ashlynn cried, the other members of Team Beta quickly dogpiled on Gareth, taking off the rest of his hobo outfit in the process.

"And Gareth is now out, Team Alpha's first loss!" Chris announced. York fumed under her breath.

TEAM ALPHA - 9 / TEAM BETA - 8

- H -

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GARETH: Why do I have to be the first one out? Seriously... do I have bad luck or what?

- H -

And while Ashlynn was trying to cover up her chest, Luna sneaked up from behind and said, "Peekaboo!" and then ripped off the rest of Ashlynn's hula outfit. Ashlynn screamed and ran out of the mansion as fast as she could.

"And Ashlynn is now eliminated!" Chris' voice said. Luna gave a cutesy smile, and ran off in hiding.

TEAM ALPHA - 9 / TEAM BETA - 7

- H -

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ASHLYNN: That challenge was the most embarrassing thing I have ever been a part of in my entire life... I can't wait to go back to the cabin and get dressed!

LUNA: Oh, she enjoyed it, whether she wants to admit it or not! Hee hee!

- H -

"Okay, that does it!" Ward shouted, raising his hockey stick toward the group of Nevaeh, Connor, and York. Talwen, Kieran and Ireland ran after him.

"Yikes!" Connor said when he saw the imposing figure of a 200-pound guy in a hockey mask charging toward him.

- H -

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CONNOR: Yep, Ward is definitely bigger than me. I figured that since I was in my Harry Potter outfit, I was going to try to improvise...

- H -

Connor raised his toy wand out toward Ward. "Avada Kedavra!" Connor shouted towards Ward. But since this is Total Drama, and not Harry Potter, the incantation had no effect.

"Heh heh," Connor said sheepishly. "It was worth a shot, right?"

Ward growled towards Connor, and ripped off all of Connor's costume in like five seconds. The other members of Team Beta didn't even need to join in.

Nevaeh froze in shock, while York rolled her eyes.

"Connor's now out!" Chris shouted. "Fifteen contestants are still left!"

TEAM ALPHA - 8 / TEAM BETA - 7

- H -

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TALWEN: Okay, I admit it... If I was in Connor's position, that was exactly the kind of thing I would have not done. And this coming from the biggest Harry Potter fan in the cast!

CONNOR: Maybe I could use some of my million dollars to buy myself a new brain... because mine definitely wasn't working today. Ha! I said it just before York was going to!

YORK: I listened in on the confessional, and I could hear Connor saying what I was about to say! Do you want to be voted off tonight, rich boy? Well, you're about to be!

NEVAEH: Yikes! If Ward can do that to Connor, I can only imagine what he'd do to me! So I figured that... well... I need to avoid this guy as much as possible through the challenge! Don't worry, Connor, I'll still do this for you!

- H -

York quickly grabbed Nevaeh and pulled her out of harm's way just as Ward was about to approach her. The two Team Alpha members ran as fast as they can down a hallway toward a junction leading to two other hallways. By the time they got as far as they could down one hallway, Ward was confused... and went down the other hallway instead!

York closed her eyes and quietly threw a raspberry in Ward's direction.

- H -

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NEVAEH: Phew... that was close!

YORK: Yeah, it may have been to protect the little girl, but it was mostly to protect moi as well. Most of my tactics are, just so you know.

WARD: Okay... next time I go back to the quad to train... I'm taking up track. These legs couldn't outrun those two tonight, bro.

- H -

Meanwhile, down another hall, Ross and Desirae were getting used to their new horse costume. Ross was the "front end" of the horse, while Desirae was bringing up the rear.

"Oomon, dis place be hard on de Rasta's sight!" Ross exclaimed.

"You don't need to worry, sug'," Desirae said. "If any funky spirits show up, I'ma give them this!" And she made a kicking motion with her foot. "Sha-ZAM!"

- H -

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ROSS: Mon, de Rasta been used to ridin' 'orses, but I and I nuh been one before! Desirae? Well, her be a nice partna' to 'ave, but while me in de 'orse costume, me could 'ave sworn her try to feel Rasta up! She hands nuh supposed to be dere!

DESIRAE: Okay, y'all, at the risk of soundin' like Justus, I can't help but have the hots for Ross. With Justus gone, he the only brutha left. And if thangs don't work out between Ross and his soul mate Francesca on the other team, there's always a soul sista on this team he can turn to! [She smiles and winks.]

- H -

Ross and Desirae were still trying to navigate the hallways, which wasn't easy thanks to their costume. As soon as the two of them turned a corner, they ran into Francesca and Unique, who quickly pulled off their horse costume. And while they were doing that, Ross and Desirae reached their hands out, and tried to do the same thing with Francesca's and Unique's.

- H -

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UNIQUE: We saw the guys in the horse costume from Team Beta, which I assume was part of a Trojan Horse strategy that they were trying to use against us, so Francesca and I had to work together and pull that costume off! And then those two did the same thing to me, and I was like, those people are so impatient... I know you want to see my body, but can't it wait until after the challenge? It was then that I realized who those two were...

- H -

After the fracas, Desirae, Ross, Francesca and Unique were completely stripped of their costumes. Francesca and Ross looked at each other in particular.

"Franny-girl...?" Ross said as he stared at Francesca.

"R... Rasta...?" Francesca said back to Ross.

Desirae and Unique looked at each other.

"And Francesca, Ross, Unique and Desirae are out of it! Those four are so not going to be trick-or-treating tonight!" Chris' voice said over the loudspeakers.

"Yeah, because Halloween takes place in October, genius," Unique responded under her breath.

As the four walked out of the mansion, Francesca and Ross kept staring at each other.

TEAM ALPHA - 6 / TEAM BETA - 5

- H -

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FRANCESCA: That guy in the horse costume... was really Rasta? I must have missed him like crazy... oh well, but I'm pretty sure I beat him, I think.

ROSS: Yes... me miss Franny-girl. And judgin' from de look on she face, her miss de Rasta too. If me team or Team Alpha decide, "kick off de Team Omega members one by one"... it would nuh look good for she or I.

DESIRAE: So that's Francesca... she the one tryin' to move in on my man? Whoo boy... we got ourselves a love triangle up in here!

- H -

Zakeri was feeling the corridors of the mansion, trying to get used to his Headless Horseman costume. "Hello?" he said, as he kept feeling around. "Is anyone there?"

Suddenly, Blaine, who was also wearing a Headless Horseman outfit, bumped into him.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" shouted Blaine.

- H -

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ZAKERI: Two of us... wearing the same Halloween costume... in the same place. And no one can see what we're like inside the costumes... this is gonna get awkward.

BLAINE: I kept picturing in my head who got eliminated from the other team, and I was like, "I hope I don't run into karate boy!" And sure enough, that's who I run into!

- H -

Blaine was no match for Zakeri's muscles, as the martial arts expert pinned him to the wall and slowly tore off parts of Blaine's costume.

It was at this point that Luna, in her hamster costume, approached the two of them.

"H is for Hungry, Hungry Hamster!" Luna shouted as she approached Blaine, ready to pounce on him.

Blaine grew more nervous by the minute.

- H -

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BLAINE: We've lost half of our team by now! I had to think of something... and as a matter of fact, I did!

- H -

"Luna, it's me!" Blaine shouted at Luna, trying to imitate Zakeri's voice.

Luna mistook Blaine's voice for Zakeri's. "I'll save you, for hamsters everywhere!" she exclaimed with a large grin on her face.

"Luna, wait! It's me!" shouted Zakeri, but it was too late. Luna already pounced on Zakeri, mistaking him for Blaine, and then ripped his headless horseman costume to shreds. Blaine, relieved because of the mistake that Luna made, started laughing his head off.

- H -

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ZAKERI: I have no idea why Luna would go after someone from her own team! I heard from several of the other contestants that she was demented... but I didn't think she'd be this demented!

BLAINE: Three words for Luna: Epic. Freaking. Fail! Too bad I was in the headless guy outfit, otherwise I would've seen one of the best moments of this episode up close!

- H -

Luna's eyes opened when she realized whose costume she had completely destroyed. "Z...Zakeri? You're not Blaine!"

"No, but I am!" shouted Blaine, who was right behind Luna when she wasn't looking! Blaine tore off Luna's hamster costume completely!

"And Team Alpha loses two more members!" Chris' voice exclaimed. "It's a Halloween hullabaloo over here, but all Zakeri and Luna can do now is watch!"

Luna cried her eyes out.

TEAM ALPHA - 4 / TEAM BETA - 5

- H -

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LUNA: My... my hamster costume... it was the only true friend I've made today... why, Blaine? Whyyyyyyyy?

- H -

You could tell that since Team Alpha had lost two more of its own, Nevaeh grew even more nervous. She was shivering in fright.

"I... I miss him already..." Nevaeh stammered. "Connor would have gotten me through this nightmare..."

"Girl," York said smugly. "Grow up." She then walked away, and then ran after Blaine just as he was wandering around a corridor trying to find someone.

- H -

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NEVAEH: How could she say something like that? York is just like one of those mean girls from the high school movies! As in, the ones my family doesn't watch!

- H -

Just then, Hektor and Payson, still wearing their horse costume, trotted up to Nevaeh.

"I know he's not here, Nevaeh, but he's still rooting for you," Hektor said.

"Yeah, we can still do this together," Payson said, and he and Hektor reached their hands out of their horse costume and patted Nevaeh.

- H -

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HEKTOR: With Connor eliminated, poor Nevaeh must be losing it, so we decided to support her. Yep, chivalry is not going to be dead as long as we can keep it alive! And the best part about it is that this way, you avoid getting hit on the arm with a paper fan by ba-ba!

NEVAEH: Two boys in a horse costume came to comfort me... my father will definitely not believe me even if I showed him the DVD of this episode!

- H -

"Is anyone there?" Blaine said, roaming around the hallway for his prey.

"Yes," York arrogantly smirked. "But you won't be." She then removed the rest of the headless horseman costume before Blaine could put up a fight.

When York saw whose costume she had removed, her eyes turned into heart signs.

- H -

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YORK: Halloween challenge? Please. This was a Christmas challenge for me, and Santa just gave me my present early! And all this time, I thought I've been on his naughty list...

BLAINE: Okay, so York eliminated me. But I took out two members of her team, so was it worth it? H is for hecks to the yeah!

- H -

"And Blaine is now out! We are tied up again, four to four!" Chris' voice boomed. Chef burst in and took Blaine out of the mansion.

"Wait!" York shouted. "You can't take him out yet! He's sex on legs!"

Blaine and Chef were stunned by what York said.

TEAM ALPHA - 4 / TEAM BETA - 4

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: Wow, that's the first time I've ever been called that!

YORK: He shouldn't have to leave yet! No one comes between me and my new boyfriend!

- H -

Talwen and Ward were roaming an upstairs hallway, trying to look for the remaining members of Team Alpha.

"It's gettin' down to the wire, huh?" Talwen said to Ward.

"I know my enemies around here somewhere." Ward said. "But where the frick are they? I am getting so angry!" He then raised his hockey stick. "I want to crush them!"

- H -

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TALWEN: In the Potterverse, everyone would use magic to solve their problems, and all it would take is a single wave of a magic wand. I'm on a team with someone who thinks brute force is the answer to everything, and since this isn't Hogwarts, guess which strategy is more effective for this challenge?

WARD: Look out, Team Alpha! Team Beta is going to BEAT. YOU. TO. A. PULP!

- H -

Ward was still shifting his eyes to the left one second, and to the right another, scanning the hallway.

"Where are they?" Ward shouted. "Do you really think that with four of them left, they'd be that hard to find?"

"I think they're probably all together in one group somewhere," Talwen said. "By the way, I don't know where Ireland and Kieran are... maybe we should go find them."

Ward froze. "Crap!" he shouted.

- H -

Ireland and Kieran were hiding somewhere, in a small nook hidden behind one of the mansion's staircase.

"I hope the other team doesn't find us here," Ireland said to Kieran.

"Relax, babe," Kieran said to Ireland. "The other team wouldn't be able to find their way out of a paper bag with their strategy, and besides, Ward's still around, I think. He'll handle them all."

"I hope you're right," Ireland said, and then the two of them kissed.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: It was getting, like, brutal during the last moments of the challenge, but Kieran suggested that hiding from the other team would be a good tactic. It worked for a long time, and I can see why... Kieran's obviously hidden from me for the last few years, so why not hide from the other team?

KIERAN: You know me too well, babe!

IRELAND: I'll know you even more than that!

KIERAN: Ooh, that's my kind of woman!

[They kiss.]

- H -

As soon as Ireland and Kieran were getting into their makeout session, they didn't notice the four remaining members of Team Alpha ambushing them.

"Boo!" York shouted, as she, Payson, and Hektor dismantled the showmance's costumes before Ireland and Kieran could react.

"And Ireland and Kieran are out! No trick-or-treating for these two!" Chris' voice said.

"Not cool, dudes!" Kieran shouted.

"Why is there all this rough stuff?" Ireland complained.

TEAM ALPHA - 4 / TEAM BETA - 2

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: Anyone who didn't see this coming a mile away, raise your hands. [She looks around.] Guess what... I don't see many hands raised!

KIERAN: I could've sworn that Payson was one of the people who ripped my costume. I know a day ago, he's been bugging me to teach him how to be cool, but he can find another teacher for now...

PAYSON: I think there were like two people left on the other team... and I was like, "Sweet! We've got this!" It's four of us against two of them, and we didn't think anything was gonna go wrong...

- H -

Suddenly, just as the four Team Alpha members were searching another hallway, Payson started fidgeting inside the horse costume he and Hektor shared.

"Dude, what is it?" Hektor said to Payson.

"I..." Payson stammed. "...I think I need to go to the bathroom!"

The other three members of Team Alpha were shocked.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

HEKTOR: Aiyaah... I could tell that there was a 95% percent probability this was going to turn disastrous...

PAYSON: Oh man... I think during the time I spent partying this afternoon, I may have had too much to drink... I needed to go like really bad!

YORK: Ugh... I do not believe this... H is for HOLD IT IN!

- H -

Payson was still fidgeting nervously. "Oh man, where's the bathroom in this place?" he said.

"I don't think there is one," Hektor said.

"I might need to get out of my costume now!" Payson said.

"No!" Hektor reminded Payson. "Not yet! Not until after the challenge is over!"

Payson was still squirming around in that costume, and then... he bumped into Hektor! The two of them were near the top of a staircase, and then they rolled down the stairs together. All York and Nevaeh could do was watch.

When Payson and Hektor landed at the bottom, they were unconscious. As Ward and Talwen approached the two of them, they noticed a crotch stain coming from part of the horse costume. Talwen and Ward were stunned.

"Wow..." Talwen said. "I guess someone forgot to go to the bathroom today!"

- H -

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PAYSON: That moment brought back bad memories of Grade 6. My nickname was "Master Pee"... and they weren't talking about the first letter of my name!

HEKTOR: Aiyaah... I never thought that reuniting with my former alliance mate would have resulted in anything this embarrassing... but then...

- H -

Ward tore through Payson's and Hektor's horse costume like a knife cuts through a sheet of paper. "And Payson and Hektor bite it!" Chris' voice said. "And by biting it, I'm not talking 'into a candy apple'!"

Ward realized whose costume he just destroyed. "My bros?" Ward said.

"Ward?" Hektor said in shock.

"Yeah, long time no see to you too," Payson said to Ward sarcastically.

TEAM ALPHA - 2 / TEAM BETA - 2

- H -

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WARD: Those were my former bros... and I turned on them... WHAT HAVE I FREAKING TURNED INTO?

- H -

Nevaeh and York freaked out when they saw Ward approaching. "Let's get out of here!" Nevaeh shrieked.

Nevaeh tried to run for dear life as Ward was going after her. York banged her head against one of the walls.

As Nevaeh tried to run up a staircase, Ward grabbed onto her leg, stopping her! Then he roared at her, and Nevaeh really freaked out! "YOU WILL BE MINE!" he yelled.

- H -

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NEVAEH: When Chris says a Halloween challenge is scary, believe me, it's scary! But Ward made it even scarier... I don't even know if I want to make friends with him anymore!

- H -

As Ward kept ripping off pieces of Nevaeh's costume like a madman, Talwen decided to intervene. "Wait!" Talwen said to Ward. "Ward, what's come over you? You shouldn't be doing this to a young, innocent girl!"

When Talwen said this, Ward stopped. "You're right," he said. "I don't know what the heck came over me."

"Whew!" Nevaeh said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Then Talwen smiled. "That's right... I'm going to be doing it instead!" she said, and then she ripped off the rest of Nevaeh's costume. Nevaeh screamed and ran out of the mansion.

"And Navila is now out of the challenge!" Chris' voice exclaimed over the P.A. system. "Team Alpha is now down to one member!"

TEAM ALPHA - 1 / TEAM BETA - 2

- H -

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NEVAEH: Chris! Get my name right! It's "Nuh-VEE-uh"! Nuh... VEE... uh!

YORK: So, I guess it's all up to me, the only member of the team who's actually competent. Pop quiz... what was the scariest thing about this Halloween challenge? The jack-o'-lanterns? No. The haunted house? No. The psycho in the hockey mask? Not really. Give up? The answer is... a ticked-off Team Alpha girl with nothing left to lose!

- H -

"Hey, hockey boy!" York shouted to Ward. "Ready to lose?" She then turned her back to Ward, and then began slapping her butt as if to taunt him.

Ward was really furious. "THAT'S IT!" Ward shouted. "YOU ARE GOING DOWN!" Ward then approached York, raising his hockey stick, and then charging toward her.

"And I'm taking you with me!" York exclaimed, charging toward him.

Talwen wisely backed away from the ensuing commotion.

- H -

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TALWEN: Ward and I were the last two members of Team Beta left in that challenge, and I have to admit, I'm glad Ward was one of them. He took out a lot of people all by himself... plus the fact that he made himself a big target for the other team drew all the attention away from little ol' me! [She smiles.] Sometimes it's good to stay under the radar!

- H -

Ward was about to grab onto the leather pants that were part of York's heavy metal costume, but York quickly grabbed as tightly as she could onto Ward's hockey sweater, and pulled it clean off!

Ward was astonished that York would do something like this. She then pulled onto the cord that Ward's hockey mask was attached to, and snapped it tightly, causing Ward to lose focus. While Ward was busy adjusting his hockey mask, York pulled off the hockey pads, and grabbed his hockey stick, and snapped it in half!

"MY HOCKEY STICK!" Ward shouted.

"Good, I needed some firewood," York taunted.

Ward reached his arms out, and tried to grab onto the rest of York's outfit, and while he ripped off pieces of it, York reached out, and removed the final part of Ward's costume - his hockey mask.

"And Ward is now eliminated!" Chris' voice boomed. "Now it's just York from Team Alpha versus Talwen from Team Beta! Those at home, grab a big bucket of candy corn and get ready to watch the potential bloodbath!"

TEAM ALPHA - 1 / TEAM BETA - 1

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: GRRR! I was THIS. FREAKING. CLOSE. [tries to calm down] Talwen, babe... do it for this bro...

YORK: Ooh, the big man with the muscles is sooo scawwy! I'm glad I took this guy down several pegs... and the only one left should be a piece of cake!

TALWEN: Okay, we lost the "muscle" of our team, but I applaud him for lasting as long as he did in the challenge! I think I could handle York, because from what I understand, she's basically a lot of talk. It's time for her to put her Halloween candy where her mouth is!

- H -

The eighteen contestants eliminated from the challenge were sitting down outside the mansion. All they could do was wait, to see whether their team would be declared victorious.

Nevaeh from Team Alpha was overjoyed that she could be with Connor again.

"That challenge was super scary!" Nevaeh said to Connor. "I hope none of the remaining challenges are as scary as this one!"

Connor comforted her. "Believe it or not, we could still win this one," he said. "York might actually win. For both of us... and for our team."

Nevaeh was surprised. "Y... you're rooting for her?"

"Why not?" he replied. "It's not like we have a choice, do we?"

Nevaeh rested her head on Connor's shoulder. "Yeah, I guess so..."

- H -

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CONNOR: The scariest thing about the Halloween challenge is the fact that I actually want York to win it! Chris must have put something funny in our Halloween candy, because normally, I'd be against her!

NEVAEH: Connor always knows how to lighten the mood even during ordeals as horrifying as this one. I don't care what the others think, I am not voting him off tonight!

- H -

Back in the mansion, York and Talwen were staring each other down for the final showdown.

"It's you," Talwen said to York. "You're the one who eliminated all of our teammates!"

"Yep," York said with a sly smirk on her face. "I hear you like Halloween. Well, there's a nice graveyard out back which will be your new home, once I've finished burying you, that is. And none of your spells are going to work on me this time, Harry Notter!"

And then York reached her arms out and grabbed onto the black cloak that was part of Talwen's Harry Potter costume. Talwen tried to put up a fight, but it was too late, and York pulled the cloak clean off. Talwen was stunned.

- H -

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TALWEN: I think I may have faced the worst villain ever in Potterdom, even worse than Voldemort! That's right... on that night, I had a grim encounter with Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way... or as we in the Potterverse call her, "Enoby"!

YORK: Uh-huh, that's right! I just did to her what Ward did to Richie Rich on our team!

- H -

Talwen tried as hard as she could to pull York's heavy metal outfit off, but having little success. "Y... you wouldn't hit a girl with glasses, would you?" Talwen said in desperation.

"No," said York. "But I can do this!" York then grabbed onto the pieces of the school uniform Talwen wore and threw them off. She then pulled off Talwen's black Harry Potter wig.

"There seems to be no way I can win at this point," Talwen said. "I guess it's over..."

"Oh yeah it is!" said York arrogantly, taunting Talwen. "And now that your costume is gone, I can take off the goofy outfit Chris made me wear, because I'm definitely not leaving this challenge looking ridiculous!"

York then took off the leather vest, and the leather pants that were a part of her heavy metal costume.

"Oh, and by the way, Chris..." York said, as she took off her purple heavy metal rocker wig, and then screamed in Talwen's face, "I'm too freaking old for trick-or-treat!" She then removed the spiked bracelets and pulled off both of the leather boots.

"There!" York said. "Now, Chris, make it official! Say, 'Team Alpha has won invincibility!'"

"And Team Beta has won invincibility!" Chris' voice boomed over the P.A. system.

York just stood there in shock. "What?" York screamed furiously. "Team Beta? This has to be a mistake... I just took off every single part of her Harry Potter costume!"

"Ah, but you didn't!" Chris said, as he entered the haunted mansion. "I said that contestants can stay in the challenge as long as they are still wearing parts of their costume! And Talwen is still wearing the glasses that came with her costume, remember?"

Talwen just stood there, faced York, and smiled. "Happy Halloween, York," Talwen said coolly.

York fumed.

- H -

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YORK: Those stupid glasses... I want to pull them off her face right now and break them into a million pieces!

TALWEN: It was nice of Chris to leave me these Harry Potter glasses. You know what? I think I'll keep them. [She adjusts her new glasses.]

- H -

All twenty contestants were standing outside the haunted mansion, with Chris addressing them. "Nice work, Team Beta!" Chris said. "As you can tell, Team Beta has won invincibility, and from what I understand, they picked up something else as well. Quillon, show everyone what you found!"

Quillon held up the Helping Hand medallion. "Mira esto!" he said.

"That is the Helping Hand medallion, of course," Chris said. "And it will give Team Beta an advantage in one of the upcoming challenges... so you could be in trouble, Team Alpha! By the way, Team Alpha, since it's getting late, the Bonfire Ceremony will be in a few minutes, leaving you very little time to strategize. I know. Sucks, huh?"

The members of Team Alpha stood there, nonplussed.

"Oh, and Team Beta, you've won a reward in addition to winning invincibility!" Chris said. "H is for Helicopter ride! That's right! Two of your teammates are going to enjoy a nighttime helicopter ride over New Wawanakwa! Team Beta, who's it going to be? H is for Huddle together to make your decision!"

The ten members of Team Beta huddled.

"We think it should be Talwen and Ward, because after all, they were the last two of our team remaining in the challenge," Ashlynn said.

"Yeah, and Ward did us help muscle victory from the other team," Quillon said.

"Okay, Talwen, Ward... get ready to experience the ride of your life!" Chris said.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

TALWEN: Hmm... I thought that by auditioning for this show, I was already experiencing the ride of my life. But... whatever you say, Chris.

- H -

Later, Talwen and Ward were sitting in a bright red helicopter, being flown by one of Chris' interns. The intern had orange hair, and a green shirt with a helicopter on it. On the seat next to the intern was a boy who was wearing a bathrobe for some weird reason.

"This helicopter reward is the best freaking reward ever!" Ward shouted. "YEAH!"

"I like this reward," Talwen said. "It lets me see the moon up close... the very beacon which brightens our path in the darkest of nights!"

"Yeah, I can tell you like the helicopter, right?" the orange-haired boy said. "Helicopters are the best thing ever!"

"Ooh, Henry, why don't you steer toward the confessional outhouse?" the intern wearing a bathrobe said. "I think they might like to see that."

"Why would I want to do that?" Henry said.

"Because bathrooms are the coolest thing ever!" the bathrobe-wearer said.

"Are you crazy, Dexter?" Henry said. "Helicopters are way better!"

"No, bathrooms are!" Dexter replied angrily.

"Helicopters are a gazillion times better than bathrooms!" Henry shouted in Dexter's face.

"Bathrooms are better!" Dexter shouted.

"Helicopters are!" Henry shouted.

"Bathrooms!" Dexter shouted.

"Helicopters!"

"Bathrooms!"

"Helicopters!"

"Bathrooms!"

Talwen and Ward were getting a bit uncomfortable at Henry's and Dexter's argument. It became really heated when Henry grabbed onto Dexter's neck, and tried to strangle him! And Dexter tried to strangle Henry back! Dexter and Henry were so busy strangling each other that they failed to realize that no one was piloting the helicopter!

The helicopter plunged toward the confessional outhouse, falling faster and faster. Talwen and Ward were getting worried for their lives.

"WHOA!" Ward shouted. "WHAT THE HECK, BRO?"

"Oh my!" Talwen shouted.

The helicopter crashed into the confessional outhouse. Thankfully, none of the four people in the helicopter were injured. Talwen and Ward were relieved that they were all right.

"Ha!" Henry said, smiling arrogantly at Dexter. "The helicopter has triumphed over the bathroom. Therefore, the helicopter wins!"

Dexter frowned, and narrowed his eyes at Henry. "You win this round..." Dexter said to Henry. "For now."

Talwen and Ward stared at each other, confused.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

WARD: If I won the game, I was going to take my Breaker friends on a helicopter ride to celebrate, but I don't know if I want to do that now.

TALWEN: That's weird... I had the perfect inspiration for a poem... and now it's gone. Oh well.

- H -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The ten members of Team Alpha were sitting down for their Bonfire ceremony. The night had left them with no time to vote anyone off yet, so all ten of them were very nervous.

"Welcome to your first Bonfire Ceremony as a team of ten, Team Alpha!" Chris said. "Yeah, I know it's late, and you're probably not looking forward to voting anyone off tonight."

"Yeah, tell us about it," Unique said.

"On this Halloween night, we gave Team Beta some treats," Chris said. "So, I'm going to give you a treat as well... you're not going to have to vote anyone off tonight."

The ten Team Alpha members were relieved.

"Yes!" Gareth said. "I'm not going anywhere!"

"Wow, that is a surprise!" Hektor said.

"Instead, I'm going to give you another twist," Chris said. "H is for Host! One of you ten will be given the opportunity to host a future season of Total Drama! I don't know whether that person will do as good a hosting job as moi, but eh, whatever works."

The ten Team Alpha members were delighted.

"In a moment, each of the ten of you will write down the name of who you think should be a suitable potential host! It cannot be your own name, it has to be someone else's! Good luck, everyone, and happy Halloween!"

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: Wow... this twist is completely unexpected! Instead of having to vote people off, I get to help people! I vote for Nevaeh to be the host for a new season, because this challenge must have been hard on her, and this will hopefully make her feel better!

NEVAEH: I vote for Connor to be the host, of course! And hey... now that he has all that money, maybe he can buy that hosting job from Chris!

GARETH: I don't care what Velandra said about her, I am voting for York to be the host. She's actually not that bad! ...Hey! Why are you laughing?

ZAKERI: I would like to see some positive chi flowing throughout a future season... so why not vote for someone that gives positive energy to the team?

PAYSON: Booyah! I'm voting for Hektor, just to make my bro happy!

HEKTOR: My vote is obviously for Payson... I mean, my vote may be just one vote out of ten, but I can't leave him without anything at all!

UNIQUE: Now I have to choose between Hektor and Zakeri for the vote... what to do, what to do? I hope Hektor won't get mad at me if I write Zakeri's name down. Sorry, Hektor!

FRANCESCA: This is a tough decision... but I would like to stick it to Chris, so I'm just writing down the name of someone he probably hates.

LUNA: I vote for someone who I think likes my cute little hamster costume... and is probably just as cute!

YORK: If Gareth thinks he's getting a vote from me, that is, if he thinks he's getting a vote from anyone, he's delusional! If this twist is what I think it is, I know exactly which name I'm writing down!

- H -

After the votes were tallied up, Chris returned carrying another box of alphabet cookies. "Thank you for voting, campers," Chris said. "Oh, and remember, at the challenge, when I said that there were tricks and there were treats? Well, I gave all the treats to Team Beta, so you get the tricks!"

The smiles on the Team Alpha members' faces turned to frowns.

"H is for Ha Ha! Someone is going to be voted off tonight, and I tricked you into writing someone's name down! I don't know whether that person will be host or not... as if... but the person with the most votes will be eliminated, and who knows? Maybe I'll even get to TP that person's house tonight!"

Chris laughed, but the ten contestants did not.

"Anyway, if you get an alphabet cookie, you're immune from the vote." Chris pulled out a G-shaped cookie. "Gareth, you're safe!" Gareth caught the cookie.

"Unique, so are you!" Unique received her U-shaped cookie.

"Luna!" Luna received an L-shaped cookie.

"Francesca!" Francesca got a cookie shaped like the letter F.

"Zakeri!" Zakeri caught the Z-shaped cookie he received.

"Hektor, you're safe as well!" Chris said to Hektor, throwing an H-shaped cookie in his direction.

"So are you, Payson!" Chris said to Payson, tossing a P-shaped cookie.

"And you, York!" Chris said, throwing a Y-shaped cookie York's way.

Connor and Nevaeh were really scared now. They were holding each other's hands.

"Aw, how cute!" Chris said. "These two make such a nice couple, but it's a shame one of them is going to leave us now! The final cookie goes to..."

Connor and Nevaeh stared sadly into each others' eyes, wondering how in the world it had come to this...

- A -

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- C -

- D -

- E -

- F -

- G -

- H -

- I -

- J -

- K -

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- M -

- N -

- O -

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- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

The final cookie pulled out was C-shaped. "Connor!"

Connor was relieved that he had received his C-shaped cookie. However, he felt a bit sad that he had lost his new girlfriend, as Nevaeh stared back at him sadly.

- H -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: What have I done...

UNIQUE: That could have been any one of us... wow. I don't know what to say.

- H -

"The Dock of Shame awaits you tonight, Nevaeh!" Chris said to Nevaeh.

Nevaeh cried a little bit, but then, a small smile formed on her face, and then she wrapped her arms around Chris and gave him a hug.

"Oh thank you, Chris!" Nevaeh shouted excitedly. "Thank you for saying my name right! Finally!"

"Yeah, yeah," Chris said. "Now will someone get the Boat of Losers out here so Team Alpha can mourn your loss already?"

- H -

Nevaeh went onto the Boat of Losers. The other nine Team Alpha members were already on the dock, and many of them were waving goodbye to her.

"Bye, Nevaeh," Unique said. "It's a shame you had to leave this way."

"Yeah," Francesca said. "Worst twist ever!"

"I'm going to miss you most of all," Connor said to Nevaeh.

"And I'll miss you too!" Nevaeh shouted back to Connor. "Team Alpha... win this game for me!"

As soon as the Boat of Losers was out of sight, Chris addressed the viewers. "Will Navina make a better host than yours truly? Shyeah, like I'd ever let someone like her host a season! Besides, there's only one person who can host Total Drama, and you're looking at him right now! See you next time, where I throw even more unexpected twists at the campers, right here, on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY:

Nevaeh (4) - Connor, Francesca, Luna, Zakeri

Connor (2) - Nevaeh, York

Hektor (1) - Payson

Payson (1) - Hektor

York (1) - Gareth

Zakeri (1) - Unique

Episode 9: There's No "I" In 'Team'

The bright sky of the next day contrasted with the last episode's Halloween ambience. Either way, Chris showed up on the Dock of Shame to make things more scary. "Last time, on Total Drama Alpharama..."

A witch's brew of scenes from last night's frightfest was laid in front of the viewing audience like an assortment of Halloween candy.

"Yeah, I made these twenty contestants go into like this dark, spooky mansion in these Halloween costumes, and they had to take the opposing team's costumes off so they can see what their opponents are made of! I also hid a Helping Hand medallion inside the haystacks, and Quillon from Team Beta went through that hay quicker than Owen goes through pizza! He gave his team a handy new twist that could spank the opposing team! Team Beta also won the challenge, while all Team Alpha got was a pair of wet pants, as well as defeat. I also played a trick on them, by making them think they were going to choose who was going to host an upcoming season, but as it turns out, they were really going to vote someone off! Because an episode of Total Drama isn't actually enjoyable until someone leaves! In the end, the girl whose name began with the letter N... Narissa, was it?... got the heave-ho!"

Chris and the Dock of Shame appeared in front of our faces.

"We're down to nineteen contestants, all with their 'I' on the prize! It's intriguing! It's indescribable! It's intense! It's Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"



[TEAM BETA - LUXURY CABIN]

Bouncy reggaeton music blared from the boombox in the cabin as Team Beta celebrated yet another challenge victory. Quillon personally selected the music, like he promised he would if the team won. He proudly raised the Helping Hand medallion over his head while he danced to the music.

"Wow, last time we were in Jamaica," said Blaine, as he danced as well. "But this time we're in sunny Mexico!"

"Mexico? WOOHOO!" shouted Ward, who just entered the cabin, along with Talwen, after they had finished their helicopter ride. "Bring on the hot babes in bikinis, because this is spring break!"

"Um, this is the summer, remember?" Ashlynn said to Ward.

"Oh..." Ward replied. "Right."

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

QUILLON: Yeah, I know the challenge ended late, but I didn't feel like sleepin' yet, man! I was so busy partyin' long into the night... and when I finally did sleep, I dreamt about playin' this medallion thing and winnin' the next challenge! What kind of music we gonna play next, man... R&B? Hip hop? Rap?

BLAINE: Yep... there's no better way to end a Halloween challenge than playin' the spookiest music in the world... reggaeton! ...Just kidding, reggaeton is awesome. In all seriousness, we needed that win. I'm thinking the next four or five challenges will be an easy limo ride to the merge!

- I -

"Hey, Talwen!" Odessa said, patting Talwen on the back. "How was the helicopter ride?"

"Well, all I have to say is... thank goodness for airbags!" Talwen replied.

"Let me guess... crashed and burned, huh?" Blaine said.

"Yep!" Ward said.

"Yeah, because you wanted to try it out, huh?" Ashlynn said with a sly smirk on her face.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WAS THE ONE PILOTING THAT THING?!" Ward shouted angrily at Ashlynn, scaring her a bit. "...Heh heh... I mean, nah, it wasn't me, some of Chris' interns did, though..." he continued nervously.

"Yeah, and knowing Chris' hiring policy, you get what you pay for!" Talwen replied.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

TALWEN: I've had this notion that Henry and Dexter will one day be characters in an upcoming children's book... a dark, edgy children's book. Yep, that book will just fly off the shelves!

WARD: Seriously, I don't have a pilot's license. Okay? Why are you looking at me like that? I flunked Driver's Ed, okay? AND IF I CAN'T DRIVE A CAR, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'D DRIVE A PLANE OR A HELICOPTER? ...And there I go again.

ASHLYNN: The last challenge? Yeah, it was incredibly scary. Not just because we had Wayne Gretzky howling like a werewolf, but also because of Gareth from the other team. You know, I may not like Heather, but I'm starting to understand how she felt that day... [She touches her chest.] ...Brr... it felt so freakin' cold... I don't want a repeat of that!

- I -

Desirae, Ross, and Kieran were grabbing a few sodas from the vending machine, which is a good way to cool down after listening to some spicy Latin tunes.

"We on fire, y'all!" Desirae said. "Someone call the number of the nearest fire station and send someone to hose us all down, because it's gettin' hot up in here!"

"A win with ten players, wow..." Kieran replied, while opening his can of soda. "We haven't had that since... say... season 1!" Kieran then took a sip from his can.

"Yeah, it's a bit weird you not with yo' girl right now," Desirae said to Kieran.

"Um, she said she's coming," Kieran replied. "In the meantime, I'd better get another drink for her... something she likes!" He then some more change in the vending machine and out popped another can.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DESIRAE: Sug', back when I was on Team Omega with Kieran, the boy kept himself away from the rest of all of us. Now that he on a team with Ireland, he been hangin' out 'round other people... of course, he been hangin' out mostly 'round her, but the point is, she still count as "other people", right?

KIERAN: Yeah, Ireland is one of the most passionate girls I've ever run into in my short life. Those protest rallies back at junior high school? She attended every single one of them... and even started a few of them, too. And I noticed that for every rally she went to, there would be more and more green dye in her hair... Trust me, Duncan doesn't use that much dye in his hair! ...Yep, she's definitely devoted... and in this case, it's good.

- I -

Kieran then started to notice Ireland in the hall, talking to Odessa.

"Oh, there she is!" Kieran said, while he walked over to her, carrying both of the cans of soda in his hands. When he left the vending machine area, it was just Desirae and Ross.

"Yeah, him love he girl," Ross said.

"Yeah, and I know y'all gave Francesca that same lovey-dovey look when you saw her in the challenge, right?" Desirae replied to him. "C'mon, admit it!"

"It be true," Ross said. "Me miss Franny-girl."

"But just in case she don't join up witchoo again, y'all can always see me!" Desirae said, smiling and winking at Ross.

"Yeah..." Ross replied. "Me t'ink about it..."

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ROSS: Hoo, mon! De Rasta is now torn between two pretty oomon. One oomon be Franny-girl, but her on de otha' team now. De otha' oomon be Desirae, but Rasta nuh be wit' she as long as him was wit' Franny-girl. I and I might have to choose between one of dem eventually, but it be tough! Like havin' to choose between jerk chicken and curry goat when me go to a restaurant. ...And me know what you t'inkin', but me nuh eat either o' dem oomon!

DESIRAE: Call it a sixth sense, sug', but I know he gon' end up with me in the end. I mean, look at this fro! Look at it! [She touches her hair.] Kept it that way for seven years, baby! Ain't no man don't like a fro like that! I know from experience!

- I -

"I must be reading your lips wrong..." Odessa said to Ireland, "...but an entire can of mousse?"

"The whole can!" Ireland said. "But luckily it was environmentally friendly."

"Wow, I'll have to remember that for my sweet sixteen party!" Odessa laughed. "Is that the brand Kieran buys, too?"

"Well..." Ireland was about to respond when Kieran walked over to the two of them.

"Speak of the devil!" Odessa said.

"Hey," Kieran said to Ireland, giving her the unopened can of soda. "Diet, just like you wanted."

"Thanks!" Ireland said, smiling. She then opened the can, and took a sip of her diet soda.

Ward stuck his head out at the three of them from the other room. "Yo, Kieran, this next track's freakin' awesome, bro! You gonna come dance with us?"

"Coming!" Kieran shouted. He then went to join Ward and the others. It was just Ireland and Odessa now.

"Phew," Ireland said. "I'm glad he's gone."

"You're glad he's gone?" Odessa said, confused. "But... I don't understand. I thought you were attracted to him."

"Don't get me wrong, of course I love him," Ireland said smiling. "But I think the two of us need to spend some time apart for a while. Please... don't tell him I told you this."

"Ah, because you've been making out like crazy since four days ago," Odessa replied. "And yeah, you're surprised to see me apart from Quillon too! I know he was the one who chose the music, but... I've never told him this, but... I'm just not into reggaeton as much as I'm into reggae! Sorry."

"That's okay," Ireland said.

"But that doesn't mean I don't like him too," Odessa responded. "He really helped our team out, and I like him so much for that!"

Just then, Quillon stuck his head out. "Hey, chica, you ready?" Quillon said to Odessa. "I think we found a dance you'd be interested in."

"Okay," Odessa said, joining Quillon. Odessa mouthed to Ireland while signing, "Your secret's safe."

"Got it," Ireland mouthed back. She then tried to sign back, but she wasn't as good at sign language as Odessa was.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: Okay, why have I not been with Kieran as much as I usually am? Well, you saw the two of us together, and well, I've heard some of my other teammates talk about me, saying that making out with Kieran is all I'm good for lately. Well, I can socialize with other people too! I'm not one-dimensional! And by the way, I do not steal meat from people's lunches in the school cafeteria and set fire to it 24/7! It was just the one time!

ODESSA: Ireland really wanted to distance herself from Kieran, which I thought was weird. I hope that doesn't mean their relationship is over for good... right?

- I -

[TEAM ALPHA - DUO CABINS - BOYS' CABIN]

"Please teach us martial arts!" Gareth begged to Zakeri, while grabbing onto one of his legs. "Oh please oh please oh pleeeease!"

"Yes, please teach us!" Payson said, grabbing onto Zakeri's other leg. The events of the last episode have taken their toll on some of the Team Alpha males, and you could tell they desperately wanted some training.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ZAKERI: As you can tell, we just got back from the Bonfire Ceremony, and of course, we lost. And guess who the boys on my team turned to as soon as we got back in the cabin?

PAYSON: I'm sizin' the bros of our team up, and I could tell we ain't nowhere near the strength of Skyler's alliance! Heck, my bro Ward's on Team Beta, and he's a freakin' tank! It was because of him that his team won and we lost today! So we came to Zakeri to avoid being creamed like corn, or spinach, or... or whatever vegetable people cream!

- I -

"Very well," Zakeri said. He then took out four small mats and laid them on the ground. "I guess I should start by teaching the basics."

Connor, Gareth, Payson and Hektor stood onto the mats.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

CONNOR: Wow, I cannot believe that during my second week I took a martial-arts class... I was saving up to take one when I turned 17, but this method is better! I don't have to pay for it! Now I can have extra money to pay for a new wing to add to the local library my family donates to every month!

- I -

"Okay, students, are you ready to begin your first lesson?" Zakeri said to the other four boys.

"Yao, sifu Zakeri," Hektor said, and bowed to Zakeri. Zakeri bowed back to Hektor. The other three boys looked at the two of them with confused looks in their eyes.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ZAKERI: [laughs] I don't know if the others on my team are going to master martial arts overnight... but Hektor really seemed into it. Hektor looks like a boy who has been bullied in school just like I was... but he hasn't even won a single fight!

HEKTOR: I haven't even won a single fight in grade school! I must have been the only Asian boy in my school who hadn't learned martial arts... can you believe that? But on the plus side, I realized that my body can fit into a 30-centimeter by 30-centimeter by 1-meter locker... that is, if the locker didn't contain any textbooks or backpacks. Which they did!

- I -

"Now, class, follow me, and do exactly what I do," Zakeri said. He then made a fist with his right hand, and thrust his right arm out. "Everyone, make a fist with your left hand, and thrust your left arm, like I did." Connor, Gareth, Hektor and Payson repeated what Zakeri did, but with their left arms.

"Wow, all of you are going to be martial artists one day!" Zakeri said, impressed. "I don't know if it's going to be today, but still... impressive! Now let's do the same thing with your right arm, like this!" And he made the same punching motion he did with his right arm, but he used his left arm this time to demonstrate. The other four did the same thing with their right arms.

"Whoa, good thing I'm standing a good distance away, otherwise you would have really hit me!" Zakeri laughed. "Now, you already know how to punch, but now I'm going to teach you how to block punches using a punch of your own. For this one, I'd need a volunteer..."

"Ooh! Pick me!" Gareth said, raising his hand.

"Gareth, you wish to volunteer?" Zakeri said. "Trust me, you don't know what you're getting into..."

"Master, I'm ready!" Gareth said. "I want to learn how to block!"

Connor, Hektor and Payson laughed.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

PAYSON: Gareth was probably the easiest opponent Zakeri's ever faced!

- I -

Zakeri and Gareth stood facing each other, within a foot of each other. "Okay, Gareth, now try punching at me with your left arm." Gareth tried thrusting his left arm out to punch, only to have it blocked by Zakeri, who thrust his right arm out at the exact moment to block it! Then, the unexpected happened... Gareth fell onto the floor! Connor, Payson and Hektor were shocked as well... they didn't expect to see something like this happen!

"Um..." Zakeri said, rubbing the back of his head. "I guess that's enough martial arts for today."

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

GARETH: Okay, from now on, I'll only learn martial arts when I'm up against... no one at all! That way, I win every time!

ZAKERI: Guess that means I'll still be the only muscle on the boys' side of this team... [sighs]

- I -

[TEAM ALPHA - DUO CABINS - GIRLS' CABIN]

York frantically paced around the floor of the girls' cabin while Luna, Francesca, and Unique watched. "This is not fair!" York shouted. "I don't... like... losing!"

"Seriously, York," Unique said. "It is just one challenge we've lost since the dissolve."

"Yeah, but..." York responded, with both of her hands turned into fists. "I still don't like losing!"

"Hey, I've lost two challenges in a row, but you don't hear me complainin'," Francesca said.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: The last Bonfire Ceremony was... well, weird, to say the least. Thanks to Chris' twist, we lost Nevaeh, and we still have... [sighs] York, who tends to complain a lot when she doesn't get her way. I've done a good job at seducing Zakeri and Hektor so far, and I'm not going to let someone like her take them from me!

YORK: Look at this team! Now look at the other team! That's where most of the muscle is, as well as my beloved Blainey-poo! I'd kill for a swap right now to be with him... so I don't get stuck with Algebra Boy, Mr. Clingy, Mr. Not-So-Hip-Hop, and Connor! Zakeri... is okay. But the rest of them are neither suitable for challenges nor dating!

- I -

York, in her anger, took one of the pillows from her bed, and threw it across the room.

"Pillow fight!" Luna said smiling, as she took a pillow off of her bed, and threw it at York. "Now back with a vengeance!"

"Hey!" York said. "Quit that!" Luna ignored York and kept throwing pillows at her, while Francesca and Unique just sat back and laughed.

"This isn't funny!" York shouted.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

FRANCESCA: Yeah, I know part of me wants to get rid of York, but part of me also wants to keep her around... besides, if watching York get hit by pillows is wrong, I don't want to be right!

LUNA: [holds a pillow in her hands] You know, I think pillow-fighting should totally be an Olympic event! In fact, I may start a petition to get the Olympic committee to embrace this underappreciated pastime! Want to sign, Mr. Cameraman? [She pulls out several papers with multicolored writing on it.] My goal is at least one signature!

- I -

- DAY 9 -

[MESS HALL]

The nineteen campers found Chef's instant oatmeal particularly inviting, and they immediately ingested it! They also imbibed the iced coffee! It was invigorating!

After Hektor retrieved his breakfast, he went over to the green table where Zakeri and Unique were sitting.

"Glad you could make it, you adorkable hunk, you," Unique said flirtatiously to Hektor.

"Thanks," Hektor said, blushing. "Want to see what I learned last night?"

And then Hektor set his tray down on the table and then began practicing the punching moves he learned from Zakeri the night before.

"Wow, you're studying martial arts? Impressive!" Unique swooned.

"Yeah, and of course, I was their teacher," Zakeri said.

"I even practiced this morning too, while everyone was getting ready. Oh, and by the way, thank you once again for teaching me, sifu!" Hektor said, bowing to Zakeri.

Unique giggled while Zakeri stood there, blushing.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: So I see that Hektor has turned into the Karate Kid overnight! I could just picture him... standing in front of a board, and then karate chopping the board to turn it into two halves... and then turning those two halves into four quarters! I think it's cute!

HEKTOR: Gong-gong... po-po... your son has grown. Before this show, I was a weakling who just stood there and let bullies steal my lunch money... now, I am a budding martial artist! Hai-yaaaaaa! [He then punches one of the walls, which leaves a hole in one of them, and a bird ends up flying through it and slams into the wall ahead of it, and falls unconscious to the floor.] Aiyaah... I guess I don't know my own strength...

ZAKERI: I have to admit, in the one day I've taught Hektor, he seemed to be surprisingly good at martial arts, and he may have learned techniques I haven't even taught him yet! If that is true, then, maybe I should learn from him... ...would it be wrong of me to sneak a peak at one of his algebra textbooks when he's not looking?

- I -

After Ireland got her breakfast, she went over to a red table where Ashlynn, Desirae, Ross, and Blaine were sitting.

"I hope I didn't get here too late," Ireland said.

"Always room for one more, sug'!" Desirae said happily to Ireland. Ireland took her place next to Desirae.

Just then, Kieran went over to them, carrying a tray of his own. "Morning, Ireland," Kieran said to Ireland, and then tried to take a seat next to her.

Ireland was a bit embarrassed because of this.

"Um..." Ireland stammered.

"Is something wrong, Ireland?" Ashlynn asked.

"It's okay, Ireland," Blaine said. "If you and your boyfriend want to make out in public, it's totally acceptable. By all means, go ahead!"

"That be quite enough, rudeboy!" Ross said to Blaine.

"I'm just sayin," Blaine continued. "Those two are like salt and pepper... there's never one without the other!"

Just then, Ireland pulled Kieran aside just as he was about to eat breakfast. "Babe, what is it?" Kieran asked.

"Um, Kieran," whispered Ireland. "Would it be okay if... you know... you sat somewhere else? You know... away from me for a while?" she continued, motioning toward the red table where Quillon, Odessa, Ward and Talwen were sitting.

"Whatever you say, babe, whatever you say," Kieran replied.

- I -

Kieran carried his lunch tray to the top of the tall cliff he visited last week. He was about to eat his breakfast when Ireland came over to him, with an angry look on her face.

"That wasn't what I meant!" Ireland shouted to Kieran.

"Then you should have been more specific, babe," Kieran replied, and then he started eating his breakfast.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: Kieran... he's starting to revert back to his old antisocial ways, isn't he? I know this relationship with him is a bit rockier than it's been lately, but I worry that one false step, and it could be truly over. And him being on the top of the cliff made it easier to conjure up such an image!

KIERAN: Ireland has been my one and only. But right now, I think she's a bit tense. She just needs to relax. I'll still be there for her, she shouldn't have to worry about it! Now if you don't mind... [He raises his palm and shoves it toward the camera.]

- I -

While Kieran was eating and Ireland was glaring at him, they almost didn't hear Chris' announcement over the P.A. speakers.

"Campers, I've come up with a brand new challenge that you will really feast your 'I' on!" Chris' voice said. Then he laughed.

Kieran and Ireland were stunned.

"Y... you mean, they have a P.A. system over here too?" Kieran said.

"Yeah, apparently," Ireland replied.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

KIERAN: Sheesh, Chris has been reading way too much "Nineteen Eighty-Four"! Big Brother is like everywhere, man!

- I -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

Artificial snow covered the green field, and so convincingly too! You could almost never tell that it was actually a hot summer day in July. Fake snowmen greeted the nineteen contestants (although it would be hard to do so, since, you know, they're immobile and everything). Chris was also there, wearing a wintry parka, gloves, and a scarf. Alyssa, knowing the snow was fake anyway, chose to wear her normal outfit, causing Chris to glare at her. Alyssa ignored him and just wrote on her notepad.

The contestants, of course, laughed at Chris' outfit.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

PAYSON: I see that someone had cranked his AC up to full blast today... and I think Chris is really overdoing it with the winter wear. Watch, sweat will pour down his face sometime today!

- I -

"Congrats for completing about one-third of the game, campers!" Chris said to the nineteen contestants. He then held up a large letter I. "I... is for Ice Cream! And I bet that's what you're craving during the nine days you've been out here!"

"You bet we are!" Luna said, licking her lips. "Ice cream is oh-so-yummy, and it would be oh-so-nice if it were in my tummy!"

York rolled her eyes, and then laughed a little at Luna's statement.

"Well, the winners of this challenge will have an ice cream party, with all the ice cream that would likely give them brain freeze for about two, three weeks tops! However, all that ice cream... is in here!"

The doors to two large igloo-shaped storage facilities opened, each containing several scoops of ice cream... however, they were all encased in giant blocks of ice!

"I... is for Ice Cream Igloo! Inside these giant igloos are one hundred scoops of ice cream... however, each ice cream scoop is inside a block of ice! We're talkin' colder than the boogers hangin' from a polar bear's nostrils here! You have to release all one hundred scoops from the blocks of ice that they are trapped in... without using any matches or lighters or anything that can cause fires! In other words, anything that our former intern Igneous uses!"

Just then, Chef came onto the scene. He had just arrived, dragging Igneous, who had been tied up with lots of rope, with him, and had confiscated all of Igneous' matches and lighters.

"You are getting rid of my precious babies over my dead body!" Igneous shouted at Chef. But Chef ignored her. He put the matches and lighters in a pile on the ground, took out one of the matches, lit it, and set fire to the pile, throwing the lit match in it as well. All Igneous could do was watch and cry.

"My matches! My lighters! Noooooooooooooooo!" Igneous sobbed in a cry so loud, virtually everyone nearby could hear it (even Odessa, who was deaf, still witnessed it). "But then again, it's still fire, so yaaaaaay!"

"Igneous... SHUT. UP. I'm talkin' here," Chris said, and then Chef dragged Igneous away. "Anyway, campers, in order to take the scoops of ice cream out of the ice... I is for Improvise! Do you have any bright 'I'-deas?" Chris, as predicted, laughed at his pun, and of course, the contestants didn't.

"Also, campers, of those hundred scoops, fifty of them are actual scoops of ice cream. As for the other fifty? I is for Imitation! These fifty scoops are clever imitations that look so much like the real thing. As for how to tell the real ones apart from the fakes? I is for... I'M NOT TELLIN' YOU! Oh, and you cannot lick the ice cream scoops or eat them, or any form of interaction that involves the scoops and your mouth, otherwise your team will be penalized. When you think you have figured it out, please the correct scoops on the ice cream cones, and hit the buzzer, and you will be told how many you have correct. The first team to correctly figure out which fifty of their scoops of ice cream are real will win invincibility!"

The nineteen campers cheer.

"In addition, the winning team, as I said before, will be able to eat all the ice cream they want... but the losing team won't have any to eat at all! And now, for a twist you've no doubt been waiting for... I is for Invincibility Idol! Yep, just like the McClean-Brand Chris Head from last season, there are two hidden Invincibility Idols, one green, and one red, one for each team, that are hidden somewhere. They may be hidden in this challenge, they may be hidden somewhere else, who knows? In any case, if you find one, you can keep it only if you are on your respective team. Otherwise, you must give it to someone on the team that idol represents before the next Bonfire Ceremony! Because if you don't, then the other team will like seriously hate on you, and we don't want that, do we?"

The campers were intrigued.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ASHLYNN: OMG... when Chris talked about these Invincibility Idols, I was like... oh please don't let the wrong person find one! But I'm glad there are two of them, because hey, if York finds one, then there might as well be one for someone else to find. You saw last season, where the only idol ended up in... blech... Scott's filthy hands. But luckily I saw the last episode, and it's safe to say that he won't be getting his hands on any of them anytime soon!

CONNOR: I've already lost Nevaeh to Chris' completely unfair twist last time, and I could be next! So you can tell I want one of these Idols! I have to keep my eyes peeled for anything green... I mean other than dollar bills, thank you very much!

- I -

"Oh, and one more order of business before we begin the challenge," Chris said. "Team Beta, last challenge, you found the Helping Hand medallion, correct?"

"Simon, ese, we did," Quillon said, holding up the Helping Hand medallion.

"Team Beta, if you use the Helping Hand medallion, you will be given an advantage in this challenge. And of course, that advantage will make it easier for you to whup Team Alpha's butts like you did the last time!"

The nine members of Team Alpha were not amused.

"So, Team Beta, would you like to use your medallion now, or do you want to wait until later? Which is it going to be?"

Quillon handed the Helping Hand medallion over to Chris. "We'd like to use it now, man!" he said. The other nine members of Team Beta cheered.

"Woo, way to go, Quillon!" Odessa clapped at Quillon.

"We be jammin' wit' dis advantage, mon!" Ross said.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

QUILLON: Hey, the vato spends lots of free time coming up with these loco twists, I couldn't just let that one go to waste. On every season of Total Drama, there's usually one team that curbstomps the other team in challenges, and we're proud to be that team!

FRANCESCA: So, it's not like the losing team on every season completely loses. I've seen teams like the Killer Grips and the Toxic Rats bounce back from defeat... and though the pounding we took from Team Beta isn't as severe as it was in those seasons, we will rebound from defeat and tie things up again! This episode will be their third visit to the Bonfire Ceremony, not ours!

- I -

"Team Beta, since you played the Helping Hand medallion, you get an advantage!" Chris said, handing Team Beta a toolbox. "In this toolbox are a set of icebreaking tools that you can use on your ice blocks! Sorry, Team Alpha, but these tools aren't for you!"

The members of Team Alpha scowled again.

"However, what I will give you is this!" Chris threw the Helping Hand medallion at the members of Team Alpha, and Payson quickly caught it.

"Hey, what gives, ese?" Quillon asked angrily.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you?" Chris said smugly. "Once you use the Helping Hand medallion, the other team will be given that medallion, and they can use it at the next challenge to give themselves an advantage if they wish."

Quillon fumed, while an evil grin formed on York's face.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

QUILLON: Man, sometimes I hate not bein' told these things until it's too late! I think Chris is just makin' up the rules as he goes along, homes.

YORK: Forget the ice cream reward... we didn't even do the challenge yet and we already got something better... sweet payback! [She rubs her hands together.]

- I -

"Now, then, are there any questions?" Chris asked.

"Yeah," Unique said, raising her hand. "Are you sure the ice in there is cold, and won't melt in the hot sun?"

"Of course it's cold!" Chris said. "In fact, our newly-hired intern made these ice blocks this morning, and they were cold when we carried them all over here! Come on out, Alec!"

A boy with brown hair, a white lab coat, and strange swirly glasses came over to them. "I is for Incredible Invention! I made these ice blocks myself, and I made them... with SCIENCE!" He then adjusted his glasses.

"Wow, you seem like a well-educated lad," Talwen said.

"I also made the fake ice cream scoops myself... with SCIENCE!" Alec continued.

- I -

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ASHLYNN: Okay, does this boy talk about anything but science?

ALEC: So? Do you have anything wrong with SCIENCE?

YORK: I'm thinking this boy got shoved into a school locker... and he got shoved with SCIENCE!

- I -

"Now, if everyone will take their places inside the igloos, you can begin!" Chris said. The nineteen contestants entered the igloos, and the doors slammed shut behind them. "Oh, and you cannot leave your igloos until the challenge is over! Your challenge begins now! Have an ice day!" Chris laughed at his joke, but the nineteen contestants ignored him and began the challenge.

The members of Team Beta were having an easier time with the ice blocks, thanks to their icebreaking tools. Ward lifted an ice block that was on the highest level of the pile down to the floor with no problem thanks to his strength. Once it was on the floor, he and Talwen held it steady, and Quillon took out a hammer and chisel and crushed the ice block until there was nothing left but the ice cream scoop inside.

Ashlynn, Blaine, and Desirae got to work hammering down a second nearby, while Ireland and Kieran held a third ice block for Odessa and Ross to use their ice picks on.

- I -

Team Alpha, on the other hand, with one fewer member, and no tools to help them out in any way, were in trouble.

Even though Zakeri was the strongest member of the team, he still had a bit of trouble lifting those heavy ice block. It had to take more than one team member to lift one of them off the pile!

And believe me, those ice blocks were hard! Gareth punched one of them, but it didn't break. Gareth felt his hand hurt a little.

"Yeouch!" he said, as he rubbed his sore hand. "What does this ice block have against me?"

- I -

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GARETH: I'm beginning to think that these ice blocks are a reflection of Chris' cold, wintry heart. Also, ONE THAT HASN'T BEEN BROKEN! Like mine's been!

ZAKERI: March was the last time I trained in a snowy background setting. I may still be rusty, but I have lifted ice before... okay, so it was in large bags that I would pick up whenever our family would go to the supermarket.

- I -

"YAAAAAAAAH!" Ward screamed as he lifted another ice block off the pile. The other members of Team Beta didn't need to use any ice tools at all, as he threw it onto the floor, and it broke into lots of pieces, freeing the ice cream scoop inside.

"Whoa!" Ashlynn exclaimed, as she dodged the remains of the ice block. "Watch where you're throwing that thing!"

"Sorry!" Ward shouted.

- I -

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ASHLYNN: And you thought Ward's shouting was bad... he is throwing these chunks of ice like Sasquatchanakwa threw those barrels last season! From now on, I'm going to call him "Sasquatchanakwa 2.0"!

WARD: Yeah, bro, picking up those blocks of ice is a nice outlet for my frustrations! At least, it's what my therapist told me. And why not? I have to follow her advice, because she's like the hottest therapist on the planet! And a body like that deserves that many degrees! WOOOOOOOOOOO!

- I -

"Nine..." Odessa counted as ice block after ice block was destroyed. She then chiseled another ice block into near-extinction. "Ten..."

"Great job, chica!" Quillon cheered. "Way to show that ice who's boss!"

"Yeah, it must be hard for the other team..." Ireland replied. "Having to destroy only one block to our ten, I imagine."

"If they destroy any at all!" Kieran responded. Ireland giggled... and then cracked another ice block when the chisel was driven through it.

"Eleven..." Odessa counted.

- I -

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KIERAN: I think this is the easiest challenge for Team Beta to win yet! And with the ice tools, there's not much to do but hang back... [he takes off his shades] ...and chill.

ODESSA: It's nice that Kieran manages to keep his cool at times like this. ...Pun not intended, of course.

- I -

"Come on, you stupid freak of nature... break already!" York shouted, as she kicked at an ice block, but to no avail.

"You should try asking more nicely!" Luna told York with a smile on her face.

"Shut up, Luna! I am in no mood!" York shouted at Luna. Luna started to cry a bit.

- I -

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LUNA: Well, now I know what an ice queen looks like! I knew I should have taken my camera with me... a photo of an ice queen would have been the headliner of those tabloid zines you see in the checkout line!

YORK: Chris McClean, you are just trying to make my team lose for the second time in a row, aren't you? Admit it!

- I -

Hektor and Payson were lifting another ice block by themselves. They both looked at York, who was fuming after failing to break her ice block.

"Aiyaah, this looks bad," Hektor observed. "Should we help her?"

Hektor and Payson looked at each other, then looked at York again, then looked at each other again.

"Nah," Payson said.

"Nah," Hektor said, and carried their ice block down.

- I -

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PAYSON: Well, at least the good thing about losing this challenge is that it makes voting York off that much easier. I mean, we could just throw it, but throwing challenges just ain't my style, bro.

HEKTOR: The odds of our team winning this challenge at this point started with a zero, and then a decimal point after it, followed by seven zeroes and a 1. Those are scary odds!

- I -

"Ev'rybody break dat ice... for dat ice cream paradise..." Ross sang in a reggae-style song, as he and Desirae successfully chiseled another ice block, liberating the scoop of ice cream inside.

"Ooh, boy, y'all sho' got a fine set of pipes to go with those stylin' dreads, you dig?" Desirae said to Ross, while running her fingers through Ross' dreadlocks.

"Hee... dat tickles, oomon!" Ross laughed while Desirae kept feeling Ross' dreads.

"Welcome back to Jamaica!" Blaine announced, while he and Ashlynn broke another ice block. "Where reggae has been known to have an uncanny effect of shattering ice, causing it to be summer all year round!"

"T'ank you, ev'ryone, t'ank you," Ross said, bowing.

"INCOMING!" Ward shouted, as he threw another ice block Ross' way. Ross and Desirae managed to dodge it just in time. It may not have shattered like some of the others did, but Ross' chisel could fix that!

"Ev'ryt'ing's gon' be all right, us be eatin' ice cream tonight..." Ross continued to sing, while Desirae retrieved the ice cream scoop from the debris he turned the ice block into.

"Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry... it's all good, sug'!" Desirae cooed, massaging Ross' arm.

- I -

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DESIRAE: Ross is my kinda man... the dreads, the voice, the charisma... if there was a guy I would go dancin' with, he the one. If he were to do the Electric Slide, it would really be electric, baby!

ROSS: Mon, Dezzy-girl be really int'rested in de Rasta lately! Her go t'rough me dreads quicka' dan a scythe go t'rough sugar cane! Franny-girl neva' go t'rough me hair dat fast... but mon, me miss she a lot... me wonda' how her be doin' on da otha' team?

- I -

"Oh OH oh OHHH... ice cream jammin'... oh OH oh OHHH, we be ice cream jammin'..." Francesca could hear Ross' singing voice from the area of her igloo.

"Is that what I think it sounds like?" Francesca said, as she, Connor, and Unique tried punching another ice block. They made slow progress, and were getting to the center, but not as fast as Team Beta went through theirs.

- I -

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FRANCESCA: I know I heard Rasta singing! His songs really lighten the mood... and faced with a challenge like this, something that soothing would really help me! [She sighs.] Well, he has Desirae now, so at least he's happy.

- I -

Francesca punched through the layer of the ice block, but this time, it shattered the ice block, and allowed easy access to the ice cream scoop. "Yay, an ice cream scoop," Francesca said, as she took out the scoop that was inside. "And that brings our grand total of scoops to... ...one."

"Wow, even my punches aren't that good," Zakeri observed, as he tried karate-chopping another stubborn ice block. His previous punches had slowly caused the block to develop cracks in it, but this time, his karate chop did the truck. "And now we have two."

"Yay..." Francesca said. "...I guess?"

- I -

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ZAKERI: I think I have met my match... it's like this ice has been engineered to be shatterproof without the use of ice tools! This ice isn't natural... if it was, it would have all melted by now due to the summer heat and there'd be a giant puddle of water left!

- I -

"Oh OH oh OHHH... ice cream jammin'!" Ross' voice sang from the other igloo. The Team Alpha members could hear more ice blocks breaking as well.

"I think it's Ross' singing that's causing those blocks to break over there," Connor said.

"INCOMING!" shouted Ward's voice from the other igloo.

"And a voice like that could break every single ice block they have!" Unique replied. "Too bad it doesn't do the same for ours, though..." She sighed.

- I -

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UNIQUE: This is a hard challenge, pardon the pun. Ice isn't easy to manipulate like boys... or animals, for some reason. It just sits there and doesn't do anything until you either pick it up or it melts or breaks. But then again, I had a few ex-boyfriends were like that... and they were much colder, too!

- I -

It seemed to be one of the more one-sided challenges. Team Beta had demolished about half of their ice block surplus, while Team Alpha's progress was limited to less than ten.

"I is for I hope you're having fun in there!" Chris' voice resonated from the speakers. "But you guys are seriously so tense all cramped up in there, so you totally need to chill!" And then, as if by magic, the temperature in the igloos lowered by several degrees.

The campers felt colder than ever. It wasn't even winter yet, and they were shivering! Their teeth started chattering, and some even started sneezing!

It may have been a hot day, but it was probably the coldest day in the July for these nineteen...

- I -

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HEKTOR: Aiyaah! Ba-ba, I'm sorry I kept leaving the refrigerator door open in the kitchen when I was an infant! This is my punishment!

CONNOR: That's right, Chris has enough money to buy air conditioners for each of these igloos... and they're permanently stuck on their maximum setting!

TALWEN: Locked in a room where it is perpetually cold... why do I feel a poem coming on?

BLAINE: If we're lucky, maybe all these air conditioners will short-circuit due to overuse and cause a power outage, then we wouldn't be too cold all the time! ...Oh well, I guess that would be too much to ask.

- I -

"Th... this is g... getting too be too much!" Odessa shivered.

"Don't fret, everyone, we'll be in first place soon, and we'll soak in that warm hot tub before you know it!" Kieran said, as he chiseled another ice block.

"I hope you're right about this," Odessa said, as she ran to Ireland, and the two hugged each other for warmth.

"The ice cream party will be worth it, right?" Odessa asked.

"Maybe," Ireland replied. "As long as some all-natural flavors are included, I'm okay with that."

- I -

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IRELAND: I bet everyone's expecting me to say that pistachio is my favorite flavor of ice cream, due to it being green, my favorite color. Well, surprisingly enough, my favorite flavor is vanilla... though I do like mint chocolate chip now and then! Don't tell Kieran that, though!

- I -

Team Alpha hadn't reached one-fifth of their ice block goal yet, and on top of that, the cold air made it difficult for them!

"C... can I kill Chris once the ch... challenge is over?" York shivered.

"Yeah, if you want to get yourself removed from the game," Francesca reminded her.

"T... totally worth it, though," York replied.

Unique was getting worried, and went over to Zakeri.

"Brrr..." Unique shivered. "I guess I may have underdressed for this challenge. That was silly of me!"

"And I just had to be shirtless today," Zakeri replied. "I can imagine the cold air is Chris blowing it in our faces!"

"Yeah," Unique replied. And as she shivered, she suddenly had an idea.

- I -

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UNIQUE: I figured that the other team was way ahead of us at this point, but I came up with a plan to catch up to them. ...And no, the plan did not involve me taking off my clothes! Do you really think I would do that in this cold?

- I -

Unique said to Zakeri in a flirtatious voice... "Would you mind if I rubbed my body against your yours, as long as we're here?"

Zakeri was taken aback. "Unique... this is so sudden! I mean... we're in the middle of a challenge!"

- I -

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ZAKERI: I knew that Unique had been subtly coming on to me since the first swap, but she looked like she was ready to pounce like a tiger! But still, she's tamer than the bully clique back I faced back in grade 7... plus, I found out that she knew what she was doing...

UNIQUE: I found out from the fire challenge that if you rub one stick against another, you create friction... which can cause heat. We may not have been allowed to use anything that can cause fires, but he didn't say anything about causing heat!

- I -

Unique then grabbed Zakeri's arms and pressed him up against an ice block. "All right... let's do it!" she said.

"Okay, if you say so," Zakeri said. And before he could do anything, Unique pressed her lips against his, and placed her arms around Zakeri, while making Zakeri do the same thing to her. The other seven contestants were shocked to see Unique and Zakeri making out in the middle of a challenge... in view for all to see!

"Wow..." Connor said, stunned.

"Aiyaah..." Hektor said, equally stunned.

"Yay!" Luna said, cheering and clapping.

- I -

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LUNA: I just love when showmances appear out of thin air! I bet Chris is happy, because after all, showmances are what he likes, right?

UNIQUE: My team was going to thank me for this later! This was something I needed to do, and I'm glad I did it! Besides, he isn't half bad!

- I -

As Unique and Zakeri embraced, their bodies began to get all warm. Suddenly, the ice block they were near started to melt... slowly dissolving and turning into liquid!

"Hey!" Gareth observed. "The ice is melting!"

"Let's get the ice cream that's inside, yo!" Payson said.

Payson and Gareth ran over to retrieve the ice cream scoop that was inside the ice.

"Now..." Unique said, as she pressed Zakeri against the stack of ice blocks in the back. "Let's do some more!"

- I -

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ZAKERI: You have to admit, Unique can be persistent when she wants to be! My teammates expected me to use my hands for karate-chopping the ice blocks, but I ended up using them for something else entirely... [He feels one of his hands with his other one.]

- I -

"Two left!" Odessa shouted, as she, Quillon, and Talwen got to work chiseling one of the last remaining ice blocks. It broke, and Talwen scooped up the ice cream scoop inside. "Never mind, one left!" Talwen shouted.

"Ward, you do the honors, hon'," Desirae said to Ward.

"HYAAAAAH!" Ward yelled, and with extreme force, he flung the last remaining ice block at one of the walls of the igloo, causing the block to break, and releasing the last ice cream scoop.

"Orale!" Quillon exclaimed. "We're gettin' closer to that ice cream fiesta!"

- I -

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QUILLON: So thanks to Ward, and our helpful tools thanks to the medallion, Team Beta was like horas ahead of Team Alpha. But these challenges tend to have more than one part to them, and the second part is typically the equalizer... ...you know, it would've been nicer if Chris just made the first part the only part of the challenge and called it a día.

- I -

With one hundred ice cream scoops now freed from their icy prison, Team Beta now had to figure out which fifty were real ice cream scoops, and which fifty were something else.

"Well?" Ashlynn said. "Now what?"

"They all look the freakin' same, bro," Ward said. "I'm confused."

Odessa felt the ten scoops that were near her. "They all feel the same, too," she said.

"Maybe we should taste them just to make sure," Blaine said, but Ross said.

"Nuh-uh, bwoy!" Ross said to Blaine. "Me team nuh be takin' de penalty, mon!"

"Okay, it was just a suggestion, sheesh," Blaine replied. "I guess we'd better just pick some scoops up at random and see what happens."

"Well, I have no ideas, so let's do it," Talwen replied, as she picked some scoops up.

"Yeah, good idea," said Kieran, as he picked some up too. Each of the ten Team Beta members put some scoops on the ice cream cones until each of the fifty cones had a scoop on it.

"Well, let's see what we've got so far," Ashlynn said, as she hit the buzzer. A monitor near the buzzer displayed the number 25 on it.

- I -

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ASHLYNN: None of us here know how to tell ice cream from imitation ice cream, so of course we're not going to get 50 right off the bat! And there goes our lead... oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

- I -

"That's... not too bad," Ireland said.

"It's also not too good either," Kieran replied. "I think we'd better switch a few out."

"Good idea," Ireland said. "I don't think this one looks like one of the right ones," she said, picking up a scoop she felt was a wrong one. She saw a different-colored scoop and swapped it with this one. Kieran took two scoops off of the cones that he thought were wrong, and replaced them with two others. He then looked at five more, and replaced them, while Ireland replaced three.

"Let's see how we did now," Kieran said, as he hit the buzzer. The monitor now displayed 19.

"That's worse than our last one!" Ireland screamed. She then took one of the ice cream scoops that she thought was wrong off a cone, and replaced it with a different one. She hit the buzzer again, and it displayed 19 again. She was angry.

"Let me handle this, babe," Kieran replied, replacing that scoop with a different one. After he hit the buzzer, the monitor displayed 19 again.

"This isn't making it better!" Ireland said, even angrier than normal.

"You know what, I've got an idea," Kieran replied to her coolly. "Let's make out."

"What?" Ireland shrieked. "Are you crazy?"

- I -

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KIERAN: I know this is one of the more tense moments of the challenge, but Ireland should just chill. After all, that's what those scoops of ice cream did.

IRELAND: I don't know if my boyfriend is taking these challenges seriously anymore! He suggests that we make out... right in the middle of a challenge! When we made out in challenges before, that made us targets! Who would be insane enough to make out in a challenge like this? Seriously... who?

- I -

Zakeri and Unique were continuing to make out in front of their teammates, and their body heat melted the ice blocks nearby.

"Dang, it's gettin' steamy in here, bro," Payson observed.

"If this place can withstand intense cold, it can withstand intense heat too," said Connor.

"So, is this place a cold place or a hot place now?" Luna asked. "I'm confused."

"I'll say," York said under her breath, rolling her eyes.

After Zakeri and Unique looked at the ice blocks that have melted, they realized that they were only halfway done.

"I think we need to do this faster," Unique said. "Team Beta could be catching up!"

"I know what to do!" Gareth said. And with that, he quickly grabbed York, and thrust her against the pile of ice blocks.

"Quick!" Gareth said to York. "Make out with me!" And then he puckered up his lips and approached York's face.

"Ew!" York shouted. "No thanks!"

- I -

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YORK: The only boy I'd rather make out with is hunkalicious Blaine. But he's freaking ON THE OTHER TEAM!

GARETH: She's just playing hard to get... yeah, that must be it!

- I -

"Then make out with me!" Luna said, as she glomped York, almost pinning her against the ice block pile.

While Gareth and Luna were pushing York further, Connor, Hektor, Payson and Francesca couldn't help but stand back and laugh.

"Urggh!" York fumed. "You two are the most annoying contestants in the history of Total Drama! I cannot stand to be with two people who can barely contribute to any challenge in any shape or form! You... drive... me... insane! You... are USELESS!"

And as she said those words, York's forehead grew hotter. Beads of sweat and rage slowly trickled down her face. Both of her hands were fists, and they were clenched very tight.

"Ooh, you two shouldn't have done that to her," Connor said. "Now she's really mad at us! She's burning up."

"Burning up?" Francesca said. Then she noticed something. "Wait a minute..."

The heat from York's anger had caused the ice blocks nearby to melt around her. They gradually turned from solid to liquid, making it easier for the ice cream scoops inside to be within human contact.

"Score!" Payson said, as he, Hektor, Francesca, and Connor picked up the ice cream scoops.

"Wow..." York said, confused. "Did I... really do that?"

- I -

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GARETH: Ha! Who's useless now? I helped York melt some ice blocks, and if we win the challenge, it'll be thanks to me!

- I -

The monitor in Team Beta's igloo now read "13" after Talwen pushed the buzzer.

"That's worse than before!" Ward shouted.

"Oh, wait... I know what's wrong," Talwen said, as she picked up another ice cream scoop and replaced it with a different one. She hit the buzzer again, and it still read "13".

"No, wait, maybe I don't," Talwen said. "Sorry, everyone!"

"Yeah, and we can't lick the ice cream either or we'll take a penalty, homes," Quillon said.

Just then, Odessa had an idea. "Um... I think we should lick the ice cream anyway."

The other nine contestants turned to Odessa, with surprised expressions on their faces.

"What? Are you insane?" Ashlynn said. "You'll give us a penalty!"

- I -

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ASHLYNN: I just feel like we're going to lose somehow... besides, it's not like I'd want to eat the ice cream now anyway... it'd probably be the kind that'd go straight to my hips.

- I -

"There has to be another way, there just has to be!" Blaine said.

At this point, Desirae noticed a set of crates in the back that had before now previously gotten unnoticed.

"Wait, maybe there's somethin' back here that'll tell all of us which ice cream is which," Desirae said. "Like some kinda clue or somethin'."

"Good idea," Kieran said. "Let me know if you find anything, okay?"

- I -

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DESIRAE: I was thinkin', there had to be some way for us to win that challenge. Chris couldn't just stick some crates in an igloo for no reason at all! It was there that I found somethin'...

- I -

Desirae opened the top of one of the crates, and inside that crate, there was a red statue shaped like Chris McClean. It was holding the greek letter beta... it was probably meant for someone from Team Beta to have! Could it be one of the Invincibility Idols Chris McClean was talking about?

Desirae quietly picked it up and placed it inside her coat after she checked to see if no one was looking.

- I -

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DESIRAE: Sha-ZAM! I think I have found the Invincibility Idol, y'all! If there was any way for this soul sista to be stayin' alive, this would be it, baby! This is all for you, Xev and Morganne... and particularly for you, LeShawna! Oh, and Scott, if you're watchin' this... this ain't for you, jive turkey!

- I -

As soon as Desirae tucked away the Invincibility Idol, while everyone else was too busy figuring out which ice cream scoops were correct, Ashlynn saw what Desirae was doing.

- I -

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ASHLYNN: I noticed that Desirae may have found something in that crate, and there was a humungo chance it was that idol... because, knowing Chris, he would hide something like that in a challenge. But she is my ally, so when she shows it to me, I'm going to pretend to act surprised... just you watch.

- I -

"So... you found something?" Ashlynn said to Desirae.

"Yeah, but it was just a scrap of paper with nothin' on it," Desirae lied. Desirae then opened the other crates. "Hmm... looks like there's nothin' in them crates that'll help us out... sorry, y'all!"

"Then I guess we're going to have to lick that ice cream and accept our penalty," Blaine said.

"How about if just one person licks them all, that way the penalty won't be quite as severe," Ireland suggested.

"Yeah, I volunteer," Odessa said, raising her hand. "I have a heightened sense of taste, of course."

"If any of those scoops taste funky, we can put them in these crates, okay?" Desirae asked, touching one of the crates.

"Works for me," Quillon replied.

"Yay!" Odessa said, excited. She then went to work at licking the ice cream scoops.

- I -

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ODESSA: It's like opening your Christmas presents early... only it's eating ice cream! But sometimes you just can't resist!

ROSS: Us be takin' a major risk wit' dis strategy... but hey... me nuh know how far behind da otha' team is... for all I and I know, dem 'ave less than 'alf of dey ice blocks done by now.

- I -

"Last one!" Francesca said, as she retrieved the final ice cream scoop when Unique and Zakeri finished melting the ice blocks.

"Thank goodness!" Zakeri said, relieved. "I was worried that I would never stop having to do that!"

"I wasn't worried at all, sweetie!" Unique said to Zakeri, winking at him.

"Well, time to guess which ones are right and which ones are wrong," Connor said.

The nine members of Team Alpha looked at the ice cream scoops. However, Hektor noticed something about some of them.

"Aiyaah... some of these look like they've been melted!" Hektor said.

"Yeah, and some haven't," Connor observed.

- I -

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HEKTOR: I know that real ice cream would melt when exposed to a source of heat. The imitation ice cream would probably be like the "ice cream" that miraculously never melts under the bright lights of a filming stage. If only real ice cream never melted like that, then ba-ba wouldn't point his finger at you, chastising you for eating it in the sun too long!

- I -

"I think we should get the ones that are melted, wouldn't you say?" Hektor said to the other members of Team Alpha.

"The melted ones?" York said. "Wouldn't that look all yucky?"

"Yeah, but they may be the right ones," Unique replied.

"Okay, but someone other than me touch them," York continued. "I am not getting my fingers dirty!"

- I -

Odessa quickly licked the ice cream scoop in front of her. "Yum, this is definitely a chocolate one," Odessa said. She picked it up and placed it on one of the cones. She then licked another one. "This is a vanilla one, I'm sure of it!" she said, and placed it on one of the cones as well. She licked a third one. "Ew..." she said. "This one tastes like sawdust."

"Toss it!" Blaine said, as he picked it up and threw it into one of the crates.

Odessa licked a fourth one. "Styrofoam?" She said, almost gagging. "Ick... another bad one!"

"Well, now we know which ones aren't correct," Talwen said, as she placed that ice cream scoop into the crate.

"Let's keep it up," Kieran said. "We'll have the challenge won in no time!"

"Urgh..." Odessa said, reeling. "I think I might end up being sick after this..."

- I -

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ODESSA: I don't even know why I bothered to volunteer for this task again... it's like Chris is making the wrong ones bad-tasting on purpose!

- I -

Francesca picked up another melted ice-cream scoop... or at least, she tried to, but it was so slippery, it fell off her hand and onto the floor.

"Is there anything that we can use to pick these up so we can put them onto the cones?" Francesca asked.

"I think we'd better go check," Payson said. He and Hektor went over to the crates in the back of the igloo. The two boys began searching the crates.

"I don't see nothin', yo," Payson said. "What about you, Hektor?"

However, while Hektor was searching the crates, he found something similar to the red statue Desirae found... only it was green and bore the symbol of the Greek letter alpha. It was the second Invincibility Idol!

- I -

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HEKTOR: Tai hao la! I have found an Invincibility Idol! It looked exactly as I thought it would look like... only Chris McClean himself would want them to look like himself. His parents are going to have a long talk with him.

- I -

After Hektor put the Invincibility Idol in his pocket (when no one was looking, of course), he searched another crate, and another, but came up empty.

"Nope, sorry, we couldn't find anything," Hektor said to the group.

"Then I guess we'd better be more careful with them," Francesca said. She tried picking it up again, but this time, it didn't fall off her hand. She was able to put it on the cone.

Payson was having a bit more trouble carrying one of the correct ice cream scoops.

"Be careful, these are super slippery!" Francesca told Payson.

Payson's ice cream scoop fell off his hand and landed on the floor... directly in the path of where Gareth was holding another ice cream scoop. Gareth didn't see the scoop directly in front of him, and he tripped and fell on the scoop, causing him to fall and drop the scoop he was holding!

"I know..." Gareth said, in a daze. "Thanks for reminding me..."

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

GARETH: These challenges are going to get more dangerous later on for me... but it'll be worth it in the end!

- I -

"Grape," Odessa said, after she licked a purple ice cream scoop. She then put it on an ice cream cone. "Raspberry," she said, licking a pink one, then placing it on a cone. She then licked a green ice cream scoop. "...Cabbage?" she said. "...Seriously, is that even a real ice cream flavor?"

"I'd like to try some later on!" Ireland said.

"So... it is?" Odessa said. "Yeah, let's go with that." She then put the ice cream scoop on the cone.

"We're getting closer to the finish, babe!" Kieran said, wrapping her arm around Ireland. "So... can we make out now?" he whispered to her.

"Not yet!" Ireland whispered back.

"Sorry," Kieran whispered back.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

KIERAN: Victory was within our grasp... however we did it with a potential penalty looming over us. But you know what they say, "Without risk, there is no reward." Plus, if we do get caught, I don't think the blame will be on my shoulders, so I probably won't be going anywhere.

- I -

"And this is the last one, we hope!" Odessa said, as she licked a red ice cream scoop. "Red velvet!"

"I think that's a fake," Blaine said. "That's probably made out of one of my sister's dresses."

"Actually, I've tried red velvet ice cream before," Talwen admitted. "Red velvet is an ice cream flavor."

"It is?" Blaine said. "Why don't people tell me these things?"

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: Ever since she wouldn't let me attend any ice cream socials, I've been out of the loop on just about everything!

- I -

"And this is the last one!" Unique said, as she picked up the last melted ice cream scoop.

"Hurry!" York shouted. "The other team could catch up!"

Unique raced as fast as she could toward the last ice cream cone.

- I -

At about the same time, Odessa placed the red ice cream scoop on the remaining cone. For Team Alpha, Unique then placed the last ice cream scoop on her cone. Both teams were sure they got all 50 scoops correct. Odessa and Unique raced towards the buzzers, hoping to buzz in.

One person buzzed in faster than the other... and got a "50" to appear on their monitor...

- I -

...It was Team Beta.

"And Team Beta completes the challenge!" Chris' voice announced. The ten members of Team Beta cheered!

"No..." Unique said, cursing her bad luck. "I was this close..."

"It's okay," Zakeri said. "Maybe the other team got penalized, and we could still be in this."

"I hope you're right," Unique replied... and then she hugged her arms around Zakeri. The other seven members of Team Alpha stared at them.

"What?" Unique said to them.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: Win or lose, I have got to say... this is one challenge I will definitely remember for the rest of my life!

- I -

The nineteen contestants exited their igloos and Chris McClean greeted them. "Team Beta, you were the first team to get all fifty correct, nice job!" he said.

"Well, it wasn't easy," Quillon said. "But it was nice that the Helping Hand medallion helped out big time here."

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me about it, you cheaters!" York scowled at Quillon.

"Oh, Team Alpha, you were so close to buzzing in!" Chris said.

"I know, I know," Unique fumed.

"Oh well, you can still make it... though I wouldn't hold my breath. Your score will be the number of ice cream scoops you have gotten correct at the time Team Beta buzzed in, okay? Unique, press your team's buzzer."

"Okay, I don't know how that will accomplish anything, but here goes," Unique said, and went to press the buzzer at her team's igloo.

The monitor read "50".

"Nice, you also got all of them, impressive!" Chris said. "It's gonna be really close, folks! Now, the big question is... did anyone on Team Beta cheat and lick their ice cream scoops?"

"Yes..." Odessa said, raising her hand. "I did." Everyone else turned to stare at her.

"Wow..." Chris said. "But just to make sure, I'm going to subtract 10 points for each player who didn't listen to the rules and pigged out on ice cream when they weren't supposed to!"

Chris pressed a button of his own, and the two monitors, which previously displayed a "50" on each of them, went black. He then pressed another button, and numbers came up on the monitors again.

Team Alpha's monitor displayed "50" again.

But Team Beta's monitor displayed "10".

"What?" Ashlynn said in shock. "You're saying four of us licked ice cream when we shouldn't have?"

Ward raised his hand. "I admit it," he said. "I was looking forward to the ice cream party that I just couldn't resist... sorry, everyone."

"Yeah, I didn't know what red velvet ice cream tasted like, so I joined in," Blaine said, raising his hand.

Kieran raised his hand too. "Yeah, I'm guilty, too," he said.

"What?" Ireland said to Kieran. "You too?"

"Yeah, I failed you," Kieran replied. "Will you ever forgive me, babe?"

"Oh, of course I forgive you," Ireland said. "Why wouldn't I?" And then she gave Kieran a hug.

"Aw, it's so touching," Chris said. "But you still lost, by a big amount, in fact. Team Alpha wins invincibility, and they get to eat ice cream tonight!"

"Yay!" Luna said, cheering along with the rest of the Team Alpha members.

"And there's one more twist I forgot to tell you about!" Chris continued. "I is for Individual Invincibility! That's right... Team Alpha, you get to choose which member of Team Beta will receive invincibility, and will be immune from the vote tonight! Who is it going to be?"

The members of Team Alpha huddled, when York quickly spoke up.

"I pick Blaine!" York shouted. Everyone else was stunned at this.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: Yeah, I really need Blaine to be in this game, okay? He is so sexalicious, and he prevents me from completely losing it out here! I can only dream of being in his gorgeous arms... someday, Blaine, someday... [She swoons.]

BLAINE: I think Team Alpha picked me because, well, I'm related to Blaineley, of course, so the instant I lose a challenge, I'd no doubt be targeted... and they'd probably have to pick me so that Team Beta would be forced to choose someone else! ...You know what? If it benefits me, then Team Alpha's strategy is the best! Thanks, Team Alpha, for saving me!

- I -

"Blaine, is it?" Chris said. "Okay, then, Blaine, come with me!" Chris took Blaine to the Boat of Losers, which was parked at the Dock of Shame.

"Blaine, I is for Isolation Island!" Chris said. "The invincibility you received came with an additional twist, because this island is where you are going to be spending the night! You won't be able to participate in the Bonfire Ceremony, and you will not be able to vote tonight! But on the plus side, no one will vote against you unless they have a death wish!" Chris then pushed Blaine onto the boat. "Have fun, Blaine!"

"Bye, Blaine!" Ashlynn waved to Blaine.

"See ya tommorow, sug'!" Desirae shouted.

"I'm gonna miss you like crazy!" York shouted to Blaine. Everyone else turned to stare at her. "What?" she said.

"Now, Team Alpha, I know you'd want to get to say good-bye to a contestant you shouldn't be caring about since he isn't on your team and all, but we have an ice cream party to get to!" Chris said.

"Yum!" Luna said, licking her lips. "When's the ice cream gonna get here?"

"Remember what I said at the beginning of the challenge?" Chris said. "All the ice cream was in the igloos... or have you forgotten by now?"

Chef wheeled the ice cream from the challenge over to the nine Team Alpha members. The one hundred scoops of ice cream that were placed in the ice cream cones were all placed in a big bowl in front of them.

Connor touched one of the ice cream scoops, and it looked melted. "Oh good, we get to eat melted ice cream. Yummy," he said sarcastically.

Luna licked another ice cream scoop... and she felt repulsed. "Ew, this looks like someone licked it already!"

"Well..." Chris said. "Dig in!" He then placed nine spoons in the campers' nine bowls, and then ran off.

Gareth then took some scoops of ice cream and gave them to York. "York, do you want my ice cream?"

"Ick! No!" York said. "Get that away from me!"

- I -

It was just a few minutes before the Bonfire Ceremony, and Desirae and Ashlynn were outside in a forest clearing, plotting.

"Oh great," Ashlynn said. "Now that Blaine's on his own, we're without one of our allies. I guess we're doomed..."

"Aw, now, don't say that, hon'," Desirae said, patting Ashlynn on the back. "Here, I found this earlier." She showed Ashlynn the Invincibility Idol she found.

"Yay, it's an Invincibility Idol!" she said, excitedly. "I don't know whether either of us will be targeted tonight, but it will definitely save us now!"

"I know, but we don't need to use it yet!" Desirae said. "Besides, the vote's probably gon' go to either Ireland or Kieran, 'cuz they all lovey-dovey with each other, and they gotta be broken up!"

It was at this point that Ireland was walking near them.

"Oh, Ireland!" Ashlynn said. "Didn't see you there."

"Yeah, I just love interrupting people's conversations, don't I?" Ireland said sarcastically. "You were talking about me and Kieran, right?"

"Ain't no lie, sug'," Desirae said.

"Well, if I might make a suggestion, so I don't get voted off next..." Ireland said to them.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: I will do anything to save myself... I am that desperate!

- I -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The nine Team Beta members other than Blaine have gathered at the Bonfire Ceremony. "You know, just when I think a team is going to curbstomp another team in challenges, that team has to suck!" Chris said. "Anyway, you know the deal, if you get a cookie, you're safe, if you don't, you're not, so let's get on with it." Chris took two cookies shaped like a T and a W out of the box. "Talwen and Ward, you're safe." He threw the cookies at Talwen and Ward.

The next two cookies were shaped like an A and a D. "Ashlynn and Desirae, so are you," Chris said, throwing them at the two girls.

"Ross, Quillon and Odessa are also safe!" Chris said, as the three received cookies shaped like an R, a Q, and an O. It was just down to Ireland and Kieran.

"Another couple gets broken up! It's gonna be sad... but not for me! Whose dreams will be crushed tonight?" Chris said. "The last cookie goes to..."

Ireland looked like she was about to cry. Kieran held her hand tight, and patted her on the back, as they awaited their fate...

- A -

- B -

- C -

- D -

- E -

- F -

- G -

- H -

- I -

- J -

- K -

- L -

- M -

- N -

- O -

- P -

- Q -

- R -

- S -

- T -

- U -

- V -

- W -

- X -

- Y -

- Z -

"Ireland!" Chris said, pulling out the I-shaped cookie and giving it to Ireland. "Kieran, looks like you're outta here!"

"Aw, man!" Kieran said. "Well, I guess this is the end of the road for me... I don't know what I did to get blindsided like this, but congrats, every one of you."

Ireland went over to Kieran and said, "Well, Kieran, I'd like to apologize for voting you off tonight."

"What?" Kieran said. "Don't be silly, babe, you didn't vote me off, everyone else did."

"No, I did," Ireland said. "I'm really sorry for that... I know we'd like to be with each other forever, but... I don't think now is the time."

"You... aren't breaking up with me, right?" Kieran said.

"Now, why would I do that?" Ireland said smiling. "I've always loved you... even if you do keep to yourself now and then."

Kieran went over to Ireland and hugged her. "Apology accepted, babe." He then patted her on the back.

- I -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

IRELAND: I didn't want to do it, but I felt that to further myself in the game, I had to vote against Kieran. The two of us were turning into Bridgette and Geoff. I did not want to be like Bridgette. Actually, I do want to be like Bridgette, since we both care about the environment... but I did not want to be like the Bridgette that did nothing but make out with Geoff 24/7. Sorry, Kieran... but I will see you again. I will do my hardest in the challenges from now on... for the both of us.

- I -

After Kieran went onto the Boat of Losers, the boat left the Dock of Shame, leaving eight teary-eyed Team Beta members behind.

"I won't forget about you, Kieran!" Ireland said, waving to Kieran.

"And I won't forget about you too, babe!" Kieran said, waving back.

As the boat continued onward, Chris addressed the viewers at home. "It really sucks to be part of a showmance this season, right? But what twists will break up any showmances in the future? And if any showmances get broken up, will new ones form, and if they do, will they only get broken up again? Find out next time, on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY:

Kieran (5) - Ashlynn, Desirae, Ireland, Talwen, Ward

Ireland (3) - Odessa, Quillon, Ross

Odessa (1) - Kieran

Episode 10: "J"'Accuse!

The Dock of Shame thought it would avoid being walked on by Chris this time, but apparently, it thought wrong again. "Last time, on Total Drama Alpharama..."

A flurry of images from the last episode blinded our eyes like a fierce snowstorm.

"What's this? An icy challenge, on a hot summer day? Hey, it's more common than you think! Team Beta received some cool tools to help with their ice problem, and they iced Team Alpha early on! But a steamy showmance by Unique and Zakeri warmed things up, and brought the challenge closer to a dead heat. Team Alpha was about to go back to the Bonfire Ceremony, but it seems that some peeps on Team Beta couldn't wait until the ice cream party, and licked away at their own team's points. In addition, Blaine was sent away to Isolation Island, where he was absent from the drama back at camp... Ireland wants to vote off her boyfriend Kieran? Has heck finally frozen over? Whatever, I'm sure Kieran is totally chill... and I'm sure that at the Playa de Losers, he'll go back to giving everyone else the cold shoulder."

The snowstorm of scenes dissipated, revealing Chris and the Dock of Shame again.

"Eighteen remain! Join us for a jamboree that'll make you jump for joy, today, on Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"



[TEAM ALPHA - LUXURY CABIN]

"I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" York shrieked excitedly, as she hugged the cushions from the comfy sofa, while Connor, Gareth and Luna stared at her. "Oh, I never want to leave this place again!"

"I bet it misses you too," Connor said dryly.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

YORK: Wrong, Team Beta! Team Alpha is going to dominate the rest of this game! This challenge win, followed by the Helping Hand medallion you foolishly gave us, will be the key to my victory!

CONNOR: Don't get me wrong... a place of such elegant luxury is what I was used to living in prior to signing up... but York is really obsessed with it! Maybe she will end up living in one of these places someday... maybe she won't. Who knows?

- J -

York then put some pool balls on the pool table, just as Francesca was about to. "Hey... what the heck are you doing?" Francesca asked.

"Playing a game to celebrate our well-deserved victory, thank you very much," York smirked. She then aimed her pool stick at the cue ball, and it miraculously hit all fifteen of the other balls on the table! Francesca was stunned.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

FRANCESCA: How did she manage to learn the incredibly-hard pool technique that I have already mastered over fifty times?

YORK: Like it's my fault you left your diary open yesterday, Francesca. I admit it, I read it. And I also know about your little crush on Dreadlock Boy, like your body language towards him wasn't enough of a giveaway.

- J -

While York continued to play pool, Francesca walked over to Gareth, Connor and Luna. "I think we've created a monster," Francesca said.

"She must have eaten some crazy ice cream at the party tonight," Gareth said.

"Um, she didn't eat any, remember?" Connor said.

"Yeah, I think you and Luna were the only ones who actually ate some," Francesca reminded Gareth.

"Yep!" Luna said, licking her lips. "Deeelicious!"

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

LUNA: Yeah, I know it had someone else's saliva all over it... but I couldn't let it go to waste! And Gareth really finished off the ice cream soup!

GARETH: My mouth must taste like cabbage mixed with red velvet cake right now... York likes that combination, right?

- J -

"Whoa!" Payson said, as he looked at the Invincibility Idol that Hektor had found. The two of them were currently in one of the bedrooms. "You better not be playin'!"

"Does it look like I'm 'playin'?" Hektor said. "See, it has the Team Alpha logo on it!"

"Yeah, and I hope something this green is going to give us a lot more green!" Payson said, while fistbumping Hektor.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

PAYSON: Dang... I've been to a lot of dance parties... and even hosted a few of them... but that statue made Hektor even more of a playa!

HEKTOR: So far, I've only shown Payson the idol, because of the alliance we formed early on. And York doesn't even know I have it! I'd say there is an 80% probability that everything will work out in my favor if I use it! ...But I haven't shown either Unique or Zakeri yet. Also, I saw the two of them making out in front of all of us during the last challenge, and I wonder... has she really chosen Zakeri over me?

- J -

Hektor went over to the hot tub, where Zakeri and Unique were currently relaxing after a harrowing challenge. Unique was giving Zakeri a soothing back massage.

"Seriously, Unique, how many back massages have you been giving me today?" Zakeri said, while giggling.

"Actually, ten," Unique admitted. "But you can never have too many, right?"

"Oh, you!" Zakeri replied. Then Hektor walked over to them.

"Hey, Hektor," Unique said.

"Hey, guess what I have but York doesn't?" Hektor said.

"A pair of glasses?" Unique asked.

"Well, that, but no," Hektor replied.

"A good social game?" Zakeri said.

"Well, that too, but you're wrong again," Hektor replied.

"I give up," Unique said. "What is it?"

Unique and Zakeri were astonished when Hektor pulled out the Invincibility Idol and showed it to them.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

UNIQUE: I have been torn between Hektor and Zakeri... but right now, I'm leaning toward Hektor because of this one moment... that idol... is the real thing. He couldn't have made it up... that is, unless he has this degree in arts and crafts that I didn't know about! And if so, that will make me even more impressed with him!

- J -

"We have to promise that York will not see this idol," Hektor told the other two.

"We weren't going to show this idol to her anyway," Zakeri said.

"Amen!" Unique said, and she and Zakeri high-fived each other. But their hands had previously been in water from the hot tub, and it splashed a bit on Hektor.

"Oops," Unique said, after seeing Hektor with water on him. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Hektor replied.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ZAKERI: I can be good at keeping secrets. Heck, I've actually kept the capoeira moves I've learned a secret from my parents so that I could surprise them when I used them at the martial arts tournament in Burnaby last year! My parents rewarded me with the biggest dinner I've ever had... which I burned off by training, of course!

HEKTOR: I saw the two of them together, and they were very happy, so I decided not to ask her yet. Oh, well, maybe next time. ...And no, I'm not thinking of voting out Zakeri just so I can be the only one for Unique! We need him for challenges, obviously! I would never vote off our team's greatest physical asset out of jealousy! Aiyaah, why would anyone even think that?

- J -

[TEAM BETA - DUO CABINS - BOYS' CABIN]

"Dang, ese," Quillon said, as he and Ward unpacked. "It looks like we're even with the Alpha gang once again, homes."

"Aw, man, this sucks," Ward said. "I really wanted to go to that ice cream party."

"Yeah, our tongues got us in trouble." Quillon replied. "I guess this is what happens when we refuse to wait for something."

"Me know dat!" Ross replied. "Though me t'ink it be more of rude-bwoy's fault than Ward-bwoy's."

"Speaking of 'rude-boy', a.k.a. Blaine," Quillon said. "It's awfully quiet without him, man."

"How can this be?" Ward shouted. "WHY, TEAM ALPHA? WHY DID YOU TAKE A TEAMMATE AWAY FROM US?"

Ward's shouting was so loud, all the birds that were perched on the roof of the boys' cabin flew off.

"Well..." Quillon said. "It... was awfully quiet."

"But me sure him 'ave an irie time on Isolation Island, mon," Ross continued, patting Ward on the back. "But knowin' dat other rude-bwoy Chris, dat nuh be happenin'."

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ROSS: Though it would probably serve rude-bwoy right for hidin' him relation to dat rude-girl from World Tour from us!

WARD: Our team's got like five chicks and four dudes now. Normally, I'd be STOKED to have more chicks... but still, I don't wanna leave, because the team needs me! I'm their muscle! I'M YOUR MUSCLE, TEAM BETA, GOT IT? DON'T GET RID OF ME!

QUILLON: Isolation Island sounds like a scary place, ese. It sounds even scarier than that place the Tarturus Locos call a "hideout". My vato Jarvis told me that they do horrible stuff to people using paint thinner and duct tape! If only that hideout were outside, where people in helicopters use cameras to film all the stuff that happens there, just like what's gonna happen on that island right now!

- J -

[ISOLATION ISLAND]

"Let me hold the camera!" Henry shouted to Dexter, who was holding the video camera and aiming it at Isolation Island, where the Boat of Losers had just dropped off Blaine.

"Not until you admit that bathrooms are better than helicopters," Dexter smirked at Henry.

"No, helicopters are the best, and you know it," Henry sneered at Dexter.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

HENRY: Come on, Dexter. Everyone out there watching this show knows it's true.

- J -

"Well, in that case, I'll be holding onto the camera, helicopter-worshipper!" Dexter shouted to Henry.

"No, I'm holding it!" Henry said, yanking the camera from Dexter's hands. "Besides, this camera has gotten too many smelly bathroom germs on it already, and needs to be in better hands!"

"Yeah, the hands of someone who doesn't obsess about helicopters 24/7!" Dexter said, pulling the camera away from Henry.

"That's it!" Henry said, assuming a fighting stance.

"Bring it!" Dexter said, dropping the camera, and assuming a different fighting stance. The two interns then wrestled each other to the ground in a battle that seemed to go nowhere. Blaine looked at both Henry and Dexter fighting each other.

"Yyyyyyyeah," Blaine said to the two of them. "If I wanted to see two tweenage boys fight each other, I'd watch one of my sister's interviews on Celebrity Manhunt. See ya never." And then he left and followed the trail to find his new home for the night.

"Oh great, see what you started?" Henry said to Dexter. "He's left already thanks to your arguing."

"He probably went to find the calm, comforting embrace of a convenient bathroom that he can hide in," Dexter said to Henry, "after what your helicopter obsession did to him!" And then the two of them continued wrestling.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

DEXTER: I like the confessional outhouse. It allows me to distance myself from lesser people who have the nerve to slander its good name.

[Just then, Henry punches his hand through one of the outhouse's walls, and Dexter quickly slaps it.]

DEXTER: ...Like so.

- J -

Blaine approached the cabin that had somehow been built on the island.

"Wow... this is my home for the next day?" he said, as he entered. It seemed to be very ramshackled, of lower quality than the cabins on past seasons of Total Drama. The bed looked rundown, with a spring sticking out of the mattress. The wallpaper was peeling, and the roof had several holes in it.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: Team Alpha may have given me immunity today... but they also gave me this cabin to go with it! Not only is it worse than the cabins back at camp, it's also worse than this flimsy outhouse... which... of course, has a hole in it.

[Henry pokes his hand through the hole, trying to strangle Blaine, but Blaine slaps Henry's hand away.]

HENRY: Dexter, it wasn't funny the first time, and it's not funny this time either!

BLAINE: Um... dude... I'm not this "Dexter".

HENRY: Urrrgh! Where is he?!

- J -

It was starting to get late, and Blaine needed to go to sleep. Blaine took the cover off what passes for a bed, and then laid down on top and tried to get some sleep.

"Oh well..." Blaine said to himself. "At least it can't get any worse."

Just then it started to rain. Droplets of water invaded the cabin via the holes in the roof. Blaine grew scared.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

BLAINE: Um, Chris MacClean? The showers are supposed to be installed in the bathroom. Not the cabin. Got it?

DEXTER: So? I couldn't see what was wrong with having it rain in the cabin. I'd love to live there, because when it rains, it feels just like I'm taking a shower! Not that a bathroom-hater like Henry would understand.

- J -

[TEAM BETA - DUO CABINS - GIRLS' CABIN]

As the girls put their clothes away and looked out the window, they noticed the rain was outside.

"Wow, first time we've ever had rain at camp," Talwen observed. "I can just imagine Mother Nature writing some poetry, using this campsite as her canvas, and these raindrops as her ink. Only it'll be hard to see what she wrote because it will just evaporate the next day."

"Or maybe she's crying because she's as sad as we are," Ireland said.

"It's always sad whenever some of us lose a challenge," Odessa said to them.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ODESSA: Well, we lost immunity again. I know I voted against her, but I imagine that Ireland must have been hurt by having to lose her boyfriend tonight. And I worry that the same thing could happen with me and Quillon! Well, I am definitely not voting him off this early!

IRELAND: Why did I have to vote Kieran out this early? I suddenly regret doing what I just did... so now I have to work as hard as I can to get into my team's good graces again! Maybe I'll find some flowers and put them in flowerpots, and place them around the cabin! Flowers will cheer everyone up, right?

TALWEN: It may be a sad day for Team Beta losing again... but I should be lucky it wasn't me. I seem to be playing a good under-the-radar game for now, so as long as the bigger targets go after each other, and as long as one person gets voted off per day, particularly with a cast as big as this... I should be safe. It's all a matter of getting picked to be on the right season!

- J -

Desirae was unpacking her things as well, being particularly careful not to let any of the other girls see the Invincibility Idol she was hiding from them, as she kept it tucked safely within her coat pocket.

"Well, we gon' hit the hay," Desirae said as she went to sleep.

"Yeah, let's get to sleep," Odessa said.

"If we can even get to sleep," Ashlynn said as she got under the covers.

"WHYYYYYYYYY?" Ward's voice echoed from the boys' cabin.

"See what I mean?" Ashlynn replied, as she placed the pillows over her head.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ASHLYNN: I'd give anything for another swap at this point, so that I can finally be on a team with someone other than Screamer Boy for a change. But then again, knowing that each episode has twists now, I may get my wish! So that if we lose, goodbye Ward, and hello, working eardrums!

DESIRAE: Maybe the rain outside washed away the bad funk that was keeping our team from winnin' today. Oh well, I hope tomorrow the sun will shine in the sky like a big ol' disco ball! Woo yeah, I still got it, baby!

- J -

- DAY 10 -

[MESS HALL]

Seventeen of the eighteen campers were present and accounted for (Blaine was still on Isolation Island at the moment). It was Chef's job to join in the jollity by making the campers johnnycakes, juice, and jam tarts! Just the meal to provide a jumpstart!

Ross sat down at one of the red Team Beta tables, and Desirae sat down next to him. Ashlynn sat down next to her. On the green table that was directly across from that table, Francesca sat down. The tomboy was staring lovingly at Ross.

"Oh, I know now she in love with you," Desirae whispered to Ross, as she pulled him aside. "But as long as we on the same team, we can still be together, sug'!"

Francesca noticed Desirae talking to Ross, and immediately got up from her seat and walked over to the two of them. "Excuse me... what was that you were saying to him?" Francesca said.

Ashlynn's eyes opened, and then she nearly dropped the food she was eating. "OMG... this is seriously getting awkward here."

Francesca got closer to Desirae. "Oh, tell me you aren't thinking of making any moves on Ross," Francesca said.

Desirae set her food down on her plate, and got out of her chair, and stood up to Francesca. "Say what?" Desirae said.

Ross cowered upon seeing the two girls confront each other, and covered his face with his hands. "Oh... me nuh like where dis be goin'..." he said quietly to himself.

- J -

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ROSS: Dis whole encounter wit' de two oomon could cause lots of crosses, mon! Apparently I and I bein' wit' Desirae have made Franny-girl be vex. Da Rasta nuh like when oomon become vex!

- J -

"Oh, I know you want to be with him!" Francesca shouted to Desirae. "There are other guys on your team, so why don't you go after one of them, and leave him alone!"

Desirae raised her pointer finger and waved it in Francesca's face. "For your information, it ain't official yet!" Desirae cautioned Francesca. "But I can tell he like me more, right, hon'?" she said sweetly to Ross.

"Well... uh..." Ross stammered, struggling to come up with a response.

"He was on my team in the beginning, so he'd probably be more interested in me more!" Francesca shouted. She shouted so loud that it made everyone else at the mess hall uncomfortable, and most of them stopped eating.

"And if I remember, you fought with him a lot when he was on yo' team, am I right?" Desirae said, fluffing up her afro. "Well, I sho' didn't fight with him, so you can tell who he'd probably like more."

"Um..." Ross continued stammering.

Francesca went over to Ross. "Well?" Francesca shouted in Ross' face. "Choose a side! It's either her, or me! You're going to end up with one of us eventually! Oh, and don't choose the wrong woman, or you will regret it." And then Francesca went back to her table to resume eating. Ross didn't know what to make of this.

"Dang," Desirae said to Ashlynn. "What is that girl's problem?"

"I was on her team once," Ashlynn said. "I didn't think she'd be this cranky."

- J -

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ASHLYNN: Well, Francesca blew up at the mess hall today. But the good news is... she's quieter than Ward, so she's okay!

FRANCESCA: Just seeing Rasta with another girl... that just sickens me on a grand scale. What does Desirae have that I don't? I mean, sure, she's won dance competitions... but has she won any sports competitions? How many trophies does she have? I mean, I have won so many trophies, our house had to have an extra room built to store them all!

DESIRAE: Francesca's thinkin' she all high and mighty because of all those sports games she won... but I ain't seen her on the dance floor! When you have mastered the Funky Chicken and the Watusi, then you can talk to me. Right now, I believe Ross has made the right decision on who he wants to be with!

ROSS: Me nuh have made a decision yet! Dis be frustratin'... if me with Desirae, Franny-girl be vex... so me worry if me be with Franny-girl again, Desirae be vex! What can I and I do? Me nuh want to be forced into a position where me have to choose... but Rasta t'inkin' it be happenin' somehow.

- J -

Just then, Chris' voice boomed over the PA system. "The challenge is coming up soon! Everyone meet at the Dock of Shame, because to not do so could be considered illegal, like 'J'-walking!" Chris laughed at his own joke again, and everyone else, of course, wisely tuned him out.

- J -

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UNIQUE: I don't think he's even trying anymore, is he?

- J -

The seventeen contestants assembled at the Dock of Shame, on two colored mats (green for the nine Team Alpha members present, and red for the eight Team Beta members) and Chris was there to greet them. "Good, you all showed up," Chris said. "Everyone, I would like to reintroduce you to Blaine, now returning from Isolation Island!"

The Boat of Losers carried Blaine, dripping with water, back to the dock.

"OMG!" York shouted when she saw Blaine. "What happened?"

"Bad construction happened," Blaine replied. "I'm beginning to wonder whether that cabin was actually approved by the Canadian government."

"Okay, enough, Blaine, rejoin Team Beta so we can get this episode started already," Chris said. Blaine rejoined his eight teammates on the red mat.

"At this point, boys and girls, we have learned nine of the twenty-six letters of the alphabet!" Chris beamed. "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, and I! And now it's time to introduce yet another twist!" Chris held up a letter J. "J... is for Jumble! That's right! We're rearranging the teams yet again!"

"Oh goody, another team shuffle," Francesca replied, rolling her eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

- J -

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TALWEN: I bet everyone at home saw that twist coming a mile away!

- J -

"Here's how it will work," Chris said, while Chef wheeled in a cart containing two giant jars, one with a green label on it, and one with a red label on it. "J... is for Jars of Jellybeans! Each of these two jars contain jellybeans of different colors. The members of each team will stick their hands into each jar, and pull out jellybeans, in the hope that the jellybean you pull out matches the color of your team! If that happens, then you will be in charge of selecting your new teammates! Keep in mind that there is only one green jellybean in Team Alpha's jar, and only one red jellybean in Team Beta's! And don't stick your hand into the jars until I say the word 'go'!"

Just then, every single one of the contestants frantically placed their hands into the two jars.

"Wait! That wasn't what I meant!"

The campers grabbed handfuls of jellybeans, looking among them to see if they found the correctly-colored one. A lot of the contestants' searches turned up in vain.

However, someone on Team Alpha managed to find a green jellybean...

"Ha ha! Finders keepers, losers weepers!" York said, flaunting the green jellybean she found.

"And York is in charge for choosing the new Team Alpha!" Chris exclaimed. Several of the other Team Alpha members were mad.

- J -

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CONNOR: Okay, I'm starting to suspect that this season is definitely rigged for York. This was a scenario that we did not want to happen!

YORK: YES! I get to choose the team I want! I'm definitely going to choose a winning team, obviously! Everyone out there who was expecting me to be at the Bonfire Ceremony for the next few episodes... guess what? I'm not going to be there! Nah nah nah nah nah!

GARETH: When I found out that York was going to be the captain of our new team, I was all, "YES!" If she picks me, that proves she's in love with me!

- J -

The search for the red jellybean on Team Beta's side was still on. All nine team members were grabbing jellybeans like crazy, hoping that they would find the one jellybean that would give them power.

"Not there..." Ireland said, searching the jellybeans she found.

"Not here either, ese," Quillon said, looking through his.

Suddenly, the red jellybean had been found.

"Ah sey one!" Ross exclaimed, showing everyone the red jellybean he found.

"And Ross will be selecting the new Team Beta!" Chris announced.

"Aw, I was so close!" Blaine fumed.

- J -

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BLAINE: For all you people who said that this season was rigged for me... well... I'm starting to disbelieve that!

ROSS: Wow... me be in power. Dis be just like when de Rasta had to choose who be on his volleyball team back in elementary school. Me strategy is to be as fair as possible, so no one who gets left out feels left out, and there be none of de wicked juju that could befoul us all! Me hopin' dat dis nuh come back to bite de Rasta in da batty.

- J -

"Now, York and Ross," Chris explained. "Here's how it's going to work. Each of you will choose your teammates, starting with a teammate that is on the opposite team you are currently on, and alternating back and forth between your team and that team. Yeah, I bet this twist will definitely shake up the game and mess up all those alliances that everyone worked so hard to make!"

A lot of the contestants were nervous.

"York, since you were the first one to pick the correct jellybean, you get to pick first. Who from Team Beta do you want to be on your-"

"Blaine! Like, do you even need to ask me that?" York replied.

"Okay then, Blaine, join York on the green mat!" Chris said.

"Okay... I don't know why she would pick me, of all people, but I guess I'm game for anything!" Blaine replied, as he joined York on the green mat.

"We are going to spend lots of time together, sexy," York whispered to Blaine.

"That's what worries me..." Blaine replied.

- J -

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YORK: Yay! I get to be on a team with my new boyfriend! Oh, and if you even think of taking him from me, you will deal with my wrath! So back off!

BLAINE: And here I thought I was going to be one of the last people picked! I guess this season is rigged for me after all... even though it could be rigged for her as well.

- J -

"Ross, it's now your turn to deprive Team Alpha of one of its former teammates," Chris said to Ross.

"Hmm, this be a tough decision," Ross said, putting a hand to his goatee. "But me pick... Francesca!"

"Yay!" Francesca said, excited that she was picked. She then ran over to the red mat and hugged Ross. She also blew a raspberry at Desirae.

- J -

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DESIRAE: Oh, this ain't over yet, girl. Not by a longshot.

FRANCESCA: I guess me being away from Rasta these last two rounds has started to affect my drive... but now that I'm on his team again, I think I can slam dunk Team Alpha now!

- J -

"York, it's your turn again," Chris told York. "You now have to pick someone from Team Alpha."

"Well, since no one else is going to, I might as well pick Luna and get her out of the way," York said.

"Yaysies!" Luna said, really excited. She cartwheeled over to the green mat where York and Blaine were.

- J -

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LUNA: Thank you, Yorkie! You have no idea how happy my heart feels right now! It feels like it has just eaten a whole lot of ice cream! …Well, actually, I ate a whole lot of ice cream. But at least I shared with my heart, and she feels so happy!

YORK: Okay, you're probably wondering why I chose Luna, considering that she grates on my nerves like nonstop. It's simple. She will do whatever I tell her to do. If I want to vote someone off, she'll do it too. Or at least, she looks like the kind of person that could do that... unless she were to somehow backstab me when we get to a certain point in the game, but I don't think she's capable of pulling that off!

GARETH: She didn't pick me yet! But at least she picked Luna, who's... kinda friends with me. So it should be okay!

- J -

"Ross, the people from Team Beta want to be on your team, but you can only choose one of them for now," Chris told Ross.

"Me go with... Desirae!" Ross said, pointing to Desirae.

"Funkadelic!" Desirae said, as she danced over to Ross and Francesca on the red mat.

"Seriously?" Francesca said in shock. "Why her?"

- J -

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ROSS: Both those oomon be into de Rasta. So me t'ink that if both of dem are on me team, dem get what dem want. But dem look like dem want to claw at each other. Rasta nuh want a catfight on him team, so me hope to get teammates dat will diffuse any potential drama... though dat be what Chris want.

DESIRAE: Yeah, baby! I knew Ross had the hots for the soul sista! And with the invincibility idol I got yesterday, I know I ain't goin' nowhere. It looks like it's time for Francesca to step off, because Ross is mine! Go on, Francesca, go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore!

FRANCESCA: So Rasta chose her. But still, he chose me first, so I'm still happy about that. And if we have to go to the Bonfire Ceremony, I know who I'm voting off!

- J -

"York, time to take someone away from Team Beta again," Chris said to York.

"Well, our team needs some muscle, like, badly, so Ward's in!" York said.

"YEEEEAH!" Ward shouted, as he ran over to the green mat to join his three teammates, and hugged York almost tightly.

"Urrgh!" York said, trying to break free from Ward's grasp. "Can't breathe!"

"Oops..." Ward said, letting go of Ward. "Sorry!"

- J -

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WARD: Wow, I can't believe I'm now on Team Alpha this time! I mean, almost my entire time in the game, I've been on Team Beta! This is just like having to enter a different fraternity... but with a lot less Greek letters to keep track of! Which is nice for me... since I know almost nothing about the Greek alphabet... other than one of the letters looks like kind of a triangle. Forgot its name, though... what do they call it again?

- J -

"Ross, you're choosing someone from Team Alpha, brah," Chris told Ross.

"Well, since York chose some muscle, me choose some too! Zakeri be on us team!" Ross said.

Zakeri got up from meditation, and bowed to Ross at the red mat. "I see you have chosen wisely!" Zakeri smiled at Ross.

- J -

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ZAKERI: Leave it to Chris McClean to disrupt everyone's body clocks and chi patterns with his twists! This is going to be one of those games where I will have to train like I've never trained before! I hope to not be completely drained of energy by the time this game is over...

- J -

"York, who from your old Team Alpha is staying on Team Alpha?" Chris told York.

"Well, we're probably gonna run into some mental challenges as well, so Hektor's in," York said.

"Tai hao la!" Hektor said excitedly, and joined the other four new Team Alpha members on the green mat.

"The bros are back!" Ward said, as he and Hektor fistbumped.

- J -

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HEKTOR: You have no idea how exciting it was teaming up with Ward again! We compliment each other well, and make a great alliance! I am the brains, and he is the brawn! Plus, he's the only person out here I can trust to cheat off my homework! ...Sorry, ba-ba.

WARD: All right! Hektor's back on my team! Bros to the end! YEEEEEEAH!

- J -

"Ross, who gets a chance to stay on Team Beta?" Chris told Ross.

"Well, us know her lost she boyfriend last time, so me put Ireland on me team to make up for it," Ross said.

Ireland ran over to Ross on the red mat and hugged her. "Thank you so much for saving me!"

- J -

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IRELAND: Rasta and I really bonded since we first ended up on a team together... he seems to like nature, like I do, obviously... so naturally, I would guess that we would gel. And hey... I guess it beats not being picked at all!

QUILLON: You know, I thought he was going to pick his old vato from Day 1, but... whatever. I can wait as long as I want.

TALWEN: There are some times when being under-the-radar is a good thing, and some times when it's bad. And I worry that this is one of those times when it's bad! I felt worried... what if I ended up being one of the last people picked? When I try to show them what I have, I end up getting kicked? ...Hey, you know what? That's not a bad idea for a poem...

- J -

"York, who from Team Beta will join your team?" Chris said. "You can choose from Ashlynn, Odessa, Quillon, and Talwen."

York studied the four Team Beta members over.

Blaine whispered in York's ear, "Pick Ashlynn."

"I think I'm gonna pick Ashlynn," York said.

"Um, okay... what could go wrong?" Ashlynn said, as she stepped onto the green mat.

"All right, Ashlynn's here!" Ward shouted. "YEEEEEEAHHH!"

"Um... are you sure it's not too late to change your mind?" Ashlynn cowered.

- J -

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YORK: Whatever my boyfriend wants... my boyfriend gets!

ASHLYNN: OMG... I know I'm returning to Team Alpha... but I didn't expect to be returning to Team Alpha with The Screaming Machine on my team! Yep, York is definitely the villainess this season, no doubt about that. [rolls eyes]

ODESSA: It can get really tense when people other than you have been picked. You could just hear the beating of my heart... since I myself can't, for obvious reasons!

- J -

"Now, Ross, choose from Connor, Gareth, Payson, and Unique. Who from Team Alpha will be on your team next?"

Ross studied the four Team Alpha members over. "Me nuh know who to pick!"

"Wait!" Unique said. "Let me make this easier for you!" Unique turned on the charm, and tried seducing Ross, in a pose that attempted to lure him over to her side.

"Come on, Rasta! Don't let me down, man!" Payson said to Ross.

Ross was still contemplating the choices... but eventually he came to a decision.

"Rasta has decided!" Ross said. "Me buddy Payson be on me team!"

"Booyah!" Payson said, and gave Ross a high-five on the red mat. Unique was feeling dejected.

- J -

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UNIQUE: I can't believe it... Ross actually turned down my charms. Have I... have I actually lost my mojo?

PAYSON: Well, what do you know! I'm back on Team Beta again! But it looks kinda... differentthan the last time I was on it. But yeah, I'm part of a team my boy Skyler will be proud of! Peace!

- J -

Connor, Gareth, and Unique were still waiting to be picked. All three of them were desperate to be on a team... Gareth in particular.

"Please pick me," Gareth begged. "Please pick me, please pick me, please pick me..."

"Now, York, normally I'd be telling you to choose your next teammate..." Chris told York.

"Please pick me, please pick me, please pick me..."

- J -

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GARETH: I was thinking that at that point, she would have no choice but to pick me now!

CONNOR: It's because I already have at least one million dollars that the two captains were this apprehensive to choose me. I regret not bringing one penny of it with me, because then I'd have had something to bribe the two of them with!

UNIQUE: Oh well, if my charms couldn't convince a hot guy to pick me, hopefully they'd work on a hot girl! Believe it or not... I am that desperate!

- J -

"But..." Chris continued. "Here's another twist! J... is for Junk Day! That's right! I figured it was time for both teams to throw away some of their trash a little earlier than expected! Teams Alpha and Beta are going to have six people from now on, which means that there's no more room for you, Connor, Gareth, or Unique!"

The three former Team Alpha members were crestfallen.

"What?" Gareth cried. "You mean... I'm not going to be picked?"

"Fraid so," Chris replied. "Didn'tcha listen?"

- J -

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GARETH: I have the most rotten luck when it comes to twists like this!

UNIQUE: Oh no... this can't be right. I did not put all this effort into my seduction techniques to be eliminated this early!

CONNOR: When a teenager who has a million dollars goes up against a middle-aged man who has much more money than that... I think I know who will win every time, sadly!

- J -

"And you know what else that means?" Chris sneered menacingly. "It means that Quillon, Talwen, and Odessa are not going to be on those teams either! J is for... Just ain't enough room anymore!"

The three former Team Beta members were horrified by this shocking development.

- J -

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QUILLON: I knew it! Chris is a mean hombre! Only gangs like the Tarturus Locos would approve of his mucho mal twists! Oh well, so much for me representin'...

ODESSA: Chris' lips were the lips I did not want to read... he is getting rid of the six of us this early? This just isn't fair...

TALWEN: The two new teams have six members now, and there were six of us being eliminated just now... this had better mean what I think it should mean... otherwise, well... remember when Courtney filed a lawsuit against Chris McClean back in season 2? Imagine that times six.

- J -

"Oh well, since neither Team Alpha nor Team Beta wanted these six people on their team, for some reason, they're going to take a trip on the Boat of Losers!" Chris exclaimed. Chef pushed Gareth, Unique, Quillon, Odessa, Talwen and Connor onto the Boat of Losers rather rudely.

"Hey!" Unique complained. "J is for Jerks!"

As soon as the six contestants were on the Boat of Losers, it departed from the Dock of Shame. The remaining twelve contestants waved goodbye to them.

"Bye, Talwen!" Ward shouted. "I'm gonna miss you! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME?" Ward's loud cries caused Ashlynn to cover her ears.

"So long, Unique!" Hektor shouted. "I won't forget you!"

"And neither will I!" Zakeri shouted.

"Quillon! Odessa! Me will win this for you!" Ross shouted.

- J -

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IRELAND: It was definitely a mean thing for Chris to do, taking six of our dear friends away from us like that. I will be planting lots of trees in their honor... maybe in front of his house, if I can find it!

ROSS: Mon, that rude-bwoy Chris just loves to rile up da Rasta! A limbo party will nuh be held for he any time soon! Oh hoh... it be for our six recently-fallen friends instead!

YORK: All I have to say is... GOOD RIDDANCE. At least it was a good thing for me, since it prevented me from being forced to add dead weight to my team. I'm going to like winning these challenges now! And my new boyfriend will give me all the motivation I need!

BLAINE: One minute, I'm in the worst cabin in existence. The next, I'm immediately in the top twelve. And I have a girlfriend now, apparently. Even my sister doesn't know what emotion she should feel for me anymore... and I like that!

- J -

"And now, if you're done saying goodbye to people you didn't think of including on your team," Chris said to the remaining twelve campers, "we can start the challenge."

"Yes, us better," Ross said. "Maybe it can help clear our mind of what be happenin' just now."

"I kinda doubt it," Chris said. "But let's start anyway."

- J -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

A giant jungle gym had been constructed in the challenge field. It resembled the jungle gym you would find on a school playground, with plenty of obstacles that you would normally find on there... ropes to climb on, ladders to climb on, slides to slide down, tires to either walk through or climb on top off, and bridges to cross. There were also colored bags that you would assume contained something in them. The twelve campers assembled in front of the massive structure and took awe at its majesty.

- J -

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FRANCESCA: We have been going back to elementary school a lot this season! I see there's this freakishly huge jungle gym which is a lot bigger than the one I have back at my own elementary school... or the one I have in my backyard. I was always on the jungle gym at recess, and I bet that all that time on there will really come in handy!

- J -

"Campers," Chris said as he explained the challenge. "J... is for Jigsaw Jungle Gym! The structure in front of you is a jungle gym."

"We know that, Einstein," Ashlynn said. "Now what is the challenge?"

"I'm getting to that," Chris continued. "Each team will be sending one of its members out onto the jungle gym to retrieve a bag of jigsaw puzzle pieces that's somewhere in there. They can grab whichever bag they think they can grab... and they will have to be crossing bridges and climbing ropes and stuff to get to the bags. Once you get a bag, take it to your puzzle station, and then you'll need to send a different team member out to retrieve another one. There are six bags you need to find, one for each member of your team! Once you've found all six bags, open all of them, and take out the jigsaw puzzle pieces inside, and then assemble them to form a picture of something beginning with J, obviously. If you can assemble your puzzle pieces faster than the other team, you've won invincibilty!"

"Oh yeah, a challenge where you have to collect bags of puzzle pieces," Francesca replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "The most original challenge of any reality series!"

"I know!" Chris beamed. "Isn't it just the best?"

"Wait a minute..." Zakeri observed, looking at what he thought was a set of three colored bags grouped together. "There's a green bag, and a red bag, and a purple bag... that's three bags. I thought it was just two teams competing from now on."

"Yeah, somethin's really funky here!" Desirae said.

"You're going to love this part!" Chris said smiling. "J... is for Joined! And as you may, or may not, have guessed... you will be joined by a third team!"

"Say what?" Desirae shouted.

- J -

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YORK: I thought I was going to enjoy my easy ride to the top twelve... but then, theyhad to show up and ruin it for me!

ZAKERI: My hunch turned out to be correct. Chris couldn't just drop the cast size from eighteen of us to twelve for no reason at all!

- J -

Alyssa showed up, with her notepad in hand, to meet Chris and the twelve contestants. "They're here!" Alyssa said to Chris.

"Who be here?" Ross asked. "Be they former contestants?"

"You could say that," Chris smirked.

"Come on out, everyone!" Alyssa shouted to the six people in waiting.

"Oh no..." York said in shock.

"Oh yes!" Unique said, as she emerged from the nearby forest. She, Odessa, Talwen, Connor, Quillon and Gareth joined the other twelve contestants.

"Campers," Chris announced. "Team Omega is back!"

"And better than ever, ese!" Quillon boasted.

"This new Team Omega is composed of the six people you thought you would be rid of once and for all. Aren't you sorry you didn't include them on your teams when you had the chance?" Chris taunted Teams Alpha and Beta.

"Oh, put a sock in it," York scowled.

- J -

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YORK: Why me? Why is it always me? But then again, I have a new team now! I will make sure one of them goes back to the Boat of Losers tonight, and this time doesn't come back! Because hey, I know all six of those has-beens are going before any of us.

QUILLON: Yeah, I know, I'm surprised to be on Team Omega too... all this time, we have been told that Team Omega was "the loser team". Well, maybe it was the loser team because I haven't been on it at all... at the risk of bragging. And yeah, I still think "Team Omega" is a pretty chido team name. The last letter of the Greek alphabet is always the coolest!

UNIQUE: My powers of seduction have not failed me yet! I was able to get my way... apparently. Now let's do this!

- J -

"I hope we didn't miss anything," Talwen smiled.

"Big deal," York said. "It's just one of those lame bags of puzzle pieces challenges."

"Hey!" Luna shouted. "Challenges with puzzle pieces are not lame!"

"Anyway, Team Alpha, you still have the Helping Hand medallion, and you can use it to gain an advantage over the other teams, if you wish," Chris reminded.

"An advantage is tempting," York said, clutching the Helping Hand medallion tightly. "I mean, Team Alpha already has like some of the strongest and smartest team members on it now, and using this medallion would just be overkill. So I say we go for it!"

York handed the Helping Hand medallion to Chris. The members of Teams Beta and Omega were shocked.

- J -

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ASHLYNN: I don't know why York had to use the medallion now. I mean, I'm good at puzzle solving... so is Hektor! I assume Luna and Ward are good at obstacle courses... but, hey. An advantage is an advantage! It would be nice if the advantage was, "Team Alpha, you have automatically won invincibility for the next three challenges in a row!" And of course, it's something else entirely...

- J -

"Team Alpha, since you have turned in your medallion, you get the upper hand in this challenge!" Chris said. "You can send up to two of your teammates at a time to retrieve bags of puzzle pieces instead of just one! The other two teams will have to settle for just the one!"

The six members of Team Alpha were smiling when they heard the good news.

- J -

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WARD: This advantage is like so awesome! It's like when your team has two star athletes and you couldn't choose which one to draft first since you like both of them so much... now you can send both out and not feel guilty! We are going to tackle the other two teams! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!

QUILLON: Yeah, that's right, Team Alpha. Go ahead and gang up on us, like the cowards you are. We will catch up to you, no doubt about that!

- J -

"And since you used the Helping Hand medallion," Chris continued. "It will now be given to-"

"No one?" York interrupted. "Because it's finally done and over with?"

"No," Chris stated. "It will be given to Team Omega!" Chris threw the Helping Hand medallion to Team Omega, and Quillon caught it.

"Back in our hands again!" Quillon exclaimed, as he rubbed the medallion.

"Why them?" York complained.

"Eh, I haven't seen that team have that medallion yet, so I figured... why not them!" Chris said nonchalantly.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you..." York fumed.

"Yes, I am," Chris exclaimed. "Now I'll give you a moment to strategize, and we can begin!"

- J -

The eighteen campers were standing at their puzzle stations. Four of them were anxiously awaiting to get out onto the course. For Team Alpha, it was Ward and Blaine. For Team Beta, it was Francesca. And for Team Omega, it was Quillon.

"Remember, you're looking for the bags with your team's colors on them!" Chris shouted.

"Don't you think we know that already?" Blaine shouted. "Get on with it!"

"Sheesh, whatever you say, man," Chris said. "Anyway... GO!"

The four campers raced towards the jungle gym, heading off in different directions. Ward and Quillon were clearly heading toward the same group of bags of puzzle pieces as they ran across a wooden bridge, and climbed a rope wall to reach them. Quillon quickly scaled the rope wall with lightning speed, with Ward close behind him. Ward growled, and started shaking the rope wall with fury, trying to knock him down.

- J -

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WARD: Yeah, I know Quillon's my former teammate, but now that he's not on my team anymore, I don't feel guilty about doing that to him! Though... I do feel a bit guilty about doing that to him...

QUILLON: Ay chihuahua! Amigo, are you tryin' to cause an earthquake here? Sheesh, I know your team has the advantage with two of your guys on the course, but you're really overdoin' it here, man.

- J -

Despite Ward trying to shake Quillon off, Quillon reached the top first, and grabs the purple bag. He then raced toward the slide at the end, and then slid down with bag in hand. "And Quillon scores for Team Omega!" Chris shouted, as Quillon raced toward his Team Omega members at the puzzle station. Odessa gave him a high-five.

"I'm going next!" Odessa said to Quillon.

"You do know Ward is still on the course, right?" Quillon told Odessa.

However, at that point, Ward had gotten to the top of his area, and retrieved the green bag. "WOOOOOOOOO!" Ward shouted, as he slid down the slide, holding the bag.

"Guess I spoke too soon," Quillon said to Odessa.

- J -

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QUILLON: So, let Team Alpha send all their vatos out. When they end up getting all their bags, they won't be on the course any more, so with just Team Beta left to take care of, it'll be a cakewalk for the rest of us, man!

- J -

Blaine and Francesca, however, were heading toward a different route. Both of them were scaling a slope of tires. Francesca had just edged out Blaine, who was struggling a bit with the tires.

"Ha!" Francesca said, as she tore ahead, grabbing onto the edge of another tire. "I'm not going to lose this time!"

"And Ward has brought back a bag for Team Alpha!" Chris' voice shouted, in a voice loud enough for Francesca and Blaine to hear.

"You were saying?" Blaine smirked at Francesca. Francesca ignored him and just continued climbing.

"You can do it, Blaine!" York shouted, as she ran onto the course. "Woooooo!" Francesca tried to block the loud cheering out of her ears.

- J -

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FRANCESCA: What is worse than York not being able to hide her evil attitude? York not being able to hide her love for Blaine!

- J -

Suddenly, York noticed Odessa was running onto the course. Odessa was climbing onto the monkey bars... and York ran over to her, and positioned herself so she was standing underneath her! York jumped up and grabbed onto Odessa's legs!

"Ow!" Odessa said. "Let go of me!"

- J -

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ODESSA: That woman clearly does not play fair! I hope she doesn't make it as far as Heather did! And luckily I wasn't that high up... otherwise I would've ended up in a wheelchair by the end of the episode!

YORK: Team Omega already grabbed an early bag. I wasn't going to just let them grab another!

- J -

While York and Odessa were dealing with each other, Francesca made it to the top of the tire slope, near another set of three bags. She grabbed the red bag and slid down the slide nearby. Blaine finally made it to the top, grabbed the green bag, and slid shortly after.

"Francesca scores for Team Beta!" Chris shouted, as Francesca returned to Team Beta with the red bag. "It's all even at one each... and who will be the first to make it two?"

"Team Alpha... duh!" Francesca remarked under her breath. She then high-fived Ross. "Let's do this, Rasta... and hopefully avoid last place!" she said.

"We can still be jammin'! Ross said.

"And here's something to make sure we stay ahead of Team Omega," Francesca said, as she kissed Ross... in front of the other Team Beta members... including Desirae!

"Um, me t'ink it be I turn next," Ross said.

"Yeah, almost forgot about that," Francesca said nervously. Then Ross headed onto the course.

- J -

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PAYSON: Daaaang! What did I just see?

FRANCESCA: That kiss with Rasta... it felt so good! And who cares if we're probably not going to be the first... it'll give me the motivation to make at least second place!

ROSS: Franny-girl really leapt into it quicker than a tree frog be leapin' into a field of sugarcane! And I and I liked dat.

DESIRAE: So Francesca think she can kiss my man? Hmph! Two can play at this game, suckah!

- J -

Blaine returned to Team Alpha with his green bag. "And Team Alpha is the first with two bags, thanks to Blaine!" Chris' voice announced. "Everyone is still in this!"

"Yeah, and by the time they get all six, we'll have finished the puzzle already!" Blaine said, as he tagged Luna. "You know what to do, right?"

"Duh, of course Monkey Girl knows what she's doing, human!" Luna said to Blaine, while "ook"ing at him. "I mean, this is a jungle gym, we primates have like the upper hand here!" She then went onto the course.

- J -

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BLAINE: And Luna turned back into Monkey Girl today. You know, I thought I'd never see that side of her again... ...but then again, Luna can do whatever she wants. I mean, it's not like our team's going to lose this challenge!

LUNA: If Chris can bring back Team Omega, he might as well bring back Monkey Girl, patron deity of all ape life! And who knows? If he brings back those cool little voting devices from Season 2 in the same episode, it'll be a hat trick! [She pounds her chest.]

- J -

Odessa decided to climb onto the monkey bars again. This time, York had decided not to follow her. She went somewhere else...

Odessa, relieved that York didn't try to stop her this time, took advantage of this, by grabbing onto monkey bar after monkey bar... until she reached the area with the bags of puzzle pieces on the other side. She was about to grab the purple bag when...

"Stop what you're doing, human! Monkey Girl commands it!" Luna shouted, grabbing onto the monkey bars like, well, a monkey. But because Odessa was deaf, Luna's words were not heard. Odessa picked up the purple bag anyway, and Luna climbed on top of the monkey bars, and jumped from bar to bar! Just as Odessa was about to take the purple bag back down the slide, Luna grabbed the green bag, and all Odessa could do was watch as Luna zoomed down the slide!

"This is what happens when you don't listen to Monkey Girl!" Luna laughed. Odessa just shrugged her shoulders, and slid down, carrying the purple bag with her.

- J -

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ODESSA: Um, was there any point to this? Like... for anything?

LUNA: I can tell that these lower life forms have failed yet again to comprehend my simian prowess. But I have acquired a collection of what the humans call "puzzle pieces", and our team is halfway done with the task! When we celebrate our victory, there will be bananas all around! Yayz!

- J -

Ross had found another set of three bags in a small alcove. There were some large hanging tires that he needed to crawl through to reach them. As soon as he went over to the tires, York ran in front of him and blocked the entrance.

"Hold it!" York said to Ross.

"Rhaatid! Oomon, what be you doin'?" Ross responded in shock.

"I saw you kiss another woman, so now you've gotta kiss me! Come here and give me some of your Jamaican sugar!" York smiled, and grabbed hold of Ross tightly before he could do anything... and kissed him on the lips for like about a full minute!

- J -

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ROSS: York? That oomon be sneakier than Anancy the spider! But in de stories, Anancy was a hero... me nuh sure if dat same label apply to her, though.

YORK: Um, hello? I'm not in love with dreadlock-head, okay? I'm crushing on Blaine, remember? And besides, there are plenty of girls on his team that will still make out with him later... and will probably claw each other out for his affection, and while they're doing that, they're leaving sweet little ol' me alone! Rrowr!

- J -

"Monkey Girl has brought an offering!" Luna shouted, as she carried the third green bag over to Team Alpha's puzzle station.

"Tai hao la!" Hektor exclaimed. "We're halfway there!"

"I'm going next!" Ashlynn said, as Luna tagged her. "Man, this is so exciting!"

- J -

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ASHLYNN: This scenario has "easy win" written all over it! Yeah, I know York is messing with the other two teams... I can tell. I've seen her sabotage both Odessa and Ross. But hey, I'm glad they're not pinnin' the blame on me!

- J -

Odessa returned to Team Omega's puzzle station with her purple bag. "It took longer than expected, but we got another bag!" Odessa exclaimed.

"Well, we're getting there," Talwen replied.

"Tag me," Connor said confidently. "I think I can get a third."

Odessa tagged Connor. "I hope you know what you're doing!" Odessa said.

- J -

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CONNOR: For a jungle gym this big, there are only so many places to put bags of puzzle pieces. But maybe it's a good thing for our team that there are still some purple bags left, since Team Alpha will have trouble looking for the remaining green bags, I assume... York's strategy is going to backfire on her eventually... I know it!

- J -

Yep, York was still kissing Ross full on the lips. But then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Connor heading toward the wall of tires.

"Um... I think I may have forgotten something over there. Be right back, okay!" York stammered nervously, as she let go of Ross, and ran over to where Connor was. Ross, relieved that York didn't distract him anymore, crawled through the tires as if nothing happened. He was able to get to the red bag of puzzle pieces on the other side of the tires without further incident.

- J -

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ROSS: Mon, me know there be no bag for York up there. Me bet her came over dere so her can stop Connor! But if it mean rudy-girl leave our team alone for a while, me will gladly take it!

- J -

Ashlynn was looking around at all the ropes and tires, trying to find a route that hadn't been covered yet. She crossed a bridge that led to a series of hanging ropes. She grabbed one rope, and held on tight, swinging toward the next rope in sequence and grabbing onto that. And she was relieved that no one from the other teams was going after her!

She made it from rope to rope without ever falling off, and reached another set of bags at the ledge she swung to. She grabbed a green bag immediately.

"Yes!" Ashlynn said to herself. "And since I didn't fall off, there's no Chris telling me I'm having a 'blond moment'! Yeah!"

"WOOHOO!" Ward's voice shouted. "GO, ASHLYNN!"

"Well, at least his voice is far away this time," Ashlynn said, as she went down the slide with the bag.

- J -

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ASHLYNN: And no, Chris, I did not leave the bag behind like Lindsay would have! You wanted a dumb blond? Well, you've got a smart blond, so deal with it!

- J -

The members of Team Beta greeted Ross as he returned with the second red bag for his team.

"Ev'ryone, dis could take longer than me thought," Ross said, as he placed his red bag next to the other.

"Well, here's something that might speed things up, sug'," Desirae said, and before Ross could do anything, Desirae grabbed a hold of him, and kissed him in front of the other four Team Beta members... including Francesca!

"By the way, I'm next, y'all!" Desirae said sweetly, as she ran onto the course. The other members of the team just stood there in shock.

- J -

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ZAKERI: This makes my making out with Unique last time seem like a thing of the past!

ROSS: What be with all these oomon wanting to kiss de Rasta? Not dat dat be a bad t'ing but wooo... Rasta's trapped in a love polygon he nuh seem to get out of!

DESIRAE: If this kiss don't secure our love, nothin' will, y'all!

FRANCESCA: How dare she! I don't think she even knows where his lips have been!

- J -

Connor was trying to scale the wall of tires, when York went over to him.

"Um, by the way, if you're looking for a bag of puzzle pieces here, someone else took it," Connor said to York.

"I know," York smiled evilly. "But that's not what I'm looking for." She then approached the underside of the wall of tires, and shook the tires as hard as she could, trying to shake Connor off! Connor could feel the vibration of the rapidly-shaking tire wall!

- J -

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CONNOR: I'm starting to notice a pattern... she went after Odessa from Team Omega, then she went after Ross from Team Beta, and now she's going after me, also from Team Omega. It was at this point that I was hoping Team Beta would send someone out so York would go after that person instead of me! And if you thought shaking me for money would work, York, then sorry... this piggy bank's empty today!

- J -

York was still shaking the wall of tires, when she noticed Desirae heading for the rope wall. It was then that York stopped shaking the tire wall.

"Phew," Connor said. "Thank you for saving me... which could be a first."

"Ha ha, very funny," York said sarcastically, and then ran toward Desirae. Connor continued climbing toward the purple bag as if York never interrupted his progress.

- J -

"Woo! Welcome back, Ashlynn! YEEEEEAH!" Ward shouted, as Ashlynn provided Team Alpha with their fourth bag of puzzle pieces.

"Yeah, I'm right here, you know," Ashlynn replied.

"Okay, it's just me and York left," Hektor stated. "So that means I'm going." Hektor headed toward the course.

"You can do it, bro! WOOOOOOOO!" Ward screamed loudly, causing Ashlynn to cup both of her hands over her ears.

- J -

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ASHLYNN: I'm hoping that a nice pair of noise-free headphones are the reward for this challenge... though it'll probably be something beginning with J, given the episode's theme. And if the reward ends up being a jackhammer, I'm outta here!

- J -

Desirae was just grabbing onto the first section of the rope wall, when she felt a hand grab onto her leg, and pull her down.

"Going somewhere?" York smiled evilly, as she dragged Desirae off the rope wall.

"You let go of my legs, girl," Desirae protested.

- J -

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DESIRAE: Okay, this needed to be settled once and for all. I'ma make sure York don't do all that crazy funk no mo'.

- J -

"Three down, three more to go!" Connor exclaimed, as he provided the third bag of puzzle pieces for his team.

"Wait, let me go next!" Unique said. "I think I can catch up to Team Alpha!"

"I say we let her do it," Talwen said.

"Good for me, ese," Quillon replied. "We need this win badly!"

"Yay!" Unique said excitedly. "I won't let you guys down!" Unique ran onto the course.

- J -

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TALWEN: When Unique was next, I was hoping she didn't run into York, because whenever anyone's around her, it's like they're trapped in a pit of quicksand with no means of escape. Amazingly enough, she didn't go in that direction... and I don't blame her one bit!

- J -

Desirae broke free from York's grasp, and attempted the rope wall again. York once again tried to grab onto her leg, but her grip slipped, and Desirae climbed higher and higher, too high up for York to catch up to her.

"Oh, is that your strategy for winnin' challenges?" Desirae taunted York. "It don't seem to be workin'!" York fumed while Desirae grabbed the red bag at the top, and slid down the nearby slide with it.

- J -

Hektor went toward the tires that Ross crawled through earlier. Unique was also there, and she went after him.

"Oh, hi, Unique," Hektor said when he saw Unique.

"Hey there, Hektor," Unique said flirtily. "Long time, no see."

- J -

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HEKTOR: Um, Unique, it's only been a day. Aiyaah, that girl can be so dramatic!

UNIQUE: Who said that my strategy was to go after York? My strategy is to make York change her strategy!

- J -

"We got another bag, y'all!" Desirae exclaimed, as she returned with her bag for Team Beta.

"Yeah, and I worry those other teams could beat us now," Ireland said.

"I'm goin' on the course, yo!" Payson insisted. Desirae tagged him. "Play that funky music, white boy!" Desirae said to Payson.

- J -

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PAYSON: What the heck is that girl sayin', yo? Is she even from this time period?

- J -

"Okay, it's nice meeting each other again, yadda yadda yadda," Hektor said to Unique. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to grab a bag of puzzle pieces for my team."

"What a coincidence," Unique said, grabbing onto Hektor's arm. "I was going after one here as well!"

"Really?" Hektor said.

"Tell you what..." Unique said to Hektor. "If you help me get my bag first, I will let you get yours, and then we can both try to beat Team Beta. How does that sound?"

Hektor was stunned by this. "Okay, it's a deal!" Hektor shook Unique's hand.

- J -

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HEKTOR: We may be on different teams now, but I feel I can still trust Unique. And it's not just because she has a nice body... though that is probably the main reason! It's just that she got such a raw deal with this new twist, so how can I not help her?

UNIQUE: And York's strategy comes crumbling down in 5... 4...

- J -

Unique went through the tire crawl rather slowly... really slowly... and seductively. Hektor just stood there and stared at her behind, while his eyes turned to heart signs.

Meanwhile, York took notice of this, and fumed angrily to herself.

- J -

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YORK: What the heck was I thinking, putting this guy on my team? Urgh! Do I have to do everything myself?

- J -

Payson was heading toward the rope swing, and York said to him, "Okay, you know what, rapper boy? You win! You can do your part of the course, but it's not like your team will win first place anyway." Payson was stunned, while York ran off to look for the final bag of puzzle pieces for her team.

- J -

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PAYSON: I don't know what happened, but someone just whipped her good! This bag's gonna be easy-peasy, yo!

- J -

Unique retrieved the purple bag that was on the other side of the tires, and after Hektor crawled through the tires after her, he took the green bag. They both slid down the same slide together. After they both landed, they turned and faced each other.

"We'll still be allies when the merge comes, right?" Hektor whispered to Unique.

"You have my word," Unique whispered back, blowing Hektor a kiss. Hektor could barely contain his excitement, and swooned while Unique carried her bag to Team Omega's puzzle station.

- J -

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HEKTOR: The merge shouldn't be too long away. I have the Invincibility Idol to guarantee I make it that far, but I don't know whether Unique has one yet. That's what worries me...

UNIQUE: If they had Invincibility Idols for Teams Alpha and Beta, there's gotta be one for Team Omega, too! I've gotta look for something purple that anyone could easily notice... and I'm not talking about a piece of Chef's underwear!

CHEF: How did them punk kids know I have purple drawers? Did they stick out again? Next time, I'm buyin' bigger clothes... if Chris don't want me to spend some of the budget on that, then too bad... I'm buyin' 'em anyway!

- J -

"Another bag has arrived!" Unique announced, as she showed the rest of Team Omega the bag she found.

"We're catching up a bit!" Odessa cheered.

"Tag me!" Talwen said to Unique. "Maybe there's an obstacle York will whiff at!"

- J -

York approached the only obstacle that none of the contestants have encountered yet... a set of hanging rings. York rubbed her hands together in confidence.

- J -

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YORK: Rings? Please. Back in elementary school, I used to hang from these rings a lot when I was on the jungle gym! Ah, those were the days. Recess was my favorite subject ever! It'll take more than rings to stop me!

- J -

York grabbed onto the lowest ring. She reached out with her other arm, and grabbed onto the next ring in sequence, getting higher and higher. She grabbed on as tight as she could to avoid falling (though there was a safety net below). She made it to the other end where the last three bags of puzzle pieces beckoned.

"And Team Alpha has won invincibility!" York said to herself as she snagged the green bag. "Heh... my Chris McClean imitation is so spot on!"

- J -

"Make way!" Hektor shouted, as he brought the fifth green bag to Team Alpha's puzzle station.

"And now, we wait for the Wicked Witch of the West to show up with the last one," Ashlynn said.

"Why wait? Monkey Girl wants to solve the puzzle now!" Luna shouted.

- J -

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LUNA: These fingers aren't just for peeling bananas... trust me, humans! You will get to see them in action later on!

- J -

Payson was at the rope swing, and he grabbed onto the rope, and swang to the next one without problems. "Heh... I knew I considered myself a swinger, but now I am one... literally!" he said to himself. He was able to make it to the ledge, where he grabbed the red bag.

Just as he was about to take it down the slide with him, he noticed Talwen was right behind him! She was miraculously able to swing from one rope to the other faster than Payson could!

"How did you..." Payson said while stunned.

"I watch a lot of Tarzan movies in my spare time," Talwen replied, as she took the purple bag, and they both went down the slide together.

- J -

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TALWEN: I also do a lot of jigsaw puzzles in my spare time... so I don't care if Team Alpha has all six bags at this point. Puzzles are usually the equalizers in these types of challenges, so you can put the pieces together... no pun intended.

- J -

"Yeah, I know you were all looking forward to going on the jungle gym again, but it's not gonna happen..." York said to the other Team Alpha members. "Because I've got the last bag of puzzle pieces!" She showed the last green bag to the team.

"YEAH!" Ward shouted.

"Let's open them right now!" Luna shouted.

"Team Alpha, good for you, you've found all six bags! Now solve the jigsaw puzzle... it'd be really sweet if you solved it before the other two teams got their pieces, so why not rub some salt in their wounds while you're at it!" Chris' voice announced.

- J -

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LUNA: Aw, but I didn't bring any salt with me! I knewI should've taken some from the mess hall before we did the challenge!

- J -

"What? Team Alpha beat us?" Payson said in shock, just as he returned to his puzzle station with his red bag.

"That does it," Zakeri said. "Please tag me. I think I can catch up." Payson tagged Zakeri, and the martial arts expert ran like crazy toward the course. Desirae looked at Zakeri's shirtless physique while he ran off.

"You girls sho' is right," Desirae said. "The boy is hot."

- J -

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DESIRAE: But I don't know whether he hot enough to keep me away from my Rasta!

- J -

"And now it looks like it's just Gareth left," Talwen said, as she brought the fifth bag for her team back to the puzzle station.

"Looks like we're saving the best for last!" Gareth said confidently, as he raised his fists in the air excitedly. "Let me at the jungle gym! I can take it!" Gareth ran as fast as he could toward the course, but didn't look where he was going, and dashed into a wall.

- J -

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QUILLON: I guess I'm startin' to see why neither of the other two teams picked him, ese. But still, we're countin' on him, even if they couldn't...

- J -

The six Team Alpha members tore open their green bags.

"And now we have to solve a difficult and challenging puzzle using oversized puzzle pieces!" York said mockingly. "This isn't going to be a challenge that just anyone can win!"

She then looked at the puzzle pieces that were in the bag. Each bag had fifty puzzle pieces inside, and they were the shape, and size, of what you'd expect a traditional puzzle piece to be.

"How many puzzle pieces do we even have here?" Blaine asked.

"I counted fifty in my bag," Hektor said. "And fifty times six is three hundred, so assuming each bag has the same amount, we have three hundred puzzle pieces."

"Three hundred?!" Ashlynn protested. "This is insane!"

"Insane?!" Luna said. "THIS... IS... SPARTA!"

The other Team Alpha members turned and stared at her.

- J -

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LUNA: I mean, they said "three hundred", so I couldn't resist saying that! Hee hee!

BLAINE: Expect that joke to fly over your head twenty years from now, people!

YORK: Three hundred freaking puzzle pieces? This challenge is going to take like forever!

- J -

Zakeri blazed across the monkey bars as he headed toward one of the last two red bags. "Okay, in retrospect, maybe I should've been one of the first ones to do the challenge," he said to himself, as he picked up the bag.

- J -

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ZAKERI: I assume Team Omega has only one bag left to retrieve, and knowing them, Gareth would be the only one left. And knowing his bad luck with challenges, I'm glad he's not on this team! Oh, and Gareth, if you're watching this, I'm sorry you had to hear that.

- J -

The rings were the only obstacle keeping Team Omega from working on the puzzle, and Gareth, by default, was there right now.

"This should be easy!" Gareth said, as he tried to grab onto a ring. His hand slipped, and he fell onto the net below.

"Okay... let me try again!" Gareth said, as he got up, and tried to grab onto the ring again. Once again, he slipped.

- J -

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GARETH: Oh, rings... WHY DO YOU MOCK ME SO? You should be easy to grab onto, but you're not! I fall down almost EVERY SINGLE TIME!

- J -

The members of Team Alpha were making a bit of progress on their 300-piece puzzle. Hektor and Ashlynn have volunteered to help out with solving this monstrosity of a puzzle, and at this point, they have gotten at least forty of the puzzle pieces together.

"I think that piece goes there," Hektor pointed out. "Both of them have red as a common color."

"Yeah, they do, don't they?" Ashlynn said. "Let's try it." Ashlynn connected the piece with several others, and it did indeed fit.

Just then, Zakeri approached the puzzle stations while carrying the red bag. "Only one more to go," he said, tagging Ireland.

"Good luck catching up to them," Ireland said. "Those two over there are just getting started on theirs!" Ireland motioned toward Ashlynn and Hektor, and Zakeri saw that the two Team Alpha members have successfully inserted another piece.

"Oh well, we might still get second place!" Zakeri said. "Good luck out there!"

"Thanks!" Ireland said, as she went off to find the last bag.

- J -

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IRELAND: This is make it or break it for me... I know I'm in hot water for those constant makeout sessions with Kieran early on... I need to prove myself in this crucial challenge, because if we lose, I could be on the block! But then again, I would be reunited with Kieran... hmm... tough decision...

- J -

"Almost there!" Gareth had finally grabbed onto the first ring, but slipped when he grabbed onto the second ring. "Crap!" He fell onto the net.

Ireland ran over to the rings and she saw Gareth fall onto the net again. And again. And again.

"Oh my gosh!" Ireland said, as she ran over to him. "Need help?"

"What's the point?" Gareth said, as he fell again. "It won't do any good, because Team Alpha will have finished the puzzle by now."

"Here, I'll go first," Ireland said. She grabbed onto the first ring. "See how I'm positioning my fingers onto the ring? You're probably approaching it from the bottom, so that's probably why your fingers keep slipping."

"Ahhhh." Gareth was impressed.

- J -

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GARETH: Ireland helped me out with the challenge today... I'd give anything for another swap later on, because we've never become teammates. Like, AT ALL.

- J -

Ireland grabbed onto the second ring. "Now, grab onto the first ring using the technique I just showed you," she said to Gareth.

Gareth grabbed onto the first ring... using the hand position that Ireland showed him... but this time, he didn't fall off at all!

"Wow..." Gareth said, impressed. "I think I can do this now!"

"Yeah, you might as well," Ireland said. "Sorry I couldn't help you more, but I need to win this challenge. See you!" Ireland continued grabbing onto ring after ring, until she reached the red bag at the end. She grabbed it and went down the slide with it. It was at that point that Gareth had successfully grabbed onto the second ring!

"Yes!" Gareth said. He then reached over in an attempt to grab the third ring... and he did! And as he kept grabbing rings, he didn't fall off this time! He successfully reached the ledge, and only the purple bag remained. Gareth successfully grabbed onto it.

"All right!" Gareth cheered triumphantly. "We can finally do this!"

Gareth ran toward the slide, holding the purple bag. On the way, he tripped and fell, tumbling down the slide, with both him and the bag in front of him rolling down like boulders. He landed on the ground face first... then got up after a while, dusting himself off.

- J -

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GARETH: It's the battle to avoid third place now! I like this twist, because it's one of those situations where second place is a good thing again!

- J -

"Okay, I guess we've done very good at almost entirely revealing what part of the puzzle is," Hektor said, as there was a section of puzzle which looked like part of a red vehicle... a jeep, perhaps? However, there was a pretty obvious piece missing from that section.

"I think it's an all-red piece," Ashlynn said. "Let's check the leftover pieces, and see if it's there."

Ashlynn and Hektor checked all the pieces on their board, and none of them were all red.

"Aiyaah, nothing like that here," Hektor said.

"Well, let's check all the bags," Blaine said. "Maybe it's still in one of them."

"Hurry up," York said impatiently. "We don't have all day, you know!"

Ashlynn and Hektor checked all six of their team's bags. All of them were empty.

"Well, I guess that's all the pieces we have then," Ashlynn said. "Guess we have to make do with what we have, right?"

- J -

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ASHLYNN: My ex-boyfriend Nelson gave me a jigsaw puzzle for my birthday that had several pieces missing too. The fact that the box was already opened when I unwrapped it should have been an obvious giveaway. I dumped him, of course, and brought a jigsaw puzzle just like that, but with all the pieces. And the money I spent was money that I had saved toward the birthday presents that I'm not going to give this guy in the future anymore! Oh, and Nelson, if you're watching this... happy 17th birthday... you jerk.

- J -

"I want to do the puzzle!" Francesca shouted in Desirae's face, while the members of Team Beta were waiting for their final bag.

"Step off! I'm doin' it, hon'!" Desirae said, pushing Francesca aside.

"Yeah, you'll probably just dance all over the pieces," Francesca said sarcastically. "Big help that will do."

"Say what?" Desirae said, offended. "Even when I do jigsaw puzzles, I don't do that!"

It was at this point that Ireland returned with the final bag. She was shocked that she was seeing Desirae and Francesca arguing... but at least she wasn't surprised.

- J -

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IRELAND: When I returned with the last bag, Francesca and Desirae are arguing with each other over who should do the puzzle. Either one of them could be the first person voted out of this new Team Beta if they don't stop this fighting ASAP... which means maybe I'm not getting voted out after all! Yay me!

ROSS: Mon, Franny-girl and Desirae... dis constant bickerin' 'tween the two oomon could rip our team apart like a hurricane! In the sixteen years me spent on Jah's great Earth, me nuh see any rivalry dis bad...

[Shot of Henry and Dexter sharing a confessional.]

HENRY: And that is why helicopters are better, Dexter! You should have known this by now, but like the majestic helicopter, it's gone too far above your head!

DEXTER: No, bathrooms are better! In fact, you are desecrating the sanctity of this outhouse with your presence, so please leave this holy place at once!

HENRY: Not until you admit helicopters are better!

DEXTER: Bathrooms!

HENRY: HELICOPTERS!

DEXTER: BATHROOMS!

[Just then, Alec appears.]

ALEC: SCIENCE!

[Henry and Dexter turn to stare at Alec.]'

ALEC: 'What? Everyone else was shouting, so I thought I'd join in.

- J -

"And Team Beta has gotten all six bags!" Chris' voice announced. "Start working on the puzzle before Team Omega arrives with their last bag!"

While Team Beta opened all six of their bags, they looked at some of their pieces. "Hm, I think we should do the red pieces first, they seem to stand out, yo!" Payson said.

"Yeah, good idea!" Francesca said. "I think we'll start with this piece... it's nothing but red."

While Payson and Francesca did the puzzle, York and Ashlynn overheard the conversation.

"Did Team Beta say they just had a piece that was nothing but red?" York asked.

"I believe they did," Ashlynn replied. "None of our pieces seem to fit that description."

"Yeah, and we checked every bag, too," Hektor replied sadly.

"And here's something interesting..." Blaine said, as he noticed some other pieces. "These two pieces look exactly alike!" Blaine held up a pair of exactly-identical puzzle pieces that had the same pattern on them, as well as the same shape.

"Now that you mention it," Ashlynn said, holding up two identical corner pieces. "So do these two!"

"And these three!" Luna said, holding up three pieces that matched in pattern and shape. "Heh... they look so cute together, don't they?"

"But that's freaking impossible!" Ward complained.

"Some advantage this turned out to be!" York yelled sarcastically.

- J -

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YORK: Oh great... Chris just had to mix up the puzzle pieces so that important pieces we needed were given to the other teams! Yeah, the Helping Hand medallion didn't do anything useful in this challenge at all! Seriously, Chris' twists are lame!

CHRIS: Hello? My twists are not lame! The twist that turned two teams into three? Yeah, that wasn't lame at all! Neither was the twist that gave the team that won the first challenge automatic invincibility from the second challenge! Come to think of it, the twist where some of the votes were burned was pretty awesome! So was the part where I tricked everyone into voting out their most likable team member! Yeah... that part still puts a smile on my face! So as you can see, my twists are anything but lame. End of discussion.

- J -

Gareth finally arrived with his final bag of puzzle pieces for Team Omega. "And Team Omega is on the board with their last bag!" Chris announced. "It's now time to see which two teams can complete their jigsaw puzzles the fastest... assuming they're able to complete them at all!"

The six members of Team Omega opened their bags of puzzle pieces. "It's okay, everyone!" Connor said to his teammates. "We can still complete our puzzle faster than the other two teams if we just believe in ourselves!"

"Yeah, good luck," York muttered under her breath as she watched Team Omega work on their puzzle.

It was at this point that Team Beta reached a similar impasse that Team Alpha did. Francesca almost completed a section of the puzzle (it looked to be someone's arm) but it had a piece missing.

"Okay, where is it?" Francesca said, checking the pieces. York tried to suppress all the laughter she could as Francesca looked in vain for the missing piece. She even checked all six of the red bags... nothing was there!

- J -

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FRANCESCA: Whenever I do a jigsaw puzzle at home, and I'm missing some pieces, it's usually because one of my brothers would steal them just to play a mean prank on me. So, I bet someone nearby is doing this to me as well... probably Desirae! I mean, when you think about it, she has been trying to get rid of me so she can have Rasta... who she is NOT getting, by the way. And she probably hid those missing pieces into that hair of hers... using the same method that that tryhard Anne Maria used to sneak chocolate bars into Wawanakwa last season!

- J -

Desirae noticed Francesca frantically searching the bags. "Aw, somethin' wrong, hon'?" Desirae asked.

"Yeah, a puzzle piece is missing," Francesca stated. "I assume you'd know where it is, since you're throwing the challenge to get rid of me."

"Girl, you crazy!" Desirae said angrily. "I ain't thrown even one challenge since I got here! If anything, y'all is probably throwin' the challenge to get rid of me!"

"WHAT?" Francesca said, flabbergasted. "Listen, lady, I have thrown basketballs, baseballs, and even dodgeballs, but I do not throw challenges! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check your hair for a moment!" And then Francesca grabbed Desirae and started searching through her afro for any puzzle pieces that she thought might have been hidden in there.

"What is you doin'?" Desirae freaked out. "Girl, you really crossin' the line!"

- J -

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DESIRAE: I did not hide no puzzle pieces in my fro. ...Don't you look at me like that! I ain't lyin', sug'! Francesca's just makin' an excuse to get me voted off to keep me from my man... and I ain't gon' let that happen!

- J -

Francesca was still searching through Desirae's hair like mad, and the other Team Beta members dropped what they were doing to pull the two fighting girls away from each other.

"Help, y'all!" Desirae shouted. "This girl's crazy!"

Ross could not believe what he had seen.

- J -

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ROSS: By the sacred colors of black, gold and green! When me put both Franny-girl and Desirae on me team, me nuh wanted they to fight like two lions in Africa fight for supremacy! Them be takin' dis too far. Rasta nuh take any more of dis. Them needs a time-out!

- J -

Ross went over to the other three Team Beta teammates. "Zakeri! Payson! Ireland! Separate them two oomon before them kill each other!"

"Good idea!" Zakeri said. "There's too much negative chi around as it is!"

At the point those four arrived, Desirae and Francesca were busy wrestling on the ground, Francesca still madly combing her hands through Desirae's hair. Zakeri and Payson tried to pull Francesca apart from Desirae, while Ireland and Ross were trying to pull Desirae apart from Francesca.

However, the members of Team Beta were so preoccupied with trying to stop the fight... that they left their puzzle station unguarded!

York, on Team Alpha's side, took notice of this.

- J -

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YORK: See? I told you I picked a better team! "Oh, look at us, we're the new Team Beta! Ross wanted us to be nice and peaceful but we'd rather fight each other than use our brains!" I guess those two girls were picked because their names began with the letters D and F, which, as any schoolteacher will tell you, are obviously failing grades! And the dumbest move they've made yet? Leaving their half-finished puzzle unattended. Nice job, morons! You know the look of disappointment you get when someone else either finishes your puzzle for you or takes your pieces apart and doesn't put them back? Prepare to experience the latter!

- J -

"Whoa..." Ashlynn said, as she saw the two Team Beta girls fight. "They're really out for each other!"

"And you know what the best part is?" York said. "They're leaving their puzzle out in the open! I'm gonna steal some of their pieces, 'kay?"

"Wait, York!" Ashlynn shouted. But it was too late. York ran over to Team Beta's puzzle station while the six Team Beta members were distracted. York looked for some puzzle pieces that Team Alpha didn't have, and immediately swiped a few of them. "Yoink!" York said quietly to herself, and ran back to Team Alpha's puzzle station to insert them into the puzzle.

"York, you know that what you did was very sneaky, right?" Ashlynn said to York.

"Yeah, I'm that good, ain't I?" York said, smiling, as she inserted some more puzzle pieces.

"But look on the plus side," Blaine said. "At least that section isn't missing any pieces any more, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose that is true," Ashlynn said, sighing while she and Hektor continued to work on the puzzle.

- J -

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HEKTOR: If we win the challenge, it will probably be through York's sneakiness and cunning. Aiyaah... our team is probably going to end up making so many enemies after this!

- J -

Yep, Desirae and Francesca were still fighting. And Ireland, Payson, Ross and Zakeri were still unsuccesfully trying to stop the two of them.

While all the fighting was going on, Zakeri took a look at their team's puzzle station.

"Hold it, you guys!" Zakeri said. "Someone stole some of our puzzle pieces!"

- J -

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ZAKERI: We were so caught up in the Desirae and Francesca drama that we didn't even notice that some of our puzzle pieces were missing! We are so stupid! I hope that mistake doesn't end up putting our team in last place.

- J -

"Yeah, and this wouldn't have happened if Desirae didn't hide any pieces from our team to begin with!" Francesca said.

"For the last time, girl, I ain't steal nothin'!" Desirae protested.

"Yeah, but you stole something," Francesca retorted.

"Girls, please try to stop this arguing," Ireland said, raising her hands out in an attempt to quell the argument.

"Yeah, we're tryin' to win, yo!" Payson said.

"Fine," Francesca said, glaring daggers in Desirae's direction. "But I'm watching you like a hawk."

Desirae gulped. "Oh yeah? Well... I'm watchin' you too!"

Desirae and Francesca continued working on the puzzle with the rest of Team Beta... though it was clearly obvious neither of them wanted to speak to each other.

- J -

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PAYSON: Sheesh... I'm starting to miss Justus already. Even my rivalry with him didn't escalate to this level, yo!

ROSS: We be comin' in dead last, mon... but me hope not.

- J -

The three teams were getting pretty close to completing their puzzles, what with the pieces they have.

Talwen and Odessa were doing as best a job they could, though, like with the other two teams, they had some pieces missing... and some duplicate ones as well.

"Oh great..." Odessa said, when she saw that one puzzle piece looked exactly like one that was already in the puzzle. "We come back from the dead and it's like Chris doesn't want us to win invincibility."

"I really think he did this with everyone, no matter who ended up on which team," Talwen said.

"Yeah, he wants us to steal puzzle pieces from the other teams, homes," Quillon said. "So, I suggest we do that."

- J -

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QUILLON: Like they say in the barrio, you steal one of our apples... we steal one of yours. It's only fair, right, ese?

- J -

"Then how about Team Alpha?" Connor suggested. "They've got like tons of them over there!"

The Team Omega members glanced at Team Alpha's puzzle board, and sure enough, Connor was right. At least 200 pieces have been locked in place over there.

"Yeah, I'm okay with that!" Odessa replied. "Let's do it!"

But then Unique saw Hektor working as hard as he can on the puzzle, and she became nervous.

- J -

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UNIQUE: Really? Take out Team Alpha? Hektor is on that team, and I promised him that we would work together to take out Team Beta! But then again, Zakeri is on that team as well. All three of us just had to end up on different teams, and no matter what, one of us is going to end up disappointed... [sighs] why me...

- J -

The members of Team Beta were still trying to make progress on their puzzle, but since York stole some of their pieces, it wasn't going quite as well.

"Yeah, some pieces are still missing, yo," Payson said.

"We've gotta get them back," Francesca said confidently, as she headed toward Team Alpha's puzzle station.

- J -

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FRANCESCA: I think it might have been Team Alpha... I mean, their board is almost completed! Well, they're about to learn they're not the only ones who can steal things!

- J -

Luna and Blaine saw Francesca rolling up her sleeves, marching toward the puzzle station with a look of determination and vengeance in her eyes.

"Oh great, she's here," Blaine said to Luna. "And she probably wants them back, I assume."

"Eek!" Luna said, cowering. "That girl is scary!"

"Don't worry, you two," York said to Blaine and Luna. "She's not getting them."

- J -

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YORK: I hated him before... but now I love him... because he's about to become useful for a change!

- J -

"I know you took them!" Francesca said, as she got closer and closer to Team Alpha's puzzle station. However, when she got there, Ward was standing in front of it, blocking Francesca's path.

- J -

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WARD: Okay, there I was, minding my business, looking at my bro Hektor do the puzzle, when suddenly York tells me that the other teams want to steal some of our puzzle pieces! The nerve! Who do they think they are? WE WORKED HARD TO GET WHERE WE'RE AT WITH OUR ADVANTAGE, AND WE WON'T LET YOU STEAL IT! COME AT ME! I DARE YOU!

ASHLYNN: Forget stealing our puzzle pieces... you should really be stealing this guy's vocal cords! Ow, it hurts so bad...

- J -

"Um... please... Mr. Ward... sir..." Francesca stammered meekly. "Um... you have some of our puzzle pieces, so... would you please..."

Ward's response was to pick Francesca up and throw her back towards her team's puzzle station. Luckily, Ireland and Zakeri were able to catch her in time.

"No puzzle pieces?" Ireland asked.

"No puzzle pieces," Francesca said sadly.

- J -

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FRANCESCA: I lost... to a boy? I mean, Ward just can't be for real. The guy is a freaking tank! How did he get so strong anyway? He'd better not have brought steroids into camp with him!

WARD: All right... ANYONE ELSE WANT A PIECE OF ME?

- J -

"And this piece goes there," Connor said, locking yet another piece for Team Omega's puzzle.

"Perfect," Talwen said. "The puzzle is almost complete... except for the fact that there are fifty pieces missing... and the fifty leftover pieces we have don't even fit."

"Wait," Unique said. "I think I can handle this." She picked up a handful of puzzle pieces, and confidently approached Team Alpha's puzzle station. There, she slowly beckoned to Hektor seductively.

"Wait, what is she doing?" Odessa asked.

- J -

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ODESSA: Unique has been acting really weird... I hope she hasn't made any side deals with the other teams that I'm not aware of. What if she came to our team to steal Quillon from me?

TALWEN: I've been on a team with Unique before, and Unique can be persuasive when she wants to be. She saved us girls from being voted off on Day 2, so she knows what she's doing!

- J -

"Hektor?" Unique asked, as she saw Hektor. "Please come with me?"

"Um, okay?" Hektor asked, slowly approaching Unique. Because Hektor was going toward Unique, Ashlynn was all by herself at the puzzle station.

"And I have to do everything by myself..." Ashlynn said to herself.

"Um... you're almost there, Ashlynn!" Blaine said.

"Yay!" Luna said. "Go, Ashlynn, go! Go, Ashlynn, go!"

York was just standing there, looking at Unique leading Hektor to a side niche between the Team Alpha and Team Omega puzzle stations. She was laughing to herself.

"What's so funny?" Ashlynn asked York.

"Oh, nothing," York said. "I mean, it's not like we're going to lose, because Unique's going to slip up sooner or later and hand us victory... I can feel it!"

- J -

"So, why did you lead me over here?" Hektor asked Unique.

"Oh, our team just needs some spare puzzle pieces is all," Unique said matter-of-factly. "In fact, if you give us some of yours, we'll give you these!" Unique showed Hektor the spare puzzle pieces she was holding.

"Wow..." Hektor said, as Unique placed the puzzle pieces in Hektor's hands.

- J -

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HEKTOR: Aiyaah... gong-gong and po-po are not going to explain this when I get back home... those puzzle pieces could be the ones our team needs. She's actually helping our team win! If we both make the merge, I will definitely keep her around!

YORK: OMG... she's actually helping our team win! Like I said before, Team Alpha... better team.

UNIQUE: This is one of the greatest risks I've ever taken so far... if Hektor manages to pull this off, I'll gravitate towards him more than Zakeri... but even if Team Beta loses, which they might, I don't want them to vote off Zakeri just yet! Let's just say I still have some... plans for him later on.

- J -

"Are you sure those are the ones we need?" Ashlynn said, as Hektor showed her the pieces.

"Yes," Hektor said. "Unique confirmed it with me."

"And she actually gave them to you? Wow..." Ashlynn said, stunned.

"Well, they're here now, so we might as well put them in," Blaine said.

So the members of Team Alpha inserted the puzzle pieces in. However, while they were doing that, Hektor pocketed some of the duplicate pieces while the others weren't watching.

Team Alpha was almost finished with their puzzle, but the puzzle still wasn't complete yet...

"Four pieces are still missing!" Luna shouted.

"Yeah, we all know how to count, genius," York said sarcastically.

"And they're probably the ones we didn't steal from Team Beta," Blaine said. He then whispered to Luna, "You know what to do, right?"

"Of course!" Luna said excitedly. "I hope those guys are ready to see what I can do!" She then cartwheeled over to Team Beta's puzzle station very rapidly.

- J -

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BLAINE: To be honest... I still have not been able to comprehend what she does.

- J -

"Ev'ryone put puzzle togetha'... when completed, ev'ryt'ing be betta'," Ross sang, as he and the other members of Team Beta tried to put together their last few pieces. However, Ross didn't expect Luna to leap onto his shoulders from behind and cup her hands over his eyes.

"Peekaboo!" Luna shouted. "Guess who?"

"Luna?" Ross asked, flabbergasted.

"Quick question," Luna said, excited. "Which of the girls are you currently with? And don't lie to me, pleeeeease!"

"Um... I..." Ross tried to speak, but was too shocked to come up with any words. "Now nuh be the right time, oomon!"

"Yeah, we're trying to do the puzzle here!" Francesca shouted. "Oh, he's with me, by the way!"

"Nuh-uh, he with me!" Desirae shouted, pushing Francesca aside.

"Oh great, it's back to this again," Ireland said, rolling her eyes.

"Tell me about it," Zakeri said. "Let's just work on the puzzle and be done with it."

"Ooh! Let me help!" Luna said, and then she jumped onto Team Beta's puzzle board, and then started jumbling the pieces all over the place, taking apart some pieces that were already connected!

- J -

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ROSS: As if the spat between Franny-girl and Desirae was bad enough, Team Alpha send Luna over to us side to rub salt in us wounds! Mon... that be just low, even for a team with rude-girl on it.

LUNA: Hey, I'm only doing what Blaine told me to do! Besides, if it sounds fun, then I just gotta do it! And it sounded fun, so I did it! Yaaaaay!

- J -

"Luna!" Francesca shouted. "Those are our team's puzzle pieces!"

"Really?" Luna said. "Because they look like confetti to me!" And then Luna picked up some of the unconnected puzzle pieces and threw them on the ground, scattering them around the puzzle board. The members of Team Beta had to pick up the fallen pieces.

When they tried putting the pieces together, not only have they discovered that Luna was no longer around, but also...

"Yep, some pieces are stolen again," Francesca observed.

"Mon, why?" Ross shouted in frustration.

- J -

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ROSS: Mon, someone cast a bad obeah pon us team today. It may or may not be someone from Team Beta, but me shall find out who!

- J -

"You positive you don't need them anymore?" Unique asked Hektor.

"Positive," Hektor replied, giving Unique the puzzle pieces he found. "You should be okay."

"Aw, thanks!" Unique smiled at Hektor. Unique happily ran off toward Team Omega with the collected pieces.

"So, where were you, Unique?" Connor asked Unique. "You've been gone an awfully long time."

"Oh, I just had to get these!" Unique said, showing her teammates the pieces.

"Sweet!" Quillon said. "This puzzle is as good as completed!"

- J -

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CONNOR: What Unique did for our team was pretty heroic... yet it could have backfired horribly. For one thing, those could have been the wrong pieces she got from Hektor! Now all we had to do was see if those pieces fit...

- J -

Luna ran over to the rest of Team Alpha with a very wide grin on her face.

"Oh, please tell me you got the right ones," York said impatiently.

"Yep!" Luna said. "They're right here!" She threw the puzzle pieces she found in York's face.

"Urgh!" York shrieked, as she picked the puzzle pieces up.

"Um, you're welcome!" Luna said.

- J -

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YORK: If those were the wrong pieces Luna found, I would have strangled her neck. Sure, I would've been kicked out of the game for violence, but it would have definitely have been worth it! She somehow managed to find the right ones, so guess what? She lives!

LUNA: Actually, I just found the ones that had lots of pretty colors on them! Hee hee!

- J -

"And one more," Ashlynn said, as she inserted the last piece of their puzzle. Team Alpha gazed in awe at the picture they had assembled.

"Whoa..." Ward said, impressed.

"Well, Chris did say it was a picture of something beginning with J," Hektor said.

"Yep... it's one of the fiercest animals in the jungle, someone that every child should stay away from, in order to avoid getting scratched," Blaine said.

The camera panned to the puzzle they had completed. The animal in the puzzle was photographed in a jungle setting, next to a red jeep, and was somehow holding a jar of jam. Oh, and its name began with the letter J, like the other objects in the picture.

"Boys and girls..." Blaine said. "Behold the ferocious Justin!"

- J -

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JUSTIN: Eh, what can I say. I need to be back in the media spotlight after Beth dumped me for Brady, so when Chris offered me ten grand for a photo shoot, I couldn't turn it down! Brady may have a degree in advanced thermodynamics... but who has ten thousand dollars? Think about it.

BLAINE: Feh. I'm definitely prettier than him!

YORK: So? Blaine's obviously prettier than him!

ASHLYNN: Meh. I don't really care about him at all.

- J -

"And Team Alpha wins invincibility!" Chris' voice shouted over the P.A. system, while the members of Team Alpha cheered. "Yeah, shocking, huh? Now it's between Teams Beta and Omega for second!"

"We have to hustle, girl!" Desirae said. "We fallin' behind!"

"So? Let's just make it easy for ourselves!" Francesca said. "We can steal from Team Alpha again!"

Just then, Ward stood in front of his team's puzzle board menacingly. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Ward shouted, both of his hands clenched tight into fists.

"Or not." Francesca said meekly.

"Us need to hurry, people!" Ross shouted. "We be behind!"

The members of Team Beta worked frantically as they could, trying to catch up to Team Omega.

"Y'all know this would've been easier if some of our pieces ain't been taken," Desirae said, as she tried to put together the rest of the puzzle.

- J -

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ROSS: Me be prayin' to Jah for a miracle... because, face it... at this point, us need one.

- J -

"You know, I think someone from one of the other teams could take our other pieces," Blaine said. Blaine picked the leftover pieces up, and was about to give them to Ashlynn, when Luna came over, and snatched them from his hands!

"Oh, you're giving them to me?" Luna said. "Gee, thanks!"

"Um, you're welcome, I guess," Ashlynn said.

"Luna... please get rid of these puzzle pieces so the other teams can't get them!" Blaine said.

"No problem!" Luna said, and then she ran over to the jungle gym and threw them over the railing! When she was done, she rejoined her teammates.

"Luna... that was the craziest and most insane thing you've ever done," Blaine said.

"Thank you!" Luna said, smiling.

Blaine put a comforting arm on Luna's back. "Welcome to Team Alpha, Luna!"

"YAY!"

- J -

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LUNA: It feels so good to be accepted in a team! You know what... I think that's the first time that's ever happened to me in my life, because back at high school... …well, I won't go into that for now, just to keep things on the happy side.

- J -

"Where did Luna throw those pieces again?" Odessa asked Quillon, as the two of them ran toward the jungle gym.

"I think over there, chica," Quillon replied. But it wasn't just Odessa and Quillon searching for the puzzle pieces... all of Team Omega was searching... in fact, so were all of Team Beta! The twelve contestants not on Team Alpha were busy rooting around, scavenging for any puzzle pieces that had yet to be put into their puzzle, and hoping to find the ones they needed. If it was a piece they didn't need, they would try burying it in the sand... only for it to be unearthed by a member of the other team.

It was really intense out there.

Connor found some puzzle pieces and put them back in Team Omega's puzzle. So did Quillon and Odessa.

Ireland raced back after finding some more puzzle pieces. Zakeri returned with a handful.

Though neither Desirae nor Francesca wanted to talk to or look at each other, they both returned with a decent amount.

Payson and Ross raced against Talwen and Unique in a fight to put those last few puzzle pieces in.

There was only one puzzle piece left for Team Omega.

"I've found it!" Gareth said, as he saw what appeared to be the final puzzle piece for his team.

- J -

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GARETH: The last puzzle piece was within my grasp! Now all I had to was get it, and be the hero for our team... and make those other two teams sorry they didn't pick me at all! This will be sweet revenge!

- J -

Gareth slid his hand beneath the narrow opening under the wall where the puzzle piece ended up. He felt around for the puzzle piece, and was able to grab onto it!

"Yes!" Gareth said to himself.

However, as Gareth tried to pull the puzzle piece out... his arm ended up getting stuck.

"Oh no!" Gareth cried. "My arm seems to be stuck in there! Um... anyone out there... a little help?"

- J -

"And this piece goes... there!" Ireland pointed out, as Payson inserted the next-to-last piece for Team Beta's puzzle.

"Now us be wit' only one piece left," Ross said. "It could be anywhere, mon."

"Then we gots to find it!" Desirae said. "Let's split the scene!" The members of Team Beta ran off to the jungle gym to check any areas they missed. While they were doing that, Team Omega was starting to worry.

"It would stink if that team were to beat us, amigos," Quillon said.

"By the way, where's Gareth?" Connor asked. "Shouldn't he be back with the puzzle piece by now?"

"HELP!" Gareth shouted from a distance. "SOMEONE HELP ME! I'M STUCK!"

"That's Gareth!" Connor said. "Something could have happened to him!"

"Then we have to help him!" Odessa replied.

- J -

CAMERA CONFESSIONAL

ODESSA: I am so glad to have people on my team that can hear other people's voices! If my team consisted of just Gareth and Odessa and he yelled for help, I definitely would not have been able to help him! And then he would think I was mean for not helping him, so fortunately that scenario didn't happen!

- J -

"You guys go help him," Talwen insisted. "I think I'll just stay here."

"Um, are you sure about that?" Unique asked.

"Trust me, I'll be fine here, don't worry!" Talwen said.

"Okay, whatever, chica," Quillon said, as he, Odessa, Unique and Connor ran off to help Gareth.

- J -

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CONNOR: Is it just me, or does Talwen not want to help Gareth out? I know it's probably justified given that neither Talwen nor Gareth have shared a team... but she must have her reasons.

- J -

"Someone please help me!" Gareth called out, as he was struggling in vain trying to pull his arm out. Just then, Gareth saw Connor, Odessa, Quillon and Unique rushing over to help him.

"We'll save you, vato, don't worry!" Quillon said. "Okay, everyone, on the count of 3, grab onto his arm!"

"Okay, but don't pull too hard!" Gareth said. "I don't want to end up minus one of my arms! That would be a bad way to go!"

Connor and Unique grabbed onto one side of Gareth's arm, and Odessa and Quillon grabbed onto the other side.

"Okay... 1... 2... 3! Pull, muchachos!" Quillon shouted. The members of Team Omega tried as hard as they could to pull Gareth's arm out.

- J -

Meanwhile, the search for their final puzzle piece was rather fruitless for Team Beta. The six team members scoured almost the entire jungle gym but came up empty.

"It feels like me have searched the same place six times already, mon," Ross said.

"I've already searched this place seven times, yo," Payson said, still digging around.

"Perhaps it slid under something," Desirae said. "I'ma go check."

Desirae bent over to see if their last puzzle piece ended up underneath the jungle gym. Francesca was walking across the bridge to see if she could get a clear shot of the puzzle piece from above... and she just happened to look at Desirae. A puzzle piece had somehow ended up in Desirae's afro!

"Aha," Francesca said to herself. "So she was lying to me..."

- J -

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FRANCESCA: All that hair on her head may have been to hide things, but the instant they start falling out... BUSTED!

- J -

Francesca reached over the bridge with her arms, and grabbed the puzzle piece from Desirae's afro!

"Girl, what is you doin'?" Desirae asked.

"We've found it, you guys!" Francesca said. "It was in her afro! And she said she didn't have anything in there!"

"Oh, tryin' to pin the blame on me again, girl?" Desirae said angrily. "You goin' down tonight, foo'!"

"Now, now, let's not get into thisagain!" Zakeri said. "The point is, we found it, so let's get there before the other team finishes theirs!"

"We'd better hurry!" Francesca ran off with the puzzle piece, the other members of Team Beta right behind her. Meanwhile, Connor, Odessa, Quillon and Unique were still trying to pull Gareth's arm out, since they had been unsuccessful so far.

"We're going to lose, aren't we?" Gareth said.

"Oh man, why is your arm wedged in there so tight?" Quillon said.

"That puzzle piece is so stubborn," Gareth said. "But I am not letting go of it, no matter what it takes!"

Gareth grasped as hard as he can onto the puzzle piece, while the other Team Omega members were still trying to get him unstuck.

- J -

"Finally!" Francesca said, as she reached the puzzle board for Team Beta. "Time to put the last piece in!"

"'Bout dang time!" Desirae said.

Francesca tried to put the last piece in... but it didn't fit!

"Wait..." Francesca said. "That wasn't our puzzle piece?"

"Nope," Talwen said while she was watching them. "And I believe I'll be taking that!" Talwen swiped the puzzle piece from Francesca and ran over to her puzzle board, inserting it into her team's puzzle.

- J -

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FRANCESCA: So close! SO. FREAKING. CLOSE!

TALWEN: Like I said before, there are times when being under-the-radar is good, and there are times when it is bad. This time, it's the former! I was glad I chose to stay behind!

- J -

"And Team Omega has also won invincibility!" Chris' voice shouted on the P.A. system. The other Team Omega members, who were still trying to pull Gareth's arm out... dropped what they were doing, and started cheering.

"Yay!" Connor said. "We're in second place, but it's better than last!"

"Um, hello?" Gareth said. "Still need help here!"

"You don't need to worry about it anymore," Unique said. "In fact, that puzzle piece you grabbed onto wasn't even ours."

"Yeah, you should let it go, ese," Quillon said. "I think most people have gotten their arms unstuck this way."

"You could be right," Gareth said, letting go of the puzzle piece. Instantly, he could move his arm around again, as he freely slid it back out. "What do you know, I'm free!"

"And immune!" Connor said. "We're not going anywhere tonight!"

- J -

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CONNOR: The other twelve contestants may have had the traits that York and Ross wanted, but what we at Team Omega have is heart, and determination. This is something that neither Team Alpha nor Team Beta can take from us! Yeah, it sounds cliche, but hey... it's true.

- J -

All eighteen contestants assembled at the puzzle stations, while Chris was there to greet them. "Excellent job on the challenge, Team Alpha!" Chris said. "Since the six of you won, the Luxury Cabin will be yours tonight!"

"Yes!" York said triumphantly. "Oh, and by the way, we're not leaving it for a while, so nyah nyah!"

"And as a reward for coming in first," Chris continued. "Team Alpha... you get a box containing that very same jigsaw puzzle for your very own!" Chris showed Team Alpha a box containing puzzle pieces like the ones used in the challenge. "Now you can put together Justin's pretty face whenever you want!" He gave the box to Ashlynn.

"Um... okay... I guess..." Ashlynn said.

"Team Omega, you've also won invincibility!" Chris said to the six members of Team Omega.

"So, let me guess, Dual Cabins tonight, right?" Unique said.

"Well, you're right... sorta..." Chris said. "Tonight all of you will be staying at the boys' cabin. And Team Beta, since you came in last, you get to sleep in the girls' cabin!"

"Um, the girls' cabin is the same as the boys' cabin," Francesca said. "What gives?"

"Well, no one wants to sleep in a cabin that has icky girl cooties in it!" Chris said. "Oh, and Team Beta, you're also in third, which means you have to vote someone out tonight. Duh! You'll be down to five after this, so choose wisely!"

- J -

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ROSS: Us failed... on so many levels. But the biggest fail came in the form of the oomon fighting. But me worry... if me vote either of dem off, them could be really vex at the Rasta! And me other t'ree teammates did so well at the challenge, so me nuh vote either of dem! What is I and I to do...

- J -

"You know what? I'm glad it's going to be your last night here," Francesca said to Desirae. The two of them were in what was formerly the girls' cabin of the Dual Cabins, though it could very well be since two girls are currently inhabiting it.

"Really?" Desirae said. "I ain't goin' anywhere."

"Well, I didn't mess up the challenge my hiding a puzzle piece in my hair!" Francesca said. "Time to pack up those dancing shoes, sister!"

"Oh, you'll be the one packin', girlfriend," Desirae said.

"Not necessarily," Francesca said. "I'm gonna find Rasta, and tell him to vote you off, because he clearly likes me more."

"It ain't gon' do much good, because Rasta in love with me, crazy!" Desirae said.

Meanwhile, Ross, Payson, Ireland and Zakeri were in a clearing behind the cabin. They have overheard the argument between the two Team Beta girls.

"It never stops with those two, yo," Payson said.

"And of course, Rasta be involved, mon," Ross said. "Dis fighting be a dark obeah dat nuh go 'way."

"So, let's vote one of them off," Zakeri said.

"Me could, but me nuh want either of dem hate de Rasta because of it," Ross said.

"So, you're voting one of us off?" Ireland said.

"Relax, you t'ree are safe," Ross said. "Rasta has a plan to hopefully end the fighting, and ensure dat no one on Team Beta feel betrayed. And dis be what you must do..." He then whispered his plan to Payson, Zakeri and Ireland.

- J -

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ZAKERI: I think there might be a better alternative than this, but if it's what Ross wants...

IRELAND: He did not have to do this at all! Why did I agree to that?

PAYSON: If it helps me out, I gotta grant the bro's wish, yo.

ROSS: Me strategy may seem questionable, mon, but trust me. It's for de bes'. Me hopin' for peace and love afta' dis.

- J -

[BONFIRE CEREMONY]

The six Team Beta members assembled at the Bonfire Ceremony. "Yep, you've been through several of these before... with other team members, of course," Chris said. "I see some votes are pretty obvious, so I could know who's going home tonight!"

"Yeah, it's her!" Desirae and Francesca shouted at the same time, pointing at the other.

"We don't know yet!" Chris said. "But before we get to the vote, if anyone has found an Invincibility Idol, you can do so if you wish!"

"Sho' thing, hon'!" Desirae said, as she pulled out her Invincibility Idol and handed it to Chris.

"No way..." Francesca said, stunned.

"I couldn't even find that," Ireland said.

Chris held up the Invincibility Idol. "According to the rules, if you play an Invincibility Idol, and you get votes against you, they won't even count, and the person with the next highest total will be going home instead!"

Desirae smiled, while Francesca grew worried.

"And congrats, Desirae! This is an Invincibility Idol, so you are safe tonight! Any votes cast against her will not count, so someone else will leave instead! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'ma go read the votes, 'kay?" Chris left to read the votes.

- J -

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DESIRAE: Sha-ZAM! I just got myself another day! It was clearly either me or her goin', and though I hated usin' my idol this early, I know fo' sho' she goin' now!

FRANCESCA: Desirae's play is so cheap! I am guaranteed to be toast now... and if it were anyone other than me tonight, I would be surprised...

- J -

Chris returned with a box of cookies. "If you get a cookie, you get to stick around... like Desirae, who gets the first cookie with her clever idol play!" Chris threw a D-shaped cookie at Desirae.

"Payson is also safe!" Chris gave Payson a cookie shaped like the letter P.

"And so is Zakeri!" A Z-shaped cookie was thrown in Zakeri's direction.

"And Ireland!" Ireland gladly caught her I-shaped cookie.

It was just down to Francesca and Ross.

"It shouldn't have to be like this, Rasta," Francesca said, grabbing on to Ross's hand.

"Me nuh wanted it dis way, too," Ross said.

"Well, another couple gets to be split up!" Chris said. "Three in a row! I guess it's a bad thing to be in a showmance, huh? Anyway, the last cookie goes to..."

Francesca was fidgeting nervously.

"It's me going," she said quietly.

"Don' worry," Ross assured her quietly. "Ev'ry'ting be all right in de en'."

"I'm not so sure," Francesca said, still being nervous.

- A -

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- Z -

"Francesca!" An F-shaped cookie was thrown in Francesca's direction.

"No... freakin'... way!" Francesca said. "I'm safe?"

"Oh, this can't be fo' real!" Desirae protested.

"Yah, mon... it be true," Ross admitted. "Me be leavin' instead."

"But I was sure it was going to be one of us," Francesca said.

"No, me nuh lie," Ross said. "Me be de reason you two oomon be fighting. Me figure if dese two oomon have not'ing to fight over, den dere nuh be a reason for any more fighting. Franny-girl... Desirae... me sorry. Me asked me friends to vote me off in your place and... me sorry."

"It's true," Zakeri said. "He did tell us to vote for him."

"Yeah, and why are you freaking out? You're still here, aren't you?" Ireland assured the two girls, patting them both on the back.

"I know, but..." Francesca cried. "It's going to be hard without him..."

Desirae saw Francesca crying and comforted her. "There, there, girl... I'm sorry too for everythang I done. It's over now."

"And I'm sorry too," Francesca said. "I hope we can still be friends after this, though."

"Oh, we will be, girl," Desirae said. "We will be."

- J -

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FRANCESCA: Wow... that Bonfire Ceremony was the first time I actually cried... I don't know if I ever did that before. Okay, except for the times when I was a baby. I cried a lot then. I think this is the first time I've cried as a teenager... all because what Desirae and I did cause me to lose Rasta. Okay, from now on, if I'm going to fight with someone, it's going to be from one of the other teams!

- J -

The Boat of Losers was at the Dock of Shame once again. It had picked up seven other people today, but didn't take them out of the game like it was going to with Ross.

"Bye, Rasta!" Desirae said, as Ross boarded. "We gon' miss you!"

"We'll keep Team Beta around for you!" Francesca said.

"Ev'ryt'ing be okay!" Ross said. "Me be t'inkin' 'bout you too! No worry, no cry!"

"Hope you enjoy the Playa!" Payson said waving at Ross as the boat departed.

"Me will!" Ross said. "Me nuh here anymore, but me wit' you in spirit!"

"Bye!" Ireland shouted, as the boat left the dock for good, carrying Ross with it. As the five remaining Team Beta members bid a final farewell to Ross, Chris addressed the viewers.

"Well, I would've expected everyone to be at each other's throats by now, but you all know that's going to happen eventually!" Chris said to the viewers. "Ten episodes down, sixteen to go! Will anyone be truly safe thanks to this new twist? And will they be safe when I introduce others later on in the season? Find out next time, on Total..."

The camera zoomed out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zoomed out again.

"...Alpharama!"

VOTING HISTORY:

Ross (4) - Ireland, Payson, Ross, Zakeri

Francesca (1) - Desirae

Desirae (1) - Francesca (nullified)

Episode 11: For 1,000 "K"'s

Dock of Shame, meet Chris' feet. Chris' feet, meet the Dock of Shame. "Last time, on Total Drama Alpharama..."

Viewers, meet some footage from the previous episode. Footage from the previous episode, meet the viewers.

"It can really suck to be picked last. It can suck even more if you're not picked at all! Six of the campers thought they were all going to be eliminated, but I pulled out yet another twist by bringing back Team Omega! Yeah, I may be sadistic, but hello? I'm not that cruel to just toss six people at once, though it would be a great ratings-booster! Anyhoo, the teens tried to put together some jigsaw puzzles. Team Beta had some puzzle pieces, but they had no peace, as Desirae and Francesca tried to tear each other apart! While York and Luna did the same to their puzzle. It wasn't puzzling why Team Beta went back to the Bonfire Ceremony again. Desirae tried to stomp all over Francesca's heart by handing me an Invincibility Idol in the hopes that she will be with her dreadlocked beau Rasta... but in an ending fourteen out of eighteen campers did not see coming, he broke both those girls' hearts when he decided the fight was too much for him. But hey, at least they're still here. I'm sure they'll be able to settle their differences... shyeah, right!"

Viewers, meet Chris McClean again.

"Seventeen remain! Keep your keesters on those couches, kiddies, for another killer episode of Total..."

The camera zooms out.

"...Drama..."

The camera zooms out again.

"...Alpharama!"



[TEAM ALPHA - LUXURY CABIN]

"Tai hao la! 10,000 points!" Hektor said, as he got another power-up in his latest session of Super Plumber Bros. Champion's Edition X on the Swii, where he was playing against Ward.

"No fair, that's cheating!" Ward said, as he tried to pick up Hektor's character by throwing him into the lava, but Hektor used his mad gaming skillz to dodge the attack! He touched the flagpole at the end and claimed another victory!

"How the heck are you so GOOD at this game?" Ward said. "I haven't even completed ONE level by myself yet, and I keep dying a lot."

"Oh, it takes practice, my friend," Hektor said. "You will master the game one day."

- K -

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HEKTOR: Ward and I make such a great duo. I may not like York, but I do like that she brought us together yesterday, so in retrospect, she can't be as bad of a villain as she claims to be!

WARD: Now that my bro Hektor's on my team again, we can start sleeping in the same bedroom again! ...AND NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, YOU SICKO! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, OKAY?!

- K -

"'You will master the game one day'," Ashlynn said, while imitating Hektor's voice. She was currently playing a game of pool against Luna. "Wanna bet that he doesn't? I'm pretty sure the only thing he has mastered is how to break the sound barrier."

"Cool, then he should get into the Guinness Book of World Records!" Luna said, taking her shot.

"NOT THE LAVA AGAIN!" Ward shouted from the other side of the room, causing Ashlynn to cover her ears. "WHY?"

"In my opinion, he is the Guinness Book of World Records," Ashlynn said, rolling her eyes.

"No way!" Luna said in shock. "He can't be a book! He's a person!"

"Somehow I find that hard to believe," Ashlynn replied, as she sank another ball.

- K -

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ASHLYNN: Okay, York, what sick joke are you trying to play on me? You know that I couldn't stand Ward's shouting when we were both on Team Beta, so why are you putting me on the same team with him now? Before Total Drama, the loudest noise I have ever heard was little Jayden crying... and now I'm actually starting to miss that! Somehow I regret leaving him behind... he must need me now more than ever... but I am doing this not just for me, but to make his life better as well! At least he's still in good hands with mom and dad...

LUNA: Wow, I must be hearing things. Back at high school, people tell me that they find it hard to believe that I'm a person. Now they're telling me that they find it hard to believe that someone else is a person. So I guess that I'm not the worst person on the team after all! Yay!

- K -

Luna sank another shot, and the pool ball not only sank into one hole, but rolled out of another hole and managed to hit another ball next to it, rolling it into yet another hole and doing the same thing to the other balls on the table!

"No way..." Ashlynn said in astonishment. "I don't think that's even possible!"

"Hey, where are Yorkie and Blainey?" Luna asked. "They're missing this!"

- K -

Yorkie and Blainey... I mean, York and Blaine were in one of the bedrooms. York was relaxing on a large plush bed.

"It feels SO GOOD to be back in the Luxury Cabin again," York said in relief. "This is the bedroom of a princess!"

"A bedroom She Who Will Not Be Named will never get," Blaine remarked. "By the way, why did you pick me to be on your team, anyway?"

"Because you are the clearly among the sexiest competitors left in the game, snookie-wookie!" York said in a cutesy voice. "And to make up for leaving you on that poor island by yourself... oh, I wish I had known beforehand that that was part of the twist... but hey, it beats leaving you to be voted off, right?"

"Yeah, and once again, thanks for saving me!" Blaine said, as he unpacked. Then York grabbed onto him and thrust him onto the bed with her.

"And now... you studly hunk of a man, I want to give you something else!" York said to Blaine with passion in her eyes.

"What is it?" Blaine said, a bit nervous. His response was York closing her eyes, and planting a big kiss on Blaine's lips! Blaine didn't know what to say. The kiss lasted for like ten... maybe twenty seconds!

- K -

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BLAINE: The first time I share a bedroom with York... and no one else... she starts kissing me... on the lips! Wow... I thought all the girls would have turned me down after what I did earlier, but York really got into it! She must be into me that much...

YORK: Night 10 was the best night of Season 5. I got to kiss the drama king of the cast... and no, ladies, you can't have him, he's taken!... and judging by his expression, he really liked it! Oh, and you can forget about all the other showmances forming this season, because they won't even compare to this one! This will be the showmance that everyone will be talking about the next day... I'm not kidding. It'll be on every blog, ClipTube, everywhere.

- K -

[TEAM OMEGA - SECOND-PLACE CABIN (formerly the boys' cabin from the Dual Cabins)]

"Congratulations to us six all surviving what would have been our last day out here!" Connor said to the other five members of his new team.

"Omega ownage, ese!" Quillon shouted, as he unpacked.

"Let the other two teams get cocky," Talwen said. "That's when we'll be able to hit 'em where it hurts!"

"Yeah!" Quillon agreed.

- K -

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CONNOR: It feels like a week ago since I remember being assigned to Team Omega... my, how things have changed since I returned! We seem to have picked up some new members, each with their own brand of special talents... maybe this will be the team that will allow me to avenge Nevaeh and make it to the merge?

TALWEN: Okay, I know that Ward, my closest ally out here, is now switched to Team Alpha, and, let's face it... we're probably never going to beat his team in a pure strength-based challenge. It's times like this that I actually miss Ward and his majestic muscles... the Herculean physique to contrast this stick figure you see before you! Ward... I will leave the cabin window open tonight... and I will be thinking of you. [She sighs.]

- K -

"The merge shouldn't be too far away, if Chris is sticking with his alphabet theme," Odessa said.

"Yeah, today was the letter J, tomorrow is K, the day after that is L, and the day after that is M," Unique said. "So yeah, three days away!"

"Here's to not voting anyone off until then!" Quillon said.

"I'm getting so excited about this, I can barely sleep!" Gareth said. "But I might as well, since the earlier I sleep, the earlier I can get up tomorrow!"

"Okay, let's turn in for tonight!" Connor replied. The six contestants were about to get into their beds, when Gareth tried to climb onto the high bunk. However, he slipped and fell down his ladder.

"Ow!" Gareth said. "That has to hurt!"

"Are you okay?" Connor said, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Gareth replied. "Let me try again!" Gareth tried to climb onto the high bunk again, and once again, he slipped and fell down.

"Um... does anyone have a bottom bunk they can spare?" Gareth asked.

- K -

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QUILLON: We barely made it past the first elimination after this new swap, but if there's one thing holdin' us back, homes... it could be our vato Gareth. He's survived this long because his team has had other fish to fry, but... we don't want to vote anyone off at this point, but he could be the first to go if we don't have no other choice, man.

GARETH: The main reason I don't want my team to lose these upcoming challenges is because I fear that my name would probably come up for elimination at this point! I want to make the merge! I think York will make it to that point too, and when she sees me, she'll have to give me another chance! I will show her once and for all!

- K -

The six Team Omega members settled down into their beds. Gareth was on a bottom bunk, while Connor chose to bunk on top. Quillon and Odessa shared a set of beds, while Talwen and Unique slept in the same set of beds.

It's at this point that Talwen's eyes started to open, worrying about something. Unique's eyes started to open at the same time as Talwen's.

"Whoa," Unique said quietly to Talwen. "What's up with you?"

"Yeah, I'm... just thinking about something," Talwen said. "And you?"

"Yeah, me too..." Unique said. "Just... thinking about something."

"Um... okay," Talwen replied. "Good night."

"Night, Talwen," Unique said, and went to sleep. But Talwen couldn't sleep. She quietly climbed down from the top bunk, opened the drawer, took out her diary, went back up to the top bunk, and started writing in it.

- K -

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TALWEN: I couldn't sleep that night, so I started writing a poem to pass the time. It's called "Ode to a Goliath", and it goes like this... [She clears her throat.] "The goliath, unmatched in might, leveling his foes on a whim... But he made a friend that night, for I fell in love with him. But fate has been unkind, attempting to end what we did start. The two of us were torn apart. Will destiny once again make our paths entwined?" And if you don't know the two main subjects of the poem, then you are a disgrace to the poetry circuit, my friend. However, I do plan to show this poem to my teammates later on, since what the heck! They're probably going to read through my journal anyway!

ODESSA: Quillon showed me this poem Talwen wrote last night, about this girl who fell in love with a goliath... she didn't tell me what those two represented, though. I don't think it's about me and Quillon though... not once during any of the swaps have the two of us ever been "torn apart"! But it could be about anyone else... maybe Talwen herself?

UNIQUE: Yeah, I read Talwen's poem. Somehow I feel like the girl in the poem, because I've been torn apart... not just from a "goliath"... but also a "David", who had probably been a rival of this "goliath". But with Zakeri and Hektor both on other teams, I may have to keep my options open! Connor and Gareth are nice friends, and no offense to either of you two, but Quillon looks promising... he's sort of an "Alejandro Jr.", if you will... except more likable. I only hope he's not taken!

- K -

[TEAM BETA - THIRD-PLACE CABIN (formerly the girls' cabin from the Dual Cabins)]

The five remaining members of Team Beta returned from the Bonfire Ceremony, wishing to never again speak of the argument that went on that day... though they did speak of Ross' sacrificial move.

"He voted himself off so the rest of us can continue," Francesca said.

"All I'm sayin' is I wouldn't have done that, y'all," Desirae said. "But he did what he did... life goes on. Let's start bein' the team he wanted us to be!"

"Good idea!" Payson said, and as soon as he finished unpacking, he picked up several mats and placed them on the floor.

"Okay, what is this?" Zakeri asked.

"Um, master Zakeri... bro... I'm ready for my martial arts lesson!" Payson said.

"Isn't it a bit late to be learning martial arts?" Zakeri asked.

"Not when we're a member behind the other teams, it ain't!" Payson said.

Zakeri sighed and said, "All right. Let's get this over with."

- K -

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ZAKERI: I was going to wait until next morning to start the martial arts training, but Payson wanted to train right away, just after we got back from voting! He's just that eager... but then again, he possesses the qualities you'd be looking for in a teammate! I am proud to be his martial arts teacher!

PAYSON: We're in the double-digit episodes now, man, and these challenges are startin' to get serious, yo! We need to be at our best! The merge is comin' up soon, and we are not lettin' the other two teams outnumber our team! I'm assumin' the K challenge is a karate or a kung fu challenge, and the quicker I practice my kicks, the quicker I can bounce back into this!

- K -

Zakeri was placing some wooden boards out, and Payson was practicing trying to break them in half with his feet! After about several tries, he managed to break one of the boards using a flying leap kick!

"Wow, not bad for your first day!" said Zakeri.

"Your kicks are definitely impressive!" Ireland said to Payson.

However, while Ireland was watching Payson's kicks, Desirae and Francesca were watching Zakeri.

"Daaaaaang, I ain't never had this guy teach me martial arts," Desirae said to Francesca.

"You haven't been on a team with him as long as I have," Francesca said. "He's so hot!"

"Yeah, I'd like some of that for myself too, sug'," Desirae said.

Just then Desirae and Francesca looked at each other.

"Wait a minute..." Francesca said to Desirae. "This is just like last time, isn't it... the two of us wanting the same hot guy?"

"Yeah, you sho' right," Desirae said. "But we don't want it to escalate like it did this mornin'."

"If only there was some way to settle this," Francesca said in thought.

- K -

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FRANCESCA: Name one girl in this game who hasn't fallen head over heels for Zakeri! ...Ah, you couldn't think of any! He's just that smexy! And of course, Desirae... and possibly Ireland as well... would like his smokin'-hot bod! I worry if all those girls keep piling themselves over him, he won't have any left!

- K -

"Wait a minute!" Desirae said. "We both love Rasta, and we both love Zakeri! So maybe by the end of the season, one of the two of us can have Rasta, and the other can have Zakeri!"

"Yeah, that's a great idea!" Francesca said. "But it'll be tough for us to choose! And I worry that he might still be with Unique over on Team Omega..."

"Yeah, these love triangles can do that to a girl, huh?" Ireland said when she heard the two girls talking, and walked over to them.

"Tell me about it, sug'," Desirae said.

"Yeah, I know Ross and Zakeri are hot and all, but I made a decision to stick with Kieran as my boyfriend and leave it at that," Ireland said.

"We both want Rasta and Zakeri, but we can't have both," Francesca said.

"Tell you what," Desirae said. "Whichever of the two of us gets voted off first gets to be with Rasta at Playa de Losers, and whoever stays gets Zakeri... that is, assuming he ain't voted off before then."

"Yeah, it's tough, but at least it's fair," Ireland said.

"Sounds like a nice deal," Francesca said. "I guess I'll agree to it!"

Desirae and Francesca shook hands.

- K -

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IRELAND: Sometimes I like having to settle the disputes between my teammates... and I didn't even have to do much of anything this time! It just... happened!

DESIRAE: If I stick around, I get to be with Zakeri, the king of kung fu. If I go, Rasta will be back at the Playa waitin' for this sista! Win or lose, I'd probably be satisfied either way! Yeah, baby! I'ma get me a man before the game ends!

- K -

- DAY 11 -

[MESS HALL]

For breakfast, the seventeen kids got some kiwi juice and kumquats that Chef gave them, and the food went straight from his kitchen to their kidneys! What a kickstart!

Several of the campers who had been separated from their previous showmance partners quietly began to stare at them. Talwen had her eyes focused on Ward, while Unique was trying to keep her eyes on both Hektor from Team Alpha and Zakeri from Team Beta. Meanwhile, both Desirae and Francesca were keeping their eyes on Zakeri the entire time. Blaine and York stared longingly into each others' eyes as well. Like a whole lot. Gareth was also staring longingly at York.

"Challenge time!" Chris announced over the PA system. "I hope you're O-'K' with having a challenge just after you've finished eating, but it's a challenge you'll like really, seriously want to win this time! I'm not kidding!"

- K -

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QUILLON: I think I can safely say the next challenge can only be found on Total Drama, and like nowhere else, man. Besides, I don't even think you can do this challenge with a straight face! [He laughs.]

- K -

[CHALLENGE FIELD]

A brightly-colored playpen with several cute kittens playing inside greeted the contestants. The kittens meowed and purred while the campers stared at them in awe. All of them smiled and/or laughed. Chris was there was well, and Alyssa was standing beside him with her trusty notepad.

"Oh, how cute!" Odessa said. "Look at the cute kitties!"

"Seriously, what's with the kittens?" York said, giggling. "Is Chris taking the alphabet theme too far?"

- K -

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BLAINE: Yep. The next challenge involved... you're not going to believe this... ...kittens! Yes, this is definitely the manliest challenge in Total Drama history! I tell ya, this challenge just oozes testosterone! [He laughs.]

TALWEN: So? I have no problem with the challenge being about kittens! Sometimes in a game as stressful as this, all we need is a kitten break now and then! It's times like this I regret not taking my camera to challenges... the pictures of these kittens would look nice on the walls of the cabins!

PAYSON: I guess I learned all that karate for nothin'. But still... kittens! I admit it, I like kittens... like a whole lot. And I can't think of anyone here who don't love 'em, bro!

- K -

"Campers," Chris said, holding up a giant letter K. "K... is for kittens! Today's challenge is called Kitten Kaboodle, and this challenge would not be possible without the generous donations provided by our newly-hired intern! Come on out, Winnie!"

A blond-haired girl wearing a catgirl costume appeared. She was holding a grey kitten with tiny orange stripes on its fur. The kitten purred when the girl rubbed its belly. The kitten also had a blue key on a chain around its neck.

"Hello, everybody!" Winnie said. "I hope you're all having fun this fine Caturday morning!" The contestants laughed at Winnie's joke.

- K -

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ASHLYNN: Seriously, she's saying "Caturday" instead of "Saturday"... I'm thinking Chris just gave her a script to read cheesy lines off of! [laughs]

- K -

"K... is also for key! Seriously, one of you campers had to have noticed the big freakin' key around that kitten's neck just now... what's the kitten's name, by the way?" Chris asked Winnie.

"Kanata," Winnie said. Kanata meowed.

"Wow, Kanata sounds like a cool name!" Connor said. "Is that your kitten, Winnie?"

"I wish!" Winnie said. "That cute kitty belongs to someone else though, I'm taking good care of it for him... he really likes cats, just like I do!"

- K -

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WINNIE: Maxwell... if you're watching this... Kanata is in good hands!

KANATA: Meow!

[Onscreen caption: I can has cheezburger? Tell Chef 2 feed me, NAO!]

- K -

"Anyway, your challenge is to find the keys that have your team color!" Chris continued explaining the challenge. "Thirty of these ninety kittens will have keys of the color you're looking for, but keep in mind, contestants... only five of those thirty keys will be able to unlock that big honkin' box with your team logo on it! Inside it is a kite... you know, because... K is for kite. You know, one of those papery things you fly on a summer day? Or rather, it contains a kite-building kit, because you will be making your kite! If you can manage to keep your kite in the air for a full thirty seconds, you will win invincibility!"

The seventeen contestants cheered.

- K -

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LUNA: Now this is a challenge I like! Cute kitties... and the opportunity to fly a pretty kite in the air! It was a challenge I've always wanted to see on Total Drama since season 1... thank you, Chris, for finally reading the e-mail I sent to you! Of course, I made the font color hot pink so he'd have no choice but to read it!

ASHLYNN: Though this challenge is nice, and probably fun, I may have a bit of a disadvantage. The kittens are cute, yes, but... well...

- K -

"Team Omega, you have the Helping Hand medallion. If you use it now, you will be given an advantage, and one of the purple keys will automatically be found for you, so you will have to find four keys instead of five, and you will only have to keep your kite in the air for ten seconds instead of thirty. So, if you want to make the other two teams work even harder for invincibility, I'd use it if I were you," Chris told Team Omega.

The group of six considered their options on whether or not to use the medallion.

- K -

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QUILLON: The last time our team used the medallion, the other team like came out of nowhere and beat us, ese. On most of these challenges, teams that had the advantage ended up losing to the other team, and I don't want to get burned again, man. We're playin' it safe for now!

- K -

"We're savin' the medallion for later, homes," Quillon said, holding onto the medallion.

"Wow, what a wuss," Chris said. "Okay then. It's your funeral. But keep in mind that tomorrow's challenge is the last one where you can use that thing, so if you want to save it 'till then, that's fine... but... whatev. Since you didn't use it, this does leave you on equal playing ground with the other teams, so if you want that, then who am I to stop you? I'm just sayin' is all."

"Yeah, we're still sticking with our decision," Connor said.

"Okay, okay," Chris said.

- K -

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ODESSA: Sometimes with all these twists, we might need to take a chance and play fair for now... the last premerge challenge will probably be the toughest of them all! But I hope this doesn't come back to haunt us.

YORK: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! [sighs] I can tell from that decision alone that our team is going to win again! The merge is getting closer and closer!

- K -

"This is an invincibility challenge you want to come first in, because there is a twist later on that begins with the letter K!" Chris told the contestants. "Okay, the challenge begins..."

Chris opened up a door on the playpen, and in an instant, all ninety kittens inside left the playpen and scattered to various locations in the camp before the campers could react.

"...NOW!"

- K -

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IRELAND: I could really feel concern for those poor kitties... I mean, I would probably do the same thing he would if they were trapped in, like a cage... but there could be wild animals in the forest that could kill them! I hope they're okay...

WARD: Just I was about to reach into the playpen and grab those keys off those cats, Chris opens the pen and they just like flew out of there before I could do anything! Just like that one time the football flew past me before I could catch it... HEY! WHAT'S SO FUNNY? I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD FOOTBALL PLAYER, BUT I'M NOT PERFECT! IT WAS JUST ONE MISTAKE!

- K -

The seventeen contestants were scouring the campgrounds looking for the kittens that had the keys. But those kittens were fast!

Several of the kittens had already run off into the forest. Payson and Hektor were chasing several of them, and were about to catch them when the two kittens both climbed up one of the tall trees!

"Aw man, do I have to climb one of these trees again?" Payson said, as he climbed up that tree. The nearby branch was were both of the kittens were lying on. One of the kittens had a green key around its neck, and the other kitten had a red key.

Payson approached the kitten that had a red key... but it leapt from that tree branch to a branch from another tree before Payson could grab it!

"I don't think it likes you," Hektor told Payson.

"Thanks for reminding me, yo," Payson replied.

- K -

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PAYSON: It's like these kittens have it out for me! Well, the other kitten stayed still, but it had a key I didn't need... but my bro Hektor was there, so I did the only thing I could...

- K -

Payson picked up the sleeping kitten with the green key, and threw it toward Hektor. "Catch, bro!" Payson shouted. Hektor caught the kitten in its arms, and while the kitten tried to wriggle out of Hektor's grasp, the mathlete was able to retrieve the key from its neck!

"Cool, you got one!" Payson said. "Now, how about doin' a bro a favor and gettin' that other one for me?"

"Sorry!" Hektor said, and ran off. Payson was scared.

- K -

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HEKTOR: I could have returned the favor and helped Payson out, but... it was the heat of the moment, and I just wanted to try my key out. Besides, I know Payson's climbed several trees before... he'll be fine!

- K -

Payson looked at the tree that the kitten with the red key was perched on. He had just climbed a tree, and he was going to climb another?

"This is ridiculous, yo," Payson said, and climbed down the tree he was on, and began to climb the other one.

- K -

Meanwhile, Hektor had raced toward the green Team Alpha lockbox. Ashlynn was just standing there, not doing anything.

"Hi, Hektor," Ashlynn said.

"Hey, Ashlynn," Hektor said, as he tried inserting his key into one of the five locks, hoping one of them was correct. The first one didn't work, so he tried the second one. That one didn't work either, so he tried the third.

"Aiyaah!" Hektor said, as the third one didn't work. He tried the last two, and both of them were wrong. "Well, I guess I'd better find another kitten then," Hektor said.

"Good luck," Ashlynn replied. "I'll be right here, waiting."

"Wow... aren't you going to help us go after those kittens?" Hektor asked with concern.

"I would, but the thing is..." Ashlynn started to reply.

Just then, a kitten with a purple key around its neck ran past Ashlynn, and Connor chased after it and picked it up. "Gotcha!" Connor shouted, as he grabbed the purple key. While Connor was trying his key out on the purple lockbox, the kitten got out of Connor's grasp, and rubbed up against Ashlynn's leg. Ashlynn let out a small sneeze.

"Bless you," Hektor said to Ashlynn.

"Sorry," Ashlynn said. "It's just a small cold... don't worry about me."

"Okay," Hektor said, as Hektor ran off, while Connor was still trying out the locks.

- K -

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ASHLYNN: Okay, the real reason why I couldn't help much with the challenge is because... well... I'm allergic to cats. There, I said it. I mean, I don't hate cats in general, and they're nice to look at, but when I get near them, I tend to sneeze. But Jayden really likes them, and I promised him I would get him one after the show. I miss him so much...

- K -

Payson had climbed the tree to the branch where the kitten was. He had inched over to where the kitten was resting, but just as he was about to grab the kitten, it leaped onto the branch of the other tree!

"What the dilly-o?" Payson asked in shock.

- K -

Meanwhile, both Talwen and Unique were going after the same purple-key-carrying kitten, who had just darted off into another area of the forest. The kitten was resting in a curled-up position on top of a tree stump.

"Wait," Unique said to Talwen. "I think I've got this."

Unique approached the kitten slowly, and just stood there in a seductive pose, expecting the kitten's eyes to turn to heart signs and fall in love with her.

- K -

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UNIQUE: For most of these challenges that involve animals, these creatures tend to fall in love with me. The alligators, the bears, the elephants... and I could've sworn there was a chipmunk that winked at me that one time. I was hoping that the pattern would continue and the kitten would be easy...

- K -

The kitten just took a small look at Unique, but instead of its eyes turning to heart signs, the kitten just stood there and licked its paw.

"Okay, let me try this again," Unique said. Unique slowly approached the kitten, but just as Unique was about to grab the key, the kitten hissed angrily at her, and jumped off the stump into a set of bushes further into the forest.

"Shoot..." Unique said. "It got away."

Talwen giggled. "Seriously, Unique, what were you doing?"

Unique sighed. "I think I've lost my mojo, haven't I?"

"There, there," Talwen said, patting Unique on the back. "It was just one kitten out of ninety... who knows... maybe the others will still be interested."

Unique smiled. "Thanks," she said to Talwen.

Just then, the two girls could see some rustling in the bushes. Talwen slowly edged her way toward the bushes, where the kitten was sleeping, clutching the key in its paws.

"Watch out," Unique said. "It'll probably run off again."

But Talwen was able to tickle her finger on the kitten's neck, caressing it and causing it to purr. The sleeping kitten slowly loosened its grip on the key and Talwen picked it up.

"You're good," Unique said to Talwen.

"Hey, I have five cats back at home, so I'm experienced," Talwen replied, as she headed toward the purple lockbox.

"Good luck!" Unique shouted to Talwen. "I'll look around some more!"

- K -

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UNIQUE: Yesterday, I didn't get picked to be on a team, and it seems these animals just aren't interested in me anymore. But it had no problem giving the key to Talwen... not to sound jealous of her or anything, but... still, I'm glad one of us was able to get that key!

TALWEN: Nightshade really loves when I do that to its neck. In fact, I tend to do that a lot to him, because, let's face it, he just loves to curl up on my diary, and it's the only way I can get him off it!

- K -

In a clearing near the forest, a kitten was about to run away from Francesca, but the tomboy successfully caught up to the kitten, and grabbed the red key around its neck. Zakeri had no problem snatching another red key away from a kitten that ran past him.

"Wow, we've gotten two keys already!" Francesca said.

"Let's go back," Zakeri said.

Just as the two of them emerged from the clearing toward the red lockbox, they saw Desirae and Ireland, who have both picked up a red-key-carrying kitten each. The kittens were trying to wriggle their way from the girls' grasps.

"You're not going anywhere!" Ireland said. "Even though you are so cute..." Ireland rubbed the kitten's stomach, trying to calm it down.

"Okay, we got these crazy cats, y'all," Desirae said. "Grab those keys!"

Francesca and Zakeri were able to snatch the red keys from the two feisty kittens before they could even scratch them.

"Wow, four keys in less than a minute," Zakeri observed. "Considering we're a member behind the other teams, this is good!"

- K -

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FRANCESCA: Four keys at once... if this keeps up, we'd be unstoppable! We just lost one of our members, and we're not losing another, thanks!

ZAKERI: I really think we might be able to turn this challenge around... yeah, I know, I'd be crazy for thinking that all four of those keys will unlock the box... but then again, crazier stuff has happened this season!

- K -

Talwen inserted her purple key into the first lock on the purple lockbox... with no success. She tried the second and third locks... and after both have failed to open, she inserted the key into the fourth lock. It opened!

"Yes!" Talwen exclaimed. "One down, four to go!"

- K -

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TALWEN: I don't know how many keys the other teams have, but the first key I found... just happened to be one of the right keys for the box! I could just picture myself flying that kite already... you know, as a nice reward for myself after successfully completing another poem! Colorful kite flying in air... zigzagging through the sky without a care...

- K -

"OH NO YOU DON'T! GET BACK HERE!" Ward shouted as the kitten he was trying to grab eluded him. Ashlynn, who was still standing right by her lockbox and watching all this, rolled her eyes... and covered her ears.

The kitten he was chasing had the misfortune of ending up in York's path, as she ambushed the kitten and snatched the green key from its neck! She then went over to the green lockbox and tried her key on all five of the locks, and fumed when there was no reaction!

"Well?" York said to Ashlynn. "Aren't you going to do anything?"

"You... you go on ahead, I'll just wait here for now," Ashlynn said. After York wiped some cat hair off of her body, Ashlynn let out another small sneeze.

"Okay... suit yourself," York said coldly to Ashlynn, and ran off to look for another key.

- K -

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YORK: Ashlynn is a floater. She is the weak link in an otherwise strong team, and she showed me one of her weaknesses in the challenge. Plus, I know she was aligned with my boyfriend earlier... and you don't come between me and my boyfriend! Got it, missy?

ASHLYNN: Sometimes it's a good thing having to stand behind... no cat hair to touch, and a good distance from when Ward happens to scream, which could be often... the first part of the challenge may not be my cup of tea, but I hope to make up for it in the kite-flying part! I plan to make one that I think Jayden back home will like...

- K -

Four Team Beta members returned to the red lockbox with a key. Zakeri tried a key on each of the five locks. Nothing. Francesca tried her key on them. Again, nothing. Desirae tried her key out, and met with the same result as the others. Finally, Ireland tried her key, and the middle lock clicked and opened!

"Well, we've got one of them!" Ireland said. "Only four more to go, and if luck is on our side, we could sweep this challenge!"

"Yeah, but it was lucky that those kittens were all close together," Zakeri said. "I have the feeling those kittens we need are going to get tougher to find later on."

- K -

Payson had climbed the first tree once again... once again, approaching the kitten he was trying to catch earlier. It had almost gotten in his grasp, when the kitten scratched him before he could grab the key! It ran away from him, key still around its neck, and leaped to the other tree, this time on a higher branch.

"You've gotta be kiddin' me, yo!" Payson exclaimed.

- K -

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PAYSON: Or maybe it should have been, "You've gotta be KITTEN me!" You know, because of the kitten theme and everything.

- K -

Meanwhile, on the Dock of Shame, some kittens with keys on their necks were walking around. They were looking at some of the fish that had been caught (presumably by Chef), and the kittens just pawed at the fish, wanting to take a bite. Unbeknownst to them, Blaine and Odessa were approaching them!

"You cannot escape!" Blaine said. He tried to reach out and grab the green key... the kitten ran toward the edge of the Dock of Shame! The kitten did not want to jump into the water, since it did not want to get wet, obviously. Blaine ran up to it, and picked the kitten up. "Gotcha!"

However, the part of the Dock of Shame was still a bit flimsy, and it gave way and collapsed, dropping Blaine and the kitten into the water! After Odessa had wrested her purple key from the kitten she captured, she noticed Blaine and the kitten in the water, and immediately rescued both of them! After they emerged, Odessa noticed that Blaine had grabbed the green key from the kitten while they were still in the water.

Also, Blaine and Odessa held their noses. "Peeeyew!" Odessa said. "What is that smell?"

- K -

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ODESSA: I know that dogs smell bad when their fur gets wet, but I didn't think the kitten would smell that bad when wet! Sadly, my nose wasn't lying to me...

BLAINE: My sister wanted a cat for her birthday. Well, she can have this one! And I'm probably not going to dry off its fur, just to annoy her!

- K -

Some kittens who were running near the Luxury Cabin may have been fast, but they weren't able to outrun Ward, Francesca, and Quillon, who each picked up a key for their respective teams!

Quillon ran over to Odessa, who was trying her key out on the lockbox. The key didn't work on any of the four remaining locks. And Quillon's key didn't work on those locks either!

"Ay!" Quillon said, as he smelled Odessa. "Somethin' smells really stinky... like a wet dog or somethin'."

"Don't ask," said Odessa, as she and Quillon went off to look for more keys.

Blaine tried his key out on the green lockbox, and it opened when it clicked in the first lock! "Not bad on the first try!" he exclaimed.

"Yay!" Ashlynn said. "We've got this!"

"Me next!" Ward said, as he tried his key out. The key didn't react to any of the four remaining locks. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THIS THING?" Ward shouted, causing Ashlynn to cover her ears.

Francesca tried her key on three of the four remaining locks with no success, but was lucky on the fifth lock. It opened! "Yeah!" she said, pumping her fist in the air. "Two out of five done already! We're gettin' back in this!"

- K -

Two more kittens with green keys around their necks were relaxing near the forest, when Luna happened to show up. She was hunched over and carrying what looked like a long tree branch.

"Hello there, my pretties," Luna said in an old woman voice. "Grandma Lulubelle could use the comfort of some cute kitties like you two, because in my old age, I need it! Hee hee hee hee hee!" She then tickled the kitten's necks and grabbed both of the keys.

- K -

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LUNA: Those young kitties remind me of a few adorable cats I used to have in my younger days... Grandma Lulubelle misses them so. Every time I'd go to the dime store to buy some yarn, they'd play with it before I even took it out of the bag! They're that frisky, I tell ya whippersnappers...

- K -

Gareth was chasing after a kitten who had a purple key, but it ran away just as he was about to approach it. "Not fair!" he shouted. The kitten, however, was noticed by Talwen, who rubbed its head and gave it a kiss on the forehead. The kitten rolled over, and Talwen grabbed the key that was around its neck.

"I think these kittens like when people are affectionate to them," Talwen said. "It's all about giving them what they desire."

"Wait!" Gareth said, having an idea. "That's it!"

As another kitten with a purple key dashed by him, Gareth approached it, and puckered up his lips.

"So..." Gareth said to the kitten with his lips puckered, "do you want a kiss?"

The kitten was obviously frightened, and ran off further into the forest.

- K -

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GARETH: What was that for? Am I not good enough for you, cat?

TALWEN: Gareth has a lot to learn about animal whispering. My guess is that even if he had a cat at home... which I guess most people have when they're feeling lonely... it would probably scratch him.

- K -

A kitten with a red key around its neck was climbing a tall tree, when Zakeri climbed after it, and picked it up, grabbing the key. Ireland chased after another kitten with a simliar-colored key, and grabbed that one too.

Desirae was chasing after another kitten in the same area. "Gotcha, suckah!" she exclaimed. However, when she picked it up, she realized the key around its neck was purple. "Whoops," she said. "My bad!" She put the kitten down, and it ran off. However, she did not make the same mistake with the kitten that was running towards her, as she grabbed the red key off its neck.

- K -

"Consarned keys!" Luna cursed, as the first key she tried on the green lockbox failed to open the four locks. However, the second key worked on the middle lock.

"I tell ya, they don't make these newfangled locks like they used ta," Luna said. Ashlynn noticed Luna still hunched in the old lady position.

"Um, what's with the old lady voice?" Ashlynn asked Luna.

"Hey!" Luna said, raising her tree branch at Ashlynn. "Respect your elders, you goldurned whippersnapper!"

- K -

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ASHLYNN: Luna is really getting into this challenge... she's turned into Crazy Cat Lady now. I bet she's gonna tell hundreds of stories about those so-called cats of hers that don't actually exist!

LUNA: Yep, Sunshine loved to eat the fish my fourth husband would bring back... he loved to catch fish durin' the war, mind ya. Sunshine also liked to eat peanut butter, and even though we ain't allowed to feed peanut butter to cats... are we allowed to feed peanut butter to cats now? …No? Why not, sonny? ...Diarrhea? What is this "diarrhea"? Is this a newfangled word you younguns make up to confuse us old people?

- K -

Talwen tried her key on the four remaining locks, but it didn't work. "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to find another one!" she said. Just then, Connor successfully snagged another purple key off of a kitten that was in the vicinity.

"Well, I guess we have!" Talwen said.

The key Connor tried did not fit any of the four locks either.

"I think those kittens gave us the wrong keys just to mock us," Connor said.

- K -

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CONNOR: Chris just had to make this challenge a luck-based challenge... but since it's a luck-based challenge involving cute kittens, it... sorta makes up for it. But at least it isn't a challenge like finding a needle in a haystack, or, heaven forbid, a challenge like finding a piece of hay in a pile of needles! And let me tell you, those things can be sharp!

- K -

After Ireland's and Zakeri's keys failed to open the three remaining locks, Desirae struck gold when she inserted her key into the first lock.

"Wow, three keys out of the eight we've found have worked," Ireland said. "We're more than halfway done already!"

"Only two more left y'all!" Desirae said. "This group strategy seems to be working, but we need one more of us to pull it off... where Payson at?"

- K -

Payson, climbing the higher branch, approached the stubborn kitten once again. This time, Payson was able to touch the key, but before he could successfully grab the key, the kitten scratched his face! He was rubbing his sore face when he didn't realize he was so high up, and fell off the branch onto the ground below. While he was rubbing his sore body, the kitten jumped to a higher ledge on a different tree.

"Oh, come on!" Payson shouted in frustration.

- K -

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PAYSON: How tall is this tree exactly, yo?

- K -

"Come on, you meowing monsters," York said under her breath, while she was looking for some more kittens. She was walking near the second and third-place cabins. "I wouldn't be doing all this work if one certain girl cooperated!"

Just then, she heard some meowing from underneath one the cabins. There were five kittens, with keys of varying colors, that had crawled under the narrow space underneath the second-place cabin. However, it was dark under there, and York could not make out the colors of the keys the kittens had. She reached her hand under there, but her hand was nowhere near the vicinity of a kitten.

"I think I know how to get them out of here," she said to herself. She then ran over to the Dock of Shame, where Blaine had just gotten another green key off a kitten by distracting it with some fish that he found.

"Sweet!" York said. "I've been looking for that!"

"The key?" Blaine said, showing York the green key. "It's yours if you want it..."

"Well, that, and that fish you have," York said.

Blaine threw the key, as well as the fish into York's arms. "Okay, but there's one hungry kitty that probably wants that fish more than you do." And then he whispered to York, "Give it to him when you're done with it, okay?"

"Got it," York whispered back.

- K -

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YORK: I'm really liking this relationship with Blaine. I give him what he wants, he gives me what I want. I don't know why all the showmances this season aren't like this... but then, I don't care about the other showmances anyway! They're nothing but two floaters making out with each other!

- K -

York used the fish to lure out the five kittens underneath the cabin. However, only one of the kittens had a green key, while two of them had red keys, and the other two had purple keys. "Just one?" York said. "What a ripoff!" But while York grabbed her green key, Francesca and Ireland snagged the red keys from the kittens that came out, while Quillon and Odessa did the same with the purple keys.

"Thanks for the help, York!" Francesca said. "And we thought you'd be a major villain this season!"

York fumed, as she went back to her lockbox with the two green keys she acquired.

- K -

Zakeri and Desirae chased down two more kittens with red keys that were near the third-place cabin. As soon as they grabbed the two keys off the kittens, they high-fived each other.

Hektor had to climb on Ward's shoulders to get another green key from a frisky kitten that had climbed onto a nearby tree.

"Come back here, you!" Talwen shouted to a purple-key-carrying kitten that was about to climb that same tree. While she was doing that, she didn't look where she was going, and bumped into Ward! Her glasses fell off her face while she did this.

"Hey!" Ward shouted. "Watch the bod!"

And before she could do anything, the kitten she was chasing went over to the pair of glasses, and picked them up with its teeth! The kitten ran far away from them before anyone nearby could even catch it!

- K -

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TALWEN: And just like that, I lose my new glasses again. That's two times in the same week I have lost my glasses, and now the world around me is once again a big blur! I could barely make out anything... except for Ward, since he's the biggest and bulkiest out of all of us here. And maybe Hektor. Speaking of, maybe I'll ask Hektor if I can borrow his glasses... he did bring spare glasses with him, right?

HEKTOR: Aiyaah... It must have been so bad for Talwen, but hey... at least those glasses weren't mine! I wish I had brought another pair with me, because the ones I have on are my only pair right now!

WARD: My girl lost her glasses again... should I feel sorry for her because she lost them, or should I want her to keep them off so I can look at that beautiful face of hers... which is so smokin' hot? Oh yeah, SHOW ME THAT PRETTY FACE! SHOW IT!

- K -

The two keys York tried on the green lockbox did not open any of the three locks. "Aw, man, this isn't fair!" she shouted, and ran off.

"Coming through!" Ward said, as he tried his key on the three locks as well. The rightmost lock opened. "YES!" Ward shouted, and Ashlynn covered her ears.

Meanwhile, Quillon and Odessa tried their keys on the four locks of their box. Their keys didn't work on any of the four.

Nearby, Francesca, Ireland, Zakeri and Desirae tried their keys on the two remaining locks. The only key that worked on a lock was the one Desirae found, as it opened the fourth lock. "Sha-ZAM!" Desirae said. "One left, y'all!"

- K -

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DESIRAE: You know, sug', I got a feelin' we gon' win this challenge, since we havin' good luck with findin' keys! My keyring back at home... it don't have that many. Just the car key, and the house keys... and the key to my locker, and the key to my diary... and by the way, about that last one, you ain't gon' touch it! You know what, maybe I shouldn't have told y'all 'bout that.

- K -

Payson was still trying as hard as he can to get that red key from the stubborn kitten, but the kitten eluded him yet again, as he leapt to a higher tree branch. Payson was getting really impatient.

Meanwhile, below him, Gareth was chasing after a kitten that had a purple key around its neck. Gareth was able to grab onto the purple key. "YES!" Gareth shouted. "I got it!"

However, after Gareth grabbed the purple key, the kitten sharpened its claws and went after him with full force. There was a huge cloud of smoke that obscured the fight, preventing Payson (and anyone else probably in the vicinity) from seeing what was going on. After the cloud dissipated, Gareth had a lot of scratchmarks on his face, while the kitten emerged with nary a scratch on its body.

But at least Gareth still held the purple key in his hand.

- K -

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GARETH: That one moment... that moment where I held the purple key in my hands... and I didn't drop it, thank you! That felt so good... I feel like my luck is changing! I feel like I could win this challenge!

PAYSON: Okay, that unlucky boy from Team Omega gets one, and I don't? Somethin's straight messed-up here!

- K -

Some more kittens with purple keys were hanging around near the kitchen of the mess hall. Connor and Unique were chasing after them, and the kittens ran into the kitchen. Where Chef was preparing his next meal for the contestants.

"Yikes... this is not good," Connor said.

"You're tellin' me," Unique replied.

As soon as Connor and Unique tried to enter the kitchen, Chef, with a meat cleaver in his hands, went to the doorway and impeded passage, preventing the two teens from entering.

"Where do you think you're goin'?" Chef said with intimidation in his voice.

- K -

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CONNOR: Okay, so the kittens we were chasing went into the kitchen, and Chef won't even let us get past him! I hope he's not planning on serving us those poor kittens for dinner tonight... though who am I kidding? It's Chef. Only he would do that.

CHEF: Say WHAT? Of course I ain't gonna do that! You know, lawsuits and everythin'. Besides, these dang cats ain't allowed in my kitchen either. But they keep eatin' everything and gettin' into the food... next time I'ma keep the kitchen door locked so it don't happen again.

UNIQUE: You could tell by the size of that meat cleaver that Chef is really serious about not wanting us to enter there! I don't know if any of my charms are going to work on him... perhaps that's why this guy hasn't even gotten a girlfriend yet!

- K -

Gareth tried out his purple key on the four remaining locks of the purple lockbox. It didn't work on the first three locks, so he tried inserting it in the last one. And it got jammed a bit.

"This is just my luck," he said under his breath, as he tried to get the key out of the lock.

- K -

"Come back here, you mangy furball!" York shouted angrily at the green-key-carrying kitten who ran as fast as she can away from her.

"Aw, that reminds me of how fast my Marmalade used to run! I ran like that too when I was your age," Luna, chasing after another green-key-carrying kitten, said in her old-lady voice.

"First off, you're not my age yet," York said. "And second, who freakin' cares?"

- K -

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LUNA: What in blazes is it with these young folk nowadays? In my day, you wouldn't catch me actin' like that! Troublemakers that did that would have their mouths washed out with soap... or maybe that was just for swearing. I don't remember. In any case, soap tastes terrible... my kitties don't want to eat it and neither do I! So don't say nasty things around the elderly if you don't want soap in your mouth, kiddies!

YORK: Oh, nice imitation of Izzy's old lady persona from episode 3 of season 2. And Mike's "Chester" persona from season 4. And spot-on, too. Bravo, Luna. Bravo. I'll be ready to give you your award once you've developed enough to have an actual strategy.

- K -

Gareth was still pulling as hard as he could on his jammed key. "Almost there," he said, as he fiddled around with the key. Meanwhile, another kitten with a purple key around its neck ran past Gareth, and Quillon was chasing it. As soon as Quillon grabbed the purple key off the kitten's neck, he inserted the key in the three locks, but was unsuccessful. He then saw Gareth struggling with his own key.

"Somethin' wrong, man?" Quillon asked.

"Yeah, it's this freakin' key," Gareth said. "It won't move!"

Quillon rubbed his hands together. "Let me take care of this, ese." Quillon pulled as hard as he could on the jammed key, and this time it moved... enough to open the second lock!

"Wow, we've got another one done already!" Gareth said.

- K -

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GARETH: I get a key, and it's one of the five keys that opens the lockbox... yep, I'd say this is the luckiest day of my life so far! I'm so happy!

[Gareth raises his hands in the air, and then a nail falls from the ceiling and hits Gareth in the head.]

- K -

The kittens that York and Luna were chasing ran underneath Chef's legs, as they entered the kitchen and joined the two kittens that Connor and Unique were chasing. Chef growled as he raised his cleaver.

"Urgh!" York growled. "I'll be right back!"

"Yeah, off to do something 'villainous', no doubt!" Connor said. Unique snickered at Connor's joke, while York fumed, and stormed off.

- K -

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CHEF: Don't these foo' kids know when to leave well enough alone? I'm tryin' to make their dinner here!

- K -

Francesca, Zakeri, Ireland and Desirae chased down four more kittens that have red keys around their necks, and all four of them successfully retrieved said red keys. "Dang, we gettin' too good at this," Desirae said.

Unfortunately, the last remaining lock on the red lockbox wouldn't accept either of those four keys. "Oh well, I think we've got at least half of the thirty red keys found already," Ireland said.

"And if we're lucky, we won't need the other half!" Francesca said. "We've probably got this thing in the bag!"

- K -

The kitten that stole Talwen's glasses, still with a purple key around its neck, ran further off into the forest. Talwen was feeling around trying to see where the kitten went. Just then, she noticed Odessa, who was also chasing after a kitten with a purple key, which she then successfully grabbed.

"Oh, perfect timing," Talwen said to Odessa. "You've got sharp eyes... can you find the kitten that stole my glasses? I think it ran off here!"

"Wow," Odessa said. "I don't know what a kitten would want with a pair of glasses anyway, but I'll do my best!" Odessa ran off after the kitten.

- K -

C