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After an unsuccessful All-Stars season, Chris decided that to make a successful season, he'll have to bring back the opposite of All-Stars: the contestants that failed. 20 contestants are back for a second, third, or fourth chance at the money, and all of them are trying to win. Who will fail like before? Who will succeed like never before? Find out on Total Drama: Return of the Rejects, the new Wiki Project!

Chapters

Chapter One- Losers On A Lot

This chapter was written by Epic


Chris stood in front of a large studio, with the number one in front of it, smiling. “Last season, on Total Drama All-Stars, 13 of our most popular, and Sam, contestants returned to the Island. There was drama, heartbreak, action! But...not really. Apparently we got our lowest ratings EVER.” Chris took out a stack of papers and pointed to what was supposed to be the ratings, but because this is a cartoon, appeared as random straight lines. He then threw the papers into the air. “On an All-Stars season too! What a drag. Anyway, Mike, slash Mal, slash Svetlana, slash Vito, slash Chester, slash Manitoba Smith, won the million, and the island went way down under. That’s why we’re here, back on the film lot. Now you might ask, why are we back here, on the location that held the season with the second lowest ratings ever? Well, I’ll tell you--”

“Stop ramblin’ and get to the point!” Chef yelled, from the craft services tent.

“HUSH, CHEF! Anyway, we decided, why not bring our biggest losers back to the biggest loser-y location! 20 of the worst competitors in Total Drama history are back, and they’re all gonna try their hardest to win the money. But let me tell ya, it won’t be easy.” Chris laughed, maniacally. “Which losers will succeed once in their pathetic lives, and which will fail yet again? Find out, right here, right now, on...Total….Drama...Return of the Rejects!”

After the theme song was done playing, the camera panned to Chris who was sitting on a couch, at the end of a red carpet. “Since this season is a movie theme, what a better way to get our contestants in then a limousine and a red carpet? Filled with incredibly annoying paparazzi!” Chris chuckled. “And speaking of getting our contestants in, here comes our first one now!”

A skinny boy with light brown hair and buckteeth stepped out of the limo. He was suddenly swarmed by paparazzi and assorted questions from voices he couldn’t recognize.

“Cody, where’s Sierra?”

“Have you two broken up?”

“What happened?”

“Who...are they?” Cody asked.

“The press, of course!” Chris winked. “Come on Cody, the world wants to know!”

“Me and Sierra haven’t broken up, because we were never together! Geez…” Cody sighed. “Hey, where’s everyone else?”

“You’re the first to arrive! So...have fun with that!” Chris said.

“Fine by me. That reporter is smokin’!” Cody grinned, exposing the gap in his teeth, and ran off.

“Oh, how naive.” Chris chuckled, as the next limo drove up.

A girl in a blue hoodie with a blonde ponytail stepped out of it, and was quickly ambushed, just as Cody was before her.

“Where’s Geoff?”

“Have YOU two broken up?”

“What did he do?”

The girl shrieked. “Please go away!”

“Hah, Bridgette, not used to the paparazzi? You should be, you were on reality TV.” Chris snickered.

“I’m not used to being ambushed.” Bridgette said, sighing.

“Tsk, tsk. I guess someone wasn’t popular enough to get any media attention.” Chris said, glancing at Bridgette, who was glaring at him.

The next limo drove up, and a skinny but buff guy with a cowboy hat stepped out of the limo. “‘Sup dudes?” he said

“Geoff, what happened to you and Bridgette?”

“We’re still together,” Geoff said.

“How do you feel about Blaineley?”

“She’s still aweasel, but Chris would never invite her back.” Geoff said, laughing.

“He’s so...calm.” One of the reporters said, shocked.

“How am I supposed to get the juiciest scoops from him?” one of the female reporters cried.

“I’m full of juicy scoops.” Cody winked. The female reporter walked away slowly.

“Bridgette!” Geoff cried, beginning to run.

“Geoff!” Bridgette said, running towards him. The two then embraced in a hug.

“Boo. Love, happy relationships. Boring.” Chris said. “Here comes our next contestant!” The next limousine arrived, and a skinny brown girl stepped out of it. “Hiiiii!” she yelled, stepping out of the limo.

“Katie, where’s Sadie?”

“Have you two broken off your friendship?”

“What did she do to you?”

“Umm….no?” Katie said, slowly walking backwards, and then falling. “OMG, are we on a red carpet? I’ve always wanted to be on a red carpet! EEEEEEE!” she squealed.

“Oh great, I get to hear that again.” Chris sighed. “Next?”

The next contestant stepped out of the limo, wearing purple work out clothes with a mole. She grimaced as the press swarmed her.

“Eva, where have you been?”

“Why are you making yourself invisible from the media?”

“Are you hiding something?”

Eva growled and yelled, “IF YOU DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE, I’LL SHOE THIS MICROPHONE UP YOUR-”

The reporters shrieked and ran away. “Someone’s a bit on-edge.” Chris said.

“I don’t like reporters.” Eva grumbled.

The next limousine arrived, but no one sat in it. As the door opened, Chris looked confused.

“Um…I think you guys might have lost the contestant on the way. “ Chris said to the limo driver, who jerked his hand to the right, where a red limo drove up. A blonde girl with red sunglasses stepped out of it.

“Did you really need your OWN limo?” Chris said.

“Of course! This is my first exposure to the public after my radiation therapy!” Dakota said, posing and blowing kisses to the camera.

Dakota’s paparazzi then floated in on a hot air balloon.

“Heeeeey booooooys!” Dakota said, starting to pose again.

Chris sighed. “Chef?” Chef smiled and took out a bow and arrow, which he shot at the balloon, which quickly popped, causing the paparazzi to fall. Dakota gasped and ran towards them.

“My entorauge!” she cried.

“Yeah...have fun with that. Next!” Chris said, as the next limo arrived. An orange-looking girl stepped out of the limo, with hairspray in her hand.

“Finally, a new girl!” Cody yelled, excitedly, and ran up to her.

Cody winked and smiled. “Heeeey.” he said to the girl.

“Nope!” she said, in a thick jersey accent.

“But...I only said hey!” Cody cried.

“I can tell when dudes are tryin’ to hit on me. I mean…” Anne Maria poses. “I get it a lot.”

Cody sighed and walked back to the others, as the next limo drove up.

“Yo, yo, yo! Da-Z-man is in da house, playas!” A boy with a thick canadian accent a hoodie and a hat said, stepping out of the limo.

Chris sighed. “Oh, great. He’s here.”

“I couldn’t come to All-Stars, but I’m definitely back for All-Stars 2, yo! Back and better than ever!” Ezekiel said, making unecessary hand motions.

“Um, this isn’t All-Stars…” Chris snickered. “It’s Return of the Rejects.”

“What? I ain’t no reject!” Ezekiel protested.

“Your double last place finishes beg to differ.” Chris deadpanned.

“Whatever! I’m still gonna take home the cash!” Ezekiel said, walking over to the other contestants.

Ezekiel than ran up to Anne Maria. “Sup, yo!” he said. “Still love me for the diamond thing?”

“YOU! You’re da freak who gave me a fake diamond, and made me quit!” Anne Maria shrieked.

“That diamond was fake?” Ezekiel said, looking bewildered. “Woah, coulda fooled me.”

“IT DID FOOL ME! OUT OF A MILLION DOLLARS! Why, I oughta!” Anne Maria rushed at Ezekiel with her fist forward.

“Woah, chill out, ma--” Geoff said, before he was punched and sent to the ground.

“Geoff!” Bridgette cried, running to her boyfriend’s aid.

“Heh-heh, oops…” Anne Maria said, scratching her head. “Well it was his fault for gettin’ in the way, anyway.”

Chris chuckled. “Pain already? I love it. And here comes our next contestant!”

The next limo drove up to the red carpet, an an overweight girl with a pink shirt and a bow in her hair stepped out.

“Not her!” Dakota cried.

“Hi! Did you know that my grandfather’s friends landlord’s son Jeff Probst invented returnees? Before that,reality shows had all new casts every season, ja.” she said.

“Staci. It’s great to have you back.” Chris said, sighing.

“It’s great to be back! My elimination on Revenge of the Island was so unfair, ja.” Staci frowned.

Geoff elbowed Cody. “Aren’t you gonna go hit on her?” he asked.

“Eh…” Cody said, looking at the rather plump Staci.

The next limo drove up and then screeched to a stop, and the next contestant walked out, smiling.

“And here’s our next contestant, B!” Chris introduced. “Say something to the people, B.”

B grabbed a whiteboard out of his jacket and scribbled something on it. He then held it up to the camera where everyone could see it said, “No.”

Chris frowned. “Someone’s a bit sassy today, eh?”

B held up the board again, which still said “No.” Chris glared.

Another limo appeared “Next contestant? And preferably not a MIME.” Chris glared at B once more.

The limo then suddenly exploded, causing the contestants to gasp and smoke to surround the red carpet.

“What the HECK? These were expensive!” Chris coughed through the smoke.

Once the smoke had cleared, a girl with red hair could be seen, laughing .”That was awesome!”

“Izzy, are you serious?” Chris yelled.

“Nope, I’m Izzy, silly!” She said, laughing, and then backflipped into the crowd.

“Next limo should be coming in soon, and hopefully there won’t be a crazy person in it/” Chris said, glancing at Izzy.

Like Chris said, the next limo DID arrive, and an ambiguously brown big-headed boy stepped out of the limo.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the annoying braniac, the irritating know it all, the grating genius, Noah!” Chris introduced, giving a round of applause.

“Wow. I’m so glad to be here. I’m bursting with excitement.” Noah said, completely stone-faced.

“Noah!” Izzy cried, tackling him.

“What do you want, Izzy.” Noah sighed.

“It’s good to see ya! Wait a minute….” Izzy ran to the back of the group. “If you’re here AND Eva’s here, then…”

“Oh god.” Noah sighed.

“Team E-Scope REUNION!” Izzy hollered, grabbing the two and pushing them towards her.

“What’s Team E-Scope?” Geoff whispered to Bridgette, who shrugged.

The next limo drove up, and a brown extremely handsome man stepped out of it. The reporters, who had previously been scared away by Eva, rushed up to see him.

“Justin, give me a shot!”

“No Justin, give ME a shot!” “Justin, will you marry me?”

“There’s enough of me to go around.” Justin said, winking and posing.

“Oh yeah…” Anne Maria said, dreamily.

“I can do that too, you know!” Cody said, beginning to stop in random poses.

“Dude, quit while you’re ahead.” Geoff chuckled, Cody sighed and stopped.

Justin walked into the crowd of contestants, and Anne Maria and Katie quickly jumped on him.

The next limo drove up, and a hulking teen stepped out.

“DJ, do animals still hate you?”

“Why did you cheat, and then quit in Action?”

“Does your MOTHER even like you?”

“Uhh, who are they?” DJ asked.

“They’re the press! Making generalizations and insulting you is their job!” Chris grinned.

DJ awkwardly shuffled to the back behind Justin, who was still being fawned over.

The next limo arrived, and a boy with a green shirt, a guitar, and an abnormally long head stepped out. “Hey.” he waved.

“Here’s our “only casted because we needed another person” guy, Trent!” Chris announced.

“Thanks.” Trent said, sarcastically.

“Welcome to the party, bro!” Geoff said, fist bumping him.

“This is a party?” Noah rolled his eyes.

“Everything’s a party in Geoff’s world!” Geoff said, grinning.

“Sounds...great.” Noah said.

“Alright, I’ve got a pedicure in twenty, so let’s speed this up people! Next limo?” Chris called.

Nothing drove up to the red carpet.

“...I SAID next limo!” Chris said, glaring

Nothing drove up.

“THAT’S A CUE, YOU IDIOTS!” Chris shouted. The limo still didn’t drive up.

“You should calm down. Your aura is blasting red.” A pale girl commented.

“What the? When did you get here?” Chris asked.

“Huh? I’ve been here.” Dawn said.

“But...I mean…”Chris sighed. “Dawn, everyone.”

Cody walked up to Dawn, and smiled. “Hey, babe.”

“Your aura is yellow, representing weakness. You flirt and act confident to hide your own insecurities.” Dawn said.

Cody walked back to the crowd. “I’m just not having ANY luck today, am I?”

“EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME!” A voice called from somewhere nearby.

“What is THAT?” Dakota asked, turning around.

“WOOOOOOOOAH!” the voice screamed, and a muscular boy crashed into Dakota.

“Nice entrance, Tyler.” Chris snickered.

“Get OFF me!” Dakota yelled.

Tyler stood up, and awkwardly chuckled, “Oops.”

“Nice to see your athletic career is still in the making.” Noah said in a monotone voice.

“Yep! I’m rockin’ it!” Tyler said, proudly.

“I think it was sarcasm.” Eva said.

“Oh…hey!” Tyler said, feeling insulted.

Chris snickered. “Two contestants left! And here comes the next one!”

The next limo arrived, and a buff boy in a green whirt with a unibrow marched up to Chris. “It’s a pleasure to be back, sir.”

“Sir?” Noah snickered.

“It’s good to see someone treat me with RESPECT around here. It’s a pleasueee to have you back, Brick.”

“Really?” Brick asked, raising half of his unibrow.

“Yep! Another contestant to torture!” Chris grinned. Brick gulped.

The final limo drove up to the red carpet, and the person who got out of it began to pose.

“OMG! Hi mom! I’m on TV!” she said, waving her hands in the air.

“OMG, Sadie!” Katie cried, running over to hug her plump best friend.

“”KAAAAATIE!” Sadie cried and squeezed Katie first.

“A whole season of this? Exciting.” Noah said, rolling his eyes.

“OMG, I wasn’t with you for a whole EIGHTEEN minutes! It was so scary!” Sadie gasped.

“I know, right!” Katie said, hugging her friend.

“And that’s all nineteen of us. Yep. Nineteen. NO ONE ELSE.” Chris said, chuckling and sweating at the same time.

“Uh...Chris. Aren’t there supposed to be TWENTY this season?” Chef asked, looking at a clipboard.

“NO!” Chris yelled. Chef looked at him, and so did everyone else.

“What’s going on, Chris?” Bridgette said, looking skeptical.

“Nothing.” Chris’s eyes shifted.

A blonde woman in a red dress sat on a couch in mid-air, being brought around by four helicopters. “I think you’re forgetting someone, Christopher.”

Chris’s face turned into a look of horror. “No.”

“Yes!” the lady grinned.

“Why don’t I get flown in on a couch!” Sadie complained.

The lady landed and smiled. “You weren’t going to forget me, were you?”

Through gritted teeth, Chris managed to sputter, “Ladies and gentlemen, our 20th contestant, Blaineley.”

“Really? Her? Of all people?” Bridgette said.

“Someone’s a little jealous.” Blaineley smirked.

“Of you? Yeah, RIGHT.” Bridgette said, rolling her eyes.

“Heh, heh. Tension-y. Alright, these intros have taken WAY longer than anticipated, so we have t speed introduce everything else. Walk with me.” Chris said, and the 20 contestants followed.

Chris and the contestants walked by a giant tent.

“This is the crafts services tent, where you will be served crappy meals 3 times a day. Unless Chef forgets.” Chris chuckled.

“Will the food be diet?” Dakota asked.

Chris chuckled. “Nope!”

“Where’s the confessional? I want to insult you in it.” Justin asked.

“His voice is haaawt.” Anne Maria said, dreamily.

“Justin, weren’t you ON Action?” Cody asked.

“Yeah, but I didn’t actually...y’know, DO things.” Justin said

“The confessional is in the make-up tent. Which some of you SERIOUSLY need.” Chris said, chuckling to himself.

B wrote something down on his whiteboard and then held it up. It read “Where will the challenges be?”

“Challenges will be held in the studios. We’ve set up all kinds of dangerous things for you to do. It’ll be exciting!” Chris grinned.

“OMG, where are we staying?” Sadie asked. “I do NOT want to be stuck in a crappy cabin again!”

“You’ll be staying in trailers. One for each team. Speaking of which, it’s time to announce those!”

Katie: Please let me be with Sadie….

Anne Maria: Please let me be with Justin….

Geoff: Please let me be with Bridgette…

“Alright, if I call your name, come stand over here.” Chris gestured to a green mat next to him. “Ezekiel, Trent, Blaineley, Staci, Sadie, Dakota, Eva, B, Noah, and Geoff! You guys are….the Screaming Tapeworms!” Chris announced, rolling down a flag with a tapeworm on it.

“Where’s Katie?” Sadie cried.

“On the other team, silly. Yah, my uncle invented--” Staci began.

“And what’s with the name? Tapeworms? Gross!” Blaineley said.

“We decided for a loser season, we needed loser-y names. Which is why Brick, Justin, Izzy, Cody, Dawn, Anne Maria, Katie, DJ, Bridgette, and Tyler are the Killer Nematodes!” Chris rolled down a flag with a nematode on it.

“...what’s a nematode?” Tyler whispered to Cody, who shrugged.

“Alright, get settled in, because your first challenge is in 20 minutes!” Chris grinned, as the contestants groaned.

Sadie: I’m going to show that I CAN play without Katie. I’m gonna be like...Sadie 2.0!

Cody: There aren’t that many hot girls on my team, AND I have Justin, the chick magnet. I’m gonna have to stand out to get their attention.

Ezekiel: Da Z-Man is gonna show how good he really is at this game! Watch out, everyone!

Blaineley: Ha! Chris might not want me here, but I’m here, and I’m gonna win. Mark my words.

“Hah, this season is ALREADY off to a dramatic start! Who will survive the first challenge? Find out, next time, on Total...Drama….Return of the Rejects!” Chris signed off.


Chapter Two- Chefs and Aliens

This chapter was written by Space

Chris was sitting out in front of the trailers as the camera zoomed in on him.  “Last time on Total Drama Return of the Rejects!  We revealed the identities of our twenty redemption hopefuls, with a little help from the blood suckers known as the paparazzi.  Then we split them up into two teams based on… well based on what I felt like.”  Chris chuckled a bit to himself.  “Tonight we put them through their first challenge.  Who’ll come out saviors of humanity, and who’ll be eaten alive?  Find out right now on Total… Drama… Return of the Rejects!”



Inside the guys trailer Trent was unpacking his things into one of the dressers.

Trent: “Last time I was at a movie lot… things didn’t go so well.  I’m really nervous about coming back, and I’m hoping things’ll go better this time around.”

As Trent continued to unpack silently, DJ came up from behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.  “Yo dude you feeling okay?  I know last time you were here, things didn’t go exactly how ya planned.”

Trent chuckled a bit and told DJ, “Yeah man I’m fine.  Just thinking about stuff y’know.”

“Okay man, long as you’re good.”  DJ turned and headed out of the trailer.  When DJ had walked a few steps out of the trailer an arm grabbed him and pulled him aside.  “Hey man what’re ya…”

“Quiet down!  You want Trent to hear us?”  DJ was standing face to face with Mr. Hunk himself, Justin.  “Anyways why’re you trying to be nice to him, he’s the enemy man!”

DJ was obviously a bit baffled by Justin’s sudden question.  “Just because we’re on different teams, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

“Yeah… it kinda does.  If Trent’s still all messed up over what happened here last time,” Justin illustrated this by twirling a finger next to his head, “then maybe he’ll screw up in the challenge.  Him screwing up might give us a win.”

Justin: He smiles at the camera.  “I’ve learned a lot since the last time I was here on the show.  Professional modeling is a cutthroat business after all.  So I’ve come back with a sound strategy, and I know I can manipulate everyone to do whatever I want.”

DJ gave Justin a disapproving glare.  “Nuh-uh, I am not gonna mess with someone just to win a challenge.  Momma would be really disappointed in me if I did something like that.  She still hasn’t forgotten what happened the last time I was here.”  With that DJ walked away leaving Justin standing there in disbelief.

Justin: “So maybe my powers of manipulation need a bit of work…”



Back in the guys trailer the rest of the dudes were unpacking and getting comfortable.

Zeke jumped into his new bunk and laid back.  “Yo this trailer is off the chain!  The beds are a lot more comfortable than the haystacks back home eh!”

“Yes this trailer is definitely luxurious.”  Noah was currently checking his bed for anything odd.  “I mean those are some A-grade carpet stains.”

“At least there aren’t any mutated animals running around.  You do not want to know how a laser squirrel’s beam to the butt feels like.”  Brick rubbed his hind quarters to illustrate the point.  “I still have nightmares sometimes…”

B also illustrated the point by putting his fingers next to his eyes and pointing them out like lasers.  After that, the stoic genius put a hand on Brick’s shoulder in sympathy.

“Whatever man,” Tyler jumped in, “I could’ve taken ‘em.”

Noah chuckled softly at the remark.  “Sure you could’ve big guy, sure you could’ve.”

“I’m serious man!  I totally would turn those squirrels into toast!”  Tyler got a bit red in the face as he yelled for pride’s sake.

At this point Zeke, the resident backwoods expert, chimed in.  “More precisely ya’d probably turn them into stew or fried squirrel eh.  Cooking them in either way allows ya to fully experience the animals rich flavor.  In fact squirrel meat is vastly richer in comparison to rabbit and chicken meat.”

“My gods,” Justin walked into the cabin just in time to hear Zeke’s squirrel lecture, “I can’t believe I have to share a cabin with such a… a… pink neck right?  The term is pink neck right?”

“Well he is right… squirrel is pretty good when done right”  Cody, the possum scout, found that perhaps it was his time to chime in.  “Oh and Justin, you’re fishing for the term ‘redneck’ right now.”

Justin was clearly annoyed with Cody for even speaking.  “I wasn’t fishing, I was just trying to think of a word you idiot!”

Noah couldn’t help but jump on the overwhelming amount of stupidity he was hearing from Justin.  “It was a figure of speech to describe exactly what you meant, idiot”

As tempers ran hot in the cabin, Geoff was the one to jump right in the middle of everyone to break it up.  “Yo, guys, let’s all just chill out.  It’s only the first day, and the game just started.  No need to be at each others throats already.”

“I agree,” Brick chimed in, “no need for us all to be arguing so pointlessly.”  Brick then shot a pointed look at Justin, “Especially if we’re on the same team.”

From the corner of the trailer Trent sighed quietly.  “Well, maybe I won’t be the craziest person here afterall.”



Over at the girls trailer… things weren’t going very smoothly either.

Eva and Blaineley were standing in front of the bunk closest to the door, each trying to put their things down in the space.

“I told you already, I need this space in case I need to go out for some fresh air.  I don’t want to have to wake anyone up when I eventually have to get some at night.”  Eva was trying to be civil with the petite ex-hostess, but clearly her pool of patience was drying up quickly.

Blaineley barely even paid attention to Eva, as she once more placed her designer suitcase on the bunk.  “And I told you that this is the best bunk in the trailer.  It has the best lighting, the cleanest space, and is by far the most supportive for my back!  I don’t really care what you need to do at night, I take priority here!  Now this is my bunk, so get out of my face!”

Eva growled in a low, fearsome tone.  “This is what I get for trying to be civil for once.  Well guess what you D-Grade celebrity wannabe!”  The She-Hulk lifted Blaineley’s suitcase over her head and tore it in half with her massive arms.  Eva then stomped on another piece of Blaineley’s luggage before looking her straight in the eye.  “Since you wanted it so bad, I guess you won’t have an issue with tidying it up a bit, right?”

Across the cabin Anne Maria was applying her usual dose of hairspray.  “Would you two just shut up already!  It’s hard enough to keep up these good looks without a couple of loudmouths!”

Suddenly Izzy appeared upside down next to the Jersey Shore Reject.  She had hooked her feet into the top bunk of the bed, and hung down like a ragdoll.  “Yeah, orange is a really hard look to pull off afterall.”

Anne Maria spun around and gave Izzy a look of pure disdain.  “EX-CUSE ME, who are you calling orange?  This is what all natural tan skin looks like, pasty.”

Izzy simply shrugged while she hung there.  “I’d still rather have the orange as my hair color than as my skin color.”

“Oh that is IT!”  Anne Maria swung her can around to give Izzy a face full of spray.  However once she let loose Izzy had already vaulted across the trailer.

The demented red-head laughed maniacally as she ran out of the trailer, leaving with one final remark.  “Catch me if you dare Snooki!”  With that Anne Maria bolted out of the cabin after her, spray can in hand.

Katie and Sadie watched as the scene unfolded with simple curiosity.  Katie looked completely dumbfounded by the whole thing.  “Well, that was… uh…”

“Interesting,” Sadie concluded.

Katie nodded her head.  “Yeah, interesting.  Oh well, I mean it can’t be as bad as that time we got hungry and…”

“... Oh my God I remember that.  We ended up eating that big green jello that my mom made…”  Sadie continued.

“... Which just happened to be for your dad, so it had those nasty laxatives in it…”

“... And we ended up having to sit near a bathroom for a few days!”  Sadie concluded, oddly happily.

“Yeah, no way it can get worse than that.”  Katie then smiled and hugged Sadie.  “So I guess we just have to make the best of it.  Even if we aren’t on the same team.”

“Totally, BFFFLs forever!”  Saide cheered.  The pair let out a squeal of delight as they hopped with glee.

Suddenly Staci, overhearing their glee, popped up to start talking.  “You know my great aunt actually invented the term ‘BFF,’ it was revolutionary for her time.”

“Whoopie-doo, you want a medal or something?”  Blaineley was trying to sort out the mess of her things, which Eva had created.  “I doubt any of us care what your family did.  This is a reality show, not a history lesson honey.”

“Yeah seriously, why is that all you ever talk about?”  Chimed in Dakota, who was busy checking her appearance in her compact mirror.  “I mean that’s why you got booted last season, right?”

“She is correct,” Dawn added.  The moonchild had appeared out of nowhere to stand right next to Staci.  “I know you must be proud of your family’s ‘accomplishments,’ but perhaps you should try to offer up more useful information.  It may be somewhat relevant to the topic, but it has no impact on the situation at hand.”

“But… but I…”  Staci seemed like she was at a complete loss for anything to say.  The chatter box just slumped onto her bunk and stared at the ground.

Staci: “What am I supposed to talk about?  I mean it’s not like I really have anything interesting about me… I just like to talk.  Oh boy… this is gonna be just like last time… I already know it.”

As Staci sat there at a loss for… anything really, Bridgette decided she’d offer some encouragement.  The surfer girl took a seat beside Staci and laid a hand on her shoulder.  “Hey, are you okay?”

Staci continued to stare at the ground.  “I just… I don’t know what they expect from me.”

Bridgette gave a genuine smile as she shrugged her shoulders.  “Why not just try talking about yourself for once, or maybe even your hobbies?  I mean we’ve heard about your ‘family’ a million times over, what about you?”

Staci sat up and looked at Bridgette.  “Talk about me… well there really isn’t much to tell when it comes to me.  I mean I’m not really all that interesting.”

Bridgette sat there and flashed her another warm smile.  “Well, even if it isn’t that much, I’d be willing to hear it.”

Staci’s eyes went a bit wider and a large smile crossed her face.  “Really?”

Bridgette chuckled softly as she watched Staci get happier.  “Yeah really, I’d love to.”

“Gah puke, all this joy is really giving me indigestion”  Blaineley stuck a finger in her mouth as if she was puking.

“With an aura such as yours, it’s no wonder joy causes you pain.”  Dawn had somehow appeared next to Blaineley, much to the later’s surprise.  “I mean all of that scratching and clawing to get further in show-business, only to end up a sub-celebrity hostess.  If I were in your shoes, I’d despise all things joyful as well.”

Blaineley’s jaw hung open as she absorbed what Dawn had just said.  “How could you have possibly know…”

The fashionista was cut off, however, by a certain celebrity’s voice over the loudspeaker.  “Alright guys and gals, it’s time for your first challenge to get started.  Meet me outside of studio one so we can get this game started!”



As the last of the contestants arrived outside studio one, the large garage door to the studio lifted open.  As the door opened, smoke began rolling out towards the contestants.  As the smoke rolled over them everyone began coughing and gagging.  As the smoke began to clear a figure appeared in front of the contestants.  The figure didn’t look human, and was holding some type of gun in it’s right hand.

Ezekiel spotted the figure and began to panic.  “Holy moley yo!  Run for your lives, it’s a martian eh!”

“Every beautiful person for themselves,” Justin yelled as he began to run away.

“Um… guys…”  DJ seemed quite unfazed by the mysterious figure.

“Oh my gosh, Sadie this is it!”  Katie hugged her BFF close to her.

“BFFFL’s forever,” Sadie said as she hugged Katie back.

“Uh… you guys… it’s not…”  DJ continued his attempts to get everyone’s attention.

“We’re cooked dude… cooked like… like... CHICKENS!”  Tyler went into the fetal position and began sucking his thumb.

“I can’t die like this, I haven’t even gone out with a B-lister yet.”  Dakota sobbed as she looked for the cameras to capture her emotion.

“GUYS,” DJ finally yelled.  Everyone stopped panicking and faced the soft spoken brickhouse.

“Wow… DJ never yells like that,” Cody commented.

DJ fanned away the fog with his arms until he revealed the ‘alien’ in question.  As the others looked closer, they found it was just Chef in his alien costume holding a squirt gun.  “Guys, it’s just Chef.  No need to freak out, unless you’re talking about dinner that is.”

“Good eyes big guy.”  Chris had taken this opportunity to exit the alien themed studio he was just in.  “Today’s challenge is, of course, based in the ever popular alien movie genre!”

The contestants had a bit of a mixed reaction.  Some were pleased… some not as much.  However the duo with the worst reactions were Geoff and Bridgette.

Bridgette: “Oh man really?  It just had to be this genre first didn’t it?  I swear Chris is TRYING to torture Geoff and I!”

“You all may remember this genre from Total Drama Action.  I know I certainly remember two crazy lovebirds throwing their chances at a cool mil for some make out sessions.”  Chris chuckled a bit as he watched Bridgette and Geoff steam a little.  “Lucky for you two, this time’s a bit different.  First of all each of you will be paired up… with a member of the OTHER team.”

At the mention of pairing up with an opponent Katie and Sadie squealed in delight.  “OMG this is going to be awesome,” cheered Sadie.

“Not so fast girls,” Chris cut in, “I’m not exactly done explaining yet.  These pairs will be randomly selected by drawing out of a hat, so I have no idea who’s with who yet.  What I do know is the actual challenge.”  Chris, with a wild smirk on his face, pointed back at a sadistically smiling Chef.  “Chef’s gonna be the ‘alien commander’ and will be chasing you all with modified squirt guns.  Now these guns are filled with a fan favorite, green gelatin.  If only little miss CIT was here for this.  Chef will be backed by his ‘alien armada,’ aka the interns.  The goal of the challenge is to survive the ‘alien onslaught’ as a duo, and be the last pair standing.  Now that means if either one of you is hit, you’re both out.”

Eva: “Oh great, teaming up.  I just hope I don’t get stuck with the squealer… I don’t know if my patience could hold up against that.”

Chris continued on with his explanation.  “The last pair standing will face off to decide which team wins.  The only other way you can win is by being the first pair to reach the ship.”  Chris pointed at the alien ship in the studio.  “Now without further ado, let’s see these pairs shall we.”  Chef passed Chris a top hat, and Chris mixed the papers around.  Then he pulled out two papers and unfolded them.  “The first pair up is… Izzy and Noah.”

“Izzy like!”  Izzy suddenly jumped on Noah’s back nearly made him collapse.  “Noah, onward to victory!”

Noah glared up at Izzy with sheer annoyance.  “Sure we will, now can you please get off of me?”

“Izzy shall oblige,” Izzy said as she got off of Noah.

“Okay,” Chris said.  “Well the next pair is… Anne Maria and Dakota.”  The pair didn’t seem to notice their names being called, as they were too busy working on their looks.  “Next up… ahahaha, this is great.  Geoff and Bridgette, you guys are a team.”

“Really… just really?”  Bridgette didn’t seem convinced it was just random.

Geoff: “Okay… not that I’m opposed to going with Bridge… but this seems way too convenient.  I’m pretty sure Chris rigged this… somehow”

“What can I say, it’s all random.”  Chris plucked another two names from the hat.  “Our next pair is… Justin and Trent.”  Justin put on a devilish grin that went unnoticed by Trent… yet was plainly seen by DJ.  “Next up we got… Dawn and B.”  The two smiled at each other and looked pleased to be paired up.  “Then there’s… Tyler and Eva.”  Eva looked slightly agitated finding out who her partner was.

Eva: “Joy, I get the walking accident.  Ugh, I might’ve even taken the squealer over him.”

Chris reached in and pulled out the next duo.  “So next up we have… Brick and Staci.”

Brick walked next to Staci and saluted her.  “Reporting for duty ma’am!”

Staci smiled and chuckled a bit.  “At ease soldier.”

“So next we have…”  Chris lifted out the next pair and chuckled a bit.  “Blaineley and DJ.”

“What’s so funny?”  Blaineley seemed a bit agitated with the laughing.

“Oh nothing,” Chris could barely hold his snickers in, “I just kinda think it’s funny pairing a noble knight and an evil witch together.”

Blaineley gave Chris a straight up death glare.  However DJ put a hand on her shoulder and said, “Now ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black.”

Chris ignored DJ and looked to see that Cody, Ezekiel, Katie, and Sadie were left.  The bobbsey twins were holding each other and crossing their fingers.  Chris reached into the hat and pulled out another pairing.  “Second to last we have… Cody and Sadie.”

The twins were shocked and dropped their arms in surprise.  Sadie looked at Cody with slight disgust and Katie looked at Ezekiel with annoyance.

Katie: “Why, of all people, did it have to be homeschooled.  I mean all I remember about him is that he was a sexist jerk back on the island.  I’m just so annoyed me and Sadie aren’t together...”

“So obviously Katie and Zeke are the final pairing.”  Chris looked back at Chef, who pumped up his squirt gun.  “You guys have fifteen minutes to go do whatever you want.  Once that time’s up though, the hunt will begin.”  Chris pulled out a stopwatch and started it.  “Your time just started, I’d use it wisely.”



All of the pairs scrambled away from the site… all except Noah and Izzy that is.

“So, what do you wanna do snarky?”  Izzy was doing a handstand as she looked up at Noah.

Noah sighed and looked down at her.  “Well… I guess we go hide.  No point in staying here and getting crushed by ‘Commander Crazy’ over there.”  Noah pointed over in Chef’s direction, as the big man was loading a few water pistols with the green gelatin.

“Oh don’t worry about him,” Izzy said as she dismounted her handstand.  “I know exactly how to deal ‘Lieutenant Lunatic,’ so leave him to me.”

“If you say so, just don’t expect me to do anything,” Noah stated.

Izzy laughed a little bit.  “Don’t worry, I didn’t plan on you being useful to my scheme anyways.  Now follow me, I have a great idea!”  The fiery redhead began skipping in the direction of the arts and crafts tent.  Noah followed, rolling his eyes along the way.



After fifteen minutes had passed Chris’s voice boomed over the loudspeakers.  “Okay guys, fifteen minutes is up, welcome to open season!”

Off at the girls cabin Anne Maria and Dakota sat in their bunks fixing their hair.

“Well, they’ll never think to look in here.”  Anne Maria stopped spraying her hair and glanced over at Dakota.  “This is gonna be a piece of cake.”

“Yeah, I am NOT getting sprayed with that crap on national TV.  I still remember the last time I got covered in green goop… it wasn’t exactly flattering.”  Dakota shuddered at the memory of her time as a mutant.

“Oh yeah, I remember.  You were a giant orange freakshow and you made out with that fat, ugly nerd.”  Anne Maria laughed a bit to herself.

Dakota perked up at Anne Maria’s jab at her gamer boyfriend.  “What… Sam’s a nice guy.  We’re still going out y’know.”

“What? Really?”  Anne Maria laughed even harder at that point.  “You’re telling me you actually CHOOSE to go out with that slob?  You must be really desperate…”

Dakota shot up and threw a hateful glare at her.  “Don’t make fun of him!  Sam’s awesome, and he likes me for more than just my looks!  He even looked past my appearance when I was an orange freakshow!”  Dakota then got a bit of a smirk on her face.  “I can see that nobody’s looked past your sprayed on orangness though.”

Anne Maria balled her fists at the last comment.  “Oh no you didn’t!  That’s it blondie, you’re going down!”

Just as Anne Maria was prepared to lunge at Dakota, the door of the trailer burst open to reveal a certain costume clad cook.  “Hello ladies, hope I’m not interrupting.”  Chef leveled his gun and doused the two in the sticky green goop.  The pair looked horrified as Chef said, “Have a nice day,” and slammed the door closed again.

Drenched and pissed, Anne Maria glared over at Dakota.  “We’ll finish this later… first I need a shower.”

Dakota nodded her head, “Agreed.”



Elsewhere, deep in the forest, Bridgette and Geoff had finally stopped after running nonstop.

“I think we should be safe out here Geoff.  No way did Chris send any of his interns out this far.”  Bridgette turned to see her boyfriend standing a good distance away, leaning on a tree.

“Cool Bridge, cool.”  Geoff glanced away when he finished his sentence.

“Hey, babe, is everything okay?”  Bridgette asked, as she tried to get closer to him.

“Yeah, totally.  No issues here.”  Geoff scooted away to remain out of Bridgette’s reach.

Bridgette looked at him with a confused look on her face.  “Well, obviously they aren’t if you’re moving away from me.”

“I’m just feeling… a bit sick right now.  I don’t want to get you sick too Bridge.”  Geoff added a bit of a cough at the end to try and convince her.

Bridgette sighed and shook her head.  “Okay babe, whatever you say.”



Over near the gate into the complex, Tyler and Eva were being chased by one of Chef’s underlings.  The duo was closing in on the gate as the intern fired a bit more at them.

“Great plan you had klutzy, leading us straight into a dang trap!”  Eva yelled as she continued running.

“How was I s’posed to know there’d be someone in the mess hall?  It’s not like I’m psychic!”  Red jock continued matching Eva’s pace as the two attempted to shake their assailant.

“It’s the largest building here, of COURSE someone would be there!”  Eva yelled back at him.  “It’s a thing called common sense, which you definitely don’t have!”

Tyler rolled his eyes at the Iron Woman’s comment.  “Oh please, you followed me there!  At any point you could’ve told me that it was dumb!  Yet you just followed me without saying a word!  Now explain that you-”

Tyler’s sentence was cut short as he ran straight into the fence.  Eva stopped just in time to avoid a head on collision, but she couldn’t inform Tyler quick enough.  Mr. Athletics crumpled to the ground, knocked out cold.

Eva sighed to herself.  “Great, now what?”

Just as she asked the question, she was blasted from behind with green goop.  The intern who’d been chasing them took advantage of the situation, and blasted her as quickly as he could.

Eva shook with frustration as she slowly raised herself and turned in the intern’s direction.  She gave him a hate filled glare and balled her fists.  “That... was the biggest mistake of your life kid.”

The intern, who was more on the scrawny side, panicked and ran away at full speed.

Eva sighed heavily as the scrawny kid fled for his life.  She turned to look down upon Tyler, still out cold from the hit he took.  “Well, I guess I can’t just leave him here.”  The unibrowed jockette grabbed Tyler and threw him over her shoulder.  She then departed in the direction of the medical tent.



Off inside the beach themed studio, Ezekiel and Katie were hiding behind large tiki statues.  The pair had simply found the best place they could on short notice, and sat uncomfortably behind their barricades.  It had been silent, until Zeke decided he offer a suggestion.

“Hey, maybe we should hide in the water eh?”  The homeschooled boy pointed towards the large pool of water at the edge of the set.

Katie turned and threw him a piercing glare.  “Oh I bet you’d love that huh?  Getting a dumb girl like me to get herself all wet.  Or even better, changing into her bathing suit.  Yeah, not happening.”

Ezekiel seemed surprised by her sudden hostility.  “That ain’t what I was thinkin’ at all.  I just thought that we’d be safer in the water.  It’d provide better cover, and Chef’d be less likely to find us.”

“No way are you fooling me with that homeschooled!  I’m on the opposite team, I bet you’d love it if I got drenched.”  Katie glared straight forward and crossed her arms.

“I’m being serious yo!  I’m just trying to be nice and protect ya.”  Ezekiel sounded slightly hurt by the mistrust he was being shown.

Katie returned her glare back to the prairie boy.  “I don’t need protection, especially from a sexist like you!”

Zeke lowered his eyes to the ground, and his expression went sullen.  “Sorry yo, never meant to bother you.  I’ll just shut up now.”

Katie looked over at the prairie boy and saw the defeated look on his face.  Her expression, and tone, softened up a bit.  “Listen, Ezekiel, I…”

Before the thin twin could finish her sentence the studio door bursted open.  In came Chef, sniffing the air as he strolled on in.  Suddenly it appeared something had caught his attention.  “Hmm… smells like… Cattle...”  Chef’s face twisted into an insane grin as he turned in the direction of the tikis.  “Hello homeschooled.”  The alien commander rushed forward, knocked both tiki statues out of the way, and revealed Katie and Ezekiel cowering behind them.  “Ah, now it’s two down.”

Chef lowered his gun at Katie, but before he could fire Zeke rushed in and shielded Katie.  Chef unloaded, and Ezekiel received a giant blast of green goop.  When Chef had finished Ezekiel was standing there, covered head to toe in the goop.  The large man chuckled a bit to himself.  Then he looked around Zeke, and glard down at Katie.  “You’re lucky I’m out, or you’d be getting one hell of a bath yourself.”

Chef then turned back to Ezekiel and patted him on the shoulder.  “Better get a shower ‘hero boy,’ you look like you got puked on by Godzilla.”  Chef then turned, and strolled out of the studio whistling.

Zeke turned around and looked down at Katie.  “I’d offer you a hand up… but at this point…”

Katie lifted herself up off the ground and chuckled a bit.  “No worries, I understand.  Yeah, thanks a lot though Zeke.  Even though I was soooo mean to you, you still took the hit for me.”

Zeke shrugged and laughed a bit himself.  “Honestly yo, it was just kind of a reaction.  My body took over before my mind could do a thing.”

“Well, I still appreciate it anyways.  Now let’s get you back to your trailer, before that stuff permanently stains your skin green.”  Katie began walking out of the studio with Zeke.

“Honestly, I don’t think that’s even possible.  But I guess it never hurts to be safe.  Especially around Chris eh?”  Zeke cracked a smile as the two made their way back to the trailers.



Back in the woods, Sadie and Cody were wandering aimlessly.  The duo had decided to just wander the woods until they could find an opportune hiding spot.  They had run into an intern earlier, and were just barely able to get away.  However, the butterball wasn’t exactly made for long distances… or sprinting.

“Can we just take a breather, I can barely feel my legs.”  Sadie had endured more physical activity than she was used to, and it certainly showed on her face.  She was drenched in sweat, and breathing very heavily.

Cody on the other hand was perfectly fine.  Despite his unassuming physical appearance, the geek had extremely good endurance.  Yet it was evident Sadie couldn’t go for much longer.  “Yeah, might as well just set up shop here.”  He plopped down on the ground, yet still kept vigilant for any other attackers.

Sadie, however, collapsed to the ground with a hard thud.  She looked up at the sky through the trees, and watched as the birds flew overhead.  “Y’know… if it wasn’t for the fact… that we have people after us… today’d be nice… to just sit here… and watch the sky…”  Sadie barely managed to get the words out as she continued to breathe heavily.

Cody peered up at the sky himself, and noticed the same thing.  “Yeah, you’re right.  Today’s the perfect day for bird watching.  I do that type of stuff all the time back home… but this place is actually a lot prettier.  It’s really surprising that Chris hasn’t destroyed all this natural beaut yet.”

Sadie nodded her head ever so slightly in agreement.  “Yeah… I’m shocked he hasn’t built a giant monument to himself yet.”

The two chuckled a bit as they made fun of their torturer.  However what they didn’t realize was that they had an adversary sneaking up on them.  It was unfortunate that Cody had turned his attention skyward, or else he would’ve seen the green clad intern approaching.  The intern got into firing range, just as Cody pointed up and identified a hummingbird darting through the sky.  The intern leveled her aim at the pervy geek, and fired away.  Cody had heard her fire though, and with unexpected agility dodged to the left.

“Ha, missed me,” Cody cokily yelled.

The intern simply snickered a bit and pointed to behind him.  Cody turned and found Sadie, gelatin spread over her face.

Sadie wiped the stuff off her eyes and frowned.  “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

As the inter fled back into the woods, Cody turned to Sadie with an apologetic look on his face.  “Sorry,” he said sheepishly.



Over at the arts and crafts tent, Izzy was tearing through supplies making something out of cloth.  Noah looked over her shoulder and asked, “What the heck are you doing?”

Izzy then lifted up her creation, a camo bandana.  She wrapped it around her head and gave a massive smile.  “Now let’s go hunt us an alien commander.”

Noah observed her as she laughed maniacally, and raised his hand to rub his eyebrow.  “Oh great, here we go…”



Back at the alien themed studio, B and Dawn watched as interns guarded the ship.  The pair had found a hiding spot near the studio, and B had been adamant in taking it.

Dawn looked at B as he intently watched the interns on patrol.  “B, is it really wise to be so close to the heart of the enemy?  I mean, if they are to leave we will surely win, but still…”

B simply looked down at her and smiled.  He used his two fingers to imitate legs, and had them walk away from him.  Then he used his other hand to illustrate a pair running to him.

“Yes I understand that it’s our best hope… but perhaps we could’ve just found an immensely secure location to hide in.  It’ll probably come down to the last pair standing anyways.”

B shook his head, and pulled a picture of the entire cast out of his jacket.

Dawn: “Not even I can determine where B obtained that photograph.  Perhaps he has powers that are hidden even to I.”

B pointed straight at Izzy, then made a gesture as if the interns were getting massacred.

“I doubt even a person of Izzy’s skills could get through all of them.  Remember, Chef is among them as well.  He is just as highly skilled.”

B simply shook his head and pointed again to Izzy.

“Alright, if you believe so.  I won’t doubt your judgement, you haven’t deceived me before.”



Over in the confessional dressing room Brick and Staci were just chilling out, waiting for the challenge to be over.

“This was pure genius hiding in here, Chef would never expect it.  Plus if he ruins this place it might tick Chris off, so he could avoid it entirely.”  Brick laughed as he praised Staci for her earlier stroke of genius.

“Na, I was just going on what made the most sense.  It isn’t that big of a deal.”  Staci was flattered by Brick’s comment, as she laughed along with him.

“Oh no, you had the idea and it was a genius one.  Therefore you’re a genius for coming up with it.”  Brick continued to praise the chatterbox.

“Well alright, if you say so.  So, you have any hobbies?”  Staci asked Brick, with pure curiosity in her voice.

“Well I love to exercise, follow orders, and of course do some cosmetology here and there,” Brick stated proudly.

Staci looked at him with sheer interest.  “Oh yeah, I remember you said something about doing that at the end of our season.  I think it’s pretty cool that a guy can admit that.  Oh, but exercise isn’t exactly my thing, as you can probably tell.”

Brick chuckled a bit.  “Everyone has their own way of living, isn’t my place to judge.  I can tell you this though, even if you aren’t into traditional exercise there are a ton of other things you can do.  It’s actually really easy to pick some of them up.”

“Oh really,” Staci said, “I’ve only ever tried the ‘traditional’ types I guess.  So there’s more to it than just running and push-ups?”

“Of course there are, you just have to find what your type is.  I’d be happy to help you in that department, what do ya say?”  Brick held out his hand for Staci to shake.

“Y’know what, sure.  I’d honestly love to.”  Staci shook Brick’s hand firmly.

“Wow, never met a girl with that firm of a handshake,” Brick commented.

The pair just kept talking about different types of exercise and other things.



Up at the stage Trent and Justin were hiding in the bleachers, using the shadows as cover.

Justin, who had made a few attempts to remind Trent of his past at the film lot, was still trying to mess with the musician.  Something kept getting in his way though whether it be Trent hearing something, or an intern trying to snipe them.  Now they were alone though, and Justin had found his opportunity.  “So dude, excited to be back?”

Trent scoffed and tried to keep from remembering his past there.  “Hardly… I just wish it didn’t have to be here of all places.”

“Yeah I can understand that.  Especially since this is the place Gw…”  Justin didn’t get to finish talking, as Trent quickly covered his mouth.  Justin removed the hand and asked, “What are you doing?”

Trent pointed towards the stage and whispered, “Look.”

Justin looked out to see DJ and Blaineley.  The duo was attempting to outrun an intern who was chasing them.  Well, more accurately, DJ was outrunning him as he carried Blaineley in his arms.

“Run faster,”  Blaineley screeched, “If any of that goop gets on me it’ll be your head big guy!”

DJ just kept running, not even looking behind him.  The brickhouse was putting all his effort into creating some distance between him and his assailant.

Justin, watching this unfold, couldn’t help but let loose with a loud snicker.  Just as the hunk let out his snicker, the intern stopped chasing DJ.  He turned towards the bleachers, gun ready, and began walking towards them.

When the intern got close enough to fire, Justin panicked.  The model did the only thing that made sense to him… he spoke.  “No one’s under here.  You can go back to chasing the big guy carrying the banshee!”

Trent couldn’t believe what he had just heard.  He was at such a loss he didn’t know what to do.  In his shock Trent felt himself get covered in a sticky, gelatinous substance.  He watched as Justin also got drenched in the stuff.

As the intern turned and left, Justin flashed a sheepish grin.  “Well… at least it’s still better than the last time you were here.”

Trent simply facepalmed and shook his head in complete disbelief.  He then grabbed the railing to pull himself up.  Trent stood up just in time to hear one of the loudest screeches he’d ever heard followed by, “YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT REDSHIRT!  I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND YOU’LL REGRET EVER BEING BORN!”

“Well,” Justin began, “Looks like they got Blaineley.

DJ came walking back to the stage, a struggling and goop covered Blaineley in his arms.  “PUT ME DOWN YOU GIANT APE!  LET ME GO DESTROY THAT REDSHIRT!  I WANT HER TO FEEL MY WRATH!  NO ONE MESSES WITH MY APPEARANCE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!”

DJ just kept on walking, carrying the struggling hostess back towards the trailers.  “Here I’ll get you to the showers and you’ll be fine.”

Blaineley continued punching DJ in the back as he walked, blank faced, towards the showers.

“Wow, glad I didn’t get stuck with her,” Trent commented.

“Yeah, instead you got me and my amazing self!”  Justin flashed his perfect smile.

Trent: “Actually, I almost think Blaineley would’ve been better.  At least she’d be smart enough to stay quiet…”



Back out in the woods Geoff and Bridgette were still sitting a good distance apart.  An awkward silence had fallen over the duo, as Geoff looked off into the distance.

Finally Bridgette couldn’t take the silence any more.  “Okay, that’s it, why’re you avoiding me Geoff?”

Geoff looked at her with obvious mock surprise.  “Like I said Bridge, I ain’t feelin’ too hot right now.  I don’t want to make you sick too.”

Bridgette stared hard into him.  “That wouldn’t keep you from talking to me though.  So stop lying to me Geoff and tell me what’s really going on already!”

“I just don’t want this to end up like last time okay!”  Geoff had shot up out of his seated position, and yelled fairly loudly.  Bridgette looked at him with total confusion, and Geoff sighed.  “We were the first two voted out the last time we were here.  It was my idea to do what we did, and I dragged you down with me.  I let you down, and I don’t want to do that again.  Everytime we get close it happens… so I’ve been tryin’ to protect you Bridge…”

Bridgette sighed as well.  “Geoff, you should’ve just said something.  Oh, and you’re totally wrong.  I chose to do all that with you, you didn’t force me to do it.  We’re a couple babe, what one does the other’s gonna follow.  So stop avoiding me okay.”  She got closer to him, and he didn’t move.  She gave him a peck on the cheek and said, “You don’t need to blame yourself babe.  If it means anything, even if I could change it, I wouldn’t.  Now, how bout we win this challenge so I can beat your butt in the last challenge.”

Geoff looked down at his girlfriend and put on a huge smile.  “Oh, you’re totally on, babe.”

Just as the duo prepared to run off they heard a gruff voice from behind them.  “Oh how touching, such a lovely reunion.”  Before either of them had a chance to do anything they were drenched in green gelatin.  They turned to find Chef laughing heartily.  “Oh man, that’s gonna be great when it hits the airwaves.”  Chef then turned to the nearest camera he could find.  “Ha ma, look at me now you old hag!”



The big man turned to go seek more campers when his walkie started buzzing.  He picked it up and asked, “Yeah what?”

“Sir, we’re getting destroyed over here!  It’s Izzy, she’s just too much for us.  At this rate she’ll take the ship in… agh!”  The walkie cut off then and there.

Chef in the direction of the studio, and plucked a weapon from his back.  The particular squirt gun was the big man’s personal favorite.  The XX-70 heavy pressure rifle, which could carry 10 gallons and unload it all in a matter of thirty seconds.  “She shall not have the better of me this time.”  Chef said, as he charged back towards the studio.



As Chef got close he could tell Izzy had been there only seconds earlier.  Only she could have decimated his whole force so quickly, and interns were still writhing from the beating.  However Chef didn’t see Izzy, however he did spot her accomplice Noah.  Fueled by pure insane rage, Chef screamed at the top of his lungs, "AAAAAATTAAAACK!"  Chef came charging down, armed with his massive squirt gun. He closed in on Noah and held his gigantic gun directly in front of his face.

"So does that costume come with the odor... or have you just had too much of your own cooking?"  Noah asked, obviously unimpressed.

Chef simply growled and raised his gun directly to Noah's forehead.  "Nighty night little man."

Noah stood unfazed and just snapped his fingers.  Chef chuckled at his action... but then heard something like an inhuman yell.

Suddenly Izzy landed gracefully on the large man's shoulders.  Bandanna and all, she kicked the large toy from Chef's grip up into her own. "Hasta la vista Cheffy!"  Little Miss Lunatic unloaded on the helpless Chef, the big man getting buried in a mound of green gelatin.  Izzy ceased for a moment and backflipped off of his shoulders. "Now get moving!" She began to unload again as Chef fled the scene.  He looked like he was being attacked by a slime monster as he ran away from the psycho hose beast.

Noah simply sighed and said, "I knew you were good for something."

Izzy flashed him a wide, wild smile.  “Now let’s take that ship!”

However, unbeknownst to the duo, B and Dawn had been lurking near the studio.  Once B saw Chef flee he grabbed Dawn and made a mad dash for the ship.  Before Izzy or Noah could do anything, the silent genius had successfully climbed aboard the mother ship.

As B and Dawn hugged Chris came over the loudspeakers.  “And our winners, B and Dawn!  Everyone back to the alien set pronto!”

Noah simply sighed.  “Well, I kind of figured something like this’d happen.”

As the rest of the contestants made their ways back to the set, Chris came flying in on his jet pack.  As he landed he flashed his ever white smile.  “Man, that thing is way better than my cart.  Anyways congratz you two, you guys survived.”  The duo smiled at Chris as he smirked.  “However, you still have to duke it out to decide who wins.”  Their smiles faded as they remembered the stipulation.  “Oh, and I know just the challenge to do it.  We’re going to have a small singing contest.”

Ezekiel: “Singing contest?!  The big fella doesn’t even talk!”

Everyone looked shocked at Chris.  DJ was the first to speak up, “Yo Chris, B doesn’t even speak man.  This whole thing ain’t fair at all.”

Chris shrugged and held his smirk.  “Sorry big guy, we decided on this before the challenge even started.  Not a thing I can do about it now.”

“Oh don’t give me that McClean,” Blaineley cut in, “You can do whatever you want.  It’s not like you haven’t abused you powers before.”

“Sorry, but I’m sticking with my plan.  Singing contest is the challenge.”  Chris chuckled a bit, seeing the Tapeworms fume at him.

“Then I shall refuse to compete.  This is not an honest way to win, and I shall have no part in it.”  Dawn crossed her arms and held herself firm.

“Oh you’ll sing alright,” Anne Maria cut in, “Cause if you don’t we’re sending you home.”

“Who suddenly put you in charge.  I don’t think you’re the end all voice on this team.”  DJ, for the first time ever, challenged someone.

Anne Maria looked agitated at the brickhouse.  “She’s trying to throw a challenge, and you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah,” Justin cut in, “We’re here to win afterall.”

Brick threw himself into the conversation as well.  “Yes we’re here to win, but not at the sake of our honor and pride.”

As everyone continued to argue, B gave a decisively sharp whistle.  Everyone turned to the stoic genius, and he raised a white flag from his coat.

Dawn tried to grab the flag out of B’s hand.  “No B, I won’t let you be subjected to this unfair…”

B then grabbed her shoulder and grounded the moonchild.  He simply gave a thumbs up sign, and she knew what he meant.

B waved the white flag, and Dawn translated.  “B is… giving up.  He is unable to fulfill the challenge, and therefore forfeits.”

Chris nodded and yelled, “Then we have our winners!  The Killer Nematodes!”

Not many of the contestants seemed particularly happy with the decision.  Eva especially was fuming in rage.  “You’ll regret this McClean,” she threatened.

Chris simply shrugged.  “Whatever, rules are rules.”  The host then looked up at the dark sky.  He looked at his watch to find it was closing in on eleven o’clock at night.  “Wow, well it’s elimination time!”

“What?  We haven’t even had time to discuss this!”  Eva yelled, getting even angrier.

“Sorry, that isn’t really my problem now is it?”  Chris flew up into the air before the campers could say any more.  “Meet over at the stage in five.  Nematodes, you’ll come too.  Not to vote, just cause I feel like having you all there!”  Chris then flew off to the stage.

DJ: “Okay really?  I remember Chris was a… jerk, but I don’t believe what he’s doing right now.  It’s not fair at all to poor B.”

Blaineley approached B and gave him a harsh glare.  “Way to go mime, you could’ve at least tried!  Hope you’re ready to go tonight.”

B looked at the ground in a saddened manner.  Suddenly though, Staci walked forward and laid a hand on B’s shoulder.  “Can we really blame him, I mean he gave it his all.  How could he have possibly known what the challenge was?”  She then threw a glance Blaineley’s way.  “Besides, he did more than a certain sub-celebrity who got carried around by DJ the whole time.”

Trent looked up at Staci and jumped in.  “Yeah, she’s right.  The one time I saw you, you weren’t doing anything.  At least B put effort into the challenge and won the first part!”

“Yeah well he didn’t win the whole thing.  We lost, it’s his fault, and you all know it!”  Blaineley stormed off towards the stage.

Ezekiel: “Man yo, I dunno who to go with.  This vote’s gonna be a really tough one.”



When everyone arrived at the stage Chris and Chef were waiting there for them.  Chris was in his classic blue suit, Chef in his red sparkly dress.

Chris stood behind the podium as the Tapeworms picked up their voting devices.  “So as you all already know, you press the button for the person you want to get rid of.  Contestant with the most votes against them is out.  They’ll ride away in the Lame-o-sine and won’t be coming back.  So go ahead and vote!”

Geoff: “Chris majorly screwed us today… and it’s a really tough choice man.  B did throw the challenge, but I can’t really blame him for it.  I just don’t know man.”  Geoff then reached into his pocket and pulled out a coin.  “Well, chance ol buddy, let’s see what you think.”

Sadie: “I may not like Blaineley… but I have to think of the future in this game.  Ugh, this is soooo hard!”

Dakota: “I already know who I’m voting for.  It was pretty easy for me to decide really.”

As all the contestants voted Chef stepped forward with a platter of Gilded Chris’s.  Once all the votes were sent Chris grabbed a Gilded Chris from the plate.  “Okay guys, all the votes are in.  First Gilded Chris goes to… Noah.”

Chris tossed the statue at Noah, and the snarker caught it in his lap.  “Oh joy, as if I didn’t see enough of you already.”

Chris ignored Noah and continued.  “Next up we have… Ezekiel, Eva, and Geoff.”  They caught their statues easily and Geoff cheered a bit that he was safe.  “Next we have… Trent, Dakota, and Staci.”  All but Staci caught theirs, the chatterbox getting beamed in the head by hers.

Chris looked over the three remaining contestants with amusement.  “Anne Maria, you were the first person out of the challenge, and your attitude got on your teammates nerves.  Blaineley, you did next to nothing in the challenge, and your comments towards B weren’t exactly appreciated.  Finally B, you forfeited the challenge dude, plain and simple.  This next Gilded Chris goes to… Anne Maria.”

“Yeah baby, of course they couldn’t vote me off!”  Anne Maria caught her statue and shook it above her head.

“B, Blaineley, you’re the final two left.  The final Gilded Chris goes to…




























Blaineley.”  Chris tossed Blaineley her statue as B looked crestfallen.  “Sorry big guy, but it looks like another early exit for you.”

“WAIT!”

Everyone turned to see the person who’d yelled out… it was DJ.

“I’m not letting this happen!  It’s not B’s fault you guys lost, he couldn’t even compete in that type of challenge.  Plus he’s never had the chance to really compete on this show… and I think he deserves the chance to.  That’s why I want to quit in his place!”

A collective gasp ran through the contestants, as the brickhouse stood tall and firm.

Geoff rushed over to his bud with a confused look.  “Dude are you sure about this, I mean you can’t come back?”

DJ looked down at his closest friend, and nodded his head.  “I’ve played this game three times.  I’ve made a ton of friends, done some stuff I regret, and I’ve had a lot of fun.  I want to let B have the chance to do that.  Plus… I just don’t know if I can keep up with all these dirty personalities man.  I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.”

Geoff patted his friend on the back.  “I totally get it dude.  Just as long as it’s what you want.”

DJ smiled down at him and nodded.

“Well, if you’re willing to… I won’t stop you.”  Chris, for the first time that day, showed some decency.  “B, you’re safe for tonight man.  DJ, it’s time for you to go bro.”

DJ recieved one giant group hug from the whole cast, even Blaineley joined in.  Once he was free the brickhouse walked, tall and confidently, to the Lame-o-sine.  He waved a final goodbye to everyone and got in the back.  Brick stood up and saluted DJ as the Lame-o-sine drove away.

“Well… that was a great way to start the season!  This is gonna be ratings GOLD!  Okay, off to your trailers.  Time to turn in.”

The contestants dispersed from the stage and began walking back to their trailers.

B: He's seen writing on a whiteboard in the dressing room.  Once he finished he held it up to the camera.  It read, “DJ, thank you so much.  You stood up for me, and that means a lot man.  You’ve given me a second chance at this game, a chance I promise I won’t waste.  Live long and prosper dude, live long and prosper!”



Chris stood up on the stage still.  “The loveable brickhouse sacrifices himself for the stoic genius.  Man you can’t write stuff like this!  Next time we put the contestants to the test in a creative, and painful way.  How will they cope with DJ’s sacrifice, how are they going to survive the challenge, and how are they gonna get all that gelatin off of them?  Find out next time on Total… Drama… Return of the Rejects!”


Chapter Three- Game of King Chairs

Chapter written by the fabulous Trey, who is so cool he doesn't link his name. Being fixed cuz Mr. E sucks.

Chris is shown getting a massage from a miserable-looking intern. “Ah, yeah, right there…” Chris seems to notice that the camera is rolling. “Oh, yeah. That. Last time, on Total Drama: Return of the Rejects, our contestants competed to defeat the alien menace known as Chef Hatchet. When silent B and his partner from the other team, the moonchild Dawn emerged victorious and were forced to face off in a singing contest, B refused to compete for… religious reasons or something. Why doesn’t that guy talk, anyway? Whatever. In the end, instead of a boring guy who’s just perfect and unspeaking going like we seemed to be set up for, DJ sacrificed himself for him, proving that the nice guy finishes last, literally. What will happen this week? I already know, because we film these in post-production, but you’ll just have to find out on Total… Drama…. Return of the Rejects!”

The contestants are shown walking back from the elimination ceremony. “Well, this is just great,” Anne Maria complains. “First elimination and we lose our strongest guy.”

B is looking pretty upset. “Hey, B-dude, I know you can totally contribute to the team!” Geoff says cheerily, patting B on the back. “You know, if he just started talking and stuff!” B sighs and the group continues walking.

The boys are shown in their trailer. “Well, Silent Bob, I wish you good luck,” says Noah. “You’ve got some big, friendly shoes to fill.”

Justin, who is applying makeup before he goes to bed, smiles sinisterly.

Justin: “DJ’s a nice guy, but I’m not gonna complain if one of the biggest threats in the game takes himself out. I don’t even have to do any work.”

The female trailer is shown. The girls are all keeping to themselves, preparing for bed. Katie and Sadie are shown giggling in a corner. “You know who I think is cute? Trent!” squeals Katie, initiating another round of giggles.

“I know! I do too!” shrieks Sadie, which launches the two into even louder giggles. “But I also think Justin is cute!”

“OMG! I totally do too!” exclaims Katie. The two laugh like hyenas.

“WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?!” yells Eva. The besties are caught off guard. Eva regains her composure. “I mean… will you two please cease talking? I want to go to sleep.”

Eva: “In normal scenarios, I can control myself, but those two are WAY too annoying. They make me want to throw a 300 pound barbell at their stupid little faces. Um, I mean, walk away from them and be reasonably upset.”

The girls are shown all in bed, sleeping. Dakota breathes. Anne Maria sits up in her bed. “THAT’S IT! I CAN’T  SLEEP NEAR THAT WANNABE MOVIE STAR FLOOZIE ANYMORE!”

“Did she just use the term ‘floozie’?” Bridgette asks nobody in particular.

“Well, you’re welcome to go sleep outside, Oompa-Loompa,” mumbles Dakota, half-asleep.

“I think I will!” says Anne Maria, who storms out of the trailer with her pillow. She immediately walks back in and grabs her hair spray. “I mean NOW I will!” She exits once again.

Anne Maria is shown trying to sleep on the ground outside the trailer. “This isn’t working.” She picks up her pillow and her hair spray and knocks on the door of the boys’ trailer.

Ezekiel answers the door, naked. “Oh, hey.”

Anne Maria closes the door and runs back to the girls’ trailer.

Ezekiel: “What? I sleep nude, eh. I mean, it’s all guys in the trailer. It’s fine!”

Brick is shown awaking before the rest of the boys, right at dawn. He tiptoes out of the trailer, being careful not to wake any of the others. He exits the trailer, pulls out a trumpet, and plays taps. Multiple contestants of both genders exit their trailers. “Morning! I’m looking for Staci!” Brick yells at the females who emerged from the trailer.

“Oh, so she’s why my beauty sleep was interrupted, huh?” Blaineley, who is wearing a face mask, walks back in. “STACI! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS CALLING!” she shrieks in a strident voice.

“I’m not her boyfriend,” says Brick, embarrassed. “I’m just gonna help her get into some smaller pants!”

“Your pants?” Izzy suggests.

“No! Well… not necessarily,” Brick says. “I mean, I guess I’m probably a smaller size then her.”

“I’d kind of hope she doesn’t have one at all if I were you,” says Noah, smirking.

“What, a weight loss goal?” Brick says. Trent takes pity on Brick, and walks over to him. He whispers something in Brick’s ear.  “Oh, I see! You’re all making sectional Nintendos!”

“Close enough,” mutters Trent.

Staci finally exits the trailer. “Oh, hey Brick,” she says awkwardly.

“Ready for your workout?” Brick asks.                                                                                         

“DID SOMEBODY SAY WORKOUT?” Tyler leaps out of the boys’ trailer, landing on his face.

“Oh, yah, Brick, about that…” Staci begins. “I kind of want to sleep right now. Yah, my great uncle Bernie invented sleeping. Before him, people just passed out from exhaustion.”

Brick looks crestfallen. “But you said you wanted to lose weight, start exercising.”

“Well… I would like to lose weight…” Staci starts. “But maybe without the exercise part.”

“Liposuction’s always an option,” Blaineley throws out.

“What a coincidence, my uncle invented that!” says Cody. Everyone stares at him. “What? Look it up! He did.”

Brick sighs. “Come on Tyler, let’s go work out.”

“WOOHOO!” yells Tyler, and the two run off into the distance, occasionally tripping over their own feet.

Staci: “Do I feel bad for not following through with the exercise thing? Well, yah, but my aunt Hilda invented not following through on things. Before her, everyone just did exactly what they said they were going to do... Upon thinking, that’s not really a positive contribution.”

The contestants are shown in the mess hall, eating breakfast. Trent pokes the “food” with his fork. “I think my breakfast just begged for mercy.”

“You just need to stab it in the head, put it out of its misery,” Izzy advises.

Everyone in the mess hall simultaneously stabs their food, except Dawn, whose food escaped. “I wasn’t going to eat that anyway,” Dawn says.

Cody is seen approaching Noah in the boys’ trailer. Noah is reading a large novel. “Hey, Noah… I need to talk to you.”

Noah looks up at Cody. “If it’s about that kiss, we were both obviously sleep deprived and delusional! It meant nothing!” he says frantically.

“No, just… Last night, you referred to B as ‘Silent Bob’… I didn’t get it,” Cody admits.

Noah stares at Cody with disgust. “Are you telling me… you haven’t seen Clerks?”

“What’s Clerks?” Cody asks.

“I’m sorry, Cody. We… we can’t be friends if you haven’t seen Clerks,” Noah says, standing and walking away.

Cody: “I don’t know what this ‘Clerks’ thing is, but it’s probably REALLY important. I’d better figure it out soon.”

Sadie is shown walking around with a clipboard. She goes up to Anne Maria. "Petition to save the whales?"

"I don't give a flying fladoodle about whales," says Anne Maria, though 'flying fladoodles' isn't what her lips said.

"Um... petition to make Jersey Shore a show again?"

Anne Maria immediately signs.

Sadie takes the clipboard back. Chris walks in, and she hands it to him. "Okay, you two are officially team-switched.

"WHAT?" Anne Maria looks at Sadie. "What the fudge is that?" she demands, once again looking like a bad Japanese dub.

"Oh, I wanted to switch teams so I could be with Katie again, and this is the signature saying you're cool with it." Sadie happily skips away.

Anne Maria: "Normally, I wouldn't really care. But this means I'm on the same tribe as... her."

Dakota: "Wait... she's on my tribe now?"

Justin is shown looking beautiful, as per usual. He sees Katie walking past him, and he starts following her. He winks at the camera. “Time to put the old Justin charm to the test,” he says quietly. “With the recent development in the team compositions, Katie needs to be seperated from Sadie." He yells, "Hey, Katie, wait up!” He runs up to her.

“Oh, hey Justin! What’s up?” says Katie, now very happy.

“Oh nothing,” says Justin, who removes his shirt. “Kind of hot out here.”

“It’s torrentially raining!” says Katie, who is still smiling.

“Yeah, weather’s funny sometimes,” says Justin, laughing. “Anyway, I was thinking, you and I, we’re pretty much the two best looking people here. We should be in an alliance.”

Katie cannot contain herself. She lets out a monumental squeal, knocking Justin back and reducing his attack sharply.

“That means yes, right?” says Justin, finger in ear.

“Yeah,” says Katie, who walks away.

Justin: “I’m pretty great at manipulating.”

Blaineley is seen looking at Geoff and Bridgette making out, disgusted.

Blaineley: “I still really hate those two. They made up that ridiculous rumor about my name being Mil- well, you know what they called me. I want those two out of this game as soon as possible.”

Blaineley is seen walking up to Trent, smiling devilishly. “Hey, Trent. How’s it going? Still not over Gwen?”

Trent looks at Blaineley for a moment. “You’re not very good at pleasant conversation, are you?”

Blaineley frowns. “Let’s cut to the chase. Geoff and Bridgette are in a pretty, healthy relationship… Unlike what you and Gwen had, which I still have some questions about.”

“I’m going to leave now,” says Trent, who begins to walk away.

“Ugh, fine! I need some material for my gossip blog. We need to break up the happy couple. That’s an automatic alliance,” says Blaineley, grabbing Trent by the arm to keep him from leaving.

Trent contemplates this. “I’ll think about it.”                          

Trent: “No I won’t. I like Geoff and Bridgette, and I hate Blaineley.”

Trent walks over to Geoff and Bridgette. “Hey, guys, just so you know Blaineley is trying to get you two out.”

“But, why, dude? Is it the Mildred thing?” Geoff asks.

“Nah, she said it’s cuz you’re a couple. An automatic alliance,” says Trent.

“The same reason I was voted out on the island!” says Bridgette.

“And both of us in that… place with the… monster and…” Geoff looks bumpuzzled. “I wasn’t there very long!”

“Point is everyone sees us dating as a threat.” Bridgette stands up. “Geoff, I have an idea.”

“Matching tattoos? Awesome, I was thinking the same thing!” says Geoff excitedly.

“No, no more of those…” Bridgette says, putting her hand on her shoulder. “I think we need to break up.”

Geoff looks as if he’s about to cry.

“Well, pretend to break up,” Bridgette finishes.

Geoff returns to his ultra-cheery self again. “Oh, okay. But why?”

“So nobody targets us for being a couple again,” Bridgette states. “We need to do it around a lot of people so everybody knows.”

“Okay, gotcha,” says Geoff, winking. “HEY EVERYBODY! BRIDGETTE AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU OVER HERE!”

Bridgette sighs. “Subtle, Geoff.”

“Thanks, babe,” says Geoff, as Noah walks over. “I mean… I HATE YOU YOU STUPID UGLY WITCH!”

Bridgette looks shocked. “Um… I can’t believe you made out with my sister?”

“AND I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE OUT WITH MY SISTER!” Geoff yells back. Everyone has started to arrive, and they all stare at Bridgette.

“He’s… he’s lying,” says Bridgette, laughing awkwardly. “And that’s why we’re breaking up!”

Geoff stops yelling. “What? No… please babe… don’t. You’re all I have!”

“No, it’s over,” says Bridgette, crossing her arms and turning away from the dejected dudebro.

Geoff then starts hysterically crying.

“Wow, Bridgette,” says Izzy. “You really are pretty cold and heartless.”

“Somebody… somebody… SOMEBODY HOLD ME!” Geoff yells, curling up in a ball. Everyone stares at Bridgette angrily.

“He’ll get over it, I’m sure,” says Bridgette, who awkwardly walks away.

Bridgette: “Well, that didn’t go well. At least I know Geoff has acting to fall back on.”

Geoff: “I actually forgot we were just pretending.”

B is shown carrying a copious amount of wood. Eva walks by him. “What’re you doing with that copious amount of wood?” she asks casually.

B pulls out a blueprint and hands it to Eva. Eva looks at it with a puzzled expression. “I don’t get it. What does it do?”

B pulls out a post-it note that says “HELP” on it.

“Alright, then. Guess I have nothing better to do,” says Eva. “You could use some muscle.”

Staci is seen sitting in her bed, eating a bag of chips. Dawn walks up to her. “Hey, Staci,” she says, sitting down next to her.

“Oh, hey,” says Staci quickly.

“So, um… I just came to say… It was fairly unbecoming of you to turn back on your work-out thing with Brick,” Dawn says delicately.

“Well, my great uncle invented backing out on things, so-“

“Did he?” Dawn asks. “Really?”

Staci sits there silently. “Do you not believe me or something?”

Dawn sighs. “Look. I can tell from your aura that your weight bothers you, but sitting around eating chips all day won’t help.”

Staci looks up from her chips. “They’re reduced fat, though.”

Dawn gives Staci one of those looks your mom gives you when you don’t do the right thing solely because you’re lazy. “Fine, I’ll go work out with Rick,” says Staci, who rolls out of bed.

"His name’s Brick,” Dawn reminds her.

“Really? That’s a dumb name.”

Dawn: “Wow. Brick claims he got her to open up to him. That seems really out of character for Staci, especially if I can’t do it. Oh well.”

Brick and Tyler are seen applying a plethora of bandages onto themselves. Chef Hatchet, in his nurse’s outfit, looks at the two in a way that can only be described as funny. “So, um… How did you two hurt yourselves?” Chef asks, awkwardly.

“Oh, we were out on a run,” says Brick.

“And I won!” yells Tyler, thrusting his fists in the air.

“Did you two… fall?” a confused Chef asks.

“Yes, multiple times,” says Brick. “I counted twenty-seven.”

“Really? I only counted twenty-three,” Tyler says.

Chef notices that Tyler’s ears are bleeding. “Tyler, I think you might have had a concussion.”

Tyler pauses for a moment. “Nah, probably not.” He turns to Brick. “Wanna play some ultimate Frisbee next?”

“Heck yeah I do!” shouts Brick, high-fiving Tyler. The two run out of the room, Tyler leaving two trails of blood from his ears.

Chef Hatchet: “I’m sure Tyler will be fine. And if not… I don’t actually really like this job, so…”

Ezekiel is shown walking up to Sadie and Katie, who are in the middle of a squealing session. “Sup, b****s?” he says. Sadie immediately slaps him.

“You sexist pig!” she yells.

“Hey, sorry, eh!” Ezekiel says, covering his now reddened face. “I was just trying to be like Kanyon East.  He’s my favorite rapper.”

Izzy rides by on a small bear carrying a large barrel of toxic waste. “That guy’s crazy,” she states as she passes.

Izzy: “I mean, he has no self-awareness at all. He doesn’t understand how others perceive him.” Izzy starts spooning the toxic waste out of the barrel and feeding it to the bear. “You’re gonna be Super Bear when I’m done with you.”

Ezekiel sits down next to the two totes twinning besties.

“What do you even want?” Sadie asks.

“Nothin’, eh. Just sittin’,” Ezekiel says. “With my good buddy Katie,” he adds.

“We are not friends,” Katie says.

" What?” Zeke asks incredulously. “Not even after I selflessly sacrificed myself for you in that challenge?”

“Oh, yeah,” says Katie. “Totes forgot that. I guess we’re kinda friends now.” Ezekiel smiles.

“Um, I need to speak to Katie behind that bush for a second, Ezekiel,” says Sadie. “Girl stuff, you know.” Sadie pulls her friend behind a nearby bush. “Katie! What the h-e-double hockey sticks? That guy’s, like, totally sexist!”

“OMG, I thought that too, but then I remembered how cool he was in the challenge yesterday!” Katie says. “I think we should give him a chance.”

Sadie sighs. “You can if you, like, want. I’ll just go hang out with someone else while you do.”

Katie looks stunned. “But… we haven’t not hung out together in-“

“Three years,” says Sadie. “Yeah, totes. It’ll just be until you realize how terrible Zeke is.” Sadie hugs her best friend. “Stay strong.” She then walks away.

“Can I come behind the bush now? Or are you still talking about peeing while sitting down?” Ezekiel yells from offscreen.

Katie stands up. “Why did you assume we were talking about that?” she asks.

“Well, you said girl stuff, so…” Ezekiel shrugs.

Sadie is shown walking towards the trailer. Leaning against the trailer is Geoff, who’s still crying over his “break-up”. “Oh, hey, Geoff.”

Geoff responds in some way, but it is undecipherable due to his intense weeping. Sadie sits down next to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Geoff stops crying and sniffs. “Okay.”

Sadie: “Man, Geoff had, like, a pretty hard childhood it turns out. Also, he’s like, pretty cute.”

Dakota and Anne Maria are seen walking past each other.

Dakota suddenly turns around. “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?”

Anne Maria turns twice as fast. “ARE YOU TRYING TO START SOMETHING?”

The two begin having a catfight. Blaineley, Trent, and Noah watch from a distance. “Those two fighting like two 9-year-olds playing a first person shooter can’t be good for the team,” says Noah.

“I didn’t really get that analogy, but I agree,” says Blaineley, pouting. “It’ll only hold us back in challenges.”

“We need somebody to mediate,” says Noah. Both he and Blaineley look at Trent.

“Why me?” Trent asks.

“Well, I’m certainly not doing it,” says Blaineley.

“And I’m not all that great with ‘people’, according to… most people. And then, if it’s not you, it’s either Staci, who is a compulsive liar who seems to have her own issues, Eva, who’s about as sensitive as a chainsaw, Ezekiel, who has never even gone to real school, Geoff, who’s still crying about his breakup, or B, who DOESN’T EVEN TALK,” Noah points out.

“Good point,” says Trent, after a moment. “I guess it’s up to me.”

Eva and B are shown still building… whatever it is that B wants built.

Eva: “I’m not exactly sure what Beverly’s building, but it’s big, and has a lot of heavy pieces. Good for my weight training, I guess.”

B is shown carrying one steel beam.

Eva sees this and picks up two.

B sees this, and picks up three, seemingly effortlessly.

Eva struggles to increase her amount to four.

B goes to five.

Eva tries to lift six but collapses under them.

B: He shows a note that reads, “Do you even lift, Eva?”

Trent is shown with Dakota and Anne Maria, both sitting in chairs across from him. “So… what do you think is causing you two to fight?” he asks, imitating a psychologist as best he can.

“I hate her guts,” says Anne Maria.

“She’s just jealous that I’m prettier than her,” Dakota says.

“You wanna go there, Mutant? DO YOU?” Anne Maria stands up, ready to get loud too wtf.

“Sam still liked me as a mutant,” Dakota says smugly.

“Your boyfriend is an unfunny Seth Rogen,” says Anne Maria.

“At least I didn’t date EZEKIEL!” Dakota yells.

“HE GAVE ME A DIAMOND!” Anne Maria yells, tackling Dakota.

At some point during this fight, Trent managed to slip away.

Chef Hatchet is shown standing between the two trailers, dressed as a medieval town crier. He blows a trumpet, making some sort of horrible noise that sounds like an elephant choking on a hippo through a megaphone.

“Don’t worry, Dumbo!” yells Brick, who arrives on the scene. “I know CPR!” He sees Chef with his trumpet. “Oh, hey.” 

The rest of the contestants arrive within the next two minutes.

“So, I’m assuming that means the next challenge is starting,” says Noah.

Chef looks at Noah with hate. “Maybe! Or maybe I just FELT LIKE PLAYING MY TRUMPET WITH MY MEDIEVAL TOWN CRIER’S OUTFIT ON?” he yells right in Noah’s face.

“Hey, man, I don’t know,” says Noah, backing away.

Sadie and Geoff arrive last, and they’re both holding hands and giggling. When they walk past Bridgette, Geoff stops. “Oh, hey, Bridgette. You met my girlfriend? SADIE. She’s way cooler and more supportive than you ever were.” Sadie smiles.

Geoff: “At that point I was still not aware that we only pretend broke up.”

Bridgette looks at Geoff incredulously. “I’m not even mad,” she says.

Katie runs up to Sadie, and hugs her. “OMG! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!”

Justin eyes Sadie and Geoff with suspicion.

Justin: “As the beautiful mastermind around here, I need to keep track of these things. If those two are dating, they’re like an automatic alliance. And I certainly don’t want one of those in the game…”

At that moment, an intern-drawn carriage arrives. It stops next to the contestants, it’s wheel running over Tyler’s foot. Chris jumps out, dressed as a king. “Greetings, my loyal subjects!”

“I HAVE NO LOYALTY TO YOU! YOUR RULE IS UNJUST!” Izzy punches Chris in the face, knocking him to the ground. “REVOLUTION!”

The interns who pulled the chariot applaud, earning them an angry look from Chris, who gets up and dusts himself off. “Anyway… Today’s challenge is titled… GAME OF THRONES!”

Bridgette raises her hand. “Isn’t that like, a copyrighted name?”

Chris reconsiders. “GAME OF… KING CHAIRS!”

“I really hope this challenge doesn’t include the gratuitous nudity part of that show,” says Cody.

“I’d be okay with that,” says Anne Maria, looking at Justin.

“Before this gets too R-rated, let’s explain the challenge!” Chris segues. “Each team will select a king or queen-”

“I CALL IT!” yells Blaineley.

“-who the other team must capture and bring back to their base.”

“Nevermind,” Blaineley says. “Staci should do it, she’d be hard to carry.”

Staci looks pretty hurt by this.

“Sorry, Blaineley, you called it,” says Chris, snickering. “Any volunteers from the Nematodes?”

“Well, I’d say I look the most kingly out of all of us,” says Justin. “But alas, I don’t want any of them putting their greasy hands on me.”

“I’ll do it!” Sadie says. “I could use the non-workout.”

At the word workout, Staci again seems kind of sad.

“Okay! Now, each team will have a castle-“

“Where are the castles?” Dawn asks.

“Somewhere over there,” says Chris, annoyed. “Anyway-“

“In which direction?” Dawn asks. “You didn’t point in any direction you just said ‘over there’.”

“That way.” Chris points to the left.

“Oh, okay. Thank you,” says Dawn, smiling.

“Both teams will have a castle, in between the castles is a ten square mile battlefield. They will fight to capture the other team’s Queen, and the team who brings the opposing team’s Queen back to their throne first wins,” says Chris, quickly, so nobody could interrupt.

Chef carries in a large chest, and an intern carries a second. “Armor here!”

Chris smirks. “Oh yeah. This is special expensive sensor armor. If you get hit too hard with one of the swords that come with them, it’ll set off an alarm, and you’re dead. And you’ve gotta play dead.”

" Wait, so we’re… actually fighting?” Tyler asks, terrifiedly looking at Eva.

Chris pats Tyler on the back. “Yep! Good luck!”

Eva: “I know I can crush most of these losers in a fight. The only one I’m worried about is Izzy. She’s crafty. Much smarter than she looks.”

Izzy: “Are there boy ladybugs?”

The Nematodes are shown at their red castle. They are all dressed as knights, except Blaineley, who is dressed as a queen. “Okay, my slaves!” Blaineley claps her hands. “I’m in charge now.”

“What makes you think that?” Bridgette asks.

"The crown,” says Blaineley, pointing to her crown. “Anyway, I want two of you on PERSONAL bodyguard duty. How about… Noah and Eva?”

“Why us?” Noah asks.

“Brains and brawn kind of thing, I guess,” says Blaineley.

“Whatever,” grunts Eva.

Eva: “I am considering letting them hurt Blaineley a bit before I save her.”

“What about the rest of us?” Trent asks.

“Thank you, Trent, for volunteering to lead the attack,” says Blaineley, who is still focused on her crown.

“Okay then,” says Trent. “Let’s go, I guess.” The remaining Nematodes head out into the battlefield.

The Tapeworms are shown at their green castle, Sadie being their queen. “So, who’s in charge?” Cody asks.

“I guess the queen?” Brick suggests.

Sadie looks at Brick blankly. “No… I think… Brick should be in charge. He’s a soldier, sorta.”

“I AM a soldier sorta!” Brick says excitedly. “ALRIGHT! LET’S DO THIS FOR QUEEN DAKOTA! CHARGEEEEE!!!!” Brick runs out of the castle onto the battlefield, followed only by an enthusiastic Tyler.

“Okay, Justin, you’re the real leader,” says Sadie.

“Alright,” says Justin. “Katie and Bridgette, come with me. Cody, Izzy, and Dawn, you’re the other squad. You stay and defend Sadie.”

Justin leads his group onto the battlefield. Once he’s gone, Cody excuses myself. “Sorry, guys, I need to go figure out what Clerks is. I’ll just go look it up on the computer in Chris’ trailer. I’ll be back!” He scurries off.

“Wow, he’s never seen Clerks?” Izzy says.

“Nerd,” says Dawn.

Tyler and Brick are shown running down the battlefield, occasionally tripping. They eventually get tired and decide to rest under a tree. “Wow, Brick,” says Tyler. “Fighting for your kingdom’s honor sure works up an appetite.”

“Luckily for us, I brought snacks!” Brick says, reaching into a backpack he had brought.

“Oh boy! What is it?” Tyler asks.

“Spam!”

Tyler is silent. “What’s that?”

“Canned ham. It’s delicious!” Brick hands Tyler a Spam cam.

Tyler tosses his over his shoulder when Brick isn’t looking. “Yum! I enjoyed that so much that I ate the can!”

“That can’t be good for you,” says Brick, who had already eaten all of his Spam (sans the can). “Well, let’s head out and fight some people.”

The two brave adventurers run off, and fall into a nearby ditch.

Trent leads B, Dakota, Ezekiel, Geoff, Anne Maria, and Staci through the battlefield. “I don’t think I could bring myself to fight Sadie, you know? She’s just so sweet and supportive,” says Geoff to Staci, who nods eagerly.

“Yah. You know, my aunt Hilda invented Sadie. It was overall a success, though she turned out a bit overweight,” says Sadie, right before Geoff stabs her in the stomach with his sword. Her armor lets out a high-pitched buzz. “What the heck, Geoff?”

“NEVER TALK ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT!” Geoff yells.

“This scrub’s a traitor!” yells Anne Maria. “He killed one of our own! He needs to go!” Anne Maria pulls out her sword and approaches Geoff.

Dakota, noticing this prime opportunity to fight Anne Maria, pulls out her sword. “Over my dead body!”

Trent, B, and Ezekiel watch this unfold. “Wanna just keep movin’, eh?” Zeke says.

“Yeah.”

Justin, Katie, and Bridgette are shown sitting about six feet from their castle. “I thought we were gonna attack them, Justin?” Katie, who is resting her head on Justin’s lap, asks.

“I considered that, but ultimately, I think this is much more enjoyable,” says Justin.

“Well we need to do something,” Bridgette stands up. “Why don’t you two stay and defend, and I’ll get some of the others to attack with me!”

“No, wait, Bridgette!” Justin grabs Bridgette’s arm as she starts to walk away. “I picked you for my group for a reason.” Justin smiles.

“I have a boyfriend, Justin!” Bridgette says. “I mean… I just broke up with my boyfriend and I’m not ready for a relationship right now!”

“Sure, sure,” says Justin. “That’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Geoff’s got a rebound girl already.”

“Yeah, Sadie!” Katie chimes in happily.

“We need to vote Sadie out,” says Justin.

Katie’s jaw drops. “But… Justin…”

“Look, Kate. You need to make a choice. Sadie, or me?” Justin crosses his arms and awaits an answer.

Katie: “OMG! This is gonna be such a tough choice! I mean, Sadie and I have been best friends for years, but Justin is so totally hot! And Sadie has my best interests at heart while Justin is much more selfish, but Justin is also SUPER HOT!”

“I’m in,” says Katie, shocking Bridgette.

Katie: “When I think about it, it was actually really obvious!”

“Okay, why do we need to vote her out? She’s harmless,” Bridgette says. “Especially compared to manipulative jerks like you.”

Justin smiles. “Not a little jealous that Geoff has already gotten over you?”

Bridgette frowns. “A little I guess.”

“Well, we need to break up the showmances. We were considering voting you out for the same reason before you two broke up,” Justin stands up. “I think we should get moving now.”

Cody is shown hiding in a bush, as two interns walk past. He smiles deviously, and then in an instant emerges from the bush and karate chops one of the interns.

“Ow, dude. What the heck?” The other intern pushes Cody down.

“Sorry. I was hoping I’d knock you out in one hit,” says Cody.

“You knocked out a tooth man,” says the pained intern.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” Cody says.

“You’re gonna hear from my lawyers, man!” says the karate-chopped intern.

Cody: “I feel bad, but it’s all in the pursuit of Clerks. I wonder what it is. Probably something really important if Noah wants me to see it so bad. Maybe it’s the cure to cancer.”

Dawn is shown guarding Sadie. “Where did Carmen go?”

Sadie, who had been sleeping, wakes up suddenly. “Who? Izzy?”

“Is that her name? She introduced herself to me as Carmen,” Dawn says. “That certainly is strange.”

“Yeah, she’s like, insane,” Sadie states. “Ignore it.”

Izzy is shown hiding behind the same bush Cody was sitting behind. The two interns are still sitting there.

“Man, my mouth still really hur-“ The bloody-mouthed intern is hit by a blow dart, and faints.

“Okay, what the actual heck is going on?” The second intern stands up and looks around.

Izzy is behind him. She puts he sword from the challenge at his throat. “Where’s Cody?”

“He went that way!” the panicked intern yells. “Just don’t kill me!”

“Alright!” says Izzy, happily letting the intern go.

Izzy: “I got sort of bored, so I think I’m going to hunt Cody for sport. I’ve always wanted to try it, and it’s about as good a time as any.”

Blaineley is shown sitting at her throne, with Eva and Noah next to her. “So why did you REALLY choose us to stay with you?” Noah asks.

Blaineley smiles evilly. “What? You two seem like good kids.”

Eva raises her sword. “I’m not afraid to teamkill.”

Blaineley’s expression turns to disgust. “Fine. You two are both fairly competent. I figured we’d make a decent alliance.”

“Why would we work with a D-list celebrity like you?” Noah asks, bored.

“Because I can give you ten thousand dollars?” Blaineley suggests. “I just got my divorce money.”

“You were married?” Eva asks.

“To Chris, actually,” says Blaineley casually. “It lasted six weeks. I don’t really know what happened. Luckily, we got it over with quietly and none of the paparazzi noticed.”

“I’ll take the money,” says Eva eagerly.

“If you insist,” says Noah, grinning.

Noah: “Now I have an alliance, and a way to blackmail one of the members. But I like to think I’m above blackmail.” Noah bursts out laughing. “No, no, that was a joke, I’m in no way above blackmail.”

Trent, Ezekiel, and B are outside of the Nematodes’ castle, in ninja stealth mode. “I say we just charge em, eh. Beat ‘em with manpower.” Ezekiel flexes his arm.

“No, that’s a terrible idea,” says Trent flatly. “Most of your ideas today have been terrible.”

“Chocolate pancakes was a great idea, man!” Ezekiel protests.

“Besides that.” Trent stands. “Let’s head in, guys.”

Brick and Tyler are shown crawling through the battlefield, exhausted. “No food… no water… we’re doomed, man…” Tyler says, coughing.

“We… we can make it, private... we can…” Brick collapses on his face. Tyler quickly crawls over to him.

“BRICK! NO!” Tyler shakes Brick.

“Put me out of my misery, Tyler,” Brick says quietly. Tyler stabs Brick in the heart with his sword.

“I’m sorry, sir…” A single tear falls from Tyler’s eye.

Tyler: “It was at that moment that I realized I needed to keep going. To avenge Brick!”

Tyler is shown standing up and running, yelling “FOR BRICK!” He runs for five seconds and runs into B, who immediately eliminates him from the challenge.

Anne Maria and Dakota are in the middle of an intense swordfight, with Geoff standing by, watching.

“You… can’t beat me…” Dakota says, deflecting one of Anne Maria’s blows.

“YES I CAN!” says Anne Maria, swinging for Dakota’s head. Dakota is knocked out by the hard blow. Anne Maria stands over her defeated enemy and begins to cheer, but then Geoff stabs her in the back.

“What the hell, Geoff?” Anne Maria says.

“You do remember you originally wanted to fight me for killing Staci, right?” Geoff asks.

“Hi,” says Staci, who is playing dead, from the ground.

“Oh yeah, good move,” says Anne Maria, who proceeds to play dead.

The attacking force of Katie, Bridgette, and Justin are shown to have reached the Tapeworms’ castle. Noah is on the ground, already defeated, but the three Nematodes are struggling to fight Eva all at the same time.

“Justin, do something,” says Katie, who is knocked back into a wall by Eva, which eliminates her.

“What am I supposed to do?” Justin says. Eva starts focusing on him. Justin is too focused on protecting his face go guard his chest, and Eva defeats him, too, leaving Bridgette.

“Oh God no,” says Bridgette, seeing the towering woman in front of her.

“Not to fear!” a high, annoying voice yells. “Dawn and Sadie are here!”

“Oh, thank goodness,” says Bridgette sarcastically. “Why aren’t you two at the base?”

“Oh, it got boring,” says Sadie. “Cody and Izzy just left.”

“Wait, what?”

Izzy is shown carrying a large butterfly net. Within it is a bizarrely Cody-shaped butterfly.

B, Trent, and Ezekiel are shocked to find the Nematodes’ castle empty. “They must have gone to attack our base,” says Trent.

“Is this even allowed, yo?” Zeke asks.

“We’ll never get back there in time to stop them,” Trent says.

B notices a catapult prop nearby. He points it out to his two teammates.

“I trust him,” says Zeke, who runs over to the catapult.

Eva laughs at the three attacking Nematodes. “You three really think you can handle me?”

" Yeah, woo, go Eva,” says Blaineley, who is bored reading a book on her throne.

“Well, I don’t realistically think that but-“Bridgette is cut down in the middle of saying this.

“Oh my,” says Dawn, who starts running.

Eva begins to chase Dawn throughout the castle. Luckily for Dawn, B, Ezekiel, and Trent have launched themselves off the catapult, and they land right on top of Eva. The impact from this eliminates all four of them.

“Wow, I did it!” says Dawn, jumping up and down.

“Yeah, yay Dawn!” says Sadie, who had been watching with a bag of chips.

“Damn, that’s everyone isn’t it?” Blaineley asks. “I guess we lose. Carry me to your castle.”

“Oh,” Dawn says. “Forgot that part.”

Dawn walks over, struggles to life Blaineley, and starts walking back to her castle. Sadie stays behind, eating her chips.

A few minutes later, Geoff walks in. “Oh, sup babe?” Geoff gives Sadie a kiss on the cheek. “Wanna make out on the throne over there?”

“Sure!” Sadie squeals.

“I’m right here!” Bridgette points out as the two walk over to the throne.

Chris breaks through the wall of the castle, which is revealed to be made of paper. “AND THE GOPHERS WIN IMMUNITY!

Geoff looks at Chris. “Gophers?”

Chris seems puzzled. “Geoff’s team wins!”

“Oh sweet!” Geoff high fives Sadie.

Izzy returns with Cody on a leash. “Oh, did we lose? Sorry, guys.”

“Where were you two?” Justin asks angrily.

“Oh, I was finding out what Clerks was,” says Cody. “Turns out it’s a movie.”

Noah gives Cody a nod of approval.

“And I was hunting Cody for sport,” says Izzy, tugging on the leash.

“Well that was pretty dumb of you,” says Bridgette.

Cody: “I know I theoretically cost my team the challenge, but you know what? There’s no way I could have beaten any of these people in a fight.”

Justin and Katie are shown approaching Bridgette. “So, Bridge… can I call you Bridge?” Justin asks.

Bridgette sighs. “I don’t think we should vote Sadie out. Izzy and Cody cost us the challenge. Dawn, Tyler, Brick and I all agreed to vote for Izzy.” Bridgette looks at Katie. “And I’m disappointed in you for betraying your friend.”

“Justin’s hot, though. Sadie would, like, totally understand,” Katie says quickly.

“Whatever,” says Bridgette, who slowly walks away. On her walk, she sees Geoff and Sadie canoodling and such.

She turns back around. “Nevermind. I’m in.”

Bridgette: “I’m not jealous, just… it’s Sadie! Why would he pick Sadie of all people?”

Tyler is shown approaching Cody, who is sitting with Noah. “Hey, Codemeister! I know you cost us the challenge and stuff, but don’t we all sometimes?”

“Well, I mean, the three of us all have,” says Noah. “But I don’t think, like, Geoff ever really has.”

“Man, I wish he was on our team,” says Tyler. “So Code, we’re voting Izzy, cool?”

“Sounds good. Anybody but me,” says Cody, looking relieved.

“Now we can go back to discussing Clerks,” says Noah. “Run along Tyler.”

Tyler runs along, but falls.

Sadie and Katie are seen sitting together. Katie is looking depressed. “What’s wrong, Kate?”

Katie sighs. “Nothing. Just… wondering who to vote for.”

“Oh. I’m voting for Izzy. She’s insane and frankly scares me,” says Sadie.

“Oh, I guess that’s an option,” says Katie.

Katie: “I feel guilty, of course… but Justin’s still really hot no matter how guilty I feel.”

Justin is shown sitting with Cody and Izzy. “Do you two know why you are here?”

“I was told there’d be snacks,” says Cody.

“There aren’t any.”

Cody gets up to leave.

“NO! Stop! Please!” Justin pulls a graham cracker out of his pocket. “Eat this, just listen.”

Cody nibbles on his graham cracker.

“I need to inform you… Sadie is masterminding you twos’ elimination,” says Justin.

Izzy gasps. Cody spits out his graham cracker. “Sadie?” Izzy asks. “The fat possibly-Asian possible just pale one?”

“Yeah,” says Justin. “Turns out she’s an evil mastermind type.”

“Who woulda thunk it,” says Izzy, who leans back.

“Indeed. She needs to go,” the male model says. “I need your twos’ help.”

“Wait a minute,” Cody protests. “Sadie? She can’t even tie her own shoes!”

“It was all a clever ruse,” the incredible hunk says. “You can’t fall for this Cody. You need to vote for the true evil here.”

Cody: “I sort of doubt Sadie’s evil… but I believe that people are targeting me.”

The Tapeworms are shown at the elimination ceremony. Chris sits in front of them all, with broccoli visibly stuck in his teeth. “Welcome, losers. Thanks to Cody’s living under a rock his whole life and Izzy’s secret cannibalistic desires, you guys lost today,” says Chris. “Guess it’s time to vote!” he adds cheerfully.

“Whoa whoa whoa man!” Cody says. “That kind of painted us in a negative light!”

“Dude, you’ve never seen Clerks,” says Brick. “That’s pretty negative.”

The contestants pick up their voting devices and begin to vote.

After a moment, Chef steps out with a plate. On it, eight Gilded Chris statues.

Chris pulls out a card from his pocket. “The first Gilded Chris of the night goes to… Bridgette.”

Bridgette catches hers and gives Sadie a nasty smile.

“Brick. Tyler. Justin. Katie.”

The four of them receive their statues, Tyler’s giving him a nosebleed, Brick’s hitting him in the groin.

“Dawn. Cody.”

Dawn catches hers and looks relieved. Cody catches his and looks even more relieved.

“So it comes down to Izzy and Sadie…” Chris begins. “One who is crazy and hunts people for sport… and one who is pretty much harmless. The final Chris goes to…

…Izzy, for whatever reason. Sadie, get outta here.”

“Wait!” Sadie says, standing up. “Can I at least say goodbye to Geoff!”

Geoff runs onto the stage. “Oh, hey, Sadie… about that whole us dating thing? Turns out I only PRETEND broke up with Bridgette! Yeah. Funny, huh? Anyway, we’re not dating, I’m dating Bridgette.”

Bridgette smiles.

Bridgette: “I knew he’d make the right choice.”

“Aw, seriously?” Sadie is picked up by Chef as she says this, and thrown into the Limo of Losers.

As she is driven away, Katie begins to cry hysterically.

Katie: “I’ve made a huge mistake.”

Justin: “Who’s the ‘fail villain’ now?”

Chris is shown standing on the stage. “Well, Sadie is out! Good! Maybe Katie can get a storyline not involving her! Will the Tapeworms regret keeping a girl who’s probably out to murder them all? My guess is yes, and soon, but we’ll have to find out next time, on Total! Drama! Return of the Rejects!”

Chapter Four- The Japanese Genres Homage! Shocking Elimination And Uncomfortable Fanservice Revealed!

This chapter was written by Rhonda  ;)

Chris and Chef are shown in their pajamas in Chris’ dressing room, with Chef giving Chris a manicure.

“And so I was like ‘no’,” Chef states. “But they were like ‘you are’, and I was all ‘uh uh!’ but then she snapped her fingers and yelled ‘uh huh!’ And I realized I kind of was. So… long story short, that’s why I ended up converting to-“

“I am so pretty,” Chris interrupts.

“Uh…don’t you have to do a recap right about now?” Chef asks.

The cameraman clears his throat.

Chris and Chef stare at the camera.

“Remind me to edit this out,” Chris states. “Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Rejects, Sadie tricked Anne Maria into switching teams; putting Sadie with her best friend Katie while Anne Maria was stuck with her worst enemy Dakota. Bridgette and Geoff pretended to break up to better their chances, expect Geoff forgot and started dating Sadie. …Geoff is an idiot. The teams competed in ‘GAME OF KING CHAIRS’ a totally not copyrighted name, where teams had to capture the other team’s queen and bring them back to their team base. I thought of the concept myself.”

“I helped!” Chef shouts.

“Whatever,” Chris replies, flipping his hair. “The Nematodes lost, and decided to vote out Sadie who perceived to be a threat due to manipulating Anne Maria so she could secure an alliance with Katie and dating Geoff to use him in the future. …Or cause Katie betrayed her for Justin and everyone else voted her off for being an annoying filler character. Either way, she’s probably in an alley somewhere. What will happen now on Total Drama: Revenge of the Rejects!”

The Nematodes are shown walking back to their cabins after their most recent elimination, with Geoff tagging along. They run into the Tapeworms, looking to see whom the newest loser is.

“It looks like Sadie left,” Noah says solemnly.  

“Wait who?” Anne Maria asks.

Noah instantly lifts his head and shrugs his shoulders. “An annoying filler character.”

“I’m gonna miss Sadie,” Bridgette states. “…Even though I barely knew her. She was true teammate…even though she just joined team and cost us the challenge. ”

“Please,” Blaineley states. “You’re so fake.”

“I’m not fake,” the surfer. “I’m real!”

“Real, like how you and Geoff pretended to break up?” Blaineley asks.

Everyone gasps.

“I’m afraid you can’t keep secrets from me,” Blaineley states. “I’m a professional celebrity journalist.”

“Didn’t Geoff say that to Sadie in front of our whole team last night?” Dawn asks.

“Shh!” the gossip reporter hushes.

“Wow, even I think you guys are jerks,” Izzy states. “And I gave a bear cancer from feeding it toxic waste.”

“We aren’t jerks,” Geoff states. “We just told a lie in hopes of tricking you all to better ourselves in this game. Would a jerk do that?”

“I love you Geoff,” Bridgette states. “But you’re an idiot.”

Blaineley: Ha! Now everybody hates Geoff and Bridgette and will vote them out. After all, everyone knows couples are an automatic alliance.

Later that morning, Katie is sitting alone on a rock crying. Ezekiel approaches her.

“Hey Katie,” Ezekiel states. “...Miss Sadie, eh?”

Katie nods. “I miss her like so bad! I miss the sound of her voice, the look of her smiling face, the smell of her pungent odor. I mean she’s probably in alley somewhere! And you know the worst part about it?”

“The odor?”

“I helped vote of Sadie.”

Ezekiel gasps. “But why?”

“For a boy,” Katie states. “For Justin of all people. I mean, did he live next door to me for years? Does he wear the same outfit as me? Was he my first kiss?”

“Well…wait did you-“

Katie bawls more. Ezekiel pats her on the back.

Katie: I really appreciate Zeke trying to comfort me when I was down. He is a sweet guy actually. And now I realize what I have to do: I have to eliminate Justin and get revenge for Sadie!

Justin: I saw Katie getting really close with Ezekiel this morning. What’s she doing with that nose picker? I mean, I’m not jealous. But they could form a couple, and everyone knows couples are an automatic alliance.

A bit later at breakfast, Cody is shown watching Dawn from the corner, she’s holding a baby bird.

The moonchild nuzzles the chick. “You poor dear, did your mommy forget to feed you? Maybe I can help…”

Cody: I’ve decided to move on from Gwen. She’s actually kind of an awful person, now that I look back at her during her seasons. I’m sure I can get a lady here. Preferably on my team. I tried with Izzy the other day, but she was more interested in hunting me. Bridgette’s taken, Katie’s Justin obsessed…so Dawn would be my best bet. Besides she is similar to Gwen, but you know is actually doesn’t mind socializing.

Cody sits down next to Dawn and winks.

“Hey there.”

…BLEH!”

Dawn vomits into the baby bird’s mouth, which shallows the pre-chewed contents.

“Oh, hello Cody. …What’s wrong?”

Cody gulps. “You got a little something on the side your face.”

Dawn takes and napkin and wipes away a still wiggling head (or maybe butt) of a worm.

“Sorry. Was there something you wanted to say?”

“Uh…nevermind.”

Cody stands up.

“Oh, are you going? You haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” Cody replies.

Dawn smiles down at the little bird. “More for you and I then little one.”

She takes the butt (or head) of the worm head of the napkin, and begins chewing it as the bird happily chirps.

Cody: Maybe I can try Izzy again.

Dawn: My senses tell me Cody was seeking to pursue a romantic interest with me, but I think he lost interest in me. I think that’s a good thing, people view couples here as automatic alliances. Besides he isn’t the one I’m crushing on here…not that I’m crushing on anyone here…(blushes)

Later, the contestants are gathered together.

Chris is in a karate-uniform and bows before the contestants. “Good day contestants, are you ready for your latest challenge?”

“What’s with the pajamas?” Geoff asks.

“Geoff you’re an idiot,” Noah states. “That’s a karate uniform. Which means today’s challenge will mock someone’s culture.”

“Correct,” Chris replies. “Because today’s challenge is about Japan!”

“Are we doing World Tour now?” Katie asks.

Anne Maria smiles. “Does that mean we’ll have to sing?”

“Oh god no,” Chris states. “See, Total Drama is very popular in Japan; particularly Total Drama Action. Though the dubbing team thought Action’s ‘storyline’ was crap, so they changed a few things.”

“Like what?” Cody asks.

Chris shrugs. “It was something about a forbidden romance, some animal sidekicks, and Lindsay really being a villain. There was also a lot of sexual tension between the males. A lot.”

“Not to different from canon,” Izzy whispers.

Chris continues. “Since this season is like Action, we wanna make it liked by Japanese audiences. So today’s challenge will be a homage to Japanese anime and movies!”

“How exciting!” Dawn states.

Staci nods. “Yeah my great, great, great, grandpa’s dog’s owner’s sister’s grandchild’s great grandparents actually-“

Chris shoves Staci to the ground. “That’s great. Now before we can continue, you all need to put on some costumes...”

A little later, the contestants meet Chris again, all wearing stereotypical anime costumes, as though they came from a convention.

“Why are all the girls outfits so…inappropriate?” Bridgette asks, pointing to a ‘boob window’ in her costume.

“My producers say this is a homage to the Ecchi genre of anime,” the esteemed host replies. “aka the ‘TV appropriate fan service genre.’”

“It’s not just the girls’ costumes either,” Izzy states, motioning to an uncomfortable Noah and his ‘cheek-less chaps’.

“Are first genre homage will be to the Kaiju genre,” Chris announces, reading from an index card. “This is the ‘giant monster attacking Tokyo’ genre. Two members from each team will lead a team of interns and build a giant monster. They’ll be judged at the end of the challenge.”

“How are we supposed to build a giant monster?” Blaineley asks.

“How were you built?” the host replies, snickering at his own joke. “Remember the giant monster from the first episode of Action? Yeah, we scrapped him. You’ll be using the same parts and anything else you find to construct your monster.”

“You ‘scrapped’ one of my old boyfriends?” Izzy asks.

Chris nods. “Basically took him out behind the shed and put him down.”

“Could you do that with any of my other old boyfriends?” Izzy inquires.

“So who should we pick for the challenge, eh?” Ezekiel asks.

“Oh didn’t I mention?” Chris asks. “Everyone has been randomly assigned his or her part in the challenge. For the Tapeworms, B and Geoff. While for the Nematodes, Cody and Katie. That way there is someone competent building the robots and then a complete boob.”

“Cody’s not that big a boob,” Katie says.

“You four get to work,” Chris states. “The rest of you come with me for the next part of the challenge.”

Inside a film studio, the contestants find themselves in a dojo set. A large, white circle takes up most of the wooden floor.

Chris flips through his notecards again. “This next challenge is a homage to the Jidai Geki genre, a period piece genre during the era of Samurais…whatever eras those were.”

“What, did you do all your research on TV Tropes?” Noah asks.

“…Maybe…”

Eva groans. “GET ON WITH IT!”

“Right,” Chris replies. “This portion of the challenge is called Sumo Samurais. Basically, two members from each team will be issued wooden katanas and stand in the large ring in the center. Like sumo, you lose if any part of you is outside of the ring. First team to win two rounds wins this portion of the challenge.”

“Why am I not surprised this is the best you could do to appeal to Japanese audiences,” Noah remarks.

“Why did you just volunteer for the first round?” Chris asks. “Of course Noah. You and Trent can compete for the Tapeworms, while Bridgette and Justin will compete for the Nematodes.”

The smart aleck rolls his eyes. “Do you really think we haven’t handle princess over there. Bridgette isn’t that big a problem either.”

“Didn’t you have a crush on Bridgette in your last season?” Trent questions.

“Did you have an obsession with your girlfriend who ended tossing you aside for a bad boy on your last season?” Noah retorts.

“Fair enough.”

The four receive swords and prepare to duel.

“Alright I’m taking out Justin,” Trent states. “This for trying to use me here, and causing my elimination in Total Drama Action…and hogging the bathroom when we were a boy band.”

“I’m going to eliminate Justin,” Noah corrects. “He’s the anti-me.”

“I’m going to be the one to eliminate Justin,” Bridgette states.

“…But we’re on the same team,” the model reminds her.

“Oh yeah…darn.”

“START ALREADY!” Eva demands.

Justin throws his sword at Noah’s head, but misses.

The model sighs. “How did I miss such a square, fat head?”

“It is pretty square,” Trent states.

The musician charges at Bridgette, and the two enter a struggle. Meanwhile, Noah puts little effort in whacking Justin with his sword, even using the wrong end. But it’s enough to send the male model to flinching out of the circle.

Noah paces himself towards Trent. “It was pretty cruel of you to treat Sadie like that.”

Bridgette turns around to the brain. “I didn’t mean for Sadie to get hurt. Why are you even bringing that up now?”

Trent proceeds to shove Bridgette out of the circle.

“Does that answer your question?”

Chris claps. “Point for the Nematodes. Next, Izzy and Dawn for the Nematodes and Eva and Staci for the Tapeworms.”

Eva surprisingly chuckles and marches forward to the circle. In a short while, the four are ready to begin.

“Go!” Chris states.

Eva easily sees Dawn is the weaker opponent, and rams into her, sending the small girl flying out. Izzy seems to have the same strategy, and easily chases Staci out of the ring.

Eva and Izzy turn at each other glaring in anger.

“Sorry Izzy, but you might as well give up now; we both now I can take you. ”

“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!” the wild child chuckles. “You misguided fool, you don’t know my true form, my real identity!”

“Whatever you-“

Izzy pulls out a ballpoint pen. “Behold! With this tool, I can not only do my taxes, but transform! Get prepared!”

The redhead spins in circles, making sound effects and throws glitter in the area around her.

Eva rolls her eyes and charges but stops dead in her tracks, as Izzy begins throwing off her clothes.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

“I’m transforming into a magical girl warrior!” Izzy replies.

She tosses aside her bra, landing it on Noah.

Izzy Prism Power…Makeup!” the nudist yells to the heavens.

“Think of the children!” Bridgette shouts, fainting.

Brick pounces on Tyler, exclaiming, “Shield your young, virgin eyes!”

“Aw come on!” the jock whines.

>“Huh, so she wasn’t lying about her birthmark shaped like the Pope,” Noah comments nonchalantly.

Anne Maria scoffs and stands up.

“Those aren’t real. These are-“

Trent pulls her down into her seat. “Please don’t.”

“What are you doing,” Chris whispers to the cameraman. “Keep the focus on Izzy.”

Izzy runs out of glitter and spins around one last time, striking a pose. “I am Izzy, the champion of justice! In the name of the moon I shall punish you!”

She points to Eva.

“Izzy, I swear to god if you-“

The redhead lets out a cry and pounces forward, landing and swinging her whole self on Eva’s head.

“GET OFF!”

The maniac bites Eva’s neck, causing the muscle women to scream in pain and tumble backwards. Izzy flips off of Izzy’s back and kicks her head, sending her just far enough back to put Eva’s foot outside of the ring.

“And in a spectacular show of feats, Izzy scores a point for the Nematodes,” Chris announces.

Izzy: And once again, the day is saved thanks to Sailor Izzy. Hopefully, my special someone was watching my heroic deeds. (Sighs) It’s hard to be a magical girl and have a love life, I tell yah.

“And with that we have our final round,” Chris announces. “For the Nematodes, Tyler and Brick while Blaineley and Anne Maria compete for the Tapeworms.”

As Blaineley approaches the circle, Anne Maria shoves her out of the way.

“Move it old bag!”

“Old?” the diva questions. “I’m not old! I’m a young starlet!”

“Please,” Anne Maria laughs. “You’re over thirty five at best. Don’t you realize that’s why you’re alone.”

Blaineley scoffs. “Like I’d be taking romantic advice from a faked tanned leprechaun. The only guy who ever loved you was a fake personality in some guy’s head. And he left you for a cardboard cutout.”

The two clashing prima donnas continue arguing inside the circle. Tyler and Brick look at the two; look at each other and nod.

“You’re just jealous of my hot bod compared to your wrinkly one!” Anne Maria shouts.

“And…go!”

“Your pickle shaped body?” Blaineley laughs. “I mean, you are what you eat. And you must eat a lot.”

Tyler and Brick charge forward, swords swinging. The two girls move apart and stick out their foots, tripping the two boys and causing them to fall out of the circle. They don’t even stop arguing.

“And with that the Nematodes score a point!” Chris announces. “Which means it’s time for our next challenge.”

A little bit later, the two teams are shown standing outside the forest.

Chris clears his throat. “And now for the ‘Mon genre’. Similar to the mecha challenge, this challenge will require two members from each team to go together into the forest and capture a creature. Then before we meet the giant robots, the two creatures will fight each other!”

Dawn gasps. “That’s horrible. Nature isn’t a toy for us to…”

“What’s that?” Chris interrupts. “You wanna get off your soapbox and volunteer for your team Dawn. Why sure, try not to let everyone down. Since your team is short two members, two people will have to go again. So you and Justin will go for the Nematodes, while our resident monsters, Dakota and Ezekiel will go for the Tapeworms.”

Dakota glares and opens her mouth to speak, but Chris blasts an air horn, and the two pairs head off in the forest. “Meet us back here in thirty with a critter!”

A little later, Dakota and Ezekiel are alone in the forest, which is littered with garbage.

“Yo Dakota,” Ezekiel states. “I think I can build a trap out of this here trash. I use to catch animals like that back in the prairie. Help me collect them.”

Dakota starts picking up trash. “I can’t believe Chris…saying that. It’s his fault I became mutated, and it took tons of treatment just to return to normal. …And I’m still viewed as a freak…And no one knows what that’s like.”

“…I know…”

Dakota turns to the homeschool boy.“Oh…oh yeah, I guess you do; to be the butt of one of Chris’ awful jokes. More than I do. …How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“…Deal with it; with being a freak, the laughing stock of the world. Knowing millions of people watched you transform into something you don’t even recognize or was even your fault. How do you deal with that?”

“One day at a time,” the homeschool boy replies. “I’m thankful for the family that’d care to help me get better.”

Dakota ponders. “I guess…I guess I have my dad to thank for this. And even when I was a mutant, Sam loved me and still loves me. I don’t know if I even told him thank you…”

“I’m just trying not to like too much into the past,” Ezkiel replies. “I’m moving on with my life.”

“…Then why are you here?”

“Because after all of that…I still wanna prove I can do it. Prove I can be a winner of this show. And then rub it in Chris’ face.”

Dakota laughs. “I guess I’m going to go for the same thing. If I don’t win, I hope you do. Stuff to Chris.”

“Likewise,” Zeke states. “But first, we have to win this challenge or we won’t make much further in the game.”

Dakota nods, renewed with drive, and gets to work.

Meanwhile, Dawn and Justin walk around aimlessly.

“So…you gonna summon your animal friends to help yet or what?”

The moon child sighs. “I told you, I don’t believe in abusing animals like that. They’re my friends.”

“Fine,” the model sighs. “You have no idea how that makes me feel.”

“You aren’t as hurt as you are letting on,” Dawn states, sitting down to meditate. “And you’re hungry.”

Before Justin can ask, Dawn replies, “I can sense it in your aura; it tells me a lot about you.”

Justin rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, like what?”

“Many sad things. Your aura is vomit green, a very unfortunate color. You’re upset at a lot of things; being a test tube baby you never had a father and feel you haven’t had a masculine influence in your life. You’re angered at how you were voted off on Island, betrayed by your teammates for no good reason.”

“Wow,” Justin replies. “That’s…that’s kind of a lot to unload at once.”

“That’s not all,” Dawn says. “I detect some sort of romantic feelings in you. Someone you only saw as a pawn hasn’t devoted all our attention to you now, and it’s caused jealously. And that jealousy is causing you to fall for them.”

“Okay, now that’s just crap,” Justin replies. “If you aren’t going to summon an animal with your voodoo powers, than I’m leaving.”

Dawn: I do feel bad for Justin. True he is selfish, but he’s still a person. And he doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings, like so many people. I hope for his sake he can sort them out.

Meanwhile, Katie and Cody are working on their robot. They peer over at Geoff and B, who are making a lot of noise.

“Do you think we can beat them?” Katie asks.

Cody shrugs. “I’ve experimented with robotics before, but B might be more better suited for it.”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“So Katie, I’m positive Justin had a hand in eliminating Sadie.”

Katie stares down at the ground. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, I propose we make an alliance to eliminate Justin.”

“An alliance?” Katie asks.

Cody nods. “We might not be able to target Justin yet, but we plan to get him back foe what’s he done.”

“Okay,” Katie says giddily. “That’s such a sweet thing to do Cody.”

“Of course,” Cody replies.

Cody: By eliminating Justin, all have a much better chance with the chicks. And by helping Katie I might win her affections.

Later, Dakota and Ezekiel pull along a sack, where a large beast rumbles inside.

“What do you think our trap caught?” Dakota asks. “Maybe the Sasquatch?”

“I hope eh,” Ezekiel replies.

“It looks like the Nematodes caught something,” Chris observes. “Nematodes?”

Dawn steps forward. “W-“

Tweet, tweet.”

Suddenly, the baby bird Dawn was nursing earlier floats to her.

“Oh no little one,” Dawn states. “Please don’t-“

Chris laughs. “Well the Nematodes have an animal. Release your beast Tapeworms.”

Dakota and Ezekiel open the sack, and stumbling out comes…Chef Hatchet.

“What the hell?” the chef asks.

Chris bursts into a laughing fit. “I’ll accept it. This won’t last long.”

Three minutes later, Chef falls in a pool of his own blood, crying like a little bitch.


Tweet, tweet!

The baby bird dashes off.

“Be careful!” Dawn shouts, waving goodbye.

Chris rushes forward to Chef. “Chef? Chef? Speak to me Chef!”

“…Chris…”

“Chef, it’s okay you’re gonna pull through Chef…”

“Chris…I have to ask you something…”

“Anything buddy, I’ll answer any question you ask me.”

“…Do we…do we have an automatic alliance?”

“…What?” the host asks.

“Well you have an automatic alliance if you…you know, and we did-“

Chris springs up. “It looks like Chef will be fine. More importantly, the Nematodes win the challenge! It’s all tied now, so it comes down to the last event…”

Soon, everyone meets back in the warehouse. B, Geoff, Cody and Katie all stand by their creations, each hidden under a cloth.

“Nematodes show us what you got!”

Cody and Katie pull away the tarp, revealing a dinosaur with more than a passing resemblance to Chris.

“It’s beautiful,” the host replies, wiping away a tear. “Alright Tapeworms, impress me.”

Geoff and B pull away their tarp to reveal…a giant tapeworm.

“You built a giant worm!” Anne Maria shouts.

B presses a button and the giant worm transforms into a giant fighting robot.

“That’s more like it baby!” Anne Maria cheers.

“So who wins?” Trent asks.

“The challenge wasn’t to see who could build a better robot,” Chris replies. “You had to build a robot, and now we’re gonna test them and see them fight! Winner wins the challenge for their team!”

“Easy!” Katie cheers. “Show them our stuff Cody!”

The two robots begin fighting. The Tapeworms easily start whaling on Cody’s robot.

“Fight back!” Justin yells.

“I’m trying,” Cody replies. “We didn’t think we’d be fighting with it.”

“You didn’t think you’d be fighting in the challenge themed around the fighting robot genre?” Bridgette asks.

Cody gulps. “Well…”

His hands, sweaty, drop the controls for the robot. They crash on the ground and break. Chriszilla begins short-circuiting, firing sparks until…

KABOOM!

It explodes, destroying both robots, the surrounding area and sending the cast and interns flying.

“One of my several empty warehouses!” Chris yells.

“What about the interns caught in the blast?” Katie asks, standing up.

“What about them?”

The contestants dust themselves off, coughing and sore.

“Well since they both technically blew up,” the host states. “We’ll have to have another tiebreaker.”

Everyone that isn’t coughing groans.

“What do you suggest?” Blaineley asks.

Chris wasn’t sure what to do and thought for a second. And he got an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful, awful idea.

“There are a few more genres from Japan,” the host states. “But we need an easy one, for a quick challenge. To avoid claims of sexism because of Izzy’s…display, it only seems fitting that the males give some fan service. So the tiebreaker will be a homage to…The Boy’s Love Genre.”

“Please tell me that doesn’t mean what I think it does,” Noah states.

“Please tell me it does mean I think what it does,” Izzy cheers.

“Two male members from the same team will have to kiss,” Chris explains. “Best, most passionate kiss wins it for their team. And this time, you can pick who participates.”

“Justin and Cody,” Izzy states.

"WHAT?

“Yeah, WHAT?”

“Justin’s got magic hot powers and Cody is loved by female fans,” the red hed explains. “It should get us a lot of points.”

“Wow Izzy,” Tyler states. “That actually makes a lot of sense.”

“You’re just saying that so you don’t have to kiss anyone!” Cody states.

“Fine,” Justin states.

“What?” Cody asks.

Before he can reply, Justin picks the geek in his arms, and plants a kiss on his lips while Cody just stares wide eyed like a dead fish. Justin pulls Cody away, and just when Cody thinks it’s safe to breath, Justin throws off his own shirt initiates a much more passionate kiss.

Cody: (Shivers) This is why I can’t get a girlfriend.

Justin: Ugh…I didn’t want to kiss that loser, but I did do awful during the Samurai challenge, but by willing doing a task like this, I look good in front of my team. Which means if we’re up for elimination, I’m safe. Not to mention Katie will be super jealous I kissed someone else…not that I like Katie or anything.

Chris turns to the Nematodes. “Well?”

“Well what?” Geoff asks.

“Geoff, you’re an idiot,” Blaineley states. “Anyway, you and Trent should kiss. Shirtless; it’ll help sell it.”

“Why us?” Trent asks panicky.

“You’re the most muscular of the guys on the team,” the diva replies. “Plus, I don’t like either of you so I can enjoy watching you suffer.”

Eva growls. “JUST WIN THIS!”

Geoff and Trent gulp and turn to face each other. They both awkwardly take off their shirts. They get close to each other, and awkwardly lean in for a small kiss on the lips.

Eva rolls her eyes, stomps forward and mashes their faces together, leading to a French kiss. She throws the two to the ground. “You’re welcome.”

Eva: I had to have all of Izzy on me. They can deal with it.”

Chris shivers. “I was hoping this would be nice, but it took a very creepy turn. But if we edit out Eva, I think the Japanese dubbers can make better work of the footage. So, the Nematodes win!”

The Nematodes cheer, except for Geoff and Trent, who heave in a trashcan.

Bridgette: If we keep doing this bad, we might as well become Team Victory again. I’d love to vote off Justin, but the others aren’t having it. I guess we’ll find out who goes tonight…

The Nematodes are shown at the elimination ceremony.

“So ,” Chris asks. “How does it feel to suck so much?”

Tyler shrugs. “Not as bad as think you it would.”

“And with that it’s time to vote,” Chris states.

After the contestants all vote on their machines, Chef steps out dressed like a geisha with seven Glided Chris statues. Chris puts on giant librarian glasses and begins reading from a notecard.

“Dawn you get a Glided Chris.”

Dawn: I was unsure who to vote out honestly, and it came down to two choices…so I flipped a coin and left it up to fate. …I hope it made the right choice.

“Brick, Tyler, you each get a Glided Chris.”

Brick: Tyler and I both agreed on who to vote off for the best of the team. …And because we didn’t wanna go yet. Tyler has the merits of a good solider I think. And good fashion sense.

“Bridgette, you’re safe, as is Katie.”

Bridgette: This time, I’m voting for Izzy who should’ve gone the last time.

Katie: Cody doesn’t think enough people will target Justin just yet, so to save our skins we have to vote Izzy. Sorry Izzy…even though I hardly know you.

“And…Justin you receive a Glided Chris.”

Justin beams as he receives the Glided Chris.

Izzy and Cody look over at each other. They both nod respectively to the other.

Cody: Something tells me Justin is targeting me. If he thinks he can get rid of me that easily, he’s about as dumb as he is a good kisser. …What I mean, is that I’m voting Izzy. Then Justin.

Izzy: Sorry Cody, it’s either you or me so you’ve got my vote. …I have unfinished business.

“And the final Glided Chris goes to…

Izzy. Sorry Cody…now hit the bricks, I’m done with you.”

Cody sighs and walks down the Red Carpet of Shame.

Justin: Cody was obviously getting close to Katie…and not that I’m jealous, but he could be plotting to vote me out. So in response, I convinced most everyone to vote for Cody. Since he lost the last portion of the challenge it wasn’t hard; that part always sticks in people’s minds. Who’s the ‘fail villain’ again? Not me!

Chris and Chef are shown alone on stage.

“And another loser loses,” Chris narrates. “Shocking, I know. Will the Nematodes suck less? Who are certain contestants crushing on? And is Justin a ‘fail villian’? Find out next time on Total Drama…”

"So Chris are we an automatic alliance or now?” Chef interrupts. “Cause I mean back in your private trailer, we did-“

“-NOT NOW!”

…Later at night, Izzy and Bridgette are shown talking outside of the back of the Crafts and Services tent.

“And so he was like ‘no’,” Izzy states. “But then we were like ‘you are’, and he was all ‘uh uh!’ but then I snapped my fingers and yelled ‘uh huh!’ And he realized he kind of was. So… long story short, that’s why I ended up converting to-“

“Welcome,” Katie greets. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I called you all here.”

“I was told there would be free snacks,” Bridgette states.

Katie tosses her a graham cracker. “I called you all here because we share a common enemy; Justin. He has manipulated Bridgette, he has used me often, and Izzy; he’s your ex and caused your elimination in Action. I say we form an alliance and when we can, we eliminate Justin.”

“I’m game,” Izzy replies.

Bridgette nods. “Sounds good but one question…how do we successfully eliminate Justin?”

“…IDK, I didn’t think I’d actually get this far,” Katie admits. “But, we’ll find a way…"

Elimination Table

 
# Contestant 1 2 3 4
TBA Anne Maria* IN SAFE WIN WIN
TBA B IN LOW* WIN WIN
TBA Blaineley IN LOW WIN WIN
TBA Brick IN WIN SAFE SAFE
TBA Bridgette IN WIN SAFE SAFE
TBA Dakota IN SAFE WIN WIN
TBA Dawn IN WIN SAFE SAFE
TBA Eva IN SAFE WIN WIN
TBA Ezekiel IN SAFE WIN WIN
TBA Geoff IN SAFE WIN WIN
TBA Izzy IN WIN LOW LOW
TBA Justin IN WIN SAFE SAFE
TBA Katie IN WIN SAFE SAFE
TBA Noah IN SAFE WIN WIN
TBA Staci IN SAFE WIN WIN
TBA Trent IN SAFE WIN WIN
TBA Tyler IN WIN SAFE SAFE
18 Cody IN WIN SAFE OUT
19 Sadie* IN WIN OUT
20 DJ IN QUIT*

Key

     Killer Nematodes: Was on the Killer Nematodes

     Screaming Tapeworms: Was on the Screaming Tapeworms

     WIN: Was on the winning team or won immunity during the merge

     SAFE: This person wasn't on the winning team or didn't win immunity but received a Glided Chris.

     LOW: This person was in the bottom two.

     OUT: This person was voted off and eliminated.

     QUIT: This person voluntarily left the game.

     LOW: This person would've been eliminated, but was spared for some reason.

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