Chat about the story here~
Winner Guessing Contest[]
Exactly what is says on the tin: Guess the winner! The winner gets an entire fanfic cast in the style of those beautiful character images you see on the page. Good luck :) --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 21:55, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Alfred - Space was here some time ago and he wrote stuff. 22:20, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Betsy - Hi. This is a Signature. Click on it n stuff 22:01, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Chadd - Smh. For the record, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes Ashley Hikari (talk) 02:13, June 4, 2015 (UTC)
Danni - --You told me I could survive, You were right. 22:00, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Heath - ayyy Enthony, I'm tired of hearing about so many of these obscure bends! If they were good, they'd be #1 on the cherts! 15:08, November 9, 2015 (UTC)
Gretchen -
What is Helen doing here? "I'll drive up and I'll kill you in your shitty little apartment. And I'll drive over to my club and that'll be it." "That was really nice... I don't have a shitty apartment." 02:08, June 4, 2015 (UTC)
Karen - Idk but YOLO My awesomeness level is over 90-*shot* (talk) 21:56, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Lila - The brains needed a body. We found our zombies, now we're in. 22:09, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Matilda - Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. 02:09, June 4, 2015 (UTC)
Pietro - CK Hrey! ^_^ 00:05, June 4, 2015 (UTC)
Ramsey - The wasted years, the wasted youth. The pretty lies, the ugly truth. 21:56, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Spence - STICK TO THE PLAN- Keith Nale 22:00, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Travis - I can't decide if you're trying to be Ben Vereen or Randy Newman. 02:06, June 4, 2015 (UTC)
Vicky - ZacAttack Rawr 00:10, June 4, 2015 (UTC)
Reality Realized Reviews[]
I'll be posting all of the reviews my story gets for Reality Realized here! :)
Chapter 1[]
Characters and Dialogue: 23/25
Well done, almost every character in this first chapter was a standout to me. You balanced them very well and everyone had at least one somewhat large moment. I'm particularly hooked on "Triple H," Vicky, Pietro, and Ramsey. I particularly enjoyed Vicky and Ramsey's interaction, and would love to see that explored a bit more. I can say with confidence that I can recite every character's name and remember who they are, not only in terms of physical appearance, but also personality. The dialogue was sharp, fit the characters well, and really allowed us to see who these people were right off the bat. Oh and your hosts... <3 love is all I can say.
Now I had a few very minor gripes. I felt that some characters, like Chadd and Travis, were weak here. However, it's completely understandable that a few characters wouldn't get as much. Besides with his stereotype it'd seem like Travis isn't meant to speak much. Also a few lines of dialogue here or there fell a bit flat. But overall this was an excellent first chapter in terms of characters, and I look forward to seeing how they go forward in the story.
So with the minor things only removing a bit from the score, verdict on characters and dialogue is a 23/25.
Plot and Flow: 19/20
The flow was excellent here and had a pace that really moved along. No segment felt too long or too short for me and the pacing was great. You also set up a ton of possible plots/rivalries moving forward that should be really interesting to delve into. Also the hosts are being particularly mysterious, and I love it! My one gripe is that despite the segments being evenly paced some of the characters got a bit short ended during some of them, like Travis and Chadd, but aside from that I have no issues.
My verdict for plot and flow is a 19/20
Theme of the Week: 18/20
Although it was an unconventional way to introduce the characters, the intros were very interesting and fleshed out almost every character very well. Same small issues here that I had under characters.
My verdict for theme of the week is an 18/20.
Personal Enjoyment: 15/15
I loved it, that is all.
My verdict for personal enjoyment is a 15/15.
Spelling and Grammar: 8/10
There were a few errors here or there but nothing that detracted from the experience. However, the slight tense changes and spelling mistakes were kinda annoying.
My verdict for spelling and grammar is an 8/10.
Description: 9/10
Every setting and character was richly detailed and it really helped drag me in to the story. My sole gripe is that you used their names quite a bit instead of descriptors like "the thickly muscled." Now you did include these, but not to as much of an extent as I would've liked to diversify the word choice. Also using the stereotypes right as the characters were introduced was a bit odd, since we were just meeting these characters for the first time.
My verdict for description is a 9/10.
Final Verdict: 92/100
I don't give 90's very often Reddy, so take this as a statement of a job well done. You blew it out of the water, now keep it up and you may just end up as the Reality Realized champion!
My final verdict for Easy, Breezy, Beautiful week one is an outstanding 92/100!
Development and Originality: 9.7
Most of the chapter was extremely creative, from the concept of the show, to the original hosts, and even the way of presenting the contestants, which deviated from the one-by-one norm and made the chapter much more interesting to read. The whole cast is really original. Even the most basic characters have some kind of twist to them (except Danni, who has an overdone stereotype and bores me), and although most of them are a little too wacky, they work well together as far as introduction chapters go. We can see some interactions starting, like Gretchen and Spence, or Matilda and the eye candies, which may or may not become interesting plots later on. Speaking of interesting plots, I'm so ready for Betsy.
Focus: 10
There really isn't much to say here, the focus was well distributed enough, we had around two characters who were less in-your-face (surprisingly the drag queen and the eccentric guy) but still had enough time to show their personality. No one was overused, especially because the smart format of introductions prevented that from happening. Keep up the good work!
Dialogue: 10
This was amazing. The two hosts, from the very first part of the intro, had just the right amount of comical flamboyance to make it super realistic, cartoony, and funny. I was able to determine kind of what some characters’ stereotypes were just by reading their first lines, especially like Vicky and her amazing diary entry, so they all fit the stereotypes really well. Characters like Matilda and Spence had hilarious lines that were unique, memorable, and fit really well. The Spence/Gretchen interaction was potentially my favorite part of the chapter, but Heath and Chadd really gave them a run for their money. You’ve got a cast of characters as colorful as their images, and their interactions are great so far.
Formal Aspect: 10
Your writing style occasionally reminds me of mine, and mine is absolutely flawless, so there are no real issues at all (jk, jk… or am I?). But really, I got nothing. Grammar and punctuation were great, I couldn’t really find any typos, and nothing seemed too awkward.
Overall: 9.92
Chapter 2[]
Development and Originality: 9.2
This cast produces really funny interactions, most of them pretty original! From the plots I gather so far, which aren't many yet (but that's not an issue, it's just the second chapter), Karen being a mastermind nudist g.oddess <3 Danni and Betsy's BFFmance which doesn't quite work for me because that kind of interaction is tiring, it reminds me of Lisa and Penelope (who I hated) from Frank's story, but a little less over-the-top; I still love Betsy, though <3 And finally, we have the love triangle of Travis-Spence-Gretchen... oh wait. Yeah, I have no idea what will be of those two now that Gretchen is gone (and I'm really curious too!) I just hope they don't turn into joke characters. Speaking of joke-characters, you are pertty god at those (Matilda <3), I just think Vicky and Pietro are falling flat at the moment, so I hope they get more to them besides being snarky/being dumb later on ^^ Speaking of falling flat, the elimination challenge was definitely the least interesting part of this amazing chapter. I know it's difficult (and extremely boring) to write challenges, and they always end up really anticlimatic, but maybe try compensating the lack of climax with some humor. Just a suggestion, because I know you're great at it!
Focus: 10
I felt like this was a very Alfred-focused chapter, but having a "chapter protagonist" is far from an issue as long as it's not the same one every chapter. We had some less relevant characters like Chadd (I know dialogue is with Toad, but I love his speech patterns and hope to see more of him later), but no one was invisible so no issue there either! Good job!
Dialogue: 10
I’m continuing to love this cast and their amazingly OTT ways of speaking with each other. Highlights this time included Matilda’s weird comparisons that somehow nailed the way old, frumpy women speak, Betsy’s lines which made it evident that she was hiding something without giving too much away (I’m excited to see where her plot goes too lol <3), and… THAT one Ramsey line. Gretchen was pretty perfect for a first boot, I thought her way of speaking was irritating enough to make me glad she left, but also fun enough where I wasn’t annoyed by her, so it was a perfect middle ground. Great job!
Formal Aspect: 9.8
Very few errors - some little typos: you don’t need a comma after a dash (like “--”), and then this part: Lila nods. “Oh, God,”. Was there supposed to be something after the “Oh, God”? But I’m pretty obviously grasping at straws here, so good job!
Overall: 9.75
Zactastic Corner:[]
01:
Merp. So let's start with..... the theme? Yes, yes the theme.
I think it's very umm, unique. But in a very... uh, how can I put this nicely....
Amazing way :D Yes. Yes. The theme is just so what the heck (Rhondaaaa <3) that it makes everything so amazeballs and I am REALLY curious as to what you are actually going to do with it. There are endless possibilities, and I am secretly hoping for a Heidi Klum(m?) cameo of some sort because she has such a cute little accent. And she could be the villain, trying to destroy the show because #Competition....
Anywho like I was saying there are SO many possibilites. It's just really going to come down to whether or not you can keep your very hyperbolic writing up, to keep the TD theme going. Everything so far has been an overexageration, and I think that's why I'm loving the idea of the story so much right now!
Next up are the hosts. I love Chip so very much. He is everything I have ever wanted in a host. And Whatever the other girls name is amazing too~ They make such an interesting pair, they actually remind me of Team Rocket for lord Maple knows why, but in a good way! Team Rocket is always out to get Ash and they come up with these creative and insane plots to do so, for some reason I feel like this is exactly what these two are doing! Everything they do, they do together, even if it means they are actually performing a voodoo sacrifice on all of the campers... Don't ask it's just my theory!!! My OTHER theory is that the hosts are best friends, and they just wanted to make a tv show so that Chip could propose to pinky... but I like the voodoo witchcraft one more tbh.
Merp. So I actually really enjoyed this chapter. The one thing I did not like, well one of two? Was that they took a boat. I don't know something about a boat just doesn't fit in with everything. but that's just because I'm being picky and because you're on chat saying that Canadians don't matter right now >_>. I would have loved to have seen the campers arrive via a giant limo, or a yatch. Or, or even air balloon- for inspiration ofcourse.
THE other thing I did not like was well more of a character thing. And it is usually just because I suck at character reading, and I have no clue what the difference is between Pietro and Travis. I THINK Travis is the cutesy flirty one, while Pietro is just the massive ego with a hot bod (whose true weakness is getting flicked on the nose?) But I'm not exactly sure..... PLEASE help me here.
Next I just want to quickly brush over some of the interactions, and my ideas for interactions... Where this is the intro chapter there isn't much to discuss so I leave it to idea making. Actual character opinions will be in the rankings...
Pietro and Travis. Please do not have these two interact unless you showcasing their differences. I say this simply so I never ever get confused on who is who ever again! But I also kinda wish they would interact again and only ever have wet shorts competitions.... atlast with Matilda around that may never happen.
Speaking of the mommy of the group, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN MY MOMENT YOU STUPID OLD PERSON... But it's okai, her flicking Pietro made me so happy on the inside, and I have no idea why (and Travis running away <3) Please continue her mom-lecturing these boys!! They will become perfect gentlemen, who just so happen to have wet shorts competitions...
Oh yes, I almost forgot about a missed oppurtnutyyt ebdjasbdhb ish I cant spell lord maple help me. RAMSEY DID NOT USE THE TENNESSEE PICK UP LINE ON VICKY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRR.
DANNI AND BETSY. Please continue this.. I don't really know WHAT this is. But just keep it going these two are just amazing together. And I feel like Betsy and ready to throw Danni into the volcanoe herself to sacrifice the chick to the voodoo masters of the island! Please continue them <333
Spence! He is just perfect. Please have him continue to flirt with the girls, and when that fails maybe have him flirt with Heath, and when THAT fails, have him flirt with Ramsey who is just like O_O. Pretty Please? With a cherry ontop!
Anyways... Im going to go do your rankings now <3 IM NOT MEAN. SO STOP SPREADING THAT NASTY RUMOUR GUYS !!!! ZacAttack Rawr 19:13, August 5, 2015 (UTC)
Sorry for taking so long to get back to you Zac but your comments make me feel all warm and fuzzy <3 I'm really glad you like the theme, first off! It was kind of decided on in a breath so at first I was worried about coming up with ideas, but it's getting easier and I think I have a way to (kind of) make your idea a reality. But you'll just have to wait and see for that c: Chip and Flutina probably have a lot more to do with what could happen in the story than most hosts, so you liking them is great <3
In my mind, the boat was basically a yacht. Whoops. I wanted something more open so I didn't feel as restricted in my writing like a limo would have made it (Does that make sense?) Travis and Pietro are pretty similar, but I think their differences come out in later chapters once I begin to flesh out their individual plots. Speaking of, I'm glad you liked their little competition... More may or may not happen later
Matilda is one of my favorites to write for lol. I'm happy you like her and she will definitely continue her lecturing. Sorry for missing the Tennessee pick up line, but if it's any consolation, you're the only ten I see right now ;) I'm super shocked you like Danni and Betsy so much! Their interaction was almost by default since they were the last two I needed to introduce, but I'm glad it didn't totally fall flat. And don't worry, it definitely continues in chapter two! ^^ Spence will be flirting with many things before the story's up.
Thanks so much, Zac! I'll comment on your rankings soon and hope you continue to enjoy <3 --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 13:07, August 10, 2015 (UTC)
(2)
Gonna start off with a few of the meta things about the story.
First of all, I really like the actual narrorotororro. I'm too tired to try and spell, don't judge me. They actually have a personality in your story, and it helps to make your story unique from others. In a way that Rhonda is known for not really having a fourth wall, you could be known for having an usual, but well-down choice in narration. To me, they add something to the story that really goes hand in hand with your writing style, and humour.
Speaking of. You have a very unique (much like most of the writers) sense of humour. While Toad uses a lot of Slap Stick, and Rhonda has thought-out humour, you use a lot of meta ? IDK the term. When I say that, you use jokes like, my favourite scene in the scene with the stairs being the arch nemisis. As well as jokes/insults against Avery/Ramsey. As a whole, I really do enjoy it. It's very you, and helps make the story stand out in comparison to a lot of the other stories.
Moving on... to let's say the receptionist. Although HIGHLY unlikely. I'd like it if the receptionist came into play at some point in the story. It could have been a nice foreshadowing from this chapter that could easily be used later on. Maybe someone kidnapped them, and the teams have to find a way to rescue her. Or maybe she's secretly a voo doo worshiper and was busy sacrificing Spence.
As you can tell. I may or may not like Spence. In fact, I may have a big "EWWWWWWY" written beside his name in my notebook. In fact, I may have a seperate page dedicated to writing all the ewwwy things about him. I would list them all, but I'm far too lazy to do that. Instead, whenever you see the letters S, P, E, N, C, E in that order, I wrote something into my notebook. While I am sure you WANT him to be ewwwy. He just makes me cringe everytime, so good job on that. If you wanted him to be some kind of underdog sob story, I'm sorry but he's far too ewwwy.
Speaking of, Spence x Gretchen x Travis. WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT. In fact, that was the best? part of Spence. But that's gone now. I don't really know where you want to go with him now. I could see him and Travis getting into bro-fights, that people would try and break up. I could see Gretchen playing both of the boys against each other, causing their team to lose. It could have been really interesting. But then again, you did eliminate someone who was relevent to the plot... but we'll talk about this later.
I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN ALFRED WAS ADBUCTED. I thought that someone was finally going to be voodoo sacrificed, and why not have it be one of my least fav. characters in your story? And then I realized a little while later that it was actually Pietro who grabbed him? Or I'm assuming, I don't know if I'm too tired to understand, or if it wasn't very clear. Either way I still found it rather funny, but maybe next time could you have him sacrficed?
I feel like, for some reason I think this story is a LOT darker than what it actually is? I swear this island is cursed, and voo doo based. But, nothing in the story backs it up? So like, when they were looking at the paintings I was WAITING for the eyes to follow the contestants, but they never did and then I got really sad :( But I HOPE you do a horror episode because I feel like the whole Elegant, Expensive, but Abadoned hotel would really lead into the theme.
Danni and Betsy. Danni is your best character hands down. No one is even close. But that's more of a me thing, and me being madly in love with her. She makes me SO happy every single time she's around. I think the best part of her is the strict contrast she has with Betsy. Again, I think my reading comprehension is like at a grade 2 level right now, but there's a scene where Betsy puts her hand over Danni's mouth to stop her from saying something? I don't have a clue why she did this. I think it has somethign to do with her accent? Also, if Betsy actively tries to find Danni a new Best Friend, in front of Danni, and Danni starts to thank Betsy for being such a good friend, I think I'll lose it.
Ramsey and the confessional was really interesting. I feel like Ramsey SHOULD get more screen time, he's one of the better and stronger characters, and I would like to see him have a story of some sort. On that note, I just love his one-liners, and how mean the narrototorro is to him ! Keep it up <3
Uggguh. I feel bad because this comment is really rough, I'm so tired and my ability to think is slowly fading xx. NEXT on the notebook; the challenge. Which I loved. And I think it was a really clever and cute and funny way of bringing back the casting process, and a look into the minds of the contestants. The cat walk was AMAZING. And I feel like this is one of the only times I have liked Heath- though I wish he shoved Ramsey off the stage, rather than being a chicken and having him run off. And the pasta flopping was <3333
The elimination format <3 I used somethign similiar in Blossoming and I loved it. It really opens up a lot of potential heart-breaking, and other emotional scenes in the last chance challenge. Where maybe a couple is forced to compete for their spot. Or arch rivals, or complete strangers. Or Friends, who make a pact to eliminate xxxx. It just leads itself so well into plot building.
Quickly before I talk about Plot. I REALLY hate that you got rid of Gretchen, I feel like you could have eliminated the cheffy boy and it still would have felt very ~complete~ in terms of first boots. Eliminating Gretchen feels like something that will come back to haunt you....
BECAUSE. Let's talk story. This might be because I'm too tired and can't understand anything, but I feel like there really wasn't any? The only story that was happening as a whole, I feel was Spence - Gretchen - Travis. And you just eliminated the major part of that. Now all you have is Spence is a massive arse to everyone. Asides from that I don't think anything was really started, which could be a problem. It's okai for the first few chapters, but after that, we know WHO the characters are, we know their humour, so we need some kind of story to build that up. Right now, the only story based elimination you can have, is Spence and or Travis going home. (And MAYBE Danni or Betsy) but asides from those four, there isn't a justified character. So if a character suddently gets a story in the next chapter, it makes it more obvious that they will be going home.
All of that being said I really do enjoy the story, the humour is on point! And it has a fun theme, and ideas. All you need to do is add in some story elements and it will be top notch <3 ZacAttack Rawr 01:18, November 13, 2015 (UTC)
I feel kind of bad :x but thanks for reading even still <333 It means a ton! Onto your comments~ I totally get what you mean with the narrator and all. When I write I kind of shoot for a campfire-story sort-of narration, if that makes sense, so I'm glad you like it. It's funny you mention the receptionist, because I do have plans for one to appear eventually, though I'll leave you guessing as to what their actual role is. If I remember correctly, Spence was one of your favorites from the last chapter, so I'm kind of surprised to see such a big drop for him but also glad because he's written to be a pompous, arrogant a-hole most of the time (when I'm not making a joke off him). I have a soft spot for underdogs, but Spence is definitely not one of them. c:
A horror episode is actually a really good idea! At the risk of giving away too much, there may ore may not be plans for a few of the contestants to explore the hotel's other floors, which could fit a horror theme quite nicely I imagine. I'm shocked Danni out of everyone is your favorite, considering during the second chapter I had a hard time fitting her in and feel like I kind of ignored her compared to others. But yay <33 Betsy and Danni will have more interactions to come, though in the third chapter they do diverge a little to interact with the other contestants. (Judging from your comments now, I think you'll either really love or really dread on of the new interactions.)
Ramsey definitely gets a plot of his own starting in the next chapter or so, so you'll definitely get to see more of him. (<3 thanks for liking the challenge because I wasn't too confident in it after a while lol) And it's funny you mention it, but after having a few months to mull it over eliminating Gretchen may not have been the best move overall. But I can't say I regret it too much yet, since I feel like it did open that plot up to more possibilities.
You have a point about plot-- the next story's elimination may be obvious in that regard. But next chapter is where a lot of the plots start up/get kicked off I feel like (I could probably list them here for you but spoilers). There's also the overarching story that hasn't gotten too much depth yet (I can't let it progress too fast, obviously) Thank you so so so so much for your comment Zac (and sorry if I made you feel obligated to comment; last night was just annoying in general) It means a lot <3 --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 13:06, November 13, 2015 (UTC)
OK IM LATE I KNOW IM SORRY FRIEND. (3)
FIRST LETS START WITH MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER DANNI! I am actually low key falling in love with her and wishing that we used her and Spence for Twinnig instead of Chadd and Heath (BLAH). IDK why you keep metaing her as boring because I find her to be so fun and cute and adorable and interesting! I am really loving this new direction she is taking with Spence! Although I wasn't a big fan of him before I am low key really starting to like him this chapter. He's just really interesting? IDK there's something about him that is drawing me to him, although it might just be the fact he's with Danni now. SO THANK YOU TRAVIS FOR SETTING THIS ALL UP! I love how cocky the two guys were about it! I am kinda hoping that Spence does everything he can now to make sure Danni stays safe! The ending scene in the chapter made me fall in love with her character, so thank you <3
Vicky was killing it again in this chapter so I am really excited to see where she ends up going. I love how she just doesn't take anything from anyone and just ends up in awks situations. I.e the nude situation, as awell as the more recent Matilda-gate scne which was <333. And I love how she just noped the duck out of it and walked away haha.
OK SO I 100% REGRET AGREEING TO HAVE CHADD AND HEATH ON THE TWINNING PROJECT THE PAIR IS SO ANNOUYING AND GROSS LORD HAVE MERCY. They have a fun interaction, but it's really ew, like I find thrm so WTH weird and I just can\t like either of them. IDK, but I just can't appreciate the pairing. I DID like how it kinda decided who ended up winning the challenge though? Like thaat was nice. But I can not say that I am upset at the loss of Chadd. GOOD RIDDANCE.
Chapter-ly comment on how adorable and amazing the hosts are <3
MATILDA is QUICKLY becoming amazing TBH. Everything she did this chapter was really great and I think she's in my top 3 now! In my rankings I had hopes that she would do exactly what she did this chapter. MAKE PEOPLE HATE HER! Which is great because she\'s just such a fun member of the cast! Everything with her and Karen/Vicky was amazing in this chapter so THANK YOU.
Pietro and Aflredo Sauce was great! I appreciate this duo. Although its very what the heck!? I think that they are are going to be an interesting duo moving on, but I think Pietro is going home next? IDK.
RAMSEY IS SLAYING IT THIS CHAPTER. HE WAS SO BLAND THE FIRST TIME AROUND BUT LIKE HES TOP NOTCH. He might be my #2 character as of this chapter! Betsy biting his ear made me die! And everythign between him and Lila was REALLY cute. I love how the ring ended up near the pairing and Ramsey failing. I think he owes Lila a drink!
As a side comment I REALLY like your style of writing. And IM WORRIED for the next chapter because you say it's longer. One of the really nice things about it is that the humour is concise and very total-dramay. IDK how a longer chapter will effect that. BUt I do know that as of now it's super good! And I can not wait for more of the story!
I am hoping for a mini Vicky-Lila-Ramsey triangle? IDK I feel luike Ramsey would be so <333 in the middle of all of that?
ZacAttack Rawr 22:21, July 2, 2016 (UTC)
Chat[]
Write your comments below, assuming those are still a thing. --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 21:55, June 3, 2015 (UTC)
Looking forward to this! The cast seems great, I like all of them tbh. Danni queen must win tho. <3 "I'll drive up and I'll kill you in your shitty little apartment. And I'll drive over to my club and that'll be it." "That was really nice... I don't have a shitty apartment." 02:15, June 4, 2015 (UTC)
This is great! The characters are all unique and despite playing very different roles, they mesh amazingly together, which gives the story both hilarious and smooth dialogue! I also think the set is really cool, and almost everything the hosts say is either intriguingly mysterious or oddly hilarious. Shockingly, my favorites are Vicky, High-Heel Heath, and Lila, rather than myself. Great story, I'm definitely going to keep reading! STICK TO THE PLAN- Keith Nale 21:28, June 10, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for the comment, Fire! <3 Glad you like it, and there's definitely a reason to be revealed behind the hosts :) --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 22:09, June 10, 2015 (UTC)
Honestly, great first chapter, Reddy! Like Avery said, the dialogue is really smooth and everything flows well, and I especially loved the transition between introductions. I really like Chip and Flutina (<3 @ them having a panic attack), and my favorite characters are probably Vicky, Heath and Danni! My FAVORITE part, however, was actually probably the setting. I don't know why, but I just really love the concept of a hotel with a little gathering square in the center... I don't know. Either way, I loved this chapter, so keep the rest coming! :) •Sunslicer2• The air is too fresh. It's disgusting. 19:50, June 11, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks a ton, Sunny! Chip and Flutina are really fun to write for and I can't wait to flesh them out more along with the rest of the cast. Vicky and Heath are getting a lot of love, and I love writing for Danni lol. The whole setting may actually play a big part later on. ;) Thanks for the feedback! --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 19:56, June 11, 2015 (UTC)
First of all I just want to address that this theme is absolutely great. I've never read a script that was based around a reality show featuring fashionistas, additional points for originality. I agree with the previous comments that the story flows really well and even though this cast is very diverse in personality, they blend very well. My favourites so far are Vicky and Heath, but I'm interested in Lila, she seems like a Dawn-esque character, but hopefully with a better ending than she ended up having! I'll definitely try to keep up to date with this story, Nice job Reddy! 
IcicleIllusionist 20:21, June 11, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks Liam! I know next to nothing about fashion either, so it oughta make for some hilarious things to write about. Lila is one of my faves to write for and I hope you like what I have in store for her :D --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 20:23, June 11, 2015 (UTC)
I despised your chapter. jk it was great. I loved the way you introduced everyone, and I already have some clear favorites. Despite the fact that you used present tense, I felt that the episode really had a flow, and I love the unique setting and the fact that there are background citizens at the filming location. MATILDA AND HEATH SLAY MEEEEE. I thought the dialogue was great, nothing felt too slow or rushed, and the concept is genuinely unique!! ~ RPs&Blogs!♪ Dakota ♫Talks&Edits! 01:54, June 12, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks Dakota! Heath getting lots of love lol. Matilda will definitely be causing some conflict as well. Glad you liked the chapter. :) --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 02:00, June 12, 2015 (UTC)
Stop slaying my life, Reddy. The title for the fic really fits because it's easy to read and a breeze. The characters are beautiful too <3 Seriously though, I love this story so much. The cast all have personality and the lines you write for them are A++, so... write worse and stop trying to outshine me. Chapter 2 was A-MA-ZING! Okay, I love Chip and Flutina so much. They have a ton of chemistry and are both bae. Lila/Karen/Heath/Ramsey/Alfred/Gretchen were awesome this chapter. While I'm distraught by the boot, it made sense with everything that went on. Cannot wait to read more! -- Ashley Hikari (talk) 01:17, August 2, 2015 (UTC)
Thansk so much Ash <33 I'm realy glad you like the story so far! If you liked those guys this time around, I think you'll like what I have in store for them coming up. And no worries, the boot's influence doesn't stop after this chapter. Thanks so much! :D --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 01:27, August 2, 2015 (UTC)
Really liking this story so far. Ramsey and Alfred are just so entertaining to me, and I think that Gretchen was a pretty good first boot. Keep up the good work! My awesomeness level is over 90-*shot* (talk) 21:53, August 2, 2015 (UTC)
Oh my goodness, these two chapters were so good. I love Ramsey, Gretchen, Spence, Betsy, and Karen, meaning I was saddened by Gretchen's elimination. I loved some of the things said by the characters (Travis' Gieco line), and the characters all had their development going on. This story kept me entertained all throughout the story, and I never took my eyes off of reading it. I hope that this can continue to florish and grow into a great story in the future, and I'm really excited for future chapters. Overall, there weren't any problems with the story that I saw, so that's a plus, and none of the characters were in my hatred list so that's always good. Keep up the good work Reddy!
Oh this is a short review. I can see our stars. ☆ 23:13, August 3, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks so much Jack/Kvng! I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story so far! The characters you both mentioend are set to get some more plots soon, so I think you'll like them more. :) --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 23:28, August 3, 2015 (UTC)
Just read chapter 1, and it was pretty great! I love the theme, it's quite unique (well, for fanfics) and interesting. And the hosts, I love original hosts (well, if they have a personality and stuff), and I loved these two, they're such a great duo. <3 Loved the cast as well! They have a mix of weird, exaggerated and funny personalities, with some being unique and some being somewhat typical but still work great, and then there are the interactions, which I'm really looking foward for some you foreshadowed in this chapter. Matilda/the buff dudes and Betsy/Danni, which were personally two of my favorites, plus Vicky/Ramsey and Spence/Gretchen, which I'm also looking foward to. Anyway, it was just a great first chapter, and I'm definitely looking foward to more. ^-^ "I'll drive up and I'll kill you in your s**tty little apartment. And I'll drive over to my club and that'll be it." "That was really nice... I don't have a s**tty apartment." 21:50, August 12, 2015 (UTC)
Just finished the first chapter, and I'd have to say my favorite characters are the hosts themselves. I love it when someone other than Chris is the host, and that person is actually an interesting character who adds to the fic instead of just explaining the challenge. I really like your writing style, too, the description was fun and over-the-top and easy to read. It wasn't overbearing but it still painted a picture, so it wasn't just completely dialogue. My favorite characters are Vicky, because anyone that channels their inner Lana Del Rey earns a gold star from me, Matilda, because she needs to be the OTTN-hag that makes it to the end, and Heath, because you actually made him perform instead of just using gay lingo, so A+ for accuracy. Some other minor favorites of mine are Betsy (her accent is cute, albeit hard to read at times), Gretchen (who needs to destroy Spence), and Danni (who has another layer, by being overly sensitive, instead of just the generic hyper chick). Really, the only forgettable people were Pietro and Travis, but I pretty much loved everyone else. Also, I like how there's a plot outside of the reality show, since I'm eagerly awaiting for it to be solved soon. Like, why does the small island have big buildings? And why will be expelled if they talk to any crew members that they see walking around, what's the harm done? These are both questions that immediately hooked me in, and has made for a wonderful and compelling story thus far! Can't wait to read more! --The brains needed a body. We found our zombies, now we're in. 05:43, August 17, 2015 (UTC)
This episode was so good OMG. Betsy is honestly becoming a favorite for me, and that's amazing. She absolutely dominated this episode, and I knew that she would win that ring tossing challenge because she's a country girl. Lila and Ramsey were so cool this episode and I wanted to see them becoming more of friends, and Ramsey trying to flirt was <3. Danni and Spence is an interesting duo, and I'm kind of excited to see where you go with them. They remind me of Donna and Sebastian from TDI:FYE a lot. Chadd was annoying this episode, and Heath actually got a little better. Travis was pretty chill this episode, and Pietro actually did great. He won for his team and that was good to see. Alfred wasn't as annoying as the last chapter, and Karen actually did a partial 180 this episode. I loved the way she decided to jump atop the maze, but like she got a little bit annoying because she was trying to sabatoge Besty and I wouldn't want that to happen. Matilda and Vicky were goddesses and Matilda's teeth falling out was hilarious. Vicky abandoning the group was also cool to read.
Overall, this episode was a really good episode. I actually enjoyed the boot this time, and thought that they should have gone this time. I did notice a few mistakes and those were you called maze "mage" once, and you spelled around as aroudn. Other than that the chapter was fine and I can't wait to read more chapters! :) I can see our stars. ☆ 05:30, November 9, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for the commentary Kvng <3 I'm glad everyone seems to be improving for you, and that the boot wasn't as tragic as last chapter (people seem to be split on Chadd tbh). I had a lot of fun with Betsy this chapter, so I'm glad you like her. Alfred getting less focus this chapter will probably help him with readers is my guess. And there's a lot more to show with the Spence/Danni dynamic that will show up in later chapters. Also thanks for pointing out the typoes; I try to catch them as best I can but some always slip through. Thanks so much! --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 05:41, November 9, 2015 (UTC)
Sorry for the wate, but I've finally commented on the first chapter!
The introduction was so vivid and was a very good hook. I also just enjoy the imagery you create, including with the two hosts <3
Speaking of, there names are so Hollywood its amazing. And I’m curious to see what their relationship is. And who are they not sure they should have brought :O I’m assuming the cast that doesn’t care for fashion but what do they need them for regarding the island? And what is this Island? Definitely an interesting hook…
(My personal fan theory is that it is Chris and Chef having done plastic surgery to hide their identities and hide from the law :p)
Oh. My. Gosh. Vicky’s diary entry was such a clever way to introduce her and top tier! Also, I’m shipping her and Ramsey, who is an awkward pumpkin <3
And no fanfiction is complete without some hot guys flexing ;3 Matilda is also a badass! xD I love she just beat up Pietro with a flick of the nose.
“Like getting a Tumblr?” Karen suggests. xDDD This joke just felt really funny to me. Karen is very chill.
Is it wrong I kind of like Spence? He’s just such a hilarious douche. Also, I notice you say Spence sighs, but do you mean Gretchen.
Heath does sound like Heather :O I enjoy Heath’s overly dramatic actions xD And Danni is already top tier with her fast talking! And I liked how you handled Total Drama’s fate…by just making the audience feel they should know :p
Also, something tells me Betsy maybe an antagonist…
And so we arrive! I also not sure to feel about the line about interacting with crewmembers; it feels like foreshadowing. And why does Chip want to keep an eye on them? What is he hiding D:
The teams thing feels unusual too, but I’m actually really glad there are teams <3 The team divisions seem pretty interesting too; based on the conflicts the Killer Catwalks seem more interesting but we’ll have to see.
Also, I love the parallelism of this sentence; “Ramsey smiles awkwardly, Danni smiles obnoxiously, and Spence smiles smugly.” Its just very strong rhetoric and I wanted to put it out.
And the hosts exchange brief, worried looks? I could understand being worried since honestly half the cast has no real interest in fashion and the other half aren’t very fashionable. But then why put them on the show? Unless they didn’t want to and it was due to higher ups…Are they worried about how this show could affect the fashion world? (though I’m not sure of the impact it would have).
Overall, it was an outstanding first chapter! Wonderful set up in introducing the characters, which all have very fun personalities. The mystery of Flutina and Chip (unless I’m just overanalyzing, which has happened before) is very intriguing and I can’t wait to see how this plays out! What could possibly go wrong? 03:57, November 24, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks so much for your comment, Rhonda! Thew first chapter definitely foreshadows things to come (kind of obviously, as the other chapters do currently). Love your theory about the plastic surgery, feels came right off my planning page itself! I'm glad you like Vicky (I'm sad to say I feel like I've undersold her in the recent chapter(s)) and her friendship with Ramsey might get some more development. Though there may be a different ship in the works involving Ramsey...
The hot guys flexing is basically a staple of any story I write. Karen's probably one of my favorite characters to write for in the cast, so read from that what you will. And lots of people like Spence (at least in chapter one) so it's not weird at all. In Spence's case there's an endless line of comic material to use for him, even if he's not relevant to a chapter all the time. Like I told you on chat, I love your theories regarding the island's mysteries, and there is definitely an ulterior motive for Chip & Flutina behind the show itself. But are they the story's real villains? Or maybe Betsy has something to do with it?
The cast's disinclination to fashion is partly my own fault when creating characters, but will be addressed somewhere. Nothing that a good ol' Freudian excuse can't fix! I hope you like the rest of the story once you get to reading it, and even in the first few chapters there's a few subtle hints as to what's going on (hints that will turn into reread bonuses, obvs) Thanks so much for your comment and I can't wait to return the favor! <33 --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 13:12, November 24, 2015 (UTC)
I've read both of the most recent chapters, and I loved both! :D Before commenting on them, I gotta say I love Chip and Flutina's chemistry, I think they are really funny as hosts and as a duo. <3
(2): I love Betsy and Danni's "friendship". They are really funny together. I'm really liking Spence and Travis's interactions (more on that later). The scene with Ramsey discovering the confessional was hilarious, and the "Sweet Tennessee twinks getting creamed on a Sunday!" quote made me laugh OUT LOUD. Really liked the challenge, referencing the characters' bios into the story somehow is something I always like, and making it into a challenge is quite creative. I love Vicky! The final results was funny. Gretchen leaving was kinda predictable, but I'm glad she did over Alfred. <3 (And Helen >>>> her shm :/).
(3): And here I can say, I really like Spence and Travis' friend-enemy-ship-rivalry. I'm looking foward to more of that, and of course, SpenceXDanni. The entire scene with Matilda vs Karen was hilarious. They are both hilarious, and Matilda's quotes are hilarious. And then when Vicky appeared in the end. lol Pietro is also pretty funny, teaching Alfred about "manliness". <3 Mister Scarroway was great, so was the spit contest with Besty. lol The challenge was great, all those pairs worked really well. Loved the Lila/Ramsey scene. Vicky just going away from Matilda. lol And Betsy vs Heath/Karen was hilarious, what a psycho Betsy is. <3 Really liked the Chadd/Heath friendship, and I'm sad about Chadd leaving. But oh well. Looking foward to the next chapter. :D The sky's a little bit gray but in a beautiful way, and you're not too far away. 23:18, November 24, 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for much for comment Bruno <3 I'm really glad you seem to like most of the cast so far! Chip & Flutina have much more to come. Spence and Travis is a fun dynamic to write for, and it's pretty central at the moment so I'm glad it's not off putting like I thought it might be. Vicky kind of took a back seat in these two chapters, but she's definitely going to come back to being relevant soon. And Gretchen is obviously better than Helen, what is wrong with you? Smh.
Spence & Danni are just getting started, as are Matilda & Karen. I'm glad you liked the humor I tried in this chapter, since it was more character driven than plot driven this time around. Chadd & Heath likely would've been more than friends had Chadd not thrown the challenge for reasons that will be explained later. Again, thanks so much for the comments! <33 --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 04:59, November 25, 2015 (UTC)
Guess who finally commented :p
(2) I enjoyed the contrast with the hotel and the way it was played up. It was very funny and again, another wonderful description.
“…being faced with twenty-first century humanity’s greatest arch nemesis:” XDDD That maybe one of the funniest and most accurate lines ever.
Gretchen is like one of the…well witches with a b you see again in reality shows; no wonder everyone loves her xD I enjoy her interaction with Travis.
And I may ship Alfred and Pietro :3 Enjoyed Pietro and Lila’s little exchange.
The royal hall sounds so amazing, and I love the hosts of portraits of themselves hanging everywhere. The narrative maybe my favorite thing about EBB, it’s just so clever; “Well, technically he is staring up, since Travis has at least six to seven inches on him. But that’s not important.” Also, Spense is such a pitiful little fool xD
Hmm…so Heath doesn’t always dress in drag? I’m trying to imagine that…is his hair naturally long or does he wear a wig?
Danni is a cutie queen and I enjoy her and her motor mouth! Her and Besty’s ‘friendship’ is shaping up to be one of my favorite interactions so far. And Besty’s accent is fake? Hmm…she’s said to be a secret communist…is she a Russian spy?
I used an elevator for a confessional too! Great minds think alike ;)
“Sweet Tennessee twinks getting creamed on a Sunday!” Oh my.
Also, I kind of wish I saw Karen and Matilda interact xD I’m interested to see Karen’s nudism become more prevalent.
“Let’s not cloud the issue with facts here…” That may become my new siggy. Also, yay Vicky’s sarcasm <3
And woah! I love that you used the contestants bios/profiles for this challenge! Nice foreshadowing. I guess grass isn’t practical material, but I imagined Lila thought it was an actually nice material. Was she being sarcastic when she put it down?
Also, Lila and Alfred both goofing…I’m kind of shipping him too. The Fashion Faceoff sounds like a really fun idea! A nice way to have strategy and voting that I enjoy in a reality show but a nice way to allow certain contestants to stay and makes since that in this show, the goal is to be the best fashion designer.
These team interactions are super funny. I love Pietro takes out of the box so literally. Also yay more Vicky sarcasm! Karen also really stood out this scene, she’s like a hippy mom! I love mom characters <3 Also I thought this was really clever;
“No,” Karen answers, a proud smile forming on her face. “No he’s not."
And oh god, Spence is the leader? They’re the doomed ones x|
Gretchen is right. I have a feeling Alfred won’t go home, but he is not doing his team any favors. Vicky is also still wonderful! And an abandoned noodle shop…no one is at any of these places, was there a natural disaster or a serial killing or something? Is this like a cult, and everyone voted off going to be sacrificed X_X
Ramsey’s occasional little lines are great; I’m sure his weaving is fabulous. Betsy you slay Spence and his pompous ass, it was starting to annoy me. And Lila is such a sweetheart <3
I can see Heath wanting to be the model, but Ramsey strikes me as an odd choice, but a funny one. Chip and Flutina are an amazing duo together; you know there aren’t any other duo hosts I can think of in other shows, so I think Chip and Flutina stand really well out in that regard and have a wonderful new dynamic.
Oh gosh, I love Chip and Flutina’s digs at Ramsey xD And Heath adopts another drag queen persona? xDDD I love that he kills it! Too bad it causes the toga to fall apart…
Hmm…what is Karen’s plan? Woah :O To vote out Gretchen! I’m guessing (by which I mean I read in the character pages) that its because Gretchen admitted to not really caring about fashion…but I feel like most of them don’t care about fashion at all xD
I guess that could get Heath and maybe Pietro likes Alfred so that could get him…
Gretchen this is not the time to be picky you dingus, your in a fashion-faceoff! It was an enjoyable exchange, and I thought it was interesting how a whole team came out to remove their outfits.
Overall, I liked Gretchen but she wasn’t one of my favs (I might have liked her more last chapter, my memory is a bit hazy…) but her sass wasn’t too present. She was a queen though :3
I do feel bad for her as while Alfred couldn’t be held as responsible for the material, he did cook the noodles wrong :/ Still, I’d prefer for him to stay as he seems to have a more interesting story.
This was such a fun chapter with funny moments and I’m really enjoying the characters too! I think the Killer Catwalks are my favorite team, due to have more characters I like/interactions I enjoy.
(3)
Oh my gosh, opening with Spense and Travis was such a great idea! I loved how it built up and played out xD
“As the wheels turn and turn in his heads, an evil, hellish grin emerges across his face. A look so sadistic, so diabolical, that the Devil himself might have been scared.”
This was another great description, though you said heads and I don’t think that’s what you meant.
Very clever of Travis to trick Spense into flirting with Danni. And Vicky is still slaying!
“I share a room with a frumpy old hag and a nudist.” That is also a line worth being a signature (though I hope we do get some nude Karen shenanigans soon!)
“I’d say he’s the one I trust the most, and I’d love to be here with him the entire time!” LOL, Chadd is going home because you said that Heath :p
I just enjoy how Chadd talks, he hasn’t done anything that crazy at this reading of his confessional, but his way of speaking convinces me he is.
“…as is usually the case with crustacean-based humor.”
Heath and Chadd have an adorable friendship <3 (and maybe ship?)
*Claps for nude Karen! It wasn’t shenanigans but I’ll take it. Also, Matilda really loves oatmeal xD Matilda and Karen’s interaction was great (Matilda can really sass, maybe even more than Gretchen) and I’m wondering if Karen is onto something.
I agree with Karen in that certain behaviors maybe deemed unacceptable between different people given culture, age and morality. But it sounds like she’s implying Matilda has a dirty secret…also how Vicky ended that scene was wonderful!
And so Pietro did vote for Alfred! :O (I’m assuming he knows this based on Pietro’s reactions). Which makes me think the votes for Alfred were all not from Karen, Alfred himself and Heath.
Really though, it wasn’t strategic as much as luck (and Gretchen’s snobby nature) in the Fashion face-off. Really, it seems like the most sound option would’ve been to vote for someone who would be easier to eliminate in a Fashion Face-off, maybe Matilda?
I am excited to see more Alfred and Pietro now! Also, Betsy has an amazingly written southern accent. Betsy is just amazing southern.
Hmm…this is a weird challenge. Its obvious that this Mr. Scarroway didn’t just happen to be visiting. And that corn maze wasn’t always there, but I see production having just added it. Or is this island like Pakithew Island?
“Life’s not about the hard questions, Vicky…” xDD that is another wonderful quote on par with Chip’s other statement. These hosts slay!
I’m guessing everyone chose their own pairs then? Ramsey and Lila are being seen often together…I might have to ship the two of them, especially since Ramsey and Vicky haven’t interacted together much… Chadd and Besty are also a strange pair, wonder why they didn’t chose Travis? I also love he was thrown in a corn costume xD
Lila is so precious <3 You meditate girl! Karen does seem to be the most strategic character out there (maybe next to Travis) and I enjoy her plan. ALSO YES TOPLESS KAREN! YESSSSS!
Spence is such a loser, but his confessional was very funny! I saw him mention vape, and I was like “maybe that means something else than what I think it does…” but nope.
Danni was very cute in that scene xD She deserves better >_> Her talkative nature is very fun and well written though. Matilda and Vicky’s scene was rather fun too, Matilda’s anger just being over the top and silly.
Karen’s adventurous spirit is so fantastic. I enjoy that Chadd and Heath end up competing against each other, and Betsy has the competitive spirit to cause the tension so it makes sense Chadd and Betsy are partners from a story perspective.
“About the lobster or the cereal bowls?” xDD
I love Betsy’s aggressive nature! And I didn’t expect that vape mention to be used again but it was great! I also enjoyed Pietro’s dialogue to Alfred, very hilarious.
“Cut to the cowgirl promptly hurls the both of them over one of the maze walls.” XDDDDD Betsy is a slaying machine. Serisouly, I didn’t expect that lasso but dang.
Oh Chadd, you are getting the nice guy next to be sent home edit so bad, but I love you for it! And oh my gosh, I literally died when the ring appeared to Lila! That was a ingenious joke idea for her meditating to work! I’m clapping right now. Makes me somewhat bummed Pietro stole it :/
It was an interesting move on Betsy’s part to send herself to the Fashion Face-off, but a pretty clever strategy as Betsy has proven herself not only to be a challenge beast but the strongest contestant (be jelly Pietro).
Betsy’s strength, Chadd’s edit, and the fact that Betsy seems to have more to character we haven’t makes it clear its Chadd’s time to go. I’m not dissing that of course; it’s a good story for Chadd, will be an interesting development for the future and officially cements Betsy’s status as the villain. (And I’m horribly obvious about who I send home…)
Overall, I liked Chadd and his friendship with Heath and his snappy dialogue but he wasn’t my favorite. The Fashion Face-Off was clever, and I’m guessing all the face offs will tie in to the main outfit/accessory/fashion thing used for each challenge (last time was outfits, this time rings, next time nail polish…)
You know ring toss is a lot like horseshoe toss, so this one Betsy has in the bag. I also enjoyed she played dirty, very nasty. It was a nice touch to have Danni hug Betsy like that. Hmm…what did Chadd have Lila say? (Also Lila supporting Chadd is so sweet, omg stop being so sweet <3)
Oh my gosh. That last scene it just cracked me up so hard! xDDDDDDD
Overall, I really loved this chapter. It’d be hard to rank all the chapters, but I definitely laughed a lot at this one. I feel like I’ve gotten a feel for all the characters now and truthfully we’ve gotten a lot of interesting personalities and plenty of favorites left.
I’m really enjoying EBB so far. I think it has enough similar elements to a Total Drama fic but with enough differences (two hosts, special elimination procedure, a not often done theme) to keep it fresh. The characters are all likable, there’s not a single character I dislike, am indifferent to or haven’t enjoyed at some point, and all have good interactions. The humor is on point all the time and the narration is such excellently done. EBB just slays all around <3
NOW GO WRITE ME A FOURTH CHAPTER D:< 'What could possibly go wrong? 04:29, December 22, 2015 (UTC)
AAAAHHHH ILYSM <333 I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! Your comment makes me giddy tbh, it's so amazing <3 Thanks for taking the time to write so much! I'll just go through and answer some of your questions/reply to some of the points you made. ^^
Yeah, Heath doesn't dress in drag 24/7 (I don't think most drag queens do, either.) Mana drew a really nice pic of Heath out of drag, which you can find on his page! Lila's answer in her bio was serious, but she's still able to recognize when she's worked against herself. I ask for you to please not spoil the fact that everyone voted off is being sacrificed to the island gods; that's kind of important later on. Chip & Flutina are getting such a warm response <3333 I'm glad you like them! About the vote: since the top 2 vote-getters get to sent to the face-off either way, I didn't really make it concrete who voted for who. In my head, everyone except for Karen and Alfred voted for Alfred (some of the Alfred votes would have been reluctant, but justified.) Although if you want to believe Heath voted for Gretchen as well, you could make a case for it. XD
Also, the logic behind Karen's move: too many unknown. At this point, she didn't know how fashion-oriented the Face-Offs would be, and also didn't know how much expertise her teammates had in the fashion world. It came down to Gretchen because of their brief interaction before (or after? oops) the challenge.
In hindsight I did set up Chadd's demise pretty blatantly :x XD Karen could be onto something with Matilda; or it could just be her lawyery instinct working against her. And who knows; maybe Mr. Scarroway is just a distraction ;) I think I intended to imply the pairs were random, but I realize now I didn't quite make that clear. Oops, lol. Betsy's definitely one of the stronger contestants, and she's definitely... a villain. I'm glad I could make you laugh with Spence and Danni's final scene; I thought of it midway through writing and knew I had to use it somewhere. <3 Thank you so much for kind words/encouragement Rhonda <3333
Chapter 4 is in the works! ^^ --Oh, we don't own our Heavens now, we only own our Hell... 02:42, December 23, 2015 (UTC)