Judge Judy: Mr. McLean vs. Mrs. Fitzgerald:
It was a stormy day. New York City was raining, raining so much that everyone had to wear rain boots, and a trench coat. The New York City Courthouse was busy, and a stern, old woman named Judy Sheindlin was sitting in the judge’s seat.
An announcer in front of the courthouse said, “You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Judy Sheindlin . The People are Real. The CASES are Real. The rulings are FINAL. This is her courtroom. This is JUDGE JUDY”.
The bailiff say’s, “ALL RISE!”, and the witnesses rise from their benches.
A mid-aged redhead walks through the courtroom. She is the plaintiff. Her name is Helen Fitzgerald. She accused (this is why she is the plaintiff) the defendant for abusing children on national TV and accused him of refusing to pay her $15,000 dollars after he asked if he could borrow her money for funding the well-known series, known as Total Drama.
The defendant, Chris McLean is the current host for Total Drama. He claims that he is not a ‘boring, old woman’ like the plaintiff and claims he knows how to have fun. Witnesses for the defendant include Chef Hatchet.
The stern judge looks around the courtroom.
'Everyone SIT DOWN!', the judge observed.
‘So, Mrs. Fitzgerald, your suing the defendant for $15,000. You said that he borrowed $15,000 from you and never paid back. Is that correct?’, the judge asked.
‘Yes, your honor.’, Mrs. Fitzgerald, the plaintiff says proudly.
The defendant, Chris McLean immediately stood up, ‘That’s not true!’
Judy immediately barked her words of wisdom, ‘Did I ask you to speak?’
Chris said, ‘Ugh…’
Judy shook her head, ‘Ugh, is NOT an answer. Did I ask you to speak?!’
Chris said, ‘Well,…’
Judy pointed at Chris, ‘Keep it up, or your gonna GET OUT! GOT IT? Last time I checked, I didn’t ASK you to SPEAK! So,’
Chris continued to talk, regardless, ‘I was going to say..’
Judy was on her last nerve, ‘LISTEN TO ME! When I speak, you DARE not to interrupt. This is MY COURTROOM! Not yours! I’m the one who DECIDES on who should speak or not. This is NOT Total Drama. This is MY SHOW. So you better get OVER YOURSELF, you big BABY!’
Judy took a long, deep breath and looked at the plaintiff, curiously.
‘I’m sorry, ma’m. What were you going to say.’
‘I lended him $15,000 dollars..’
‘Why?’, the judge asked.
Mrs. Fitzgerald said, ‘Because Mr. McLean was having financial trouble. I know him from way back, we were both applying to be the Total Drama TV host. I was rejected because the producer’s thought I was too boring, so I went back to my old life.’, she sighed after saying this.
Judge Judy nodded slowly, ‘And you said that he abuses children ON AIR, is that correct, madam?’
Mrs. Fitzgerald nodded, ‘It is, your honor.’
Judge Judy said, ‘Do you have any PROOF?’Chef Hatchet laughed. He laughed so hard he was about to fall.
Judy furrowed her eyebrows, ‘What are YOU LAUGHING AT? YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? YOU THINK I’M HERE FOR JOKES?!
Chef Hatchet stopped and looked down.
But the judge didn't stop there, 'Look at ME! This is a COURTROOM, not a CIRCUS. Act serious in here, or I'll break your big NECK! GOT IT?'
Judge Judy's cheeks were turning red, fumes coming out from her ears. She was ready to fight today. She wasn't looking for any 'peacetime' in the courtroom, that's for sure.
Judge Judy looked back to the plaintiff, ‘Where’ the proof?’
Mrs. Fitzgerald pulled out a video DVD, ‘I’m not sure if this proof will be relevant, your honor. Since there is no form of video device in the courtroom, no TV.’
The bailiff, a warrant officer, dressed in tan and green, walked towards the judge to give her the tape.
Judy red the tape with her reading glasses, ‘Total Drama Island. Mrs. Fitzgerald, don’t worry. We have a monitor. It’s just HIDDEN.’
She hands the tape back to the bailiff and he plays the tape.
'Lindsay is a pretty girl who's not that bright, but you don't care because she's just SO HOT', Chris says in the tape.
The tape skips itself and redricts to Chris saying,
'We had a few explosives left over and I just hate to waste.'
Judy shook her head and told the bailiff, 'Stop the tape.'
The bailiff stopped the tape.
Judge Judy turned her head towards the defendant, Chris McLean.
Chris winked at the Judge and smiled.
Judy looked up at the ceiling and took off her reading glasses, ‘You’re a pervert, Chris. Did you know that?’
Chris shrugged, ‘Did I know what?’
Judy barked, ‘You better tell me the truth because I am much smarter than you are. GOT IT?’
Judy shrugged, ‘What are you doing? SPEAK TO ME! This is a courtroom. Your supposed to TALK!’
Chris said, ‘That footage was doctored and stuff.’
Judy said, ‘So that footage was doctored and stuff. WHAT STUFF?’
Chris answered, ‘I don’t know. Just stuff, I guess.’
Judy told Chris, ‘LISTEN TO ME! Don’t LIE TO ME! That footage was not doctored. I can tell whether footage was doctored or not!’
Chris tried to explain to the Judge, ‘But..’Judy ignored his plea, ‘Don’t but ME! Your STORY is a piece of bologna! And you KNOW what I do to liars in the morning? I eat them UP. I EAT LIARS FOR BREAKFAST!’
Chris told Judy, ‘I’m not lying.’
Judy shook her head, ‘Your lying… AGAIN! THAT FOOTAGE WAS NOT DOCTORED! You said that this 16 year old girl. You described her as being “hot”. She’s 16. Your what? 16 years older than she is. What’s your PROBLEM? I can’t believe how outrageous MEN can be these days!’
Mrs. Fitzgerald agreed by nodding her head, ‘I agree, your honor.’
Judge Judy told her, ‘You gave this untrustworthy guy MONEY. MONEY! What was going through your HEAD?’
Mrs. Fitzgerald explained, ‘He said he needed it for the Total Drama series. He was running out and because he was a businessman, I knew and had confidence that he would pay me back. He was so convincing.’
Judge Judy shook her head. While she did that, the camera went back to the front of the courthouse.
The Announcer said, 'Judge Judy will continue in a moment'.
The Announcer said after 5 minutes, 'Real People. Real CASES. Judge Judy.'
Judge Judy continued with proceedings.
'Does he LOOK LIKE SOMEONE TO BE TRUSTED TO YOU?', the judge asked the plaintiff.
Mrs. Fitzgerald said, 'We interviewed together for the same job. I don't see why I couldn't.'
The judge said, 'He didn't either bother to wear a SUIT in the courtroom. Look at HIM! He's wearing jeans and a shirt, thinking that he would SLIDE OFF THAT EASILY. YOU TRUSTED HIM!?'
Chris defended himself against the judge, 'Dude, chill.'
The judge immediatly attacked, 'WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? DID YOU CALL ME A DUDE? DO I LOOK LIKE A GUY TO YOU? YOUR AN IDIOT!'
Chris winked and gave a smile, 'Hey. At least I can take care of my bod and stuff.'
Judy told him, 'SHUT UP! This is a courtroom, not America's Next Top MODEL! Beauty fades, DUMB IS FOREVER. YOUR DUMB! YOU KNOW THAT. DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER?
Chris looked up the sky.Judy told him, 'Don't look up at the heavens. God is not going to help you with this case. Only the truth will set you free. YOU BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH, NOW!'
Chris nodded, 'I admit, I..... had a sorta relationship with Lindsay.'
Everyone in the courtroom gasped.
Judge Judy turned into an ox, even worse than Eva.
'You, sir, are a low-life, amoral piece of CRAP! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!'
Chef Hatchet stood up, 'Your honor, Mr. McLean here was just..'
Judy said, 'Just what? DON'T PEE ON MY LEG AND TELL ME IT'S RAINING! It's NOT GONNA WORK. Do we follow each other?'
Chef Hatchet pulled out a bundle of $100 dollar bills.
Judy said, 'WHAT? YOUR TRYING TO BRIBE ME? WHAT? NO! THIS IS NOT 'LET'S MAKE A DEAL'! THIS IS A COURTROOM. In fact, you know what, GET OUT.'
Chef Hatchet said, 'If you just'.
Judy told him, 'I said... GET... OUT. GO THROUGH THE MIDDLE HALLWAY AND GET OUT OF MY COURTROOM!'
Chef Hatchet stood up and left.
Judge Judy shook her head, 'You know, Mrs. Fitzgerald, I am SO DISGUSTED by the defendant. He's gonna pay you the $15,000. And Chris!'
Chris said, 'What?'
Judy told him, 'GROW UP! Judging for the plaintiff. You owe this lady $15,000. YOUR CONTRACT WILL NOT BE RENEWED. YOU WILL NOT BE THE TOTAL DRAMA HOST ANYMORE! I'm so ASHAMED! Mrs. Fitzgerald, don't give him money.. EVER! That's all.'
The end..... for now.