First Run Winners (July 2010 - December 2010, semimonthly cycle)
July '10 - “She used to be when she was three, but then we made her work out twenty hours a day. The other four were spent buying more work out equipment,” her father said proudly. - About Elian
July '10 - Katie didn't go for her marshmallow. "No! Sadie! Why her?"
Under her breath, Heather grumbled, "Because she's a 230 pound deadweight."
August '10 - "Good morning, everyone! Isn't today a beautiful day? It makes me want to walk up to the sun and give it a big hug!" - Fiona
"You would burn to death... If you didn't suffocate from lack of oxygen, first." - Kendall
- -- From Total Drama: Boney Island by Sprinklemist
August '10 - Ryan: "How the (bleep) can Tammi say she loves Nalyd, wants to go steady with him, get married to him, move to Brazil, then to Japan, and have 19 kids!? How is that possible?! (scoffs) Relationships are nothing but mindless distractions, and I'm not having any distractions with any of my alliance members!"
September '10 - Carter was dressed in a white blouse with a blue and white-checkered apron and pigtails. “Now I’m just like Brittney Spears!” Carter started doing an idiotic dance until Ronda ran over to him and slapped him.
September '10 - "I could just carry you to the User Creation Log, you know," Catherine said to Eric as they ran out of the Problem Reports Log.
Eric's eyes widened. "Th-the User Creation Log? I-isn't that where people...you know...make babies?"
"Oh, don't worry, we'll just be making out," Catherine shrugged, picking up a shocked Eric and walking away.
"Sounds good to me!" Eric's voice said quietly off-screen.
October '10 - “You’re leaving us?” Sunshine asked.
“Yes, I’m sorry,” Mr. Baffi said. “I know it’s always sad to hear that your favorite teacher is leaving.”
“Yeah, that would be sad if Miss McLean left,” Sunshine said. She shrugged and followed the other students, and the kangaroo, off the field.
October '10 - Ryan: "6 has always been a lucky number of mine. Plus, my parents say I have a keen sixth sense of luck. I can't explain it, but I was treated like a god when I was younger. I tossed a penny in a water fountain before and found 20 bucks 5 seconds later. Granted... I found them in some old dude's wallet and had to take it from him...... but I found it!"
November '10 - "Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin', Clementine!" Andrew sings. Francine leaps to her feet.
"Who is Clementine? Someone I should know about?" Francine grabs a startled Andrew by his shoulders, and shakes him. Francine shoves the intern out of her way, and knocks the televison to the ground, where it breaks.
"Hahaha..." she laughs, nervous and embarassed.
November '10 - Nothing else he could do? No, there was one more thing. He could see to it that she would not die alone. Granted, she would never know, but he thought it important, nonetheless.
December '10 - "I dont eat carbs, or trans fats." Ashley told everyone.
"You get, what you get!" screamed Maria.
Second Run Winners (October 2011 - June 2012, semimonthly cycle)
October '11 - "What will I have to do?" asks Lindsay, optimistic.
Chris opens the barrel. "Sit on it." The barrel is filled with leeches. Lindsay is disgusted. "If you stay on it for ten seconds, you pass."
"You're kidding, right?" asks Lindsay. "I can't sit on a barrel of leeches! I hate barrels! They are dirty, and wooden! I quit."
- -- from Jkl's Total Drama Island, by Jkl9817.
November '11 - “Dad? I’ve been thinking about something.”
“What’s that, sweetie?” asked her Dad.
“I was thinking about committing suicide,” confided Alyssa, “So I can escape the nightmare that is my life, and join you on the other side at last.”
“Sweetie,” soothingly said her dad, “You have so much life left to live. You have something we don’t. Don’t throw it away.”
“So I have to live only to fulfill an obligation to you?” Alyssa folded her arms. “Great, just great.”
November '11 - “But why bother stocking the lake with sharks?” asked Noah, who wasn’t the type to respect effort when a reasonably similar result could be had with less work. “Wouldn’t it have been a lot less labor to just let a luckless leaper live with the likelihood of leaving the land of the living as a light lunch for those allegedly legendarily large Leech Lake lampreys? Oh, silly me, it’s not like they’re actually real, LOL.”
December '11 - "Thank you so much for letting me use your computer, Julie," SG says, handing her back her purple laptop.
"No problem, Puddin," Julie says, taking back her computer and handing it to Sierra. "You didn't look at my Word documents, did you?"
"No," SG replies.
"What's on them?" Nellie asks, even though she doesn't really care.
"Oh nothing," Julie replies. "Just my alien master's plans for world domination. And my GROCERY SHOPPING LIST!"
December '11 - “Here ya go,” said Gull proudly as he presented the red stick to Loon. “Those two humans were the same ones that saved me from the neck-thing while my mate and I were working on our nest. We’ve got eggs now, so I’m glad they found me,” Gull stated with less agitation than when he’d talked this morning. “I’m really glad I got to see them again,” he concluded.
January '12 - In an incongruously tender gesture for such a gruff and hulking man, Hatchet lightly kissed Gwen on her brow, as a father might kiss a favorite daughter. Then, pulling up a stool, he sat down beside her to keep vigil, taking her hand gently in his. Not 20 seconds later, her indomitable spirit finally fled.
January '12 - Meanwhile, Chris and Chef are in the girls' cabin.
Chef tries on Andrea's bra, and Chris is putting on Tatiana's make up.
"Oh, Chef darling, you look just fantastique!" Chris says in a girlish voice.
"Ohahahaha, why thank you, lovely!" Chef responds, in an even girlier voice.
Jessica burts into the room, and the three look at each other, in complete shock.
"Uh..." Chris says.
"Uh..." Chef says.
"OH MY GOD!" Jessica screams.
- --from Total Drama Campsite, by Zoomer72
February '12 - Noticing the knife next to him, Michael knew what he had to do. He could end all his pain with just the right cut. It would get rid of all the pain he was feeling. Picking up the knife, he placed his hand on the counter. In one swift move, he brought his knife down.
Picking up his newly sliced piece of cake, he began to think about how truly lonely he was.
February '12 - Oh, wow, Lindsay thought, suddenly feeling weak in the knees yet unable to tear her gaze from that sapphire abyss that was Justin’s eyes, a guy as hot as me. Never thought I’d see the day. Could he be The One?
Oh, wow, Justin thought, suddenly feeling weak in the knees yet unable to tear his gaze from that cerulean abyss that was Lindsay’s eyes, a girl as gorgeous as me. Never thought I’d see the day. Could she be The One?
March '12 - Tsuyoshi answers, "Life has been pretty intense, I guess. With the whole world knowing that I'm homosexual..."
Doyce slams his hands on his table and shouts, "I knew it!" Everyone in the crowded room momentarily looks over at Doyce, then back to Tsuyoshi.
Tsuyoshi's face is red. He says, "Almost the whole world."
- --from Total Drama: Best of the Best, by Sprinklemist
March '12 - Ferguson: A few weeks ago, my family was killed in an elephant stampede. Well, actually, it wasn’t my family. And they weren’t actually killed. I was watching Jumanji on TV, but that proves just how useful an elephant repellent could be!
April '12 - "What?" asks Trey. "You find my last name funny?"
"Yes, I actually do. I mean, Clair is a girl's name. So basically part of your last name is a girl's name. And St. reminds me of St. Nicholas, who is Santa Claus. And Santa Claus is basically some fat guy who comes in and steals your cookies. He also sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake and bad and good so be good for goodness sake. And a tray is something you put food on when you're at a crappy restaurant. So, basically, your name is Something-you-put-food-on-when-you're-at-a-crappy-restaurant Santa Claus Girl's Name," says Arthur.
April '12- “Who’s there?” asked Oweguy. A silhouette was shown in the hallway. “An old friend.” said the man. When he walked into the room it was shown that it was Murdoch but he was now dressed like the Joker.
“Murdoch?” asked Oweguy shocked. “Oh thank goodness. When you went missing after the giant Nianah challenge I thought you were dead!”
“Dead?” asked Murdoch surprised. “Oh no no no no no. I was just missing."
May '12 - “Hey Mommy,” Julie’s son says. “Why did you have kids?”
“The same reason anyone has kids,” Julie replies. “To use them to win Featured Quote. Now win Mommy’s love and get me a Featured Quote!"
“Sprinklemist!” Julie’s son yells nervously, throwing sprinkles.
“Ravioli Pixie!” Julie’s daughter yells nervously, throwing ravioli.
“Well,” Julie says. “You were as subtle as a sledgehammer and as clever as this story’s plot. But, I’ll accept it, for now. But you have much to learn.”
May '12 - There were a lot of things to say, but from that point on I would always be sure that the way we looked at each other right then expressed more than words ever could. We were hurt and numb and exhausted, but we were alive.
And when I really thought about it, I realized that after everything, being alive was really all we could ask for.
June '12 - Katie and Sadie happened to be quiet for once (good thing too, I don't have my Human-Annoying Squealing Dictionary on hand), and Lindsay was strolling around Playa de Losers looking for her boyfriend, who, surely enough, was right behind her, trying to tell her that he was Tyler. (She's a real keeper, huh?)
Beth was fawning over shirtless Justin (who, from this point forth, will be called “Anti-Me”), and Anti-Me seemed to be enjoying it. Courtney was prowling the area for Harold, who was, at the moment, hiding behind Leshawna....
June '12 - A raft arrives carrying a serious looking man with various piercings, and wearing all black clothes. "This is Nichols!" says Chris announcing the young man's arrival.
Kelly says, "Look, a goth contestant. How original, Chris."
Nichols grabs Kelly and points a hairbrush to her throat, "Never call me a goth again," he says in a menacing voice.
Kelly answers, "Oh, what will you do? Brush me to death?"
Nichols is about to answer Kelly, but he looks down at the hairbrush in his hands and blushes. He lets go of Kelly and walks away from her.
Third Run Winners (July 2012 - September 2014)
July '12 - Tolkien is sweating heavily. "That was insane... Ugh, Kav, mind if I puke in your shirt..."
"Lawlz, sure," says Kavren. "Arthur does that all the time."
August '12 - Millie yells, "Yeehaw!" as she rides by on the back of a horse.
"Where did that horse come from?" Crimson Rose asks.
Sandi says, "Oh, gee. How do I put this? When a mommy horsie and a daddy horsie love each other very much..."
Alexander's face turns red. He says, "I do not think that's what she meant..."
- --from Total Drama Time Travel, by Sprinklemist.
September '12 - "What do you mean, slobby 'n' disgusting?" asks Arthur cluelessly.
"This, for instance." Nic holds up something that looks like a piece of toilet paper with a suspicious yellow liquid, some raisins, and a large chest hair hanging to it. "I've seen, like, ten of these."
"Oh, that is Vance," says Arthur.
"Vance?" says Nic.
"Yup, he's my BTPF," says Arthur. "Best Toilet Paper Friend. He talks to me sometimes."
October '12 - “You all remember Eileen from last chapter right? Thanks to a forgotten part of the chapter and fanlike, Eileen didn’t die in the plane’s engine like planned and will most likely becoming a recurring character.”
“Just read the question,” Toby says.
Jenny opens the letter, shows Toby and reads it, “Dear Jenny and Toby, why does it take so long for new chapters to be posted? From, the three to four people who actually read this.”
“Does that three to four people count Rhonda’s mother?” Toby asks.
“How rude,” Jenny says. “You know Rhonda’s mother is too classy read this crap.”
November '12 - "What is wrong with you, Chris?" Frazier pointed out. "You eliminate two on the same team? That's just cruelty!"
"Leave her be," Earnest yelled from his seat. "This fight doesn't concern you."
"Earnest," Frazier replied. "You have your own battles to attend to. If Chris succeeds, then he'll eliminate two of you next, regardless of team. He might even go off the deep end. You ever see him plan on actually killing someone?"
Some of those seated raise their hands.
"And I don't mean another intern," Frazier added.
Just like that, hands went down.
- --from Total Drama America, by JERealize
December '12 - Inna is shown in the confessional, "So, you might be wondering what kind of liquid delicacy is that," the blonde says excitedly, "It's a family recipe. My mother and grandma love it, and I guess my little sister enjoys it too, we even stopped using the funnel some months ago!" Inna holds her hands together, "It consists of beet, radish and raw cow liver! Oh, and a tiny bit of peppermint! Hmmm, delicious," she licks her lips.
January '13 - “Nalyd Renrut-Scrooge!” Ravibelle snapped, glaring down at her fiancé. “You won’t end up meeting me and you know it! You’ve missed every date I’ve made, you keep postponing our wedding, and whenever I do see you, all you do is complain about money! Well, I’ve had enough of money getting between us, Nalyd! You’ve got plenty of money!”
“Plenty, yet not enough,” he interrupted dismissively.
Ravibelle’s glare heated, her brows furrowing and fists clenching. “Fine then. Keep your money, if you love it so. I’m finished with you.”
February '13 - [Cody:] “Funny, though, Katie doesn’t really seem like your type, unless you had a domination fantasy watching her and Sadie own Chris on the diving cliff.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” [Noah] retorted. “Everything about her is wrong. Too skinny, too shallow, too little-girly…not especially bright…less fashion sense than I have, which is saying something…But when you put it all together, somehow it works. But then, you’d know all about that.”
“I hear you,” Cody conceded. “Gwen’s smart, but beyond that, I can’t explain why she turns me on. But you’d better believe that she does!”
March '13 - Chris gives a wide smile. He says, "Let's meet our first contestant. Her words sting more than my mother's, and cause physical damage to whoever she insults. Let me introduce Acid Tongue."
A young woman with auburn hair, and a bright green costume steps up to where Chris is standing. She says, "That introduction was pathetic at best." Chris flinches. "My pet cat could have done better, and she's been dead for three years."
- --from Total Drama Super Powered, by Sprinklemist
April '13 - The teen held out a hand to Chris and said, “Hi I’m Junior.” Chris went to shake his hand but as soon as he did he felt a painful shock. Chris retracted his hand and looked down to see a small button attached to Junior's hand. “I can’t believe you fell for that,” Junior said hysterically, “Loser.” Chris looked at his hand in pain while Chef snickered behind him.
"What're you laughing at," demanded Chris
Chef smirked at Chris and said, "Nothin', just the truth."
- --From Total Drama Relocated, by SpaceWeather
May '13 - "Wait... Really? After sixteen years of making me do your dirty work, you're FINALLY realizing this?" Charles says, extremely shocked.
"Yeah," says Layla. "That's why I want you to have this million-dollar suitcase."
Charles' mouth opens wide. "And you will not steal it?"
"Psshaw, no," Layla says happily. "Take it, do whatever you want with it. I'm already rich, and this would probably just be used for the stuff I bathe in. Quit your job, buy your own mansion, I don't care. Just do whatever your life leads you to do."
June '13 - Duncan wasn’t sure he really wanted to know, but he elected to tempt the gods nonetheless. “Why do you have standees of Lady Loony’s imaginary friends?”
“They’re the backup singers,” Chris explained.
“Let me guess,” Noah said dryly. “The Pixie Chicks.” The other campers groaned.
Chris heard this reaction and deemed it good. “The greatness of a pun is measured not by the laughs, but by the groans,” he declared.
July '13 - "Go ahead and eat me." Nellie says depressingly. "It is better than dealing with the harsh cruelty of the world… If you’re lucky, puma, a poacher will catch you and turn you into a fur carpet. Or maybe they'll sell you as a pet and you'll live caged and abused every day, alone, till you die. Maybe you'll even catch diseases that harm our pets today, like Feline AIDS. So eat me and look forward to your life. Who knows? Maybe I'll cause you indigestion."
The puma, creeped out, runs away. The Fun Bunch cheer while Nellie sighs. "Life sucks. A lot."
July '13 - "OHF,” Cap’n Sally replies bitterly. “A ginormous whale...I call her…Blaineley.”
“Wait like Blaineley the former contestant...?” Jovi asks.
“Ay,” Cap’n Sally replies. “Because they’re both divas. ...OHF had a bounty and I was trying to cash in, but when hunting the troll it did something horrible…”
“Ate your hand?” Sierra asks.
“Yes,” Cap’n Sally replies. “But she did something far worse…she tricked me into…investing in a time share!”
Sierra and Julie gasp, holding each other in fear.
“That’s awful!” Sierra states.
“So wait, did the whale eat your hand?” Courtney asks
September '13 - The blond turned to see Britt staring at her [...] “Aren’t you worried I might infect you with my lies?”
Britt shrugged, “I’ve built up an immunity. Jade’s all you girls seem to be able to talk about.”
Rosalie nodded, “well. She was the monster responsible for basically every bit of emotional pain any contestant felt on this island. If you’re here to ask for my vote, I can assure you, that you won’t be getting it. Face it Britt, the Holy Trinity has prevailed. And with your elimination, the darkness that Jade created will finally be vanquished. Just give up.”
October '13 - Reddy shifts the car into gear and speeds down the road a bit before smashing into a tree. “I’m OK,” he calls. The car then explodes and a flaming pom-pom lands right in front of Toad. Cries of pain can be heard from the wreckage and Reddy himself ran out of it on fire before dropping to the ground dead.
[back in the present]
“Professor... that’s not true at all.”
Professor Crawle looked him in the eye and said, “Perhaps not... but you have no idea how much I wish it was.”
Professor Crawle gave a grim smile and said, “Anyhow back to the story.”
- -- from Pokemon; The Wiki Adventures, by SpaceWeather
November '13: - One young fellow named Brandon loved to sound like the machines that the humans rode in. "Vroom, vroom," he’d buzz with his wings as the speaker came to the McDonny, then squeak like the machine stopping, and finally "Beep! Beep!" or "HOOONNNNKK!" if they didn’t give him food fast enough.
The first time he did this, everyone was laughing for a long time. No one had made those noises for the group before now, and many others wanted to follow his lead. Brandon became the machine sound expert, and began to teach others in the same way as Colette – by having fun!
December '13: - “Ah, Ray my dear, I knew you could naturally feel while I was near! This must mean we have a connection!” Ray was silent, so Dalton moved to walk alongside her and then continued talking. “You can’t deny that you must feel something for my," Dalton began flexing his arms, “Manly physique."
“You’re right Dalton I do feel something," Ray said with mock infatuation.
Dalton looked down at her in surprise and began to say, “Ah I knew you couldn’t resist my manly..."
Ray cut him off by yelling, “I feel like ripping your ‘manly’ arms off and beating you with them!"
- --from Total Drama Relocated, by SpaceWeather
January '14: - “Hey, Cody, got a minute?”
His gloomy reverie interrupted, Cody looked up toward the now-familiar voice, and saw the now-familiar half-Asian face that went with it.
“Sure, Heather. What’s up?”
The queen bee sat down beside him and said, “I have a business proposition for you.”
“You’ve made it pretty clear that you’re into Gwen. I don’t pretend to understand why, but I’m willing to help you there.”
“Cool. What do you have in mind?”
“I’ll admit that it’s looking like Trent’s aced you out,” Heather began. “But let’s suppose, hypothetically, for the sake of argument, that Guitar Guy were to go home tomorrow.”
February '14: - Suddenly, a monkey swings in and lands on Rhonda's shoulder.
"What is that?" Chris asks.
"Is this a trick question?" Rhonda replies with a question.
"I'm serious. What is that?" Chris asks.
"Well, that depends. Can you be less vague?" Rhonda asks.
"That," Chris says, pointing.
"My shoulder?" Rhonda asks.
"THE MONKEY!" Chris yells.
"...If you know what it is, why ask?" Rhonda says confused.
March '14: - "I had a nice talk with Heather about her team and I am expecting to not be disappointed," Eris said.
"So who is it going to be?" Blaineley asked.
"Either that sugar-sprinkled-nicey-nice-makes-me-want-to-vomit Cindy, or the apathetic bore that has horrid social skills with her team, but shines in the limelight with their rivals AKA Gwen," Eris snickered at her own humor and sighed. "That team is on their last leg."
"If they are on their last leg, we are on our last toe," Blaineley said, referring to being the smallest team left.
April '14: - Sadie had been obliged to sit closer to the mouth when they sought the meager shelter that the cleft offered. This arrangement now worked in their favor as Sadie put her back to the wind and her bulk mostly shielded her dying friend from both wind and rain. Sadie’s stratagem left her more exposed to the elements than she would otherwise have been, and thus would diminish her chance of survival for the sake of boosting Katie’s, but the butterball saw no alternative and so accepted the risk.
Deliberately echoing Katie’s last words, Sadie said, “Best friends forever. Double or nothing.”
May '14 - "Here!" Brian finished...and showed everyone. He started playing the video.
"Brian, honey," Diamond started, "this video is just a close-up of CeCe's face lip syncing."
"I know!" Brian said. "Listen, it solves our problem -- no one can see...what's in the background -- plus it has artsy value. It's just like Kinge's video for Basketball Court."
"THAT'S your genius idea?" Jaime asked.
"I love it!" CeCe and Trish said at the same time. They both reacted disgusted for a second and then returned to their faux happy demeanor.
CeCe and Trish (CONF): (in a split screen) There is something seriously weird going on with her.
June '14 - Trent stood up just in time to hear one of the loudest screeches he’d ever heard followed by, “YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT REDSHIRT! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND YOU’LL REGRET EVER BEING BORN!”
“Well,” Justin began, “Looks like they got Blaineley.”
DJ came walking back to the stage, a struggling and goop covered Blaineley in his arms. “PUT ME DOWN YOU GIANT APE! LET ME GO DESTROY THAT REDSHIRT! I WANT HER TO FEEL MY WRATH! NO ONE MESSES WITH MY APPEARANCE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!”
July '14 - Katie pointed at a skink she’d spotted on one of the trees lining the thicket and asked, “But you could talk to that lizard over there and it would tell you what kind of day it’s having?”
[Dawn:] “I try to avoid talking to lizards. All they want to do is sell me insurance.”
August '14 - “So nobody targets us for being a couple again,” Bridgette states. “We need to do it around a lot of people so everybody knows.”
“Okay, gotcha,” says Geoff, winking. “HEY EVERYBODY! BRIDGETTE AND I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU OVER HERE!”
Bridgette sighs. “Subtle, Geoff.”
“Thanks, babe,” says Geoff, as Noah walks over. “I mean… I HATE YOU YOU STUPID UGLY WITCH!”
Bridgette looks shocked. “Um… I can’t believe you made out with my sister?”
“AND I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE OUT WITH MY SISTER!” Geoff yells back. Everyone has started to arrive, and they all stare at Bridgette.
Fourth Run Winners (June 2015-Present)
June '15 - "Yeesh. Relax," Gwen said, walking over to the large sliding door. She reached over and tried pushing the door open. No luck. She kicked the door and grunted. "Why is this stupid door not opening?"
"Maybe because you need to read the signs," Lindsay said. She walked over to part of the wall and pushed a large red button that said: 'OPEN'. Upon pressing it, the sliding door popped out of the wall and slid open, revealing a large, fancy looking room.
(Conf), Gwen: Wow. Pwned by Lindsay. That's upsetting.
July '16- Dear Nothing,
Ever since I departed on this grandiose, meaningless adventure, I have encountered nothing but stupidity. Everyone on this ship seems to see themselves as having some kind of place, like they are meant to be here, or something. There also seems to be an overabundance of chatter about our destination; if I saw any purpose in engaging with these people, I would not neglect to inform them that our destination is nothing. At the end of the day, whoever wins this competition, and whoever loses, both will meet the same soulless, lifeless void; none of their accomplishments ever mattering, their names fading into obscurity as the next generation of blind patrons emerge to ride on the deceptive carnival ride that is life.
Why no one else can see it besides me is a point of wonder, but not one I am interested in pursuing. Ignorance is bliss, and unless ignorance comes up and tries to start a conversation, I see no reason to crush it. Really-