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This story is rated PG.
There may be some content not for younger kids. However, there is nothing here they wouldn't say on the Total Drama series.

Gildedchris

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Gildedchris


SG
Chris McLean takes eighteen teens to Paradise Beach and makes them compete in beach-related challenges. Who will win? Who will lose? Find out on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!

Contestants

Aquamara
Ariana
Darceline
Drake
Evi
Franz
Janina
Jena
Kamron
Katt
Lana
Luther
Lynetta
"Magic"
N
Perci
Redd
Rosi

Chapters

Chapter 1- Is This Paradise Beach?!

Chris McLean sat in a lounge chair, a coconut drink in his right hand, asleep.

"Chris?" A cameraman called. "We're rolling."

Chris woke up and threw the drink into the camera. "Leave Chris alone!"

The camera went to static. It came back on to show Chris in a large beach house. "Sunny Paradise Beach!" He began. "A luxurious, beautiful, relaxing, chlorinated artifical mineral water filled beach." Chris chuckled. "Anyway, we've gathered eighteen new contestants to compete in intense beach-related challenges. Every episode, one contestant will be voted out, never to return. The winner will recieve one million dollars! This is Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

About an hour later, a bus pulled up outside the beach house. The first contestant stepped off and into the beach house, a purple-haired girl with clothes to match.

"This is Janina." Chris introduced. "She's not a big talker."

Janina nodded silently and looked down.

A blonde girl stepped off the bus. She walked up to Janina and laughed. "Good morning, freakshow."

Janina looked down sadly.

"This is Jena." Chris announced nervously. "She just looooves to gossip."

"Good morning, McLean." Jena greeted. "How are your..."

"Don't say it!" Chris pleaded.

Jena whispered something into Janina's ear. Janina's eyes widened as she stared at Chris, worriedly.

Chris tugged on his shirt collar and failed to realize that the third contestant had arrived. A blonde boy in blue.

"Well?" The boy demanded. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Oh, yeah." Chris remembered. "This is..."

The boy pushed him down. "I'm Perci." He introduced. "You don't get in my path of winning, we won't have any problem."

Perci spat on the two contestants.

The next contestant arrived, a black-haired boy with normal-looking clothes stepped out. "Bonjour." He greeted. "I am Franz." He shook the hands of Jena and Janina, but was kicked in the crotch by Perci. "Ooooooh!" Franz fell to the ground.


Chris stood up, at last. "That was painful."

The next two contestants came up. The two looked similar, but one was blonde and the other had black hair. "Hi, I'm Darceline!" The blonde one said. She pointed to her sister. "This is Lana."

Lana frowned and waved.

The next contestant came out, a beautiful girl with brown hair and a top and skirt. "Hi! I'm Katt."

Chris smiled. "What a beautiful teen."

The next contestant got off and bumped into Katt. "Oh, sorry." He apoligized. "I'm Evi."

Katt blushed and smiled. "You're cute." Katt giggled.

The next contestant got off. A scrwny blonde boy with pink clothes. "Alakazam!" He chanted. The contestants groaned, except for Darceline, who gave a half-frown. "Jerks. I'll slam you into the ground with this magic dust!" He sprinkled mist on Chris's eyes.

"This is 'Magic.'" Chris announced. "Who will NEVER sprinkle mist on me again."

"Magic" frowned.

A blonde boy in a track suit stepped off. "Yo! Prepare to lose!" The boy flexed his muscles, causing the girls to nearly throw up.

"This is Luther." Chris introduced.

Luther smiled as he walked over to Katt. "Hey there, Delilah."

Katt pushed Luther onto the floor. "Get a life, you dork!"

Chris laughed as the next contestant arrived.

A girl with black hair and a preppy outfit. "I'm Lynetta. Enjoy this show will you can, one of us will surely be voted off soon."

Perci frowned and gave a rude hand signal.

Lynetta rolled her eyes and was pushed down by contestant number twelve.

A blue-haired girl with clothes to match stepped off.

"This is Aquamara." Chris announced. "She likes water."

Aquamara nodded. She ran up to the fountain in the center of the room and jumped right in. "Woohoo!" She cheered.

A few contestants laughed.

A black girl with fashionable clothing arrived. "Hey, there! I'm Ariana. My fashion sense is KILLER."

Following Ariana's brief intro, the fourteenth contestant arrived.

A boy with a red mohawk and a red shirt waved to the contestants. "Hey, I'm Drake."

"Yawn." Chris complained. "Hurry up, number fifteen!"

The fifteenth contestant took his cue. A brown-haired boy with a hoodie. "Hey there, ladies! I'm Kamron." Kamron walked up to Katt. "Hey there, hot stuff."

Katt sighed and looked away. "Hey." She put on a disappointed face.

Kamron face-palmed.

An overweight, red-haired boy stepped out. Or at least, tried to. He got stuck in the bus doorway. "Okay, come on. Let's go here."

"This is N." Chris announced.

N fell out and face-planted onto the ground.

The next contestant stepped onto N. He had literally red hair and clothes to match. "I'm Redd. I guess you could say I have a thing for fire." Redd walked up to the fireplace and stared into it. He pulled some coal from his pocket and threw it in.

Aquamara looked at him and frowned. Redd did the same.

A brown-haired girl with a top and skirt came off. "Hey, guys! I'm Rosi!" She shook hands with Chris and each of the contestants. "Woo!"

N was still on the ground. He groaned and got up. "Is this real life?" He asked.

"Well, now that we're all here, we can begin the game!" Chris declared. "Teams and accomedations will be decided tomorrow. For tonight, you will all sleep in this very beach house!"

The contestants cheered.

Chris turned to the camera. "Looks like we're ready for tomorrow." He ensured. "Tune in next time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 2- The Astounding Race

Chris popped up from what looked like the floor. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," He began. "Our eighteen contestants arrived and found where they will be competing. Some were interesting. Others were boring. And others were... complete failures."

N looked down sadly.

"Well," Chris stated. "See you tomorrow." Chris walked out the door.

The contestants were alone for about two seconds before chaos broke out.

Darceline ran up to Lana. "Lana's my roommate!" She claimed.

The twins went down a hallway to their bedroom.

Perci looked over his fellow compeititors and decided to room alone. He pushed N to the ground and walked to his room.

Katt stepped on N by accident. "Oops! Sorry, Hilbert." She apoligized.

"Wow." N sighed. "Most people aren't that close."

Katt stared at N worriedly.

Evi walked up to Katt. "Roommates?" He asked. Katt nodded and the two began to walk off when Kamron bolted up to them.

"Hey, there." Kamron greeted. "Can I join in?"

Katt and Evi stared at the desperate teen with pity.

"I don't think there's enough room." Katt lied.

Kamron frowned and walked away. "If I can't get in, then no one can." He told himself.

Janina walked up to Katt and Evi shyly. "Do you know where the bathroom is?" She asked timidly.

Katt and Evi smiled. "Of course you can room with us!" Evi assured.

The two took a confused Janina into their room.

Kamron looked on, his eye twitching.

Ariana walked up to Aquamara, who was still in the fountain. "Wanna room?"

Aquamara shook her head and splashed water onto Ariana.

Ariana screamed at the sight of the stain on her shirt. "Help me! I need a stain stiiiiiiiiiick!"

Aquamara frowned sadly.

Redd laughed at Ariana's watery mishap.

Aquamara smirked and splashed water onto Redd's precious fire.

Redd grimaced. "What is your problem?" He demanded.

The other contestants mumbled collectively and went to bed.

Later that night, Lynetta was lying in her bed, with Franz, her roommate, using a computer in their cabin to look up recipes. Lynetta sighed angrily. "You've already found three ways to prepare Chicken Parmesan!" She yelled.

"Yes," Franz admitted. "But I have not found anything on how to properly season it."

"I have an idea!" Lynetta exclaimed and jumped out of bed. "I'll whip up some of my world-famous cookies. Whoever's is is better gets the computer 24/7."


Franz smirked. "You're on!"

The pair ran into the kitchen and began to throw things into bowls.

Luther laid on the ground as Rosi told him a ludicrus story.


"And then the meatball licked my brother's face! So he was like, 'Dude, why can't you be an ice cream cone?!' And then I came in and ate the ENTIRE meatball. True story." Rosi told.

Luther laughed and then got serious. "But, let's hear about me now. I was in this HUGE game y'know?"

Rosi fell asleep after that sentence.

Luther gritted his teeth.

Jena was shown to be watching from the window. She took notes on Rosi's insanity.

The next morning, the contestants woke to Chris's screaming.

"Get your lazy butts to the beach!" He ordered.

The eighteen contestants grumbled but complied.

When all the contestants were lined up on the beach, Chris announced how the teams would be decided.

Chris held up a hat. "If I draw your name out of this hat, you'll be assigned to Team 1." Chris explained.

"Janina."

Janina shyly wondered what other people would be assigned to the team.

"Evi."

Evi waved at Janina.

"Katt."

Katt nodded happily. "I knew the author would put us together. Thanks, SG!"

"Lynetta."

Lynetta groaned, tired from cooking all night.

"Drake."

Drake smiled.

"Rosi."

Rosi squealed and jumped over to the rest of her team.

"You guys are Team Female!" Chris deemed, noticing the amount of girls on the team. "The next six I draw will be Team 2."

"Luther."

Luther cheered stupidly.

"Ariana."

Ariana stared at the stain on her shirt sadly.

"N."

N nodded and went over Luther and Ariana.

"Perci."

Perci smirked and walked over to his team.

"Franz."

Franz walked over to Perci slowly and got kicked in the groin.

"Darceline."

Darceline smiled, but then realized that she was the last one picked. She looked over at Lana longingly.

"Those of you will be Team Perci." Chris announced.

Perci smiled.

"The rest of you: Kamron, Aquamara, Redd, Jena, 'Magic' and Lana, you are Team Beach!"

Darceline stared at Lana again.

"Today's challenge will be simple." Chris began. "All you have to do is plant team flags all over this beach." He handed the teams several flags. "Go!"

The three teams went out to plant flags.

Aquamara and Redd stood side by side, planting flags.

Redd sighed. "We do we have to be so close to a beach?"

Aquamara looked suspicious. "Why'd you even sign up for this show?"

Redd frowned and looked at the ground.

Darceline walked up to Lana. "Hey, Lana, I'm so sorry we're on different teams."

Lana barely looked up. "Meh."

Darceline's eyes filled with tears. "I knew you felt the same way, sissy!" Darceline hugged her emotionless sister.

After an hour, the contestants finished planting flags.

Chris looked out on the beach. "The winners are... Team Female!"

Team Female cheered. Katt and Evi hugged.

"Coming in a close second is Team Perci!"

Perci frowned at his second place finish.

Darceline frowned Lana's losing team.

"Team Beach, looks like you're facing elimination tonight."

The team frowned.

That night, Team Beach sat on strangely placed stumps on the beach. A bus was parked a few feet away. "Team Beach." Chris scolded. "You guys didn't do so well, today. If you do not receieve a seashell, you must board the bus and leave the beach FOREVER."

"The first seashell goes to Kamron."

Kamron smiled and grabbed his reward.

"Aquamara, Redd, you are also safe."

Aquamara and Redd frowned at each other.

"Jena."

Jena smirked.

Chris eyed the bottom two. "The final seashell goes to...















Lana." Lana emotionlessly got her seashell.

"Magic" stood up and yelped. "What did I do?! I helped with the challenge!"

The camera cut back to show "Magic" waving a magic wand at the flags. "Come on! Come on!"

"Time to go, bro." Chris ordered.

"Magic" began to cry and boarded the bus.

Chris shook his head, jokingly. "See you next time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 3- I've Got Seventeen Tickets To Paradise

The familiar head of Chris McLean peered in from the side. He was dressed as a cupcake, oddly enough. "It's... Super Happy Mega Fun Time Cupcake Dance Party: English Version!" He shouted and began to dance foolishly.

The cameraman began to laugh.

Chris's eyes widened. "Wait, this IS my audition tape for Super Happy Mega Fun Time Cupcake Dance Party, right?" He asked.

The cameraman laughed louder. "Chris, you know you can't audition for an anime, right? And that we're filming TD:PB?"

Chris blushed as bright as a tomato as he walked away slowly.

A teenager ran up to the camera. "Oh, yeah! MrD strikes again!" He ran up to the cameraman and high-fived him. "Daimion pwns!"

The cameraman chuckled. "It sure was a good idea to convince Chris to audition for some anime."

The camera cut to show a still-blushing Chris sitting on the beach. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," He began. "The contestants were split into three teams: Team Female, Team Perci, and Team Beach. Team Female won the challenge in the end and Team Beach voted out the wimp, 'Magic.' Who will be voted this time on Total Drama..."

Daimion chucked a brick at Chris, knocking him unconsious. "Oh, Chris." He snickered.

A weary-looking Team Beach had just completed the hike back from the elimination ceremony. It was still dark. Redd twisted the doorknob to the beach house when Chris pushed his hand aside.


"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Chris stopped. "Only invincible teams may sleep in the beach house."

"Then where do we sleep?!" Kamron demanded.

Chris pointed to a small shed about a hundred yards away.

Team Beach groaned and walked in the direction of the shed.

Inside the beach house, Katt and Evi were using a karoke machine to make fun of a stupid song.

"It's Friday, Friday, Friday, gotta get drunk on Friday!" Katt sang.

Evi smiled and guffawed.

Janina smiled at the two, while writing in a notebook.

Darceline woke up the next morning to see nothing but her empty room. "Oh, Lana." She sighed to herself. "If only you had won." She peered out the window to see Jena lying by the pool. "Wait... isn't she on Lana's team?" Darceline's eyes widened as she ran out the door.

Darceline burst out the back door and ran up to Jena. "How did you sneak in? Aren't you supposed to be in the shed?"

Jena chuckled, as if Darceline were a little child, telling a ridiculous lie. "Chris isn't around in the mornings. We can do whatever we want."

Darceline smirked, ran out the back door, and went over to the shed.

On the roof of the beach house, Rosi snickered mischeviously.

The camera zoomed out to show Drake lying on his bed, not knowing he was on the roof.

Rosi ran up to Drake's bed and gave it a push. "Fly, baby!" She yelled.

Drake woke up in midair and realized he was falling toward the pool. "Oh my gosh!" He screamed on the way down.

Drake slammed into the pool, splashing Jena all over.

Drake surfaced and climbed out of the pool, shuddering due to the extreme coldness of the pool. "That. Was. Terrifying."

Jena laughed. "Nice one, Rosi!" She called.

Aquamara came in through the door. "Can you do that to me, next?" She asked Rosi.

Darceline walked up to the cabin and got Lana.

"Where are you two going?" Redd asked. "First, Jena sneaks off, then Aquamara, and now Lana?"

Lana shrugged. "The rebellious life is exciting." She stated emotionlessly.

Darceline and Lana had just arrived at the beach house when Chris pulled up in the same bus that had dropped them off on Day 1. "Time to get in, kiddies!" He announced.

The seventeen contestants eventually got on the bus, and began to head away from the beach.

Lynetta stood up on the bus. "Time for head counts." She declared. "One, two, three, four, five... where's Rosi?"

In response, Rosi was shown outside the bus, against the window. "Woo-hoo!" She cheered.

Team Female gasped as Rosi climbed onto the top of the bus.

Rosi squealed in delight as she waved to innocent bystanders.

The bus traveled into a small but beautiful city.

The contestants gasped collectively in amazement.

"Welcome to Paradise!" Chris welcomed. "No, seriously, that's the city's name."

Chris stopped the bus and the contestants got off.

Rosi flipped off the roof.

Chris passed out banners to Lynetta, Perci, and Jena. "Your challenge is to
hang these banners all over the city. Whichever team hangs the most of their team banners, wins."

A pretty girl walked up to Chris. "Hey there, baby." Chris smiled and walked away with the girl.

Lynetta passed flags out to her team. "Go, start planting banners!"

The rest of the team ran to plant banners.

Team Perci got one banner each, except for Perci, who had five. "I can't trust too much respondibility on to you idiots." He explained.

N immediateky face-planted onto the ground. "Dang it." He sighed.

The rest of the team moved to another part of the city.

Team Beach also split up.

The seventeen teens began hanging banners.

Katt hung a banner at a restaurant. "Phew." She sighed. "I hope they let us advertise here."

Evi nodded and hung a banner on the restaurant's billboard across the street. "Our team is waaaaay more important than Pete's Pizza Palooza."

Lynetta and Perci were fighting over a spot on a parked car.

"Go away, you jerk!" Lynetta ordered.

"You think I'm too honorable to punch a girl?" Perci questioned.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't!" Lynetta retorted.

Perci punched Lynetta in the stomach, posted the banner, and ran away.

N was still lying on the floor as Darceline stepped over him.

"Sorry, Johnny." She apoligized.

N nodded.

Lana was sitting blankly on a bench as the rest of Team Beach hung banners.

Darceline walked up to her. "What's wrong, Lana?" She asked.

Lana shrugged and looked down at her banners.

Darceline bit her lip and thought about what she should do.

Aquamara posted a banner onto a docked boat. Redd placed one on a firework shooter, foolishly.

Aquamara laughed as the banner was shot into the air.

Redd rolled his eyes. "Oh, like your boat idea is SO much better." He scoffed.

The boat the banner was on sped away from the city.

The contestants gathered at the plaza when it began to get dark.

Chris was being pushed around by the girl who asked him out earlier.

"Go get a life, you washed-up reality show host!" She yelled and stormed away.

Chris regained his composure and announced the winner. "With the most banners, Team Beach wins!"

Team Beach cheered for their first win.

"Coming in second are our previous challenge winners, Team Female!" Chris added.

Team Female cheered, except for Lynetta who frowned at not being the best.

Team Perci grumbled. Perci screamed in absolute fury.

Team Perci filed in for the elimination ceremony.

Perci frowned and stared forward.

"I've got five seashells for the five of you who will be staying another night. The first one goes to... Ariana." Chris said.

Ariana smiled and caught her seashell.

"Luther, Franz, you two are safe."

Luther and Franz smiled and got their seashells.

"Perci, close call for you."

Perci rolled his eyes and caught his seashell.

Darceline and N stared down at the final seashell.

"N, you epically failed and didn't hang a single banner. Darceline, you're a little too distracted by your sister." Chris pointed out. "The final seashell goes to...
















...N."

N caught his seashell and smiled. "Wow, I didn't go first!" He cheered.

Darceline gasped. "But I was just helping Lana! How can you..." Darceline began to cry. She reluctantly boarded the bus.

"Wow." Chris sighed. "Didn't see that comin'. Tune in next time on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 4- Sun, Sand, And Surf

Chris was shown lying on a surfboard, floating leisurely near the coast. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," He began. "I took the contestants into Paradise for a banner-hanging challenge. After a buch of random banner-hanging scenes, Team Beach won and Team Perci became the second team to go to elimination. Sort of surprisingly, Darceline was eliminated. Who will it be this week on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!" A wave came by and swept Chris away. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!" He shrieked.

Team Beach was celebrating their win with Team Female.

Aquamara was doing a rain dance in front of a window as Redd watched her, laughing and playing with the fireplace.

Aquamara finished the dance and folded her arms at Redd. "Like your fireplace is so much better." She remarked.

Redd rolled his eyes. "Water drowns people." He retorted.

"Fire burns people." Aquamara argued.

Jena sat at a table eating a gourmet steak.

Lana watched her sister's elimination from a window. "Mm. Another one bites the dust." She said emotionlessly.

Jena ran up to Lana. "Lana! Any embarrassing secrets? Embarrassing name?"

Lana shrugged. "My full name is Lana Aurora Van Queen."

Jena nodded. "Favorite color?"

Lana shrugged again. "Colors are nothing but the useless art of life."

Jena sighed and shook her head.

Katt and Evi sat on the couch, talking about their lives at home.

"My parents are always asked out by random people when they're not together!" Katt told Evi.

Evi chuckled. "My parents always argue about the benefits of having me." He blushed.

Katt and Evi both laughed.

Kamron glared at Evi in envy.

The next morning, Team Perci sat in their shed sadly.

Perci stood up. "We need to win the next challenge!"

Luther rolled his eyes. "Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious."

Perci punched Luther in the stomach. "Anyone else wanna say something?"

Ariana raised her hand. "Can I go to the beach house for some clean clothes?"

Perci walked over to Ariana. "No!" He screamed and punched Ariana in the stomach.

Franz ran out. "Is the challenge ready yet?!" He pleaded.

The contestants eventually went over to the beach for the challenge.

Chris was shirtless and was wearing a seashell necklace. "Welcome to da beach, brothas! Sistas!"

Many of the contestants stared at Chris blankly.

Chris frowned and explained the challenge. "Today's challenge is a beach classic: Surfing!" Chris pointed to three pools behind him. "These are surf simulators. You have half an hour to prepare. Team Female, you will need to sit one of your players out."

Janina raised her hand and went back to the beach house.

Chris left the beach.

"Who knows how to surf?" Lynetta asked.

Evi raised his hand.

Lynetta face-palmed. "Looks like we need to teach Drake, Rosi, and Katt to surf."

Evi nodded. "I call Katt!"

Lynetta nodded and took Drake.

Katt was shown failing at surfing in every way imaginable.

"Keep trying, Katt!" Evi encouraged.

Lynetta came up to Evi. "I have an idea." She suggested. "Why don't we hope Chris excuses Katt from the challenge for being pathetic?"

Katt came out of the pool. "I have an idea too." She said to Lynetta. "Why don't you take this surfboard and shove it up your..."

"Woah! Woah! Woah!" Evi interrupted. "Let's stay calm."

Lynetta nodded triumphantly.

Team Beach put all their faith in Aquamara.

Redd stared at the water and shuddered.

Aquamara continued to surf professionally.

Jena and Kamron also surfed fairly well while Lana sat on the sand blankly.

Team Perci was practically a dictatorship.

"Okay, I'm going for the big scores!" Perci yelled.

The other four teammates nodded.

Chris came back for the rest of the challenge.

"First match-up!" Chris ordered. "Rosi, Jena, and N!"

The three contestants got on their boards and headed out to the waves.

A wave swept the contestants up. Rosi and Jena performed adequately while N failed after two seconds.

The wave settled down as Chris rated the contestants' perfomances. "Rosi gets a six, Jena also gets a six, and N gets a... 1 Out of ten, of course."

Perci twitched.

"Next, we have Lynetta, Kamron, and Luther!"

Luther smiled.

The three contestants rode the waves once more.

Lynetta did great, Kamron did adequate, and Luther excelled.

"Lynetta gets an eight, Kamron gets a five, and Luther gets a ten!" Chris anounced.

"Next match-up! Katt, Lana, and Franz!"

The three rode the waves.

Katt did poorly, Lana did adequately, and Franz did well.

"Katt gets a one, Lana gets a five, and Franz gets a seven."

"Next match-up: Evi, Aquamara, and Ariana!"

The three rode the waves.

Evi and Aquamara excelled, and Ariana did adequately.

"Evi and Aquamara get tens, and Ariana gets a six."

"Final match-up: Drake, Redd, and Perci." Chris announced.

The three rode the waves.

Drake did adequate, Redd refused to ride in the first place, and Perci's board broke when he swam out.

"Final scores!" Chris declared. "Drake gets a five, and Redd and Perci get zeroes by default. Team Female finishes with thirty, Team Beach with twenty-six, and Team Perci made twenty-four."

Perci scowled.

The two winning teams smiled and high-fived each other.

"Team Perci, I'll see you at elimination." Chris reminded.

Katt and Evi were talking in the beach house again.

Kamron sighed and shook his head.

There was a knocking at the door.

Kamron held his head down and answered the door.

Ariana was the one at the door.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could get my clothes?" She asked.

Kamron looked down. "Sure." He said sadly.

Ariana frowned. "What's wrong, Kamron?"

"Katt and Evi are wrong!" He answered. "They're the perfect couple. I have a huge crush on Katt, but she would never go out with me."

"Why wouldn't she? You're smart, funny, and cute!" Ariana blushed.

Kamron stared at Ariana. "You sure?"

Ariana nodded.

Kamron kissed Ariana passionately on the lips.

Ariana gasped.

Kamron smiled for his first relationship.

Team Perci was at the elimination ceremony.

"I have four seashells for the four of you who stay another day." Chris told. "The first one goes to Luther."

Luther got his seashell.

"This next one's for Franz."

Franz smiled and got his seashell.

"N, you are safe."

N gasped in disbelief and grabbed his seashell.

Perci and Ariana looked anxious.

"The final seashell goes to...











...Perci."

Ariana stood up, stunned. "But... I..." She stammered.

Ariana began to tear up and boarded the bus.

Perci looked on mischieviously.

Chris looked down. "Well, that was nice." He said sarcastically. "Tune in next time."

Chapter 5- Endurance: Paradise Beach

Chris was shown flying over Paradise Beach on a hanglider.

The cameraman could be heard screaming, supposedly on a hanglider as well.

"Phil." Chris scolded. "When are you going to get over your fear of heights?"

The cameraman, supposedly named Phil, started whimpering softly.

Chris face-palmed and began the recap. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach, we had a classic surfing compeition. After five trials, Team Female won the challenge and Team Perci was sent to elimination for the second time in a row. And just after she and Kamron hooked up, Ariana got sent home. Who will join 'Magic,' Darceline, and Ariana in the loser list? Find out right now on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Daimion came by on a hanglider and shot a rock at Chris. It made a hole in his hanglider.

Chris noticed the hole and began to descend quickly. He yelled death threats at Daimion as he hit the ground.

Daimion snickered and high-fived Phil.

Kamron looked out the window of the beach house, waiting for Ariana.

Katt and Evi looked at him contently.

Kamron's eyes lit up as he saw Team Perci heading for the shed.

His face dropped to a confused expression, as he counted the four remaining members. "Perci, Luther, Franz, N..." He observed.

Katt bit her lip and sighed, knowing what had happened.

The color drained out of Kamron's face. "B-but... w-why would they..." He stammered. He turned around to look at Katt and Evi.

Evi got up. "I think I know who can give us an answer." He sighed. He walked up to Jena disapprovingly.

Jena rolled her eyes. "I'm utterly flattered that you think I caused such an elimination." She stated. "Well, I did."

Kamron scowled and jumped at Jena. He punched her in the chest, getting no reaction.

Jena giggled. "How cute. That's how the game works, kid. You knock people out of the ring and then the last one standing gets a million bucks."

Kamron's eye twitched as he went to bed sadly.

"How did you even pull it off?" Evi asked.

A flashback was shown.

Jena ran up to Perci the night before.

"Perci, I have something you may want to see." Jena called evilly.

Perci raised one eyebrow and looked at Jena curiously.

Jena held up a camera and played a video of the scene with Ariana and Kamron.

Perci scowled and stared at Ariana angrily.

The camera cut back to the present.

Janina looked at Jena disapprovingly as she wrote something in a notebook.

A loud thump made her drop her notebook.

"Aw, man!" N cried in the distance. "Fell down again!"

Jena walked over and reached for the notebook, only to have it snatched away by Redd.

Redd smiled at the notebook's contents. "Nicely written, purple girl." He said to Janina. He cleared his throat and read the story in a valley girl accent. "'The Diary Of Jena, Chapter Five. Oh my grod, I, like, so totally pwned this loser chick last night. Like, she was kissin' her new BF, when I came in and videotaped 'em. So, like, the girl went home, crying. Oh my grod! I am so smart, and pretty, and popular, and cool, and, oh my grod, I have to go ruin more lives! Bye, ya loser!'" Redd laughed nasally to finish the chapter.

Jena stared at the notebook in disbelief. "I, like, so, totally do not talk like that, ya losers!" She yelled and went to bed.

Janina and Redd laughed and high-fived each other.

Aquamara sprayed Janina with water.

Janina shrieked and went to change.

Redd stared at Aquamara in sheer anger. "I finally get a friend, and you soak her?" He asked.

Meanwhile, Drake was finally getting his revenge on Rosi.

Drake walked up to Rosi and took out some circular candies. "Oh, Rosi." Drake started devastatedly. "I have so many candies, and no one to share them with!"

Rosi began to cry. "That's so sad..." She took the rest of the candies as Drake grinned.

Rosi smiled before falling unconsious to the floor.

Drake chuckled. "Oh, revenge is sweet." He snickered.

Team Perci was in their shed the next morning.

Perci had gone mad with winning. "We have to win!!!! If we lose one more time, we'll have half as many members as Team Female!"

Franz finally worked up the courage to stand up to Perci. "You know what?" He retorted.

Perci's eyes narrowed as he waited for what Franz "knew."

"That you have gone insane!" Franz yelled.

"Who says you haven't?!?!" Perci screamed.

"Allez au diable!" Franz remarked in French.

Perci scowled. "You're lucky I don't know French."

Franz smiled.

Luther chuckled. "I don't know French either, but I think you just said something insuting!" He laughed.

Perci ran up to Luther and threw him out the window.

Luther could be heard screaming on the ground.

Franz and N looked at Perci, terrified to the point of not speaking.

N belched loudly.

Perci scowled again and punched N in the gut, making him fall onto Franz.

The three teams gathered on the beach for the challenge.

Fifteen sticks were set standing up in the water.

"Today's challenge is going to be a test of endurance." Chris explained. "You all will have to stand with one foot on a stick. If you get too uncomfortable, just drop out. Last one standing earns their team invincibility and a season's supply of Chris McLean brand hair gel.

The contestants groaned.

The contestants swam out to the sticks and took spots.

Janina was as still as possible, keeping perfect balance.

Katt looked at Janina in disbelief. "Wow, Janina, you're really good at this." She complimented.

N fell into the water, his foot throbbing.

Perci rolled his eyes.

Drake jumped into the water. "I couldn't take one more second of that." He explained.

Katt lost her balance and fell into the water. "Aw, man!" She sighed.

Aquamara jumped into the water. "Oh, water, I just couldn't stay away!" She cried.

Redd rolled his eyes.

Kamron fell into the water after fifteen minutes.

Lynetta fell in after twenty minutes.

Evi fell in shortly after Lynetta.

"Thirty minute mark!" Chris called.

Lana fell in shortly after this announcement was made.

Franz fell in after the thirty-five minute mark.

Jena smiled. "Hey, Janina!" She called.

Janina became distracted and lost her balance.

Janina floated angrily in the water before shaking Jena's stick until she fell in.

Luther lost all feeling in his foot and fell in.

Only Rosi, Perci, and Redd remained now.

Rosi started switching feet frantically. "Hah-hah! Woo! This rocks!" She cheered.

Team Female cheered for Rosi loudly.

Rosi suddenly stopped and fell into the water, unconsious.

"What the?" Lynetta gasped.

Drake blushed. "I didn't think about the delayed effects..." He sighed.

"Team Perci and Team Beach both win!" Chris announced.

Perci yowled with happiness and jumped in.

Redd stood on the stick paralyzed, afraid to go into the water.

Team Female showed up to their first elimination ceremony.

"Team Female." Chris greeted. "It's your first time here. Five seashells I have for five team members. The first one goes to Rosi."

Rosi grabbed her seashell.

"Evi."

Evi grabbed his seashell.

"Katt."

Katt grabbed her seashell.

"Janina."

Janina grabbed her seashell.

Lynetta and Drake looked at one another, anxiously.

"The final seashell goes to...











...Lynetta."

Lynetta sighed in relief and grabbed the last seashell Chris had.

Drake looked up at his teammates. "I... understand." He sighed.

Drake walked over to the bus, disappointedly.

"That's all for today!" Chris closed. "Tune in next week for Total...Drama... Paraside Beach!"

Chapter 6- Paradise Beach Goes Hollywood

Chris was sitting in a dark bedroom, presumeably his, looking through a fashion magazine. The camera zooms in and it was Chris modeling in the magazine. Tears fell from Chris' eyes. "I miss those days..." He wept. "The days when I was...beautiful." Chris began to cry loudly. Phil and Daimion snickered behind the camera.

"When was that, the 1970s?" Daimion asked. He and Phil continued to laugh.

Chris pulled himself together and began the recap. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach, the endurance challenge tested our contestants' physical stamina and strength. Things heated up between Kamron and Jena, and things cooled down for Janina when Aquamara splashed cold water onto her." Chris guffawed loudly.

Phil and Daimion rolled their eyes.

Chris glared at his annoying crew. "Anywho, Team Perci overcame their losing streak and sent Team Female to elimination, where Drake got voted out for sabotaging Rosi, a fellow teammate. Who will be voted out this week on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach?"

Perci was sitting at a table, examining a handful of Chris McLean hair gel bottles he had gotten as a reward. He tossed them out the window. "Completely worthless." He mumbled.

Jena glared over at Perci and walked over. "Perci!" She cried. "How are you doing?" She smirked subtly.

Perci rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Jena?" He asked.

Jena's smile faded as she took out her notepad. "Full name, favorite food, and name a couple interests."

Perci sighed. "Well, I've got nothing she could use against me." He thought aloud to himself.

"Still here." Jena scoffed.

"Perci Tiffany Saint..." He named.

Jena burst into laughter. "A girly middle name and an ironic last name?" She cackled.

Perci scowled but continued. "Lobster, and my interests are beating random people up and making little kids give me money." Perci chuckled.

Jena closed her notepad. "I've heard enough." She walked away and went into the bathroom. She noticed a camera when she went in. "How did we not know there was one of these and why did we not notice sooner?" She mumbled. "Perci's a jerk, to put it in a PG manner." She said to the camera. "But from what I've deducted, he has no manipulating skill at all and is nothing but a cruel bully. With the nerve and strength, he can be easily disposed of at the merge."

Perci sat on the table, staring out at Luther and N, who are playing football outside.

"The game I've been playing involves no skill, strategy or manipulating at all." Perci stated in confessional. "Those three imbeciles on my team are way too stupid to figure it out, but Jena... she's different. If we get to the merge together, the others won't hesitate to vote me out. Time to play a more strategic game. Oh, and of any of you out there get a role in voting someone out and you vote me, I'll find you!" Perci cackled and stormed out of confessional.

N threw a football into the air. It flew about two yards before dropping to the ground.

Luther face-palmed. "You throw the ball with enough force to make it fly far!" He explained. "What's so hard about it?"

"I never understood force." N blushed. "I was never good in English."

Luther picked up the ball and held it up. "Maybe a demonstration will help your tiny brain understand." He threw the ball so far that it crashed threw the roof of the shed Team Female was in.

Luther's eyes widened. "Run!" He yelled.

N panicked and ran inside with Luther.

Lynetta caught the football that crashed through the roof. "What the?" She exclaimed. She ran outside and shook her fist in the air while yelling toward the beach house, "You rotten kids!"

Evi chuckled at Lynetta. "What are you, eighty?" He said jokingly.

The others burst into laughter.

Lynetta angrily threw the ball at Evi's groin.

Evi jumped out of the way in time. "It was just a joke." He assured Lynetta. "

"Yes, let's not be too irritable." Katt advised. "Especially not when we just lost the challenge."

Lynetta and Katt glared at each other.

Rosi's bed had soda cans littered around. Rosi was hopping about with glee. "Oh my gosh, like, why do we have to talk about football and old peeps and jokes and soda and candy and popcorn and rainbows and unicorns and computers..." She fell asleep on the floor, apparently from the sugar rush she had just had.

Lynetta sighed and face-palmed.

The contestants went over to the beach for the challenge the next day for the challenge and found several small movie sets scattered around.

Chris was wearing no shirt and a pair of swim trunks. "Many movies have taken place at a beach." He began. "Your challenge today is to use video cameras and scripts I wrote myself to make a short film."

He passed scripts out to the three teams.

"Have fun." He said and walked away.

Team Female looked over their script.

"A mystery about a rich, stupid woman who accidentally kills her husband, tells a detective, and then the woman kisses the detective's brother." Katt observed.

Lynetta handed her a blonde wig. "Good luck playing the lead." She cackled.

Rosi sprang up to Lynetta. "Ooh! Can I be the serial killer who doesn't really do anything?" She asked.

Lynetta handed her a mask.

Evi walked over. "So I'm the only male role, the detective?"

Lynetta nodded and turned to Janina.

Janina blushed when she found she would be playing the detective's assisstant, whose only line is a musical number.

Lynetta got behind the camera. "Ok, places people!" She cried. The team got into place.

Evi sat a desk, examining some papers. "It was a quiet, dark night." He narrated. "I was looking though some old records, when a hysterical young woman who looked she had a lot of money burst in."

Katt burst in in a blonde wig and dress. She spoke in a fake country accent. "Oh, private eye, I just had this terrible accident! This killa came in and killed mah husband."

Evi put the papers down and stared at Katt. "Well, that sounds a funky mess of funk funky funk...funky style." He burst out laughing. "Who says things like that?" He asked.

Lynetta ran up to Evi. "Just continue!" She demanded.

"Hey!" Katt interrupted, also now out of character. "Lay off him!"

Lynetta narrowed her eyes at Katt. "What relationship do you two have, anyway? You just lay around, hugging."

Katt and Evi stared at each other, deciding it was time to evaluate their relationship.

The team got into place.

Team Perci was being commanded into place by Perci.

"Okay, to pull off this so-called 'Starvation Games' thing work we need four elite fighters recovering from an accident that killed twenty other fighters!" He commanded.

The four of them pulled out fake weapons and got into place.

Luther began crying on the ground. "Why did those other twenty fighters die in that tsunami?" He sighed.

Franz, wearing a pirate outfit, went over to Luther. "Sometimes people die...and stuff."

Perci face-palmed and left the camera on a tripod. "Cut! We're making an adventure movie, not a comedy!" Get it right!" He punched Franz in the gut.

Team Beach was doing a cheap surfing movie, guessing from their cheap surfboard set and pathetic costumes. They were all standing around.

Kamron looked out at the actual sea and thought of Ariana.

Aquamara put her hand on his shoulder. "You'll see her again." She assured.

Kamron sighed and shook his head.

Redd rolled his eyes. "Just...try to stay strong for her." He advised.

Lana stared ahead. "So, do I act like I'm a surfer or whatever?" She asked.

The rest of the team shook their heads.

Chris came back shortly after to see the movies. He popped Team Female's tape into the player and it began.

Evi was shown at his desk with the papers again, this time doing the scene right.

"Who killed him, detective?" Katt's character asked.

Janina's character came out of nowhere. "I'll tell you who killed him..." She sang. "It was you! You! You! You ! You! Girl!"

Katt's charcter gasped and fell to the floor.

Rosi's character came in. "I knew it wasn't me!" She exclaimed.

The movie ended.

The contestants stared forward with wide eyes.

"Who wrote that thing anyway?" Lynetta wondered.

Chris began to sweat and tug on his shirt collar. "Urm...who knows?" He chuckled nervously. "The acting was good, anyway, so you guys get off with a good review."

Team Female cheered.

Chris played Team Perci's tape.

"'The Starvation Games,' the most brutal Games in Lanem!" N narrated.

Luther and Franz performed the scene shown earlier.

N fell to the ground. "Ow," He said dryly. "How will I ever survive?"

Perci came in and "killed" all the others, using special effects and editing. "I win!" He proclaimed.

The movie ended.

Perci scowled at the screen. "Stupid teammates..." He mumbled.

Chris began to laugh. "Epic fail, dudes." He laughed.

Chris played Team Beach's tape.

Team Beach was shown running around, Kamron crying, Aquamara comforting him, Redd stared at the sea in fear, Jena staying away from the team, and Lana trying to surf. This was shown for about two minutes.

Chris face-palmed. "Team Perci, Team Beach, since I can't figure out who sucked the most, I'm going to have Team Female decide."

Team Female cheered, clearly winning the challenge.

Team Beach and Team Perci walked away to let them discuss.

Kamron sat on the beach sadly.

Aquamara sat down with him. "Kamron..." She started. "Is this million worth being away from Ariana? Would you rather quit? No one would look down on you for being romantic."

Kamron looked over at the team, and got an approving smile hiding a devious smirk from Jena.

Chris called the losing teams back. "We've made our decision." He announced. "The winners are... Team Bea..."

"Wait!" Kamron interrupted. "I can't stay here." He confessed. "I'm sorry, but I have to be with Ariana."

Some of the female contestants clapped and sighed sadly.

Perci rolled his eyes.

Chris shook his head. "Your choice, dude. Million bucks on the line here."

Kamron shook his head.

The bus pulled up and Kamron boarded it quietly but happily. "I'm coming, Ariana." He said to himself.

The remaining contestants walked off.

"There's our first quitter!" Chris closed. "Tune in next week for Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 7- Paradise Wrestling Entertainment

Chris was shown staring at a computer screen in the middle of the night. "Email..." He mumbled. "When's Mom going to reply?"

Phil and Daimion snickered off-screen.

Chris stared at the camera. "Hey, viewers." He introduced nervously. "I was just..." He stammered. "Anyway, last time on Total Drama Paradise Beach, the contestants had to make movies from scripts some weird guy wrote..."

Daimion snickered. "That totally describes you."

Chris glared at the camera. "Team Female's acting got them the win, while Team Perci and Team Beach sucked about the same amount. Team Female voted for the win, but Kamron quit to be with Ariana before I could declare Team Beach's second place finish." Chris shook his head and made a clicking noise. "What will happen this week on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach?"

A beeping sound came from Chris' computer. He immediately looked at it. "New email? 'You're the most disgusting man I've ever met.'" He read. "'I can't believe I ever went out with you.' Oh, it's that girl I went on a date with a few days ago." He rolled his eyes and began to type.

Janina was happily writing in her notebook with Rosi skipping around her.

"I am in the story?" Rosi asked eagerly. "Huh? Huh? Am I?"

Janina chuckled and wrote more in the notebook.

Lynetta sat at a TV, flipping channels.

"Dustin Believer punched Suzannah Louisiana in the nose, today." The TV reported.

Lynetta chuckled. "I love it when two-bit stars get catty."

Perci and Franz were arguing at a dinner table.

"You completely screwed up the 'Starvation Games' with your acting!" Franz yelled. "I love that book, even the bit that Chris ripped off."

Perci rolled his eyes. "Don't you know how that book ends? Pato from Region 2 kills Natkiss and Keeta!"

Franz's eyes twitched. "No... Pato is tortured by mutant thingys and Natkiss puts him out of his misery. Then she gets out these berries and..."

"Just go and do something with your cake!" Perci interrupted rudely.

Franz picked up a cake that was on the table and walked away.

Lynetta laughed at the two. "Looks like your team's ready to fall apart." She was suddenly hit in the face by a tennis ball. "What the?"

N and Luther were outside, playing, or at least, trying to play, tennis.

"You missed that time." N beamed.

"Yeah." Luther confirmed. "Except it was out."

N fell onto the ground. "Dang it."

N stood up and got a ball in the crotch. "Dah!" He groaned and fell down again.

"Keep your tennis balls off my face!" Lynetta commanded.

Luther snickered and Lynetta's wording.

Katt and Evi were on a couch, discussing their relationship.

"Well...um..." Evi stuttered. "How did our relationship start, anyway?"

Katt shrugged. "When you got off the bus on the first day, I just thought you were really cute." She explained.

Evi nodded. "And you seemed pretty nice. And then, we just started hanging out together." He stared at the ground blankly.

Katt smiled. "I have an idea: How about we spend this whole day without interacting with each other and see how we feel at the end of the day?"

Evi nodded.

The two walked away from each other.

Team Beach sat around in the shed.

Jena looked generally bored and stared at her teammates, curiously.

Redd hid under the covers. "I'm not going out there, man." He said, referring to the ocean. "I can't take anymore ocean."

Aquamara went up to Redd. "Why did you sign up for this show, anyway?" She asked.

Redd blushed.

Lana sighed dryly. "Fear is nothing but an evil disease that eats away at the soul."

Redd hid deeper under the covers.

Jena shrugged, seeing no threat to herself.

The contestant met Chris on the beach for the challenge. A wrestling ring was nearby.

"One of the most crucial parts of the classic surf flick is the showdown between the surfer dude hero and the jerky villain over some Mary Sue." Chris explained. "It's usually surfing, but today, we're facing off in the villain's specialty: wrestling!"

Redd sighed in relief. "No water."

Aquamara frowned.

"Since Team Female has one extra member, one of you will have to sit out."

Katt flashed a smile at Evi and went over to sit on the bench by Chris.

"Each match will consist of one team member each. Whichever team has the most victories at the end of the challenge wins. The first match-up is Janina vs. Luther vs. Jena."

The contestants named got into the ring.

"Go!" Chris ordered.

Luther immediately charged up to Jena.

Jena rolled her eyes and held Luther back with one hand. She threw him out of the ring with ease.

Janina looked at Jena with a smile that meant respect.

Jena smiled back. "Nice sportsmanship." She complimented and charged at Janina. Janina dived out of the way.

Jena smirked and kicked Janina several times in the stomach, threw her up into the air, jumped into the air with her, grabbed her, and slammed her into the ground.

"Jena wins!" Chris announced.

Janina flashed the respectful smile as she climbed out of the ring. Jena did the same.

"Next match-up: Evi vs. Perci vs. Lana."

Team Beach face-palmed.

"Go!"

Evi kicked Perci in the shin.

Perci frowned and slammed Evi out of the ring.

Katt gasped.

Perci turned around to Lana, who simply looked up and climbed out of the ring.

"Point to Perci of Team Perci!"

Perci smiled.

"Next match-up: Rosi vs. Franz vs. Aquamara."

The three climbed into the ring.

Aquamara stared at the ring's interior. "So, there's no water at all?"

Rosi knocked Aquamara out of the ring and faced Franz.

Franz stood still. "I refuse to hurt a beautiful woman." He admitted.

Perci groaned.

Rosi pushed Franz out of the ring. "Yesh!!" She cheered.

"Rosi takes it for Team Female. This next match-up will decide the winners: Lynetta vs. N vs. Redd."

Team Perci groaned.

Lynetta got into the ring and climbed onto N's head. She kicked him in the face. "Revenge!" She shrieked. "Revenge!"

Redd sat in the corner and rubbed two sticks together until they light on fire.

Lynetta knocked N to the ground unconsious.

Redd got up and threw the flaming sticks at Lynetta.

Lynetta shrieked as the sticks hit her in the face and made a gash.

"Ohh..." Lynetta groaned on the ground.

"Point goes to Redd! Team Beach wins!"

Team Beach, except for Lana, cheered.

"So, are we going to have some sort of tiebreaker?" Perci asked.

Chris shook his head. "Team Female had more endurance during the challenge." He pointed to Katt. "Katt here didn't get knocked out of the ring or pinned down at all."

"She didn't compete!" Perci argued.

Chris shrugged.

Team Female cheered at their pathetic victory and walked away.

Perci went up to Luther and Franz. "We must vote N at the elimination ceremony." He ordered. "I hate to do it..."

"No, you don't." Luther corrected.

"...But it is for the team's best." Perci ignored.

Team Perci showed up for elimination.

"Team Perci...not a lot of teamwork going on here tonight." Chris scolded. "Perci and Franz are about to kill each other, and Luther is trying to make N not be a total fail."

N frowned.

"The first seashell goes to Franz."

Franz grabbed his seashell calmly.

"Luther, you are also safe."

Luther flashed a thumbs-up at N and grabbed his seashell.

"Perci, N... one of you has spent your last night at Paradise Beach. The final seashell goes to...

















...Perci."

Perci smirked and grabbed the final seashell.

N began to tear up. "I knew this would happen eventually." He admitted. "I'd like to thank Luther for trying to make me not be a fail." N fell onto the ground.

He stood up, got a high-five from Luther, and walked over to the bus.

The bus drove away without N on it.

"No!" N yelled. He fell onto the floor and knocked himself out.

Team Perci looked on with concerned expressions.

"He'll be okay," Chris assured. "Who else will get pwned next time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach?"

Chapter 8- The Taking of Chris McLean

Chris sat in a couch in front of a video game console. He held a large controller in his hands, mashing the buttons.

"Chris." Phil said from off-screen. "Stop getting yourself pwned by that guy in Europe and do the recap."

Chris looked up and pressed a button on the controller.

"Game Paused." The console informed in a robotic monotone.

"I almost had him last time..." Chris mumbled. "Anyway... last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach, the contestants competed in a ruthless series of wrestling matches. After many different forms of attack and epic failures, Team beach came out on top. Team Female finished in second due to Katt's high endurance, and Perci convinced his team to vote N instead of him. What will happen this time on Total..."

Chris was interrupted by the sound of glass shattering.

"What was that?" He pondered.

The sound repeated, along with the sound of rustling and things being knocked down.

Chris' eyes widened as he hid under the couch.

A soft snarl was heard.

Heavy footsteps thumped on the tile floor.

They got louder, presumably coming closer.

Chris had barely enough time to look up before he was bagged by a shadowy figure.

Chris screamed, muffled by the bag he was in.

The shadowy figure punched him in the jaw and knocked him unconsious.
Chris Corpse

Chris lies unconsious after the woman's attack.

"I will have my revenge..." The figure mumbled. A close-up revealed her face. The woman who had dated Chris five days earlier.

Phil backed away and picked up his cell phone. He dialed 911 before being knocked unconsious by the woman.

Katt and Evi were sitting on the beach, discussing the results of their experiment.

"I felt kind of worried when Perci knocked you out of the ring." Katt said, and put her hand on Evi's lap.

Evi nodded. "And I missed you, too. Even though we've only known each other for about a week, I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with you."

Katt giggled. "Mm-hmm."

Lynetta came up to them in her swimsuit.

"You two have known each other for eight days." She reminded. "Nice job getting by after your relationship fails."

Katt threw a handful of sand into Lynetta's eyes.

Lynetta ran back into the water, eyes burning.

Jena was in the beach house, sitting next to a quiet Janina.

"So, Janina." She asked. "Do you have any allergies or favorite foods?"

Janina shook her head quickly. She pulled a notebook and quickly wrote in it.

Jena sighed. "You're worse than Lana, you know that?"

Janina nodded, obviously not caring.

Jena went over to Rosi.

"Rosi!" She called. "Let's get right down to business. Do you have any secrets?"

Rosi shook her head. She jumped into Redd's arms. "Spin me, spanish-speaking teletubby!" She ordered.

Redd threw Rosi onto the floor.

Jena frowned. "How boring are these people?" She asked in confessional. "No secrets, and Janina wouldn't even tell me her favorite foods. Well, at least there's no threat."

Aquamara was sitting at a table, eating extremely moist food.

"Moist carrot cake." She chuckled. "Moist chocolate cake. Moist...water."

Lana sat across from her, sifting through a stack of photos of her and Darceline. She gave the tiniest smile.

Aquamara's eyes widened at Lana's expression.

Jena ran over and caught a glimpse of Lana's face before she concealed it under her usual expression.

Lana looked up. "What?" She asked dryly.

Jena wrote down notes fiercely in her notepad.

The Team Perci trio sat in their shed, obviously tired of each other.

"We have lost half our members." Perci reminded. "If we could put forward just a little more effort..." His voice trailed off, obviously trying to contain sheer fury.

Franz sighed. "I was treated better by that snooty waitress at Le Pamplemousse than I'm being treated by you."

Perci muttered something dirty under his breath.

Luther was listening to an MP3 player.

"And all you do is listen to your myPod..." Perci mumbled.

Luther barely looked up. "It helps keep me strong while working out." He picked up a dumbbell and started to lift it up and down slowly while singing, "Baby, you're an inferno... go and let your sparks burst..."

"Kary Gerry?" Franz asked.

Luther nodded.

Team Female and Team Beach walked out of the beach house to find three police officers examining the exterior of the beach house.

Team Perci came over to see what was happening.

"What's going on here?" Evi asked one of the policemen.

The tallest one sighed and explained, "We recieved a distress call from a crew member. He was barely consious, but was able to tell us that Chris McLean has been kidnapped by a crazed woman.

Everyone stared at Rosi.

"No, not her." The policeman chuckled.

"We'll take care of things, adolescents." The shortest one assured.

The three climbed into individual police cars and drove away.

Jena's eyes drifted to the bus that is used for transportation. "Should we?" She asked.

The contestants mumbled collectively.

"It's not like we'll get another chance to hunt down a criminal in our teenage years." Redd mumbled.

"Dose anyone know how to drive?" Katt asked.

Lynetta raised her hand.

The contestants stood in silence before charging onto the bus.

Lynetta sat in the driver's seat and slammed the gas as soon as everyone sat down.

Aquamara yelled at the high speed.

The bus soon caught up with the police cars to see they were chasing a red car driven by the criminally insane woman.

The woman scowled at the four vehicles chasing her. She threw a rock at one of the police cars, hitting its engine and causing it to stop.

She backed up and bumped another police car off the road and into the ocean.

The remaining police car contained the tallest officer. He drove up next to the bus. "What are you kids doing?!" He asked Lynetta.

Franz rolled down his window. "We are doing the honorable thing and rescuing our host!" He answered.

"What?!" The policeman asked.

The woman shot a large turtle shell at the police car.

The policeman's car spun out of control and crashed.

Lynetta drove the bus ahead and nearly caught the woman, but she sped away at the last minute.

The bus persued the woman into the city.

She got off of her car and charged into a crowd of people.

"Why are so many people gathered?" Katt asked.

"Apperently, Key$ha's performing." Luther observed.

"Ding-dong, on the bell!" Key$ha sang.

"Who does a concert in the middle of the day?" Lynetta questioned.

The contestants charged into the crowd to find the woman, but she was nowhere to be seen.

The woman was spotted by Lana, who made no comment to warn the others. She calmly walked toward her.

The woman ran onto the stage, pushing Key$ha off in the process.

Key$ha fell into the arms of her fans.

The contestants ran after the woman, who climbed off the stage.

Jena leaned down to talk to Key$ha. "Key$ha! Any juicy secrets about your crush on Canye East?"

Aquamara dragged Jena along with them.

The woman hopped back into her car and sped through the city of Paradise.

The contestants piled into the bus and followed her.

The woman parked in a car dealership full of cars that looked exactly like hers.

The bus parked in front of the indentical cars.

The contestants got off.

"Oh, man!" Luther sighed. "Which car could it be?"

Perci rolled his eyes. "Well, it's definately not the one with Chris' muffled screams coming out of the trunk." He walked up to the woman's car and banged on the locked door.

The woman sped out of the car dealership.

The bus followed her back to the beach.

"She's returning here?" Redd scoffed.

"Well, at least we know how to work our way around this place." Lynetta reminded.

The contestants charged out of the bus to find the woman speeding toward the water on foot.

She held the bag Chris was in. "Now you will finally feel my pain." She growled.

Rosi ran into the beach house, instead of going toward the beach. She pulled out a tranquilizer gun and ran to join her fellow compeititors. She shot the woman in the back with a dart.

The woman groaned and fell to the ground.

The eleven other compeititors stared at Rosi.

"Yes." Rosi said in a surprisingly calm voice. "I finally got her after a week of undercover work."

Team Female's eyes widened.

The three police officers came and threw the woman into one of the cars.

"U-undercover work?" Evi stammered.

Rosi blushed. "Yeah, the thing is... I was sort of an undercover cop the whole time."

"But what about the insane act?" Lynetta asked.

"Just an act." Rosi admitted.

"What about your cousin being Izzy?" Katt demanded.

Rosi bit her lip. "That part's true. It's so embarrassing having a relative on the other side of the law..."

Chris wrestled his way out of the bag. "Your entire bio was a lie?!" He asked.

"Yep." Rosi confirmed. "I signed up for this because that girl was targeting you for a while and wanted to catch you here. Since you were spending the next month here, I decided to sign up."

"Wait..." Chris gasped. "You knew all of this would happen?! And you let it happen?!"

Rosi blushed. "Well, I kind of have to take care of things in town, now." She waved to her former fellow contestants. "Bye."

Rosi was now in a police uniform, going back to Paradise.

The other contestants gave her an awkward good-bye as she climbed into the police car.

"That was surprising." Katt summarized.

"Wow, what a shocker." Chris closed. "What else will happen on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 9- Sink Or Swim

Chris was standing in a closet, obviously terrified and shivering.

Phil sighed off-screen, annoyed. "Chris." He sighed. "The lady's in jail. Get over it."

Chris nodded. "Do the recap, Chris." He told himself. "Anyway..."

Phil mumbled something rude under his breath.

"Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," Chris began. "I was kidnapped by a scary criminal stalker fan lady. The kids set out to rescue their beautiful host, and after ruining a Key$ha concert and going into a car dealership, Rosi caught the chick at the scene of the kidnapping. Then, she revealed her true identity and left the show, in a tragedy. What else will happen this time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

"That was good." Phil said sarcastically.

Chris nodded doubtfully.

Franz was frosting a cupcake, sitting at a table. He had his tongue sticking out, showing a focused face.

Perci walked over and saw the drawing on the cupcake. "Lana?" He asked.

Franz blushed and threw the cupcake to the side, in an effort to hide it.

Lynetta walked up with a face full of frosting. "If you ever want to throw pastrys at my face, don't." She peeled the cupcake off of her face and put it on the table. She looked at for a moment. "Huh." She stated. 'You made her look better than she actually does." She chuckled.

Luther was sitting in a chair, watching a video online. The camera zoomed in to show that it was a video of Key$ha being pushed into the crowd by the criminal, what had happened the day before.

"You'll help me vote for Perci, right?" Franz asked him.

Luther simply laughed at the video and didn't pay attention.

"You'll help me vote off Franz, right?!" Perci demanded.

Luther held up a football and began cuddling it, not paying attention.

Perci and Franz rolled their eyes.

Evi and Katt were playfully using umbrellas to "battle" each other on the beach.

"Nice umbrella skills." Evi chuckled.

"Right back at you." Katt giggled.

Janina was lying near them on a towel, calmly writing in her notebook. She occasionally laughed at their antics.

Katt put her umbrella down. "You win." She sighed. "How 'bout a victory kiss?"

Evi smiled and kissed Katt.

Janina rolled her eyes playfully.

Aquamara was shown in the beach house, putting a bucket of water on top of Redd's bedroom door.

Redd was heard humming from inside.

Aquamara smirked and hid in a potted plant.

Redd opened the door and was soaked in water. He began screaming and running around as his eyes widened.

Aquamara laughed loudly.

Redd came back with a baseball bat and smashed the bucket.

Aquamara continued to laugh.

Redd turned to her. If looks could kill. "Why did you do that?!" He yelled. "You know I'm afraid of water!"

Aquamara grinned. "I love that prank. Pulling it and falling for it."

Redd hyperventilated. "You are evil."

"And you proved that by setting the bucket I used on fire?" Aquamara inquired.

"It's not on fire." Redd turned around to see that the bucket was on fire. He smiled.

Aquamara walked away and sighed.

Jena was rifling through a stack of Lana's pictures of her and Darceline. Lana looked exactly like Darceline in most of them.

Lana walked up to her. "Why are you invading my personal space?" She asked dryly.

Jena ignored her and continued to look at the photos.

The three teams met Chris at the beach for a challenge.

Chris walked up in a speedo.

Many of the female contestants covered their eyes, and Katt threw up on Perci.

Chris frowned. "Anyway, today's challenge is a regular water activity...with a twist." Chris explained. "Each team will have to race to that big rock over there." Chris pointed to a big rock floating in the ocean in the distance. "The twist? Each team will be handcuffed together."

The contestants' eyes widened.

Redd began to hyperventilate, presumably at the contact with water. He began flailing around on the floor.

Aquamara rolled her eyes.

The contestants were now handcuffed and ready to go as they got ready to swim.

"And...go!" Chris announced.

The teams jumped into the water.

"Listen up, team." Lynetta ordered. "If we fly in a V formation, like geese, we'll be faster!"

"There aren't enough of us to form a full V." Evi pointed out.

Lynetta's perky smile dropped. "Well, Katt's strength is half of you or Janina's, so things should go smoothly."

Katt glared at Lynetta. "Tell me the Courtney clone with a butt bigger than Chris's ego did not just say that!"

Lynetta glared back. "You're one to talk..."

"You want to go, Lynetta?"

"Bring it, Katt!"

Evi stopped them from mauling each other, and they began their steady swimming.

Team Beach was being pulled to victory by Aquamara.

Jena sat back, floating and being pulled along, reading "The One Thousand And One Greatest Secrets of Lady Googoo."

Lana stared forward with her usual dry expression.

Redd was clinging onto Lana's back, avoiding all contact with the saltwater. Each time a tiny drop came his way, he dodged with cat-like reflexes.

"I pity da foo' who fears water!" Aquamara called playfully.

"I pity da foo' who pities me." Redd retorted.

Team Perci had decided to just flail around and move slowly to the finish.

"We're in last place!" Perci exclaimed.

Team Beach suffered a not-so-minor predicament when Redd fell into the ocean.

Redd began to flail around in the saltwater.

Aquamara failed to continue with Redd holding them back. "What's going on?"

"Redd's spazzing out." Jena replied. She attempted to rescue him, but was pushed away. She groaned and continued to attempt to rescue him.

Team Perci passed them, making it into second place.

"Hurry up." Lana ordered emotionlessly.

Jena slung Redd onto her back and the team began their home stretch.

Team Female made it to the finish, with Chris awaiting them.

Chris pointed at them. "Team Female takes first!"

Team Female cheered.

Katt hugged Evi.

Lynetta looked somewhat envious at Katt and looked for someone to hug. She hugged Janina.

Janina blushed and stared at Lynetta awkwardly.

Team Perci and Team Beach were about tied for second place.

Aquamara pulled ahead of them, dragging the rest of her team with her.

Team Beach arrived at the rock.

"And Team Beach wins!" Chris confirmed. "Team Perci will be heading to elimination for the fourth time."

Team Beach cheered.

Perci groaned.

"Vote for Franz." Perci ordered Luther.

"Vote for Perci." Franz ordered Luther.

Luther sighed.

Team Perci exchanged angry and uncomfortable looks at the elimination ceremony.

"Team Perci." Chris scolded. "This is your fourth time here. Tonight, three will become two. The only person not in the bottom two is Franz."

Franz got his seashell and smirked at Perci.

"Luther. Perci. This is the final seashell of the evening, and it goes to...























...Perci."

Perci smirked and grabbed his seashell.

"B-but..how?" Luther asked.

"What happened?" Franz questioned.

"Looks like Luther voted for himself." Chris guffawed.

"I couldn't decide!" Luther admitted.

Perci laughed evilly and sadistically.

"I demand a revote!" Luther yelled at Chris.

Chris smirked and snapped his fingers.

Two muscular interns came in and took Luther to the bus.

Luther screamed as he left.

"That's it for this week." Chris closed. "Tune in next time for more Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 10- That Volleyball Chapter

Chris was shown spiking volleyballs on a beach court. The volleyballs came one after another, like snowflakes on a cold December morning. Chris spiked each one with professional-like skill.

Chris turned to the camera. "Oh, hey there." He winked. "Just..." He spiked a ball. "Fighting..." He spiked another ball. "A tough..." He spiked another ball. "...Opponent."

The balls stopped coming.

"Looks like he's done." Chris bragged.

"Yeah." Phil scoffed sarcastically from off-screen. "Nice job beating the serving machine."

The camera showed a volleyball serving machine on the other side of the court.

Chris glared at the camera. "Anyway, it's time for the recap." He ordered hastily.

Phil sighed tiredly.

"Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," Chris began. "The contestants were handcuffed together for a swimming race. The three teams each had different methods of competing. Team Female competed with teamwork, Team Beach competed with only Aquamara, and Team Perci...just flailed around. In the end, Team Female took first, and Team Perci went to elimination numero quatro. After a mix-up, Luther went home. What will happen this time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

A single volleyball hit Chris on the head and knocked him out.

"I thought it ran out of balls." Phil laughed. "Oh well, never look a gift horse in the mouth." He continued to laugh.

Katt and Lynetta were shown mashing the buttons on their respective video game controllers the night after the swimming challenge.

The camera showed the television screen which was showing two muscular men with Katt and Lynetta's heads edited onto them wrestling.

"This is what you get for calling me a moron!" Katt grunted loudly.

"Don't act like you haven't been called worse!" Lynetta remarked back.

Katt mashed the buttons harder.

Aquamara was splashing around in a nearby fountain. She cheered and accidentally made a drop spill out of the fountain.

The drop flew onto the plug of the game system Katt and Lynetta were playing on. The game system shorted out, and the TV switched off.

Katt groaned.

"Keep the water in the fountain!" Lynetta ordered Aquamara. "I was about to win!"

Katt rolled her eyes, sat down, and began combing her hair.

"Of course, the girl who everyone thinks is beautiful tries to make herself more beautiful." Lynetta sighed matter-of-factly.

"Well, maybe, a little makeup keeps envy off me." Katt stated.

Lynetta rolled her eyes. "Go to the reality show where you belong, Canada's Next Top Vain Model."

Katt stood up. "Forget the game, let's go in real life."

Katt and Lynetta charged at each other, until Evi and Janina held them back, respectively.

"Whoa, whoa." Evi coaxed. "We don't need one less team member."

Katt and Lynetta glared at each other.

Janina looked over at Redd and waved shyly.

Redd waved back cheerfully.

Katt and Lynetta mumbled profanities and went to bed.

Redd walked up to the game system, which randomly lit on fire.

He turned to Aquamara. "Nice job." He complimented. "That's a quality fire."

Aquamara rolled her eyes. "Why are you really here? I doubt it's to make small talk."

Redd frowned annoyedly. "I'm want to conquer my fear of water.You're going to help me."

Aquamara guffawed hysterically.

Redd glared at her.

"Oh." Aquamara snickered. "You were serious."

Aquamara and Redd were seen on the beach.

Redd stared nervously at the sea.

Aquamra stared at Redd quizzically. "Just... touch it!" She ordered contently.

Redd slowly walked toward the water.

His toes slowly touched a small drop of water. Redd immediately panicked and ran into the beach house, panting.

Aquamara face-palmed. "We'll try again in the morning." She mumbled to herself. She smirked and ran toward the beach house.

Aquamara was seen kneeling on Redd's bed in the morning as he woke up.

Redd was taken back at the unexpected sight of her.

"You ready to conquer your fear of the ocean, Redd?" Aquamara asked calmly.

Redd nodded in a crescendo. "Okay." He sighed nervously.

"Great!" Aquamara exclaimed. She tore a tile off of the floor and the entire room fell apart, revealing the miles of ocean around them.

"What the?!" Redd screamed. "Are you insane?!"

Redd hung onto his lighter for dear life.

"You can't be serious, this is what you asked for!" Aquamara cheered.

Redd sat on the floor and slowly cradled back and forth.

Aquamara sighed disappointedly, grabbed a paddle, and began rowing back to shore.

Jena was seen putting on a brown wig, sunglasses, and a sparkly green dress outside the beach house.

She knocked on the door.

Aquamara opened the door.

"Hello..." Aquamara greeted awkwardly.

"Hey there!" Jena greeted in a false country accent. "My name is Felicity Von Twinklepuff, and i'm doing a survey on fear for my science class."

Aquamara nodded, stifling a chuckle.

Jena sat down next to Redd. "What are you afraid of, boy?"

Redd began babbling about his fear of water.

Perci and Franz, the only two remaining members of Team Perci, were in the shed.

Franz was sifting through his suitcase.

Perci looked over at him. "Franz." He called.

Franz ignored him.

"Look, Franz." Perci began. "I don't like you any more than you like me, but I don't want to remembered as the worst team in history! Now, the merge should be coming any day now. If you could cooperate with me for one to three more days, we'll never have to talk to each other again!"

Franz looked up slightly. "...Fine." He said under gritted teeth. "Let's be friends... for one day."

Perci and Franz shook hands, and went to sanitize afterwards.

Lana stood blankly next to the shed.

Franz saw her from the window and began to sketch her likeness on a cupcake.

The contestants went down to the beach to meet Chris for the challenge.

"Contestants!" Chris greeted. "Today's challenge is a beach classic: volleyball. Each team will be split into pairs, except for Team Perci, which already is a pair."

Franz and Perci glared at Chris.

"Each pair will be decided by this 'randomly' selected box of paper cards." Chris explained. He drew two cards. "Team Female has Katt and Lynetta and Evi and Janina for their pairs."

Katt and Lynetta face-palmed simulteously.

"Team Beach's pairs are Aquamara and Redd and Jena and Lana."

Jena sighed and looked at Lana.

Aquamara frowned. "Where'd Felicity Von Twinklepuff go?"

Jena stifled a snicker.

"And Team Perci makes five pairs. Since we have one too many to make a tournament, we will have to eliminate one team from the challenge in a match." Chris drew two cards. "Team Perci will be going up against Katt and Lynetta, losers are out of the challenge."

Katt and Lynetta reluctantly went over to a nearby court.

Team Perci did the same.

"First one to five points wins. Ready... set... go!" Chris called and threw the volleyball at Perci.

Perci served the ball toward the girls.

Katt and Lynetta both dived for the ball, bumped into each other, and missed.

Chris pulled out a small scoreboard and set it to 0-1.

Katt and Lynetta glared at each other.

"Nice move, knucklehead!" Lynetta insulted.

"Oh, what a nice girl. They didn't even have to censor that sentence." Katt groaned sarcastically.

Lynetta leaped at Katt while Franz spiked the ball to the right of them.

0-2.

Katt and Lynetta began arguing indistinctly.

Perci and Franz scored again.

0-3.

Perci served the ball again, and this time Katt spiked it back.

The ball hit the ground, failing to make it to the other side of the court.

0-4.

Lynetta face-palmed. "Spike it harder next time!"

Katt frowned angrily.

Franz spiked the ball and Katt spiked it back.

The ball flew off the court and hit Chris in the head.

0-5.

"Dah!" Chris moaned. "Team Perci wins the first round!"

Team Perci cheered.

Katt and Lynetta went back to their team.

"No comment." They said simulteuously.

"Next match-up!" Chris announced. He drew two cards. "Perci and Franz against Jena and Lana."

Jena groaned.

Team Perci showed hints of smiles.

The four contestants got on the court.

Chris threw the ball at Jena.

Jena spiked the ball at Franz.

Franz missed.

1-0.

Perci momentarily glared at Franz, but then politely looked away.

Perci spiked the ball at Lana, who made no effort to spike it.

Jena scowled.

1-1.

Franz repeated this strategy.

1-2.

Jena leaped over toward Lana, ready to spike the ball.

Perci served the ball to where Jena was standing before. |

1-3.

Jena standed in the middle of the court.

Perci passed it to Franz.

Franz served the ball to Lana before Jena couls run over.

1-4.

Jena simply sat down and frowned. "Just win."

Perci shrugged and served the ball away from Jena and Lana.

1-5.

"Team Perci wins the second part of the challenge!" Chris declared.

Jena and Lana went back to the sidelines.

Chris drew two more cards. "Aquamara and Redd against Evi and Janina. Whichever team loses this match will have all the player out of the challenge and go to elimination."

The team stared nervously at one another.

The four took their places.

Chris threw the ball at Evi.

Evi served the ball at Redd, who missed.

1-0.

Aquamara looked over at Redd. "Don't get distracted by the water!" She reminded.

Janina served the ball and hit a distracted Redd.

2-0.

Evi served the ball.

Aquamara spiked the ball back.

Janina spiked it back.

Redd missed.

3-0.

Redd looked over at the water and sighed nervously.

Aquamara frowned sadly.

Evi served the ball.

Redd missed again.

4-0.

"One more point, and Team Beach will go to elimination!" Chris declared.

Redd stared forward intensely.

Aquamara nodded at him, creating a perfect harmony.

Janina served the ball.

Aquamara passed the ball to Redd.

Redd spiked it to Janina, who missed.

4-1.

Redd served the ball in between Evi and Janina.

4-2.

Aquamara served the ball to Evi.

Evi spiked the ball back at her.

Aquamara passed the ball to Redd.

Redd caught Evi off-guard.

4-3.

Aquamara served the ball to Janina, who missed.

4-4.

"Match point!" Chris called.

Katt and Lynetta and Jena looked worriedly at Evi and Janina and Aquamara and Redd, respectively.

Redd served the ball hard and caught Team Female's pair off-guard.

4-5.

"Team Beach is safe!" Chris announced. "Team Perci wins first, for winning the most matches!"

Team Perci cheered somewhat awkwardly.

Team Beach cheered halfheartedly.

Redd smiled at Aquamara.

Team Female awkwardly looked at one another.

Team Female was seen at elimination.

"Team Female." Chris scolded. "I have three seashells..."

"Seashells?" Lynetta demanded. "Why can't we have pearls or something? That would represent the ocean."

"We don't have enough money in the budget to buy pearls." Chris explained.

"You have enough money to rent a beach house for nearly a month but you don't have enough to buy some pearls?" Lynetta complained. "Just have interns dive for them."

Phil and Daimion were heard shushing Lynetta from off-screen.

"Can we just get this over with?" Evi asked tiredly.

"If only your loud-mouth teammate would let me." Chris sighed angrily. "The first seashell goes to Janina."

Janina sighed in relief and got her seashell.

"Evi is also safe." Chris assured.

Evi smiled at Katt sadly and got his seashell.

"Katt. Lynetta." Chris began. "This the final seashell of the evening."

Katt stared at Chris nervously.

Lynetta stared at Katt smugly.

"The final seashell goes to...














...Katt."

Katt cheered and got her seashell.

Lynetta gasped, flabbergasted. "How can you vote me off?" She demanded. "I was the best player. I was an audience favorite. I was the president of the Der Schnitzel Kickers fan club!"

"What does that last one have to do with anything?" Katt laughed.

Lynetta blushed. "You know what? I don't need this. I don't need a compeition to tell me how good I am! I know just how good I am!"

"I doubt that." Janina giggled.

Katt and Evi smiled at Lynetta.

"Great, now even she insults me?" Lynetta complained. "I'm out of here." Lynetta angrily walked over to where the bus usually is, but it was absent.

"Where's the bus?!" Lynetta demanded.

"Um... Lynetta." Katt warned.

"What?!"

"Look over there." Katt pointed to the left.

The bus came charging at Lynetta.

Team Female's scared faces were shown as Lynetta screaming and a car horn were heard off-screen.

Chris' eyes widened. "Well, see you next week." He closed. "I'm going to go call the paramedics and hope I don't get... sued. And make sure there is enough money to have a next week..." Chris urgently pulled out his phone.

Chapter 11- Old Faces and New Places

Chris was seen in dark sunglasses and a leather jacket. He faced the camera and winked. "Hey, there." He greeted smoothly. "How ya doin'?"

The camera zoomed out to show that he was driving a dark convertible down a highway at night. Brightly lit buildings were seen around him.

"Just hangin' out on a Saturday night." He sighed. "Gettin' girls, losing guys." He bumped into a man's car, making him crash into a streetlight.

"Jerk!" The man yelled.

Chris grined sheepishly and continued driving. He drove past a couple of girls and winked at them.

The girls scoffed and laughed sadistically.

"Anyway..." Chris rushed. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach, the contestants competed in a volleyball tournament. Some fears were nearly conquered when Aquamara attempted to help Redd conquer his fear of water. A newly-motivated Team Perci dominated in the challenge, while I civil warring Team Female were wiped out before the final round. They went to their second elimination ceremony, where that loudmouth Lynetta was voted out. What will happen with her lawsuit? Will I ever get teeth any whiter than I have right now? And what will happen this episode? Here on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

An ugly, black-haired girl came up to the car while at a stoplight. "I see Chris McLean!" She sang. "Kickin' in the front seat, sittin' in the back seat, which seat can I take?"

Chris panicked and honked nervously.

Franz was shown by himself in a room in the beach house. He read aloud from a notepad. "Lana, would you go out with me?" He tried. "No, that won't work. Lana, will you watch TV with me? That nature show where the elephants... too strong. Lana, you dropped your pen. Too weak." He threw the notepad down in frustration.

Perci walked in. "If you want to ask the girl, I suggest you quit talking to a wall and practice on a real girl! Your voice is annoying me from across the hall!"

Franz looked down in despair.

Aquamara was sitting with Redd on a couch.

Redd looked frightened at a cup of water laying on a table next to them.

"Just calmly drink a sip of the water." Aquamara chided.

Redd slowly picked up the cup, shaking with fear. Water was shaken onto the table until the cup was empty.

"Well, it's obvious we can't do this without wasting water." Aquamara sighed. She took a sip from the small quantity that was left. "Ah, water."

Redd glared at her. Their hands met on the couch. They quickly pulled away and mumbled apoligies.

Jena walked in. "How are we doing?" She asked. "Any secrets to share, any gal pal secrets?" She said to Aquamara. "Girl to boy relationship advice?" She said to Redd.

Aquamara and Redd mumbled several things and walked away.

Jena frowned.

Lana was seen lying on the floor. Jena walked up to her.

"Why are you on the floor?" She inquired.

"I fell asleep here. Didn't feel like moving." Lana explained.

Jena rolled her eyes and walked away.

Team Female was seen happily sitting in the shed.

Katt sat on a bed, twiddling her thumbs and whistling a merry tune. "I'm so glad Lynetta's gone." She beamed.

Evi stood next to her throwing darts at a dartboard. "Yeah, I know right?" He threw a dart at a nearby picture of Lynetta.

Janina was listening to a myPod, nodding her head to the beat. She wrote in her notebook at the same time. She took careful notes of the song.

Chris' voice was suddenlt heard in the room. "Contestants, please come down to the beach for a special announcement."

Team Female went back to their business.

"No, seriously!" Chris ordered. "Get down here!" The contestants scurried over.

The remaining nine contestants headed down to the beach.

"Contestants." Chris explained. "At the beginning of this compeition, there were eighteen of you. Now only nine remain. Which means... You all have made it to the merge!"

The contestant cheered.

Perci yowled with excitement and pushed Franz to the ground.

Aquamara and Redd exchanged an awkward farewell.

Katt and Evi hugged each other and said good-bye.

Janina slowly inched away from her former teammantes.

Jena simply smirked at the others.

"But as we say good-bye to the teams, we say hello to a special group of teens who will help us with this challenge." Chris cooed.

He directed them to a small room outside the beach house.

"Magic," Darceline, Ariana, Drake, Kamron, N, Rosi, Luther, and Lynetta came out the door.

The contestants gasped.

"Each merged contestant will be paired up with an eliminated contestant. They have one hour to learn as much about them as possible. After that hour is up, you all will take a quiz about the contestant you were paired up with. Highest score wins."

"And our pairs are?" Redd asked.

Chris drew a card out of his pocket. "Lana and Darceline."

Darceline squealed and hugged Lana.

"Katt and Lynetta."

Katt face-palmed and half-heartedly walked over to Lynetta.

"Evi and N."

Evi awkwardly walked over to N, who smiled, but fell to the ground.

"Redd and Ariana."

Redd slowly stomped over to Ariana and smirked.

Ariana waved politely at Kamron.

"Aquamara and 'Magic.'"

Aquamara sighed and went over to "Magic" with a fake smile.

"Magic" smiled. "Finally, a nice assisstant!"

"Jena and Drake."

Jena groaned. "Of course I get the boring one."

Drake frowned.

"Janina and Rosi."

Janina awkwardly went over to Rosi.

Rosi, wearing her police uniform, smiled.

"Perci and Luther."

Perci scowled and went over to Luther.

"Franz and Kamron."

Kamron kept his eyes on Ariana but met Franz.

"Head on in, pairs."

The eighteen went into different rooms and began the challenge.

Lana and Darceline were seen in a room, lying on a red loveseat.

"This is going to be so easy!" Darceline cheered. "I mean, we've known each other for sixteen years. Everyone else only has an hour. I feel like such a bad girl, cheating."

Lana nodded expressionlessly.

Darceline hugged Lana.

"I've missed you so much since my elimination." She moped. "Hope you win, though. Let's review, just in case."

Darceline took out several pictures of them, making Lana crack an extremely tiny smile.

Katt and Lynetta were shown sitting far apart from each other on a loveseat, grumbling.

"Fine, then." Katt sighed. "Tell me about yourself."

Lynetta folded her arms and turned away.

Katt rolled her eyes. "Don't help me, then."

Evi and N were seen sitting on an identical loveseat.

N was scarfing down donuts that were on the table. "I never have donuts this nice at home. My uncle won't let me."

Evi sat up. "Really. Why?"

"He says they're fattening." N explained.

Evi nodded. "Thanks. Any other reason?"

"Well, I am allergic to chocolate." N sighed. "Good thing these are glazed."

Evi's eyes widened. "Those have chocolate inside of them."

N belched loudly as a rash spread onto his body. He began running around screaming for help before falling down.

Redd and Ariana were awkwardly sitting on a loveseat.

Ariana was looking up at the ceiling, thinking about Kamron.

Redd stared at her. "So, you like fashion?" He asked.

Ariana nodded absently and looked at her pants. "Do these pants make me look fat?"

"No..." Redd responded. "So, now I know you care about your weight."

Ariana slapped Redd.

Redd winced.

"Don't talk about my weight!" She ordered.

Redd rolled his eyes and grumbled.

Aquamara was seen sitting on a loveseat, staring at "Magic," who was trying to make a table turn into a bunny.

"So, 'Magic,' tell me about yourself." Aquamara sighed.

"I am the greatest magician in the universe!" "Magic" bragged.

Aquamara moaned. "Do you like water?"

"I like manipulating water to make it turn into a cup!" "Magic" replied.

Aquamara frowned.

Jena and Drake were shown sitting far apart on a loveseat.

"So, Drake, what are your goals in life?" Jena grumbled.

"Well, I've always dreamt of making a living directing movies." Drake stated.

Jena nodded boredly. "Any other aspirations?"

Drake shook his head. "I like to play video games..." He mumbled.

Jena scoffed. "Why did I have to get the only boring one?"

Drake rolled his eyes. "So, I'm not a treasure trove of gossip, so what?"

Jena laughed ridiculously.

Drake glared at her.

Janina and Rosi were seen sitting far apart from each other.

"So, you managed to stay in the game this long?" Rosi asked.

Janina nodded shyly. She pointed to Rosi and at herself.

"Oh, yeah." Rosi chuckled. "Well, I hold the record for Youngest Police Officer To Foil The Plan Of An International Villain, and I am the youngest member of my squad."

Janina got out her notebook and took notes.

Perci was seen staring at Luther irritatedly as he cuddled with a football.

"Why do you like sports so much?" Perci asked him.

Luther gasped. "How can you not like sports? I mean, just think about it. Gaining fame and fortune playing a fun game. Woo!"

Perci rolled his eyes and nodded tiredly. "Can you just shut up, now? Your voice seriously irritates me!"

Luther winced. "Aw, dude, I was just trying to help you... Arm wrestle me to see who's right!"

Luther put his arm up.

Perci smirked and knocked Luther to the floor with one swing.

Franz was seen with Kamron, chatting.

"So, you got that date with Ariana, I see." Franz observed.

Kamron grinned and nodded.

"I love her so much." He beamed. "Like, just yesterday, she drew me a picture and signed it!"

Franz nodded eagerly. "So, tell me more about yourself."

"...I'm adopted." Kamron admitted. "My brother and I were adopted by a single man. We're not related to each other, so I have no idea where my real parents are or whether or not I had siblings."

Franz frowned uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. I know this sounds selfish, but tell me more."

Kamron began to tear up, but continued.

The eighteen contestants came out of the building with mixed expressions.

"Ready to take a quiz?" Chris inquired gleefully.

The contestants all shook their heads.

"Too bad." Chris guffawed. "Oh, and you all." He pointed to the eliminated contestants. "Get out."

The nine losers grumbled and walked away.

Chris directed the contestants to an auditorium with computers set up at each chair.

The contestants took seats in the front row.

"Turn on your computer and start your quizzes." Chris ordered.

The nine began their quizzes.

Perci leaned over at Franz's screen and snickered.

Later, Chris turned off the computers with a remote. "Time's up!" He declared. He stared at a small computer he had. "The winner is... Lana!"

Lana said nothing.

The other contestants gasped.

"How could she win?!" Jena demanded.

"If you haven't noticed, she's spent sixteen years with her partner." Chris pointed out.

Jena's eye twitched.

Perci smirked at her. "I'm sure the others will have no hesitation to vote for you."

"Actually, I was going to vote for you." Redd admitted.

"I'm voting Jena." Katt sighed.

Evi nodded.

Aquamara scoffed. "Perci is a way bigger threat." She reasoned.

Jena and Perci glared at each other.

Lana looked at them and blinked silently.

The nine contestants were seen at the elimination ceremony.

Jena and Perci stared at each other with poker faces.

Chris smirked at the merged teens.

"Today, only one of you holds immunity." He began. "Tonight, nine will become eight. Lana is safe."

Lana trudged up and picked up her seashell.

"Franz is safe."

Franz smirked at Perci and got his seashell.

"Aquamara is safe."

Aquamara got her seashell.

"These next two seashells go to Evi and Katt."

Evi and Katt grinned at each other and picked up their seashells.

"Next one goes to Redd."

Redd sighed in relief and picked up his seashell.

"Janina, come up."

Janina smirked and got her seashell.

Jena and Perci smirked at each other.

"The final seashell." Chris stated. "Only one you will win this game, and it might be...


















...Jena."

Jena cheered and picked up her seashell with relish.

Perci gasped. "How could you pick that b**** over me?!" He demanded.

Jena rolled her eyes.

"I'll be back!" Perci yelled. "And all of you will be sorry! Better sleep with one eye open tonight! Or else I'll..."

Chris snapped his fingers.

A burly intern wrapped Perci up in a straightjacket.

The intern threw him onto the bus.

The eight remaining contestants looked at each other awkwardly for a minute, then cheered.

"The villain is gone!" Aquamara squealed.

The camera zoomed in on Jena.

She winked devilishly.

Chapter 12- Total Drama For Two

Chris was seen running across a road holding a bag. He was panting heavily, desperate to reach his destination. A car came up behind him in pursuit. He looked to his right and dove behind a thick, leafy bush. From behind the foliage, he steathily opened the bag and peered inside. He slowly tipped it onto its side as assorted desserts spilled out: brownies, cupcakes, cookies, and muffins. Chris beamed as he began stuffing his face with the fattening foods.

Phil muttered something off-screen. "Chris. Quit stuffing your face with sugary desserts and do the recap."

Chris' eyes widened. "This is my private time!" He yelled. "Leave me alone!"

Phil threw a tennis ball at his crotch.

Chris bent over in pain. "Okay." He managed. "I'll do it."

"Thank you." Phil mumbled.

"Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," Chris began. "The contestants were merged into the solo part of the compeition. Also, our old friends, AKA the losers, showed up to help us with the challenge. In the end, Lana claimed victory with the help of her partner and sister, Darceline. Jena and Perci fought for the others' votes, and Perci turned out to be the loser! With our villain gone, who will take his place? Who will crack under the pressure of another challenge? And who will make a move that can elevate the entire game? Find out right now on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chris went back to stuffing his face. "There!" He said to Phil with a mouth full of cupcake frosting.

Lana was seen in the beach house, by herself. She was sitting idlely on a couch, staring blankly at the television.

"Charlie Bean has been fired from Three and a Third Men after being caught dating Lady Googoo!" A TV reporter droned.

Lana nodded expressionlessly and sighed. "How foolish."

She stared out the window and saw a cloud that resembled Darceline. She simply sighed dully.

The other seven contestants were shown in the shed.

Katt was impatiently styling her hair while staring over at Evi.

Evi was calmly sketching a picture of Katt on a sketchpad.

"Is it done yet?" Katt groaned.

Evi shook his head. "Sorry. I keep getting distracted." His pencil snapped.

Katt frowned.

"Anyone have a sharpener?" Evi asked sheepishly.

Jena sat down next to Evi. "Evi. Full name, favorite food, favorite activity." She ordered.

"Urm, Evi Victor Ianson." Evi mumbled.

"That spells EVI." Jena chuckled.

Evi glared at her. "My favorite food is pumpkin pie, and my favorite activity is being with Katt."

"Aww!" Katt shrieked. She hugged Evi tight.

Jena rolled her eyes. "Well, no threat there." She said in confessional. "Relationships only distract you from the game. The only two things that relationships do to help the lovebirds is voting together and being motivated by the other being voted out. Two votes won't cause a big change, at least not yet, but the second one is a problem. All I need to do convince them that I'm on their side. Then, they'll never think that I was the one that voted out the other."

"Well, I wish the best to you two!" Jena cheered to Katt and Evi outside confessional.

Franz was seen staring out the window. He was focused on Lana, idle and staring at the sky. He sighed lovingly and looked up at the clouds, seeing one that resembled Lana.

Jena observed him and took careful notes.

Franz glared over at her. "What do you want?" He demanded.

Jena looked away quickly. She jotted down more notes.

Katt sighed. "Franz and Lana would be so cute together..."

Evi nodded. "I suppose so."

Aquamara and Redd were sitting next to each other on a bed.

A napkin with a single drop of water sat between them.

Redd stared at it, bug-eyed.

"Just lick the drop off..." Aquamara coaxed.

Redd nodded slowly. He touched his tongue to the cloth, but quickly pulled away.

"Well." Aquamara beamed. "I think we've made some progress!"

Redd smiled softly.

Janina was lying on the bed across from them. She was tapping away at a handheld video game.

"Super Maria Sisters, for Rintendo XD!" The system chanted.

Redd sat down next to Janina. "Hey."

Janina blushed and turned to focus on her video game. Redd moved closer to her.

Janina blushed more and put the game away.

Redd rested his hand on hers.

Janina continued to blush, but grinned and returned the gesture.

Aquamara looked at them from afar, with just a just a hint of envy. She scowled.

Jena was seen behind a thick bush. She put on a blue cap, green shirt, jeans, tennis shoes, a red wig, and a blue jacket.

She knocked on the door of the beach house.

Lana trudged up to the door and opened it.

"Ello!" Jena greeted with a false British accent. "My name is Nancy Peppercorn and I am a relationship therapist."

Lana stared at her blankly.

"I just spoke to that young French man in that shoddy hut." Jena continued. "He seems to have a desire to date you. I just have to ask, what feelings, if any, do you have for him?"

Lana stared at her. "None."

Jena shook her head. "This is pathetic." She broke her accent.

Lana sighed emotionlessly, as if nothing had just happened.

Jena walked away, still dressed as Nancy Peppercorn.

The eight contestants went to the beach for their challenge.

"Welcome to day two of the merge!" Chris welcomed.

"Woo. Yay." Redd groaned.

Chris sighed and face-palmed. "Anyway, today's challenge will involve a little teamwork."

The contestants eyed one another.

"You all will be divided into four pairs." Chris explained. "Each pair will be presented with a different challenge, based on how your team works, already. The pairs are... Aquamara and Redd.

Redd looked at Aquamara and smiled softly.

Aquamara beamed.

"Katt and Evi."

Katt and Evi hugged each other tight.

"Lana and Franz... I guess."

Franz grinned at Lana.

Lana continued to stare at the sky.

"And, Janina and Jena, I guess."

Jena walked over to Janina, eagerly and smirked.

Janina stared at Chris awkwardly.

"Listen up. If a team fails to complete a challenge, they will be up for elimination. If more than one team failed, we will have a tiebreaker. If no one failed, we will judge your performances." Chris announced.

The contestants' eyes widened.

"First up, Aquamara and Redd!" Chris announced. He led them to their challenge.

Aquamara and Redd were brought to one of the rooms used for the previous challenge.

A screen was attached to the wall, playing all of their movements.

Redd's eyes widened. "What are we doing...?"

Aquamara looked to Chris.

"What you two lack is friendship." Chris declared. "You may spend a lot of time with each other, but you don't chat with each other very much or hang out together. So, we're going to have you two chat with each other in this room while we watch from outside." He pushed them onto the couch. "See ya!"

He and the other six contestants walked out. They went to a theater to watch Aquamara and Redd socialize.

Aquamara and Redd were sitting backs to each other awkwardly.

"S-so." Redd stammered. "How are you doing?"

Aquamara looked at him. "Good, I suppose."

"Should we try to win this thing?" Redd inquired.

Aquamara nodded. "Well, if we don't, we have to go home."

"So. You like water, right?" Redd sighed.

Aquamara nodded hastily. "And you like fire?"

Redd did the same. "You know... I never took us for friends either. We're complete opposites. I'm tough and pessimistic, and you're nice and optimistic. I like fire, you like water."

Aquamara sighed. "Only a true pessimist would admit he's pessimistic."

Redd chuckled. "I know, right?"

Aquamara frowned. "Why do you like fire so much?"

Redd clenched his fists. "It's a long, depressing story."

Aquamara slid down closer to Redd. She put her head on his shoulder and smiled. "Care to tell me?"

In the theater, Jena grinned and sat up.

"Well, I guess I can trust you... but the others..." Redd's voice trailed off.

"I, um, understand." Aquamara coughed. "Well, my life with water has been really cheery."

Redd and Aquamara slid closer to one another and leaned in slowly.

Jena was seen in the theater eating popcorn quickly.

A buzzer rang in the room Aquamara and Redd were in.

"Time's up!" Chris yelled.

Jena groaned.

Aquamara and Redd came out, smiling.

"You have succeeded!" Chris congratulated.

The two beamed.

"Next up, Jena and Janina."

As Chris led the eight to Jena and Janina's challenge, Jena went up to Aquamara and Redd.

"The other might not have realized what was happening there," She warned. "But I did and I know how to use it against you. Katt and Evi might side with you, but the others... not so much."

Aquamara and Redd looked at one another nervously.

The contestants reached a small glass box with some furninture inside. "Jena and Janina..." Chris explained. "You two haven't really interacted. But the first step to a good friendship is trust. All you two have to do is show trust to each other to pass your test."

Janina and Jena awkwardly stepped into the box.

Jena immediately began pressing for answers. "Janina! Give me some secrets and we'll get out of here."

Janina sighed. She backed away and sat down on a beanbag.

Jena went over to her. "Look, if you're trying to sacrifice yourself to get me out of the game... then you're smarter than I thought."

Janina shook her head and blushed.

"Oh, of course." Jena thought aloud to herself. "She's just shy. No surprise there."

Jena blushed more.

Jena smirked. "Give me the secrets and I'll..."

Janina threw her diary at her face.

Jena frowned and picked up the diary. She opened to the first page and began reading. She read the entire thing through and nodded. "Very interesting."

Janina coughed awkwardly.

"I'm sure Aquamara will love that last entry." Jena cooned. "And I'm sure Redd will find it intriguing, as well."

Aquamara and Redd looked at each other awkwardly.

Janina blushed as bright as a tomato.

Jena frowned. "Well, I trust all of this is true..."

A buzzer rang.

"Time's up!" Chris announced. "Janina and Jena, you succeed!"

Jena smirked.

Janina sighed in relief.

Aquamara glared at her.

"Next up, Franz and Lana!" Chris called.

Franz stared at Lana lovingly as Chris led them to their challenge.

The contestants came up to a bridge connecting two sides of a steep cliff. The orange structure contained several cracks and looked extremely unstable.

"How can there even be a cliff here?" Franz mumbled.

Lana stared forward blankly.

"What you two need is carefulness. Franz, you openly express your love for Lana when she's not around. With people like Jena around, that's not such a good idea." Chris scolded.

Jena rolled her eyes and glared at Chris.

"Lana, you do show any care for anything... at all." Chris sighed. "Your challenge is to walk across this fragile bridge without having it break. And, just to make things more interesting, Franz has to carry Lana across."

Franz blushed and smiled. He picked up Lana and began inching toward the bridge.

Lana looked at Franz emotionlessly.

Franz quivered with every step.

He stepped on the bridge carefully and began making his way across the cliff.

Lana stayed perfectly still.

Franz stepped onto the other side of the cliff.

"Hourra!" He cheered. He put Lana down slowly and blushed blissfully.

"Lana and Franz!" Chris announced. You succeed!"

Franz cheered again.

Lana stared at Chris blankly.

Franz put his arm around Lana and directed her back to the others. "What do you say you and me..."

The bridge beneath them shattered, sending the two down the bottomless pit.

Chris' eyes widened. "We can't afford that sort of lawsuit!" He panicked. "Someone do something!"

Franz was seen holding Lana to his chest while falling. "Lana!" He shrieked. "I know I never got to tell you this, but now since we're falling to our deaths, I've got nothing to lose! I love you, Lana! Remember me!" He kissed her on the lips.

Lana seemed slightly fazed.

A net scooped the two teens up and carried them back up to ground level.

Franz's eyes widened. "No! No! Let me back down there! I can't deal with life now!"

The net was revealed to be manned by Aquamara and Janina. "Don't you just love fishing?" Aquamara asked them.

The other contestants stared forward with wide eyes.

Jena got out her notepad and began scribbling down page after page of notes, all while wearing a devious smirk.

Franz blushed and continued to panic.

Lana blushed slightly and awkwardly moved away from Franz.

Franz smiled sadly at her and groaned.

Katt began to tear up. "How sweet..."

"Speaking of sweet, you and Evi are the last ones who need to do the challenge." Chris declared.

He led the teens to the final challenge.

Two trailers stood next to each other. They both had a sign above the door reading "Evi" and the other one reading "Katt."

"What are we doing?" Evi asked.

"Katt. Evi. You two have learned to work together as one. But do you know what the most important part of a relationship is?" Chris scolded.

"What?" Katt asked cheerfully.

Chris' smile turned into a smirk. "When you get tired of the person you're dating and decide to spend some time alone. Like I should've done with that crazy chick... Anyway, each of you will have to decorate your trailers using only your own interests and tastes."

Katt and Evi gave half-smiles.

"This should be easy." Evi beamed.

Katt nodded disappointedly.

Phil and Daimion carried two baskets full of assorted items to the trailers.

"And... begin!" Chris called.

Katt and Evi rushed to get items to decorate the trailers.

Evi was shown hanging classic artwork and pictures of female celebrities.

Katt was shown hanging awards she had won and setting up her make-up cabinet.

Later, Katt and Evi were shown stepping out of the trailers, presumably finished.

Jena snuck up behind the trailers. She climbed into the window of Evi's trailer and grabbed several things. Dhe hopped across into Katt's trailer and set up the things she had taken in her trailer. She took several of Katt's things and switched them over to Evi's.

She snuck back out and smirked evilly.

Chris grinned. "Let's check this out." He stepped into the two trailers individually and came out, clearly not satisfied.

"Katt. Evi." He sighed.

Katt and Evi looked up hopefully.

"You have failed." Chris declared.

Katt and Evi's eyes widened.

Many of the other teens looked at one another.

"And that means...















..you two are eliminated."

Katt and Evi frowned and looked down.

Janina sighed in disappointment and hugged the two good-bye.

Aquamara waved at them neutrally.

Jena smirked and glared at them despicably.

Katt returned with a dirty glare.

The bus pulled up and the door opened.

Franz gave Evi a high-five as the couple retreated into the bus.

Katt and Evi looked at each other halfheartedly and departed.

"There goes the only couple on this show..." Chris mumbled.

"What about Kamron and Ariana?" Redd inquired.

Chris ignored him and closed, "What else will happen? Find out next week on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 13- Around Paradise In 15 Minutes

The silhouette of Chris McLean was seen behind a violet shower curtain. He had his hands around what appeared to be a bottle of shampoo, and was singing into it, as if it were a microphone. He was hopped around while doing this, busting out lyrics to a random song. "I want your nerd!" He sang. "I want your smartness! You and me could solve a Nubik's Cube!"

Phil snickered from off-screen. "Lady Googoo?"

Chris shrieked in a high-pitched voice as he slipped and slammed onto the wet floor of the shower. "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm here to film the intro." Phil chuckled.

"Oh." Chris muttered. He pushed the shower curtain over and peered his head out. "It's 7 AM, already... I hate Mondays."

"I know, right?" Phil mumbled.

"Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," Chris began. "The contestants were split into four pairs for a challenge to remember. Just as Janina stepped into the friendship Aquamara and Redd had, Jena began to formulate a plan not only against them, but against Franz. Who, by the way, got what he thought would be his final kiss from Lana as the two plumetted to their deaths. Too bad they were saved..." Chris sneered. "As the sun began to set on the shore of Paradise Beach, California, Katt and Evi finally cracked and were sent to wherever our losers go after elimination. Who will join them this time on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Franz was seen sitting beside Lana on a couch. He looked over at her worriedly.

Lana was sitting staring forward with a confused and dazed expression. Her eyes were wide and plump.

Franz stifled a cough. "Lana." He coaxed. "Are you okay? I mean, you've been like that ever since yesterday. I know I must've surprised you, but... this isn't like you."

Lana fell off the couch, still completely fazed.

Franz poked her in the back, hoping for a reaction.

Lana didn't even blink.

Jena walked up to the two. She stared down at Lana. "Franz." She cooed. "I think you might've finally broken her. You know, worse than how Aquamara broke the TV a few days ago."

The TV randomly lit on fire.

Franz face-palmed. "Jena. What do you want?"

"Just checking up." Jena explained. "You seem distracted, Lana seems physically unresponsive, you two present no threat."

Franz ignored her last comment and plopped down onto the couch.

"What did I do?" Franz demanded in confessional. "I tell Lana that I love her, which I do, because we were going to die. Then, we get rescued! Why do you think I didn't tell her before? I was way too timid. So, what now? What now? She actually reacted, but now I think I've broken her. She's in some sort of trance. There's no way I can live with myself now..." He wiped a tear from his eye.

Aquamara was swimming in the pool outdoors. She was doing laps back and forth across the water, obviously enjoying herself. She giggled every once in a while.

Redd was sitting on a lounge chair beside the pool, wearing sunglasses. "How is this supposed to help me?"

Aquamara looked up at him and frowned. "Well, I was hoping that after you saw how much fun I was having in the water, you might see that there's nothing to be afraid of."

Redd glared at her. "So, basically, you got tired of trying to help me and wanted to have some fun?"

Aquamara nodded. "Pretty much." She dived down into the water and continued play around gleefully.

Redd sighed and went inside.

Aquamara looked up. "No, Redd! Wait!" She called.

Janina was seen inside the beach house, writing in her notebook and drinking from a cup of juice.

Redd walked in through the back door.

Janina shifted her gaze to him and waved shyly but politely.

Redd grinned at her and walked over. He sat on the couch with her. He rested his hand on hers.

Janina blushed but smiled. She made a small effort to turn away and continue writing, but Redd moved in closer.

"Don't be shy." He cooed.

Janina continued to blush deeply.

Redd suddenly moved away and frowned. He turned and put his back to Janina. Aquamara was watching the pair, wearing a dismayed grimace.

"Janina." Redd sighed. "You're a great girl, but... Aquamara and I... we just..."

Janina gave a halfhearted smile and grabbed Redd's lips. "Just shut up and go to her." She chuckled.

Redd's eyes widened at the sound of her voice. "Urm... thanks." He ran up to the door and opened it.

Aquamara looked up ever so slightly. "Redd?" She sniffled.

Redd hugged her.

"B-but..." Aquamara stuttered. "What about Janina?"

"She'll be fine." Redd assured. "Let's just make out, like any of those Total Drama couples."

Aquamara grasped Redd by the shirt and gave him a french kiss.

Janina winked at her from inside.

Jena's head was shown rising from the pool floor. She stared over at the new couple and smirked.

"The only person not distracted by love is Janina." Jena stated in confessional. "And beating her won't be that much of a challenge. This game is as good as mine."

Franz was shown in his room, staring at the ceiling.

"This game seems impossible to win, for me." Franz moaned in confessional. "Being the last one left from Team Perci, I have no allies. Well, frankly, I had no allies with the team anyway. But the point is, I need allies. Janina just lost her Team Female allies yesterday, and I guess I can get Lana to vote with me. Jena will probably charge a price, but I guess I can pull it off."

Franz was seen going up to Jena. "Jena. I was wondering if we could be allies?"

Jena smirked. "Fine. But I get updates on everything concerning you and Lana as they happen. And secondly, the alliance ends when I say it does."

Franz forced a smile and nodded.

Chris' voice came on the loudspeaker. "Final six. Come outside the beach house for your challenge."

The contestants did as told.

Chris was waiting for them beside the bus that is used to carry out the losers.

"So, today's challenge involves us going... somewhere?" Jena inquired.

Chris nodded. "Time to go to Paradise." He announced.

He and the six contestants boarded the bus and took off.

Lana was sitting near a window, staring out of it, still paralyzed.

She saw a billboard labeled "Relationship Couseling." A teenage boy with a stereotypical bad boy appearence had his back turned to a weaping girl that highly resembled Lana. Lana wiped a tear from her eye.

Franz witnessed this, and frowned in retaliation.

The bus arrived in the Paradise City Circle.

Chris led the six contestants out of the bus. It was parked in front of six cars.

"A tradition of this city is the annual car race." Chris explained. "Therefore, your challenge is simple. Race all the way to the beach house from this very spot. No maps, no rules."

Jena smirked.

Aquamara's eyes widened.

Redd glared at Chris. "You do realize this is illegal?"

Chris shrugged. "Nothing will happen if we don't get caught."

Chris pointed to the six cars. "Get in, and get ready to start your engines!"

The contestants except for Lana got into the cars.

Franz frowned and plopped Lana into the remaining car. He adjusted her leg so that she ws stepping on the gas pedal. She sped ahead instantly.

"Well." Chris scolded. "It looks like that was a fail. Just go."

The other five followed behind Lana.

Jena was seen the closest behind Lana. She wore a determined expression.

Lana sped right through a major road, causing several cars and pedestrians to run aside.

Jena slammed her foot onto the gas and began to catch up to Lana.

Redd was seen side-by-side to Aquamara. They were behind Jena.

"How can someone who'd not even trying go so fast?" Redd demanded.

Aquamara smiled sheepishly. "Either way she's leading."

Redd grumbled indistinctly and kept his steady pace. "I'd like one of us to win invincibility. That'll keep me from freaking out at the elimination." Redd smiled.

Aquamara winked at him.

Franz pulled ahead of the two. "Is Lana safe?" He asked. "Has she crashed or anything?"

"No." Aquamara replied. "But she's about to hit some Chinese food place."

Franz's eyes widened.

Lana continued driving forward and crashed right through the wall of the restaurant. She knocked down several tables and knocked aside innocent diners, not to mention hundreds of dollars worth of decorations and the wall across from the first one she destroyed.

Jena followed her through.

Aquamara and Redd went around the restaurant, with Franz pulling ahead quickly.

"Lana!" He called. "Where is she?"

Janina was seen far away from them, driving up a ramp for a parking complex. When she reached the top, she began jumping from rooftop to rooftop, drawing several spectators.

A young boy looked up at her. "Wow, a street performer!"

Janina looked over and blushed. She got distracted and accidentally knocked a giant soccer ball that had been set for a sporting goods store off its roof and caused it to drop near the spectators.

The spectators ran for cover.

Janina continued to go ahead despite this.

Franz was shown near Jena, speeding toward Lana.

Franz rammed into a clothesline and made it snap, causing people to be blanketed by laundry.

A pair of Daisy Duke shorts and a bikini with blue cupcakes attached to it fell onto Aquamara.

Redd looked over at her. "If you weren't wearing clothes under it, I would be really overjoyed."

Aquamara blushed.

A teenage girl spotted them. "Is that Kary Gerry?" She inquired, referring to Aquamara.

"What?!" Aquamara stammered.

"You have blue hair, and a replica of the California Chicks outfit!" Redd explained.

Aquamara's eyes widened.

Franz sped ahead of Jena, glaring at her in the process.

Aquamara and Redd knocked into Jena, sending her into the air.

"You'll regret this!" Jena called back.

Redd smirked and continued with Aquamara.

Franz pulled ahead to be side-by-side with Lana. "Lana!"

Lana was still staring ahead with shock.

Janina suddenly dropped behind them, putting her into third place.

The contestants drove out of the city and began to approach the beach house.

Lana and Franz led the group with Janina close behind. Aquamara and Redd were a fair distance away.

Franz slowed down a few miles per hour to let Lana claim immunity.

"Go ahead, Lana!" He called halfheartedly.

Just as Lana was going to reach the beach house, Jena dropped out of the sky in a smoking heap and landed right in front of her.

Franz's eyes widened.

Redd's right eye twitched.

"And from a come-from-behind, out-of-nowhere finish, Jena wins invincibility!" Chris announced.

Jena looked back and observed her prey. "Have fun with the vote, besties." She called sarcastically.

Franz hopped out of his car and dragged Lana out of hers. They apporached Jena.

"What are we doing?" Franz sighed.

Jena took a breath and told the two her plan.

The six contestants, soon to be five, sat awkwardly at elimination. Franz and Lana and Aquamara and Redd held hands, while Jena and Janina sat off alone, with mixed emotions.

Chris approached the teens. "I have five seashells here for the five that get to stay. The votes are in, and one of you will be leaving the beach tonight. Never to return... ever."

Jena rolled her eyes.

"Jena, since you won invincibility, you get the first seashell."

Jena went up and claimed her seashell.

"Janina, you're safe as well."

Janina sighed in relief and claimed her prize.

"Lana, come on up."

Lana stayed completely still.

Chris sighed and threw the seashell at her head.

Lana didn't respond.

Chris held up a seashell. "Franz, this beauty goes to you."

Franz carried Lana over and claimed the seashell.

Aquamara and Redd hugged each other tight.

"The final seashell goes to...

































...Redd."

Redd stood up and gasped. "But... why would anyone vote Aquamara out over me? I deserve to go home way more than she does!"

Chris chuckled. "Ah, young love... Aquamara's going, dude."

Aquamara frowned and stood up. "Stay strong for me." She ordered Redd. "I'll see you in the finale. I trust you'll at least make it there."

Redd smiled depressedly. He turned toward the others, who presumably all voted for Aquamara.

They frowned apoligetically, except for Jena, who smirked.

Aquamara softly kissed Redd on the lips.

"Aquamara! Time to go!" Chris called.

Aquamara winked goodbye to Redd and trudged into the bus alone.

Redd grimaced.

"And that's our final five!" Chris closed. "Tune in next time for more drama, here on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 14- Personally, I Prefer The Ground

Chris was shown half-sitting, half-lying on a couch, watching TV. He had a box of tissues in one hand and a gallon of ice cream in the other. He drew a large spoon from his pocket and began eating the frozen treat while crying and blowing his nose.

"Urm... Chris." Phil called awkwardly. "We have to start the show. What are you even doing?"

"Not now!" Chris sobbed. He stared intently at the television. "Angela just broke up with Brad!"

"Chris..." Phil sighed.

"Wait!" Chris sniffled. "I can't miss my soap operas!"

Phil looked at the TV with a confused expression. "Chris, that isn't even a soap opera."

"Hold it!" Chris ordered. "Brandon is about to propose to Layla!"

"It's over nine thousand!" A male voice on the TV roared.

Phil picked up the remote and flicked the TV off.

Chris looked around frantically, as if he had just woken up from a peculiar dream. "Oh... right."

Phil muttered something indistinct.

"Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," Chris began. "The six unlicensed teens competed a race through our glorious coast. Not at all surprisingly, the city took more damage than they did. Meanwhile, Franz joined a final three alliance with Lana and Jena. The love triangle ended for Aquamara, Janina, and Redd when Aquamara and Redd finally kissed. Unfortunately, Jena claimed immunity and directed her alliance to vote off Aquamara. The water-loving teen took the midnight bus going... to wherever our losers go. Now, we're left with our final five! Franz, Jena, Janina, Lana, and Redd. As we head to the finals, who will lose their chance for one... million... dollars? Find out right here on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

"Everything went according to plan." Jena crooned in confessional. "With the unexpected vote from Janina, I managed to get rid of Aquamara. With my alliance of the nimrods, Franz and Lana, I can easily make the finals and beat either one of them. Janina and Redd only need to defect one person over from my side, but they're obviously too stupid to do something like that. Redd's distracted by his lovefest, and Janina just goes with the flow. This game is as good as mine." She cackled evilly.

Franz was seen sitting by Lana on a bunk. He was staring at the ground, obviously depressed.

Lana retained her dazed expression and was staring forward at the wall.

Franz sighed deeply and put his hand on her knee. "Lana." He coaxed. "I know what I did was sudden and selfish. You obviously weren't ready for a relationship, and I should've respected that. I'm sorry for what I did back there, and if you never want to speak to me again... not that you really have, but you know what I mean... I understand. Au revoir." He sniffled and stood up.

Lana pulled him back down with a quick jolt of her right arm.

Franz's eyes widened as he stared at her, waiting for an explanation.

Lana spoke nothing, but burst into tears.

Franz stared at her confusedly and asked, "Lana, are you alright?"

Lana rested her elbows on her knees and cupped her hands over her eyes.

"Lana!" Franz gasped. "What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?"

Lana continued to sob. "They told he was trouble. They told me I to stop it and forget him. I should've listened."

"But... who was he? What was he like?" Franz inquired.

"His name was Aaron." Lana babbled. "He was one of the guys who you loved despite all your friends said about him. They told me was a heartbreaker, and a heartless one at that. He never showed any sort of care for me, any sort of feelings. Kind of like how I force myself to act now. Even Darceline was worried. And then, on my birthday, the one day where he gave me some love. And, out of the things I expected, he breaks up with me. On my birthday. I was broken. Shattered. Left to die alone."

Franz put his arm around her. "You don't need him. You're a strong, independent young woman. And with a little help, I'm sure you'll be fine."

Lana sniffed and sighed. She sobbed several times.

Franz kissed her on the cheek lightly. "Let me go bake you something sweet." He walked out.

Lana looked after him and smiled sadly.

Redd emerged from the shed to see an eager Franz hand Lana a chocolate cupcake.

He looked down at the ground, forlorn. He stepped outside to the grass.

Janina was lying on the ground, sunbathing.

Redd knelt down next to her. He stared at her disappointedly.

Janina returned his gaze with an ashamed expression.

"You did it." He whispered. "You voted. For Aquamara."

Janina nodded solemnly.

"You couldn't stand it, could you?" Redd asked. "You couldn't stand the fact that the guy who you love, me, hooked up with another girl. You tried to be nice, but you just couldn't take it. You just had to get rid of her. I have to admit, I'm disappointed. And even though I sound like one of those windbag teachers lecturing a student, I'm just being honest here."

Janina sat back and shook her head, ashamed.

Redd looked her in the eye. "No girl has ever like me before this show, where now two girls like me. Must say I'm flattered... but if someone took Aquamara from me, I can't say I wouldn't do the same. I don't blame you, but I am disappointed. If anyone else did this to me, I would be furious. But, because you're cute, I'll let this go. Allies?"

Janina nodded silently.

Redd looked back at the ocean and thought of Aquamara with regret. Thinking he could've saved her from elimination. He sat on the tile floor and looked toward the clouds.

Janina looked into the distance with remorse.

"Janina and I are obviously the minority." Redd mumbled in confessional. "Unless we can get Franz or Lana on our side, we're not going to do so well. Best chance is winning immunity every challenge from now on. Like that'll happen... If we can just make it past this week, we'll at least have a fighting chance. If only Franz would see that Jena isn't trustworthy. She reeks of evil as much as I reek of armpit, and my fear of water prevents me from showering. I mean, the girl actually sabotaged Katt and Evi, a fellow couple. I'll have to talk to him sometime, if I ever get the chance." He shook his head and sighed.

The contestants met Chris on the beach for the challenge.

Four individual planes sat behind the pompous host.

"Welcome compeititors!" Chris greeted. "Today, we have an old hobby here for those tourists: air tours!"

The contestant's eyes widened.

"The twist?" Chris cooed. "You are the pilots! Each of you final fivers will have to fly to the city of Paradise and find the tall tower in the middle of the city. Pull off a perfect landing just between it and the city fountain, and you win immunity. Sound easy enough?"

Janina was biting her fingernails, fearing for dear life.

Redd was relieved, having avoided a water challenge yet again.

Lana was still bawling, with Franz coaxing her distractedly.

Jena began to sweat uncharistically. "Personally, I perfer the ground."

Redd smirked at her. "It's called karma, you little animal."

Jena grimaced. "What, a girl can't be evil and have a fear of heights?"

Chris chuckled. "Wow... this is getting good."

The final five got into their seperate planes.

The planes took off.

Lana was still sniffling, but making it through the air.

Franz stuck close to Lana, making sure she didn't have a repeat of the previous challenge.

Jena was muttering various prayers and trying to win desperately.

Redd soon passed ahead of her and yelled back a rude comment, "Wow, looks like you're not so perfect, princess!"

Lana began to gain focus and located the tower eventually.

Franz smiled. "Good job, Lana!" He followed her to the finish.

Janina was flailing around, trying to retain remote control of the plane.

Lana and Franz were stopped short of the finish by a commercial blimp.

They slowly and carefully dove down and below the blimp.

Redd swerved to the left and crashed through an apartment window. He crashed through the kitchen and living room before coming out the other side. He was now in the lead.

Janina glided downwards and nearly hit several pedestrians on her way.

Jena began to panic and actually landed on the ground. She slowly used the wheels on the bottom of the plane to make it across.

Lana and Franz eventually made it across and joined Redd and Janina.

Jena slowly made it across and got back into the air.

Redd looked around and pulled up next to Janina. "See the tower anywhere?"

Janina shook her head and looked around.

Lana and Franz pulled ahead of the two and headed for the tower.

Lana pointed ahead at the finish.

Franz beamed. "See, Lana? Aren't things better when you...react?"

Lana nodded softly and rested her head on the control panel.

Janina pointed ahead and motioned for Redd to follow her.

Janina turned so she was behind Lana, following her to the finish.

Redd got behind them, heading for the tower.

Jena slowly pulled ahead of the four, having located the tower.

Janina carefully manuvered between the others to get ahead.

Franz frowned. "Lana, go a little faster!"

Lana sighed and attempted to pull ahead of Janina, but failed.

Redd stayed in last place, unable to get ahead.

Jena was about to pass ahead of Janina when she was bumped aside by her. "Watch where you're going, freakshow!"

Redd eventually pulled ahead of Lana and Franz to be just behind of Janina.

Jena flicked a suspicious-looking lever and sped ahead to beat Janina. She landed at the designated spot.

Redd scowled and face-palmed.

The other four compeititors landed beside Jena.

Chris came out of a nearby building with an ice cream cone in his hand. "Huh?" He muttered. "Oh, right, you guys. Well, I guess Jena wins invincibility and the rest of you are up for elimination tonight."

Jena smirked at Redd. "Franz, Lana. Come with me."

Franz and Lana halfheartedly dragged themselves over to her.

Janina smiled negatively at Redd.

"This vote is totally in my hands." Jena bragged in confessional. "With Franz, Lana, and I the majority, I'll make sure that my pick is riding the loser bus tonight. Bye-bye, Redd." Jena chuckled smugly.

"So what if this is the last day I'm going to spend here?" Redd scoffed in confessional. "It's not like I'm not going to try and hope for a miracle. Though, Franz voting for Lana is extremely unrealistic, and vice versa." Redd sighed and rested his hand on his cheek.

The final five sat awkwardly and angrily at elimination.

Chris smirked at the teens. "Wow, I have never seen such a straightforward elimination." He sighed tiredly. "Jena, come get your seashell. Janina, Lana, come over here." Chris was obviously bored at this obvious elimination.

Jena rolled her eyes at Chris and claimed her prize.

Janina trudged up sadly.

Lana walked up neutrally.

"Redd. Franz. I think we don't really need this part. But, anyway..."

Redd stared forward with an angry expression, muttering curses.

Franz waved happily at Lana, completely relaxed.

"The final seashell goes to the obvious player...













...Redd..."

Redd stood up and began to leave when he realized what had just happened. "What the hell...?"

Chris' eyes widened as he sifted through the votes and looked over Franz, Jena, and Lana.

Franz's jaw dropped. He glared at Jena.

To his surprise, Jena was as shocked as him. She looked around, unable to comprehend the last few minutes of the compeition.

Janina beamed and hugged Redd earnestly.

Franz sighed and began to pack when he made eye contact with Lana.

Lana was the only player not surprised or dazed. She sniffed and looked sadly at him. "How stupid am I...?" She murmured. "I get a boyfriend after the break-up, and I'm still not over the jerk who tore my heart apart. Then, I go and vote off the guy trying to get me through it."

Franz gasped and shook his head discouragedly. He silently waltzed up to the bus and left the beach with a broken heart.

Redd smiled sheepishly at Franz on his way out.

Jena grimaced at Lana.

"Wow... when did this thing get so sad?" Chris closed. "Tune in next time for more Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 15- 20,000 Leagues Above The Sea

Chris was seen lying on a lounge chair on the front deck of a boat, sipping from a coconut and wearing sunglasses.

Phil and Daimion were heard screaming off-screen.

Chris frowned and took off his shades. "Look, if you want to keep this job, you're going to have to test some gnarly challenges. But I don't mind taking away that college credit you so desperately need." Chris smirked and chuckled.

Phil and Daimion were shown hanging from a wooden post on a raft, with sharks circling around them.

"This can't be legal!" Daimion shouted to Chris.

"If you haven't noticed," Chris snorted. "Making unlisenced teens drive racecars and planes isn't legal, either. This show is a crime..." Chris guffawed.

A shark snapped up at the interns, but failed to grab them.

Phil's eyes widened and he began panting.

"Don't worry!" Chris called. "They can't jump high enough to reach you!"

Daimion scowled. "So, we're stuck up here until you feel like cutting us down?"

"Or the rope snaps." Chris sighed.

Phil began jerking about, yelling prayers.

Chris sat back. "Well, I got a whole day to kill before they get done." He chortled. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach, the contestants were thrown into the skies with a plane-racing challenge. As Jena proved to be not who she makes us believe when her fear showed through. Redd confronted Janina about her envious feelings for Aquamara. Meanwhile, Lana had a huge change of heart, and is actually starting to react. Weird, huh? With Franz's encouragement, Lana was able to confess her feelings about her ex. Jena took immunity yet again, and her alliance was set to vote off Redd. But, Lana went and pushed her only lover away by voting him off. Apparently, the girl's still recovering from that Aaron kid. Franz was sent packing. What will happen this time on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!"

Jena was shown sitting irritatedly on a couch, staring at the television in front of her.

"Lady Googoo does a duet with Dustin Believer!" A male voice announced. "She is seen disinfecting her tongue and claiming all rights to the song afterwards. It will not be released. Dustin also reports that Googoo has been diagnosed insane and just plain weird."

Jena stared at the reporter with an awkward face. "First, she wears her raw meat bikini in a lake and gets bitten by a shark. Now, this?"

"This is ridiculous." Jena mumbled in confessional. "Why in the world would Lana vote for Franz? She's turned my, I mean, our monopoly into a tied vote. If the tiebreaker is anything like the past few challenges, I'm sure either of us could win, especially now that Lana is trying. One slip-up and could mean the end for me. Next elimination, I'll make sure Redd goes home on the loser bus."

Lana was lying forlornly on a tup bunk in the shed. She kept her gaze on the roof, as it steadily leaked raindrops on her forehead. She sighed deeply and shook her head. "Wow." She thought aloud to herself. "How much of an idiot am I? After almost six months, I'm still not over Aaron. Franz was just trying to help, and I get rid of him. Now I'm left here to lose this game and go back to a miserable life at home. There's always Darceline, though... I feel so sorry for her. Having to put up with me, the idiot. Ugh, what am I supposed to do...?"

Redd and Janina were shown across the room, sitting on a bottom bunk.

"She does know we're right here, right?" Redd whispered.

Janina shrugged.

Redd sighed and rested his head on his knee. "When did this turn into one of those sad Total Drama moments? I'd rather have Owen be bounding around as a screen hog, using bathroom jokes."

Janina nodded and sighed. She took out a drawing of Redd and her in an anime style.

Redd looked over at the notepad. "That's disturbing." He mumbled.

"The only reason I was saved last night was because Lana messed up." Redd stated in confessional. "If it wasn't for those teenage girl hormones, I'd be sitting at home, right now. Probably setting something on fire..." He took out a lighter and lit a small flame. He stared into it, desperate for a cheerful sight. "Ugh, how much is left of this stupid compeition, anyway? I just want out, but I want to leave victoriously. Ugh, how much battery does that thing have anyway?" He glared directly at the camera.

Janina was seen in confessional, awkwardly. She poked the camera until it fell over. She bent over, obviously wondering why she was in there in the first place.

The final four met Chris at the beach for the challenge.

"Welcome, final four!" Chris greeted. "Today's challenge consists of a little ocean action..." He chuckled and waited for Redd's reaction.

Redd blushed and began to sweat out of nervousness.

Jena smirked smugly.

Chris motioned to four boats docked at the shore. "Each of you will captain a boat. Each boat is armed with five cannons. One on the left side, one on the right side, and one in the front."

"You mean port and starboard?" Jena corrected.

"Who are you, Aquamara?" Chris teased. "Take out your opponents' boats until you're the only one left and you win a special prize."

Janina stared at Chris suspiciously.

Redd and Jena rolled their eyes.

"It's probably Chris McLean hair gel." Jena mumbled.

"And...go!" Chris called.

The four hopped into their boats and set off for the sea.

Redd was in the captain's quarters, palms moist with sweat. He was driving the boat away from the others.

"It's just a boat." He panted to himself. "These things are meant to keep you from hitting the water and drowning in a soaking mess of screams. What if there's sharks? Or eels? Or..." His voice trailed off.

Jena was seen crudely driving her boat, nearing Janina and Lana. She lightly bumped into Lana.

Lana glared at Jena. "Wow, how mature." She remarked in complete deadpan.

Jena glared back. "I liked you more as a boring lump."

Lana smirked and shot the two starboard cannons at Jena's ship.

Jena ducked as the cannonballs fell through the window of the room and hit the floor, causing a leak.

Jena mumbled regretfully.

Her boat began to go down.

Redd smugly chuckled at the sight of Jena sinking.

Jena gave Redd a death glare.

Janina was meanwhile keeping her distance from the others. She was lying leisurely on the captain's chair, staring at the control panel. She spotted something that resembled a radio. She reached for the knob and turned it slowly.

"California Chicks, we're unreliable! Never worked a day in our lives!" The radio roared.

Janina chuckled and nodded her head to the tune.

Jena was seen rapidly sinking.

Redd was playing with a lighter, rolling the flame around. He looked around the room and saw a vial filled with a suspicious-looking fluid. He eyed his lighter. "Flammable...?" He mumbled. He walked over and saw the label on the vial. "Nitroglycerin. I've heard of this stuff..." He smirked. He poured a bit of the nitroglycerin onto the control panel and lit it with the lighter.

Lana's entire boat was knocked away a few yards by the explosion that destroyed Redd's.

Jena was seen running for a raft before the boat tipped over. She slid through the dock and splashed into the water. She grabbed onto a loose piece of railing and began to float over the calm sea. "This is pathetic..." She murmured. She floated close enough to see Phil and Daimion dangling from the post. She squinted over, obviously confused at the sight.

Redd interrupted her by landing in a burnt mess, grasping a piece of wood. He began panting and sunk into the water.

Jena witnessed Redd flailing around in the water, screaming.

Redd climbed onto the piece of wood, soaking wet and panting, panicking.

"Are you okay?" Jena cackled.

Redd continued to pant. "Yeah. Just swallowed some seawater." He burped in Jena's face.

Jena rolled her eyes. She pulled a pack of breath mints out of her pocket and handed it to Redd. "You need this more than I do." She paddled away.

"Real nice!" Redd retorted sarcastically. He began to slip back into the water and shrieked.

Janina was seen still listening to music in her captain's chair.

"I'm in love with Rufus..." The radio sang. "Rufus! Ru-ufus! Rufus! Ru-ufus!"

Lana rammed into her boat, still being blown back by the explosion.

Janina was knocked out of the captain' chair and hit the knob, turning it clockwise 180 degrees.

"Nyan, nyan, nyan, nyan, nyan!" The radio meowed.

Janina got up and glared at Lana.

Lana blushed and waved silently. "Sorry. It's just the whole explosion from that other boat blew me back and..."

Janina simply aimed her cannons at the front deck of Lana's ship and fired.

Lana dove her boat back, missing the shot.

Janina scowled and shot several cannonballs at Lana, one after another.

Lana continued to dodge by any possible means.

Five minutes later, Janina ran out of ammo.

She blushed and face-palmed.

Lana simply smirked and shot a cannonball straight into the front deck of Janina's ship.

Janina's boat began to sink just as Jena's did.

Chris showed up in the same ship from his intro earlier just after Janina hit the water. "Looks like Lana gets immunity, and the special prize." Chris once again chuckled.

A life preserver scooped up Jena, Redd, and Janina and put them on Chris' boat.

"What's the special reward?" Redd grunted. "A ticket to Chris World? Something to stir up the drama?"

Chris ignored him and docked.

Lana followed and went up to Chris after they were on land.

"What's my reward?" She asked eagerly.

Jena rolled her eyes. "Just give her the hair gel."

Chris smirked. "Lana gets to single-handedly eliminate the person of her choosing."

The three up for elimination gasped.

"Choose Redd, Lana! Make up for yesterday!" Jena ordered.

"Choose Jena! She's evil!" Redd remarked.

Janina simply stared at Lana with pleading eyes.

"Well... take your pick." Chris motioned for Lana.

Lana put her pointer finger on her chin and observed the three contestants.

"Well, Redd's fear of water make him weak in challenges like this one." She murmured.

Redd relaxed.

"Then again, Jena would completely suck in jury because no one really likes her." Lana sighed.

Jena faked a smile and sighed in relief.

"And Janina barely talks to anyone at all." Lana thought aloud.

"Lana." Chris scolded. "We don't have all day for this."

Lana nodded. "I choose to eliminate...














...Janina."

Janina gasped and frowned.

"I'm sorry." Lana mumbled. "I just don't really think I'll lose to the guy who literally blew his chances in the challenge and little miss demon."

"Hey!" Jena and Redd called simulteanously.

The bus pulled up close behind them.

Janina moped over to the bus. She stopped and kissed Redd. "Sorry. I just had to do that."

Redd looked dazed. "She's pretty outgoing for a social outcast... and a great kisser."

Jena rolled her eyes. "Oh, brother..."

Janina climbed onto the bus and waved back at Redd.

A boy with black hair and a leather jacket was sitting next to Janina.

Janina eyed him suspiciously. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw "Lana" tattooed to his shoulder.

"And Lana gets an extra treat." Chris snickered. "We've brought in a little treat from home."

Lana beamed. "Mom? Dad? My cousin, Shawn?"

The boy who Janina met stepped off. "Hey there... Lana." He was obviously confused by her appearence.

Lana's face froze as she fainted to the ground.

Jena and Redd walked away innocently.

"That's it for this rather odd episode of Total Drama." Chris closed. "Tune in for more hilarity on Total...Drama...Paradise Beach!" He eyed Lana and Aaron. "Ever feel like you're forgetting something?"

Phil and Daimion were shown still hanging from the post above the sharks in moonlight. Phil was snoring.

Daimion looked up at the rope.

The rope snapped and the two useless interns fell in.

Chris shrugged and sighed relaxedly.

Chapter 16- I Kicked A Girl And I Liked It

Chris was seen in a dim room lit by a cozy fireplace. He wore a nightgown and loafers, sitting in a bright red chair. A box of multicolored letters sat by him. A plump housecat sat in his lap, purring quietly. "Hey there." He greeted in a seductive voice. "Just having a relaxing night by the fireplace with ol' Fluffy." He eyed the box of letters. "Ooh, could this be some fan mail? I wonder who for." He picked up a red envelope. "This one's for... Redd." His smile dropped. He tossed it out aside and took out a letter with a black envelope. "This one's for... Lana." He scowled and tossed it aside. He frustratedly took out a yellow envelope. "This one must be for me. ...And it's for Jena." He kneeled down, noticing that each letter was either black, red, or yellow. "They went to the trouble of color-coding the letters?!" He dug around, tossing the letters across the floor.

The cat growled and struted away.

Chris stared into the now-empty box. He mumbled profanities and looked over at the camera. "Well, since the crew sent in the wrong box of fan letters, I guess we'll have to ax this little fan mail thing." He glared to the side. "Last time on Total Drama: Paradise Beach," He began. "The final four participated in a water challenge, bringing out Redd's greatest fears. When her three opponents cracked under the pressure, Lana was left with a game-changing decision: Choosing the next voted out. She chose Janina, who is currently residing at our losers' resort. Redd and Jena continue to quarrel, and we brought in a special treat just for Lana: her ex-boyfriend. Wow, I wonder how Franz feels..." Chris chuckled. "What will happen from the unexpected visit from a not-so-loved one? Find out right now on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Jena was seen in confessional, aggressively filing her nails. "It's pretty obvious that I'm not a people person. But I thought my alliance could at least follow orders. Especially Lana. I tell her twice to vote off Redd. A simple request. And what does she do? Vote off our ally and... Janina, who was definately not a threat. I'm pretty sure that if I don't win today, I'm out. Either one of those idiots would fail to realize that they could beat me in a vote. I hate to admit it, but I think I actually have a better chance against Lana than Redd in the final two, especially Lana just happens to have an emotional breakdown because of her little ex." Jena smirked and chuckled sadistically.

Redd was seen laying on a couch watching TV, holding a piece of pizza. He sighed relaxedly, took a bite, and burped contently.

Jena walked up to him. "And just what do you think you're doing?" She demanded.

"...Relaxing?" Redd chuckled matter-of-factly. "I can't spend my first day in the beach house for like a week in peace?"

Jena glanced to the side. "I hate sharing the beach house." She mumbled. "Can you get off? You getting the smell of..." She shuddered. "..dude all over the seat."

Redd rolled his eyes. "If the smell of 'dude' keeps you off this thing, then I'm even more inclined to stay put." Redd said, putting air quotes around 'dude.'

"Don't you act all superior to me." Jena scolded.

"When did you turn into my wife?" Redd scoffed.

Jena rolled her eyes. "Sure you aren't thinking of Aquamara?" She continued to rant.

Redd took out a myPod and put the earbuds into his ears. He nodded absently at Jena's scolding.

Aaron came in the back door, carrying an unconsious Lana in his hands. His knees were weakening, presumably due to her weight. "Oh, screw this!" He yelled and threw her onto the floor.

Lana was scared awake. She looked around, fazed. "What happened? Where am I? How'd I get here?"

Aaron chuckled. "There's the ditzy girl I know and love. I don't know why you're in this place or why you signed up for this, but I know you've put on twenty pounds since we broke up."

Lana blushed and looked away. "Um, Aaron." She stammered. "You really shouldn't be here. I mean, we broke up a long time ago and... I'm so not over you yet."

Aaron chuckled and shook his head. "Wow, you're messed up." He looked over at Redd and Jena. "And what do we have here?"

Redd looked to the side. "Oh, gosh."

Jena rolled her eyes. "How pleasant." She groaned sarcastically.

"Your compeition, eh?" Aaron cooned. "How interesting."

Jena smirked. "Any secrets about Lana you want to share?" She asked.

"You really think I'm stupid enough to let Lana lose?" Aaron remarked.

Jena chuckled smugly. "You've already made her lose by showing your face here."

Aaron smirked and kicked Jena in the shin. "I kicked a girl... and I liked it." He laughed.

Jena clutched her shin and jumped up and down. "How gentleman-like..."

Aaron turned to Redd. "What's up with you?" He scoffed.

Redd rolled his eyes. "Don't even try it, you mascara-wearing, egoistic, bipolar freakazoid."

Aaron ignored him and turned to Lana. "Come meet me in your room. We've got much to discuss."

Aaron and Lana went to her room, Lana dazed.

Jena shook her head. "Since when is it a good thing to put two flames in a room alone... with a bed, at that?"

Redd shrugged and shook his head.

Aaron and Lana were seen in Lana's bedroom.

Aaron sat down on one of the beds, and motioned for Lana to join him.

Lana blushed and reluctantly sat down next to him.

"Listen, Lana." Aaron sighed. "I've left a huge trail of broken hearts throughout my life, and you're no exception. Sure, a lot of the girls go into a deep, dark depression for two weeks, maybe even a month, but they don't turn into..." He lookd at Lana and shuddered. "...This."

Lana looked at her stomach and arms. She blushed. "Listen, Aaron..."

Aaron covered up her mouth. "Shush, princess. I have everything you could ever need. A shoulder to cry on, and someone to love. So, just for you, I'm willing to give you one more go at me. One more chance to get it right."

"Aaron, I've kind of had a little luck in the love department here in the compeition." Lana explained. "As in, this guy sort of likes me."

"Trying to put up a little rouse, eh?" Aaron snickered. "No need, Lana. I know you want me back, and that's that. Just let it go. Come on, gimme a hug."

Lana rolled her eyes and scowled. "No good has ever come of dating you. I'm glad I joined this game, because now I finally realize that I can do well without you and manage perfectly fine."

"What are you saying?" Aaron quivered.

"I'm saying that I'm over you." Lana stated. "You have until the count of three to get out of my life or I'll push you out."

Aaron shook his head. "Lana, you're not seriously still on this?"

Lana smirked. "One, two, three." She slapped Aaron across the face, leaving a red mark shaped like her hand.

Aaron clutched his cheek in pain and moaned. "Fine, then, buttercup. But you'll regret one day. Not today... but someday." He walked outside the bedroom to be greeted by a kick to the groin by Jena.

Jena cackled amusedly. "I kicked a guy. And you bet I liked it."

Aaron stumbled toward the door in pain.

Redd put his hand on Aaron's shoulder. "It's okay, bro."

Aaron looked over at Redd and smiled.

Redd smirked. "But, seriously, get out of here before Lana and Jena literally take away all your manliness." He pushed Aaron to the ground.

Aaron got up and painfully left the beach house. Once outside, he yelled, "I have no ride!"

"Figure it out!" Lana yelled back from inside.

Aaron groaned.

The contestants met Chris at the beach for the challenge. A tall platform built of metal beams was behind him.

The final three stared amazedly at the structure.

"That cannot be safe." Jena complained.

"Since when is this show safe?" Chris chuckled.

Jena rolled her eyes and put on a frustrated face.

Redd sighed exasperatedly. "Can we just start the stupid challenge?"

"Right after we get Aaron out of here." Chris explained.

The bus pulled up beside him.

Chris looked around. "Where's Aaron...?"

Lana whistled innocently and smirked. "He'll be fine."

Chris looked at Lana worriedly. "Anyway... to the challenge."

The camera zoomed into the platform, revealing that it had stairs leading to the top.

"A common activity for tourists is fencing, often atop tall platforms that a fall from can kill you." Chris explained. "So, your challenge today is a classic fencing face-off on this very platform. First person to fall down from the tall beauty will be automatically eliminated. No seashells, no elimination ceremony, no nothing."

Redd's eyes widened.

Jena nodded smugly.

Lana sighed deeply.

Chris tossed fencing gear to the contestants: masks, sword, and padding. "Put those on." He ordered. "The challenge starts in ten minutes. Be prepared." Chris laughed evilly.

The final three stared at Chris with awkward faces and went to put their gear on.

Redd, Jena, and Lana later arrived back at the beach for the challenge, ready to fight.

Chris motioned for the contestants to climb the stairs.

"This'll be delightful." Jena scoffed sarcastically. "Two people who hate me poking me with swords. Fun."

Redd smirked and chuckled. "The swords'll hurt, I'm sure."

Jena glared at him.

The three contestants were seen on the platform, getting ready to duel.

"Time to kick some butt." Lana murmured.

Redd exchanged glances with the girls, determined to win the challenge.

Jena smirked and chuckled smugly.

"And... begin!" Chris called.

Redd and Jena immediately charged at each other, causing their swords to clash.

"If you think I'm going to let you get a free pass to the final two..." Jena panted. "...You've got another thing coming."

Redd glared at her. "How are you so sure you'll win this thing? Everyone pretty much hates you, like Lana said. No one'll vote for you to win."

Jena rolled her eyes. "How are you so sure the last challenge'll be a vote? Besides, even if it is, people respect power."

Redd struggled to maintain his balance as Jena worked him closer and closer to the edge.

Jena chuckled deviously and knocked Redd to the floor, needing only a single swing to send him over the edge.

"Any last words?" She mused.

Lana charged up to Jena and hit her directly in the chest, giving Redd an opportunity to regain his focus.

Redd stood up and took a wild swing at Lana.

Lana swiftly ducked.

Redd looked around and spotted Jena disoriented. "I'm pretty sure you just saved me from defeat, Lana." He sighed. "Thanks, I guess."

Lana gave a half-smile as Jena struck at her knee.

Jena smirked and continued to hit Lana.

Lana stumbled back and regained her momentum. She smacked Jena with her sword, ready to defeat her.

Jena shrieked as she struggled to maintain her balance.

Lana hit Redd directly in the chest, making him stumble back.

Redd grunted. "You saved me just to strike me down later?"

Lan ignored his comment and struck at him again.

Jena regained her confidence and sharply hit Lana in the side.

Lana moaned in pain as Jena continued to hit her.

Jena recklessly struck at Lana, working her farther toward third place.

Lana blocked many of Jena's shots, but still had to back up to avoid a direct confrontation.

Jena know had Lana on the edge of the platform.

"Never though it'd end like this, Lana." She cackled.

Lana chuckled nervously. "Jena, don't you think you can take me to the final two? You know, a pity act?"

Jena put her hand to her cheek and smirked. She knocked Lana off the edge.

Lana hung onto the edge of the platform, pleading, "Jena, please. Just eliminate Redd. Let me into the finals."

Jena put her foot near Jena's fingers and pondered this proposal. "Interesting."

Lana smiled slightly.

Jena put her foot up and...













...kicked Lana off the edge of the platform, and into the sand on the ground.

Redd scurried over to Jena, looking down at the beach below them. "I kind of feel sorry for her." He murmured. "...Kind of."

Jena rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "Looks like that's over with."

Lana hit the ground with a thud and groaned.

Chris trudged up to her, kicking her in the side. "Is she dead?" He whispered to himself.

Lana slowly got up, aching.

Redd and Jena were shown running down the stairs of the platform to see Lana's departure.

"There are our finalists!" Chris exclaimed. "You're just in time to see Lana go home on the loser bus." He chuckled sadistically.

The bus pulled up behind the four.

Lana gave a half-smile and confidently approached the bus.

"So maybe I didn't walk away from this with a million dollars." Lana reasoned in confessional. "This compeition helped me find myself. Before this, I was a heartbroken emo chick who wore way too much black lipstick. Now, my heart is finally whole again after formally dumping Aaron from my life. Besides, it's not like I don't have anything waiting for me back home. I have Darceline, mom, dad... and Franz, if he decides to take me back." She shrugged halfheartedly.

Lana was seen boarding the bus with luggage in hand. She waved back well-wishingly at Redd and Lana.

Redd waved back eagerly, while Jena turned away rudely.

Chris waved carelessly to Lana as the bus drove away. He uncomfortably put his arms around the final two. "And we have our final two!" He closed. "Tune in next time to see who goes home empty-handed and who walks away with one! Million! Dollars! Next time on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Chapter 17- It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Beach

Chris was shown lying asleep on his bed, clutching a light brown teddy bear, drool spouting from his mouth. He was snoring loudly. An alarm clock sat on a nightstool beside him, ticking away to its timer. A calander was hanging above the bed, with that day's date circled and an arrow pointing to it, reading "Payday Finale."

The alarm clock rang loudly, buzzing.

Chris stirred in his sleep, mumbling indistinctly. He banging his left hand against the bed's railing, making the wall shake. The calander fell off the wall and hit him in the face. Chris woke with a start, flailing around, alarmed. He sighed absently and looked over at the calander. He grinned when he noticed the date. "Today's the day, Chris." He cheered to himself. "The day you get paid for putting up with immature teenagers and annoying interns." He noticed the camera beside the bed. "I mean, um... the day we crown the winner of Total Drama: Paradise Beach. Last time on our semifinal episode, Lana faced Aaron directly, and walked away a changed person. The challenge brought out our final three's nasty sides, especially for Jena, who managed to eliminate Lana and get herself a spot in the final two. Now, she and Redd go head-to-head, in our most dramatic episode yet! 'Magic', Darceline, Ariana, Drake, Kamron, N, Rosi, Luther, Lynetta, Perci, Katt, Evi, Aquamara, Franz, Janina, and Lana are all coming back to cheer for the finalist of their choosing. Who will lose? And who will walk away with one... million... dollars! It's finale time right here on Total... Drama... Paradise Beach!"

Jena was seen lying in her bed, sleeping peacefully. She had her hair curled and was wearing a black leather shirt and jeans. She awoke and began singing in a strangely autotuned voice. "Wake up in the morning, feeling like D Piddy." She sang. "Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city."

Jena was shown mumbling the lyrics, still asleep, wearing regular sleepwear. She awoke and mumbled, "Why do I keep having that dream?" She smiled, lying awake in her bedroom. "Today's the day, Jena. The day you finally get to claim your prize after days of putting up with idiotic allies and just as idiotic adversaries. After I beat Redd in... whatever Chris has in store, I'll be the richest celebrity on the planet. You know, after all the other ones are taken care of..." She took out her notepad and flipped through it. "I think I'll start by taking out Taylor Shift with that rumor about the stolen guitar." Jena chuckled devillishly and got out of bed, ready to win the grand prize.

Redd was seen standing on a balcony on the upper story of the beach house, staring out at the sea. "I'm so close to winning the money." He thought aloud to himself. "But that's not why I came here. I came here to conquer my fear of water. Even with Aquamara's help, I'm still too weak to do that." He looked down. "Aquamara... If I don't see her before going home, empty-handed or rich, I'll never see her again. But, I have to make sure I live up to her expectations, wherever she may be. There's no sense in going home without achieving my goal. Today, no matter what happens with Jena, I walk away knowing that I succeeded." He walked back into the beach house and exited out the back door.

Redd was shown hopping the fence between the beach house and the shed and running across the beach. He stared into the water, not sure of what to do. Redd shook his head. "I can't do this." He turned away, walking back to the beach house, panting and high-strung. "I can't walk away from this, I just can't..." He told himself. "Okay, okay..." He slowly paced over of the water, trembling. "This is going to take bravery... but I'm going in..." He leaped into the water, feeling content.

Redd was shown going back into the beach house with a pleasant expression, obviously feeling accomplished. He sat down at the table, ready to take on the day.

Jena came out of her bedroom, still in her pajamas, and sat down next to Redd. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

Redd ignored her and began to pick at his breakfast. "Nothing much."

Jena noticed that Redd's clothes were soaked. "Conquer your ridiculous fear of water?" She cooed sarcastically. "What an accomplishment."

Redd rolled his eyes at her. "Said the girl who takes out her aggression by ruining other people's lives. How pleasant."

Jena blushed and shrugged off his comment. "You don't even know the cause of my 'aggression.' Trust me, I have a speech that'll win over anyone of the contestants, no matter what I've done to them."

"Really?" Redd scoffed. "Even Katt and Evi? What about Kamron? He surely told Ariana that you orchestrated her elimination. Aquamara and Perci don't really like you, either. Does anyone?"

Jena but her lip. "Like you would ever win. You crushed Janina's heart, the girl who wanted to find love after years of dealing with people like me. Lana and Franz would probably stay loyal to me, as well."

"And of course you're so confident in that." Redd retorted. "They only joined your alliance out of pity and desperation. They'll vote for you as soon as Chris stops loving himself."

Jena rolled her eyes. "Like I need to sit here, arguing with a complete idiot. I'll see you in the audience, when I become the main event." Jena stood up and walked away.

Redd scowled and began to munch on his meal.

The finalists met Chris on the beach for the challenge.

"Welcome, final two! To the ultimate battle to decide the winner of what you all came here for: one million dollars. Now, let's bring out some old friends." Chris announced.

The bus pulled up, and the sixteen other contestants spilled out.

"You both have chances to make speeches before these losers pick sides." Chris explained. "When you're done, we'll start the challenge." He smirked.

Jena shoved Redd aside. "Move over, jelly bean." She whispered to him. "It's time to win this game."

Redd scowled and rolled his eyes.

Jena stepped up to the sixteen losers.

Many of the eliminated players frowned and shook their heads at her.

Katt and Evi mumbled curses at her.

Jena sighed deeply and wiped a false tear from her soulful eye. "I know I've been kind of a villain to all of you in this compeition, but you have to understand me." She sobbed fakely. "I was born into a family with an older sister who absolutely tormented me. Think waking up everyday knowing you'll be beat up several times at school because of a rumor that you 'eat rabbit meat.' Going home'll be better, right? Think again. Home is the lion's den. Where my sister lies waiting to tell me about the new rumor she's ready to spread. Think about doing that for thirteen long years. Then, finally, you come home and see her kissing a poster of her best friend's boyfriend. What do you do? Use it to turn the tables, of course. After that, I had to create a hostile takeover to survive. I rule the town now. I'm living the good life. But Samantha can take that away with what I did on this show. So, please, if I can just leave with some cash, my life won't be ruined. Please, support me to win and I'll be forever in your debt."

Some of the players' expression softened.

Katt smiled sypathetically.

Jena sobbed falsely and walked away. "Nailed it..." She whispered to Redd as she sat down on the sand.

Redd glared over at her and approached the contestants. "I think that I'll leave the choice up to you, but why should you pick me? Easy. Jena has done nothing but deceive and humiliate all of you. Do you want to let the bad guy win? Of course not. Jena has sabotaged you." He stared at Katt and Evi. "Played your emotions." He looked at Lana and Franz. "I vote for me is a vote against evil. If Jena wins, we'll see her on TV, posters, being a rich little queen of the world, showing how unfair it all is. Vote for me, or let evil take over humanity." He stepped away, glaring at Jena.

Jena glared back.

Chris smirked. "Okay, 'Magic,' you're up. Who do you choose?" He motioned to two sets of bleachers behind the final two.

Jena and Redd looked to "Magic" for his desicion.

"Huzzah!" "Magic" called. "I choose Redd because the villain never wins in a magical story!" He sat down in Redd's section.

"Darceline?" Chris coaxed.

Darceline was standing next to Lana and Franz. She waved cheerfully at them and stepped up to the finalists. "Well, I can't really say I liked watching what Jena did to Lana. So, I just have to go with Redd." She sat down next to "Magic."

Redd smirked at Jena.

Ariana was seen holding Kamron's hand. She stepped up to the bleachers. "While Redd did really work for this, I respect Jena for being so strategic. And I also feel bad for her, based on her speech." She carefully sat down in Jena's section, careful not to ruin her clothing.

Drake stepped up. "I never really got to know either of you, or anything. But I'll support Redd because he's a guy, I guess."

"Sexist." Jena mumbled.

Drake ignored Jena's comment and sat down next to Darceline.

Kamron stepped up to the final two. "Jena. You may have eliminated my girlfriend, but ironically, that made me love her more that I would've had that not happened. So, I have to support you for bringing Ariana and I closer together." He sat down next to Ariana.

Ariana smiled and put her arm around Kamron.

Jena snickered at Redd.

N stumbled up to the final two. "Well, um... I kind of thought that that french guy and that scary blonde man would be the final two. So, um..." He stared blankly at the two. "Eenie, meenie..." He mumbled. "Jena?" He sat down in Jena's section, his weight making Kamron and Ariana fly off. He blushed.

"Rosi, come on up." Chris invited.

Rosi stepped up in her policewoman outfit. "Jena's habits are a total invasion of privacy. Then again, I have no idea how many things Redd has burned."

Redd blushed.

"But since Redd reminds me of stoplights, I'll go with him!" Rosi randomly proclaimed. She sat down beside Drake.

Luther stepped up. "Well, I never really knew any of you... So I'll let my football do the talking!" He averted his eyes and threw a football blindly ahead. It landed on N's groin.

N squealed in pain and dropped to the floor.

Luther looked up. "Jena it is then!" He sat on Jena's set of bleachers.

Lynetta stepped up. "Well, I have to say that neither of you deserve this. Redd burns down things for fun, and Jena ruins lives for fun. But right now it seems like Team Redd needs some intelligence on their side."

The contestants on Team Redd mumbled angrily.

Lynetta sat down next to Rosi.

Perci stepped up to the finalists. "Like either of you are worthy of my help or time. But Jena seems to have 'replaced' me in the place of the villain. Naturally, I have to show her who's boss." He sat down in Redd's section.

Jena glared at Perci.

Katt and Evi stepped up to the finalists.

"Jena was kind of mean to us in our final challenge." Katt murmured.

"But at least she has a reason to be that way." Evi replied. He glared at Perci.

Perci rolled his eyes.

Katt and Evi sat down in Jena's support section, without further explanation.

Aquamara stepped up to the finalists. She glared at Jena.

Redd blushed and grinned.

Aquamara beamed at him. "Of course, I'll support my little Reddy! ...Go die in a hole, Jena." She sat down beside Perci, glaring at him.

Franz stepped up to the finalists. "I have to say that I got to know Jena more than Redd. But Jena didn't really make a good impression on me..." He grimaced at her.

Jena frowned and shook her head angrily.

Franz continued, "Jena doesn't deserve this in anyway, so I must support Redd." He sat down in Redd's section.

Redd smirked at Jena.

Janina stepped up to the final two.

Jena sighed and shook her head. "Just pick the dude who broke your heart and picked a water freak over you. Save us some time."

Aquamara grumbled. "Water freak?!"

Janina blushed and silently and sat down beside Franz.

"And now our last voter before we start the challenge." Chris chuckled. "Lana, take your pick."

Lana put her finger on her chin and pondered the two options. "Well, Jena messed with my emotions and played me in my last challenge, but Redd never really seemed like that a nice guy."

Redd and Jena both anticipated her desicion.

Lana sighed deeply. "I decide to trust Darceline and Franz's judgement and root for Redd." She sat down next to Janina.

Darceline and Franz came over to Lana, putting her between them.

Lana blushed at Franz.

Darceline winked at her, and nudged her closer to Franz.

Franz beamed contently.

Redd grinned at his supporters.

"It's not like I can't still win." Jena mumbled.

Redd winked sadistically at her.

"Now it's time for your challenge." Chris snickered. He pointed to two jet skis parked at the shore. "Take your jet ski and race on the water until you reach that rock from that other challenge."

Many of the contestants nodded, remembering that challenge.

Luther frowned. "I got out that episode."

N put a hand on his shoulder.

"The first one there," Chris continued. "Will be crowned the winner of Total Drama: Paradise Beach."

Jena and Redd gave each other death glares.

"The person with the most supporters gets a special advantage." Chris explained. He pointed to Redd's jet ski, which contained a full tank of fuel, as opposed to Jena's halfway filled tank.

Jena sighed exasperatedly. "Can we start already?"

"Go ahead." Chris called. "The challenge begins... now!"

Jena and Redd sprinted into their jet skis and took off toward the rock.

Jena and Redd tore through the waves, speeding towards the finish.

Jena was seen watching her fuel level, which had dropped a bit since she started.

Redd looked behind him to see he had gotten into the lead, ahead of Jena.

Jena grunted. "Can't this stupid thing go any faster?!" She attempted to pass Redd, to no avail.

Redd smirked and continued to ride toward victory.

Chris was shown on shore, holding a remote with several bright crimson button on it. "Time to make things a little more interesting." He pressed the top left button.

Many of the contestants leaned forward to see what would happen.

Two interns were seen fishing in a quiet lake.

"Chris was so nice to give us the day off." The taller one sighed.

"I love to just fish all day, surrounded by peaceful, beautiful nature..." The shorter one replied.

They stopped to admire the natural beauty aound them. Their boat exploded into firey pieces shortly after, sending them under the water.

Many other interns were fishing in the lake, shrugging off what hand just happened, knowing it happens all the time.

Chris frowned. "I could've sworn I attached those explosives to the jet skis..." He pressed the other button rapidly.

The other boats rapidly exploded, leaving the lake a landfill of wreckage.

Chris was seen glaring at the remote. "Stupid defective bombs!" He threw the remote behind, hitting N's groin.

N moaned as he fell to the ground again. "How does that happen... twice?!" He coughed.

Jena was seen panting, trying to catch up to Redd.

Redd stared at the finish, confident of his ability to win.

Jena smirked and chuckled. She reached for the the opening of the fuel tank of Redd's jet ski. "Just a little closer..." She whispered. She opened up the fuel tank, making fuel spill out.

Redd's eyes widened as he saw the fuel gauge drop until it was the same level as Jena's.

Jena smirked as she caught up to Redd, making them neck-and-neck.

Redd grimaced as he attempted to regain his lead, but failed.

Jena and Redd were now a few yards from the rock, trying to beat the other to the finish.

"Should we tell them that they're heading straight for solid rock?" Franz pondered.

Many of the other contestants' eyes widened.

Jena and Redd were coming up on the finish quickly before...














...they both crashed into the rock at the same time.

Chris used binoculars to try to figure out the victor, to no avail.

Jena and Redd were lying exhausted next to each other, with the jet skis smoking beside them, blown to pieces.

Chris frowned. "Sheesh, we've been waiting nearly three weeks to declare a winner and they tie?!" He ran into a boat docked a few feet to the side, ready to meet Jena and Redd at the rock to decide what would happen.

The sixteen losers followed Chris into the boat.

Jena looked over at the boat heading toward her and Redd. "Looks like Chris is here with the slow-motion footage that crowns me the winner. Get ready to kiss your chance at the million good-bye."

Redd rolled his eyes. "If there's going to be anything proven, it's that I won this thing."

Chris docked next to the two, and called out to them. "How you doing, finalists?"

Jena and Redd grumbled annoyedly.

"Good." Chris cooned. "Because we don't have any way to figure out who just won."

Jena and Redd both groaned and moaned.

"So, it's time to prepare..." Chris paused. "The dreaded tiebreaker!"

Jena and Redd's eyes widened.

"Climb aboard the ship, and let's break a tie!" Chris invited. He dropped the gangplank.

Jena and Redd halfheartedly got up and got into the boat using the gangplank that Chris had dropped.

Chris lifted the gangplank and led the contestants over to the starboard deck.

"It's time for our little tiebreaker." Chris announced. He pointed to six targets set up right in two groups of three. "Each finalist will pick to helpers to wield the bows in the challenge. The helpers will shoot their arrows at the target. If it just so lands on the target, you get a point. You will do the final target yourselves. Whoever collects more points wins the million dollars." He smirked and pulled out the million dollar suitcase.

Redd and Jena both looked at the case with deep desire, practically drooling for it.

"Pick your helpers." Chris coaxed.

Aquamara was bounding up and down with her hand raised, wanting to be picked.

Redd blushed and pointed to her. "I pick Aquamara."

Aquamara cheered and ran up to Redd with a hug.

Redd blushed deeper. "And, um..."

A few other of Redd's supporters had their hands raised.

"...Janina." Redd chose.

Aquamara's grin dropped for a minute out of jealousy.

Janina beamed and scurried over to the couple.

Aquamara glared at her.

Janina blushed awkwardly, remaining quiet.

Jena scoffed. "Nice choices. Not dysfunctional at all."

Redd ignored her comment and sighed deeply.

"I pick..." Jena mumbled.

A few of Jena's supporters raised their hands.

"...Kamron." Jena decided.

Kamron let go of Ariana's hand and went over to Jena, ready to compete in her favor.

"...And..." Jena sighed. "...Katt, I suppose." She looked directly at the camera. "It's an opportunity for the author to show her unstable perfection which caused her to be eliminated a few chapters ago."

Katt nodded and let go of Evi's hand. She went up to Jena, showing off her author-given beauty.

"Of course she doesn't pick me..." Perci grumbled.

Jena rolled her eyes and pushed Perci off the boat.

Perci hit Jena's jet ski, causing it to go into reverse with him on it and speed back to the beach. He rammed into a trash can and fell into it. A garbage truck picked it up and tossed him into the carrier along with the other trash. The truck began to drive away before crashing off a cliff and into the water. Perci was heard screaming for his life as he fell.

"How does that happen?" Kamron murmured.

The contestants exchanged awe-strucken comments.

"Well, we've got our helpers." Chris continued. "It's time to begin the challenge. Aquamara, Kamron, you're up."

Aquamara and Kamron stepped up to their respective targets and prepared to shoot.

Redd and Jena waited in anticipation.

"Come on, Aquamara!" Redd encouraged. "You got this!"

"Do it right and I won't kill you!" Jena called to Kamron.

Aquamara shot the arrow just to the right of the bullseye.

Kamron awkwardly held up the bow and hit the edge of the target.

Jena and Redd both sighed in relief.

"One point each." Chris announced.

Aquamara and Kamron walked back to the people they were supporting.

"Go on, Janina..." Aquamara mumbled.

Kamron nodded shyly at Katt.

Ariana looked away somewhat jealously.

Janina and Katt stepped up to the targets, bows ready.

Katt struggled to get her aim correct, moving the bow around violently.

Janina aimed straight for the bullseye, quivering.

Katt shot the arrow two rings out from the bullseye.

Janina steadily shot the arrow in about the same place as Katt.

"That makes two points for each of you." Chris confirmed. "Now it's up to you two to finish the job."

Janina timidly walked back over to Redd.

Redd nodded. "It's up to me now."

Katt victoriously walked back over to Jena.

Jena looked at her with an annoyed expression.

"Frowning's not good for your complexion." Katt advised her.

Jena rolled her eyes and stepped to the target, her bow ready to win.

Redd sighed deeply and grabbed his bow with moist palms. He inched over to the target.

Jena and Redd pulled back and got ready to shoot.

"This is it..." Chris snickered. He held the million dollars up once more.

Aquamara and Janina leaned in to see if Redd would win the million.

Katt and Kamron were distracted by their lovers, barely paying attention to Jena.

"She's about to shoot." Evi whispered.

Many of Jena's supporters looked ahead.

All eyes were then on the final two.

Redd and Jena shot at the same time, the arrows bounding off the bows.

The arrows flew through the air briefly before...
















...Redd's hit the target on the outer ring and Jena's flew to the floor.

Redd jumped up and cheered.

Aquamara bolted up to Redd and hugged him tightly.

"We're millionaires!" She squealed.

Many of Redd's supporters cheered and surrounded him.

Jena's supporters stood around chatting awkwardly.

Ariana shrugged. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?" She took Kamron went over to celebrate with Redd's supporters.

The rest of Jena's supporters went over to celebrate, murmuring quietly.

Janina was shown sketching quietly, in the midst of the crowd. She was suddenly pushed down by an unsatisfied Jena.

Jena pushed her way past the crowd and approached Redd, grimacing.

The crowd fell silent.

Jena continued to grimace. "Congratulations." She sighed defeatedly. "You may have won the compeition, but you just lost the game!"

Redd turned red with anger and mumbled a profanity.

Many of the others mumbled, proclaiming they had lost as well.

Jena walked away with a smirk. "So I didn't win." She mumbled to herself. "I'm famous now. I can easily earn enough money to take a bath in now."

Redd shrugged. "She just made millions of viewers lose the game. She's not going to have that good a life."

Aquamara laughed.

Redd continued to cheer with the others.

Chris walked up to Redd and handed him the million dollar case.

Redd took the suitcase and popped it open, revealing the stacks of money inside. He beamed and continued to celebrate.

"That's it for this season!" Chris closed. "Redd is the winner of Total Drama: Paradise Beach! I'll see you next time right here with a whole new cast! Get ready for Total... Drama... Antarctica!"

Elimination Table

Contestant 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
Redd IN IN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN IN WIN WIN IN WIN LOW LOW IN WIN WINNER
Jena IN IN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN IN WIN WIN LOW WIN WIN WIN IN WIN RUNNER-UP
Lana IN LOW WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN IN WIN WIN WIN WIN IN IN WIN OUT
Janina IN WIN WIN WIN IN WIN WIN IN WIN IN IN WIN IN IN OUT
Franz IN WIN IN IN WIN IN IN IN IN WIN IN WIN IN OUT
Aquamara IN IN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN IN WIN WIN IN WIN OUT
Evi IN WIN WIN WIN IN WIN WIN IN WIN IN IN OUT
Katt IN WIN WIN WIN IN WIN WIN IN WIN LOW IN OUT
Perci IN WIN IN LOW WIN IN LOW IN LOW WIN OUT
Lynetta IN WIN WIN WIN LOW WIN WIN IN WIN OUT
Luther IN WIN IN IN WIN IN IN IN OUT
Rosi IN WIN WIN WIN IN WIN WIN LEFT
N IN WIN LOW IN WIN IN OUT
Kamron IN IN WIN WIN WIN QUIT
Drake IN WIN WIN WIN OUT
Ariana IN WIN IN OUT
Darceline IN WIN OUT
"Magic" IN OUT

Trivia

Credit

  • I'd like to thank Reddy for making the logo.
  • I'd like to thank MrD and Zinc for making and updating the elimination table.
  • I'd like to thank Rhonda for giving me the idea of Katt and Evi rethinking their relationship.
  • I'd like to thank MrD for letting me use, and later kill, Daimion, a character based upon him.

Chapter 1

  • Paradise Beach is fictional and was created by the author in about two minutes.
  • The original version of the story was called Total Drama Silver, which, looking back, the author thinks is a horrible title.
  • The story was originally named Total Drama Beach, but was changed for no real reason.
  • Chris saying "Leave Chris alone!" is a reference to the viral YouTube video, "Leave Brittney Alone."
  • Janina's name and outfit is based off of Janine from the Pokemon series. The name Janine was taken.
  • Luther saying "Hey there, Delilah," is a reference to a song by the Plain White T's of the same name.
  • Redd is partially based of of Reddude.
  • Rosi was created by the author's sister.
  • Drake was created by the author's brother.
  • N saying "Is this real life?" is a reference to the YouTube video, "David After Dentist."
  • N is named after N from the Pokemon series, but bears no resemblence to him.
  • Darceline is named after Marceline the Vampire Queen from Adventure Time. The name Marceline was taken.

Chapter 2

  • Katt calling N "Hilbert," is a reference to a player character of the same name in the Pokemon series. The author did this to include another Pokemon reference in N's lines.
  • This episode officially begins the interactions between Aquamara and Redd.
  • The author made up Rosi's story at random.
  • Rosi falling asleep because of Luther's sports story is a reference to the author's dislike of most sports.
  • Jena spying on Rosi and Luther is a slight reference to Sprinklemist's Hedda.
  • The original Team Female included Kat, Katt's prototype, Ali, Evi's prototype, Janine, Janina's prototype, and Lynetta's prototype of the same name.
  • The original Team Perci was called Team Silver Is Really Really Really Cool and included Luther's prototype of the same name, Ian, Perci's prototype, Marceline, Darceline's prototype, and Franz's prototype of the same name.
  • The original Team Beach was called Team Victorious and included Lana's prototype of the same name, Jenna, Jena's prototype, "Vicini," "Magic's" prototype, and "Einstein", a character cut from the story.
  • Darceline calling Lana "sissy" meant "sister." The nickname comes from a girl at the author's school who calls her female friends (and, sometimes, her male friends, jokingly) that.
  • Team Beach was always going to be the first team to go to elimination. In fact, they were originally a Team Victory.
  • "Magic" was always going to be the first eliminated.
  • The title is a reference to The Amazing Race.

Chapter 3

  • "Super Happy Mega Fun Time Cupcake Dance Party" is a reference to silly animes and the Total Drama World Tour episode, "Super Happy Crazy Fun Time Japan."
  • The "english version" Chris was auditioning for is assumed to be a dub of the original work.
  • Daimion the intern is based on Mrdaimion.
  • Chris ordered Team Beach to the sheds randomly because the author forgot to write it in the previous chapter.
  • Katt makes fun of "Friday," a viral YouTube video and a horrible song.
  • Rosi's prank was found hilarious by the author's sister but sadistic by the author's brother.
  • Originally, N was going to be eliminated, but he was too popular.
  • Darceline was eliminated to give Lana a storyline.
  • The title is a reference to the song, "I've Got Two Tickets to Paradise."
  • In the original version of the story, Darceline placed fourth.

Chapter 4

  • Lana's line, "Another one bites the dust," is a common saying.
  • Lana's (and Darceline's) last name being Van Queen is reference to an Adventure Time character named Marceline the Vampire Queen.
  • Luther calling "Captain Obvious" is a common nickname for someone who states the obvious.
  • Chris' greeting is based on stereotypical Hawaiian accent.
  • Katt failed at surfing because the author was afraid that Katt would be seen as a Mary Sue.
  • The author prefers to leave Katt's "idea" to the readers' guessing.
  • N continues to fail in this chapter.
  • Redd's fear of water is shown in this chapter.
  • Kamron and Ariana were paired together shortly after they were created.
  • Originally, Kamron was going to ask Katt out, but be denied because Katt would realize that he only liked her for her appearence. Then, Kamron would understand and go onto a balcony to sulk. Ariana would then arrive (looking for her clothes) and comfort him, until they kissed and became an official couple. The author changed it because he doubted he could pull this scene off.
  • Ariana was always planned to be eliminated in the same episode that she and Kamron became a couple.

Chapter 5

  • The author did not know what to do for Chris' opening. While brainstorming, he thought of the movie Rio he had seen earlier that day and came up with idea of the hanglider.
  • Phil the cameraman's name was made up at random.
  • Daimion the intern reappears in this chapter.
  • Jena's role as a secondary antagonist started in this chapter.
  • N causing the thump was made up randomly.
  • The chapter of The Diary of Jena being the fifth was a reference to this chapter being the fifth of the story.
  • The chapter of The Diary Of Jena was based on how Lumpy Space Princess from Adventure Time talks. Especially the "Oh my grod" phrase.
  • What Franz translates to, "Go to hell." With all the people taking French and Google Translate, the author decided to make no attempt to hide this.
  • The title is a reference to Endurance, a teenage reality show. It is named as such because of the challenge.
  • The author had Team Perci and Team Beach both win because he didn't know which to put first.
  • Drake was eliminated by default. The author wanted to eliminate a male to keep the amout of each gender even, and someone from Team Female because they had not yet lost a member. Drake and Evi were the only ones who fit this criteria, and the author wanted to keep Evi so his relationship with Katt could progress. Drake was the only option left.

Chapter 6

  • Daimion's line is a reference to something said by Noah in the Total Drama World Tour episode, "Jamaica Me Sweat."
  • Jena discovers the confessional without it being announced to the contestants, much like LeShawna did in Total Drama World Tour.
  • The scene where Luther and N damage Team Female's roof and getting scolded by Lynetta is based on the classic scene where a baseball breaks an old person's window. Evi points this out.
  • Rosi's sugar rush was added simply for humor.
  • The "Starvation Games" are a parody of The Hunger Games book series.
  • Janina's line in Team Female's movie is a reference to a song by Chris Brown. Unforunately, the author does not know the name of this song.
  • Chris and Kamron's exchange when Kamron quit is based on Harold's elimination in Total Drama World Tour.

Chapter 7

  • The girl Chris went on a date with was supposed to be part of a one-time joke, but had some sort of role in another episode, much like Phil.
  • Dustin Believer and Suzannah Louisiana are parodies of Justin Bieber and Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus), respectively.
  • The Hunger Games parody, Starvation Games, appear again in this chapter.
  • Pato, Natkiss, and Keeta are parodies of Cato, Katniss, and Peeta, respectively. These are all Hunger Games characters.
  • Region 2 is a parody of District 2 of the Hunger Games.
  • Franz tells part of the plot of the Starvation Games. This scene is also part of the Hunger Games, with the actual characters. Perci cut him off to avoid too much of a spoiler.
  • Lana's description of fear is based on how it was described in Adventure Time.
  • The move Jena performed on Janina is a reference to the Super Street Fighter games. She performed the Gyro Drive Smasher, which is performed by Cammy in the Super Street Fighter games.
  • Rosi saying, "Yesh!!" is based on something the author commonly says online.
  • Chris giving Team Female second place due to a ridiculous tiebreaker is a reference to Lindsay's Total Drama Island elimination.

Chapter 8

  • Chris playing against someone in Europe is a reference to stereotypical gamers not knowing their gaming friends in real life.
  • Rosi calling Redd a spanish-speaking teletubby is a reference to a Shane Dawson YouTube video, which is a reference to The Teletubbies in itself.
  • Le Pamplemousse, the restaurant that Franz mentions, is French for "The Grapefruit."
  • The MP3 player Luther listens to, the myPod, is a reference to the iPod.
  • Kary Gerry and her song, Inferno, are references to Katy Perry and her song, Firework, respectively.
  • Key$ha and her song, Ding Dong, is a reference to Ke$ha and her song, Tik Tok, respectively.
  • Canye East is a reference to Kanye West.
  • Rosi being an undercover teenage police officer was planned a few chapters before. A hint to this was the police officers not being concerned by her presence, and one of them chuckling when the other thought Rosi was the insane woman.

Chapter 9

  • The video of Key$ha, the parody of Ke$ha from the episode before, going viral is a slight reference to the viral video of Snooki from Jersey Shore being punched in the face by a teacher.
  • The bucket randomly lighting on fire is a reference to The Amazing World of Gumball.
  • The idea of Chris being in a speedo came from Alejandro in the Total Drama World Tour episode, "Jamaica Me Sweat."
  • Lynetta saying that swimming in a V will make them go faster is based on something Courtney said in the Total Drama World Tour episode, "Newf Kids On The Rock."
  • Lady Googoo is a parody of Lady Gaga.
  • The "I pity da foo'!" lines are a reference to Mr. T.
  • Luther was eliminated for plot reasons.
  • In the orginal version of the story, Luther placed eighth.

Chapter 10

  • The title is a slight reference to That 70s Show.
  • The game Katt and Lynetta were playing was a reference to the Super Street Fighter games.
  • Canada's Next Top Vain Model is a parody of America's Next Top Model.
  • Aquamara setting a replica of Redd's room up in the middle of the water is a reference to Adventure Time.
  • Felicity Von Twinklepuff's last name is a reference to a nickname Drake Parker from Drake & Josh temporarily obtained.
  • Der Schnitzel Kickers is the band Duncan had in the Total Drama World Tour episode, "I See London..."
  • Lynetta's elimination was a example of dark humor.
  • A scene was cut out of this episode. It consisted of Lynetta listing Katt's good qualitites in confessional, and Katt overhearing the whole thing from outside and laughing. It was cut out because it could've been interpreted as Katt thinking Lynetta was homosexual. The scene went as follows:

Lynetta was shown in confessional. "Okay, so maybe I was jealous of Katt." She admitted. "She's just so pretty and nice and smart and cute and clever and confident and..." The camera skipped forward. "But there's no way I'm letting her know I said that."

Katt was shown outside confessional giggling hysterically.

  • Lynetta placed seventh in the original version of the story.

Chapter 11

  • The ugly, black-haired girl who went up to Chris in the intro is a reference to Rebecca Black and her song, Friday.
  • Redd emptying the cup before drinking is a reference to iCarly.
  • The myPod is a parody of the iPod.
  • This marks the first time contestants have been shown after elimination.
  • Perci and Jena' poker faces is a slight reference to Poker Face by Lady Gaga.
  • This episode marks the first time Chris didn't sign off.
  • In the original version of the story, Perci placed second.

Chapter 12

  • The title is a reference is to Tennis for Two.
  • Charlie Bean is a parody of Charlie Sheen.
  • Three and a Third Men is a parody of Two and a Half Men.
  • Lady Googoo is parody of Lady Gaga.
  • Super Maria Sisters is a parody of Super Mario Brothers.
  • Rintendo XD is a parody of Nintendo DS.
  • In the original version of the story, Evi placed fifth.
  • Katt won the original version of the story.

Chapter 13

  • The song Chris was singing is a parody of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga.
  • The Nubik's Cube is a parody of the Rubik's Cube.
  • Kary Gerry is a parody of Katy Perry.
  • California Chicks is a parody of California Gurls by Katy Perry.
  • Aquamara was originally going to place seventh.

Chapter 14

  • The title is a reference to a quote by Falco from the Star Fox games in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
  • The "over nine thousand" quote is a reference to the meme from Dragon Ball Z.
  • The elimination was the most obvious out of all of them so far, but the results took a while to think up an explanation to.
  • Franz was eliminated to help Lana's plot, much like Darceline.

Chapter 15

  • The title is a reference to 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.
  • Lady Googoo is a parody of Lady Gaga.
  • Dustin Believer is a parody of Justin Bieber.
  • The scene involving the "raw meat bikini" is a based on an actual dress sported by Lady Gaga.
  • California Chicks is a parody of California Gurls by Katy Perry. The lyrics are a reference to Key of Awesome's parody of California Gurls.
  • Rufus is a parody of Judas by Lady Gaga.
  • The nyan song is a reference to Nyan Cat.
  • Janina was eliminated due to the fact that her plot basically ended after she eliminated Aquamara.
  • In the original version of the story, Janina placed third.

Chapter 16

  • The title is a reference to the song I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry.
  • The exchange between Jena and Redd is meant to be reminiscent of a stereotypical lazy husband and overbearing wife.
  • Lana was eliminated due to achieving her goal in the game.
  • Lana placed ninth in the original version of the story, and broke free of her gothic attitude much earlier in the story.

Chapter 17

  • The title is a reference to It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
  • Jena's dream is a reference to the song Tik Tok by Ke$ha.
  • D Piddy is an obvious parody of P Diddy.
  • Taylor Shift is an obvious parody of Taylor Swift.
  • The interns were killed off for being innocent bystanders that would look funnier dying than anyone else.
  • Jena breaks the fourth wall when picking Katt. This shows that the author regrets making Katt place so high.
  • Jena telling Redd that he lost The Game is a reference to... The Game.
  • Jena placed eleventh in the original version.
  • It should be noted that Redd did not appear in the original version of the story.

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