The sun, relentlessly hot, inched over the horizon as Chris McLean relaxed on the deck of the aptly named S.S. McLean. It was a sleek, sexy boat, with its own hot tub and a mini Tiki bar - tailored to all of Chris’s selfish needs. After the destruction and subsequent failure of Camp Wawanakwa and Pahkitew Island, he had blown the rest of his host revenue into the S.S. McLean and a first class trip to the Hawaiian Islands. Part of him wanted to find a new island for a new season, and part of him just wanted to forget. Could he forget though? After all, hosting Total Drama was the only thing he was truly good at - in his own words, he was born with a “gift”.
The boat drifted for a while, before the entire deck was inexplicably cast in darkness.
“Chef, I thought I told you I wanted that retractable awning retracted at all times!” Chris complained. His mud facial cracked as he grimaced in annoyance.
“Uh, Chris, you’re gonna wanna see this…” Chef Hatchet replied from the boat’s prow.“I really doubt whatever’s got your shorts in a twist is of any interest to me” said Chris, but joined him at the prow anyway. Immediately, his jaw hit the floor.
Before them was a small island, with a pristine white beach and a lush jungle. A large, imposing cliff with jagged edges and dangerous looking summit faced the west end of the island, while an even larger volcano towered over the east side of the island.
"Waikiki Island... we finally found it..." Chris stuttered, utterly fixated by the beauty before him.
"Heh, that's not what the locals call it" Chef replied, flipping through the brochure. "Says here they call it 'Hazard Island' ".
"So...beautiful…” Chris stammered, tears welling in his eyes. Without warning, though with perfect timing, the boat began to shake, as waves began to crash violently against the hull - it was as if the island was shaking as well. Both Chris and Chef were flung backwards as the volcano suddenly erupted, sending a plume of smoke and ash into the air, and spewing fire on everything around it.
Chris shrieked in terror as a large lava rock ripped a hole in the deck about three feet away, leaping into Chef’s arms. Almost instantly, the S.S. McLean began to fill with water, slowly sinking into the water. The look of glee on his face told Chef everything he needed to know.
“Please tell me you’re not thinking what I think you're thinking…”
As they locked eyes, another tear rolled down Chris’s cheek before he replied: “It’s perfect..."
Chapter One - Escape to Hulu Mountain
“Welcome back, loyal fans!” Chris McLean exclaims excitedly, as the camera focuses on his cheery face, and then begins to slowly pan outwards.
“We’ve seen a lot over the years...from the horrors of summer camp, to the perils of Pahkitew Island, there’s no territory I won’t brave for the sake of your entertainment!”
As the camera continues to zoom out, we see that Chris is standing beside a small lava flow, and appears to be at the base of a large volcano. Flashing the viewers a grin, he takes out a large stick, sticks a marshmallow at the end of it, and begins to roast it over the boiling lava. When the marshmallow suddenly catches fire, and disintegrates, Chris shrugs and casually tosses the stick out of view.
“Unfortunately, due to the heinous disregard of a select few former competitors, whom I will not name, we had to relocate this year…”
As Chris is speaking, the camera shows a flashback Wawanakwa’s destruction, followed by a brief clip of RCMP helicopters hosing down Pahkitew Island, which is completely aflame. When we see Chris again, he is walking across a beach.
“But don’t fret, Total Drama fans, for I have found the perfect replacement. Welcome to Waikiki Island, Hawaii, nicknamed ‘Hazard Island’ by the locals because of its extreme danger and unpredictability!” Chris laughs with his usual sadistic glee.
“This year, for the third time, we’re bringing you a whole new batch of contestants, none of whom have any idea of exactly what they’re in for.”
A montage of some of the island’s most dangerous features follows, and we see a incredibly large volcano, harsh looking jagged rocks, several hungry looking sharks, a large snake hanging from a tree branch, and a frightening furry spider, which promptly crawls up Chef Hatchet’s leg, causing him to scream in panic.
The camera switches once again to Chris, who is now standing beside a small campfire pit, at the top of what appears to be a large cliff.
“The rules are the same - contestants will vote each other out here, at the summit of Mt. Hulu, until only one competitor is left to claim their cash prize - one million dollars!”
A case full of money is shown, similar to past seasons.
“There will be thrills, there will be spills, and plenty of drama. Sit back, buckle your seat belts, and get ready for the most explosive, outrageous, and shocking season yet. Who will fall, who will rise to the occasion? Who will be the last man standing? Find out now, on Total Drama: Hazard Island!”
Cue Theme Song
“Welcome back to Total Drama Hazard Island!” Chris exclaims cheerily. Instead of the beach, he’s now standing on a large landing pad platform in the middle of the island’s jungle.
“Unlike previous seasons, this year I’ve taken the liberty of pre-selecting the teams that will be competing against each other for the next few weeks.”
Suddenly, the whirl of a helicopter propeller can be heard. The camera cuts to a large yellow colored helicopter, which lands promptly onto to the helipad. Because of the loud noise created by the propeller blades, Chris whips out a megaphone.
“And here’s our first team now!” Chris shouts into the megaphone. The first contestant steps onto the platform, a good looking kid with a guitar case slung across his back.
“Welcome to Waikiki Island, Alex” Chris shouts, once again into the megaphone, though the propellers have already come to a halt.
“Whoa, no need to shout, man” Alex chuckles nervously. “I think you burst an eardrum…”
“Oh, right. Sorry about that…” Chris replies, tossing the megaphone to the side. “Leon! Nice to meet you…”
A pale, lanky, smartly dressed boy is the next to exit the helicopter, and the look of distaste on his face is immediately evident.
“Are you sure this place is...safe?” he mutters, crossing his arms in disapproval.
“Safe enough, rich boy. Welcome to the island…” Chris replies, extending his hand, which Leon refuses.
“Just remember my parents are willing to sue” he says, plopping down his luggage next to Alex.
A girl wearing a pair of muddy cowboy boots and a matching hat steps onto the platform, eagerly shaking Chris’s hand. Her southern accent is very pronounced.
“You must be Sally…”
“That’s me alright! It’s real nice to meet you, Mr. McLean...my daddy says you’re famous! Well...at least you used to be...”
“Hey! I’m still famous!” Chris replies, obviously hurt by Sally’s remark.
“Didn’t you go to prison?” says the next contestant to step out of the helicopter. Immediately Chris’s face begins to turn red. She has medium length blonde hair, and has a nervous smile.
“Sorry, I...I don’t mean to pry, I was just curious…”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Chris stammers, beaming awkwardly at the camera. “Everyone, this is Lucy”.
“Hey Guys…” Lucy says, waving shyly.
“Tell me she’s joking…” Leon exclaims, squinting in suspicion.
“She’s not. He totally did…” Alex replies, giving Lucy a quick glance.
“I did not!” Chris interjects, flustered. The camera pans to the passenger door of the helicopter as the fourth contestant steps out. She has blonde, sandy hair with a single blue highlight, and gives of a bohemian-esque vibe.
“You turned Wawanakwa island into your own personal radioactive waste zone and tortured all those poor animals...the least you can do is fess up to it…” she huffs, and as she walks over to the others, it becomes apparent that she’s not carrying any luggage.
“Markie” Chris says with gritted teeth, “welcome to Waikiki Island”
“It’s so beautiful…” Markie replies, blissfully taking in her surroundings.
“Yes. Yes it is…” Chris replies, obviously frustrated, and shoves her aside.
“Where’s your luggage?” Lucy asks, giving Markie a concerned look.
“Mother earth supplies all that I need” Markie replies rather absent-mindedly, earning looks of confusion from the other competitors.
“Rory! Nice to have you here…” Chris exclaims as the next competitor walks over. His hair and manner of dress is rather uncleanly. His right ear is pierced, and he wears a casual black and red striped tie. A red bandana is tied around his head.
“Nice to be here, mate! So when does the party start?” Rory replies in a British (specifically Londoner) accent, obviously checking out some of the female contestants. The camera cuts to Sally and Lucy, with the former looking rather confused and the latter rolling her eyes.“And last but not least, here comes Danny! Welcome, dude...” Chris exclaims, as the final contestant exits the helicopter. Danny, an average looking guy with casual clothing, slicked auburn hair and a medium build, is about to reply when he suddenly trips over his suitcase, landing square on his jaw. Lucy immediately rushes to his aid, and helps him up.
“Are you okay?” she asks, laying her hand gently on his shoulder.
“Uh...yeah….fine. I’m fine” Danny replies awkwardly in a quiet voice, obviously flustered.
After Danny has met the others, Chris does a quick count on his fingers upon surveying his new victims.
“Alright, looks like all of are here. Well, almost all of you… we still got another helicopter on its way…” Chris says, before mumbling a few words into his walkie talkie. Promptly, the helicopter takes off, only to be replaced by a new one a few minutes later.
“Okay, you seven, step over there” Chris shouts, directing the already arrived contestants further towards the edge of the platform. “You’re all on team one!”
“Wonderful" Leon grumbles, crossing his arms in disappointment as he glances around at his teammates.
The next helicopter, this time a light teal color, lands, and the camera cuts to the next contestant as she exits through the passenger door. She has short wavy black hair, wears a pair of fashionable boots and a stylish purple sweater.
“Chris McLean, it’s an honor! You’re looking great today, I’m loving the windblown look…” she says sweetly, her voice somewhat shrill and girly.
“Thank you, Ashley. At least some people are appreciative of how hard it is to achieve this look..., welcome to the island!”
“And you must be the other contestants…” Ashley continues, noticing the other team. “It’s so nice to meet you all!”
“Oh brother…” the next contestant says as she steps into view, pretending to gag as Ashley compliments Lucy’s hair. Though it’s obvious she’s a girl, her tomboyish clothes say otherwise. Her brown hair is tucked into a baseball cap, and a beat-up skateboard is stuffed in her backpack.
A tough looking guy with helmet hair and a muscle shirt is right behind her, and he laughs at her gagging joke.
“And our brother-sister duo has arrived! TJ and Brent, welcome!” Chris announces. It’s clear that the girl is TJ, and the guy is Brent. He’s about a foot taller than she is, but otherwise they do look pretty similar. Chris gives them each a fist bump.
“Hey, where’s the resort at?” Brent asks, giving Chris a pointed look. Before he can answer, Brent slaps him playfully on the shoulder with a grin. “Relax, I was just joking man”
“Uh huh...and here comes our next contestant, Yun!” Chris says. Yun, a super scrawny kid with mousy brown hair, wears a tinfoil hat on his head.
“What’s with the hat, dork?” Brent says, mildly amused.
“Don’t you guys know? This island is cursed…” Yun replies fanatically.
“Cursed? Cursed by whom?” Alex says, laughing.
“The fire goddess, Pele, of course! We tread on sacred ground!”
By this point, most of the other contestants are laughing. Yun, quite awkwardly, laughs as well, though continues to look around nervously.
Confessional“Ever since I started the Toronto Committee for Alien and Supernatural awareness back in sixth grade, Waikiki Island has always been at the top of my bucket list! Pele’s curse is real, I know it, and I’m finally going to find out for myself!” Yun squeals with delight.
“Moving on…” Chris interrupts. “Vincent, our very own know-it-all, is here!”
Vincent, who wears a pair of thick glasses and an uncomfortable looking sweater, rolls his eyes once he sees Yun and his tinfoil hat.
“Where’d you manage to catch this lot, Chris?” he says, gesturing towards the others but particularly Yun. His tone of voice sounds as if he is perpetually unimpressed. He’s about to shake Chris’s hand, when another contestant wearing a blue tracksuit emerges from the helicopter, knocking him over with her large gym bag.
“This is Brooke, everyone” Chris says, flinching as she approaches him due to her impressive height, as she’s at least two feet taller than him.
“You looked a lot smaller in the audition tape…” Chris stammers.
“You got a problem?” Brooke replies, arching her eyebrows.
“No...no problem” Chris replies, after a moment of slightly uncomfortable silence.
“Good” Brooke says, standing over by the other contestants. Yun is visibly nervous by her close proximity, obviously intimidated by her athletic physique. He’s not the only one. Vincent, recovering from his fall, quickly joins her, muttering to himself. His glasses are askew.
“And last, but certainly not least, it’s...Ellie!” Chris announces as the last competitor steps down from the helicopter.
“Chris McLean!” she shouts immediately, squealing with joy. Running up to Chris, she gives him an awkwardly long hug. She’s rather short, with shoulder length brown hair and a chubby figure. “My ex-boyfriend said you were an endangerment to society, but I think you’re alright! I’ve been dreaming about his moment every since I was, like, six! My favorite dream is the one where you’re a half-naked merman living in my bathtub…”
“Uh….” Chris replies, unsure of how to respond. The camera pans across the other competitor’s faces, which range in expression from utterly creeped out to confusion. Ashley looks like she’s about to barf.
“Too much information? Sorry…” Ellie says, laughing nervously.
“Okay then...” Chris continues, after the helicopter has taken off. “Now that you’re all here, why don’t we take roll call”
The screen flashes, and we’re now at the beach. Chris has arranged both teams so that they’re on either side of him.“Before we get to your very first challenge, which I’m sure you’ll all enjoy...” Chris chuckles sadistically, “I’m going to assign each team a team name.”
“Ooh, ooh, can we be the Fire Gods?” Rory asks enthusiastically. “That was the name of my garage band back in Primary school…”
“I’ll be deciding the team names…” Chris replies, pulling out several cue cards from his pocket.
“Ashley, Ellie, Brent, TJ, Yun, Brooke, and Vincent, from now on, you shall collectively be known as The Perilous Pythons…”
“Nice…” Brent comments, fist pounding with TJ.
“Danny, Alex, Lucy, Rory, Sally, Markie, and Leon, you shall now be known as The Leaping Lions!”
“Lions?” Markie complains, “lions aren’t tropical animals…”
“Neither are giant snakes” Chris chuckles, “but we spared no expense this year in order to create the most dangerous, terrifying environment we could for our loyal viewers. You’d be surprised what they can cook up in a lab nowadays!”
“That’s messed up, man” Markie replies, distressed.
“Giant snakes?” Ashley says, planting her hands on her hips, and arching her pencilled-in eyebrow.
Confessional“Let me get one thing very clear...if Chris thinks some silly little contract gives him the excuse to abuse this perfect hair, he’s got another thing coming. Humidity is not my friend. Oh, and see these?” Ashley says, pointing to her designer shoes, “these are Giovanni heels. Not made for dirty jungle walking!”
“Let me just remind you that my daddy is a lawyer...” Ashley huffs, crossing her arms in disdain.
“Aw...need a hug, teamie?” Ellie replies, approaching Ashley with outstretched arms and a big smile.
“Don’t touch me” Ashley snaps.
“Yeah...I don’t care. Let me remind you that you’re bound to a contract” Chris smirks. “Now then, on to the challenge!”
“Wait, what about our cabins?” Leon asks.
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot!” Chris replies, grinning. “Everyone, follow me!”
Chris leads the cast back into the jungle, but this time on the eastern side of the island. About a quarter of a mile in, and they come across two shabby treehouses, each suspended high in their own tree. A weak-looking rope ladder hangs down from each treehouse.
“Pythons, you get the east treehouse. Lions, you get the west one. There...you happy now?” Chris says, turning to an alarmed-looking group of competitors.
“Y-yeah, I’m scared of heights. Just my luck, I guess” Danny sighs.
Confessional“I ditched traditional housing years ago. Who needs material possessions anyways? All you really need is a sweet view of the stars and a hole to pee in” Markie confesses.
“After you settle in, meet me back at the beach. I’ll be waiting…” Chris announces, laughing maniacally.
"Chris, what about food? How are we supposed to eat?" asks Alex, his expression clearly reflecting concern.
"I'm sure you'll figure something out!" Chris calls back, before disappearing from the shot. The contestants stand there dumbfounded until they are startled by a rather loud noise, coming from a nearby bush. Leon, in a moment of panic, jumps into Rory's arms. The ruffling sound continues, growing increasingly more violent.
“What do you think it is…” says Lucy, nervously. As if in response, a large, menacing boar pokes its head out from the shrubbery, with two sharp-looking tusks jutting from its mouth. Contestants on both teams begin to scream hysterically until Sally suddenly tackles the beast to the ground and wrestles it into submission.
“Wow…” TJ exclaims, impressed. The boar seems to have given up its struggle and is pinned under Sally.“Just like wrestlin’ hogs back on the farm” Sally shrugs in reply. “Anyone up for some roasted boar?”
Confessional“No one told me I’d have to share a cabin with some back-country mud-loving hillbilly…” Leon grumbles, crossing his arms in disgust.
“I could go for some jerky” TJ replies, shrugging. “Why not?”
“Oh no. This boar is property of the Leaping Lions” Rory says, grabbing the subdued animal from Sally and hoisting it up on his shoulders. “Find your own food, mates”
“Dude, come on…” TJ replies, annoyed.
“Every team for themselves” Leon replies, smugly.
“Fine. Whatever…” TJ replies, suddenly noticing a very nervous looking Yun standing next to her. “You okay, man?”
“It’s an omen…” he replies ominously.
“An omen? What are you talking about?” says Brent, confused.
“An omen of bad fortune - the boar is one of Pele’s sacred animals! We’re all doomed!” Yun replies, his eyes wide with terror. “We have to let it go!”
Before anyone can object, Rory suddenly falls over, landing square on his jaw, and allowing the boar to escape back into the forest. It immediately becomes clear that Markie tripped him.
“Run, you beautiful creature! Run for your life!” she shouts as the beast disappears into the misty gloom. Another awkward silence follows.
“Well, that’s a shame” Sally finally replies, as the others glare at Markie.
“What was I supposed to do? Animals are our friends! I couldn’t just let the poor thing become lunch...besides, I’m a vegan!” Markie says.
Confessional“I feel like I’m surrounded by a bunch of cavemen. I guess we’ll be living on tree bark and coconuts for the next two weeks. Then again...I hear coconut milk is good for the pores…” Ashley says.
Part Three of Chapter One coming soon...
Chapter Two - Fast and Infuriating
Chapter Three - TBA
Chapter Four - TBA
Chapter Five - TBA
Chapter Six - TBA
Chapter Seven - TBA
Chapter Eight - TBA
Chapter Nine - TBA
Chapter Ten - TBA
Chapter Eleven - TBA
Chapter Twelve - TBA
Chapter Thirteen - TBA
- This contestant is a member of the Perilous Pythons.
WIN - This contestant was on the winning team, or won post-merge individual immunity.
SAFE - This contestant was on the losing team, but was not eliminated.
LOW - This contestant was in the bottom two.
OUT - This contestant was eliminated.